#body pls work for me
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here we go :) part one of three, updates to be released weekly!
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sam says 4 (game master cinematic universe, part 3)
Ruby was at her mum's for a family dinner she couldn't miss on pain of death, apparently, and the Doctor was many things, but a family dinner kind of guy wasn't one of them—particularly when Carla had already slapped him once in the short time he'd known her. He thought he'd broken his streak of bad luck with mums, but… well, seemingly not. So he was companionless for a few hours, and while he could wait for her to get back, maybe catch up on his reading—what was the point of waiting when you had a time machine?
He ran his hands over the TARDIS console, marvelling at her clean lines and metallic flourishes, the way that even now she felt brand new but familiar, and paused. He’d just pop off for a quick adventure, nothing too dangerous, but—where to go?
He could scan for a distress call nearby, and pitch in to help. He could drop in on Donna and Shaun and Rose, beautiful Rose, and see how they were all doing. Or he could just hit the randomiser button, and jump in feet first wherever he ended up.
He remembered a conversation from a long time ago, when he wore a different face, and his gorgeous TARDIS wore a face too, for the first and only time.
“You didn't always take me where I wanted to go.”
“No, but I always took you where you needed to go.”
He grinned. Who could resist an offer like that? He pressed the button and whooped as the time rotor spun into action, ready to see where the universe would take him.
---
Apparently, he was needed pretty close to where he already was. Earth, 2024. Huh. Same planet, same time—within a few months of where he’d left Ruby, even. The main thing that had changed was the location: he was now in the good old US of A. California, to be more specific, and Los Angeles to be more specific still. And to really narrow it down, the Doctor discovered as he poked his head out of the TARDIS doors, he was in… a broom closet. Not bad, as a parking spot—a bit squeezy, but out of the way. And as he poked his head out of that door, he could finally see he was in the backstage corridors of a studio of some kind. Film or TV, if he was to hazard a guess, it was a different vibe from Abbey Road.
With a shrug, he decided to go exploring.
It couldn’t have been more than a minute before a young woman wearing the full-black outfit, headset, and permanently stressed expression of a production assistant came running up to him.
“Are you the fill-in Sam organised?” she asked breathlessly, and honestly, seeing the look on her face, the Doctor didn’t have the heart(s) to tell her no. And really, what was the Doctor, if not a professional fill-in? This, this was why he had a randomiser button on the control panel, because whatever he was about to get himself into was going to be fun.
“Sure!”
“Oh, thank god,” sighed the production assistant, relief dawning across her face. “When Ally tested positive this morning, I thought we were sunk for the record, because we called around and we couldn’t get a hold of anyone. But then Sam said he could get someone in, and, you know, here you are, and just in time, so—ah, yeah, if you could follow me this way?”
Smiling all the way, the Doctor followed his guide through to hair and makeup, looking around as they went. The studio seemed to belong to a company called Dropout, according to the branding scattered around, and things seemed, at least on the surface, to be… well. Fine. He couldn't tell why he'd been brought here yet, which meant that when he found the reason, it was going to be particularly tangled. He couldn't wait!
And then he looked back at his guide, still engulfed in a miasma of anxiety, and realised he'd been too busy looking for clues to notice the person right in front of him.
“Hey, it's cool, you've found me,” he started with a gentle smile. “You can relax. Hi, I'm the Doctor. What's your name?”
“Oh!” she said, startled. “The Doctor, yeah, of course. Um, hi, I'm Kaylin. Look, sorry, it's just that I've been so busy this morning, I'm so distracted… Shit, and I would've completely forgotten to get your details too. There's paperwork to fill in, but you can do that later. Um, just for now, though, can I get your pronouns?”
The Doctor thought for a moment. “He/him, for now.”
Kaylin nodded, making a note on her phone. “Okay, cool! And do you have any socials?”
“Not me, babes,” he replied. “I'm hardly sitting down long enough to be able to update, you know?”
“On a day like this, I know exactly what you mean,” she said. “That's okay, Lou didn't have socials either for the longest time. Right, so if you go through there, the team will get you sorted, and once you're done, someone will take you up to the greenroom. All good?”
“All great,” the Doctor replied. Kaylin flashed him a quick, relieved smile, then hurried off.
Hair and makeup was a fairly quick process, the sound mixer fitted him with a microphone, and before too long, Kaylin was back to take him upstairs.
“This is the greenroom,” she said, pushing the door open. “The rest of the cast for the episode are already here—they’re great guys, and they’ve both been on the show a lot, so they’ll be able to help if you’ve got questions. And if you need anything else, just come find me or any of the other PAs, okay?”
The Doctor nodded, beamed at Kaylin, and walked in.
---
The greenroom was small but comfortable, and its occupants, two men around the same age as the Doctor appeared, looked up as he entered.
“Oh, you’re new,” the taller of the pair said, clearly giving him the once-over.
The other sighed with a mixture of fondness and exasperation, just as clearly used to his friend’s antics.
“Hey, I’m Brennan,” he said, levering himself up to standing from his perch on a chair arm, and holding out a hand. “That’s Grant.”
The Doctor took it warmly. “The Doctor. Just passing through, and happy to help.”
Grant’s eyebrows quirked. “Doctor… something?” he prompted.
“Or is it just ‘the Doctor’?” Brennan asked.
“Just ‘the Doctor’,” the Time Lord confirmed cheerfully. “You’ll get used to it, everyone does.”
Grant didn’t look convinced, but—
“Copy that,” Brennan shrugged, and settled back on the arm of the chair, returning his gaze to the door.
Grant, in turn, looked at the Doctor and rolled his eyes in a clear expression of ‘no, I don’t know why he’s like this, either’.
“Okay,” the Doctor said after a moment of watching the watching. “I wasn’t going to ask, but now I think I have to. What’s up with the door?”
Brennan huffed a laugh. “Well, the last time there was one of those up—” he pointed to the Out of Order sign stuck to the bathroom door, “—we got locked in here for the game.”
“He’s paranoid,” Grant interjected.
“Well, yeah, maybe,” Brennan retorted. “Or just cautious. Because Sam’s been acting weird lately, and we’re coming up to the last few records of the season, so he’s probably planning something way out of the box for the finale. And the original cast was you, me and Beardsley, so…”
He shrugged one shoulder meaningfully, and Grant nodded, conceding both the point and the potential for chaos.
“So if Sam comes in to give us the briefing, rather than waiting til we’re on set,” Brennan continued, “or there’s anything else weird going on, I’m gonna know about it right from the beginning.”
He turned to the Doctor. “The only reason I'm not quizzing you is because I know for a fact Beardsley was genuinely scheduled for this, so you can't be a plant by the production team. No offence.”
“None taken,” the Doctor smiled. “That sort of thing happen often, does it?”
Grant and Brennan exchanged a look.
“More than you'd think,” Grant answered with a grimace.
“Alright,” the Doctor said slowly, then brightened. “So what is it we're actually doing?”
Grant gave him a disbelieving glance. “You don't know—?”
“Very last minute fill-in,” the Doctor said breezily. “But don't worry, I'm a quick study.”
“Well, you're not that much worse off than the rest of us,” Brennan said encouragingly. “You know about Game Changer, obviously, if you know Sam, and we only find out the rules of the game once we get on set. Hopefully,” he added, with a dark look back at the Out of Order sign.
The Doctor nodded. No, he didn't know Sam, and he didn't know Game Changer, but he could work out the situation from context clues. This was a game show. And with the Toymaker banished, and Satellite Five not coming into existence for another 198000 years, give or take, he found himself smiling. Maybe third time would be the charm.
“Mmm, hopefully they aren't going to throw you in the deep end,” Grant said. “Because Brennan might seem lovely now, but as soon as we get out there, he's a whore for points. He'll stab you in the back and won't even blink.”
Brennan barked with laughter. “Yeah, and you wouldn't?”
“Excuse you, I'm always a goddamn delight,” Grant replied, the very picture of injured dignity.
“Oh, absolutely!” agreed a new voice. The Doctor turned to the now-open door to see a bearded man in a pinstriped suit smiling broadly. “That's why we keep inviting you back!”
Grant bowed sarcastically. “Why, thank you, Sam. Good to know I'm appreciated by someone here.”
“Always,” Sam replied, gently but firmly ending that particular path of the conversation. He scanned the room, and his eyes lit up when they landed on the Doctor.
“Ah, you must be the Doctor!” he said with obvious delight, walking over with his hand outstretched. “I'm Sam—thanks for filling in for us, you've made sure we're going to have a good show. Seriously, it's a pleasure to have you here.”
“Aw, cheers!” the Doctor smiled, shaking the offered hand. “Glad I could help out, I'm really looking forward to this!”
“Well, great!” Sam exclaimed, then took a step back, regarding all three players in turn. “Now, folks, I'm just letting you know that we're just about ready to start the record, so if you can start heading down, that'd be great.”
Grant and Brennan nodded—Brennan, the Doctor noticed, with relief.
“See you down there,” Sam said, smiling. “Have a great show, and—”
His eyes caught on the Doctor's for a second, twinkling.
“Good luck.”
---
Backstage, the Doctor, Brennan and Grant were marshalled into podium order and given a final briefing from the crew. And then, with a thumbs-up from Kaylin, that was it.
Showtime.
“Get ready for a Game Changer!” came Sam's voice from onstage. “Tonight’s guests: he can shoot off a monologue with laser accuracy; it’s Brennan Lee Mulligan!”
Brennan, his back to the camera as the curtains opened, spun on his heel and, with a stone-cold expression, pointed finger guns straight down the barrel, before letting the facade crack open. “Hi!” he exclaimed, and walked over to the leftmost podium.
“It’s his first appearance, but he’s already on fire; it’s the Doctor!”
The Doctor leant against the archway to the stage and flashed a broad smile towards the camera, then in a few skipping steps, had bounded over to the next free podium. What the hell, why not make an entrance?
“And even in the toughest of mazes, you’ll always be able to find him; it’s Grant O’Brien!”
Grant dipped his lanky frame into an approximation of a curtsey, spreading his arms wide, then sauntered over to the closest podium with a grin.
“And your host, me!” Sam announced, a ring of manic white showing around his irises as he beamed down the barrel of the camera. “I’ve been here the whole time!”
“This,” he continued, pushing his microphone shut and stowing it in his jacket pocket, “is Game Changer, the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Sam Reich!”
As he said his name, he looked at his hands, front and back, as if he was pleasantly surprised to be himself, then gestured towards the three podiums.
“I am joined today by these three lovely contestants! Now, you understand how the game works.”
“Of course not,” Grant started. “You know we don't.”
“We can't, Sam, that's the whole point of the theatre you've set up here,” Brennan said over him.
“Not yet,” was all the Doctor said, anticipation starting to drum a tattoo of excitement against the inside of his ribcage.
“That’s right!” Sam said brightly, shooting finger guns at the camera. “Our players have no idea what game it is they’re about to play. The only way to learn is by playing. The only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning! So without further ado, let’s begin by giving each of our players fifty points.”
The Doctor, biding his time, watched the reactions of his fellow contestants. Grant looked at the front of his podium, checking the point total, and nodding approvingly when he saw that yes, it was sitting at a round fifty. Brennan, on the other hand, was starting to frown.
“Players, Sam says: touch your nose,” Sam began, and Brennan sighed the sigh of someone who wasn’t happy to be proved right.
“Oh, no,” he groaned. “Oh, you son of a bitch. Wasn’t one this season enough?”
He touched his nose anyway, as did the others, and Sam smiled encouragingly. “Sam says: touch your ear.”
When they all did, Sam nodded. “Touch your other ear.”
Everybody held still, fingers on the ears they had originally touched.
Sam beamed. “Easy, players, right?”
“You say that now,” Brennan said darkly. “Which makes it worse, because all you're doing is setting us up for failure.”
Sam gasped, pretending offence. “Would I do that?”
“Yes,” Brennan and Grant replied in unison, which drew a grin from the Doctor and set Sam off chuckling.
“And I'm not having it,” Brennan continued, leaning his elbows against his podium and pointing at Sam with the hand not touching his ear. “You better watch yourself, because I know how this game works, and you're not going to get one over on me.”
“Strong words, Brennan!” Sam said, clearly delighted by this response. “Okay, then, let's start making things a bit more interesting!”
The game continued as per Sam Says usual, some rounds done as a group and some individual. Points were won, sure, but lost slightly more frequently, and even the Doctor found he was having to concentrate to avoid getting caught in the host's traps.
It was fun. Genuinely, it was like playing a game with friends, and the Doctor felt himself leaning into it. There wasn't any sign of danger—maybe there wasn't a mystery to solve at all, and the TARDIS just decided he needed a total break.
Well, probably not. But the way things were going, he was able to let himself hope.
“Alright, players,” Sam said a good few rounds in, just as pleasantly as he would start any other question, and the screen behind him dinged as a new prompt popped up. “Survive the death beam.”
For a second, everything was frozen perfectly still.
And then came the crash, the explosive noise of heavy machinery moving relentlessly through a drywall set.
The Doctor was already moving. “Everyone down!”
“Duck!” Brennan yelled at the same time.
The two of them hit the ground within milliseconds of each other, but Grant was still paralysed in the face of the giant, science-fiction type laser cannon that had just ploughed through the wall.
It whined ominously, screaming its way to fever pitch. And then a sharp pain in Grant’s ankle made him stagger, pitching forwards onto the carpet behind the podiums as the Doctor rolled away to avoid getting pinned.
“Sorry, babes,” the Doctor whispered. “But it was either kick you to get you down, or—”
A hideous metallic screech ripped through the air, and all three of them could feel the crackle of ozone as a beam of energy swept across what had, moments ago, been neck height.
“…Or that,” the Doctor finished with a grimace.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Grant breathed, suddenly very conscious of every inch of his 6’9 frame. “Thanks.”
“Well done, players!” Sam exclaimed delightedly from above them. “But… sorry, I didn’t say ‘Sam says’, so that’s a point off for everyone.”
“What the fuck!” Brennan snapped.
“Are you actually insane?” Grant demanded at the same time, his voice overlapping with Brennan’s.
In response, Sam just wheezed with laughter. “You can come back to your podiums,” he said, cheerfully ignoring them.
Nobody moved.
“Very good!” he acknowledged, and even without seeing his face, the grin was obvious in his voice. “Okay, Sam says: come back to your podiums.”
Although the words were innocuous, and his tone was just as light and breezy as usual, there was nevertheless an edge hiding just underneath the surface. And while the death beam loomed large in the minds of all three players, it was impossible to consider disobedience as an option.
Slowly, they stood, returning to their places. Now they had the time to look at it properly, the death beam was even more sinister, and Brennan and Grant both kept flicking nervous glances its way, ready to move if it looked like it was charging up again.
The Doctor, however, was focused purely on the man standing in front of them. Unbothered, Sam met his gaze like a challenge, a mischievous smile playing about his lips.
“Oh, you’ll love this one,” he said, and the screen changed. “Sam says, starting with Grant: say my name.”
Grant frowned in confusion, but answered quickly nonetheless. “Sam Reich?”
The man himself shrugged tolerantly, moving on. “Brennan?”
Brennan just stared at him coolly. “Do you take me for a fool?”
“Well caught, Brennan!” Sam said happily. “Sam says: say my name.”
“Sam,” Brennan replied, suspicion clear in his voice. “Samuel Dalton Reich.”
He nodded, still with a hint of indifference. “And lastly, Doctor.” His smile broadened. “Sam says: say my name.”
It was easy. Too easy. And as the Doctor looked into the eyes of the man calling himself Sam Reich, he felt his hearts stutter in recognition, because something had changed. He wasn’t hiding himself anymore, and while the face was different yet again, the Doctor would know the shape of that soul anywhere. It was impossible. It was inevitable.
“You can’t be,” he breathed.
Sam smirked, leaning in across his podium. “Oh, but Doctor… I’ve been here the whole time,” he stage-whispered with a wink.
“He said you lost,” the Doctor said, shaking his head, looking wrong-footed for the first time that Brennan and Grant could recall. “You lost, and he trapped you.”
The other two watched, uncomprehending, but Sam just smiled, drumming his fingers against the podium with an audible beat, fast but distinct. Four taps, four taps, four taps. “I’m waiting.”
The Doctor took a slow, deep breath. Set his jaw.
“Master.”
---
missed an installment of the game master cinematic universe?
original idea by @ace-whovian-neuroscientist: x
art by @northernfireart concept: x scissor sisters sketch: x sam and his doppelganger: x
writing by me (!) part one (escape the greenroom): x part two (deja vu): x part three (sam says 4): you are here!
#game master#sam reich!master#doctor who#dw#dropout#game changer#you know what let's chuck some character tags in here#15th doctor#the master#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#grant o'brien#kaylin mahoney#clari speaks#clari writes#ah darlings i'm putting my chat down here rather than in the post body for once#so i've thought of this whole saga as 'part three' but i will be a) titling them all and b) just keeping on numbering the parts sequentiall#rather than 'part three part one' etc#otherwise we're getting into homestuck act titling territory and that is ground i do not wish to tread#also fuck i hope i've got the time zones right#i'm planning to post this when an episode of game changer would ordinarily be released. to plug the gap. to tide us over.#(the finale trailer is so delightfully unhinged and i cannot wait til next week)#anyway gang this one was wild#the slight but significant genre shift from 'game changer with doctor who elements' to 'doctor who with game changer elements'#it was fun to write! and hopefully fun to read :)#also i MUST say that eugene northernfireart has a baller comic in the works that this entire thing is based on#this is thousands of words of setup and continuation because the sketch idea was so good it possessed me#and we decided that it had to be a proper dw episode#(hey rtd hire me pls)#anyway eugene is on hiatus bc of life so in the meantime go give him love and be Fuckin Hyped for the comic when it appears bc i know i am
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the great irony of early one piece antagonists believing zoro was the actual captain and using luffy as a puppet ... oda really threw us a bone and curb-stomped it right in our faces. yes, zoro could be a captain in his own right. yes, zoro could match luffy in strength. yes, zoro knows this perfectly well. and you know what? he chose luffy two years ago, and he will continue to choose luffy again and again. roronoa zoro, the pirate hunter, who followed a wannabe pirate with a nonexistent crew on a whim because luffy brought him his swords and made a half-assed attempt at a bargain. zoro, who made a vow to never lose again on both his and luffy's honor. zoro, who told luffy he'd make him commit harakiri if he got in the way of zoro's goal, only to turn around and be willing to sacrifice his dream if it means that luffy reaches his. zoro, who stood in place and took luffy's pain and told a warlord to take his head instead of luffy's, who got down on his knees before his supposed rival and begged mihawk to mentor him so that he could return strong enough to protect his captain. zoro, who has conqueror's haki- a natural born leader- but chooses to stay at the right hand of a man he has deemed greater than himself.
and the thing that luffy fears most? being alone. being rejected. being left behind. and what should have been his foil- the pirate hunter to his pirate king, the nonbeliever to his divine, the king of hell to his sun god- instead becomes his first and most devout follower; the one who demands to follow him to hell and back. oughhhggg i'm sick to my stomach
#one piece#roronoa zoro#monkey d luffy#zolu#what the hell is wrong with him#the very definition of becoming bewitched body and soul#do you get me#luffy is zoro's helen of troy#in that#he'd launch a thousand ships to put a smile on luffy's face#i need to crack open that mossy green head of his and see what's going on inside#has anyone told oda that he could possibly be cooking one of the greatest love stories the shounen genre has ever seen#one piece is a 26 year long ongoing slowburn#luffy: it's rotten work!!! ^_^#zoro: yeah i fuckin know but god what does it matter. it's for you#pls dont tag as platonic lmao
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Happy pride month.
(reference under read more)
#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#harrykim#kimharry#i just relized that I forgot to color the fuckin tie#im tired so lets just pretend its another tie he has that's just green#mesh tank top my beloved#i used to have some really good body hair brushes back when I used clip studio all the time#i miss those brushes and I don't have the patience to draw individual strands of body hair#so if someone reading this has a good body hair brush that works on procreate... pls send me a link#i love drawing body hair but i am very impatient#also send me dumb meme references and I will probably draw them
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goth stan, football stan… i love stan
#IM BACK FROM VACATION!!!!!!#I MISSED DRAWING THEM SO SO MUCH#choosing to read through almost all of hollycombs fics while away was… an interesting choice#if anyone else has feelings about her body of work… pls talk to me LMAO#sp style#south park#YAY
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does anyone have any lying down setups for drawing/painting/ANYTHING else lol
what I am learning from my imp today is that if I am lying flat I can get my bpm down to 75 but the moment I sit up it goes to 95, and the lowest I can get it while sitting up is 85
I think if I had more activity options while lying down that were not Be On Phone, I would be less bored and therefore do less overexerting myself in order to simply relieve boredom (problem that I have frequently)
#pls dont be like 85 isnt so bad! or whatever the numbers are numbers that show me how hard my heart is working simply to be upright#by not being upright i can be gentler on my heart and body is the point#and conserve energy etc. to avoid crashes#sick
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guess who’s back and dadder than ever ;)
edit/ i added a 2nd page!
#mine#tony stark#marvel#in this house we objectify saviours of the universe#ok ive been drawing power lifter superbat for a hot minute pls forgive me i need to remember how other body types work#mcu#iron man
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Man, sometimes living alone with ADHD really do be like:
Me: Huh, I wonder why I'm so shaky and tired and seeing spots everywhere
Also me: *hasn't eaten food in two days, hasn't had water in just as long, has been hunched over current hyper fixation for hours without moving, hasn't seen sunlight in days*
Me: .... Just one of life's great mysteries I suppose
#ayo can i replace my sensors or something?? jfc i would love a check engine light pls and thx#i know its crazy but imagine if your body had a way of telling you that it needed water or food? like how wild would that be#huh? whats that? thirst? hunger? whos that? i don't know them#i LIKE food. i LIKE being hydrated. I LIKE being healthy. itd be super fucking cool if my brain actually worked and. y'know. told me shit#like when im about to die of dehydrated. itd be super fucking cool if it could do that#aaaaaaugggh#don't mind the rant. im cool. im fine. im just frustrated that my body refuses to cooperate with me and im shitty at knowing my tells#personal rant#adhd
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Just had the worst Terrible Horrible No-Good Idea
Okay so let's say that jarthur fulfills their end of Kayne's deal and by some big fucking miracle he actually upholds his promise, with no catches, caveats, or extra "surprises". They don't get any sort of punishment from him, he gives them their reward of being sent back to their world, a body for John, AND Arthur gets Faroe back (maybe not technically *his* faroe but I don't think it would matter to him all that much, idk u get the point). All carrot, no stick.
Kayne has been satisfied, with this timeline at least.
He leaves them alone.
. . . the same cannot be said for Horig.
#had this thought at about 9:30 this morning while washing dishes for kitchen prep at work & had to go scream in the walk-in fridge for a bit#anyway enjoy the poisons of my sadistic mind :D#...AUGH NO BUT SEROIOSLY ok so like. idk where in the world arthur would be but i dont think it matters.#he would be back *in his world*.#in 1934.#(or '35 idk how far along the passage of time has gone i nthis scenario)#*with Faroe*.#and idk for sure whether john would be given a human body or not but the direction things are goingwith his character development in canon#it seems likely.#so. Arthur Lester in 1934. Disciple of The Plague with the 2 people who mean the most to him. yeah.#imma go scream into my pillow for the next halfhour bye#(if someone wants to write anything like this pls tag me to lmk pls pls pls pls plssssss)#malevolent podcast#malevolent spoilers#malevolent s5 spoilers#lucifanbabbles#zizistuff
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room 276
#bibliomania#bibliomania manga#tw body horror#my art#lmk if anything else needs to be tagged u_u#this took so long…LOL#i’ve been working on it for like. two weeks but i’ve been wanting to draw it for MONTHS#it’s also probably the edgiest thing i’ve drawn. hm#i feel like..the dark evil fucked up hamburger helper mascot tweet….#BUT STILL IT WAS FUN TO DRAW#i also loooove drawing skulls….something abt it is so satisfying to me#maybe cuz of how clinical ??? it is???? IDK#anyways ummm. um#pls read bibliomania it’s very good :D#also if u saw me post this last night. NO U DIDNT <3
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Have some SkipperSkip art coming up from a year ago and wanted to redraw some of it so here’s a redraw! Comparison below :)
#my art#described#dimension 20#a starstruck odyssey#norman takamori#skip takamori#skipperskip#valdrinorman#I hope most valnorm shippers have seen me by now even if they’re not a fan of my work. pls know I love this slug and his human very much#skip sleeps on a lil wet washcloth just to keep him moisturized if he’s out of body next to Norman. does it make the pillow wet? yes.#norm just tries not to think about it too much lol. listen some wet is okay when skippy wants to sleep next to him
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I LOVE YOU TESTOSTERONE I LOVE YOU BODY HAIR I LOVE YOU WEIGHT GAIN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
#percy posts stuff#transgender moment#finally noticing significant changes !!#<<especially in terms of body hair. so so excited#pls got let me become a bear. ideal gender#whats that one post thats like. hrt weight gain is an angel. or smth like that#bc yeah..#its also like. even before i started it i was trying to gain weight rlly hard & it doesnt show for me naturally that much and now that im on#t it shows a lot more and its like. seeing the results of hard work#literally happier than i have ever been.#also today one of my friends whos a cis guy was like damn ur voice is deeper than mine now#and his voice is pretty high pitched but its still noticeably masc so. aghghough#anyway. theres hair on my legs now and its the best thing thats ever happened to me#peace and love on planet earth#trans joy#hrt#ftm
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the urge to delete all of my old works
#they r ruining my sanity#i just hate them#hatehatehate#they all conformed to the tumblr version of writing#which makes me ;(((#like that isnt meeee#smth took over my body#pls do not percieve me with my works#urggggg#like when i make new moots i get so embarrassed because ik they look at my writing to gauge my skills but#*loud groaning noises*#*louder groaning noises*#fr sky dhcsh g’s at your e rid dhee tree g my rhhh h stff he sn#the daughter of sorrow ࿇ ࣪ ˖
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(TW for body horror)
I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason, I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
- "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay
#vecna's generals#i have had this damn song stuck in my head for a week it's so fuckin good#also this took me over 30 hours of work across 4 days so pls love it#there is so much i wanna talk about with this au and this song's relation jesus christ someone shut me tf up- /lh#don't be surprised if i reblog this one day with an in-depth analysis of the cover art and the music choice and and and#im going mad the voices man the fuckin voices /pos#stranger things#stranger things au#chrissy cunningham#patrick mckinney#jason carver#billy hargrove#eddie munson#barbara holland#bob newby#fred benson#might make a part two for the party...?#tw body horror
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I have got yet another fuckin infection.
#personal*#jess talks#I..I’m so done#I want a new body pls#or just to die preferably#I’ve had 6 infections in the last year#that’s not normal right?#and they’ve all be in different places#I thought it was just cus I work with kids so I catch everything#but these have all been oddly specific??#like not flu related#my chest infection was#but like I had one in my scar tissue and one in my neck from too much muscle use#now I’ve got one in my gums I think#I just wanna die#can I have 1 MONTH of not getting ill pls#I don’t wanna go to the doctors anymore#I don’t wanna buy more meds#pls for the love of god#just murder me
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youtube
it’s arisa day but we get content of her brother in law and his bf instead ig
#happy arisa day enjoy ariken 2: ‘we kiss but only for work’ boogaloo#2 shirts + a jacket each do these guys ever get warm help#i leave for one afternoon to play sif2 only to get jumpscared by surprise lxl smh#but it’s a full animation huh….. ngl i was half expecting an anime with just bouncing chibis so this was a nice surprise#can we get heart pose in full 4k hd pl s#(but hey at least the animation looks a million times better than the [redacted] anime o o o p—)#shibaclown saturday#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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Been thinking a lot about Millions Knives and body horror 👀💭 Trimax spoilers from here
Ok so like yes he has his whole biblically accurate angel shit going on but that's too easy. It's scary it's body horror but. Imo, his definition of horror is just simply having a body. Unlike the dependent plants, he inhabits a body that can be ripped apart, flesh rended, viscera removed, and then put back together slowly piece by piece. Or not. I think Knives is HORRIFIED of dying and of getting hurt. He's afraid that what happened to Tesla could happen to him, wrt being corporeal. Having a body is horrific. He heals every wound, every injury, not because he can, but because he's terrified of reminders that he has a body that can be hurt. Even if he survived his injuries, the memory and the trauma of that pain lingers. Vash has scars and chooses not to heal them even though he can because he isn't afraid of death, and he wants the reminders, for his own reasons of course. That's a huge part of his character, he's not all that concerned about his own survival at the end of the day. That's another discussion I think. But that is all knives thinks about--survival. Existence without fear of being torn to shreds. He has to remain the most dangerous weapon on the planet, not only because he demands power, but also because he is terrified of what other weapons are capable of. Like a wild animal.
Also, thinking about Knives' hair from this perspective, the decay symbolizes his mortality. It also symbolizes Vash's. Vash on one hand uses his power and decays quickly, prepared to die, almost welcoming the physical reminder of his mortality and guilt, while Knives, determined to be stronger, attempts Godhood to delay the inevitably of his death as he sees his own twin decay. As he saw his own sister. His hair stays gold longer, not because he's better or stronger really, but because he's careful and scared, like a kid at the playground who's scared to go on any of the equipment because he fell off once. Anyway uhhh brainrot if knives lived post Trimax he'd probably get a paper cut and pass out
#trigun#meta#these are just my Thoughts im all hyped up on a drawing im working on pls ignore me#millions knives#body horror cw
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