#blaze this post?

[rexuality]

one time I was with my siblings at a flea market and someone offered me a free hhc sample edible in which I 1) instantly and stupidly said yes because free 2) immediately forgot that I had done this because my attention was solely on obtaining items and objects

an hour later I was sitting there with my siblings at Outback Steakhouse. My sister Michelle answers the phone for a business call. We are mostly in bloomin onion bliss but the table across from us is loud and their child won’t stop chanting “who’s that Pokémon? IT’S PIKACHU” like they are trying to summon him to the restaurant. We get our food, Michelle is still talking to a client, and all of a sudden my chest feels SO tight. My limbs feel heavy and numb. I feel like I am moving through water. I turn to my sister and I say, “Alexis…… look up symptoms of a heart attack…. In women” her eyes widen in terror, she glances at Michelle for help. Michelle, a veteran of festivals, raves, and blackout partying, instantly eyes me with suspicion but continues her call. I scan the list on Lexi’s phone. I do not see “heavy feet” as a symptom but I’m certain I will be dead soon. My brother Julian is silent and frozen in which he later described as “autistic shock”

I get up, clutching my chest, hobbling to the door. The loud family immediately quiets, the child stops screaming about pikachu. I know I’m making a scene but it doesn’t matter, I don’t want to die inside the Outback Steakhouse, I want to die in its parking lot instead. I leave, Michelle pays, Alexis calls 911. They all meet me outside, their meals unfinished. Michelle is finally off her call, not knowing what is happening, but so used to bullshit that she cannot be bothered to take me seriously. As Lexi is on the phone I am sitting on a bench reflecting on my life, wishing it had ended on a more poetic note. Then I hear the operator ask Alexis, “what did your sister eat?” And she says, while crying, “a bloomin onion! and also a very small edible from the flea market”

in that instant I erupted from the depths of my mortal spiraling and weed addled pleadings with death and I say,

“THE EDIBLE. ALEXIS HANG UP THE PHONE I AM JUST REALLY HIGH”

She hangs up and instantly everyone is simultaneously relieved and annoyed with me, and we all run to Michelle’s car. Minutes later, we watch a cop car pull up to the restaurant. I watch in complete shame and start sobbing, “I’m the oldest, I’m supposed to be a role model for you all.” They say, “literally who cares, no one asked you to be” and we drive to Michelle’s apartment where I guess I was in a stage of being obliterated high that all I could do was weep and apologize for my atrocious, poor eldest sibling behavior that no one gave a fuck about.

Then my husband and my girlfriend picked me up and it felt like the angels had come. And I slept the rest of the day.

My siblings never forgave me. Not because I got high from an unknown substance from a fucking flea market booth, but because I had them alarmed enough to not finish their food and they “LEFT IT THERE, NOT EVEN A TO-GO BOX”

and that’s the story of how I can never go back to Outback Steakhouse

[nudityandnerdery]

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

[the-phantom-peach]

So I saw Sonic Movie 3

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

Of the 19 hijackers who carried out the Sept 11 attacks:

15 were from Saudi Arabia (a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

2 were from the United Arab Emirates (also a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

1 was from Egypt, 1 from Lebanon.

None of the hijackers were from Iraq.

None of the Sept 11 hijackers were Iraqi.

None of the 9/11 hijackers were from Iraq.

[junewild]

what do you say to a trans person who’s sharing after-surgery pics?

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

[dapper-lil-arts]

Can we talk about the kind of woman Applejack attracts.

[pebblethief]

This is Irk, a baby tortle bard off on his first adventure!

He's very excited and optimistic and he inspires people by drawing them little pictures

his plushie is called Gim

[hishighnesstheprincess]

I would apologize for the shitty editing but I think it improves the meme in all honesty

[herbertwest]

As ironic as it would be, I am not going to blaze this poll, so maybe spread it around organically.

[cirrus-grey]

[ephemeriee]

nothing quite like a rat graffitied in a toilet

[263adder]

IMPORTANT PSA

Please share for UK residents!

The public alert will go off on Sunday 23rd April at 3PM (15:00) BST.

The decision to issue the alert was made against the advice of NGOs who warned this could put vulnerable people in danger. Please spread the message.

[heyhoneylook]

Happy 18th Birthday, Rosie!

Rosie enjoying a catnip-filled birthday present

Rosie drools when she's happy; here is the couch cover after brushing her (her favorite activity)

One of her favorite passtimes is greeting the neighborhood pigeons

Taking it easy in an afternoon sunbeam

Enjoying catnip

Watching for threats from atop her perch

Gotta keep those ears clean...

...and those beans moistened!

In her "bedroom" (a doghouse we keep indoors)

Rosie's best advice: take lots of naps and eat lots of treats on your birthday!

Everyone please wish Rosie a happy 18th birthday!

[waterme-stories]

She is

17!

so I am paying $10 to make you look at her :3

[rosvosektori]

fiery steps