#both exams are over now
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I’d like to thank my weird and oddly specific obsession about oxygen candles for getting me through my inorganic chemistry exam
#like how else would you make oxygen in a spaceship?#current mood#both exams are over now#I have a feeling I will pass#but with a lower grade than usual#but still a win#now I can go home and draw my clone blorbo
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me to myself: you get to draw tim stoker, as a treat
#magnus archives#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#tma#tma spoilers#tma fanart#art#tim stoker#timothy stoker#tma season 2#tma season two#character design#character art#i decided tim would have both an eyebrow slit and a piercing because he's just as indecisive as i am#“sasha do i get the slit or the piercing”#“why not both”#“oh my god marry me”#hopefully more character designs on the way!#i've had a hectic week so far because i've just had my a level art exam#but it's all over now and i have more time than ever#so hopefully i can get some other stuff done that i have in mind#including designs for our lovely archive crew#magpod#magnus pod#tma podcast
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i'm posting these mediocre sketches before school kicks my ass again
#camp camp#camp camp fanart#cc preston#god im so pissed my computer never lasts long enoug for me to finish at least ONE drawing#and i dont even have time to go fix it because of exams#cc nikki#cc nurf#AAND i cant download episodes anymore so now i feel like a huge failure#cc gwen#save me cc episode 3 season 5#cc neil#cc ered#my art#i think preston and nikki would bond over nikki's new found femininity#since they most likely didn't get along very well before because of their differences#nikki could teach him how to fight idk#this episode validated my trans ered headcanon and my camp counselor ered headcanon#tough being right all the time#i really like that ered and nurf are both trying to become better people#i know they wont treat nurf's quote on quote growth seriously but im so happy to see so much focus on ered#i genuinly never thought this would ever happen im over the moon#ered<3333
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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#been on a long hiatus#from both FR and art#hopefully I can get back into stuff now that exams are over#this art is from Feb#I'm back from the dead maybe#Ghoulie#fr art#flight rising art#flight rising#fr mirror#vix art
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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i am late on this but !!
BLUE LOCK S2 FOR OCT AAAAAAAAA
#we ignore the questionable colour choicing for rin and yoichis auras#TRY OUT AND U20 MATCH ARC NOW WAYING FOR THIS YEAR IM SKDHFNDK#SAE !!!!! U20 SAE !!!!!!!!!!#AND KARASU AND YUKIMIYA ITS SO OVER FOR ME#and u20 rin…. ohhhhh….. ohhhhhhhhhh……..#and also just. shidou. yeah. thats gonna be fun animated and voiced. esp considering who his va is 🧍♀️#man i need to catch up on the manga in celebration for this fr#and also robin trailer drop in a few hours…. lord save me…..#anywho its midnight and i need to sleep and get up early later bc who in their right mind thought it would a good idea to have exams at#9:30 in the morning :) i am wishing them for both sides of thejr pillows to be warm :)#sophie’s idle chatter
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2 days till my final exam rant in tags sorry i gotta let it spill somewhere 😭
#IM DYINGGGG#there are so many things to memorise#and theyre gonna pick 2 questions from a list of 60?????#and my whole degree relies on this?????#im sorry who the hell thought of this system#id MUCH rather write a 2h long exam than have to orally answer questions for 10mins fr#and if i get a topic i dont fully understand that’s it. it’s over for me#bc u have to answer both to pass#they should at least let us pick 2 out of 3 or something 😭#i also hate my procrastinating ass#i shoulda been doing 15qs a day and ive been doing between 1 and 5#and now i have 50 questions (so probably around 70A4 pages) to memorise by THURSDAY AT 9AM#i swear to god why do i always do this#also turns out that for the thesis presentation it’s forbidden to use notes 😀#I AM NOT GOOD AT SPEAKING I AM NOT GOOD AT THIBKING MY MEMORY SUCKS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PASS THIS#im so fucking anxious#but funniest thing is IM STILL ACTIVELY PROCRASTINATING#LIKE??? ISNT THE PRESSURE ENOUGH YET??????#i fucking KNOW for a FACT even if i started studying RIGHT NOW i probably wont make it with all the questions by the exam date#and i skipped ALL THE HARDEST ONES FOR NOW#i swear to god guys im gonna go fucking crazy with this#i know it’s nearly over but it’s KILLING MEEEEE#please why cant i skip time to when it’s over#help me manifest not getting a finance/law question pls guys#hela yaps
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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i wish teddie was real. do you think if i familiarized him with how everything works he could make prescription glasses on demand
#ugh i just had an eye exam the other day and my eyes are wayyyy worse than last time#i’m finally over -3 in both eyes now#glasses are so expensiveeeee#i would tolerate any and all bear puns and comments about scoring for free prescription glasses#rambles
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hate how I have to spend time worrying about school. I want to spend that time drawing furries. why am I worrying about my spanish and maths exams when I could be drawing a cat instead
#mole talks#i just wanna go do those exams right now and get it over with but i still have to wait hours until i can do them#waaa#<- crying noises!!!!!#its 05:55am that's a nice time i like that time#im going back to bed probably. goodnight tumblr#i will probably pass both exams anyway i dunno why im worrying
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chat i think we are cooked
#i took the first two exams of uni ever & im pretty sure i did bad on both 💀💀#im. trying to not tell myself that its ok & its not as bad as i think it is but i feel stupid as hell right now#like. idk. huge imposter syndrome i guess? like that im possibly the dumbest in this entire campus…. whatever#vent#delete later#augggg#& i studied for both… idk once i get over it ill come back with a vengeance#i just need to not feel too awful until i get my grades back ig
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Now I'm just mad and that makes me sad. :/ I really do try incredibly hard not to hate things in this fandom, which doesn't always work out because, you know, feelings, and I don't want to think about hating things! I want to think about things I like!
#also I am exhausted because I had to proctor an exam at 8 am this morning#and the surface is for real dying this time which was REAL inconvenient#(light on the power cord keeps blinking but either the charger or the battery or both have been whack for while now)#(yes I bought a new computer but I was hoping to not have to set it up until AFTER finals)#plus I keep getting information overload on some job/work/school stuff#I am just very very tired#during the last few years of being a star war I hated nearly everything and it was an absolutely miserable fannish experience#I do not want to repeat it which is why if I think I'm going to hate something I simply do not watch it#honestly my greatest fannish achievements of the year have been realizing when I'm heading for a rage blackout and turning off the episode#(what if rewatch on the cc ep and secret invation)#but what if makes me insane in completely different ways except for The One Thing#(probs because it's so variable so I can't simply go 'not for bedlams!' and move on with my life like I did with si)#your girl#(also I realized that when s1 aired I legit have like. fannish ptsd. over the entire concept of 'the animation might become live action.'#I do not say that lightly but the scars from the star war run REAL deep. I still remember how bad my reaction to various articles was!)#I'm going to go for a walk and maybe buy some cupcakes
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study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true
#my advice#but this saying is sooo true#i know some people at uni who study for exam so long and hard but then fail or just barely make it :(#like what are you doing? i don't mean this in a mean way but it doesn't have to be this difficult#i don't understand how some people can study for an exam for 2 weeks or even a month and still fail and i don't think they're stupid#or i don't see myself as particulary smart#but i guess they just waste their time a lot and i realized studying effective is so important#now everyone is a bit different and has to find what works best for them but there are certain techniques which are proven to work well#there is so much information on the internet on this look it up seriously#it made my life sm easier i never struggled in uni like i did in school and i get good grades#and if i ever struggled a bit it was because i started so late it was almost impossible to pass 😂#which is why to do both is still best 😂#but i actually always made it and i never failed an exam at uni (which i studied for)#(two i was fooled into to just try without studying bc it's easy lol)#i mean i shouldn't speak too soon but i already made it through some of the most difficult of my studies#ofc it depends on what you study how well this works but i'm speaking for myself#i once passed an exam with a B studying only 2 days as one of the best students while others studied 2 weeks#and got worse grades or failed#still studying only 2 days is stupidity don't do it 😅#so the techniques i find very helpful are ofc exam questions probably the best one#if there are none make your own#then blurting for which there are different ways but i like to just go over a topic and then write down everything i remember#then fill the gaps#quizlet is also great it's an app which allows you to create cards and then tests you in creative ways#videos can be helpful as well for summaries and using summaries in general is normally enough it saves you sm time#normally you don't actually need to know everything but you should be careful it's not a bad summary leaving out too much 😅#and i also like mindmaps bc i'm a very visual person#but all those tipps are mostly for remembering information so it doesn't work so well for other fields of study#well i hope this is somewhat helpful idk 🙈#oh and reading texts over and over again is the most useless in my opinion i don't remember much at all and it takes sm time
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What do you know, I may be able to finish this project in a timely manner
#dudeeee I want to be done with this so so bad#this is what happens when you're actually busy with other stuff as well#you're better at time management#can't wait for this exam session to be over so I can 1) play some viddy games 2) start looking at these two new subjects#3) get back to music practice 4) discuss smt about my traineeship#my post#now back to half an hour of work and then to sleep#oh I should also read this article I saved a few days ago on network science and Bach's music#(which I might use as a half baked excuse to start a new conversation 🤡)#(the situation is starting to get on my nerves because I'm somehow both 'yeah whatever hope we get to meet again and hang out'#and 'I need to know what's going through their mind so bad' with a dash of 'I'm pretty sure I don't even like them that much'#'I'm just overidealizing them because of a series of circumstances'
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..
#kms i missed therapy and queer figure drawing today#it's not their fault it's the hospital being a fucking shitshow but. my partner's oncology exam took over 4 hours instead of 1#and idk we're both so exhausted and drained nd. there goes our whole day & not any closer to figuring out their medical situation :(#i just feel so sad and angry on their behalf#and like. it doesnt matter in comparison there's definitely bigger fish to fry but. i am also bummed abt having to cancel therapy and qfd.#im only making it known in this little space bc again it's small potatoes compared to what my partner is going thru#they were. not especially kind or understanding toward my partner but at least it's seeming unlikely that their cancer came back#so that's good but um. what now. theyre still dealing w debilitating symptoms 😭 come the fuck on#anyway.#delete later
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