#black mental health stigma

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

many of us don't

[alwaysenoughproject]

Mental Health Book Recommendations

PLEASE READ MORE ON TW'S OF EACH BOOK OF INTEREST

YOU MATTER, ALWAYS. YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH💙

[know4life]

Knowledge Cypher: Addressing Pre-existing Conditions & Mental Health Stigma...

The primary objective of the Knowledge Cypher forums is to expedite this process and foster greater acceptance by providing widespread access to professional mental health and Wellness experts; well-trained physicians, personal trainers, and life coaches.

As we are all aware, mental health and wellness have emerged as critical concerns within the black community. Despite the gradual erosion of the stigma associated with seeking therapy, whether it involves consulting mental health professionals or visiting physicians for physical ailments, we are still at the nascent stage of this transformative process. https://know4life.net

Support Knowledge for LIFE by purchasing "Immunity Empowerment," the essential guide to understanding and strengthening the immune system. With the COVID-19 pandemic serving as a stark reminder of the importance of immunity, this book is a timely resource that provides both foundational knowledge and actionable advice for enhancing overall health (https://tinyurl.com/Amaz-ImmunityEmpowerment

[black-mental-health-matters]

and more resources ...

Melanin and Mental Health Podcast

Therapy for Black Girls Podcast

Therapy for Black Girls Blog

Rest for Resistance Webzine

Black & EMPOWERed

Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective – Online Workshops for Black Male Mental Health

Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective – Online Workshops on Black Trans Mental Health

Therapy for Black Men Articles Related to Black Male Mental Health

Melanin and Mental Health Database

Therapy for Black Girls Database

Boris L Henson Foundation Database

Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective

National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Database

Therapy for Black Men Database

Loveland Foundation

To Write Love on Her Arms financial assistance

[blackbackedjackal]

You know I've been feeling a little anxious bc Captain's werewolf form and June's shadowy version of her werewolf form look a lot a like and I always hope no one accuses either of us of design theft like it happened to me with one of my old characters, though I made his werewolf form in like 2020. June is cool as hell (if not cooler) I wouldn't want someone to be a jerk about it. Maybe I should draw them together shaking hands as a preventive measure lol

Heya! I hope this is ok to post but please don't worry about it! June's design is based off of other (mostly animated) werewolf designs I liked, but was given meaning through her story and the reason as to /why/ her form looks a certain way.

It's not that she's just shadowy, it's an intentional visual representation of black trauma. There's are cultural and social stigmas of Black people being systematically denied access to mental health resources or being told that they're just "lazy" or "crazy" or "faking it". June's form is altered by her mental/emotional state, it's what she /believes/ she is due to her past trauma and her story is, in part, learning deal with her trauma in a healthy way.

June's form is also based on the lesser known theories that The Beast of Gévaudan (which June is related to via her lycan lineage) was either a product of mass hysteria from the high number of wolf attacks in the region or was potentially a serial killer. The way the beast is often described (black fur, red lips, white/yellowed eyes and teeth) is similar to racist depictions of Black people in the past. I used this as a basis for designing her form. It's the intention and her story that's important, followed by visuals that are found within the werewolf genre and outside of it.

I'm a little too tired to go more in-depth but I'll leave this quote from the Jim Crow museum:

The mission of the Jim Crow Museum is straightforward: use items of intolerance to teach tolerance. We examine the historical patterns of race relations and the origins and consequences of racist depictions. The aim is to engage visitors in open and honest dialogues about this country's racial history...The Jim Crow Museum is founded on the belief that open, honest, even painful discussions about race are necessary to avoid yesterday's mistakes.

June's story is about racism. It's about intolerance towards black queer folk. It's about how Black people (especially black women) have to suffer under a system that denies them mental health resources, resulting in many Black people turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Her design was me intentionally marrying old werewolf motifs with a different perspective on the werewolf genre (since even today is it still mostly a white space). There's a stark difference to me when someone comes up with a similar design independently vs when someone is actively lifting direct inspiration from my work and twisting the meaning in the process.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi everyone,

It’s been a while since I posted any articles, so I wanted to share one I found about the similarities and differences between autism and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

According to the article:

Various research has shown an overlap between BPD and autism. A 2024 study from the Brighton and Sussex Medical School in the United Kingdom found that not only is there an overlap in the conditions, but that misdiagnosis of the conditions can have a significant effect on the individual.

The researchers found several key issues that came from a misdiagnosis. These key findings included:

Harmful treatment: Certain treatments for BPD, such as “masking,” were shown to be harmful to individuals with a misdiagnosis. Masking involves hiding certain traits, specifically autistic traits. This was linked to increased suicidal ideation and a feeling of powerlessness. Individuals felt they could not change the BPD diagnosis, even though they thought it was not correct.

Stigma: Individuals who received a misdiagnosis of BPD felt it introduced a certain amount of stigma and diagnostic overshadowing. It led to healthcare professionals neglecting the true underlying issues and imposing treatments that were unhelpful and potentially detrimental.

Diagnostic barriers: Individuals found there were substantial barriers to receiving autism assessments after receiving a BPD diagnosis. This delayed appropriate support.

One of the main findings of this research was that those who did receive a correct diagnosis felt it was “life changing.” It gave them access to proper support, which significantly improved their well-being and mental health.

BPD and autism key similarities

There are several key similarities between BPD and autism, including:

emotional dysregulation, which may involveTrusted Source:

intense mood changes

difficulty managing emotions

impulsivity

social difficulties, which may involve:

fear of abandonment

difficulty with interpersonal relationships

difficulty understanding other’s emotions

communication issues, which may involve:

difficulty understanding social cues

difficulty forming relationships

rigid thinking patterns, which may involve:

black-and-white thinking or viewing situations and people as all “good” or all “bad”

rigid routines, specific interests, and rituals

difficulty accepting and adapting to change

difficulty navigating complex social situations

Learn more about borderline personality disorder.

BPD and autism key differences:

Even though there is an overlap between BPD and autism, they are two separate conditions.

BPD is a personality disorder characterized by impulsive behavior, unstable emotions, and an unstable sense of self. Autism is a neurological and developmental condition that involves repetitive behaviors, challenges in social skills, and nonverbal communication.

I’ll leave the full article below in case anyone wants to read it:

[dearestspirit]

a note heard in heaven - 00 (prologue)

mizu x fem!reader | au based on the film the handmaiden | word count: 1,294 | warnings: mdni. this series will contain sexual and dark themes, including: abuse, sex, sexual assault/harrasment, period typical misogyny, murder, allusions to suicide, and period typical stigmas against mental health. series masterlist | next part

There’s something to be said about opposites attracting; it seems Mizu’s life has led her to more run-ins with cushy, uptight rich people than she’d like to count. So when a con-man named Taigen finds his way to the lodging she shares with her ‘friends’- as in, a bunch of criminals dealing in forgery- asking her to play the part of handmaiden to another snob? Convince you to marry him, and then ship you off to where you’re never heard from again? The inheritance going to your absolutely grieving husband, of course, then to be split with her receiving half. She’s quick to scoff in his face. Until Taigen, deceivingly taking on the title of The Count to charm you, shows her just how much money you’ve been left to inherit. Even half of that sum is enough to make anyone do anything. Still, the back of her prideful mind nagged her with how demeaning the task was. The other part: the down in the dirt, tired of cleaning messes she didn’t make, re-sewing clothes from her childhood to keep using part, knew this was her one opportunity. Someone born like her rarely had a shot at anything worthwhile.

It was no question that in a few days time, she’d find herself alone in a carriage making its way to your estate. She knows the game she has to play, and she swears she’s winning before she even sees you.

Women like you are all too easily captivated by men like Taigen, she posits. You’ve already been married off to a wealthy man– one much too old for you, having lived on his property since a young age. From what she’s heard, you’ve barely ever set a foot outside those walls. That loneliness? A weak point, perfect to deliver a final blow to. Taigen was closer to your age, attractive, and could at least pretend to have some sort of importance. Mizu would act as something of a cupid. Set you on the right path, to a man with a good heart… she doubted it’d take even a week to get you to crumble in his arms, if your current husband’s behavior was anything to go by.

It takes a long journey to make it to your residence. Buried away in pitch black depths of forested land, the sense of isolation is cold. That chill sits in Mizu’s chest, keeping her on guard. A few soldiers halt her and her guide. Eyes peer in, leering and skeptical. With a few words from the coachman, they’re easily cleared and sent inside. She finds some unnecessary task to busy herself with, easing her nerves; counting the bumps in the dirt path until the horses reach the front door.

Thirty-seven. There’s thirty-seven uneven jostles of the cart before Mizu steps out, greeted by an older woman holding a lantern. Taigen had briefly informed her of the elder. She, Madame Kaji, was the most established housekeeper on the property. She took in all of the maid girls, training them and making them properly useful. A warning echoed in his statement of her: “She’s strict. Do not fuck up around her, or you’ll be scraps for wild animals to feast on and our whole operation goes up in flames.”

As if she would really believe that.

She wouldn’t.

Until the woman walked on ahead, maneuvering through the home with ease. As if she’d escorted thousands of to-be handmaidens through here. Mizu grunted, taking a few large jogs in order to catch up with the madam. This place was already testing her patience, her disinterest palpable.

“I’m surprised that your recommendation from The Count was taken so seriously, considering your apparent… circumstances of birth. Though he assured me your experience far outweighs any problems that may arise from such a condition,” Madame Kaji looked at Mizu only from the corner of her eye, unwilling to look directly. “The Lord’s main house is made up of two wings which you will familiarize yourself with. Then, the library. There’s also the servant’s quarters, but you won’t be using those as the Lady’s handmaiden.”

Mizu follows, lugging her belongings behind her wearily. Travel had been long, her body ached from sitting in that cramped carriage cabin, and now she had to listen to this borderline hag rattle off rules to her. All she has to do is be polite and meet your way too high standards, right? Who cares who the tea leaves go to, what soap must be left over? It was all meaningless etiquette so that when the poor somehow didn’t play by these rich rules, you could sneer and laugh in their faces. Mizu wanted nothing more than to climb into her new bed and sleep. Sleep until maybe she didn’t regret this decision any more.

Though, her regrets start to dwindle as she’s led through the grand hallways. Entire staircases bigger than any room she’s ever been in, exquisite paintings lining every empty inch of wall space they could, and various ancient relics on display made her shudder. The opulence of it all was astounding. Her whole bloodline– past, present, and future– would never see the amount of riches that you and your husband bask in. Honestly, if she weren’t trying to stay in the good graces of Madame Kaji, she’d let out a snort at how overdone the decor is.

She’s taken through a few more sliding doors, more Japanese style than Western, until Kaji stops in her tracks. Nodding her head to the left, she points Mizu in the direction of your door.

“This is where the Lady sleeps, and this,” she directs Mizu’s attention to the small chamber across from your doors. “is where you’ll be sleeping. The Lady often has nightmares, which you will attend to her during. It’s best to keep you close.”

Mizu nods, opening the door of the compartment. She can feel her eye twitch. It’s barely more than a glorified cabinet. The space contains only a wooden slab with a bedroll and pillow on it. There’s space under for her to put her shoes and luggage, but little else. Before she knows it, Madame Kaji has left her behind, apparently satisfied with that being the end of her tour. Mizu’s head lands against the door of her ‘room’ with a thump. She makes quick work of her shoes, shuffling them under the bed, along with the rest of her things.

It’s strange, though. She finds herself unable to lay, rather, turning herself around to face your quarters. Her hands tremble, shakily trying to pry your door open just a tad. She closes one eye, doing her best to peer in.

Moonlight streams in through your large windows, illuminating you in a heavenly glow. She can’t quite see your face from where she stands, but she can make out your figure underneath white sheets. She takes another moment to watch. Her breath practically wracks through her body, as if it’s dawning on her, her sudden proximity to you. Never had she been in the presence of someone so… unattainable, or otherworldly, almost. Somewhere in the house, a thud resounds loudly. Mizu nearly jumps out of her skin, shutting your door in an instant. Chest heaving and mouth dry, she settles herself into her compartment. Dragging her hand down her face, she tries to get her heart to relax. Taking one last glance towards you, your room, she finally flops back against the hard bedroll, agonizing over the uncomfortable nature of it. Exhaustion seeps into her muscles, eyes easily drooping shut. All she can do is hope the rest she gets tonight prepares her for the day ahead.

It won’t.

Because it isn’t long until a bloodcurdling scream rips through the house.

a/n: i usually put my authors note up top, but this one is probably gonna be egregiously long. this is just a prologue, but i hope it’s an exciting enough start to something i’m so thrilled to be writing. it overjoys me that people showed so much interest in the idea. the plot of the handmaiden is one that means a lot to me. i can’t wait to explore mizu’s character through the lens of that plot. with the content this story is going to be diving into, i really want to perfect it and take my time on it, so please bear with me if it takes a while to get through and complete. right now, it’s looking like the series might be 6-9 parts, not including a prologue or epilogue. i can’t guarantee anything, but once part one is out i’d like to upload at least one part a week, possibly two. also, the count is taigen because due to such a huge involvement the count has in the story of the handmaiden, it’ll be easier reading to make it a known character than continuously referring to him as a vague male character. i do actually like taigen as a character, promise. also, i know the handmaiden takes place in japan occupied korea, but this will simply take place in japan. i’m not the most historically knowledgeable, so the setting will probably lean more towards blue eye samurai in terms of time period, dress, etc. it may end up being some weird mish-mash situation, but i’ll do my best to have it at least flow well. anyway, thank you for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts!!

[wishcamper]

Nesta, Interrupted: gendered perceptions of alcoholism in ACOSF

CW: addiction, sexual assault, gendered violence.

Creds: I’m a licensed counselor with a degree specialization in treating addiction. I have career experience with multiple modes of mental health, trauma, and substance use treatment in women-specific carceral, institutional, and healthcare settings. And I know anyone can come on the internet and say that, but I pinky promise.

The short version:

ACOSF stigmatizes alcoholism in line with cultural standards.

Western culture feels differently about female and male alcoholics due to systemic sexism, and thus treats them differently.

Women’s experience of alcoholism is often compounded by or even a result of systemic factors and intersectional identity.

Nesta’s treatment in ACOSF, while repugnant, is in many ways very accurate of attitudes today.

(I’ll be using “women/men” and “male/female” to denote cis afab and amab people. Little research exists on the experiences of queer, nonbinary and gender expansive considerations in addiction and recovery, which is a fuckin’ shame. Studies are also largely conducted with white participants due to enormous barriers to treatment for Black, Indigenous, and people of color, so this convo is inherently incomplete where it neglects those intersections.)

Okay, first things first: ACOSF is a book that stigmatizes alcoholism. I will not be taking questions.

The number one thing to understand is that in America, land of Miss Sarah, we are very bad at addiction treatment (tx). Why? Because our culture hates addicts has as stigma around addiction. And female alcoholics bear a very specific set of stigmas based in their identity.

In Susanna Kaysen’s memoir Girl, Interrupted , Kaysen’s character is institutionalized following a non-fatal suicide attempt. When evaluated, she’s diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, that bastion of diagnoses perfect for people (75% of whom are female-identified) who don’t fit into our polite definition of functioning. As the book unfolds, she reflects on how (white) women are often pathologized when they buck against systems of oppression that create the dysfunction in them in the first place. That is not to say other women in the institution are not genuinely in need of help, nor that mental illness in women is always from a systemic wound. But it’s crucial in the treatment of female addiction and mental health disorders to considered the systemic factors of gendered violence and patriarchy, and the attitudes we hold about women who struggle with drinking.

Think about female alcoholics in media. If she’s young, she’s a loose, reckless sl*t looking for trouble and deserving of the reality check when she finds it (Amy Schumer in Trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan in general). Or if the woman are older, they are discarded, or gross, or pathetic, or evil like anyone Faye Dunaway played or Eminem’s mom in 8 Mile (deep cut lol). Men are afforded a much larger spectrum of experiences and struggles - Ernest Hemingway, Leaving Las Vegas, Sideways, the dude from A Star is Born, Frank from Shameless (brilliant), frat boys, blue collar workers, introspective tortured artists, fucking IRON MAN. I could go on forever, but I hope that illustrates the depth and diversity of male-centric stories of alcoholism not often afforded to women.

One of the most empathetic and accurate portrayals of female alcoholism, in my opinion, is in the show Sharp Objects (the book, too, but actually witnessing it makes a difference). We see Amy Adams’ Camille swig vodka from an Evian bottle while fending off vicious, veiled attacks from her verbally and emotionally abusive mother and experiencing flashbacks of teenage sexual assault. We watch her struggle to find emotional safety in her conservative hometown, both wanting to fit in and get out in order to survive. We GET why she drinks and I have trouble blaming her for it even as she wreaks havoc on herself and others. We can see her clawing just to make it out alive, and alcohol is the tool she’s using to do it, for better or worse.

Which is where Nesta enters the chat. When we get our first glimpse of her alcohol use is ACOFAS, it’s portrayed as something everyone knows about but that she’s still mostly keeping it together - her dress is clean, her hair is neatly braided, she doesn’t need a chaperone to show up to a family event. The deterioration between ACOFAS and ACOSF is alarming, and we know that alcoholism is a progressive condition so that tends to happen. Was there a particular trigger? That’s hard to say. Solstice certainly didn’t help, especially with the pressures to perform and conform to the standards of the Inner Circle aka the people in power. I imagine seeing her sisters bouncey and reveling in the world that stole them and killed their father was probably.. tough, to say the least. The barge party seems to be a turning point as well, though this one is more confusing to me. But given the child abuse, extreme poverty, sexual assault, kidnapping, bodily violation, witnessing her father’s murder, almost dying, WAR - and that’s not even to mention essentially becoming a refugee - it would be amazing if she DIDN’T drink. She 100% has complex trauma, and is looking for ways to cope.

No one with full capacity dreams of becoming an addict when they grow up. Addiction, in my professional and personal experience, is largely a strategy for coping with a deeper wound. People don’t drink to feel bad. They drink to feel good, and to survive. Nesta herself is drinking to survive, but it’s having the unfortunate side effect of killing her at the same time. As she slides into active addiction, the thought of her own death may even be comforting, and alcohol in that way is her friend. (There's some interesting research right now framing addiction as an attachment disorder, but I don't know enough to speak on it much.)

So she obviously needs help. That’s not a debate. What is a debate is how the IC should best go about intervening. A variation on the Johnson method is used in ACOSF (the one from the show Intervention) and appears to be successful only because they threaten her if she doesn’t comply. This method has mixed data to support it, and while it’s very good at getting people into tx, there is a higher relapse rate for those who receive it (1). The “family” gathers and tells her the ways she’s hurt them and tell her the consequences if she doesn’t seek the help they’re offering. And again, so many of their reason are the effects on THEM, how she’s making THEM look, not her pain.

The IC’s ignorance and dismissal of her alcoholism in ACOSF is frankly mystifying. Why do they intervene on all the drinking and sexing, anyway? It seems like they’ve been fine enough with it up to this point. But now it's gone too far, not because of her illness but because she is embarrassing them. And I don’t know about you, but between Cassian apparently fucking half of Velaris and Mor’s heavily documented emotional drinking, that’s hard to square. It makes it feel much more likely that they don’t like the way she is coping, that she is not fitting into their picture of who she’s supposed to be. This picture is inherently gendered, because Prythian society and those who live in it have explicit and implicit expectations of gender roles, whether they’ll admit it or not. Cassian and Mor are playing their roles well; Nesta is not.

That leads me to believe it is NOT all about her, but the systemic and internal factors influencing their perception of her and the ways she’s struggling. It’s distasteful to them for her, a female, to be deteriorating this publicly, despite the fact that her very identity makes it harder for her to function in the patriarchy of Prythian. We hear almost exclusively about sexual violence against women, aside from 2 male characters. Past or present assault of women is a major plot point on multiple occasions (Mor, Gwyn, Nesta, Emerie, Rhysands mom and sister, the lady of autumn, Cassians mom, Azriels mom, I could go on). But something about the way Nesta is contending with that is unacceptable, and I believe it’s because she’s not trying to cover up her dysfunction. In prythian, we keep these things hidden- Mor’s assault is never processed in full, Azriel’s mom seems to be alone at Rosehall, priestesses are literally hidden inside a mountain for centuries. Women process trauma alone and in the dark, but Nesta is in the light and she is loud. She is refusing to hide her problems, and the IC don’t like that, whether they realize it or not.

So why don’t the IC understand this? Like I said earlier, as a culture we hate addicts, or what they stand for, in very much the same way I think we hate people experiencing homelessness. We convince ourselves it was a series of bad choices that led someone where they are, choices we would never make because we are smart, smarter than them. We believe are more in control than that. We can prevent bad things from happening to us because we are good, because we are better than whoever it’s happening to. But the reality is almost ALL of us are one hospital stay away from homelessness, just as all of us are one trauma away from addiction. And with female addicts, we have another layer of expecting women to only struggle nicely and quietly, or to go away. Intersectional factors are at play here, too: white women are much more likely to have alcoholism attributed to mental health and trauma factors, where people of color often suffer the same addiction being more associated with crime. You can imagine how that plays out differently.

So what is the effect of all this? Gendered expectations lead to not only external stigma around addiction and tx, but also to internalized stigma which can limit willingness to seek tx. (2) Many social forces encourage women to drink and discourage them from telling anyone. Factors such as poverty, family planning, access to education, racial discrimination, and location can make services harder to access. Internally, women are more likely to enter treatment with less confidence in their ability to succeed, but report more strengths and more potential to grow recovery strengths during and following tx. For men, the pattern is reversed (3). And women have more successful tx episodes overall when gendered considerations are a part of the design and implementation of services (4). For Nesta, the effect is that she’s forced into treatment and copes by having hate sex with her ex and changing herself to conform to her family’s expectations while the House and the Valkyrie’s actually take care of her. I do not see how Sarah drew the line from there to recovery, I truly don’t. If anything, she recovers in spite of the ICs intervention, not because of it.

In summary, Nesta Archeron deserved better. Nesta deserved the same compassion the book gives to men who are struggling, and it’s a reflection of not just the book’s culture but the author’s culture that she doesn’t get it. Female alcoholics are worthy of treatment that integrates their identities, as those identities are often essential factors contributing to their addiction. What's shown in ACOSF is a reality many women live, and they shouldn't have to.

Barry Loneck, James A. Garrett & Steven M Banks (1996) The Johnson Intervention and Relapse During Outpatient Treatment, The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 22:3, 363-375, DOI: 10.3109/00952999609001665

Groshkova T, Best D, White W. The Assessment of Recovery Capital: Properties and psychometrics of a measure of addiction recovery strengths. Drug Alcohol Rev. 2013;32(2):187–94.

Best D, Vanderplasschen W, Nisic M. Measuring capital in active addiction and recovery: the development of the strengths and barriers recovery scale (SABRS). Subst Abuse Treat, Prev Policy. 2020;15(1):1–8.

Polak, K., Haug, N.A., Drachenberg, H.E. et al. Gender Considerations in Addiction: Implications for Treatment. Curr Treat Options Psych 2, 326–338 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40501-015-0054-5

[plurapony]

Okay so I HATE people on YouTube who make content about people faking DID... but there is one thing I hate more.

At least those people are authentic, but when your entire channel is about "mental health awareness" and yet all your content is about faking DID, you put disclaimers in all of your videos that "you are not a therapist, you can't tell someone that they're faking" but you make the videos anyways?

You do not have DID. Stop being fucking obsessed with us and fakeclaiming us in an effort to get views.

And a sidenote since this particular person has made a video about Pixielocks (a fashion content creator that has DID) - We really love Pixielocks and we find her content (specifically the DID content) really relatable and it makes us feel seen in our disorder. It's crazy that people without DID will immediately jump on inconsistencies as proof of faking when dissociative amnesia is such a KEY part of the disorder it's used for diagnosis. "Oh she made a cake with Happy DID Diagnosis" So fucking what??? Do YOU know what it's like to black out, wake up not knowing where you are, who you are, be constantly in a state of confusion and always be hearing thoughts that aren't yours with absolutely no explanation or answers??? it's fucking HORRIFYING and when suddenly all of that is explained in the form of DID it is so fucking refreshing and relieving. There's also this ongoing trend where if a person with DID says they're happy then they are faking because "this is a disorder of SUFFERING" like what the fuck??? we can heal and we can live functional lives as multiples.

So yeah, if you're going to be a horrible person and set back the DID community... at least be truthful and say that's what you're doing. You don't have DID and your content is NOT helping us, it is only increasing stigma and further demonizing us.

[black-mental-health-matters]

Empowerment for the day…

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[maybeimamuppet]

Do you believe Regina is redeemable?

ohhhhh buddy the whole can of worms this opened

to make a long story short: yes.

to make a long story longer with a tw for mentioned child abuse/neglect and suicidal ideation

i think every iteration of her deserves a shot at redemption.

canonically regina is at most seventeen years old. yes, she’s almost an adult. yes, she does and has done despicable things at this age and even younger. but she is still young. she is still a child. to completely, black and white say, that she is at her core an unredeemable monster who doesn’t even deserve to try does a complete and utter disservice both to her and the people she’s hurt in her past. to say she will be the way she is forever negates all the suffering she goes through and puts others through in canon, misguided though it is.

regina is also basically the textbook for a personality disorder and specifically bpd. borderline is (in a lot of cases i’ll say rightfully) very harshly judged. there’s a lot of stigma around it and cluster b disorders as a whole. but bpd is also caused for the most part by neglect and abuse in childhood. we only ever see regina’s dad in 2004 canon, for a single scene, crying over regina wearing the rabbit halloween costume. he’s completely absent in both the stage show and 2024. and looking at her mom, it is very obvious something has happened to the both of them and that this child (or neither of these children if you include kylie from 2004) is/are not getting the emotional guidance, support, and attention they need. who knows what happened before canon as well. who knows what her dad was like.

speaking as someone who also probably has bpd (which i discovered through doing research to write her better) i can say it is a terrifying experience. i’m lucky in that i’m able to resist my compulsions most of the time, but having them at all is beyond terrifying sometimes. i am filled with rage on a hair trigger these days. sometimes i’m able to process this anger in a healthy way. i can rationalize. i can think through it. i can calm myself down.

other times i can’t. i can only glance through the mean girls tag on ao3 now because if i look at numbers or think for too long about it, i compare the new fics that have come with the 2024 movie to things i’ve written. to see these fics that, while fantastic, are much shorter or don’t have as much effort put into them as what i do get literally ten times the love does hurt, as much as i adore and appreciate what i do get.

by nature with my other illnesses i have to pour my entire heart and soul, blood sweat and tears into every word i put on a page. every fic i’ve done is a piece of me that sometimes feels like i’ve torn it out of myself and given you to read. sometimes seeing that get 150 hits compared to a cadina fic that’s half as long (but again, still amazing! they all deserve every hit and kudos and comment and whatever) getting up to 1, 10, 50k hits just latches to a particularly sadistic part of my brain and it’s all i can think about for weeks. and it makes me want to quit. either writing or living.

and that sounds dramatic because IT IS. and i’m fully aware having those thoughts and urges is irrational. i don’t want them. i miss feeling like i have a community on ao3 (i absolutely have one here and i love all of you in my little circle with my entire being.) i hate having to avoid reading about my favorite characters because it does that much damage to my mental health. i am afraid that it takes something that small for me to have these massive thoughts.

all of that to say is that bpd makes switches easier to flip. it makes bad choices easier to make.

the reason i’m still here. the reason i still write and i haven’t deleted everything i’ve ever done. the reason i haven’t done a number of other things that i won’t say because they aren’t really relevant. is because i have chosen not to. it is incredibly hard sometimes. but it is still a choice you have to consciously make. you have to consciously decide to hurt someone. you have to consciously decide to say things. you have to consciously decide to humiliate your best friend in front of countless other people.

regina did make those choices.

and for that she does deserve consequences. she deserves repercussions and she deserves flack. she does not deserve to get hit by a bus (except for it being the catalyst to help her realize she needs to change) or being force fed to reach her biggest insecurity and fear without her knowledge.

she made the earliest choice when she was either eleven or twelve years old, that we know of.

that is a child.

regina is a child who is clearly suffering in some way we don’t see. she absolutely should be held accountable for what she does and what she has done. but she also deserves to be allowed to apologize and try to make amends. she deserves to be allowed the opportunity for growth and to heal and to become a functional adult who is capable of meaningful relationships and success. she deserves to be allowed to try.

does she deserve immediate or any forgiveness? no. the people around her also deserve the ability to make the choices with her that they will. she has caused harm, people are allowed to process the harm she has put upon them however they will.

but she deserves the opportunity to make it a choice for them.

she deserves a chance at redemption.

[strawberryraviegutz]

I feel like this needs to be said but..Am I the only one getting annoyed with the “Ame Chan is a bad person/problematic” discourse?? I’m not just talking about the ppl who’ve been complaining about her character saying they “didn’t realize how awful she was”. I’m also talking about ppl being like “lmao yall clearly didn’t play the game of course she’s a horrible person you’re just now realizing that??”

You don’t necessarily have to play a game to be a fan of it. It’s pretty common for ppl to watch gameplay videos or videos covering the story of/analyzing games and characters if they can’t or don’t wanna play it. Second I dont think we should just look at Ame through a black and white lense. Ame’s not a horrible person but she’s not necessarily good either. She’s a very VERY flawed person who struggles with mental health issues and addiction and makes rlly bad decisions and says rlly mean/bad things.

But that’s like…literally everyone on earth. Everyone has flaws especially mentally ill ppl, nobody’s perfect. It’s implied that Ame was literally abandoned/disowned by her parents so of course she’s not going to make the best decision with a “stable” mind especially if you’re desperate.

Ame Chan does terrible things/decisions like taking drugs on stream and self harming on stream and I think she even killed herself on stream too in one ending(tho feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) which is obviously irresponsible and dangerous. And she says things that aren’t necessarily nice or the best(some of it is warranted since some of the ppl in her chat were saying rlly awful, gross and even misogynistic things and calling her “old”).

And while she only wanted to be kangel for attention online, it’s kinda possible that she’s been able to have positive impacts on her fans/audience. We’ve seen how she is with the younger side of her fanbase as Kangel. She’s very kind and compassionate and overall very sweet towards them. Kangel’s entire persona is revolved around reaching out to lonley ppl online who’re struggling and to make them happy.

She may be doing it only for money snd attention, but like most ppl who struggle with mental health issues, they sometimes don’t realize the positive impacts they’ve had on the ppl around them. Hell maybe deep down Ame made Kangel to also help reach out to ppl like her online and make them happy too.

And as for the whole shotacon accusations, Ame Chan is NOT a shotacon. It was a very bad translation error and we all know that most translators aren’t always reliable(especially Google Translate) so please stop spreading that around. It’s been debunked already.

Maybe I’m biased because while I don’t have BPD(at least I don’t think so), have never taken drugs, nor have I ever cut myself in like a very VERY long time(tho I never left any scars cuz i didn’t like pain)and have an anxiety disorder and am autistic, I still sorta relate to/kin Ame Chan.

I’ve had my moments where I’ve had emotional and or violent outbursts(not where I’ve beat someone up or broke anything)due to a rush of emotion and or getting real worked up/frustrated online and irl.

And it’s always rubbed me the wrong way when I’ve been seeing ppl trying to put Ame into the box of “bad/problematic person” whether you’re trying to defend her character or not. It’s a lot more complex and morally grey than that and I think characters like her being in media are important to lessen the stigma of mental health whether it be in Japan or worldwide.

Feel free to correct me and fill me in on stuff if I missed anything or left anything out but in conclusion, Ame Chan is a not a good person, but she’s not necessarily a monster and or all bad either and I think ppl on both sides should realize that.

[mayhems-cannon]

hey, i know it might not help your fears, and the other asks said some of this, but i just wanted to hop on and ask: does portraying gabriel in the way you do help you? like, does it make you feel happy or comforted in even a little way? because that's what's important. people are always going to pick up different things from media. no matter how "canon accurate" someone tries to be there will always be a twist in it somehow, everyone's perceptions and fulfillment they get from media is different.

yapping ahead so tune out now if you want but:

I don't think it's possible to "portray him wrong" unless you're super strict about canon. even you said it yourself: we don't really know anything overly personal about him.

there's already a piece of media portraying him in the way they want, and it's the game! the fun thing about fanon is it explores different aspects and view and it's new! if people dont like some of the fandom portrayals, they have the option to walk away and just play the game.

i think we all see ourselves in characters we really like. and there is so little representation of people with mental health issues that struggle in the less accepted "cutesy" way in media that sometimes you need to make it yourself. It's treated like this thing to be ashamed of, and that honestly gave me a sour taste when i was reading the original post talking about making him an "overly sensitive crybaby".

characters and people are multifaceted, and they can have a sensitive struggling side and also an angry, protective, fierceness. those things can both exist in the same space, life is not black or white. there shouldnt be shame in trying to show a character in a way that comforts you, makes you feel seen, and not so alone.

people love your art. and it has made ME feel much less alone, undesirable and ashamed in my life of mental health struggles as a trans man, and of my recent bipolar diagnosis.

well, it does help calm my fears a bit, thank you a lot for writing this. i know it's rather silly and extremely childish to fawn and melt myself mentally over how i draw or portray a character, how obsessive and immature it is, but at the same time it's like i owe him so much, it's really odd to try to explain. i am a bit more clearminded now, but i'm still glad you sent this. thank you again so much.

characters and people are multifaceted, of course, but again that raises my fear of flattening him to simply "mentally ill and depressed to the point he cannot function properly alone anymore". admittedly that isn't really... flat saying it like that, but what i mean is simply to say i'd just reduce him to be a piece for suffering, which so far i don't seem to have done seeing people's positive reactions to what i draw of him (something that i'm still not fully used to).

what the original poster might've meant is the way he is written possibly being overly dramatic due to circumstances surrounding the work, stuff like being the usual teenager unable to fully understand emotions and reactions and thus going with extremes as a way to get their message through (i know that because i tried doing it as a 13 year old). but that's only one example, among a sea of possibilities, and even then it doesn't remove that stigma you mentionned, that gave you a sour taste. not everyone is depressed to the point of barely being able to function but at the same time why judge people who do write him with any sort of mental illness? be it as a form or projection or not, be it done "well" or "nor", it's not worth judging it in the end, right? (what does being an "overly sensitive crybaby" mean anyway?)

I write Gabriel like that not only because i want to see myself in him but also partly because, in a way, i do want to "make him my own" while also listening a minimum to the people who enjoy it. i don't know if i'm writing or drawing anything that's all that accurate in the end, but the least i can do as a trans guy who's just projecting is to take note of my surroundings and reactions and while i put them onto Gabriel see if i understand things right, coming from anyone around be it friends, mutuals or anyone. in a way it's serving as a "save state" of the stats and mental state i'm currently in, if that makes sense and isn't too much idiot rpg talk .

i'm gonna try to keep drawing Gabriel the ways that help me before anything though, it's just rather anxiety inducing to see someone you respect agree against something you fear you might be doing do all the time.

again, thank you for telling me this. it's hard to keep on going when you forget what makes you happy but this genuinely helped me quite a bit.

[kaddyssammlung]

I just wrote a comment under a YouTube video. The video was a reaction to Dark Signs and someone was not sure what the line ��tear my arms of” means.

My answer is below the cut. Hiding it because of self-harm

This whole topic still gets to me. I have PTSD from other “fan places” on the internet or something like that. Idk...in my opinion there is nothing wrong with talking about self-harm when it comes to Vessel or the lyrics.

The rules about mental health certain places are absurd to me. But the good thing is: I just don't look at those places and what's being posted there and that's it.

The stigma around self-harm is already bad enough but the way that some fans treat this topic does not help the stigma it makes it worse. One example is not being allowed to talk about it. Idk...I get where this comes from, though. They have my understanding and compassion.

The comment that I posted:

idk if you ever looked at concert photos of Vessel?! I have a fan tumblr and I have looked at many photos/ videos over the years. He paints his arms black but depending on how the lights shines on them or when the paint starts to come of because it's warm, they reveal certain things.

He has a lot of self-harm scars on both of his arms.

When he sings about tearing his arms of, I assume he means exactly that.

I struggled with that myself btw. And other things (was diagnosed with BPD a long time ago) but I'm fine these days.

The weird thing about this topic is that many fans relate to it in a sense that they have struggled in that way, too. But there are also fans who hate you for point this even out. What I decided to do about this some time ago was just be honest about it and share my past struggle but I also write about how it got better for me.I figured that the only way to end the stigma when it comes to mental illness is by opening up about my own struggles. I used to pretend that this part of me did not even exist but it's actually Sleep Token's music that inspired me to be more authentic.

When I first got into Sleep Token I did not even look at their IG or Facebook that much. I only cared about their music and not so much what they posted on social media or videos from live shows.

It took me a few months even before even realized that Vessel had these scars. I never doubted what they were or where they came from.

I had no idea that my opening this tumblr and diving deeper into all of this through uploading photos and looking photos I started noticing more and more scars. so...well...idk...just wanted to say that. I've said this before but it was some time ago.

[abcd-adventures]

I think that it was @hopefulmisanthrope who posted something a few days ago about big problems being difficult to solve and how it's damaging to say, "Well if X would just happen then we wouldn't have problem Y anymore." It was a good post. Big problems are big problems for a reason. Austin, for a while now, has been trying to address the issue of homelessness--maybe primarily because rich people in our city are very opposed to tents being visible in public spaces...but whatever the reason, there at least has been increased funding for the past few years for housing projects. But, because for some reason we just really want one single X to solve the Y problem, the city is like, "We should spend less money on services for people who are homeless/have recently experienced homelessness and just build more temporary housing/shelters and some affordable housing! Problem solved! People will not technically be on the street. Then, obviously, their lives will immediately be better again and we won't have those pesky tents ruining our city's image!" Who needs healthcare/mental healthcare, education, career support, advocacy, etc. when you technically have a roof over your head--usually temporarily!? That will solve everything! There are 140 residents in my supportive housing building. There are four of us on the services team--two of us are part-time, and my building has the largest services team out of 8. Most buildings have two people for ~100 residents. And, if the city cuts some of our services grant funding, that may be an even more pitiful picture.

This post is already so long...and I feel like it hasn't even started...and what is the point? Me shouting into the void? Everyone knows systemic racism sucks, income inequality sucks, mental health stigma is a huge barrier, a criminal record might as well be a death knell for one's career aspirations--especially if you're Black or brown, our healthcare system sucks--especially if you live below the poverty line, and all of those issues then foster isolation and loneliness which exacerbates health and mental health challenges...but yes, let's reduce the support for services and build more temporary housing because magic bullets are a thing, right?

What I love about my job is that I get to work with my clients where they live, and I get to work with them to address ALL of those things and get to do it long-term. And, it WORKS. But, yes, it's intense and time-consuming, and often not cheap...but when I found this job I was SO EXCITED because THIS is what social work is to me, but it's not what it usually gets to be in the "real world," and if our city has anything to say about it, it's going to be less of a thing very soon.