#black greek sandals
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Last night I dreamt I was playing BG3 but you could choose from a large selection of premade or randomly chosen characters put together by the devs. These were mostly just filler characters to give you options and not all of them were really functional in a game like BG3.
But I immediately homed in on a character simply listed as "Olive seller" who was clearly a joke character made by a dev. None of her set moves were useful in combat (I guess the characters had preset moves like pokemon?) since all of hers directly connected to olives or selling them.
I of course imprinted on her and instantly started calling her the "olivemancer" and planned to give her attacks based around throwing oil grenades and whatever else I could justify as having to do with olives.
#Last night I dreamt#She looked like a very stereotypical Greek olive farm girl#Black girly hair under a white bandana with a white apron over an olive green dress and leather sandals#Carrying a woven basket of olives
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the fashion in kaine's solo is largely terrible for basically all of the characters (straight men drawing comics...) except for a few outfits here and there that feel like they actually capture something about the character, before stegman left the book
but there is at least a little bit i can go off of in some scenes... anyway putting zoe in a gold sequined bodycon dress when she comes to wreck shit on Valentine's Day (in my au)
#annabelle is still in the men's suit obv.#it is funny cause comics LOVE bodycon dresses but somehow--#nadia rambles#arghwrites#if it were casual i'd just put her in her leather jacket and call it a day but for this ...#she's dressed for a date obviously#gold sequined bodycon mini dress + black leather jacket + black alligator skin purse + puffball keychain#+ gold stiletto nails + a dozen sparkly rings (this is early 2016)#idk what kind of shoes (probably greek style high heeled sandals) but annabelle is wearing creepers#oh. no i know what shoes zoe is wearing... louboutin araknene
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Ancient Greek Sandals
#black#ancient greek sandals#fashion#color void#cv#womens fashion#womens footwear#womens shoes#shoes#footwear#sandals#spring fashion#summer fashion#strappy sandals#grecian#open toe#rounded toe#warm weather#solid color#flats#neutral color#farfetch
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Marvel in Unmarvel-like Outfits
I think every now and then Billy would change up whatever he wears as Marvel, and I personally think this would shock the JL the because they didn’t even know the suit could be taken off. Like one day, I can see Billy decked out in full Hawaiian drip:
Flash: “Hey, Cap- woah.”
Billy: *turns around for the first time rocking a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals also Hawaiian printed* “Hey, Flash. Something wrong?
Flash: “Dude, you’re wearing normal clothes.”
Billy: “Yeah…? I am.”
Flash: “But you’ve never worn normal clothes until now! I thought you said the suit didn’t come off.”
Billy: *Remembers he uses that as an excuse to not to go to bars with the others.* “Oh uh… I’m… not… Powered up?”
Flash: “Wait, you can power up? Also wait, this is you powered down??” *gestures to Billy wildly*
Billy: “Yes…?”
Flash: “So you’re telling me, none of that was padding? It was 100 percent muscle?” *Gestures to one of Marvel’s arms*
Billy: “Uh… yeah? Look uh- I gotta go! Bye!” *Speed walks away*
or
Billy went a country fair and was still riding the high of cowboy-ness. So now, he’s wearing cowboy clothes complete with fringe, golden spurs on his boots, and even a bandana. He even went the extra mile and used a lightning lasso. Until he got tired of it and just went back to punching.
He was having his fun but of course someone has to ruin it:
Black Adam: *Flies in from somewhere* “Champion! Show yourself!”
Billy: “Adam.” *Flies up to Teth’s level and tips his cowboy hat to the other man*
Black Adam: *About to monologue about how this is going to be the time he finally beats Billy but then he sees the champion’s clothes* “You imbecile, what are you wearing?”
Billy: “I’m not an imbecile, I’m a cowboy!”
Black Adam: *does the sassiest eye roll* “Sure… Let’s just fight, wretch.”
(People ate this up too. There were like a thousand edits of him with the ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’ and the ‘hey sexy lady’ and the ‘shake it for me girl’ songs, much to Billy’s horrification)
or
Billy one day magics up a toga, one of those gold leaf crown things, and he even wears sandals. He even decides to speak exclusively Ancient Greek and it makes the Justice League worry little. They send Diana in since she’s the only one who can understand him:
*Billy’s in the kitchen making himself food.*
(Ancient Greek will be in italics)
WW: *knocks on door frame* “Marvel?”
Marvel: “Yeah, Wondy?”
WW: *leans against doorway* “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but the others are worried about you.”
Marvel: *pauses cooking* “Why?”
WW: “Well…” *looks Marvel up and down* “You’re dressed differently, and you’re speaking Greek.”
Marvel: *stares in confusion before he smiles* “Oh, Wondy, don’t worry! This is just a bit. I’ll be done by tomorrow. Promise!” *offers pinky swear*
WW: *sighs* “If you say so.”*does pinky swear with him*
#billy batson#captain marvel dc#dc captain marvel#fawcett#fawcett city#fawcett comics#shazam#wonder woman#diana prince#the flash#wally west#black adam#teth adam
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Dp x dc
The Warrior of Hope
A spear thrusted into the creature, the weapon glowed a neon green. There were swarms of them all over the city. Standing in the middle was a lone figure. He wore greek styled armor with a pteruges. His muscular figure peaked through his unarmored portions.
A spear in one hand and a shield in another. He battled through the horde, not stopping for a moment. With a yell, the warrior slammed his foot onto the floor, a blast of ice speared into the beings.
Taking a quick breather, the warrior's head snapped up. A figure flying towards him at extreme speeds.
After a few seconds, the person slammed into the concrete, picking up dust and cracking the ground. As the person stood, they were a woman. Her flowing black hair was held back by a starred tiara. She was none other than Diana of Themyscara, also known as Wonderwoman.
She looked towards the warrior before her, the princess taking in the warrior before her. Yet before she could say anything, ice cracked.
Quickly turning around she socked the being Lunging towards her, sending it flying into others. She took a step back, meeting another body. Quickly turning her head, the saw the warrior in a similar position his shield raised.
Their eyes met, one a crystal blue the other an emerald green. They nodded in understanding, and the new allies began their battle.
The fought side by side, slaying the monsters surrounding them. Cutting through their enemies like nothing, they were completely in sync. They fought as if they were dancing, twirling around one another.
A bright flash spread throughout the battlefield, the creatures disappearing as it washed through them. The two warriors finally able to breathe in relief.
They sized each other up, taking in their appearance.
Diana barely reached his chest, the amazonian having to look up at him. His armor was well fitted, the cloth hugging his frame, while the armor left room for flexibility.
His amor was pitch black except for lines of blue scattered throughout. He wore a pair of leather sandals, the strappes going up his to his knees.
"Well met warrior, what is your name," Diana asked the man.
Looking down at the Princess of Themyscara, the man's cold eyes softened as if looking at an old friend.
"I am Elpis, Diana of Themyscara the spirit of hope and son of Nyx," the now revealed Elpis replied.
Diana's eyes widened in surprise not expecting such a warrior to be the embodiment of hope.
"It is an honor to meet you lord Elpis," Diana greeted the being with a bow.
"No need for the false subservience Diana, I am no Olympian. Now come, there are many who need the hope of heroes," Elpis said, dismissing her attempts to appease him.
The two began two fly, searching for citizens to help.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny phantom#danny is hope#Danny is adopted by Nyx#Danny is the reincarnation of Elpis#Diana and Danny become besties#Danny trained with Pandora#Danny loves to be in Nyx's presence#he can see the stars in her cloak so clearly its like the night sky for him#dcxdp#dpxdc#Danny gives the GL crew a small power boost whenever he is close
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DC X DP X Captain Marvel/Shazam (Part 2)
Before I continue, here’s a real quick Headcannon for this, so when Danny became the ghost prince, it was a pretty big deal, but since he didn’t want to deal with all the fame stuff he made sure only the people who needed to know were informed(this includes the champion of magic and the lords or order and chaos(they don’t know exactly who he is just that there’s a new ghost prince)). Sam is the new fright knight (the old one is training her), Danielle and Dan are also royals, Tuck and jazz are helping in different areas too (tuck is a kinda judge and jazz is helping new ghosts and getting everyone some therapy). The Champion of magic and Ruler of the Infinite realms interact a lot and are two of the greatest forces in the universe, they also help each other to stop entire universes from dying(Infinite realms is the stuff between universes and the Rock of Eternity connects every universe and supplies it w/ magic), anyway with that out of the way…
here’s the next part! (Once again I am not the greatest writer so don’t expect anything to amazing)(also I mostly know about billy through fanfics and have yet to read the original comics)
(oh also Danny looks his normal age here, he lets a bit of his eldritch form leak into him so he looks older at the JL)
Danny glanced around the room that the meeting was taking place in, it was different from most of the infinite realms, in a way that it just felt more… it felt like how pop rocks taste, sweet but sharp. It was different from the spiky citrusy(or maybe metal?) feeing that most of the realms had. Clockwork had told him it was because they were in a pocket dimension between the infinite realms and some place called the Rock of Eternity(wait hadn’t marvel mentioned something like that?), so there was more magic here then usual. The sound of a door opening caught his attention and he swiftly turned to see the door opposite to the one he had come from open as a small figure stepped through.
A small figure with a very familiar aura(I can’t remember the word I want to use so whatever) stood in the doorway.
After the door closed and the harsh backlighting disappeared he could see more of the kid(who looks his age), they were wearing golden sandals with what looked like wings on the sides, a robe? Thing??? Whatever they called those back then, which was white with golden edges(think how cap’s cape looks), he also wore one of the golden leaf crown thingamajigs around his head. The kid was holding a lightning staff that was taller then they were and had a matching lighting bolt amulet. Overall they looked like some sort of Greek or Roman royal, or at least how he would imagine them.
The champion seemed to be surveying him in the same way, from his crown of black fire and ectoplasm, to his cape of stars, why yes he was extremely fashionable, thank you for noticing! He cleared his throat before holding out his hand to the kid, “Danny Phantom, prince of the Infinite Realms.” He introduced, the kids eyes widened for a moment before they reached forwards and shook his hand, he saw the Lichtenberg figures tracing along his arms, similar to his own scars from the portal, but while his were an ectoplasmic green, the other’s looked like they were inlaid with gold. “Marvel, champion of magic,” he finally introduced.
wait-
They both stared at each other for a few moments, finally the other kid spoke up. “I knew you felt different from a normal ghost!” He exclaimed with a smile, letting go of his hand as Danny paused for a moment longer. “So THATS how you knew there was a new prince!” He said with the same smile as he put the pieces together, he had thought it was strange for a random leaguer who was only supposed to be mildly magical to know. Said kid laughed as he nodded, “Nice to have another kid on the league then, assuming you aren’t actually an immortal who just looks like a kid at least.” Marvel commented. Danny was struck by inspiration and(before his brain remembered that he was supposed to be acting all princely or whatever) quickly said, “We’re just like that Spider-Man meme!!!” And thankfully didn’t have to immediately regret it when Marvel seemed to agree. A noise if someone clearing their throat startled the boys.
“I’m glad to see that you two get along with one another,” Clockwork said with a sigh of exasperation, “But in case you forgot you are here to discuss the fact that a recent use of magic by the Sorcerer Supreme In Earth M-A73 has destabilized the universe and nearby realms.” Marvel looked surprised by his appearance but by now Danny was used to it. “Yes Clockwork we know.” He said in as annoying of a polite tone as he could manage, the entity sighed and faded away, he turned to the Champion ready to discuss the problem-
“WAS THAT CRONOS?!?!” He asked… maybe Earth M-A73 could wait for a bit.
#Billy Batson#Danny Fenton#Danny Phantom#Captain Marvel#Shazam#dc#dp#dc x dp#dp x dc#magic feels like how pop rocks taste#Dark magic is spicy#Rock of Eternity#Infinite Realms#Ectoplasm is like citrus mixed with metal and sharpness#When it’s contaminated it’s more like blood#Ghost King Danny#Ghost Prince Danny#Champion Billy#Just roll with the fact that billy has a second magic form please#It helps my plot#Divine twitch chat#even though it’s not mentioned#It stays with him as Billy#He just wants some sleep#Space core Danny#Fright Night Sam#Princess Danielle#Her hero name is Wraith#Prince Dan#idk his hero name can be Ecto or something
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Chapter 31 of human Bill grudgingly enduring being the Pines' prisoner because the Henchmaniacs won't take his call: Summerween night! Everyone gets ridiculous costumes!
The Summerween Trickster's buddies are attempting to resurrect him. Robbie's making a music video. Bill's attempting to woo Ford back into friendship, to terrify Dipper with cursed knowledge, and to recover his dignity from THE most gentle chastising imaginable, and he only succeeds in 1 out of 3 of these endeavors:
It's not this one. He's just gotta process these emotions while wearing that stupid wig.
####
Soos was putting the final touches on his cosplay (the suave and mysterious Masked Guy In A Suit, love interest of the heroine from the classic anime Teenage Planetary Soldier Girls) when he heard the phone ring in the office. "Hold on, I'll get it!" He hurried downstairs, ducked under a construction paper chain Mabel had strung over the door, picked up the phone, and said, "Hello?"
A mysterious voice droned, "The sun sets a deep blood red."
"Oh, no thanks, we don't want any." Soos hung up, sighed happily, and said, "Ah, Summerween. Always brings out the weirdos."
"Hey Soos!" Mabel ducked into the doorway. "Where's the candy bowl?"
"Oh, hey Hambone. It's in my bedroom." He put on a stage whisper. "I put it in there so Bill couldn't steal it."
"Thanks Soos!" She ran upstairs.
Dipper and Bill waited downstairs, the tension thick between them (on Dipper's side, anyway; Bill—watching a black-and-white horror movie, sipping at a can of cider, and brooding over going to voicemail—didn't notice). Dipper was waiting by the door in a folding chair; but he kept glancing toward Bill in the living room. When the silence got too much to bear, he asked, "Okay, what are you dressed as?"
Bill was wearing a brown bedsheet toga (the most historically-accurate part of his costume); a cheap wig of a teased mullet that had ended up mostly red with yellow streaks, forming a plume of hair right over his head and then a long straight tail he'd draped over his shoulder; and a bunch of paper faux-Greek homes taped all around the hem of his toga, forming a ring around his calves.
"And are those my sandals?" Dipper asked.
"Take it up with Mabel, she loaned them on your behalf," Bill said. "I'm not telling my costume. You have to guess it."
"Seriously?" Dipper sighed. It had to be a god, gods towered over their mortals' temples. What god would wear brown? "I don't know—Demeter?"
"What? No. Do I seem like the Demeter type? Pathetic." Bill waved off his guess. As Mabel ran downstairs, Bill said, "Hey, Shooting Star, you haven't made your official guess yet."
Without hesitation, Mabel said, "A time-traveling hair metal singer touring the Roman Empire and trying to find a way home before his hair dye runs out."
"Wrong, but I would love to live in the world you've dreamed up." He meandered into the entryway to join Mabel as she plopped down in the second chair by the door.
Dipper screwed up his face. "Are you helping us answer the door?"
"No, you're helping me answer the door. I'm cursed, remember?" Bill leaned over Mabel's shoulder, dug into the candy bowl, and popped a lollipop in his mouth. "But you're not getting rid of me, if that's what you're asking."
Soos headed to the door, cape billowing dramatically behind him. "Hey dudes. Hey Bill." He paused in the door, studying Bill. "Hey! Is that a Bobo the Uncouth Berserker cosplay?"
Bill blinked. "Who?"
"Bobo the Uncouth Berserker! You've gotta read Bobo. He's this primitive hero descended from lost Lemuria who goes on daring adventures through the lush impenetrable jungles of Central Europe. He's got this comic that was so popular it spawned an anime, which got an American movie adaptation, which formed the basis of a second comic continuity that isn't as critically acclaimed as the original but has drawn in a lot of new fans... and..." Soos petered out. "You're not Bobo, are you."
Bill shook his head. "Thanks for playing."
"Aw." Soos's shoulders slumped. "Anyway—me and Melody are gonna be at the cosplay contest at the theater. I'll keep my phone on in case of monsters."
"We'll be fine!" Mabel said. "Go have fun!"
"You too!" With a dramatic flourish of his cape, Soos disappeared into the night.
Bill watched Soos go enviously. He could have been given a human body that looked that good in a suit and top hat, but was he? No. It wasn't fair. And Soos didn't even wear the right hat size.
Dipper glanced sideways at Bill. "Hey. Is... Lemuria real?"
"Not anymore." Bill perked up as Stan passed by, dressed like Frankenstein's monster. "Hey, Stanley! You haven't guessed yet. What am I?"
Stan surveyed him. "White columned buildings, Statue of Liberty dress, and a red clown wig. I dunno, the American government?"
Bill squawked in laughter. "That's my favorite wrong answer so far. I like you, Stanley." He fished a chocolate bar out of the bowl and held it out.
Stan grunted in disapproval, but accepted the candy. "If any of you need me, I'm gonna be up on the roof, terrifying kids." He held up a boombox and a cassette that said "Spooky Sound Effects of Halloween". "If you hear screaming children, don't worry: that means I'm winning."
"Where's your brother?" Bill asked.
"Avoiding you." Stan passed through the living room and left.
Bill's shoulders slumped; but he just dug into the candy bowl for more chocolate. Then the first trick-or-treater knocked on the door, and Dipper jumped up in relief to answer it.
The shack didn't attract quite as many trick-or-treaters as the houses closer to the center of town, but they got a steady stream of children, and more than they'd gotten the year before. Between visitors, Bill dug into their candy stock, gleefully ignoring Dipper's complaints. After the fourth or fifth visitor, Dipper and Mabel realized that Bill was covering up the amount of candy he'd pilfered by meticulously re-folding the empty wrappers and putting them back in the bowl.
"It's fair play," Bill said. He untwisted one end of a Twisty Roll tube, squeezed out the candy, blew into the wrapper to re-inflate it, and twisted the end shut again. "The kids are trick-or-treating, right? Sometimes they get treats and sometimes they get tricks."
"Come on, seriously?" Dipper said. "Even for you this is low. You're literally taking candy from babies."
"The babies are trying to take candy from us. I have no sympathy." With the precision of an origami master, Bill refolded a paper fruit chew wrapper into a box and dropped it back into the bowl.
"They're supposed to take candy from us, that's how the holiday works." Dipper looked at Mabel for support.
But she was holding up an empty 3 Fencers wrapper and squeezing it lightly between her fingers. "Wow. How did you make the wrapper puffy again? It's so convincing."
Bill shot Dipper a nasty smile, then turned to Mabel and said magnanimously, "I'll teach you everything I know." He twirled a glue stick between his fingers.
Another trick-or-treater knocked, and Dipper answered.
"Trick or treat! Please give us the worst candy you have."
Mabel blinked, leaning around Dipper to see who was outside. "Wait, what?"
Outside stood a purple-furred monster with a dozen limbs from a dozen different creatures. He gasped in surprise. "Ohhh, twin costumes! That's so cute! What are you two, haunted dolls?"
Dipper took a surprised step back. "Limby Jimmy?"
The monster was silent a moment, taken aback. He took off a bear mask he'd made out of a paper plate. "Is it that obvious?"
Mabel asked, "Have we...?"
Dipper said, "Oh! Sorry—Mabel, this is Limby Jimmy, I ran into him last year in the Crawlspace under town when I was trying to get your face back—"
Helpfully, Bill threw in, "He's Gravity Falls' most accomplished arms dealer. And legs dealer, and tails dealer, and ears dealer..."
"Limby, this is my sister Mabel. Actually, I don't know if I ever introduced myself—"
Limby Jimmy cut in, "Ohhh, yeah, I remember you! You're Troll Boy, right?"
Dipper winced. "It's—it's Dipper, actually." He paused. "Wow. We meet a lot of weird people."
"Nice to meet you, Jimmy!" Mabel held out a hand. After a moment of thought, Jimmy elected to shake it with a tentacle and a dog's paw.
"What are you doing up here?" Dipper asked. "Is Summerween the one night of the year that Gravity Falls' monsters can walk among humans without fear?"
"Oh no, I'm terrified. I wouldn't be out here if I wasn't collecting donations," Jimmy said.
"Donations?"
Jimmy hesitated, then lowered his voice. "You've been in the Crawlspace, so, you and your sister are cool, but is the lady...?" He wiggled a hoof toward Bill.
Coolly, Bill said, "I'm actually an ancient interdimensional energy being cursed to wear a human form."
Dipper and Mabel flinched in alarm and rounded on Bill, hissing, "Bill!" "Shhh!"
Ignoring them, Bill said, "So, continue."
"Oh," Jimmy said brightly. "That's all right then, yuk yuk." He wiggled his multitude of right arms. "I don't know if you humans have heard yet, but the Summerween Trickster got eaten to death last summer! It's really sad!"
Dipper and Mabel, who had watched as he was eaten to death, stayed quiet.
"But probably happy for him?" Jimmy mused. "Since I think that's what he wanted? But it's sad for the rest of his poker group, we all miss him! So I'm out here with Doug—"
"Who?" Dipper asked, looking around the porch for a second monster.
"Oh, he's back there." Jimmy pointed toward a tree at the edge of the clearing around the Mystery Shack. The tree chittered unnervingly. "We're going around collecting donations to resurrect the Trickster! Or... re-summon him? Or however this works. We never really asked him how he came to exist, it seemed rude."
"Naturally," Bill said. "You can't just ask a freak what made him so freaky. It's a sensitive topic."
"Right! You understand," Jimmy said. "Anyway, we need a lot of crappy candy!" He looked at their bowl. "Which pieces have the kids been ignoring this year?"
Mabel had started bouncing on the balls of her dusty Victorian ghost shoes; and the moment she had a turn to speak, she squealed in excitement. "You're the Summerween Trickster's friend! That's perfect! Stay here, I'll be right back!" She shoved the candy bowl into Bill's arms and zoomed up the stairs. "I've got some stuff for him!"
Bill looked at the bowl, looked at the stairs, shoved the candy in Dipper's arms, and followed Mabel. "Hey, Shooting Star? What are you doing?"
Her voice drifted down the stairs: "Getting a donation! I'll be just a minute!"
"Hold on, you're actually helping that guy?" Bill laughed. "Why?" He climbed high enough to poke his head above the attic floor and lowered his voice so Jimmy couldn't hear. "I wasn't paying that much attention last Summerween, but I got the impression from your little costume store brawl that the Trickster was trying to kill you kids. Am I missing something?"
"I mean, yeah, he was—but he was in a really bad place back then, that doesn't mean he deserves to be dead for it. And now he knows someone out there wants to eat him, so maybe he'll be less insecure and evil." Mabel laughed, "Anyway, the Trickster isn't that bad! He didn't try to kill me half as hard as you did!"
Bill froze a couple of steps from the top of the stairs. He didn't move for a few seconds; and then wordlessly, he slunk back downstairs.
Dipper watched as Bill, face beet red, trudged into the living room. "Hey. What's Mabel...?"
"How should I know." Bill curled up on the couch, picked up the can of cider he'd been drinking earlier, shotgunned it, and glowered at the horror movie on TV.
Dipper considered Bill—all alone in the living room and not doing anything important—and considered Mabel, upstairs; and said, "Hey, Jimmy. Do you mind waiting out here until Mabel gets back."
"Sure! I don't have any plans." Jimmy rocked back on his many heels.
"Cool. Thanks." Dipper shut the door.
He sidled oh so very casually into the living room and leaned against the TV. "Guess it's just the two of us right now."
Bill's gaze didn't waver from the TV. "Terrific counting skills, Troll Boy." He popped open another cider can.
Dipper grit his teeth. Let it go. "Sooo! You're from the second dimension, huh? What's that like?" (His voice cracked embarrassingly on "that.") "Just—just curious. Making friendly conversation. Caaasual conversation." He flashed a pair of finger guns at Bill, to underscore just how casual he was. "Yyyep." Witness the junior paranormal investigator in action.
Bill turned the cold, empty eyes of a killer on Dipper. He took a long, slow sip from his cider. And he asked himself: what can I say that will make this stupid boy regret ever daring to speak to me?
Bill smiled. "Yeah. Sure. Okay," he said. "You wanna know what it's like? Have you ever read the Allegory of the Cave?"
Dipper hesitated. "By... Plato?"
"That one. You know—ignorance is like being a prisoner chained in a cave, watching shadow puppets being cast on a wall, and thinking they're reality; and having knowledge is like being outside the cave in the sunlight, seeing the real shapes that are casting the shadows—"
"I have read it, actually," Dipper said, a tad defensively. "It was for extra credit in—"
"English class, I know."
Dipper frowned; but he soldiered on. "So... living in the second dimension is like being chained in a cave, staring at the shadows on the wall, and thinking that's reality? Bleak."
Bill laughed so loudly that Dipper started. "Wow, you're so dumb! Use your brain, kid: it's the second dimension. You're not the prisoner: you're the shadow on the wall." Bill's lip curled in a sneer, "An illusion in somebody else's allegory. And the only one who can see the cave's exit... is you. That's what the second dimension is like!" He laughed again. It sounded forced.
"Oh," Dipper mumbled. He tried to wrap his head around the idea of being a living metaphor for ignorance. "Sounds... pretty bad?"
"Awful," Bill agreed. "Doesn't hold a candle to what your dimension has going on, though."
"Wh... why, what's going on in the third dimension?"
Bill gave him a malicious smile, and Dipper had the sinking feeling he'd just walked into an obvious trap. "You idiot, you still think you're in the third dimension? Really?"
Was that a trick question? What answer was Bill looking for? What could this be if not the third dimension? "Nnooo?"
"Wow. I can really see why you're a straight-A's honors student," Bill said. "You're so good at figuring out what answer the test wants and regurgitating it—even if you don't actually understand it at all." He heaved himself back to his feet; and Dipper was sure there was something threatening in the movement—something that reminded Dipper that he was talking to a dangerously unstable extinction level event precariously packed into an unsteady human body. "Although copying the year of the Louisiana Purchase off of Brandon's test in fifth grade probably didn't hurt, did it."
Dipper's stomach dropped. The secret shame buried beneath the foundation of his honors roll-worthy record. Pull that out and his entire academic career came toppling down. He'd get kicked out of the honors classes. He'd go to jail. Was cheating against the law? "H... how did—?"
"What year was the Louisiana Purchase?"
Dipper's brain immediately went blank. He was silent, trapped in the paralyzing intensity of Bill's gaze. After several terrifying seconds, he croaked, "1803?" and hoped he was right.
"Attaboy. Too bad you couldn't have learned that a little sooner, isn't it?" As he spoke, Bill had closed in on Dipper until he'd backed him into the corner behind the TV set, filling Dipper's exit route with one hand on the TV and the other on the wall. "But we were talking about dimensions, weren't we! Whaddaya like to read, kid," Bill asked too casually, "do you like cosmic horror? Do you know what real 'cosmic horror' is?"
Dipper regretted this conversation completely.
"It's having an eyeball on the inside of your body, and seeing another dimension through it. And ohoho, I think you'd be amazed at the things I can see from here—"
Dipper got the distinct impression that if he didn't get out of this conversation, he would only hear things he'd be telling his therapist about for months. "Cool! Good talk, man. Hey Mabel?" (That was an absolutely humiliating voice crack.) "How's it going?"
A pause. "I think I need help!"
"Coming!" Dipper ran behind the TV to escape Bill and gratefully bolted upstairs.
The kid had caved so fast. And Bill had only just been getting started. He smirked, sat, and turned back to the movie.
A moment later, Mabel and Dipper came back downstairs, carrying four bulging plastic grocery bags. Mabel set one by her feet, opened the door, and shoved the first bag into Jimmy's arms. "Here! You can give these to the Trickster!" She shoved over the second bag.
Jimmy stumbled back under the weight. "Whoa there! What is this?"
"Candy chalk-hearts! I completely bought out the leftovers after Valentine's Day," Mabel said. "I wanted to make sure that if we met the Trickster again, I could let him know he's loved and appreciated as the terrifying avatar of spooky holiday spirit that he is! And that I also respect that he's made out of gross candy nobody likes to eat." She picked up a chalk-heart box and waved it in Jimmy's face. "So here's a gross candy that expresses love! See, the little hearts say things like 'You smell nice' and 'I heart ur face,' but they taste like if dehydration was a flavor."
Dipper handed his bags to Jimmy. "Wait—Mabel, that's why you got all these? You've been planning to help the Trickster since February? I thought you were gonna build a chalk-heart house or something."
"Oooh, that's such a good idea. I should do that next year!" To Jimmy, she said, "I was gonna give these to him personally, but if he's still dead, I guess you can add it to his candy sacrifice pile or whatever? And make sure he gets this!" She handed Jimmy a store bought Shimmery Twinkleheart Valentine's card. It read, "I BELIEVE in our friendship! Happy Valentine's Day!" Mabel had scratched out "Valentine's" and written "Summerween".
Choked up, Jimmy said, "Oh—wow. That's the nicest thing anyone's done for us all night. I'm sure the Trickster will really appreciate it when he's not dead anymore."
Dipper was a little more vengeful. Dipper didn't want to do anything for one of the many guys that had tried to kill them last year. But, on the other hand, Mabel had just gone all in on this, and Jimmy seemed nice enough, so... Dipper sighed. Whatever, it was Summerween and this was a trick-or-treater. "Hey," he picked up the candy bowl. "There's really only one bag of good candy in here. The bottom of the bowl is filled with after-dinner mints our great uncle's been stealing from restaurants for the last six months. The Trickster would probably love that, right?"
"Aww—thanks so much, you guys! We'll have the poker group back together in no time!" Jimmy dug past the good candy and started scooping mints into his bag. "Oh—since I'm here, can I ask about our other poker buddy? Do either of you know Mr. What's-His-Face? He disappeared around the time you were visiting the Crawlspace, maybe one of you saw something? Any information would be helpful." Jimmy looked at them with weird, plus-shaped, but very hopeful eyes. "Between the Trickster's death and Whatsis disappearing, the local paranormal community's been hit hard. Especially us guys in their friend group. I'm—I'm not gonna lie," Jimmy heaved a sigh, "It's been a really hard year."
Dipper and Mabel, who were directly and personally at fault for Mr. What's-His-Face's disappearance and knew he was frozen in stasis in Ford's bunker at that very moment, exchanged a look and came to a silent agreement.
"Nope, don't know anything," Mabel said.
"Sorry, buddy," Dipper said.
Like the Summerween Trickster, Mr. What's-His-Face was a weird faceless shapeshifty monster that had tried to kill them. But they felt like that was where the similarities ended.
By the time of the Trickster's death, Mabel and Dipper had realized that his deepest inner longing was to be called good enough to eat. Mr. What's-His-Face's deepest inner longing was to steal innocent people's faces. If Mabel and Dipper helped resurrect the Trickster, he'd probably go back to ensuring everyone displayed sufficient holiday spirit, while hopefully mellowing out about eating people now that he'd been consumed once. On the other hand, if Mabel and Dipper helped free Mr. What's-His-Face, he'd probably just keep stealing faces.
And on top of all that, they could help resurrect the Trickster without admitting they knew the guy who ate him. They couldn't really lead Jimmy to Mr. What's-His-Face without admitting their great uncle was keeping him captive. And that would be a problem for the whole family.
"Oh," Jimmy said. "Okay, that's fine. Thanks for all your help. You know where to reach us if you hear anything."
Mabel shook her head. Dipper nodded. "Yeah, we'll let you know."
Jimmy hopped off the porch, shouted, "Hey Doug, can you help me carry these?" and chucked a couple of bags of chalk-hearts toward the tree line. Dipper and Mabel stared. Nothing emerged to pick the bags up.
They shut the door.
"Man," Dipper said. "We kinda devastated the paranormal poker group last summer, didn't we?"
"Yeah." Mabel sucked in a breath between her teeth. "Wow. Feels... kinda bad."
Dipper offered her the candy bowl. "Drown our feelings in chocolate?"
"Please."
They grabbed a piece of candy each, tore open the wrappers—and frowned. Mabel stomped a foot. "Dang it—Bill!"
"Hm?"
"How many of these wrappers are empty?!"
Bill poked his head out of the living room and said, smugly, "Like candy from a baby!"
####
A knock, and Dipper opened the door. "Wendy! Hey! Good timing—"
"Hey." Wendy lowered her voice. "Quick question—this is super important—is Goldie here?"
"Uh—yeah, why—?"
"Yello?" Bill carefully wove his way out of the living room, already less steady on his feet than when he'd sat down. "I heard my name, who's summoning me?"
Wendy pointed over the twins at Bill and turned to shout into the dark, "Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you! Live and in person... Toga Lady!"
A half dozen teenagers immediately went bananas. Hooting and hollering and cheering and whistling: "To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!"
Bill's entire face lit up. Without missing a beat, he pushed past the baffled twins out onto the porch and spread his arms wide, basking in the cheering. "That's right, keep it coming! Worship me! I'm the greatest!"
"Yes!" Robbie pumped a fist in the air. "The legends were true!" Nate immediately added, "The prophecy! The prophecy!" Tambry snapped photos of Toga Lady's fresh look as fast as her phone could save them, muttering, "Everyone's gonna flip when they find out you're still in town."
Wendy waited, grinning, until her friends' faux hysterics had died down. "Okay—okay, after getting you hyped up, I should probably say that Toga Lady is actually Toga Guy." She glanced questioningly at Bill. "I think?"
"Eh, I'm not picky."
"Anyway this is Goldie, he was stuck in another dimension for thirty years, it's crazy, and now he's like my illegal backup cashier. He actually... doesn't usually wear togas?"
Bill laughed. "If you can't wear a bedsheet on Summerween, when can you?"
Lee said, "Thompson wore a bedsheet to homecoming."
"Hey."
Bill pointed at Thompson. "A man of impeccable fashion! I like it!" Thompson gave him a look of eternal gratitude.
"And Goldie, this is the gang! That's Thompson, he's the guy with the van; Robbie and Tambry, they're like, gender-swapped versions of each other, they even share their hair dye..."
As Wendy did introductions, Mabel whispered to Dipper, "Did you know she was gonna introduce Goldie to everyone?"
"No! This is bad, I told her not to trust him..."
Bill was responding to a question, "No, no, you've gotta guess, I'm making everyone guess!"
The teens considered the question. Robbie offered first, "Punk caveman?"
"Nope!"
Hesitantly, Thompson tried, "Nero fiddling over the burning of Rome?" He winced when Lee laughed.
"I like where your head's at, but no! I can't fiddle."
"The gremlin king from Huge Maze?" Tambry said.
Mabel piped up, "No, but the wig came from a gremlin king costume and I appreciate you for recognizing that!" Tambry nodded in cool approval.
Bill dispensed of Lee, Nate, and Wendy's guesses—Greek Christmas tree, that one guy who keeps painting burning banks, and hair metal Hades—before Robbie loudly cleared his throat to cut in. "Anyway, would love to stay and chat, but we've gotta move if we wanna be in position before sunset. Dipper, Mabel, you ready?"
"Ready to ghost it up!" Mabel said, squeezing around Bill with Dipper onto the porch.
Robbie surveyed their makeup—deathly white skin, ashen grey lips, and dark circles around their eye sockets. "Yeah, that's pretty good. Could use a little color, maybe. Like bloody tears?" He turned toward Tambry.
She said, "I think I've got some red eyeliner."
"'In position'?" Bill asked, giving Dipper and Mabel a questioning look.
Wendy said, "We're helping Robbie film this music video tonight."
"We're the creepy ghost twins!" Mabel announced proudly. "We get to sing the chorus."
Robbie said, "Yeah, the song's about childhood and growing up, but like, with ghosts? Because once you've grown up, your childhood is all dead? It's metal, but introspective. I'm calling the genre 'intrometal.'" He flipped his bangs dramatically. "It's a super deep song. Metaphorical layers."
"Oh yeah?" Bill stared Robbie down. "Sing some of it."
Robbie blinked. "Oh. Yeah, okay uh, I haven't warmed up my voice but, the hook is like—" He pantomimed playing a guitar and whisper-screamed, "'BABY DOLLS! BASKET BALLS! BASKET CASE! HUMAN RACE!' Like that."
Bill nodded slowly, face expressionless. "Ah, yeah, I see. Really deep stuff. Makes you think."
"Thanks." Robbie looked at Dipper and Mabel. "Anyway, if we're gonna get any footage in the graveyard before the jack-o'-melons start burning out, we've gotta move. Let's go, Creepy Ghost Twins."
"Wait, you're going out?" Bill asked Mabel. "Like out-out? Leaving me here? By myself? On Summerween?"
"Wh—yeah, we're only handing out candy for half the night," Mabel said. "I told you that."
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"When?"
Mabel thought. "No I didn't," she admitted. "Sorry!"
Wendy punched Bill's arm. "Sorry to steal them. We'll be back in a couple of hours," she said. "Or you could come help—?"
"No!" Dipper and Mabel both shoved Bill back into the house before he could accept. Dipper said, "You've gotta—guard the house." Mabel added, "And hand out candy!"
"Right," Bill said flatly. "Yes. That. Ha."
"See you later!" Mabel said, and then shut the door in his face.
The last thing he heard was Wendy explaining to her friends, "He's on house arrest for, like, academic plagiarism and war crimes or something..." and then they were gone.
Bill's shoulders slumped. Well, now what? He couldn't celebrate a holiday by himself. What was the point of wearing a costume if no one sees you in it. He picked up a piece of candy, discovered it was one of his decoys, and picked up another.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Yeah, yeah," Bill sighed. He picked up the candy bowl, turned toward the door, and paused. Ah. Right. What was he supposed to do with this impenetrable portal-blocking slab of wood.
Who was left in the house? Stan on the roof, Ford in the basement, Abuelita probably already in bed... were any of them worth harassing to help him answer the door? Maybe Stan, he'd gotten all dressed up, he liked the holiday even if he didn't like Bill—
The trick-or-treater knocked more insistently.
Or. Or.
He could pick up the bowl, peer out the small window in the door, and make direct eye contact with the children outside while he ate candy.
As a piece of mid-tier chocolate melted on his tongue, he saw three trick-or-treaters' faces fall as their faith in a kind, caring universe died. He grinned at them and ate another chocolate.
Oh yeah. He grabbed the rest of his cider from the living room and set up post next to the door. This would keep him entertained the rest of the night.
####
He made seven small children cry.
####
Stan watched from his post on the roof as yet another sobbing kid ran away from the shack. "HA! Gottem! Sucker!" He affectionately patted his boombox. "Creepy ghoulish laughter, you never disappoint! Terrifying moochers since 1989!" He paused the cassette and rewound it a few seconds to replay the best part.
He heard a scraping sound above him, and looked up just in time to see Ford sliding down the roof to join him. "Oh, hey! I didn't think we'd see you again tonight."
"Mabel made me promise to celebrate Summerween a little."
"Good for her!"
Stan had already claimed the sun lounger, so Ford brushed some dust and leaves off the roof's cooler and sat. "So, what are we doing? Scaring trick-or-treaters?"
"Yep. This year I'm taking a more atmospheric approach." He gestured at his boombox, which by now was playing haunting organ music. "Nothing like screaming zombies and rattling chains from nowhere to freak out the kids."
Ford nodded. "Psychological torment. I approve."
"Not quite as good as getting to see the terror in their eyes, but." Stan shrugged. "Bill was hanging out with the kids. I didn't want to put up with him."
"Mm. There's a reason I was spending the holiday in the basement."
"Heh. Well, there's always Halloween."
They were silent for a moment, listening as the cassette moved on from organ music to werewolf howls. Stan asked, "Think we'll be rid of him by then? I know we were hoping to be done with him before the Fourth of July—but since I haven't heard anything lately, I figure you hit a roadblock."
Ford winced. "Guilty as charged." He was still relearning how to keep other people in the loop. Even Stan. "You're right. I have a weapon that can destroy him, but I can't find a fuel source without restarting the portal. I'm hoping Fiddleford will come up with a solution I haven't."
Stan nodded. Ford had told him he was getting Fiddleford involved; even as reluctant as Ford was to admit how little progress he'd made, he wasn't going to tell someone outside the family about Bill without letting Stan know. "Any breakthroughs on his end?"
####
During the credits between episodes of the retired samurai period drama (most recently, the samurai had been asked to use his sword to help cut flowers for a bouquet), Fiddleford leaned over and whispered to Ford, "So I've been a-lookin' at those blueprints you left me."
"And...?"
"And I've constructicated a power adaptor. Just jimmy out the fuel tank, swap it for the adaptor's cord, and you can power that weapon by pluggin' it into the wall! It'll just drain all the power from the town for a few seconds, that's all."
"Fiddleford, that's amazing—"
"Now, hold on. There's bad news," Fiddleford said. "Try as I might, I can't quite get it to draw enough power to activate those energy-destroying features what you'd need to disintegrate Bill. It'll work like a powerful laser, but nothin' else."
Ford sighed. "It's a starting point, I suppose."
"I'll send you home with the adaptor anyway. Never know when you'll need a big laser."
"Very true. Do you have any promising leads on other alternative fuels?"
Fiddleford shook his head. "It's the NowUSeeitNowUDontium or nothing. But I've got a hunch we could synthesize it under lab conditions. I'll letcha know in a few days."
And then the next episode started, and they dropped the conversation.
####
Ford let out a heavy sigh. "He's only had a partial success so far. But I'm hopeful he's on the right track."
"So, if he's working on this weapon, what are you doing?"
"Waiting, mostly. I don't know what else I can do."
Stan frowned. "What—that's it? You've been downstairs all day every day—if you're not figuring out how to destroy him, what are you doing?"
"Passing time somewhere I can be on call if he gets up to something—but I don't have to look at him," Ford said wryly. "And—as long as I'm waiting to hear back from Fiddleford, I've been... picking apart that list of spells Bill gave me. To see if any of them are tricks or traps."
Stan couldn't say he was surprised. That was his workaholic brother. A pamphlet of demon magic was like catnip to him. If anything, Stan was almost glad Ford had that letter to distract him. Over the past year...
Well, Ford was fine on land—when he temporarily had a mystery to solve, an adventure to pursue, an anomaly to study, a distraction to fill his time—but at sea, when his mind was unoccupied, he was listless. He had books he didn't read, field notes he didn't enter into his journal, games he didn't play. He fed himself and exercised and did chores around the ship like a robot programmed to take care of itself, and he stared out at the sea.
Last summer, Ford hadn't seemed happy but he'd seemed alive. Tired and angry, but alive. But after Weirdmageddon, a light in his eyes went out. Stan didn't know if it was the end of summer, or guilt over the memory gun, or the gap between finishing a thirty-year-long quest and discovering the next one. All Stan knew was the light hadn't come back on until the moment Bill Cipher, clad in a new body and a purple cartoon bedsheet, tried to cave Ford's skull in.
Ever since they were children, Ford had had a tendency to develop obsessions. It was somehow simultaneously both what made him most interesting and what made him boring. Depended on the obsession. But these all-consuming interests had always tended to last a few months, at most a year; and he'd never seemed to be without one, much less for nine months. Stan had no idea what carrying a single obsession for three decades might have done to Ford's mind.
Stan was glad something had woken Ford back up, and he worried that losing that focal point again might leave Ford permanently adrift. But another part of him worried that, this time, Ford wouldn't let the object of his obsession go. He tended to collect things related to his obsessions.
But then, he usually tended to like his obsessions. He hadn't seemed bothered to burn the contents of his creepy Bill shrine last summer. Ford wouldn't do anything stupid, Stan told himself. Ford hated Bill. "So? Were any of the spells traps?"
"Not... so far, no." Ford sounded irritated by this.
Stan shrugged. "Makes sense. He's trying to butter us up. If that idiot thinks being nice to us for a week or two is gonna make up for the years of grief he's given us—"
A loud rattle-clattering below made them both start. Stan sat bolt upright. "What the—?"
Ford inched to the edge of the dormer roof, knelt down, and leaned over the edge just far enough to see the window.
Bill's face was pressed to the glass, eye rolled up toward the roofline. He grinned in surprised delight and shouted through the glass, "HEY, STANFORD! What are you doing up here?! I thought you were downstairs!"
"Ugh." Ford turned to grimace at Stan. "Speak of the devil."
Bill pounded on the glass again. "Hey, Sixer! SIXER! Open the window!"
"Why?"
"I wanna talk!"
"No."
"Come ooon, the kids ditched me and I'm bored! There's no one in the house to talk to! The old lady's asleep and Stanley's on the roof, so—" He abruptly fell silent, squinting with deep suspicion at Ford-who-should-be-in-the-basement kneeling on the-roof-where-Stan-should-be, and said, "Wait. Are you Stanley right now? Show me your hand."
Ford did not. "Go away, Bill." He left the edge of the roof for his cooler seat.
"Get back here!" The pounding redoubled. "I don't care which Stan you are! If you don't wanna talk, I can always go wake up Dolores!"
Ford looked at Stan. "Mrs. Ramirez's name is Dolores?" He had gotten used to everyone calling her Abuelita.
Stan stomped on the roof, "Shaddup!"
Bill did not shaddup. "Come ooon!"
Stan sighed in defeat and heaved himself to his feet. "If he keeps that racket up he's gonna break that window, never mind that hex you put on him." When they'd taken out the original Bill-shaped window, Stan had replaced it with the cheapest window he could find. He didn't think it was very durable. "How much trouble can he get in with one open window twenty feet above the ground and both of us watching him?"
Ford Frowned.
"Don't gimme that look. Do you want to pay for a broken window?" Stan flipped through his keys for his key-shaped emergency lock pick, leaned over the edge of the roof, and wedged the pick into the window frame. The latch popped open. Lucky this window was so cheap, that wouldn't have worked on one with deluxe features like "airtight weatherstripping" or "a properly-fitting frame." Stan swung open the window. "Okay, you have our attention. Now what's the fastest way we can get rid of you?"
Bill clumsily climbed out to sit on the windowsill with his legs in the shack, and leaned back so he could see up onto the roof. "Hiya Fo—" He lost his balance, flailed, and yelped as he toppled backwards.
Stan and Ford lunged forward to seize an arm each. Stan snapped, "What are you doing, you maniac?!"
Bill stared up at them both in wide-eyed amazement. "You do like me."
Stan made a noise of disgust, let go, and wiped his hands on his pants like Bill had cooties.
Ford said, "We like you trapped in that body and not free to cause the apocalypse."
"I heard 'we like you'!"
"Shut up." Ford managed to haul Bill back upright. (Touching Bill felt wrong—all soft flesh and skin and the suggestion of bones underneath. Even when looking right at Bill's human body, Ford still expected him to feel like heavy shadows and heatless flames.) From this close, Bill reeked of cider. "Just how much have you had to drink?"
"Not so much I won't remember whatever you say in the morning, so be nice to me!" Bill laughed. He leaned back, this time hanging by one hand off the window frame to precariously maintain his balance, and grinned up at Ford. "So! The least fun person in the house has finally emerged from his lair? And you didn't even come into the house to join in the Summerween festivities! 'All work and no play'..."
Ford had to crouch at the edge of the roof, hovering nearby in case Bill lost his balance again. "I wanted to participate in Summerween, actually. It just so happens that the last person I'd ever spend a holiday with is in the house."
"Listen, Stanford. I know you're holing up in your study for days on end just to hurt me. But let's be honest, you're hurting yourself more! When's the last time you saw the sunlight! Look at how pale you're getting, you look like a vampire."
Stiffly, Ford said, "It's costume makeup. That's my vampire costume." Stan laughed.
"It what." Bill flipped up his eyepatch and squinted blearily at Ford's face.
Wordlessly, Ford bared his teeth to show off his plastic vampire teeth.
"Oh." Somewhat deflated, Bill said, "Nice work, it's convincing."
"Thanks," Ford said grudgingly. Giving in to his curiosity, he gestured toward Bill's (somewhat disheveled) reddish-yellow wig. "What are you."
"Oh!" Bill perked back up. "You've got to see the whole thing. Hold on—" He turned around in the window, ignoring how Ford half reached for him in case he needed steadying, until he got his legs outside to dangle on the roof. "What do you think!"
Ford looked over the brown toga flared out like a cone, the eruption of red hair, the small paper city below, and said, "Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii? Very clever."
Bill's face lit up. "Finally! You're the first person all day to get it!" He smoothed out the skirt proudly, his jerky gestures just a bit more exaggerated than usual. "Do you know how long I've wanted to go to a costume party as Vesuvius? But nobody off Earth would get it! And now that I'm finally here, I can't go to parties and I'm shaped more like a mandrake than a volcano." He flung up his hands, wobbled, and caught himself before Ford had to intervene. "But at least you got it. I knew I could count on you, IQ."
He sounded so sincerely grateful. Ford regretted calling the costume clever. It was, but Bill didn't need the ego boost.
"Oh! By the by—I didn't think you'd emerge before the day was over, so I saved this." Bill fished around in his toga until he retrieved a mini pack of jelly beans. "Here!"
Ford eyed the pack. "Why is it open?"
"Because you only like the weird-shaped jelly beans, so I ate all the normal beans and saved the weird ones in one bag."
"I don't want this. You touched every one of the beans, that would be disgusting even if they weren't coming from you," Ford said. "Anyway, this is a patently transparent attempt to buy your way into my good favor—"
"It sure is, Ford, and if you don't accept it I'll get to be annoying about your ingratitude for weeks! Is that what you want? You know I'll do it. Everyone will be on my side—"
Ford sighed, but snatched the bag from Bill's hand. "Fine. Now drop it."
"That's more like it!" Bill favored Ford with an approving smile. "Anyway, it's just about the only candy left in the house, I ate everything else—hey, have you ever been cross faded on cider and a sugar rush?"
Ford was still trying to decide whether he wanted to engage in this one-sided conversation enough to ask Bill what "cross faded" meant when Bill moved on without him: "It's—not that interesting, actually. 6 out of 10. Anyway, all that's left in the bowl is mints and wrappers. And Mabel even managed to give most of the mints away—hey, she's so nice, did you know she's helping to resurrect the Summerween Trickster?"
She was doing what? "No. Why?"
"She's so nice."
"You just said that."
"What is she so nice for. What's she getting out of it," Bill asked, more to the universe at large than to Ford. "If more humans were half as nice to freaks as she is, your rotten planet wouldn't need people like you and me to save it."
Ford didn't even know where to begin with that. He looked to Stan for help.
Stan was sitting straddling his lounger, elbow on one knee and chin in his hand, watching this exchange like he was watching a weird bug on the wall try to navigate around a picture frame. At Ford's glance, he rolled his eyes and pantomimed sipping from a drink.
He could say that again. Ford cleared his throat. "Bill, maybe you should..."
"Hey," Bill said. "Great talk, we really should catch up more sometime. And pull your weight next time, I always have to do all the talking. But right now, I'm..." He gestured vaguely off to the side. "I'm gonna lie down and try not to throw up. Ciao!" He swayed as he tried to get back in the window, tumbled backward into the shack, and thudded heavily on the floor. "Ow."
Ford gingerly shut the window.
Stan turned up the boombox. "Chatty drunk, isn't he."
"He's chatty sober, too." But in front of the kids? Neither of them saw Bill as a role model, but they still didn't need to be exposed to that kind of behavior. Especially when the responsible adults were outside or asleep... "Did we really leave Bill alone in the house with the kids?"
"W—I—" Stan shrugged defensively. "They were all right! They can take him! They're doing karate or whatever! You didn't see how Mabel flipped him at the mall! It was like David wrestling Goliath."
"David and Goliath didn't wrestle."
"You know what I mean."
Ford supposed he didn't think Bill was any threat to the children. At least, not right now, and not physically. He felt like he'd know if Bill was about to try anything.
He looked at his open bag of gross felt-up jelly beans. Speaking of trying to butter them up... Ford wound up and chucked the bag as hard as he could.
He stared into the dark after it.
A small part of him was beginning to wonder whether this wasn't all just an attempt to get Ford's guard down. The gifts, sure, that was as clear-cut a case of bribery as you could get. Nothing ambiguous there.
But the endless chatter... Back when Ford had called Bill his Muse, this was exactly how he'd wanted Bill to talk to him. Not in the flighty half-distracted way of a friendly businessman catching up on a work project's progress before hurrying on to the next meeting; but just talking for talking's sake, talking for the company.
Getting what he once had longed for made his skin crawl. And he couldn't even tell if Bill was acting.
The boombox let out a ghastly banshee shriek. Ford and Stan both jumped, then laughed awkwardly.
Ford sat on the cooler again. "Is it just me, or... did Bill completely ignore you as soon as he realized I was up here."
"Well. I wasn't gonna mention it. I didn't wanna sound jealous of the attention. But yeah—he's been doing that since he got here. If you're in the room, he tunes everyone else out."
"I thought it was in my head." And he hadn't wanted to sound like he wanted to imagine Bill was favoring him.
"And you do the same thing around him," Stan said, and laughed at Ford's flinch of alarm. "It's—it's fine, I get it. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? You've got some kind of superhero-supervillain nemesis thing."
Ford got the distinct impression that Stan was offering him a convenient excuse for the tunnel vision. He took it. "I suppose that's true." The way his jaw clenched and his shoulders tensed around Bill certainly felt like a "nemesis" reaction.
But if Stan thought Ford was a bit too preoccupied by Bill... well, maybe he was right. Once Ford had gotten over his initial wave of fear, of despair, of outrage at the injustice, at finding Bill was still alive—there was a part of him that was almost relieved. A part of him that had been on guard against nothing for the past year, twisting around looking for an absent threat. Now that it knew where the threat was, that part of him could finally settle down and watch Bill with steady, certain eyes. Having nothing to worry about made him more anxious than having one thing to always worry about.
(Maybe Shermie's kid had been on to something when he suggested Ford might benefit from therapy.)
Knowing Bill was back didn't put the old starlight and awe back in that hole Bill had left in Ford's chest. But dread could fill a hole all the same.
Ford tried to push Bill out of his mind and the conversation. "You think I'm like a superhero?"
"You run around fighting monsters with a space laser. What else would you be?"
"Huh." Well. That made his night.
"Just as long as you don't pull that 'hero spares the villain to show how good he is' shtick."
"Never." Ford laughed ruefully. "I think I left 'good' behind a few felonies back." He'd probably left "good" behind the night he accepted the portal blueprints.
"Couple stragglers," Stan said, nodding out into the dark. It took Ford a moment to spot the costumed kids and remember it was Summerween. "I recognize those costumes, I scared them off an hour ago. What are they doing back?"
Ford squinted at them. "Are those toilet paper rolls?"
"Wh—Hey! What are you little runts— Hey!" Stan leaped to his feet, shaking his fist at the kids below. "Get away from my car! Stop that! I'll have you know that's a classic— No, not the eggs!"
Ford slid out his freeze ray, turned down the power, and offered it to Stan. "Here. At this power and distance, it'll feel like getting pelted with invisible snowballs."
Stan snatched up the weapon. "Eat this, twerps!"
The Summerween night air was filled with the screams of terrified children and the evil laughter of an old man.
####
Wow. It sure sounded like everybody was having fun. Outside. Without him.
Bill was nauseous.
He stared at the spinning ceiling, flat on his back, one leg on a cushion and the rest of him on the floor.
Bill was nauseous and alone. The loneliness tore at his throat. Even Mabel had ditched him. Of course she did—he'd tried to kill her. He'd barely even remembered he'd tried to kill her until she brought it up. Had he tried to kill her? No, surely not—he liked the kid, he'd always liked her—he'd been faking to force Ford's hand, he never would have gone through with it. He would've teleported her into another room and pretended he'd disintegrated her. She didn't know he hadn't meant it. She was just mad he'd scared her. She couldn't take a joke.
But, Ford talked to him. Ford even liked his costume. It wasn't much, but it would get Bill through the night.
When he saw Kryptos again—when, not if—he was slicing him into a jigsaw puzzle for not taking Bill's call. The nerve of that guy, hanging up on a human without even waiting a few words to see if they had anything interesting to say.
(What if it hadn't been an accident, he wondered? What if Kryptos had realized it was Bill and still hung up?)
(No. Of course it was an accident.)
He shut his eyes. He was probably too drunk to dream tonight. Well, he could try again tomorrow. His little lucid dreaming guide was currently teaching him to influence the next night's dream by focusing on a topic before sleep. Maybe tomorrow he could dream about the Nightmare Realm.
He missed home.
####
(Congratulations to the approximately 50% of respondents who correctly figured out Bill's costume when I posted the art on Halloween, you're officially smarter than everybody in Gravity Falls except Ford. This is one of those chapters with a whole lot going on so if you enjoyed, I'd love to hear your comments!!)
#(tbh that's the best Mabel & Dipper I've ever drawn)#bill cipher#human bill cipher#mabel pines#dipper pines#(for both the art & fic)#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#(for just the fic)#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls fic#my writing#my art#fanart#bill goldilocks cipher
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funny ways to say “in the middle of nowhere”
Collected funny ones under this post + contributions to this one (my selection). Most involve ass(holes), have god/the devil, (nonsense) names of villages…
🇩🇪German: in the ass of the world/ the pasture- am Arsch der Welt/der Weide; where Fox and Hare bid each other good night - Wo sich Fuchs und Hase Gute Nacht sagen (old-fashioned), where the dead dog lays - Da liegt der tote Hund, in Buxtehude/ (Kuh)kaff, in der Pampa, in Timbuktu
🇮🇹Italian: in assland - in culonia/culandia, in the wolves’ ass - in culo ai lupi, in the ass of the word - in culo al mondo; 🇫🇷 French in the asshole of the world - dans le trou du cul du monde
🇨🇿Czech: Where foxes bid good night to one another - Kde si lišky dávají dobrou noc
🇩🇰Danish: where the crows turn around - Hvor kragerne vender on Lars diarrheas field/on the field of Lars Shitpants - På lars tyndskids mark
🇳🇴Norwegian: far damn from violence - langt pokker i vold, “huttaheiti” (gibberish)
🇸🇪Swedish: out (there) in the spinach - ute i spenaten,“tjotaheiti” (see above, maybe originally from Tahiti)
🇪🇸in Spain: in the fifth hell/pine tree - En el quinto infierno/pino, where Christ lost the sandal/hat/lighter - Donde Cristo perdió la alpargata/gorra/mechero;
🇲🇽 Mexico: Where the devil farts - Donde el diablo se echa un pedo, and sometimes someone answers: “Y nadie lo escucha” And no one hears
🇹🇼in Taiwan: where birds don't lay eggs and dogs don't shit - 鳥不生蛋狗不拉屎的地方
🇵🇱Polish - where crows turn around - Gdzie wrony zawracają, where dogs bark from their ass - gdzie psy dupami szczekają 🐶; Where the devil says goodnight - Gdzie diabeł mówi dobranoc, where (black) pepper grows - gdzie pieprz rośnie, (mostly in the context of running as far away as possible or chasing someone away)
🇦🇺Australia: woop woop or "in the middle of woop woop' 🇳🇿 NZ: wop wops
🇻🇳Vietnamese: holy forests, poisonous waters - rừng thiêng nước độc / where mountain passes are windy/cloudy and winds swirl in vortexes - đèo heo hút gió or đèo mây hút gió (rarely used)
🇨🇦🇫🇷 Québéc: Saint clin clin des meuhs meuhs (actual village name…)
🇸🇦 Arabic (Saudi dialect): in the castle of wadren في مقلاع وادرين (an old castle in the middle of desert)
🇮🇱 in Israel: Israel: at the end of the world, take a turn left - סוף העולם שמאלה
🇫🇮Finnish: behind God’s back - jumalan selän takana, in the devil’s ass - helvetin perseessä;
🇬🇷 Greek: at the devil’s horn - Στου διαόλου το κέρατο;
🇧🇬 Bulgarian: on the ass of geography - На гъза на географията
🇮🇸 Icelandic Out in an asshole - úti í rassgati;
🇧🇷 in Brazil: in cock’s house - na casa do caralho;
🇦🇷 in Argentina: in the pussy of the parrot- en la concha de la lora 🦜;
🇪🇪 Estonian: in the bear's ass - karuperses 🐻
🇺🇸 USA: bumfuck Egypt
🇧🇪 in Belgium (Dutch): in a farmer’s asscrack - in een boerengat
🇺🇦 Ukrainian: in the devil's swamps в чорта на кулічках, where the crow won't carry bones куди ворон кісток не заносить
#langblr#language blog#idioms#funny idioms#foreign languages#language facts#my selection#my fav is the german one <33333#polyglot#have had this in the drafts for more than a year i guess#mine#my lists
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Since you made a post about lore Olympus’ fashion,could you tell us what kind of fashion characters in rekindled usually wear?
For the most part, considering it's a modernized retelling just like LO, I try to focus on the character's personality first and then refine from there.
Currently where Kore is in her character arc, she's very cottage-core in her outfit choices, favoring light springtime colors that compliment her skin tone. She also often wears dresses and skirts both because she thinks they're pretty, and also because it gives her a lot more range of motion, she doesn't like being constricted or too revealing. Even when she wears dresses and skirts that are on the shorter side, she'll still usually be wearing leggings and/or shorts underneath. That said, her fashion choices will change and develop as her character does throughout the story, she has a few different phases that she goes through that start to go outside of her comfort zone, so keep an eye out for that ;)
On the flipside, Hades is often wearing pressed suits and has grown used to wearing the same wardrobe often as, like the rest of his life, he's fallen into a very standardized routine. That said, he also wears his Mortal Realm garb when he's doing his job addressing the mortals, as it's standard protocol to keep all modern amenities away from them (including expensive suits lol) That said, when we see him in more casual settings such as the Olive Branch restaurant, he and his brothers are usually wearing more modern Mediterranean outfits, including colorful button-ups and sandals (though Hades often still sticks to his darker color schemes as it's, again, what he's accustomed to). Like Kore, Hades will also be going through some fashion developments as the story goes on and as he learns to step outside of his own comfort zone. I've got some future suit ideas planned for when the story moves on, I wanna give him some more flair than his default settings from LO 😆 (trust me, that moment when Persephone teased him for wearing nothing but black suits is gonna come back into play eventually LOL)
Artemis and Hermes are both really athletic so their clothing often reflects that, they both like tracksuits and sportswear, though Artemis is seen a few times throughout the series so far wearing Mortal Realm garb because she's someone who's often working in the Mortal Realm.
Hecate is a lot of fun because not only is she a lot more androgynous, but I also get to come up with fun outfits that reflect the witch side of her.
Apollo is a very "slap it on and get on with the day" kinda guy (especially considering he works long shifts with lots of early mornings) so a lot of what he wears are hoodies, t-shirts, cargo shorts, sandals, etc. He doesn't need much to get by and considering he works with Helios, he never really needs to bundle up too much LMAO
Demeter is one of the only gods who's always drawn in Mortal Realm attire as that's where she mainly resides. This largely includes Mycenaean-style garb, such as the chiton and peplos.
I've found this particular site very helpful for providing both inspiration and context to specific outfits where Ancient Greek standards come into play. As for the modern outfits, it's really just about having fun meshing the characters' personalities in with modern fashion styles of Greek fashion. It makes for a lot of outfits that are made up of flowing fabrics with lots of color and movement accessibility.
Just wait until we get to Aphrodite and Ares though. Whooo I have plans for them LOL
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One evening, I got possessed and redesigned Captain Marvel. Well, redesigned and rewrote.
Long explanation about it under the cut.
Captain Marvel is the gods' champion, but in canon, his capacities come from a mix of gods, from both the Roman and the Greek pantheon, and heroes, Greek or biblical. In comparison, Black Adam's capacities come only from Egyptian gods, making him their champion. Therefor, let's bring down SHAZAM to just Greek gods, as we need Zeus for the thunder. There's also a period during which Mary Marvel gets her capacities from a mix of goddesses and one god, so let's mix the gender again. Here is the new hexad:
S - the stamina of Selene - Selene is the goddess of the moon, who, like her brother with the sun, drags the moon behind her chariot. But, if the sun disappears each night (in Greece), the moon stays in the sky for weeks, so stamina! There aren't a lot of Greek gods with name in S, so let me have this (also, I love the moon and any moon goddess).
H - the speed of Hermes - Hermes is the messenger of the male gods, who is known for his speed, because of the wings on his ankles. Nothing more complicated.
A - the strength of Atlas - I kept Atlas, but I changed him for strength because holding the world up requires more strength than stamina imo. The representations of Atlas often show a man doing an extreme physical effort, it demonstrates more strength than stamina to me.
Z - the power of Zeus - Didn't change. The king of the gods and the thunder guy.
A - the courage of Ares - Ares is the god of courage, that's in his domain of expertise.
M - the wisdom of Metis - The first goddess of wisdom, eaten by Zeus, and the mother of Athena, the second goddess of wisdom. "But, she's kind of "dead"?" And Black Adam got his power from Aten, who was the only god of the Aten religion of Akhenaton, and so, not with the Egyptian pantheon.
As the champion of the Greek gods, Captain Marvel needs to look the part. I'm a hater of the original latex superhero costume, I want some real fashion. It has served its purpose, it's time to change. Ancient Greece's armors were the principal inspiration, but some other bits of Ancient Greece's fashion were also brought in. Sandals are a bold choice, I admit, but that's what Greeks wore to war and we are talking about an indestructible being. Soldiers also wore what would be considered a skirt now, so I want to include that, and I even thought of a joke: when Billy first transforms, he makes a comment about the "skirt", and the sorcerer goes "Ah yes! When men used to dress like men." (Did you get it? It's a joke about how those bigoted idiots will complain about men wearing anything labelled as "feminine" about how "men don't dress like real men anymore", totally ignorant of how what is "masculine" or "feminine" depends on the time period and culture, and heels were created to make men look powerful and ride horses to war.) However, I'm uncomfortable with skirts in design for flying superheroes, if there's nothing under, so he gets leggings, bringing back some of the original suit. The cape is also asymmetrical.
While researching information about Captain Marvel for this redesign, I learned that DC is evil:
Fawcett Comics created Captain Marvel in the 40s, by taking some inspiration from Superman from Detective Comics, but with a lot of differences still. It was a success, and Captain Marvel became more popular than Superman, selling more than the adventures of Clark Kent. DC didn't like that, and they sued FC for plagiarism, saying Captain Marvel was a copy of Superman. And, for some reason, they won. So, FC had to stop selling Captain Marvel and the Marvel family's comics, and the readers went back to Superman, giving money to DC. Decades goes back, Marvel is born and they create Captain Marvel, the name being free to use. FC, they are not having a good time. There's no money, and so, they are selling. AND WHO BOUGHT THEM? THAT'S RIGHT: DC! And once they own FC, what do DC do? Bring back the cash cow, Captain Marvel! So, it was plagiarism, but only when they couldn't make money from it. They cannot use Captain Marvel anymore because of Marvel, so it's Shazam, but they successfully "stole" the success of a smaller company than them. DC was doing evil capitalism before it was a thing, in the 40s!
Therefore, I can do whatever I want and DC cannot stop me, they don't deserve those characters. And this redesign has now become me rewriting Shazam. So, when Billy transforms into Captain Marvel, he is not another personality (like the current DC's canon), it's still him, but in a young adult body, a body at his peak athletic performance.
Now, Black Adam, which is where I start doing my own story. I will not lie, I knew nothing about Black Adam, apart from the fact that he is a bad guy and he really loves his wife. Well, if he loves his wife, he must be attractive, because that's hot. And Black Adam, born Teth-Adam in Ancient Egypt, is chosen by the sorcerer known as Shazam as his successor. This means two things: 1, Black Adam is an Egyptian, and 2, he is young. In DC's canon, he is Ramesses II' son, but I will just make him from the Ancient Egyptian nobility, but this explains the short/shaved hair, as rich Egyptians would wear wigs and have their hair shaved for hygiene.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room: the absence of a thunderbolt, or more so, it's replacement by an angular sun. Black Adam's power doesn't come for Zeus, a god of thunder, but Aten, a sun god, like Ra. So, Black Adam shouldn't have the abilities to manipulate thunder, but the sun. And not the sun as a ball of burning gaz, the sun as a source of rays of light and heat, like the Egyptians saw it. His power is connected to light, arrows of heat as Egyptians saw it, and the sun is angular to share similarities with the thunderbolt. Like Captain Marvel, he needs to dress like the champion of the gods, Egyptian this time. I took inspiration from Ancient Egypt's armors and fashion: the top being this scaly leather they wore, sandals being back again but Egyptian's style... There are more artistic details in Black Adam's suit to highlight is social class, and there are two kinds of details. The first ones are associated to his power, like his collar, which is a frequent accessory in Ancient Egypt, which has rays to symbolize the rays of the sun, coming from his head, from himself, or his greaves, which also have sunbeams. The second ones are more associated to his culture as an Egyptian and the sun. His forearm armors are imitating the wings added to scarab amulet, which were put over mommies, and these scarabs fly to the sun, aka Ra, with the dead. His cape is also taking the shape of these wings. And his belt displays the eye of Ra, a sun disk with cobras coiled around it, an extension of the god's power, a symbol of his destructive and protective capacities.
To end, this is my rewrite of Shazam's story:
During Ancient Egypt, under Akhenaten so ca 1350 to 1330 before Christ, a sorcerer decided to summon the god Aten with a magic ritual, asking for a champion, a hero to protect humankind. All powerful Aten, impressed to have been summoned by a mere mortal, accepted to fulfill his demand. He called five gods to join him, and each gave a gift, added to his own power of the sun. Aten finally gifted the result to the man, and explained how to summon it: by yelling the gods' names, SHAZAM! Before leaving, the god, moved by the mortal's humility and his care for humankind, gifted him immortality. The sorcerer refused, it's too much. Aten pushed, because a man like this is rare, but he will lower the gift. He will age until a certain age, and then stop, never dying from old age or getting sick. However, he can still get killed. The sorcerer went on to do his mission, why he had called the god, and more as the years went on. Anytime he transformed, he would become the young athletic champion of the Egyptian gods. When he got around 60 years old, he decided to find an heir. He chose Teth-Adam, a young man and member of the Egyptian nobility, who had demonstrated his qualities all around the kingdom. But he, sadly, soon was corrupted by his new power and abused it, trying to take over the throne. The sorcerer had to intervene, but his heir was too strong to kill or to let go of his powers. So, the sorcerer took his soul with the power, and enclosed it in a scarab amulet he buried with the pharaohs. A millennium went by, and the old sorcerer now answered to the name Shazam. With the arrival of Alexander the Great, he went on to travel through the Greek land. But, a new catastrophe was coming, and so, having lost his power, he summoned Zeus like he summoned Aten. Zeus, impressed by the mortal, accepted to redo the gift of the gods. He called five gods and added their gifts to his own power of the thunder. Shazam could save humankind again. Zeus, to applaud his heart, asked him to choose a gift, not for the champion but for himself. Shazam asked to know when he will die, so he could find the perfect heir. The Fates gave him the answer. Shazam, afraid of his last mistake, refused to find an heir for centuries, millennia, and traveled through the world, saving humankind. He had a magic secret temple, on another plane, he could go to. But the date of his death was approaching, and Shazam had yet to find a champion. Everyone he met wasn't good enough for him. His last pick? Billy Batson. And Billy was far from the perfect champion he needed, but not the worst. With no time to waste, Shazam gave his power to Billy, before dying, crushed by a rock. When Billy Batson yells "SHAZAM!", he transforms into an adult version of himself, at his peak athletic performance, and becomes the champion of the Greek gods. The ghost of the sorcerer guides him through his adventures, during which he encounters Teth-Adam, now Black Adam. Teth-Adam's amulet was found by archeologists in the 19th century, and it had strange effects on everyone who landed their eyes on it, people fighting for the small treasure. Finally, one (shitty) archeologist stole the scarab and flew back to the USA with it. As time went on, the amulet's control over him became stronger, and he finally caved into opening it to see what was inside. But, sadly for him, it only contained the powerful soul of once the champion of the Egyptian gods, who took possession of his body and transformed it, killing him in the process. Now, Teth-Adam lives forever as Black Adam.
#shazam#dc captain marvel#billy batson#black adam#teth adam#dc comics#fanart#my art#character design#traditional art#watercolor#colored pencils
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Lord Hermes Deep dive
Lord Hermes is amazing, he is the darling of the gods and of our hearts, he is strong in gymnastics and in spirit, he is the last thing we see, and the lord of our words, and as a worshiper and as a researcher I believe he is amazing and wonderful, I absolutely adore him, so I should probably stop writing, or it'll become a love letter, but I've worshiped this god for around 2 years, maybe more, but I know well he is amazing and deserves respect.
Herbs • Krokos (Crocus) koumara Tree, olives/olive oil, crocus, hydrangea, chrysanthemum, Palm tree, Almond tree, The Silver Birch tree, Crocuses, Saffron, Wheat, Rosemary, Pine Tree, Mint, Cinnamon, Cassia, Golden Benzoin, moly, strawberry
Animals• sheep, dogs, boars, lions, Tortoise, Ram, The dove killing species of Hawk, Hares, constellation Lepus, pig, beef, mutton, pork, Cattle/oxen, roster, birds of omen, snakes, and guard dogs, fish, horses
Colors• Red, purple, silver, gold, copper, and black, Orange, Grey, Green, Red, white and brown (associated with traveling)
Crystal• Amethyst, Quartz, Orange topaz, Agate, Marble, smoky quartz, copper, silver, and gold, Eisenkiesel Quartz, Silver, Yellow Topaz, Amber, Citrine, Emerald, and Peridot, red marble, Hematite, jade, malachite, fluorite, pyrite, lapis lazuli, alexandrite
Symbol• Caduceus, Kerykeion (Herald’s staff and magic wand, lulls mortals to sleep and can wake mortals at will), Winged Cap (also called petasos, and a brimmed cap, this cap was called “Cap of Aidoneus, the unseen” because it rendered its wearer invisible), Golden Sickle, Winged Boots- called “pteroeis pedila”, A Sack (the kibisis) Talaria (winged sandals), and Petasos (winged helmet), golden or adamantine blade, shepherd pipes, Purse, Pouch, Hermai.
Mortal or immortal • immortal
Zodiac• Gemini and Virgo, and cancer
Equivalent (this means alike, not the same) - Mercury (Roman), Hyperion (Greek), , Horus (Egyptian), Ra (Egyptian), Amun (Egyptian), Freyr (Norse), Bragi (Norse), Odin (Norse), Baldr (Norse), Heimdallr (Norse), Lugh (Celtic), Áine (Celtic), Mercurius (Roman god), Thoth (Egyptian god), Anubis (Egyptian god), Woden-Odin (Germanic god)
Attendees • Oreiades (oreads), Pan & the panes, Satyroi, oneiroi, he is often seen with Hestia.
Ephiphets• Agetor -Guide of Souls, Agonius or Enagonius -pertaining (Hermes’ role as presider over solemn festivals such as Agonius) Agoraea and Agoraeus- to Gods who were considered being the protectors of the assemblies of the people in the agora (also has a reference to the agora as the marketplace), Argeiphontes- “radiant one’, Euskopos Argeiphontes, literally “the sharp-eyed Slayer of Argos”, Chthonius or Chthonios, “of the earth or underworld, Hermes Trismegistus- “Thrice Great Hermes”, Kriophoros- the “ram-bearer” is a figure that commemorates the solemn sacrifice of a ram, Leucus- “white”- an epithet of Hermes in Boetia, a Greek city containing Thebes, “Of the Golden Blade”- he carried a sickle made of adamant, Cyllenius, or Kullhnios- from His birth or temple site on mount Cyllene in Arcadia, Diaktoros Argeiphontes – “the courier” Argeiphontes, Kratus Argeiphontes- “strong” Argeiphontes, Hermes Promakhos- “the Champion” Logios- writer, knower of intelligent design, Tetragonos- four square, Aglaos -Splendid, Agoraios - Of the Market Place, Aipytos -Of Aipytos, Akakesios -Of Akakesion, Angelos -Messenger, Agreiphontes -Argus-Slaying, Bouphonos -Slayer of Oxen, Dioktoros -Messenger, Dolios -Crafty One, Enagonios- Of the Games, Enodios - of the Road, Epimelios - Keeper of the flocks, Eriounios - Luck-Bringer, Euangelos - Bringer of Glad Tidings, Euskopos - Watchful, Gumnasiarkhos - Leader of the Gymnasium, Hermeneutes - Interpreter, Kerdoos - the Gainful, Kerukes -Herald, Kharmophron—Heart-Delighting, Khthonios - of the Earth, Khrysorrhapis -Of the Golden Wand, Klepsiphron - Deceiver, Kourotrophos - Protector of Youth, Kranaios- unknown, Krateros - Mighty, Kriophoros - Ram-Bearer, Kullenios - Of Mount Kyllene, Logios -of Speech, Maiados Huios - Son of Maia, Mekhaniotes - Trickster, Nomios - Protector of Flocks, Oiopolos - Shepherd, Pantokrator- Ruler of the World, Pheletes -Thief, Poikilometes - Full of Various Wiles, Poneomenos - Busy One, Promakhos- Champion, Propulaios - Before the Gates, Psukhopompos - Conveyer of Souls, Takhus - Swift, Tetragonos - Square, Trikephalos - Of the Three Ways/Heads, Trismegestos - Thrice-Greatest, Tukhon- Bringer of Luck, Aglaos- Radiant, Bright, Beautiful, Pleasin, enevolent. Angelos Athanatôn - messenger of the gods, Angelos Makarôn- messenger of the Blessed, Akhos Phêlêteôn- leader of robbers and thieves, Chrysorrhapis- of the Golden wand, Dais herairos - comrade of the forest, Diaktoros- guide & messenger, Dolios- Craft of Wiles, Dôtor Eaôn - giver of good things, Dôtor eaôn- Giver of good things, Enagônions- giver of good things, Enagônios-of the game, Epimêlios-Keeper of the flocks, Erikydês- famous, glorious & splendid, Eriounês - Luck bringing & ready helper, Euskopos-Keen-sighted, Hermêneutês- interpreter/translator, Kharidôtês- giver of joy/graces, Kharmonphrôn- Glad-Hearted, Krateros- Strong & mighty, Kriophoros- ram bearer, Kydimos-glorious, mastêrios- of searchers, mêkhaniôtês-trickster, Oiopolos- sheep tending& shepherd, Phêlêtês- their, robber, rustler, poikilomêtês- full of various wiles, Polytropos - Much traveled& much wandering, pompaios- the guide (he’s a psychopomp)
Element • air
Number•Four, eight, Squares
Past courtships• Merope, Aphrodite, Dryope, Peitho, and Hecate,
Personality• People say he is chaotic, some say he’s wise and can be calm, he does give serious advice and is a serious guy, but he also has a sense of humor and won’t always steal from you. (he won’t if you ask him not to..I think.) He is also sassy and side eyes (from other people) I find him difficult to track down, He's very kind and upbeat sometimes, depends on how u contact him and what mood he's in, he gives great advice and someone good to depend on.
Patron of• of cunning thieves and liars, Patron of herdsmen, Patron of orators, Patron of inventors, Cattle-herders, Shepherds, Goatherds, Horse & mule breeders, Grazing pastures, Cave shelters, Guard-dogs, Animal predators, Bucolic poetry, music, Animal fables (ex- the tales of Aesop), Laws of hospitality, he is the Protector of guests, Cattle-rustlers, Bandits, Crafty thoughts, Mail carriers and sorters, Retail workers, Canvassers , Editors, journalists, and writers, Newspaper routes, Bank tellers, Carnies , Casino workers, Gas station attendants, Mechanics, presentations, public speaking, playlists (I've heard this years ago)
Diety of• Divine Trickster, boundaries and thresholds, Creator of civilization as Trickster, Messenger of the Gods, transgressor of boundaries and taboos, Inventor of fire, Inventor of sacrifice, of mysteries, Bringer of sleep, dreams, and visions, free will, Psychopompos or Guide of the Dead, Escort of the Gods, thieves, graves, and heralds, Luck, Unexpected Fortune, Giver of Good, of sacrificial priests, successful communication with enemies, translation and language, gymnasia and athletic youth, logos world order, trade and commodities, astronomy, knowledge, speech, Inventor of boxing, running and foot races, of exchange, alchemy, science, internet, Magic, Presider at solemn sacrifices, Divine Movement, Ruler of the Orphic House of Cancer, Ruler of the Planet Mercury, Western astrological signs of Gemini and Virgo, Scribe of the Gods, Protector of all messengers especially in war, Protector of wise women and elderly women, Fertility and Procreation, God of Masturbation, Soul Transformation and Guide through Consciousness changes, Heraldry and animal husbandry, speed, Codes, and Secrets, Caretaker of graves, Protector of travelers, Mechanics, Wine-pourer of the Gods, Inventor of weights and balances, Controller of Birds of Omen, hospitality, diplomacy, physical and moral boundaries, Orators, presentation, public speaking
Home• Mount Olympus
Fact• He invented the alphabet and dice and the lyre, he also has a stone called the “hermai” on the side of the road or a stone with a penis (he was a fertility god) to show a border or a crossing, sometimes to explain direction and distance, or in important landmarks is up ahead, the herms were worshiped, with offerings and anointed with olive oil and adorned with flowers and wreaths, telling us about the sacredness and importance of the hermai. (The ones near tombs are also connected to funeral rites). Some say he created fire, because in his myth of his birth he started a fire to sacrifice cows to the gods.
Roots• Greek mythology, Mount Cyllene
Blessings • protection on the road, money randomly found, easy speaking, good parking, and less traffic. Herds multiply (fertility); Herds protected (from predators), Success in trade, Goods protected from thieves, having Persuasive speech, Poetic inspiration, Safe traveling, Protection of guests, Homes protected from thieves & criminals, having Wiliness and stealth,
Curses: Herds die off by disease and infertility, Herds lost to predators, Unsuccessful trade, loss in money, loss in memory, loss In conversation, unwelcome ghosts in the house.
Food recipe • Panspermia, a mixture of beans, peas, seeds, olive oil, milk, and honey, should only be offered to Hermes in his Underworld aspect. This offering is considered food for the dead and should not be tasted by the living (considered bad luck if Aten by living)
Offerings • Keys, Dice, Playing cards, Coins, Rocks/pebbles,Lucky charms (Cereal), Rabbit's foot, Horse shoe, Magic 8 ball, Coffee, Energy drinks, Herms, Road trip snacks (perhaps Hostess donuts), Airplanes/trains/cars imagery, Foreign/new foods, Trail mix, Peanut m&ms, rumane the marble popping soda drink, Turtles, Lyres/string instruments, Sandals/shoes/running shoes, Journals, Camping gear, Survival gear, like multitools, fire starters, first aid kits etc, Pens/pencils, Small (stolen) trinkets, Language dictionaries, Work out gear, Panpipes, Postcards, Letters, Mail, Stamps, Envelopes, Zodiac signs, Sheep/goats, Car parts, Backpacks/drawstring bags/bags, Crocos, Sticks, Saffron, Sticks, Books, Cups, Scales, Dream journals, Graveyard dirt, Cookie fortunes, Bikes/skateboards/skate, Old licenses/IDs, Sport trophies/jerseys/jackets/gear, Wings, Letters/numbers, Video games, Magic kits, Oranges/Lemons, Beer, White wine, Red wine for (His chthonic aspect), Milk, Mutton, Pork, Beef, Chamomile tea, Honey, Olive oil, Strawberries, Foreign foods, Eggs, Virgo or Gemini moon water,Golden objects, Silver objects, Musical instruments, Wands, Money/coins, Foreign money/coins, Dice, Pebbles, Feathers, Turtle shaped objects or art, Strawberry art or toys, Crocus flowers, Written stories or letters, Travel food, Souvenirs from your trips wheat, honey, twigs of olive, honey-comb and honey from local bees, cassia, cinnamon, saffron, include eggs, onions, garlic, pomegranate seeds, and fish or pork, barley grains, mead, beer (Especially German), lead, papyrus, pebbles, herms (or boundary stones), chocolate, whipped cream, coffee drinks, brightly-colored easter eggs, blueberries, granola, almonds, walnuts, pecans, Absinthe, beer, gin, vodka, red-bull, dry white wine, blessed moon water (especially in Virgo, Cancer, or Gemini), metal, jars, gin, pomegranates, onions, fish, garlic, Statues, Turtle Imagery, Hawk Imagery, Ram Imagery, Rooster Imagery, Marbles, Postcards, Chocolate, Lemons, Almonds, Mutton, Foreign Food, Brightly Colored Eggs, Onions, Sunflower Seeds, Fig Newton Cookies, Granola, Candies, Strawberry Milk, spring water, cookies or cakes, Wine, Golden cakes, Golden raisins, Apples, Music or poetry, Dancing, Drawings, pineapple, anything with computers, (especially boxing games, online games, and hackers), orange peels, gas station coffee!!, apples, bananas, grapes,Anything containing mercury, Crocuses, Panpipes, Saffron, Strawberries, Chocolate, Wheat, Honey, Lemons, Almonds, Cassia, Cinnamon, Pork or mutton, Spring water, Comforting a dying loved one, letters
Devotional• Board games, Dominos, pick up sticks, playing jacks, bouncy balls, peanut m&ms, write letters, go on walks, go run, do marathons in his honor, road trips, learn about alchemy, astrology, astral travel, prophet dreams, anything astrology related, learn basic car mechanics, give whatever to panhandlers, go talk to panhandlers (keep them company) , pranks, public speaking, tip well, stargazing, geocaching, learn a new language, Learn ASL, work out, Deive safely and predictably, use your blinkers fucking properly , bike/skate, clean your car, make a travel alter (for Hermes), get a passport, Travel , practice keyboarding, have a penpal, Train your voice, magic tricks, check your mail/email , low risk gambling (ex• lotto tickets) , make sigils, race, Play tag, be nice to wait staff, play sports, make maps of trails near you, make maps in general, play string instruments , Make herms, Carpool, Uphold confidentiality, Coin tricks, Be a reliable worker, Thrifting/yard saying, Dumpster diving, Making trades and barter, Help look for missing people/pets, Travel to new places, Learn a new sport, Practice speaking in public or online, Practice writing, Learn astrology, Learn astronomy, Learn about agriculture and animal husbandry, Learn magic tricks, Collect coins, Have a feast in His name, Dice games (ex- DnD), Card games, Donate to homeless shelters in His name, Give money to the hhomeless, Keep a dream journal, Write Him stories and poems or jokes, Honor the dead, Invoke Him on your travels or when looking for a job, always thank Him when you arrive safely or have some luck in your life, studying, learning, playing harmless pranks, attending magic shows, going on adventures, trying out new things, donating to fundraisers, working out, Taking a scenic route on your way home,Picking up loose change, Going to thrift stores, Being patient with delivery drivers, Going for walks, Making a mood board, Making a playlist, Making a dedicated journal, Giving to those in need, Going to/Watching sporting events, Practicing safe driving, Donations to hospitals and health institutions Donations to local artists, learn on how to save on gas, learn how to surf, draw sigils on shoes, leave coins when you leave places (extra points for pennys), give people in need a bus fare, clean off snow on other peoples car, clean your car, stopping for others (nicely, don’t run them over!), let him pick music, get a passport in his honor, decorate your passport, learn how animals communicate, call a love one, establish and force, dedicate a electronic to him, collect stamps and post cards, keep ur secrets, communicate with people when your upset,Keep a journal, Learn a new language/Revisit, Learn ASL, Learn about the evolution of language and how it is always changing, Be mindful of the language you use in daily life, Change your self-talk to positive, Voice training (Particularly for trans worshippers), Thinking before you speak, Learn about older forms of communication (ex- Morse Code), Learn braille,Go to the library and practice reading books in a foreign language ,Practice writing (great to do, Learn about the elements of writing, like allegory and metaphors, Play pranks (remember that good pranks cause confusion, not harm), Buy scratch offs/play the lottery, Understand how gambling addictions affect people, Dice and card games, Learn about good luck charms/Make your own, Learn about superstitions, Games like billiards or darts, Arcade/video games/carnival games, Make small/friendly bets, Poker nights in his honor, Do aGame of horseshoe, Learn parlor games, Smoke a bowl with Him, Learn a good joke, Write/perform stand up comedy, Checking your mail, Checking email/voicemail, Buying stamps, Flipping a coin, Dice divination, Charm casting, present a presentation in his honor, public speaking in his honor
Siblings• Aeacus, Angelos, Aphrodite, Apollo, Ares, Artemis, Athena, Dionysus, Eileithyia, Enyo, Eris, Ersa, Hebe, Helen of Troy, Hephaestus, Heracles, Minos, Pandia, Persephone, Perseus, Rhadamanthus, the Graces, the Horae, the Litae, the Muses, and the Moirai.
Appearance in astral or gen• Winged cap and boots, Traveller’s cloak, Youthful usually beardless figure or with a beard, with a Caduceus, sometimes seen with a mustache
Parentage• Zeus and the nymph Maia or Uranus and Hemera
Sacred days, festivals- Wednesday, the 4th day of the month, Hermaea, Agonius, in Cydonia social order was inverted for the festival and masters waited on their slaves, and slaves got to taste freedom.
Season• March, April, May, June (based on zodiacs)
Status• Messenger of the gods, and an underworld worker, he is called the darling of the gods
Music • anything from flutes or the lyre.
Sacred places• Mt Kyllene in Arkadia (his birthplace), Arcadia, mount Cyllene, Tricrena mountains, his Temples, his Cavern-shrines, Altars in market-places, gymnasiums, athletic arenas, house entrances.
Planet• mercury
Tarot• eight wands, magician, judgment, and maybe seven swords
Scents/Inscene • Frankensince, Myrrh incense, Lavender incense, strawberry, camphor, and malabathrumcock, storax, mastic, mace, moly, nettles, asafoetida, ginger, and marjolane, dragon’s blood incense, list cloves, tobacco, nag champa, poppy, and vanilla, ink on parchment, Musk, White Sandalwood, Nettles
His kids -Hermaphroditus, Tyche, Abderus, Autolycus, Eudorus, Angelia, and Myrtilus, Arabos, Abderos, Aithalides, Bounos, Daphinis, Ekhion, Eleusis (according to others, she was a minor goddess of Eleusinian Mysteries), Euandros, Kaikos, kephalos, keryx, kydon, libys, Mytilos, Norax, Orion, Paris, Paris, phaunos, polybos,saon
What I associate with him• rock music, bricks, dinosaurs, and wine (I promised to share my first cup of wine with him once I turn 21)
Some summarized myths •
Birth- Hermes was born from his mother Maia, the goddess of the fields, and his Father Zeus, he hid in a cave with his mother in Mt. Cyllene in Arcadia, the same day he was born (or when he was a toddler), he ran away while his mother was out, he stole cattle and turned their feet backwards, to 'trick' Apollo, he went back to the cave and made a fire and sacrificed 2 cows to catch the gods attention and ate 1 and hid the rest, outside after he ate he saw a tortoise feeding and cleaned it out and made strings together from a cow he ate, and made a lyre and a plectrum, and Apollo found him, furious he took him to his father and he denied everything and zeus found it hilarious, and he had to head back to the place where he hid the cattle, on the way he played the lyre, Apollo was enamored by it and asked for it and in return he would be his best friend and forgive him, and while helping Apollo tend to the cattle he made pan pipes, which Apollo made him a deal for his iconic golden snake staff and the skill of phropecy by using pebbles.
Killing Argos- Zeus had a lover Io, Who he was laying with in a field, Hera saw and strolled over, he struck in panic turned her into a cow, and Hera came over and demanded it as a gift, and zeus obliged, zeus in a panic asked Hermes to slay it, Hermes went to the cane where the all-seeing giant was, he lured him to sleep with a song, and when he was asleep, he slashed all his eyes and killed him, and took the cow, and in grief Hera turned the giant into a peacock to save the memory and to honor the giant. that's the myth where he gained the title 'Argos slayer'
Prayers•
Safe travels
Swift-footed Hermes, friend of the traveler, friend of those who find themselves far from their homes, by will or by chance, I pray to you. Hermes, who moves between the realms with authority and ease, who leads men and women on their last, longest journey, who stands at the crossroad, who watches the byways, in you I place my trust, for by your might I know that when I stumble I will rise again, that when I choose my way I will choose aright. Hermes, as I make my way through the world, whether I wander or whether I walk my path with care, be with me.
In general
Hermes of the ready wit and the lightning smile, wing-footed one who carries the words of the gods, compassionate one who guides the newly-dead to the hall of Hades and fair Persephone, quick-thinking one who takes interest in the world and works of mankind, whose hand we see in a run of luck and a clever scheme, I call to you. Hermes, bearer of the herald’s staff, your gifts are great. You guard our homes with constancy and care, you grant to us a portion of your own craft and wile, you join with us when we revel and are merry, you stand with us when we are far from home, alone. You are ever with us, O Hermes; O god who holds in hand the good of men, I honor you.
hestia & hermes for good money
I call to Hermes, god of the marketplace, god of the the deal, from whose hands fall shining coins. I call to Hestia, goddess of the home, goddess of good management, who knows the ways of thrift. Grant me a keen eye to spot a bargain, I pray; grant that I know false economy from true. Grant me the craft to repair what is broken, grant me the sufficiency to save for what may come. Grant me the wisdom to live with care, O gods, the discipline and skill to live within my means; grant me the wit to know my needs and my desires, grant me the judgment to know the difference.
This info is some UPG and some traditional, I do not find UPG disrespectful at all and some of it is my own experience, and I am not debating about it. My info is still valid, and I'm sure my sources is, just wanted to clarify this! Much love! I did get some info from other Tumblr users, I made this way back, I still update it, I dont own any of this information.
sources - https://twelfthremedy.tumblr.com/post/621849449656942592/hermes-offerings/amp
Wikipedia. “Agetor.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 10 Nov. 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agetor.
Burkert, Walter. “The Gods.” Greek Religion. Basil Blackwell and Harvard UP, 1985. 156-59. Print.
The original book was published in Germany as Griechische Religion der archaischen und klassischen Epoche. by Verlag W. Kohlhammer, Stuttgart, copyright year 1977
1b) Atsma, Aaron J. “ESTATE, ATTRIBUTES & ATTENDANTS OF HERMES : Greek Mythology.” THEOI GREEK MYTHOLOGY, Exploring Mythology & the Greek Gods in Classical Literature & Art. 2000. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/HermesTreasures.html, Wikipedia. “Agonius.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 10 Nov. 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agonius, Wikipedia. “Agoraea.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 26 June 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoraeus, Wikipedia. “Chthonius.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 20 June 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chthonius,Wikipedia. “Hermes Trismegistus.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 9 June 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermes_Trismegistus., “Kriophoros.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 11 June 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriophoros, Wikipedia. “Leucus.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 13 Feb. 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leucus, Atsma, Aaron J. “ESTATE, ATTRIBUTES & ATTENDANTS OF HERMES : Greek Mythology.” THEOI GREEK MYTHOLOGY, Exploring Mythology & the Greek Gods in Classical Literature & Art. 2000. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/HermesTreasures.html, “CYLLENIUS, Greek Mythology Index.” MYTH INDEX, Greek Mythology. Myth Index, 2007. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. http://www.mythindex.com/greek-mythology/C/Cyllenius.html, Sannion. “Wildivine.org – Offeringsto Hermes.” Wildivine.org – Dionysos, Hermes, Nymphs and Pacific Northwest Polytheism. Wildvine.org. Web. 26 June 2011. http://www.wildivine.org/hermes_offerings.htm.1, Sannion. “Wildivine.org – Offerings to Hermes.” Wildivine.org – Dionysos, Hermes, Nymphs and Pacific Northwest Polytheism. Wildvine.org. Web. 12 May, http://www.wildivine.org/hermes_offerings.htm, Sannion. “Wildivine.org – Hermes’epithets.” Wildivine.org – Dionysos, Hermes, Nymphs and Pacific Northwest Polytheism. Wildvine.org. Web. 12 May 2011. http://www.wildivine.org/hermes_epithets.htm.
https://greekpagan.com/category/prayers-2/hermes/
https://journal.uny.ac.id/index.php/diksi/article/download/49223/18693#:~:text=The%20red%20or%20green%20color,one%20of%20the%20Olympic%20gods.
travelingthief.tumblr.comhttps://www.tumblr.com/themodernwitchsguide
I use resources, I do not own the info, and most deep dives have UPG (that I use in my work.) And I only take some information from sources. I am 14, this is my hobby, I am learning but I spent many hours and days on this, and I am always open to criticism. I have been doing worship for 5 years. Please know you can use the info, I do not sue, but I will take action if this work is used without permission and not put as a resource if used in any work. without permisson and not put as a resource if used in any work, for the public.
#the gods#hellenic devotion#hellenic polytheism#doing the research for you#hellenic worship#greek gods#greek mythology#hermes#greek tumblr#greek posts#ancient greek#/hermes#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#deity work#polytheist#deity worship#paganism#paganblr#hellenic pagan#hellenic paganism#hellenic polythiest#Don’t ingore me#Care#H#E#R#M#ES#hermes deity
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Head In The Clouds (Bob Floyd x Reader)
Summary: When Bob makes love to you in the clouds, you swear it's the best thing ever (Greek Mythology AU)
Warnings: SMUT (18+ only, minors will be yeeted from this blog and blocked)
Tagging: @floydsmuse @sebsxphia @bobfloydsbabe and an especially big thank you to @attapullman as this is for International Bob Floyd Fucks Month!!!!! (lol).
At last, at long last you returned to your home in the clouds close to Mount Olympus, worn out from racing Ares and Apollo all day long on your black pegasus. The clouds had always been home for you and Bob, a place as wild and free as the forests on the earth below. Your fuzzy, fluffy little dream dragon ran right to you, curling around your legs and purring like a cat as if to welcome you home.
You saw Bob flying in just a moment later, fresh from helping Hermes on a mission for one of the Titans. Bob's sandaled feet touched down on the clouds as though they were solid ground, his snow white wings still unfurled like a pair of brilliant flags as he scooped you up in his strong arms.
"Missed you sweet cheeks," he said before planting a kiss on your lips.
You hummed into his kiss, reveling in the warmth that enveloped you. "I missed you too," you purred. "How'd everything go?"
"Better than ever," Bob answered. "Hyperion was more than happy to have the lamps working again and everybody made it home safe too."
You were relieved to say the least. Ever since the Titans had allied with the Olympians, things hadn't been better. You had yet to see the new island home of your distant ancestors, as did the rest of the Daggers, but Bob assured you that it would be something to look forward to going down the road.
You and Bob tended to your duties for the day, helping Hera, Poseidon and the others wherever you could until at last, night had begun to fall in the heavens. The moon and stars had all shined brightly as the creatures of the sky took to their cloud beds, curling up and drifting off to sleep along with your little fuzzy friend.
Bob couldn't help but stare off into that wild expanse of heaven, the deep sapphire blue skies making him sleepier than usual. He felt your arms sneaking their way around his waist as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder.
"Shouldn't you be getting ready for bed (y/n)?" he chuckled.
"Same can be said of you," you told him with a wry grin.
He pulled you into his arms, his deep blue eyes roaming over every trace of you as he pulled you into his strong but comforting embrace, breathing in your scent as though he had been away for longer.
In an instant you felt his warm lips on yours, kissing you gently and trailing from your lips to your jaw. You felt the tip of his tongue brushing against your skin, just tiny little licks at first, but as Bob began trialing down your neck, they became much more intense. A breathy little moan fell from your mouth as Bob kissed the curve of your neck.
"Shhhhh my love," he whispered. "Remember, somebody might hear us."
Bob gently guided you to the big mass of clouds that you both slept on every night, crooking a finger to beckon you closer. Your kissing became much more heated as his nimble fingers found the clasps on your copper colored tunic, drawing the thin, stringy straps down. The sheer fabric quickly fell, revealing your naked skin, pooling around your ankles as you helped Bob with his, the two of you never once breaking the kiss.
He laid you on your back, drawing a gasp as his rock hard cock found its way into your slick entrance. Bob watched with pure adoration as your eyes went wide and a gasp was drawn from your throat.
"Bob......?" you moaned.
"Hmm??"
You draw his hips against yours, creating a rhythm that made the little spot between your legs tingle with pleasure. "You like that?" he purred.
You nodded, a lazy smile playing with the corners of your mouth.
Bob slowly thrust his hips in and out of you, trailing kisses down your collarbone, taking great care to drag his tongue along the swells of your breasts and over your nipples. Bob swirled his tongue around them until they became pointed little dusty pink peaks.
"Bob......Bob.....p....please.....please....."
Your pleas were music to his ears as he dragged his tongue down to your navel, swirling it around and flicking it in and out. "My gorgeous wife," he groaned. "I love every bit of you and your body......."
Your moans grew louder as he spread your legs and kissed down the sensitive little spots on your inner thighs before going for the one spot that drove you crazy. His tongue worked its magic, flicking in circles, up, down and all around until you were a moaning mess.
"Bob.....Bob sweetie, I......I'm gonna......"
"Wait, wait for me sweetheart," he panted. "Hold on."
You moaned even louder when you suddenly felt him enter back into you, amazed at how fucking big he really was. He continued to thrust in and out of you, slowly, gently until both your hips jerked against each other, the both of you a fucked out, blissful mess.
Bob kissed your lips, his body heavy and relaxed against yours underneath him. "You're amazing, you know that?" he chuckled.
You laughed as he guided you down from the rest of your high, the clouds cool against your heat filled bodies. You and Bob lay in your bed of clouds, blissed out but relaxed and content as you explored each other's naked bodies, touching, kissing and caressing each other in the silvery moonlight.
"You get prettier every day (y/n)," he murmured sleepily. "You're everything to me."
You traced over his jaw, gently caressing his face. "And you're everything to me, Bob......you always will be."
Bob kissed you until you both fell asleep in each other's arms, never once letting each other go and waking up the same way, when the day began anew with the sun on your faces and the two of you together.
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Perversity and Loathing - Chapter 2
CONTAINS HEAVY SUBJECT MATERIAL THAT MAY TRIGGER READERS WITH ANXIETY, DEPRESSION AND PTSD. SOME CHAPTERS CONTAIN 18+ CONTENT.
This is a reboot of Tomb of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon. (Masterlist)
Fandoms: DC Comics, Batfamily, Thalassic Space (OC)
Characters (In order of appearance): Bruce Wayne (Batman), Barbara Gordon (Batgirl), Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Urania (the Boeotian muse) Faith Lawson (self-insert)
Word Count: 7243
TW: None, I think? Please correct me if I'm wrong. Thank you!
A/N: This only took over nine hours over the course of today to write, hooray! Also, if you read the previous chapter, you should read it again, as its ending has been changed, and other details have been added. Tag list in the replies of people who liked/reblogged any part of the previous version of this story, or the previous chapter(s). You’re not obliged to read or leave a comment. Thank you for reading! ^w^
Dividers by @cafekitsune
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3
The Batplane touched down, and when the elevator lowered to the metal platform, Batman carried Faith, Nightwing and Batgirl behind him. They walked to a stair that dipped into the shallows of the stream. Nightwing and Batgirl stayed on the platform. Nightwing's left arm wrapped around Batgirl's back, and Batgirl leaned into him.
As Batman's knees settled into the water, Faith's feet dipped into the stream. He took a few steps and was hip-deep, while Faith's lower body and back were in the water. He lowered his arms, submerging the young woman's upper body, keeping her head above the surface. A white-blue orb shone through the scallop seashell, casting a celestial globe onto the ceiling. Two seconds later, a beam of light cast into the water, just in front of Batman. A black, curly haired, dark eyed and fair skinned woman in a toga and sandals, appeared.
Urania spoke Greek, of course. "Thank you for not leaving her there."
Batman replied in Greek. "It would have been cruel."
"Do you know who I am?"
"You came through the light of a celestial globe. You are Urania." The muse of astronomy and astrology nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Faith is important to you?"
"I have watched her journey as a writer. She chose me as her patron. I was her teacher in her third life, at least in her book."
"This is her first life, out of her book?"
"Yes. On Earth, there is only Faith. In Thalassic Space, there was Myth Claus, then Eafla Volen. Last, she was Ønske Ulia Lost."
"Were her lives long?"
Urania shook her head. "In her first two lives, she was murdered at two days old. The two eldest children of the high vampires of Thalassic Space were especially awful. The galaxy she made is great. She is good at combining ideas that she likes." Urania chuckled once. "She loves to talk for hours about her stories."
"So she will be happy to tell us what we need to know to help her."
Urania bobbed her head. "It should not be hard. The Domain will be pleased to make things right again." Batman nodded. "My sisters did not want me to come here. They told me it was acceptable for her to be dead."
"But I do not want my student's passion to die. She is also very kind. Yes, she will be unable to work with you the way most of your wards do. But I know you will think of something for her to do, without magic." Batman nodded again.
Batgirl said, in Greek, "There was a time I couldn't use my legs, either." Urania looked at her and gave a gentle smile. Batgirl mimicked the muse.
Batman asked, "Will she be a mermaid now?"
"She will be able to become one, if her knees are submerged. She could not swim. This, along with the return of her life, is my gift to her. It is her most basic wish. It was her first wish, as a child, not including the wish to ride the back of her first imaginary friend, the unicorn named Bella."
Batman said, "This is why she brought out the seashell necklace."
"Yes. If you warm her body and pat her legs with a towel like a fish on a plate, her legs will return." Batman nodded more.
Nightwing asked, in Greek, "Does she have a magical voice, now?"
Urania giggled. "Yes." Nightwing nodded with a little smile. "Have I answered your most urgent questions?"
Batman replied, "Yes, thank you." Urania nodded. She placed her right hand over Faith's left breast, and her left on Faith's pelvis.
"This song is written in English, and so I must sing it in that language." Batman gave a small nod.
"I ascend under the autumn sun while you cry for me.
Thinking of the smile I had as a child.
You will have me in your heart, even when I have left you.
And so winter comes, but the sun is still warm and kind.
Oh please, let the Double Eight rise!
Connect my life to yours, again!"
Faith gasped, her eyes blinking open, and in her first pant for air, she saw Batman, and her eyes moved a little to see Urania. She sighed, and her cheeks turned a little red and rose in a smile. "Hi! Wow, you actually came! Thank you!"
Urania replied in English. "Of course I came, Faith. And, you're welcome." Urania kissed Faith's forehead. "I hope you are able to find happiness, here."
"Thank you." Said Batman, in Greek. Urania nodded once.
Urania said, in English, "I must return to Pierian Spring, now. Be good, and be safe, Faith."
"I will." Urania nodded again. She looked upwards, and returned to the celestial globe, which faded away. Batman turned and walked to the stairs and onto the platform, letting Faith down.
"Br!" Faith hugged her arms, clutching the damp towel.
Nightwing said, "Yeah, that stream is cold."
Batgirl said, "And your towel is wet! Come on. Let's go upstairs and get you dry." Faith nodded and followed Batgirl, Nightwing and Batman casually trailing behind. "I brought you some clothes."
"Aw! Yeah, I saw 'em in your arms! Thank you!"
"You're welcome."
"You still have the Clicker, right?" Faith asked, as they began climbing the stairs.
"Yep. It's in my pocket."
"OK, we're gonna need that. I can take away what Ra's stole easily, with it."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah! I just have to change the spell associated with its usage."
"So, if I had accidentally used it again, would I have sent you and Ra's back to the dream world?"
"No, because an artificial Clicker, like the one you have, turns off after one spell, or one rotation. You can destroy it by crushing it or burning it, by the way."
"Oh, OK." They entered and exited the study, ascended the closest stair, on the right side, and went into the first guest bedroom. Batgirl led Faith into the bathroom, Batgirl flicking on the light and closing the door. Nightwing and Batman loitering on the far side of the bed. Faith shivered as she unwrapped the towel and stood on the balls of her feet to hang it on the towel radiator above the toilet. "Oh, nice! She healed you right up, too."
"Yeah!" Faith replied, accepting a dry towel Batgirl obtained from under the sink. She began using it on herself. "Only thing is, now I can't use Ra's' sperm as a bargaining chip."
"For the Hallway?" Said Nightwing.
"Yeah. I could have offered it to the entity as payment for taking my magic from Ra's."
Batman asked, "Are you going to use it, when you get it back?"
"Nope! It's gonna go back to the altar, in my dungeon." Faith went on the balls of her feet again.
"No no, wait," Said Batgirl. Faith relaxed her feet. "Let me dry your hair."
"Oh! Thanks." Faith gave the towel to Batgirl.
"You're welcome, hon."
Nightwing said, "You have a dungeon?"
"Yeah, it's where my Animus, Argophael, and I were buried, when my third incarnation and Argophael were murdered by his father, who tracked Argophael down because, in Thalassic Space, Bartholomew Roberts is a transphobic blizzard warlock pirate."
Batgirl laughed, "So Blackbeard is a wizard, now?"
"Warlock."
"Warlock, sorry."
"Wizards and witches are chaotic neutral or chaotic good, sorcerers are chaotic good or lawful good or lawful neutral, and warlocks and viragos are chaotic evil or lawful evil."
"Ah, OK."
"Anyway, um, y'all are probably wondering about the Navidson Hallway."
"Yeah. All done. You can get dressed, now." Batgirl said, hanging the towel on the radiator. Faith swiftly dressed in the clothes Batgirl provided her.
"OK, I need to explain the three Magical Occupancies of Thalassic Space, first."
"Ooh, that sounds cool."
"I'm pretty good at naming things. Anyway, there are Domains, Realms and Plains." Faith, now dressed, opened the door. Batgirl followed her out, turning off the light. Faith sat at the centre the bed, and Batgirl sat on its right side. "A Plain is a magic island that has shores in multiple planets and is inhabited by magical peoples who govern themselves. For example, the 28 Mansions of the Four Symbols of Chinese astrology. The Mansions are the constellations that make up each beast, but were classified as magic islands when first explored by the Oracles, the most powerful and only immortal Dreamer mages of Thalassic Space. The Mansions are lived in by the deceased atheists of Thalassic Space, allowing them a good variety of different places to live in whenever they want. The Mansions are also a key part of how the Dream World on Paper takes form, using the Mansions and their assets as inspiration for many of the possible common events in the Dream World on Paper."
"Oh, so you weren't just in the dream world, you were in your own dream world."
"Yeah! As a child, I drew a desert with a sinkhole and mountains, a snowy mountain overlooking an ocean, and a city surrounded by a forest on three pieces of paper that I glued to different coloured construction paper. I saw those papers in a dream in the past six months. Hence the name."
"Wow, that's kind of amazing." Said Nightwing.
"Do you remember most of your dreams?" Asked Batgirl.
Faith shook her head. "Nah. Only some of them. Lots of times, I'll be sitting at my computer, and go, 'What was that dream, again?', 'cause some of the ideas are directly taken from media I've seen and liked, or have been scared by."
"Oh yeah."
"Uh, a Realm is a moon planet inhabited by magical people and governed by an entity that can be accessed by portals. The two most infamous examples are the Lightless Realm and the Lightful Realm, the original homes of the Astral Elves and Snow Elves. Krampus was the mayor of the Astral Elves, and Santa was, and still is, the mayor of the Snow Elves. They and Bartholomew are the sons of Nerobzal, the great evil Fallen Angel of Thalassic Space. Bartholomew is eldest, then Krampus, and Santa is the youngest, and the only one of the brothers who isn't evil."
"Right, OK."
"Nerobzal used to be Erophael."
"E-ro." Batman mimicked.
"Yeah, if you look up 'ero meaning' and read the Wikitonary article, and all of the different etymologies, I happened to pick a perfect name for this character! 'Cause it was originally Argophael, but I realised I liked it better for my Animus, so I typed out the first closest sounding three letters I thought of, and boom! Magic."
"Magic." Batgirl imitated. She, Nightwing and Faith giggled.
Batman said, "So, under Creek, it refers to how people in Oklahoma say squirrel."
"Oh yeah, 'cause of their southern accent."
"In Esperanto, it is the back-formation of element. Its accusative singular is eron, plural eroj, and accusative plural erojn." Batman said. Batgirl hummed. "Oh, there's plenty more. In Finnish, it belongs to erä, meaning apart, plus o to make eräo. It means difference, distinction, is an Ellipsis of avioero, 'divorce', and means resignation, discharge or dismissal, and separation or parting. Ido has also era, and Ingrian has difference. There is also the Rōmaji transcription of エロ, while the Jarawa definition is angry. In Kari'na, ero means 'this', in Ladino it belongs to hero, in Latin, as a verb, it is sum, and as a noun it is erus," He made eye contact with Faith. "Meaning 'master of the house' or 'merchandise'." Faith nodded. Batman returned his gaze to Batgirl. "Old High German, in which it means earth, and, lastly, Teanu, in which it means water, fresh water, stream, or river."
"Wow!" Said Nightwing.
"Yeah, I got lucky!" Faith replied. "Erophael was made from the first white ebony tree by Uriel, and brought into Paradiso, where Uriel taught Erophael arts and science. Erophael favoured literature and theatre, and so he wrote poems, songs and plays about the early times of Man to Yahweh, and he was loved for this. Then, Emperor Nero died of suicide, and Erophael laughed at this. For two seconds, all life on Earth had violent thoughts, but only Yahweh sensed this."
"Yahweh removed Erophael's holiness and renamed him as Nerobzal, telling him that he would understand 'bzal' soon. Yahweh gripped Nerobzal's wings and tore them off as he threw Nerobzal down to the Ninth Circle of Inferno, which froze his wings upright. Lucifer had been expecting him. A white door had appeared on Lucifer's pelvis, and Lucifer knew that Nerobzal was fated to open it. The only catch was that Nerobzal would have to kill 16, 777, 216 humans within its halls, which Lucifer would use to free himself and the 200 Fallen Angels from Dudael, and they would go to Earth from the Most Hidden Realm and begin Armaggedon."
"So Hell is considered a Realm, in Thalassic Space." Said Batman.
"Yes. Its portal is the selva obscura, of course, which can extend to any dense forest or savannah where a leopard, lion or wolf can be naturally found." Faith raised her hands in front of her chest. "I know what you're thinking: can this happen, and is Earth in danger? The answer is, yes, but it wouldn't be dangerous. Ra's might think it's dangerous, if he were to find out about it. It's actually a Special Event using the assets of the 28 Mansions. It's a divine spectacle controlled by the Four Symbols. After forty-eight hours, all of the living or dead Fallen Angels, plus Lucifer, participate in a Curtain Call, and return the lives and bodies of any person or animal taken, and rebuild any buildings and all of nature that were likely damaged."
"A divine spectacle."
"If you were to ask Zeus, Odin, Ra, Vishnu or the Four Symbols, they would say this is fair and isn't breaking the rules of Thalassic Space. You can't ask Yahweh because he's not a Bay God. He was sent home by the voice of Qinglong because he wanted to destroy the O-type star of Thalassic Space, believing it was unnatural for humans to live under such a hot sun, much less a magic sun. He was the only god who thought this way." Batman hummed.
"So, Lucifer pulled Nerobzal out of the ice, and Nerobzal skated on his bare feet towards the door. Eight greater humanoid demons chased him, but Nerobzal made it to the door. Upon touching it, Nerobzal knew how to open it. He knocked upon it five times. As the demons closed in, the door knocked back twice. The demons were gripping Nerobzal's arms, legs and torso as Nerobzal opened the door and fell on the floor of the stone hallway. The demons turned into pale grey jumpscare people with neon orange eyes, the first Nero Spirits, called Ghouls, and just laid there. Nerobzal pulled himself from beneath them. When he stood, an angel of the lowest caste, so, uh, just an angel, looked at him from the doorway. Nerobzal pivoted and ran into the hallway. The angel roared and leapt into the hallway, the wing of his wings closing the door. As the angel soared over the Ghouls, he lost his voice and transformed into the Umbrella Man, and stopped where his feet landed as Nerobzal found the dead end and came back, the way ahead having opened, and a window showing them the planets, O-type star and Sagittarius A* of Thalassic Space, confirming to Nerobzal that he had escaped. Nerobzal led the Ghouls and Umbrella Man further until they found the Grandest Room, and there they made a series of stairs and platforms to live in. They spied upon its people, chose the most cruel among them to form the cult of Kaleido, for you cannot understand or hear the word of Yahweh from the outside of a chapel, but you can comprehend and obey the whispers of Nero Spirits in the darkness of high noon, or the light of the midnight." Faith snapped her fingers, actually using the nail of her thumbs and the underside of her middle finger, making a muffled sound. Batgirl and Nightwing softly laughed, and snapped their fingers for her, Batman snapping his fingers too. "Thank you. I-It's all just supposed to be art, y-you get that by now, right?"
"Yeah, we get it." Said Nightwing.
"Um, and Nerobzal waited for the O-type star to be incarnated for the first time in response to the people of Thalassic Space being in peril from the actions of Kaleido. Human trafficking, enslavement, the usual things, but all done under the influence of the Nero Spirits whisperings in the dreams of manipulatable people who were already a little cruel."
Batman said, "You mentioned the angel become the Umbrella Man. Anything special about him?"
"Oh, I stole him from the Team Fortress 2 ARG "Project Skybox"." Faith cackled. Batman discreetly interacted with his gauntlet. "But I gave him new lore!" She compressed her voice to sound like Toad from the Mario franchise. She raised her arms and altered her voice again when hollering, "Woo!" Batgirl and Nightwing chuckled.
"This guy?" Batman said, showing Faith an image projected from his glove.
"Yeah!"
"Ooh, he's kinda creepy." Said Nightwing.
"So what does he do?" Batgirl asked.
"In the ARG, he crashes the game of players who use the Interlope console command, in certain maps. It's a sentient AI. But in Thalassic Space, he was an angel who was unlucky enough to follow Nerobzal into the Domain of Platonia."
"Ah, OK."
"The Domain of Platonia?" Batman repeated with a tone of intrigue. "Now, where did that come from?"
"Oh, shit, right." Faith laughed. "That's why I was telling you the story of Nerobzal!"
"The Navidson Hallway is the Domain of Platonia."
"Yes." Faith shook her hands happily. "So, originally, I was looking for a word that was like 'Platonic', and the first letter I tried subtituting c was a. I clicked on Wikipedia's 'Platonia (disambiguation)', and the second bulletin read: Platonia (philosophy), a hypothetical timeless realm by Julian Barbour containing every possible momentary configuration of the universe. And I was like," Faith raised her right index finger. "Oh." Batgirl chuckled. "Oh yeah, I can work with that! So I combined "Project Skybox" with Julian Barbour's Platonia, and adjusted Nerobzal's story so that he would find it."
"Ooh. Well, it works really well!"
"Yeah, it all flows together nicely." Said Nightwing.
"Thank you! OK, um, a Domain is a fortress, sailing ship or space ship created by an entity to etiher imprison, torture or observe whoever or whatever is inside. The Domain of Platonia is, of course, a hostile liminal space stone fortress entity. There was also Palette, a man o'war owned by the wealthy humans and high elves who were members of Kaleido on planet Bafsina, meaning basin. They forced merfolk, harpies and poor humans, elves and other anthropomorph people into labour on ship and land, raping many men, women and children. This happened during the actual eighty years of the Golden Age of Piracy, and at its end, the protagonists of the story I've been mulling over for Bafsina have their victory, and the ship is sunk, and the members of Kaleido associated with it are executed."
Faith chuckled thrice with a grin, resting her chin in her hands, fingers spread across her little cheeks, fidgeting her small feet. "So, uh, you three are all really smart. What do you think is the spaceship Domain?" Faith looked at Batgirl, saw her brows furrowed, and heard Nightwing hum in thought, saw his lips puckered to the side. Faith looked at Batman, who had a little smile.
Nightwing guessed, "Platonia? Spaceships have windows and bays, and maybe the Greatest Room is a cargo bay, of sorts?"
"Nope!"
Batgirl guessed, "The 28 Mansions?"
"Nope, those are Plains."
"Oh, right."
"Can we have a hint?" Nightwing asked.
Batgirl said, "Yeah, give us a hint, please."
"It is the biggest spoiler for my book that Ashanti, my cat anthro Wish Child, ends up finding out while trying to figure out if I'm really going to birth the Anti-Christ or not after I return to Thalassic Space without her parents or I knowing who summoned me, or why."
"Wow, you like to make bold choices in your writing, huh?" Said Batman.
Faith shrugged. "What can I say? A fantasy-horror author has to be bold, sometimes."
"OK, now I'm lost." Said Nightwing.
"Yeah, now I'm confused." Batgirl added.
Faith said, "Batman, if you would like to reveal?"
"Gladly."
Nightwing said, "Not surprised you already know, Bruce."
"Not at all." Batgirl replied.
"It's Thalassic Space." Batman said. Nightwing and Batgirl looked even more perplexed. "Platonia is an immeasurably large Domain. The 28 Mansions are constellation Plains. And Realms are moon planets. If they all exist in the same galaxy, we need the biggest possible Magical Occupancy to contain all of this, plus the planets. How many planets are there, by the way, Faith?"
"It's our solar system, but behind Mercury is a .75 times bigger twin planet, and that planet is Bafsina, in front of Venus is planet Grace, which is the size of Uranus, Earth is replaced by Yotutrnaeyl, meaing 'journey, and is 1.75 times bigger, and planet Judge, Little Path and Sia are non-visible, share the same orbits and sizes as the visible planets in the listed order, but are only accessible via spaceships and portals, such as Doors to Platonia or traditional chalk door portals."
"Wow, that's cool." Said Nightwing.
"Thank you!"
Batman said, "The existence of Platonia suggests that there can be an even bigger Domain."
"Ohhh, and that bigger Domain is Thalassic Space!" Said Batgirl.
"Yes. Isn't that right, Faith?"
"Yep!" Faith giggled and cheerfully shook her arms. "And now I need to draw the Double Eight to finish explaining all of this, and why we don't have to worry about Ra's or any other villain taking advantage of Thalassic Space after I use the Clicker to return my dark magic to the altar!"
"I'll come back with paper and a pencil." Batman said. "Or do you prefer a pen?"
"A pencil, since I probably won't draw the loops and inner leaves big enough on the first try because I drew it digitally, and also pencil crayons!"
"OK." Batman exited the bedroom.
"You certainly look alive, Faith." Said Nightwing. "You feeling OK?" Faith nodded, cheeks smiling. "Good."
"I'm glad that my basic wish worked. If it didn't, you guys would have no idea how to properly stop Ra's from proceeding."
"I was going to ask:" Batgirl said. "What are you going to offer Platonia, now that you can't offer Ra's' sperm?"
"Yeah, and what would it have done with it?" Nightwing added.
"It would have just eaten it." Faith shrugged. "And now, I will have to give it a cup of blood and a quarter of a cup of hair."
"That's it?"
"Yep! It's only hostile if you enter without being prepared and willing to give offerings like that."
"Should we maybe go down to the kitchen and get you those measuring cups?"
"Sure, if you'd like to. A Ghoul can measure it, too."
"Let's maybe do it ourselves." Batgirl said, rising from the bed.
"Yeah." Said Nightwing. "You're gonna get it, Babs?"
"Yep." Batgirl paused in the doorway. "You just stand there and make sure nothing pops out and grabs her, yeah?"
"Yeah, OK." Nightwing replied. Batgirl continued. A few seconds passed. "Do you mind if I ask a personal question? Sorry, I actually have two questions. Been wondering since you've been handling this, uh, differently than most people would."
"Sure, I don't mind."
"What's your orientation? And, um, have you been raped before?"
"Oh, aceflux pansexual demiromantic. And no, I've never been raped before. I was a virgin, actually."
"Oh! So it's, uh,"
"Complicated." Faith glanced to the left, and her voice warbled. "And it hurt a lot."
Nightwing sighed. "Yeah. I'm sorry you had to go through that, too."
Faith nodded. "Thanks. I know you've been there." Nightwing nodded. "It's like, most of the time, my brain squints at sex, and I'm like, 'OK, are these people doing it for leisure, or procreation, and why are they doing it this way?', and other times it's blowing an airhorn at itself, and I'm down bad."
Nightwing chuckled. "OK then!" Batman entered the room, a notepad, pencil and pencilcase in hand. He put the items on the bed, at Faith's left.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"I love genders. They're just so interesting and authentic, and I get so happy whenever I meet someone or talk to my Homestuck friends who are gender-queer."
"Aw, that's nice."
"And then, since I spent so long trying to understand friendship, and then all of the sudden I had puberty, I got really confused about how monogamy works, since everyone writes different stories about all the different ways it can go, both good and bad, and I've tried," Faith sighed. "I've tried, and I just... I dunno if I really get it like everyone who's happy with monogamy does."
"What do you mean?"
"It feels so restrictive. Like, what do you mean, I belong to you and you belong to me, and nobody else, and if there's any side-stepping, it's a huge problem? Why is it so easy for people to be sneaky instead of just be honest and tell the person they established a bond with that they prefer to be free, sexually? Wouldn't it be easier if everyone just, like, was unbound by, eugh, marriage? I don't even know how it actually works, I just heard that some things are shared, and I don't know if I want to share everything!" Batgirl cautiously entered the room, two measuring cups and a bottle of water in hand.
"I want to own me, I want my partner to own themselves, and I want to be open to helping people I trust with their needs, and not hide it from my partner. And, if I'm lucky, I'll have more than one partner, and we all just are honest in our actions, and we tell each other if we think the person one of us is interested in is dangerous or parasitic, and we protect each other from those people, and our community from them! 'Cause everyone who's smart and has a good heart knows that gay people like me aren't dangerous, and we're not corrupting anyone. We've been around since God made us, or since we evolved from mammals into humans. The only thing that's changed is language, and it needs to keep changing so that we can continue to understand each other, and accept and nurture each other."
"No one should be left behind or raped or killed just because they don't want A-B-C, and want X-Y-Z instead! They're all logical, and they're helpful, and they're part of the same alphabet, the same order. You just have to remember the rest of the letters, and it will all make sense and feel natural, and then hopefully you will confirm not just to society but to yourself and whatever deity or demon you worship, if that applies to you, that you are worthy of people's time, love and the planet's resources." Faith panted. She swallowed. "Ugh, I'm parched from all of this talking." Batgirl appraoched the bed and gave Faith the bottle of water. "Oh, thank you."
"You're welcome." Batgirl responded, while Faith twisted the cap off and drank.
Nightwing said, "Wow. Um. I don't even know what to say. No offense."
Batman said, "You want to be in love, but you don't want to be tied down to marriage, and you want to be honest with who you've been with or are interested in so your partner can help you see if they can be trusted or not." Faith nodded. "You want to return to someone or a small group of people and be welcomed, not shunned or abandoned for your views on how you want to love and be loved." Faith nodded more. "You want your partner or partners to share this idea, but you know that most of society doesn't think this way and blames this on homosexuals, but you know it's a matter of poor communication and coupling, hence why you were garrulous while describing this feeling to us."
"Yes." Faith sighed.
"You feel more comfortable having friends and having sexual and romantic freedom." Faith nodded. "You're afraid of love because it hurt you."
"I just... haven't had good experiences, especially with men. And my foster parents sucked, and my adoptive parents tried to help but couldn't do much."
"Oh, you're adopted!" Said Batgirl.
"Yeah. My brother is biological, we were just put in different foster homes 'cause my dwarfism meant I was considered special needs."
"You still are." Said Batman. Faith bobbed her head.
Batgirl asked, "Have you ever dated a woman?"
"No." Faith sighed heavily. "They only ever want to be my friend."
Batgirl sat on the bed side facing the door and softly said, "I'm sorry."
"I'm missing something that I've felt since I saw Ariel," Faith's voice became stifled. "And how free and happy she was, curious about the world, collecting things she likes, lucky enough to find someone who truly loved her, and I loved her too, and I just..." She sniffled and shook her head, wiping moisture from her left eye. "All of my life, I've wanted to be normal, but I can't be because of my dwarfism and how I think." Batgirl gently placed her left hand on Faith's thigh.
"I've been autistic this entire time, but I'm only diagnosed as having Reactive Attachment Disorder,"
"Ah."
"And that makes sense, but everyone who knows me knows there's more. And I just," Faith swallowed. "I just have had to help myself, had to teach myself why incest is wrong when my mom wouldn't explain why after I almost did it with my little brother." Batgirl batted her lashes, and looked at Nightwing, who also looked stunned, and at Batman, who was unreadable. "She heard us and stopped us, and I told her where I got the idea from, it was character shipping in the Vocaloid fandom,"
"Rin and Len?"
"Yeah! And someone said it was taboo, and I looked the word up, but I didn't trust my mom enough to ask her because I knew I'd get yelled at just for trying to understand why it was bad, and my dreams won't leave it alone. I see my teenage brother in his bedroom at the trailer house, I come in with my adult brain, then he suggests it, and I force myself to sit up and end the dream. I had to do all of my thinking myself 'cause I was 'impossible to teach'." Faith quoted with her fingers. "I wasn't!"
"I had to use words and words, and pictures and videos, and I understood very well. But I can't talk about what I've learned, 'cause then people will think, 'Wow, she needs to be medicated', which I am, by the way! Regular Quetiapine and Quetiapine XR, a small dosage of both. Have since 2021, and I even got an upgrade last year, the anti-depressant form of it that I mentioned!" Faith panted. She licked her lips and swallowed.
"I'm so angry at myself, and all I'm allowed to do is put on my work-face and work-voice, and I just want to be with friends who know that I've got mood swings, and I'm tired of trying to belong to a man, and I'm sad because no one else wants me." She sobbed. "'Cause, 'cause I know the definition of happiness, but I'm only ever OK. I have very few good days. And I've scarcely known a great day, and I don't think I've ever felt fantastic."
Her breathing was heavy as she stared into Batgirl's eyes. Batgirl looked back with sympathy, and rubbed Faith's right arm with her right hand. Faith calmed her breathing and spread her fingers across her forehead, hiding her eyes. "I just want to be free, like the women and people who died before me. So I made a galaxy, I gave myself a cat family, and, and I have all of my toys in my head so Mom can't take them away."
"And I live by myself and try to be single so I can be free, and I'm genuinely happy and fortunate to have my job, it's, it's great, for retail. I just... what Ra's did to me, not to my body, even though, yes, that was a literal nightmare, it's what he's done to my toys. He's taken what isn't his, and it needs to go home." Faith sobbed, wiped her eyes. "Sorry, all of this is supposed to stay in my head for a reason."
Batgirl said, "Thank you for sharing all of that with us. That was very brave and honest of you, Faith."
"Thank you for not interrupting me."
"You're welcome."
Batman said, "You shouldn't give Platonia your blood. You likely don't have enough to spare, right now."
"Yeah. It will accept other people's blood, if the ritual leader can't offer their own. No strings attached, just a different option."
"I'll give it mine, then. Should we get this over with, then?" Batman asked. Faith nodded, and climbed out of bed. "Let's go down to the kitchen." Faith, followed by Batgirl and Nightwing, followed Batman down the stairs. "I bet you're hungry, too."
"Yeah." After descending they passed the stair down to the Great Hall, at the corner entered and exited the servery, then entered the first room in the next corridor. They stopped at the pantry door. Batman stepped aside.
"Would you like to do the honours?" Batman asked. Faith nodded. She knocked five times. The door knocked back twice. Faith opened the door, and the Hallway returned.
"Hello-o? Platonia? I've come to make an offering." Faith stepped towards Batgirl, who spread her hand to offer the measuring cups, which Faith took, pocketing the smaller cup in her borrowed pants. Faith hovered the full cup under Batman's left hand. He made a cut on his forearm, and the cup steadily filled with blood. Once it was full, Batman produced a small pouch from his belt, and Faith carefully walked into the Hallway with her left hand under the cup to catch the little splashes, although droplets fell onto the stone floor. A path opened on the left, and pair of neon orange eyes on a pale grey head poked from the nearest, lower edge of the doorway. Faith proceeded and slowly knelt on both knees, left knee down first, and put the cup in the opening, inches away from the hand of the Ghoul. Faith brought out the other measuring cup. "Uh, I need something to cut my hair with. You can just slide it on the floor, or toss it over." Batman tossed a Batarang that lodged itself into the wall. "Thank you." Faith positioned her hand to pry it loose. "Oh, wait."
"She'll cut herself." Said Nightwing.
"Yep." Batman found a grey hand cloth from his belt. He entered the mouth of the Hallway. "Catch." He threw the cloth, and Faith sort of caught it, fumbling as it collided with her neck and upper chest. Faith used the cloth to free the Batarang with her left hand, transferred it to her right hand, collected an inch of her hair in her left hand over her left shoulder, and cut her hair into the measuring cup.
The Ghoul grumbled like a lizard in warning. "Wzhzazt doz yabozuz wzisrhz phzozr, Srtazrwzriter?"
"I know what he's saying." Batman quietly said to his wards.
"You know the language?" Replied Nightwing.
"No, but it's a letter-swap. It said, 'What do you wish for, Starwriter?'."
"The man who stabbed me and raped me took the dark magic I'm guaranteed to have when forcibly summoned. Take it back without killing him so that he may never use Thalassic Space, and return the magic the altar in the Dungeon of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon and the Obsidian Moondancer Dragon. Do you see him?"
"It isr diphz'icuzlabt toz sree hzimam. Yabozuzr vazginanaz dozesr nanozt srmamelab' labike hzimam, aznanyabmamozre."
"It is difficult to see him. Your vagina does not smell like him, anymore." Translated Batman.
"Eugh." Said Batgirl.
"I know. Urania removed his sperm, when she resurrected me."
"Wze azre azwzare ozphz thzazt."
"We are aware of that."
"You know what a Lazarus Pit smells like, though."
"Yabesr."
"Yes."
"The oldest man from Earth Prime who smells like that is who you are looking for. The younger man is not your target."
The Ghoul scoffed and growled. "Thzisr ozphz'erinang isr nanozt enanozuzghz."
"This is not enough."
"Oh, of course it's not." Batgirl scoffed.
"But it is protocol." The Ghoul growled deeper. "I am not your master, and I know that my status as your Author means little to you. But the order of Thalassic Space, and of Earth Prime, will not be correct until you do this." Faith sighed, her eyes darting on the floor before finding the Ghoul's face. "Your... your master, the Greatest of Sagittarius... he may visit my dreams tonight."
"Hze isr azlabwzazyabsr thzere." The Ghoul laughed for a few seconds, first low and demented, then shrieking and rigid.
"He is always there."
"What does your master wish of me, then?"
The Ghoul said nothing for four long seconds. "Yabozuz azlabreazdyab knanozwz, phzoz'labisrhz girlab." Faith looked at the floor as the Ghoul laughed for several seconds.
"You already know, foolish girl."
"Hze wzilab' azccept thzisr mamozrtazlab mamaznan'sr bzlaboz'd azsr az labighzt bzeverazge, oznane ozphz phzazr labesr' richznanesr' aznand renanozwznan azsr yabozuzrsr,"
"He will accept this mortal man's blood as a light beverage, one of far less richness and renown as yours,"
"Aznand hze wzilab' azccept yabozuzr hzazir, aznand chzerisrhz it azsr oznane ozphz hzisr giphztsr phzrozmam yabozuz."
"And he will accept your hair, and cherish it as one of his gifts from you."
"Bzuzt nanozwz thzazt yabozuzr wzozmamb isr clabeaznaned," The Ghoul said. Faith gasped and shook her head with a shocked expression.
"But now that your womb is cleaned,"
"No!" Said Batgirl.
"We need to get her out of there, Batman." Nightwing rapidly said.
"Wait." Batman answered.
"Thze mamazsrter wzozuzlabd labike toz ozph'er yabozuz hzisr chzilabd."
"The master would like to offer you his child."
"Batman!" Batgirl shouted, drawing Faith's attention to her.
"We have to trust her." Batman answered. "If any of us enter, this negotiation will be nullified, and then Faith will be in peril, and we may be unable to save her."
Faith turned her eyes back to the Ghoul. "And if I refuse?"
"Tzhzenan yabozuz srtazyab hzere inan thze dazrk wzithz yabozuzr phzeazr ozphz it, aznand ozphz his penis,"
"Then you stay here in the dark with your fear of it, and of his penis,"
"UGH!" Nightwing's upper body trembled in anger, and he clenched his bangs, wrists pressed against his temple.
"Aznand thze srmamelab' ozphz it wzilab' tazuznant yabozuz uznantilab thze dazrk mamazgic thzazt wzazsr srtozlabenan hzazsr bzeenan retuzrnaned, regazrdlabesr' iphz yabozuz sruzbzmamit toz yabozuzr labuzsrt."
"And the smell of it will taunt you until the dark magic that was stolen has been returned, regardless you submit to your lust." Batman translated. Batgirl scoffed, changed her posture, couldn't stand still and tried approaching the doorway. Batman caught her wrist and pulled her back.
"Stop." Said Batgirl, freeing her hand.
"How long will that take?" Faith asked. Batgirl entered the Hallway, and took three strides to stand behind Faith.
"Enough of this! Time to go, Faith. He won't let you go, if you stay any longer."
"Doz yabozuz nabozt uznandersrtaznand, mamozrtazlab wzozmamaznan?"
"Do you not understand, mortal woman?"
"I understand just fine." Batgirl said, taking hold of Faith's left arm and making her stand behind Batgirl. "Do as you were asked with the gifts you were presented. Your master considers Faith sacred, right?"
"Ozhz, srhze isr mamozre thzaznan srazcred toz Hzimambz'azlab."
"Oh, she is more than sacred to Himbzal."
"What about me? What if he used me, instead?" The Ghoul sat on its haunches, tilting its head over its left shoulder.
"Babs." Nightwing said with urgency.
"Barbara." Faith said with awe, meetin the taller woman's eyes.
"Am I valued less to your master because I'm not magic? Because I'm not your Author? Am I just food to him, to this Hallway, like all the other mortals? Do you know why she dyed her hair red?"
"Toz mamirrozr yabozuz."
"To mirror you."
"Yes, to mirror me. She has the most beautiful hazel green eyes, you know that?" Warmth came to Faith's cheeks, and Batgirl glanced at her. Faith bat her lashes as their eyes met. "Wouldn't you know, from the mind of your Author, that she is worth more than her body? And that I am the same? That all people are the same?"
The Ghoul sighed. "Thze mamazsrter isr tired ozphz hzeazrinang yabozuz."
"The master is tired of hearing you."
"I will not be ignored."
"You are not being ignored. You are being honoured. Leave. Both of you. It will be done."
"Yabozuz azre nanozt bzeinang ignanozred. Yabozuz azre bzeinang hzoznanozuzred. Labeazve. Bzozthz ozphz yabozuz. It wzilab' bze doznane."
"You better leave us alone."
"Wze wzilab'. Azt laneazsrt, toz thze extenant it wzazsr bzephzozre thzazt mamaznan bzrozuzghzt thzisr plabazce toz yabozuzr exisrtenance."
"We will. At least, to the extent it was before that man brought this place to your existence."
"Fine."
"Enter again, Faith, and you will answer for your trickery."
"Enter again, Faith, and you will answer for your trickery."
"This isn't trickery! This is fair. What your master wants is cruel, and Faith has had enough of that. Not just today, but in her life. If you really won't leave her be, the next time she comes in here, asking for your master's help, she'll be with me, or one of her new friends. And there's plenty of us to go around and kick your master's ass."
The Ghoul growled like a lizard and backed away. "Bze czazrephzuzlab wzhzazt yabozuz wzisrhz phzozr, Bzazrbzazraz Gozrdoznan."
"Be careful what you wish for, Barbara Gordon."
"We need to go." Faith said, rapidly.
"Yep!" Batgirl picked Faith up princess style,
Causing Faith to say, "Whoop!" And ran out of the Hallway, stopping in front of Nightwing and letting Faith down while Batman stepped forward and slammed the door, leaning on it and knocking five times, the door hammering back ceaselessly.
"Faith!" Batman shouted.
"The Clicker!" Faith answered.
"Time to use it?" Batgirl replied, quickly taking it out of her pocket and holding it in her left hand.
Faith rapidly said, "Don't look out the window, be still, breathe quietly, imagine any hallucination caused by neon coloured eyes, scary faces with lots of teeth or impossible figures as the face of a loved one, or their voice, whatever reminds you of life, and wait until the lights come back on and it's quiet for eight seconds! Batman, you'll have to move away from the door as soon you hear the click. You probably know this, but it's best to stand with your hands relaxed at your sides and your head looking forward with a relaxed neck and face." Faith did this herself, and Batgirl and Nightwing quickly nodded and stood as suggested. "NOW!"
Click.
A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger lasdkjflasdfjsladkf
Proceed to Chapter 3
#perversity and loathing#starwriterulia writes#dc comics fanfiction#batfamily fanfiction#dick grayson#nightwing#barbara gordon#batgirl#bruce wayne#batman
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NSR Halloween DLC ideas, just in time for Spooky Night!
The soundtrack for the Halloween DLC would feature instruments associated with the holiday being incorporated into the songs, such as pipe organ and theremin.
The Bosses
DJ Subatomic Supernova
DJSS is a scarecrow, wearing a straw hat, flannel shirt, and denim overalls (cut-off, of course!).
For the battlefield, the background of the Planetarium is a deep orange. The planets he uses to attack are replaced with pumpkins, and the asteroids are replaced by a swarm of crows.
Sayu
Sayu is a cute ghost girl. (I felt it would be fitting since she’s a floaty character.) She's slightly translucent and sports a ghostly wisp-like tail rather than her regular mermaid tail. Her colour palette features off-whites and faded pastels, making her look more etherial.
Sayu wears a tattered white Victorian/Lolita-style dress, lacy cuffs around her wrists and a little bow on her head.
For Phase 2, her dress becomes poofier and more elaborate as small ribbons resembling tentacles appear around her waist. Her trident is completely white.
Phase 3 has her go full-on ghost bride. Her dress has a huge multi-tiered skirt, her hair is adorned with a long veil, and her tentacle ribbons have grown to full length. Her deep-sea mode has her face turn glowing green with solid black eyes, making her resemble a spookfish, while her “tentacles” feature flickering lights similar to a bioluminescent jellyfish.
Her final form is basically your stereotypical bedsheet ghost shape with her legs sticking out the bottom.
Sayu’s team are dressed in dark wizard-like robes, and each of them are wearing masks like the ones worn by Lock, Shock, and Barrel from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
For the battlefield, the “landscape” is dotted with jack-o-lanterns, tombstones, and dead trees. The background is changed to a seafoam green color, with wispy little ghosts flying about.
Yinu and Mother
Yinu is dressed as a cute little witch. Her hair is in pigtails similar to her Christmas skin, and her witch hat is adorned with fall leaves and little jack-o-lanterns.
Mother, meanwhile, is a spooky Halloween tree with spiders. Her dress is a dark wood colour with translucent, ragged-edged sleeves, and she wears a thorny hairband and spiderweb earrings.
The ends of her “hair” have been dyed the same colour as her dress, and she wears both black lipstick and black nail polish.
When she grows bigger, her branches begin to sprout large thorns, which end up making her cage form look more like a spiderweb. (There are even little fake spiders sitting on top of it!)
For the battlefield, the stage is decorated to evoke a bountiful harvest, with pumpkins, hay bales, bundles of wheat, stalks of corn, apple trees, cornucopias, and garlands of leaves.
Both the gate and the giant piano hammers are adorned with thorny branches and autumn leaves.
1010
1010 are pirate ghosts. (As a fun gag, Blue could wear two eyepatches instead of his sunglasses!)
Meanwhile, Neon J is their ghostly captain, complete with a captain’s hat, a sword at his belt, a fake parrot on his shoulder, and – once again – a fake beard attached to his screen head.
For the battlefield, the flying limousine is decked out to look like a pirate ship, with a mast, a crow’s nest, and a tattered sail.
(I felt 1010 as pirates would be fitting since they're a navy-themed boyband and Neon J was a captain in the navy.)
Eve
Eve is dressed as Medusa.
Her dark green dress has a scaly pattern, and she accessories with a lot of gold, including spiralling gold sandals and a golden diadem crown.
Her hair has been dyed, shaped, and styled to look like several little writhing serpents.
Her backpiece is composed of even more snakes in gold and teal which wrap around her upper torso and spread out behind her like a peacock’s tail.
Eve’s pupils even become snake-like starting at Phase 2!
For the battlefield, Eve’s gallery has been transformed into an Ancient Greek temple, but with a postmodern/vapourwave twist. Stylized Greco-Roman columns with snakes wrapped around them line the walls, and an ancient looking gold chandelier hangs from the ceiling. The left side would be eggplant purple while the right side would be cerulean blue.
If the player gets hit by the eye lasers from Eve’s giant statue, they’ll actually turn to stone and be frozen in place for a short time.
For Phase 2, on Mayday’s side, the snakes wrapped around the columns have grown larger and are now looming over Mayday, their faces twisted into angry snarls (representing Eve’s derisiveness and hostility towards May).
Meanwhile, Zuke’s side features floating fragments of ruined columns (representing how lost and incomplete Eve felt after Zuke left her).
Phase 3 is where it really starts to get trippy. Both rooms feature ruined columns and floating shards, along with giant brightly colored snakes slithering all over the background.
The shards in Zuke’s side reflect images of faces screaming in anguish, while the shards on Mayday’s side have limbs protruding from them- one shard has three legs protruding from them in reference to a trinacia. (Look up what a trinacia is to understand the reference!)
Tatiana
Tatiana is a vampire.
She wears black and red robes with bat wing-edged sleeves and a wide collar. Her earrings are coffin shaped, and she has small, pointed fangs that can be seen when she opens her mouth.
At the beginning of her battle, she starts throwing flaming bats.
For the battlefield, Tatiana's office/battle arena is made to feel like a vampire’s castle tower.
The whole room is lit with a deep red glow, and the tall windows that feature the NSR murals are topped with pointed arches, giving them a Gothic look.
You can even see some glass bottles filled with (ahem) red liquid on Tatiana’s desk.
Meanwhile, the Goolings' stage outside is decorated with jack-o-lanterns and hanging skeletons.
DK West
DK West is dressed as Frankenstein FrankenWest!
His look consists of neck bolts, stitch markings, and a dark ragged recolour of his original outfit.
His bull shadow puppet has matching neck bolts, which even emit shadowy electricity when it appears during the battle.
Bunk Bed Junction
Mayday
Mayday is dressed as an imp, wearing a bright red dress with black sleeves and waistcoat, black wings, red horns, and a red tail.
Her guitar is deep purple and splattered with glowing orange paint. It emits a wolf howl when she powers it up for the Showstopper.
Zuke
Zuke is a werewolf. Ragged clothes with fake fur poking out, extra fur attached to his forearms (don’t ask how got it on there), pointed ears, a bushy tail, pointed fangs, his nose has been painted. Pretty simple.
His drumsticks are splattered with glowing green paint and tipped with tiny light-up pumpkins.
The Other NPCs
Ellie has little bat wings attached to her back and wears a springy bat antenna headband.
And last but not least,
Kliff . . . is just wearing a pair of Groucho Marx glasses. Yup. That's it.
Let me know what you all think. I’d love to hear some feedback. Thanks for reading! Happy Halloween!
#no straight roads#halloween#dlc ideas#long post#sorry for this being so long#I wish I could draw these but I don't have the equipment#I had so much fun coming up with these concepts#descriptive writing#if this inspires any fan art please let me know id love to see it :)#nsr mayday#nsr 1010#nsr zuke#neon j#dj subatomic supernova#nsr sayu#nsr yinu#nsr mother#nsr eve#tatiana nsr#ellie nsr#nsr kliff#there's just something so funny about the idea of eve being like
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New AU jumpscare! This one is known as "Lucid Evening Lullabies" (or just "Lucid Lullabies" for short). Inspired by games like Nightmare Ned, American Mcgee's Alice, Among the Sleep, and Yume Nikki (among other things).
This AU begins with Jacob (aka "Boyfriend") coming down with a bad case of insomnia, he doesn't know why or how it happened, but he's been getting less sleep than usual, affecting his performance. His girlfriend Amber (aka "Girlfriend") decides to give him a music box to help him sleep. And sure enough, it works! Just a short tune or two and he's out like a light.
However using the music box had some unintended side effects. As when Jacob falls asleep, he falls into to surreal, vivid, and life-like dreams. But there's nothing bad about that...right?
Well, when there are dreams, there are also nightmares...And opening his eyes will not be enough for him to escape them. He must conquer them, one way or another. For if he doesn't wake up safe and sound...He may never wake up at all...
Anyways. Similar to Alice Madness Returns, Jacob and Amber's outfits change for each night (night's being the AU's version of "Weeks"). Each one of them themed after the dreams, which are in turn are based around the familiar faces and experiences BF has encountered in the past.
Outfit and night descriptions below!
Pajamas
Jacob's default outfit, and the one he always has in the beginning of the dreams.
He wears a blue long sleeved top with white accent lines and buttons, as well as a pocket with a white crescent moon on it. He also wears a pair of long, slightly baggy, blue plaid pants that are tucked into red slippers.
Night 1 ("Sleepy Hollows")
The first night is based on Week 2. It takes place on Halloween night in a suburban town bursting at the seams in Halloween decor and aesthetics, with the trees raining leaves of orange and yellow (think Halloweentown and the town in Hocus Pocus. That is until Jacob, Amber, and the spooky kids come across a decrepit mansion, where inside there are no treats...only a sour trick...
Here, Jacob wears a Jason Voorhees Costume (to match Amber's costume, which is a bit more thematically appropriate given the context. But can also be seen as a reference to Spooksides as his counterpart got his first name after the hockey masked killer). He has the hockey mask on the side of his hide, attached to a black strap. He is wearing a dark green shirt, a dark brown belt, a pair dark blue jeans, black gloves, and black boots which his pants are tucked into. His shirt and pants have (fake) blood stains on them. He is also wielding a fake machete, which has the blade stained with fake blood.
He does actually get to use it at some point, just not in the way one would think when it comes to using a machete...
Night 2 ("Final 'Xamination")
The second night is based on the events Pico's School, and a bit of Week 3. Just from that alone, you can tell this dream's quite closer to home for the little rapper. As a vile invader stalks the building, out of sight...waiting...watching. And a all-too familiar face has noticed that as well, but he's no sweet dream himself...
Jacob's uniform consists of a white, short-sleeved buttoned shirt, a blue tie, a blueish-gray sleeveless sweater. blue pants, and black loafers.
Night 3 ("Rose Fields Forever")
The third night is based on Week 6. With Jacob and Amber finding themselves in a "garden" (It's actually less of a garden and more of a jungle, just replacing the palm trees with cherry blossoms, rafflasia with roses, etc), the denizens welcoming them with open arms. Inviting them to become "hosts" for the upcoming festival to honor their handsome, flowery, idol.But soon they will learn that every rose has it's thorns...and a festival might not be the only thing they'll be hosting...
Jacob's outfit is a ancient Greek-based outfit. With a white tunic with gold accents. a gold belt, a blue toga fastened with reddish-pink gem with a gold base, and a pair of golden sandals. He also has a forget-me-not flower in his hair.
I also have a fourth night planned that centers around Inferno (BF's encounter with Blaze) but I just wanted to do the first three for now while I still try to figure that one out.
#lucid evening lullabies#friday night funkin#fnf au#friday night funkin au#fnf fanart#friday night funkin fanart#fnf boyfriend#boyfriend fnf#boyfriend friday night funkin#friday night funkin boyfriend#tw blood#(( It's fake blood but still ))
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Felt like sharing some speculation today:
All right, so we know My Hero Academia has the something of the same premise as X-Men in the sense that select a group of humans were suddenly born with powers, the whole 'evolution leaps forward’ deal.
We see in My Hero how the First Generation of people with Quirks, especially the ones who appeared non-human or semi non-human, were originally ostracized like the mutants of X-Men are, but then more people were born with powers and then more people had powers until it became a widespread phenomenon and ‘normal’ people became the minority and society had to restructure itself to accommodate the new normal.
But have you read The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black?
The plot is a 19th century doctor who theorizes that mythical creatures like the minotaur, harpies, sirens, and the like all existed millions of years ago but slowly interbred with humanity and eventually died out altogether. So he believed that when someone was born with extra fingers, limbs, a tail or otherwise didn’t have the typical human shape, it wasn’t so much a mistake in genetic coding as it was the extremely recessive genetics of those ancient creatures trying to reoccur in the modern day.
...
Definitely an interesting premise, so now I’m wondering if the My Hero world has a cult, conspiracy theorists, or even some scientists/historians that have similar views regarding mythology.
If this whole Quirk thing happened back in the Stone Age where no one had the benefit of science or awareness of DNA, anyone born with an otherworldly power would have been worshipped as a deity. Or the ones born with a non-human appearance would have been reviled as monsters.
So following the idea of The Resurrectionist, maybe the sudden appearance of superpowers did lead people to take a closer look at the old myths and consider the stories of the gods/goddesses of old were originally stories of people with 'Quirks' who rose to power. Humans with meta-powers ruled the world for a few centuries, then those powers inexplicably died off. For a variety of reasons or maybe unknown reasons, humanity lost that history but remembered the old stories and chalked them up to just myth until the powers that made it possible began to reappear full force several millennia later.
Some myths began as historical events but in being handed down hundreds of generations, the multiple tellings and retellings exaggerated them into the realm of impossibility.
Lightning/electricity powers: Zeus, Thor, Hinon
Fire powers: Hephaistos, Surtr, Hestia, the phoenix
Foresight: Any seer, prophet, or oracle that appears in any myth ever
Ice powers: Yuki-onna, Skadi, Morana
Water powers: Poseidon, Chalchiuhtlicue, Anuket, Tlaloc
Plant-related Quirks: Demeter
Gigantification Quirks: Giants, titans, nephilim
Ryukyu: Is a dragon. ‘nuff said.
All Might: Herakles
Tokoyami having a bird head but otherwise appearing human is pretty reminiscent of the old Egyptian gods.
Hawks: Any winged creature; take your pick. Personally, the one that comes to mind for me is Hermes. He only had wings on his sandals, sure, but the trickster archetype resonates.
Tsuyu: Naiads, nymphs, rusalki, any kind of water fae
Momo: Sedna (created sea life from her finger bones), Ukemochi no Kami (produces food from her own body)
Best Jeanist: This one's a bit of a reach, but the fabric thread thing coupled with the long, spider-like limbs kinda brings to mind the story of Arachne the weaver.
We do get a nod to Ancient Greek mythology with the prison Tartarus. What better place to lock away beings with god-like powers than the prison of the Titans itself?
Obviously an incomplete list, but you see my point.
Personally, I'm leaning toward cultist ideology with this one as I find it hard to believe every civilization would have forgotten about a previous appearance of Quirks. But civilizations die off, civilizations are overrun by others and their histories are suppressed, maybe this hypothetical 'previous Quirk phenomenon' wasn't as widespread as the current one and so fewer people were affected and therefore fewer people were alive to verify the truth of facts, maybe this hypothetical time was from an age of oral history and nothing was documented properly, so not impossible just really, really improbable.
Still, I love mythology and I find it an interesting headcanon to think about.
#my hero academia#the resurrectionist#hawks#fumikage tokoyami#keigo takami#ryukyu#mythology#folklore#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#headcanons#quirks#all might#yagi toshinori#tsuyu asui#momo yaoyorozu#denki kaminari#tartarus#best jeanist#dabi#endeavor#shouto todoroki#heteromorphs
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