#booker talking about fucking a man?

[yusufstits]

thinking about nile having nightmares and not being able to sleep post london and then being very tired during the day and taking naps on whoever's around

[normal-thoughts-official]

still so fucking mad that the ONLY non-US song they play in the ENTIRE movie is the most US-sounding rap in the whole wide world, it plays for three fucking seconds, AND they only really play the French bit and as soon as the Arabic part starts they lower the voice and leave only the beat. WHERE IS MY GOLDEN AGE OF ISLAM ARAB MUSIC BITCHH

ok i'm gonna try rewatching tog again. surely my pc will behave this time

this is your last call to blacklist "tog rewatch" if u dont wanna see me talking about it etc etc

[pwnyta]

HUH

So no one was gonna tell me about The Old Guard?

I was supposed to just find it on a random ass Halloween 4 years after it aired... aight.

I mean I thought we were cool but I see how it is.

Anyways I watched it and I loved it IF YOU EVEN CARE.

Opinions-

Andy- Phenomenal. Never seen Charlize Theron look so damn hot. Even with her spooky eyes. Crazy butch bisexual(?) wielding a labrys sometimes. Love. Her church fight was sick as hell... im in denial about the stab tho... you can pry her from my cold dead fingies Netflix.

Booker-Like... OK. Like I get he was sad but its so hard to feel bad for him sometimes and like.. I dont hate him at all but just... I do wanna strangle him a little. JUST A LITTLE. I dont want him to be gone and never see Andy again... I hate that. I hate this movie.

Nicky- Great side profile, terrific nose... what in the Ben Linus is going on with the eyes tho? Those pale buggy eyes... This is your man, Joe? This Italian priest Templar knight with ghost eyes? Aight. Ribbing aside... I love him. Even if hes got spooky eyes.

Joe- Mortal enemies to immortal lovers is diabolical work. If you give me friends to lovers... it better be Crusade era enemies to begrudging companions to understanding friends to soul mates or fucking dont talk to me about it. NGL Joes kinda my favorite. Hes a silly little guy. Maybe my love for Sayid has made me soft for hyper-competent, deadly, romantic, shiny eyed Muslim men IDK.

Nile- LOVE. ..Ya know when Andy was like 'shes just a baby' I was like I sure hope this movie dont make me ship them cuz the fandom is probably gonna be annoying about that line but their plane fight was so hot... SUE ME. ANYWAYS... I love her. Apparently theres a second movie coming out & I cant wait to see her get to be a silly lil guy with the fam cuz she is silly lil guy. I love her relationship with Andy & I hope Andy gets better so they can be together forever & there can be some messy lesbian love triangle nonsense when Quynh.

Quynh- Dont got like... the deepest opinion of her just yet but her and Andy were like the Sapphic Nicky & Joe but in reverse.. like Nicky & Joe killed attacked each other then became lovers and it seems like Andy & Quynh were close and might become enemies? Of course IM GONNA IGNORE THE BAD STUFF AND PRETEND THEY JUST FIND EACH OTHER & ARE IN LOVE FOREVER. So...

Copley- Similar to Book I get his mindset but also I wanna strangle him a little. He is beautiful tho... so... Im interested in how hes gonna fit in with the gang... Im hoping for some drama at the start maybe them being like '...ya but hes not Booker...' and then Copley like... having some big hero moment saving the team or at least one of them and they get real close and then more drama because their new family is also just a normal guy & theyre gonna hurt to lose him some day. ANYWAYS.

MISC stuff I like-

The difference in how Nicky and Joe hug Andy.

Everything about this scene tbh. I just wanna see these types of scenes from now on. Silly lil guy moments.

Also Andys baklava addiction. Baklava is one of those things Ive always wanted to try... like boba and churros... ONE OF THESE DAYS.

This sick ass take down. Actually all the fight scenes were pretty sick. I like seeing them fight baddies all together... ODA TAKES NOTES. Also... full offense to guns but seeing Andy Nicky and Joe wield their old-school weapons is so much cooler... who brings a knife (labrys, long sword, scimitar) to a gun fight? THE COOLEST PEOPLE. THATS WHO.

Joe spitting out a bullet that he got shot in the face with.

'Shes just a baby!' (me with the whole team) Also TBF to Andy... Nile has such a cute baby face.

The development of Andy and Niles relationship. THO TBH I was bothered about Nile getting shot in the head because the exit wound woulda fucked her braids up.... I had a hard time focusing cuz I couldnt let that fact go lmao... It was driving me nuts...

The girls are fighting! (gone sexy)

Eepy not-boyfriends

Ancient head bonks of desperate affection. I hope all three of them head bonk Nile in the next movie. If this doesnt happen... im killing everyone in this room (its just me) and them myself.

This silly bitch in this moment.

Joes 'Hes not my boyfriend' speech. Incurable romantic indeed.

Honestly the soldiers tryin to insult Joe by mockingly asking if Nicky was his boyfriend and getting way more than they bargained for was fucking funny.

I just wish we coulda seen the faces of the guy driving the van as he heard the massacre in the back LMAO. Just keep drivin bud... aint nothin you can do about your boys in the back.

Immortal not-boyfriends gettin silly!

This is a nice plane! Theres a TV Joe!

lmao. The sillies.

Andy and Nile continuing to make me ship them.

Reunited and it feels so.... something but they were fighting together and it was real cool.

THEMB.

'You shot Nicky... you shouldnt have done that....'

Joe- Im a silly lil guy but (suplexes a man and breaks his neck)

Whyd he look so devastated after?

She wont jump out of a plane... but....

You betray Miette? You betray her like the bastard? Oh! OH! BANISHMENT FOR 100 YEARS!

Joe lookin at Booker the whole time... :c

[immortalmuses]

The Summer Olympics are here once again, so I am once again thinking about The Old Guard Summer Olympics AUs

Nicky in multi-event sharpshooting, including 50 meter rifle three position, 10 meter air rifle, and 25 meter rapid fire pistol

Quynh in Women's and Mixed individual Recurve Archery, 70 meters

Andromache in (yup, you guessed it) the Equestrian sport of Three Day Eventing, individual and team. She fucking hates the Dressage phase (don't blame me, I'm an eventer too), but she's also got the steadiest hands and the quietest seat in the sport, so good luck getting a lower score.

Joe in.... Football? Rugby Sevens? Maybe Fencing? the Man is too multi-talented, I am open to ideas.

Booker is another likely candidate for Football. Or, interestingly, Handball? Apparently France is like the four-time European champions of Handball. 🤷‍♂️

Nile is another multi-talent, but since Team America is known to dominate in Athletics (344 gold medals!), let's consider her for 110 or 400 meter hurdles, pole vault, maybe high jump? Anyway she's a badass, she could do the Decathlon and make it look like a walk in the park.

Obviously they are all great friends that get up to a variety of shenanigans in the Olympic Villages (of which they do not all belong to the same ones, because who puts Equestrians with Sharpshooters and expects the place not to burn down?). There's shit-talking, romance, broken carbboard beds, you get the idea....

PLEASE SEND YOUR THOUGHTS SO I CAN WRITE SOMETHING

[dark-twist-fairytales]

this might be spoilers!!! so just in case read this After episode 4 of uprooted but > the song booker sings in 4 is so sweet he cares about his vagabonds so muuch <3

So, I'm still on episode 4, but I got past the battle, and I genuinely almost started crying.

Underneath, I talk more. Plus, because I wanted to/it meant a lot to me, I also put the lyrics that Booker sings as well.

~~~

The song Andy sings is a cover of "The Crawdad Song", which is a deeply ingrained to my soul type of song. And, ironically, my exposure to that song was "The Andy Griffith Show", but literally, Andy, you could do the cutest thing and recreate the Andy and Opie scene.

(For the scene, this is what I'm talking about)

Booker, you have gained SO much more respect from me from one fucking song- And he used it for multiple spells, as if he was the background song instead of the intense battle song, I- Ughhh. ... No, I'm actually crying- He only calls his group 'honey'- I'm sobbing, I'm- Aughhh

Also, because I can, here are the lyrics written out that Booker sings (by the way, this song had many alliterations, there's no wrong way (that I've heard) to sing this song):

(To Hazel, for healing)

"You get a line and I got a pole, honey You get a line and I got a pole, babe You get a line and I got a pole And we'll go down to the crawdad hole Honey, sugar, baby, mine."

(To Grumley, protecting him with "Silvery Bards")

"Get up, my girl, you slept too late, honey Get up, my girl, you slept too late, babe Get up, my girl, you slept too late The crawdad man done passed your gate Honey, sugar, baby, mine."

(Final blow, using "Dissonant Whispers")

"Whatcha gonna do when the lake runs dry, baby? Whatcha gonna do when the lake runs dry, babe? Whatcha gonna do when the lake runs dry? Sit on the bank and watch the crawdads die Honey, sugar, baby, mine."

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Two

Warnings: Cursing, bit of smut, 18+ only

Masterlist

Chapter One

The day started almost normally for the couple except Moriah usually joined him when he went to workout or went to class but this time he left her sleeping peacefully in their bed. Being in the performance center felt surreal to him, a part of him felt like he shouldn't be there and he almost turned back around. He spent most of his day seeing doctors and a couple psychiatrists before he even got to look at workout equipment and the rings. 

"You look a lot different without Moriah on your hip," Booker called out with a smile as he approached him, "Lot less nice to look at too. What's going on man? You good? "

Zilla chuckled accepting the hand slap. "I'm good, just got done talkin to the docs and everything. Finally gettin out here to see all this."

"Yeah? And how you feel about all this?" Booker asked, gesturing with his hands. 

He took a moment trying to think through the question, that was the third or fourth time someone had asked but he still didn't have an answer. 

"Honestly," he started with a huff, "I don't know yet. Ask me again at the end of the week, big dog."

"Alright but I want my answer. How's Moriah and your mom? I'm sure they've called a few times already today."

"My mom called this morning and just been texting me. Fat ain't called surprisingly, probably stressing herself out about applying to hospitals and shit."

Booker grunted out a chuckle. "You probably right. I gotta do a few things but ima come back around to check on you. Don't hurt yourself."

After Booker left him, Zilla found a corner to sit in and pulled out his phone. He checked his messages, responding to a few then called his girlfriend. 

"Hey, baby. You okay?" Her voice flowed excitedly through the receiver putting a smile on his face. 

"Yeah, I'm good. Glad to hear your voice, Fat. Thought you would've called me by now."

"I wanted to but I didn't wanna bother you or mess anything up on your first day," she sighed softly, "Plus my mom and dad, mostly my mom, bought a living room set for us and it got delivered a lil bit after you left."

He scrunched his face up at her words. "Living room set?"

"Yup. Sofa, coffee table, TV stand and another TV. My dad said he was tryna talk her out of it because I'd already told him that we had it."

"But Ms. Nadine just couldn't help herself," he chuckled, biting at his low cut nails, "Shit that's alright though. We can call her and thank her later."

"Um, that's okay, Zay. I can just text her a thank you for the both of us. "

He glanced around the empty room as he spoke. "Naah, we can call her. I'd rather say what I gotta say to her than text it."

The line went silent for a moment. 

"What you gonna say?"

"Ima thank her for thinking enough about us to give us a spot to get busy till we get our bed cause that air mattress ain't gon hold up if I fuck you on it."

He laughed loudly at her choking and sputtering that followed his words. While he was laughing and said it jokingly, Moriah knew that given the chance Zilla would absolutely say that to her mother to get under her skin. 

"Isaiah!"

"What?" He laughed. "Can't nobody hear me but you."

She laughed. "You're not talkin to my mama ever cause I know you and you will say it."

"It's the least I can do after she bought us condoms and a sofa. She clearly wanna make sure I'm able to give you what you need so she want me to thank her."

"And what does Zilla think I need?"

"Zilla thinks, nah Zilla know you need some dick. Been what a week? Yeah, that's too long, you gon get all grumpy and shit."

"I hate you, I truly do."

"I see you ain't deny it though. You know Zilla right. Ain't I, Fat?"

Hearing footsteps, Zilla looked up seeing an unfamiliar man standing there with his hands up near his chest,  laughing a bit. 

"My bad, man. Ain't know nobody was in here."

"You straight," Zilla stood from his spot, "I can move around if you needa workout."

"Ion wanna interrupt your call. I know what its like sneaking to make phone calls, them coaches do not play when you supposed to be working out," he chuckled, "Edwin but everybody call me Bronco. It's easier. You Zilla, ain't it?"

The two men shook hands while Moriah cooed into the phone. 

"Yeah that's me. Good to meet you, you like the first actual wrestler I met since I been in this bitch." He chuckled. 

Bronco laughed, going to sit his water jug down. "Felt the same way my first day. All I saw was them damn doctors. You wanna lift with me? It's gon be a minute for somebody else come talk to you."

Zilla thought for a moment then nodded. "Yeah, that sounds cool. Ain't doin shit else. Fat," He called into the phone, taking a small step away, "Ima call you when I get a chance but call or text if you need me. Aight?"

"Awwwee my baby making friends. I'm so proud of your mean ass. You go head I'll be okay."

He laughed, "Doin way too much. Love you."

'Love you too," she giggled, "Go lift with your friend and be nice. Oh and get his number and gamer tag thingy."

"Man," he laughed, "Bye, Fat."

The two set up the weights they were comfortable with on their own leg extensions before starting. Being able to hold a conversation with someone who not too long ago went through the same process he's going through felt like a breath of fresh air. He had talked to plenty of veterans and current superstars but they were far removed from his current situation. It didn't hurt that he was close in age either.

"That was your girl?" Bronco asked, glancing over. 

He finished his rep before answering. "Yeah it was. Was checkin on her since she hadn't called."

"Long distance or she around here?"

"Around here," he chuckled, "Her mean ass wasn't gon let me be too far from her. She like to be up under me."

Bronco laughed a bit. "She mean and clingy? How that work?"

"Honestly hell if I know," he laughed, "She been that way since we was kids. Was mean as hell to me but cried or had a attitude if I left her."

"Oh yall been knowing each other? That's what's up. Yall been together for a minute?"

He shook his head as he did a few more reps. "Nah, it's been a year and a half. We just known each other since we was kids.."

"Damn that's a long ass time and she been mean as hell that whole time?" He joked.

Zilla stopped his reps to laugh. "Man, hell yeah. That's my Fat though." Unable to help himself, he pulled his phone out to show Bronco his lock screen which had a picture of him, her and his mom. "That's her."

"Respectfully, she's beautiful, man. Better hold on tight to her."

"Oh I plan on it. Already told her she ain't goin nowhere."

As he was putting his phone back into his pocket notifications started coming through. When he saw the notifications his smile dropped into a frown. He opened each one, took a screenshot then put his phone away. Although Bronco noticed his slight mood change, he said nothing not wanting to get in his business. 

"Which ones you think look better, Ma?"

Moriah propped her phone up on one of the shelves to hold up three sets of drapes.

"I think my son is gonna get you when he gets home," she laughed. "I'm starting to think he's right about you being hard headed."

After getting off the phone with her boyfriend, Moriah ubered to Target to get more things for their apartment and just like she would if she was still in Texas, Moriah brought Leata with her. Only this time it had to be virtually. 

"Ma," she laughed, "Don't do that. You're supposed to be on my side. Which ones? My arms getting tired."

Leata chuckled. "The sofa is gray so the gray and white ones. Black and red for the bedroom."

She put the selected ones into her buggy then grabbed her phone, continuing her trek through the store and her conversation. 

"And you couldn't do this when he got home, Rye?"

"I wanted to surprise him with a semi decorated apartment, Ma."

"Oh you're gonna surprise him alright. You and I both know he's gonna care about the fact that you did something he asked you not to do."

Moriah thought for a second as she came to a stop to look at dishes. "No, because this is gonna stay between me and you. I'll tell him I had it all delivered."

Leata stared at her trying not to laugh. She was honestly just glad the two of them wouldn't be arguing in her house and she didn't have to play referee. 

"I'm not gonna tell him but if he finds out, I'm not getting in trouble with you, Rye."

Moriah laughed louder than she intended, pressing on from the dishes. "You the mama though. You can just tell him that everything was okay."

"I am but none of my boys know that. Especially not Zilla."

"Well," she laughed, "At least we'll be in trouble together."

"What am I gonna do with you?" She laughed. "Get condoms while you're in there, Moriah. I don't care how many you have, you can always have more."

Moriah felt her skin heat up and she mumbled an 'okay'.

"Oh now she's quiet," Leata joked. "You act like I have no idea what you and my son do. Like the two of you weren't in my house doing it."

She laughed. "Yeah but remember I said we call it Bruno and don't talk about it. We just act like it doesn't happen."

It was Leata's turn to laugh. "Oh please, Rye. Get the condoms or we're really gonna have to talk about you expecting."

"Aht. No. We would just call that immaculate conception and leave it at that."

In the hours Moriah waited for the arrival of her boyfriend, she put away the groceries she had delivered, hung drapes in their bedroom and living room, hung up their pictures around their apartment and put the decorations she'd gotten around their living room. She had gotten him a gift for his first day at the PC, left it wrapped on their new sofa while she started on dinner. 

It was a little after 6 p.m. when Zilla came through the door. He dropped his bag near the door then headed to the breakfast bar where he dropped his keys. Stopping what she was doing, Moriah went to him with a big smile on his face and jumped on him excitedly. He offered no movement to hold onto her nor did he kiss her back when she placed her lips on his. Instead he stared at her. 

"I missed you, baby. How was your day? You tired?" She smiled, her arms and legs still wrapped around him. 

"It was straight. No, I'm not tired." 

He tapped her hip, letting her know he wanted her to get down and she did. After staring at him for a moment, she grabbed his hand turning him back to the living room. 

"So this is what my parents got. My dad said he picked the sofa because she tried to be funny again and pick a small one. Like it?" Moriah chuckled. "I decorated a little to make it feel like a home for us. I got us drapes for in here and our bedroom. Our pictures are up."

Zilla looked around, nodding as he did. His nostrils flared slightly. "I see. I'm finna take a shower. I'll be back," he informed as he pulled his hand away from hers. 

She laughed a little, "Oh you're not gonna ask if I need anything before you get in?"

He chuckled a bit, rubbing his hands together. "Nah, you pretty good at gettin what you need. You got it."

With that, he went to their bedroom, closing the door behind him. She thought to go behind him but decided against figuring being at the PC conjured up some deep feelings and he needed time to himself. She grabbed his bag from the floor, took it to their laundry closet and deposited most of it into the washer. Once the machine was running, she went back to cooking Zilla's actions were mostly forgotten. She knew eventually he would apologize and explain himself, she wasn't exactly worried. 

Thirty minutes later, he was back leaning against the breakfast bar watching his girlfriend quietly. His phone sat unlocked on the bar in front of him. She turned around to grab a paper towel and screamed, her hand clutched over her heart. 

"You scared the shit outta me, Zay. You need a bell," she fussed, playfully. "Why you just standing there looking at me?"

He continued to stare at her, trying to carefully put his words together in his head. 

"Seriously, you're being weird. What's wrong with you?"

He took a moment before responding.

"How you got all that?" He asked gesturing towards the living room. 

She turned the pots down on low then gave him her attention. "My parents bought that, Zay. You don't remember me telling you that?"

"I ain't talkin about that. I'm talkin about everything else."

"Oh," she giggled, "Thought you had a concussion. I ordered it from Target this morning. And some stuff from Walmart when I ordered the groceries."

He stared at her. "Yeah?"

"Uuh yeah. The rest of the stuff was in the gifts we got before we left Texas."

Pulling up his earlier screenshots, he turned his phone around and slid it across the counter to her. He watched her look between him and his phone. 

"Swipe left," he requested calmly, "It's three of em." He chuckled watching her face go from confused to nervous as she swiped through the uber confirmation, her location notification, and the target transaction on their bank account. "Ima ask again. How you got that?"

She pouted. "I was tryna surprise you."

"Surprise me by doin some shit I asked you not to do, Moriah? That's a helluva surprise. If that's ya idea of a surprise then I don't want no more from you."

"But, Zay, it was quick and nobody bothered me. And I'm Fat."

He squinted at her. "You think I give a damn about that? I asked you not to fuckin do it and you did it anyway, Moriah. How you thought I wasn't gon know? You used our bank account not yours, we share the uber account and we share our locations." 

She played with her fingers as he fussed at her. She wanted to say something but didn't know what to say that wouldn't make things worse. 

"What if something happened to your ass and I was at the PC? Who was gonna come get you?" He asked, hitting the counter. "The fuck was I gon do and I wasn't with you?"

It finally clicked for Moriah. She had scared him. 

"I didn't mean to scare you, Zilla. I didn't think about it like that."

He stared at her, his jaw clenching and nose flaring. "I clearly said I ain't want you gettin in no strange ass car yet you did that shit anyway. Ain't no surprise worth ya life, Moriah."

"I know, I just," his voice cut her off.

"No!" He barked, making her take a step back. "You don't know cause you did it anyway! Your mom already think I can't fuckin take care of you and you go and do that shit! I ain't move us to the other side of the country to lose ya lil ass just cause you hard headed, Moriah!"

Taking a chance, she moved around the bar to hug him. She hugged him tight, her head laid on his chest but just as when he'd gotten home, he made no move to return the affection. He let her hug him for a minute then pulled her arms from around him. 

"Watch out," he said softly. 

She tried to hug him again, only to be stopped. "I'm sorry, Zay. Just let me hug you."

"Forreal, Moriah, watch out." He put her hands by her side then grabbed his phone and went to their bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him.

Lying across their air mattress, he facetimed his mother. He was pretty sure that she knew what Moriah had done but he still wanted to talk to her. She answered with a smile until she saw him glaring at her. 

"Well hello to you too, son."

"You knew she went?"

"Hey, mom. How was your day? That's what normal children say to their mamas."

He huffed. "Hey, Ma. How was your day?"

"It was good. Thank you for asking, son. How was yours?" She asked with a slight brow raise. 

"It was good till I found out your daughter can't follow directions."

She chucked. "I told her that you were gonna find out."

"So you did know she went."

"Of course I did. Who do you think she took with her?" She deadpanned. "I talked to her from the moment she started getting ready until she finished putting things up when she got back."

He felt somewhat relieved about that but he was still pretty upset. 

"I asked her not to do that, told her that she could just drop me off and take the car but no. Just had to be hard headed like always."

"So if you know she's always hard headed, which by the way so are you, then why are you upset?" She asked. 

"Because, Ma."

She stared at him. "Because what, son?"

"If something happened to her that would've been on me. What was I gon do without her mean ass?" He chuckled, starting to calm down. 

"Okay so when you asked her not to do it, did you tell her why you didn't want her to do it?"

"No but I shouldn't have to. Me askin her not to do it shoulda been enough."

Leata chuckled seeing the serious expression on his face. "Okay so knowing that she's hard headed, like you, you told her not to do something without giving her a reason. A reason that more than likely would've deterred her from doing it. I got that right?"

Huffing again, Zilla sat quietly thinking over her words. "When you put it like that, I get it but this ain't my fault, Ma. It's hers. She shouldn't have went."

"And that's true, she shouldn't have went but you also should've told her how you felt." She explained softly. "If you would've told her that you were afraid something would happen to her if she went, do you think she would've gone?"

"No."

"So then it sounds like you both have some fault in this, Zilla."

"I guess so, Mama."

"Now go talk to her and you're gonna apologize for yelling at her. You know better than that."

He frowned. "How you know I yelled at her?"

"Oh please, you think you're the only one who ran to me? She's been texting me this whole time," she laughed, "She knows her fault and now you know yours. Get in there and apologize."

"I'm goin, I'm goin," he said as he pushed himself up from the air mattress. 

"Thank God I'm not there. I love yall."

After hanging up with mom, Zilla took a second to get himself together before going back out to face his girlfriend. Seeing her curled up on the sofa in tears softened him up. He went to kneel in front of the sofa where she was, wiping the tears away from her face.

"Are you melting or are these tears?" He joked. 

She laughed a little through her tears as she sat up. "I'm melting. I'm also sorry. I should've respected your wishes and not done that."

He nodded, standing up from his position he pulled her up from the sofa and into his arms. He kissed her forehead, swaying them gently. 

"I accept your apology and I apologize for yelling and for my part." He spoke softly. "I should've told you how I felt. I can't lose you, I wouldn't know what the hell to do without your mean ass. I wanna keep you around for as long as I can, baby."

"I understand that now. Thank you for telling me."

He leaned down to capture her lips in a deep kiss. "You welcome. You still cookin'?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm finished. Hungry?"

He smirked as he lifted her up into his arms. "Yeah but not for that."

She gasped softly. "You don't wanna open your gift first?"

"If it ain't you inside that bag, it can wait." He responded, dropping her gently onto the sofa and climbing on top of her. "I'm more interested in breakin in this sofa Ms. Nadine got us."

Moriah squealed out a laugh as he buried his face in her neck. "You're still not talking to her. I didn't forget."

"Not yet I'm not," he responded biting her neck, "Gonna test this out first then give her a accurate review."

She giggled, "We need a condom, Zay."

Not stopping his kissing and biting on her neck, he pulled one from the pockets of his basketball shorts and held it up so she could see. 

"Always prepared," she joked softly. 

Moriah's moans mixed with the smacking of their skin and Zilla's groans and cursing echoed loudly throughout the apartment. He held a tight grip on her hip with one hand and the other landed smacks to her backside. 

"I can't hear you, Fat." He called out as he delivered deep strokes. "Say that shit louder."

With her face buried in the decor pillow, her voice came out muffled. He was sure of what she was saying but that was good enough for him. Keeping his hand on her waist the other traveled up her back to her neck and wrapped around her throat. He pulled her up, keeping the arch in her back, never slowing his stroke. 

"Say it again, Fat," he spoke softly into her ear as he squeezed her throat lightly, "And I might let you cum."

She groaned softly, meeting his thrusts as best she could. 

"Fuck, baby."

Slowing his strokes, he chuckled in her ear and held her hips steady to stop her own movements. "That's not it, baby. Try again."

"I'm sorry, Zay," she whined trying to move, "Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"That's my girl. Shit, there you go," he groaned. 

Quickening his strokes again, he reached down rubbing her clit to help push her over the edge. He spoke softly in her ear, talking her through her release. 

"After we eat, we can facetime Ms. Nadine." Zilla laughed, taking a bite of his taco.

"Isayah, I will knock that taco outta your hand," she laughed, "Stop that."

"What kind of son in law would I be if I ain't tell her how the sofa worked out for us? Enough room for both of us, enough room for you to run or try anyway. And this bitch ain't move at all and throw off my stroke. Shit, I give it a ten outta ten, Fat."

Laughing, he moved his plate when she tries to swipe it out of his hand. She pushed his shoulder playfully. 

"I really hate you, Fatu."

He laughed harder. "That ain't what you was sayin' ten minutes ago but I could be wrong. Maybe I should ask our neighbors cause I'm sure they heard you."

"Shut up talkin to me," she laughed going to grab his gift, "I shouldn't give your ass nothing since you like annoying me. But here, happy first day."

Sitting his plate on the coffee table, he took the gift from her and stole a kiss. He shook it playfully. 

"Mmm, my baby got me something," he said as he tore the paper off the box then opened it, "Damn … you ain't have to do this, Fat."

A proud smile spread across her face as she watched his face light up. Before they left Texas she got a blanket made for him with pictures of him and his family on one side and on the other pictures of him and her to give to him on his first day. 

"It's for when you're on the road and you miss us. We'll always be with you." She explained as she watched him go over each picture of him and his family, noticing he lingered on the pictures of him and his dad. "You like it, Zay?"

"Love it. I love it," he put it in his lap and pulled her into a tight hug, "I love you. Thank you, pretty girl. I appreciate this."

"You're welcome. So … can I know about your day now?" 

Chuckling, he held onto the blanket as he took her through his first day. He told her about the doctors he had to talk to, the tours and the talks he had with Hunter, Shawn and Booker.

"That sounds fun, like you had a good day, babe. Did you see your friend anymore?"

He laughed, "I just met em, he not my friend."

"But he will be, I already know. So did you see em or not?"

"You just gon make me be friends with em," he chuckled. "But nah I ain't seen em but he sent me his number on Instagram."

"Awwwe, see? Friends!"

"Anyway, you applied to any hospitals today?"

"I did. Three of them. There's one close to the performance center, I'm kinda hoping I get that one but they want at least 3 years experience."

He shrugged, "They want that but that don't mean they won't pick you. You got good references and shit. And if they don't pick you, I'll make em."

"Baby," she laughed, "You can't do that but thank you for offering."

"Of course. Don't worry about cleanin up, I got it tonight. You go get ready for bed."

She squinted, "You want something, what is it?"

He got up from the sofa, carefully placing the blanket on it then gathered their dishes. "Ion want nothin, fat head You just need to get some sleep."

"Why is that? I don't have nowhere to go tomorrow."

He leaned down to kiss her forehead then headed to their kitchen, throwing his answer over his shoulder. 

"Cause ima wake you up before I leave in the morning."

[astrabear]

Deeply amused to see Booker discourse on my dash when we've nearly reached 2024. Ah, Book. Many things can be true:

Grief and guilt are a potent and corrosive combination that can massively fuck someone up AND people are still responsible for their own actions.

Someone can make terrible choices without being an inherently rotten person AND someone doesn't have to be an inherently rotten person for the people they've hurt to choose not to be around them for a while.

Outliving one's children is unimaginably painful AND it is not actually outside the realm of everyday human existence.

People have understandable concerns about prioritizing the feelings of the (implied straight) white man over the two queer men (one of whom is a man of color) AND the main characters are Andy and Nile, this is a woman-centric story, I am begging you to stop talking about the men for five minutes.

Booker is a fictional character who was created to fill this specific role in the narrative so in a very real sense he could never have made any other choice AND people are going to vary in how much they identify with him vs with the people he hurt and that is not a function of correct or incorrect interpretation, presence or absence of empathy, etc.

The story as it exists so far in the comics and as we are likely to get it in the movies does not/will not explore Booker's betrayal and redemption with the depth and nuance that would be satisfying or necessary if he were a real person, but hey, that's kind of the whole point of fanfic!

[bumblesimagines]

Midnight Beach

Part 5

Request: Yes or No

not very pleased with this part

~~~

"Hey, you've reached Rachel (L/N). Leave a message and I'll get back to you soon."

"Hi, Mom... I-I was wondering if you had plans to come home. School's going to start up again next month and I was wondering if you'd be here for graduation. I already called Dad. He, uhm... He didn't pick up either. I don't know if you'll even listen to this but I just... I hope you at least come for a day. Just one day. You probably don't think it's a big deal, but it is to me. My counselor says I'm en route to be valedictorian, just like Dad. So, I wanted to call and ask what your plans were. Anyways, hope you're having fun. Bye." 

Setting the phone down on the kitchen island, (Y/N) bit down on his bottom lip, pressing two fingers to his forehead. He tilted his head to look at the pictures on the small table pressed against the wall. The family pictures on the table always stared holes at him when he ate. A taunting reminder his parents were never around. A reminder he'd spent his high school years alone in a big house cause his parents couldn't stand the sight of each other, let alone want to be around the child they created together. 

His phone vibrated and a shot of hope ran through his veins, but when he looked at the contact, he was only met with disappointment. Sighing softly, he answered the call and held the phone to his ear. "What's up, Rafe?"

"H-Hey, man, uh... I..."

"Rafe? What's wrong? You okay? Did Barry-"

"No, no, no... It's just... Uhm, Sarah's not going to the Bahamas with Dad anymore. T-There was an accident at the tracks and uhm... Sherriff Peterkin got hurt. It was that Pogue. That Pogue did it, yeah. John B. He, uh, he shot her."

(Y/N) stared down at the marbled island, letting the information settle in. Sherriff Peterkin? Shot by John Booker Routledge? The same guy who couldn't even beat Topper Thornton in a fight? And Sarah, fuck, Sarah had been there. "Shit, Jesus, do you need me to go over there? Is Sarah okay? Is Ward?"

"No, stay home, (Y/N). We're fine. I'll... I'll call you if I need anything but listen, Sarah isn't in the right state of mind right now. If she calls or says anything... Don't trust her. She, uh... She's been saying, uhm... strange things. Dad says it's the shock talking, alright? If she says anything to you, tell me, 'kay? I'll see you tomorrow. I gotta go."

"Rafe-" The phone beeped signaling Rafe had hung up. (Y/N) pulled his phone from his ear and held it, looking down at his confused reflection on the black screen. It'd only been that morning Rafe had told him all about John B attacking Ward and Ward deciding to take Sarah to the Bahamas for her own safety. What a hell of a day for the Cameron family.

Sliding off the barstool, (Y/N) shut the kitchen lights off, plunging the house into darkness. He made his way up the stairs and into his room, plugging his phone into the charger and collapsing into bed. He stared up at the ceiling, fingers toying with the waistband of his sweats. His head turned to the side, gazing at his phone in. He thought about texting Sarah, asking her if she were okay. But Rafe's words kept him still. She needed space, he decided. She needed to process things. He'd go by their place in the morning.

Sleep didn't come easy to him, with everything going on how could it? But he'd found it after laying in bed for two hours. The morning shone brightly through his thin curtains, gently pulling him out of his sleep and encouraging him to start his day. He did his typical morning routine before heading downstairs to grab some crackers and head out. He drove down to the Cameron Residence, listening to the radio talk about the warrant out for John B and the 25k price reward for bringing him in. He shoved another cracker in his mouth and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, pulling into the driveway and parking. Dusting his shirt off, he climbed out and walked toward the front doors, tapping the glass lightly with his knuckles.

Ward appeared moments later, greeting him with a tired smile. "Hey, son. Now's not really a good time."

"I wanted to check on Rafe and Sarah is all. The radio's talking about what happened to Sherriff Peterkin." (Y/N) explained softly. Ward sighed, running a hand over his face and shaking his head.

"Horrible... It was horrible. Sarah saw it happen. She's real shaken up right now, (Y/N). She's not in the headspace to be getting visitors. I know you care a lot about her but just... Now's not the right time. I'm sure when she's feeling better, she'll give you a call." Ward told him, a small thankful yet apologetic smile on his lips. He placed a warm hand on his shoulder and lightly squeezed it. "Thank you. I'll let her know you came by. And as for Rafe-" 

"I've got it handled, Dad." Ward's grip tightened briefly and he inhaled deeply, releasing (Y/N) and turning around to face his son. 

"Are you sure-"

"Yes, Dad, I'm sure." Rafe brushed past Ward with a backpack slung over his shoulder. He appeared awfully calm about everything. Rafe slithered his arm around (Y/N), turning him around and walking back toward his jeep.

"What's in the backpack?"

"John B's things. I'm gonna dump 'em somewhere or burn 'em. I haven't decided yet." Rafe responded casually, opening the door to the jeep and getting inside. Ward watched them from his stop in the doorway, hands resting on his hips and a worried frown on his face. (Y/N) sat inside and eyed the green backpack.

"You could always donate them."

"Who's going to take a murderer's clothes?" Rafe laughed, propping his leg up against the door and turning on the radio. (Y/N) stared at him, slowly turning the key to the ignition and stepping on the gas pedal. His father and sister had witnessed a murder and he looked... gleeful. Satisfied, even. Rafe reached forward and turned on the radio, fiddling with it until he got to a station he liked and hummed along to the song playing. (Y/N) silently drove through and out of the neighborhood, glancing at the cop cars that would occasionally speed by with their sirens blaring. He drove into town, finding a place they could donate the clothes to.

"Come on, Rafe."

"Seriously? Dude, nobody wants these." Rafe groaned, tossing the door open and getting out of the car. (Y/N) stepped out and ensured the car locked before stepping onto the sidewalk and nodding for Rafe to head inside. The blonde rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, heading inside the store. (Y/N) went to follow but a paper stabled to a wooden electric pole caught his eye and he walked toward it. A wanted poster for John B. 

"Jesus.." (Y/N) whispered, tugging the paper from the pole and staring down at it. Sherriff Peterkin was truly dead. Killed by a teenager she'd spent months trying to keep afloat. A heaviness loomed over his shoulders. The few times they'd interacted she'd been kind and motherly. The sound of more sirens blaring pulled his gaze away from the paper, watching three cop cars race down the street. Rafe stepped out of the shop with the empty backpack, brows furrowing at the sight of the cop cars. He spotted someone running down the sidewalk and caught their arm.

"The hell's goin' on?"

"They found him! They found John B but he ran off before they could arrest him. They're lookin' for him now." The girl explained, tugging her arm free and continuing running down the sidewalk, presumably following the sirens. Rafe turned to look at (Y/N) and nodded toward his car. (Y/N) sighed and crumbled up the paper in his hand, tossing it into the trash can and unlocking his car. He got inside and turned it back on, stepping on the pedal and following the cop cars. 

"Should we really be doing this, Rafe?"

"Look, (Y/N), he's a murderer. What if he comes after my family next? What if he comes after Sarah? We need to find him now." Rafe said, hooking his fingers around the assist handle and straightening up. (Y/N) cursed softly, pressing down on the gas. The cop cars led them into a neighborhood littered with more cops. They searched backyards and spoke to residents, frantically writing things down on notepads and calling out to each other. Rafe pressed himself against the door, scanning the area. 

"Doesn't Kelce live around here?"

"Yeah, he does," Rafe answered quietly, whirling around when officers got into their cars and drove down the street. Rafe only had to give (Y/N) a look for him to catch the hint and speed off after them. The cops drove up the driveway of a house and got out, forcing (Y/N) to park in the street. Craning his neck, he spotted Kelce speaking to two officers while another instructed the rest. One final cop pulled up and out got Shoupe. He approached Kelce and the other officers as neighbors crawled up and down the street hoping to catch a glimpse of John B's arrest.

Rafe hopped out of the car, slamming the door shut and walking up to the house. (Y/N) groaned, tossing off his seatbelt and following Rafe. Other cops lingered by the cars, stopping anyone from getting too close. Shoupe called out to John B using the megaphone and began heading up toward the house. "Remember the fallen, Sheriff!" Rafe called out, getting shouts of agreement from others and calls for John B's blood to be spilled. Shoupe entered the house, followed by two other cops. (Y/N) watched the front door, waiting for Shoupe and John B to make an appearance or the sound of gunshots but instead Shoupe ran back out.

"He ran out the back! I want three deputies to hit the backyard now! He can't be far." Shoupe called out. "The suspect is unarmed!"

"We'll get him for you, Sheriff!" 

"The hell you doin', Rafe?" (Y/N) grabbed his arm, tugging his friend closer and furrowing his brows. Rafe leaned in with an almost crazed look in his vibrant blue eyes.

"I'm protectin' my family, (Y/N). Protectin' the homeland." Rafe answered lowly, lifting his head and continuing to egg on the crowd by encouraging them to go looking for John B. He pulled his arm free from (Y/N)'s hold and lightly patted his cheek before leading a small group of people down the sidewalk. (Y/N) pressed his lips together and followed the group, feeling a mixture of emotions bubbling in his stomach.

Rafe called out instructions, leading some people off the sidewalk but they stopped abruptly when a church bell rang out. The sound attracted everyone and Rafe and Kelce quickly took off in the direction of it, prompting (Y/N) to do the same. (Y/N) paused and looked up at the old abandoned church, spotting Rafe and Kelce slipping inside. Cars pulled up and cops rushed out, one of them grabbing (Y/N) and pulling him back when the church suddenly began to smoke. Rafe and Kelce ran out of it and went back into the crowd, turning around to watch the fire spread through the church. The doors of the church pulled open and someone stepped out in a faded red hoodie. The cops whipped out their guns and pointed it at the man, shouting orders for him. Shoupe ripped the hoodie off him, only for everyone to see Topper's face. One of the cops put handcuffs on him and dragged him to the car, shoving him inside. 

"Come on-"

"I'm going home, Rafe. I didn't sign up for a goddamn manhunt. You wanna go find him? Fine. I'm not in the mood to watch some guy get shot down or beaten by an angry crowd."

"You serious?! This isn't the time to play the good guy, (Y/N). There's a murderer on the loose, don't you get that?" Rafe hissed, snatching (Y/N) by the arms and squeezing him tight enough his skin began to sting. 

"He's sixteen, Rafe. And this is a small island." (Y/N) reminded him, wincing when Rafe's grip tightened further. The blonde stared at him and clicked his tongue, relaxing his hold and rubbing his reddening skin. 

"Fine, go home," Rafe grunted, hand grasping the base of (Y/N)'s neck and pulling him into his chest, cheek nuzzling gently against his hair. "We'll talk later." 

"Yeah, alright." (Y/N) breathed, tearing himself away from Rafe and bringing a hand to his warm forearm. He walked through the grass until he reached the sidewalk again, heading down the street and finding his car. He got in and slumped back against the seat, peering down at his arms and barely making out the red outline of Rafe's thumb. Sighing, (Y/N) turned the car on and drove home.

                    ✽        ✽       ✽       ✽       ✽       ✽

"Thank you." (Y/N) murmured, taking the Pepsi bottle and bag of chips into his hands. He pushed the door of the convenience store and walked out, tucking the bottle under his armpit and opening the bag. Sticking his hand inside and walking toward his car, he fished out the potato chip and popped it in his mouth. 

"Are you (Y/N) (L/N)?" (Y/N) looked over his shoulder, feet coming to a stop when he noticed the two officers watching him expectantly. He glanced between them and nodded, shifting to face them completely. 

"Yeah..." He slowly chewed on the chip.

"I'm Officer Goff and this is Officer Levy. We have some questions regarding your ex-girlfriend, Sarah Cameron. Her father reported her missing this morning and since she's connected to Routledge, we'd like for you to come with us. Any information is valuable at this time." Officer Goff explained, nodding toward the cop car parked across the street. This month truly couldn't get any worse.

"What about my car?"

"You can give Officer Levy the keys and he'll-"

"Hell no." The officers raised their brows at him and he swallowed, muttering an apology under his breath. "It's just... It's the only gift my dad's ever given me. I don't let anyone drive it." His words made Officer Levy's hard features soften considerably and he turned to look at his partner. Officer Goff grunted softly and nodded, waving him off. (Y/N) turned and continued to his car, getting inside and muttering quietly under his breath as he set the bottle down in the cup holder. Turning on the car, he waited for the officers to drive out first before following behind them.

They took him to the lighthouse overlooking the ocean ahead where tents at been set up at its base. (Y/N) got out of his car, finishing the rest of the chips and tossing the crumbled bag away. He glanced around at the reporters and officers walking around, some in local uniforms while others in black uniforms with the letters SBI written on them. Shoupe approached him, nodding to the two officers and giving him a small smile.

"Sorry for all this, (Y/N). We have a procedure and we just need to be thorough." He told him, taking out his notepad and clicking his pen. "Could you confirm your relationship with Sarah Cameron?"

"Okay, uh, she's my ex-girlfriend. I last saw her like three or four days ago with John B and haven't seen her since. No, I don't know John B closely. We've only ever really spoken in passing. Is that it? Can I go now?" Shoupe paused his writing and lifted his eyes, studying (Y/N)'s face and tilting his head with a small frown. 

"Sarah was here some time ago, (Y/N). She came in and tried to blame this all on Rafe Cameron, her own brother and your buddy. We can't have her going around lying to residents and confusing people. We need to find her before she gets herself or somebody else hurt, alright? I know this is all new and bizarre but we need cooperation. Do you have any idea where she could be?" 

"She said Rafe did it?" (Y/N) asked quietly, the bizarre behavior of his friend replaying in his mind like a broken record. The grins and laughter, the worried look on Ward's face, the fact he wasn't allowed to even see her.

"Her father says she's unwell at the moment and John B manipulated her to believe something else. I'm sure with time, she'll come to accept the truth, alright?" Shoupe closed his notepad and tucked it away, lifting his hand to pat his forearm and nodding to someone behind him. (Y/N) looked over his shoulder, spotting Ward approaching him with a small smile.

"It's good seeing you here, son. I'd appreciate it if you stuck around in case Sarah reaches out to you." Ward told him, reaching out to place his hands on (Y/N)'s shoulders. 

"Why does Sarah think Rafe had something to do with this?" (Y/N) peered up at the older man, hearing the distant sound of thunder roaring. Ward stared down at him with parted lips, a mixture of emotions passing over his face. Shock, hurt, guilt, and finally reassurance. His hands kept him in place, tightening ever so slightly when (Y/N) tried to step back.

"Sarah's being manipulated by a very dangerous person, (Y/N). She's still in shock and she's having a hard time processing that the boy she cares about did something so horrific. John B's twisted her mind and made her believe Rafe had something to do with it. But you know him. Rafe can be quick to anger but he'd never hurt anybody, right? He's a good boy. He just needs some guidance, that's all. He needs you. You can help set him straight. You can help Sarah too once she feels better, alright? But right now, you should stay here. For Sarah. For me. Can you do that for me, son?" Ward tilted his head, lightly squeezing him and smiling. (Y/N) swallowed and nodded, the smile on Ward's face widening. "You're a good kid, (Y/N). I see you as my own. I know you won't disappoint me."

"I won't." (Y/N) assured him softly. "I promise."

"Good." Ward's face brightened and he released him. "Go on, take a seat. I'll get some water for you while we wait." 

(Y/N) wrapped his arms around himself and found a seat near one of the tents. Inside, detectives and officers typed away on their laptops, talking over each other and shuffling around notebooks and pieces of paper. Shoupe called for another officer and stepped out of the tent, heading to one of the SUVs and driving off with the sirens blaring. (Y/N) leaned back in his seat and looked forward, spotting the gray clouds slowly drifting closer and closer. Cracks of lightning lit them up occasionally with the wind beginning to pick up significantly. His stomach twisted and turned, leg bouncing lightly as he watched the storm grow closer and closer. 

After half an hour, some officers abruptly took off, shouting orders and locations as the sky darkened and night fell. (Y/N) could hear Ward angrily speaking to an agent, shouting about his daughter and her wellbeing. (Y/N) bit the inside of his cheek and gazed toward the parking lot, hand pressing against his pocket where his keys sat. He wanted to move. He wanted to leave. Leave the tent, leave the town, leave the island completely. His eyes flickered toward the officers pulling back up, dragging three familiar faces out. Kiara, Pope, and JJ. Shoupe escorted the three into the tent, sitting down near (Y/N). 

"What are you doing here?" JJ asked, leaning forward in his seat and glancing at the officer tasked with keeping an eye on them. 

"They were asking about Sarah. You?" (Y/N) quirked a brow but the three exchanged glances, falling silent and looking away from him. (Y/N) hummed softly, crossing his arms over his chest and going back to watching the officers work. The sound of a generator whirling to life reached his ears, and the lighthouse above them flickered on. The moment it did, officers began shouting outside and orders were called out. Leaning over and looking through the flapping of the tent, he spotted a white boat on the water, heading directly for the storm as rain poured over the tent. 

"What the hell's goin' on?" JJ tried getting to his feet, only to get shoved back down into his seat by the officer. The Pogues began frantically speaking, ranging from protests to pleas for information. (Y/N) only sunk deeper into his chair, leaning his head and staring upward. After a few minutes, Shoupe entered the tent and pulled off the hood to his raincoat, a grimace on his face when the Pogues jumped to their feet and approached him.

"Did you find them?"

"No," Shoupe answered, eyes falling down onto the ground. Kiara swallowed, glancing between JJ and Pope, a twinkle of hope in her eye.

"They got away?" She asked softly.

"We, uh... we lost them. I'm sorry."

"You lost them?" Pope repeated, stepping forward, panic seeping into his voice. "Wha- What do you mean you lost them? Like, they're gone? What are you talking about? Are they dead?" 

Shoupe's frown deepened, shoulders lowering with grief. "We don't know." He answered honestly. (Y/N) squeezed his eyes shut, hearing JJ and Pope's angered shouts and Kiara's desperate cries. He opened his eyes and stood up on his feet, his eyes begin to fill with fresh tears. The parents of the teens rushed into the tent, embracing their children and letting them cry on their shoulders. (Y/N) watched Pope's father embrace his son and wife, even pulling JJ into the hug and comforting him. (Y/N) turned away, leaving the tent and stepping through the mushy, wet grass in search of his car.

Sarah Cameron and John Booker Routledge were... dead.

[thatcanadianfangirl]

JJ Maybank// Healing Takes Time Pt.2

JJ Maybank X Jade (Booker) Routledge

Plot: When Jade is all alone at the chateau falling asleep on the hottest night of the year she hears a loud noise that makes her skin crawl. She discovers JJ on the sofa after what seems like a run-in with the kooks again. With some reluctance he allows his best friend's Twin to patch him up. Falling apart in her clutch that night she discovers that the clash he experienced earlier was something deeper than just some lousy rich boy. He returns to her every time it occurs, he never talks and always leaves before Jade stirs away. That is until one day he does.

Word Count: 4.7k+

Disclaimer: Brother's bestfriend, slow burn, talks of domestic abuse, and mentions of underage drinking. minor writing errors even though this is edited.

{Part One}

----

The excruciating heat from the summer sun had made sleep too uncomfortable to keep. Sweat began to latch onto every inch of my body like a second skin. I felt drowsy as my mind began pulling to the front again.

The empty space beside me still radiated warmth from the boy who occupied it last night. A strange feeling of lost overwhelmed me at the knowledge of JJ escaping while I was unconscious. But there also was a foreign and very pleasant emotion starting to plant its-self.

What the fuck is happening to me?

With a cat nap stretch I grasps the most ancient iPhone I've laid eyes on, but it was $500 dollars cheaper than a brand new one, I shouldn't be complaining. Three hours before my shift at the Pelican Yacht Club and another hour ahead of my alarm. Unfortunately there's no chance of me passing out again with the temperatures so high today.

With a heavy heart I scoured the house just incase JJ decided to relocate himself. Every room was completely vacant and there was no sign of life anywhere. John B still appeared to on hiatus and the concern began fluttering. That kid better have the decency to send me a text soon.

After a hot shower I still felt mentally exhausted from the night I had with JJ. It shattered my heart to see him that vulnerable, that broken. I want that prick to drown himself six-hundred feet under the sea. Jay wasn't anything close to perfect but he definitely didn't deserve to be beaten by the one person who was suppose to protect him.

I hoped that blonde boy didn't escape back home to that sorry excuse of a man he was forced to call dad. My throat tightened and it was hard to contain the burning tears.

I took my time preparing myself. I wasn't a fan of your every day kook but with the pay my promotion brought just about made up for it.

Capturing my Jeep keys, I made my way out of the Chateau and through the porch. The yard was Pogue-less and the Twinkie was not in her original spot. Where the hell was my brother? Although my day would go a lot more seamless if I knew where he was. I'm still passive-aggressive towards him for leaving me in that damned place alone.

With the spare time and extra cash I had I was able to grab a bite to eat and hit up the gas station. I really needed to get mobile minutes and fill up the Jeep for the rest of the week.

----

I was relived to be sitting at the reception desk in the cool air conditioned building. Watching a few others from the cut maintaining and fuel up various boats out on the docks. A job I had last year and frankly didn't miss for a single second. Taking this job serious was the best decision I've made in my entire life.

Through the glass door I could see a familiar SUV pulling up front. I spotted Kiara, another friend of my twin brother. She rounded the rear and started for the front doors. I consider Kie a friend of mine as well, she often pulled me along with them. Always mentioning how nice it was to have another girl around to balance out that intoxication masculine energy.

"Good evening, Miss Carrera. Is there anything I help you with today?" I announced in my service voice once she walked through the doors. She flashed me a mischievous grin and I swore I could giggle at the sight.

Kiara wore a vibrant and suitable outfit for the hot weather. She always had such a fun style making me yearn for a body I didn't have. I loved my curves but the hope for Kiara donating to my empty closet was almost comparable. It was hard to find cute discounted or thrifted clothing in my size.

"Yes, Miss Routledge I need the Carrera's Princess y72 fueled and prepped for an evening trip to the mainland." She held an elegant tone and straighten her posture as she addressed me.

I forced a laugh down and continued to play along with our ruse. "Not a problem, It'll be ready for 3:00pm. How does that sound?"

"That simply will not do." She shook her head and both of her front braids followed. "Did you not hear me? I said evening trip." I almost chocked sensing how much she struggled to keep the kook behavior.

"My apologies Miss Carrera. How does 5:00pm sound instead." I offered,

"Yes, why couldn't you just get it right the first time?" she pawed the air in displeasure.

It took two seconds before we fell into a fit of laughter so hard it began to hurt. Her dark skin starting to turn pink as she gasped for air and it only made me laugh harder.

The clearing of ones voice had me swallowing down the ounce of happiness I had today. Fear washed over me as I spotted my boss Pike, standing a few feet away. Arms crossed over his lean chest as he analyzed the scene before him.

"Sorry, sir." I croaked.

He approached the reception desk and leaned his body weight against it. With firm green eyes he stared me down. At the tense anticipation I prepared myself for a scolding. A small one, but a scolding nonetheless.

Glancing at Kiara I could have sworn her eyes almost rolled out of their sockets. I opened my mouth to investigate my punishment but nothing came out.

"Loosen up kid." He breaks into humorous smile. "You dedicated so much to this company and as long as you're doing your job I don't care who comes to visit you during your shift." He shrugs nonchalantly.

The sword above my head vanished into thin air and my lungs began filling back up with oxygen again. "You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that. I was worried you were fed up with me." I say with a smile of appreciation.

"I could never be, just keep up the good work." He replies with a wink and a too friendly smile as he began retreating.

"As always." I speak over my shoulder watching his tall frame disappear behind the pristine blue wall. My presentable mannerism fleeting my being once my attention clung onto Kiara again.

"Now what were you going to ask me before you almost got me fired." I sassed and gave her a lighthearted glare.

She scoffs dramatically and says "If anything I pushed you closer to the manager position. Pike really seems to be impressed with your work ethic." Kiara's face softened and I couldn't help the proud smile spreading onto my lips at the adoration swirling in her brown eyes.

"Maybe," I shrug. "But it's a tinsey bit fetched considering I'm part-time for ten months out of the year." I say knowing this might be it for me.

"You'll get there, I promise." She says it like she too understood the hardships of living on the cut. As if she had to take bread from the clearance shelf and store it in the freezer. Or fill five dollar condition half way when it was a quarter way empty.

I could taste the bitterness trying to over take this tender moment I was sharing with Kie. I despised myself for every comparing my life against hers. Sure it was unfortunate I born into poverty, but it wasn't her fault she had all these advantages in life.

"I'll hold you to it." I tease lassoing back that buoyant atmosphere we held minutes ago.

"Good." She nods. Her heart is too big for this world.

"Now when do you get off work?" She asks innocently twirling one of her braids with her finger, "I think Seven, why? What do you have planned for tonight?" I asked cautiously. Last time she asked me this I got alcohol poisoning from a 'little' kegger as she put it. Those few days I've spent in the hospital wasn't exactly my idea of a good time.

"Don't worry it's nothing too crazy. We're going surfing tonight and I wanted you to come. I know you cant resist a good wave or two. Plus you can show us some of those tricks we can never get down."

My eyes caught movement through the glass doors again. Leaning against Kie's vehicle was none other than JJ himself. My breathe caught in my throat at seeing him for the first time since last night. He was wearing John's clothes telling me he hasn't gone home yet. His blonde hair was no longer matted in sweat and was now looking perfect again.

His eye looked swollen and I cursed that boy for not fetching something from the ice box. His sewn eyebrow was starting to purple. Despite his face, I found the guy so unbelievably attractive.

Kiara noticed my glance was lingering a little too long past her shoulder and trailed my gaze.

Shit!

She's about to discover that her best friend is the only one in a mile radius and blow the entire thing out of the water.

"Was that sew up job yours?"

"No, I haven't seen JJ since last week." I lied and instantly regretted it, Kiara knew I say him two days ago in my backyard. Circling the fire, roasting marshmallows and having a few light drinks.

A knowing glint sparkled in her eyes and she nodded her head. "Right." She finally says dragging the word on for decades. I shook my head in agreement but feeling guilty that I knew she knew I was lying through my damn teeth.

I had no clue why I was trying to keep the patch up job I did on JJ's face under wraps. I've done it a million times and none of them thought it was scandalous before, I've never shoved it under a rock before either. I didn't plan on hiding it, but I wanted to keep that vulnerable moment to myself. I'm not confident on who was aware of his fathers abuse and I wasn't going to crumble the sliver of trust he has with me.

"So whose all going to be there?" I asked reminding myself to wash my sins away later.

"The usually, John B, Pope, Sarah, me and...Jayj." She left Jay's name for last and I fucking knew it was trap, but I still looked past her and at the golden boy again. This will be at the top of the stupidest shit I've done and it's a long list. It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand he was avoiding eye contact with me. Understandable and yet it still pinched.

'I'll be ready by 7:30." I said not really having the energy for it, but I needed to get rid of her before she had the chance to question my odd behavior towards him.

Kie was quiet for a minute reading into my soul. "Okay. Not a minute later." Kiara finally declares starting to walk backwards, towards the automatic doors. The knowing glint that I was holding something back was still evident in her eyes.

I smile in agreement trying desperately to lock down the wariness that wanted to combust.

"I'll see you tonight, Surf Queen."

----

I'm completely wiped as I pull my green 1995 jeep Cherokee right beside the Twinkie. Cutting the engine I guided the stick shift into first gear and yanked the hand brake all the way up securing its parking spot.

Jumping out I winched as my feet hit the ground and the aching in my bones rattled up. The sight of my brother finally home had me forgetting all about the rage I was holding for him. He was surrounded by his friends, sharing the cheapest case of liquor Maybank could get his hands on and having the best time. My heart glowed at his found family. I

I stayed there awhile watching them before I announced my arrival. I admired the way they all could get lost in one another's company and not hear the loud engine of my jeep approaching.

I'm so drained from my shift, But I already promised Kie I'd tag along. I wasn't prepared to struck a crack into another friendship. The more time I spent with Kie the more I seen her as a real friend. And as much as I hated it, it was time to slip that mask on again.

"Holy shit Is that my twin brother as I live and breathe." I spoke loudly capturing everyone's attention. Almost all of them cheered for my appearance and it nearly felt like I was one of them.

If I wasn't the glorious JB's twin sister I wouldn't try so hard to distance myself. I'm my own person and I wanted to make it clear I was separate from my brother. I'm nothing like him or our father dropping everything to search for long forgotten treasure. It's extremely hard being a twin but it was absolutely brutal being a Routledge twin. Especially for one who didn't have her own circle of friend and trying to hijack one of his. Maybe I needed an animal companion or a boyfriend, probably both.

"Jade! I was wondering when you'd get your little butt down here." Pope hollers over with a giant welcoming grin. "I missed you too, Pope." I chuckled at his enthusiasm and returned a warm smile that didn't take up too much energy.

Pope is definitely someone you could hangout with after a long day of work and talk about the mysteries of the universe. He was loyal like the rest of them were and is always the one to knock sense into anyone who needed it.

Forcing my body onto the porch I engulfed John into a bone crushing embrace. He returned it and I clung on tighter to him. Being in his grasp felt like a warm bed and a home cooked meal. Coos and awes could be heard from the Pogues behind us murmuring something about sibling love.

"Please don't ever leave me in this house alone ever again. If you do I will sink a knife in all four tires on the Twinkie." I croaked into his chest.

Letting go me he grabbed each of my shoulders, "Did something happen last night?" He bursts out frantically, concern etched into his facial features.

on instinct my eyes drifted from his and focused on the blonde boy. It was only for a split second but JB caught it and looked back. I could skin myself alive if that were ever possible. Jay still refused to look at me and shrugged at what I assumed is an accusatory glare. His posture was lose as if he wasn't sporting my stitches on his eyebrow.

"I left the front door open." I started distracting him from his locked gaze, "A deer must've wandered in. It spooked me pretty bad." I said the first tale that floated into my brain.

"were you harmed?" John follows even the doubt swam in his eyes.

"No I-I managed to scare it out of the house." I stuttered,

"Well that explains why my floorboard was popped and the bat left in the hallway." JB notes humorously and that's when it dawned on me that I forgot about the damned bat.

How could I forgot? Oh right! There was a certain broken blonde boy crying in my arms last night.

"Yeah." I say guilty and nod my head weakly.

"I'm just glad you're okay." He says, petting my hair comfortably and I fought the urge to ask him why he cared, he's never here and I needed him in the long moments I thought someone broke in. But this wasn't the time to bring up how he's been a shitty brother lately. I wanted to savour this memory with him where he finally bothered care about me and I believed him.

"Let me get this straight." Pope says breaking the heartfelt aura. "Last night. You almost bashed a deer's brains in?" He finishes with a serious tone. It was so absurd that I struggled to keep a composed face.

"That's such a Routledge thing to do." Sarah comments, It almost caused me to shut down and call it day. I never confided in her about the twin conversation so I shouldn't be reacting to her comment the way I was.

"It's a very Jade thing to do in a dire situation." Kiara makes an effort to over shine her comment. She understood just how much I battled to accept that me and John were so much a like in too many ways to deny.

I gave her a grateful smile, thankful for her words. She tipped her head in acknowledgment "I'll be out in ten. I still need to grab my board from the shed." I mumbled heading into the house.

"Of course, take your time." Kiara replies gently,

"Me and JJ, are going to pack your board onto the Jeep for you." JB calls before I hear him barrel off the steps and almost trip and fumble to the ground. John is a good brother don't get me wrong but I missed him being around all the time.

I understood his determination to pick up dad's treasure map where he left off, it has been weeks since his disappearance. I miss the old guy like I lost every too, but I didn't ignore our situation to chase after a ghost ship. I'm the only one keeping us above water and I needed him to realize how much I craved for him to be my brother again. He's the only family I have left.

------------

Three vehicles and six boards later we arrived at the beach. Kiara and JJ in her SUV, me and Pope in my Jeep, the Greenie, and lastly Sarah and John in the Twinkie.

Strangely enough the beach was so scare we could all park together near the sand. It's hitting the golden hour an absolute stunning even to catch a few wave, so gorgeous that it wounded my soul to see it deserted

I knew pope was giving me an odd look as the others started uphauling their boards while I stayed in my seat. I admired the view I was able to experience in this point in time, absolutely breath taking. Ever since the day I rode my very first wave with the help of a certain golden retriever boy. I could hear the ocean wailing for me like a lost soulmate in the wind.

It has been a long time my first love.

"There everyone goes, leaving us behind..." Pope trails longingly,

I roll my eyes and shake my head at his dramatics. "All of you are always go go go, or too wrapped up in each other to just stop, and really enjoy the scenery around you that this earth has given us."

Being here with them gave me a knew found sense of home, like I wasn't just here living this life alone. I think it's time I let these pogues wiggle their way into being there for me. It'll take some time for me to allow them and get more comfortable with being in their presence more. But I'm willing to try for myself, for John, for the Pogues.

Pope is quiet weighing in my spoken thoughts, "You're right I really need to appreciate it a lot more, but right now isn't the time. It seems we're holding everyone up."

I whipped my head fast enough for it to strain and begin to throb in pain. A few feet away I spotted Kie with her board tucked under her one arm and resting against her hip. An expecting look displayed onto her soft features, behind her Sarah and John were beckoning me forward.

JJ was already at the shore line, the high tides crashing into his ankles. He stuck his gaze to the front of the Greenie. Wearing John's bright red shirt that had a white lobster on the chest confirming my suspicion of further injury. Jay was comfortable with his muscular build and it was unusual to find him sporting a shirt while surfing. He must be hiding from the others as well knowing they'd raise havoc at the new found information.

was I bad person for wanting him to really see me? look at me and acknowledge the night we shared? I knew the pain he faced and the time he needed to numb his trauma over. Maybe when he looked at me he was reliving it all again in a rush of conflicted emotion.

One look was all I craved. Just a tiny glance into those storming blue eyes.

"Are you ready?" Pope asks, gentle hopefulness danced in his dark brown eyes. It dawned on me then like a bucket of ice. They had thought I was going to leave like I've done a few times before. This time was different because I truly wanted to be here with them.

"Yeah, I'm ready, Pope." I say grateful for his patience,

Unclasping our boards, Pope jogged alongside me catching up with the rest of them. Soon he fell into step with John B, both of them rush towards their blonde counter part. Kiara and Sarah flanked me and it almost felt like they knew everything that happened last night. Waiting for me to spill but there was not a single thing to share. Nothing happened and I seemed to be reading into it too much.

"Are you okay? You seemed to be hesitating?" Kie asks as we reached the ocean kneeling onto our boards and paddling out. Entering the water gave me this soft security and had woken my sleeping muscles.

"Yeah." I said contently, "I was admiring how beautiful the ocean appeared in the golden hour."

"I love how you can just get lost in the nature around you. Finding the beauty in smallest of things," Sarah notes,

I shrug, " I was taught to appreciate what I was given." It wasn't a jab at their pedigree. It was more of we're different and that's not a terrible thing. They both hum understanding my words weren't malicious.

I felt complete in this moment, smiling at the both of them I could feel my mask breaking into pieces letting my true thoughts be known. It was a radiating feeling.

Looking behind me, the shore in the distance. I could sense we were at the perfect location to catch a few good waves. The others did too and halted their paddling and sat up onto their boards.

All six us stared at the wall of waves building and crashing just a few yards away. Rocking our boards once it rode out and reached past us.

"I love your bikini." Kie says, I look down at the old fading teal bikini. I got it at a thrift store two years ago and a few sizes too small. "You say that every time and you know damn well this is the only one I got." I say playfully and Kiara smiles giving me a wink.

Sarah shrugs, "Kie's right its so cute, but we should all go shopping for new ones. Like a girls day, god know we need it." She says poking her glance past us and we follow her gaze to see the boys barking at each other in deep tones and hyping themselves up.

We burst out laughing at how ridiculous they were being. Snapping their heads towards our laughter they glare teasingly, "What?!" They shout in unison, "What are you guys doing?" Kiara askes, "It looks very intimate." Sarah calls after.

It warmed my heart to JJ enjoying himself considering what he's been through in the last twenty-four hours. It nicked to know he could never be like that with me ever again.

"Our masculine chant." JB states,

"We need to level out the feminine vibe." Jay retorts aiming his words at me. I was stunned to say the least. It bent my heart and I swore that was the last time I ever helped him. it must've been written on my face because John reaches over and smacks him upside the head.

I coughed to over my laugh, but I couldn't help but feel like a fucking out cast again. Maybe letting them in wasn't the best idea.

"I didn't know your masculinity was so fragile, Jay." I spat,

"It's not!" He shot back desperately

"I'm catching the first wave." I blankly said, paddling for the wave. Behind me I could hear John giving JJ shit for treating me like some Kook whose fucking with his feelings.

My body took control catching the wave like I've done many times before. Everything with JJ and John forgotten like none of it happened and I was completely content with that. The adrenaline raced into my blood as I rode the wave with such perfect ease.

After padding back to my spot beside Kiara and Sarah, JJ went next. It was easy to detect that our surfing styles were similar. I would've loved that I replicated his style to the tee a year ago, but now it made me sick to my stomach.

"I've never noticed how you and JJ have the same style." Sarah comments and Kiara's attention snapped to me, I shrugged "JJ Taught me how to surf."

Sarah gave an amused look, "Really? I would've thought John B did." Kie laughs and I shook my head, "Nope." I popped the 'p' "The jackass was too busy laughing at me while I drowned."

"I was not!" John B yelled over catching our conversation,

"Keep telling yourself that buddy." Kie calls returning her attention back to our triangle. Pope snickers and John B squints his eyes at him," I would've taught her but Jayj was the better teacher."

"beside if John did teach me, I wouldn't be able to land a few of my tricks." I shrug,

"What happened between the two of you?' Sarah asks the one question I was dreading, But her eyes were hopeful and I truly wanted to be close friends with her.

"I'm wondering the same thing. We use to be good friends when we were younger, then one day he pulled away. Stopped hanging out with me and never shared anything with me. It was very cold turkey and so fucking strange."

"I'm sorry, that must've been confusing." She replies and I brush it off.

"Nothing I can do now." I say flatly. Noticing Kiara has been quiet I trailed my glace to her, a weak smile spread across her face and I could've sworn I saw guilt swirling in her brown eyes. She must know something that I didn't and I had the urge to dig deeper.

We stayed there for two more hours, surfing and showing off our technique. The sun was ready to disappear over the horizon and god was it gorgeous but it was time to bring it in.

Dragging our bodies near the shore I walked between the girls again. after a successful day session on the waves I felt emotionally and mentally full and healthy. It was as if the ocean had the ability to revive me.

"Are both of you still down to go bikini shopping?" Sarah askes,

"Yeah absolutely, Jade what about you?" Kie replies looking at me expectantly.

"Operation feminine energy is a go!" I shout to the rising moon. Both of them celebrate like they won a marathon, I join them and somehow feel like I'm apart of something outside of being a Routledge twin.

Ahead of us the boys give us weird looks and I couldn't careless, but the lingering glance from JJ had me conflicted. In his storm blue eyes I saw a flicker of regret and I found it hard to breathe.

I held a façade for Kiara and Sarah, but I felt utterly lost when it came to that boy. Carrying our boards back to the vehicles I tried to focus on our new found girl squad.

--

Pat two took so long because I changed quite a bit from the original piece and added over 1k words. I definitely restrained myself from writing more JJ it's just not time for them yet.

Part two took so long because I wanted to write more JJ, but it's not for it yet.

This is very slow burn and I truly wanted to write about what living on the cut was really like.

Thank you so much for reading It means the worlds you decided to read something I wrote. I love you.

[bookerdewittsstuff]

Booker missed you…a lot.

more modern day booker.

CW: Booker being aggressive (in a good way), sub! reader, very dom! booker, afab reader, barely any aftercare, unprotected sex, rough sex, slight degradation, slight praise, pet names, creampie, cussing, fwb relationship. think that’s it, MDNI! PLEASE!!!!!!

»»————-　★　————-««

It felt like weeks since he’d last seen you, even though it had only been just a few days. he was off doing God knows what, leaving you behind wondering where he went. you knew that since you weren’t in an official relationship, you weren’t really entitled to know his whereabouts, but that doesn’t mean you can’t worry your heart out. the two of you had an interesting relationship, no labels but he’d spend the whole night with you in your bed and then leave in the early hours of the morning. when he was stressed, you’d let him use you in any way he wanted to, and then he wouldn’t talk to you for a few days, with the cycle repeating itself very often. technically, this would be a friends with benefits kind of relationship, but neither of you talked about it.

Tonight, you’d been doing chores around your little apartment. you had just gotten home from work a few hours prior, being forced to work overtime at the local emergency clinic. funny enough, that was where you met booker. he’d stumbled in after a bar fight gone really wrong. with your hands in the soap filled sink, you jumped a bit with a gasp when you heard the front door slam shut, heavy footsteps following the startling noise until you saw the dark outline of the man you had just been thinking about.

“booker? what on earth are you doing here?” you questioned, turning your body slightly to face him with your hands still in the water. he didn’t speak, didn’t even give himself time to speak before he was making his way over to you. his cold hands grabbed at your waist, turning you around and pushing your lower back against the counter, subsequently pulling your hands out of the sink.

“missed you so much, you have no idea.” he sighed, his large hands pulling up your sleep shirt and exposing your warm skin to the cooler air in your apartment and his cold hands. this time, he didn’t give you time to speak before his face was buried in the space between your neck and shoulder, and you felt his warm breath fanning across your skin before the feeling of his kisses took over.

the chills sent down your spine seemed to affect your speech because you struggled to get out your question, “booker what are you-“

“shut up. just shut up.” he groaned, pulling his head away from you and turning you around, shoving your front against the counter instead. he raised your shirt up and bunched it in his fist at your lower back. “been thinking about fucking you all week, can’t wait any longer.” he spoke, his mouth right against your ear, the chills returning.

“i’m trying to clean…” you said pathetically, knowing that, in the end, booker would get what he wanted, he always got what he wanted when it came to you. the sound that came out of his mouth was a mix between a scoff and a laugh. “so then clean, i’m not stopping you.” he replied.

you gulped and nodded, dipping your hands back into the soapy water to grab another dish. his free hand left your hip momentarily, and the sound of the zipper on his pants exposed what he was doing. you sighed, trying to calm your beating heart. you weren’t scared or anything but booker always had a way of making you nervous, in a good or bad way you weren’t sure.

his hand finally returned to your skin, but not for long as he grabbed the hem of your underwear and yanked them down, fully exposing you to him even in the dim kitchen. you felt his calloused fingers between your thighs and you sighed as he gathered the slick that had been pooling in your underwear the moment he first touched you.

“god.” he mumbled, “i can’t wait any longer, keep doing those damn dishes.” he said and just two seconds later, you felt the pressure of his tip at your entrance, and about one second later, he pushed all the way in with one thrust. he really meant it when he couldn’t wait any longer because he set a brutal pace almost immediately. he usually liked to go slow, but it was obvious that he needed to let out some very pent up frustration, and you were secretly more than happy to provide that release for him.

“o-ow! booker, slow down!” you whined, almost dropping the glass plate you had in your hand, but you clutched it tighter when you felt the squeeze of his own hand against the back of your neck keeping you in place for him. “shh, what’d i say? keep doing those goddamn dishes, okay baby? you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting for this, waiting to hear your little whines and to feel you squeezing against me so fucking tight. just give it to me, please.” he said between labored breaths and groans.

as if to prove a point, you instinctively squeezed around him solely at the sound of his voice, and the fact that he was so desperate for you and you only. you moaned at the mere thought of him constantly thinking about you while he was out doing whatever it was that he did. “fuck.” you whined and resumed what you had been trying to do before he interrupted you.

your hands shakily scrubbed and rinsed the plate and then set it on the rack next to you to dry, all while mustering up all the strength in your body to keep hold of the slippery dishes. booker had no care in the world about your dishes, in fact, if you broke one he probably wouldn’t even stop, at the rate he was going he’d probably laugh it off and fuck you harder.

“taking me so fucking well, aren’t you? you can never say no to me even when you’re doing your boring little chores. you feel so good, fuck fuck fuck, just like that.” he groaned, his upper body now caged around yours, with his hand now wrapped around the front of your neck instead of the back. he didn’t squeeze enough to fully choke you, mostly to just keep you tight against his chest.

“such a whore, all for me right?” he asked and you nodded frantically, “yes booker! y-yes i’m your whore.” you all but shouted, the feeling of him fucking you so hard you couldn’t think straight mixed with the effort to focus on your chore overwhelmed you more than you had ever been in your entire life, but in the best way possible. “such a good girl, fuck ‘m gonna cum inside you-gonna fill you up.” he rambled, and you whined and dropped the next dish you were holding, completely giving up your focus on those damn dishes.

his grunting got louder and his grip got tighter, signaling that he was very close. “p-please, cum inside…i need it, want it so bad.” you begged, turning your head slightly to look back at him, his jaw clenched and his eyes on you. “god you’re so fucking pretty, prettiest girl i’ve ever seen, even when i’m fucking you dumb you’re still gorgeous.”

there was something about his praise that sent you over the edge, maybe the fact that he was giving you the sweetest compliments while simultaneously treating you like a rag doll. but nonetheless, you came, very hard, around booker, clenching and unclenching around him with your mouth dropped open in a silent scream and your eyebrows furrowed.

“fuck fuck, keep looking at me, that’s it.” he grunted and the coil finally snapped. he let out a loud moan, his hips stilling and completely pressed against your ass. you felt his cum spill inside you, his forehead resting against your shoulder trying to catch his breath.

the only noise in the kitchen was the rhythmic sound of your breathing mixed with booker’s pants. after what seemed like forever, he pulled out completely with a sigh, his cum spilling out of you in the process. he took a moment to enjoy the sight before letting go of your throat and grabbing a clean dish towel to clean you up. he pulled your shirt down and turned you to face him.

“i really did miss you.” he spoke, his voice slightly hoarse from the previous activities. you only nodded, now focusing on keeping yourself upright and trying to prevent your legs from giving out on you. he seemed to notice because he reached around and pulled the drain from the sink, picked you up, and carried you upstairs to the shower without a word.

by the time you had awoken in the morning, your bed and apartment were completely empty, the only sign of his presence being the bruises on your hips, the ache between your thighs, and the leftover dirty dishes in the sink. nothing new. it made you question how much he really missed you.

»»————-　★　————-««

i did have a lil angst fic i wanted to post, but booker’s voice does something to me sometimes 😨. anyway, hopefully i’ll start writing about more characters!!!

[raetttriestowrite]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Thank you TK for the ask!!!! Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut - author's pick!

So author's pick is a cruel cruel joke bc as soon as you sent that my head emptied of like. everything ever that i wanted to talk about 😂 and i could talk about a lot of things.

So! i'm going about this bit from Take the Photographs (and then like. The Bleeding Effect as a whole):

"[The animus] doesn't work like that," Desmond disagrees, shaking his head. "To pick up the skills you have to synchronise, and to synchronise is to invite them into your head to Bleed. Can't have one without the other."

So! Okay!! My kinda headcanon kinda How It Works in BTMTMIM for the Bleeding Effect, and the reason Desmond's all kinda fucked up about it.

There are 2 ways that the animus could work:

you watch your ancestors memories as like. a movie. 3rd party observer style

you experience the memories as though they're your own.

Rebecca is trying to move the animus towards the first way, to reduce the Bleeding Effect. But. okay. how much do you learn if you just watch someone else do a thing? i could watch martial arts videos all day and at the end i'd still be just as incapable as i was when i started. SO. Realistically the first way would achieve nothing to help train Desmond into a better assassin, which was the whole point.

Therefore, the second way, where you experience the memories as though they're your own, would be the way to gain the abilities of your ancestor. you'd build muscle memory off of their actions bc you're remembering them as your own actions. so it'd be functionally the same as practicing for the amount of memory-time that pasts. Kinda.

Which is where i come in with the sync thing. So obviously there's sync rates - higher is better, lower is worse. So the way i'm thinking of it is like. the more you can immerse yourself in the memory, the higher the sync and the more effective it is for learning shit, bc you move away from the 3rd party observer thing. but like. a memory is not only actions. it's thoughts and feelings. so the more Desmond sync's the more he feels like you is his ancestor, bc he's remembering the events as Altair or Ezio or Connor would remember them, and he remembers being Altair or Ezio or Connor. He remmebers being them. In that memory he stops being Desmond and becomes his ancestor.

And that? that lingers. right. so sure there's 25? years of memories rattling around in his skull in which he's Desmond Miles. But there's also like. a decade worth of being Altair, and fucking. 4 decades of Ezio and another 2? or Connor. and there's a part of him that is convinced that he was that ancestor for that time. they're his memories.

(Which is what fucked up Clay so bad. He could remember too many people and couldn't figure out who was who was when.)

Anyway. So. Desmond achieved high sync which meant lots of memories of not being Desmond. and so the Bleeding Effect is just. when his memories of Alltair or Ezio or Connor are more who he is than Desmond. for that brief instant. So now he's desperately trying to organise the memories into some kinda way? and hoping that if he can box it all up right, acknowledge each memory as whose it is as Desmond and make it Desmond's memory, rather than his ancestors, he'll manage to curtail the Bleeding Effect personality shifts he's dealing with.

And then there was this bit from You'll Find a Man:

"It's good to meet you," Booker says perhaps halfway down. He's moving better now, easier, the drugs having worn off a bit. "And no offense, Jack, but I'm glad to be out of your head." "You as well, fratello mio," Jack says, crooking a smile at the pale blue-gold figure. It's as good a name as any of his others.

which long story short, and was not have been 100% clear in the story, but Des got a new personality wholesale bc like. He's wildly fucked up and Desmond couldn't deal with being in That Room in Abstergo. Self preservation kicked in and he ended up just. remembering everything from everyone, (where usually the Altair/Ezio/Connor shift's only remember themselves) and accepted the new name bc he wasn't really any one of them, but all 4. bc all memories.

and That. spoilers. is going to eventually lead into my Fix for Desmond's fucked up brain problems, where he does get a handle on the Bleeding Effect. bc like. Clay did it... (Clay doesn't count he rend himself down to code and could rewrite his whole being if he wanted.)... actually. there is a hint of this eventual solution in When The Lonesome Whistle Cries. kudos if anyone can pick it out and draw the correct conclusion. I've been building towards this for fucking ever and cannot wait to get to it proper in the fic.

i'm actually fucking pumped to get that whole bit out, even though it's. uh. ???? idk when it's gonna happen but it's there. it's one of those threads i've been carrying along from the start. Apologies if any of my readers wanted to wallow in the uncertainty and angst of the if Des will ever fix his brain. spoilers, i guess?

Anyway. there you go. that's my mildly incomprehensible and incoherent rambling thoughts on the Bleeding Effect, as it exists in Bless This Mess This Mess Is Mine 'verse. Thanks for letting me talk about it!! <3<3<3<3

[666prophet]

Fallout S1:E6 - The Trap

This one is okay. It showed more of the Vault-Tec(pre-bombs) and The Ghoul. Did feel like Lucy and Maximus were just kinda there. Not really adding to or involved in what was going on. Its another flashback heavy one. Which is getting to the point where it feels like they are trying to make two shows at once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spoilers and Deep Dive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok so the Hawthorns are scientist who are running Vault 4, that means that Lucy and Maximus are in the shit already. So it really feels like Coop isn't big on Vault-Tec. He seems to be going through the motions for his wife, who we still really don't know what she does at Vault-Tec. I think this wrap party really drives home that Vault-Tec is causing Coop to see his wife in a different light. Not losing love, but more of a confusion as to who she is seeming to become. Classic Matt Berry, love the man. This kind of set the reason as to the confusion at the birthday party in the first episode. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY NEED A KEY? Also you can move without a fusion core, you are just slow and are limited on the functions of the suit.

I'm not surprised that an R&D scientist lead vault would take in wastelanders. You need test subjects and its easier when they are willing to walk through the doors. Or in this case fall through a chute. Alright so Maximus is a virgin. Since when has there been a celibacy rule in the BoS? Veronica's(FONV) parents were both BoS members. Hell you could romance Danse(FO4), so this is new information. I also really hope a love story isn't brewing between them. It just feels weird, like she is someone who is nice to you and now you fall head-over-heels for her after spending time with her for a coupe of days? Whelp, there's a chance they slipped them something after seeing that sign. Cyclops overseer Benjamin seems nice, albeit a tad goofy. There's a lot of mutated people in this vault. The question is did they come in mutated or this was an after effect.

So is this a general flashback or The Ghoul having a bit of a moment? Um hold up Barb. "One of the good vaults?" Ok so Barb is full Vault-Tec at this point. Also with a statement like that, it means that she is someone who is in the upper echelon. Hey, its William Knifeman. Ahhhuh Ahhhuh Ahhhuh. This argument between Coop and Barb is great. It highlights how she is trying to deflect and he is trying to probe seemingly innocuously. It's showing the two sides of how people respond to fear. I feel like she kept using their daughter in order to guilt and "win" the argument/discussion.

So that kind of confirms that the would take in people to experiment on them. Though it seems the overseer is completely clueless. Alright you can hate me but in a gallows humor kind of way that is a funny joke. This is strange that they will talk about level 12 but not what's on that level. Also that comment is strange, "you should know that". So he has to know that vaults mostly all had some nefarious motives. They are really selling the fact that Maximus is falling for the idea of being in a vault. Which really shows that no one knows the purpose of the vaults still. Only those who are in high level positions. Hold up, Shady Sands couldn't have been destroyed in 2277. It is Explicitly mentioned in FONV, which is set in 2281. So there is no way that the NCR in the Mojave wouldn't have known for four years that Shady Sands was wiped off the map. The only other thing is they mean fall as in decline(the fall of Rome). I hope its that because of the small extension of the timeline arrow then a mushroom cloud. If not this is another example of Todd/Bethesda milking the fuck out of FONV but not wanting to recognize it.

Sorrel Booker? As in Sorrel Booke aka "Boss" Hogg? Also that super mutant wanted poster looked a lot like Strong(FO4). Which would be crazy for him to go from the east coast to the west. Well that's an obvious sore spot for The Ghoul. Now the question is who was the "her." Does that mean that Barb or Janey are still around somehow? Meeting at a public mausoleum feels a little odd for a group trying to hide "communist" views at that time. OK so we really are a cult got it. So Moldaver is from pre-bomb, was at Sandy Shores and is the mystical Flame Mother. How did she survive 200 years and two bombs?!?!?!?!

So Maximus is absolutely on board with staying after having caviar and oysters? Two things he has probably never seen on the surface and being a part of BoS. I mean on one hand I can see his change of heart, seeing as this is a dream compared to the wasteland. Though that's a really quick 180 from, what appears to be, a few hours ago. OK. OK. So we're just diving into the deep end of body horror with this huh. Like yes there is the Master(FO1), robobrains and even Rex(FONV) but nothing like this. This is some Cronenberg-esque stuff.

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Well this was a definitely a wild one. Definitely showed how intertwined the story of Coop/The Ghoul are to Vault-Tec. It also helps give people(specifically newcomers to the Fallout universe) an idea of just how fucked up and all controlling Vault-Tec was. Hoping to maybe see something like this done for Maximus.

Final Score - 7/10

[captain-grammar]

Booker's exiled. He's lonely. He has nowhere to go. He doesn't know anybody in this world. Nobody he could rely on. Nobody who he could spend some time with, or at the very least connect with while he tries to get his head straight.

Except he does.

He hasn't seen Gael in three years. He likely isn't even living in Murcia any more. He'll have moved on, taken another teaching job, hell, moved to another country.

But Booker doesn't have anyone else. Just a man he spent one night with who may not even remember they did.

Spain is as hot as the last time they wound up here. The cathedral square is just as rammed full of tourists. For a moment, Booker isn't even sure he remembers the apartment building he wound up in that fateful night but his feet sure do.

He doesn't wait to buzz. He takes advantage of a young mother's hasty exit and slips inside.

Booker's heart is pounding in the elevator. Every floor, a chance to turn back and go somewhere - anywhere - else.

Why am I doing this? Every step down the hall to a door he barely remembers. Why, why, why?

Loneliness is too strong a burden to ignore.

He knocks. Silence. Maybe there's nobody home? Maybe he has moved? Maybe this was all in vein?

Relief mixes with utter heartbreak when Booker realises that nobody is there to answer his knocks. Gripping tight onto his satchel, the bare essentials inside, he makes to turn.

But the door opens, and a familiar pair of deep, brown eyes, wide in surprise, greets him from inside.

"Sebastien?" Gael's voice is incredulous, his expression a picture.

Booker smiles weakly.

"It turns out you'll see me again after all," he jokes.

***

Gael isn't distant. He isn't even cold. He's confused and completely at a loss at what to say.

You can't stay here.

Booker hadn't even considered that it might be an option. He just wanted to see him. The only person on earth who knows anything about him that hasn't cast him aside for 100 years.

But maybe... Maybe we can catch up?

It starts with a friendly drink. Ice-breaking. That first night on repeat but with a hint of trepidation and of keeping one another at arm's length. Drinks turn to dinner. Dinner turns to nights meeting Gael's friends.

Is he going to be a fixture here? Gael's friends mock and tease. They know the weight of something between the two of them, even if Booker and Gael are loathe to admit it.

A few weeks pass and the ice has melted into a pool of warm water that Booker and Gael have long since given up pretending they're not wading waist-deep into. A night of quiet talk at Gael's apartment, his roommate casting an enquiring eye over the pair, excusing himself early, even though the sun set hours ago.

Booker sighs, more at one with the couch that he's been with the bed in his hotel room.

"I can't go back there tonight," he sighs, mostly to himself.

Gael offers a sheepish glance.

"Then sleep here tonight," he offers. "You're almost asleep as it is."

Decision made. Booker's here for the night.

Lights off. Pants off. T-shirt and underwear on his one-night stand's couch, lying under a blanket, eyes drifting to Gael's closed bedroom door more often than Booker would like to admit, wondering if Gael's thinking anything close to what's running through his mind.

Of course he's not. Booker shakes his head. Why the fuck would he?

Grunting, frustrated, the warm summer air thick even in the dark of night, he clambers up and pads across the kitchen for a glass of water. The cupboards are suddenly too loud, the tap too squeaky, the water gushing like a torrent.

Booker winces. Don't wake him, don't wake him...

A door behind him clicks open. Booker turns sharply, instincts heightened in his exile.

Gael. Dark curls rumpled. Eyes full of something Booker can't quite place but it looks almost like determination.

"Sorry," Booker whispers, laying the glass on the side. "Did I wake you?"

Gael shakes his head. "I haven't slept."

His glance is fixed on Booker like a hunter stalking prey as he walks towards him purposefully.

"Is everything alright?" Booker can feel his voice waver.

Again, Gael shakes his head.

"Something's missing," he says simply.

Booker's heart jumps but he hardly dare hope. He can't mean what Booker thinks he means, can he?

Gael's closing the gap and saying nothing. Words couldn't do justice to the way he's approaching Booker with a level of certainty that's almost alarming.

Booker's expecting the punch in the face he felt sure Gael would land on him when he saw him again. After disappearing, ghosting, without the call that Booker promised, he'd almost deserve it.

Instead, Gael takes him by the back of his neck and pulls him into a fierce, deep, slow kiss, chests flush, breaths shared.

An eternity passes like no time at all and they part, panting, pressing foreheads together.

"Come to bed with me," Gael murmurs, taking Booker's hands into his own with locked fingers.

Booker's led from the kitchen, through the lounge and into a room he didn't think he'd see again. Into a bed he never thought he'd lie in again.

Into sex with a man that makes him forget anything before it existed.

[piperslovebot]

More T9S thoughts

As everyone probably already knows, I see Nate/Nikki as T9S’s Jackie/Kelso. And like I said? The first three episodes and some sweet moments proved they had potential to be more. But I personally think that’s ruined and it’s too late to fix that.

Nate almost kissed Leia and definitely would’ve gone through with it if Gwen hadn’t have walked in. And given that this literally happened three episodes after he acted like as Katie Matlin would say “a jealous jerk” about Nikki and Trevor when there was literally nothing between them. And even after that, he was clearly pining over Leia in that last scene and watching Jeia kiss in sadness with his girlfriend right next to him.

To me that’s literally unforgivable and Nikki should kick him to the fucking curb. Do I think they could’ve lasted had their relationship remained how it was the first three episodes? Yes. But after that? Fuck no. Nikki deserves so much better.

And even before that, instead of talking to Nikki about his feelings in KIA, he lied because he wanted to back Jay up and most likely he also didn’t want to fight with Nikki. Then brought it up to Leia and called Nikki “practical” for being realistic. And Leia’s response was even more annoying but I’ve talked about that.

Like why would Nikki ever be with someone like that again? Someone who doesn’t understand her ambitions and talk badly about her views on life. Fuck that. Nikki deserves so much better.

Now onto Nate/Leia…

Even though I hate the fact that they screwed over my favorite character in the finale, I do think there’s potential for them as relationship.

For starters, them having the same values and wants is a good foundation for their relationship. And they do have great chemistry imo. But another issue I have with them is that there isn’t enough substance in their relationship. What do they have aside from being hopeless romantics? There needs to be more than just similar wants in a relationship.

They definitely do have a spark and are comfortable with one another. And I love that Nate and Leia are able to cheer each other up. But what else? What does Leia like about Nate as a person? What does Nate like about Leia as a person? How do they make each other feel? What other things do they have in common aside from believing in fate?

Don’t get me wrong, that’s a very good foundation. But I also wanna see more. Even something as simple as activities they’d like to do together.

I used to not like Neia for the reason that we don’t see anything they have in common aside from the same wants in life. But honestly, I blame the writers more for not actually giving Nate and Leia more opportunities to develop a deeper connection.

I know I've called L*ndsey a Neia fangirl, but honestly looking at it now, I don’t think she cares about them much either. If she did, Nate and Leia would’ve had a lot more development and scenes with them alone early on. But that didn’t happen. Until Dirty Double Booker, Nate and Leia had little to no proper interactions when there could’ve been opportunities. For fucks sake, Leia is literally best friends with Nate’s sister. They’re in the same friend group. And I know that some bonds are stronger than others, but couldn’t they have had just a few interactions alone?

Like Jackie/Eric didn’t interact a ton, but they had some little interactions sporadically. And while I talk shit about Hyde/Donna and think they’d make a terrible couple, they had a good amount of interactions by themselves.

But, to be fair, there are 10 episodes in T9S currently and there are seven seasons of T7S. So it’s not fair to compare.

But Gwen/Leia had moments in every damn episode. Even in Boyfriend Day 1 & Summer Storm, they had a fuck ton of moments. Albeit not alone, but they still interacted and said words to each other.

Idk man I just wish Nate and Leia had more proper interactions. They have potential to be a genuine connection, but the writers seem to be having them as a plot device.

[the73rdpostscript]

Both @beepbeepsan and @non-un-topo tagged me. Thank you both <33 (This ended up being a really nice way to spend my morning.)

Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll roughly to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people.

So this is very interesting because I don't finish or publish much of my fics under my current pseud these days. It looks like I only have 8 Old Guard fics up right now. So you guys will get to see a little piece of my old Christmas Carol fic. I wrote it in my 20s and I don't think it's as good as the long Christmas Carol fic that's been sitting in my drafts for 8 years. But I'm very fond of it anyway.

(And fuck it. I'm gonna throw in my old 3:10 to Yuma fic too. Cause even old shit that we don't love deserves to be acknowledged for what it was to us at the time.)

Nothing Here But Love (A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens)

This one time, Bob had insisted on driving alone – taking care of a situation without backup. And now he is stuck in his car.

“Tell our husband,” Betty has begun covering up a pie with foil, “that we’re eating in 15 minutes.”

2. Tonight We're Going Hard (The Old Guard)

Joe is still laughing long after everyone else stops, and his voice is heavy with emotion as he says, "I am your best friend. And I will take all your advice. When we first met, I thought there couldn't-"

Nicky doesn’t get to hear the rest of this particular soliloquy, because Quynh steals his attention by sliding over to stand beside him.

"You have that look in your eye,” she says, a teasing lilt in her voice.

3. Fighting Death (and Boredom) (The Old Guard)

Two hours later, Nicky comes home to find Joe curled up on the couch, holding Nile’s hand. On-screen, a giant electric sign comes swinging down from the top of a building and takes out a character with brutal efficiency. 

Joe shouts in alarm as Nile laughs and the credits roll.

4. Floored (The Magnificent Seven 1998)

But let it never be said that Ezra Standish doesn’t know how to hold his ground when faced with a hot and temperamental man. As Chris rounds on him, grabbing him by the collar and hauling him out of his seat - he keeps his face calm and his hands raised.

"You did it, Ezra," Chris hisses, his eyes wild, "You've gotten under my skin. Was that what you needed? Are you satisfied?"

5. Never Let Me Go (The Old Guard)

With visible effort Nicolo’s chest moves, and the swords that have pierced him all seem to shudder and dance at once. They clang in an ungodly chorus as they heave out of his body and tumble to the ground. Blood still coats Nicolo’s shirt, and his groan is inaudible under the sudden chaos of the men around Yusuf now noticing that their last desperate attempt to kill the white devil has failed again. 

6. A River Arrives in the House of the Dead Men (The Prodigious Flowering Rage) (The Old Guard)

Later, Booker sat next to Nicky on the couch and quietly muttered, “He certainly captured what made Goya unique.”

Nicky hummed; unsure what Booker was looking for.

“Will you talk to him?” Booker looked him in the eye as he asked, and Nicky nodded – surprised again by the intensity of Booker’s concern.

7. Yes Of Course (The Old Guard)

“Yes, I think it will sound very similar to her Frank Ocean.”

Joe is far too tired to try and guess who Nicky would be so confident about, but he nods sleepily and reaches up with one hand – blindly grabbing for something he can’t articulate but that he trusts Nicky to understand. With a laugh, Nicky catches his hand and holds it, kissing along the flesh and murmuring endearments.

8. Grief and Ravioli (The Old Guard)

Joe sits down slowly, settling in beside her with his legs crossed and his face placid, listening to her as she lets out the rant that’s been building for days.

9. Ten Ounces (The Old Guard)

“Nicky,” Joe begins.

"Please, Joe," Nicky whispers, suddenly, his hand lifting to press tightly against the beat of Joe's heart. "Go back inside.”

10. Every Step to the Daylight (3:10 to Yuma)

She remains still, her hips swaying a bit as she keeps her knees from locking. Between her and their place at the bar, there are at least six tables filled with men. Between her bullet and Ben Wade there is only Charlie.

This was wild. It was really encouraging to take a look at all my fics after taking a month or two off from writing. I forgot how much I love writing the Old Guard gang and all the ways they interact. And I'm...good at writing sometimes? Remarkable.

I think I'm late to this party, so I'm not totally sure who has or hasn't been tagged yet. I'm going to tag ANYONE who wants to do this.

[stewy]

howdy jack!!! so i know you love bioshock, and im starting bioshock infinite now, and wanted to know your thoughts feelings opinions on it (if youve played it)? i literally just started last night bc i was disappointed by the ending of the first game and wanted MORE. one thing ive heard is it handles racial injustice badly in the last act of the game, and you have always been outspoken about racism in media, so i wanted to know your opinion on that specifically? if you want to talk about any of this, obviously, idek if you played it! appreciate you and hope you have a great week webstie 💖 a

hiya shiv <3 i love bioshock infinite! i actually did the reverse thing where i played it first and only then picked up 1 & 2 lol but yes, infinite is a very very good game. 2013 was a good year for girls who like to shoot things and press buttons

so, racism in definitely a subject approached in bioshock. race plays a key factor in the worldbuilding, confronting the player to the point where they cannot escape it. playing as white man booker, we are complicit in every action; from that scene to the last act. not to make everything about doctor who (ew), last night i rewatched the s3 finale for the 34095th time and a scene in it reminded me of this ask: when francine (martha's mother) picks up the gun to shoot the master after all the terrible torture she's endured, and put an end to it, white man doctor says that NO! violence is NOT the answer! peace and love on planet earth! all of that for the master to finally be killed by the white woman he tortured/married.

it reminded me of you because something quite similar happens in BI: in a shocking twist (/s), we learn that the actions of the black female leader of the revolution are just as bad as the comstock's because *gasps* she decided to respond with violence to violence. my point is that, race is a factor taken into consideration by BI (and with wayyy more care than in DW), but it inevitably falls into the trap of taking white/western idealism as the moral high ground for all. it doesn't matter if you and your black family have suffered under the hands of white supremacists; if you shoot back, you're just as bad. ALSO, there's the fact that this is literally a FPS. how fucking hypocritical is that?

so i guess this is what people mean, from what i remembered? and, honestly, while BI is way more progressive and upfront about racism in early 20th century america than most media, it still doesn't go anywhere with it. our main characters are white booker and elizabeth, and we stay with them the whole time, save for our encounters with daisy. the depiction of the chinese weirded me the fuck out as well, but i haven't played that bit in a while so i can't recall specifically what bothered me about it. but it's still a good game! and i hope you enjoy it anyway >:]