#bj x charles x trapper

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: M*A*S*H

Sample Size: 2,385 stories

Source: AO3

[animnightmare]

House MD x M*A*S*H AU Drabbles.

my friend challenged me to write this and a billion ideas immediately spawned in my head but I don't have the motivation to write a proper fic.

-Since House would be too old to he drafted in the army and wouldn't willingly serve his country if his life depended on it, Ive decided that Wilson enlisted him as a prank during a very heated prank war.

-It would be during later seasons so I can draw parallels between BJ and Wilson, but I very much believe Trapper and House would've gotten along

-There would be episodes/chapters/what have you where Houses medication got caught up in supply, or he's forced to sacrifice it like Klinger does with his thread.

-Hawkeye and House would bond early on over their best friends lovers being psychosexual maniacs. "He enlisted me. As a prank." "He sent me into a severe episode of paranoia and then laughed at me." and then they pine about it

-BJ and Hawkeye would constantly call him Gregory/Greg instead of House, and it would annoy him to no end. (Eventually he stops this by calling Hawkeye Benjamin all the time, and after having an even more extreme reaction to BJ not explaining the acronym than Hawkeye had, gets BJ to stop by calling him Blow Job all the time.)

-Charles would have mixed feelings about house when he arrives due to knowing a lot about PPBTH's reputation.

-I think he and Sidney should have a sass off, punch eachother, then have a drink together.

-Potter would fucking hate him. BJs insanity mixed with Hawkeyes disregard for the rules without any of their good hearted natures. If only he werent such a damn good doctor.

-Mulcahy would hate him even more than he dislikes Charles. He would officially become the one person Mulcahy actively hates, I think.

-Radar would be terrified of him.

-To everyone's surprise, he and Klinger get along. Klinger wasnt afraid to push back, and House respects this about him. That being said he still constantly calls him slurs, but people quickly realize he doesnt actually discriminate.

-House would probobly go to bat for Klinger tbh

-House despises Mulcahy even more than the Father does in return, because of his immediate hate for all things religious. Never gives up an opportunity to argue religion with this man.

[remyfire]

trapper and BJ as werewolves and/or weredogs tho (i am sorry i was looking in the tags of one of your posts and you also at some point made me consider trapper x hawkeye x bj and now it's one of the only things i can think about, unless I'm on the charles x hawkeye x bj train which i can also say with decent conviction is bc i follow you. why are triads so fun and good tho)

OBSESSED with this yes.

Anon I can't actually talk normally about werewolf Beej and Trap because I have so many thoughts about it and they're all personally brewed in a vat to make me fall on the floor and scream with like a kind of obsessed adoration that would worry the general public. But please know I am rotating them.

(please know it involves exactly what it would feel like to be a seekrit werewolf who comes to a camp that smells to you like NOTHING but another werewolf, except nobody around seems to smell it or ever bring it up)

Also YES I am doing my part this year to flesh out as many triads and vees and quads and other forms of polycules as feasibly possible and just cover AO3 in them and I am so excited~ They're so good!! Introducing that ever shifting dynamic between characters, which ones like to spend time together doing certain things and which one would rather go off by themself for a little bit and be relieved that they're not always needed. Which ones are all attached at the hip and can't bear to be apart which makes the two-shower situation difficult. Which ones would like their own bedroom after the war, actually, please, though they will share a bed with the other two relatively often.

Sorry I'm just. Man. Polyamory. God I love triads.

[onekisstotakewithme]

2, 3, 16 :)

2. a headcanon you weren’t sure about at first but have come to like!

I have been wracking my brain about this one, lmao. It's one of those 'do you have headcanons about x' and then all thoughts flee my head immediately.

I've come around to Trapper and Charles getting acquainted post-war in Boston just for the lolz.

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

If I love John Hoynes, I owe most of my good energy towards him to @thebreakfastgenie so. does that count? Sadly am now a Hoynes girlie.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

I wish more people would appreciate the absolute subversion of tropes that is Peg Hunnicutt. Like much like BJ is the clean-shaven 'innocent' new doctor/ stereotypical 50s everyman *who slowly gets corrupted by the war trauma*, Peg is like. you'd expect her to be the stereotypical 50s housewife, but instead most of what we find out about her is just subverting that! Burning jam. Fixing the sink herself (and flooding the kitchen). Sending BJ cookies in an envelope! Getting poison oak. Threatening (offscreen) to keep BJ in bed the whole first day he's back. She's a queen. And I love that she is!

sorry for the ramble, I just fuckiNG LOVE HER.

[quordleona03]

Hawkeye and Frank leave: BJ and Charles arrive. Trapper would be angry and drunk a lot of the time. Though he and BJ could bond over pics of their kids, BJ would envy him having all that time with his kids before he was drafted and resolutely Disapprove every time Trapper said things like "I'm a married man, honey, I only date girls that don't know that." Hawkeye and Trapper would write to each other. BJ would be Mister Super-Clean on the outside, secret demon practical joker on the inside. No one but him ever finds out he's the practical joker. Both Trapper and Charles take his sympathy at face value. BJ does not develop a Hawkeye-Complex because Trapper is not his best friend. When he falls off the fidelity wagon, he writes to Peg about it, with whatever future effect on their relationship. He writes to Peg a lot. Charles would be Chief Surgeon. He'd resent like hell having to share the Swamp with Trapper and BJ. He would resent Trapper in particular for being Irish, and think BJ was better, but Trapper is actually a better meatball surgeon than BJ, having had a year's more experience, and Charles has to acknowledge that. It doesn't make Trapper like him any better. I don't think this would be "sad", exactly. I think this would be Vesuvius looking to blow.

A Trapper-BJ-Charles swamp on the other hand would be so sad. It would just be absolutely professional.

[variousqueerthings]

things I want to write

1. summary of my s2 rewatch (I say, nearly through my s3 rewatch) and within that

- some overall thoughts about trapper the second time around

- some overall thoughts about klinger the second time around 

(also can be summarised by “I read one fic in which trapper and klinger get together one time and it was 👀👀👀 very good”) 

- also comparison of trapper and bj, because I think it’s hilarious to do so

2. summary of my s10 first time watch, and within that

- some thoughts about margaret post s8 

- some thoughts about charles post s8 

- eventually get the darn extra-long thing I’m writing about hawkeye done 

- a few words on potter, because I feel like I don’t underline how Good Dad he is, but also ideas about time and nostalgia and imagining how people might look back on their time at MASH x years on

[mashed4077]

🌃 intro post! 🌃

(bit late but i didn’t want a cluttered bio anymore so here’s this)

hiii im shay! i fixated on mash back in november and i officially finished it on march 22nd 2023!! im gonna rewatch soon tho

about this blog

this is a side-blog!

tags: i tag pretty extensively for the sake of categorization; here’s hoping my character tags prove fun to scroll through!

queue: as of the day i’m writing this, i have a very full queue, because i have a habit of liking literally every post i see related to a fixation, and then spam-queuing it later to clean my likes out. so i hope you enjoy all the content! lots of funny scenes and textposts, well-made gifsets, wonderful fanart, and insightful meta, if i do say so myself. mashblr is a talented bunch!

original posts/content: i don’t contribute much on my own, but i love to ramble and i hope some of my lengthy tags prove an interesting or at least entertaining read :) i do dabble in fanfic writing and i’ve got a few mash works in my drafts, but i’m not sure if they’ll ever see the light of day. i’m also fond of meta and character analysis, so if i ever work up the courage maybe ill put out some moderately thought-provoking posts in that realm.

some of my opinions relating to mash characters & ships can be found under the read more!

these are all subjective and i completely respect anyone who disagrees :) we’re all here to have fun!

summarized thoughts on the characters (kinda sorted by fav to least fav)

mulcahy has been driving me bonkers for months (and my jewish ass has been putting far too much thought into catholicism lately bc of him😒)

frank,,,, listen. i’m sorry. but listen, as baffled and/or disgusted as you are, i’m the mf stuck being the only one in this entire fandom who flails over frank burns. so how do you think i feel. ik he’s absolutely awful, but he’s just so damn pathetic, i can’t help but like him and find him fascinating

radar is a bubby to me, i dont rlly have complex thoughts on him hes kinda just a comfort character to me n ilhsm

charles... he snuck up on me. i didnt expect to like him, much less relate to him (-_-) i just exposed myself as a charles winchester kinnie how will my reputation recover

i love hawkeye a lot, as we all do <3

i love trapper john mcintyre!!!!!!!!!!

i love margaret!!! i love klinger!!! i love henry!!!��

im pretty neutral on potter and bj

in short: i love them all a lot but mulcahy and frank have each driven me particularly mad in different ways and radar with his animals has made me cry and charles would probably drive me nuts if i let him but i am keeping him at arm’s length.

summarized thoughts on ships (again, strongest first)

(yes i have frank ships. no i am not proud of it)

my mash otp is hawkahy. it’s been slowly draining the remainder of my sanity. i havent slept in months. send help

i am a sucker for enemies/rivals to lovers and hawnk kinda makes me a little nuts.

i know he’s not good for her but i think margaret x frank have a rlly interesting relationship and they can be cute sometimes, and i think about them more than i’d like to admit. i am not immune to het ships consisting of badass women with control issues and their toxic pathetic purse-dog boyfriends.

henry x klinger is literally canon idc

pierceintyre... ;-; hh

i love semi-niche trapper ships. trapcahy is a little bit 👀 and i really like trapper x margaret

hawkeye x henry... shh...

bonus trios i think about sometimes😳: hawkeye x margaret x frank, margaret x frank x flagg (SHH), hawkeye x trapper x mulcahy. do u see my evil vision

aaand some platonic dynamics i particularly enjoy

mulcahy & klinger are besties :)

mulcahy & margaret have a sibling dynamic that i absolutely adore, esp in the potter seasons, particularly the later ones.

charles & margaret are a fun duo. the ship tease they did a little was... idk how to feel about it, but i like them as buddies.

margaret & klinger... the girlies

hawkeye & klinger!!! the el jibbities are flocking together..

hawkeye & margaret :)

i do very much enjoy hawkeye & bj’s friendship

not friendship but charles & mulcahy’s animosity is sooo funny i will never tire of it

notps: klinger x charles, and hunnihawk. do not doxx me.

i think thats all for now. enjoy my nonsense!

.mobile header credit.

.desktop theme sidebar credit.

[captainafab]

mash alignment chart 5/?

[Image description: an alignment chart. On the X-axis, left to right it reads ‘Gaslight’, ‘Gatekeep’, and ‘Girlboss’. On the Y-axis, top to bottom it reads ‘Manipulate’, ‘Mansplain’, and ‘Malewife’. The following points are designated with pictures of nine different M*A*S*H characters as follows:

‘Manipulate — Gaslight’: BJ Hunnicutt. ‘Manipulate — Gatekeep’: Trapper John. ‘Manipulate — Girlboss’: Hawkeye Pierce. ‘Mansplain — Gaslight’: Colonel Potter.   ‘Mansplain — Gatekeep’: Charles Winchester. ‘Mansplain — Girlboss’: Margaret Houlihan. ‘Malewife — Gaslight’: Radar O’Reilly. ‘Malewife — Gatekeep’: Frank Burns. ‘Malewife — Girlboss’: Maxwell Klinger.

End ID.]

[sorry-i-spaced]

For the Please ask: MASH. 😊

Favorite character: Klinger

Least Favorite character: Frank

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Beejhawk, Piercintyer, Punnihawk, Margaret x Trapper, Charles x Hawkeye (as you can tell I'm not particular about my ships lmao)

Character I find most attractive: Trapper

Character I would marry: Klinger

Character I would be best friends with: Klinger

a random thought: Klinger deserved better

An unpopular opinion: Flagg is really funny

My Canon OTP: Klinger and Soon Lee

My Non-canon OTP: Punnihawk

Most Badass Character: Margaret

Most Epic Villain: BJ (I said what I said)

Pairing I am not a fan of: Sidney x Hawkeye

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Hawkeye

Favourite Friendship: Radar and Klinger

Character I most identify with: Radar

Character I wish I could be: Klinger

[quordleona03]

WHAT IF I know this is crazy but hear me out there was a AU where Charles and BJ arrived at the same time and Trapper and Hawkeye were still there, and Frank had moved out to the CEO's quarters, and then Potter barrels in and refuses to let Charles leave and promotes Hawkeye to Major because he's Chief Surgeon and then Frank has a meltdown because Hawkeye is the same military rank as him and Potter gets rid of him - and BJ and Trapper get along wonderfully and Hawkeye finds himself hanging out with Charles - whose ulterior motive for making nice with Hawkeye is that Hawkeye could have him sent back to Tokyo?

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

M*A*S*H Mobile Masterlist

Hawkeye Pierce x Elizabeth “Doc” O’Neil (OC)

What’s Up Doc? Series

What’s Up Doc?: Part 1

Episode Outlines/Notes

Pilot Episode Outline

The Interview

Hawkeye Gets a Fever Episode Outline

“The More I See You” Notes

“Congratulations It’s a Doctor” Episode Outline (original)

“Comrades in Arms Part 1 and 2” Episode Notes

The M*A*S*H Olympics Notes

Liz' Former Mentor Comes to the 4077th - Rough Notes

"Yes Sir, That's Our Baby" Episode Notes

"Goodbye Radar Part 1 and 2" Episode Notes

"Nurse Doctor" Episode Notes

Some Random Plot Bunnies

Doc's Confession Episode - Rough Notes

"C*A*V*E" Episode Notes

One-Shots

Shaking Hands

On Purpose

Something Domestic (Post-Canon)

Drabbles

Pierce Gets a Fever

"Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2 am?"

"I'm a doctor not a brick layer"

Breaking The Kiss To Say Something, Staying So Close That You’re Murmuring Into Each Other’s Mouths/ Long kiss

“Speak softly and carry a mighty big stick.”

"Well you're ah...and they're ah..."

"Here, take my coat."

"Why do you always do the opposite of what I say?"

Happy New Year Hawkeye

Top of Head Kiss

“Stay with me forever.”

Just some fluff

Doc Wears Hawkeye’s Robe

Hawkeye Seeing Doc Dolled Up

Following The Kiss With A Series Of Kisses Down The Neck

public kiss

Help me I’m being hit on at a bar please be my fake boyfriend for a second

“I want to kiss every inch of your body before I fuck you.” (18+)

“I may or may not have left some...marks.” (Light 18+)

Locked in a Room + Huddling for Warmth

"I want you to be happy."

braiding the other’s hair

falling asleep on the other's shoulder

5 Sentence Fics

“What time is it?” “Pass me the trombone” *blasts trombone* “Who is playing trombone at 2 AM?” “Its 2 AM.”

dancing together

gentle touch

hug

touch

“You don’t have to be brave around me.”

christmas

"Hawkeye, get your feet out of my face."

“I may or may not have accidentally adopted a kitten”

"I think I'm at a loss."

"Where are my long johns?"

"let me get that"

"Not nearly as bad I thought it would be, but still pretty bad."

"I am fond of you, you know? But I I wish you weren't such a stinker"

"Now that's what I call entertainment"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't seen nothing yet."

domestic fluff

"And that's why we are never going to talk about it again."

Mistletoe

Headcanons

What Hawkeye and Liz Do After the War

Bookshop + Soulmate AU

A Random Countdown Soulmate AU

Blind Date + Almost Kiss

Fake Dating + Mutual Pining

Vacation Fic + Bed Sharing

Text/Letter Fic + Grief Fic

What Happens After the War

Fairy Tale + Royalty AU

Almost Kiss + Scars Fic

Flirting With the Nurses

Misc. Relationship Tag Questions

Sleepovers

Family: Relationship Tag Questions

Sleeping/Disagreements: Relationship Tag Questions

How Would Liz Have Handled Hawkeye's Sleepwalking

Pregnancy Scare

Dealing with the In-Laws

Getting Married

Birthday Fic + Secret Relationship

How Does Potter Help Hawkeye Deal with Doc's Rejection

Hairbrushing/Braiding + Everybody Knows/Mistaken for a Couple

What Happens When Liz Goes into Labor with Their First Kid

Halloween Headcanons

When Everyone Found Out Liz and Hawkeye Were in Love

Dialogue Dumps/Notes

Character Bio

Random M*A*S*H OC Dialogue

Another M*A*S*H Dialogue Dump

Relationship Dump

Relationship Dump 2 (Father Mulcahy + Klinger)

Liz's Relationship with Charles and Sidney

General Character Breakdown/Relationships

Doc's Relationship wit Colonel Flagg

How does Doc react to Henry and Trapper’s leaving? And to the subsequent arrival of BJ and Potter?

Through Another's Eyes: Hawkeye Pierce on Elizabeth O'Neil

Incorrect Liz Quotes

Elizabeth "Doc" O'Neil's Tag in General

Elizabeth "Doc" O'Neil Playlist

[jbhoneydew]

M*A*S*H Poll Results!

Thanks everyone who voted. There were 130 valid responses so the percentages are based on how many responses voted for X person. Sorted by least to most votes:

Hawkeye Pierce - 80 votes (61.5%)

BJ Hunnicutt - 78 votes (60%)

Radar O’Reilly - 65 votes (50%)

Max Klinger - 57 votes (43.8%)

Margaret Houlihan - 56 votes (43.1%)

Father Mulcahy - 53 votes (40.8%)

Sidney Freedman - 51 votes (39.2%) 

Nurse Kellye - 45 votes (34.6%)

Henry Blake - 44 votes (33.8%) 

Trapper John McIntyre - 35 votes (26.9%) 

Charles Emerson Winchester III - 30 votes (23.1%) 

Sherman Potter - 29 votes (22.3%) 

Nurse Ginger Bayliss - 24 votes (18.5%) 

Igor Straminsky - 12 votes (9.2%) 

Nurse Margie Cutler - 9 votes (6.9%) 

Oliver Jones - 7 votes (5.4%) 

Frank Burns - 6 votes (4.6%) 

Ugly John Black - 5 votes (3.8%) 

Sophie The Horse - 3 votes (2.3%) 

Captain Tuttle - 2 votes (1.5%)

Colonel Flagg - 2 votes (1.5%) 

Luther Rizzo - 2 votes (1.5%)

Nurse Sheila Anderson - 1 vote (0.77%)

Nurse Edwina - 1 vote (0.77%)

Tommy Gillis - 1 vote (0.77%)

 5 O Clock Charlie: 1 (0.77%)

[angryhausfrau-writes]

You Can’t Cross the Same River Twice - Chapter 13

"Hey, Trapper, you want to add anything to this Christmas card to BJ?" Hawkeye asks.

They've written joint Christmas cards to Radar and Klinger and Father Mulcahy and some of the nurses - Trapper's currently sitting across from Hawkeye at the dining room table, finishing his part of their letter to Ginger. They've sent a joint present to Hawkeye's dad and bought joint gifts for the girls. They're a unit - HawkeyeandTrapper.

But it had been HawkeyeandBJ for a while - if not quite in the same way.

"I don't know that he'd even want to hear from me. I don't mean anything to him other than being your roommate." And Trapper is also someone BJ had gotten jealous over a couple times. "Better just be from you, Hawk."

"All right." Hawkeye sounds tired.

Trapper reaches across the table and takes his hand. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know if I even know what's bothering me." Hawkeye sighs. "This isn't my first go at this kind of relationship - although it's probably the most.. settled version. I know that I can't go yelling about how much I love you from the rooftops, can't even write about it in a goddamn Christmas card to my friends. I'm grateful for how many people know the truth, I really am, I'm glad we don't have to hide our relationship from Margaret or my dad or Sidney. But sending out all these letters really shows just how many people - people I love and care about - I have to hide it from. Because even if they didn't turn us in, they wouldn't understand."

"You ever think. You ever wish you found a girl to settle down with? Someone you could tell everyone about." Trapper takes a breath. "I wouldn't. I wouldn't blame you if you wished for that. If you wanted to go looking for it."

"Nah." Hawkeye seems to be trying for casual, but he ain't quite hitting the mark. "I think about all the girls I've been with - and I've had a lot of fun with some of them, don't get me wrong. But in the back of my mind, it was always. There was always this part of me saying I had to do it. It kept me safe, more than anything - more than being about the sex or romance, it was about being safe. And that colored things, took a lot of the romance - the potential for a future - right out of the relationship. I spent a lot of time chasing women who had absolutely no interest in me because it was an easy way to keep up appearances without having to actually do anything."

Hawkeye pauses.

"I don't want to go back to that, Trap. It was.. empty. Not like the connection, the understanding we have with each other. And maybe someday I will meet another Kyung Soon - another women I could have something lasting with - but it seems stupid to give up what I've got now - something good, something permanent, something meaningful - just on the off chance. I just wish..." Hawkeye trails off.

"Wish the world was a whole hell of a lot less shitty?" Trapper asks, sardonic.

Hawkeye laughs. "Yeah, that. I guess I got so used to the.. freedom of the 4077 - we were all just a bunch of weirdos stuck together in an impossible situation, desperately trying to stay sane, you know? - that I forgot what the real world was like a little bit. People didn't bat an eye at the jokes I made or the closeness I shared with you and BJ - it was just how I was, one weirdo out of a whole camp of weirdos. I forgot that other people - people in the real world - cared about that kind of thing so much. Especially after Frank left and I wasn't getting called a degenerate every day."

"And now you're back here in the real world and it's not what you remembered, not what you dreamed of to get you through Korea," Trapper says.

Hawkeye nods, defeated.

And Trapper knows how that feels. Trapper had felt the same thing when it had hit him that he was home. This was it. There was nothing else waiting for him. No magical, perfect world - dreamed of through rose tinted memory all through the Korean nights - nothing special hidden away behind the brutal reality of America and Boston and home.

"I guess I'm feeling kind of betrayed," Hawkeye says. "All that fighting for "democracy." All that blood and death. And I come back here - back home - and I ask myself if it was worth it. If this is really what we're trying to protect - to spread to other people. Conformity and bigotry and hate. And I feel like a fool for ever thinking - ever hoping - there was a reason for what we did. Something good behind the blood and shit and death." Hawkeye takes a breath. "There's a lot of good in my life, don't get me wrong. There are a lot of things that make me happy - you, the kids, the clinic, this strange little family we've cobbled together from the dregs of two different wars. But it's. A lot of the best parts of my life have to stay hidden. It's a secret happiness. And the fact that I can't tell BJ - the guy who was my best friend through some of the worst times in my life - about you, about how important you are to me. That really drives it all home."

Trapper squeezes Hawkeye's hand tight. There's not really anything to say to that - no words are adequate.

"At least we'll get to see Margaret and Sidney at New Years. People who know - who we can be open around." Hawkeye sighs and then straightens from his defeated slump. "I'm not - I'm not about to go stick my head in an oven or try and storm the White House or anything. I'm ok, Trap. Everything kind of just hit me all at once, but I'm ok."

"Wanna go out tonight? Be around other people - other guys like us?" Trapper asks. It might help Hawkeye feel less alone - less lost. It had sure helped Trapper when he first got back.

"Yeah," Hawkeye says, "that sounds nice." And he leaves the letter to BJ there on the table.

The bar is an oasis of warmth and light after the snowy streets of Boston. Full of laughter and chatter and dancing. Proof that Hawkeye isn't alone.

He dances with a dozen different men. Feels the warm solidity of their bodies, the strength of their arms. Knows with a certainty that this is real. He is real.

Trapper watches it all from the bar, face open and warm. And at the end of the night, he takes Hawkeye into his arms for a final spin around the dancefloor. Takes Hawkeye home and tucks him into bed under the warm covers in the cozy home they've made for themselves here.

And the next morning, Hawkeye sees that Trapper has written a short note at the end of Hawkeye's letter to BJ. And he smiles as he seals the envelope.

--

Trapper comes home from work to find a mysterious package sitting on the dining room table. Hawkeye's starring at it as intently as if it were a bomb. But unless Frank somehow got their address, it's probably not immediately dangerous - so Trapper takes the time to hang up his coat and hat and leaves his shoes to dry on the mat before approaching.

"Whatcha got there, Hawk? You're staring at that box like you can will yourself into x-ray vision."

"It's from Charles. And there's no note so I wanted to wait until you showed up just in case it's a lethal prank." Hawkeye brandishes a pair of scissors and cuts the package open. "The moment of truth!" he exclaims as he throws back the wrappings.

It's a fruitcake.

"Well, you weren't kidding about it being potentially lethal," Trapper says. "I'm pretty sure you could light it on fire from three feet away, it's got so much booze in it."

"What the hell are we supposed to do with it?" Hawkeye asks. "Use it for a doorstop? One slice and I'd be drunk for a week."

"Don't look at me," Trapper says. "I prefer to drink my booze and eat my dessert separate. Maybe you could bring it into the clinic, see if the other staff want any."

"Yeah, unless he also gave Letta the same gift. I can't compete with her powers of persuasion - I'd end up taking them both home. Ah. There's a little card stuck in it. Says Merry Christmas blah blah token of my friendship to all those in our card club blah Winchester family tradition blah blah Charles."

"Boy, if that's a Winchester family tradition they must all be absolutely plastered for the entire month of December," Trapper says.

"Must be what gets them through all those high-society holiday festivities." Then Hawkeye sighs. "Well, if bringing it to the clinic and pawning it off on Dr. Wilson is out, what do we do?"

"Uh," Trapper says, thinking. "We could put it on the stoop next door, kind of a mystery Christmas present for the neighbors."

"Good thinking - make it someone else's problem." Hawkeye re-wraps the cake and writes Merry Christmas in big letters on the box. "Think it'll be ok outside overnight?"

"Well, it ain't snowing and the cake's practically pickled - it'll probably be fine," Trapper says. And then after a peek through the front curtains, "Quick, let's put it outside now when no one's around to see us."

When Hawkeye leaves for work the next morning, the cake is gone. But when Trapper comes home off a late shift, he reports that the cake has been re-wrapped and placed on another doorstep a few houses down. Apparently the O'Gradys hadn't thought much of it either.

They make a sort of game of it, betting pocket change on who will get it next and admiring their neighbors' taste in holiday wrapping paper. Until finally, a week after it had arrived, the cake disappears permanently.

"Think it actually got eaten?" Trapper asks.

"Maybe they did the sensible thing and chucked it unopened," Hawkeye says. "I'm just glad that scourge of the neighborhood is finally gone."

But they can genuinely tell Charles they got a lot of enjoyment out of his gift when he asks about it at poker night.

--

Hawkeye's an agnostic and Trapper's been excommunicated but it's still nice to have Christmas with his family. Ok, it's not exactly Christmas - he and Hawkeye both have to work on the actual holiday - but he gets the kids the weekend after and they've got a tree and presents and Hawkeye's dad shipped a whole box of Pierce family decorations down.

They eat dinner together and then sit around the glowing tree and drink hot chocolate. It feels like home. Like family. Trapper maybe tears up a little. He'd missed that feeling last year, what with things between him and Louise so strained.

The girls are just thrilled to get to go through the festivities twice.

Hawkeye is absolutely giddy with excitement. There's something about watching people you love open the gifts you got just for them. Seeing Becky's blinding smile at the stack of Nancy Drew books gets a matching grin from him. And Cathy goes wild for the ice skates they'd gotten for her - especially when she manages to extract a promise to go to the ice rink on her next visit.

Hawkeye is even more overwhelmed when Cathy gives him the scarf he'd gotten her started knitting all those months ago. It's a little lumpy and misshapen but it's warm and soft and obviously made with love. And it's a nice cheerful pink, just the thing to chase away the winter blues. Hawkeye gives her a big hug and vows to wear it every day.

Later, after the kids are in bed, he and Trapper exchange gifts. And when Trapper opens Hawkeye's gift for him - the sweater, started almost the moment he got home - he's on the edge of his seat. Hawkeye's made a lot of people knitwear as gifts, but this is a bigger project than most. And for someone who's opinion means an awful lot.

"Hawkeye." Trapper sounds awed. "I love it, thank you." He cradles the sweater to his chest like it's something precious.

"Well, try it on," Hawkeye urges. "I want to see how I did on the sizing."

Trapper complies. And it looks good. Trapper's got a cute body regardless but the fit is flattering and Hawkeye was right about the color bringing out the green in Trapper's eyes. Hawkeye lets out a low whistle in appreciation.

"It meet your standards?" Trapper asks as he does a slow turn to show off all the angles. "It sure is comfy. I don't know that I'll wanna take it off till August."

"I've outdone myself with this one, Trap, it has to be said." Hawkeye lets himself sound a little smug. And then more seriously he says, "I'm glad you like it."

And then Hawkeye makes impatient grabby hands. "C'mon Trap, enough with the catwalk. What did you get me?"

Trapper hands over the package. And he's been nervous about this. He's not as well read - not as cultured - as Hawkeye is. But he'd liked the author from English class and knows Hawkeye's referenced at least one of his poems. And the book has a lot about war and living in the aftermath. It felt appropriate. Though Trapper's still not sure if Hawkeye will appreciate the book or understand what Trapper's trying to say with it.

But Hawkeye looks happy with the gift - and then he opens the book to the marked page and reads:

Let it go on; let the love of this hour be poured out till all the answers are made, the last dollar spent and the last blood gone.

 Time runs with an axe and a hammer, time slides down the hallways with a pass-key and a master-key, and time gets by, time wins.

 Let the love of this hour go on; let all the oaths and children and people of this love be clean as a washed stone under a waterfall in the sun.

 Time is a young man with ballplayer legs, time runs a winning race against life and the clocks, time tickles with rust and spots.

Let love go on; the heartbeats are measured out with a measuring glass, so many apiece to gamble with, to use and spend and reckon; let love go on.

Hawkeye's a little misty-eyed when he looks back up.

"Thank you, Trapper." And then Hawkeye's hugging him, the book squeezed awkwardly between them.

It looks like he does understand after all.

[remyfire]

Why not have a quadrangle? Hawkeye x Trapper x Charles x BJ. Might as well throw in Frank, Margaret, Mulcahy, and Klinger and really make it interesting. Even Henry’s ghost can join in. Potter is too old and Radar is too young.

See the thing is I would actually do this and I can't tell if this ask is making fun of me for that fact or not, but sincerely would with minor adjustments to the cast listed above. And quite honestly, Mulcahy got out of the Hawk bukkake fic by the skin of his fucking teeth, he was GODDAMN close.

[quordleona03]

Many, many years ago I developed an interest in the X-Files. (This is relevant: bear with me.) This was the very first time in my fannish life where I watched a man-woman pair of characters interacting and I thought "hey, I would like to read fanfic about this relationship!" I was very much a slash fan but didn't want to read Mulder/Krycek or Mulder/Skinner: I saw the Mulder/Scully relationship on screen and I thought "I want to read fanfic about THAT." So I looked for it. And did I find it? Oh yes. Yards of it. Marathons of it. Gooey, sweet, hearts-and-flowers, romantic fanfic locked into standard models of heterosexual relationships: not looking in the least like the intense, focussed, brittle, intelligent pair with chemistry and reason not to get involved (work! FBI regs! Mulder is actually under suspicion! Scully's been abducted! Everyone is out to get them! Trust no one!) that I could see on screen.

I went back to reading healthy, normal fanfic stories in which men who are emotionally screwed up get into relationships they shouldn't with other men and screw each other up still further.

But. If I were inclined to look for heterosexual fanfic about Hawkeye, which I am not, particularly, it would occur to me that in canon, Hawkeye has - not that long before he was drafted - been dumped by a woman he had lived with for 18 months during an intense surgical residency: a woman who left him because (as far as we can tell from canon) she realised that Hawkeye was first of all committed to his work, and personal relationships were secondary.

Kellye - whom we've seen cheerfully flirt with Radar, Charles, and Hawkeye - complains that Hawkeye doesn't treat her the way he does women who are "5'9" and slinky with long blond hair and a perky little nose that would fit in a bottle cap" - women who look like Carlye Breslin.

You could, in short, write a perfectly good saga of Hawkeye at the 4077th who is, throughout the war, still in the process of getting over Carlye - a process interrupted and delayed by the fact of still being in surgical residency, getting drafted, meeting Carlye again at the 4077th after they'd broken up and discovering she'd got married, having a brief affair with her and getting dumped again.

It is entirely possible to make a case for 1950 being the year that Hawkeye Pierce:

got dumped by Carlye Breslin

finished his surgical residency and passed his board qualifications for thoracic and general surgey

got drafted for the Korean War

was appointed Chief Surgeon of a MASH unit

turned 30

saw his best friend since fifth grade die on his table in OR

It's way more fun to write Hawkeye as a flamboyant pansexual who has never in his life wanted to marry and settle down until he falls for (depending which way your tastes incline) Trapper, Radar, BJ, Charles, Mulcahy, or Margaret.

But you could make a seriously good case for him being a surgical resident who was planning to marry Carlye Breslin once he got out of residency and had a proper job that paid enough money to support a wife and kids (this being the 1940s) and then 1950 hit and Hawkeye from 1950-1953 is in babbling recovery from the batshit year in which the woman he thought he was going to marry dumped him, he got drafted, and a man he'd been friends with since they were ten years old died with Hawkeye's hands literally inside him trying to keep him alive. Onnce out of Korea and back in a normal job in a normal hospital Hawkeye meets a nice blonde nurse, gets married, settles down, has four kids, and occasionally thinks of his years in Korea with a bemused "did I really have sex with that many nurses? Good thing we had rubbers."

In that scenario, Hawkeye's multiple comments about BJ's happy marriage are both envious and wistful, because Hawkeye would give anything if that was him - if he'd had time to get out of residency, propose to Carlye, get married, get her pregnant, and have a wife and kid at home to go home to.

And if I were going to write that story, I'd probably have Hawkeye end up with Kellye.

But I'm not. Still, it is - done well - as appealling to me as the thought of some good Mulder/Scully fanfic was when I was first watching the X-Files, because Carlye's decision in 1950 to ditch Hawkeye, not because she (then) wanted to get married to someone else, but because she was clear-sighted enough to see that Hawkeye was never going to put her first in his life even if the first-of-all was not another person but a commitment to his vocation as a surgeon. Carlye is, like Tommy, incredibly convincing as a one-off character who we're meant to believe is important to Hawkeye: and her actions as we know them from canon are of a woman with a tremendous sense of self-respect and self-worth.

Hawkeye in Welcome to Korea is like "me? haha no I will never get married! I will settle down when pigs fly!" and then in The More I See You his ex shows up and he's like oh yeah we lived together for over a year and BJ is like "until you broke up with her?" and Hawkeye is like "yes exactly except for the part where she broke up with me and I am very much over it except for the part where I'm not over it at all."