#bless crackships
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blenselche · 2 months ago
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Working my way thru a backlog of reqs. TifFinny be upon you.
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shehungthemoon · 1 month ago
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Ain't no WAY billford is the #1 ship of the year. BILLFORD. Oh my god holy hell 2016 me is weeping and crying.
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celestial-crafts · 4 months ago
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About a month ago I had dream where I was in ghost city. At some point I start to look around and then spot Mu Qing holding hands with Butcher Zhu, and going on what I presumed to be date. I woke up crying.
Since this cursed thought has been haunting me for a while now, I decided to doodle it.
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sylviesoothsayer22 · 2 months ago
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Well Matched - Chapter 1
Lycoris radiata
When the Yiling Laozu’s spirit emerged from the Burial Mounds as a newborn Calamity, the entire cultivation world trembled in fear.
Wei Ying just wanted to find a quiet place to rest. He had no plan, so he naturally followed the strange butterfly that seemed to beckon him somewhere. What’s the worst that could happen?
“You’re adorable.”
“I thought I was charming.”
“Charming and adorable. I’m tempted to keep you.”
“….sweet-talker.”
“Rejoice, Wei Wuxian is dead!”
“Fantastic, fantastic indeed! Remind me again, who was the hero who killed the Yiling Laozu?”
“His shidi! The little sect leader Jiang Cheng!”
Everyone in the tavern laughed and declared those who have led the Siege of the Burial Mounds heroes. They all toasted to the Patriarch’s demise.
It had been several months since the news first broke out and many have not yet ceased celebrating.
A condescending snort cut through their revelry. All eyes were drawn to the rogue cultivator lounging in his seat. One youth lazily twisted his head to the man’s direction and cast his left eye on the speaker.
“Too early for that.” He rumbled. “The days of the Yiling Laozu are far from over.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let me ask you all a question.” The speaker said. Clearly pleased to have everyone’s attention. “Since Wei Wuxian wasn’t born into the Jiang sect, how many Soul-Tranquilization Rites has he undergone before his violent death?”
Almost every member in the tavern paled in realization.
“You can’t mean that he’ll come back as a ghost!”
“Even if he did, every soul within the Burial Mounds are trapped there. The amount of resentful energy alone makes it impossible for the dead to break free!”
“The Burial Mounds no longer hold as much resentful energy as they used to.” The cultivator informed them gravely.
“What do you mean?!”
“Speak plainly!”
“Don’t go around spreading false rumours for attention, you old fart!”
The only person who didn’t put up a fuss was the youth who was watching the pandemonium with a bored expression. The cultivator gazed at the anxious crowd in silence before loudly slamming his jug on the table.
“Silence! Do you wish to hear what happened after the Siege or not?!”
Everyone quieted and listened to the cultivator with wrapped attention as he began his tale:
“After the Patriarch’s demise, all was quiet for a while and the Great Sects believed it would be the end of it. Yet, some wandering cultivators detected strange disturbances within the Mounds. The resentful energy appeared to be constantly fluctuating. Through their observations, they saw a thick red fog emerge and cover the mountains. The wanderers notified the sects who sent out members of high rank. Those same men would come back and swear blind that they saw the Patriarch lurking around.”
“How is it that no one has heard of this until now?”
“The sects silenced as many gossipers as they could find. They did not wish to spread panic or give the demonic worshippers hope.” The cultivator cast the interrupter a slight glare. “May I continue now?” He asked dryly.
“At that point, all of the sects believed that Wei Wuxian did not pass on. Many high-ranking cultivators, sect leaders and head disciples converged on the spot where they sensed the yin energy was at its highest, believing that the Patriarch’s spirit was still recuperating. Wanting to put an end to this drawn-out battle, they rushed at the swirling mass only to stop in their tracks!”
“Thorny black vines shot through the rocky ground and held them all in a vice-like grip. They tried to hack them off with their swords, but new vines would grow in their place. The bound cultivators felt themselves growing weak. Somehow, Wei Wuxian drained them of their spiritual energy. What’s worse, the red fog surrounding the mountain hardened and formed into a barrier. By the time the cultivators realized that they had walked into a trap, there was a familiar sound of a dizi playing.”
The crowd’s eyes were as wide as saucers. The youth’s eyes were narrowed in deep thought. Many leaned forward as the cultivator continued with his story:
“A figure emerged through the fog. None other than the Yiling Laozu himself! Different, but still recognizable. When he was last seen, he was gaunt, injured and looked ready to collapse at any moment. Back then, he looked fragile but unmistakably human. Now, not anymore. His skin was as white as pale snow. The grey of his robes swirled unnaturally against the breeze like ash. The black of his clothes were so dark, they appeared to be devouring any form of light. It almost looked as if it were made of shadows. His eyes let out an eerie blood red glow. There was a vial full of -what appeared to be- ashes suspended around his neck by a red string. The strangest addition to Wei Wuxian’s appearance was the countless ghostly-green fireflies floating around him. What purpose they serve, I do not know.”  The speaker shook his head. His expression haunted.
“Everyone believed that the Patriarch was about to start another massacre. One that would overshadow what he did in Nightless City. Instead, he plays one sharp note and Wei Wuxian dissolved into a murder of crows! The crows and fireflies passed through the shield and scattered into several different directions. Everyone else was left trapped within the barrier. For whatever reason, Wei Wuxian chose to spare the cultivation world his wrath that night.”
The crowd traded panicked whispers among themselves. The speaker watched them with an amused expression.
“You make it sound as if you were there.” The red robed youth piped up, while the rest of the tavern were busy processing the Yiling Laozu’s strange new powers. The rogue cultivator looked at the youth, affronted.
“I was there, ignorant brat! It took us nearly six months to break through that damned barrier and another three to search for that devil’s weakness in the Burial Mounds!”
“How has no one heard of this until now?” A member of the crowd asked disbelievingly.
“This is now common knowledge in the entire cultivation world. It’s not my fault no one cared to inform the people in this backwatered village!”
The youth snorted and shot back “How much of this story is fabricated? Unless you can provide proof that you were there yourself, I don’t see much of a point in listening to your fairy tales.”
The crowd let out murmurs of agreement. The rogue cultivator felt a tick mark growing on his forehead. He grabbed an item that was wrapped in layers of talismans from his pocket and slammed it on the table in front of the youth.
“Here’s your proof! The jade token that was once tied to Chenqing!” The youth picked up the token and examined it. The item exuded an absurd amount of yin energy that could only belong to something powerful.
“It certainly appears authentic.” He commented. The cultivator snatched back the token from the young man’s hands.
“Bah! What would you know?” He grumbled as a he re-wrapped the item and put it back in his pocket. The youth shot him an unimpressed look.
“You mentioned that you and your fellow cultivators were looking for the Patriarch’s weakness. Did you find it?” The youth asked blithely. The rogue cultivator gnashed his teeth.
“No. The Yiling Laozu is far too cunning.” He faced the crowd once more.
“While normal ghosts can be dissipated in numerous ways or sealed with a spirit-trapping pouch, beings like Wei Wuxian can only be destroyed through the destruction of their ashes.”
“Didn’t you mention he had a vial of ashes wrapped around his neck? Why were you looking for them in the Mounds?” A member of the crowd asked, confused.
“I’m getting there!” The rogue snapped before continuing “We looked for clues on where would Wei Wuxian go to for refuge. Through our findings we found many similar looking vials and took the chance that maybe his was among them. When we started destroying every vial we could see, we realized these ashes belonged to other ghosts. The truly horrifying part? After we captured a stray soul and demanded information, it was revealed that they willingly sacrificed themselves for the Patriarch. He did not even have to use his flute on them!” The cultivator shook his head in disbelief before continuing. “Somehow, this Wei Wuxian won the ghosts' loyalty after the destruction of his mortal body. They even called him ‘our lord’!”
“Perhaps he’s building a city for the dead as we speak.” One member mumbled. Almost everyone in the tavern let out shudders at that possibility. The only ones who weren’t affected was the story-teller and the youth. The rogue cultivator snorts.
“Now who’s telling fairy tales?” He took on a severe countenance.
“If the Yiling Laozu decided to create a ghost realm, the amount of resentful energy needed would attract the attention of every single cultivator within a thousand miles. Don’t you get it, you fools? He’s in hiding! Right now, he has likely suppressed the majority of his powers to such a degree that it would take a strong spiritual weapon to detect him.”
“Do you mean that finding the Patriarch is a hopeless endeavour?” The youth drawled out in a bored manner.
“Not quiet. Remember the ghost-flies? Normal fireflies only come out in the summer. Yet, no matter the season, these creatures follow him wherever he goes. We merely have to wait for news on them.” The rogue cultivator concluded.
“How sad that the entirety of the cultivation world has to rely on mere rumours and heresy to catch one measly ghost.” The youth remarked, casually.
“Well, do you have any better ideas?!” The rogue cultivator shouted. “If you don’t, then get out of my sight! You disrespectful wretch!”
The youth shrugged and got up. He brushed past the ill-tempered cultivator and smirked in secret as he exited the tavern. Once the ‘young man’ was a fair distance away, he pulled out the token that he snatched from the arrogant cultivator. A silver butterfly landed on the item. Hua Cheng waited as the creature scented the yin signature and watched as it took off in search of the source. He continued his leisurely walk.
Wei Wuxian. He thought. What an interesting character you are.
Chapter End.
Author's Note: Lycoris radiata is the botanical name for red spider lily. The flower is typically associated with death, long journeys, sad memories and final goodbyes. Interestingly, the colour red usually means love and passion.
Omake:
WWX: *sneezes for the nth time that day*
WWX: Aish! Have I suddenly become so popular?! Why the hell are people talking about me so much?!
WQ & WN: *judgmentally staring*
WWX: *sweatdrops* Nevermind~
All three: *see something let out a silver glow in a corner* Wait. What was that?
I'll try and post the rest of this fic one chapter per-week until I eventually run out. Hope ya enjoyed it!
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eggariesalad · 1 year ago
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oc x canon stuff ft the guy i want in my berth
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yumemiruuuu · 1 year ago
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No memes for now until I come up with something, just my new shelf with 2ha and a postcard of my favorite TGCF cover 😔🤌🏻
(coincidentally, I still had my husky funko from 7 years ago)
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orilifiel · 6 months ago
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My otp <3
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klutzypuppy · 1 year ago
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i am back to drawing noid yaoi......
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baltears · 9 months ago
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wheres that post about being the hannibal lecter of shipping. if u ship something that actively contradicts the thematic messaging of the entire work or disregards a characters arc bc of bad media literacy ur going in the soup
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femmefighter · 4 months ago
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Ignoring the fact I am so behind on all the commenting I'm wanting to do...
F/F ships that are also rare pairs or crackships? Yeah RIP 😂
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Saw a person complaining about only getting 42 comments on a fic and I just want to scream.
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sylviesoothsayer22 · 1 month ago
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Lured Deep Beneath The Waves (Complete)
He Xuan x Wei Ying
In order to save their worthless lives, Wei Ying's village offered Jiang Yanli up on a silver platter to a beast, only for her little brother to step in and oh so nobly take her place. Forcefully whisked away from his -ahem- not so peaceful living situation, he now finds himself in a queer place, looking like the spoiled wife of a dotting lord, wondering what he ought to do with his new circumstances.
That sounds like one of those questionable novels I'd catch jiejie reading. Also, I didn’t exactly ‘step in’ of my own accord.
At least the clucking hens back at the village now have new writing material to work with.
Author's Note:
The idea for this work came to me when I had a mental health retreat by the sea a few months back. Told some discord friends about it and it sorta snowballed to this. Also, I was accused of having a Hua Cheng-bias and needed to clear my name. *shrug*
This fic may or may not have some Deadpool & Wolverine humour here and there. Oops.
Anyways! This whole premise will eventually turn into a series of instalments that deal with HeXian's marital life. Now, onto the first fic!
He would’ve done it had she just asked. Madame Yu really didn’t need to go through all the trouble.
Wei Wuxian had been kneeling for so long that his legs had already gone numb. The cliff he was on faced the roiling, blackened sea, stretching out as far as the eye could perceive, so much so that he was unable to differentiate between the darkened waters and sky. He could taste the bitter salt in the air, the sea-spray clinging to his clothes, the chilling breeze, which forced his body into sporadic shivers. Not a single gull dared to caw, no fishermen hollering at each other to go home before curfew or paddles splashing against the water’s pull. Aside from his own breathing, the only other sound Wei Wuxian’s ears knew were the roarous crashing of waves smashing into the rocks of the cliff that he was chained to. 
It was already nighttime, a smattering of stars splashed across the sky, the crescent moon hung high like an arced axe about to fall on his head at any moment, its subtle glow barely providing him any light for his surroundings. Not that Wei Ying could see much through the stupid veil.
All this over some moronic ritual that should’ve died out in a bygone era.
It all began with a rumour. Black Water Demon Xuan was looking for someone, a woman, with hair like shadow, a face as fair as snow and eyes so bright they reflected the night sky. Said rumour trickled its way into the tiny fishing villages located near the South Sea, where the fabled Black Water Demon Lair resides. This led many to believe that he was looking for a wife, a concubine or perhaps just a bed-slave. As you can imagine, it resulted in numerous families offering up their daughters to the Water Demon, praying that it would spare their village from the Calamity’s dismay. 
The act of ‘offering’ one’s daughter to Black Water had become so common among the five villages that, throughout the centuries, it warped and spiralled into a ritualistic sacrifice where, every ten years, one fishing village out of the five, Lianhua, Huīshuǐ, Lántiān, Rìluò and Jinyǔmáo, had to place a fair maiden, dressed in the most elaborate bridal robes each village could afford, upon the Weeping Cliff, named after the silently weeping brides who would be carried there. The most hysterical bride would find themselves chained to the cliff in order to prevent them from escaping or even finding a way out of the marriage by plunging themselves into the watery depths below. 
Each village has their own method of choosing a bride, ensuring that it was random to make it ‘fair’. For Lianhua village, it was through a single pearl. As soon as it was Lianhua’s turn to sacrifice one of their own, the unmarried women of their village would gather at the main square, there they would find a bucket filled with perfectly round white stones and an opalescent pearl hidden among the identical rocks. Upon the ringing of a bell, each maid was forced to step up and dig deep into the bucket, as it was forbidden to pick anything from the surface, until one woman was saddled with the unlucky pearl. This year’s chosen maid was unfortunately none other than his jiejie, Jiang Yanli. 
Well, she wasn’t Wei Wuxian’s actual sister, as the lovely Madame Yu was keen on reminding him every damn day. 
Wei Ying’s parents were wandering cultivators that got killed on one of their hunts while he was very young. By some miracle, Wei Ying managed to find his way back to Lianhua where village head Jiang Fengmian recognized the lost little boy as the son whom his parents helped the people of Lianhua deal with some pesky water ghouls a few months back and so, decided to take Wei Ying in as a way to pay his debt to the boy’s parents. 
Of course, the Dear Madame Yu didn’t like how her husband seemingly favoured Wei Ying over their son, Jiang Cheng. Going out of her way to belittle every single achievement Wei Ying ever made while growing up. Oh, Wei Ying far exceeded Jiang Cheng in their studies? Madame Yu would give Jiang Cheng a scolding so severe that Wei Ying started deliberately underperforming just so that there would be less friction between mother and son. Wei Ying tied fishing nets faster than Jiang Cheng? Any praise given to him by Jiang Fengmain would be met with an equal amount of derision from his lovely wife. Wei Ying caught more fish than Jiang Cheng? He would wake up the next day and find his fishing tools tampered with to which Wei Ying chose to keep his mouth shut and carry on with his day.  
Wei Ying can easily forgive and forget all these little transgressions. After all, he was just an interloper, an orphan who was saved from a life on the streets thanks to the Jiang family’s pity. The least he could do was keep his head down and not offset the delicate balance among his hosts. 
However, Wei Ying drew the line at Madame Yu’s ill treatment of Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze’s memory. The woman would go out of her way to stamp out Wei Ying’s tendency to emulate his parents, as in whenever he tries practising the cultivation techniques that the two wandering cultivators taught him. The same techniques that helped Wei Ying survive on his own until he managed to find his way back to Lianhua. Even going as far as to disparage any attempted meetings between Wei Ying and rogue cultivators that found their way into the fishing village. All Wei Ying wanted was to follow in his parents’ footsteps, but the mere idea of him being better than the blood-son in anything was enough to set Madame Yu off a bunch.
Needless to say, once he was old enough Wei Ying spent most of his days out of the Jiang household. Only ever using the residence as a place to sleep or shelter from harsh weather. Wei Ying only hoped that he could make it until he found a wife and finally moved out of that dreary house. 
Perhaps if Wei Ying was around more often, he wouldn’t be in this mess or at least spare his jiejie some grief. 
I could’ve convinced her to hide out in one of the neighbouring villages until the ritual was over. Her idiot betrothed would’ve certainly helped. Or tamper with the selection process. Or or-
Aiyah, he was overthinking again. Now, where was he?
Ah, yes. His current predicament.
To Madame Yu, it was bad enough that her husband barely paid attention to their son, but finding out that she’ll lose her only daughter to a Calamity of all beings, was the last straw. She secretly hired the Wen Gang to capture Wei Wuxian-Really, Madame? Really?! Of all the scum you could’ve hired to do your dirty work, you chose the bullies notoriously known for encroaching on the villages’ fishing territories and beating up the weak?! Come on, Madame Yu! Have some class! 
Anyways, the hired help managed to sneak up on him (Wei Ying blamed it on the wine he drank to drown out his sorrows), knocked him out by a swift log to the head, dressed him up as the bride and chained him to the damn cliff.
Shackled to this lonely rock while bedecked head-to-toe in wedding garb, Wei Wuxian resembled a royal bride shipped off to an ill-fated marriage. He wore scarlet robes with a long gradient train, the colour blending from crimson to sunset red, his shoulders padded and decorated with dangling golden chains, teardrop shaped lapis lazuli dripping at the tailends of the delicate metalwork. Water dragons stitched with silver thread, serpentine jaws open in defiance, their long bodies coiling around his front and waist. Each dragon sporting eyes embroidered with golden thread, glinting eerily. His hair was held up by two golden criss-crossing hair pins. The metal of the pins twisting and bending like roots, the stems cradling shining red flowers nestled within raven tresses. Were one to look more closely at the pins, they’d see that the ‘petals’ were in fact seashells painted in red lacquer, carefully arranged to look like blooming flowers. Hanging off his pale arms were long, billowing sleeves made of satin with a silk, semi-transparent outer layer, offering a ripple effect akin to low tide. The bridal veil had a similar, wave-like pattern at the edges. Underneath it, his ears sported red-pearl earrings with arced silver fishtails attached at the bottom end. Each fin studded with tiny diamonds. His fair face had a light layer of makeup. Bow-shaped lips coated a deep red, golden eyeliner emphasising the silver in his eyes and a soft pink blush dusting his cheeks, completed with the huadian of a lotus flower in full bloom, its soft petals unfurling, beguiling in its simplicity. 
For all their atrocious behaviour, Wei Ying had to give it to the Wen Gang. They knew how to dress up a bride. Top marks for their efforts. Truly.
The Madame spared no expense, he was almost flattered! Wei Ying knew he could never afford a single piece of jewellery on this accursed outfit were he to start saving up until he was ninety.
Except for one, miniscule flaw in this elaborate plan:
Wei Wuxian wasn’t a woman!
Sure, he looked like a bride befitting an emperor, but no amount of polish will turn a rock into a diamond! For the past -who knows how many- centuries, all of the sacrifices have been women . What’s stopping Black Water’s displeasure at finding a trussed up male dressed in wedding robes as opposed to a beautiful maiden? What’s stopping him from showing that displeasure to Lianhua village and -potentially- the other villages as well? Would he curse the village heads and all their future descendants? Would he stop providing them with fresh fish and clear waters, have the villages slowly starve to death as they lose their primary food source? Or would he simply drown them all in a fit of rage? 
Outcome after outcome flashed through his mind, each one worse than the last. The wound on his temple, where the idiots smashed it with a log, throbbed painfully. Wei Ying was about to slam the back of his head on the rock behind him to stop his spiralling thoughts before remembering the hair pins. Deciding it wasn’t worth stabbing into his scalp, Wei Ying lowered his chin in defeat and sighed.
With his luck, maybe the Water Demon won’t even bother showing up and leave Wei Ying chained here until he dies from thirst, turning the expensive wedding robes into his funeral shroud. Or maybe Black Water will take a liking to him and turn Wei Ying into a trophy wife. Forbidden from leaving the Calamity’s side until he was old and wrinkled, a used-up, shrivelled thing tossed into the sea like trash once his natural good looks fade with age. 
By the heavens, if this backfires, he’ll haunt Madame Yu for the rest of her miserable life.
Look on the bright side, he thought glumly, at least you finally got away from that house. Potentially forever.
Wei Ying just hoped that jiejie was alright.
Ignoring the pins and needles running up and down his legs, Wei Ying shifted into a more comfortable position and decided to pass the time by squinting through the veil, counting the stars. 
He was on star number thirteen when it suddenly disappeared, like a candle flame swiftly blown out. One by one, the stars winked out of existence, the shadows shaping the moon into a crescent drew back like soundless curtains, until it resembled a great, lone pearl stitched upon endless black cloth. The crashing waves slowly fell into a murmur and Wei Ying was left with his own blood pounding into his eardrums.
SPLAT!
He startled. Back going ramrod straight. 
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
Wei Ying felt his body break out in cold sweat. Adam’s apple bobbing painfully as he swallowed.
Someone or some thing was climbing up the cliff.
Wei Ying slammed his eyes shut and started doing what he hadn’t done in years. Pray.
Who should he be praying to?! The Flower Crowned Martial God? No. That doesn’t make any sense. He could hardly call himself a cultivator let alone a warrior.
Should he pray to Crimson Rain for luck? Best not. The Ghost King was pretty finicky and he might end up displeasing Black Water if he started praying to a rival Calamity.
Water Master Shi Wudu? Oh, now Wei Ying was asking for eternal torture. It’s no secret that Water Master and Demon Xuan had a rivalry as tumultuous as a ship caught in a malstrom. 
Which of the thousands of negligent, apathetic gods is more likely to show Wei Ying a shred of pity? Maybe-
An overwhelming coldness washed over Wei Ying, as if he had just been doused with seawater, the wetness seeping into his skin. Whatever breath he had in his lungs was viciously expelled.
He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that the figure had stopped just a foot away from him. 
Wei Ying felt more than saw the hand slowly reaching out towards his face, long fingers grasping at the sheer red veil, carefully moving it out of the way.
The flimsy barrier between bride and groom disappeared. Wei Ying blocked out the feeling of goosebumps rioting all over his skin. With one final prayer for strength, he cracked his eyes open.
What stared back at him had his heart hammering against his chest cavity, ready to burst.
Yellow eyes as bright as molten gold, ever-changing and malleable, reminding Wei Ying of the precious metal’s capacity to shift into whatever form or role the owner fancies. There was a cool temperance behind that hooded gaze, it bespoke of someone who witnessed centuries-worth of depravities, followed by the painstaking build of calculated viciousness to counterattack, of hard-won strength carried with ease, lurking just beneath the surface of faux-boredom. It made Wei Ying think of the sea during sunrise, when the yellow rays have barely touched the darkened waters, still and inviting. Teasing onlookers to take one little dip, since it looked so relaxing, so easy , only to stray too far and get struck by a sudden riptide, dragging down the ignorant into a watery grave. 
It was terrifying, it was beautiful . Doubly so when those eyes were all that Wei Ying could see. 
He couldn’t make out the being’s face nor his figure. Not when it was enveloped by a mist so dark that the only form of light capable of piercing through were those golden eyes. It wasn’t too dissimilar to squid-ink, now that Wei Ying thought about it. Plumes of blackish-blue clouds engulfing any unsuspecting swimmers, knocking them off course, unable to tell which way was up or down, to move forward or back. 
Wei Ying subconsciously leaned forward, a helpless moth in the face of an inviting flame, so enthralled was he by the sight, that he did not pay any heed to the brief flash of recognition, of disbelief, in those golden depths. Did not pay any mind to the smooth, pale hand faintly brushing against his cheek, achingly familiar. Long fingers traced the path of dried blood running down the side of Wei Ying’s head, until they were softly tapping at the wound on his temple. 
Wei Ying had been staring into the abyss for so long, he failed to register those two points of light blinking back into the shadows.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
It took a while for his mind to crawl back to consciousness. Wei Ying fully expected for there to be a godsforsaken ache equivalent to a pickaxe slammed into his skull or a gnawing, persistent throbbing in his temples demanding attention the moment one opens their eyes. 
Instead, when Wei Ying’s moonstone eyes cracked open, he woke up feeling rejuvenated and fully alert. Like long-awaited rain washing over a cracked and withering field.
It was easily the best sleep of Wei Ying’s life. 
Feeling that both his hands were now free, wary fingers prodded at the bump on his temple, checking for any damage. 
Only to be met with smooth, unbroken skin.
Wei Ying shot up, pupils blown wide. Head veering left and right, wildly taking in his new surroundings. 
He was sitting on a bed covered with pitch black sheets made of satin, the canopy drawn, but Wei Ying could still see through the azure, silken sheets. 
It was a windowless bedchamber, five times the size of his pitiful, dingy room back at the Jiang household, with muted grey walls and flooring, seemingly made out of stone. 
The closets, nightstand, chairs and low table looked as if they were also made out of this mystifying grey stone, protruding from the walls and floors, completely carved from the material. The bronze mirror appeared to be the only piece of furniture not made out of stone.
Looking down at himself, Wei Ying finally registered that he was no longer wearing those suffocating wedding garments along with another peculiar observation.
To be fair, he didn’t put up much of a struggle, but his movements while chained did result in his wrists to turn raw and swollen, yet Wei Ying could only see unblemished, milky-white skin. 
Did… he heal me? He wondered, lightly stroking his fingers against the no-longer-tender skin. Why? To earn my favour? Ensure that I warmed up to him quicker?
Then again, if he was powerful enough to change the sky, healing a few bumps and bruises would be childsplay. 
Maybe Black Water just didn’t want any defects on his new merchandise. Wei Ying thought, distantly. Caught between incredulity and exasperation. Now realising that he was put into yet another fancy outfit.
Tentatively drawing back the curtains, feet now on the ground, Wei Ying crossed the cold, rugless floor to the bronze mirror, gauging his current appearance. 
Ocean blue outer robes with hints of seafoam green and inner robes the colour of midnight starting from the top, turning into lighter, daytime shades as it reaches the bottom. Leaping fish made of silver and dark blue thread were stitched on the outer robes’ wide sleeves and shoulders, some fish holding what looked like seaweed in their mouths, while the ends of the robe had more seaweed embroidery, appearing as if they were swaying with the water’s currents. He had on a bright blue belt with silver accents and…a fish’s spine overlaying the sash, the bones of its caudal fin curled around the start of the spine like a claw. Blue and grey tassels with white and black pearls dangling off the belt.
Carefully running his hands upon the spinal segments, Wei Ying felt a strange-yet-pleasant shock zap through his skin. As if he had just brushed against a metal pole whilst a thunderstorm was churning above him. 
Attempting to move past how off-kilter he felt, Wei Ying looked back at the bronze mirror. 
Still gawking, Wei Ying gingerly grazed his fingers against the new accessories cradling his ears. Pearlescent ear cuffs in the shape of fish with long curtain-like fins, the ones that only emperors and nobles would keep as decorations in their private ponds. Their billowing tails delicately wrapped around the shell of his ears, the fins resting beneath his lobes. Lightly turning his head to the side, Wei Ying noticed that his hair was mostly let down, only timidly gathered at the base of his neck, a seaweed-shaped hair clip practically draped across his nape. 
At least it’s comfortable. Wei Ying thought, perturbed and somewhat annoyed. To think that he was dressed up like a doll while unconscious, twice in one day. 
Is this to be his life now? Dress in whatever manner that pleased his new husband with no sayso? Hanging off his arm like a kept-woman, a walking art piece with no thoughts or opinions of his own, that wasn’t expected to do more other than breathe and warm his bed?
Husband��. His mind numbly echoed. Wei Ying tightly gripped the mirror’s frame to prevent himself from swaying on his feet.
Oh gods. He was married. And to a temperamental water demon at that. 
In order to protect their worthless hides, Lianhua village offered Jiang Yanli up on a silver platter to a beast, only for her little brother to step in and nobly take her place. Now whisked off from his -ahem- not so peaceful living situation, finding himself in a queer place, looking like the spoiled wife of a dotting lord, wondering what he ought to do with his new circumstances.
That sounds like one of those questionable novels Liu Mingyan would lend out to jiejie. Also, I didn’t exactly ‘step in’ of my own accord.
At least Mingming now has new writing material to work with. 
His thoughts were taking such a leap to the absurd, Wei Ying felt the unbidden laugh sputter past his lips before quickly slapping a hand on his mouth.
Silver eyes darted towards the only entrance to the room, almost waiting for some kind of demonic servant to knock on the stone doors to deliver Wei Ying to its master, like some prized cargo. 
Isn’t that how those stories go? Wait until your newest guest wakes up before sending them off to the host with no warning?
Okay. Stop….
One breath….
Two…
..three….
By the time he reached a hundred, Wei Ying’s white-knuckled grip around the mirror’s frame loosened. By a hundred and two, his body started uncoiling bit-by-bit.
No knock ever came. That didn’t mean he was going to drop his guard, though.
Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Wei Ying started pacing around the room. There was quite a lot of ground to cover. How generous of Demon Xuan.
Could…could it be possible that he was just…forgotten? Merely tossed into a spare, impersonal room, while his new husband had some pretty little concubine to keep him entertained? 
Did he already displease his husband before he even had the chance to greet him properly?
No. He wouldn’t have bothered healing me or letting me sleep if that was the case. Wei Ying thought, mind still racing. Not to mention the attire….
Wei Ying let out a long sigh, which echoed back to him in this grand chamber. Shoulders drooping, he leaned his forehead against the bed frame, its solidity grounding Wei Ying.
He didn’t ask for this! What he wouldn’t give to be back at the village, sitting on the beach with jiejie and her giggling gaggle of friends by her side, a pot of lotus pork soup simmering above a fire.
Maybe if I earn husband-dearest’s ‘affections’, he’ll let me visit her….
Only one way to find out.
Squaring his shoulders, Wei Ying marched towards the wide stone doors, hand poised to push them open, halting just a hair's breadth away at the last second.
Wei Ying instinctively knew that he stood at the edge of a precipice. That the moment he opens the door, he will be sent careening straight into uncharted territory.
A part of him wanted to stay. To keep floating in this pool of uncertainty, at least here, it seems as if he won’t have to keep swimming into the unknown.
But Wei Ying was no coward.
He layed both hands flat on the cold stone, ready to push the double doors with all his might -the stone looked incredibly dense, it would’ve taken at least ten men to make it budge!
Yet, as soon as his hands touched the lifeless grey surface, there was a faint grinding sound as the doors smoothly slid against the hinges. As though this unfamiliar stone recognised Wei Ying as its master. That the lightest of touches was more than enough to make it obey him.
The double doors gradually split open and what met his gaze beyond it seemed so vast and unfathomable that it took Wei Ying a moment to process what he was seeing. 
A sprawling hallway lined with numerous stone doors not too dissimilar to the main entrance of the bedchamber he was in.
The hallways were lit by large crystal formations growing out of the hall’s ceiling and floor, the shape and size reminding Wei Ying of some of the underwater caves he was reckless enough to explore, of stalactites and stalagmites, except unlike them, these crystals didn’t have a rippling limestone appearance, but bear more of a resemblance to frosted glass that contained their own soft, eerie light. Bright enough to illuminate his path, but dull enough to leave the high-ceiling and distant halls in shadow. 
It made Wei Ying compare these crystals to the ones he saw during one lonely winter night. After an argument he had with Jiang Cheng, what was the fight about, he can’t even bother to remember, all he knew was that he stormed out of the Jiang household to cool off and was met with a world of pure white. The entire ground was covered in soft powder akin to crushed diamonds, deep blue icicles dripping off the edges of every roof, the light of the full moon shining down and reflecting off the ice. 
Yet, unlike that night, where the subtle white light brought him peace of mind, these crystals gave off a more distant, melancholic feel. Of providing you with the false assurance of knowing where you’re going, but were in fact, wholly lost and directionless.
The more Wei Ying walked, the more it felt like he was treading a perpetual lane with the same doors, the same walls, the same crystals. Still , he was able to catch a few, minute differences that assured him he wasn’t going in circles. Each door was the size of a palace gate, likely the same width too, all with their own intricate carvings etched into the smooth grey surface. Ships caught in storms with waves as high as mountains aggressively crashing into them from all sides, giant sea serpents locked in territorial fights as they catch each other hunting the same prey, haunting imagery of the seafloor with decaying sunken ships, their wooden skeletons slowly overtaken by seaweed, corals and other forms of aquatic flora, nature gradually staking its claim on those lost vessels, providing a new hub for smaller, more vulnerable creatures. 
He took a left, then a right, then another left, climbed ten flights of stairs, turned one more corrido- and I swear to all the gods twiddling their thumbs up in Heaven, if I find any more stairs I’ll tear all my hair out! Then Demon Xuan will have a bald bride to deal with! Does this hallway even have an end?! Should I just take my chances and go through the next door I see? 
Why does Demon Xuan even need all this space?!
After walking for what felt like hours, Wei Ying finally found a passageway that wasn’t lined with gargantuan doors. The left side of the hall was a smooth, dull grey wall like any other, whilst the right appeared to be made of glass, from floor to ceiling, segmented by oddly-made pillars with strange patterns.
They seem familiar…. Wei Ying thought, running his fingers into the etches and groves of these pillars, images of stalactites and stalagmites flooding his mind once more. Of how the two halves would grow, one from the ceiling, the other from the ground, both simultaneously dragged downwards and reaching up, eventually meeting in the middle till they entwined as one immovable column. 
Only what was beneath his fingertips, what was meant to be dripping water, meant to show signs of steady growth, of life , felt cold, still and dead. Forever petrified where it stands, no longer able to evolve into something more. 
Unnerved by where his thoughts were heading, Wei Ying decided to shift his focus on the glass from which these odd pillars were attached to. The more he looked, the more Wei Ying felt disheartened. Keen eyes attempted to parse through the darkness. There were no signs of a faint moon glow or even the glimmer of a single star. 
No wonder this place seems so melancholic. If my mere existence would result in the sky blotting itself out, I would feel pretty gloomy, too.
Now wondering what time of day it was -perhaps he slept through the night- something…unnerving caught his gaze. It was bizarre, completely alien, so utterly outside the realm of possibility for an orphaned fisherman like him to see outside of exaggerated illustrations, yet there it was. 
A long, skeletal fish about the size of a cottage, slithered past the window. Its head was the ugliest thing Wei Ying had ever seen. Broad, pushed back and slanted with what appeared to be a highly flexible jaw, giving it the ability to swallow prey as big as a horse with one gulp, its teeth were narrow and sharp with large gaps in between, allowing it to slice tender meat between their lips to bits. The creature’s entire body emitted a sinister radiance, its hollow eyes housing twin spectral lights. The behemoth was followed by a school of smaller bonefish similar in appearance, presumably its brood. 
It was the cold press of grey stone onto his spine that snapped Wei Ying back to the present. Realising that he’d been backing away from the window that whole time, the reality of his situation finally sunk in. 
I'm not looking at a veiled sky. Wei Ying thought numbly. I’m at the bottom of the sea.
The chasm between all that he knew and where he was at now was only getting wider, to the point that Wei Ying wondered if he’ll still be able to leap back. If he would ever be permitted to. 
Just as when it seemed like he was about to slip into another panic-induced spiral, something cool and slippery licked the back of his hand.
Wei Ying could’ve sworn that his very soul jumped out of his skin and crumpled up like wet paper. He probably lost ten years of his life from how startled he was.
Praying that this wasn’t something that was sampling him, beads of sweat trickling down his brow, Wei Ying creakingly twisted his head to the thing’s direction, trying to make sense of what his eyes were telling his mind for what felt like the nth time in this bizarre place.
A glowing, iridescent, bell-shaped body, resembling water droplets capturing all the colours produced by the sun’s light, shrinking and expanding like the beatings of a heart at ease,  curly tendrils as long as a man’s legs swaying just beneath its body.
For the second time that night, Wei Ying felt a slight, hysterical laugh squeeze past his lips.
A jellyfish… floating in the air.
Sure. Why not? This place is chock-full of eccentricities. Best that I get used to it, since this seems to be my life now.
There have been far too many surprises for him to even care that it just brushed its potentially poisonous coils against his bare hand. 
Maybe Wei Ying should just call it a night and slink back to his new room. Crawl into that comfy bed and, with luck, he might be able to convince himself that this was all a dream.
The jellyfish was observing him (Wei Ying wasn’t sure how he knew that, it’s not like he can see the thing’s eyes ). It started floating around him in slow, languid circles. A part of him felt like he should still be on guard, but the way the creature was acting seemed guileless, dare he say almost child-like.
As it made its turns, the gelatinous surface glowed brighter, one dominant color sprouted from its head in misshapen splotches, spreading all over the creature’s body until it was coated in varying shades of blue. 
It stopped right in front of Wei Ying, wiggling its body back-and-forth, tendrils swishing in the air with every sway, as if it were showing off.
Is it…trying to say we match?
“Uhh…It looks good on you..?” Wei Ying mumbled, feeling ridiculous after saying that. Maybe he should get his head checked. Who knows if this thing even understands human-speech.
The jellyfish-thing-spirit(?) trembled excitedly, its bell-shaped body inflating the way a child would proudly puff out their chest after winning a silly game.
Its odd behavior felt somewhat endearing that Wei Ying couldn’t help the breathless chuckle from coming out. The tension between his shoulders easing. 
Finally, a moment of sweetness in the midst of all the muffled bitterness and uncertainty that threatened to swallow him whole.
The jellyfish drifted closer, gingerly wrapping itself around his arm, having learnt its lesson on not to startle him. 
It started tugging him away from the windows, Wei Ying let it guide him to a different hallway. Adding its own bright light among the dim crystals’ glow decorating their path.
Must’ve taken too long. Black Water probably sent this thing to come find me. He thought, studying the spirit. Whilst its body seemed wet and cool, none of that dampness seeped into his new robes and it seemed much more approachable compared to the other sea creatures under his new husband’s command.
Hopefully those bonefish weren’t also air-swimmers like his companion here. Wei Ying would rather have meters’ thick glass between him and them whenever they choose to grace him with their fleshless presence, thank you very much. 
“You know���out of all the grotesqueries I’ve seen in this place, you are by far the most friendly-looking. Maybe I can convince my lord husband to let me keep you.” Wei Ying mused out loud, mostly to fill in the silence. 
The creature appeared to approve of the idea, judging by how it eagerly squeezed itself around his arm, practically hugging the limb.
They eventually stopped at a set of doors that were easily double the size of the previous ones Wei Ying had seen. He took a moment to study the iconography, an emperor, his wife and what looked like their two daughters, in the midst of a grand feast. Oddly enough, the seat meant for the heir was left empty.
The dining hall. 
He’s in there. 
The jellyfish gently detached itself from him, hovering by his side now. Beads of sweat ran their cold fingers down his back. 
It wasn’t the journey that made Wei Ying’s heart constrict, but what lay waiting for him at the end. He took a deep breath and was about to knock on the door, to wait for the inevitable clipped voice to tell him to ‘enter’.
His new companion stopped him, softly nudging away his raised fist. The creature brushed one of its coils against the grey surface, taking cues from Wei Ying as if it were his own personal servant, wanting to open the door for him.
(You need not stand on ceremony nor feel like a stranger in your own home. His lord husband would eventually remark to Wei Ying later on in their marriage, a harsh edge lurking beneath whispered-tones. You are this Manor’s master just as much as me. Act like it.)
The colossal doors let out a low yawn as they split down the middle and Wei Ying was bombarded by an assortment of scents. 
The savoury aroma of smoked fish and chicken roasted on a spit, coupled with whiffs of enriching herbs and seasonings, their distinct citrus notes lively and invigorating, titillating Wei Ying’s vacant stomach. Traces of floral scents interwoven with the striking, yet delectable smell of freshly baked cakes that he could almost feel their honeyed flavours dance across the surface of his tongue. The heady fragrance of various wines, their familiar woodsy undertones tickling his nostrils. 
Wei Ying’s mouth started watering. Very much aware of the fact that hadn’t eaten in hours.
He clenched his hands, digging his fingernails into his palms to get himself back to focus.
A great, pillarless chamber capable of hosting a great army while also leaving plenty of room for servants to scurry around at their beck and call. Yet, there was only one Western-style long table as opposed to the standard low dining tables arranged in neat rows. 
And a lone occupant sitting at the helm.
Their eyes locked as his host stood and Wei Ying felt all mental faculties screech to a grinding halt.
Wei Ying needed a moment to simply take in this Calamity, this man, this husband of his…..
He had thought those molten pools of gold for eyes would be the most bewitching feature, he couldn’t be more wrong. Flawless ivory-white skin that would enrage even the most regal of princesses, a deceptively wiry frame that reminded Wei Ying of a fragile willow branch, but knew he should never take it at face value. A smooth mouth and brow with no laugh lines or forehead wrinkles to be found, perfectly straight nose, pointed ears and sharp angular features, as if he were an impeccable bust cut and carved from the purest of jades, straight ink-black hair that flowed downwards to the small of his back. 
The top of those dark locks were encircled by a golden dragon-shaped guan, holding a gleaming pearl between its jaws. The dragon looked as if it were swallowing the moon. A groom’s wedding robes that were mostly red, embroidered in golden thread were majestic phoenixes, their bright wings spread in triumph, a stark contrast to the vermillion outer robes, whereas the inner robe seemed to be made of a different material all-together, of small, rigid plates seamlessly overlapping each other, reminding Wei Ying of finely crafted chain-mail or fish scales. The top of the inner robe seemed to be a red that matched the outer, yet as it flowed downwards, the shade changed from vermillion to ruby, to mahogany until the slitted edges appeared as if they were dipped in ink. Completed with a pure black belt studded with squared-golden plates that had water dragon motifs engraved into the precious metal, red and white pearls artfully looped around the belt, their tail ends dangling from it like chains. 
The surface of Wei Ying’s tongue had suddenly gone dry, breath shuddering, struggling to swallow around the lump in his throat.
What the hell was that back at the cliff?! There…..there’s no way that this is what he actually looks like, right?!
Yes! Yes! That’s right! Ghosts and demons can be such vain creatures….only shifting into forms that suit their own self-absorbed tastes…. 
So caught up in his new groom’s appearance, he almost didn’t register the other man glide his way towards him till there was only a foot of space between them. Golden eyes meticulously studied his form. 
Black Water started speaking.
His mouth is moving! He’s talking to you! Snap out of it, Wei Wuxian! 
“-any discomfort?” 
Wei Ying blinked owlishly and in his infinite wisdom decided to reply back to the clear question with a:
“Huh…?”
That smooth brow furrowed in what looked like slight concern, but Wei Ying was sure it was annoyance. Their first exchange and he was already making a fool of himself. 
Wonderful.
Maybe he needs to start laying it on thick? Does he have to make himself look pitiful to this Ghost King and beg his forgiveness for not paying attention? Should he put on a coquettish mask? Start cooing and twittering like a brainless little bird?
Many men never tire from listening to songs that boast of how great and merciful they are. Was Black Water one of those men?
The older male stepped right into his space, close to the point that they were almost nose-to-nose. Wei Ying stiffened, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t dig himself a deeper grave.
He shut his eyes.
Might as well get it over with….
Fully expecting Black Water to steal a kiss -along with whatever else that was demanded of him- Wei Ying instead felt a slim finger delicately stroke his now-healed temple in what almost felt like a lover’s caress. 
Moonstone eyes fluttered open, confused.
Black Water wasn’t even looking at him. Too occupied in assessing whatever damage was left to meet his new bride’s perplexed gaze.
“I was asking if your injuries are still causing you any discomfort? Healing has never exactly been my specialty.” He answered Wei Ying’s poorly phrased question. His words quiet and rich with a touch of gruffness, the deep bass almost caused his skin to vibrate from how close both their faces were. 
Wei Ying’s breath hitched, goosebumps breaking out for a different reason now.
Frowning at Wei Ying’s lack of response, Black Water started reaching for his wrists to inspect them.
“No need for that!” He blurted, stuffing his hands inside the wide sleeves of his robes, like frightened snails ducking back into their shells. He rocked backwards, balancing his weight on his heels, hoping Black Water wouldn’t notice his ‘subtle’ attempt at giving himself more space. 
Doing what he does best, Wei Ying plasters on his winning smile and starts blathering:
“Lao Gong is so proficient! More than capable of erasing every scrap and bruise on this delicate wife!” 
“.........”
The longer the silence went on, the more Wei Ying could feel his very soul start wilting, like a plucked flower that was left to dry out in the sun for too long. 
The elder’s brow furrowed deeper as a complicated look crossed his face, but Wei Ying couldn’t possibly discern if Black Water was pleased with the compliment or not. He might have better luck deciphering the symbolic meaning behind every carving that he walked past in his nerve-wracking journey to get here.
Their sudden muteness could have gone on indefinitely were it not for the abrupt break in tension.
A mortifying gurgle rumbled through the lofty chamber, its echoes reverberating back to Wei Ying’s burning ears.
Wei Ying slapped a hand on his hollowed stomach, as if that would silence its cries for food. He started praying for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
Oh. Just put me out of my misery already…! 
“Pfff-!” Black Water just barely managed to stop his laughter from escaping. Covering his mouth and giving an utterly convincing performance of ‘Oh, dear! It seems I’ve suddenly got the coughs!’. 
Laugh it up now , you bully! Wei Ying mentally whined. What kind of host stuffs his gullet while leaving his guest, his new wife , to wander around his home without at least feeding them first?! 
If Wei Ying weren’t keeping himself in check, he would’ve thrown a fit and cussed out Black Water straight to his face. So focused was he on not vocalising his wounded pride, that Wei Ying couldn’t stop his lips from pouting slightly.
Noticing his new bride’s upset, He Xuan promptly wiped away any traces of humour on his face and cleared his throat. 
“What a relief. It seems I’m not the only one with a voracious appetite.” He gestures to the awaiting feast. “After you, Lao Po. ”  
End of Part I.
Worldbuilding Notes for this AU:
1. WWX DOES indeed have some cultivation training, but it's half-assed and incomplete. Essentially a hodgepodge between some techniques his parents taught him, tips that he got from some generous rogue cultivators and what he learned on his own. He barely has any knowledge of ghosts, demons and anything spiritual-beast related. Good thing he married a scholar!
2. The five fishing villages are a direct homage to the five clans in MDZS:
Lianhua = Lotus Flower/Jiang Clan
Huīshuǐ = Grey Water/Nie Clan
Lántiān = Blue Skies/Lan Clan
Rìluò = Sunset/Wen Clan
Jinyǔmáo = Gold Feather/Jin Clan
3. Before ya'll got on my case and ask how the hell did HX acquire all those expensive jewellery/robes, etc. The sea IS his domain. I can totally see him ordering his Bonefish to gather all the oysters and mussels they could find for the pearls. The rest have an in-universe explanation and/or HX just increased his debt to HC tenfold.
4. Lao Gong = Husband / Lao Po = Wife
My justifications for the jellyfish-spirit...? WWX needs a friend. Ya'll want him to wander around Nether Water Manor all by his lonesome while hubby's out..? Even XL can just go talk to Yin Yu and/or Ghost City residents whenever HC's not around!!
WWX is confused. WWX is panicking. He be asking: "Should I be wary of this man or jump his bones...?" Who knows?
Now. This whole thing was mainly setup, but there ARE plot-related reasons as to WHY there's a ritual and why HX seems completely okay with his marriage to WWX specifically. If ya managed to catch some of the hints, congrats. If not, stick around for the next instalment.
Hope you enjoyed! If ya did, please leave a like/comment! Many thanks~
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zkyfall · 2 months ago
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whatever happens in s2 at least my eyes are blessed with the best character designs. can't wait for the crackshipping to start
ep 3 post credit under cut:
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sadiegirl2021 · 10 months ago
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Crackships and fanfic recs:
Rhys and Elain - A Gentle Passion (WIP) or Prospective Parents (WIP) or Trapped Under the Lake (Check TW)
Gwyn and Elain - shameless plug of my own fic - Watermelon Sugar
Feyre and Lucien - A Court of Frost and Embers (WIP)
Azriel, Lucien and Elain - your hands are gravity, my hands are tied or the steamy threesome in A Little Bit of Light Reading
Cassian, Nesta, Azriel & Gwyn - More Hands Mean Less Work
Cassian, Azriel, Rhys and Feyre - Steamy Punishment
Azriel and Feysand's daughter - A Court of Light and Shadow (WIP)
Give me your favourite crackships from the SJM universe. I don’t care how wild they are, I just want to giggle and kick my feet.
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sillylittleguy420 · 16 days ago
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I'm not usually someone who indulges in crackships - I'm a vanilla motherfucker really and truly, but if there's ONE crackship that I'm ride or die for, it's without a fucking doubt ShinoMaki. Their personalities mesh extremely well, they'd bounce off each other extraordinarily: the Trauma bonding, the banter, the intense training sessions - like this is some primo stuff, I'm genuinely surprised there isn't already a fic about it, I'm probably gonna have to write it myself. Even in a purely platonic sense I think they'd be tight as hell - they both desperately need that support network that really only the other can provide? Even if it'd take a while for both of them to get to that point - even if it has to be forced by some event out of their hands, after that point they'd be thick as thieves. Like they line-up so well, it's unbelievable. Having someone to talk with that can truly and genuinely understand your plight is a blessing - like it's good when people listen, even if they don't understand; but it's that solidarity that forges that bond in fire, even if it's unspoken - which it likely would be with these two. . . And Jesus Christ these motherfuckers need it so badly. God put them in two different franchises because they'd be an unstoppable duo.
Edit: To add onto this - genuinely? There's a lot there - Even aside from the obvious Dead Sister angst, there's the "Having to push yourself harder than everyone else due to your horrific limitations" thing. Sure, Maki's a physical beast thanks to the Heavenly Restriction, but having a fat goose egg for Cursed Energy is still one hell of a hurdle to jump through, and it clearly earns her no respect - And Shinobu had to crawl and gnaw her way up to the top lacking the simple ability to cut off a head, and it clearly BOTHERS her.
I want you to put yourself in both of their shoes - god especially SHINOBU?? Maki's got swagger, she's got confidence, raw hands? She's beating everyone's ass - but Shinobu? Girl is surrounded by super human freaks - comparatively she's normal? Imagine having to stab someone's vitals and poison them to kill a bitch, meanwhile Captain Ball and Chain (Who you respect deeply) can turn a Demon into fine dust by flexing at them. They're both surrounded by exceptional talent, and they're lacking something crucial - although both at the Pinnacle despite it. The Dead Sister things? Other people they KNOW can relate to that, but being """genetically inferior?""" Getting to the top via raw talent despite the overwhelming disadvantages and being faced with even higher peaks you'll never reach because of circumstances out of your control? That's something very unique to them, and neither really have anyone to relate with or understand on that level.
Edit:Edit: because I can't stop myself apparently: I think the beauty of the dynamic...romantic or not is that STRONG foundation of solidarity and even acceptance - of looking out for someone who is just like you. Looking in the mirror and having that strong urge to help your reflection in a way you wish you could help yourself. Shinobu insisting, Maki chastising, both of them saying they don't need help but the other refusing to hear it. The rock and the hard place smashing into each other and actually cracking a bit.
I could honestly go on about this for hours, shit I might. This is one of the my five crackships for a reason, it's good soul healing shit.
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juno-stuffs · 1 month ago
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so my hand slipped and while it did it made me search every nook and cranny of the epic fandom for every single existing wlw ship i could find and made me draw three so far + my ramblings
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-- circe x penelope (cirpen/cirlope) (i personally prefer 'cirlope' but that's just me :])
was gonna put this in the "technically doesn't count" section since i first saw this ship with circe the book and not epic. but then i saw an epic version of this ship on tiktok so...fuck it we ball.
i luh luh love this ship in circe (the book). in epic, it's cool. i think they'd be a good duo, romantic or not tbh. also, if you read circe the book and ship penelope and circe in that book, go to ao3 and read the circe and penelope fics. i dunno why, but the writers in that scene are like sappho reencarnates? i dunno, they're great.
(also penelope had more sexual tension with circe than telemachus did in that book fight me /not srs)
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-- circe x scylla
BOO!! TOXIC YURI JUMPSCARE! /silly
not the biggest fan of toxic yuri, which is pretty much this ship, but i felt very inclined to include these two. i don't have much to say about them, though, they're just neato. (btw you'll see these two again but with a plus one.) like with circe and pen, there were fics of them on ao3, but only two. if you do want to read them, i suggest only reading one if you aren't into freaky things. because one is normal and the other is like if circe got in on the manwhore au but like worse even by the mw au standards so...yeah. not for the squeamish.
also, if you saw my other scylla doodles, i made scylla's hair more wavy since she was looking a little too much like penelope. also gave her scales n shit so. good for her.
tbh i don't like drawing characters with long black hair, especially straight long black hair since i used to have that type of hair and every time i drew a character with that hair people would go: 'oh is that you' NO. SHUT UP. NO IT'S NOT.
but it's okay because i shaved my head and now i'm bald.
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-- athena x penelope (bro i don fukin kno)(penna? that's just a name)(a name that gives marker brand but whatever)(athelope sounds like/looks like someone tried to say/spell antelope and fucked up)
a little break from circe. i love my girl circe but damn bitch, don't gotta collect all of them. you in epic, not pokemon. circe is in like 90% of these (i'm not fact checking that). probably since she is the female character with the most screen time, save for athena. even so, not only is circe more appealing to the sapphic gaze, she is easy to put in a wlw setting whereas athena is difficult to put in a romantic setting period. but when athena is, it's typically with a woman, so
found this one in an odysseus x tiresias fanfic on ao3
...
anygays. yeah, they can weave together and shit. penelope would love owls imo but maybe that's just me.
also they're both kind of gray themed characters? eh, actually, i dunno, penelope just gives gray but, again, that might just be me.
if we wanna get into odyssey (which tbh i don't really wanna do since I prefer separating epic and odyssey), athena blessed penelope with sleep often, which is sweet. she also did that to odysseus but this ain't about him right now.
i have a little more but i was too lazy to take a pic of it so. i didn't.
anywompwomp, more to come. (also if you have any wlw epic ships, crackship or not, maybe one of the characters aren't even in epic, send an ask and i'll probably doodle it too :])
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kindred-spirit-93 · 19 days ago
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ulysses dies at dawn
good god this was quite the ride. thoughts!!
i walked in knowing nothing except its cyberpunk setting and gfdsdfgfdasdfsdf mind successfully blown
i love the narration so much. idk its refreshing to me at least in music. very creative and effective way to present info. big fan :D
i am very musically illiterate lol so apologies in advance, but the genre at first listen to me instantly made me think of bluegrass.
listen theres a violin and a banjo esque intrument (sounds like a shamisen to me lol) its close enough
anyway absolutely brilliant music, i like the juxtaposition of a futuristic premise & a somewhat older more grounded music style (i want to say country but i also dont want to be hunted down lol)
favourite songs are broken hahse horse and sunrise lol
my jaw dropped when the horse was scanned for everyhting including hidden soldiers (i wont spoil too much pls go listen) but there was a thing and it made everyone do things and *combusts*
interesting choice of characters! heracles orpheus ariadne and oedipus. i need art of them in 3 piece pinstripe suits nowwwww
took me a minute to get the mf joke lmao. nearly choked
orpheus my poor boi omg all he wants is his girl back :')
fuck u theseus. i feel bad for ariadne honestly. i wonder if in another reality she and dio also had something?
hades! being the villain isnt my favourite thing bc im biased as hell, but i do love the idea of him orchestrating shit for his amusement
the worldbuilding itself is amazing btw, the concept of acheron is quite fascinating and very sinister.
zeus is the worst omg eugh. the olympians are a mafia family lol
i love calypso having a bar idk why its such a funny concept to me. in my mind she and antinous own the place lol (epic crackship crossover no one can stop meeeee)
penelope my beloved. the end hit me like a truck. it was pretty fast like i barely had time to register the events as the story progressed (also i was studying so half my brain was elsewhere lol)
sunrise is the best song ever my ears have been blessed. the melody is ethereal i can literally hear the leaves rustling and feel the faint sunlight
according to the wiki the tree is an oak and ngl idve preferred olive but ig u cant have everything in life lol
the imagery is on another level. i never wished i could draw & animate so much in my life. i want to draw ulysses' last moments, crawling to the roots of the tree under which her remains rest
united once more in death as they were in life :')))))))
trying really hard to stay sane u guys and its getting harder augh
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