#book: dont want you like a best friend
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
battyaboutbooksreviews · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Find my review here.
12 notes · View notes
monkesupreme · 19 hours ago
Text
As cute as that post is, the hc i live behind is that Bruce has been surrounded by rich people all his life and is so aware of the kind of nasty shit they do that hes like hyperaware of protecting his kids in the Right way, and that means being extremely blunt and nonchalant about sexual things they may or may not do. Hes the dad thats constantly reminding them to use condoms or buy this kind of lube for these kinds of toys and the kids HATE ITTTTT theyre like PLEASE OLD MAN. ENOUGH. I GET IT !!!!
Hes like got a million answers for everything bc HE did so much shit in his lifetime that hes a walking encyclopedia but they would literally Die before coming up to him for any sex related questions. Which is really unfortunate (for them) bc at least TWO of his children are dating aliens and old enough to Do Things and its impossible to just google [insert alien race] anatomy; the only people who have that information are the aliens in question and BRUCE bc hes the only fucker that keeps track of this shit !!! Going to Bruce for anything is soooo dire bc the reminder that he FUCKS is like too much for them to bear, esp when hes out patrolling w Selina or Clark and hes like smiling and bickering w them its like NOOOO THATS RIGHT NOT THEM TOO ‘oh my fucking goddd not uncle clark’ <- jason about to literally explode from how red his fucking face is
Tumblr media
#chattin#suggestive#bruce#DONT know where im going w this#just that i hc bruce as someone who had very limited avenues for pleasure while doing his whole batman schtick#and so he indulged in very extreme ways and had to trial and error his way into finding something that worked for him#so kink circles have always been his best friend#and like he KNOWWWWWWWS this life is so fucking tough and stressful and theres like no way u get a bunch of teens and young adults#and people in general in the same place constantly without having them fool around its like the same shit thay happens in the olympics LOL#so hes like well its GOING to happen and i know this bc alfred tried to stop Me and that was. unsuccessful 🧍‍♂️#so hes just loops back into being supportive so that they dont compromise themselves#and its the WORSTTTT for his boys bc bruce just fucking Knows when things are happening#and when theyre behaving like bruce in his early years#or gravitating to the same circles (jason) that he used to frequent#and its SO funny bc bruce is just so deadpan and dry about everything INCLUDING this#hes just an awkward dad making sure his kids are okay 🥺 he did the atupid experimental shit so they dont have to !!!!!#but what that also means is that hes in ur business way more than you want him to be#yes i am . in relations w [insert alien teammate]#no i do not need to read up on the . anatomical books you found of them in your travels.#(tim specifically) NO you do not need to ask CLARK for- WHY WOULD U ASK HIMMMM BEFORE READING THE BOOKS- DONT ANSWER THAT
25 notes · View notes
hanzajesthanza · 1 year ago
Text
“what does geralt get from that friendship…”
another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.
the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.
that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.
but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.
I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.
so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.
‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’
this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.
each day is not lived, but endured.
day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.
in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.
without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.
‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’
No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.
because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.
‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’
someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.
and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit” which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.
Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.
dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.
while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.
and what else does this friendship save him from?
not only from others, but from himself.
worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.
dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.
and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—
Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!
to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.
'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'
'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'
The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.
'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'
it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?
did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?
by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.
indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.
so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?
an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.
300 notes · View notes
yourfavebooklrsfavebooklr · 2 months ago
Text
Some lesbian books for international lesbian day!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole - 1/2 MCs is a lesbian
The Orc and Her Bride by Lila Gwynn - 1/2 MCs is a lesbian
Tell Me How It Ends by Quinton Li - MC is a lesbian (confirmed by author, pretty clear in book, not explicitly stated yet)
Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant - there’s a large cast of characters, one major SC / love interest is a lesbian
Like Other Girls by Britta Lundin - MC is a lesbian
The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar- MC is a lesbian
Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban - I’m pretty sure both MCs are lesbians? At least one is
Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo - MC is a lesbian
Cosmoknights by Hannah Templer - pretty sure at least one major character is a lesbian
27 notes · View notes
sappy-detective · 1 year ago
Text
so i’m obsessed with when fics make shuichi a working detective. and i have a small detective/runaway saiouma AU. warning i talk a LOT
so ouma and saihara are childhood best friends. i’m talking like knowing each other since like kindergarten age.
they’re both attached at the hip. shuichi being a shy introvert and ouma being very obnoxious and outgoing. one thing they have in common is that- well they don’t have any friends. no one wants to talk to shuichi because they think he’s weird and no one likes ouma because they think he’s loud and obnoxious. but they mesh so well and become the best of friends.
and their home lives are very polar opposite.
oumas pretty poor, his dad is an abusive dick and his mom is .. well she try’s to be good but in the end she stands by and doesn’t say or do anything to stop his dad. but he’s a mamas boy through and trough.
shuichis mom and dad pretty much abandoned him with his aunt and uncle. they’re upper middle class and they’re very very supportive and loving to him. they’re his mother and father figure but it’s not the same as having your mom and dad. especially sucks when he sees them in movies and tv shows.
they share everything with each other and are very comfortable with each other. they came out to each other and support each other. they’re just very incredibly close.
then one day, ouma just, disappears?
they’re in about high school when he disappears. about 15-16? at this point, shuichis made friends with kaede, maki, and kaito, along with others in his class. he’s still shy and has social anxiety but it wasn’t as bad as it used to be.
he didn’t notice at first, but found it odd that ouma didn’t text him in the morning, or walk with shuichi to his bus stop.
he and ouma go to different schools so he can’t talk to him direct, so he tries calling ouma during his lunch hour but the call didn’t go through at all.
he was bubbling with anxiety the whole day, kaede and his friends tried calming him down but this is WAy out of character. this goes on for days and shuichis just about to freak because.. we’ll he can’t really do anything.
ouma never invited shuichi over or even told shuichi where he lives. he isn’t embarrassed about being poor or anything but he doesn’t want shuichi meeting his dad.
they always hang out at shuichis house, ouma always walks home and refuses any offers of a ride home from shuichis uncle so shuichi has no idea whats going on.
now with shuichis uncle being a detective i imagine that he tries snooping and he figured out it looks like ouma either ran away from home or was kidnapped.
now this is part you can take out but,
the night before, ouma visited saiharas window. not extremely weird. on school night when ouma isn’t allowed past 9, so he visits saiharas windows to talk to him.
what was odd about this time was that ouma seemed to be in a rush. his face was flushed and he was panting like he just ran a marathon. he was at saiharas window just talking, then periodically popping in cool he thought shuichi was. in a kind of ouma way.
“pst! ouma! come on, we have to go!” shuichi jumped a bit, looking past ouma to see a feminine figure jogging up to his back fence.
“who’s that?”
“just… one of my friends” ouma sighed, letting go of the  windowsill.
that night ends with ouma giving shuichi a kiss, a semi love confession and a smile before leaving with his friend.
then he disappears. you can take that part out though. but i think it adds a kind of lead to what happened.
shuichis uncle isn’t allowed to investigate or interfere because he knows ouma so it’s all up to the detective that’s put on his missing persons case. maybe they think he ran away so it’s not being taken seriously?
shuichi just wants to get to the bottom of what happened to his best friend (and let’s be honest, almost lover.)
then it’s teen boy detective saihara snooping around, going to his school just- being a detective.
this is just a funny idea i MIGHT write a one shot about or might not who knows. OBVIOUSLY the people he left with was DICE but shuichi doesn’t know that. i like to think that they’re close this makes shuichi realize that, in reality, he knows nothing about ouma.
sure he knows his favorite food, how he likes his fruit cut and what his favorite flavor of candy is but he doesn’t even know what his parents names are or where he lives.
in reality oumas been planning on running away for a long time, planning with his friends/found family and just has been putting it off because… well shuichi would be alone without him but now that shuichis finally has more friends to help him out he feels comfortable leaving his shitty home life.
definitely wasn’t easy tho!!! you should add more mystery if you want- make it fun
60 notes · View notes
faaun · 5 months ago
Text
i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
16 notes · View notes
sunnnfish · 2 years ago
Text
“If you just do everything you’re supposed to do you’ll eventually end up where you need to be.” Infinity train book 4 you fuck me up so bad still. “You can mess up even if you stand still…” MIN-GI PARK…..
122 notes · View notes
comradecowplant · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you ��‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
7 notes · View notes
scarletfantasia · 10 months ago
Text
I decide to watch again Alive (1993) to compare with Society of the Snow.
I discovered their story through a documentary and later with Alive that I liked so much that I read the book and Nando's book. And yes I havent seen again this movie after that. Because the choices they made with the reality and changing the names' deads disturbed me. Knowing the Survivors didnt like it was also a reason I hoped for a new movie and kept a distance with Alive. But I still genuinely thought it wasnt "bad" And I kept a "nostalgic" memory of it.
Well, after Society of the Snow, watching a old documentary and reading again Nando's book...oh dear Alive (1993) is painful to watch.
I could write already an essay about everything that goes wrong...and I am only at the thirtieth minutes.
8 notes · View notes
waffultaim · 4 months ago
Text
Being a firegray shipper in the warriors fandom is such a drama, you think you have problems with your rarepair or unknown ship well you really don't understand real pain, it's supposed to be simple this generic basic shipping that could have amount of content by default because they are "BFF" in canon yet still nothing no sound no much talk, they have amount of paragraphs, lines, phrases, iconic moments in the books; the "Always Firestar", "I would give my life for you", "no cat would feel the same he felt for Graystripe for four long seasons"...yet still nothing it's so goddamn funny that makes me laugh 😂 and cry 😭 at the same time!! how doomed this pair can be tell me!
5 notes · View notes
battyaboutbooksreviews · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Find my review here.
4 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 2 years ago
Text
I AM NOT BRAVE I COULD SO EASILY BE UNABASHEDLY MYSELF IN EVERY WEIRD CRINGEY WAY AND SURROUND MYSELF WITH SIMILAR PEOPLE BUT I JUST DONT IM SO SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY LIKE IVE NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING BAD TO COME OF BEING MYSELF SO WHY AM I SO TERRIFIED OF IT IM SO SICK OF WAITING FOR LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE TO COME MY WAY BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FAIR WE ARE ALL SO DISGUSTED BY OURSELVES AND I WANT TO BE THE PERSON THAT CAN BE THEMSELF SO SHAMELESSLY THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN TOO BUT I JUST CANT BECAUSE IM NOT BRAVE AND I FEAR I NEVER WILL BE anyway im going grocery shopping does anyone want anything
#could claw my skin off with how angry i make myself like this cowardice goes against everything in me#goes against how i was raised goes against what i believe and yet here i am so terrified of my peer group and FOR WHAT#I DONT EVEN LIKE MOST OF THEM ARE YOU JOKING#if you ever think about starting a family i beg you dont do it in a small town it will CRIPPLE your child the shame will not leave#like???? NOTHING is stopping me from dressing how i want and talking about what i want and sharing my interests#BUT I JUST DONT DO IT#IM PERPETUALLY WAITING FOR AN ENVIRONMENT SUITED TO ME#LIKE UNI WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN I WAS TRULY MYSELF AND I HAVENT DONE THAT#SO IM LIKE 'OH OKAY IVE STILL GOT THE REST OF MY LIFE TO FIND SOMEWHERE'#AND THAT'S TRUE BUT I FUCKING HATE THAT ATTITUDE LIKE THAT IS NOT MY KIND OF ATTITUDE#im not just gonna hole away and wait for everything else to be fixed for me FUCK THAT#BUT IM SO SCARED OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE#and the worst part is the friends i have rn would probably not even give a fuck#like yeah id probably not be as close with some of them bc they just wouldnt get it#but the MAJORITY would be supportive bc these are genuinely the best friends ive ever had#and i would MAKE MORE FRIENDS THAT *DID* GET IT BY PUTTING MYSELF IN ENVIRONMENTS I ENJOYED#like if i joined book clubs to talk about fantasy or started courses to talk about writing (i am gonna focus on this a lot after uni tbh)#or if i just interacted with just genuinely cringey shit irl that i ENJOY but i WONT and it pisses the fuck out of me#like i used to feel such genuine fear for the weird kids at school bc i could see the torment they would be faced with#but out of the two of us i was significantly more pathetic in my shitty 15+ girl group going to parties#and getting traumatised to fit in. i loved it at the time dont get me wrong i thought i was hot shit#but like. why am i still so scared of what my 16 y/o hometown girl group would think#i dont even LIKE those bitches COME OFF IT LMFAO even my CURRENT hometown friend group didnt like them#bc even THEY let themselves be more authentic at school it was literally just me being a coward#like i'll slag off my hometown group til the cows come home bc they're Not Great but in secondary school i didnt even SPEAK to those girls#and sure it was a big school but to not be able to remember a time i spoke to them even once in five years?#is that something to be proud of? is that the girl i still want to embody? are we seriously still fucking doing this?#and i have the nerve to let everyone think im the strong one of the group. gtfo im so fucking mad about this#hella goes home
24 notes · View notes
hanzajesthanza · 2 months ago
Text
if the new witcher book doesn’t also have dandelion showing geralt around a city and fondly feeding him sauerkraut with tongs then it’s gonna be a 0/10 for me
18 notes · View notes
fullmetalneverland · 2 years ago
Text
"It's like—like we're all a fixed point in time, and that person—whoever I was back then—must exist somewhere, even if it's just when I'm smelling my father's cologne."
-Zeppazariel, Best Friend's Brother
29 notes · View notes
mifunebooty · 1 year ago
Text
Only thing i have to do to move on from how bitch ass messy 5th grade me was that totally was out of her control is to kill that bitch
4 notes · View notes
strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago
Text
LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#🎸#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_–#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
8 notes · View notes