#bonus points if you can coherently define all of these

[prokopetz]

Canon compliant

Canon compatible

Canon complacent

Canon comparable

Canon compulsive

Canon competitive

Canon competent

Canon compassionate

Canon complementary

Canon comprehensible

Canon companionable

Canon compressible

Canon complexifying

Canon compensatory

Canon complicit

[tanya31000]

How to Write an Article

In today's digital age, where content is king, mastering the art of article writing is essential for anyone looking to make an impact in the online world with the help of an article writer. Whether you're a blogger, journalist, marketer, or simply someone passionate about sharing your thoughts and ideas, knowing how to craft compelling and engaging articles can open doors to countless opportunities. This comprehensive guide aims to provide you with the tools and strategies necessary to write articles that captivate, inform, and inspire your readers.

Understanding Your Audience

Before you even start putting pen to paper, it's crucial to understand who your audience is. Defining your target demographic will help shape the tone, style, and content of your article. Are you writing for tech-savvy millennials, busy professionals, or stay-at-home parents? Conduct thorough research to uncover your audience's preferences, interests, and pain points. By understanding what resonates with your readers, you can tailor your article to meet their needs and expectations.

Bonus: 10 Free AI Essay Writer for Simplifying Your Content Creation

Choosing a Topic

The success of your article hinges on the topic you choose. Brainstorm ideas that are relevant, timely, and interesting to your target audience. Consider conducting keyword research to identify trending topics and popular search queries in your niche. Once you have a list of potential topics, narrow it down to one that aligns with your expertise and passion. Remember, originality is key. Choose a topic that hasn't been exhausted by countless other articles, or put your unique spin on a familiar subject.

Researching Your Topic

A well-researched article is a credible article. Take the time to gather information from reliable sources such as academic journals, reputable websites, and expert interviews. Dive deep into your topic, exploring different perspectives and uncovering valuable insights. Be sure to fact-check and cross-reference your information to ensure accuracy and integrity. Remember, the more thorough your research, the more authoritative your article will be.

Structuring Your Article

A well-structured article is easy to read and digest. Start with a captivating introduction that grabs the reader's attention and sets the stage for what's to come. Clearly state the purpose of your article and outline the main points you'll be covering. In the body of your article, organize your ideas logically using subheadings to break up the text and improve readability. Provide evidence, examples, and anecdotes to support your arguments and keep your readers engaged. Finally, wrap up your article with a concise conclusion that summarizes your key points and leaves a lasting impression on your audience.

Writing Engaging Content

Writing engaging content is both an art and a science. Use clear and concise language that is easy to understand, avoiding jargon and complex terms that may alienate your readers. Inject personality and voice into your writing to make it more relatable and memorable. Incorporate storytelling elements to create a narrative arc that draws readers in and keeps them hooked until the very end. Above all, be authentic and genuine in your writing, and your readers will respond in kind.

Polishing Your Draft

Once you've completed your first draft, it's time to polish and refine your writing. Start by editing for clarity and coherence, ensuring that your ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Check for grammar and spelling errors, and make sure your writing adheres to the rules of punctuation and syntax. Pay attention to consistency in style and tone throughout your article, making sure that your voice remains consistent from beginning to end.

Adding Visual Elements

Incorporating visual elements into your article can enhance its appeal and effectiveness. Consider including relevant images, graphics, or videos that complement your written content and help illustrate your points. Create infographics or charts to present complex data in a more visually appealing format. Be mindful of the placement and size of your visual elements, ensuring that they enhance rather than detract from the overall reading experience.

Citing Sources and References

It's important to give credit where credit is due. Whenever you use information or ideas from external sources, be sure to cite them properly to avoid plagiarism. Follow citation style guidelines such as APA, MLA, or Chicago style, and include a list of references at the end of your article. This not only demonstrates your commitment to academic integrity but also allows readers to verify the accuracy of your claims and delve deeper into the topic if they so choose.

Reviewing and Revising

Writing is a process, and no article is ever perfect on the first try. Seek feedback from peers, mentors, or trusted colleagues to gain fresh perspectives on your writing. Incorporate constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement, revising your content as needed. Don't be afraid to cut or rearrange sections of your article if they don't contribute to the overall narrative or flow. Remember, the goal is to create the best possible version of your article, and that often requires multiple rounds of revision.

Finalizing and Publishing

Once you're satisfied with your final draft, it's time to prepare your article for publication. Format it according to the guidelines of the platform you'll be publishing on, whether it's your own blog, a guest post on another website, or a print publication. Add meta descriptions and tags to improve search engine visibility and make it easier for readers to find your article online. Finally, hit the publish button and share your article with the world.

Promoting Your Article

Writing the article is just the first step; promoting it is equally important. Leverage social media channels such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn to share your article with your network and reach a wider audience. Engage with your readers by responding to comments, answering questions, and soliciting feedback. Consider collaborating with influencers or online communities in your niche to amplify your reach and attract more readers to your article.

Monitoring Performance and Feedback

Once your article is live, keep a close eye on its performance and feedback. Track analytics data such as page views, engagement metrics, and conversion rates to gauge the success of your article. Pay attention to reader comments and reactions, and use them as valuable insights for future articles. Iterate and improve based on the feedback you receive, continuously striving to refine your writing and better serve your audience.

Conclusion

Mastering the art of article writing is a journey, not a destination. By following the strategies outlined in this guide, you can hone your craft and create articles that resonate with your audience and make a lasting impact. Remember to always put your readers first, and strive to deliver valuable, engaging content that informs, entertains, and inspires. With practice, persistence, and a commitment to continuous improvement, you can become the best article writer capable of captivating audiences and achieving your goals.

Unlock Your Potential: Become an Exceptional Article Writer Today!

[selinakidreams]

suck: Bokuto Koutarou

big boy bo is most definitely into tongue sucking this is something you may not fight me on,, and as you can tell from the title,,, this man likes having it done to him,, again, will not be taking arguments on this :D

genre: smut

warnings: more tongue sucking brrrr, foreplay, uhh slight fem!dom?, non-penetrative sex, praise kink, size kink if you squint

masterlist for suck or be sucked is here!

“You know Ko.. watching you at practice… you do a lot with your body…?” you trail off, eyes racking over your boyfriend's slouched frame. You knew you phrased it- quite literally- all wrong and incredibly awkward. It came out more as a question than a seductive statement- You couldn’t help it though, the sight in front of you made your brain shut down.

Partially lit up by the changing scenes of the television, Bokuto Koutaro was sinking into the cushions of the couch, arm slung over the back of the sofa in nothing but his boxer briefs and a t-shirt he swore wasn’t too tight for him. Even when relaxed, you could see the tone of his muscles- each and every outline through his clothes.

“Uhh yea! I have to use my body with full force to spike the ball over the net and land that point. I can’t just use my arm.” He awkwardly chuckles.

You two had just come back from Bokuto’s MSBY practice and the whole time you were practically trying to keep yourself from salivating. To say you were a fan of his body would be stating an understatement.

“Baby,” you tried again, shifting towards him so that you were sitting on your calves, hands placed on the top of your thighs. The movement and new position drew all of Bokuto’s attention to you; not one wavering glance to the tv.

You couldn’t tell if he figured out what you were trying to get at but you pressed on anyway.

“I-,” the pressure was on. When Bo’s full attention was on you, face as curious and innocent as can be, it was even harder to get out what you wanted to say, much less string two coherent thoughts together.

He softly spoke your name before saying, “whatever it is you want to say, take your time. I can wait.”

What threw you off was the mischievous glint in his eyes.

So he did know what was going on. This made things a lot easier.

“Kōtarō, come here.”

He didn’t hesitate. Always your attentive boy, and he prides himself on that.

Bokuto loves it when you get like this, when you take control and do as you please. He is the kind of partner that gets off on knowing that you’re enjoying yourself and from the looks of it, you have a plan. He’s in for a treat.

You let your hands wander his body, touch as light as a feather over his intricate muscles.

“Fuck…,” You relish the way he leans into your touch. “Watching you practice.. god I wanted you to fuck me right in the bleachers… but for right now.. we’re gonna do something a little different.”

Bokuto’s face was a mere centimeters away from yours, his lips ghosting your own. He responded in a whisper as he leaned in, “And what would that be, doll?”

Instead of fully pulling away, you moved to straddle his lap; giggles dancing out of your mouth as he looked up at you with those wide golden eyes. With the new found pressure applied on the bulge in his pants, putting on the innocent facade was getting harder and harder for him.

It started off at his ear, you lightly licked the shell before going down to nibble on his earlobe; a low grunt signaling it was time for you to move to the next area: the neck.

As you nip and suck at the speeding pulse, your hands went to his pecs where you kneaded his chest and drew soft outlines around his nipples. They hardened instantly, his quiet panting became only heavier with the start of him rutting onto you to relieve some friction.

Bokuto went to pull you in for a feverish kiss, but you stopped it, putting a single finger over his readying lips.

“No no Ko, let me do all the work. I’m sure that you have to be tired from practicing for so long and I just wanna make… you.. feel good.” You teasingly taunted ever so close to his lips.

Bokuto let out a delicious moan that riled something in you, it drove you to completely skip the original ide of teasing him for far too long and just get to the best part.

You slunk off of his lap and onto your knees- you didn’t want to completely rid all teasing though, just keeping it where it counts. Your hand ghosted over his throbbing cock to reach for the waistband of his shorts, feeling the slight twitch. You didn’t pull them down completely, but with his help, just enough to have his dick spring free and greet you, head shining with beads of pre-cum.

So pretty, you thought before making eye contact with Bo while lowering yourself closer to his cock.

Not breaking the gaze was easy for you, you basked in his squirms. Plus, watching those facial expressions contort was a huge bonus.

Kitten licking the tip, you hummed at the taste, shifting to lick a fat stripe along the thick vein curving up his shaft.

“I can’t ever get enough of your dick- fuck .. look at how pretty it is.. waiting for me to give it all the attention its begging for..” you moan, all your fingers going from the base trailing up to his head and repeating the motion as you began a trail of kisses from his pelvis up. A breathy whimper left his lips, making you smile mid kiss.

Bokuto would try and thrust into your hand but you made no effort into actually relieving him, continually repeating the same action.

“Baby please-“ he managed to choke out before lying back into the couch.

“Shh Ko... you’re so defined and toned.. mmm fuck you’re so sexy,” your lips hover over his abs right before you lick a thick stripe up to his pecks.

“H-ah… ngh- y/n please,” bokuto huffed again; each beg, huff, whine, and plea went straight to your core- but this wasn’t about you, not just yet.

You took one of his nipples in your mouth, twirling your tongue around it; your other hand came to tease the neglected one, leaving his dick unattended and angrier than before.

“s-sh-it,” he gasped.

A soft chuckle waved through you, entertaining the hardened buds a little longer before switching tactics.

You pulled off his pecs and stood up, admiring the disheveled veiw of your boyfriend. There in front of you was your big mighty man reduced to a needy boy who’s dick was crying against his pelvis. You almost felt bad.

As your smirk grew, you went to straddle his legs again, but this time you strategically maneuvered his member into your panties, placing him in between your lips.

Bo salivated at the new position, you were so wet for him; lubed him up so quick.

“Ko.. there’s one rule to this position if you want to cum..” you breathed out, “you don’t get to put it in me until I say so.”

To this, his jaw fell slack but he didn’t have time to process anything because next thing he knew, your hot puffy lips met with his in a sloppy kiss. He followed in hot pursuit as he delve deeper into the kiss with full thrusts along the entirety of your pussy, brushing your clit with each go.

Your breathing became ragged, “Kōtarō! Ah! Baby- f-UCK!” All of your moans were swallowed by his grunts. His body was so big, when he wrapped his arms around your waist, you felt so small against him. It only made you want to be even more dominant.

His tongue went into your mouth and you took that opportunity to mesh both of your damp muscles before pulling away slightly and giving yourself leverage to wrap your lips around his tongue. Almost instantly he froze, stopping all movements.

This was new.

His reaction caused you to pause but the moan he let out signaled you to continue sucking all the way to the tip before pulling off and looking into Bokuto’s eyes. They were full of shock, but a different shade. A darker shade.

“Did Ko like it when I sucked his tongue?” You cooed. You didn’t miss the twitch of his cock against you yet, he stayed unmoving, still trying to process the wave of pleasure that ran through him.

Slowly with a roll of his hip, soliciting a low moan from you, you saw that he stuck his tongue out again. He wanted you to take it.

Your excited giggle fills the room and you have a quick lick to his before grinding down on him and taking in his wet muscle again, this time sucking a little harder.

When you let off with a muted pop, he said in such a low tone that you felt it through your chest all the way down to the pooling heat right above Bokuto’s cock, “Alright puppy,” as he spoke, he pet the top of your hair before sliding his hand around your neck in one swift motion, “time for me to cum and I want you to lap up every single drop.”

—-

tags: @twilightwrites

[littlx-songbxrd]

Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

[isa-ghost]

JSE Renaissance Week - Day 4

Day 4 (June 28th): Artist’s/Writer’s day. Do you have favorite pieces of fanart, an edit, or a fic that you or someone else has created? Reblog that sh*t with a comment saying how much you love it– it’ll probably make someone’s day! Bonus points if you create something for this. Extra bonus points if it’s a collaboration with another community member!

BOLD OF YOU ALL TO ASSUME I HAVE ANY EGO ART I’VE CREATED THAT I STILL FEEL OKAY POSTING. I’VE IMPROVED SINCE THEN AND IT IS NASTY. EGO ART COMING MAYBE EVENTUALLY.

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I USED TO MAKE EGO ART. ONLY OG FOLLOWERS WILL REMEMBER THAT SHIT. PLEASE DON’T GO LOOKING FOR IT, I DON’T LIKE MY OLD ART.

Until then I scream like a moron about my favorite creators, some of which have actually moved on from the JSEC but I love them anyway so they can fight me in a dark alley for having the audacity to love them.

*BIG GAY INHALE*

@turquoisemagpie. YOU ABSOLUTE TRADITIONAL ART WIZARD. MY GOD. Your art style has me head over heels all over again with every piece you post. You’re where like- 14 year old me wanted her art to be. You are so insanely talented, your style is amazing, your range is mindblowing, and I cherish the commission of my infamous Bunker Trouble Trio SO MUCH. It was my laptop’s wallpaper for probably over a year. If I hear your commissions are open, I will be HEAVILY considering coming back. I could write an entire post just gushing about how much I love your art. Always keep creating, even what you might think is your worst or less than your usual quality would more than likely be something I’m still working my way up to. You are the DEFINITION of goals. <3

@septic-dr-schneep. WHERE DO I START. Hyperfixation or no hyperfixation, your work ethic is INSANE. I can’t BELIEVE how much you crank out in one hour let alone one day. Even if that’s slowed since before my little Tumblr break, you still blow my mind. I feel drained of creative juices just managing out one long piece for my OCs! Keeping track of a whole series of blurbs, defining canon and not within those, and coming up with a coherent story through each blurb, BASED OFF REQUEST PROMPTS FROM RANDOM PEOPLE? That’s AMAZING. I admire that passion you have so much, and even your breaks and burnouts don’t stop you. I LOVE that!

@lum1natriix. GOD where do I start with your gifs. JSE or other content, they are STUNNING. They’re such smoothly moving, high quality. You put so much work into them and it SHOWS, and I don’t even know where you would Start with making one, it’s always sounded like a Big Process, but your finished products look so awesome! No matter what you make gifs (or edits) of nowadays, I still adore your work. :)

@huffletrax. YOUR ART STYLE IS ADORABLE. It’s so squishy and fun and your coloring is IMMACULATE. And I love that despite your cute, round style, you still really pull off those angsty doodles you make occasionally. >:D You have a range and I’ve loved watching your improvement from the time I was new on Tumblr up to now. Keep going!!

@huffle-dork. I hope this doesn’t count as a mass post because BOY YOU DESERVE SOME APPRECIATION. You have crazy talent, both in your characters AND BACKGROUNDS. MY GOD DUDE, YOUR BACKGROUNDS. Even the ones that are just maybe a swoosh of colors look BEAUTIFUL. Dare I say they’re print worthy all on their own! I love the way you color things, and your style has such range too! Sometimes I can see similarities in my art to yours, and that’s been such a helpful way of keeping my motivation to keep improving up. I admire your art so much, and I love your Subnautica Egos series. <3

@d-structive. GOALS. JUST- GOALS. AGH. I love your style range so much! Your usual squareish stuff, your chibi stuff, your silly shitpost style (dare I callback to the buff ballerina Jameson,,,). All of it!! There’s just something so fun and fluid about it, yet its so square and neatly sharp at the same time! You balance those sorts of elements so well in your art, and I really love your ego designs too. <3 You probably have one of the most easily identifiable Marvin designs in the community, and he’s a little sneaky bastard man. >:D

@spunketpunk. BRUH DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING CAUSE LIKE. WOW. Your COLORING. Your art POPS and its so fucking cool. I love neon and saturated colors and its so rare to find artists who do (at least in my experience) and that’s something that seems like a huge part of your medium and I LOVE THAT. It makes your art insanely unique, and I love the aesthetic of those colors combined with your usually sketchy, messy lineart. Just- *chef’s kiss.* Your originality is fantastic, never lose that no matter what you explore. <3

@dumbthinmint. HEY WHAT’S UP LENGTHY SUPER DEVELOPED AU MAKER BUDDY?? LIKE HOLY SHIT DUDE. The lengths you go research and lore-wise for your AU? BRUUHHH. *slams hands on table* INSANE. And the way you make theory posts IN REFERENCE TO IT? That makes your theorizing stuff SO UNIQUE, I love it! Even when I feel like I can’t push my Ego AU lore with my friends too much further, you’re out here constantly dropping BOMBS of lore and honestly that makes my personal motivation with my own stuff soar right back up. I LOVE watching your AU unfold and progress, and your dedication to it is stunning. :D

There’s so many other artists, writers, editors & more I could tag but I don’t want this post getting 53826 miles long. :’D Just know that if any of you create things and I follow you, I think you’re doing great, I admire your stuff, and I hope you keep it up, no matter if its JSE related or not. <3

[team-cap-for-the-win]

Let's talk about Steve Rogers, his journey in the MCU, and what changes I would make to maintain narrative coherence

Warning: long post, brief mentions of war, PTSD and depression

Just want to put a little disclaimer that this is in no way me declaring the definitve way it should have gone. Just giving some personal pointers and tweaks that I believe would make for a more compelling and satisfying story.

Let's start off with The First Avenger. This movie is fine, it does well with establishing Steve as a character, and hits emotional beats. Here's my hot take on the first Cap movie though (and what could have been in the later installments).

(I know, I know, these movies were meant for general audiences, but hear me out.)

If it had focused more on the horrors of war and how it destroys people, how the atrocities comitted forever changed soldiers' psyches... It could have had a pretty strong anti-war message.

Steve's story could have been a real metaphor for how young soldiers become so alienated from their former life that they feel like they cannot return home anymore. How war had taken everything from them, their youth, their future, their friends. When I watch the ending and Steve finds himself in the future, it's like he's in an alien world.

And he can't. Go. Back. He'll never be able to go back. He can only go forward. But how do you live in a world that feels strange and foreign to you, in a world that doesn't need WW2 soldiers anymore? How do you live in a world where you do not belong? Of course this would have required more turmoil on Steve's end. Surely he had seen (and maybe done...) terrible things that would cause him to have PTSD, or he could have clinical depression from his ordeals instead.

Now, the MCU does drop hints that Steve's not okay, but it doesn't go very far. It wouldn't need to be shown too much, but at the very least there could be scenes of positive coping mechanisms - like seeing a therapist, for an instance. That would make for good rep for mental ilness; while there could be some ugly bits shown too, because that comes with it, it is important to hammer home that it isn't something that defines Steve and he can put effort into living better.

(Here I shall take a moment to note: we were so close to getting more stuff like this in the movies. For instance, there's a bunch of deleted scenes from the first Avengers movie which whow how lost and sad Steve really is. Winter Soldier very subtly points to the direction that Steve isn't happy and doesn't know how to achieve happiness. And another instance I can think of is in the beginning of Civil War, where Crossbones brings up Bucky and Steve freezes up. If that was framed differently, it could put another layer to the entire conflict...)

Once again, all this would make a for a great story of recovery and healing, as Steve adapts to his new life and finds friends and love again.

Another thing to factor in is Bucky: a ghost from Steve's past. If we had gotten Serpent Society, we could have got a lot more content regarding their relarionship. In my humble opinion, it would have been really good if Steve had to accept that the old Bucky was no more, but that it's not necessarily a bad thing. Likewise, the old Steve is gone too. But they can make it work. And start over.

Ultimately, he would not return to the past, because that's something he was forced to leave behind. He can only go forward, remember? That's what all of us can do. All of the stuff that I've mentioned leads to the conclusion that for his story to make narrative sense, he would stay in the present.

Which brings the big question. How do you gently scoop him out of the MCU after Endgame without killing him off?

I considered two options:

Somewhere along the way, he gets deserumed, and while he can't really do field work anymore, he's still a strategic genius and he can do a lot to help out others. He chooses to live, and his life is something he gets to experience off screen. Bonus if he starts dating Sharon.

Much like the first option, but he stays as he is. He decides to live, and maybe goes on a soul-searching journey before figuring out what comes next, gets together with Sharon - once again, this can be left wide open, and we as the audience let him experience his life on his own.

Of course; this creates some issues. For one, Steve is a person that doesn't quit fighting for others. And two, it would be difficult to explain his absence in the future Marvel movies.

But all of that could be technically shoved to the sidelines as the new characters come into focus, and we, as the audience, suspend our disbelief in favour of narrative completion. If we can do that for characters like Bruce Banner, why not Steve?

And hey, I never said he has to disappear completely. He can still be mentioned, working for SHIELD, or maybe even have cameos if Cevans was up for that.

If the story was structured this way, I believe it would be more hopeful and powerful. Even lost, battered souls like Steve can find their way again with the help of others. Back away from the edge and enjoy life... live.

And I think that would be beautiful.

TLDR; Marvel let me rewrite the MCU because I think doing it somewhat this way could have improved the narrative coherence of Steve's story and give a more sarisfying conclusion to this character.

[phatphrog]

Zuko would be a Gryffindor and no, you can’t change my mind.

helloooo tumblr. I’m back from my lil hiatus- for now ;) but most importantly, I offer you this as I crawl out of my cave:

so, brief intro. This is based off of my original comments on Pinterest (pictured above), but hopefully written to be a bit more coherent. That comment section had some intense debates, but it was fun seeing everyone’s takes, so I thought I’d bring it over here. I saw lot of people on the Zuko=Slytherin side but, as you can see, I have some strong opinions to the contrary. You guys don’t know this about me but I was obsessed with Harry Potter for a longgg time. I may not be as actively into it now, but once a Potterhead always a Potterhead. That being said- this is all for fun! Reblog/comment your thoughts. What do you think the characters houses would be- let me know :)

Mm yes delicious literary parallels- the stories and characters of Zuko and Sirius Black mirror each other in a lot of ways. That shared angst? Family trauma? Yessir. (And bonus points for being considered heartthrobs haha) If we’re translating Zuko’s story to the HP universe, him having a similar situation to Sirius would make total sense from a literary standpoint. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Sirius Black is from a long prestigious line of pure bloods. (All wizard ancestry). His family is well off and highly respected, in *certain* circles. Most notably though, they’re all Slytherins. It’s a huge part of their identity- they pride themselves heavily on carrying on the tradition of both being a Slytherin and more or less being part of the bad guys. No one really can choose otherwise. Sirius however, gets sorted into Gryffindor, and allies with people that stand for the complete opposite of what his family believes in. He ends up fighting against his own family in order to help defeat Voldemort. Sirius is literally burned off of the family tree tapestry- he’s an outcast, a disgrace to his own family. Sound familiar? Zuko being sorted into Gryffindor while his whole family had always been Slytherins (Azula would 100% be top off her class in Slytherin), having to grow from their bigotry, struggling with his identity and being shunned from his family, and eventually joining the good guys? Yeah, that adds up. Take out the Hogwarts houses and that’s basically his story already. 

Honor!!! Okay, this ones pretty short. Basically, Zuko’s actions mostly come from a place of wanting to do the right thing and honor. (Granted, what he did in Seasons 1-2 wasn’t the right thing, but he thought it was at the time). Just the idea of being obsessed with honor (again, the Fire Nations idea of honor is warped but let’s think of it as it’s neutral meaning here- think of chivalry, good reputation, respect, etc) of is more of a Gryffindor thing to me, and again, trying to do the right thing is very much a Gryffindor trait.

Determination aka one of the main Gryffindor traits. Bravery, determination, passion, all define a Gryffindor. Passion is pretty self explanatory, Zuko’s a passionate person, period. Bravery we’ll get to in the next bullet. You cannot tell me my man Zuko is not determined. Some argue that much of his actions were out of ambition, which I’ll get to later, but the way he goes about all of his tasks (capturing the avatar, joining the Gaang, getting Katara to forgive him) is very much Gryffindor. He simply does not give up. He keeps going forward, no matter what- no matter the difficulties, Zuko will keep going. He’s determined, always.

Brave, brash, and a not so small sprinkle of self-sacrifice In their constant efforts to do the right thing, Gryffindors often act recklessly, simply crashing forward in earnestness to do the right thing, to save the day, etc. This is very much Zuko. I love him, but let’s be honest, he can be a bit dumb at times. He’s very brash and can get caught up in the moment. He tends to just run ahead, often acting without thinking, except maybe about his end goal. Not to mention, he’s incredibly brave. I could use countless examples, but the first ones that come to the mind are the Agni Kai with Azula, and leaving to join the Gaang during the eclipse. Zuko literally throws himself in front of lightning for someone. Without a second thought, he sacrifices his own life for someone else. Now if that isn’t reckless Gryffindor bravery in its purest form, I don’t know what is. Zuko leaves behind his throne, his family, girlfriend, honor, home, everything, with the very real possibility of never returning, to join the Gaang. He leaves it all behind, to do the right thing. That is most definitely not a Slytherin move. Maybe he could act as a double agent, giving information to the Gaang while retaining his throne, if he was Slytherin, but that blind all or nothing sacrifice for the greater good is simply out of character for a Slytherin. Not to say they’re evil by any means, but they’re cunning. Your average Slytherin just wants to ensure their well being, and is clever about doing so.

Ambition & Cunning (or not really) One of the most popular arguments for Zuko being a Slytherin is that his quest to capture Aang, was done out of ambition. I would argue that yes, he was ambitious in pursuit of the Avatar, but ultimately his actions were not fueled out of self interest, but for acceptance from his father. He wants to be welcomed back home, he wants love and acceptance. Secondly, Zuko really isn’t that cunning. See all of the above points for more evidence, but he’s simply not. He thunders ahead without a second thought. He doesn’t achieve his goals through meticulous planning, or manipulation and deceitful actions, he just goes for it. Let’s look at Azula, who I think we can all agree is a Slytherin through and through. Many of her most valued traits by Ozai, what makes her so formidable, and what Zuko tries again and again to be more like, are in turn her most Slytherin-esque traits. Azula is the definition of cunning and calculated. She plans every step. She analyzes her enemies weaknesses, their strengths. She’s incredibly powerful, but she doesn’t go full force all the time, she’s meticulous in when and how to use that power. Try as he might, Zuko can never be like her. It just isn’t in his nature. He’s not calculating or manipulative, he’s painfully brash, passionate, and straight forward. Take season 2 episode 8, “The Chase.” While Aang is fighting with Azula and Zuko, he gets to the second story of a building via airbending that doesn’t have a floor. In pursuit of him, Azula almost falls through, but quickly realizes and deftly jumps off to the side. Shortly after, Zuko runs through with a determined yell, but doesn’t notice and crashes straight down. This, is the perfect example of them as characters and their dynamic. Azula, always on guard and calculating, Zuko, full steam ahead, all passion and bravery, no hesitation.

Not everyone’s a hero! A common misconception is that Slytherins are the bad guys while Gryffindors are the good guys. I’ve seen this argument as evidence for Zuko being a Slytherin- he wasn’t a hero for most of the story, so he can’t possibly be a Gryffindor. First of all, Zuko has never truly been evil. He’s constantly had the conflicting ideas of good and evil, i.e- Roku and Sozin, within in him; it just takes a long and difficult journey to become a hero. And again, his actions were fueled not by selfish intent, but by a need for acceptance, and that’s all he knew. By merely going through that incredibly painful journey of growth, he ultimately proves his bravery even more, and his determination. He went through all that hardship, but kept going, kept fighting, and came out a good person in the end. I want to stress this point though- not all Gryffindors are these dashing heroes, especially not straight away. Look at Colin Creevey or Neville Longbottom- both Gryffindors, and both untraditional heroes. Sure, they were never ‘evil’, but they did start off unassuming, anxious, and awkward. Many, including themselves, doubted their status as Gryffindors, but by the end of the series through their growth and hard work, ended up proving themselves as the heroes they always had been, even if they didn’t know it. Heroism comes in many different forms and from many different places.

I could probably go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. Let me know what you think! I’m very much team Zuko=Gryffindor obviously, but I’m not sure about the other characters. I’d love to hear everyone’s ideas or takes on my argument :)

[kemetic-dreams]

In my research I learned that the word comes from tribus in Latin. Its earliest usage was in the time of the Roman empire where there were three original tribes, but more were added to organize the voting system.  At first, tribe may have been related to ethnicity, but as more were added, it became about geographical location, rather than kinship.   Tribe was a territorial voting unit in the Roman state. I've seen the word used to talk about Celtic and Germanic histories. It also became associated with the Hebrew people of the Torah and Bible. You must have heard of the 12 Tribes of Israel. The connotations evolved, and the problems with it began when it got into the hands of anthropologists. (Ironically, I have a degree in anthropology and I think it's a fascinating discipline; Good thing my favorite anthro professor back in my university days wisely recommended that we understand the controversies around the term.)

Truth be told, it offends many people. Here's why:

#1 For European missionaries and explorers who went out to conquer people, the word "tribal" was synonymous to "savage" and "primitive." It's mainstream connotation is rooted in colonial-era racist ideology. The word immediately conjures stereotypical imagery of brown people with bones in their noses or naked warriors running around in a rainforest

That “tribal” word

by

Chika Oduah

I cringe whenever I see that word in a news article. And I see it so often in journalese. Stories about developing countries often feature phrases like tribal healer, tribal land, tribal conflict, tribesmen, tribal chief, tribal wear, tribal name, tribal rhythm. The word is so problematic, I don't even know where to begin. I will suggest this - get some education on its history.

The Myth of the Noble Savage

The word plays into a historic imagination that classifies indigenous people outside of Europe into two categories of savages: the noble savage and the brutal savage. That leads me to number two.

The bottom-line problem with the idea of tribe is that it is intellectually lazy.

#2 Societies are constantly changing. No matter where you go, you're bound to see it. Technology, the spread of ideas, education, globalization, all of these elements contribute to sociocultural changes. But the word "tribal" freezes societies in a primordial past (real or imagined) where people wore animal skins and ran with wolves. I think it's hard for many people in the Western world to accept that societies in Africa (in other developing regions around the world) are dynamic. It's hard for some to grasp concepts of modernity in such places.   Even the most remote, far flung communities are not the same today as they were just 20 years ago.

The tribe, a long respected category of analysis in anthropology, has recently been the object of some scrutiny by anthropologists ... Doubts about the utility of the tribe as an analytical category have almost certainly arisen out of the rapid involvement of peoples, even in the remotest parts of the globe, in political, economic and sometimes direct social relationship with industrial nations. The doubts, however, are based ultimately on the definition and meaning which different scholars give to the term 'tribe', its adjective 'tribal', and its abstract form 'tribalism' ~ Dr. James Clyde Mitchell

Westerners have romanticized certain ethnic groups, like the Maasai in eastern Africa, because they have this romantic idea that the Maasai people are living the exact same way as their ancestors did. Untouched by modernity. But that's simply not true. And where does this desperate need to have ethnic groups permanently living in primordial or precolonial states come from? Is the "primitive," noble savage look more marketable for tourism? That leads me to number three.

#3 The relentless attempt to cast Africans are primitive, unchanging people relates to another popular notion that the past, when there was no internet, airplanes or sliced bread, was more peaceful, more pure and less complicated than modern times. The problem with that is that it pushes an identity (based on a misconstrued premise) on other people. It's someone from the West saying I want the kind of African who lives in a thatch-roofed hut in a village in Niamey, not the African who lives in a  brick home in a Harare suburb.  Africans are constantly being defined by the Western world, submitting to the names and descriptions put upon them. In my favorite work by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun, the character Odenigbo says, "But my point is that the only authentic identity for the African is the tribe...I am Nigerian because a white man created Nigeria and gave me that identity. I am black because the white man constructed black to be as different as possible from his white. But I was Igbo before the white man came.” (I'll talk about Africans using the word tribe further down!).

In the Americas, Africa, Australia, and elsewhere, colonial administrators applied these terms [tribe and band] to specific groups almost immediately upon contact. ~Encyclopedia Brittanica

#4 The word "tribal" distorts reality because it leads to misguided ideas of what is authentic and what is not. This is when a Westerner, looking at a picture of expensive cars parked at a chic hotel in Accra, says "this is not the real Africa." I hear the comment very often because there's this prevailing perception that the real Africa is "tribal." Its stick, bones, dirt and chiefs draped in leopard print. Anything outside of that, according to that line of thought, has been touched (contaminated, even) by the Western world, therefore is inauthentic. Again, it's that insistence on denying dynamism, that change happens. And that prerequisite applies to people, too. The African woman who graduated from Harvard Business School, works as a bank executive and wears Chanel suits is not a real African. The woman chopping firewood with a naked baby on her back is and gets bonus points for authenticity if the child has flies swarming around the face.

Over to You, Is the Word 'Tribe' Offensive? - BBC World Service

#4 For peoples who experienced oppression, suppression or marginalization from European colonizers or their descendants, the word "tribe" triggers memories of a traumatic past.  This is especially true of Native Americans, also called the First Nations. (I remember learning about the Trail of Tears in elementary school and feeling quite sad about it.)  Thousands of Native Americans were brutally uprooted from their ancestral lands when Europeans and their descendants decided to forcibly expand their presence in the Americas. Today, the U.S. government still officially uses the word "tribes" to refer to Native Americans, but I have read that they prefer to be called "nations" or "people."

#5 There's also this thing with numbers. British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, originator of the Dunbar's number theory, said that 500 - 1,500 people (who follow their ancestral culture, beliefs of unity, laws, and rights; are self-sufficient and have strong emotion towards their lands) can be classified as a one tribe. Those are pretty much the same numbers that other nineteenth century anthropologists used, defining a tribe as a human society made up of several bands. A band was a small, egalitarian, kin-based group of perhaps 10–50 people. So when you're looking at the large ethnic groups in Africa today, some numbering millions, they can't be described as tribes.

Tribe has no coherent meaning. What is a tribe? The Zulu in South Africa, whose name and common identity was forged by the creation of a powerful state less than two centuries ago, and who are a bigger group than French Canadians, are called a tribe. So are the !Kung hunter-gatherers of Botswana and Namibia, who number in the hundreds. The term is applied to Kenya's Maasai herders and Kikuyu farmers, and to members of these groups in cities and towns when they go there to live and work.

Tribe is used for millions of Yoruba in Nigeria and Benin, who share a language but have an eight-hundred year history of multiple and sometimes warring city-states, and of religious diversity even within the same extended families. Tribe is used for Hutu and Tutsi in the central African countries of Rwanda and Burundi. Yet the two societies (and regions within them) have different histories. And in each one, Hutu and Tutsi lived interspersed in the same territory. They spoke the same language, married each other, and shared virtually all aspects of culture. At no point in history could the distinction be defined by distinct territories, one of the key assumptions built into "tribe." ~Pambazuka News

Zambia is slightly larger than Texas. The country has approximately 10 million inhabitants and a rich cultural diversity. English is the official language, but Zambia also boasts 73 different indigenous languages. While there are many indigenous Zambian words that translate into "nation," "people," "clan," "language," "foreigner," "village" or "community," there are none that easily translate into "tribe." Sorting Zambians into a fixed number of "tribes" was a byproduct of British colonial rule over Northern Rhodesia (as Zambia was known prior to independence in 1964).

#6 In anthropological theories of social evolution, "tribe" is lower than "civilization." After studying early cultures in Central and South America, American neo-evolutionary cultural anthropologist Elman Rogers Service devised an influential categorization scheme for the political character of human social structures: band, tribe, chiefdom and state.

A band is the smallest unit of political organization, consisting of only a few families and no formal leadership positions. Tribes have larger populations but are organized around family ties and have fluid or shifting systems of temporary leadership. Chiefdoms are large political units in which the chief, who usually is determined by heredity, holds a formal position of power. States are the most complex form of political organization and are characterized by a central government that has a monopoly over legitimate uses of physical force, a sizeable bureaucracy, a system of formal laws, and a standing military force.

With this understanding, again, many of the large ethnic groups in Africa's modern nation states cannot be called tribes.

But... a lot of Africans use "tribe" to describe themselves. The word is taught in schools across African countries, because the secular educational system was largely created by Westerners. That's the basis of the ongoing  "decolonize education" campaign in South Africa. Check this out: When Africans learn English, they are often taught that "tribe" is the term that English-speakers will recognize. But what underlying meaning in their own languages are Africans translating when they say "tribe"? In English, writers often refer to the Zulu tribe, whereas in Zulu the word for the Zulu as a group is isizwe. Zulu linguists translate isizwe as "nation" or "people." Isizwe refers both to the multi-ethnic South African nation and to ethno-national peoples that form a part of the multi-ethnic nation. When Africans use the word "tribe" in general conversation, they do not draw on the negative connotations of primitivism the word has in Western countries.

But there has been a decades-long push by many African scholars and media professionals to get media outlets, textbooks and academia to stop using "tribe" and "tribal." Some have addressed their concerns to The New York Times, among other news publications.  Here's how Bill Keller, New York Times' Pulitzer Prize-winning executive editor from 2003 to 2011 responded:

"I get it. Anyone who uses the word "tribe" is a racist. [. . .] It's a tediously familiar mantra in the Western community of Africa scholars. In my experience, most Africans who live outside the comforts of academia (and who use the word "tribe" with shameless disregard for the political sensitivities of American academics) have more important concerns."

The logic here is, since the real Africans are using the word themselves, then what's the big deal? Well, for all the reasons I just presented and more. And recently we're seeing a wave of companies and organizations come out to announce that they will not longer use "tribe" and "tribal." The New York Times is now using "ethnic group" and "ethnic." (I have issues with ethnic. At a Walmart, I noticed that the aisle for hair products tailored to people of African descent was the "ethnic hair" aisle; that's literally what the sign said). These entities may have been motivated by political correctness or could be trying to save face. I don't know. I know that, what to do about the tribe/tribal word is a conversation that matters.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Hoo U?

A spirited discussion is raging on Facebook now, the good kind of spirited discussion, an enthusiastic exchange of ideas and ideals, not a snark fest.

The top is a deceptively simple one:  Who are the characters various actors played?

Let me clarify:   It began as a trivia challenge to name actors who have won Oscars for playing the same character.

And there in lays the debate.

How exactly are we defining a character.

This all sounds trivial, and to be frank this part of the discussion is, but it’s gonna get deep by the end.  

Trust me.

So here��s the kickoff:

Marlon Brando won a Best Male Performance Oscar for playing Vito Corleone in The Godfather; Robert DeNiro won a Best Male Supporting Performance Oscar for playing Vito Corleone in The Godfather II

Heath Ledger won a Best Male Supporting Performance Oscar for playing the Joker in The Dark Knight; Joaquin Phoenix won a Best Male Performance Oscar for playing the Joker in Joker.

(Trivia bonus: Kate Winslet and Gloria Stuart received Oscar nominations for playing the same character at different stages of her life in Titanic, and Winslet and Judi Dench were both nominated for playing the same character at different stages in Iris as well; plus Peter O’Toole was nominated twice for playing Henry II in Beckett and The Lion In Winter which technically counts as a sequel…)

The Facebook debate is over whether Ledger and Phoenix were actually playing the same character.

Now in the case of the former, The Godfather II is a continuation of the same story in The Godfather by the same creative team with much of the original cast reprising their roles, the Oscars going to two actors who played the same character at different stages of their life (BTW, where's the love for Oreste Baldini, who played Vito as a young boy?).

The two films were re-edited and combined with The Godfather III to make a nine-hour and 43-minute miniseries The Godfather Trilogy.

It is clear the creators’ intent from the beginning was for audiences to accept Baldini / DeNiro / Brando as the same person at various stages of his life.

The Ledger Joker and the Phoenix Joker cannot possibly be the same character for a wide variety of internal continuity issues separating the two films.  The creators of Joker went out of their way to state their version of the character was not The Dark Knight version.

Unlike The Godfather movies, you can’t link up the various live action Batman / Suicide Squad / Joker stories into a single coherent narrative (especially since you have to drag in the live action Supeman and Wonder Woman movies and TV shows as well).

. . .

Can different actors play their version of the same character in otherwise unlinked productions?

Of course they can.

Stage plays do it all the time.

If you start with the same exact text, then clearly any number of actors can play Hamlet or MacBeth or Willy Loman.

The problems arise when one goes afield of the text.

. . . 

In 1932 Constance Bennett made a movie called What Price Hollywood? that did okay but really didn’t set the world on fire.

In 1937 Janet Gaynor remade that film as A Star Is Born, the story changed to give it a tragic yet uplifting conclusion; her version was a big hit and Gaynor received an Oscar nomination.

In 1954 Judy Garland remade A Star is Born as a musical and that proved a big hit, and Garland received an Oscar nomination.

In 1976 Barbara Streisand took a swing at the material with a country-western version of A Star Is Born and while she got an Oscar nomination, audiences were unreceptive.

In 2018 Lady Gaga remade A Star Is Born and received both an Oscar nomination for her role and an Oscar win for her song.

Question: Are they all playing the same character?  Each played a character that started their film with a different name than the other versions, but the Gaynor / Garland / Streisand / Gaga versions all end with the central character proudly proclaiming they are “Mrs. Norman Maine.”

Same character?

. . .

There’s no argument that William Gillette, Basil Rathbone, and Benedict Cumberbatch all played Sherlock Holmes, even when their productions took certain liberties with the stories.

But Sherlock Holmes is not an idiot, and Michael Caine played Holmes as an idiot in Without A Clue.

Was he playing the same character as Gillette / Rathbone / Cumberbatch?

(Ironically Peter Cook played a very recognizable and wholly credible Holmes in his farcical send up of The Hound Of The Baskervilles with Dudley Moore.)

Did George C. Scott play Holmes in They Might Be Giants?  Almost everybody else in the story thinks he’s a New York banker who’s suffered a nervous breakdown and only thinks he’s Holmes, but Scott believes he is Holmes 100% and throughout the film other people he encounters accept him as Holmes at face values.

He functions as Holmes throughout.

And in the end, the audience is left in a weird place, not really knowing what his fate may be, not absolutely sure if he is a bonkers banker but maybe…somehow…he is Sherlock Holmes…

. . . 

Did John Cassavettes in Tempest and Walter Pidgeon in Forbidden Planet play the same character?  Were either of those roles Shakespeare’s Prospero?

Did Christopher Lee play the same character in Horror Of Dracula and its sequels, in Count Dracula, and in In Search Of Dracula?   (The producers of Count Dracula sure went to great pains to explain their version was a different and more accurate version than the Hammer version of the character, and In Search Of Dracula cast Lee as Vlad Tepes who was the real life historical figure Bram Stoker based his novel on.)

For that matter, is Count Orlok in Nosferatu:  A Symphony Of Terror actually Dracula?  A European court awarding lawsuit damages to Bram Stoker's widow sure thought so.

Along similar lines, was Bela Lugosi playing Dracula in Columbia's Return Of The Vampire? Universal's lawyers sure thought so.

Did Jim Caviezel in Passion Of The Christ, Max von Sydow in The Greatest Story Ever Told, Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, and Michael Rennie in The Day The Earth Stood Still all play the same character?

Did Toshiro Mifune, Clint Eastwood, and Bruce Willis all play the Continental Op?

Did Clint Eastwood play the same character in all three Dollar films?

Did Vincent Price, Charlton Heston, and Will Smith all play the same character?

Did Leonardo DiCaprio play the same character Steve McQueen played in The Great Escape (even if just for one brief scene) or did he play a character who played a character Steve McQueen played in The Great Escape?

Ooh, here's a good one!

Lon Chaney Jr starts Ghost Of Frankenstein playing the same monster Boris Karloff played in the original Frankenstein / Bride Of Frankenstein / Son Of Frankenstein trilogy, but by the end gets Ygor's brain (Bela Lugosi) transplanted into his body and speaks / thinks / acts briefly as Ygor in Frankie’s body.

However, Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman while maintaining continuity with all four previous films cast Lugosi as the monster (because Chaney had to play the Wolfman, duh) without dialog.  Glenn Strange then assumed the role again in continuity with all previous films for House Of Frankenstein, House Of Dracula, and Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, occasionally speaking briefly in the role.

Who was Strange playing in his films?  The original Karloff monster or Ygor in Frankie's bod?  Are those two distinct characters?

. . .

All the above is fun trivia to debate, but it links to a much more serious question:  Who are you?

That’s not a trivial matter.  What constitutes out identity?  What makes us who we are?

I lost my father years ago to Alzheimer’s.  As my brother Robert observed, the only member of a family not affected by an Alzheimer’s diagnosis is the person suffering from it themselves.

I would talk to my father on the phone, and he was always pleasant and cheery, but about three years before he died I realized he had no idea who I was, I was just some voice on the other end of the line that mom wanted him to talk to.

My father was by nature and easy going kinda guy, and that certainly made his last few years easier for my mother and brother Rikk to cope with, but one night when I was visiting, trying to get their affairs straightened out so he could enter a nursing home, he got irritated with my mother as she was trying to help him and raised his hand as if to slap hers away.

My father never raised his hand against my mother.  

Ever.

He taught me and my brothers that was something no real man ever did.

He might sound gruff on occasion but he never raised a finger, much less truck our mother.

The fact he did so in the throes of Alzheimer’s indicated that whoever he once was, he wasn’t that person anymore.

We got him into a nursing home and he lasted a little less than a year there, his mind and his memory and his personality deteriorating rapidly.

Who was he at the end?

I didn’t go to his funeral.

What was the point?

The father I knew and loved had departed long before they buried his shell.

My grandmother, on the other hand, remained her cranky, irascible self until a week and a half before she died, finding the wit to crack one last memorable joke before her body began shutting down.

. . .

The question of identity is related to consciousness, and these are referred to as “the hard question” by physicians and physicists and philosophers alike.

What makes us “us”?

How do we know who we are?

What constitutes identity?

There are no easy, pat answers.

We have textbook definitions that dance around the issue of identity and consciousness, providing enough of a foundation for us to recognize what it is we’re discussing, but no one has yet come up with a clear, concise explanation of what either phenomenon is.

It’s like saying “apples are a red fruit.”

Okay, we know what you’re talking about, but we also know that description falls far, far short of what an apple actually is.

That’s why trivial discussion like whether or not Heath Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix are playing the same character is a lot more important than it seems.

(BTW, they aren’t. Phoenix won his Oscar for his version of the Rupert Pupkin character in a violent remake of The King Of Comedy.)

    © Buzz Dixon 

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

OMG the headcanon ask, I want to ask all of them but lest see... 3, 17 and 20? Bonus question 24: Do you have any headcanons about Laranthir of the Wild's name? What does 'of the Wild' mean? Is it a title? Why does he get called that?

Thank you for asking!! Sorry for responding so late, I've been busy and these questions are tough. I have literally never thought of the answers to these, but I'll do my best to come up with something!

3: How big is the Pact in respect to other military forces? Who supports them monetarily (they've had enough resources to build Fort Trinity long before it was certain they could even take Zhaitan).

Well I actually have encountered this question before, and my answer has always been: it doesn't matter, it's a fantasy world and I'll just ignore this logistic question. But I'm actually thinking maybe the concept of fighting the dragons is a tad more widespread than we're lead to believe, or at least - we're given the impression that if you're anti-dragon, you're in the Pact, but I don't think so.

In the American Civil War, if I remember correctly, three percent of the population was fighting, ten more percent was supporting in other ways, twenty more percent generally agreed with the war and provided things like encouragement, I guess. My numbers could be off or which war it was could be off, but I imagine something like that is vaguely true for all wars - some fight, more support, and even more agree. But I imagine the Vigil and some of the Order of Whispers was the three percent, and the Priory and some of the Whispers were the ten percent, plus a bunch of civilians who decided their contribution would be monetary support. Of course these demographics would shift as the wars went on, and especially after the World Summit, in Elona, and of course there was all sorts of mass confusion during HoT and IBS.

I imagine most of the Pact's monetary support comes from individual donors and not, like, companies, and it's a military organization so it wouldn't fall under the domain of a charity organization. I think there is actually a dialogue in the Vigil Keep about preparing for like a fundraiser or something.

As to how the Pact compares to other military forces - on the one hand, I would be inclined to say it is small because I get the general impression that being a fighter of dragons is sort of a niche occupation, and if you are a member of the Pact that's like something really strange and if you're in like a town or something and say you're a member, people will flock to you in curiosity or else think you're a weirdo - at least during the PS. (There was far more worldbuilding in the PS than in anything after just because of the number of zones and ambient dialogue and all the questlines, so I tend to headcanon everything into PS first before sprouting up into present-day.) But at the same time I'm thinking - the Pact's success can't stem just from being a union of the Orders and being ridiculously passionate about their thing. They've got to have some significant numbers.

They're multi-national and multi-Order, so you'd think this is a big sprawling group of people with representatives in every town, and in one sense that fits as well, and is probably more lore-accurate, but my gut kinda says they're still small. Maybe they're just small in comparison with the Elder Dragons, and that's where I get that feeling. Honestly, I have no idea, but either they're huge or they're tiny, and I have no idea which. I mean, if you're a member of X race and you want to fight, you can either join your race's military/self-defense system (Seraph, Wardens, Wolfborn, Peacemakers, Lionguard, and of course the charr have military that military this all over the place) OR you can join the Pact, and that depends on what you want to fight or whether you feel strongly about the dragons. Like, you can't be drafted into the Pact, whereas I imagine the Seraph might.

So - no clue! But there's some thoughts to keep you company XD.

17: With both rifles and bows existing next to each other, what technology do rifles use? Flintlocks? Do they have magazines? Breach- or frontloaders?

I'll be honest, I have no idea what flintlocks and breachloaders are, and I have a suspicion about frontloaders. But I get the idea!

I saw one response to this question that explained different races/cultures have different styles and different technologies based on their priorities, and I think I agree with this, but also: a bow isn't just a projectile-firing weapon that is outclassed by a gun. Guns are noisy, for one thing, and it's generally inadvisable to use one unless you have training with it. Bows are both simpler to learn and understand, easier to maintain, etc.

But one consideration is this: magic. Perhaps guns and bows interact with magic differently (wood/string vs metal), and so based on your priorities, you'll use one over the other and they can both hold their own in their different contexts.

I don't know the first thing about rifles, as I mentioned above, but I'd generally assume they're built like our Earth rifles - not modern gunnery, I mean I don't see machine guns (although we've seen golems spray projectiles everywhere, so that might count) in Tyria, so maybe an older version of what we have.

One important distinction to make is that, while on Earth we've moved to entirely ranged, bullet-firing monstrosities, as far as I know, Tyria hasn't. Guns are just another type of weapon, and if you prefer a sword, go for it! Maybe guns are still awkward and unwieldy, but my opinion is that bullet wounds are simply laughable.

We're in Tyria here. We have healing magic around every corner. A bullet wound might kill a person or take him down temporarily, but then he's up again. Arrow wounds are more difficult to heal and you're more likely to bleed out or something. I think this is the real reason behind such weapon disparity in Tyria - it's that unless you get a lethal blow that kills quickly, they're gonna get healed, so if you're good with one weapon and good at killing quickly, it doesn't really matter so long as you stay alive and they don't. (And this is also why Risen are so horrific in canon - they don't die when they should. Stab through the heart? You're trained to aim for the quick kill, but quick kill assumes they're not already dead. You have to hack at extremities to neutralize a Risen opponent and it's just - shiver.)

20: How much has Orr been restored at this point?

It's cleansed of corruption but lacks natural nutrients in the soil for things to grow! (I answered this in a similar fashion to above here.)

24 (Wild Card): Do you have any headcanons about Laranthir of the Wild's name? What does 'of the Wild' mean? Is it a title? Why does he get called that?

I have not thought about this, but off the top of my head: maybe he was the first sylvari to befriend a charr? He's a Secondborn, so that's feasible. Or maybe he gained that title from the wanderings he did that led to him meeting Almorra.

But also, the most defining element of his character is that he's always sought love. So maybe he calls himself 'of the Wild' to indicate he's sort - out on his own, in this wilderness that is Tyria, without a companion to lean on. So he's got this sort of wild, hollow, aloneness vibe, like a traveler looking for something that he can never find. (Ouch that's giving me goosebumps already.) Now think about IBS and Darkrime Delves.

----

I am aware these replies (esp the first two!) are very rambly and only pick up coherence at the end, but I think through talking. I looked through this to try and take out unnecessary stuff but... it was all relevant... XDD (this happens when trying to tl;dr my own notes to myself as well haha) Again, thanks for asking!! I like coming up with these XDD.

[hellyeahheroes]

Building America Chavez in D&D 5e

Sorry I’ve been mostly quiet, but certain recent events made me wish to take a break from posting. I do feel bad I didn’t do more for a Pride Month, however so I thought of doing something that will let me combine both trying to lift my spirits up (especially since I haven’t done one of those in a while) and doing little fun thing for LGBTQ followers - letting them play a game that is known as a good escapist fantasy as one of our favorite characters. We’re building America Chavez today.

First of all, let’s define Goals for this build. First of all, we need to kick and punch hard and be able to take a hit as well and be super fast. Second, we need to kick so hard to open portals to other dimensions. Finally, we need to be able to fly and shine bright light.

Regarding Ability Scores America is one of those characters who should have 20 in everything, but we cannot really do that so I’m gonna prioritize what we need for the build. As always I’m taking basic template from Tulok the Barbarian so we’ll be unig Standard Point Array (15, 14, 13, 12, 10 and 8). If you want to roll or use point-buy, go ahead and use these as guidelines, just remember you’ll need 13 inWisdom and Dexterity for multiclassing.

Strength: 14, You can throw tanks at the moon

Dexterity: 13, we need it for multiclassing purpose. Also, I doubt any medium or heavy armor goes with short shorts, America’s outfits are light armor at best.

Constitution: 15, you can take hits from the likes of She-Hulk, Vision and Thanos

Intelligence: 10, you don’t need it but America did go to college to expand her knowledge of cosmic stuff.

Wisdom: 12, living on your own since being a child means picking up some survival skills.

Charisma: 8, low but we will bumb it with rracial ability scores.

Speaking of Race, America is from another planet, descendant of a race created by two celestial beings, who can fly and shine her star marks. and if that doesn’t speak Protector Aasimar, I do not know what does. You gain +2 to Charisma and +1 to Wisdom, resistance to necrotic and radiant damage and know Common and Celestial languages. Your Darkvision lets you see  60 feet in dim light as in normal light and in darkness as in dim light, but without abilitty to discern colors. Once per long rest you can heal a person (or yourself) for number of hit points equal your level. Finally, you get a Light Cantrip, which lets you make one object no larger in any dimension than 10 feet and make it shine bright light in a 20 feet radius and dim light in next 20 feet. Use it for your own stars.

Background: You are from another planet in another dimension so Far Traveller is closest to that. You gain proficiency in any language of your choice, pick something campaign relevant. You get proficiency in Insight and Perception and a single musical instrument or gaming set of your choice. You have an All Eyes On You feature, which makes you a center of attention and opens you doors of curious nobles and scholars.

Class Features:

Level 1: We will kick things off as a Ranger.  You gain proficiency in Dexterity and Strength saving throws, light and medium armor, simple and martial weapons, shields and two skills, choose Athletics and Investigation. 

We will be using Ranger options from Class Variants Unearthed Arcana, which is free. Deft Explorer lets you pick one of 3 options - Tireless lets you a number of times equal your Wisdom modifier per long rest gain 1d10+ Your Wisdom modifier temporary hit points as an action. If you are suffering from Exhaustion and take a short rest, you lose a level of it.

Favored Fore lets you cast Hunter’s Mark on a target without expending a spell slot a number of times equal your Wisdom modifier and don’t need concentration to maintain it. Hunter’s Mark let’s you pick one target and for its duration (up to an hour) you deal 1d6 extra damage whenever you hit it with an attack and gain advanate on Survival and Perception checks to find it. And if the target drops to zero hit points before spell ends you can move it to another as a bonus action. So if you are chasing after Loki again, this will come in handy.

Level 2: 2nd Level Ranger gets to pick a Fighting Style. Unarmed Fighting lets your unarmed attacks deal 1d6+your Strength modifier damage, 1d8 if you hit with two hands at once (or do a dropkick, I guess) and when you start a grapple and whenever you hit a grappled creature you can deal it extra 1d4 bludgeoning of damage. As with Tulok, we pick this one a lot because a lot of superheroes just use fists. If you feel YOUR America should be swinging a waraxe, go for it and pick something else.

On this level Rangers get spellcasting. you know a number of spells and cannot know spells of higher level than you have spell slots for, whenever you cast a spell you spend spell slot of appriopriate level or higher. If a spell requires a saving throw it is against difficulty of 8 + Your Proficiency Modifier + Your Wisdom modifier and the latter two you also sum up to add to a Spell Attack roll if a spell requires one. You start with two spells.

Cure Wounds lets you touch a creature or yourself and heal for 1d8+ Your Wisdom modifier of hit points.

Zephyr Strike lasts for a 1 minute on concentration and for this time you don’t provoke opportunitty attacks and when you deal your first attack you get to make it with an advantage and your speed increases by 30 feet for this turn.

Level 3: Once you reach this level Protector Aasimar gains Radiant Soul, letting you once per long rest radiate with positive energy, even spouting mings made of light from your back. If your DM allows you can probably gain the benefits without that visual add-on. This form lasts for one minute and gives you flying speed equal your regular speed and once on each of your turns you can deal extra radiant damage equal your level to a creature you hit with an attack or a spell.

3rd Level Ranger gets to choose a Ranger Conclave. Horizon Walker specializes in dimensional travel and interdimensional threats. You can as an action sense location of a nearest interdimensional portal once per short or long rest. You also become a Planar Warrior, which means you can use your bonus action to select one creature you can see within 30 feet of you. During this turn when you attack that creature you not only deal extra 1d8 damage but also all damage from that attack gets converted to force damage. Force is the least protected against type of damage in the game, there is literally a single creature immune to it and zero creatures with resistance to it in entire Monster Manual.

At this level Ranger also gains Primeval Awareness, letting you spend a spell slot to be able to sense all aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead within one mile from you for duration of 1 minute per spell slot’s level, but does not tell you their exact location or number. It is horribly situational, costs your valuable resource and is basically a shittier version of Divine Sense, an abilitty Paladin gets on first level. It’s actually a core Ranger abilitty and it does have a replacement in Unearthed Arcana.... buuut that replacement gives you a bunch of extra spells that aren’t really America’s style. At least I am far more likely to beleive she is able to pick subtle hints of presence of various creatures due to her years of experience fighting everything the Multiverse threw at her, than I am that she can detect and talk to animals and plants or be able to see through an animal’s eyes. If you want to sacrifice some thematic coherence for more powerful build, be my guest.

Hunter’s Mark is now added to your spells’ known as a bonus from Favored Foe and Horizon Walker gives you another additional spell - Protection From Evil and Good, letting you make  aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead  have disadvantage on attacks against yourself or another creature. The target of the spell cannot be charmed, frightened or posessed by these creatures  and if that already happend before you cast the spell, it rolls saving throws to shake it off with an advantage. A lot of lovecraftian horrors try to eat your teammate and future god for his future god powers, this will help against that.

Our regular spell for this level will be Absorb Elements. You can cast it as a reaction whenever you take acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage and it grants you resistance to that and next time you hit a target on your next turn, it takes extra 1d6 of that type of damage. This second feature is less impressive at higher levels where a lot of creatures dealing that type of damage are resitant or outright immune to it. Every dragon is immune to the damage dealt by its breath for example. EXCEPT that as a Palanar Warrior you convert that to force damage. Their offense just makes you hit harder.

4th Level: Sticking with Ranger for an Abilitty Score Improvement or a Feat. Resilent lets you add 1 to your Constitution and makes you proficient with Constitution saving throw. a large number of your spells is depending on Concentration so this is a good way to keep going even after you take a hit.

5th Level: Ranger gains an extra attack, letting you attack twice in a single attack action. Remember, those attacks are all affected by your Planar Warrior power.

You also gain access to 2nd level spells 

Lesser Restoration, letting you cure one disease or a  blinded, deafened, paralyzed, or poisoned condition from one creature. America heals fast.

Horizon Walker gives us Misty Step, which lets you teleport 30 feet to an unoccupied space you can see.

6th Level: You can pick second Deft Explorer feature. I will go with Roving to increase your speed by 5 feet and give you climbing and swimming speed equal to your walking speed. America is fast and with that you can move to your foes no matter where they are.

7th Level: Horizon Walker gives you Etheral Step. You can now once per short or long rest cast, as a bonus action, Etherealnesss on yourself without expending a spell slot but it only lasts one turn. It lets you step into Ethereal Plane where you can move without being affected by enemies or walls or magic effects on material plane. You can use this to move aout of the harm’s way or (more likely) behind enemy lines to punch that one guy who keeps hiding behind the tank.

You also get one more spell but I’m not feeling these 2nd level spells so we will pick Longstrider, which increases your movement speed by 10 feet for 1 hour, no concentration required. This means you can now walk, climb, swim or fly up to 45 feet per turn. And you cannot tell me America isn’t super fast, considering in her debut book she did this

8th Level: We will now jump to Cleric. America has multitude of things she could worship, be it Demiurge or Spirits Beracca and Sanar who created your home planet or even your moms and their messianic-like sacrifice. Or not, Clerics don’t need to worship a diety, they can draw the power from just believing this strongly in something the universe registers it as faith. Lou Wilson on The Unsleeping City plays a Cleric who is a doctor that draws power from caring about his patients so much, you don’t need to limit yourself just because you may dislike certain parts of character history.

Whatever your reasons, you get to pick a Divine Domain. Since America can travel between dimensions, she basically is a Planeswalker. Meaning she can jump to Magic: the Gathering setting Amonketh from one of Planeshift supplements and grab the Strength Domain. You gain proficiency in one extra skill, pick Survival, and heavy armor.

You also get Cleric spellcasting, which works as Ranger’s except you know all your Cleric spells and you prepare which spells you have ready each day. You also get cantrips, which you can cast as many times as you want. Your number of spell slots is determined by multiclassing table -  check out a level equal your Cleric level + half your Ranger level rounded down to consult how many spell slots you have for use.

You get 3 Cantrips, two spells and two extra spells and an extra cantrip from Strength domain so we have some work to do.

Guidance and Resistance each lets you add a d4 to a single ability check or a saving throw respectively. This shit is life saving. No, I did not spend my last game lamenting guidance is not on Bard Spell list after my bard failed an important skill check by 1, why are you asking?

Thunderclap lets you clap your hands so hard every creature 5 feet from you needs to make a Constitution saving throw or be dealt 1d6 thunder damage. It is a staple for powerhouses, Hulk basically patented it.

Bless lets you pick up to 3 creatures, including yourself. For the duration they add 1d4 to attack rolls and saving throws

Detect Magic lets you sense or see influence of magic within 30 feet from you unless it’s hiding behind a thick enough barrier. Again, America been around, she can recognize a lot of tricks.

Divine Favor lets you add 1d4 of Radiant damage to your attacks. America’s punches are that strong.

Shield of Faith meanwhile grants you +2 bonus to your AC. Again, short shorts can barelly pass for light armor, less alone medium or heavy so you need all help you can get.

9th Level: 2nd Level Cleric gets to use their Channel Divinity.once per short or long rest

The standard use is Turn Undead, which forces all undead who see you to make a Wisdom saving throw or be turned for 1 minute or until they take damage, making them unable to do anything but spend their turn dashing away from you. You may say it is not in character but America travelled across the Multiverse a lot. Do you know what you can find in Marvel Multiverse a lot? Zombies. Especially Marvel Zombies. And even then, regular zombies in D&D are also know as “PAIN IN THE BUTT TO FIGHT WITH” so whichever kind of undead is bothering you, this will help.

Strength Domain grants you another use of this, Feat of Strength. You can choose to spend your use of Channel Divinity to add +10 to an attack roll, abilitty check or saving throw using Strength.

Finally, Unearthed Arcana lets you spend your use of this feature to regain a 1st level spell slot. It’s situational, but could be useful in a pinch.

Our spell for the level will be Sanctuary - cast it on one creature of your choice to make enemies have to roll a Wisdom saving throw whenever they want to target it with an attack or a harmful spell or have to choose another target. You can play this one as goading enemies to fight her to distract them from civilians or your mroe squishy teammates like Billy or Loki. Warning, don’t waste it on either Kate or Quentin Quire, they are likely to just go and shoot someone and the spell ends if target attacks someone, casts a harmful spell or causes damage from an already active spell. So no, Quentin, you cannot cast Spirit Guardians and then have America Sanctuary you, stop asking and read an errata already!

10th Level: 3rd Level Cleric gets 2 2nd Level spell slots

Aid lasts for an hour and lets you increase hit point maximum and current hit points of up to 3 party members by fve, always useful as a form of a battle plan to keep everyone safe.

Warding Bond lets you for an hour create a bond between you and another creature for 1 hour with no concentration. As long as the target is within 60 feet of you it gets +1 to AC and resistance to all damage but whenever it takes damage, you take as much damage and if you get further than 60 feet away from one another or you drop to 0 hit points, the spell ends. So cast this on Kate, Monica or Billy who are squishy but know to stay in the back. Don’t cast it on Ramone, Eddie, Adam, Teddy, Carol, T’Challa, Noh-Varr, Gwen, David, Eli or Galactus who are likely to be with you in the front line. And don’t cast it on Quentin, he is squishy and should stay in the back but he cannot be trusted, this kid has no self-perservation instinc whatsoever. Same goes for Loki, who is supposed to be smarter but still keeps poking everything around for one scheme or another.

Strength Domain gives us Enchance Abilitty, which grants you an advantage on abilitty chekcs of chosen Ability score and some minor bonuses if you pick Strength, Dexterity or Constitution. As I’ve said, America is good at everything as if she was an anime character, this will help you emulate that.

Protection from Poison for an hour, no concentration, gives the target advantage on saving throws against being poisoned and resistance to poison damage and when cast removes one poison already affecting the target.

11th Level: 4th Level Cleric gets an Abilitty Score Improvement, invest in your Strength. Spoiler, this will be where all your remaining Abilitty Score improvements will go.

You get one more cantrip and one more spell

Virtue grants the target 1d4+your spellcasting abilitty modifier of temporary hit points for one round

Branding Smite, which was added in Unearthed Arcana, lets you deal extra 2d6 Radiant damage and if the target was invisible it now becomes visible and cannot becopme invisible for the duration of the spell as it shines bright light in 5-feet radius. America punching someone out of their invisiblity so hard they now glitter? Sounds about right.

12th Level: 5th Level Cleric can destroy all undead of challenge rating 1/2 or less who failed saving throw against turn undead. 

You get even more spells, gaining access to third level ones.

Remove Curse lets you remove effects of a curse from a person or break attunment to cursed item. Use it on yourself to simply shrug off the enemy curses

Tongues lets you understand any language and be understood by all other creatures for an hour. You ever noticed how all realities America goes to seem to speak English? This may be why.

Protection From Energy lets you get resistance to  acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder. for the duration, on concentration of course.

Haste also lasts on concentration. it doubles your speed, grants +2 to AC, an advantage on Dexterity saving throws and an extra attaction you can use to take Dash, Disengage, Hide or use object action or make a single extra attack. Once it ends you cannot take actions for a turn, 

13th Level: 6th Level Cleric can use Channel Divinity twice per short or long rest, gains a new use from Strength domain, letting you as a reaction grant +10 to another creature’s attack roll, ability check or saving throw using Strength. Sometimes you jsut want to cheer up on your girlfriend to punch someone harder, you know?

You also get to pick one more spell - magic Circle lets you ward an area of 10 feet radius and 20 feet height from celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, or undead, whichever you choose. You can either protect creatures inside from that type of enemies or trap them inside the circle. Either way the selected creature type cannot willingly cross the border of the circle, had disadvantage against targets on the other side cannot charm, frighter or possess and if it tries to circumvent this by using teleportation of any sort it needs to first succeed a Charisma saving throw.

14th Level: 7th Level Cleric gets 4th level spells

Freedom of Movement lets you for one hour, no concentration required, make yourself unaffected by difficult terrain and magic cannot in any way reduce your speed, restrain or paralyze you, you can spend 5 feet from your movement to escape nonmagical restraints and being underwater doesn’t impose any penalty on your movement.

Dominate Beast isn’t really in character so I will focus on second bonus spell Strength Domain gives you - Stoneskin grants you resistance to nonmagical Bludgeoning, Piercing and Slashing damage

Stoneskin is not an excuse to wear this awful outfit from Vengenace, tho.

15th Level: 8th Level Cleric gains Divine Strike, letting you once on each of your turns add extra 1d8 of that damage type. You also get to pick another Abilitty Score improvement and your Destroy Undead abilitty upgrades to undeads of CR 1 or less.

Your spell for this level will be Banishment, forcing a Charisma Saving throw on the target and sending it to another dimension if it fails. If the target is native to this plane, it is send to a harmless dimension and comes back once spell ends. But if it is not, it is send to its home plane and if you maintain concentration for one minute, it does not return. As with Magic Circle this is less something we hase SEEN America do but sounds like something she should be able to do. Open a portal under something and let it fall.

16th Level: 9th Level Cleric gets one spell of 4th level and one of 5th level.

Greater Restoration lets you remove from atarget a single level of exhaustion, one curse, one reduction of an abilitty score or hit point maximum, one effect that charmed or petrified the target. Use this on yourself to shrug off everything. Except perficication, kinda hard to use this while petrified.

Strength Domain gives you two extra spells, but Insect Plague isn’t very in character. Destructive Wave, however, lets you strike the ground, making every creature of your choice within 30-feet range take 5d6 thunder and 5d6 radiant or necrotic damage and be knocked prone, half damage on a succesful Constitution saving throw. You stomp the ground that hard.

Death Ward lasts for 8 hours with no concentration, first time a target would be dropped to zero hit points, they’re dropped to 1 hit points instead. If an effect would kill target instantly without dealing damage (say POWER WORD: KILL) it is negated. Either way the spell ends after a single activation. Sounds useful considering one of people on America’s shit list is COSMIC TITAN CHAMPION OF DEATH 

17th Level: 10th Level Cleric gains Divine Intervention, which lets you call upon the power of whoever you picked as your patron diety. You describe what you want to happen and roll a percentage dice - if your result is lower than your Cleric level, diety intervenes in a way choosen by the DM. If you succed on this, you cannot use this feature for a week, if you fail you cannto do it until after a long rest.

You get one new Cantrip and one new 5th Level Spell

Word of Radiance forces all creatures of your choice to suceed a Constitution saving throw or take 4d6 radiant damage. You shine so bright you literally hurt your enemies.

Legend Lore lets you gain knowledge about a legendary object, person or location, up to mysterious secrets. Again, America has been travelling through the Multiverse, she likely has seen everything and recalls things that seem to be happenning again.Information may be a bit cyrptic, tho.

18th Level: 11th Level Cleric’s Destroy Undead improves to undeads of CR 2 or lower. You also get an access to 6th Level Spell - otherwordly Form was added to Cleric Spell List in Unearthed Arcana. It lets you for the duration (up to 1 minute on concentration) grant yourself flying speed of 40 feet, use of your Wisdom in place of Strength for attack rolls, an additional attack that doesn’t stack with your extra attack and immunity to either fire and poison damage and poisoned condition or radiant and necrotic damage and charmed comdition. This will help if you out of your Radiant Soul and need to fly again, but it is sadly not as good on this particular build because we already have an extra attack and rely more on Strength than Wisdom. But Clerics don’t get Fly.

19th Level: Speaking of Strength, 12th Level fo Cleric and our Final Abilitty Score Improvement lets us finally cap it.

20th Level: Our captsone is 13th Level of Cleric for a 7th Level spell - Plane Shift lets you become your party’s ticked to the Multiverse, letting you transport yourself and up to 8 willing creatures to another plane of existence or to banish an unwilling creature to a random location on a plane you choose if you hit it with a meele spell attack you make as a part of this spell and it fails Charisma Saving throw.

Overview: So this is my take on America Chavez - Protector Aasimar Horizon Walker Ranger 7/Strength Domain Cleric 13. Now let us see how valiable this build is:

Pros: First of all, you are really tough, with around 165 hit points, a number of spells you can set up to buff yourself  and/or others you will be very hard to hurt. Second, you have a large number of ways to hurt your enemies and even combine them to deal some impressive damage. Finally, you have a ton of mobility options, letting you chase all most important targets all across the battlefield.

Cons: A lot of your spells require concentration and we didn’t cap this one, so it is mediocre. A lot of your offensive options compete for bonus action and your buffs require some prep time and forward thinking to set up or wasting your time during the combat. A number of offensive spells relies on your Wisdom modifier, which is weak.

However, you are pretty good at what you do best - punching and taking on yourself major threats. You are a reliable tank who can outlast her enemies in combat. Punch people and protect your friends, jsut remember you cannot do it all alone and your teammates are much more squishy - protect them and they’ll have your back

Alternatives:

There is a number of ways in which you could upgrade this build but sacrifice some of loyalty to America’s potrayal.

* Ranger 6/Cleric 14 lets you increase your Divine Strike Damage to 2d8, meaning you can deal 4d8 damage when combined with Planar Warrior.

* Ranger 12/Cleric 8 lets you increase your Planat Warrior Damage and gains extra attack from Horizon Walker’s 11th level feature, making you much more offensive but also with more hp.

* Change stats to STR 12 DEX 13 CON 14 INT 10 WIS 15  CHA 8. Pick Druidic Warrior as your fighting style, grab a club or a staff and pick shillelagh as your cantrip, letting you use your Wisdom for attacks made with said club or staff, then go Ranger 8/Cleric 12 or vice-versa, using your Abilitty Score Improvements to round up first Wisdom and then Constitution. This take on America will have much better offense AND defense but it strays so much from her as a character (no plane shift, no punching with your hands, less actual Strength and more trickery) it didn’t feel right. Sometimes you need to sacrifice power to stay loyal to the character. Then again, this build would sure be true to a certain aspect of America we know and love.

- Admin

[rvseate]

welcome  to  bee  tries  to  write  a  coherent  intro  challenge  !

(   𝘩𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑦  𝑙𝑢  𝑟𝑖𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠𝑜𝑛  &  𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑐𝑎  𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒   )   bopping  along  to  𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬  𝐟𝐥𝐲  by  𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫  𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭  is  𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄  𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐍  ,  the  𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲  𝐨𝐧𝐞  year  old  𝐜𝐢𝐬  𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞  thrown  back  to  their  𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞  𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠  days  with  𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞  of  her  memories  .  voted  𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭  𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲  𝐭𝐨  𝐛𝐞  𝐨𝐧  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐫  ,  𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘  was  known  for  being  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  &  𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜  ,  go  figures  you'd  always  find  them  𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐧𝐞𝐰  𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲  𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬  ,  but  grew  up  to  be  𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜  &  𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭  .   ✎   𝑏𝑒𝑒  ,  𝟸𝟷  ,  𝑠𝘩𝑒/𝘩𝑒𝑟  ,  𝑒𝑠𝑡  .

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬.

NAME  :   penelope  dahlia  buchanan

NICKNAMES  :  penny

D.O.B.  :  june  25,  1989

GENDER  /  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  /  she  +  her

SEXUALITY  :  biromantic  bisexual

𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞.

BORN  :  san  antonio,  texas

RAISED  :  san  antonio,  texas

CURRENT  RESIDENCE  :  rom  valley  university  dorms  (  past  )   /  san  francisco,  california  (  present  )

NATIONALITY  :  american

SPOKEN  LANGUAGES  :  english

SOCIOECONOMIC  CLASS  :  upper  middle  class

OCCUPATION  :  full  stack  developer

PARENTS  :  glenn  &  tammy  buchanan

SIBLINGS  :  blair  buchanan,  lucille  buchanan,  stella  buchanan

CHILDREN  :  none  (  past  )   /   madison,  3  y/o  (  present  )

RELIGION  :  christian  (  past  )   /   agnostic  (  present  )

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.

HEIGHT  :  5′5″

BUILD  :   a  little  curvy,  not  much  muscle  definition

HAIR  :  dirty  blonde,  wavy

EYE  COLOUR  :  a  murky  grayish  blue

SKIN  :  fair,  prone  to  acne,  easily  flushed

DOMINANT  HAND  :  right

SCENT  :  vanilla  &  lavender

ACCENT  :  texan

TATTOOS  /  PIERCINGS  :  no  tattoos,  ears  pierced  (  past  )   /   a  simple  hello  world  tattoo  on  her  wrist,  ears  pierced  (  present  )

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫.

STRENGTHS  :  conscientious,  kindhearted,  intelligent,  affable,  humble

WEAKNESSES  :  jealous,  self-conscious,  intransigent,  pessimistic,  dependent

ZODIAC  :  cancer  sun,  libra  moon

MBTI  :  infj

TEMPERAMENT  :  phlegmatic

MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  lawful  neutral

HOGWARTS  HOUSE  :  hufflepuff

𝐛𝐢𝐨.

penny  buchanan  is,  and  always  has  been,  unremarkable,  at  least  in  her  own  eyes.  a  christian  sorority  girl  from  texas  ?  they’re  a  dime  a  dozen.  not  to  mention  penny  is  the  second  youngest  of  four  girls,  all  of  whom  look  remarkably  similar.  the  buchanan  girls  came  as  a  package  deal.  penny  spent  every  minute  with  her  sisters  growing  up  (  though  many  of  those  minutes  were  spent  at  war  ),  trying  to  ignore  their  parents’  relationship  crumbling  irreversibly  as  the  years  went  on.  it  was  an  open  secret  that  glenn  buchanan  was  not  entirely  faithful  to  his  wife.  but  they  brushed  it  under  the  rug;  after  all,  what  else  were  they  supposed  to  do,  divorce  ?  now  that  wouldn’t  be  very  christian,  would  it  ?

penny  first  discovered  a  love  for  computers  in  her  sophomore  year  of  high  school,  when  she  signed  up  for  a  computer  class  because  the  boy  she  was  crushing  on  was  taking  it.  well,  crushes  fade,  but  her  interest  in  the  ones  and  zeroes  that  composed  the  modern  computer  didn’t.  the  first  week  of  her  first  year  at  rvu,  penny  cried  herself  to  sleep  every  night.  she’d  never  been  apart  from  her  sisters  for  so  long.  not  to  mention  she  stuck  out  like  a  sore  thumb  in  her  software  engineering  classes,  which  were  overwhelmingly  male  (  and  in  need  of  deodorant  ).  

but  she  quickly  found  a  home  in  the  sorority  sigma  delta  nu,  all  too  happy  to  bake  cookies  for  their  bake  sales  and  play  sidekick  to  the  bolder,  more  outgoing  girls,  as  long  as  she  was  part  of  a  sisterhood  once  more.  she’s  always  defined  herself  by  her  relationship  to  other  people,  and  a  sorority  is  right  up  her  alley.  she’s  a  little  embarrassed  by  her  major,  since  it’s  probably  seen  as  pretty  nerdy  and  masculine,  and  definitely  downplays  it  lmao  even  though  she  loves  it  a  lot.  she  definitely  was  more  of  a  follower  than  a  leader,  so  if  another  of  her  sorority  sisters  had  drama  with  someone,  penny  definitely  stood  behind  them  and  stayed  quiet  instead  of  maybe  forming  her  own  opinion.

totally  into  the  bachelor  lmfao.  she's  seen  every  season  and  lives  for  the  drama  of  it  all.  just  loves  reality  shows  in  general.  also  loves  romcoms.  she’s  a  total  hopeless  romantic  who  gets  crushes  on  people  way  too  easily

WANTED  PLOT  !!!  something  i’d  love  is  if  penny  had  a  boyfriend  in  her  college  days.  super  cute,  been  dating  a  while,  people  probably  expect  them  to  get  married.  but  she’s  secretly  cheating  on  him.  the  drama  !!!  up  to  you  how  much  he  remembers  of  the  future.  extra  bonus  points  if  she’s  cheating  on  him  with  a  girl,  im  so  gay  and  so  is  penny

college  tl;dr  :  penny  is  your  average  christian  sorority  girl,  sweet  but  a  lil  insecure  and  dependent,  Confused™  about  her  sexuality,  loves  software  eng  &  actually  really  good  at  it  but  embarrassed  abt  it.  can  be  jealous  and  honestly  a  little  spiteful.  way  too  concerned  about  her  image

after  college  !!  i  imagine  the  boyfriend  finds  out  about  her  cheating  and  breaks  up  with  her  lol.  she  got  a  job  in  silicone  valley  and  makes  like,  a  lot  of  money  tbh.  she  gained  more  confidence  and  independence,  but  still  tends  to  make  herself  smaller  and  stick  to  the  shadows  while  her  coworkers  get  the  glory.  i  feel  like  she’s  had  a  few  short  relationships  but  nothing  super  serious.  definitely  had  an  okcupid  account  lmfao.  

she’s  always  wanted  to  be  a  mother  and  at  some  point  after  a  certain  amount  of  failed  relationships  she  was  like  …  ya  know  what  ?  i’m  gonna  do  this  on  my  own.  so  she  got  artificially  inseminated  and  now  has  the  cutest  daughter  named  madison.  it’s  been  tough  being  a  single  mother,  but  it’s  been  so  worth  it.

after  the  reunion,  she  remembers  some  of  her  future,  but  it’s  very  much  like  remembering  a  dream,  where  you’re  not  sure  if  it  even  happened.  the  only  parts  she  remembers  clearly  are  with  madison.

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

these  are  all  lame  bc  i’m  tired  i  am  sorry

ex-boyfriend.  like  i  said,  a  college  boyfriend  who  she  was  cheating   on.  pleaseee

college  fling.  the  person  she  cheated  with.  would  love  this  to  be  a  girl/enby  but  would  also  be  ok  with  a  guy.  taken  by  vivienne  hale

skinny  love.  maybe  they  were  just  friends  but  always  lowkey  had  a  crush  on  each  other,  but  it  never  worked  out  cause  they  were  never  single  at  the  same  time

sorority  sisters.  pleeeease  give  penny  her  sorority  sisters  !!  her  girls  !!

hbic.  penny’s  more  of  a  sidekick,  so  i’d  love  a  female  friend  who’s  more  confident  and  outgoing.  think  like,  jennifer  &  needy  from  jennifer’s  body

classmates.  any  other  engineers  out  there  ??  doesn’t  even  need  to  be  software  engineers  lol

childhood  /  high  school  friends.  someone  also  from  texas  who  penny  knew  growing  up

victims  ?  maybe  some  of  her  sorority  sisters  tended  to  be  snotty  and  mean,  and  penny  just  stood  by  instead  of  standing  up  for  their  victims

one-sided  crush.  either  way  bbyyyy

sperm  donor.  i  know  sperm  donors  are  anonymous  but  how  fucking  funny  would  it  be  if  penny  found  out  the  father  of  her  child  was  an  old  classmate

annoyance.  someone  who  irritates  penny

bad  influence  /  good  influence

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 10: Endings

The posts that have been going around about all these bad, nonsensical, random tv endings we’ve been seeing recently (GOT, T100, SPN), have made me think about what makes a good television ending in my opinion.

I admit that concluding a series is probably quite tricky because most shows, if they’re not miniseries, are conceived without a known end point in mind. A show runner can build an idea around a 5-season arc, but he might not actually get 5 seasons. He might only get 1. Or he might get 10, if the show is popular. So unlike a movie or a novel, the first episodes need to set up a general premise, a universe, a theme, but not necessarily a specific plot with X number of specific plot points leading to a pre-ordained conclusion. There has to be a flexibility to the narrative. But when the whole thing is completed, it should feel, ideally, as if it WAS pre-ordained, as if the show was always meant to have as many seasons as it got and was working toward its conclusion the whole time.

So, roughly, I think shows that stick the landing do so because the showrunner knows what the show is, at its core, about, and crafts a finale that relates to the central theme(s) and brings the main narrative to a logical and emotionally resonant conclusion. 

This is very rough and very general, and it’s a formula that applies more to some shows than others. TV is incredibly varied after all. I mean, first off, not all shows know their last season is their last season going in. You can’t judge the final episodes of, to use two examples of shows I liked that were unceremoniously axed recently, The Society or Altered Carbon as “finale episodes” because they were never meant to be finales. Then you have a show like My So-Called Life, which does have a Classic ending, despite ending all too soon--mostly because every episode of that show was classic, and it only had one season, so its season finale being a fitting ending to the season automatically means its series finale was a fitting ending to the series.

(It’s such an outlier that I can’t really compare it to anything but honestly--this is how to do an open-ended cliffhanger and still make it feel like a conclusion. But that’s a whole different post.)

My formula above also doesn’t apply well to sitcoms, because they aren’t really about anything, in terms of plot. Like the name says, they set up situations: a group of people who are family, co-workers, friends, and then lets those situations play out in a funny manner for as long as there are jokes to tell. Sitcoms to me end well if they don’t overstay their welcome, if they remain true to the characters (because it’s the characters, not the minimal narrative, that defines the show), and if they hit an appropriate ‘ending’ tone. But the biggest thing for me is if the sitcom went on for too many seasons. Even if the final episode isn’t the greatest, it’s fine. But if the last 2-4 seasons were lackluster, it tarnishes the whole legacy.

‘Procedural’ type shows are yet another category, and I’m not entirely sure how to characterize those, or what makes a strong ending for that sub-genre. I’m using ‘procedural’ broadly to include, like, Bad Guy of the Week type shows--for example, Charmed, which I thought should have ended after S7. Again, I think it’s about not letting the whole thing go on too long, and then staying true to characters and tone in the finale itself.

So looking just at dramas that have a season’s warning before their finale--which, really, are the type of shows that are most likely to make people ANGRY with shitty endings, because they lure the viewer in with the idea that a singular, coherent story is being told. Maybe it’s convoluted. Maybe it’s winding. Maybe it’s hard to tell where they’re going with this. But if it all comes together in the end, none of that matters--and if it doesn’t come together, what was the point of all the seasons that came before? It becomes, retroactively, a betrayal.

The more plot-driven the show (if it has a mystery, a conspiracy theory, a quest), the greater the betrayal if all fizzles out. But I think the same feeling can arise from shoddy conclusions in dramas more generally. The L Word is one of my comfort shows but that last season is a MESS all the way down, the finale especially. There definitely wasn’t a point to anything, and it wasn’t even entertaining as, like, a dramatic soap.

But then I think about shows whose endings I really liked. For example, Six Feet Under had a great final season and one of the best finale episodes/ending sequences ever. The show up to that point had been about death, and that theme had always been centered most particularly on Nate: his fears of the family business, his previous brushes with death because of his AVM, etc. So of course the show had to end by killing one of its mains, coming full circle with the pilot, showing real grief hitting home--and of course Nate’s personal journey as the main character had to end with his death. Everything about the conclusion was fitting, not even counting the final montage.

I also really liked the conclusion of Big Love, for similar reasons: it was thoughtful, and it successfully teased out the main strands, both of plot and theme, that had run through the show up to that point. The most important thing had always been depicting this family, their problems but also their strength and their love for each other--so, as the showrunners said, it had to conclude by showing you that the family survives. They are strong, and their bonds endure. But the ending was, and had to be, bittersweet too, because anything less would seem to sweep under the rug the real tragedies of the last seasons. Not everyone gets happy endings. And the unhappy endings relate specifically to the toxic patriarchy that’s haunted all of the characters from the pilot. Alby has a chance to turn away from his father and the compound life--but the forces arrayed against him were too strong, so there was no deus ex machina for him, and he ultimately just became fully the evil villain. And Bill is taken out not by the state or by the compound but by an aggrieved man who feels he’s been emasculated, forgotten, who is raging against being so Unseen. What a way to make clear what the common denominator in all of the threats of the past 5 seasons has been.

I also give major points to shows whose finales feel like they’re trying, even if they’re imperfect, especially if the imperfections are because of factors outside the showrunner’s control. For example, I saw someone list Dollhouse as one of their ‘worst endings’ but I have to disagree. I like the ending of Dollhouse. It wasn’t supposed to be 2 seasons. That’s well known. But that’s how many seasons it got, and I think honestly they turned that into a plus rather than a minus. Dollhouse was its best when it was rushing to a conclusion, when it was fast-paced and exciting. Did it always make complete sense? No. Were there some pretty big holes in the plot? Yeah--S2′s Big Bad was absolutely and transparently a retcon instituted between S1 and S2 and I get that, and I forgive the show for that. I thought bifurcating the epilogue as two extra episodes after each of the two seasons was genius, and I liked that it allowed the show to have its cake and eat it too: a happy ending, with the main, immediate, singular Big Bad eliminated, at the end of S2, and a more bittersweet, more complicated, post-apoc ending in the bonus episode. Yeah, I can see the seams; I know there were a lot of constructed work arounds in there because the show was intended to be longer. I think the ending was presented in good faith.

I also, perhaps controversially, liked the ending of Veronica Mars (the original 3-season show; I didn’t see the reboot). The way the season aired was weird and didn’t do it any favors: having a long break before the last couple of episodes, which existed outside of the two Big Case arcs of S3, makes those final stories feel tacked on and random. Basically impossible to have a strong finish with that kind of structure. But the very end of the last ep had the bitter, dark feel of a noir, which is what the show was, a mash up of a noir and a high school drama. I liked that they leaned on the noir rather than the high school aspect, because it was the more creative way to go imo. Also, I appreciated that S3, in general, learned from S2′s mistakes. Yes, the college years are always going to be lackluster compared to high school, in any series that starts with its characters in high school. But VM recognized that no overarching mystery was going to compare to the Lilly Kane murder, so it split the Big Mystery into two Medium Sized mysteries, and I thought that was smart. All of which makes me inclined to think fondly of the conclusion. As with Dollhouse, its weakest points seem to be compromises it had to make, not really its fault but just an inevitable imperfection of the form.

It’s pretty easy to list aspects of a bad ending: a sense that events are arbitrary, a disrespect of characters, a rushed construction, a jarring tone, and most importantly a disconnect between the finale and what came before. If the show appeared to be a narrative (as opposed to a situation), but it doesn’t feel like a complete and coherent whole at the end, then the conclusion was bad.

I didn’t watch GOT or SPN and I stopped watching T100 at the end of S4 (though I do feel confident from tumblr that the ending was Bad), so I have somewhat of a hard time thinking of shows that I thought had really bad endings. I can think of dissatisfying endings that came from shows being cancelled without warning. I can think of shows that lasted too long in general or otherwise had fallen from their greatest heights by the time they limped to a conclusion (unpopular opinion: Friends fits in this category--that show should have been 4 seasons, maybe 5 tops; Boy Meets World and Dawson’s Creek are comfort show favorites of mine but they both should have ended with high school, like, pretty objectively speaking; iZombie started a slow downturn after S2 and by the end of S4 was kinda unwatchable. I literally stopped halfway through the finale.). I can even think of shows that lost me by the end even though objectively they probably had good endings (for example, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend--I couldn’t get through S4 and the finale sounded... technically well-constructed but like it would have driven me nuts).

But then I guess most shows with shitty finales technically had shitty last seasons in general. Truly notorious crash-and-burns don’t come out of nowhere. I mean I’m sure there are counter-examples to this (what’s that one with the kid and the snow globe lol?) but unless you try for a weird last-minute twist, or unless you’ve got your audience hoping against hope that an impossibly twisty story is actually very smart instead of very ill-planned, it’s generally clear before the last episode if a narrative has lost its way. I don’t tend to watch a lot of ‘twisty-turny conspiracy’ shows, and when I do I am supremely skeptical all the way through, so it’s hard for me to think of examples I’ve personally watched of a last minute “what the fuck was that” conclusion.

[gojira007]

Movie Meme

Took me a bit of time, but I was tagged by @bunnikkila to list my nine favorite movies, and since I can’t help but be ridiculously verbose about that very topic, you can see them all under the cut 8D

As for who I tag?  Well, as always with the caveat that you are free to ignore if you don’t wanna, I’ll go with: @elistodragonwings @kaikaku @donnys-boy @robotnik-mun @sally-mun @fini-mun @werewolf-t33th  @cviperfan and @wildwoodmage​

and don’t worry, if you DO go for it, you don’t have to get as Extra as I did about it XD

9.) 

Look, the meme is about Favorite Movies, not necessarily the BEST Movies, OK?  And for the most part this list consists of films where that division is less meaningful in terms of how I evaluate the other movies on here.  But in this specific case, “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie”, which is ultimately not all that different from the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ TV show it spun off from and thus not particularly impressive as a work of Cinema Qua Cinema, makes the cut primarily because it’s a movie I know so well and have enjoyed so often that I can practically recite the whole thing to you by rote; I quote it all the time in my day-to-day life, I think about it often when I need a little smile, and it’s also become my favorite tool for introducing newcomers to MST3K as a whole since it was designed with a slightly broader audience in mind than the more willfully-eclectic series.  And given how much I love MST3K As A Whole, that’s an especially strong factor in its favor.

8.) 

Looky looky, @bunnikkila, we (unsurprisingly) have a pick in common!  I’m sure this is the one and only time THAT’S going to happen on this list. 8D

Y’know, nearly thirty years (and one fairly useless remake >_>) later, I think the thing that impresses me about “The Lion King” is just how much it is still able to grab me emotionally.  Some of that is unquestionably tied up with how strongly I associate this movie with my family, all of whom it became very special to as a Shared Experience.  But I also don’t know of a lot of people who haven’t had that same emotional experience with it, and that to me suggests there’s more going on here than just Nostalgia.  The mixture of Shakesperean plotting with Disney’s signature strength of Character, for one thing, granting the movie’s story an Epic Scope that never forgets the emotional inner lives of its cast.  The music for another, not only its instantly-iconic song-book but also its memorable score, armed with both Big Bombast and Gentle Sentiment.  And the unforgettably gorgeous animation, rendering every last element of its world with believable naturalism and strongly-defined personality.  All of it, together, makes for what I still personally consider the Crowning Achievement of the Disney Renaissance.

7.)

I think, if I had to name the thing I find most lacking in far too many modern Action Movies, it’s Clarity.  They all tend to lard their plots up with a bunch of unnecessary contrivances and complications in hopes of making themselves appear more clever than they actually are, and all it usually does is just dilute the impact of the whole thing.  “Mad Max: Fury Road”, by contrast, is all about Clarity.  I could sum up literally its entire plot in a paragraph if I wanted, because it is basically One Big Chase Scene from start to finish, never really deviating from that structure for more than a few minutes at a time.  And that, combined with its exceptionally well-crafted Action Sequences, means that the full weight of its visceral power hits you full force every time.  But don’t be fooled; that simplicity is not to be mistaken for shallowness.  Indeed, precisely by getting out of its own way, knowing exactly what it wants to do and why, “Fury Road” also delivers a story that is, in spite of what you might guess, genuinely subtle and smart.  Every character is immediately unforgettable and compelling because their role in the story is so well-considered and their personalities all so stark.  The world it crafts feels at once fascinatingly surreal and yet All Too Real at the same time because even its most Fantastic elements are ultimately just grotesque reflections of things the audience knows only too well.  And most of all, it tells a story with real, meaningful Themes that are deeply woven into each of its individual elements, such that the whole thing is deeply satisfying emotionally, but also piercingly Relevant in all the best, most affecting ways.

6.) 

Oh look, another pick I have in common with @bunnikkila!  This must be the last one, right?

But yeah, this is just a legitimately great movie, at every level, in every way.  Stylistically, it is one of the most radically inventive things to have ever been made in the world of Western Animated Movies, gleefully mixing together a vast array of Aesthetics and Techniques that are at once viscerally distinct and yet coherently connected, all rendered with a fantastic eye toward the world of Comic Book Visual Language that keeps finding new and extremely fun ways to play with that instantly-recognizable iconography.  For that alone, I would call it one of the greatest triumphs of 21st century animation.  But then, on top of that, the story it tells is one that is simultaneously Arch and self-aware, delivering some of the most fantastically hilarious punch-lines imaginable more than a few of which are at the expense of the very franchise it is working within...but also entirely earnest, sincere, and emotionally affecting.  It is, at once, a movie that manages to be about The Idea Of Spider-Man in its totality while also being about just one kid coming to grips with who he is, what he can do, and what his life can be.  I don’t know that I can remember the last time a movie so immediately and unmistakably marked itself as an Enduring Masterpiece, but “Into the Spider-Verse” absolutely pulled it off.

5.)

Ordinarily, I would cheat and give this slot to the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in its totality.  But somehow, the fact that this is about “FAVORITE” movies instead of just what we think the BEST one is compels me to narrow it down to just one.  And if I had to pick just one, it would be the first of the three, “Fellowship of the Ring”.  It’s not necessarily anything that the other two movies get wrong, either.  All three of the LotR movies possess many of its keenest strengths, after all.  For a starter, there’s the keen understanding of how best to adapt the source material without being enslaved to it; capturing many of its most iconic moments while cleverly tweaking elements to make them more cinematic, knowing what scenes to focus on for the sake of more clearly focusing the emotional through-lines of the story, and knowing what scenes, no matter how good on the page, ultimately don’t fit to the shape the adaptation has taken.  There’s also its pitch-perfect casting, each and every actor doing a fantastic job of embodying the characters so well that even as your personal vision of them from the books may differ radically from what is on-screen, they nonetheless end up feeling Right for the part and a strong, compelling presence.  And there’s the deft visual hand of director Peter Jackson, who knows exactly how to craft a Middle Earth that feels at once lived-in and real but also Fantastic and magical.  “Fellowship”, for me at least, thus wins out mostly because it has the good luck of being adapted from the strongest of the three books, the point at which the narrative is at its most unified and thus has the strongest overall momentum.  But also because so few movies have so swept me away with the sense of stepping into a world I have always dreamed of in my mind’s eye, and that’s the sort of thing that can only happen at the beginning of a journey.

4.) 

Now here’s a movie that is literally sown in to my very being.  It’s the last movie my mother saw in theaters before becoming a Mom.  I grew up watching the “Real Ghostbusters” cartoon all the time and playing with the attendant toys; I had a “Ghostbusters” Birthday Party when I was, like, four years old.  It has been my annual Halloween Tradition to get myself a big Cheese Pizza and watch this movie for about as long as I’ve had disposable income to myself.  There is, quite literally, no point in my life where I don’t remember “Ghostbusters” being a fixture in it.  And as a nice bonus?  It is, legitimately, a Genuinely Great Movie.  I realize that isn’t quite as universally agreed upon these days as it was even a few years ago (thanks, Literally The Worst Kind Of Virulently Misogynist Assholes lD; ), but I still feel pretty confident in saying this one really is That Good.  I still find basically every one of its jokes hilarious; even now I could quote just about any one of them and get a laugh.  I still find its central premise, What If Exorcism Was A Blue-Collar Business, a brilliant, almost subversively clever one that takes The Supernatural out of the realm of The Unknowable and into a world where even you, an ordinary person off the street, can in fact fight back against it.  I still think it’s one of the all-time great examples of how to balance Tone in this sort of High Concept Genre Bender, by allowing The Story to be played relatively straight while allowing the comedy to flow naturally from the characters’ reactions to that story, allowing its Ghostly aspects to land as Genuinely Scary (or at least Worth Taking Seriously) without getting too Stern and Serious about it.  And I still listen to that unforgettable Title Song all the time!  So yeah, even if I could be more objective about it, “Ghostbusters” would almost certainly make this cut.      

3.) 

And so we come to the third and last pick I have in common with @bunnikkila, not coincidentally a movie that played a key role in solidifying our friendship, as bonding over our shared love of it was a big part of how we got to know each other on deviantART waaaay back in the day <3

By 2008, I really didn’t think it was possible for a movie or comic or TV show to really become “part” of me anymore, the way things like Sonic the Hedgehog or Marvel Super Heroes or Some Other Movie Character Who Might Be At The Top Of This List had.  And then “WALL-E” came along and proved that to be completely, utterly wrong.  I didn’t just love this movie, I was inspired by it, to a degree of strength and consistency that I’m still not entirely sure has yet been matched.  And to be sure, some of that is undoubtedly because the movie had already basically won the war before I’d even bought my ticket; Adorable Robots In Love is something like My Platonic Storytelling Ideal, after all.  But even setting that aside, “WALL-E” is a movie where even now I can’t help but be keenly aware, and gently awed, at the beauty of its craft; indeed, watching this movie in a theater did a lot to make me better understand why movies work on us the way they do, because I left that theater chewing so much on every last one of its elements.  Its gorgeous animation, the way it conveys Character through Actions more so than language, the dream-like quality of its musical score (even as i type this i get teary thinking about certain motifs), the clear and meaningful way it builds its theme and story together so harmoniously, and the particular perspective it takes on our relationships with each other, with our environments, and with our own technology...all of it speaks to me deeply and profoundly, and it’s no coincidence that I have seen this movie more times in theaters than any other on this list (twelve times, for the record, and I still remember each and every time XD).

2.) 

This one needs no personal qualifications, to my mind.  Yes, I have some degree of nostalgic attachment to it for having seen it relatively young with my brothers and being deeply moved by it then, but it’s not at all like the kind of Nostalgia I have for “The Lion King”.  “Princess Mononoke” is just flat-out, full-stop a complete Masterpiece, not just my personal pick for one of the single-best animated films ever made, but one of the best films period.  It’s almost difficult for me to put into words how great this movie is, certainly in a way that hasn’t been repeated to death by thousands of other smarter people, because no one of its elements quite answers the question of why it is so great, to my mind.  Yes, the animation is absolutely gorgeous with a design sensibility that brings Ancient Mythology to life so vividly that its influence can still be felt today (The Forest Spirit alone has been homaged all over the place).  And yes, the music is hauntingly beautiful, at once capturing the gentle rhythm of nature but also the elegiac tone of Life Moving On.  And yes, the story is an incredible mixture of the Broad Mythic Strokes of an Ancient Legend grounded in all too human Emotions and Ideas about the balance of nature, the full meaning and cost of Warfare, and perhaps most important of all, about how we determine Right and Wrong when everyone involved in a conflict is fighting simply for the right to survive.  But all of those things add up together to something even greater than a simple sum, because each one isn’t just good in its own right but because each element so perfectly reinforces the other.  And even having said all that?  I really could just carry on singing this movie’s praises.  Just...an absolute masterpiece, top to bottom.

1.) 

I don’t imagine any of you are terribly surprised at this, right?  I almost feel like it’d be redundant to explain my love for this movie, given how self-obvious I imagine it is to basically everyone who knows me Literally At All.  But heck, I’ve rambled on this long, why not go all the way?  Because the thing of it is, “Gojira” (to be clear, the original Japanese movie from 1954 rather than its American edit, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” from 1956) doesn’t just top the list by being a Great Movie.  Though to be clear, it really is.  Flawless?  No; there’s a reliance on puppetry that even for the time can be a bit chintzier than the movie can really afford, in particular.  But brilliant, even so, a heart-wrenching example of Science Fiction Storytelling As Allegory, one that, in a rarity not just for its own genre but indeed for many movies in general, very meaningfully lingers on its deepest, darkest implications.  Many a film critic has pointed it out, and it remains true: the stark black-and-white photography heightens the sense of Implacable Horror at the core of the story, and the way the central Melodrama, a tragic love triangle that carries with it many aspects of Class Conflict and Personal Desire VS. The Collective Good, ties back into the main story is truly beautiful in its elegance and emotional impact.  Still, for me personally, it tops the list, now and always, because it is a movie that affirmed something for me, that the character I had fallen in love with as a child convincing his family to watch a monster movie with him on television to prove his seven-year-old bravery, really was as genuinely as powerful and meaningful a figure as I had always imagined him to be. 

[dreamingdolls]

Top Ten Games of the Decade

Inspired by my friend @luniil I figured I would try and write down my top ten games of the decade before we ring in the new year. This list is quite obviously going to be extremely subjective. Note that I am limiting myself to one game per franchise to avoid potential bias there.

With that said, let’s kick this thing off, shall we?

#10 - World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

Whatever my thoughts on WoW are today, I will never deny that for a long time it was my main game, barely playing anything else at all. Mists of Pandaria then was by far my favorite expansion. Challenge Modes were a blast, the new Monk class quickly became my favorite and for the most part the writing was great. Pandaria was shrouded in mystery - as Thrall told us in the trailer - and much of the writing reflected that. After years of expansions pulling from the past, this stuff felt new and fresh, while not out of place either. Throne of Thunder is and will probably always be my favorite raid instance of all time as well, with quite honestly every single fight there being enjoyable from start to finish.

#9 - Undertale

The tears. Oh FUCK the tears when I reached that ending. And then the tears when I learned that wasn’t the end at all and there was more if I rebooted the game - they got me with that one. I was extremely late to the party with Undertale, only starting playing it as late as half a year ago, but I was inspired by Rey to try it out and I absolutely loved it. Bonus points for the 4th wall breaking throughout - a trope I admittedly might enjoy too much.

#8 - Hearthstone

This game got me into card games. I mean, I dabbled with some Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh cards as a kid but that was more of a collecting thing than actually playing the games. The polish on this game is honestly amazing from the voice acting on every card, the animations, the trinkets and odds to mess around with on every board... It’s a great game to play when I’m not really in the mood for something too intense and just want to sit back and play some joke decks.

#7 - WildStar / TERA

I’m cheating a little here by listing two games as a pair because both are here for very similar reasons, and I wouldn’t really feel right listing either above the other. I play MMOs. Like, it’s probably my favorite genre. I love the social interactions and as I play on a relatively limited budget compared to most of my friends, the constant updates and stuff to do is a very big draw for me as well. However, I’ve always felt the combat could be a bit... More involved beyond just hitting buttons on a hotbar. WildStar and TERA then seemed like the answer to my cries, taking a more action combat approach to the genre. I *loved* playing these games and it’s unfortunate the communities in both seemed to dry up so easily. Evidently I am in a minority enjoying these, but I have fond memories of both. RIP WildStar.

#6 - Pokemon B/W2

I had to really think hard which Pokemon game I would be listing here. One way or another one would get a spot but I wasn’t sure which. I loved mega evolutions, and regional forms were an amazing idea too. For all the hate Sword/Shield have gotten, I’ve still gotten a ton of fun out of them as well. But ultimately? All of these I liked for a gimmick. Megas, Regionals, Raids... Each of them a great idea but none of them defining the core experience. Black/White 2, on the other hand, was the first game where I wanted to get my main team to 100, and where I actually wanted to put thought into my main team as opposed to just kinda rolling with whatever I run into. The story was great, the returning characters were great, and the variety of Pokemon in a playthrough was incredible. Easily one of the best Pokemon games of all time.

#5 - Super Smash Bros Ultimate

There isn’t a world where this couldn’t make the list. I grew up with Smash from the N64 days. I love the crossover aspect and seeing everyone return in one game, plus newcomers including, at last, BANJO? This game is why I bought a Switch in the first place, and it continues to be one of the best decisions I’ve made. For the first time I’ve dabbled in competitive play as well, and I’ve been loving every moment of it, even the losses. World of Light was a blast to play through and having each character’s Classic mode follow it’s own theme was brilliant. Ultimate indeed.

#4 - Mario Galaxy 2

HOLD THE PITCHFORKS! Had it not been for my one game per franchise rule Odyssey would have made it on to the list. However, between the two, Galaxy 2 easily wins out as the better game. Odyssey had a lot - to the point of fatigue in some cases. Yes, there are 880 moons versus 242 stars, but a good chunk of the moons felt tacked on towards the end of the game. Galaxy 2 on the other hand was a blast from the very first star all the way to the last. It took the idea of Galaxy and made it easily ten times better, and where most people are hoping for an Odyssey 2 or Sunshine remake... I’m lowkey praying for a Galaxy 3.

#3 - Skyrim

Skyrim is not perfect. I’m going to say that right away. Plenty of bugs including some gamebreaking ones are about. But with that said, I still got an easy 350 hours of joy out of the game and still have stuff left unexplored. See, being that I’m gaming on a budget longevity is very much a part in how I rate games. I’d rather buy a good game that lasts me forever than an amazing game of 5 hours with no replay value, and Skyrim is full of the former. And while it might not be perfect, it’s still got a lot of good things going for it on top of that replay value. That is why it deserves it’s spot on my list.

#2 - Life is Strange

Excuse me while I cry my eyes out please? There isn’t much I will write on the actual story here as I don’t want to spoil things for Rey (with whom I’m replaying the game as of late) or any other reader that might pick the game up, but few games have made me as emotional as this series. There’s some cheesy jokes that might be trying a bit too hard, but in general the actual story is brilliant.

#1 - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

Dear reader, let’s run back through the previous points I’ve made in this post for a minute before we properly dive into the number one pick here. I’ve mentioned a love for MMOs and their social aspects. I’ve mentioned a love for stories that aren’t afraid to shake the norm up a little. I’ve told you about valuing replay-ability, which the job system in FFXIV definitely offers. And, I’ve mentioned a love for games that make me cry my heart out.

Shadowbringers got all of that and then some.

Never did I think a MMO’s story could bring me to tears quite as badly as Shadowbringers did. I always kinda accepted well, a MMO is just that first, RPG second, prioritizing the online experience above a coherent story. Shadowbringers took that and threw it in my face, telling me no, damnit, I can do both. Even characters I wasn’t all that fond of on a personal level, the game does such a great job at establishing them that if they kill anyone off my face is full of tears in a matter of seconds. But they don’t even need to go that far. The storywriting is strong enough that even without shock value moments I’ve bawled my eyes out on my keyboard. Shadowbringers is a heartbreak in the best way possible, and that’s not even mentioning the music or hell, the actual gameplay yet.

“Remember.. Remember us. Remember, that we once lived.”

[chongoblog]

Hey I know that you all see me as the Grand Authority on Movie Opinions in that I am correct and can never be wrong and also my opinion on things is NEVER unsolicited because I’m literally the most important person on the internet and you CRAVE my opinions.

So I saw Shazam last night and I’m gonna talk about it under this readmore because I dunno how long it’s gonna be and I respect y’all’s dashes like that (plus if y’all don’t care abt what I thought then you can keep scrolling). There will be spoilers but I will clearly mark them.

So I’ve been thinking to myself on whether or not Shazam was the best DCEU movie. All things considered, it didn’t have too high of a bar to leap over, seeing how Wonder Woman, which was originally my favorite, had a lot of incredible moments, but was bogged down by a few of the scenes around those moments and a frankly terrible final act. And if I were to put it into numbers, (which people seem to love) I’d put Wonder Woman at about 50% INCREDIBLE 20% ehhhh and 30% GOD WHY, plus add a few bonus points for being so inspiring within its social context as a female-led superhero movie that isn’t terrible, sexualized or both. Shazam, on the other hand, doesn’t get those bonus points of social context, but has about a 60% Pretty Good and 40% ehhhh with one small bonus point for having one scene that personally hit me pretty hard that I’ll talk about later. It doesn’t reach any of the LOWS that any other film in the DCEU had, but at the same time, it didn’t really hit any of the highs either.

Something that’s worth addressing is that as someone who likes to partake in any and all drama because I’m a gremlin who loves seeing complaining, I saw plenty of DC fans complain that this movie was falling into a sort of trap set up saying “ITS ONLY BEING LIGHTHEARTED BECAUSE IT THINKS THAT IT HAS TO BE MORE LIKE MARVEL AND THATS WHY MORE PEOPLE LIKE IT” and I do want to address that because it’s a stupid argument. While Shazam is a departure from the DCEU’s more serious tone thus far, it’s not a black and white deal. DC isn’t strictly defined by being “the more serious Marvel” or vice versa. Being lighthearted did help Shazam out, not BECAUSE it was more like a Marvel movie, but because unlike movies like Batman v Superman, it didn’t try (and fail) to tackle more complex themes and down to earth schemes that made it lose focus and become an enormous mess. That being said, Shazam’s schemes and themes were much simpler, and it made for a much SMALLER mess if/when it did lose focus.

Before I dive into the spoilers, I’ll give my two cents on the film as a whole. Like I mentioned, the light-hearted tone did help out the movie, and it took itself a little less seriously with things while still balancing out some emotion in the story, and the whole theme behind it, while not PERFECTLY drawn out, still had a coherent message behind it. Visually, the movie was definitely trying to break out of the Zack Snyder mold that had been set up back with Man Of Steel, and while it still chills out in Low Saturation City a lot of the time, it IS doing a better job. Zachary Levi definitely deserves a shoutout in this movie for probably being the second best actor in the DCEU closely behind Gal Gadot in terms of casting choices, perfectly encapsulating the idea of Shazam, and pulling off the role of a Big Billy Batson, however he seems to have taken away the acting talent from half of the rest of the cast, because some of the acting in this movie is.....not great. And that’s not counting the child actors who did alright considering they’re child actors (Freddy in particular was fantastic).

The dialogue in this is pretty solid and indicative of the situation, and they really tried to lean into the idea that it’s some middle school (or early high I cant really remember) kid who just got these powers, and they do a pretty good job of that in both the dialogue and in the first half of the movie. And like I mentioned, there is a bit of Emotion in this movie that they really tried to deliver and they did a pretty good job delivering it. That being said, it’s very clear that they’re going for a kinda cheesy sort of vibe. Which makes sense, since the concept is Kid Becomes Superhero, which is ripe for picking like some kind of Cheese Tree....orchard.....thing.....and it leads to just a fun experience. It’s something that knows it shouldn’t be taken too seriously, which is why I’m writing an incredibly long analytical review of it, because I’m a curmudgeon like that.

ALRIGHT SPOILER TIME SCROLL DOWN TO THE VERY BOTTOM IF YOU DONT WANNA GET SPOILED

Lol alright so this spoiler section is gonna have a lot of negative points, so let me start with some positives.

The overall theme of this movie is sort of an idea of Found Family (which I’m an absolute sucker for), and there’s a subplot that follows this idea where Billy is looking for his mom. The movie starts showing a flashback where Billy’s mom gives him a compass saying “it’ll always help you find your way home” and then very shortly afterward, Billy gets himself seperated from his mother and had to be put into foster care and is now searching for his mother by looking everywhere he can to the point it causes him to run away multiple times. It’s not too surprising how this ends, with him finding his mother, only to find out that she just didn’t pick him up because she was 17 at the time and felt she COULDN’T take care of him. And that’s the point when he realizes “maybe my REAL family were the kids in the foster home all along”. Billy Batson sees that his birth mother’s life is tumultuous, taking on new lovers, working part time jobs, and not having time to even consider caring for Billy, moreso just hoping he turned out alright. Billy, as a sort of symbolic gesture, hands his mother the compass saying “you’ll need this more than me”. And then she replies with two words that just killed me for some reason.

“What’s this?”

I don’t know. It was a line that hit me. Kinda reflecting that sort of disconnect. Alright enough being nice, let’s talk things that are Alright but could be better.

The villain was alright. His character was pretty fun at the beginning, but after he got revenge on his father for Toxic Masculinity™ he became pretty boring, acting more like a CGI Monster Vending Machine. Of course it kinda leads into the whole Cheesy vibe they were going for, but it’s hard to make your movie seem like it’s gonna be campy and cheesy when your villain doesn’t really fall into the role once he actually fights the hero (also with the color palette). Just wish they would’ve sorta gone full Sam Raimi and just leaned into the campiness, with this movie kinda afraid to jump into the pool past its bathing suit.

And then there was the climax of the movie in the carnival, where I felt like it went a little bit downhill, not really being the best that it could be, but still pretty serviceable. The director seemed to be REALLY into using slo-mo, using it a little more than necessary to the point of being distracting, and while the Shazam concept was used in a few fun creative ways, there were some moments where it could have had more utility, or one moment in particular when he absolutely needed to change back and probably had time to say “Shazam” like twenty times over, but he didn’t, which was a LITTLE frustrating, but that’s way more nitpicky. Speaking of nitpicks, there were a few shots that were.....questionable (most notably the Santa.....moment? It seemed to be a clear funny moment, but it didn’t really land and didn’t flow either)

And also the climax has a bit of a fun twist moment that helps round out the Found Family moment where all of Billy’s adopted family also become superheroes, which is pretty sweet, but there was one SMALL nitpick that doesn’t overwhelmingly detract from anything but I found strange. Every character had a power, with one person showing the super strength, another showing super speed, another with lightning, another with flying, which were Shazam’s powers. And then Mary was there....and we don’t really get to see her powers? I did research and apparently she’s a character in the comics with all the powers of Shazam, but Mary was one of the only other characters with an arc and we don’t get to see her with any powers, which is a bit weird (we also don’t get to see her arc formally conclude. We can draw conclusions but still). So in the end it looks like Mary essentially kinda got Kairi’d. Oof.

But that’s really it for spoilers, in terms of the “bad” it’s really just that it didn’t really give it enough of an impact and while it knew what it wanted to be and isn’t disingenuous about it, it also doesn’t really commit to BEING what it wants to be.

ALRIGHT SPOILERS ARE ALL DONE YOU CAN LOOK NOW HERES MY BOTTOM LINE

Bottom line is that this movie is definitely flawed, and after consideration I don’t think I’d put it at the top of the DCEU, if only because Wonder Woman reached higher points than this one did, but that shouldn’t be a slight against Shazam at all. Heck, I would consider putting it a little bit above Captain Marvel if we’re inevitably comparing rivals.

So all in all I give it a Shazam/10. A good fun time. Not the BEST movie you’ll see this year, but you’re there to have a good time and you’ll have it.