#blitz did stab her at least 4 times

[superanimepirate]

Pretty sure this confirms Nifty was murdered in some way and now I really want her backstory

[showtoonzfan]

Oh god this is Salt-bug, I deleted my account cause I didn’t want anything to do with Vivziepop at all cause it’s been keeping me down but man I can’t help it when there’s a new Helluva…from what I’m hearing about it, I can tell Viv was the writer. Doesn’t sound as awful as Adam’s episodes but still bland, with out of place moments and fanfic drama that probs won’t be addressed til another year or two…I just have a few things I wanna say.

1. Bet that Stolas is gonna be all better the next time we see him with no physical injuries, bringing the status quo back immediately. Or if anything, he’ll just have an arm sling and acting the same woe is me horny rich man.

2. I have a feeling the texts about Ozzie’s was a last minute add-in just so critics and fans will shut up about it not being addressed in Seeing Stars, but it just made it worse cause it was blink and you’ll miss it but what did we expect from writers that think addressing plot points and details through Twitter or Patreon only Q&As will solve all their writing problems…

3. Why is MOXXIE the one stabbing and actively fighting those guys, wasn’t the point of M&M’s dynamic that Moxxie was ranged combat while Millie’s close range? I even complimented the parallel of Moxxie’s lack of scars and clothing tears and Millie’s abundance of them in their designs cause of that, if they wanna give Millie moments outside of being a badass assassin then make it in character. I can’t imagine how their character notes or lack there of read…

4. I didn’t think I’d hate Andrealphus as much I did before but he sounds too…no when it comes to Stella. Judging by fanart Viv liked of Andrealphus insulting Stella, she’s most likely to become the fifth character in this show with familial abuse, will she be humanized thanks to it? Doubt it cause she hates Viv’s golden child Stolas.

Hey Salt-Bug! Glad to here from you. Yeah, you’re pretty much right about the episode, it’s nowhere near as bad as the previous two, it’s clear that both Viv and Adam can’t write for shit, but I honestly have to admit that Adam is worse than Viv if you compare them. Adam’s episodes are the ones that piss me off, where as Vivzie’s are so underwhelming, feel like no effort was put into them, and more importantly feel empty, cause whenever Viv is the lead on an episode, I always feel like I sat through nothing, because most of her writing isn’t satisfying or leads to something big for how much she hypes her stuff up. Like…when I first saw Ozzie’s, I felt the same way I felt when I saw Western Energy, because shit barely happens. Western Energy’s core focus was Stolas being tortured for a bit, and everything else around it was pointless fluff and filler, and Ozzie’s core focus was the House of Asmodeous song, everything else also being pointless filler or fluff. Like..it’s so obvious that Viv comes up with core episode ideas, but has to find a way to write AROUND it and that’s where she’s not good at it.

I agree with your thoughts here, my prediction is that as much as I hate to say it, the Barbie episode will probably be next, with the show taking a break from Stolas and the drama, to go to Blitz. While Stolas is in the hospital, judging by the trailer it seems it’ll be a Moxxie focused episode, until he comes across across Barbie, and it turns into a Blitz episode I guess. I have the heavy feeling it’ll be exactly like Spring Broken where Barbie and Blitz just throw insults at each other until we realize that she was genuinely hurt by him and then tease her for a future episode, especially if you’ve seen the episode leak where that ghost dude is taunting Blitz for how he treated her. No doubt the show will go back to the status quo, wether Stolas is in the hospital or not.

As for Stella? I don’t think we need to be worried about her and Andre, for now at least. If you’ve seen the finale leak, they seemed to be just fine, laughing together on the couch. I guess their goal is just to make Stolas poor? Like..strip his power away I guess. I have no idea. I also have no idea wether they want to make Stella sympathetic or not, but again, judging by the leak, I don’t think they’re going to do much with her this season, which is a bummer. Other than that, hope you’re doing well Salt-Bug!

[vizowrites]

That’s One Hell of a Resume

{Set during the Harvest Moon Festival competitions}

~*~

To  Blitzø’s great surprise, the Harvest Moon Festival was actually turning out to not be a fuck fest invite after all.

He honestly hadn’t been sure when the games initially kicked off.  The horde of imps that had come to compete for the title of “the roughest, toughest, bastard in Wrath” had a proclivity for violence that could easily--and not inaccurately--be described as a passion.  Then of course there was Stolas, watching him thirstily from atop his fancy seat underneath his fancy tent, cooing and cheering out “Blitzyyyyy!!'' at every opportunity he got to speak.  Yet the honored owl prince somehow still managed to keep his pants on throughout each and every event--and even more impressively managed to keep his degrading sweet talk void of any sexual obscenities.  He hadn’t even been able to manage that much on a day trip to a theme park with his daughter.  Yet somehow...this wasn’t even the best part of the festival to  Blitzø.  It was up there to be sure, but it wasn’t the toppiest top.  The “dom of the disco”**, if you will.  

No, the BEST part of the festival--and the thing that kept the imp grinning from ear to ear throughout the entire competition--was that this honkytonk battle royale was shaping up to be the perfect opportunity to show off and be recognized for just how much of a boss-ass bitch Blitz actually was: 2nd to absolutely fucking none.

Well...maybe with ONE slight exception.

“I gotta say, you just keep on impressin’ me every chance you get,” that one slight exception said with a smirk, the tip of his tail flicking forward into a small curl.  “No wonder your killin’ biz is so successful.  You do every kill single-handed there, Boss Man?” The two were standing off on the sidelines together during one of the many interims inbetween contests, where the first round winners had already secured their victories and now were stuck watching the remaining shitty losers battle it out to find out which of them would end up being the absolute shittiest loser.  It was taking a stupidly long-ass time, a hell of a lot longer than  Blitzø would’ve normally had the patience for, but with his present company leaning up against the bleacher stands like that.....there were definitely worse ways he could be spending his down time right now.

“Nah,” he answered with a small flick of his wrist, gesturing vaguely in the general direction of where he’d last seen Moxxie getting his ass kicked and Millie sitting in the stands watching it happen.  “I know he’s not doing a great job of showing it right now--” he said just as Moxxie got elbow dropped by a shark “--but Moxxie’s not completely useless.  He did get me shot on a job once while he was in the middle of being a little bitch, but as soon as he finally found his balls again, he got things back under control pretty fast.  And Millie’s just a straight up badass.  If her parents had allowed her to play in the games, you’d have gotten your ass handed to you three rounds ago.”

“That so?” Striker’s lips drew back into a slight smirk, just enough for the light to catch on the very tip of his fanged gold tooth.  “Because I seem to remember a certain someone else bein’ the one to get themselves all roped up in a hogtie about three rounds ago.”  

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but it sounds like complete bullshit.”

“That’s kinda what I was thinkin’ myself to be honest after that first relay run--” Those snake-like eyes raked in every inch of Blitz’s annoyed face, feeling the corners of his own pleasantly sting as his grin spread even wider. “Right up ‘til I saw some o’that nice red color risin’ up in their face--”

“IT’S HOT--THERE ARE FUCKING VOLCANOES NEARBY OKAY!!” Blitz realized, very quickly, just how loud and defensive those words sounded, but he also realized just as quickly that there wasn’t anything he could do to take them back now.  Instead, he straightened himself up, cleared his throat, pretended that there wasn’t some of ‘that nice red color’ in his face now, and said in what he thought was a much more nonchalant voice, “Anyway, I’m starving, and since these last few dipshits are taking forever to get their asses kicked, I’m gonna go find something deep-fried to shove down my throat.  Catch you at the awards ceremony or whatever the fuck they do around here to finish themselves off.”

The I.M.P. Head made it a grand total of two steps before the unmistakable crunch of boots sounded behind him, followed by a faint scoff of a laugh and the distinct rattling of a tail as Striker joined him at his side.  

“There’s a whole row of food stands back there behind the stage,” he said with a nod, meeting  Blitzø’s stride and starting to veer them off in that direction.  “And now that you mention it, I wouldn’t mind grabbin’ a bite.  Besides--I feel like I might owe you one for bringin’ up such a tender subject.”

The unrepentant but non-malicious smirk he sent Blitz’s way wasn’t at all softened by the wink that accompanied it, but it somehow brought a slight smile to the smaller imp’s lips all the same.

“You got fucking lucky and that was it,” Blitz insisted with a sharp flick of his tail, not having the faintest fucking clue why he was smiling about this in the first place but subconscioiusly hoping that swatting at Striker would be distracting enough that the taller imp wouldn’t notice.  “And besides, I could’ve gotten out of it if I had really wanted to.”

“Oh, so you wanted to be all tied up like that?”  The grin that spread across Striker’s face was even wider than the first, his razor sharp teeth now on full display. “Well now, if that’s what you were wantin’ you could’ve just asked.  I’d’ve been happy to oblige right from the start.” 

“Ha! Like I’d ever make it that easy for you,”  Blitzø retorted with a challenging grin, his eyes dancing with a truly impish gleam of delight as he and Striker rounded the stage together, his earlier thoughts of the food shacks that waited beyond almost entirely forgotten as they were overtaken by memories of their constant back-and-forth scuffle throughout the festival. “You beating me fair and square is one thing--even though you still totally just got really fucking lucky and also it definitely never even happened in the first place.  But if you were actually going to beat me...you better believe it’s not gonna happen without a fight.  I don’t just bow out like some sloppy bitch who can’t figure out where they put their car keys and has to take the walk of shame back to their shitty apartment at 4 in the morning.  If you wanna come out on top over me, you better fucking work for it.”  

The black tip of his pointed tail flicked up to poke Striker once in the center of his chest, punctuating the word ‘work’ perfectly. 

Striker’s tail, on the other hand, began to rattle.

“Yeah?” he said, his earlier easy tone starting to become weighted with something softer, but deeper.  Neither he nor  Blitzø made any indication that they were aware that he was guiding them both right on past the front of the stand that they had originally been headed toward, and instead had them disappearing into the shadows behind it. “You’re okay with not coming out on top so long as whoever does earns their place there?”

“I mean...”  Blitzø trailed off a bit as he casually leaned up against the back of the stand, folding his arms over his chest as he eyed Striker with that lingering gleam in his own gaze. “You have been able to keep up with me in all the other games...so I guess it might be possible for you to get the upper hand on me for at least one of them.”  

“Just me?”  The rattling sound intensified. 

“Well there sure as fuck wasn’t anyone else who was able to keep up,”  Blitzø rolled his eyes in annoyed exasperation at just how much everyone else truly sucked in comparison to the two of them, before he slowly looked back up at Striker--and realized that the snake-like imp was suddenly a lot closer than he’d been before.  Much closer.  

“...Striker?”

“Yeah, Blitz?”

“Please tell me we’re not actually talking about the fucking games anymore.”

A short, soft laugh was the initial answer, followed by that still rattling tail coiling around Blitz’s slender waist as Striker propped himself up on one arm against the structure behind them, his hand splayed just to the side of the crimson imp’s right cheek.  

“I haven’t been talkin’ about the games since you got me with your tail, Darlin’,” he whispered, his hooded eyes narrowing to glowing slits of pale gold as he leaned in almost close enough to touch.  “But I don’t know if there ain’t somethin’ to be said about that “fuckin’” part yet...”

Blitz’s words came back to him then, ringing in his head as clear as when he first said them: 

“...Well if you promise this isn’t some fuck fest invite...”

“.....You gonna work for it, Cowboy?” 

“Yessir, Boss Man.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So...lemme get this straight--”  Blitzø finally shifted his weight, easing it off of Striker and rolling to rest his back on whatever podunk concession stand they’d spent the last ten minutes fucking up against.  “--You tie me for first place in the games, you ride around on the most majestic fucking horse I’ve ever seen, you take down a hell hog with a single stab while completely and mercilessly humiliating one of my employees in front of his in-laws at the same fucking time, and you called me “Sir” when we first met?  AND you’re a great fuck??”

The quirked eyebrow and smug gold-toothed grin he got in reply said more than words ever could, especially when accompanied by the satisfied rattling of that long, spiked tail.

“That’s one hell of a resume you’ve got there.”  Blitzø didn’t even realize his own face had split into a grin until he saw it reflected in Striker’s eyes, hypnotized by the sheer reckless abandon he felt ignited between them.  “Want to join I.M.P.?”  

Striker couldn’t help but laugh, reaching up to adjust the brim of his hat from where Blitz’s tail had nearly knocked it off, his unwavering gaze sparking into an infernal glow.

“Tell you what,” he said, his tone a warm rumble of amusement meeting temptation.  “You and I head on back to the stage, revel in our well-deserved glory, and--once we’re satisfied it’s been rubbed into the faces of those sorry ass losers enough--I’ll head on back up to the farm and have a little talk with Miss Mildred’s folks about finishin’ things up around here for the season.  Maybe see if they can find another set of hands to join ‘em for the next one if mine are gonna be occupied with--” His hand found its way down to Blito’s face, the sharp claw-like nail of his thumb pressing under the shorter imp’s chin to tilt it up towards his own. “--other things.”

“Believe me, Cowboy,”  Blitzø’s eyes were burning, twin embers of eagerness that ran so deep he could feel the heat of it vibrating through to his very core--and his vocal chords.  “You’re not going to find a more hands-on job than the one you’re gonna get if you come and work for me.  ESPECIALLY in that order.” 

Striker’s tail snaked its way up and along past Blitz’s hip, the pointed tip flicking over his chest as it’s rattle joined in the chorus of that deep, heated purring.  

“Don’t mind if I hold you to that, Sir.”

“Oh fuck me--”

And Striker did. Again.

~*~

Random Notes: 

**My counterpart to the phrase “the belle of the ball”--”the dom of the disco”.  I think I’m way funnier than I actually am. :D

ANYWAY tho I really hope y’all like it!!  This is the first fanfic I’ve posted anywhere publicly in a hot minute so I hope it’s not a bad kickoff to something I’m hoping to really get back into!!  I have plans to post the full fic of this--with the non-censored sex scene to my AO3 oohlala--so if that’s something you’d like to see, feel free to lemme know here and I can get right on that!!  Otherwise have a great day, thanks for reading, and if anyone wants to hit me up for some lovely BlitzStrike talks, I’m always open to messages!!

Thanks again Lovelies!! <3

[doubleddenden]

Finished Platinum again and this was the gang this go around. It's a challenge considering there's only so many fire types and they're ALL better than Rapidash, and Golduck just goes through hell as a Psyduck, Togekiss is so baby for a long time, and Pachirisu is useful in the beginning and middle but its uses sort of peter out by the end.

Torterra- Raphael. Starter. Always reliable until an ice type shows up. Good wall to heal, unleashes hell with Earthquake that was gained SO early in the game. 8/10 a reliable friend I'd nap on

Golduck- DarkWing. Earliest caught. As a Psyduck its lifebwas hell, but it came in clutch for the important battles. When it evolved it became much more reliable and practically carried my team through the E4. He took down Bertha's team and Cynthia's Spiritomb and Garchomp. What a lad. Not to mention Cloud Nine saved my ass so much from Hail, Sandstorms, and even the negative effects of Sunny Day.

Rapidash- Mystery. Was good in the beginning, then sucked a bit, good again, sucked until it evolved in which it was good until Victory Road. If I just had the patience to level her up enough to get Flare Blitz. But surprisingly her aim with Fire Blast is spot on. I imagine my trainersona definitely road her across the Sinnoh countryside a bit. Rapidash's only issue is that of the maybe 6 other fire types besides this line, Rapidash is the least useful. But she did her job and can rest easy now.

Pachirisu- Sandy. I am amazed how much use I got from her. Bulky enough to tank hits, Super Fang takes at least a guaranteed half of the opponent's health... if only she could have landed ONE thunder against Togekiss. But she's so useful. Saved my team against Cyrus and the Elite 4. She's definitely my shoulder buddy.

Togekiss- Gabe. What a good boy. What a lad. Went from baby to your daughter calls me Daddy too. Could hardly fight as a Togepi, got a little better as Togetic, and just absolutely and literally came out of its shell as Togekiss. Beefy enough to tank hits, Aura Sphere hits like a truck, and STAB HYPER BEAM saved my ass in Gym 7, Gym 8, and Lucian's final pokemon each.

Toxicroak- Brispahh. This guy has been a crafty bastard since day 1. Took 15 Safari Balls to catch. Dry Skin was SOOOO much more useful than I ever could have guessed. Took out a GYRADOS in its first gym match and broke Wake because he kept using Water moves to heal Brispahh. He also learned EQ and wrecked Byron and Volkner. Hell even Cynthia fell for Dry Skin. Milotic kept healing him and allowed me to heal my other guys, and even then he took out her Milotic AND Lucario. So crafty. Love this strange man. He's always an MVP in my gym fights. The Elite 4 did him so dirty up until Cynthia.

Anyways that's another successful run. I'm saving Empoleon for the eventual remakes, and then I'm thinking Drifblim, Drapion, Flareon, and possibly Mamoswine and at least 1 surprise that comes with remakes.

[truecrimesposts]

Blueprint for Murder

Kemi Adeyoola

On June 28 2006, 18-year-old Kemi Adeyoola, daughter of a multi millionaire, was sentenced to the murder of an elderly woman after an incriminating 'blueprint' was discovered. The blueprint was written during her stint in a young offenders institution. The plan? A truly 'fiendish' crime, brutally stabbing 84 year old Anne Mendel 14 times. She was convicted at the Old Bailey yesterday and sentenced today to a recommended minimum of a least 20 years behind bars.

No one could understand why this twisted teen targeted elderly Anne Mendel, they were neighbours for a short time in North London. On first meeting Anne Mendel the first thing that you'd notice would be her size, at around 7 stone and barely 4 foot 10 she was a small woman who had spent her whole life helping others.

Kemi Adeyoola was her complete opposite. She was working at the time as a £500 a night prostitute and had served time for shoplifting. The 'blueprint for murder' that she was later found to have written while she was in a young offenders' institution was over 18 pages long, and detailed her plan to make £3 million by killing a 'wealthy, quite elderly and defenceless' victim.

The blueprint was actually discovered in her cell while she was still in the institution, but all that was done to protect te outside world was the creation of a council monitoring team to supervise her for three months after her release. But unfortunately psychiatrists decided that Kemi wasn't a risk to the public and tragically less than a month after the supervision ended, Anne Mendel was dead.

81 year old Leonard Mendel, Anne's husband, found Anne Mendel wearing blood soaked pyjamas and pink dressing gown, with a pile of clothes thrown on top of her.

Kemi who is the daughter of a property tycoon worth around £10 million, faces a life sentence. After this verdict those closely following the case stated that they believed that she was 'born to kill' and that she was a 'supremely arrogant phschopath with a total disregard for humanity'.

Kemi has since been disowned by her father Bola Adeyoola, he stated:

'Nobody is born evil but what she did was evil. She is no longer my daughter. I will never see her again, and don't want her anywhere near me. I regret the day I ever met her mother. When I saw Mrs Mendel's picture I started crying. As a Christian, I can't believe anyone would do that.'

Mr Adeyoola, a 49 year old former boxer who lived in a £2 million Berkshire home with his latest wife, had previously given his daughter free accommodation in the home as well as a £140 a week job.

Discussing this he said, 'She was staying with me until a month before the murder, when I found out she had been shoplifting. I do wonder wether this woman would still be alive if I hadn't kicked her out. At first I couldn't accept that somebody with my blood in her veins could do this to anyone - but then I saw the evidence. She should rot in hell.'

His marriage to Kemi's mother Mercuria lasted barely 4 years, and he had very little contact during the upbringing of his three children. Mercuria also has a fourth child from a different relationship.

She and her children moved to a succession of homes in places including Cheltenham and Peterborough, frequently alienating neighbours. While staying in one specific property in Gloucestershire, Kemi reportedly killed the goldfish in a neighbour's pond and blamed it on a cat.

The teenage killer briefly boarded at £23,000-a-year Wycliffe College. The independent school at Stonehouse in the Cotswolds prides itself on its academic and sporting achievements, but Kemi only lasted a few months because of a row over who was paying her fees.

The family then moved to Elmcroft Road in Golders Green for several months, living next to Mr and Mrs Mendel.

The elderly couple had been married for 50 years and lived a quiet, rewarding life. They had two children, and 14 grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Their son Yitzhak appealed for help after his mother's murder said 'My mother spent every day of her week performing good deeds and charity work. She devoted her whole life to visiting the sick, helping friends and neighbours and bringing a smile to everyone she knew - even complete strangers.'

In her youth Anne Mendel had worked as a hospital secretary and joined the Army during the Second World War, helping to track German bombers blitzing the East End of London.

While living beside Anne Mendel, Kemi locked herself out of her home and was quickly allowed into Anne's home. Anne Mendel did this despite the fact that neighbours reported Kemi subjecting residents nearby to a 'reign of terror'. Reportedly abusing young children, harassing neighbours due to their race and even smearing excrement on windows.

A resident who wanted to remain anonymous stated, "She gave a lot of trouble to one particular family. Once she lay in wait for the man, an Asian, behind a bush and punched him in the face, breaking his nose. She called his wife a "Paki lover". He said she tried to poison his dog as well.' Kemi was later arrested for this.

Other neighbours recall Mr Adeyoola sometimes turning up in his Rolls Royce to see his children, but the visits were brief and infrequent.

Kemi pretty much ignored her and by the time that she was 15 she had already fallen into bad habits. She was stealing frequently from high Street stores. She told the jury when in court that it was a skill and explained how she became adept at changing receipts to get refunds for these stolen goods.

However her arrogance outweighed her skill it seems, as after a string of convictions found herself finally facing a custodial sentence.

Her self-obsession continued and she reportedly talked to one of her siblings bragging about her acting talents when she was questioned by a youth worker. She said that she wept, mumbled and arched her back in an attempt to convince her of her 'innocence and vulnerability' to try and get herself a shorter sentence.

'It worked such a treat I could tell she was touched,' she wrote. 'I felt she sensed my anguish.'

However, her arrogance once again got in her way and she ended up at Bulwood Hall young offenders' institute in Essex for 3 months.

This young offenders institute is where she would craft her devious plan.

Her blueprint was discovered during a routine cell search, it was titled Prison and After - Making Life Again and included a shopping list and logged in detail her plan to kill dismember and dispose of a victim in pursuit of £3 million. The shopping list consisted of sharp knives or butchers knives, guns, drugs and handcuffs.

She imagined several different scenarios including stalking an elderly woman in a wealthy area, posing as a student carrying out a questionnaire.

'Run lightly and silently behind her and cover her mouth with a gloved hand,' she wrote. 'Make her so scared she co-operates. Keep calm, composed and silent. She must co-operate or take a knife to her throat. Tell her, "This is your only warning... With your butcher's knife, remove her head. Wrap it in film to contain bleeding, detach limbs one by one.'

When these writings were discovered she told her psychiatrists and prison staff that her notes were part of the draft of a novel. And incredibly, they believed her. The psychiatric assessment carried out after the document was discovered claimed that it 'did not indicate any concern that Miss Adeyoola would be pre-disposed in any way to this type of violence - nor was there any evidence of this type of violence in her past'. It described her as a 'highly intelligent and sophisticated young person . . . who with good support should make a good recovery and engage in her A level studies.' Kemi told a psychiatrist that she had accused 4 grade A GCSE's which they believed and said they felt it was a shame that she had been arrested.

However after her release in November 2004,1 education wasn't even on her radar. She moved into a flat with another teenager, telling the court that her job as an 'escort' easily paid for her £800 a month flat. She claimed that 'It is a completely legitimate and professional business. We earned up to £5,000 a week.'

In March 2005 her first month without any supervision at an end, Kemi turned her words into action.

Mr Mendel left the home for just an hour to pick up the plane tickets for their upcoming trip to Israel, and within this hour, Anne Mendel was dead. Kemi attacked the elderly woman in her home, inflicting deep wounds to the victims torso, right arm and blade with a blade that was proven to be at least 1 inch wide and 5 inches long.

A spokesman for the Barnet Youth Offending Team said: 'There was nothing in the file that would have predicted homicide. The psychiatric report did not predict any likely occurrence of this.'

Kemi appeared at her trial dressed in a pinstriped suit pink trainers and spangly belt, and she reportedly seemed completely unmoved by her crime. She was smiling and actually exchanging text messages during court recesses.

She lied to the police over the nature of the DNA evidence that had been found on Anne's body, claiming that she had actually visited the pensioner the day before the murder and that the elderly woman has scratched her hand as she helped her across the road.

Kemi then used a 16 year old girl, who can't be named, to try and construct herself an alibi for her brutal crime.

Detective Chief Inspector Steve Morris called her 'a callous and devious young woman', adding: 'Her cold, calculated use of extreme violence beggars belief.'

The police investigating the case believe that Kemi never intended to stop there. In fact, they believe that Anne Mendel may simply have been a 'dry run' before targeting a wealthier victim. Detective Sergeant Paul Belsham said: 'If she had got away with this then God knows what she might have done. She is very very dangerous.'

Mr Mendel, who has moved to Israel to live with his daughter, described his wife as someone 'whose life was taken up with kindness and giving up of herself to others The unjust end she met, having so much taken away in such an undeserving manner, left us in total shock.'

[askzelandpen]

((Part 4)) (Sorry I posted these 2 parts so close together)

Soon after martian leaves, another Irken appeared they seem rather ticked off 

“What the hell is with all that commotion!? You think this is...oh right...you  don’t think you just do....” He looks at the blood on the floor then back at them “did you attack another patrolling guard? How many times do I have to tell them to stay away from the lab those airheads are so stupid!” 

He pauses and stares at them “Anyway I have a new mission for you because I am too lazy to do it and what else am I going to do with you if you keep stabbing guards!” They sounded rather annoyed before continuing “You see a little someone may have found an old traitor one who was thought to return and try and control the tallest but ended up not doing that...anyway, the little someone teamed up with 2 traitors and they know a fuck ton of information....so I need you to kill him..” They throw a device over to the strange Irken “use that to track Ashzel...shouldn’t be too hard and kill the other Irkens on there as well if you see them! oh and kill anyone that gets your way. Now go fulfill your objective” As soon as he was finished the strange Irken leaves. He begins thinking to himself “oh wait Tallest Blitz said capture, not kill....oh well... I talk to myself too much...”

The female Irken was watching this through a screen this was concerning as she knew the device was made to track the datapad the very datapad Lunar and Tnier had. She would have to message them after she got martian help, hoping that she could even get him back in time to save him.

Martian finally made it on board, she didn’t even wait for him to say anything she just took off.

“Martian” she notes “please listen to me next time I know your new to all this but this is a very serious ordeal.”

“I’m sorry”

“don’t apologize! I need you to hold your wounds while I set the ship to autopilot the least I could do is help you close them... I’m going to make it in time”

“Hey, Nora... Can you promise if I don’t make it....and you are able to save him...that you never tell him..... about him attacking me....or that i survived the attack... I don’t want him to feel guilty”

“I promise...now please I need you to sit back....” Nora had no idea whether Martian would even make it back alive, but she was going to try her best.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

Tunstell has been poisoned! So Alexia and LeFoux tell him to puke.  Ivy gets really offended that they asked him to puke.  Like it was actually kinda shocking how nasty Ivy gets about this. Ivy insults Alexia, and laughs condescendingly while saying it’s just regular old food poisoning.  Like that’s pretty fucking cold Ivy damn.

I know this is supposed to be a comedy of ~manners~ this hubbub is because it’s gross and ~untoward.~  But a secret part of me wants to believe that Ivy is pissed at Tunstell for giving her feels and wants him to suffer.  

Also I love how Alexia and LeFoux just TELL him to puke, and when Tunstell is like…what? How? They’re like you’re an actor just puke wtf do we have to explain everything to you?????? But eventually they concede, he takes some ipecac, barfs, and doesn’t die.  Ivy was fluttering around him all a tizzy over this incident.  A part of me is like, why didn’t they just leave Ivy and Tunstell alone here to sort out some shit?  But I mean, Ivy seems salty enough to allow him to be in horrible pain. If they weren’t careful she was going to pull a fake eggplant off of her ugly hat and suffocate him with it.

LeFoux gets fed up with all of Ivy’s tittering so she gives her a bit of Cognac.  She takes what are described as two nips. So I was picturing itty-bitty sips, and Ivy immediately becomes blitz out of her fucking mind. I’m not exaggerating, 2 sentences after the nips, she’s staggering in zig-zags. She bumps into doors, spills drinks, and giggles like a mad woman.  I haven’t had cognac before but like….REALLY?  To me, they might as well have written, “Ivy was within 15 feet of an alcoholic beverage, so she’s sloshed.  She starts laugh-crying while singing Danny Boy incoherently and trying to give Tunstell a handy under the table…but it wasn’t Tunstell it was just an empty chair.  Which was actually lucky for Tunstell cause at this point she couldn’t do more than just play bloody knuckles with his nut-sack anyway.”

But anyway Ivy and Tunstell retire to their rooms and Alexia and LeFoux go to have a chat on the deck. Alexia is like, “Why would anybody want to poison Tunstell it makes no sense!”  To which LeFoux, with more patience than I could ever muster, points out Tunstell ate HER meal.  Alexia has a moment before she’s like, “Oh yeah, people are always trying to kill me.” LeFoux is a bit flummoxed that Alexia seems pretty chill and incurious about almost being murdered.  Alexia continues this track of being an intellectual giant by asking LeFoux if she’s a spy or assassin out to get her.

She, of course denies it, by saying she could have easily killed her earlier cause gosh what a badass she is.  But like what the hell Alexia!? All you did was alert LeFoux to your distrust of her. What were you hoping is going to happen by asking that question? Denying it is hardly going to prove one way or the other, were you hoping you’d get,

“Yes! KER-STAB! U DEAD!”

Yet it’s almost as if her wish came true because a mysterious figure shoves Alexia off the deck, to meet her doom splattered on the English Countryside.

NO this isn’t where the chapter ends. Here we are 4 pages in and we have a much better cliff-hanger than TUNSTELL DUN BE POISONED!

Unluckily for us Alexia’s descent is cut short because a random protuberance on the dirigible catches her dress and she hangs on for dear life while LeFoux fights for hers against the mysterious shoving assassin.  

But just as you were getting caught up in the action, a port-hole opens near Alexia to reveal the still hammered Ivy.  We have a very appropriate bit of comic relief where Ivy slurs out how extra it is of Alexia to be climbing around on the outside of the dirigible.  Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past her.  But eventually LeFoux scares off the attacker and they rescue her.  The attacker was wearing a mask so we CAN’T SAY who it could possibly be.  I bet it’s Angelique.

However LeFoux goes back to Alexia’s room with her, and Alexia sees she got a scratch on her neck from the fight.  So she takes off LeFoux’s cravat and cleans it up.  It’s very intimate.

Gotta be honest, I am so here for the lesbian flirting.  I think fewer people should be flirting with Alexia, but I hardly care at this point. I’m happy that this book isn’t afraid to throw a masc-presenting lesbian love interest.  I mean, this is perhaps quite a low bar since modern romance novels don’t tend to be homophobic, but I appreciate a stronger inclusion regardless.

But as she’s doing so she spies a tattoo on her neck of that OCTOPUS SYMBOL!  YANNO THE HYPOCRAS CLUB THAT TRIED TO KILL HER, HER HUSBAND, AND THE TOKEN GAY MAN LAST BOOK! OH NO!  But Alexia pretends she didn’t see it.  She asks LeFoux why she’s following her around.  LeFoux is all like, “Oh GOSH I WISH I COULD TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT! I AM MYSTERIOUS!” I really hate this cop-out, and I particularly hate this one cause I can already taste it now…the reason she can’t tell Alexia is for a really dumb reason that would cause 0 damage if she told her right now. (Also going back and editing this after I finished the book, I was right. SHOCK!)  It’s also kinda infuriating cause Alexia (rightly so for once) is like, “Just tell me!”  To which LeFoux rolls her eyes and is like, “Oh you soulless are always so annoyingly logical.”

HEY LISTEN GIRL, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER ALL THE TIME, IT’S NOT FUCKING ~DISPASSIONATE~ OF HER TO BE DISTRUSTFUL FOR CHRISTS SAKES! UGH!

In order to appease Alexia’s outrageous line of questioning, LeFoux barfs out some totally unrelated backstory. She was an illegitimate child from a slutty dude who died soon after she was born.  She was raised by her aunt. As a child she met a man who used to be gay lovers with her dad. TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM MAN IS ALEXIA’S FATHER! WOW!  What does that have to do with her following Alexia around like a dog trying to hump her leg?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

But Alexia is swayed with that and they part ways.

Say something nice Faps:

It’s getting even gayer up in here. Seriously Alexia, if you were seriously considering getting deep-dicked by Douche-canoe, douche canoe, of the dickwad douche canoes you better be considering this.

In particular I like the idea that Alexia’s father was openly bisexual. In part because she describes him as basically down for any person who wanted to fuck him. I am the kind of slutty stereotypical bisexual that relates to that.  Also the more gay characters the better my friend.

I mean, I’m not super happy with the direction they continuously drag Ivy’s character but it’s at least it’s more of a personality.  And I’ll take the comic relief, even if it isn’t good.

[jaybug-jabbers]

Bug Run 4: The Final Reckoning

So, here’s the thing. I wanted to go into this last gauntlet as low-levelled as possible.

So I tried several times. I’ll give some recaps of those warm-ups. But in the end, I did find I needed to level up on levels on par with Cynthia in order  to properly face her. I do want to include the warm-ups, however, because those lower Elite fights become quite trivial at higher levels. So I feel like the warm-ups do cast an important light on the merits of the team.

Just as a quick refesher on the rules:

1.) no healing items during battle unless the foe uses them first, and then I can only match the items one-for-one.

2.) no entering the Elite four at levels higher than the highest-level pokemon in the Elites/Champion.

Warm-Up One

With this first warm-up, my team was all at levels 55. Honestly, they did surprisingly well, all things considered. The first few Elites, specializing in Bug and Ground, were not any trouble. After all, ROFLCOPTER’s Ancient Power/Air Slash could just sweep the bug team, and I had plenty of ways of handling the ground team as well. (In fact, Maestro took out Rhyperior all on his own– which I am so proud of. The power of Screech and Brick Break, and Rhyperior missing one of his Megahorns, heh.)

The true challenge was Flint.

One of only two Elites who specialize in the Fire type, surely this was the true test of a bug team’s mettle.

I started off with my Drapion, as you can imagine his typing and his Earthquake were pretty important for this match. Sadly I fall JUST short of a 1HKO on Houndoom. The dog gets Sunny Day up, which is … really, really bad. Then Flint heals. I take out Houndoom the next time, but that’s the least of my concerns. Infernape is next up, and I send out Yanmega, because I’m certain it will outspeed Drapion. After a little Protect just in case, I Air Slash, which juuuuuuust barely falls short of killing. Fortunately Infernape Flare Blitzes and takes us both out. My Black Fang is back out again, squaring off against Flareon. Sadly, my EQ doesn’t one-shot, so I get an Overheat straight to the face. I finally bring Flareon down, but next up is the scary horse that is Very Fast. I revive my dragonfly (potion was used on Houndoom) and send him out. While Rapidash spends a turn getting Sunny Day back up, I throw some rocks. Another turn of rocks and it goes down, but then the major problem hits.

It’s Magmortar. In the sun, no less.

My Ancient Power hardly even phases him, depressingly. Once ROFL goes down, that’s it. Magmortar outspeeds everyone in a giant ball of fire.

Warm-Up Two

So, no real surprise that Magmortar presented a bit of a problem for us. My second warm-up had my team all at levels 57 when I started out. This is the level of Flint’s ace poke. These higher levels made things a lot easier: Black Fang took Houndoom out in one hit, preventing Sunny Day. ROFL’s Air Slash on Infernape took him out clean this time. Fang’s EQ could also clean out Flareon in one hit. Rapidash was the first to not fall to one hit: he took one Ancient Power, just barely. However, ROFL somehow survived the Flare Blitz and Rapidash fell to recoil.

I’m sad to say ROFL’s rocks still barely put a dent in Magmortar; and Magmortar still outsped nearly everyone on my team still. Except for one– Black Fang. Thankfully, EQ killed, letting us squeak on by.

The last Elite member was a Psychic specialist. As you can imagine, for a full-bug team, this wasn’t too terrifying a prospect. I sent Maestro out first, 1HKOing the Mr. Mime. Gallade was the ace, and pretty damn tough. I decide to send Fang out to get a couple Scary Faces off, because his speed terrifies me. Then I smash away with Poison Jabs, poisoning him in the process. I’m almost home free until (of course) Full Restore rains on my parade. So I continue the process, stabbing away with Poison Jab, but my foe decides to be clever and switch Bronzong in. I try using Crunch on it just to see, but it’s not really worth much; I drop to Extrasensory and probably shouldn’t have wasted Drapion like that.

That said, Maestro goes in and has this covered for me. I’ve spent many an hour beating up Bronzongs in Victory Road and know that one Screech and the bell falls to my X-Scissors, despite the bulk and the resistances. No worries.

Gallade returns from his break, so I send ROFL in. I proect on what I think is his last Stone Edge before Air Slashing him to death.

Last is Alakazam. Air Slash puts him at 1 HP, which is quite annoying, because of course Full Restore is next. Yes, I don’t have Bug Buzz on ROFL. I know, that’s a bit silly, but I wanted to pack a bunch of coverage moves on him. Anyway, I bring Fiberglass in and smash away with Iron Heads as plan B. I take 2 Focus Blasts to the face easily and immerge victorious.

Easy peasy.

But truth be told, despite how far we had gotten, we just weren’t ready for a particular pokemon to come.

Cynthia’s opeing Spiritomb is easy enough. I used Cleo to toxic it and healed heavily, and swooped in with Attack Order when the time was ripe.

Togekiss was out next, which … is pretty scary. I had equipped Black Fang with Rock Slide, but Togekiss is still bulky as fuck. Plus, Air Slash did a LOT to Fang, even though it wasn’t super effective. I got lucky with the flinches, simply put (even after one full restore from our champion). Somehow, against a Togekiss, this seems fitting, though.

Luck wasn’t going to carry us through Garchomp, though. The run ended there, once again in flames. It was just too high-levelled and too strong.

Warm-Up Three

I spent some time grinding more, getting the team up to levels 60-62. I also bought and grabbed a few extra HMs and items. I would need to be careful and incredibly precise with this battle.

This fight came so incredibly close. It certainly confirmed I was on the right track.

I opened with Fiberglass, setting down my Stealth Rock. I bashed away at Spiritomb with Iron Head, which was around a four or five hit kill. That sounds slow, but Fiberglass resisted the Dark Pulses and Shadow Balls that it threw at me, so it was quite reasonable. I did get some bad luck with a Special Defense drop on a Shadow Ball, though. This means when Cynthia stopped to potion up, I did too. Eventually Spiritomb fell, though.

Next was Garchomp. She was going right to the big guns this time. I had a plan for this, though. I sent out my Drapion, equipped with a Focus Sash. The plan was Scary Face. I absolutely needed to drop its terrible speed. Lacking any paralyzing moves whatsoever, Scary Face was all I had. Earthquake brought me down to 2 HP (which was hilarious, not even consuming the sash) and I got the Scary Face off; then I pondered my next move. I decided to risk swapping Cleopatra in.

She switched in on an Earthquake as I had hoped, and then was able to Toxic. She tanked Garchomp’s Flamethrower damn admirably, and was able to heal off the damage several times. Then a critical hit catches her and she goes down. Still, it felt like holding back an ocean tide, and I was impressed she managed to do it as long as she did.

Then I sent Maestro in.

“A fucking Kricketune against a Garchomp?” you ask. “Are you mad?”

But this Kricketune had a Pomeg berry and that weird move Natural Gift. As most of you probably don’t remember this weird-ass move introduced in gen IV, the move’s power and typing changes depending on the berry you hold. It’s kind of like Hidden Power, but easier to manipulate … but can only be done once, as it consumes the berry.

Pomeg berry translates to a base 70 Ice attack. And it worked, taking the Garchomp down. It was deeply satisfying.

Next was Togekiss. I had hoped Fiberglass could do a little chip damage but her health was just too low and she went down immediately. Somehow, I manage to take Togekiss out with 2 Ancient Powers from ROFL, though (after surviving an Air Slash).

Milotic is out next, and I’m fully aware how tanky this beast is. I send out Sparkler to try a Bug Buzz, and get a very lucky critical hit– sending the HP down to 1/3. Ice beam then takes us out, but ROFL can easily revenge with Air Slash.

Lucario is next! I try Air Slash, and it brings him down to less then ½ health, which is great! But what’s not so great is Lucario has Stone Edge. Another bug drops.

Maestro manages to get the kill with Brick Break– surviving a Stone Edge to do so. It feels fantastic, but we’re in deep trouble now. I’m down to just two pokemon; Maestro and Black Fang, and they’re both in the low red.

It’s just not quite enough. She outspeeds Maestro and so he’s gone.

And that’s it. The run stops here. I know Fang can’t 1HKO.

We came so close, though. So ridiculously close. What if our luck had been just a little bit better? Or what if … what if I put the Focus Sash on Sparkler? I’d already seen Fang could just barely survive one hit.

What would happen then?

One More Fight

The rematch is very, very similar to before, with only a few small differences.

This time round, Fiberglass got through Spiritomb a little more easily. I didn’t need to use a potion to get through it when Cynthia potioned it; I just plugged away and brought the ghost down.

The fight with Garchomp went pretty similarly. I got a Scary Face off with Drapion, swapped Cleo in, did some toxic stalling … although once Garchomp’s health gets into the red and I choose “Toxic” again, anticipating the Full Restore, for some odd reason it never comes. Garchomp Dragon Rushes instead– which misses, and toxic of course fails. The following turn, Garchomp goes down. I have no idea why Cynthia didn’t Full Restore that time, but in the long run, it didn’t make a difference, as you will see.

Next up was Togekiss, and I send Fiberglass back in, but potion up Drapion this time– using the potion I was owed that Cynthia used before on her Spiritomb. Fiberglass goes down to a critical Air Slash, and Drapion goes out to tough it out again with Rock Slides. Once again, Cynthia potioning up and I need to Rock Slide through another round, but manage to not fall victom to Rock Slide misses. I’m thankful.

Milotic is next again, and Sparkler Bug Buzzes. He does not score a crit this time, and I see just how pitiful the damage is when it’s not a crit. Oof. My sash is consumed and I get one more hit off, which helps, but Milotic is not as low as before. When I send ROFL in, Air Slash does not kill.

Oddly, Milotic decides to Mirror Coat instead of Ice Beam. I take heavy damage but don’t die. I try to Giga Drain, now confused over what Milotic was doing, and thinking the HP might help me survive a non-ice hit. It brings Milotic down into the red but she still doesn’t DIE, and Cynthia potions back up.

This wasn’t going good. I attack more, finally go down to an Ice Beam, and bring Fang in to revenge-kill with a Poison Jab, which thankfully does the job.

Lucario is out next. I swap in Cleo, who’s in the low red. I use the chance to do one thing: potion Drapion back up again. Cleo goes down, and Drapion can kill with one EQ.

Finally, Roserade. I’m back to the same scenario as before– with Maestro and Fang the last ones standing– but both are at full health this time.

Two Poison Jabs take Roserade down, and that’s that.

This is a repost on a new blog. The original post was on Dec 14, 2018.

[ianmrid]

...There’s A Chance To Begin Again!

Pokémon Pearl: Completed!

As is the norm, my second trip through a region is markedly quicker than my first, for a couple of reasons: I don’t need to explore anywhere near as much, and I also focus mainly on capturing just the version exclusive pokémon. So, although I spent less time on my Pearl playthrough, I still managed to rack up a pretty respectable 44 hours and 23 minutes of play time. When it come to number of pokémon captured however, there is a huge Pokédex drop off with just 150 seen / 34 caught in the main game, and only a slight bump up to 246 seen / 39 caught post-National ‘Dex. I really was laser-focused on just the pokémon I needed this time around!

Despite spending less time with them, I really liked my Sinnoh team. I had a fair idea of which pokémon I wanted to use beforehand - specifically wanting a Steel, Dark, and Ghost core - but there is always some wiggle room. Shall we look at them? Let’s look at them!

Scorchio the Infernape: I previously complained about the lack of Fire-types in Sinnoh, so sticking with the Fire/Fighting dual type starter line was a real blessing here. This is a great type combo for attacking, which is what Infernape is built for with a good stats for both Attack and Special Attack. Since I had a couple of strong Special Attackers elsewhere on the team, I loaded up my Infernape with all Physical Attacking moves. The dual STAB moves of Flare Blitz and Close Combat combined with a STAB priority Mach Punch, meant that not much wanted to take on Scorchio, especially with the Life Orb held item adding an extra boost (at the cost of some HP). The plan with this set is to defeat your opponent before Life Orb damage and Flare Blitz recoil knock you out! The set was rounded off with Rock Climb because Sinnoh has too many freaking HMs. Speaking of which...

Peanut the Bibarel: Bibarel, much like Lopunny, has a reputation as a bit of an HM mule, and since it is also part Water-type, meaning it can learn the Water-type HMs as well, it’s probably the best option in the game. However I still wasn’t planning on using one until, wandering through only the second or third route of the game, I encountered a shiny Bidoof! Thankfully I captured it and once I did, there was no way I wasn’t going to use it on my team! This is my first shiny since my Gen2 Geodude, who came far to late into the game to make my team, so Peanut (named after the all-powerful shiny Bidoof, Peanutbutter in Dorklys Pokémon Rusty webseries) became my first ever shiny team member! Moveset-wise, it should be no surprise that they are all HMs: Surf, Strength, Rock Smash, and Waterfall. Bidoof is gonna Bidoof, after all.

Diaz the Roserade: Named for Brooklyn 99s Rosa Diaz, I always planned to use a Roserade in Sinnoh and she would have probably made it onto my Diamond team if I hadn’t started with Turtwig. I think Roserade is a great example of how new evolutions can breathe new life into old pokémon. Before Gen4, Roselia was a standard uninteresting Grass/Poison type that I couldn’t imagine using on a team. This changed with the addition of a cool masquerade-inspired evolution! Roserade has great Special Attack and Defence, and I compensated for the lack of HP and Physical Defence with both the Leftovers held item and the Grass-type STAB Giga Drain to keep her healthy. She also has the very useful ability Natural Cure, that removes status conditions when you switch her out, so that also helped her avoid taking too much damage. In return she was also the paralysis-spreader via Stun Spore, a move that among other things, helps to improve catch rates of afflicted pokémon. Very useful since catching missing pokémon was the main aim of this run!

Ru Pol the Mismagius: The second of a trio of ‘new’ evolutions on this team, this time the evolved form of Gen2′s Misdreavus, Mismagius is another Special Attacker with great Special bulk, with the additional benefit of being lightning fast! Once I loaded him up with great special coverage moves - STAB Shadow Ball, Thunderbolt, and Psychic, all powered up by the Wise Glasses held item - I think Mismagius was probably the MVP of the party often getting several levs ahead of his teammates. Sure, his Defence was basically non-existent, but the healing move Pain Split helped to mitigate that a little. Most importantly, I think Ru Pol is my favourite nickname for a pokémon for a while! Mismagius is another pokémon that is somewhat female-coded in its appearance but with a 50/50 gender ratio, with mine happening to be male. This is almost begging for a drag queen inspired name and, although Ru Poltergeist wouldn’t fit, I think Ru Pol still gets the point across. What with Bunnytrap the Lopunny in my last team, it seems Poké-Drag Queens are my new favs!

Barksdale the Honchkrow: Rounding out the new evolution team members is Honchkrow, based on a gang leader or Mafia boss. Honchkrow evolves from Johto’s Murkrow and makes so much sense. Murkrow were always presented as a gang of petty troublemakers or low level criminals, so giving them a head honcho crow (ah ha!) as an evolution was a great design choice. Honchkrow is more of Physical Attacker, but since it ad to take on the HMs for Fly and Defog, I gave it STAB Sucker Punch for priority, then built my strategy around its remaining move; Night Slash, a 70 base power (bp) Physical Dark-type move. Night Slash has the added effect of improving the chance of a critical hit (up from 1 in 16 to one in 1 in 8. This stacks with both my Honchkrow’s ability, Super Luck, taking it up to 1 in 4, and its held item, the Scope Lens, taking it to a 1 in 3 chance of dealing a critical hit! Given that this move also gets STAB and Honchkrow’s base Attack stat is a very impressive 125, this guy could dish out some very strong hits indeed! Nickname-wise, I went for the modern equivalent of a Mafia Boss; the Wires kingpin of crime, Avon Barksdale. What do you mean that show finished over a decade ago? No, you’re old.

Bow the Bronzong: Finally, rounding out my planned Ghost/Dark/Steel trio, and providing some much needed Physical and Special bulk, is Bronzong. Named after the Great Bell of Bow (’cos it looks like a massive bell, obviously), Bronzong was very much a support pokémon. I had it learn both Light Screen and Reflect to increase both Defence stats for the team, and gave it a Light Clay to hold to make these buffs last for 8 turns instead of 5. I also gave it Toxic to help wear down difficult opponents and rounded things out with Earthquake as I wanted it to have at least a little attacking presence, so that it didn’t fall too far behind its teammates in terms of level. Although I don’t usually use too many defensive pokémon, Bronzong gave the team a nice balance and helped cover for some of the glass cannons I had selected this time around!

And here they all are - look at shiny Bibarel!! <3

Next up, the enhanced version of the games; Pokémon Platinum. After the Gen3 step up in quality that was Pokémon Emerald, I’m very interested to see what additional stuff they have packed into the Gen4 third game!