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bluecanvasshoe · 1 month ago

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Obstacles

platonic!Marauders x muggleborn!hufflepuff!fem!reader

(image from: crimsoncloverhoney on Pinterest) Summary: You remake old memories with the Marauders and sparklers are, for once, used correctly in their vicinity.

warnings: not beta read... other than that, nothing, really!

content: fluff, takes place during their fifth year, hints of Wolfstar

word count: 2k

a/n: My first Harry Potter/Marauders fic!!!! wowie!!!! This one was fun to write, and I hope I didn't make everyone too out of character!

title from the song Obstacles by Syd Matters

---

It was evening, and dinner ended about an hour ago. You left the Hufflepuff barrel and joined the Marauders in the Gryffindor common room soon after changing out of your uniform.

“I’m telling you guys, Lily fancies me! She didn’t roll her eyes when she saw me, that’s progress!” James said, his hands moving frantically for emphasis as he sat straight on the sofa.

Sirius scoffed from where he was lying with his head leaning on Remus’ shoulder. “Oh yeah, what did she do, scowl instead? Tell you to leave her alone?”

James faltered at that, falling back into the cushions behind him.

“Maybe- maybe you’re right, James. Maybe she’s not as annoyed by you,” you interjected, looking up from the game of wizard’s chess you were playing with Peter. The two of you sat opposite of each other, sitting in front of the fireplace.

He perked up at that, extending a hand in your direction. “See!? She agrees with me! And she’s a girl! She’d know more about Lily than I would!”

Sirius hummed, “She’s a Hufflepuff; that’s the people-pleaser house.”

“I mean it,” you insisted, watching as your opponent contemplated his move.

Peter glanced at James after he clicked his button on the timer, his head resting on one of his hands. “Prongs, you sound a bit loony right now.”

“Loony!?” James shrieked, mouth wide open and glasses catching the light of the fire. Peter simply shrugged, looking back to the game once you’d made a move.

“Please, everyone, stop shouting…” Remus groaned, eyeing everyone with exasperation. “I’m trying to read this book, and it’s very hard to follow when you’re all bickering like first years.”

You sat up, looking over to Remus. “What book are you reading?”

“The Idiot.”

You nodded, humming. “What part are you at?”

He marked the page before closing the paperback book and setting it aside. “The part when Kolya reads the newspaper to the Prince, the nihilists, and… the others in the room. At the dacha, I think?”

With a grimace, you looked back to the game of chess. “Yeah, that part’s odd. I was so confused when-"

"God, you swots.” Sirius interrupted, lolling his head back onto Remus’ shoulder. “I’m so bored.” He whined with a dramatic frown, kicking his legs petulantly.

“Well, what do you suggest we do?” The boy Sirius had leaned his weight on asked, watching the game of wizard’s chess in front of them.

Sirius grinned, sitting up and crossing his legs in his lap. “Well, I found sparklers-” “We are not doing a prank right now.” Remus interrupted, turning to the dark-haired boy. Sirius sputtered, mouth agape. “Why not!? Moony, come on!”

James had a similar reaction, his eyes wide and jaw dropped. “Moons-”

“No.”

“Why does everyone hate me today!?” James lamented, dramatically falling back onto the couch.

“No one’s awake and wandering the halls except for prefects, dumbass.” Peter muttered, “Bishop to D5.” You cursed under your breath, watching as he clicked the timer on his end and your clock began to count down.

“There are more uses to sparklers than causing chaos,” Remus suggested, stretching his arms with a pop that Peter grimaced at. “And besides, we have more time to carry out a prank tomorrow.”

Sirius sighed, an expression of boredom on his face as he gestured for the werewolf to continue. “Well… we could just use them as intended. Light them up, or something.”

“That’s so boring!” Both James and Sirius exclaimed, looking at each other and stretching to the other couch to make the loudest, most painful-sounding high-five ever in response to their in-sync whining. They proceeded to keep high-fiving until they both deemed it satisfactory, receiving a fond eye roll from Remus and a hum from you.

“Back at home, my old muggle primary school friends and I would light sparklers at the lake and look at the stars. We could do that,” you commented, clicking the timer and allowing Peter to make a move. The sound of Sirius and James cheering and saying ‘again, again,’ repeated in the background.

Remus nodded, shifting to stand up. “Come on then, James. Get your invisibility cloak,” He prompted the bespectacled boy, causing him to look at Remus with a smile.

He left Sirius after one more high-five, practically leaping up from the couch and running upstairs, nearly slipping on the hardwood steps. He returned just a few seconds later with the cloak in hand. “So, why did you want it?”

“We’re going to the Black Lake,” Remus said decidedly, shifting his weight onto his right leg when his left hip began to hurt. Sirius, noticing the change in his demeanor, stood up and placed a gentle hand on his back.

You and Peter looked at each other, shrugging before resetting the game. You extended a hand, “I was bound to lose, anyway. Good game.” Peter shook your hand, smiling. “Good game.”

With that, you and the Marauders gathered by the entrance to the common room, watching as Sirius ran off to fetch the muggle sparklers. He returned not long after he left, looking to the stairway to make sure no one was around before giving the okay. James unraveled the cloak and draped it over the five of you.

–

The air was chilly when you made it outside, typical of a fall evening. The sun set a while ago, and the stars just came out. Thankfully, everyone was dressed in jumpers; to say everyone was wearing their rightful jumper would be a stretch, though.

Once making it to the Black Lake, James abandoned the cloak by a large tree, looking up at the sky as Sirius pulled out the pack of sparklers. Remus fished out an old, rusty lighter from his pocket.

“Come now children, gather round!” Sirius exclaimed, holding out a few sparklers and handing them out to you, James, Remus, and Peter.

Remus helped light them all, sparks, as the name suggests, flying from the rods.

You all stood in a circle, the sparklers creating a warm glow in the otherwise dark, cold atmosphere of the lake. Everyone’s faces, all rosy cheeks and large smiles, were illuminated by light.

James and Sirius were by far the most entertained by the things, waving them around. You admired the glow and crackle of them, the smell familiar as you took in the scene around you. It felt homey, familiar. You hadn’t spoken with those friends that you first did this with in years, and yet it hardly bothered you as you enjoyed remaking those memories with the Marauders.

You and the others slowly drifted to the shore, James and Sirius shrieking as the flames grew close to their fingers. “My hands are gonna get burnt off!” James cried dramatically, waving it around.

The long-haired boy laughed, throwing the sparkler that was swiftly burning down to his fingers out into the water. It hissed, little sparks flying as it immediately snuffed out. “Oi, did you hear that!?”

“What? Is something wrong?” Remus asked from his spot on the ground beside you, noticing Sirius’ lack of a sparkler as he took his eyes away from the sky. He had put his out not long ago, attention turning to the stars.

“The sound it made when it went out!” Sirius replied, causing James to turn to him and Remus to sigh with relief.

“What? What sound? I wanna try!” James promptly dipped the sparkler into the calm, glass-like water of the Black Lake, gasping when it hissed and the sparks ceased. “Oh, that is wicked!” the boy grinned, fetching another sparkler and holding it out towards Remus. The group’s designated sparkler lighter walked over, holding out the flame to it again.

Meanwhile, you and Peter talked about stories from non-Hogwarts schools or summer breaks.

“My third-grade teacher was awful. She yelled at me for getting a bad mark on a quiz, and then made me redo it without telling me what I did wrong… I got the same mark.” You explained, dragging the end of the snuffed-out sparkler in the sand to make various little drawings and patterns.

“I was homeschooled, but I went to a summer camp program a few times. A kid called me brick-like in nature.”

You snorted with wide eyes, a hand over your mouth. “What? That- I’m so sorry, that’s not funny.” You apologized through poorly concealed laughter, Peter joining you soon after.

“No, it’s funny. Besides, it happened when I was, like, twelve.” The blonde-haired boy reassured, admiring the moon’s reflection on the lake.

Your discussion was interrupted when Sirius suddenly shrieked. You both whipped your heads to where the sound originated from, watching as James chased Sirius with a sparkler.

“My hair! You’re gonna catch my hair on fire!”

“Good! I’ve had enough of it, your hair gets everywhere in the dorm!” James shouted back, though the chase abruptly ended when he tripped over his own feet, face-planting onto the ground. The sparkler fell from his hands, snuffed out after it landed in the sand.

You all burst into laughter, Sirius turning around and guffawing with a hand over his mouth. “Mate, are you alright?” He snickered, crouching down. James looked up, taking Sirius’ hand and standing again with his help. “I’m fine,” the boy replied, though embarrassment laced his tone.

“Merlin, stop chasing each other around and look at the stars,” Peter interjected, gesturing to the sky. “You’re far less likely to trip and die this way.”

“Fine, fine.” James put his hands up, strutting over with Sirius following close behind.

They sat down beside Remus, lying on their backs. You, Peter, and the scar-covered boy followed, getting comfortable on the ground below you.

You rested your hands on your stomach, listening to the gentle wind and admiring the cosmos above you and the group.

Sirius shuffled a little closer to Remus, worming his arm underneath the other boy’s head as support. Remus received the gesture with an affectionate smile, the muscles of his shoulders and neck no longer aching.

James adjusted his glasses, taking them off and wiping their lenses with the hem of his jumper before placing them onto his face again.

For once, the group quieted.

You weren’t always around the Marauders. You met the group on the second day of your first year, swiftly growing to trust and be trusted by them. However, you were in a different house and had your own group of friends which you loved greatly.

If there was one thing you knew, the pranksters were a rambunctious group. There were very few scenarios in which the words were taken from their mouths, and you were glad to be there for one of them.

“...there was a slim chance I was to be allowed into Hogwarts,” Remus suddenly interjected, his voice soft. “Werewolves aren’t really allowed in these spaces. I’m so glad I was, though. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for all of you. Everything has felt easier since I met you lot.”

The rest of you collectively awed, smiling.

You couldn’t see it in the dark, but Sirius shuffled a little closer to Remus.

“Aw, Moony,” James said, a large grin evident in his tone. “You too, Moons. I’m happy we’ve all stuck together. We will, always and forever.”

Even if you weren’t an official Marauder, you still felt your heart warm in your chest and a giddy smile overtake your face.

As a muggle-born, the chances were slim for you, too. But a little part of you knew that, even if you were born a muggle, you would've found them somehow. To know you belonged in something so tight-knit as the Marauders felt like a little more than just a happy accident, and you like to believe they thought so, too.

So, you all lay under the stars until your eyes drooped, and you walked up to your common rooms. That night, sleeping soundly amongst your Hufflepuff friends and roommates, you felt safe in the knowledge that you’d always belong somewhere; no matter the lifetime or universe.

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bluecanvasshoe · 26 days ago

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Frankly, Mr. Shankly

platonic!Marauders x gn!Gryffindor!reader

Picture from Lucy Orpwoodd on Pinterest!

Summary: You've been feeling inadequate in everything, really. It seems the people you thought were pushing you away are the only ones who can help calm these thoughts.

Content: reader struggles with feeling 'average' and 'not good enough', everyone is a bit of an ass but they all apologize, hurt/comfort, Wolfstar is so far just pining in this and Remus is a lil salty, mentions of Sirius' family life :(, use of y/n (IM SORRY), teenagers being weird and communicating poorly

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: WOW i didn,t expect to be writing THIS much over the break, but i'm glad i have! i hope you all enjoy this one!! and: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! MY FIRST FIC OF 2025!

and just to be clear: what’s said in this fic about being average IS NOT the truth. but average is perfectly fine, and what’s been written are anecdotes from the reader’s mind (and mine, hehe). do not take whats said to heart, because you’re amazing no matter what!!!!

title from Frankly, Mr. Shankly by the Smiths!

You've always loved your friends, and you knew they loved you equally. If there's one thing about the Marauders, it's that each second spent is a second valued.

Year five was likely the most fun you’ve had in your life. So, why would year six be any different?

Well, this is how.

Your best friends, your partners in crime, your platonic soulmates who complete the Marauders, a group of five rowdy teens, seemed too good for you nowadays.

You were always painfully average in just about everything. It was well known, and for a long time, it really didn’t bother you. It was easy, low maintenance, and no one expected perfection. But since the start of the year, you soon came to find out that this average-ness made it incredibly easy for you to be outshined.

For so many years, people told you that marks or your number of friends were simply figurative objectives or ideas that didn’t carry any real significance. These assurances, however, are only said aloud when there’s nothing to downplay in the first place.

If you’re extraordinarily pretty, people would say you are blessed, and if you’re smart beyond imagination, people would call you gifted.

If you’re none of those things, if you’re not in the middle or either end of the line, you do not receive compliments because hardly anyone sees a point in complimenting the mode. This isn’t to say that some don’t put in a good attempt at digging deeper; but when you seemingly don’t care nor try, no one sees a point in acknowledging something neither person cares for.

These small encouragements were simply a means to an end, a way to appease the unsatisfied.

You didn’t blame anyone for your faults; that’d be silly. No other Gryffindor, no other friend, would intentionally try to put you down. But intentional or not, they still did.

So when James became Head Boy and had actual responsibilities, you felt a little upset. Not angry or sad, but you did miss spending every hour with him and the others. Not to mention the arrogance that he now held. It’d usually be funny, but now it felt like he was too good, too smart for you. You couldn’t live up to the student body’s role model that is James Potter.

After that, Remus became a Gryffindor prefect. You were happy for him, he truly, 100% deserved it. But then he had his own duties too, and you noticed how much more focused and dedicated he was to his role; a good thing, yes, but he tended to drown himself in responsibilities, distracting him from the Marauders. You now felt brushed off when you tried to make conversation with him, as if other things, things that would’ve usually fallen second, came before his friends now.

Sirius had always been a heartthrob, but over the summer, something must’ve changed to make him more appealing to the eyes of your fellow students. More often than not, he’d be away with someone new, or a new person would tag along in your adventures. This person would then begin to think that they were a Marauder, and it made things incredibly frustrating to have someone who often disregarded your presence assert themself into your life.

Finally, Peter was now spending more time with his girlfriend, a Ravenclaw girl you’d never met and he never specified before. You were happy for him, but now he was so distracted with her and trying to impress her via marks that he didn’t have as much time for the Marauders anymore.

But what about you?

Nothing was new in your life; you hadn’t been awarded the title of prefect, or head of anything, or heartthrob, or the love of someone’s life.

At first, you were sad. However, the start of a new school year was always a little bit melancholy, so you chalked it up to post-summer blues.

But when the leaves started falling and you found yourself walking amongst orange and red trees alone, you became angry. Angry at your friends, Marauders or not, angry at teachers who constantly downplayed your achievements, angry at your fellow students, and most of all, angry at yourself.

If you couldn’t live up to be as good as the rest of the Marauders, did you even deserve to be one?

Did you deserve to be at Hogwarts?

You tried studying more often and staying behind in class to ask questions and improve your grades, but nothing worked. Nothing improved. In your mind, you were a lost cause.

–

It was breaktime, and you were hoping you’d get to hangout with the other Marauders. You stood from your seat in potions, slinging your bag over your shoulder and exiting the dingey classroom.

Exiting the room, you ventured to a classroom close by in hopes that Remus would be there.

“Moons,” you called, approaching him.

He looked up from a piece of paper he had in his free hand, noticing you with a smile. “Oh, hello, N/N.”

“Would you want to come with me to find the others?”

He frowned, gaze sympathetic. “I have a prefect meeting that’s supposed to run for the entire break. I’m sorry, but I really need to go this time.”

You hummed, feeling a twinge of sadness in your chest. “Okay, no problem. Would you like for me to walk you there?”

He shook his head, smiling. “No, I’ll be alright. I’m getting used to it, the cane.”

With a nod, you stepped aside to let him past you. “Alright. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later then, yeah?”

“Of course.”

It was always meetings, or supervisions, or patrols. God, he was too busy these days.

With no Remus to accompany you, you found the divination class where both James and Peter would’ve been.

James, noticing you from the corner of his eye, turned his head to face you. He had an arm around Peter, the two of them moving to stand beside the entrance of the classroom so as to not block those who were walking in the halls.

“Hey! How was potions? No Remus?” James asked, pushing his glasses up.

“Remus has a meeting-” “Right, that reminds me, um, guys, I have a study session this break.” Peter interjected, “sorry for the interruption, but I gotta go.”

“Oh, no problem, Wormy,” you replied, watching as James took his arm from Peter’s shoulder, shoving his back lightly as he walked off.

“You suck, James!” Peter called over his shoulder, receiving a hand-heart from his attacker in return.

You grinned, snickering a little. “Wanna come find Sirius with me?”

He smiled, his hands dropping to his sides as he made eye-contact with you. It was hard to look any of your friends in the eyes lately; you didn’t quite understand why. “Sure!”

You two had been making mindless, nonsensical chatter as you found your way to Sirius’ class. Lo and behold, he was there, leaning against the stone of the wall.

“Why’d you two take forever?” He groaned, standing up from the wall.

“Because your class is really far away,” James shrugged, him and Sirius doing their secret handshake. The long haired boy then turned to you, offering his hand for your handshake.

Once completed, you all began making random conversation, beginning to make your way down to the Black Lake.

“-And I mean, I’m Head Boy. Merlin, sometimes people are so stupid, it hurts!”

Sirius laughed, “yeah, I know. Sometimes people will think that, because I’ve had my fair share of partners and whatnot, they can just say whatever about me. It’s awful, especially when they believe that they’re my best friend for life. I cannot stand it.” He bemoaned dramatically.

“Exactly! People just believe that I’m everybody ever’s best friend because I’m Head Boy, and then-”

You didn’t try to interrupt the conversation; you wouldn’t have anything to say, anyways.

Head Boy, my relationships, prefects. It’s all everyone ever talks about, and it’s getting tiring.

–

Everyone, for the first time in a week, was gathered in the common room. Remus sat with Sirius on a couch opposite to you, James laying across a sofa that faced the fire, and Peter sitting beside where James’ feet landed.

Remus, seeming to remember something, raised his head to look at you. You who had been quiet, avoidant, and easy to anger in recent weeks.

“Right, Y/N, do you still have my copy of the Odyssey Homer I gave to you?”

You looked at him, jaw closed tightly. “Uh, yeah. I can return it in a bit.”

“Could you maybe get it now?” He insisted, his tone kind, but almost cautious. You felt bad for the fact that he felt he needed to be careful, guilt weighing more than it already did.

“...Yeah, alright.” You muttered half-heartedly, setting aside your book and walking past the couches. The warm, cozy atmosphere of the Gryffindor common room would usually be comforting, but it only made you feel more upset. Upset for the time lost between the five of you, and longing for the connection you all had in previous years.

You walked up the steps to your dorm, one of your roommates sitting on their bed. They looked up from a book about divination, giving a wave as you trudged over to your bedside table.

“You’ve been grinding your teeth in your sleep again,” They commented, dogearing a page of the textbook and closing it. “Does your jaw not hurt?”

You ignored their question, head turning to look at them. “Oh. I’m sorry. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Last time I did, Y/N, you were all pissy.”

“Still,” Your head turned back to the drawers as you crouched down, opening a drawer and searching through it. “I would’ve made up for it.”

“Not the point, Y/N. You’re acting weird.” They crossed their arms, leaning back against their headboard.

You paused, heart beating a little faster. So it’s noticeable? Merlin, of course it’s noticeable. But that means that your other friends have noticed it too. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. What’s eating you?”

Sighing, you closed the drawer and opened another one. “It’s just stress from school.”

They hummed, “You just said it was nothing.”

“It is, but now I’m telling you it’s school stress.”

“Exactly. You switched up your excuse because you’re refusing to say what’s been going on with you; it’s something else.”

You sent them an unamused look, trying to appear nonchalant. “Merlin, nothing’s going on. Will you drop it?”

They sighed, picking their textbook back up. “Christ, alright.”

You found the book you’d borrowed with a relieved sigh, closing the drawers of the nightstand and leaving your dorm with an unusual hastiness. Returning to the common room, you wordlessly gave Remus the Odyssey Homer and sat down again.

James craned his head towards you, stopping mid-sentence and interrupting his nonsensical conversation with Sirius. “You alright there?”

Looking up, you raised an eyebrow. “Yes. Why?”

He shrugged, “You haven’t been talking as much. Did we do something? If we did, you’re allowed to punch us all really hard if you tell us what.”

You huffed. They hadn’t done anything, not really. “You guys didn’t do anything.”

Sirius hummed, tilting his head. “You are acting kinda weird, though. We obviously did if you’re being this avoidant, mate. You can talk about it, we’re not gonna be angry.”

“You’ll feel better if you do,” Peter piped up, his words drawn out.

You hesitated. “It’s so stupid.” You muttered, looking at your lap.

“What’d you say?” James asked, leaning forward.

“‘It’s stupid’,” Replied Remus, using air quotes. James gaped, standing up to march over to your couch and sit down beside you.

“If it’s making you feel so upset, then it’s obviously not stupid!” He huffed, a hand on your shoulder. You grimaced, shoulders hunched.

“It’s not a big deal, though. I really shouldn’t be as upset as I am.”

“Nonsense, N/N! Don’t say that,” he chided. Peter leaned forward, each of your friends donning worried expressions.

Sirius scoffed, “you tell me I’m perfectly reasonable whenever i’m upset about my family, so stop being a hypocrite and tell us!”

“It’s not that easy, Pads.” You replied, frowning.

“I know it’s not, but we all trust each other, yeah? You know we wouldn’t judge you like pricks,” He reasoned, dragging Remus with him to squeeze into the vacant space beside you on the couch. Peter got up, opting to sit at the bottom of the sofa by you.

After a few seconds of hesitation, you felt your bottom lip quivering. James frowned, leaning forward to get a look at you; curse him and his observant qualities. “Awe, no, don’t cry,” he held one of your hands, fiddling with you fingers in an ever to calm you. “Actually, no, crying is good. But please, what’s wrong?”

The others, in a collective effort you get you talking, piped in small encouragements.

You wiped your eyes, sniffling. “I feel… I dunno, I feel stupid. Like- like you guys are too… good for me.”

“What? No!” James gasped.

Sirius frowned, an arm around your shoulders. “Absolutely not. You’re not stupid, and we are not ‘too good’!” He exclaimed, acting as though the mere thought was outlandish and preposterous in nature.

“Why would you think that?” Asked Remus, his voice gentle and coaxing.

You shrugged, swallowing your tears. “You’re… You’re all accomplishing things. And I’m really happy for you all, but I-” your voice cracked, the painful constricting of your throat cutting off your words. You’re not sure if your tears are out of anger or sadness. “I’m not doing anything. I’m not achieving anything impressive. I’m surrounded by amazing people, but I can’t even live up to a quarter of the person they are, and I’m so tired of it.”

You purse your lips, wiping at your eyes again. “And I- I…” With a deep breath, you felt the frustration in your chest bubble up again, the irresistible urge to snap consuming your thoughts and controlling your mouth. “I can’t be the person everyone else is; I’m so average it hurts, and every day I’m reminded of the fact that I’m not and won’t ever be as good as everyone else because now I’m being left alone with my thoughts more often. And- and it’s because all of you have some new title, or are too busy studying and I miss being friends with all of you and I feel so selfish, but I’m so pissed.”

When you were done, you took in what was likely the biggest breath of your life, lungs expanding wider than they ever had. Not even running could render you as out of breath as you currently are.

The rest of the Marauders fell silent, sharing expressive glances and mulling over the right things to say.

“We’re still friends. Marks, names, none of that... actually matters to us. They’re just things.” Peter replied, his voice soft.

You huffed, blinking back tears. “Everyone says that because no one understands that I try so hard to achieve that ‘thing’. It’s so much more to me than that; I just- I just want to be good enough.” You choked out, the anger fading from your voice and being replaced with a pathetic, sad crackle.

James’s hand tightened on your shoulder. “Hey, no, you are good enough. We don't care about any of that,” his tone grew to become more serious than it previously was, his words carrying double the weight. “We became friends with you because we all sat in the same train compartment and got along when we were eleven. Do you think we cared when we were kids?”

You took a steadying breath, shaking your head ‘no’.

“Do you think we care now?” He continued, thumb rubbing shapes into the bone of your shoulder.

“I don’t- I don’t think so.”

He nodded, “Good, ‘cause we don’t; you’re an enjoyable person, we value that the most!”

“Just because Prongs and Moony’ve got posh new titles doesn’t mean they’re better,” Sirius commented up from your other side, nudging you. “If they really believed in that stuff, do you think they’d be friends with us? I mean, we have a detention slip scrapbook, mate. Not really goody-two-shoes behaviour.”

You huffed a laugh at the mention of your shared collection of write-ups, wiping at your eyes.

“That’s not everything though, is it?” James and Remus chorused, giving each other a quick high five soon after.

You took a second, but you eventually shook your head ‘no’ once more. “Sirius, the people you’ve been hanging out with, they… I don’t like it when someone new is with us.” You said cautiously, looking at him in the corner of your eye. He blinked a few times, nodding. “They ignore me, Remus and Peter most of the time and it- it just feels a bit… degrading?”

Sirius’ mouth opened, giving a slow, understanding nod. “Ooh. Yeah… I can see why,” he sympathised with you, looking at Remus briefly. “Moony and I have talked a bit about it. I swear, I’m not doing it ‘cause I think we need someone new, but I don’t want to abandon you lot to go be with someone so seems cool; not as cool us, of course. I’ve tried not to involve them in our hangouts a ton, but- I dunno, I suppose they get in their head about it and act like they’re a part of our group. I’m sorry, not just to you, but to everyone. I’ve been an ass.”

You smiled, looking at him. “Thanks, Pads. It’s okay.”

He shook you a little, frowning. “Awe, don’t say that, hold me accountable. James said you could punch us, you could punch me!”

With a grin, you shook your head. “I’m not gonna punch you. That was shitty, though.”

“It was shitty, so if you won’t, I’ll punch him!” James offered, his usual attitude reappearing as he enthusiastically raised his hand.

“Let’s not punch each other,” Remus said at the same time as Peter interjected, lifting his head to say, “Can we not?”

“They’re constantly inhibiting our fun,” James whined, stretching his arm over you to hold hands with Sirius, who had a dramatic, forlorn expression on his face.

“We’re hated by everyone.” Sirius sighed, shaking his head.

Remus raised an eyebrow, frowning. The look he gave Sirius, the one the other would gaze at him with in much the same way, was one of longing and affection. It was torturous, really; seeing how in-love but convinced about its assumed one-sidedness they were. “Do you not have a fan club or something?”

“Let me be sad, Remus.”

James laughed, separating his hand from Sirius’ and looking at you again. “Seriously, though. We’ll never be ‘too good’ for you or leave you behind for something stupid like a title, mate. You’re our best friend, you always have been, and nothing will change that,” he squeezed your shoulders, glasses reflecting the warm light of the fire.

Remus nodded, “none of us were abandoning you. I suppose we all got distracted in our own ordeals, but we’d never knowingly distance ourselves from you. You’re one of us; your status doesn’t change that.”

You gave both Remus and James a watery smile, old tears drying in your eyes. “I’m sorry for being avoidant. I should’ve- I should’ve said what was happening, it’s not fair to you, I’m- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize!” James exclaimed, removing his arms from you to outstretch at his sides, enveloping you in a hug immediately after.

Remus reached past Sirius, putting a hand on the middle of your upper back. “You’re a great friend, and I truly, honestly mean that. And you’re smart, too; don’t forget that. If I didn’t have you to talk with, I’d go insane. I hardly think they can even read.”

Sirius and James squawked dramatic refusals in response to his claim, causing Remus to grin smugly.

Sirius cleared his throat, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Anyways, if we’re all saying things we like about you, I still remember when you incendio’d that letter my mother sent in third year. I thought you were a badass. I still do; you’re cooler than that git.” He gestured to Remus, causing the scarred boy to raise his hands in faux shock, mouth slightly agape.

“I agree with what they said,” Peter interjected from the floor. “You’re a good friend. We all met on the train for a reason, I think.”

“Exactly, Wormy.” Sirius nudged Peter with his foot, the boy shoving it away in return.

After all was said and everyone was forgiven, you eventually all moved to form a group hug.

“Let’s pull a prank after this. ”James suggested, his voice muffled. “Let’s douse the hallways in grease from the kitchens again.”

Maybe the couch was tiny and didn’t fit all of you and maybe you couldn’t breathe anymore, but at least self-deprecation wasn't the cause for your breathlessness. The anxious, upset racing of your heart was replaced by happiness. The nasty thoughts clouding your mind and drowning out any sounds around you were replaced by giggles or dumb jokes from your closest friends.

For the first time in a few months, you felt that being average, normal, was okay.

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