#bo seriously where is this music

[fantomette22]

Guess who’s watching the blue blur movie for a 3rd time

Am i going to catch the « escape from the city ost » refs this? Probably not but stay tuned!

[winepresswrath]

I do gotta say tho, even tho I’m mad at aziraphale because he’s being a terrible boyfriend like what you said about the “I forgive you like” because WHAT. But also I really like the way the show really demonstrates the underlying cruelty of heaven and it’s angels. Really shows the hypocrisy of a group of beings who are supposed to do good, especially aziraphale who really buys into the heaven propaganda, who hurts people, particularly the person who means the most to him. Because like you said he fully just takes advantage of that devotion Crowley has for him. Insane, this shwo makes me INSANE

I missed this anon and yeah! The angels were one of my favourite parts of the season, and I think the strongest element aside from Neil Gaiman deciding he's just a simple man who wants to put his otp in situations. They are deeply awful and I kind of love them. They are the exact kind of moralizing hypocrites who are callous and cruel precisely because they think being on team good means everything they do is justified and it's actually impossible for them to be in the wrong (they're angels! is it even possible for them to do the wrong thing?).

but!! To me, they also seem like they're basically kids? Obviously they're not literally children, but there is this very consistent reoccurring joke about how childish/sheltered/immature they are. Muriel is the most obvious example, but the archangels come off like bratty twelve year olds to her sweet little kid.

Gabriel is basically teenager in love flipping off his family as he runs away with his backstreet guy. Uriel is constantly picking at Michael, Michael is playing at being in charge like it's a game, and it's ridiculously easy for both Aziraphale and Crowely to trick them obvious half assed lies. They're not allowed to ask questions! The Metatron treats them like badly behaved kids out past their curfew. At any point an old man with a beard may pop up to scold them and send them home, and they're all scared of doing something wrong by his standards and getting in trouble with this guy who is pointedly not God but who lines up exactly with the pop-culture idea of god the father, and who offers Aziraphale, among other things, a respite from the hard work of figuring out what the right thing to do is for himself. It's fine! You don't have to question the belief system you were born into or make a painful break with everything you've ever known! Aziraphale has had six thousand years on earth to grow up, but the other angels have been sitting in a sterile white box playing "i'm not touching you" games with each other and filing paperwork.

And I think that's extra interesting because this season also really emphasizes:

Heaven has Institutional Problems

Aziraphale isn't the only angel who's unhappy in heaven. Gabriel and Muriel were both completely miserable. They just didn't understand that they were unhappy because they'd never experienced anything else.

Angels who aren't Aziraphale can change and grow! There's very explicitly Gabriel being changed by love and Muriel growing up a bit on earth, and from a more fan-theory angle there's also Jimbriel, who I think is probably basically Gabriel minus the war and six thousand years of playing referee for Michael and Uriel while unleashing an assortment of plague and calamities on earth because that's God's will! Buck up champ.

We also get Gabriel and Beezelebub talking about how their underlings basically live for Armageddon, "if you can call that living." This is so bleak. They've all been on a six thousand year time out just dreaming of the day they get to beat the shit out of each other until they feel better, but it won't work because eternity is just more of the box.

Anyway I think it's going in a distinctly eden adjacent direction. Aziraphale is going to tempt those angels with knowledge and the capacity for change. I have veered so far from your ask anon i'm sorry you're right heaven really went all out on sucking this season & while Crowley and Aziraphale are both fucking it up Crowley refrains from being spectacularly cruel to Aziraphale about it and Aziraphale should learn to return the favour. I forgive you!! I forGIVE you. I forgive YOU. "you can be an angel again" is actually a worse thing to say than "you're a demon. i don't even like you." when he finally picks crowley over heaven i'm going to lose my mind.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

hellooo! I just had to request this I know its corny and technically it makes no sense but in a way it does. Like a story with the song Helpless from hamilton lmao. Like reader eliza luke is hamilton and maybe like clarrise is angelica not in the like romantic way just in shes the readers sister!

ℋℯ𝓁𝓅𝓁ℯ𝓈𝓈

How’d you know I love Hamilton, anon? LUKE AND HAMILTON? I love it.

Warnings: not too sure on Clarisse’s age but i think she was around a year older than Percy?? In tlt she would have been 13/14, but my timeline is most definitely off so…

i. “Boy, you got me helpless. Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit.”

The second his eyes met yours, you felt your heart race against your chest. You swallowed the lump in your throat as he sent a small smirk to you, before going back to talking to his friends.

You looked down at the floor now, you’d only been admiring him and for some reason, felt attracted to him more than you had anyone.

ii. “I'm helpless. Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em.”

When you first started dating, you always told him how much you loved his eyes. They were beautiful.

You got lost in them often, when sparring and even when you both taught some campers together. The younger campers teased and gossiped about you both while you rolled your eyes at them, telling them to shut it.

No one has ever seen an Ares kid be as soft as you are with Luke. Even Dionysus is confused at it.

iii. I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight. We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night.Laughin' at my sister as she's dazzling the room. Then you walked in, and my heart went "boom"

Clarisse was talking and you turned your attention back to her, laughing at something she said.

As you leaned against the wall, a boy had caught your eye. He had brown curly hair, he looked to be the same age. He was holding a cup of something and looked at the others partying. He had a scar that ran down his cheek.

He was undeniably attractive.

You met Luke at a party. His first party he’s gone to, your sister stood next to you. She was younger than you, 11, She was brave, not afraid of anything really. And despite only knowing her for a year, you loved her.

Granted, you were 15 at the time, but you couldn’t leave her in the cabin alone, especially after she begged to come. You stared at the boy from afar, the more you looked the more interesting he got. He was talking with some friends.

She began to talk about something before realizing you weren’t listening. Her eyes went over to where you were looking, and they landed on the Hermes boy.

She quirked an eyebrow at you, a small smirk on her face. “Do you like h-“

You quickly snapped out of it, putting a hand over her mouth.

“Shhhh. Clarisse!”

“What?”

“Do you know him?” You asked her.

“It’s Luke, he’s a counselor. Annoying as sh-“

“Language.”

“He’s annoying as shit. Good swordsman but annoying.”

“How have I never realized him?” You muttered to yourself.

“Probably because there’s a million Hermes kids. Kinda hard to keep track. Plus, since you train with the…” she paused to do her best impression, which was just a high pitched squeal. “Aphrodite kids, you don’t see them much.”

“Huh.” You murmured.

“Are you gonna stand there gawking all day or are you gonna actually go up to him?” she asked you. You sighed, looking over to him again. You thought for a moment before shaking your head.

iiii. Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom. Everybody's dancin' and the band's top volume. Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine

“Oh, seriously, you’re not gonna live a little?” One of your friends asked, coming up to you.

“I’m good.” You shook your head.

“You’re coming.” She told you, and before you could even protest, she dragged your hand and dragged you to the dance floor. You sighed, shaking your head as you slowly began to move to the music, your friends wildly and loudly cheering you on.

A smile on your face, you glanced back at the boy in the corner, your smile faltered.

V. My sister made her way across the room to you. And I got nervous, thinking, "What's she gonna do" She grabs you by the arm, I'm thinking "I'm through.”

It was then that you noticed Clarisse go over to him, tired of your gawking and ogling, even on the dance floor.

Vi. Then you look back at me, and suddenly I'm helpless. Oh, look at those eyes, oh, look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit. I'm helpless, I know down for the count and I'm drowning in 'em.

Your eyes widened, and you pushed yourself out of the crowd, watching her grab his arm and point over to you. His eyes snapped from her small form to you, a soft smile making its way onto his face.

Your eyes looked into his from across the room, both of you seemingly lost in them as Clarisse slipped away from Luke and made her way back to you. But you didn’t even notice.

You knew at that moment, that you loved that boy with all your heart. You didn’t believe in true love at first sight until you felt it.

[equallyshaw]

𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓲𝓷 𝓻𝓮𝓭 | 𝓶𝓪𝓽 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝔃𝓪𝓵 𝓪𝓾 ↠ love at first sight! ↠ au masterlist!

↠ warnings: none? ↠ word count: 2.3K +

when sydney told olivia that they'd be hosting the team's new years party that year, olivia was not too thrilled. she was looking rather forward to spending the night out on the town, but once sydney demanded her sister's presence that evening; she'd be getting it come hell or highwater. it was around 7 pm when she heard music beginning to play, throughout the house and sighed. she had just finished her makeup and hair for the evening, and quickly sent a few texts out to her best friends naomi and nastia, who were in california and chicago that evening. sydney propped open her door just a bit, "can you watch the girls for a few minutes?" and with that olivia turned around with a huge grin on her face with her hands open wide for her two nieces for them to run towards her. she picked both of them up and pretended to eat them, causing them to shriek loudly bringing a smile to sydney's face.

⋆｡ °✩

it was two hours later, and after many many rounds of playing barbies with the two girls- she was relieved by another wag for a bit to grab a drink. she sighed loudly and playfully, once she reached the kitchen counter where matt and sydney were talking with another player. "god! they are so mini you's." she teased while opening up a seltzer, to which matt laughed loudly. "they are a mini syd." he joked, causing sydney to slap his arm playfully. "you are off babysitting duty for the night, i promise." sydney mused passing a small plate snacks,f from the charcuterie board. "good. i could use the night off every once in awhile." she joked, causing the two parents to laugh and tease her relentlessly. "oh! you need a night off?" both sydney and matt joked, causing her to giggle. "why yes!" she hummed, before taking her plate and drink towards the living room. she quickly made her way over towards grace - anders lee's wife and holly, bo horvat's wife. "hey!" grace beemed, pulling the red head into a small hug. "hi holls!" grace said hugging holly as well, "what have i missed?" she grinned sipping some of her drink. "oh lets fill you in!" grace joked, and the three went into catching up mode.

this was the first time in a few years that olivia had made it home for the holidays, her father and mother had been visiting her for the past four plus years while she had been at school in los angeles. she hadn't come back for much of her breaks, besides the off-season, because she was a sucker for new england summers.

she was engrossed in a long conversation when mat had shown up at the party. he greeted some teammates, and their partners before he saw the infamous red head that was never to be found. since matt had been traded from toronto, he had yet to see olivia in the flesh.

oh, how he could not bare to look away.

⋆｡ °✩

it was around 11 when mat had finally worked up the courage to say hi and introduce himself. the two found themselves in the kitchen grabbing some refreshment replacements, and snacking on some more appetizers. "you're olivia right?" mat asked as the two hadn't said anything to each other for a few minutes. she looked up from her phone, and nodded. "yes. and you are?" she questioned looking at mat. she had never seen him before, and she could see the somewhat arrogance oozing off of him. he looked at her, taking in her blue eyes. god, mat knew he was officially gone - even if she hadn't spoken more than a few words to him.

"im mat." he said not moving from where he stood, a few feet away from her. she nodded giving him a small nod, "nice to meet you mat." she said respectfully. he nodded, continuing to look at her as he sipped his amber looking drink. "this is the first time I've see you before, what got you over to the east coast?" he said somewhat teasing, somewhat seriously. she sipped her drink before responding, "well, I've been in los angeles at ucla for the past four years. i graduated in 2022, but haven't had a chance to come back since the summertime. which meant you weren't here." she mirroring his tone. he tsked his tongue, "such a shame. I've heard a lot about you, and how fun you are." he said grinning. "oh really? i am just enough fun, thankyou." she hummed, "a respectable amount." she teased cocking her head to the side just a bit. "interesting. but seriously, syd and matt always said that you're welcome but that you never take up their offer?" he questioned, sipping more of his drink.

the fucking nerve of this dude, she thought.

"well, thats not really your business is it?" she questioned slyly. he chuckled as she sighed, knowing he was not giving up. "since my parents moved to california full time, i really don't have a huge reason to come back here. besides, long island is their home. not mine." she said truthfully, "besides, its not like i can leave los angeles whenever i feel like it. i have work there, that i have to tend to." she said shifting her feet. "oh really? what kind of work, anything interesting?" he questioned, actually interested. she nodded, "i have a boutique jewelry shop that i run with my mom. im actually here on business, we are interested in opening up another shop in the hamptons actually." she said feeling the shift in the conversation. the tense conversation turning to genuine. "oh really? that's actually really cool." he said and she nodded, "yep." she said a bit too short, than she had anticipated. "whats it called, like the name?" he questioned. she smiled, "it's called greenwich jewels." she said. "i think that's the first smile you've had since this conversation started." she rolled her eyes. "there you go, ruining the vibe." she said chuckling just a bit. "me?" he teased, "yes! just when i thought that you were actually being nice and interested, you go and ruin it with your demeanor and your sarcastic tone." she said shaking her head, and mat was eating this interaction all up.

when he didn't respond, and all but continued to stare at her, she scoffed. "you're unbearable, guess all the rumors i've heard have been true." she chastised, before turning to leave. "oh? you have heard of me, huh?" he questioned, trying to get her to not leave. she froze, turning towards him just a bit, "unfortunately." she grimaced before leaving the kitchen.

⋆｡ °✩

she was on facetime with kappy, around 11:50 while she was in the office on the first floor. she needed a few minutes by herself and then kappy called, and it was good timing. "yeah barzal is an animal, definitely a jerk." he said and that made olivia laughed loudly. "are you sure you didn't describe yourself?" she teased, and he flipped her off in the process. "but seriously, when are you coming to st louis red?" he questioned and she shrugged. "do i seriously have to wait until the off-season?" he questioned, and she shrugged again. "ill let you know." she said truthfully. he nodded, "but you're the CEO you make your own schedule i thought?" he said causing her to laugh loudly again. "alrighty kap, hush." she said rubbing her face softly, holding back a giggle. " ill call you in a few days?" she questioned and kappy nodded, "happy new years red." he smiled, to which she mirroed. "happy new years kappy." she hummed, before ending the facetime. she plopped her phone onto the white desk in front of her, as she stretched her body out. she was ready to go to bed, and knew she'd be taking the two little ones to bed shortly at 12; and give their parents some time without the little ones.

her head whipped to the door, as it squeked open. she rolled her eyes as she scowled. mat smirked, stepping into the room. "if you wanted privacy for our new years kiss, you should have just said so. i had to search the whole house like a sleuth." he said amused. she scoffed, turning back towards him. "what is your problem?" she demanded, as her phone began to go off. the both of them looked towards her phone that was still on the desk, and 'zeeeegrass' flashed on the screen. she gave mat a glare, as she picked up her phone. she swiped to accept, and saw the lovely dirty blonde fill her screen. "hi z." she said looking up at mat who only leaned against the door, still staring at her. "yo! when are you back home again?" he questioned and olivia tore her glare from mat to trevor. "seriously z? i've told you how many times?" she said a tad bit annoyed, "oh woah, who pissed you off?" he asked animated. she giggled, "you'd never guess." she said monotoned. trevor grinned, "let me guess, matty said some bad jokes." and that made olivia laughed. "no, but i wish it had been that." she said truthfully, "but ill be back on the 7th." she followed up. "cool cool well happy new years ginger, but i gotta go. jacks calling me." and she felt the blood drain from her face. "oh. nice. well happy new years z." she said, now desperately trying to get off the phone. "alsooooo, my new years resolution is to figure out what happened between the two of you in the hamptons, will i have that resolution granted?" he teased, and she shook her head no before hanging up. she stood up now, feeling somewhat nauseous, and wanted to desperately hide her face from the world.

"please let me go mat." she said looking at the ground, as mat had not moved from the door. she looked up at him now, and crossed her arms. "id like to leave, without making a scene." she said unenthused. he grinned, "now i gotta know...what did happen between the two of you, huh?" he teased taking his arm off the door, and took a step closer towards the redhead. she shook her head, "none of your business- again." she chastised. he chuckled a bit, "if you tell me, ill tell you a secret." he said enticingly but she gave him a disgusted look. "you're actually crazy, mat. wild." she said as she heard the group outside beginning to count down from 12. he stepped right in front of her, invading her space. she could feel the heat and arrogance radiating off of him, making her shiver with a chill. "mat.." she trailed off as he leaned in, pausing just before his lips would have met hers. he smirked, staring straight into her blue eyes.

she swallowed harshly, as she looked down at his lips. as soon as they heard 'one' from the other room, mat swiftly took hold of her by placing his hands on her lower back while simultaneously kissing her. her hands instinctively went to his face, to hold on to him in some way. his hand began to move down further before she realized that she had been kissing him back. she pulled back, not meeting his eye. without saying a word or looking at him, she moved past him and out of the room. as soon as she was halfway down the hallway, she placed a soft finger on her rosy lips. she cursed herself on how vulnerable she had been, and how much she liked the kiss. but she hated the guy. she quickly filtered herself into the living room seeing sydney and matt with the two girls, and olivia kneeled down to them to hug the two. "who's ready for bed?!" she said and the girls shook their heads, and jumped up and down. "i thought we said no sugar past 9:30?" she questioned looking up at sydney, and then the both of them looked at matt. he put his hands up in innocence, causing the two sisters to laugh. "you guys enjoy the rest of the evening, im gonna head up with these two." she said grabbing ahold of their hands, and the three of them headed upstairs. as she picked up the youngest one at the base of the stars, she saw mat coming back into the living room. the two froze momentarily before olivia broke eye contact, and headed upstairs.

while she headed upstairs, mat went to go say by the hostess'. "mat! happy new years, darling." sydney said pulling the younger hockey player in for a hug. she left an arm on his shoulder, as they turned towards matt. "thanks for the hospitality, but im gonna head out. a bit more tired than i had anticipated." he said and the couple nodded. "lets walk you out. but first, take some desserts!" sydney said pulling mat towards the kitchen, along with matt.

matt for the rest of the night, could not shake the red head and even acknowledged that he may have gone too far. he realized that that he might have been a jerk, at some points. though the girl would argue, it was the whole time. even as he drove towards his apartment where his ex was waiting for him, he couldn't shake the girl. he cursed himself, once he realized he wanted to see her again. even if in the capacity he did not totally want.

but he knew one thing, he was smitten.

back upstairs a little while later, as the two girls were tucked in and read to sleep; olivia headed towards her room that the two young ones had dubbed 'tie tie's room', because it was right across from theirs. she laid down on her back, looking up at the white ceiling that was straight out of the gilded age. her thoughts were running a mile a minute, she hated mat and wished she would have slapped him. slap that stupid but attractive smirk off of his face. no, she despised that arrogant and cunning canadian. she turned over on her stomach and screamed into the comforter. she needed to get back to california without seeing him, or else she might hurt his feelings.

no, she'd kill him.

hope you all enjoyed! please like and reblog if you did (:

tags: @toasttt11 @cillianthinker

[ceilingfan5]

Alphabet prompt- N with THB, and or Taako and kravitz please :3

“So there I was, in Walmart, of course,” Lucretia sighs, her head in Lup’s lap and her legs dangling off the side of the shitty couch. Barry’s cozily jammed in on Lup’s other side, the couch hardly the right shape or comfort level to accommodate all three of them, despite the fact that Taako was definitely crammed in there a moment ago. Who knows where he’s gotten off to. Kravitz tucks his legs up under him in his god-awful armchair and props his head up to listen, surprised at himself for being absorbed so easily into this friend group. He feels like an intruder, or a mimic, or some kind of fungus.

In a good way?

“And I was In the frozen aisle,”

“God forbid,” Lup says, teasingly. 

“Let me get out my story,” Lucretia says, stifling laughter. 

“And she bought fourteen Kid Cuisines, and a Teenage Mutant Neetle Teetles Pizza,” Barry adds, making her snicker. 

“Listen!” Lucretia clears her throat, trying to maintain some level of seriousness, but her usual composure just isn’t there tonight, as late as it is. It’s wild seeing this warm, vulnerable side of her. “I was in the frozen aisle in Walmart and I was trying to get something for dinner, and the man in front of me was taking his sweet time, and then this song came on the radio–don’t ask me what song, listen, don’t. I don’t remember. But-” she smiles, remembering. Kravitz feels surprisingly fond of her in this moment. 

“But it’s a bouncy song, right, something you could really jam to.” 

“Glad I’m not the only one who sounds like an old man when I use slang,” Kravitz mutters. Lup and Barry snicker. 

“And he- he’s still looking at the frozen food, but he starts bouncing his ass cheeks-”

Everybody struggles to hold back laughter. 

“And listen-” Lucretia tries to restrain herself, but she can’t stop smiling. “I’m not much of a manliker. But it was so cute. He turns around and sees me waiting and apologizes to me, and I wanted to say no, no, go on, you carry on bouncing that ass to the music, sir. He wasn’t any older than I am, and he looked so tired, and he just-” She reaches for the ceiling, grasping like a warm cat considering making biscuits for the evening. “It was sweet. Normally I document the profound and profane, but this moment was just so…alive. People, you know?”

“I dunno, I am a documented man-liker, and that’s cute as hell,” Lup muses, through laughter. “Too bad he eats frozen food. But I can fix him. TAAKO!” Lup hollers. “TAAKO, CUTE OR NOT?”

Fellow noted man-liker Taako pokes his head in from the other room. 

“WHAT,” he hollers back, even though he’s close enough now he doesn’t need to shout. It’s not a big apartment, especially with all of them squished in here like a pile of puppies. 

“Rate this rando on a scale of one to ten,” Lup demands. Lucretia covers a laugh. Kravitz’s eyes go to Barry, who looks amused but a little strained. 

“Not now,” Taako says, still a full twenty too loud. “I’m drinking shampoo to prove a point.”

“You’re-” Lup cracks up. “What now?” 

“You’ve got to listen when people talk, snorkel-brains,” Taako says, sort of affectionately. “Magnus was- MAGNUS, explain it.”

Magnus pokes his head out too, and Merle follows, not unlike a cartoon. Davenport is somewhere out of frame, probably folding his arms, but not not participating in shenanigans. 

“So listen- listen-” Magnus says, holding the shampoo in one hand and a towel in the other. “You put some on your lips and you’re supposed to be able to blow bubbles! But so far-”

“So far it feels like we’ve gotten in trouble for swears,” Merle says, nodding.

“Damn,” Lucretia says. 

“Fuck,” Barry agrees. 

“You guys saw that online, or what?” Lup shakes her head. “Stupids.” 

“It’s gonna be cool!” Magnus insists. 

“I think it’s horseshit,” Taako counters. “What’s this about boyliking.” His eyes go conspicuously to Kravitz. Is it warm in here suddenly? Maybe they should get the climate control looked at. 

“There was a guy in the grocery store bouncing his ass cheeks to the music, and Lucretia is wrapped up in how profound it was,” Barry says, not critically. 

“It was profound!” Lucretia insists. “It was nice. People should appreciate life more. I should appreciate life more. It’s short, isn’t it?”

“Debatable,” both elves say in unison. 

“Listen-” Lucretia sits up, swinging her legs back in front of her. She looks a little dizzy, but powers through. “Little moments like this are poetry.”

“Dear diary,” Taako intones, “Saw a guy bounce his ass. You might think it would be crass. But instead I want to say. I want to live another day.” 

“Amen,” Merle says sweetly.

“Don’t be dorks,” Lup defends, patting Lucretia’s back. “It’s a good little moment of being a living creature.”

“Sure,” Taako says. “And so’s this.” And he rubs shampoo on his lips, and then blows a ridiculous stream of bubbles, and everybody cheers. Lucretia’s story gets a little lost from there, because everyone has to try the shampoo thing, but it sort of sticks with Kravitz. 

Poetry. He hopes she knows he listened. 

[fea-resources]

Unhinged Game Commentary As RP Starters Pt.1

YEA BO- wait. What the fuck is this?

OH MY GOD THAT MUSIC. I'M TRIGGERED. I'M FLASHING BACK SO HARD. GOODBYE.

Don't be dramatic, you're fine.

NO I'M NOT. -SCREECHES-

Honestly I was playing _______ the other day. It was a traumatic experience for me.

Fuck that, yolo it.

No I'm not gonna yolo it.

Assless.

Speak my name when you arrive. Say my name boi.

Kinky.

Do you seriously remember that? Jesus christ that was so long ago.

Was it? I have no concept of time. I literally don't. Like none.

The bashtard. Basch. Baschtard. Vaangina.

*Gets out the hose. Pressure washes _______ with holy water*

I smell... something weird. Like hot glue.

*turns into swiss cheese*

RIP swissed ________.

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. IS BURNING? I SMELL HOT GLUE. AM I DYING RIGHT NOW?! THEY SAY YOU SMELL HOT GLUE WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A SEIZURE.

Where's the spy I wonder.

Dead raccoons smell a lot like melting brussel sprouts. Pro tip.

I-- I don't wanna know how you know that.

_______ the oversharing fuckwit. Relatable.

I genuinely forgot how to spell his name, and just don't care at this point.

Jar jar binks!!!

What the fuck was that noise?

Sell shit, be rich for about 5 seconds, then be poor.

He's just a teenage boy.

OH. I KNOW WHAT I'M SMELLING.

FUCKING FIREWORKS.

Sky pervert you say?

Everyone but me is like 'OH MY GOD ITS GUNSHOTS. 100 PERCENT GUNSHOTS. THE WORLD SO DANGEROUS.' And I'm like... bitch... its fireworks... 'NO -- ITS NOT -- I WAS IN THE ARMY I WOULD KNOW WHAT A GUNSHOT IS. PLUS, I JUST SAW THE FLASH FROM THE BARREL'. Excuse me... guns don't... guns don't flash.

That's not... how guns work.

Oh, what? I don't have my ______ with me.

I was waiting to see how long before you noticed.

Wow you guys are so mean. Not telling me I forgot my ______.

I'm gonna summon them like beatle juice.

Oh man, it didn't work.

Oh there you are. I tried to summon you like beatle juice but it didn't work.

Well you should'a said that chant over a dead possum. Then I would'a heard you.

Confession. I'm still hella weak for bunny tatas.

I DON'T REMEMBER ALL THE FAKE NAMES OKAY.

Clearly neither does _______.

Am I ready for this? Am I? Aaam I? I am, let's go.

Ah, so polite. You're also like. My well of never-ending potions.

Oooooo. Whip him. Whip him daddy.

I want to see him broken and bleeding and crying for more.

*gets the holy water hose again*

THATS NOT HOLY WATER. THERE'S NOTHING HOLY ABOUT IT. EXCEPT THAT IT FILLS ME WITH HOLES.

Exactly.

What big teef u have.

Every city looks pretty at night. They look better on FIRE at NIGHT.

We're not lighting _______ on fire.

WHY THE FUCK NOT? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS GASOLINE NOW?

Okay, _______? You can set that _____ right there on fire.

GONNA LIGHT IT UP SO BRIGHT. MAKE IT A FUCKING PHOENIX.

Hello sexy.

Nevermind. He looked better through the blurry window.

Everyone looks the god damn same to me.

[spongebob voice] Iiiiiii'm ready. Iiiiii'm ready.

I don't know if this is weird but, does catnip... smell like tea? Cuz I think it kinda smells like tea.

Wouldn't know, I've never smelled catnip that I can remember.

I missed my chance to be Cool and say 'I've never snorted catnip'. I disappoint myself.

Awwww, but I want to take out half your kingdom army with this.

Dang you only had 8 dollars? You're a poor ass soldier, what the fuck.

I guess I WILL just... sound the alarm.

sOUND THE ALARM. BEE BU DEE BU DAH DEE DEE DEE.

Now I'm gonna have to look that song up. God damn it.

You gonna slap her again?

God-- Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

DON'T STOP. BELIEVIN'.

n y o o m.

SUPER SAIYAN.

R i p t h a t du d e.

aAWWWWWWWWW WHAT ARE TH OSE? THEY'RE ADORABLE.

I can't find the god damn song.

lOOK AT THAT ARMOR.

Found ya, bitch.

I ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT THE GOD DAMN FILTER.

THEY'RE ADORABLE. I WANT 10.

THE SHEEP LOOK LIKE MUPPETS, WHAT THE FUCK. THEY'RE SO CUTE.

______ are better.

_______ are blessings.

Jeez ______, god damn, put some eye drops in your eyes.

I mean. Its an honest mistake. At least you didn't go out into a sandstorm without your party to fight a _______.

FIX YOURSELF.

fIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

Okay. Let's just go with this.

Too many. I don't like it.

*sips cola*

i gOT THE COLA.

Ah, now ______, you look like you done this before.

SOMETHING ABOUT THAT JUST. ISN'T RIGHT.

I hate being blinded too... I say as I never wear glasses I need to wear.

'__________' sounds like a really cool _______ name, not gonna lie.

Hi, _______'s possible ancestor.

oHO DAMN SHE ANGERY.

*to the tune of shots* BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS

I'll see myself out.

Here comes butts.

ANGERY BUNNY BUTT.

t h e f u c k w a s t h a t. That thing looked like something out of a nightmare.

THAT THING. NO. THE ALLIGATOR LOOKING BITCH.

I'm here and I AM queer.

THOT.

SCARY BITCH.

Hello queer. I'm ace.

THE BACON PEPPERONI WOLF.

I don't know why they did this but. God. Horrible clashing colors.

You wouldn't eat that.

I WOULD EAT IT. BET IT TASTES LIKE CYANIDE AND HEARTBURN.

Why am I friends with you?

That skirt is not functional. This... is both problem and not a problem at all. Its a problem because why bother wearing anything at all at that point. Its not a problem because at least it keeps the perverts happy.

I hate those boots. I wish you'd just put on actual pants.

Fight her boots.

That dysfunctional wardrobe is the final boss.

Jar jar binks got big. Stronk stronk bigs.

THERE BE ANOTHER ONE.

AAAAARRRRR. YE BE AFTER ME TREASURE?

I can't be a pirate anymore though, so...

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Cure me, bitch.

*HEAVENLY CHORUS IN THE BACKGROUND*

All I can imagine is that skyrim video, with the crier, flying away into the horizon as he’s giving a sermon.

HE ASCENDED.

That feeling when you kick the power strip and knock the internet out.

Don't kick power strips. Power strips are friends.

This is what happens when I never sit at a desk.

Why do I do this to me.

I love ______. He's a good. But not really. He's an asshole, but, we love him anyway.

He tried to be a dad. I'm proud of him.

All fictional redheads are Good, But Not Really.

Okay well. Maybe not ALL of them. Judge _____ all you want. Stupid fuck.

______'s the only ginger who'se excused.

I feel like ____ wears that title proudly... I almost typed tittie.

Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

V IOLENT CO UGHING.

Wind sure is loud today.

I WANT TO ADOPT ALL OF THE ________.

I wanna be a sky pirate.

Let _______ have the tittie of bitch.

The tittie of bitch? Really?

I CHOKED ON MY FUCKING CHILI.

NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

TRAITOR.

_______'s a dick and he can go choke on it.

Fingers do have bad days.

My fingers are dyslexic, pass it on. Calling you stupid bone sausages out.

NO. I'M SORRY. FORGIVE ME. HAVE MERCY.

No mercy.

I dunno, _________, should I forgive you? Should I? Should I...?

Y e s. You should forgive me. I'm an angel, remember?

Angels don't talk about eiffel tower dick.

Besides the eiffel tower incident--

I... I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Dead. I died.

Yesterday I died.

GET OUT. And take your pain with you!

Bye. Have a nice sleep out in the middle of the _______.

Yeah, I ditched him. I don't even care if he's asleep. I ditched him.

[leemillion]

CALLING ALL PRESTON GOODPLAY LOVERS (aka me)

IM MAKING A PLAYLIST

FOR THE ONE AN ONLY 😌

AND I NEED SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF HIM. WHETHER THAT BE DIFFERENT STAGES OF HIS LIFE (canon or headcanon) OR YKNOW JUST WHATEVER GIVES YOU THE ✨VIBES✨

I’D LOVE SOME OUTSIDE OPINIONS ON THIS

HERE’S THE SONGS I ALREADY HAVE IN ORDER:

Introduction to the Snow - Miracle Musical (gives me the ✨vibes✨)

Look Who’s Inside Again - Bo Burnham (Think it would describe his childhood. At least a part of it)

Am I Supposed To Apologize? - Maria Mena (It’s %90 percent here because of a few short lyrics that would imply him discovering his love of theater. The other %10 is because I have a headcanon he’s a child of divorce parents.)

My Play - AJR (C’mon man it seems pretty self explanatory if you’ve listened to it. Plus it adds onto the divorced parents theory)

The Main Character - Will Wood (It’s literally him. C’mon man. The vibes. Also you cannot tell me he wouldn’t be a huge Will Wood fan.)

Hard to Be the Bard - Something Rotten! (He’s a writer✨ An artist✨ It can’t possibly be easy 😔)

Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos (Now this one is more the Performance Trio as a whole but still. Preston is the poet, obviously 😌 while Nerris is the soldier and Harrison is the ruler.)

I/Me/Myself - Will Wood (Because he's just so ✨gender✨ Plus if you headcanon him as gender-fluid it makes this even better.)

Oh No! - Marina & The Diamonds (A desire to succeed. To make it big in this world. He knows what he wants and he won’t stop at nothing to get it. He definitely has a fear of failure. And who’s to say he doesn’t feel like he’s the worst? He already acts like he’s the best. Who’s to say that’s not a cover up?)

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic (Consider this the beginning of Preston Goodplay’s Good Play. He finally has a performance piece that people seem to like. He’s finally getting the love and attention he so deserves 😌 But at what cost?)

Non-Stop - Hamilton (Turns out his new performance is the only thing people seem to want. So why not just keep writing up new ideas for it? Sure he’ll eventually run out. But right now’s not eventually! He’ll just have to keep coming up with new ideas for it! Thing is it’s getting a lot more stressful than he intended.)

Left Brain, Right Brain - Bo Burnham (Oh Y’know just that one scene where he’s arguing with his own fucking reflection. Unsure whether he should sell out and give the people what they want, or follow what he wants with the risk that no one would like it.)

Show & Tell - Melanie Martínez (Ok this is getting ridiculous. They’ve started showing up to his practices and commenting on HIS writing process. It’s overwhelming. But what can he do about it? They’re his target audience. Well his only audience but still-)

Everyone is Dumb - Mazie x Everybody Likes You - Lemon Demon (Seems self explanatory. Everyone actually pays attention to him now. They’re excited for his performances. Everyone likes him. But they’re also stupid. It’s a stupidly simple performance that’s virtually the same every time. Yet they never get tired of it. Yes they like him, but is it worth it if this is the reason they like him.)

Shine A Light (Reprise) - Heathers (Oh y’know just the silly little nightmare he has :,D And then the hallucinations of his own reflection laughing at him. Plus him pulling out that prop knife uh- was he just being dramatic or??? Like he did have a bit of a psychotic break, man’s was hallucinating. How do we know he didn’t think the knife was real? Like was he actually trying to- y’know? Seriously is he ok-??)

Are You Satisfied - Marina & The Diamonds (He talks to David for a bit. And something’s called to question. Is he satisfied with this? He’s worried about his future yes, but then again what’s the point of making art if he doesn’t actually like it himself. It’s pointless. And he realizes no one else should get a say in what he wants to create. It’s his problem. No one else��s.)

Drama Club - Melanie Martinez (Honestly just doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinions anymore and that’s kind of a good thing. Even if they hate it. “Any reaction, positive or negative, is still a reaction :D” As tomatoes are pelted towards him. Honestly a healthier mentality than he had before. And I think that’s the end of the Preston Goodplay’s Good Play section of the playlist!)

Recess - Melanie Martinez (I’m here for Preston’s grandmother raising him and teaching him everything she knows 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Stg every lyric fucking fits. Also I think this could apply to his new mentality of “Fuck you it’s my art not yours I do what I want.” A nice little summary to the fiasco that is Preston Goodplay’s Good play.)

Mirror Man - Jack Stauber’s Opal (Mostly just gives me Preston vibes. His desire to become famous and what not.)

Art Is Dead - Bo Burnham (Vibesss man. “I am an artist, please god forgive me. I am an artist, please don't revere me. I am an artist, please don't respect me I am an artist, you're free to correct me. A self-centered artist. Self-obsessed artist. I am an artist. I am an artist. But I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid, kid. And maybe I'II grow out of it”)

Finale (Can’t Wait To See What You Do Next) - AJR (Honestly just thought it’d be cool to have the last song in the playlist be called Finale 💀 But I think it’s a nice little summary of his character. A final bow if you will 😌)

Anyways that’s about it. If anyone else has suggestions or input on the songs already here feel free to! Hell if you happen to disagree with anything feel free to. I love discussions about things I like :D Also feel free to suggest songs that you think I should add 😌 Gonna go pass out now baiiii

[ophelliate]

okay so, my actual thoughts on the movie (i'll be mentioning massive spoilers at random so be warned)

i appreciate that the movie really put focus on all four boys as a collective instead of focusing on a select character, though it did feel like we only got a lick of them individually (though i'm sure that the show will make up for that)

the fight scenes???? bro i was grinning ear to ear every time the team was in action

the music was also super pleasant and gave in to the urban nightlife completely

i feel so dumb/unlucky that i had the chance to watch ferris bueller's day off yesterday and just decided not to, so to see it in the movie felt like my own personal slap in the face

actually the amount of references in the movie was about as much as i expected and a lot more at the same time, but it still felt fairly natural

attack on titan being the source of the boys' plan for the final fight is wild though, and its nice to see donnie's input be taken seriously in that regard

donnie's interesting now thinking about it, since i don't think there's any instance where he's considered a tech genius, he really is just a fandom kid and a lot of his ideas/skillsets are based around the content he consumes (the tism is strong here when i'm describing it)

also i know the boys were taught their ninja skills via home-video instructions, but how much do they actually know about their weapons??? donnie and the rest of them literally refer to his bo staff as a stick and not anything else

that might also explain why raph's sais are seemingly sharp, because none of them know that's even a defense weapon and is supposed to be dull

actually wait how did they even get their weapons?? why were there ninja weapons just chilling in the sewers– oh this could be a lore thing. ohoho this is a secret lore thing

oh yeah the milking joke was 100% seth rogan's idea i will not believe anything otherwise like what the fuck was that

i also need to know how the mutants age. odd question i know but they were all fetuses in tubes at the start of the movie and were raised by superfly for fifteen years, but they all seem to be different ages? it could be from their animal years but the turtles age like humans so wouldn't it be something similar? i'm definitely overthinking this but would love some input

speaking of the villains tho– the final fight?? where THE BOYS' SHELLS GOT CRUSHED??? i audibly gasped in the theaters how the hell did they walk that off

i just know fics are gonna be touching on that because the entire sequence was insane they'reonly14yearoldninjaturtles–

let them have physical therapy i beg, their bones are so fucked

i also need to rewatched this movie specifically because there was a background character with a skull t-shirt and my delusions are telling me it might be casey jones

overall i'm shaking

[kanerallels]

So I told my sister and a couple other people I would post this, and here it is! Just some ponderings about Kanan in the Hera is a Jedi au that turned themselves into a ficlet. Set mid-season one of SWR, and rated G!

Taglist: @firefoxtessa @day-to-day-thots @auroramagpie @laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @heckin-music-dork @opalknight @cassie-fanfics and I'm also gonna tag @xxxcertifiednerdxxx, solely because you're accidentally the reason I wrote this. Feel free to ignore the tag, though! (also if anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist, DM me!)

“What’s Kanan’s job around here, anyways?”

Hera barely glanced up at Ezra’s question as she removed yet another part from her lightsaber, which lay in pieces in front of her on the worktable in her room. “What do you mean?”

Frowning, Ezra said, “Everyone’s got a role, you know? Zeb is the muscle and Chopper’s the homicidal hacker droid, and Sabine’s the explosives expert, and you’re the Jedi and the pilot and the boss all at once. You’re all really talented, you know?”

A smile hovered at the edge of Hera’s mouth as she picked up a miniscule tool and used it to unscrew another part. “Flattering as always, Padawan. Your point being?”

“Kanan doesn’t really have a role,” Ezra said, watching her work. “Hey— couldn’t you use the Force for that?”

“I could,” Hera agreed, removing the part. “But I like to do it this way.” Setting aside her tool, she finally met Ezra’s eyes. “Why does it matter what Kanan’s role is? He’s here to help us fight, and that’s what’s important.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Someone say my name?”

Ezra and Hera glanced up as Kanan stuck his head through the open door, lifting a curious brow. “Ezra wants to know your role in this crew,” Hera said dryly. “Any thoughts?”

“Oh, obviously,” Kanan said. “Professional chef, and eye candy.” He shot a wink at Hera, who rolled her eyes, before turning to Ezra. “But in all seriousness— I’m whatever we need at the moment. That’s where I do my best work. Speaking of best work, how do enchiladas sound for dinner? I found some of those peppers you and Zeb love so much at the market, Captain Hera.”

“That sounds amazing, love,” Hera said, shooting him a smile as he slipped back out and down the hall. After a moment, she directed her gaze back to Ezra. “Does that answer your question?”

“...kind of?”

Chuckling, Hera said, “Well, if you’re still wondering, why not ask the rest of the crew? They might have some good insight. And you could always try meditating on it.”

“I think I’ll talk to the others,” Ezra said hastily, getting to his feet. Hera looked amused, but gave him a nod before returning to her lightsaber maintenance with laser-like focus.

The first crew member he encountered was Chopper, and Ezra knew better than to bother with him. Not that he’d care, anyways, the droid was crazy. Instead, he headed for the lounge, where he found Zeb cleaning his bo-rifle.

The Lasat directed a frown at him— but it wasn’t his real, “why are you near me do you want to suffer” scowl, just his all purpose “I’m pretending to be grumpy cause it makes me look cool” frown. “Thought you were training with Hera.”

“I was,” Ezra said, dropping onto a crate nearby. “But then I asked her a question—”

“You? Ask a question? Color me real surprised.”

“Ha, ha,” Ezra said, scowling at him. “Listen. I asked her what Kanan’s role was on the ship.”

“Really?” Zeb paused in his cleaning and glanced up, interest flashing through his eyes. “What did she say?”

“Why? Wait— do you not know either?”

“‘Course I know. Just curious about what she said.”

“Sure. Well, she said that it wasn’t important, then told me to ask everyone else. Kanan says he’s whatever he needs to be. Well, first he flirted with Hera, then he said that.”

Snorting, Zeb said, “Sounds about right.”

“So what do you think? What’s Kanan’s role?”

The Lasat shrugged, setting aside a cleaning rag. “Dunno. He’s just Kanan.” He glanced up in time to see Ezra’s scowl, and sighed. “Look, kid. You’re taking this too seriously. It’s not really about roles, anyways. It’s about why we’re here.”

“What do you mean?”

Finally, Zeb set down his bo-rifle. “You know, why we’re fighting the Empire.” He paused, his expression turning uncharacteristically somber. “You know why I’m doing it. And Hera’s pretty obvious, more than just the Jedi stuff.”

“She’s passionate about making stuff right,” Ezra guessed. “Well, what about Sabine?”

“What about me?”

Ezra and Zeb both looked up to see Sabine, carrying a handful of paint-covered rags and looked satisfied with herself. “Kid wants to know what Kanan’s role is, why he’s here,” Zeb said, nodding at Ezra. “Then he asked about you.”

“Seriously?” Sabine rolled her eyes. “Tell me you two aren’t this clueless. He’s here for Hera, obviously.”

“Well, I know that,” Ezra said, feeling himself flush slightly as Sabine ducked into the kitchen and returned without the rags. “But, like, does he have another reason? And what’s his job, you know? He’s kinda just some guy, not a Jedi or pilot like Hera, and not a master warrior like Zeb, or an explosive expert like you.”

“True,” Sabine acknowledged. “But not everyone in the Rebellion has to be as amazingly talented as we are. Most of us have a personal problem with the Empire. Could be Kanan does, too. But why does it matter?”

“I… guess it doesn’t,” Ezra said slowly. “It just didn’t make any sense to me that he’s the odd one out, I guess.”

Sabine shook her head impatiently. “You’re putting too much stock in the “everyone needs to be crazy skills” thing, kid. Look, Kanan’s a great shot, and a decent co pilot.”

“Amazing cook, too,” Zeb offered, and Sabine nodded.

“True. But what’s most important is that he has our backs. He looks out for us, in big ways and little ones. He knows what we need and he makes sure we can do our jobs well. We couldn’t do this without him. Got it?”

“I… I do, actually,” Ezra said. “Thanks.”

Kanan announced dinner was ready around an hour later, and the crew gathered in the lounge to eat. Hera took her usual seat, and Ezra dropped onto a crate nearby. “Did you figure out the answer to your question, Padawan?” she asked him, a hint of amusement in her eyes.

Setting down his fork, Ezra said, “I did, actually.” He paused, feeling the crew’s eyes on him, but Hera nodded for him to go on. “Your role isn’t an obvious one like Zeb or Hera,” he told Kanan, who was sitting opposite them, his plate balanced on one knee. “You’re here to watch our backs and make sure we’re okay, and take care of us. You’re… kind of the glue that holds us all together. Without you, we wouldn’t have made it this far.” He looked at Hera. “Am I right?”

His master was smiling, first at Ezra, and then at Kanan, who seemed surprised. “You’re absolutely right,” she told him. “Well done, Ezra.”

“Not bad, kid,” Zeb said.

Shrugging, Ezra said, “Hey, Kanan said it first— he’s whatever we need him to be. I think that counts, right?”

Kanan let out a chuckle, shaking his head. “Can’t argue there, I guess.” Shooting a wink at Hera, he added, “I still think I count as eye candy, though.”

“Of course you do, dear,” Hera said, rolling her eyes.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Episode 11: Recap and Guide

Hey, fellow Star Creator! Are you ready to have your heart smashed to smithereens? …. No? Me either. In fact, I'm late getting this recap to you because it was hard to type with my heart next to me in a basin of saline solution. But I managed.

Let’s go!

At 0:38, we start off with the boys hanging out at their dorms after their third mission, high fiving each other and expressing some anxiety about the upcoming eliminations. They have to pack to go home now for a while. The staff has set up a photo booth for them to make some memories.  In case anyone thinks that there’s animosity between Woongki and Zhuang Shai Bo, there definitely isn’t.  

The trainees go back back home, awaiting the next elimination ceremony. 

Pretty sure that’s Ricky, just being mysterious and painting roses in a graffiti covered studio, because how else would Ricky spend his time when he’s not performing?

We spend a little time with Han Yujin and his very popular pretty mother. We also see Keita and Kum Junhyeon hanging out with Eunho from Younite and Hwi from Ciipher -- it seems that Junhyeon used to be a trainee at Rain company and trained with some or all of the Ciipher, which explains how they both know Hwi, but I’m not sure the impossibly faced Eunho fits in (seriously, who has a face like that? He looks like a Bratz doll come to life, in a good way). I also don’t know how we never knew that Junhyeon and Keita have been friends this whole time??? They’re just out having a meal and talking about how young Kum Junhyeon was when they used to train together. We see a lot of other stuff, including Kim JiWoong at a dog cafe, even though he’s apparently allergic to dogs. They’re all visiting with friends and family.

Then we see the guys all packing to go back to Planet Camp, even though many of them know that they probably won’t make it through this elimination ceremony. It’s pretty sad. But remember, they’re all going to be ok, right, team? A lot of them are signed with good companies and will probably debut in 2025, if not sooner. So deep breaths. It’s ok!

Then we visit with Park Hanbin, who is wearing a very soft looking blue sweater, as if anticipating future MNET shows. He says he’s worried about not being able to debut. Park Hanbin, you silly goose. You’re going to debut whether or not you make it into Bepler. Listen to BPR Noona. I know of what I speak.

6:15 Now it’s time for the elimination ceremony!

So, I actually watched the live streaming ceremony, which popped up on my phone as I was getting ready to go to sleep. Cannabis is legal where I live and so I might have been particularly ready to close my eyes, you know? But I watched, my eyes blinking heavily, because I wanted to know! The things the boys were saying weren’t translated, so I was only able to catch the gist. Also, the live broadcast was just a raw feed of them, and without the editing and background music, it felt like I was watching a first rehearsal. 

Anyway, as usual, we start with the boys backstage talking about how nervous they are -- us too, guys -- and then coming out in small groups based on their most recent challenge mission. They do various kinds of schtick, and once their whole team is out they do a combined schtick. It looked heckin’ awkward in the live broadcast, but edited down it looks much better.

Here’s the order they come out:

Kim Tae Rae, Na Kamden, and Zhang Shuai Bo (Switch)

Keita, Park Hanbin, and Yoon Jongwoo (Switch)

Wang Zi Hao, Ollie, and Haruto (Supercharger)

Woongki, Takuto, Seo Won (Supercharger)

Zhang Hao and Lee Jungheyon (Over Me)

Ricky, Chen Kuan Jui, Jay (Over Me)

Sung Hanbin and Han Yujin (Say My Name)

Yoo Seung Eon, Seok Matthew, and Kim Ji Woong (Say My Name)

Hui (Lee Hoe Taek), Hiroto, and Lee Seung Hwan (En Garde)

Kim Gyuvin, Kum Junhyeon, Park Gunwook (En Garde)

And who is their Star Master this time? In the live broadcast, she stood with her back to the camera for just a few seconds and then came in, but of course, in the edited version, there’s 15 minutes of guessing first. 

But it’s Jeon Somi! 

I would impale myself on those spikes every time I moved slightly, but she makes it look good.

If you’re not familiar with Jeon Somi, she is a successful soloist who went through the reality show gamut. First she was on a show called Sixteen, a reality competition show that created the kpop giants Twice (you know, the ones who sing “Feel Special”). She didn’t make the lineup of Twice, but she got pretty popular from being on the show. Then she was on the first season of Produce 101, the precursor of Girls Planet/Boys Planet, and ended up pretty much killing it, taking first place in the final episode and becoming the “center” of project group IOI (pronounced “eye-oh-eye”). Check out their song Very Very Very if you want to see what IOI is like.

After IOI disbanded, Somi became a soloist. I love her song Birthday -- my fella doesn’t like much kpop, but for whatever reason he loves Birthday. (He specifically loves how she she says “eyyy”.) Despite it being a pretty great song, Birthday wasn’t a huge hit because she was “f a a t “ at the time (she absolutely wasn’t, and even if she was, it shouldn’t matter, but people can really be The Worst, and also her stylist didn’t know how to dress a young woman with actual boobs). Anyway she has other songs now, like Dumb Dumb, and she’s frighteningly skinny now, so she’s a lot more successful. I think she’s always been a sparkly fun person. I wish she’d given her cue cards a bit of a read before she came out on stage, but… whatever. Oh, and if you’re wondering, she’s 22, half Korean and half white, and was born in Canada.

The boys go crazy when they realize it’s Somi -- Kamden says he won’t be able to sleep tonight, and a few of the others talk about how tall she is. She’s 5’8, which is fairly tall for a girl, especially in Korea. 

She reads some usual stuff off a cuecard, and then adds, “It’s not easy being on a survival show, is it? I remember HATING this studio myself” (as in, when she was on Produce 101). The boys give her some serious snaps. 

We find out that people in 182 countries voted a total of 31,750,293 votes, and that trainees ranked 1 through 18 will survive. We also find out that during the first phase of the announcement, they’ll only be announcing trainees from 11 through 17 inclusive, which is only seven people, so this is really silly. 

After that, in the live broadcast, Somi said something that MNET translated thusly: “I know how much effort and sweat they have put into this far because not only I but so many world star creators are sending their cheers to them. Believe in your time and the sweat dedicated, and get with it to the end.” That part didn’t make it into the final airing, as far as I can tell, but I think it’s funny. She read it at top speed, sounding like a bored flight attendant reading the same safety instructions for the millionth time, and not looking up from the cue cards once. Maybe that’s why they didn’t air it.

Anyway -- so now that the stakes have been established, we bring up two teams to start with: Switch and Engarde. 

First Round of Eliminations 

Here are the 12 trainees who are waiting to hear their fate, in order of their rank in episode 8:

6 Kim Gyu Vin Love Me Right - K / Love Killa/ En Garde

7 Kim Tae Rae Back Door - K/ Man in Love/ Switch

8 Keita Kill This Love - G/ Zoom /   Switch

9 Park Gunwook Kill This Love - K/ Tomboy/ En Garde

10 Kum Jun Hyeon Back Door - K /Gang /    En Garde

11 Hui Love Me Right - K / Tomboy /En Garde

13 Park Hanbin Hot Sauce - K   /   Law/ Switch

15 Yoon Jong Woo Back Door - K /Home/Switch

20 Na Kamden Back Door - G /Law /Switch

21 Lee Seung Hwan Danger - K/ Gang /En Garde

23 Zhang Shuai Bo Back Door - G/ Feel Special /Switch

28 Hiroto Very Nice - G/ Rush Hour/ En Garde

Somi announces that they’re going to announce the trainee who is 11th place, who got 2,365,604 points. It’s someone who did the killing part.

Then she gives the clue that the person in 11th has the family name “Park.” Well, that’s either Park Gunwook or Park Hanbin. Gunwook doesn’t want to be announced in 11th place; Hanbin would be delighted to be in 11th. So they sort of awkwardly grin at each other from across the aisle. 

At 17:13 And then we find out that it’s Park Hanbin! So they’re both happy! Everyone is proud of him and a little surprised.

Look how happy Z-Bo is for him, and everyone else, too! That’s their fearless leader! 

He says, “I won’t be able to be the shiniest star on Boys Planet, but I want to be the one and only star. Since this could be my last chance to shine the brightest, I’ll try to give a great performance.” Somi tells him he shines brightly already, and his gives her a huge, eye squinting grin. That’s doing to be a “happy memory for a sad day” for him -- one of those happy memories you return to when you need a boost. But hopefully Hanbin won’t have too many sad days in front of him.

Kum Junhyeon says to Park Gunwook, “he didn’t deserve the low ranking,” which is so true. Park Hanbin has been great since the first day. It was just hard to get to know his personality at first.

In the live broadcast, Somi asked him to show his “favorite facial expression,” and he did, but it’s all so weird. Does anyone else think that Kpop is getting a bit too codified? Can there be any mystery or general stage technique that isn’t parsed down into the tiniest bits? Anyway, that doesn’t make it into the final broadcast, which is all for the best 

As Hanbin walks up to lonely seat 11 all by himself, Jay says, “Park Hanbin serves and deserves,” which is a great way of putting it. 

Here’s the floor plan to help you figure out who is sitting where as the episode goes on-- that’s P-Hanbin in 11th. 

This is where the live broadcast ended, so I was a mixture of happy (I was so stoned and sleepy and just wanted to close my eyes) and contented (at least my Park Hanbin is safe!) and furious (seriously, MNET?). But that’s all they gave us, the fuckwits. 

Rank 12 is next, and it’s someone from En Garde, someone who stood out because of best friend energy, so that could be a lot of people. 

We find out that it’s Park Gunwook! He’s fallen from 9th place to 12 -- everyone is shocked, and there’s a silent pause before people start applauding. That peach, Lee Seunghwan, who probably isn’t going to make it through this elimination, gives him a high five and tries to cheer him up, but he looks really sad.

Sad, but still cute! I like the ruffly hair.

Ok, everyone’s super surprised that he fell out of the top9, but I’m not that surprised, really. Don’t get me wrong, I still quite like Park Gunwook and am rooting for him to succeed in life. I���ve heard that some people dislike him, but I think he’s essentially a sweet guy who jokes around in uncomfortable situations. I also think he’s talented, with a loveable face, and I hope that Jellyfish will figure out some way to promote him if he doesn’t make the top 9 here. 

That all said, he’s been showing the same part of himself again and again on the show. It’s that super masculine, powerful style of dancing that he always does, you know? I think people are just a tiny bit tired of the powerful powerhouse of power. I feel that way a tiny bit myself. I didn’t need him to do something super cute like Say My Name or something mega sexy like Over Me, exactly, but I think I would have liked to see him in something more like Switch -- something that requires a different, more lighthearted style of dancing. I think he can do it, so I hope that he can show that in the next episode. 

Who’s next? Rank 15. Who could it be?

It’s someone known for his unique facial expressions, and it’s an extrovert, so it could be a lot of them -- not Keita, Hui, Hiroto, or Lee Seunghwan who are introverts, but any of the rest. (Is anyone else surprised to hear that Kim Taerae is an extrovert? He comes across as more of an introvert -- probably MNET editing striking again.)  Anyway, it could be almost any of these six…

And at 22:45 we find out that it’s Yoon Jongwoo, who had been ranked 15th in episode 8. 

Everyone is super surprised, including Jongwoo himself. I think he was expected to be eliminated after his ignominious treatment in episodes 9 and 10, but seriously, watch his fancam from Switch. He’s such a good dancer and performer. He’d be a benefit to any team he’d be on. I really hope he does a cover of Over Me and puts it up on Youtube. Just putting that out into the universe. 

Kum Junhyeon and Kim Gyuvin have given up on casting spells. 

Who’s next? Rank 16. Who could it be? 

Park Hanbin mutters to himself, “This is daebak.” I should have mentioned this in an earlier recap, but for those of you newish to K-culture, “daebak” means something like “amazing” or “surprising” or even “cool.” Sometimes people just say “daebak” as an exclamation, in which case it means something like “wow!”

Everyone is anxious but Zhang Shuai Bo, who already knows that there is a 99.99999% chance that he is eliminated. He probably didn’t even pack anything in his suitcase. His new brown hair looks nice, though. 

It’s someone who’s rank has fallen, and someone who never had a killing part. That could be a lot of people. 

And at 25:49 we find out it’s Kum Junhyeon. (The Viki subtitler spells his name Guem -- the G/K sound in Korean is sort of halfway between G and K, so you see it either way depending on the transliteration system in use. And there’s a lot of variation in how people transliterate vowel sounds in Korean, which is one of the reasons I learned to read actual Korean sybmbols!)

Kum Junhyeon has dropped a lot from 10th place. I don’t have a specific theory as to why he dropped, but I kind of think that he’s stopped looking like one of the it-crowd, somehow. Put on a team with Gunwook and Gyuvin, he sort of faded into the background. I like Junhyeon a lot -- he’s charismatic, funny, open-hearted, and a really great singer -- and hope he debuts, but I don’t think he’s going to debut with Bepler. I think he knows that too -- he looks like he’s going to cry. 

We hear from each of them. 

Yoon Jongwoo says, “Since I came here without expecting anything, my memories here are so precious. I kept telling myself to be in the final, at least. And I ended up being here. I’d like to thank the Star Creators who support me one more time.” 

Park Gunwook says, “I really wanted to be on stage one more time. My goal coming here was moving on to the final.  Thankfully, I’d be able to join the final with such a high ranking. I’m relieved. I’d like to express my love and gratitude to the Star Creators who support me.”  

Then Somi asks Gunwook to do something aegyo, and he chooses instead to do something kawaii instead. He says, in Japanese, things like “I love you! I like you a lot!” (The on-screen words are transliterated Japanese with Korean translation underneath.)

Side note: “aegyo” is a thing in K-culture. It’s when idols and other performers do over-the-top, cloying, saccharine cuteness as a… mini performance. It’s quite popular among Koreans, and is often requested by variety show hosts, but international audiences often don’t like it. Personally, I don’t like it, but it’s not my culture and it’s not my place to say “stop doing thing because I don’t like thing,” you know? Though I really do wish they’d stop. 

Anyway, Gunwook speaking Japanese spurs Kum Junhyeon to do his speech in Japanese as well, and he sounds like a first semester Japanese student. It’s much cuter than his old “I am 5 years old” shtick, though, I’ll say that. 

So, this group takes their seats, and everyone wonders, Who’s next? But there isn’t anyone else in this group. 

Though the show plays danger music to make it seem otherwise, it’s fair to assume that Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, Keita, and Hui are probably in the top 10. But unless Na Kamden, Lee Seung Hwan, Zhang Shuai Bo, or Hiroto is ranked 18th, they’ve all been eliminated. 

The trainees think that Lee Hoetek/Hui might have been eliminated, but that seems extremely unlikely. The people who’ve been voting for him as of episode 8 are probably going to keep voting for him -- he just hasn’t done enough to attract new people to him. I don’t think he’ll make the final lineup, but I don’t think he’ll be eliminated today.

Then Somi announces that she’s heard that “on a beautiful day, the trainees spent a day full of doubts and suspicion.” 

Oh no.

It’s… 

30:05 FILLER TIME

If you’re not into Kpop -- and even if you are a little into it --  you may not know about the whole ecology that surrounds idol groups. There are these variety shows, such as After School Club and Weekly Idol, shows where idols come on and get made fun of and forced to do silly things, like dance to their songs at 2x speed, or chicken fight, or answer trivia questions, or whatever the show feels like doing to them. 

There’s also a custom of idols creating content specifically for their fans, to hold up their side of the parasocial relationship. They joke around, they play games, they cook or eat food, and most importantly, they talk to the camera like it’s their girlfriend and talk about how much they miss their fans and want to see them again. This stuff makes me uncomfortable, but I know a lot of people like it. 

Anyway, all the “filler” stuff we see on Boys Planet is a good introduction to the kind of content you often see on shows or videos like these. As such, even though it’s filler, it’s actually an audition for a big part of the job that they’ll be doing as idols. Plenty of idols are known as much for their reality show appearances as for their performance skills (if not more so). 

That said, there isn’t a lot to say about this stuff -- it’s just cute fan service. Here’s a super quick recap:

The boys gather outside at an area with big platform tents, on what must have been a lovely sprint day. Park Hanbin is wearing that same soft looking blue sweater, and Kim TaeRae is wearing a sweatshirt that says Thrasher on it, with just enough dark tape over the logo that they don’t have to blur it. My 17 year old self fainted dead away when she saw that Thrasher logo. Is there anything cuter than a skater boy? (Other than my fella, who is the cutest boy of all boys.)

The trainees are told they will have to dress like cute animals and spend a self-sufficient day in the forest - - which is complete bullshit, but that’s ok. 

First, they have to put on loose pajama pants without using their hands -- which is an excuse to help each other and touch each other’s crotchal areas with their feet and teeth -- in order to choose which team gets to wear which animal outfit. That part is actually pretty fun to watch, especially when Chen Kuan Jui uses his powers of stretchiness to get’er’done.

Once they get their animal outfit on (they’re just big loose onesie outfits), they’re all told that each team will have a “raccoon” in it (basically, like a mole -- someone who ruins everything) and that they have to figure out who it is. They have to go into a tent one by one to find out if they’re the raccoon or not -- it’s not as if they choose to be the mole. If the team can figure out who’s the raccoons amongst them, then everyone else wins the prize, but if they don’t, the raccoons win the prizes. The stakes are high.

Say My Name comes in first and chooses unicorn. 

Switch comes in second and chooses something red; I can’t tell what it is. 

En Garde comes in 3rd and chooses dinosaur.

Supercharger comes in 4th and chooses something pink; I can’t tell what it is.  

Over Me comes in last and chooses something black. 

Over Me’s raccoon is revealed immediately as Lee Jeonghyeon, and he says, “thank you” and that he’s confident he can do it. Just more MNET spotlighting him to try to get another K-group member in the top9 if possible. 

They’re hungry and have to play a game where they spin around until they’re dizzy and have to poke at a board with ingredients written on it. The best things are in tiny boxes, which are hard to target. But most of the trainees get at least something decent for food. 

Then they play another game to win dessert -- prizes range from shaved ice to “healthy tea” -- and this game is my least favorite Korean reality staple, “Scream in the dark.” It’s this game where they all wear huge headphones that block out most sound, and have to shout at each other and read each other’s lips. This game is played on all the idol shows, and it’s really not my favorite. Maybe it’d be more fun if I were a fluent Korean speaker…? Also, it’s obviously going to be hard for non native speakers from G-group. 

This part goes on for approximately 3,791 years, so if you’d like to skip to the end of it, go to 49:18. 

After that, the boys discuss who amongst them could be the raccoon (mole). We find out that each raccoon has a purple raccoon symbol stamped on his foot. So they choose who among them is the raccoon and then that person has to reveal their foot. 

Though Over Me’s team seems to suspect Lee Jeonghyeon, they cast out Jay, almost as if they are the general public viewing the show. Of course, Jay is innocent.

Switch team picks Keita, but he’s innocent as well. Turns out the mole was Park Hanbin! Back when he found out that he had to be the mole, he said -- with his face hidden and voice distorted -- “I can’t lie!” and collapsed on the floor. But he was good at it after all! Have I mentioned lately that I really like Park Hanbin? Because I do.

Say My Name team picks Sung Hanbin, and he’s also innocent. Turns out it was really Han Yujin. Interestingly, when he was chosen as the mole, he said, “I’m good at this kind of thing.” A rare glimpse into the personality of Han Yujin.

Supercharger picked Wang Zi Hao, and he is in fact the mole. 

En Garde team picked Kum Junhyeon, and he’s also innocent. Turns out the real mole was Park Gunwook. 

The raccoons have won! Their prize is a variety of high fashion outfits -- in other words, their animal onesies. (Ten bucks says they all got to keep their onesies anyway.)

And that’s the end of the filler!

56:50 SECOND ROUND OF ELIMINATIONS

They joke about the game for a bit longer, and then go back to the eliminations. 

Next up will be the other teams: Supercharger, Over Me, and Say My Name. 

Ricky says to Jay, in English, “Let’s survive together.” Kim JiWoong leans over to Matthew and says, quoting from Love Killa, “Oh I’m sorry, did I make you anxious?”

Here’s everyone who’s up on the chopping block, in case you would like a refresher as to who is who. I’ve listed their most recent rank as well as their three challenge missions.

1 Sung Hanbin Love Me Right - K / Tomboy / Say My Name

2 Zhang Hao Kill This Love - G/ Tomboy/ Over Me

3 Han Yu Jin Back Door - K   / Law / Say My Name

4 Seok Matthew Kill This Love - G/ Love Killa/ Say My Name

5 Kim Ji Woong Back Door - K /Love Killa /Say My Name

12 Jay Love Me Right - G/ Home /Over Me

14 Ricky Back Door - G/ Rush Hour /Over Me

16 Haruto Love Me Right - G / Zoom/ Supercharger

17 Yoo Seung Eon Very Nice - K Home Say My Name

18 Seo Won Very Nice - K Love Killa Supercharger

19 Wang Zi Hao Kill This Love - G Law Supercharger

22 Chen Kuan Jui Kill This Love - G Butterfly Over Me

24 Lee Jeong Hyeon Love Me Right - K Gang Over Me

25 Takuto Danger - G Rush Hour Supercharger

26 Cha Woong Ki Very Nice - K Feel Special Supercharger

27 Ollie Hot Sauce - G Zoom Supercharger

Who’s up first? 13th place. Who could it be? 

Someone who’s noted for their talent (thanks, that’s unhelpful). It’s someone from Over Me. We see Park Hanbin with his hands folded, as if in prayer -- he’s hopeful it’ll be his WakeOne teammate, Lee JeongHyeon. 

At 1:01:00, we find out it’s Jay. 

We see that Jay’s Korean support is painfully low -- only 62,829 votes, while everyone else announced so far has had 200,000+ -- while his global support is super high --  1,400,606 while no one else has broken into the millions. He’s a little sad because he’s dropped another spot, and it’s looking less and less likely that he’ll make top9 in the end.

Honestly, at this point, I think it’s better for Jay that he *not* debut in Bepler. Looking at what’s going on with Kepler, all the fan wars and stuff, I think he’s better of not in that kind of situation. Who wants to debut based on global vote and then have to go to fan meetings in Korea where literally no one acknowledges you? He’ll have a more fulfilling career using this as a spring board to make his own music and release it mostly online, the way that B.I. and Jackson Wang do. Let K-netz hate him all they want, and let him just sing in English like he’d probably prefer to do. I’d much rather have B.I.’s career than, say, Park Jihoon’s. (Though I do absolutely love all three of the songs I linked to, for the record. But Jihoon’s stylist noona deserves serious sanctions. His whole MV team does. Send them to the naughty step for a few hours to rethink their choices in life.) There’s life after Boys Planet and it doesn’t have to involve Bepler. 

Who’s next? 14th place. Who could it be? 

Someone indispensable -- so team Supercharger hopes it’s Haruto, as do we all, right? Haruto is everyone’s unproblematic fave. 

At 1:02:34, we find out it’s Yoo Seungeon.

Yoo Seungeon is signed to Yuehua, along with current trainees Ricky, Zhang Hao, Han Yujin, Ollie, and Kim Gyuvin, and eliminated trainees Brian and Ji Yun Seo.  He really is quite young to debut, and doesn’t really need to debut right now -- it seems quite likely that Zhang Hao and Han Yujin will make the final lineup, and Ricky and Gyuvin have a decent chance, so the Yuehua team that debuts in 2024 or 2025 will start off with a lot of momentum. It still can’t hurt for Seungeon to have more exposure, so it’s nice that he made it. He seems like a sweet kid and a genuine talent. All that said, I’m so worried about Haruto I can’t think straight. 

Who’s next? 17th place. Who could it be?

Everyone is hoping that it’ll be themselves, and this is so painful. Cha Woongki tries to keep from hoping. The person is known for their rapping, so of course I’m hoping for Haruto, but there are a lot of rappers here. 

Somi says that the person has two “ng” consonants. 

Korean reading time! The little circles you see in Korean have a few different roles. Often, they’re silent, like when they come before a vowel. For example, the family name “Lee” (which is really pronounced more like Ee) is spelled 이, as you see above on Lee Jeonghyun’s name. (That straight up and down line thing is the -ee part. You also see it in the final syllable of Woongki’s name -- 기.) When you see the circle thingy at the top of a name, it’s more like “w-” sound. When it’s at the bottom of a word, it’s a -ng sound. That’s why you see it in the top and bottom of 웅 for Woongki (and for Kim JiWoong, also) and in 왕 Wang. You also see it in the bottom of Lee Jeonghyun’s second syllable. 

Of course everyone has tons of little circles in their names since they do so much work in Korean writing -- even before I could read Korean I could always tell Korean from other writing systems by the little circles. 

Who could it be in 17th place? At 1:05:05 we find out it’s It’s Lee Jeonghyeon. He burst into tears, which seems to surprise his fellow WakeOne trainees Park Hanbin and Kim TaeRae. Of course people are happy for him but sad that they (or their other friends) didn’t survive. 

We get told that without the benefit, he would have been in 19th place. 

The surviving trainees get to make a speech. 

Jay says, in slow English (probably to make it easier for non-native speakers to understand): "To all my friends and family watching from all the way back in the states, I just want to say thank you so much for tuning in every week and screaming at the television.” Somi, who is Canadian and fluent in English, says “Blow them a kiss!” and he does.

Yoo Seung Eon says, “First of all, I never imagined that I’d survive in a high rank of 14, so I feel like I’m dreaming. I have no words to describe how I feel right now. Also, thanks to my Say My Name teammates who created the greatest performance, I really love you.” 

Lee Jeonghyeon says, “At every survivor announcement, I was always on the verge of disqualifications. So today, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to make it. But I’m really grateful to the Team Over Me who practiced hard, so we could get benefits.” Then he says, in extremely halting Chinese and Japanese, things like “I love you” and “thank you”, with Hiroto and other trainees helping him from the sidelines. 

They take their seats, and Lee Jeonghyeon regains his cool. 

1:09:00 THIRD ELIMINATION SEGMENT - TOP 10

So, let’s look at the list of trainees, in their episode 8 ranking order. Those marked in green have already been seated in 11th through 17th place. 

1 Sung Hanbin 2 Zhang Hao 3 Han Yu Jin 4 Seok Matthew 5 Kim Ji Woong 6 Kim Gyu Vin 7 Kim Tae Rae 8 Keita 9 Park Gunwook 10 Kum Jun Hyeon 11 Hui 12 Jay 13 Park Hanbin 14 Ricky 15 Yoon Jong Woo 16 Haruto 17 Yoo Seung Eon 18 Seo Won 19 Wang Zi Hao 20 Na Kamden 21 Lee Seung Hwan 22 Chen Kuan Jui 23 Zhang Shuai Bo 24 Lee Jeong Hyeon 25 Takuto 26 Cha Woong Ki 27 Ollie 28 Hiroto

Speaking of falling out and making room, Somi reminds us all that Park Gunwook has fallen out of top 9, leaving a space for a new person. From context, the only person it could be is Ricky -- unless in some weird world it’s Hui. I just don’t think Hui is doing well enough on the show to make top9.  So yeah, given the obsessive nature of of Ricky’s fandom, I’m assuming he’s a lot of people’s one-pick and will probably be in the top 10, along with Sung Hanbin, Zhang Hao, Han Yu Jin, Seok Matthew, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, Keita, and Hui. I’m trying to think, could any of these have fallen out of the top 10, leaving room for Haruto? And I don’t think so. I think Matthew will have fallen a few ranks, but I don’t think he’s fallen out of the top 10.  And Hui -- I think he’s more nervous than he has to be. But we’ll see. 

Next up, we find out the “candidates for 9th place”, ie, the people ranked 9th and 10th. And it’s Hui and Matthew.

Hui is relieved, as he’s been thinking the whole time that he’s been eliminated, while Matthew is resigned to what to him is bad news. Matthew was ranked 2nd and then 4th, so falling to 9th or 10th is a steep drop. I really wish he’d just been sweet and nice about the part switch, because he did a great job in Say My Name -- I think the best in the group -- and he definitely lost some fans. I’ll add, however, that he might have lost those fans anyway as we moved from pick-3 to1-pick. The dynamics always change a lot when we get to the 1-pick.

Matthew and Hui come up to the front to find out who came in 9th -- and it's Matthew.

Matthew says, “I want to thank all the Star Creators for allowing me to stay in the Top 9. Hanbin hyung, Ji Woong Hyung, Yujin-ee and Seung Eon-ee, I was just so happy to be with you. I want to become more cool like Hanbin hyung and JiWoong hyung.  Thank you, and I also hope we’ll all be successful together.” Really putting on those retro-rockets, huh? I hope it helps -- I think he’s a great performer and would make a good member of Bepler.

Hui says, “I came worrying that I may have to go home today. I really want to thank the Star Creators for allowing me to get such an unexpectedly high rank. I also wanted to thank my En Guard team members who’ve worked so hard with me. I would like everyone to stay with me to the end, and although I cannot give amazing benefits like Boys Planet, I will becomes an amazing Hoe Taek and I will show you a good side of me.”

As Matthew goes to take his seat, you can hear Yoo Seungeon rush over to give Matthew-hyung a hug. Jay also comes over and says something in English but I can’t quite make it out. 

Next is 8th place. Who could it be? Well it’s one of Ricky, Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, or Keita. And at 1:16:42, we find out it’s Ricky! 

Ricky says, “It’s so cool to enter the Top9 for the first time. I can’t believe it. Honestly, the sofa looked so comfy that I wanted to try sitting in it at least once. I will show an even more improved version of me during the final stage.” The show makes a big deal out of how “sofa” is probably not a Korean word or the right word for these chairs, but, whatever, everyone knew what he meant.

We hear Jay call “Ricky!” and it’s honestly very pleasant to hear someone pronounce it like that. (Not going to say “correctly,” just… correct to my ears, you know?)

Side note: with his hair styled down like this, I actually don’t recognize him. I mean, I know it’s him, but my brain doesn’t believe me. 

Now it’s time to find out who is in 7th place. Well it’s one of Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Gyu Vin, Kim Tae Rae, or Keita. 

And at 1:18:39, we find out it’s Kim Gyuvin.

I like the return to a messy mop of hair. 

He says, “I want to thank you all for allowing me to end up in such a high rank. Through this final stage, I will prove to you why I need to debut.” Then he adds in uncertain Japanese, “I will become a more improved GyuVin. I love you.” Hiroto coaches him from the other side of the room.

I mean, I know that that interim ranking showed him really low, but it never occurred to me for a second he’d fall below 17. I think he might have been worried, though. He’s gotten some hate online. He sits down in the comfy chair and gives that weird smile of his. 

Next is 6th place. Who could it be? Well, it’s one of Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Tae Rae, or Keita. Because it’s someone whose rank improved, it’s either TaeRae or Keita.

At 1:21:17, we find out it’s Keita. Nice! I knew he’d make it. I’m glad to see his rank improving. His Korean support is low, but his global support is insane. He’s the first person to outscore Jay in the global vote. (He outscored Jay’s Korean support, as well.) 

Keita says, “I am just so happy and grateful to be able to move onto the final. I will keep doing my best.” Then he bows. That’s Keita for you. 

Next is 5th place. Well, it’s either Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Tae Rae, or maybe Zhang Hao. The person is popular with teenagers, and his charming point is his shy smile. TaeRae doesn’t have a shy smile, but Yujin does. 

At 1:22:58 we find out it’s Han Yujin, who at previous eliminations was 4th and 3rd.

Lee Jeonghyun turns around to look up at Park Hanbin and wonder out loud, “What place is TaeRae in?” Again, all three of them are signed together at WakeOne. And hopefully will all debut together ASAP. 

Han Yujin says, “To the Star Creators who have shown me much love ever since Na Bina was released,  I will work even harder from now on.” Then he adds in Chinese, “Hello. I’m 17-year old Han Yujin. I love you all. You’re so pretty. Thank you.” It doesn’t sound too bad to me but I don’t know Chinese.

Somi teases him about his legendary “Noona, I love you” thing and she asks him to say it to her. (Other trainees watching, including Kum Junyheon and Kim Gyuvin, mutter that they’d be happy to tell her that too.) He says, “Somi-Noona, I love you!” and Somi melts. It’s actually pretty cute, even though I have very little patience for this shiz.

As he goes to his seat, he’s mobbed by some of his friends, including his Yuehua teammate Ricky, who jokingly asks him to say “I love you hyung” to him, and his other Yuehua teammate Kim Gyubin, who seems happier for Yujin than he was for himself. 

Next is 4th place, who only scraped past 5th place by a few thousand points -- I’ll do a point analysis at the end of this recap -- and it’s obviously  Kim Ji Woong or Kim Tae Rae, or maybe Zhang Hao. 

Almost immediately we find out it’s Tae Rae. 

Hair stylist noona was really feeling the ruffley bang look today, wasn’t she? 

TaeRae says, “To my Star Creators who have always supported me, thank you so much. I will do my best to repay you for your love and support with an even better performance on the final stage.” Then Somi makes him do a big weird laugh and it’s… weird. But he’s still cute. 

He goes to take his place, and someone runs to hug him -- I’m pretty sure it’s his WakeOne teammate Park Hanbin.

Somi says she’s going to announce top 3, and Chen Kuan Jui says, in a big, bright, almost-not-sarcastic voice, “who on earth could it be? I’m so curious,”  Big snaps for that, CKJ.

Obviously it’s Kim JiWoong, Zhang Hao, and Sung Hanbin. 

Ok, so the show reminds us that the top placing trainee in the final episode will get to do a solo song on the group’s debut album, and we’re shown a clip of Kepler performing, with a focus on the first-place-winning Kim Chaeyoung. Thing is, though Chaeyoung came in first (and though she’s talented and sweet and I like her), she is definitely not the most popular member of Kepler these days. I checked a few different random rankings and she was ranked anywhere from 4th to last depending on which list I looked at. She has fans, definitely -- I’m sure plenty of people like her! -- I’m just saying that she’s not the runaway queen of the group or anything. Focusing on her just reminds us that it doesn’t matter AT ALL who comes in first, not even on the final episode, and definitely not now, a week out from first. 

(Side note: Another example of this is Ni-Ki from Enhypen. He finished in fourth place in the show I-Land, and spent some time in the unfavored zone for the trainees, but is now the runaway king of the group, with his fancams showing millions of views. The public who votes for reality show trainees aren’t necessarily representative of the entire Kpop viewing population.)

Despite the show basically shoving that fact in our face, it continues to act as if we really care who will specifically will be first, second, and third. Also I think we all know who is third. But WHO COULD IT BE?

At 1:28:49, we find out it’s Kim JiWoong. 

He says, “I am grateful and think of it as an honor to be able to provide comfort and happiness to others. Thank you.” I actually adore this guy. He’s a complete mystery of a human and I adore that. 

Then there’s some dumb bit where Somi makes him do aegyo and it goes on way too long. 

So now it’s time to announce who came in first between Zhang Hao and the impossibly, ridiculously perfect Sung Hanbin.

They say a lot of the normal, “what if confident, but polite?” type things, and then we find out that apparently Sung Hanbin helped Zhang Hao with the “Over Me” choreography to add some waacking elements. They weren’t even on the same team, and Hanbin still took time out of his schedule of providing solar power with his smile to go help his friend. 

And at 1:34:19, we find out that Hanbin has taken first again. 

He says, “Well, for this past Artist Battle mission, there was such a big benefit on the line, so I wasn’t really able to predict this. Please continue to cheer for me so I can run for the finish line, shining as bright as I can. My Say My Name members, I love you.”

Hao says, in his halting way, “I am so grateful and happy to be able to rank 2nd place again. I will continue running without stopping. Please continue being happy through my passion.” Then he adds in extremely halting Japanese, “motto ganbarimasu” -- kind of “I’ll keep going/ I won’t give up.”  His vote tally shows that he is more than 800,000 points ahead of 3rd/4th/5th place (which are almost a tie).

But it’s nothing compared to Sung Hanbin, who is more than a million points ahead of Hao. 

Sung Hanbin is dominating first place in a way we’ve never seen on the produce series. To put this in perspective: 

In Produce 101 season 1, Jeon Somi and Kim Sejeong traded off between 1st and second, with Somi actually falling to 4th place at the 2nd elimination before finally finishing in first.

In Produce 101 season 2, Park Jihoon, Kim Jonghyeon, and Kang Daniel held first place at different times. 

In Produce 48, Sakura, Lee Gaeun, and Jang Wonyoung held first place at different times.

In Produce X 101, Kim Yohan and Kim Wooseok traded off in first place.

In Girls Planet 999, Yurina was in first place in ep 5 and didn’t even make it into Kepler. Shen Xiaoting was in first place for most of the rest of the time, and then only made it into Kepler in 9th place, and Kim Chaeyhun came in first despite not ever ranking above 8th place before that. 

Granted, all four Produce seasons were known for straight up vote rigging, so maybe one person really was the most popular the whole time. But regardless, Sung Hanbin’s DOMINATION of first place is completely unprecedented in previous seasons of this show, with or without vote rigging. If he comes in first on Friday morning, it will be something we’ve never seen before on this show. 

Anyway, our top 9 is seated. Hey, if this is the debuting team, I’ll definitely follow them. 

1:36:26 Chair 18

This is the part where they announce who is ranked 18th, ie, the very last survivor. I’m not going to go in much depth here because this part isn’t fun to recap, you know? 

Haruto notices that Supercharger is still completely seated in the gallery -- no one has made it through the elimination. That’s the worst. 

Here’s who’s left, with their episode 8 rank. 

16 Haruto 18 Seo Won 19 Wang Zi Hao 20 Na Kamden 21 Lee Seung Hwan 22 Chen Kuan Jui 23 Zhang Shuai Bo 25 Takuto 26 Cha Woong Ki 27 Ollie 28 Hiroto

Who’s most likely to take that last spot? I hope Haruto, but really it could be any of them other than Z-Bo, Takuto, and Ollie, in my opinion. Let’s find out. 

Somi announces the FOUR candidates for spot 18 -- that’s so cruel. 

They announce Wang Zihao, Na Kamden, Cha Woongki, and Hiroto -- representing China, USA, Korea, and Japan.

Of course, this means that Haruto, Seo Won, Lee Seung Hwan, Chen Kuan Jui, Zhang Shuai Bo, Takuto and Ollie all have been eliminated. 

I can’t believe it about Haruto. The way he hangs his head just breaks my heart. I don’t even want to screen cap it. I didn’t see it coming so it was just a punch in the gut.

I’m sad for all of them, really, but aside from Haruto, I’m also especially sad for Lee Seunghwan, who, you may not know, already went through the reality show ringer once and was a member of 1the9, a group whose promotions were severely impacted by covid-19. Poor Seunghwan -- luck just never seems to be on his side, though he’s handsome, sweet, and talented. 

Side note: I was all up to date and ready to get this recap out on Saturday or something, but I just… didn’t… want to write it. I watched the whole thing taking quick notes to use as the basis of my recap later, and when Haruto was eliminated I just fast forwarded to find out who did survive and then turned the episode off and didn’t come back for several days. So if that’s how you’re feeling about it, me too. I guess maybe Haruto didn’t look like a viable candidate, so people gave up? Or maybe people thought that other people would vote for him, that he’d be safe? It’s strange to me that Hiroto beat Haruto in the final ranking. Nothing against Hiroto at all, but I’m just surprised. 

Anyway, let’s finish this. 

21st place turns out to be Hiroto, the only eliminated member of En Garde. From his spot on stage, Park Gunwook mutters to himself, “If we’d just gotten 1st place….” A general to the end, worrying about his troops. I will hear no talk about Gunwook being “mean” or anything like that. 

Hiroto says (in slow, careful Korean), “I didn’t get a good result because I was lacking, but…” (Woongki interrupts quietly, saying “that’s not true,” and Somi looks heartbroken) “...I am happy if the Star Creators were happy while cheering for me.” It’s a very sweet speech.

Somi says, “You are not lacking!” and Hiroto’s face lights up. She continues: “None of you are lacking! All of you here are amazing!” There, that’s my girl. That’s my Somi. 💓 She is so much more human than pretty much any judge or host we’ve had on the show so far -- well, Sunmi was great too, but she was barely there. Somi knows exactly how these trainees feel and relates to them as equals, even though she’s successful and they’re not there yet. I’m glad she’s here. I bet she made this easier for them.

Next we announce 20th place: It’s Woongki. 

His final speech is at 1:39:55 and it’s great. He says, “When I said that I would appear on Boys Planet, people told me that what I want is different from what I can do, that my time is up, and that I would learn to face reality. But I feel like that’s not true. Through Boys Planet, I was able to learn more about my potential as Cha Woongki. Woongki boy is just beginning. Thank you!” and then with a bright smile, he bows. Yeah, Woongki! 

Somi says, shaking a cue card in the air for emphasis, “Don’t give up on your dream!” And Woongki cheerfully says, “I won’t!” 

Finally, we announce 18th place, which means announcing 19th place at the same time. 

18th place turns out to be Na Kamden. Jay practically falls out of his chair in relief, and we see Z-bo’s face is lit up with happiness. Ollie gives him a congratulatory hug -- probably the whole English speaking crew got pretty close at the show. Other trainees gather to console Wang Zi Hao, who is taking it in stride, as he takes basically everything in life. 

Kamden says, “Honestly, when I wasn’t called before, I was organizing my thoughts and emptied myself of expectations.   But thank you so much for allowing me to stand on such a large stage as the final.” Then he adds in English, “Love you Mom!” and then in Korean says, “I made it to the final!” 

We check in with Wang Zi Hao. he says, in Chinese, “I was grateful to be able to experience these times together with everyone. I will treasure the fact that I was able to make good memories with you all at this starting point of my life. Thank you.” He’s such a sweetheart. Haruto mentioned that Wang Zi Hao joined Supercharger voluntarily in order to help Haruto -- isn’t that sweet. There’s often a G R E A T   A G E N C Y   R E S H U F F L I N G following a show like this, so I’m hoping that WZH ends up signing at another agency so we can see more of him in the future. 

Somi wishes the ten eliminated trainees the best, and we pan over them. Haruto seems to be having the worst time of it -- the rest saw it coming, at least. 

Here is the complete final ranking -- filling in the last few spots with some help from the internet. 

Sung Hanbin

Zhang Hao

Kim Jiwoong 

Kim Taerae

Han Yujin

Keita

Kim Gyubin

Ricky  

Seok Matthew

Hui

Park Hanbin

Park Gunwook

Jay

Yoo Seungeon

Yoon Jongwoo

Kum Junhyeon

Lee Jeonghyeon

Na Kamden

Wang Zihao

Cha Woongki

Hiroto

Haruto

Chen Kuan Jui

Lee Seunghwan

Seo Won

Ollie

Takuto

Zhang Shuai Bo

Sung Hanbin is 1,046,481 points* ahead of Hao, who is 816,760 points ahead of 3rd place. However, JiWoong, TaeRae, and Yujin are all within about 25,000 points of each other, making them virtually tied. Then there’s 432,355 points between Yujin and Keita, so that puts Keita down kind of a tier. Keita is only 51,928 points ahead of Gyuvin, making them almost tied. The next few ranks are all about 130k-150k apart from each other, like a stair case, but then there’s a big gap (311,148) between Matthew and Hui. But from Hui down to Na Kamden, they’re all pretty close together, like 6000-60,000 apart --  especially if you remember that Lee Jeonghyeon got that 200,000 point benefit. 

*I say points because they’re not straight up votes, due to the K/G weighting thing.

What I’m saying is that unless something drastic happens, I think that Sung Hanbin and Hao will be 1-2 on Friday; JiWoong, TaeRae, and Yujin all look like locks as well, and from Keita down to Matthew, things could easily move around, but it’s not looking super-duper likely that many people from Hui down to Kamden will end up in the top 9 -- unless Park Hanbin continues his meteoric rise and Matthew continues his sharp fall.  If you're curious, here's the ranking of the top 18 if only Korean votes decided things:

Sung Hanbin

Kim Tae Rae

Kim Gyu Vin

Han Yu Jin

Kim Ji Woong

Zhang Hao

Yoo Seung Eon

Na Kamden

Kum Jun Hyeon

Park Hanbin

Hui

Lee Jeong Hyeon

Ricky

Park Gunwook

Yoon Jong Woo

Seok Matthew

Keita

Jay

And here's the ranking if only Global votes decided things:

Keita

Zhang Hao

Sung Hanbin

Jay

Seok Matthew

Kim Ji Woong

Han Yu Jin

Ricky

Park Gunwook

Yoon Jong Woo

Kim Tae Rae

Hui

Kim Gyu Vin

Park Hanbin

Kum Jun Hyeon

Yoo Seung Eon

Lee Jeong Hyeon

Na Kamden

I'll let you draw your own conclusions from that.

So... the next phase is the one-pick vote. I could rant at length about how dumb the one-pick system is in terms of creating a sustainable group. Groups that are truly successful tend to have multiple members that are popular among fans. There’s a popular boy group that I personally like only 2 members of, so I really can’t consider myself a fan of that group. Meanwhile in Exo, I basically can’t pick a favorite because I really like almost all of them. So letting us vote for multiple members would tend to create a situation in which the group is all loved by all the fans.

The rest of the episode was the boys preparing for their next song, and I have to admit, I don’t much care about those two last songs. The performances happen AT the finale, once the audience has already voted, so there’s kind of no point to them.  

Here are the two groups for the two songs:

Hot Summer Sung Hanbin  Kim Taerae  Kim Ji Woong  Ricky  Lee Jeong Hyeon  Kim Gyuvin  Han Yujin  Keita  Yoon Jongwoo  

Jelly Pop Hui  Yoo Seung Eon  Zhang Hao  Park Gunwook  Kum Junhyeon  Park Hanbin  Jay  Na Kamden  Seok Matthew 

Who knows, maybe I’ll recap the rest later, but I wanted to get this posted. 

Hope you’re all doing well, and I hope that your one-pick makes it. 

[vermanaward]

actually this is extremely dumb but it annoys the hell out of me that there are no chocobos/ghysal green in thavnair. like. when we went to ishgard there were. so many fucking plotlines about the aforementioned. tailfeather as an area. the btn questline where an unhinged bishop puts ghysal greens on trial for heresy (no seriously). ishgard is The Chocobo Place, except... it's not. chocobos are from thavnair. the item you use to let your bo level up past 10 is a thavnairian onion. the reason that heresy trial took place as that it's in ishgardian scripture that chocobos were a gift from the Fury, and it's Unithinkable!!! to the numbskull in question that this could possibly be even the tiniest bit incorrect (if only because to call that into question is to implicitly call other things into question and yeah). and like. the chocobo theme shows up in the thavnair zone music (as well as the hippo gang's theme) but like. there is not a single 'bo to be seen. the only birds we see being ridden in thavnair are hamsa, which are fucking. reskinned dodos. hell, the hippo gang use hippos instead of idk horsebirds.

im just. yeah.

[oh-three]

Mando S3E3:

- "Can we leave now?" Mood. - She's not gonna tell him that she saw the Mythosaur? Okay... - that first hit came out of fucking nowhere, jesus - Damn, okay, that was some teamwork. - Oh, they didn't. You do not just go and bomb the Kryze castle. Wowwwww. - What's a convert - For a second I wondered if they seriously went to Coruscant, then it cut to Pershing (thank God). Someone tell that stupid droid to keep its head faced forward the whole ride - Oh god, they all have numbers for names. - I can't tell if Pershing is just nervous, or if he's still loyal to Gideon. Actually, I think he's just nervous. Huh. - These cubicles still remind me of where Karn worked in Andor. Just not as crowded together, and more square. - Do we get to see Din & Bo again?? - Ayyy, March of the Resistance Lmao. I want to say I can't believe they reused it for something else, but... - Coruscant having an actual surface never really occurred to me. Huh. - Someone tell me the woman's name, I like her ELIA KANE. - Ooh, Star Wars therapy. But, oof, who'd want to go to therapy with a droid as your therapist? It's kinda dehumanizing since they can't really understand the same way a sentient can. - These two idiots are gonna do something stupid, I can sense it. - Also, it's nice to see former Imperials as who they are. As just people. It's one thing Andor did amazing with showing, and I'm glad they're continuing that in Mando S3. - "Taungsdays, am I right?" "....We'll work on that." Lmao - Have fun getting back, guys. - "Just the ship settling." Traitor? - DAMN. - THAT WAS COLD. - This music does not fit the scene. This should NOT be funny 😂 - OKAY KANE, WHAT'RE YOU UP TO. - Finally. - He literally brought her to the covert. Curious choice there, Din. - Bo-Katan humiliating Din in from of the whole covert by telling them how she pulled him out of the Living Waters 😂 😂 - Huh, she accidentally joined the covert Lmao. That was unexpected.

[eggs-can-draw]

next up if your "Silly lil HPES class trial" idk why you haven't posted it The murder? SOMEONE pushed Kiibo off the play set and caused his arm to pop off (he’s fine he just needs to wait for Souda to get there and reattach it) When the kids find him at the scene of the crime they are instantly in INVESTIGATION MODE (Kirumi helps him get to the nurse’s office) They spend all recess investigating the crime (this is elementary school so I’m gonna assume 30~ minutes) Lunch after recess none of them are in the lunchroom. Where are they? Classroom, it’s fucking trial time (Also instead of Monokuma presiding over the case, it’s an old Monomi plushie Shuichi has in his backpack) The plush can’t talk, but the camera will awkwardly pop over to it sitting on The Throne Of The Gods (they stacked all their chairs together) waiting for witty commentary. To the kids the Monomi plush talks tho (Ofc) But YEAH they have the desks ordered in a circle and treat it very seriously. Kaede bumped into Kiibo when they were on the slide and thinks she did it. Also psyche taxi is those little tyke cars Kaede’s about to be convicted when none other than KIIBO HIMSELF BURSTS INTO THE ROOM Everyone is silent The music gets intense it’s that one song y'know the one dr3 was in love with overusing that one He explains his side of the story (still doesn’t know who does it but presents evidence that Kaede didn’t do it) And yah tldr they have a whole 4-hour trial (they barricaded the door to the classroom ) and find out it was Kokichi who did it. He was in a silly goofy mood. His punishment? Call home

Komaeda anon added: it'd be really funny if Kokichi wasn't in the trial room bc he went off to get like, motor oil as an apology. He doesn't know what robots drink, okay?

firedemongaming added: Plot twist, Kokichi is innocent (a random bird hit Kii-bo). Everyone was just so invested that Kokichi decided to take the blame for the fun of it

Komaeda anon added: he would do that, wait, wait it'd be really funny if Kiibo knew. Like, okay hear me out: Kiibo n Kokichi were playing, but Kokichi goes to get some drinks n gets delayed bc what do robots drink, Kiibo falls, a trial happens, by the time Kokichi comes back, he was like "hehe, it was ME! I SNUCK BACK!! I WAS GONE BC I WAS HIDING" (TOTALLY NOT BC I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ROBOTS CAN DRINK AND SPENT LIKE, HALF AN HOUR ASKING UNCLE SOUDA IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY IF KIIBO CAN DRINK

firedemongaming added: Hajime: 'why did you lie and take the blame?' Kokichi: 'because a trial is no fun If everyone is innocent' Hajime: 'we need to reevaluate your definition'

Komaeda anon added: Hajime years later: we did not get to reevaluate your definition

I’ve been meaning to make this one a little mini comic so uh teaser for the future lmao

[jacobb99]

I saw something strange at my local Astro-Mart pt. 3

Well despite my better judgment. I took the job at Astro-Mart, and its been pretty weird. So, one of you guys recommended I take a look at the security footage, and so the first time I got a chance to I did. And uh it was kinda weird but also underwhelming. So the footage for the day in question is mostly normal, you can even see the point where the Smorgasbeast was banging on the glass, but the second it would have entered the store, the video skips to what looks like a group of guys in hazmat gear cleaning up the store. Sadly I don’t think Antonio got out, they were cleaning up a very large puddle of blood where I saw him get bit by that thing.

Mostly the job is pretty boring, I clock in at eight and go check the store for anything amiss, you know knocked over shelves, misplaced products, mysterious spills on the floor. That kinda thing, other than that the job is pretty boring, just sitting at the register waiting for customers. Most of the time it’s the “Normal” people from around here coming in to buy snacks, there is also this old lady that comes in and buys almost $30 of scratch-off tickets and a pack of Newports every night at 4 am. I mean seriously who gets up at 4 am and thinks, oh boy time for a smoke! Other than that its pretty much just me in the store by myself, thankfully since I’m on the nightshift I’m allowed to listen to music and stuff, I also get a chair. Well its actually a stool, one of those folding black ones you can get at Wal-Mart for like $10, so its not exactly comfortable but its better than standing for my entire shift lol. But based on what kind of places have kept my story up and the comments I’ll get to the part you are actually interested in.

               I  had my first supernatural experience while working here on my Sunday shift, so it was about 2 AM I was playing Skullgirls Mobile (which is really good you should play it) on my phone, when the door opens and I am hit with this horrid smell, it smelled like a mixture of rotten fish, skunk, bad teenager BO, and that smell urine gets when you eat way too much asparagus. I look to the door, and squeezing his way in is this massive dude, probably about 7 ft. and very overweight he looked like one of the dudes from that “My 600 lbs. Life” show except he was covered in this greenish black hair all over his body that was maybe about a foot long. He walks in and he is eating what after I bit of research found out was probably a Burmese python, like it was drumstick. Anyway he manages to squeeze his way inside and makes his way over to the “Fresh Foods” section. He grabs a Klondike bar, he then shambles over to our coffee machine and makes himself a cup of coffee (2 creams, 2 sugars if you were interested) and brings it to the register. Now when he looked me in the eye I probably would have screamed if I hadn’t been putting all my willpower into not vomiting. But I was pretty freaked out cause he looked at me and smiled and he had teeth like a gorilla, with the superlong insisors (I think that’s the word). But I managed to hold my dinner long enough tell him that his total would be $2.92, the guy then reaches behind him and places three dollars and 50 cents on the counter (all of which were very clean I might add), and then he grabbed his purchases and walked out. Now, I have no real proof this guy was supernatural or anything, I mean this is Florida, people eat roadkill down here so and maybe he has some weird deformities or something. So uh yeah not sure what that was, I kinda hope he doesn’t come back because it smelled like him for the rest of the

Now as for the reason I’m posting today. I had an encounter with the “Tall Man” last night.

Ok so theres this big manual in the office right? And its got all kinds of stuff, like what pattern to clean the floor, when to dispose of hotdogs that have been on the roller (idfk what are in these dogs but they are supposed to stay on the roller for 3 months before I can throw them out, almost certain that’s a healthcode violation but according to the internet they technically be there indefinitely if at the right temp?) anyway so it got all these nice laminated pages, but taped on the inside front cover is a piece of paper that reads:

“The Tall Man

Every other Monday a Tall Russian man in a long coat will walk into the store, when he does tell him:

“Your order is in the back sir, please leave your payment up front”

He will place some money on the counter and then head into the freezer, DO NOT leave the register no matter what you hear until after he leaves the store.”

Well, he came in, and this guy way tall, if I had to guess probably 9 ft? He was hunching over to walk around and he was wearing a long gray military coat, after digging around I think It might be a soviet era military parade overcoat? Anyway he was wearing that, and black pants and boots. He walked up the counter and said in a deep, heavily accented voice:

“Has my orrrder arrrived?”

I responded with, “Your order is in the back s-sir, please leave your p-payment up front” because I was pretty freaked out by this point, plus this guy was intimidating as all get out. Anyway he says:

“Zank you, I vill go get it.” Then he sets what I think are rubles down on the counter and heads into the freezer. I do my best to sort through the crumpled up notes and put them in the register, and after a few minutes he walks back through the store carrying two huge boxes labeled “Meat” and walks out the door, he then steps off the sidewalk and vanishes into thin air.

Not sure what to think of that, and honestly I don’t feel as freaked out as I probably should be? Maybe its cause I knew what to expect going in? Not sure, right now I am uh, not sure how to describe it, its like my emotions are muffled? I guess? Not sure how else to describe the feeling?

Um I should answer some of the questions I’ve gotten shouldn’t I.

They pay me $20 an hour and I work from 8 pm to 5 am.

I haven’t seen or heard from Antonio.

Some people have been calling the Smorgasbeast a Caudate? Not sure what that means? All that comes up when I google that word is pictures of brains?

The Monoxide explanation doesn’t make sense, apparently I wasn’t in the store long enough to start hallucinating, and if there was enough to cause them that quickly I would probably be dead.

As to the removal of my post on r/nosleep, not sure what to do about that, the complaints where that I was “out of character” too much? How can I be out of character in a post about events occurring in my life? So I don’t think I will be posting there anymore. If you want more I would recommend wherever you are seeing this but also my tumblr and r/Horror_stories

I was sleeping a little better, but now that I work a nightshift my sleep schedule is all kinds of out of whack. As you could probably guess by what time of day I am posting this at.

I also have a subreddit of my own now r/AstroMartStories so uh yeah if you have any theories or ideas on whats going on head there I guess?

Anyway I want to thank you all so much, I went from being laughed off message boards and told I’m just making this stuff up, to finding some people actually willing to listen to me, it means a lot.

[xoxolifewithdoriann]

Spend the day with me mentally!

The random thought's that I have through the day... they time stamped and dated

Friday 04/19/24-Breakfast would've been great today... why didn't i stop because i def had time to grab me something from Bo. A good ole Cajun spicy chicken biscuit with grape and strawberry jelly. And those Bo Rounds !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whew yes with hot sauce and ketchup on them. Some apple juice and I would've been AMAZING lol. But I will survive to lunch. Orrrrr maybe go run and get me some on my 1st break... decisions decisions decisions..

Lunch... what do I want for lunch. If I eat anything it has to be a salad, but from where??? is the biggest question. am i feeling golden c today??? or do I want one of my small salads from wally, hmmm publix... naw I dont want to spend that lol BUGETTING

I don't want anything "bad" chickfila would be amazing but that's not an option when I am at work

so what will it be for lunch today? wait so does that mean I am not going to bo? .

Knocked that production time line together rather quickly, I am proud of myself. For doing it and for the fact I have a solid template of a production timeline

I am loving the backdrop today for work, it's a coffee shop out by the lake, and I am listening to Christian coffee shop music, which is helping me vibe out at work and do multiple things.

Thursday 04/25/24 - 8:30am currently at work | today God has really been speaking to me. I left work later than intended because I knew i needed to stop and get gas before heading to work. and I like a certain drive to work to help me prepare for the day. so when i noticed the time i was like okay we are going to be late today... and that's okay. so i got up got dressed as quickly as possible and got out the door. i got gas not too far from my house on my route that i take to work. i stopped got my gas and then proceeded to work. Y'ALL as i go tot he light for work i looked at the time and noticed that i was going to be right on time. Y'all I have to be to work at 8:00am, I clocked in at 7:59am. I didn't begin my commute to work until 7:3_(something) but my commute is ummmm, one roads and etc. so get behind someone slow and yea you can kiss that nice smooth easy flowing drive good bye for sure lol. but back to this, y'all when i turned on that street i just broke out into a praise because that was no one but God that made that happen for me. because he knew that i wanted to be on time today. that was the one thing i was looking to do was be on time 90% of this week ( i say 90 to give myself grace some mornings). So to make it on time with my route and being behind lots of peoples, and i wasn't speeding and i made it on time was nothing but GOD. {I Thank the Master, I Thank the Savior, I Thank GOD 🙌🏾}

that was him continuing to show me that this time is perfect in my life and his way is better in my life. no matter how much i think i am late in life (because i do tend to have moments of thoughts like that just to be honest) that he shows me NOPE Daughter you are absolutely on time! Stop thinking you are late, i am the Father of time. Time is controlled by me say's God when you accept that you can not rush, dictate or NOTHING that pertains to time and my perfect time you will walk these seasons much easier and smoother say's the Father. So a awesome Daddy to speak and give help and solution all while covering me.

The Message Bible Ecclesiastes 3:11

11 True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time - but he's left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he's coming or going.

The Message Bible Jeremiah 29:11

11 I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

The Message Bible Proverbs 16:19

9 We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. It Pays to Take Life Seriously

NOW! What to eat for lunch is the new golden question??????? I am seriously thinking about some Publix chicken, but then I also want a salad and I am on a super tight budget so not sure if this will be a both day lol just being real. So hmmmm let's really think about this in depth, because I have been wanting some fried chicken since the sunday that just passed. but sometimes the one by my job makes me angry so maybe after work. so salad for lunch it is, funny how the thing i need is the thing that won lol, i mean i wanted one but i wanted that chicken more lol.

but WAIT, i am going to walmart for my salad and they have good wings to me, thinking i may want to grab me about 3, hmmm what do we think about that?

also what am i doing with this hair??? I wanna try a twist out, so I think i will wash it tomorrow and then twist it sat at some point. I am ready for straight hair again, trying to hold out until i color it, because yep I am ready to color again, it's time for the change with the changing of season of life and feeling like NOW I am becoming ME, and emerging out the cocoon. So the hair must shift too lol, I need it. But in the mean time between time before that process happens what's the styles lol. its crazy how i really don't like doing my own hair anymore at all. i mean if i could have someone do it all the time i would be so happy.

one thing for sure, i am going to grab me a snack on this first break because ummm... the load is pilling up today and i need some energy. not sure who said i wanted to... never mind okay see y'all later.

xoxo doriann l johnson 💜💎🦋

[byneddiedingo]

Mads Mikkelsen in The Hunt (Thomas Vinterberg, 2012)

Cast: Mads Mikkelsen, Thomas Bo Larsen, Annika Wedderkopp, Lasse Fogelstrøm, Susse Wold, Anne Louise Hassing, Lars Ranthe, Alexandra Rapaport, Sebastian Bull, Bjarne Henriksen. Screenplay: Thomas Vinterberg, Tobias Lindholm. Cinematography: Charlotte Bruus Christensen. Production design: Torbin Stig Nielsen. Film editing: Janus Billeskov Jansen, Anne Østerud. Music: Nikolaj Egelund. 

Thomas Vinterberg and his co-screenwriter, Tobias Lindholm, load so much misery on the protagonist of The Hunt that they find themselves in a bind: How do you resolve a plot that inflicts so much suffering on an innocent man without resorting to either a saccharine happy ending or a depressingly cataclysmic one? When Lucas (Mads Mikkelsen), a man in his 40s who teaches in the kindergarten of a small Danish village, is accused by one of the children of exposing himself to her, his life goes to hell. He loses his job and his friends, including his girlfriend, and ruins his chances of a more favorable custody agreement with his ex-wife. And even after the authorities find that there is no evidence to substantiate the little girl's charge, he is still harassed by his neighbors and even denied service at the local grocery store. It's a superb part for Mikkelsen, but the film depends equally on the performances of Susse Wold as Grethe, the principal of the kindergarten; Thomas Bo Larsen as Theo, the father of the little girl; Lasse Fogelstrøm as Lucas's teenage son, Marcus; and especially the very young Annika Wedderkopp as Klara, Lucas's accuser. The suspicions directed at Lucas gain credibility from the fact that he's an anomaly in the somewhat macho culture of the village: Well into middle age, he is the only male teacher in the kindergarten -- it was apparently the only available teaching job after the school he once taught at closed. Klara is drawn to him as a kind of father figure: Her parents spend much time fighting with each other. Somewhat withdrawn, she has a childish ritual of never stepping on the lines in the sidewalk, and she gets lost because she looks at her feet and not where she's going. Lucas finds her one day and gets her home safely, and promises her that she can come to his house and play with his dog, Fanny. But Klara develops a kind of crush on Lucas, and when she gives him a present and tries to kiss him on the lips, he is forced to establish some limits. Hurt by the rejection, Klara tells the principal that she doesn't like Lucas because he's a man and has a penis. The principal unfortunately takes her remark too seriously and pursues the matter, whereupon Klara remembers a pornographic image that her older brother had shown her on his phone and describes it as if it were Lucas's penis. The principal's amateurish investigation feeds parental hysteria which ultimately provokes other children to come forward to accuse Lucas. The film recalls the widespread incidents of sexual abuse accusations that took place particularly in the 1980s, as in the notorious McMartin preschool case in Los Angeles. Fortunately, Vinterberg and Lindholm keep the larger issues in the background as they concentrate on its effect on Lucas, his family, and his friends. The end of the film is, however, something of a muddle: Lucas's life has returned to normal, as far as we can see, as he celebrates Marcus's coming of age by letting the boy join a deer hunt. Only in the concluding sequence do we get a suggestion that the incident will never be fully resolved.