#if anyone else has feelings about her body of work… pls talk to me LMAO
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goth stan, football stan… i love stan
#IM BACK FROM VACATION!!!!!!#I MISSED DRAWING THEM SO SO MUCH#choosing to read through almost all of hollycombs fics while away was… an interesting choice#if anyone else has feelings about her body of work… pls talk to me LMAO#sp style#south park#YAY
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Another one down. I was annoyed for like the first half of the chapter😭
My blood pressure every time the Red pal was mentioned 🔼🔼🔼
Cass has my full support on the dislike of their presence in the castle. SAME. The joy when I read that they finally left...
Anyway.
DANIELA
Daniela, tell me about the lily. What does the lily mean?
Pls her unintentionally killing her lovers coz she's not aware of her strength and the fear she'll hurt Reader too :(
This is always such a sad and heart-aching trope.
You out there doing god's work and giving the sisters different body types <3
But Dani being insecure :( like no, ma'am you're beautiful and perfect just the way you are. This little fly deserves all the reassurance and worship in the whole world 🛐🛐🛐
When you told me about sweet Dani scenes I didn't expect THAT 😳
But I'm not complaining, it was all really sweet indeed and had such safe and comfort vibes and like yes ✨communication ✨
Idk it warmed my heart. It wasn't like the usual stuff I come across in writing.
After the last chapter I was afraid that all the progress made with Cassandra was ruined and that it'd take some time to regain her trust and get on her good side again :/ but what a nice surprise it was that she and Reader talked and Reader even told her about the stuff with the other reality and Lunatic (even if she may think of them as crazy but they already seem like insane so ssdggh). It's good they opened up about it.
If it comes to it, perhaps Cass will be able to at least save her mama and sisters :(
What an even nicer surprise it was when Cass kissed them like oh my god ~200k words, ~30h of waiting for that very moment and it happened in quite unexpected circumstances considering Reader just fucked up badly a while ago.
And Cassandra was so cute with her kisses. Slightly confused about what she's supposed to do, unlike her sisters pls I love her.
It's so nice to see a different interpretation of her character😭
Anyway that was so mean of you to throw that argument with Alcina right after the moment with Dani 😐
Ginger Snaps? Reader Snaps. And comes out as a bird🐥
Wings huh, a symbol of everything Reader hates. Funny how everyone else loves them. Maybe they'll help Reader accept who they are. Because it doesn't define them as a person but can work as an advantage.
^me waiting patiently to hear your lovely takes on what's going on
*AW NO, NOT ANNOYED LMAO. fair though, that was some shit that went on
*you're going to learn very quickly why we don't like Red in this house :D
*listen Cass has the BEST vibe checker, and Red simply does not pass it
*HEHE FINALLY DANI!!
*i really feel like, with the excitement of having another sister/daughter, no one warned her that she was a hell of a lot stronger than she used to be, and that caused... issues, obviously. the main reason she wanted Reader to "take control" (she's a power bottom, cmon now) was so that she would have a much less chance of hurting them. poor baby can't stand the thought of hurting anyone she actually likes :(
*hehe, i tried my best to make them a little more realistic <3 with how much she copies her sisters, i wouldn't be surprised to find she also compares herself to them, and considering they actually have different body types in TPtM... unsurprising she would be insecure and wouldn't have given anyone else the chance to reassure her
*we love communication here! Dani strikes me as the one to communicate literally everything to her partner (where to touch, what feels good, etc.), regardless of what it is or how significant it actually is; the trouble is getting her to not ramble about flowers or rocks or whatever else is on her mind during spicy time
*it was definitely supposed to be a much softer moment as compared to anything else they've done with each other up until then :D
*listen, i could literally never do that (i'm on pc so imagine i put a crying face). i feel Cassandra is too mature for that, and with her already knowing what was going on but wanting Reader to admit to it, i don't think she'd completely give up everything over an accident/misunderstanding
*i think lots of people were surprised to read that Cass was the first to know about everything going on. she probably wouldn't have poked it out of them had it not been for the fact she saw them talking to someone that wasn't there, but it is good to finally have at least one person they can rely on through it all :o
*ahaha... aha.... haha.... about that-
*she has had a week basically to herself to figure out what she's feeling, why she was so upset to find them outside with Daria, why her heart flutters in her chest when they smile at her... all the fun, totally straight stuff you experience, yknow
*listen. listen. i genuinely don't like horndog Cass and feel it can be very bland to write her that way, even as much as she teases others about it (or how she sits on Reader's lap, pins them to the bed, etc. without actually meaning to go further), so i thought... what if... Reader was basically her "first"... her first kiss, her first "human" she's actually cared about... pls she's so awkward i love her
*i have said it before and i'll say it again: Alcina can be a toxic lover. when she wants information, she will get it one way or another, but i think i did write that she apologized for pushing them that far? she's pushed their buttons again and again before, just never to that extent. i can understand her frustrations, but Alcina, pls
*mm, it was nice to write that Reader hates that part of themself and what it means, what it represents, while everyone else thought the wings were cool as fuck. i don't think anyone even mentioned how similar they were to Miranda's (yet? it's been a minute since i've even worked on TPtM), and i feel that's a step in the right direction, distancing themself from her/her influence
definitely looking forward to how you'll react in chapter thirteen, and i will warn you that it's a doozy. be prepared. you may hate me after LMAOO <333
#asks#to promise the moon#speaking of i do have to work on tptm#i had a different thing to work on but i didnt even get halfway#eh#always tomorrow#why be productive when i can write about homosexuals
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when reader is sick hc's p2
PART 2 IS FINISHED WHOO
here's a link to part 1 uwu
so i'm still brainrotting over this and i would like to date almost every character rn~ i probably won't add more to this unprompted but if anyone wants a part 2 just shoot me an ask! <3
tags: gn!reader, xiao x reader, zhongli x reader, ningguang x reader, beidou x reader, kazuha x reader, amber x reader, keqing x reader, venti x reader, scaramouche x reader, thoma x reader
xiao
this man is so awkward goodbye
he’s really popping into the kitchen of wangshu inn like mr. smiley yanxiao i need an order of almond tofu and uhh whatever the hell it is sick people eat
asks cloud retainer if there’s a medicinal thing she’s created and hey can you fix my s/o
meanwhile his s/o is like xiao- xiao- XIAO- it’s a COLD i’ll SURVIVE, stop leaving me to find solutions and just come cuddle
so xiao cuddles <3 he’ll read to his partner but it’s likely he’s also just sitting there in silence holding his s/o
he likes the companionship, doesn’t talk much. comfy silence all around
his partner probably falls asleep on him at some point but he’s okay with it
he probably watches his partner while they rest and he’s super frowny because he hates seeing them in pain :(
but also the gentle forehead kisses while his partner rests <3
he tells zhongli that he needs time to be with his s/o while they’re ill. he makes it sound like his partner is dying which is...overdramatic but also he just wants to dote on them and make sure they’re okay
he asks verr goldet what things a sick person might want while his partner rests and then he tries to kinda sorta subtly ask for help getting them
tries to dote on his partner subtly but he’s so grumpy all the time LOL
n e ways he gives his partner smooches and cuddles and that’s all that matters uwu
zhongli
he doesn’t even have to really say it to hu tao, she just knows he’s about to ask for a few days off. he does ask, ofc bc he’s following the protocols of social etiquette
he goes to his partner’s home or they’re in his for the entire time they’re sick
has a shopping list of foods for a sick person, also gets tea
has no mora to purchase anything on his shopping list so he hits up tartaglia LMAO
tartaglia comes w zhongli just to visit zhongli’s s/o
hu tao also comes to visit zhongli and co but he’s so wary of her because is she about to pull a prank- really she just brings him some tea he likes and wishes his s/o well <3 she probably sings to them too but it’s a little creepy if you listen to the lyrics LOL
this man is not reading his partner stories, they’re getting histories, pov morax. he knows so many little details that are lost in time but are kept safely in his memories
the man works out, tell me otherwise. he may choose his own body and he knows he has cake but the man works out and trains. he’s a god of WAR and he keeps himself in good shape. n e way he works out in the living room or backyard while his s/o is sick and he trains w just a shirt and pants and he’s so pretty aHEm i think my asthma is acting up again hang on
okay but muscles rippling and you can see it through the clothes that aren’t even that tight BUT BRO WHY ARE YOU GRUNTING SO MUCH PLEASE NO ONE ELSE DOES
would probably get his partner toys and such and one of them is a little dragon <3 give it smooches every day
he’s distracted when he answers hu tao or the adepti because he’s thinking ab his partner instead
ningguang
the frown on her face when she finds out PHEW
she takes her partner’s temperature with the back of her hand and she’s all frowny all day. ganyu is lowkey concerned bc what’s the matter with lady ningguang-
her partner stays in ningguang’s home and she’s working from home for a while <3 there are millelith guards and members of the qixing popping into her home office and even beidou once or twice. bei is also worried ab ning’s partner, but she’s doing the hearty slap on the back and the “get well soon!”
ningguang ordering food from wanmin and xiangling personally delivering it <3 xiangling and guoba are both showing up with some hot soup and guoba is there for cuddles pls he’s so cute
ningguang will read to her partner, probably tells them about her day and entertains small talk until they fall asleep
she cooks some of her qiankun mora meat and tries to make her partner soup <3 the millelith and the qixing have never seen their tianquan in a kitchen working before but she would only ever do it for the people she loves
keqing is in the corner quietly shipping while munching golden shrimp balls goodbye
i think ningguang respects ganyu too much to force her to run around for stuff but ganyu probably likes ning’s partner enough to do it anyway
ning and cuddles and temple kisses and she won’t give her partner smooches on the lips :( but she’s soft for them so they get cheek kisses and spooning them to sleep
beidou
she stays at her partner’s place while they’re sick because the crux might make them feel seasick instead
but she goes back and forth to the crux to get her things and take care of business and such. her crew probably loves her partner so they have things for bei to bring back <3
bei doesn’t even leave her partner’s town but she’s got sango pearls, cecilias, qingxin, cor lapis jewelry, dendrobiums (even though those are like. blood flowers. they’re pretty it’s fine) and many many fruits
xiangling comes by with food for bei and co and sticks around to hear beidou telling her partner stories about her time at sea
beidou is. she’s so buff okay. she carries her partner in and out of the room and to the living room or kitchen or brings everything to her partner and you can see how defined her muscles are bye i’m in love with her
we already know bei learned to cook a little bit from xiangling but beidou is absolutely learning to cook more while her partner is sick. xiangling is there giving her cooking lessons while beidou’s partner watches <3 bei with that look of concentration and she’s so quick with the knives too i’m- okay but her spoonfeeding her partner?? *chef’s kiss* ;)
beidou puts too much pepper in a dish and it deffo clears sinuses LMAO but she tried and it actually does taste very good if you can handle your spice 🤷♀️ i cannot so find me with a gallon of milk later
n e ways beidou cuddles her partner to sleep and falls asleep as soon as she knows they’re resting <3 many cuddles and many kisses, even if they insist not to because cooties will get u sick bei 🥺
visits bubu’s pharmacy to get her partner’s medicine herself but also has remedies from other places too! zhongli deffo helps her with some other gifts for convalescents so it’s historically, traditionally and socially acceptable
kazuha
is so worried omg
wherever his ass is, he’s going to his partner as soon as he finds out they’re sick. he’s so frowny and worried it’s almost cute but also,,,kazu it’s a cold, it’s FINE
he goes to collect qingxin and sweet flowers and stuff himself and makes his own poultices and soups and such <3
he shows up at his partner’s home with arms and buckets of flowers and herbs as soon as he possibly can. bei understands if he has to go tho, she gives him leave uwu
makes his partner soup and dried fish and gives them many smooches <3 they are not allowed out of bed LOL they just have to stay there and wait for him to dote on them
many many cuddles and smooches. he plays leaves and grass and recites poems for them he’s so cute <3 sigh, this man plays grass and i’m out here simping
also comes bearing gifts from wherever he was last tho. if he was on the crux, he’s probably got gifts from beidou and the crew even if they don’t really know kazu’s partner, they just know he’s happy and that’s what matters. if he’s not on the crux, his boss probably gives him leave and a gift or smth even if it’s just like a tea or a bottle of wine or smth
he’ll cuddle and be a blanket. but he’s also got fabrics that beidou picked up in inazuma and he uses that as a blanket for his partner <3
will tell his s/o stories of his childhood, his time wandering, his time with the crew, his work. anything they want to know or have questions about, he’ll tell them.
forehead kisses, temple kisses, holding his partner’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of their hand ugh i love him
deffo gets sick because he can’t deny his partner smooches on the lips smh. and then it’s his partner’s turn to play nursemaid
the crew from the crux probably drops by to check on kazoo man and co. they bring some regional delicacies and blankets and their best cold remedies with a slap on the back for kazu and a gentler pat for his partner. like w ningguang’s partner, bei probably gives kazu’s s/o a hearty slap but it’s not enough to hurt them
anyway i’m in love with him
amber
she’s so worried she’s such a sweetie omg
she goes to her partner immediately and fusses over them before they have to gently tell her that they’re fine
she goes to collect sweet flowers and stuff and goes to ohm, albedo and barbara for help making medicines and such
doesn’t want to leave her duties unattended to but jean also knows that amber wants to be with her s/o so she tells amber that she has fewer duties for her <3
jean tells kaeya to go make sure amber is doing okay and doesn’t need help or anything so he drags ohm, diluc, albedo and lisa too LOL
lisa was planning on going anyway, she just used diluc to carry her books w this opportunity <3 albedo is just treating amber’s partner w meds and potions and things and lisa takes a peek at that too
she’s so sad she doesn’t have ohm’s super cold skin so she can’t be a human cooling pack for her partner </3 but she gives them many smooches on cheeks and foreheads and temples
barely resists giving her partner kisses on the lips bc she still wants to go to work but also wants to give her partner what they need and sigh. it’s a struggle for amber
she wears pajamas and cuddles with her s/o <3
cooks her partner some (fully cooked!!) meals, not her specialty steak. but she makes soup and goes to good hunter and gets good hot food there too
keqing
wants to take some time off to help her partner feel better but also doesn’t want to leave work. ningguang probably sends her home at some point because she’s fretting and working and stop feeling so bad keqing, you have sick days
she still goes to work but she’s just taking marginally shorter days sigh, she goes home early instead but brings work home so she can do it while sitting with her partner
wears leisure clothes when at home with her partner but the fact that she has clothes she doesn’t use for work is shocking LMAO the cat ears stay tho ;) catgirl always
ganyu comes by with keqing’s work, some wanmin takeout and a card and gift for her partner <3
xiangling hears that keqing is home with her partner while they’re sick and brings food over to keqing’s. she’s got extra golden shrimp balls for keqing. AND AGAIN. GUOBA CUDDLES ❤️❤️❤️
keqing feels so bad for not doing as much work, she’s making herself almost as sick as her partner </3
ningguang comes over one night with beidou while keqing is doing work in bed while her partner is resting and she sees keqing stressed as all hell. she just gives keqing some food and tells her to actually rest. soft!ning and bei being moms god i love them
okay but keqing tucking her partner in with a sweet kiss before retreating to her work in the corner, the lamps turned to the lowest they can possibly be because keqing refuses to leave her beloved but can’t not do work
keqing trying to cook food for her partner that isn’t meant specifically for survival but for taste is so cute. she’s trying to cook golden shrimp balls and soup and stuff and she’s not bad at it! she took a single night of giving her s/o hot tea and some wanmin soup before she learned the whole cookbook so she can be the one to cook for them <3
venti
he brings his partner wine u cannot tell me otherwise
he goes to diluc’s. not the tavern but straight up dawn winery and asks diluc if he can get a bottle of wine for his s/o and please please please he’ll go fight some of those slimes for you, please? with the big 🥺 and staying outside diluc’s window to beg bye
diluc just gives him the wine with a glare but won’t make venti do the commission <3 venti legit says “thank barbatos” and gives diluc an ~ehe~ before he gets ready to glide away. he turns around and asks diluc if he’s sure he can’t do the comm but diluc just glares at him all broody~
diluc comes by to check on venti’s partner too bc where does venti live- venti is just camping out at his partner’s place for now and feeding them and giving them wine and diluc just kinda goes a little pink but glares while he says “get well soon” and leaves a windwheel aster from near the winery
venti makes soup and many vegetable/fruity foods because “they’re good for you! have some wine with that ehe”
jean comes by at some point with barbara to check on venti and co. they’ve got other foods and some hydro healing for venti’s partner <3
ohm comes over to see his friend and brings him some medicines, food and wine. he gets to witness the anemo god get all soft and squooshy for his s/o it’s so sweet
he uses anemo to entertain his partner with some gentle breezes playing through leaves <3 but he also plays his lyre for them and gives them smooches in between and during songs because he’s a god ofc he isn’t gonna get sick, pay the bard with kisses. and where’s his gratuity :( 😗
he doesn’t read to his s/o but he does tell them stories with a musical accompaniment. sometimes his partner will fall asleep so he just smiles so softly and tucks them in and continues playing his lyre at the window while they sleep <3
but also brushing his partner’s hair back and giving them a kiss on the forehead please i love my beloved kinnie
n e ways venti forehead smooches and playing the lyre for his s/o <3 no cough meds ehe, just dandelion wine and whatever ohm gave him (that was, in fact, the cough medicine)
scaramouche
bro this dude looks like he CANNOT be assed but he really cares <3<3
his work schedule doesn’t change but he’s going to his s/o’s home super often with soup and food and medicine and extra blankets
even to his partner, scara looks broody but he always looks like that LOL
tartaglia finds out where scara is going and he brings food and toys and stuff too <3 scara later has to read one of the kids books tartaglia brought and he refuses to voices but it’s very sweet anyway
scara probably asks sandrone if his doctor brother can get him some good cold medicine but would never admit that he asked ohm for help LOL. ohm shows up anyway and finds out <3
can and will cook soup but that’s all you’re getting from him. the takeout he brought is most definitely not something he made, no sir’am he would never do something as soft as cook for them. soup doesn’t count, it’s oboiling water with some added flavor, shut up tartagalicious he’s not soft
will give his partner kisses only after he thinks they’re asleep. refuses to give them any affection besides a headpat or two and maybe one hug when he shows real concern. his partner isn’t quite yet asleep one time and then feigns sleeping when they hear scara’s whispered “i love you” and he presses a kiss to their forehead 🥺❤️
he takes off his hat inside the house but will go around with a blanket around his shoulders to mock his partner smh. the blanket is on his head like a hood and he fake sniffles with an almost derisive laugh but he gives his partner a real smile at the end <3
9/10 times will never admit that he’s soft unless it’s a Very Serious Moment but he’s a squishy dood for his s/o and his s/o only
will not read or sing to his partner but he’ll sorta cuddle if they ask very nicely and many times. it’s just kind of him sitting next to them and they kind of have to muzzle before he’ll move his arm for his own comfort LMAO
will bring his partner gifts and food, a few flowers but he’ll just claim he’s delivering it from someone else with a look of fake disgust </3 maybe like two of those are actually from other ppl and not him
when his partner is actually feeling really sick, he won’t be a big smol meanie and he actually looks so concerned~ his partner means a lot to him and he doesn’t want them to feel sick or in pain so he’ll cuddle them unprompted and rub their back, run his hand thru their hair, soft forehead and temple kisses and “i’m here, baby” and “i love you” and falling asleep with his partner tucked under his chin <3 he’s actually so sweet bye 😭
thoma
thoma feels so bad when his partner is sick. it isn’t even his fault but he feels so bad because he wants to protect them, even from tiny little germs 😭 i’m sorry u can’t be my immune system thoma it’s FINE
he asks to take off work and ayaka just kinda sighs but smiles and waves a hand to dismiss him bc yes ofc you can, simp
ayato just laughs when he sees this LMAO BYE
thoma’s partner stays at his home, in his bed or a guest room (idk if he has his own place or stays w the kamisatos as their literal live-in maid but anyway)
his partner gets his care, any doctors or caretakers around ritou, the medic from the crux, the kamisato family doctor- this man is using some of his favors for medicine and then cuddling his s/o, ugh i want to date him sm
both kamisatos come by with some food for thoma and co but poor ayato can’t even keep his grin contained, poor thoma is conditioned to be nervous ab what ayato feeds him LOL
he’s cooking for his partner, legit gives them a list of options and an “anything you want, my love?”
cuddles his s/o even tho they might protest but it takes like 0.2 seconds to stop protesting bc that man is comfy
tells his partner stories about what it was like back home in mondstadt and his journey to inazuma and why he’s there as well as his stories about all the different kinds of people he’s met
taroumaru coming w kozue to the kamisato estate to get some hot tea to thoma 🥺 and the cuddles and nuzzles from this great doggo for thoma before he turns to his partner too 😭 straight up jumps in the bed and licks their faces a little before nuzzling in for a hug
n e way thoma gives a lot of hugs and kisses and cuddles and i think he’s hella touchy-feely and misses home and treasures his partner even more because of it
my beautiful red shield ❤️
#genshin impact x reader#xiao x reader#zhongli x reader#ningguang x reader#beidou x reader#kazuha x reader#amber x reader#keqing x reader#venti x reader#scaramouche x reader#thoma x reader#genshin fluff#hc's#lyz.writes#part deux was fun i wanted to add more to thoma's lol#i'm so in love w him help
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just friends; eren jaegar x reader
summary: you and eren are best pals and have both recently be dumped. so, a plan to get over your exes is needed! what’s better than going out on the town trying to find quick fucks >:) also eren is a smug bastard but kinda has a heart of gold??
content: smut / nsfw 18+. minors dni. (choking, unprotected sex, creampie drinking, drunk sex, possessiveness ig? dirty talk, both of them want to be dominant tbh. slight size kink, oral both m and f receiving. female bodied reader)
i am new to this pls let me know if i should add anything!!
word count: 5.8k words of unedited content
a/n: uh so i never thought i’d be back on my tumblr bullshit at 23 but hey after years without the app i’m back. i needed to get out the h-word and this is what happened. enjoy and i’m sorry if it’s terrible lmao
“You look different”
Frowning at the man waiting ever so patiently for you on the sofa, you look a little defeated. “Is that meant to be a compliment, Eren?”. He sighed, raising his eyebrows at you. To be fair, maybe you did. Wearing a figure hugging black dress, that definitely just hid your ass cheeks, hair styled and sprayed in place, dark lipstick and makeup on your face. Usually Eren would have seen you in sweats, always running a little late for class, snack in hand.
“Different isn’t bad,” he offered, checking the watch that lay on his wrist, “are we ever going to get to the bar? Your plan will fall through if you’re not careful.”
Ah, the plan. Both you and Eren were newly single. In your final year at university, having managed to keep each relationship going until almost the end. Ironic. Weren’t most meant to fail in the first year? But alas, your partners had decided it was the end within a couple of weeks each other, and as you and Eren had been close since you met on orientation day, you each took to the other for comfort. You had done the crying first, going to him the minute your call with the ex had ended. Leaving wet splotches on his shirt, he had calmed you, only for you to do the same to him later. Now the crying was done, it was time to move on, and what better advice to follow than getting under someone to get over another?
“I just need to look hot enough for a guy to fuck me.”
“What a romantic you are.”
“Shut up Er-”
Eren shifted from the couch, interrupting your usual sass, “and what about me, y/n? Do I look beautiful?”. He threw in a wink with his comment, his aura of cockiness always radiating. You rolled your eyes, before studying his figure. His dark hair half pulled back into a bun, the rest draping his neck and onto a deep emerald green silk shirt, with the top few buttons loose, tucked into dark pants. A ring on each hand, fingers with chipping black nail polish, and to top it off, a thin chain on his neck. You hated to admit it and add to his smug demeanour but... the man did look good.
“Gorgeous as always Eren,” you said sarcastically, even if it was truthful, “I’m sure there will be a queue of women who are wanting to jump on you.”
“Not if they aren’t all taken already,” he taps at his watch. Whilst the two of you had already been drinking as he waited for you to get ready, it was definitely on the later side.
“Order the uber, and we can go.”
Walking over to him and adding shoes to your outfit, you present yourself before him, a cute little smile playing on your lips. He’s staring down at his phone, quickly going through the motions for the ride. Finally, he looks up to catch your eyes. His jade pupils flick down slightly, and he hopes you miss that they land at the cleavage you’re sporting in your current get up. He flicks your nose, earning a scowl from you and a smile from him.
“You look perfect”
The club is far fuller than you both expected, dance floor and tables taken up and crowded round. Luckily, you had managed to secure you and Eren a pair of seats at the bar, and you were currently on your third..? Fourth drink of the evening. Green eyes watch your lips carefully, as you finish the vodka and lemonade.
“So, anyone take your fancy?” he prompts, looking around at the mess of people.
Humming, you scan the area. There’s some people you recognise from class, but plenty more you don’t know. Fucking friends seems like a bad move, even in your tipsy state, so you look to the strangers faces. They don’t look like him. Ugh.
There’s a few options though, and as you point them out to Eren they come with brief descriptors: dark hair and stubble, wide set blonde. He tuts at the options, sarcastically letting out a “sure sure, I see the appeal”.
“And how about you, anyone you like the look of?” you ask with a sigh.
Christ, Eren thinks to himself. It’s been long enough that he hasn’t had to look for someone else. Sure there were attractive people in the world, but with her around, he hadn’t needed to give anyone else a second look. His palm moves to the back of his neck, stretching out behind him with a huff. “Let’s look on the dance floor?” he offers, clearly not as eager as you were tonight. Moving his hand back down, he holds it out for you, pulling towards the throng of people.
He looks effervescently cool like this. Shirt open, hair starting to fall from his bun. Eren is looking around at the people surrounding the two of you. The two of you had been working in circles, allowing each other an eyeful as the club goers move around the space. As a group of guys push their way from the dance floor to the bar, you get shoved towards Eren. Heels were never quite your forte, and you stumble against him, hands on either side of his chest. Grinning down at you with that smug little smile that annoyed you so much, Eren brought large hands to your waist, pushing you away a little. But his hands stay there as he continues to sway to the music, making no effort to break the contact. And so you bring your arms up to his neck, allowing his movements to carry you on time to the song. For the first time in the past couple of weeks, you feel light. Your chest isn’t constricted by some foreign weight. It’s just you and your best friend, buzzed and free.
Colours change above you, as you look up to Eren, him down to you. A playful grin takes his lips as he pulls you a little closer, you so easily accepting the narrowing distance. Your black silk meets his deep green, chest pushing into his. You carefully analyse his features, seeing if he attempts to check you out like earlier.
Was it the alcohol making your cheeks so warm? Lit up by a purple hue, you watch his eyes return to exploring the crowd, his hand still holding on to you. His smirk falters, his eyebrows creasing together. You’re not moving in circles anymore, Eren pausing in his movements as he thinks about what to do next. He shouldn’t lie to you, but seeing your ex at the bar would really harsh the night. Under his fingers, he can feel your body tense, suddenly unsure at how close the contact between you was.
But Eren doesn’t want you to know, he doesn’t want you to be distracted by your ex tonight. He doesn’t want to see your hurt little face anymore. The way your eyes would be red and puffy the next day. The way he would feel your shoulders heaving under his arms. You don’t deserve that. Hell, you didn’t deserve the huge amount of shit your ex had put you through over the years he’d known you. Eren would sit back and listen to you rant, support you where he could. But fuck that guy. And he wasn’t sure what sparked in his chest, but Eren’s jade orbs are trained straight back on you. His eyebrows calm, tension releasing from them. As you can turn to scope out whatever had changed his body language so suddenly, he catches your jaw.
Beginning to slowly move again, his eyes have narrowed, taking in the way the dress hugs you, the shine on your skin from the hot dance floor. Eren couldn’t quite figure out what was intoxicating him right now. Definitely a lot of alcohol, but also a sudden… possessiveness. He didn’t want you in pain anymore. Eren wanted you in pleasure. His breath is suddenly on your neck, making your hair raise.
“I’ve only seen one person I’m interested in tonight.”
“Oh?” you squeak, before clearing your throat a little. The new deep notes in his voice catch you off guard. It almost sounds like he’s… No. He’s your best friend. The little looks you’d been giving each other all night were just two people looking out for one another, two people seeing each other happy for the first time in a while. Your voice is calmer as you ask light-heartedly, “and who would that be?”
His lips are so close to your ear.
“You.”
“Eren-” your hands move from behind his neck, resting on his shoulders. You need to see your best friend's face, you need to know if he’s joking right now. If he’s mocking you. When you draw back, you see his face. Smug, as always. Fuck you’ve always wanted to knock that cockiness down a peg. Cheshire smile showing his teeth and his eyes looking down at you. Half lidded eyes, pupils blown. He’s not joking. Fuck.
“Can I kiss you?”
Your breath is caught in your throat. All too aware suddenly of each of his finger pads pressing into your skin, the contact feeling like fire with the added alcohol. But, you find yourself nodding, the yes just escaping your lips before he’s pressed into them.
Large hands travel to your hip, and up your back, pressing you into him. You can feel his body, tense in exhilaration against you, hands back around his neck. One travels up to the nape of his back, tangling into his hair and pulling him deeper into you. The music is all consuming, you can feel the bass in your body, you can feel Eren against you, you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
Eren’s hand on your back travels up, echoing your placement on him, to hold the back of your neck. He doesn’t want you to go, you feel too good. The heat between your bodies could suffocate him. His thumb puts pressure under your jaw, he isn’t even sure you can feel it. But he can, measuring your pulse racing underneath the pad. He’s smiling into this kiss, this all consuming kiss.
His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and you’re all too eager to allow him into your mouth. Tasting the whisky from your home, tasting the coke from the club. His teeth take your lip nipping slightly, before sucking the plump of it into his mouth. You both come up for air, eyes meeting in acknowledgment of the situation.
“Wanna get out of here?”
The drive home had only served to heap tension between you. As clearly that it was that you wanted each other, you would have to wait a while longer. Your thighs pressed together, slowly inhaling and exhaling. Going through your mind was whether this was a good idea, staring out at the city passing by you. Eren was your friend. You were dating another man two weeks ago. The same man that had previously asked you if he needed to be worried about Eren. You’d laughed it off, because it was Eren. You were brought out of your thoughts when you felt him grip your leg, a little too harshly at first, before settling, leaving a gentle pattern of circles and lines on your inner thigh. It was Eren.
Just one hallway. You had to make it one hallway to get into your apartment. One hallway left to come to your senses. And just like he read your mind, Eren is once again touching you, just his hand on yours pulling you backwards. You twist just in time, his hands instantly cupping your cheeks as he kisses you, deeply and intensely. Pushing you back into the wall, you pray a neighbour doesn’t walk out now. His knee is pressing gently between your legs, and you allow it. Your fingers sink into Eren’s arms, lightly covered by the fabric yet you can still feel the muscle underneath, relaxing and tensing as he pulls you closer.
His lips are making their way to your jaw, lifting your chin upwards, tentatively licking the bone before moving downwards still, sucking and nipping and licking your neck. A whimper breaks through. You really need to get inside. Gripping his hair, you sharply pull backwards.
“Not going to play nice, huh?”
When did he speak like this? The playful and shit-eating grin your friend Eren always wore was replaced by something darker, his words laced with intent.
“Don’t challenge me.”
You were off, finally at your door, making quick work with the lock, moving in first before he followed. The door shut as you pushed Eren against it, usual doe eyes being taken over with a deep lust. Your hands are instantly at his belt, as his hands find your face once again. This time he’s grabbing your hair, making you look up at him as he glares down at you. You’re constantly challenging one another in conversation, and it’s translating to the bedroom far too easily.
Lips are on one another again, as you leave the belt and start towards his shirt. You bite down on his bottom lip, earning a hiss from him, and you feel his hand being brought around your throat. He doesn’t add too much pressure, checking if this turn is indeed okay with you. When you push against the weight, he takes the gleam in your eye as a yes, and uses the force to push you against the next wall, finally moving off the front door.
It’s a constant battle to get to the bedroom, both of you taking control for short bursts. Eren pulling the thin straps of your dress down, you untucking his shirt. His muscular torso is on full display, and you had never viewed it in this light before.
Finally he pushes you onto the bed, situating himself between your legs. Your kisses are sloppy and infused with alcohol. Hands are desperate with one another, both of you needing to be closer. Are you scared if the contact ends your thoughts will return to sanity?
Eren’s hot and heavy over you, his hands seem everywhere at once. Smoothing up your thigh, digging in slightly to the flesh when you grind against one another. His hands rest at your hips for a moment, and he’s looking down at you, still fucking smiling. All at once, he’s flipped you over his prominent hard on pressing into your ass. He’s whispering in your ear, leaving wet kisses along your neck, to your shoulder blades. Fingers take the zip at the back of your dress, slowly and carefully pulling it down, leaving licks and pecks as he goes. It’s torturous.
You attempt to speed things up by rutting your ass against his crotch, and you think you hear a quiet moan, before his hand is brought down to the fabric, smacking your cheek. You gasp, turning your head to look at him. Eren is too occupied in taking in all of your body, his green eyes are darkened with authority and lust. His nimble fingers play with the short hem of your dress, thumb dipping beneath, before he pushes the silk up.
You both let out soft fuck’s, as his hands grab at the plump of your ass. It’s like he’s testing the softness, the way your flesh responds to his touch so easily. He slaps at you again, earning a sharp moan from you. Eren’s leaning down, his mouth once again trailing across the apex of your behind, leaving trails of saliva as he goes. Before you can even register the new sensations you can feel a soft pressure against your clothed cunt, just enough to let you know the presence of his hand, but not enough for you to get off on. You’re mewling, once again trying to get closer to him. This time he allows it, eagerly pressing his ring and middle finger to your clit, allowing you to grind upon them.
Seeing you underneath him like this… it’s new and strange and so fucking hot. He’s watching you desperately try and fill the need building in your core, and he can only feel his cock twitch in his pants as he sees you coming undone. If you wanted more, he could definitely give it to you. Bringing his large hands away, to the flimsy fabric that was covering you, he pulls it down, exposing you to him. His heart and dick fucking jump. His hands return to your ass, watching the jiggle as you move and whimper. Spreading you, he brings his face down, breath tingling on your most sensitive areas.
Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue, gentle at first, licks between your folds. He’s tasting you, he’s moaning into your pussy, as you write beneath him. Eren’s hands are squeezing your ass cheeks, holding you still as you try to grind against his face.
“Patience, y/n”, he says, with a slap on your behind again.
“Fuck you,” you hiss.
“You will be in a minute, baby girl, don’t worry.”
You go to make a retort but he’s instantly back, licking up your slit and a deep moan escapes you. Jesus you can feel the smile on his lips as he’s back on your pussy. Eren is so proud of the sounds he can draw from you. He wonders if your ex could make you come undone so easily.
You taste sweet and saccharine on him, and he doesn’t hold back the groan as he further works his way into you. Hardened tongue moving it’s way from your entrance down to your clit. He swipes at it, before moving away again. Kissing your thighs, kissing the skin between your holes. Every now and then he’ll move back to your clit, allowing you a moment of pleasure before he’s teasing again. “Fuck, please”. Your whines are being smothered by the sheets, and Eren wants nothing more than to hear them, loud and clear.
Eren’s ringed fingers make their way to your hair, his face lifting from between your legs. He pulls you back round, and holy shit you can see how wet you are on his face. There’s a sheen to his lips and chin, and instinctively you reach up to his neck, pulling him back on top of you. Your tongue meets his, tasting your tartness on his mouth. A hand makes it way back down in between your thighs, playing and parting your folds. Your hand in turn reaches up his neck, pulling sharply at his hair once again. “Eren. More- please” you get out in between staggered breaths.
“Aw, since you asked so nicely” his eyes watch your expression closely as his thumb rests on your clit, his finger swiftly moving inside you. Your eyebrows raise and knot, eyes wide and lips parted. But he keeps it still as your legs shaked around his arm. “Eren, move” you demand this time.
“Oh, that’s not so nice. I liked it when you were polite.” He starts to retract his finger, thumb gently swabbing your clit so you’ll know what you miss.
“Please, please, please, Eren, please” you speak before he even gets the first knuckle out. All the teasing was creating a tightness in your lower stomach.
“Much better.”
You whine as he continues to pull his finger from you, until he pushes it back in, curling his solitary finger up. Your fingernails are pressing deep into the muscle of his bicep, feeling how it moves as he finger fucks you. He’s hitting that perfect spot inside you again and again, and his thumb is swiping eagerly on your clit.
Eren can feel you fluttering around his finger, desperate for more, desperate to release on him. He adds another finger, your wetness allowing him entrance easily. He wants to fuck you so bad, his cock so hard it felt like it was about to burst.
He pushes your hands off him, leaving crescent moon indents deep in his skin, he works his way back down. He brings the black silk with him this time, fully being able to take in your body as you’re left naked before him. Holy shit you’re beautiful. He doesn’t want to stare too long and make you shy. But he still kisses his way down, before he’s back at your pussy.
This time he allows you more movement, letting your fingers work their way back into his hair, letting you roll your hips against his tongue and stubble.
With his spare hand he pulls out his cock, slowly pulling at it, before he realises he can’t do that for too long without cumming before the main event. Instead he reaches up, rolling your perked nipples in between his fingers. There are so many sensations on your body, and Eren can feel your cunt beginning to tighten around his fingers. You hold your breath before letting out little moans, building towards reaching your height.
“You want to cum on my fingers?
Your back is arching, whispering “yes, yes, yes, please” as your walls are tightening around him. He quickens the pace, making sure to hit that spot inside you over and over. Thighs around his face, he can feel your slick pooling in his mouth, and coating his chin once again.
Your gummy walls are so tight around his thick fingers, he needs you to finish, watch you fully unravel below him. Sucking and licking at your clit, he’s pushing you towards the edge.
“Eren-” his name is strangled coming out of you, and then your moaning, undulating your cunt against his mouth, riding out your orgasm.
His jade eyes look up at you, watching as you pull your head up to look at him, before another wave of pleasure hits you and you have to arch your neck and look back up. He waits for you to come down, letting you fuck his face and fingers. Grinding against his stubble and tongue as you let out pitiful and beautiful moans. You’re so fucking wet, the sounds coming from between the two of you should be forbidden, as you release onto him.
Finally he withdraws, using his forearm to wipe his face. He lies next to you, allowing you a moment as he draws little circles on your stomach. Eren has never quite looked at you in this light. Sure, you were pretty, and the two of you were obviously close. But now you’d walked a line that couldn’t be undone. You weren’t over your ex, and as okay as Eren was with what had happened between you, he didn’t want you to run. He’s overcome with thoughts, looking down to your chest and the heavy breaths you were taking. All he could pray was that you weren’t pretending he was someone else.
But as Eren is getting caught up in his own mind, you’re twisting, hand reaching to his crotch, cock having been recaptured by his boxers. Palming him, you feel how big he really is for the first time. Fingers trace the edge of his pants and underwear, and he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull them down. Shit. His dick slapped back to his stomach, precum leaking from the top of his pink head. He was bigger than you’d imagined, because of course you’d imagined it a couple of times.
Your hand looks so small around his cock, but you slowly tease him, his deep green orbs following your movements. Bringing your head down to him, you kitten lick the precum from the top of his dick. He hisses gently, and you look up at him with these big doe eyes, so fucking eager to please.
You push your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks and flattening your tongue as you begin working along his shaft. He moans just at the sight of you, your eyes peeking up through dark lashes. His hand goes through your hair, eagerly pushing you deeper around him.
He lets out a hoarse, “is this okay?” before you put your own hand on his pushing it for the both of you. You don’t even want to come up for air, you just want him close to you, inside you.
You were learning far more about each other than you had expected, as Eren takes back over. He pushes himself further into you, muttering a good girl that has you whining. The vibrations around his cock make his hips buck, and now you’re gagging as his length hits the back of your throat. He holds you there instead of letting you off, and your nails are sharp against his thighs.
His head lolls back as he starts to move his hips under you, moving you in turn with your hair. He picks up the pace quickly, allowing saliva to drool from you and straight to his cock.
Your eyes prick, big fat tears forming at the corners. But you’re enjoying this way too much, the moans and gasps he gives make you moan, pressing your thighs together for some kind of friction.
He takes your jaw in his grasp, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. Your tongue sits out your mouth, him smacking the head of his dick on it. He notices your tears then, the mascara that’s running a little. He swipes at the corner of your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss into your forehead.
Bringing you up to him, your dripping folds sliding across his length. His lips are on your cheeks, across your jaw, licking up your neck before reclaiming your plush lips once again. You continue grinding against one another, tongues slipping in and out of each other's mouths. Eventually Eren brings his hands to your hips, lifting you up as you hold his shaft up.
Your foreheads are pressed together as he slowly pushes inside you. The stretch is burning and all-consuming, eyes pricking up again as you feel him hit your furthest wall. Eren breathes out heavily, “So fucking tight”
You roll your hips, allowing some friction from him on your clit. It helps your muscles relax a little, and balancing your hands on his shoulders you push yourself up and down, using his length for your own pleasure. Eren’s eyes don’t leave your form, watching your breasts bounce and how your eyes flutter close as he fills you entirely.
“You really did want to be fucked, huh? Look at you” he teases you, watching as you go to talk back before he thrusts his hips up. It leaves the words caught in your throat.
His pace maintains, holding you in place as he fucks up into you, feeling your cunt clench around him. There are long moments where you hold your breath, holding his cock tight within you. Then you’ll release and moan, before holding it in again. Well, Eren is all too happy to help you with that.
One hand grabbing the flesh of your hip, the other wrapping around your throat, he pushes into you at a punishing rate. Your eyes go wide at the sudden restriction of your throat, feeling the cold metal of his ring against your pulse.
“Who knew this about you? That you were such a slut?”
As much as he knows you want to deny it, you want to smack the smugness from his voice, he can feel your pussy tighten around him. He sees your eyes roll back a little.
“You’re getting tighter.”
The hand on your hip moves down, attempting to hold you in place whilst letting his thumb press over your clit. The sounds of him slapping against your wetness is obscene, and he’s only distracted from it as you whimper out pathetic yes’s and please’s.
“You wanna cum?” he’s grunting, trying to keep the pace going until you can reach your peak.
You nod against his wide hand, still tight around your neck. “Oh you can do better than that. I already know how bad you want it, slut.”
“Please Eren, please make me cum. I want to cum, please, please, please” you can barely make out the words, your head going light and body tightening.
“Cum for me.”
You release, and as he can feel the fluttering of your walls around him, he lets go of your throat. The sudden oxygen as you cum leaves you overwhelmed. Burying yourself in his shoulder, he fucks you through it. Cock slapping up into your cunt over and over, somehow being sucked deeper in as you coat his length with more of your own slick. He can feel your nails breaking the flesh of his back as you’re holding on for dear life, moaning his name and even a fucking thank you into his ear.
As you begin to slow, legs shake as you stay straddled over him. He flips you, Eren now firmly on top, slowly moving in and out of you. The stimulation is intense, your cunt sparking at any sensation.
Caged between his forearms, his hair is a mess thanks to you. You push tendrils back past his ears as he leans down to kiss you once again. This kiss is different. It feels… less desperate. It feels deep and meaningful, caring even.
Your eyes meet in acknowledgment, both of you too worried to speak about the shift in tone.
He reaches down instead, pulling your leg up and splitting you on his cock. A tongue swipes at your nipple, biting and playing with each as he gradually picks up pace again. You’re still so fucking wet it’s easy for him to thrust into you at a dizzying pace. You can feel all of him against your gummy walls. Each time he passes that special spot inside you, you moan and gasp, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.
His thrusts were becoming more primal, holding your thighs close around his hips. Letting your sweaty bodies collide again and again, his balls slapping against you. The grunts and moans coming from his lips were so infuriatingly erotic. Eren just wanted one more from you, and then he’d let himself finish. If this was to be a drunken mistake, so be it, but he would at least make it memorable.
Those jade eyes were on you once again, the power and dominance radiating from the immeasurable. He can see you barely being able to hold on, completely fucked out beneath him. You’re moaning and whining, hands moving over the swell of your breasts and playing with your nipples as if it’s going to keep you grounded.
He sits up, eyes flicking down to where you were conjoined. It took so much restraint not to cum inside you right then and there. Your glistening sex was so tight around him, the wet slapping noises echo again and again. You’re pulling and sucking him in, cream pooling around his length.
“Give me one more, y/n. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”
You try to look up at him through heavy lids. Your friend Eren saying this is so taboo. The words he’s said tonight so far from normal for the both of you. You flutter around him, somehow your pussy still wants to be fucked, still wants to push you off the edge one more time. You can feel the coil inside your stomach tightening.
Eyes rolling back, you can barely keep it together anymore. He’s pounding into you at a startling rate, fingers flicking over your clit again and again and again.
“P - please, it’s s-so good.”
Your breaths between words were quick, “you’re so big-”
“Yeah you like that? You like being so full of my cock? Such a pretty face you make when you’re all fucked out.”
Holy shit.
Eren could tell how much words affected you, your back arching and legs pulling him somehow closer into you.
“Come on, baby. I wanna hear those moans.” he’s grunting, getting so fucking close to losing himself in your cunt. He knows what he wants to hear most though, “say my name. Tell me who’s treating you how you should be”
With that, you’re losing yourself around him again. Writing on the bed, gripping sheets in tightly balled fists. White light taking over your sight as you clench around Eren. This orgasm was the most intense, taking your body by surprise in its overstimulated state. You weren’t even making a noise, just holding on to the high for as long as possible.
And then you shattered, whining and moaning, whispering his name over and over again.
As you moved underneath him, Eren kept his punishing pace up until he watched you expel the last of your energy. Name forming on your lips over and over again he falters, releasing inside you. You can feel the stickiness inside you, the sensation of being filled up. Eren watches for a moment as he sees the white pearls forming around your stretched out pussy.
His chest is back on yours as he kisses your neck, shoulders, whatever skin he can. Thrusting back into you a couple of times, he finally pulls out. You feel his cum dripping out of you, but you’re too spent to do anything about it.
Eren lies next to you, both of your bodies attempting to regulate from that.
“You okay?”
He’s checking in, making sure he didn’t go too far with someone he genuinely cares for.
You nod, turning to meet his stare. Giving him a drowsy smile, you’re not sure what comes next. But for now, you’re happy. Curling into his side, he puts an arm round you and lets you rest for a while. As he notices your breathing become deeper, he nestles into you, muttering something about clean up.
Moving away from you, you can make out some noises of a tap, drawers opening and closing. In your sleepy state you feel him gently wiping at you, two glasses of water being put on the bedside table. Finally he makes his way back to you, and Eren notes how cute you look. Hot and completely fucked out, yes. But also gentle and at peace, allowing the heaviness of sleep taking over.
He rests behind you, wanting to be back in your warmth. He pulls you in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. The fragrance of you takes over his nostrils, and he’s all too eager to move closer to your hair, pressing one last kiss at the nape of your neck. Whatever tomorrow brings, he hopes it’s not the last time he gets to be this close to you.
#eren jaeger smut#eren jaeger x reader#eren yaeger smut#eren yaeger x reader#aot smut#eren smut#eren x reader#eren jaeger x reader smut#eren yaegar x reader smut#attack on titan smut#pls be nice lmao
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moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1
| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their children and hpw many children they want? |
william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader
word count: 2397
pt. 2: 221b boys
a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS
william: 487 words
with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children
well, until he met you
you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother
“i think two children would be nice”
“i didn’t even ask”
“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”
n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted
fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl
and they look exactly like their father
like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father
you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”
no
granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through
like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him
ok but the men w your children
fred is a freaking sweetheart ok
like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for
tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO
louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time
you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate
and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian
but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister
needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that
now, william
i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)
but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life
like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles
he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them
you still instill in them those good morals ofc
he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans
when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much
but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world
louis: 320 words
it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you
“if you could, how many kids do you want?”
“none”
like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart
but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them
william especially
louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???
anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO
and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis
yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms
the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with
he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be
that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house
you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts
even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”
louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family
is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him
he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves
oh and louis smiles a lot more too
cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”
all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you
albert: 505 words
same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer
“you know you haven’t even answered my question”
“i’m sorry, what did you say?”
“how many kids do you want?”
genuinely takes time to ponder that question
he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis
but with you?
“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”
pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺
you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father
and tbh, you’re not even mad
you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic
the happiness was short lived for albert tho
he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????
“where’s your sister?”
“she’s with mr. moran”
his heart DROPPED
out of all the people in the manor
HIM
he sees the two running around the garden
it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”
he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped
you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on
“but him??”
“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”
isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little
actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them
otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao
“albert, she only tripped”
“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”
“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”
would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids
william and louis are the doting uncles
william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile
now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile
louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away
omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried
so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face
your daughter was like (・∀・)
she loves uncle louis
ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general
feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad
lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason
the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other
your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps
instantly loves fred
“is that what heartbreak is”
“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”
albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him
loves your family with his entire being
sebastian: 844 words
“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”
lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit
that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol
“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”
bruh
this man gives you three in four years LMFAO
two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year
you wanted to smack sebastian
when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense
it was terrifying
they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan
and the satan was your eldest one
he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body
your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament
and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father
it was FINE right
you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you
your daughter was birthed, she grew up
and you cried
“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”
“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”
you sulk for a lil bit
but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids
thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth
smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other
“WHYD YOU HIT ME”
“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”
finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing
“father does it!”
“your father’s stupid”
speaking of your daughter
she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism
spoils her more than he spoils you
did she glance at a toy at a passing store?
he buys more toys than he should from said store
you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy
and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob
if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her
oh boy
get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas
“little sister will be protected at all costs”
since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it
doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so
but honestly loves that your second son is so literate
lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots
kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town
anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right
you got ray, norman, and emma
granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was
regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together
sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag
he had half a mind to scold him
but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—
bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”
louis is so fed up lmao
albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”
william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library
your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages
your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites
they don’t show it, but you just KNOW
your eldest could care less about that though
as long as you and his father still love him
and of course you both do
and fred is definitely your youngers favorite
they like to hang out in the garden
ok they still fight all the time though
just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands
their sister likes to join in for the hell of it
but if someone wrongs any of the children
just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too
yeah,,, good luck to them and their families
they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them
fred: 241 words
cmon yall are like,, young
but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it
he wants one
and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl
since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father
everyone who meets her would die for her
ABSOLUTE CUTIE
especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them
needless to say she grows up loving plants
any type of plant
the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time
no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock
this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each
was afraid she was gonna cry
“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”
she was like 4 at the time
and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her
guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness
but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her
fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around
everyone just loves her ok
moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji
#moriarty the patriot#moriarty the patriot x reader#yuukoku no moriarty#yuukoku no moriarty x reader#william james moriarty#william moriarty#william james moriarty x reader#william moriarty x reader#louis james moriarty#louis moriarty#louis james moriarty x reader#louis moriarty x reader#albert james moriarty#albert moriarty#albert james moriarty x reader#albert moriarty x reader#sebastian moran#sebastian moran x reader#fred porlock
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𝐈𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞
________________________
ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ᴘʏʀᴏᴋɪɴᴇᴛɪᴄ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ: (ANON) heey!! Can you please write something (possibly smut pls) in which Bucky falls in love with Tony's adoptive daughter but they have to keep it a secret?
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: SMUT 18+, fluff, age gap (you’re like mid-twenties and Bucky’s early thirties) angry Tones, Steve being such an asshole lmao
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: I imagine that you were like thirteen to fifteen during the attack in new york and your parents uh… died ig and Tony took you in and they find out you got super powers teehee
________________________
It started when the Avengers had their first movie with Bucky as a new recruit. He had completed his evaluations and was applicable to join the team. That’s when he met you for the first time.
You were this beautiful ball of craziness and light and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were tipsy, he could tell and every sudden burst of laughter or even a sneeze you’d spark a flame setting something on fire making you laugh even more.
He practically fell in love with you that day.
Weeks later he chalked it up and asked Steve more about you. He told Bucky that your parents had died when you were young during the attack on New York almost ten years ago now and Tony took it upon himself to take you in and protect you.
“How did you guys know about her powers?”
“We didn’t. Few days after she moved into the Tower she sneezed during breakfast and set her food on fire. I don’t think she knew about them either.”
“Who were her parents?”
“We don’t know. She told us their names but it’s like they don’t exist; no medical history, socials, nothing.”
“Weird.”
You were a mystery, a beautiful mystery. But one thing everyone was that you were Tony’s daughter. Adopted, but still. And Tony still didn’t like him. It was an argument on it’s own to even let near the compound; telling him that he wanted to date his daughter would send him into cardiac arrest.
So you guys are sneaking around.
Of course you noticed his shy and lingering eyes. You were flattered. You agreed a bunch that Bucky was one of the most gorgeous men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. You didn’t push anything and waited for him to come to you. And when he did, he came hard, literally.
It started when Steve was away on a mission in Berlin. Bucky had woken up from a nightmare and he hadn’t had one in weeks. During his time here, because of his infatuation with you, he grew close to you.
You laid under him so perfectly; like you were meant to be there. The way you bit your lip to muffle your moans so you wouldn’t wake anyone. The way your eyes fluttered when he hit that particular spot. The stinging from your nails dragging down his back.
“Fucking hell, you feel so good wrapped around me, doll,” he grunted as he continued to thrusted in and out of you.
“Oh god, Bucky,” you moaned before pulling him down to connect your lips together.
“Ugh, your dad’s gonna kill me,” he grunted.
“Fuck him,” you chuckled breathlessly.
Breakfast the next morning was foul. Everyone was eating as normal and Steve was set to fly back in from Berlin, but y couldn’t shake the awkward tension between you and Bucky. Both girls could sense that something had happened and when you told them later that day they nearly screamed like teenage girls.
“You can’t tell anyone! Especially Tony!”
“We won’t say anything,” Nat giggled, “He’s gonna kill you.”
“Not if he kills Bucky first,” Wanda snorted.
Since then every lingering touch, every persistent stare, you found yourselves in either room making the most of however many minutes you had together until someone came looking for you. Your chest pressed against his, combing your fingers through his hair as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
“You’re absolutely irresistible, doll,” Bucky whispered against your ear.
“Fuck, we’re gonna get caught one day,” you panted.
“I know but we haven’t yet, so be a good girl and turn around for me so I can that gorgeous ass while I fuck you from behind.”
You turned over, getting on your hands and knees instantaneously feeling a pleasurable sting from Bucky’s hand on your cheek. He quickly soothed the pain by rubbing his hand over the red mark before gliding up your spine to softly rub your back.
He slowly slid back in through your folds eliciting a moan from you both. His pelvis slapping against your soft skin, the sound echoing lewdly through the room. Your arms gave out and your face buried into the sheets under you letting Bucky hit deeper inside you making you nearly scream.
You threw your head back up covering your mouth to muffle the moans. Bucky bit his lip harshly in an attempt but wasn’t as successful as you were. His hips snapped violently, stuttering every now and then as he got closer to a release.
“God, Buck! I’m gonna cum! Fuck!” you whined.
“Shit,” Bucky groaned before spilling inside you, coating your walls with hot cum.
He fell forward pressing soft kisses to your slightly sweaty skin. He lifted himself and turned you around, settling between your legs lazily kissing you in your post sex bliss. You looked so pretty with your hair spread out on the sheets and the marks that littered your neck and your breasts. He truly fell in love with you and you did for him too.
“Y/n,” he whispered looking intimately into your eyes.
“Bucky,” you whispered back with a grin.
“I lo-”
“Hey, Buck. I’ve been looking for- What the fuck!” Steve barged through the door to find you two nude in each other's arms. You tucked your face in your shoulder away from the door in shame and Bucky saw red. He reached above your head immediately and threw as hard as he could at the intruder.
“Get out!”
Steve slammed the door shut with wide eyes and furrowed brows. Did he see what he thinks he saw? He went to the lab to look for Tony.
“Hey, Tony, do you know about Y/n and Bucky?”
“Excuse me?” he sassed.
“I uh- I found them together. In Buck’s room. Uh... naked.”
Tony slowly raised his head with an evil expression staring directly into Steve making the big super soldier feel timid.
“What!”
You and Bucky cleaned yourselves up and changed as soon as Steve left. You sat next to each other on his bed unsure of what’s to come next.
“Maybe Steve won’t say anything?” Bucky shrugged.
“My dad’s gonna kill me,” you sighed.
“Hey, I won’t let him-”
“Get the hell away from my daughter!” Tony shouted slamming the door to Bucky’s bedroom opened; behind him stood and guilty Steve and you felt rage.
“You fucking told on us!” you spiraled fire around your fingers ready to fight for revenge. Your hands and arms glowed bright red and orange and yellow and pits of fire glowed in your eyes. Steam practically
“Hey calm down,” Bucky grabbed your waist. He stepped in front you and lifted your chin to look at him. The second your eyes met with his, your entire body cooled down and you felt yourself fall in the ocean that are his eyes; as if a wave had dissipated the fire you created.
“Hey, what the hell is going on?” Tony fumed.
“Leave her alone. She has nothing to do with this,” Bucky defended.
“The hell she does. You’re sleeping with my daughter!”
“I’m not talking about this; I’m talking about what we have. If it was anyone else, you wouldn’t be having a cow,” Bucky growled.
“Tony,” you stepped forward.
“Dad,” you whispered; Tony's eyes snapped to yours.
“Please, I love him.”
“No,” he couldn’t accept it.
“Well, whether or not you like it, we’re gonna be together.”
“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“We’ll just keep sneaking around like we have been for months.”
“Months!”
“Yes, months. And it would’ve been longer if it wasn’t for you!” you pointed at Steve, who casted his eyes away in guilt.
“Dad, please. I love Bucky so much; and you’re not going to take him away from me,” you cried.
Tony noticed how sincere you spoke. And the way he easily calmed you down; he knew there was love between you two. He wouldn’t be to live with himself if he took something that clearly made you so happy away from you. As much as he couldn’t move past his issues with Bucky he knows that Bucky was right and that this has nothing to do with you.
“I don’t want any more accidents with walking in your private time. You’re lucky it was Steve and not me; I would’ve killed you both on the spot,” he said to you.
“Thank you, Dad,” you hugged him tightly before going back to Bucky’s side.
“And you; if you so much as put her in a bad mood, I’ll fucking kill you,” Tony said before leaving.
“Well, well, well,” Bucky looked at Steve.
“Bucky, leave him alone; it’s not like he almost ruined our lives and tore us apart,” you chuckled.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t think freak out like that,” Steve apologized.
“And why didn’t you lock the door?” he asked.
“Yeah, why didn’t you?” you looked at Bucky with furrowed brows.
“Don’t turn on me, this is not my fault!” Bucky defended as you and Steve shared a laugh.
“Well, I’m happy for you guys. You’re good together,” Steve smiled before walking out and closing the door.
“Wow, Toyn fucking terrifying when he’s in dad mode,” Bucky turned to you.
“Yeah, but he’ll come around.”
“I love you too, by the way.”
“I love you, Bucky.”
==========================
ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)
@mathletemadison
@buckybarnes101
@l-sofiamia-l
@Pluto-grl
Taglist?
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes smut#marvel fics#marvel smut
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I'd love to hear more of your Phobditor HCs!!
ohoho thank you for enabling me anon i am going to kiss you directly on the mouth /pl
also slight warning for spoilers to the new(??) ending of project nexus!! i don't talk explicitly about what happens in general, but the stuff involving phobos is mentioned in the very first hc so for those of you who don't wanna be spoiled you can just skip that one lol. grab sum popcorn lads this one's a long one snbcnkcnvmv
Phobditor HCs!!
rbs very much appreciated 👉👈
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so i hc that phobos didn't actually get banished at the end of MPN, but he did get his ass handed to him to the point where he was so injured and drained of energy that he couldn't use most of his abilities. he went into hiding for a while and eventually found the AAHW, which he proceeded to join since he didn't really have anywhere else to go. after he'd healed and returned to his full strengh the auditor recognised how potentially useful he could be as a second in command, but ofc he'd have to earn her trust first. normally i don't try to make things make sense like this but since the auditor isn't actually in MPN i thought i'd at least try lmao
the auditor: ruthless girlboss by day, feral spouse-adjacent shithead by night
phobos is basically the same but instead he's manipulate mansplain by day and malewife manwhore by night /hj
before they got closer they'd never really physically interacted w/ each other, so phobos kind of assumed the auditor would be at least slightly painful to touch [cuz yknow. she's made of fire lmao]. plus he'd witnessed her setting things and people on fire with her bare hands before and he'd rather not get turned into a walking bonfire, thanks. the closest she'd ever been to touching him previously was like flicking the antenna on his helmet to piss him off
but like way, WAY later he finds out that audi can actually manipulate the temperature of their flames to an extent, so when they touch his hand for the first time he's really surprised when they're just like. pleasantly warm. kinda like the fuzziness you feel after you drink something hot but on the outside of your body
however this has also resulted in phobos using her as a mobile safety blanket lmao. sometimes if it gets too cold in the office he'll wander up to her and bug her until she folds a wing around him and tucks his head under her chin
when he's being a shithead sometimes she'll just pick him up by the back of his jacket and drag him off like a disobedient kitten lmao
They don't really have a super crazy height difference normally [i hc that audi is around 6'3 and phobos is 5'10 if he's not slouching] but sometimes she just morphs herself to have a several-foot height advantage just to fuck with him. like she'll appear in his office as this 9-foot-tall behemoth and he'll just be like "?? excuse me?? ma'am?? you can't do this to me???"
before he got to know her better, phobos had no idea the auditor preferred she/they pronouns over they/it like the agents around him seemed to think. he never made a big deal out of it and never explicitly brought it up, but he remembers to switch it up for her every now and then. plus whenever audi overhears him doing that she gets all fuzzy inside sfbfnckvj
phobos really likes her wings. he actually might be a little jealous of them, but he'd never tell her that sfvngk
ever since audi found out about this, they tend to subtly unfurl them and use them to gesticulate more when he's around. occasionally she'll use the claws at the peaks of her wings on touchscreens in place of a finger n stuff. she's also [gently] swatted him upside the head with a wing a few times when he was being a dickhead, but it doesn't really hurt him lol
she also lets him pet them when they're not busy. contrary to what he'd assumed, it doesn't actually feel like a whole lot to her - she's described the feeling as something similar to how it feels to have someone tracing their fingers along the back of your hand
phobos stims sometimes!! he has a bad habit of masking while he's working since a few of them are vocal and he doesn't want to distract anyone, but if he's just hanging out with audi he's totally chill. one of his more common ones is when he thinks out loud, either quietly narrating his current train of thought or saying unrelated words - usually confirmations like 'yeah' or 'mhm' - out loud cuz he thinks they're fun to say. occasionally he'll start humming low in his throat kinda like a microwave cuz he likes how his voice feels in his chest
also when he's standing idle sometimes he holds his arms closer to his chest and fidget with them
the auditor doesn't stim, but to people who know them well their wings are like big signs that can wordlessly describe how they're feeling [which is like my favourite thing to write cos wing emoting is really fun skdjbknk]. occasionally they might subtly flutter their wings when they're very pleased or receive good news, or flare them out when they're irritated/stressed
i always forget that phobos is actually like super powerful in canon so i hc that audi does too lmao. like it always slips her mind that he can teleport too so she'll dramatically disappear after telling him off for doing some dumb shit and fuckin scream when he somehow appears in the same room as her less than a second later
phobos has a red and black lava lamp in his office!! he'd never admit it but he got it cuz it reminds him of audi :]
phobos loves watching audi in combat for some reason. i mean he already likes watching them do stuff so he can backseat drive, but he's also quietly admitted that her fighting style is interesting to watch
he can't really put it into words, but it's because the way they fight looks incredibly effortless and fluid, mainly due to them having so much time to adapt to and understand their powers [both their original powers and the ones granted by the halo]. when phobos' own abilities started to surface he was incredibly unstable and struggled to properly harness them for months, so he thinks it's nice to watch someone who actually knows what they're doing for once.
much to the auditor's surprise, phobos is actually a bit insecure behind all that confudence, particularly about scars. after being close to her for a while, phobos came out of his shell a bit and explained how he managed to grant himself his powers/abilities, which is something i'll absolutely go further in depth with later [via a longer hc that i'm gonna post eventually lol] but to summarise he basically infused himself with raw madness in what he's eloquently dubbed 'the incident'. Of course, doing that to himself didn't come without consequence, and he's permanently scored with a variation of lightning & burn scars on his forearms, thighs, and most of his torso.
for the longest time, the most casual thing he'd wear even around just her was the long-sleeved sweater he wore underneath his trench coat, and he refused to change even if he was literally overheating. though eventually after he told her about what happened he felt way more comfortable and now whenever they're in their shared room audi practically has to throw a shirt at him to get him to wear one sbkcjcnk
the auditor has a sort of subspace/pocket dimension where they can store different items and recall them at will. normally it's pretty empty, but ever since she grew to like phobos she's started keeping miscellaneous things in there for him. sometimes she pulls out a drink or snack that he likes, sometimes she pulls out a little water gun with phobos' name scrawled on it and shoots him with it when he's being a shithead
they are both,, SO fucking touch-starved. like they will not let go of each other [at least if they're not currently in the middle of something or around agency employees] cuz internally they're both just going "wow!!! that's a hand i'm holding!!!!! there's a hand holding my hand!!!! wow!!!!!! i love this!!!!!"
having one eye isn't exactly the best thing for depth perception, especially when you're really tired, so sometimes audi has to hold phobos' hand and guide him around in the mornings because he can [and has] walked into walls and counters
even since before they became a thing, phobos had been a little envious of the auditor's halo and the powers it granted her. he used to subtly try to yoink it from her, maliciously at first but far more playfully later, where he'd like lightly grab it and give it a gentle spin above her head like a mobile. but his infatuation with the halo kinda died after she decided to let him borrow/try it out once by allowing him to link with it
by linking i essentially mean like wearing it, but the halo is so powerful that you can't just 'wear' it without letting it bond with a part of you
long story short, he went into it with far too much overconfidence & cockiness and the halo violently rejected him, kind of like how it rejected the auditor once. he wasn't at all prepared for the sheer amount of power that surged through him the moment it started to link with him, so it essentially short-circuited his brain and knocked him unconscious for the better part of a week. when he woke again, the auditor told him he was lucky his head didn't explode and calmly suggested they never tried that again, and he felt inclined to agree.
of course, he still toys with the halo while the auditor's properly linked with it since he knows it can't link to more than one host at a time. and despite his seeming ease and "it's in the past" sort of mentality about the whole event, if someone mentions the concept of him actually taking the halo and linking with it again, he'll shudder and shake his head, saying it's not his place to do so.
the auditor has no doubt it delivered a pretty harsh blow to his ego [being rejected by the thing that would make him a god would prolly do that], but knows he's too prideful to admit that.
audi likes listening to phobos when he goes off on super long monologues, especially if they're like those super cheesy villain monologues. like he could literally be talking about anything and she'll sit there to hear him out, especially if it's less related to work and more about himself
the auditor is super deliberate in the way they pronounce things and they tend to casually drawl their words out to further cement their cool, unbothered boss persona. however the way she talks doesn't really intimidate phobos anymore since he's also been next to her right after she's been woken up, when she's mumbling quietly & slurring some of her words together. he knows the big scary boss side of the auditor is just a persona used for everyone but him, so he feels a lot more at ease with them even when they're trying to be scary
even after being together for a while, phobos still has no fucking idea what the auditor is made of. like he's admitted to her that he's genuinely clueless, and if she lets him he'll spend like 99% of their downtime quietly interacting with her flames [read: curling his fingers through them and petting them] while he muses about his hypotheses for how stuff like her liquidy-shadow form works. they were a little suspicious of his motives at first, but after they relaxed they realised he was just genuinely curious and willing to share his concepts to see if he was right
they have like. the smoothest banter anyone at the agency has seen. like it's super cheesy back-and-forth stuff that wouldn't sound out of place in an 80s sitcom, but it just kinda flows out when they're both comfortable. and ofc they'd deny it if anyone mentioned it but they literally banter like an old married couple lmAO
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#madness combat#madness auditor#madness phobos#phobditor#this ended up being way longer than i anticipated but writing this was the most fun i've had in months /gen#oh and sorry if the formatting is a little fucky lmao#i tried to keep related hcs closer together while setting different ones apart if that makes sense??#gfnsbkjck i had to refrain myself from writing more about certain hcs like audi's wing emoting or phobos fucking up his link with the halo#if anyone wants me to elaborate on those i won't shut up about them ever LMAO#still tysm anon this was very very fun /gen#gel.txt
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i do adore
pairing: wanda maximoff x gn!reader
genre: f l u f f
word count: 1775
warnings: yet again, i did not proofread this lmao. i am just typing whatever comes to my mind. otherwise, it’s just really fluffy so pls enjoy!!
a/n: good morning, i am writing this at 1am. i should be working on my college apps but this fic was just living in my mind rent-free and would not leave until i wrote it. also, this fic is inspired by and has lyrics from a song called “i do adore” by mindy gledhill. it’s a really cute song :’DD
Everything you do, it sends me
Higher than the moon with every
Twinkle in your eye
You strike a match that lights my heart on fire
Ever since you had joined the Avengers, a certain brunette always caught your eye. You’d find yourself paying more attention to her than anyone else. At this moment, you lean against the kitchen counter, completely entranced by the way she spoke animatedly to Natasha. The way her hair cascaded down her shoulders. The way she waved her hands around, using her actions to emphasize what she’s saying. How the kitchen lights gleamed in her eyes, illuminating them.
God, she’s so cute. And smart. And genuine. And caring. I- “Hello? Y/N? You there?” You are quickly brought out of your thoughts as a grimy hand waved in front of your face, blocking your view of Wanda. Your face scrunches up in disgust as you grip Tony’s grease-covered hand to stop it from moving, only to release it immediately after. Smiling, Wanda watches you glance at your now-dirty hands and start searching for a towel, careful not to get anything else dirty. You mumble, “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, just..distracted.”
Natasha notices that the young girl’s attention is elsewhere and decides to put a pause on the conversation. As she bids her goodbyes, Wanda takes it as her cue to head over to where you were, crouched next to the cabinets, searching for soap. “Need help?” The melody of her words steals your attention as you turn your head, meeting her blue eyes. Suddenly, your heart begins to pound and you can hear the heartbeats in your ears. At a loss for words, you shake your head and quickly rush out of the kitchen, not caring about your dirty hands. Wanda just stands in the kitchen alone, wondering about what just happened.
When you're near, I hide my blushing face
And trip on my shoelaces
Grace just isn't my forté
But it brings me to my knees when you say
Hello, how are you, my darling, today?
I fall into a pile on the floor
It’s been only a day since the kitchen incident and that’s when you realized that you, Y/N L/N, have a crush on the one and only Wanda Maximoff. Groaning and draping your arm over your eyes, you ask seemingly no one “Oh, God. What if she doesn’t like me back?” You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling as you begin to think about her. You like, maybe even love, everything about her. Flashes of her laughs and smiles run through your head, like cars on a freeway until a knock on your door disturbs you. It creaks open and you have yet to remove your arm that’s covering your eyes.
You feel the bed dip as you hear the voice you’ve grown to love, “Hey, how are you, darling? It seemed like you weren’t feeling well yesterday.” Feeling the blood rush to your cheeks, you bury your face into the pillow as you slowly melt into it. In a muffled voice, “I’m fine, Wans. I think I’m just tired.” She knows that there’s something you’re not telling her but she refrains from looking into your thoughts. “Okay, well, I just wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready.” and with that she gets up and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
Sighing, you sit up and start getting ready for the day. Your mind can’t stop thinking about the way she called you darling, causing you to fumble with everything you come into contact with. In your flustered state, you nearly drop your phone, accidentally put on mismatching socks, and trip over yourself as you open the door. Quickly composing yourself, you take a breath and start heading towards breakfast. Oh boy, what a start to my morning.
We're as different as can be
I've noticed you're remarkably relaxed
And I'm overly uptight
We balance out each other nicely
“Y/N?! When’s the last time you took a break?”
“Uhhh, I’m not sure...but I just have so much paperwork to complete, I can’t really afford to take a break.”
“Nope. You’re taking one right now. Your health and sanity is more important than some paperwork.”
“But, Wans, I-”
“No buts. I’m going to a café and I’m dragging you with me”
Admitting defeat, you place the pen in your hand down and mark out where you stopped. Your joints crack as you rise up from the chair that you’ve been sitting in for almost 8 hours. Wanda gives you a smile and holds her hand out, signaling for you to take it. Gently taking a hold of her hand, she pulls you along with her, not noticing how clammy they are.
A few minutes after you leave the compound, you readjust your grip on her hand to interlace each others’ fingers. As you walk at a steady rhythm, you feel more relaxed, all of the stress from the paperwork leaving your body. Wanda takes note of how your shoulders aren’t as tense and you seem to be enjoying yourself. She carefully looks over your figure; how the sun reflects in your eyes, bringing out their color, how the wind gently ruffles your hair, how you sigh contently when you lean your head against her shoulder.
“Thanks for bringing me out here.” She squeezes your hand, “Of course, Y/N. I care about you. Plus, it looked like you really needed a break from that hellish paperwork.” Laughing at her comment, you don’t notice how Wanda looks at you as if you were a masterpiece in an art gallery; her eyes, full of adoration.
Puppy love is hard to ignore
When every little thing you do, I do adore
Arriving at the café shortly after, Wanda holds the door open for you as you step in, the smell of coffee beans and gingerbread floating through the air. She giggles as your eyes light up when they spot the gingerbread cookies on display. You turn your head to face her, offering a shy smile that sends butterflies into her stomach. Walking up to the counter, you realize that you aren’t holding hands anymore so you slowly link your pinky with hers, hoping that she’ll get the message. As she orders your guys’ drinks and a gingerbread cookie for you, she feels your finger hook on to hers. While the barista finalizes the order, Wanda releases your pinky finger, only to reattach her hand to yours, interlocking fingers once more.
After paying, you opt to sit at a table next to a large window with plants placed along the windowsill. Wanda looks at the outside world, lost in her thoughts as she unconsciously brushes her thumb against your knuckles in a soothing motion. You take this time to commit this moment to memory -- Wanda watching the cars pass by as the golden sunset behind her creates a glowing aura surrounding her body. Spending a few more seconds basking in this quiet moment with her, you realize that you want more than what you have with her. You want to wake up next to her. You want to be the shoulder that she cries on. You want to be the person whose arms hold her up and protect her when she is too tired to do so. You want to be hers.
Hearing her name being called, Wanda pries her eyes away from the cars and sees you staring at her with eyes full of adoration and love. She gives your hand a light squeeze and promises to be back as she heads to the counter to pick up the drinks and cookie. As she returns with the drinks in hand, you graciously take yours and, with a child-like excitement, ask “Is that for me?” when you notice the gingerbread cookie in her hand. Giggling at your reaction, she tells you yes and slides it over to you.
Finding words, I mutter
Tongue-tied, twisted
Foot in mouth, I start to stutter
Ha, ha, Heaven help me
The two of you fall into an effortless conversation that never stops until the café reaches its closing hours. You notice the time and can’t believe that you’ve been talking for nearly three hours with Wanda. As you apologize to the employees for staying so late, Wanda has a fond smile and reaches out for your hand. Grabbing her hand, you step outside and begin your walk back to the compound. For a majority of the walk, it’s quiet with the gentle tapping of your shoes on the sidewalk and occasional car passing by. You keep thinking about Wanda and how much you want to be with her. Wanda glances over, only to see you spaced out, thoughts swirling in your mind.
“What’s on your mind, Y/N?”
“Aren’t you able to read other people’s minds?” you quip.
She chuckles and says, “Yes, but I would never read your mind without consent.” You pause, debating on whether or not you should tell her. Noticing your sudden silence, Wanda tilts her head in confusion and stops walking, pulling you back to her. The stop in movement brings you out of your thoughts. You quickly glance down and reach for her hand that’s not being held. Holding both of her hands, you look up to see her eyes, filled with concern.
“Look, Wans. I-” You sigh and look down at your shoes, unsure of what you want to say. A few moments of silence pass by as you take a deep breath and confess, “Wanda, I really like you. Hell, I might even love you. I love the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh, the way you take care of me and check in on me, the way you control your powers and wield them with such grace. Everything you do, I do adore. And, I just- I...I was wondering if youwouldliketobemygirlfriend?”
Wanda blinks at you with a dumbfounded expression, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that last bit.” You hesitate, “Well, I- uh, um...Wanda, would you like to be my girlfriend?” After hearing those words, she flashes you a smile brighter than the sun and pulls you in a hug. “Yes, I would love to be yours, Y/N.” You release the breath you didn’t notice you were holding and stay in her embrace, soaking in the warmth radiating from her body. She pulls away slightly and moves to kiss you, pausing and searching your eyes for permission. With a slight nod, you move closer and meet her lips halfway. I really do adore her.
tag list (marvel) - @imnotasuperhero
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#*mine#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x gn!reader#wanda maximoff x you#marvel imagine#avengers imagine#scarlet witch#song fic
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Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts
I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode
"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh
"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.
anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid
Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid
Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety
I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.
lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time
Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)
ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)
new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!
..yikes that fridge is empty
"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here
confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)
please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺
"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think
witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)
ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that
she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.
"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she
ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years
I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.
Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years
hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't
Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠
SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??
"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing
also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔
Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne
ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.
wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason
also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.
PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms
"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.
Also, nice snatch Luz 😊
anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here
EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????
"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy
Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.
PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED
but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??
Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.
HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??
"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???
anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here
Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude
ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue
no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now
Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child
Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.
GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)
"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.
ok but this is sweet
NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok
"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this
"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.
I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways
"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.
alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu
NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he
Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.
AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO
ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(
well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend
anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore
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11 hours - part seven
Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader
Summary: bucky is the mystery you can���t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.
Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned
A/N: hello i apologise in advance. pls dont hurt me!!! i would appreciate your feedback and your theories about where this fic is going! i hope this part isn’t too..... upsetting lmao. i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.
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You believed, until now, that you walked the world seeking out dark corners and underbellies other people didn’t want to touch. That’s your job. The current case you're supposed to be working on involves a man suspected of drugging his girlfriend to take nonconsensual nudes of her and sell them to his friends while she slept. You’re well aware the world is a dangerous place.
But things look different now, in a way you never could have imagined before the Lerna. Those men were dead before you could blink, and you know life is expendable and fragile and so easy to take but it’s another thing to see it taken before your eyes. It’s another thing to take it yourself. And you know, now, why Bucky would only show you parts of his life and himself because this whole truth feels like staring directly into the sun - painfully bright, to the point where it’s all you can see and all the good things are reduced to a spotty, hazy blur.
You’re sitting in your office, at your desk where you’re trying to work but you can’t get the sound of bullet casings hitting the floor and the thunk of a knife in skin out of your head. There, in the centre of your tiny office, was where you sat on Bucky’s lap and kissed him and demanded ‘no secrets.’ Too stubborn to know he was keeping them for a reason, that maybe there are things you don't want to know after all. But you can feel his skin under your fingertips and the brush of his stubble as he kissed you, a memory you can touch, and you can’t help but think it still feels worth it. At the end of it all, if it was a choice of the Lerna happening or never having Bucky at all, you know what you’d chose.
As if he can hear you, your phone buzzes with a text from him. Joey’s at 7?
It’s already 6:30. You’re grabbing your keys and leaving the fear on your desk chair as you text him back. Sounds perfect.
It really is. Joey’s is your favourite bar, and just seeing the grimy neon sign outside makes your heart feel less heavy. This, after everything, remains the same. You still feel giddy jogging down the stairs, ready for the heady bass music to push through your chest and a whiskey apple to numb the wounds. It feels like the beginning, half-nervous half-excited to go find Bucky tucked in a booth at the back, dim purple light chiseling out his cheekbones and catching bright on his sharp smile. Back then it was innocent, if a fuck buddy hook-up could be. Now that you know you would do things for Bucky you’d never do for anyone else, that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to remove his brand from your heart- well. You skip a couple more steps as you head down into Joey’s, only a few minutes late.
You don’t slow down as you enter the bar, weaving through patrons searching for a familiar face. Now that you’re here to the urge to see him, to have him in your arms, is almost unbearable. When you do find Bucky, spinning a glass between his fingers in a nervous habit you’ve noticed he has, he feels your eyes on him immediately. He stands and you crash into him, burying your hands under his leather jacket to feel the warmth of his body against your palms. Bucky hugs you back just as harshly, the force of his embrace lifting your toes off the ground. When he pulls away his runs a hand over your head, down your hair, coming to rest by the side of your neck as if to check your pulse and make sure you’re really there.
“You ok?” he asks, bright blue eyes now dark and hooded as he stares down at you.
You nod, unwilling to let go of your grip on the back of his t-shirt even as he pulls away, and say, “Am now.”
“Need to talk to you, it’s important,” Bucky says. He escapes your grip with ease, because he’s huge and strong and it’s easy to forget that when he softens for you. He sits at the booth and you slide in across him, watching as he downs the rest of the straight whiskey in his glass like its water. That bad feeling is back, like back at Steve’s tattoo shop, but you don’t want it here. You fumble for Bucky’s hand across the table, and he lets you hold it but it doesn’t stop the dread settling heavy in your gut. You squeeze his fingers tighter, just in case.
“Is everything alright?” you ask. “Are we- did the cops find out-“
“No, no,” Bucky says, shaking his head down at the table. His gaze catches on your intwined fingers, the glint of his signet rings in the dim bar light, and says, “The cops aren’t the problem.”
“But there is a problem,” you say, and now Bucky raises his eyes to look at you.
“I need to tell you something, it’s important” Bucky says, again, and the dread rises from your stomach like bile to your throat. “You have to understand this, so you can see that I’m not- that this isn’t just-“
“Bucky.” He lets out a ragged breath as you cut him off mid ramble, scrubs a hand through his hair. You hate the way your voice wobbles when you say, “You’re scaring me.”
You almost make yourself laugh as those words leave your mouth. This scares you? Bucky, frustrated and nervous and clinging to your hand like a lifeline, but when he walked over lifeless bodies he sunk bullets into with a giant rifle on his back - that was just fine.
“You know when we were at Steve’s, and we were talking about Hydra? About Rumlow? Do you remember that?” Bucky asks. He stares at you like he’s imploring you to say it for him, whatever it is he’s struggling to say, but you don’t understand.
You nod slowly and say, “Natasha said Rumlow had it out for you. You said Hydra is your biggest rival.”
“Yes, right,” Bucky says, nodding a bit manically. He’s still gripping your hand tight. “Rumlow hated me, and as far as we can tell - or Nat, I guess, she’s been looking into it - he was acting on his own, to get to me.”
“That’s good, right?” You don’t feel sure, with the way Bucky is acting and looking at you all glassy-eyed. “No big gang war, or whatever.”
“I need you to understand why Rumlow hated me, because it’s not just- it wasn’t just about him, ok?” Bucky says, and now he’s looking around the room like that night in your office. Casing the bar, looking for exits. “He’s dead, but none of this died with him.”
“What is ‘this’?” you ask, and wonder for the first time, do I want to find out?
“The first time I met Rumlow was in the hospital, a couple of days after I got back from Afghanistan,” Bucky says. “I’d been honourably discharged, my arm was all fucked up and fried from a chem bomb and I lost all sensation in it so they sent me home. I remember I was lying in the bed looking out the window, and it was snowing. I hadn’t been anywhere but a desert in so long and I was like, what do I do know? I don’t own a coat anymore. I’m a black ops sniper, that’s not exactly a transferrable skill - can’t even put it on a resume because it’s classified. My arm’s fried and ugly lookin’. I’m fucked.”
“You must’ve been so scared,” you say. Bucky meets your eyes, and you can see it haunting him in the back of them - so much heat and fire and pain left behind, so much cold and unknown and pain lying in front. Your dad has told you a similar story, when he came back from Iraq, and he had the same look in his eyes Bucky does right now.
“I was,” he says, and you squeeze his fingers. He looks towards your hands again and says, “I was, and they knew it.”
“Hydra,” you say, and you know you’re right. Bucky nods anyway.
“Rumlow came into my hospital room and told me, Hydra helps guys like me. They helped him and look - he’s got a job and money and friends and a team again. A purpose. But I said no. I’m black ops, I know shady guys when I seem ‘em and Rumlow reeked of it. Just, Hydra doesn’t like being told no.”
“They target vulnerable, traumatised vets in hospitals?” you ask, disgusted. You can taste the hate that boils up, and that ugly, angry part picturing Bucky lying in a bed so alone and afraid and imagining someone like Rumlow trying to take advantage of him like that - that ugly part says I’m glad he’s dead.
“They’re highly trained and easily moulded,” Bucky says in way of answer, and you shudder at the thought. “But seem Rumlow failed and it was my fault. He failed over and over again every time they sent him to recruit me. So he hated me, and then I started the Commandos with Steve and Sam and Nat to target them. The only way to save the next poor bastard like me from ending up with Hydra is to end them, except there ain't a cop in the city who can touch them.”
“But you can,” you say, and you know it’s stupid but your heart has never been known as terribly smart, so you add, “Bucky, that’s dangerous.”
He smiles, small but it’s there, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckles as he says, “I know, doll. I don’t know if you know this about me, but stupid’s kinda my thing.”
“Very funny,” you say, rolling your eyes at Bucky’s cheeky grin now splitting his face. As quick as it came, though, his smile dies and so does the small spark of hope that maybe this story has a happy ending.
“I’ve made Hydra my enemy and I can’t change that. I don’t want to,” Bucky says, nodding solemnly at his own words and you watch him physically turn cold, stony and distant in the space of a second. “But that means that as long as Hydra is around, they’re going to be coming after me. First Rumlow, but it won’t stop there. They’ll come and keep coming and what if, one time, I don’t get there in time? Or you don’t get to leave your phone on, or even make it to a location before they shoot you in the back of the car?”
“No,” you say. You’re not stupid, you know where this is going and just- no. Bucky is being deliberately harsh, speaking loud and unfiltered to try and make it easier to do what he’s about to do but you won’t let him. That dread turned bile has now turned into straight, acidic fire pumping through veins and it hurts.
Bucky smiles faint and sad, says, “You said it yourself - it’s dangerous no matter what.”
“That's not what I meant,” you say, shaking your head vehemently, wildly, as if you can physically shake Bucky of this stupid idea and the actual pain you’re in just entertaining this conversation. “You know that’s not what I meant, what are- you asked me to stay, Bucky. You asked me, and now you want-“
“I know, I know,” Bucky says, tugging your hand close to him now but it’s your turn to try and pull away, albeit unsuccessfully. “I know and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you almost died. Do you understand that? They would have killed you, and the only reason is me.”
“That’s such bullshit,” you say, trying and failing to pull your hand free of his grip but he isn’t letting go now and the death-grip he has on you, tethering you to him even as he pushes you away, makes your eyes sting with ugly tears.
“It’s not,” Bucky says, so sad, and you just want to kiss that guilt away for him even still, even as your heart is breaking under his fist. “You will always be in danger until the day comes where I can’t protect you, and I won’t do that to you. I can’t, I can’t be the reason you get hurt.”
“You can’t protect me if you’re not around,” you say, so soft you can barely be heard over Joey’s house music but honestly, you might as well be completely alone for how little you care about the bar around you.
“The safest place for you is away from me,” Bucky says, and that makes you laugh. Humourless, fucking painfully, but you laugh and Bucky glares so dark you’re reminded of the look in his eyes when he stared down at Rumlow’s body bleeding out on the ground. Through gritted teeth he says, “You think I would do this if there was any other way?”
“There is another way,” you say, glaring right back. “There’s not being a coward about it, Bucky. You lead a dangerous life, I get it. Believe me, I fucking get it, and I chose to stay. Ok? I wanna be here anyway, so why does my choice not matter to you? Is this some stupid excuse to get rid of me?”
“Don’t say that,” Bucky all but growls, and you should be scared. He’s scary, Bucky is dangerous by his own admission but you refuse to be afraid of him. Even when he’s trying to force you to be, holding your hand too tight and dragging you around the booth so he can pin you to the seat and you both know the only way you can move is if he lets you. As if he thinks he can scare you away from him, if he can’t reason you to go.
“I don’t care how dangerous it is,” you say into his seething face, inches from yours, teeth bared in a truly terrifying snarl as he pins you to the leather in a show of strength that will leave bruises tomorrow. “I don’t wanna be away from you.”
For half a moment, you really think Bucky is going to hit you. He moves so fast, and you’ve never seen his face look like that - hurt and angry and upset and half-insane all at once. But he just presses his forehead to yours, closes his eyes and breathes you in, and for another half a moment you get to think, maybe he’ll change his mind.
“You’re all I want,” Bucky breathes, so soft and quiet you almost don’t hear him if it wasn’t said almost directly into your skin. “But that’s selfish.”
“I don’t care,” you say, like a mantra now, or a prayer. Just hoping he’ll hear you, “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.”
“You should,” Bucky says, and pulls away from you just as fast as he came in. “I won’t be the reason you end up dead.”
Bucky sits before you like a solid brick wall - unbreakable, immovable, cold and blank. His eyes are shuttered from you and you know there’s no way to get to him now. There’s nothing else you can say. If you aren’t enough for him to push past his fear and love you anyway, nothing you say is going to change his mind. Just because you know it’s true doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though, as you sit there boxed in by this menacing stranger looking at you in a way you never want to be looked at again. Like he already doesn’t know you. Like you’ve already been forgotten.
“This was always gonna happen, wasn’t it?” you ask, more to yourself than to Bucky. You laugh at his silence, the flat set of his mouth and clenched fists on his thighs. Maybe if you never went to that first party at Natasha’s house and remained at arms length, sneaking out his window and never staying the night, then maybe you could’ve had him just a little bit longer. But you didn’t, and now you’re hurt in a way you’ve never been before. Your dad never prepared you to survive a pain like this.
You slide out the other side of the booth, tripping slightly as you climb to unsteady feet. It’s hard to see through unshed tears but you don’t bother looking back at Bucky still sat in the booth. You weave through people just as fast as when you came in, but for the opposite reason now - you can’t leave behind this dim-lit bar painted with the gorey tatters of your heart fast enough.
When you emerge onto the street you know Bucky has followed you, his hulking presence palpable behind you as you stand on the sidewalk and try and calm your rapid heartbeat. You’re surprised its still beating with how much it hurts, especially when Bucky places a hand on your shoulder and cracks your heart neatly in two. He says, softly under New York traffic, “Let me drive you home. Please.”
Instead of asking why, why does he care, why does he want to, if the safest place is away from you then leave me alone, what you say is a mildly whiny, “You don’t know where I live.”
“I’ll put the address in my phone,” Bucky says, calm and low as if to placate you but you’re well past that point now. You’re crying openly on the street like a lunatic as Bucky gently takes your hand and leads you towards his bike, manhandles you onto it, clicks a helmet on over your head. It feels cruel for him to be this soft after so ruthlessly tearing you apart, but you suppose it’s better than being left alone in the street like he never cared at all.
When you pull up to your apartment building Bucky kills the engine and leans in close to you before you have a chance to jump off and run away. You think, surely he’s not about to kiss me right now and you really hate the part of you that hopes he does, but he doesn’t. He just leans in close and whispers into your helmet, “They could be watching your place, after what happened. I’m so sorry.”
You close your eyes. Bucky’s right, this will never stop, but that doesn’t mean you want to face it alone. Your whole life has been carved out for you only, but just once you thought maybe you could live it with someone else. That’s not a life for you to have, it seems, so you take a deep breath through snotty tears and nod, say, “I can handle it,” because you know you can. You’ll have to.
“I think-“ Bucky starts but falters, bites his lip blanched white before continuing, “They might leave you alone if you make it clear I’m not in your life anymore.”
“You can’t ask me to do that,” you say, and all the resolve you just gathered is shattered as instantly as you found it. You’re crying again because fuck, nothing has ever hurt like this has, from the inside where you can’t find it or heal it or stop it so it just sucks the life out of you one painful second at a time.
“You have to, honey,” Bucky says, and you want to punch him for it. The way he talks to you like he loves you, like he cares, but he can’t if he’s making you do this. Break your own heart to save his. “Scream at me, send me away. They won’t need to target you then.”
“You’re cruel,” you say, pulling away from him. You don’t want to touch him anymore, can’t stand to be this close so you trip off the bike and stumble down the street. Bucky stares after you, his own eyes teary and face screwed up in genuine pain. It could never compare to the sick feelings in your stomach as you take a deep breath and scream, “Go away, Bucky. Fucking leave me alone and never come back or I’ll fucking kill you, you hear me? Fuck off, and don’t come back.”
You can’t help the sob that rips from you, threatening to buckle your knees and break you right on the sidewalk. Bucky is looking at you like you’ve just stuck a knife in his chest but he asked you to, he keeps asking and taking and it’s always you that ends up hurt. You leave him on the street, stumble up the stairs to your apartment and sink to the floor as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. It’s dark in your apartment, nothing but streetlights outside casting shadows on furniture he never touched, but it still feels like he’s haunting you just the same.
Bucky’s bike revs to life and he tears away, the sound ripping straight through and down the street. It leaves you hollowed out, a burnt-through husk curled up on your hardwood floor. You know you’ll never hear that sound again.
****
For your entire life it’s always been you against the world. The only person you could ever trust is yourself, the only one who’s going to look out for you is you and you can’t remember a time where you didn’t think this way. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s nurture, but it’s how you’ve always seen the world.
However, you’re only now starting to feel what being truly alone is actually like.
Bucky’s contact lies open on your phone, but you don’t press call. You won’t. He pushed you away for your own ‘safety,’ for his own fear, and you’ll have to learn to live with his choice. Even though you still love him and always will, you can’t have him and you’ll just have to be ok with that. So you leave this contact photo up on your phone, resting on your coffee table beside your open laptop. You’ve got the input feed of the bug you planted in your dad’s kitchen open, chunky headphones on, scrolling through the audio from the past few days since you’d last seen him.
Your heart is broken by the first man you’ve ever let into your life and the only other person who knows you and who you trust, you’re currently spying on. Now, for the first time, you truly have no one left.
Focusing on work has always been an escape for you, and even when your life is in pieces around you and your heart looks no different, work still pulls through. Even if that work is your own father and the inane conversations he has with himself about the baseball teams on TV, or the calls he makes to his vet friends, or the late-night renditions of ABBA songs you remember well from your childhood. A file lies open on your coffee table with your father’s name on it and pages of notes you’ve made from nearly one hundred hours of audio recordings. You hope beyond hope that you’re just paranoid, and that this time when you go digging you don’t find anything at all.
The only thing you’ve noticed so far is your dad makes a lot of phone calls. They’re long, with a lot of names thrown around you don’t recognise as being his friends or anyone from work he’s mentioned to you before. You write them all down to look up later, but you’ve got to go meet a client so you shut everything down and collect your notes in the file. You hide them, just in case, and grab your leather jacket before you leave. You still have rent to pay. The world goes on around you despite everything being turned upside down, almost as if Bucky never happened at all.
You leave via the back of the building, to come out onto the street closest to the subway station. Usually smokers hang out around there so you aren’t surprised to see two men leaning against the wall, but you are surprised when they star following you down the alley. At this point you’re an old hand at being followed, and the petty part of you brain thinks in Bucky’s direction, see? Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not, dumbass. You sigh to yourself and plan to give them the run around once you clear the alley, but you don’t get a chance to.
From behind you hear a couple of solid thunks, a groan, a muttered curse from one of the men and then one final thunk before silence. You turn around, half afraid of who you’re going to meet once you do and half annoyed because you think you might know who it is. Sure enough, standing there in her leather jacket and a rusted metal pipe from the dumpster in her grip, is Natasha.
She blows a stray strand of hair out of her face and says, “Fancy seeing you here.”
“So he’ll break up with me but will still have me followed,” you say, folding your arms over your chest. Natasha shrugs and you mutter, “Figures.”
“I am always the first to say James is an idiot,” Natasha says, twirling the pipe like a baton in her delicate hands. She grins at you and says, “James is an idiot.”
“I’m aware,” you grit out, glaring at the red-head. “What are you doing here?”
“Making sure you don’t end up as Hydra mince-meat,” Natasha says, “What does it look like?”
“Doing whatever Bucky says even when it’s stupid,” you say. Natasha doesn’t like that, her bright grin dropping into a scowl as she steps up to you. Small, but with a clearly lethal weapon in her hands if the unconscious bodies behind her are anything to go by, she jabs the tip of the pipe into your chest and forces you a step backwards.
“James always has good intentions, even if his logic is sometimes flawed.” She drops the pipe, letting it clang to the floor between you as if to punctuate her saying, “Besides, James didn't tell me to do anything. I volunteered.”
“Why?” you ask, sneering slightly. “I think we both know you don’t trust me, or like me, and you make it very hard to like you.”
Natasha smiles at that, and you hate the face she makes every time you say something she ‘approves’ of - condescending, like she doesn’t expect you to have brain cells and is surprised every time you do. She says, very solemn despite the smile in her eyes, “I owe you.”
That makes you pause. Instantly, like you’re right back in that bar. You can see her groaning body struggling to stand after being thrown into a wall. Rumlow pointing a gun at her back, the blood-thirst emanating off him in waves. Your own hand, as if detached from your body, flinging the knife across the room into his neck before he can put a bullet in Natasha’s.
You swallow thickly, shake your head and say, “No you don’t.”
“I do,” she insists. She steps forward with her hand out, beckoning her fingers like she wants you to hand her something. You just stare at her empty palm for a few seconds before she clicks her tongue and says, “Phone.”
You hand it over without thinking, which was definitely stupid. But Natasha just types away quickly before giving it back and you see you have a new contact with her name attached entered into your phone.
“If you ever need anything,” she says, and taps your phone screen with her nail, “call me.”
It was only minutes ago you were sitting on your couch scrolling through audio from your tapped father’s kitchen thinking you’ve never been more alone in your life. Yet here you are, looking at a helping hand outstretched from the last person you expected it to come from. Your fingers shake slightly as you tuck your phone into your back pocket, and Natasha smiles at you like she understands.
“Thank you,” you say, and you hope she knows you genuinely do mean it.
Natasha nods, then says, “Get out of here, alright? I have to clean this up.”
You suppose that’s Natasha speak for ‘your welcome,’ so you leave her to it. The whole client meeting you can’t focus properly, too busy trying to decide if you feel safer or more afraid at having one of the scariest women you know watching your apartment. By the end of the day, your conclusion is that if Natasha is going to be in your life, its probably best she’s on your side rather than against it.
When you get home that afternoon there is no sign of the two guys Natasha knocked out, nor is she anywhere to be seen. You can’t help but feel watched, though, as you enter your building and climb the stairs. She’s a busy woman and you know she can’t be watching you all the time but you still feel her green eyes on the back of your neck - its not an altogether uncomfortable sensation. That’s something to unpack later, you think, as you collapse on the couch.
You try to resist, but as soon as you sit down and close your eyes the urge to forget about the case you’ve just taken on and look into your own hunches grows too strong. You get up again and fish out your dad’s file again from your hiding place, bringing it back to the couch to flip open. The list of names you’ve been compiling is at the top, scribbled in messy handwriting as you listened to your dad’s one-sided conversations. You tallied up how many times the same name had been mentioned and in what context, however it had been hard to decipher what your dad was talking about with only half the story.
You decide to go looking into the most mentioned name - more of a title, really. Somebody your dad calls Chief shows up in almost every single conversation he has over the phone, and when you were going through the audio it dredged up some strange, suppressed childhood memory. You used to hear him talking to guys downstairs when you were doing your homework, and you always thought he called them ‘chief’ as a nickname or weird, macho term of endearment like how kids in your class would call each other ‘bro’.
Maybe, he was only talking to one guy. You were going to find out.
Starting at your dad’s job, you scroll through their website and LinkedIn profiles to find any link to the name ‘Chief.’ He works as a security guard for a chain of clubs in the city so you are doubtful, and sure enough nothing really comes up to peak your interest. Your dad really only has one other major outlet to look into and that’s the VA, so you have to swallow past the dirty feeling of investigating suffering vets and start scrolling through the website for the Brooklyn VA group attached to the medical centre.
It’s all wholesome stuff and nothing of interest to your snooping at all until you get to a photo gallery from four years ago. It’s dedicated to commemorating the Brooklyn VA and New York Police Department workshop day promoting mental health for vets and servicemen. There are a bunch of photos of group activities and the lunch put on by the VA, and you spot your dad in a couple of them. You’re about to click off when you find one where your dad is posed with another vet and a very official, very dressed up cop. Nothing you haven’t seen at least forty of before in this gallery, but it’s the caption which makes you pause.
It reads, Some of the Brooklyn VA’s finest with NY Chief of Police. It has to be a coincidence, the man’s job title and nothing more. He’s tall, broad, with sandy blonde hair turning grey under his police hat. There are more medals than you can count pinned to his uniform and even in this grainy photo you can tell he would squash your dad like an ant if he gave the Chief of Police a reason to. You’ve never paid attention to this before, steering clear of cops whenever you can, but you find yourself googling him as soon as you can pull yourself away from his mile-long stare.
As soon as the NYPD profile on the Chief of Police loads, your blood turns to ice. You want to say you’re crazy, you’re crazy, you’re paranoid, but name one time your paranoia had led you wrong? Two strange coincidences don’t happen back to back, no matter how disconnected they may appear. Two worlds you never thought you would know, let alone be watching them collide, stare up at you from your computer screen. You can hear Steve’s voice like he’s sitting right next to you, saying “It is strange we haven’t heard anything from Pierce,” and right under a professional portrait of the Chief of Police is his name burning into the back of your eyelids - Alexander Pierce.
You shove your laptop onto the coffee table and stand, pacing back and forth in front of your couch. Scraping a hand through your hair and pulling half of it out of your head in the process, you try to reason your way out of connecting these dots. They’re barely dots, their echoes of dots - so your dad took a photo with the Chief of Police four years ago and he refers to someone he knows as ‘Chief’ as a nickname and Steve mentioned Pierce was someone in Hydra and the Chief of Police happened to be named Alexander Pierce. So what, right?
“Ok, ok, ok, ok,” you say to yourself, rushed and manic. You’ll just ask your dad. He’s your dad, he was never supposed to hide anything from you so why would he start now? If you just ask he might-
You don’t get to finish your thought. Three loud knocks ring through your empty apartment, your doorbell chiming impatiently straight afterwards. You stare at the door with your heart in your throat, long enough for them to ring the doorbell again and a loud, male voice to call out your full name. Someone you don’t recognise, yet they know where you live. You approach the door on silent feet and look through the peephole, reaching for the baseball bat you keep behind a pot plant as you do.
Standing outside are two men in suits, one of whom is looming at the peephole and making stupid faces while his college rolls his eyes and attempts to hold him back. Through the door, you ask, “Who is it? What department are you with?”
“I’m Special Detective James Rhodes and this is my partner, Special Detective Tony Stark,” the unimpressed cop says, elbowing his colleague out of the way who is still trying to look through the wrong side of the peephole. Holding up a badge and gesturing for his partner to do the same, Detective Rhodes says, “We’re with the FBI, ma’am.”
“Shit,” you say, before realising you said that out loud. Your hand feels numb where you grip your baseball bat tightly, and you decide in that moment you have to be dreaming. No way has the events of the past fifteen minutes taken place.
The guy who must be Detective Stark laughs and says, “Shit is right. Let us in, ma’am, we need to ask you some questions.”
You look back at the coffee table laden with copious notes on your father and your open laptop, Chief of Police Alexander Pierce’s face staring back at you. An omen, you think, but it would be even more suspicious if you asked them to wait to clean everything up. Your heart-stopping, life-changing, maybe-discovery will have to wait.
You slide off the chain and unlock your deadbolt, opening the door for the two FBI agents. They walk in without another word, and it really hits you then. It doesn’t matter what Bucky does now, if he leaves you and never comes back or if he never left at all - you’re in this, now. And now you’ll pay the price.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader fic#bucky x reader fic#bucky barnes fic#bucky fic#reader insert fic#pov fic#biker!bucky#biker!bucky au#biker au#avengers fic#marvel fic#bucky barnes#natasha romanoff#11 hours#heheheheeeee
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Alright ladies!!! After a full 65 hours of the album being out I am Finally sharing my Thots 👀
I have three full 8 hour shifts of listening to Nothing Else under my belt, (plus an unspecified number of hours listening outside if work...) so I'm Basically an Expert 😌💗
Dear my universe: We love a space/space-adjacent themed Astro song in this house 😌😌😌 this is such a nice choice to start off the album (also I'm a fucking nerd and so the way that the First Song on The Album is called 'Dear my universe' like addressing a letter? Like as if the album itself is kind of like a love letter from Astro to Aroha?? 🥺 Okay I'll stop. But it's just a thot that came into my head and now I'm having Feelings 🤧💜) the echoey parts and the harmonies?? So yummy, so pretty, I love it 💗
Butterfly Effect: HELLO my Love 😍💓💌💝💜💞💖💘💕💗 I was Warned by @entry-777 to be prepared for Rocky Vocals, which is a Good Thing bc if I wasn't ready for it I probably would have started crying or somethin lame like that and looked Quite Foolish in front of my coworkers, however I was NOT warned about JINWOO VOCALS (Danny you slipped Queen!!! 😭) It was like. 6 seconds. But it was there and it's gonna live in my head rent free for the next full calendar year, also Moonbin and Eunwoo's falsettos??? GOD everyone sounds so great in this song. I love our Six Vocalists 😪💜
ONE: my ONE opinions have Grown and Matured over the course of listening to it quite literally like 75 times. Do not be mistaken, I never disliked it, but I did have Certain Opinions. For example, it is a Certified Fact that I have stated before: an Astro Title Track is not an Astro Title Track without MJ throwing up Angel High Notes above the last chorus. And when I listened to ONE for the first time I was not satisfied in that department. He did like, A Few, but I was waiting for more to come and like picturing in my head what it was going to sound like and then they didn't come and I was Mildly Disappointed. So that was just one thing that like, I wanted a little more than what I got, which does not mean that I didn't like what I did get!!! Anyway, after listening to it Many More Times and paying close attention to harmonies and such I am a bit more satified with the ad-libs he did get, it's just that this song is Different than other Astros Title Tracks, it is a different style so I guess what they gave him fits more with that style than what I was expecting (still wish he had gotten to shine a little more in this Title but what are you going to do?) It could very well be the 'you listened to this song so much you are tricking yourself into liking it more' thing, but my love for this song has definitely grown in the past few days (and again!! I never disliked it in the first place!) it is still not one of my top faves on the album but that's only bc Astro are B-side Kings! I still do really like this song
Someone Else: (okay at first I Did Not Realize this was just an MJJinjinMoonbin song?? I did not Know we were getting unit songs in this album, but that explains why I didn't hear anyone else's voices in it 🤷 agdjahdjakd) in any case, I like her! She is very Fun and Funky 😌 definitely one I will continue to listen to often (also fun fact: that electronic sound at like 2:32 the first time I heard it my body physically reacted like one of Pavlov's dogs bc that same sound is also in the song that I have set as my alarm ahdjskahdjsj 'oh? we are Waking Up now? :)' Queen calm down, you are awake lmao)
SNS: Ma'am..... Hello????? Omg I love this song so much, the beat, the vocals, the soda can (yes I noticed!!! Omg when I tell y'all I got a rush of serotonin when I heard that...) another thing I absolutely adore about this song is the 'ah-ahhh, ah-ahhh' part bc it makes my brain do the same thing as when it sees an optical illusion where the thing I'm seeing switches back and forth based on what I'm focusing on like 'oh, now I see a vase, oh now it's two faces' that except with sound (so an aural illusion I guess is what that would be??) Like 'oh, that's Human Voices making that sound' but then if I focus on it it sounds like an Electronic Phone Buzzing Text Notification Sound (and then I focus on it again and it's Voices) which is probably what was intended considering it's a song named after texting? I just think that's so cool, I love that they did that and it sounds really Neat
All Good: oh my GOD this song, oh 👏 my 👏 G 👏 O 👏 D 👏 All Good........... my BELOVED™ 💜💜💜 Mental Illness?? Idek her. Lee Dongmin said "Gonna be alright" so Everything is Fine now actually. I'm gonna Do Drugs (this song) and forget my problems 😌 this song qualifies as a Hardcore Party Drug. I am going to grind this song up into a fine powder and snort it like cocaine. Holy FUCK this song is good. I'm saying something controversial (it's not controversial, lmao, I know I am not the only one who thinks this) yet brave: Miss All Good is Title Track Material 👀 now idek anything about marketing so maybe ONE was a better choice for Title Track from a marketing standpoint idek, all I know is that All Good FUCKS I literally could talk about this song for hours omg, I need to stop this post is already so long but ALL GOOD I LOVE YOU QUEEN 👑 😭💓💘💗💕💜💌💝💞💖
All Stars: "yeah let's go haha" alright yes, whatever you say 😍 okay so in this song ofc I immediately noticed the "you're my one&only" we love that self reference 😌💜 but when I was looking at the lyrics I also noticed that we have "When you call me I'll run to you" and the Very First Line is "I've got a dream, when I run breathlessly" coincidence??? 👀 ....... yeah probably, I analyze things way too much agjdjdjdjd but ANYWAY I Love MJ's bridge(? is that the right word? the '이룰 테니까' part. U know what I mean) and the "everything is OK (lala la la)"??? Alright, Depression Cured, thanks Kings 😌👑💗
Our spring: if ONE left my thirst of Angelic MJ Runs not fully satisfied Miss Our Spring came through for me I LOVE ALL HIS PARTS IN THIS SONG SO MUCH AND THE R U N S yes 👏 king 👏 yes 👏 king 👏 thank you SO much 😌💖💜💗 Idk why but I just really latched on to this song, I love the chorus and Rocky's (설레는 날에) part, also I believe if I am Not Mistaken Rocky contributed to the lyrics on this? 👀 we love that for him! Especially bc the lyrics are so pretty and not just bc I am biased 💜
Stardust: another Space themed song it's my favorite concept again 😌😌😌 and y'all know that I am a Strings Appreciating Bitch 💗 so ofc I immediately had Feelings as soon as I heard them in the back. This song is so so so pretty?? the instrumental, the vocals, the lyrics? It's so calming and peaceful listening to this song, it feels so nice and cozy 😔💗 On all levels except physical I am laying on the roof stargazing and Astro is wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and giving me a lil kiss on the top of the head. This song would really be the Bloom of the album, if not for.....
gemini: the BLOOM of the album 😭💓💌💝💘💗💕💜💞💖 Miss gemini my beloved... 😔💜 "will you protect me? Even after the long night passes the place we embroidered together stays in our hearts" Don't TOUCH me 🤧🤧🤧 I can, have, must, am, and will cry about this song if I think about it for too long. Myungjun contributed to the lyrics, arrangement, and composition and it turned out so good?? (I mean of course it did) I'm very proud of him and I got more pretty Angel High notes in this song so I am Very Satisfied, I LOVE her so much 💗💗💗
And that's that!!!
If you are reading this, ps I love u for sticking around to read all my rambling pls accept a hypothetical forehead kiss or some fingerhearts sent @ u from a respectful distance 💗
Also my askbox is always open if you want to share your opinions, I love talking about these boys..... 👀
#this took so long to write but here it finally is#the K-otic Thots from your friendly neighborhood Kaptain K 😌💗#astro#all yours#astro one#astro all yours#aroha#kpop#kjersten talks too much#kjersten overshares
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Thoughts About Renegades Pt.2
I’m about to kick myself out of this fandom: A sequel afgshjavsbn
I’m sorry :’) These are, again, some thoughts I decided to write down in case somebody else feels the same way.
This is the link for the first part: https://dawniebb.tumblr.com/post/614167998575624192/thoughts-about-renegades
-Listen. I always fall in love with the shittiest characters possible (Looking at you, freaking Heather Duke afvsghavs) so Genissa had it *all* on her side. And yet, she was too much even for me :). Still, I had hope. I was open for possibilities for like... three chapters or so bc she's *that* annoying :) Again: This is coming from someone who likes entitled bitches full of themselves like her. When I finally gave up, I just wanted her to die but a part of me knew that wouldn't happen bc Pearl is The Lunar Chronicles' Genissa and she's still around (living her best life. Hella rich). Then she showed up at Supernova and I knew it would be a shitshow. I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED, Y'ALL. SHE REALLY PLAYED THE CLOWN...But still, even if this hurts me more than you'll even know: For like a whole page, she was right. She had solid, strong arguments, bc she just said out loud what Nova was trying to say back in Archenemies when nobody would let her finish her fucking sentences. So, yeah, when Genissa said everything Nova was trying to say at the Council's face, she was absolutely fucking right and every single one of the Council members were acting like tyrant brats, so they had it coming lol
-Still, I don't think this means Genissa suddenly turned into a likable character, nor a redeemable one whatsoever. Fine. She was right for a while bc she said everything Nova was trying to say, but she didn't do it bc she was concerned about the situation. She didn't really care about what could happen to other prodigies. She didn't care about what could happen to the Renegades themselves or the Council. She only cared that it happened to her. She's the type of person with the "You won't understand it until it happens to you" type of mentality, and that's not exactly a positive personality trait. She had this "You have to do something bECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO ME.ME.ME I'M IMPORTANT" vibe. If it had happened to Callum, for example, she wouldn't have given a shit :v. But it was her, so something had to be done. She didn't learn anything from it, just the fact that she's not untouchable and anyone can be harmed by the Council's horrible decisions, even her. Hence, she didn't earn a redemption arc and, in my opinion, she did not have one :v. Her giving Adrian the Agent N doesn't mean anything either. Nova went too hard on her with her power and she was probably feeling drugged or dizzy.
-Which, at least for me, is kinda a let down because redemption for characters like her can be possible even if they've done shitty things in the past. Theseus Cassio Lowood from Anna Dressed in Blood (I'm begging you again to read Anna Dressed in Blood) was more of an entitled bitch than the actual entitled bitch of the duology (Carmel Jones) and by the end of the book we see a HUGE character growth on him.
-I want the best for Team Sketch afgbsja but if I were Danna I would hate Nova, so I guess for a while she will...and she won't be quiet about it. I'm talking about rolling her eyes up to Heaven every time Nova opens her mouth, making excuses to avoid hanging out with them if Nova is coming too. Shady stuff like that. From my experience in my first year of college, I even dare to say Danna will feel hurt when they mention anything positive about Nova (She'll feel like they're choosing Nova over her even though she's been here longer). And it's not like they'll hate each other forever and Danna will be *this* expressive about it forever, but they'll surely have to work on fixing their relationship. You can't just expect the person you locked in a mason jar to be nice to you :) that's not how we roll :)
-HOWEVER, even if I'm taking Danna's side here bc if I were her I would hate Nova too, I must admit I believe Nova lowkey has her own reasons to at least mildly dislike Danna. I mean, Danna is nicer than many people in the trilogy, but she's not the nicest person that has ever stepped on Earth (do you remember I mentioned I LOVE this type of characters?). She comes off as defensive and judgemental at times. I know she was right. I know she was smart enough to be the only one who wasn't fooled by Nova (we gay people are geniuses,y'all) but...let's picture a scenario in which she wasn't right. A scenario in which Nova happened to be just a normal girl with very strong opinions about everything. Not an Anarchist. Not Nightmare. Just a fella who enjoys being salty and fighting over politics lmao. And then there's this pal making this comments like "that's so anarchist omg pls don't you must be nightmare" and THEN she follows her all the way to her house and she's like ????? ....I mean, Danna, sweetie. I love you but pls relax, you'll hurt yourself one of these days.
-Have you ever written your opinions about Renegades and realized that everyone is so freaking morally grey??? to the point where NO ONE IS RIGHT? BUT SOMEHOW THEY'RE NOT WRONG EITHER?
-This is more a headcanon than it is an opinion: NARCISSA LIKES TO HATE-READ TRASHY YA. She doesn't even get mad at the awful plots, like, they ENTERTAIN HER. She likes to make fun and mentally roast the writer's horrible choices.
-We're going to talk about Ruby now :) brace yourselves:
-A period is blood along with other substances. However, unless she was some kind of disease, it's not a wound. It shouldn't be, at least :') So, unless I'm proven wrong, it's not her period I'm worried about at the moment, since it's mentioned the blood that crystallizes it's the one that comes out of her wounds. What I'm worried about it's pregnancy afsghavsb
First of all, I think it would be IMPOSSIBLE to her to give birth naturally, as childbirth is way more dangerous. Sometimes the deliver stage can rip up a woman's walls, which happens to be a wound. And what happens when Ruby has a bleeding wound? Her blood crystallizes. So, if the baby's head, neck, or any other part of their body is already down there, she might as well stab them to death or at least badly hurt them.
Then, a C section. A C section is basically doctors cutting layers and layers of skin until they get to the uterus. That's a profesionally done wound lmao. And unless they have some way to stop Ruby's powers from acting up, it would be impossible to get to the baby and THEN getting them out without, again, them getting stabbed to death.
-So, in conclusion, I think Oscar and Ruby would just adopt children :')
#renegades trilogy#marissa meyer#dawnie complains about stuff lmao#these are mostly about danna nova and ruby#also i talk about genissa for two huge paragraphs#renegades#archenemies#supernova#danna bell#genissa clark#nova artino#ruby tucker
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uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?
• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.
• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)
• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.
• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧
• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session
• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻
• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;
“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”
or
“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”
• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.
• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst
• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗
• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver
• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃♀️💨
• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈
• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.
• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.
• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????
• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅
• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long
• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.
• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.
• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;
In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez
• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.
• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤
• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻
• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔
• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.
• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫
• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏
• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.
• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.
• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.
• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.
• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻
• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻♂️🏌️♀️
• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.
• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧
• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.
• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻♀️
• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.
• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨
I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂���
OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH
🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p
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1128
[created by: pinkchocolate]
When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Wednesday when Bea had food delivered to my house. One of our clients was hosting a roundtable session and our task was to order food to be delivered to the attendees’ house, and it turns out she snuck in an order for me as well.
It was super touching and I tried to do a nice deed yesterday by getting food for her as well; but as I mentioned on my previous survey, I got paired with a scammer delivery guy instead who ended up stealing my order...that I already paid for... :( It was such a flop and I ended up having to give away the surprise to Bea since I had to check if she received it, and that’s when I learned she never got anything. I’ll try again next week or whenever I get my money refunded, hahaha.
What color was the last fruit or vegetable that you ate? Green (green onion).
Is there a compliment you've received, that sticks in your mind? I like it whenever I’m told I write well, since that’s my main talent and it’s always nice to be complimented on my skills.
The last time you received a gift, what did the wrapping paper look like? I have no idea but probably red/green and holiday-themed since it most likely had been a Christmas gift.
What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Not reading anything.
If so, what did you specifically like about it?
Anyone you haven't talked to in a while, that you'd like to hear from? Not really. It’d be cool to hang out with Sofie again because I haven’t seen her since our little trip to Nasugbu, but I’m not necessarily waiting on a message from them.
When you were a kid, did you own any accessories with your name on? Probably a bracelet.
Do you own any items of clothing that you haven't yet worn? Yup. I got a yellow romper from one of my aunts for Christmas, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. It’s short and airy, so I’ll probably pull it out once the climate gets warmer again.
Were you awake before 8am today? Yeah, I got up at 4:30 earlier even though I fell asleep at like midnight. I think my body understands that my brain wants me to get as little sleep as possible during weekends so I can maximize my free time, so it woke me up by then.
Is there any food in your house at the moment, that you're looking forward to eating? I still have some of the chicken wings that Bea ordered for me. She got such a huge order and it’s taking me forever to finish the damn box of wings lol.
Is there anyone you know who dislikes the Internet, technology etc.? My grandma refuses to learn how to use a phone or laptop. Which confuses me because usually she’ll ask my mom to relay a message to one of her friends who are on Facebook, and my mom ends up playing messenger. Like pls just get at least a Facebook account if you want to keep keeping in touch with your acquaintances anyway :(((
Name any item in your bedroom that is blue. Trying to remember what’s in my room since I’m currently staying in the living room...and I think I have push pins that are blue.
Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Rocky road and Double Dutch. Marshmallows and/or nuts in my ice cream is a big nope.
Are there any cat cafes in your hometown? There could be but I’ve heard little of them. I’m more aware of existing dog cafes.
Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? I doubt it.
Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? It’s possible, but again I’m not in my room to check if that’s the case.
Do you know anyone named Abigail? Yes, my mom.
Do you ever use flavored lip balms? I don’t use lip balms at all.
^ If you do, what flavors do you like the most? Kate once had a peanut butter lip scrub that I loooooved to borrow. Other than that, the strawberry ones are nice too.
Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? My great-aunt once had a spaniel. Not sure about Irish setters.
What are your plans for the remainder of today? I wanna eat at La Creperie and spoil myself a litle bit, but we’ll see if I’ll have the energy to drive to the mall today. I’ll also have some work to do since we have a presentation on Monday :(
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[created by: pinkchocolate]
Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, ideally that would’ve been the case but they thought differently. I admittedly still feel the same, but I’ve also since been able to move on and move forward. If that makes sense.
Who was your closest friend when you were 7 years old? Do you still speak to that person? I actually met Angela when we were 7. And yes, we’re still the best of friends. I just shot a birthday greeting video for her mom last night.
Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? Technically it was Cooper, but the last male person had been my dad. He does but for the most part he keeps it to a stubble.
How many times does the letter 'R' occur in your full name? Twice; in my first name and in my surname.
Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with 'S'? Sure, I can think of a couple of relatives whose names start with S.
What color is your TV remote? I haven’t used a remote in ages lmao, but if I remember correctly ours is mainly black.
When was the last time you went to a wedding? Who got married? 2007. My uncle and his then-girlfriend, who of course became my aunt when they wed. We’ve since had relatives who got married after that period, but for all those occasions only my parents received an invitation. It’s understandable though, I know they want to save up on costs and stuff.
Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. One Direction is the only group coming to mind.
Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? My 7th birthday gown was inspired by Cinderella’s, but it wasn’t the same exact dress as it was orange.
Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. I’ve never been able to understand the rules.
If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Mr. Goodbar has always been the least exciting chocolate to get hahaha.
Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Angela.
Do you own anything that has an image of a butterfly on it? Again, I could. I can’t think of any particular item, though.
Has anyone told you recently that they miss you? Yes, orgmates for the most part.
What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? HYD by Hayley Williams.
What color are the socks you're currently wearing? I’m not wearing any socks right now. < Me neither.
How many friends do you have whose name starts with the letter 'R'? Just Rita.
How many vowels are there in your first name? One. Two if you count y.
When was the last time you took a selfie? Last Saturday, I think.
Name someone you know who has curly hair. Andi.
Have you ever worn orange eye-shadow? Never tried.
Name a song that reminds you of someone close to you. Be Alright by Dean Lewis.
Has anyone ever walked out of your life with no explanation? Yeah but they tried very poorly to keep in touch. It ended up being detrimental to me more than anything else so I took the initiative to be one step ahead and cut ties altogether.
Do you know anyone else with the same first name as you? I can think of one Robyn and one Robin.
Think back to 10 years ago. What TV show(s) were you into? Wrestling programs were all I watched as a 13 year old.
Do you have a favorite T-shirt? What color is it? Yes, one of my wrestling shirts. It’s predominantly white but it has some black and red on it as well.
As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Yessssssss. I spent more time sniffing them than writing with them too, lol.
Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. I find whiskey pretty nasty. I hate beer as well but sometimes I gotta drink it, especially when socializing.
Do you own anything that previously belonged to someone else? I wouldn’t say I own them; they do belong to the original owner and I’m just still borrowing them.
Who is the 8th contact in your phone? How did you meet them? That would be Angela haha; we met when we got assigned to be seatmates in 1st grade since our surnames were arranged alphabetically in class.
Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? No.
Can you recall the last time you were on a dance floor? March 2020, at a club with mostly Hans’s friends.
Have you ever let someone go, and then regretted it? No.
Do you own any color changing mood jewelry? Nope and I don’t believe in those either so I don’t see a reason why I should get my own.
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[created by: pinkchocolate]
Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn't? It’s only 7:06 AM so I’ll refer to my plans yesterday instead – I wanted to continue working on a Google Slides presentation by nighttime, but I was so tired from my shift yesterday and even got a migraine that I never got around to it. I’ll have to work on it this weekend instead.
Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? I mean, hasn’t this been the case over the last year with the pandemic? I communicate mainly through social media now, if not through IM apps like Viber.
What color box does your favorite cereal come in? Don’t really like cereal. The closest thing I have to a ‘favorite,’ Cookie Crisps, comes in a white box, though.
Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Nah, don’t really like printed stuff. Angela had a customized Friends-themed mug made for me but I wouldn’t call it an ~illustration, since the main design is just my name styled in the Friends logo.
Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? I actually took a break from this survey to take Cooper for a walk, and I think I can confirm that I definitely have some kind of allergy to grass. My legs were super irritated the whole time and my skin has since turned reddish.
What is your favorite snack to eat with a hot beverage? Croissants.
Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? “Let your healing take time,” from Andi. He also accompanied it the advice with an anecdote about this basketball player who insisted on playing even while he was still dealing with an injury, and playing only aggravated that injury so he was forced to sit out for an even longer time than what was initially set for him. That was really helpful and I keep it close to me to this day.
What's the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Know when it’s enough and when to leave, and be kind to yourself.
Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah, I have like three thick ones. I just haven’t gotten the chance to touch them because for the meantime I only have cheap coloring pencils that start to get dull after a few strokes. I’ve yet to buy a more premium set of pencils.
When was the last time you got some new headphones? Headphones would be 2013 when my dad got me a pair of Beats. Not a big user so I haven’t felt the need to get new ones.
Is there a lamp in your living room? What color is its shade? No but my mom has wanting to get one for a while. She just can’t seem to find one that she likes.
Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I went to high school with a Xenia. Super nice guy; we were close friends for a while since we were seatmates, and our friend groups also overlapped.
Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? Not yet. I will definitely be eating rice though, because Philippines.
Name a food that you dislike the texture of. I don’t like rice pudding at all, or oatmeal. But those are also taste issues as well as texture issues. < Oooh, oatmeal is a good one. I also could never enjoy marshmallows in my ice cream.
Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Angela.
Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? I wouldn’t say that. There will still always be a part of me that has some sort of feelings for my exes. But the extent to which I love them/care about them fades over time, thankfully. < Yeah, exactly.
^ If so, why do you think that happened?
If you have pets, do you talk to them? Sure.
Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? I tried to get into Grey’s Anatomy or Glee on Netflix, because they were “popular”, but I tried a few episodes, and just couldn’t seem to get into them. < OMG same again, especially with Grey’s??? I tried watching it a couple of weeks ago but I noped out as soon as I heard how poppish the theme song was. I’ve always thought it was a serious drama show but it turned out to have so many teen show elements to it that I was definitely taken aback. The script and some of the acting also kind of sucked, so that was a letdown.
Is there anything you haven't done lately, that you'd like to do soon? Coloring.
Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yes, my dad got me a Vegemite shirt from his last contract abroad hahah. He was staying in Australia and I asked him to get a jar of Vegemite so I can finally have a taste, but I think he was scared that I’d hate it and end up throwing out the whole jar so he just got me a shirt instead lol. I’ve also got a Nike shirt somewhere in my closet.
Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Surprisingly not. I’ve been longing to eat at La Creperie again but I’m not craving for anything particular.
Have you watched or read the news today? I watch the news every weeknight since we have it on during dinner.
Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. Can’t see any books near me.
Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? There’s a McDonald’s literally beside our village, and beside it are a Shakey’s and a Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s also a Burger King right across. If you drive for like five more seconds, there’ll also be a Starbucks.
^ If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Only from Starbucks. I don’t really get fast food anymore.
Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to? Nothing yet so far.
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Blackpink: The Album Review
Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.
First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.
BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.
Ok, before anything:
1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.
a) The Cover:
There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.
b) Writing credits and Track List:
This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.
I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.
1. How You Like That
I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.
6.5/10
2. Ice Cream
Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be.
6.12/10
3. Pretty Savage
I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.
8.82/10
4. Bet You Wanna
Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.
8.37/10
5. Lovesick Girls
WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.
10/10
6. Crazy Over You
Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.
8.5/10
7. Love To Hate Me
This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.
9.4/10
8. You Never Know.
Great song I left with depression.
I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.
9.62/10
c) Pre-Release single Choices:
I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez.
Now, on a more personal note.
You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong).
Now back to the story telling
Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg).
Wow, that was long. At essence, it was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.
Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single.
Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.
Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.
d) My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:
I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.
Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.
But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.
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angstier meme for made in the shade babes, pls !!
ur wish is my command loml
made in the shade babes
• who is more likely to get injured doing small tasks?
v&l: i feel like ren would be?? bc homeboy is just constantly distracted and in his own thoughts that whoops next thing he knows, hes accidentally stabbed himself with a pen or smth. oR val distracts him and he cant focus and bam hes just stabbed himself. whoops.
e&d: literally eLLiE IS SO PRONE TO INJURY I STG. like, she’s the most graceful lil woman on screen but when it comes to her day to day life, bitch trips over her own two feet constantly, and she's always got a constellation of bruises on her body, or band-aids because she's just so !!! mindless!!
• who worries more about the other?
v&l: definitely ren. he’s already lost one love of his life, he doesn’t wanna lose the other. and homeboy knows that being a detective comes with a tendency to make a lot of enemies. he knows there’s loads of people after him, and if something were to ever happen to val, he would never forgive himself.
e&d: definitely correct me if im wrong, but I feel like donovan is the worrier in the relationship. like, ellie’s pretty naive for her age, and she hasn't ever really had hardships, other than the internal ones. she’s never been in danger before. he has. and on top of that, she doesn't take care of herself, which is something he knows. so its just double the worry.
• who is more afraid about the other leaving them?
v&l: reN REN REN REN LITERALLY HIS WIFE WAS MURDERED HES SO WORRIED VAL WILL LEAVE HIM !!!! like he honestly doesn’t feel worthy enough to be around a woman like her, and he especially doesn’t feel worthy enough to get a second chance at love like this. sometimes he thinks its too good to be true, honestly. and there are definitely times where he thinks that val is still with him out of pity.
e&d: this actually took me a long time to think about?? but in the end, I feel like el would be. she's so insecure about everything about herself, so she’d constantly feel like she’s never good enough for don, and would worry that he would leave her for someone prettier, skinnier, just all around better. ://
• who is more likely to leave ( for any reason )
v&l: okay liSTEN. there’s a part of me that feels like val would, because ren is so stuck in the past, missing his wife and constantly scared that hes technically cheating on her with val. BUT that could also be the reason why HE would leave. that, and he doesn't wanna bother val. iTS LITERALLY JUST !!!!! IT COULD GO EITHER WAY MAN
e&d: I honestly feel like don would leave in order to protect ellie from his whole past kinda thing?? especially when this killer is out and about, he’d definitely try to leave her in order to protect her from that, too.
• who is more likely to drunkenly confess?
v&l: ok but ??? both of them ??? they literally both drink heavily??? but I can see val doing that more than ren. just like, him taking her home after a night of drinking and her just telling him that while she's hanging onto him and stumbling around in her dress and heels iM DEAD
e&d: again, I feel like that would be more of a don thing to do. I don't even think ellie’s 21 yet?? I have to check but like !! I definitely feel like he’d confess this way after like a rough day on set or something?? and she's just over it all and wants to go home n shit and AGH
• who is more likely to push the other away ( for any reason )
v&l: ren, once again. my avoidant little shit of a son. he doesn’t want val getting all wrapped up in his line of work. in his bullshit. in his emotions. past. you name it, he honestly just wouldn’t wanna waste her time with any of it.
e&d: I feel like don would?? hes the colder one of the two, and I feel like he’d think that she could do so much better?? iDK I JUST GET THE FEELING IrjNZKF
• who picks fights more often?
v&l: i genuinely am not sure of this one. I think ren would honestly be too busy trying to keep val around to pick any sort of fight with her? again, correct me if im wrong, but I feel like val would? like, if he’s working late at the office, not giving her as much attention bc hes getting wrapped up in a case, she’d definitely be a lil petty abt it yknow
e&d: okay as much as I don't wanna say this, I think ellie would. especially on her days where she's feeling more irritable bc of her anxiety n shit. like, she’d just take out all of her insecurities on don and would realize it once they're neck deep and would just ://
• who usually apologizes first?
v&l: oof, this one’s hard. ren isn’t secure enough in his masculinity for him to be able to apologize first, while val is too proud to do so, too ( CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG ). I feel like it would take them awhile for one to crack, but I feel like ren would eventually break and begrudgingly apologize lmAOOOO
e&d: ellie omg, its like second nature to her. growing up with a mother who would’ve been a clinically diagnosed narcissist, she would’ve been too scared to upset anyone or have anyone not like her, so she definitely apologizes for the smallest of things, and would especially apologize a million times after a fight.
• who is more likely to withhold feelings from the other?
v&l: ren always :) need I fucking say more :)
e&d: I feel like that would be an ellie thing to do, since she wouldn't wanna bother don with it all? like she wouldn't wanna burden him with her sad lamenting about her insecurities, or anything like that.
• who is more likely to lash out at the other?
v&l: rennie. especially when he gets stressed out about work, and val picks a fight?? oof, he just wouldn’t be able to hold it together, and he would just end up losing it and probably saying something that he'd regret the second after it’s left his lips.
e&d: why do I feel like it would be el, once again? like, she wouldn’t mean it whatsoever, but I can see her losing her shit on him, especially on days where she feels like she's gained weight, and hes begging her to eat.
• who gets more jealous?
v&l: okay buT THIS ONE’S VAL’S OMG she would most DEFINITELY get jealous whenever ren is talking to other women, I stg she would intimidate those bitches to go away, even if they're literally witnesses that he’s interviewing lmAO
e&d: ok don takes this one I don't even gotta explain it u already know bitch
• who is more likely to support the other in a relationship with someone else “as long as they’re happy :)”?
v&l: ren omg, he wouldn't blame val for wanting to move on. yeah, he'd be super sad about it and pissed off, but he'd be sad and pissed off at himself for not having been able to make it work with her. and he would be absolutely positive that whoever val ends up with would be better for her, too.
e&d: donny. I can see him congratulating el for finding someone new, even though he'd be dying inside. brb while I go sob :)
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