#bizarre choice. we have so many characters to keep track of you should not be confusing my ability to follow them

[thatrandombystander]

Just got back from watching a production of Les Mis and yeah man to love another person really is to see the face of God 😭😭😭

[mdhwrites]

what's your opinion on how toh handled the detention track kids (viney, jerbo, barcus) in general

WHY WASN'T VINEY A MAIN SUPPORTING CHARACTER!? JUST WHY!?

I'll get into that point soon for the why but first: Jerbo and Barcus are just nothing to me. Not that I don't like them but they are the supporting cast to a one off character who managed to show up a second time. They're not going to get a lot of time to leave an impression, let alone to have some deep amount of personality. I think Barcus has some good jokes though and Jerbo is a good stooge to go alongside Viney's confidence.

But the trio is really defined by Viney. She is their leader, does the majority of the talking and is the one to make the major choices for them. Is that a bad thing? It could be... If Viney wasn't just so great. She has a shockingly firm personality despite such little time. She has loyalty and treasures it in turn but with a jaded edge that keeps up a barrier between her and others. You have to prove you're worth the effort but once you do, you're in for life. She'd be great as a leader of a band of thieves like that. She backs that up with a great ability to be two faced and use that for dryer, meaner comedy that is genuinely about character interplay and can easily mess with more innocent characters. Meanwhile, she'd probably have a hard time taking it back allowing for interesting back and forths.

In other words, she is a character the main cast was DESPERATELY in need of just personality wise. Everyone is either too nice to make jokes with others or too mean and not in an interplay way. It's just "I'm going to be an asshole right now," not "I'm going to mess with you a little." Some of the best lines I remember of the show come from that sort of teasing, like "Are you going soft on me, Blight?" There is way too little of it though.

But of course there's also just the fact that she provides a counterbalance narratively that also really should have been present in the show. See, the main cast only has two modes: Entirely wild and wanting nothing to do with the regime (Luz and Eda) or propping up that Belos is 100% right because if we even try to use other types of magic than the one we do, we practically can't do magic (Amity, Willow and Gus.) Now, the contrast is good on those two fronts but Viney just highlights a critical weakness of the show.

No one is actually even handed. It's either pure establishment or pure anarchy. Viney meanwhile WANTS to be a part of Belos society but wants the freedom to do more. To at least be allowed to try and expand her horizons. That allows for SO MANY interesting plots that could revolve around differences of opinion, pulling her back and forth, expanding on the world and how its systems work instead of just a black and white question.

But even above that: We'd have someone who ACTUALLY MIXES MAGICS. Now yes, beast keeping and healing are... Awkward to mix, to put it mildly, to the point where Viney doesn't even try. Hell, when she's put on the Flyer Derby team, she's praised for being a great healer... Which is the track people tried to force her to do as her only track. Puddles is purely there for flavor. It kind of discredits her whole choice to have multi-tracked because even other people only want her for one track. BUT if the show had actually tried, they could have genuinely shown how the two make for stronger magic. You know, actually support Eda and Luz's thesis as their only argument in the show is just that knowing a lot of magic is cool. For what purpose? To be cool! What other reason do you need? (That's sarcasm btw.)

She's just bizarrely a character who is almost impossible to ignore as just a good addition to potentially not even the main supporting cast but just MAIN CAST. Hell, if TOH admitted it was a romance, I could easily have seen Luz, Amity and Viney forming a love triangle where Viney is pulling Luz more towards rebellion while Amity, who's parents profit so much off of Belos' world and only uses one type of magic, is more about the establishment and the good it brings them. Just some sort of push and pull that is COMPLETELY absent from the show.

Then again, it would have had to, you know, actually commit to its worldbuilding or ever question if Luz's mindset is actually correct beyond the second episode. It would inherently be more complex and actually have to focus on its story. That's not surprising either because of what Viney inherently is.

She is a wild witch and the show cannot keep wild witches around without actually admitting the Isles is either a complete sham where Belos has no power (not that it doesn't feel that way already) or isn't some idealic, basic bitch fantasy world for Luz to never want to leave. Since neither is an option, Viney shows up for an episode that shoots taking the coven system seriously in the foot, and will be finished off in Reaching Out, while abstractly dissing modern education systems and then exits stage right so she doesn't cause more of a fuss. Yes, technically she comes back later but just as a body for the Grudgby team people might recognize, not to explore her character or issues.

Same could be said for Jerbo and Barcus. A good element that TOH barely uses and wastes all their potential because it's not actually interested in telling its own story.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[taglegend]

Tag Fact #3 -  I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her. 

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.

[panharmonium]

next round of in-progress naruto thoughts under the cut!  we started season 12 finally and we’re only like ten episodes into it but i have already experienced the most stressful moment of my life so.  lots to scream about.

[spoiler policy disclaimer first, as always: I am watching naruto for the first time and have only gotten a partway into season 12.  i am trying to avoid spoilers, so please don’t interact with this (tags included, because the notifications now show them to me automatically) with any spoilery commentary, including even general things like “oh i love this show but it gets less good after X point” or “X season is better than Y season” or any general assessments of quality/likability/etc re: future seasons.  Thank you! <3 ]

- the amount of information dumped on us in the first half of this season is SO MUCH!!!!  i don’t remember any of it!  i can’t keep it straight!  we met kushina and did the entire nine-tails attack backstory and all that stuff about the land of eddies and the previous nine-tails jinchuriki (which, UH....yikes), and then a bunch of very confusing information about the sage of the six paths (we still don’t even know what that title MEANS) and some kind of special/complementary creation powers inherent to the senju and uchiha clans that apparently were used to create the tailed beasts from the ten-tails, and then all these references to other things like....madara fighting the first hokage to acquire his powers?  madara giving nagato the rinnegan (...how?)  nagato being an uzumaki??  and then we get dumped into the actual formation of the allied shinobi forces and how they’re organized and that in itself it a lot for me to keep straight........so many characters...i still don’t know half their names....i feel like i need to rewatch the entire first half of this season just to try to absorb all of this information again

- i can’t believe this show actually gave one of the mothers a personality.  shocking.  

- re: above - i liked kushina a lot.  but can i just say, while we’re on the subject, how FUCKED UP her entire story is???????  the hidden leaf administration......imported a child........to make her the nine-tails jinchuriki......a fate in which she had no say.....that’s.........abhorrently fucked up.  i thought we’d reached the limit of “how evil is this administration actually” but i guess not

- relatedly, i still feel like.......weird about minato’s choices?  not really sure where i stand on that one yet.  like...they kind of make us assume up until these episodes that minato HAD to use the reaper death seal and sacrifice his own life in order to stop the nine-tails, but now we know that’s not even the case.  kushina was going to take the nine-tails down with her.  minato didn’t actually have to die, and kushina didn’t want him to.  she didn’t want to make naruto the jinchuriki, and she didn’t want him to grow up without any parents.  and it’s not like her original plan would have been a permanent solution for everyone; minato says the nine-tails will just reemerge someday if they don’t seal it inside someone now, but still.  i dunno.  

it’s not like an EVIL choice.  i get what he’s saying.  i just don’t know how i feel about it.  minato on the whole has just been a character that i haven’t quite figured out how to connect with - i don’t dislike him, and i WANT to like him more than i already do, but even back at the end of the kakashi chronicles his vibe just felt a little weird to me.  a little...detached.  i dunno if i’m just like...wanting him to be something other than what he is, because the show builds him up so much as the ideal?  but then he doesn’t quite match what i envision.  

he’s not BAD in any way.  i just keep wanting him to be...warmer, or something, and maybe that’s just not who he is.

- i was bizarrely fond of young!Killer Bee.  the way he was just such an optimistic kid who never let anything get him down...he’s kinda like naruto in that way.

- and i had a Very strong reaction to that moment where motoi apologizes for trying to kill Bee that one time and Bee’s smiling response is “you know, i don’t remember that happening.”  that was, uh.....you can definitely feel what they’re getting at with that.  

honestly, the second half of this show is doing a lot with radical forgiveness/compassion and that is one of my BIGGEST thematic weaknesses, so i’m prepared to continue getting punched with it.

- KISAME LMAOOOO.  man, i’m gonna miss him.  i guess if you’ve gotta go out, feeding yourself to your own sharks is one way to do it.  

- i loved that flashback to kisame meeting itachi lol.  they have a brief tense moment and then kisame literally is just ‘lets be friends and have some fun’ and he’s not SERIOUS obviously; it’s meant in a ‘let’s just not make waves here so we can get our work done,’ but then it’s hilarious because the two of them literally never argue again.  they’re the only two akatsuki members who actually get along XD

- KONAN OMG.  ;________;  

- how fucking badass do you have to be to pull off that move though.�� six hundred billion paper bombs???  six hundred BILLION?????????

- i was EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED by the sudden jiraiya flashbacks and his little froggy tile system for keeping track of the children, oh my god.  that was...no.

- loved naruto telling the nine-tails “i’m sorry...i won’t do wrong by you...just hang in there for a while longer”.......i loved that.  (see again: radical compassion)

- how DARE they use the reanimation jutsu on asuma.  how DARE THEY.  

- i....really can’t imagine that sasuke is gonna be cool with them using itachi’s dead body like that.  like i know he can’t see that they’re doing it right now, but those bandages have gotta come off at some point, right? 

- definitely Did Not Like kabuto saying that he also reanimated “other shinobi of significance”...that really just leaves the door wiiiiide open and that is a stressful feeling

okay now the main event -

WHEN KABUTO SAID HE WANTED YAMATO FOR HIS EXPERIMENTS I STARTED FULL-ON SCREAMING THREATS AT THE TV (@PADMERRIE WAS THERE SHE CAN CONFIRM)

AND THEN THE VERY NEXT EPISODE KABUTO SWALLOWED HIM AND SLITHERED AWAY AND NOW YAMATO IS CAPTURED AND BEING EXPERIMENTED ON AND/OR USED LIKE A FUCKING...DNA BANK OR CHAKRA RESERVE FOR MADARA’S PLANT ARMY OR SOEMTHING AND IT’S HORRIBLE AND I WANTED TO CRY THE WHOLE TIME

you guys i cannot emphasize enough how upset i am about yamato being trapped in kabuto’s clutches i was clutching a blankie the whole time we were watching and i cannot stop thinking about it even into today; i am just sobbing on the inside

one of this show’s recurring themes is the whole “treating people as if they’re nothing more than weapons/tools to be exploited is bad actually; maybe we should stop doing that” (eg the cultural view of shinobi, the jinchuriki, the hyuga clan’s curse marks, all of orochimaru’s “projects” [kimimaro, taka, etc]), and yamato is another victim of that - we’ve barely gotten any details about his history yet but we do know that he was originally one of orochimaru’s experiments and i just cannot STAND the thought of him being back in the hands of those fucking people.  i cannot stand the thought of him being tortured and stripped down and experimented on.  the idea of him being trapped in this dehumanizing position again is KILLING ME INSIDE.  i need kakashi to break in there and rescue him YESTERDAY.

[lynneshobbydomain]

Rainy Hangout (KomaHinaNanami Week Day 3)

((Thank you so much for your support, likes and reblogs. I appreciate all of you! Thank you to KomaHinaNanami Week for hosting the event!)

Prompt: Soft/Domestic

Rated: G

Summary: Hajime enjoys spending time with his two favorite people, even if it’s just to be their personal pillow.

The rain sounded like the ocean as the rain cascaded down the window. Thunder rumbled faintly and echoed in their home. Chiaki’s Switch drowned out the noise as well as her soft murmurs of encouragement to her character that was playing on the screen. She was leaning against Hajime’s legs, effectively cutting off circulation, but Hajime didn’t care. Next to him, Nagito was curled against his side, his soft breathing telling them both that he was in a deep slumber. They were curled up together in the living room with piles of blankets and pillows up against them. The soft blue-light cast the room in an ethereal glow that kept them apart from the world outside. The storm barely making Hajime bat an eye, even as the lights flickered dangerously. It would be Nagito’s luck if Chiaki couldn’t save her game in time as the power went out. 

Hajime pulled Nagito close to him and carefully tucked the blanket around them a little tighter. He looked down to see Chiaki’s determined gaze still hyperfocused on the screen before her. Her fingers danced across the control pad without hesitance. He thought about getting up and tidying the place up a little. Hajime came home from work more exhausted than he had been the past few days. All three of them agreed to pizza, which the box was now strewn across the floor, along with the many cans of Dr. Hopper, energy drinks, and empty bottles of orange juice. The paper plates they used were still on the table, ready to be tossed. 

He was too comfortable with Chiaki up against his legs, and Nagito curled around his side. He could ask them to move. Hajime wasn’t shy when he wanted to get up and get moving. However, exhaustion seeped into his bones, and he found that the comforting weight between his two lovers was enough to lull his mind into peaceful thoughtlessness. 

“How long have you been playing?” Hajime had to be the voice of reason somewhere. They couldn’t sleep on the couch like this. It would hurt all of them later, and Chiaki would be burnt out tomorrow when she had to get up to stream. 

“Hm a few hours,” Chiaki commented. “Maybe a bit longer than that. I wasn’t keeping track. I took a couple of breaks because Nagito wanted to go for a walk and didn’t want to go alone.”

“We should quit soon, and clean up so we can go to sleep.” Hajime hoped that it would be enough of a hint. 

“In a little bit, I want to finish this level and get to a save point before I do anything else.” Chiaki’s voice softened as she continued to play, not once taking her gaze off of the screen. “Is Nagito heavy?”

“A little. I don’t want to wake him up. He seems to need the rest.” Hajime replied quietly as he once more adjusted the blankets around him and Nagito, trying to keep the frail boy warm. Out of both of them, Nagito was the one that could grow cold in an instant. There was a reason why he wore his jacket even during the hottest summer days. The thunder rumbled again, and Hajime yawned. “I’m going to get up and put him to sleep.”

“Are you coming back down here, or are you staying?” Chiaki asked.

Hajime weighed his choices and knew that if he went to sleep, Chiaki would stay up for the rest of the night. He looked around at the mess again and sighed. “I’ll come back, I promise.”

“Okay.” Chiaki scooted to the side, freeing Hajime’s legs and allowing him to get up. He didn’t realize that his legs went numb as he stood up, carefully grabbing Nagito and pulling him into his arms. Nagito curled into his chest, nuzzling his collarbone before settling in Hajime’s arms again. Hajime swallowed thickly as he felt a blush go up to his cheeks and to his ears. He adjusted Nagito’s body in response before heading towards their room.

If their bedrooms said anything, it was how bizarre they were. There was a bed that was a bit of a tight fit, but they managed to squeeze in together. Posters were hanging on the wall of favorite bands and video games that all of them enjoyed. There were a couple of bookshelves filled with cheat codes and leisure novels. There were was a desk that was basically a handheld charging station. The bedside tables were the only ones that had an alarm clock and a place for their phones.

 Nagito liked to sleep near the door, so Hajime placed him down. He helped the boy get undressed and got him into more comfortable clothing before pulling the covers back over his shoulders. He brushed Nagito’s hair away from his face and pressed a soft kiss against his forehead before going back to the living room.

The living room was completely dark. Hajime could see Chiaki’s silhouette moving around in the abyss of darkness as she seemed to be doing something. Hajime felt along the wall, and his fingers touched the Switch. Flicking it up, he saw that Chiaki was attempting to try to clean the mess around the couch and table. She winced, dropping her pile as she rubbed her eyes.

“Sorry. I didn’t know what you were doing.” Hajime winced as the bright light hit his own eyes hard. He walked out into the living room and started to help Chiaki. Quietly they picked up the trash and tossed it into the bin and sorted the recycling for tomorrow. Hajime damped cloth and wiped down the small table that they had as Chiaki folded the blankets and straightened the couch pillows. 

Once everything looked good, Hajime grinned and turned, about to tell Chiaki his gratitude when he saw her head nod forward, already asleep. Drool dripped from the corner of her mouth as she nodded off. Hajime quickly caught her into his arms, worried that she would suddenly launch herself forward. Sighing softly, he adjusted his hold and headed back towards the bedroom, turning off the living room light in the process. 

He laid Chiaki down, grateful that she was in her pajamas already, and got into his own. The moment he climbed into bed, he snuggled against Chiaki. He felt Nagito respond by doing the same since she slept between them.

“Goodnight, you two.” Hajime murmured quietly into the darkness. 

[aion-rsa]

Bo Burnham: Inside Songs Ranked from Worst to Best

https://ift.tt/2JMbiJl

The musical of the summer was supposed to be a life-affirming celebration of one of New York’s most vibrant neighborhoods, full of color, romance, and big group dance numbers. Instead for many viewers, the musical of the moment was filmed and performed by one man, alone in isolation from the comfort (or discomfort, really) of his own home, with songs centered on techno paranoia, mental health, and the fear of aging. Maybe after a year stuck in their homes, audiences could relate to the existential dread and general anxiety on display in Bo Burnham: Inside more than a conventional movie musical.

Billed as a stand-up special, Burnham’s latest musical comedy endeavor finds the former wunderkind holed up and feeling more uncomfortable than ever. Writing, editing, directing, and performing from a claustrophobic studio, Burnham’s stand-up special skews more toward being a straight-up musical, and not because the special is light on jokes and missing an audience. Rather this has all the hallmarks of a musical narrative and plays closer to experimental cinema than sketch comedy.

Burnham expresses his characters’ inner-thoughts, fears, and desires via song throughout a contained narrative, in this case the narrative being one man trying to occupy himself during a pandemic. It has ballads, charm songs, comedy numbers, “I Am” and “I Want” songs, and a big reprise. By capturing his personal pandemic experience and putting the whole affair to song, Burnham has created one of the most compelling (and catchy!) accounts of life during 2020.

To celebrate the musical that we all needed after a year in our homes, we’ve decided to rank every song from Bo Burnham: Inside. You can stream along via the Inside (The Songs) album on the streaming platform of your choice.

20. I Don’t Wanna Know

Merely an interlude, “I Don’t Wanna Know” doesn’t quite work outside of watching the special itself. However, it is a clever way to address the fact that modern audiences do not have the attention span to sit through a film at home without checking their phone or complaining about a runtime.

19. Bezos II

While certainly meant to poke fun at the real-life Lex Luthor, it’s not that fun to listen to Bezos’ name repeated. Stil, Burnham does elicit a few laughs with his over-the-top mock congratulations. “You did it!”

18. Any Day Now

A Sesame Street-like mantra that plays over the credits, “Any Day Now” suggests this could all end either hopefully soon or on a depressingly vague far-off date that will never come. We’d like to think it’s the former, but it’s safe to assume what Bo thinks.

17. All Time Low

While this number gets docked points for its short runtime, it absolutely packs a punch with its four-line, single verse. After Bo admits that his mental health is rapidly deteriorating, he describes what it’s like to have a panic attack set to a chipper ‘80s dance backbeat. Unfortunately, we don’t get to ride the wave long enough, and judging lyrics, that’s probably a good thing for Bo.

16. Content

This strong opening number musically sets the vibe for Inside, letting us know that we’re in for some synth-heavy throwback beats that would be best listened to underneath a disco ball.  Also incorporating silly backing vocals, a hallmark of many of Inside’s best tracks, Burnham declares he’s back with some sweet, sweet content. “Daddy made you your favorite,” he sings, and he ain’t wrong. 

15. Bezos I

Unlike the reprise in “Bezos II,” “Bezos I” gets by off its increasingly deranged energy, with Burnham roasting fellow tech billionaires and working himself up into a manic frenzy by song’s end. Musically, it sounds like the soundtrack to an intense boss battle on a Sega Genesis game before ending with a sick little synth solo and Burnham hilarious squawking. It’s arguably the only acceptable thing that Bezos has ever been associated with.

14. Unpaid Intern

While “Unpaid Intern” is one of Inside’s shortest tracks, it absolutely makes the most of its time. The jazzy tune scorches the exploitative nature of unpaid internships before Burnham breaks out into a laugh-out-loud worthy scat routine. It unfortunately ends too soon.

13. Shit

Inside’s funkiest jam sounds like Burnham wrote the lyrics for a new Janelle Moane album cut. Bo show’s off his vocal dexterity and plumbs the depths of his depression in a surprisingly danceable fashion. Throwing in a little faux crowd interaction helps bring home the fact that we have all felt like this at one point or another during the pandemic.

12. Sexting

This slow-jam details the complications of sexting, throwing out hilariously too-true punchlines like “the flash makes my dick look frightened.” “Sexting” feels like one of a few songs that could most easily appear on previous Burnham specials. Proving that Inside’s musical textures do not come exclusively from ’80s synth pop, the outro of the song expertly mirrors modern pop trends by throwing in some trap-influenced “yahs” at the end of Bo’s lines.

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11. How the World Works

Influenced by comedian Hans Teeuwen and children’s entertainment in general, “How the World Works” finds Burnham going back to the well by playing the ignorant, smarmy white guy who is oblivious of the real issues plaguing nonwhite Americans. What’s even better though is Socko calling Burnham out on forcing others to educate him for his own self-actualization instead of doing the work on his own for the betterment of others.

Socko pointedly asks “Why do you rich f—— white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?” Not to keep things too heavy, the song ends with an absurdist bit where Burnham returns Socko to the nether place that he goes when he’s not attached to Burnham’s hand. Scathing and bizarre, it’s a great piece of social commentary. 

10. FaceTime With My Mom

While most of the music of Inside feels directly transported from the 1980s, “FaceTime With My Mom” seems only inspired by the past decade’s musical trends, updating the sounds in much of the same way that the Weeknd and Dua Lipa have. This is Bo Burnham as a hitmaker, and his attempt is convincing. “FaceTime With My Mom” earns easy laughs by getting to the seemingly specific, yet universal things that all our moms do over video chat. 

9. Goodbye

Every good musical needs a good closing track, and Burnham nails it with “Goodbye,” pulling off a reprise that weaves in many of the special’s signature musical moments and touches on the special’s core themes. A forlorn piano ballad before it soars through Inside’s best motifs, “Goodbye” caps a triumphant musical achievement, coming back to “Look Who’s Inside Again” just to punch you in the gut one last time. 

8. Problematic

Addressing his past work and some aspects that have not aged well, while also skewering celebrity apologies, “Problematic” is self-aware critique by way of an ‘80s workout bop. From the specific Aladdin confession to the overall apology for being “vaguely shitty,” Bo has never made accountability sound so good.

7. That Funny Feeling

This is Bo Burnham’s version of Father John Misty’s “Holy Shit,” a laundry list of all the stupid things that are signaling the fall of culture and civilization as we know it. If Misty hadn’t gotten there first, we may have had this one ranked higher. Still, Burnham manages to come up with a sticky chorus that you’ll be humming the next time something makes you feel like you’re living in the uncanny valley.

6. White Woman’s Instagram

Perhaps the special’s most playful moment, “White Woman’s Instagram” uses the musical cues of an inspiring empowerment anthem to poke fun at the predictably, perfectly curated feed of a “girl boss” Instagram. The song is greatly enhanced by the accompanying visuals, which find Bo recreating the meticulously staged and glamorous portraits that women pass off as their everyday lives.

However, Bo always likes to sneak in some sentimentality, and imagines a genuinely heartfelt post to his white woman character’s deceased mother. Don’t worry, the emotional moment doesn’t overstay its welcome, and we’re soon back to laughing at horribly derivative political street art.

5. All Eyes on Me

The droning synth and pitch-down vocals make “All Eyes On Me” oddly hypnotic and beautiful. The song seems to be addressing Bo’s depression along with his need for validation and attention, a juxtaposition that many performers deal with. It becomes clear that Burnham isn’t addressing an invisible audience, but himself, trying to will himself up and out of his dreary mental state.

4.  Look Who’s Inside Again

A classic “I Am” musical song, “Look Who’s Inside Again” just may be Inside’s most emotionally resonant track that seems to hit closest to who Bo Burnham was and who he is today. This is the song that I will most likely regret the most for ranking so low.

“Well, well, look who’s inside again. Went out to look for a reason to hide again,” perfectly describes the cycle of depression and will, for me, be the special’s most lasting moment. The downbeat ending “come out with your hands up, we’ve got you surrounded” is heartbreaking enough to send a shudder down your spine.

3. Comedy

The special’s real first number is absolutely packed with hooks, from the “Call me and I’ll tell you a joke” bridge to the “Should I be joking at a time like this?” change-up. This is Bo really flexing how far he’s come as a musician, expertly utilizing autotune and a key change (us “stupid motherf***ers” can’t resist them).

“Comedy” also finds Bo comfortably in the lane that we’re most used to seeing him in, playing the egomaniacal white messiah with a wink. “Comedy” is the tone-setter and it’s so good that it lets you know that you’re in good hands for the next hour plus.

2. 30

Either I’m ranking this song too highly due to its personally relatable nature or the fact that I haven’t been able to get “All my stupid friends are having stupid children” out of my head, but I really don’t care. “30” is Inside’s biggest earworm and addresses the existential terror that comes with no longer getting pats on the back for being a young wunderkind.

“30” also examines generational differences, showing how 30 year-old people are more infantile than ever. However, at the end of the day it all comes back to those shimmering keys and that irresistible refrain. Apologies to my friends with children.

1. Welcome to the Internet

No matter how deep and emotionally rich some of Inside’s other tracks may be, “Welcome to the Internet” is the one that will live on the longest. If this were a traditional musical, this would the antagonists’ showstopper; a vaudevillian romp through the alluring chaos that is the internet. Speeding up and slowing down the pace to mirror the manic, addictive nature of surfing the net, Burnham pitches the negative aspects of online culture as they are: a feature, not a bug. Promising “a little bit of everything all of the time,” “Welcome to the Internet” is almost as enticing as the dark tool itself.

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[gascon-en-exil]

Joining the Game Late: S8E4 “The Last of the Starks”

Synopsis

Everyone pays tribute to the last episode’s named dead. Gendry gets legitimized but strikes out with Arya, Tyrion still sucks at being consoling, Bran is still cryptic, and Tormund gets cuddly with Jon much to Dany’s displeasure. The writers trip on the finish line with Sansa’s rape subplot. Brienne loses her virginity to a drunken one night stands that means less than it looks like. Jon can’t get laid because his aunt his jealous of him. Tyrion wants to starve out King’s Landing, while Varys just wants to murder Daenerys because of Jon’s cock. The Stark sisters learn about Jon; Arya sets off for one last revenge killing spree while Sansa shares her sedition plans with Tyrion. Bronn threatens the Lannister brothers for a raise. Jon wants to go north with Tormund but gives his boyfriend custody of Ghost instead, and also Gilly’s pregnant with a non-incest baby. The Iron Fleet attack and take down Dany’s other extra dragon and kidnap her BFF - and no one else, apparently. The people of King’s Landing are good little human shields and trust Cersei now. There are tense negotiations, featuring a beheading and a kill command that will become extremely relevant soon.

Commentary

Alas, the infamous Starbucks cup must have been edited out of home releases. (Un)fortunately the various ways in which this episode starts to derail can’t be removed so easily.

That’s not to say that I can’t see what the writers were aiming for with some of their more controversial choices. Jaime sleeps with Brienne on a drunken impulse, so his decision to leave her to run back to Cersei is less completely inexplicable than I thought it was going to be (plus, I’ve been kind of tracking this since Season 3 as you know). Sansa’s terrible comment apparently confirming that Ramsay was right that he’d always be a part of her is slightly - and I do mean slightly - tempered by a line from Daenerys indicating how Sansa has been hardened by her trauma. This line is delivered to Jon and not followed up on so its overall value is questionable, but at least the showrunners have remembered that in their continuity Dany is also a victim of marital rape and thus has something in common with her rival, both women who’ve found the strength to become leaders in response to the horrific circumstances visited upon them by men they trusted. Arya circling back around to a Lannister-esque familial loyalty makes sense for her specifically, as she’s always been a lone wolf (pun somewhat intended) with little need for many allies or social niceties - and related to that, I do like how she turns down Gendry’s marriage proposal, returning to her recurring “It’s not me” line. Hell, I even get why Tormund has a stupid little thing for Brienne that goes nowhere, because otherwise he’d just be looking gayer and gayer these past two seasons to the point that you’d expect him and Jon to be doing a lot more than hugging when it’s time for them to bid each other farewell. I call the subtext like I see it and the ending vindicates me on this, ha.

Even so, it’s easy to see where the show is just stumbling to reach a somewhat coherent endpoint. How is it that Missandei is the only person captured in the Iron Fleet’s attack? What was the point of killing her only as an unnecessary demonstration that Cersei is shortsighted and violent when she feels threatened, except to set up Dany’s big breakdown in the next episode? Are the people of King’s Landing so xenophobic that they’d take up Cersei’s invitation to hole up in the Red Keep as protection from Daenerys’s armies? Why does Tyrion attempt yet again to act as though Cersei’s pregnancy will motivate her to avoid bloodshed, as if the show hadn’t previously delved into how her maternal feelings derive primarily into how she views her children as an extension of herself? What the hell is Varys -

Ok, Varys deserves a paragraph on his own. I’m not sure I’ve ever talked much about him in any detail; he’s not an easy character to get a handle on, nor he is a personal favorite. Tyrion pokes at that very opacity here by asking Varys what he means when he says he acts in the interests of “the realm,” particularly as doing so has led to him betraying several of the rulers he’d previously advised and has him now plotting to assassinate Daenerys and raise up Jon in her place. Varys has a point that Jon is bizarrely the more charismatic of the two, and also that it’s an unfortunate reality of the patriarchy they live in that Jon’s claim to the throne would be more accepted by the lords of Westeros than Dany’s would. At the same time though his philosophy about choosing a ruler who doesn’t want to rule is asinine - didn’t they already go through this with Robert Baratheon, who was a fantastic warrior and a fantastically disinterested king? - and furthermore it’s not like he even really knows Jon apart from what Tyrion and others have told him about the man. I don’t even buy that this supposed incredible leadership quality is something that we the audience should be able to see in Jon, because based on everything he’s done across GoT’s entire run I don’t get that impression at all. Whenever he’s been put in charge of anything his knack for heroically dumb behavior has gotten him all manner of insubordination up to and including an assassination. That doesn’t inspire me with confidence, and I’m glad the show avoids putting him on any throne in the end, but why is Varys so ready to betray his queen and get burned alive?

Ah, well. It really is rushing to that ending that explains a lot of this. I’ve got the urge to do the same, just to be done with it.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

ALL (supervillain laugh) take your time tho :D

Oh no WHY alright I submit *sighs, shakes my head, and briefly regrets all my life choices*

here we go! (#9 and #19 are pending specific opera submissions)

I wrote an overly long post here in response to this question a while back

Don Carlo!!!

Just started Halka. Not very far in, but I’m liking it so far.

In full, Cavalleria rusticana (yesterday)

Die tote Stadt (specifically the one recording conducted by Erich Leinsdorf)

Sopranos, with baritones in a very close second.

I will keep advocating for a Belle Époque Simon Boccanegra until it actually happens. Also Paris Commune Le prophète.

*see the 2017 Paris Opéra cast, except very reluctantly swap in Furlanetto for Abdrazakov*

pending submission of a specific opera

really tough...the ROH 1985 one was my first, so it may be my favorite for sentimental reasons, although I also LOVE the current ROH/Met coproduction (with the exception of some details), the Salzburg 2013, and that Liège production from not too long ago

well, based on several factors (including roles I’ve played in musicals, choir assignments, and stuff from voice lessons in the past), I’ll say Poppea (Agrippina), Zerlina (Don Giovanni), and Urbain (Les Huguenots)

Yes, my answer is Don Carlo

Depending on the day, either ‘Dio, che nell’alma infondere’, ‘Nuit d’ivresse et d’extase infinie’, or ‘Ô ciel! où courez-vous?’

my HOMEGIRL Princess Éboli

any really good rendition of ‘Depuis le jour’. that aria SLAPS.

I’m cheating and doing a play instead BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT anyway we need Ibsen-based operas and I nominate Hedda Gabler with Sonya Yoncheva and Lisette Oropesa as Hedda and Thea there I said it if you want further casting ask me again later

I don’t know if there’s any one character I have the same personality as??? although I was recently told by someone else on here that my personality is a cross between Figaro and Marguerite de Valois so... make of that what you will (and tell me what you think!)

we all know my answer to this (it’s Carlo/Rodrigo)

also pending a specific opera submission

depends on...a lot of factors, but I adore both Jonas Kaufmann and José Carreras (he is the best of the Three Tenors; no, I am not accepting criticism at this time)

going with Carmen for the sake of argument here, definitely Carmen

...I am not a fan of Puccini’s Manon Lescaut

probably Die tote Stadt, which is seriously bizarre but incredibly amazing (possibly because of its inherent bizarreness?)

not sure if this is in reference to characters or singers; I’ll assume this is about characters and say (of course) Carlo/Rodrigo, with Marie/Tonio and Fenton/Nannetta very close behind.

Renato needs love and hugs and just deserves so much better (he just needs to learn to not be a Jealous Baritone Husband). Other than that drama, he has a proven track record of being a good friend.

waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy too many. for the sake of being concise, five I love: Callas, Popp, Benackova, Oropesa, Rebeka.

Verdi ❤️ no one else has written so many great operas I love so much over such a long period of time

waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy too many (again). first one that popped into my head just now was Sophie from Werther, so we’re gonna go with her.

Act III finale, La bohème.

how has there not been a good opera version of Twelfth Night? that is operatic comedy gold WAITING to happen

a) I hate these singer questions because I have way too many, and b) among many, many others, Milnes, Gobbi, Zancanaro, Keenlyside, and Tézier. 

I see a sweet trouser role, I adopt him. also Annina from La traviata deserves WAY more credit than she gets. love her to death.

since I try to be optimistic or at least neutral when going into a new opera, none

cannot gender swap names in my head at the moment, so Carlo becomes a standard mid-late Verdi soprano role, Elisabetta becomes a baritone (YOU THOUGHT SHE’D BE A TENOR BUT NOOOOO), Rodrigo is the Good Mezzo who gets the Basically Non-Existent Mezzo Death Scene, Éboli is a tenor, Filippo goes full dramatic mezzo, and the Grand Inquisitor becomes a nearly-impossible-to-sing contralto role with a few extremely powerful high notes thrown in because why not. Tebaldo remains a coloratura soprano.

slightly cheating, but Berlioz’s Les Troyens (not directly based on myth, but kinda?)

‘We really gotta hurry-‘ ‘But first, let’s sing about our feelings!’ or ‘death scene with lots of blood and sadness’ or ‘death by singing’ or party gone wrong (I’m a sucker for good opera tropes)

For baritones: Onegin, don’t go to the name day ball. Just don’t. For tenors: either Otello re: trusting Iago over Desdemona or...pretty much Hoffmann’s entire life.

Again, I hate these questions, but here are five anyway: Cossotto, Troyanos, DiDonato, Garanča, and Rachvelishvili.

FILIPPO (I would DIE to be able to play Filippo. also can I just say that bass and bass-baritone roles in (at least originally) French operas are...*chef’s kiss*.)

Éboli’s outfit in Act IV, Scene 1 of the 2017 Paris Don Carlos.

I really, really want to like Aida as much as everyone else seems to, but I still think that while the plot is good and the music is good, it somehow just doesn’t work and is also massively overrated.

so I don’t talk about Lucia di Lammermoor much but it’s awesome and the mad scene is one of my favorite things ever and ALSO THE OPERA SHOULD HAVE ENDED WITH THE MAD SCENE WHAT THE HELL CAMMARANO so yeah there’s that

well, I’ve been in love with Carmen since I was 7, so...

so many! Figaro seems like he’d be a pretty awesome BFF

Three words: Così. fan. tutte

La gioconda, which has okay music overall (although ‘Stella dal marinar’ is good and the Dance of the Hours is an absolute BOP) but I like the plot a lot better (imagine how it would have been if Verdi or even Boito wrote the music!). also ‘Cielo e mar’ is the third-most overrated tenor aria of all time and you can fight me on that.

way too many (again), but I gotta say it: especially in Verdi, Furlanetto simply cannot be beat.

so many ridiculous roles...you know what’s ridiculous? Hélène in Les veprês siciliennes. At least she gets a scene off, but other than that it’s *high notes* *low notes* *coloratura* *declamation over a huge orchestra and chorus* *sassing the French* *cadenza* *repeat for three hours*

I have been meaning to watch Boris Godunov in its entirety for a while and I WILL THIS WEEK (thanks, Met Opera!). Also literally any Wagner. I was going to see the Met HD of Höllander but you know what happened.

Tosca for tragedies, Barbiere di Siviglia for comedies, Don Giovanni for everyone. 

[douxreviews]

Supergirl - ‘The Quest for Peace’ Review

Red Daughter: You betrayed me. You betrayed Kaznia! Lex Luthor: What can I say? I’m proud to be an American.

Lex Luthor is back to steal the powers of aliens. And the show.

The season finale had a lot to do. It did most of it, with most characters ending up where we wanted them to be.

Last week I complained about a few things that were missing. How we never saw the invasion by Kaznia, nor Lex Luthor’s “rescue” of America. Well, they put that in, all set to Jon Cryer singing along with Frank Sinatra’s “I did it my way.” In fact, it went on a little too long, especially as acting within one of those space helmets, where all the directors can do is to show the head, is pretty limited. Singing, at least, was a different choice.

Last week I also hoped Red Daughter wasn’t dead. And she wasn’t! (Not yet. She dies during this episode, after apologizing to Kara, and her death seems to be real, as she turned into a mist.) Of course, the only reason Lex Luthor could even pretend to kill her (and announce to the world that he had killed Supergirl) was because he thought Red Daughter had killed the real Supergirl. Unlike my relief at Red Daughter being still among the breathing (but my relief was short-lived, as was Red Daughter), Lex Luthor was not at all pleased to discover that the original Supergirl is still alive. Actually, I was surprised that Lex’s discovery took as long in the episode as it did, given that Kara Danvers had written the story connecting Lex Luthor (and Lex knows that Kara=Supergirl). Everyone else was reading the expose, but not Lex Luthor? Doesn’t he have alerts for important stories with his name in it? Given how he is always so many steps ahead, how could he miss that? Later in the episode he castigates Red Daughter for being stupid/naïve/both when she didn’t do any research on him to realize that he hates all Kryptonians, yet he is as guilty himself.

We learn that Lex Luthor has been behind President Boxleitner Baker’s rise all along, explaining why President Baker has been such a jerk. Lex Luthor “invites” his mother and his half-sister to the Oval Office, and they had some interesting exchanges. Like Lex pointing out that he has finally cleared the family name by getting puppet Baker to pardon him (after the dead-once-more Otis left a note confessing to all the crimes that we know were committed by Lex). And Lex also pointing out that his family means a lot to him. This psychologically makes sense, as even if he hates his mother and his half-sister, they are his audience. The people to whom he wants to prove things. He couldn’t do that if they were dead, could they? Lena is hostile towards her half-brother, but Lillian is more accommodating, insisting that they share some polonium tea.

Lex Luthor is behind the rounding up of the aliens, where he has been siphoning off their extra powers for actual power. Like in turning-on-the-lights power, or using that power for weapons (it seems bizarre to me that you could use the same technology on all aliens, but it's a one-size-fits-all power siphoning device). Oddly enough they leave a few aliens out of the power-siphoning pods, for work, relying on the superpower dampeners surrounding Shelley Island to keep the aliens from creating trouble. The fact that they’re not trapped in pods gives some of our heroes (J'onn and Dreamer and some random aliens) the time and space in which to create a diversion. Which they do, first by fighting with each other, then with the guards, and then getting out so they can turn off the superpower dampeners and get an astral projection message to Brainy. So our unlocked-up heroes – James, Brainy, Supergirl and Alex – go to Shelley Island to rescue their friends and the rest of the aliens.

Before our heroes can enter the complex to rescue the aliens, they find themselves in a fight with Ben Lockwood and the Children of Liberty. Even though Ben Lockwood has learned that Lex Luthor, whom he despises, has been behind his own meteoric unbelievable rise to success, Lockwood still hates aliens and now that he’s souped-up with superpowers, is eager to take on Supergirl. It makes sense that Lockwood would not have a complete change of heart, and is satisfying, too, because we get to watch him go to prison when he’s defeated.

Brainy gets into the complex (our other heroes have other tasks) and the first priority is to turn off the machine that is about to annihilate Argo (which is where Superman and the rest of Supergirl’s family are). I loved the scene where Brainy realigns, and goes from telling them that the odds are poor, to being terrified for his friends (and the woman he loves) to encouraging them and telling them that they can indeed, do this. That is, use their psychic energy to overload the weapon that is being sent to destroy Argo.

Supergirl does some necessary fighting, and she gets to watch her clone die, but not before her clone apologizes for being wrong about, you know, everything. I don't really like it when a character is so (as Lex put it) stupid and/or naive. Supergirl thinks Lex is dead when he refuses to let her save him but drops to the ground. This is another logical problem with the episode: there’s no reason that Supergirl couldn’t have zipped down and gotten a better grip on him and stopped him from hitting the ground. He may have said he'd rather die, but you should never trust Lex Luthor.

Lena figures out that Lex didn’t die when he plummeted from the sky (how did he escape? teleportation?), so she comes to his lair to remedy the matter. She shoots Lex, at which point Lex (who doesn’t seem to be showing much pain or coughing up blood despite being shot) tells his half-sister that Kara is Supergirl. We have been waiting for Lena to learn the truth for several seasons now, and of course she learns it in the most uncomfortable way possible.

The writers put in many bits that can make us viewers content while we wait for Season 5. Kara declares that she can do anything with her sister at her side – this didn’t quite have the resonance that I wanted but I still appreciated it. Colonel Haley announces that Supergirl is welcome; Ben Lockwood in prison while his son George Lockwood is on TV, asking everyone, humans and aliens, to just get along. Alex and Kelly share their first kiss (saying that they’ve been through so much together, but I think this is the first time to see them share the screen in this episode), while Brainy and Nia walk by, hand-in-hand, which is especially sweet.

And we have some lovely teases for the next season. Lex Luthor may have not died (you don’t waste a good villain). Lena knows Kara=Supergirl, but Kara hasn’t told her yet. There’s some excitement for J’onn. And, the most delightful of all – Eve Tessmacher is being tracked by some group of beings, which explains why this brilliant blonde was such a fool for Lex. She was being compelled to for some other reason.

Title musings: “The Quest for Peace” is also the title of Superman IV, from the series with Christopher Reeve. As this is the end of the fourth season I guess it was why the writers chose that title. It seems strange to pay homage to Superman IV, as it was such a lousy movie. I suppose you can always say that Supergirl wants peace, she didn’t seem to really be on a quest for peace in this episode, but mostly in the mode of stopping the bad guys. I understand why the writers chose it, but the title’s not inspired or inspiring.

Bits and pieces

Very satisfying to see the traitorous President Boxleitner being thrown out by the application of the 25th amendment. We all know why it was satisfying.

So both Lillian (polonium in the tea) and Lena (gun) have tried to kill Lex. Maybe he won’t be so accommodating next time?

Quotes

President Baker: Not that I don’t trust the plan, but shouldn’t I be in a bunker somewhere?

Lex Luthor: From zero to President with a snap of my fingers. Are you seriously asking me if I’m sure about something?

Kara/Supergirl: I will not let fear win. And with my sister by my side, anything is possible.

Brainy: That is a rather strong emotional reaction for such an insignificant detail.

Lena: Your murderous son has duped the world into thinking he’s Earth’s hero. This is hardly Thanksgiving dinner.

Overall Rating

There was a lot in this episode to like, which is why this review goes on and on. But the episode also has spots where the logic was faulty, or where they are telling instead of showing. Three out of four cups of polonium-spiked tea.

Victoria Grossack loves math, Greek mythology, Jane Austen and great storytelling in many forms.

[talietikasero]

So I’ve been working on a fic for a couple of months, and I thought I’d put it here because this site killed off external links. Formatting might be a little funky

Set during the events of Tekken 7, combining parts from Anna and Steve’s character stories. Picking up from Steve’s T7 ending and mixing in the updated story of Anna’s wedding being crashed by Nina. The idea is a what-if with the possibility that the two of them are still at the cathedral. I haven’t been able to fully write chapter 1, but it’s still a work in progress. Here’s part of what I’ve got that I’m willing to share here. Italic text in parentheses are internal dialogue.

__________

 [“Come out! You can’t hide from us forever! We’ll find you!”]

“This was a mistake. I can’t keep this up.” 

“Whoever this kid is, he can’t take them all on by himself.” With a firm grip on the railing, she readied herself and leapt over, landing next to a pillar that was near the cover the man had found. “Hey, are you alright? You’re not looking too good.”

“What in the hell. Who are you?”

“(Play it cool. Make a good first impression.) Can’t you tell? I’m your guardian angel. (You just lied through your teeth.)”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you can’t be serious… I can’t really see that. You may be wearing the same colors, but I don’t think I can fully trust someone I literally just met when other people are trying to kill me. Especially someone dressed in something like that. It looks nice though.” 

“(He didn’t buy it.) Okay, okay. You got me. But I was about to ask you the same thing.” Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that a small stream of blood was trickling down. ”Are you, uh how do I put this. Are you sure you can keep fighting with that bullet in your left arm?”

“Shit! I didn’t even notice that.” He ran over to the pool and began to wash the blood off.

“Use the basin to wash it off. I think I have a small cloth you can use… to… clean it… or not. (Okay?) On second thought, maybe what you’re doing isn’t such a good idea.”

“They’ll get an unpleasant surprise for next time. What’ll happen? Satan is accidentally summoned?” He rinsed off what was left, leaving a trace amount in the water. “There, I think I stopped the bleeding. Where’s that thing you offered?”

“Here.” She took one of her pocket blades out and cut off an unconscious soldier’s uniform sleeve, noticing that there was a medical icon printed on it. “You managed to even take down their combat medic? You’re insane.” She tossed the cut cloth down and reached inside one of the uniform’s pouches to find an antibacterial gel packet, gloves, and a roll of gauze. “Hold out your arm. This isn’t the best idea, but it should help. Fair warning, this is probably going to sting. The best thing you can do is clean and dress your wound.”

“(Not letting my guard down just yet…) Thanks.”

“Do you have another shirt or a jacket?”

“Yeah, it’s on the staircase. Why?”

“Use your tank as a wrap.”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“It’s a trick I’ve used before. Just trust me.”

“(Do I really have a choice here since you’re really the only one I can somewhat trust?) Okay?” He walked to the stairs to retrieve his shirt and started to roll up the left sleeve. “Never really had to do this before, but it’s better than having you cut this off too.”

“Hey, I only do that to enemies and people I don’t like.”

“I could use some privacy. Please turn around.”

“Alright.” She faced the other way as he changed clothes. “Lucky you, there aren’t any more of those guys right now. How long have you been here anyway?”

“I lost track. An hour? Three? Time’s lost to me… Done. Could you tie this?”

“(I think I’ve seen this kid around before.) Loose or snug?”

“Somewhere in-between so it doesn’t fall off or constrict.”

“Like this?”

“Perfect.”

[“Hey! He’s over there! And looks like he has backup! Take her out too!”]

“Oh, come on!”

“There’s no time for introductions, we’ll pick this up after the fight’s over.”

“Got it, that is if you don’t leave first!”

___________

 “Nice work out there, kid. Now, what were you saying about ‘if I don’t leave first’?”

“The last woman in a dress I met here tried to kill me and ran off. By the looks of it, she crashed some wedding earlier.”

“Nina… That sister of mine is a bitch, I’ll give you that. She posed as me and assassinated who would’ve been my husband. Don’t know how or why everyone present didn’t know that it wasn’t me that walked down that aisle.”

“That explains the mess of bodies, blood, and broken glass back in the main hall. Wait, did you say she’s your ‘sister’?”

“Older by two years. Now that I think about it…” She studied the face before her, noting the striking similarities. “No, you can’t be. There’s no way you are-… (This is bizarre. Is he... her son?!)”

“(Oh my god?) Are we-?”

“Relatives?”

“Unbelievable. I’ve had a nephew this whole time?! I didn’t think anything of it, but were you part of-”

���If you’re going to end that question the way I think you are, the answer is yes. Unfortunately for me, I was. We can’t stay here. They’re going to send more after us.”

“Follow me. I know how to lose them. Start running!”

__________

[Chapter 2]

“There’s so many options. No wonder why this place is popular. That cherry tart looks good, but so does that strawberry one… ag Dia, I can’t decide.” Anna redirected her attention from the food display to see Steve more focused on the drinks than treats. “You look tired. Do you want something?”

“Anything would do. I’m not picky, so I’m fine with whatever you decide to get.” [New message received four minutes ago. “Hey, you’re still in Italy, right? My flight just landed.”] “I’m going to find a seat.”

“Two cappuccinos, espressos, cherry cream sodas, and cherry and strawberry tarts please.”

“Sure thing. Those’ll be right out.”

“Now, where did he go off to?” She took a quick look around, finding him seated on an armchair near the back, and made her way over. “We should be fine now that we blend in.” She checked her phone, with a text from Bruce waiting for her. [“Anna, where are you? I went to the cathedral and you weren’t there. Is everything alright? Please answer me.”] “Oh, good. He’s still in the country. ‘Bruce, don’t worry yourself. I’m still here, but in civilian clothes. Come to the café by our hotel.’”

Steve’s attention was fixed to his phone, reading and clearing the notifications. “‘Yeah. Wait, what are you doing here?’” [“Sightseeing. What else? You told me you were staying for a week or so.”] “’Oh, right. Uh, I’m at a café right between the airport and my hotel. Come meet me here.’” [“Got it. Give me a few minutes. I need to stop by the rentals.”] He looked up to see Anna seated across from him. “I appreciate the gesture, but you didn’t have to buy me a new outfit.”

“I gotta ask why the staff were pretty nice to you; it’s just like they met a celebrity. You don’t have to pay me back because it’s the least I could do after that stunt you pulled. You needed one since what you were wearing reeked of sweat and gunfire. It’s not often that I see someone take on the Force by themselves, let alone I help them. How’s your arm feeling?”

“To a level, I’m, uh, ‘famous’. It’s not as bad now but using my tank top as a temporary bandage wasn’t the worst solution. I’m pretty sure I’ve had worse injuries than this. Just that the main difference is I’m not in a café with a newly met family member and in a hospital. Though there was this one person I fought that gave me trouble…”

“It’s black. A little bit of blood is the least of your worries. A wash or two should do it. Would that work for your other shirt? Maybe, or maybe not. Although if it were on the chain print, it’d make a good rust effect.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind, but please don’t try to ruin my clothes for the sake of ‘art’.”

“Your orders miss.”

“Grazie mille.” As the waitress left, Anna opened a sugar packet to mix in. As she was stirring, she cracked a smile. “Just in case you end up losing it, I know a guy that can build you a robotic one.” The comment was enough to make Steve wince. “What? I can’t have a good laugh? I’m kidding about that.” She sipped some of her coffee. “It’ll take some time, but wounds heal.” Another sip, and she placed the cup back on the saucer. “Would you like to try semi-formal introductions? Or would you like to tell me what you were doing there? An Italian cathedral isn’t where I’d think to run into someone like you.”

“Introductions? I think I can do that, but do you think this is a good idea with all these people near us? Not to be that person, but there might be a spy. I don’t think we’ve got them off our tails just yet.”

“You’ve got a point…” She glanced around and noticed all the other patrons minding their own business. “This shouldn’t get anyone’s attention but think of it as an exercise. I’ll start.” She cleared her throat and held her hand out. The two shook hands as she began. “My name is Anna Williams. I’m 41, an experienced assassin trained in the styles of Koppojutsu and Aikido, and I’m the secretary / bodyguard of Kazuya Mishima.”

“That was a lot to take in… My name’s Steve Fox. I’m 21, the current world middleweight boxing champion, and a former human experiment created by the Mishima Zaibatsu intended to be a super soldier for the Force. How many times have you heard that line?”

A couple seated nearby overheard and looked to see who it was. “Is that who I think it is? That couldn’t be… You should look because that voice sounds familiar.”

“Oh my god, it is! He hasn’t been seen anywhere for a while, but what’re the chances we see him here? Who’s that lady with him? A bodyguard? She’s pretty fashionable.”

“Can’t tell... We could ask him for a photo or to sign something for us.”

Anna caught the conversation and made eye contact. “I think you’ve got fans here.”

“I can hear.” Steve turned around to speak to them. “Do you two have a notebook that I can autograph? I’m really not one for photos.” One reached into their backpack to take out a pen and journal and handed it to him. “And here you are.”

“Thanks! We’re sorry to bother, but it’s nice to see you’re still around!” The couple gathered their belongings and left.

“I stand corrected and take back my last statement.” She watched as the couple exited and rejoined what she believed to be their tour group. “That was weird. How often does that happen?”

“When I first got my title? Too many times that I couldn’t even step outside of my flat without being hounded. But now? Rarely.” He picked up a fork and took a piece of the strawberry tart. “Wow, that is really good. I try not to eat sweets or anything junky that often, but I’ll just work it off like nothing next time my partner and I train.”

“Once in a while isn’t that bad, but good for you about staying on top of what you consume. Besides, you’ve had a rough day and you’re technically on vacation. Anyway, so that’s what the mark is for. Incredible, your story’s something right out of a comic book. Here’s another question: how did you get out? It must’ve been someone inside.”

“Did you ever meet a Dr. Kliesen? She was the closest person I had to a guardian angel. The other ‘doctors’ kept calling me some code, but she gave me my name. I wonder if she’s still alive.”

“I can’t recall; however, I do know a Dr. Bosconovitch. Old man created the Jack series and that pink haired robot that what’s his name with the anime hairdo travels with. Aria? Anastasia? Alisa? Something starting with ‘A’. Cute as a button, but you’d think chainsaws on her arms are overkill.” Hearing the words “chainsaws” and “arms” in the same sentence caused another nearby patron to perk their ears up.

“What’s this about a girl with arm saws?”

“They’re probably talking about some cartoon character.”

“Son of a bitch.” Anna muttered under her breath. “You wouldn’t think they’d have brushed it off as that though.”

“I did try to tell you be careful of what you say.”

“At least I don’t have to try and teach you how to think like me; you do need to be aware of your surroundings, of which I clearly wasn’t but I caught it immediately.”

“Pretty sure I do already; there was a time where I was trying to stay under the radar. Back to your other question: I was there looking for an answer. I got much more than I expected, but-”

“You can tell me. I’m here to listen.”

“But-…”

“It’s okay with me if you’d rather not say anything. I won’t get mad if you stay silent, but I’ve learned from experience that it’s better not to bottle it up.”

“I fought the Force to let her get away.”

“…”

“The silence is deafening. You are mad, aren’t you?”

“Not at all.”

“I’ve been told I’m too nice at times, even to the point of letting something like that happen. Even if we’ve got a relation that I went in knowing she’d reject.”

“(Quick, say something reassuring to help him feel better.) You can’t really tell exactly what she’s thinking. The only relation you two have is a non-consenting one, if you can even call it that. You didn’t ask to be ‘born’, but she didn’t ask to be put into cryo-sleep either for close to twenty years.”

“Explains why we look roughly the same age. Were you put into sleep as well?”

“(Oh good, it worked?) I volunteered. She was forced. I was woken up first. Decided to fuck her memories up too for the fun of it.”

“You two really hate each other, huh?”

“She is responsible for our father’s death. All these years later and we’re still fighting on whose fault it really was. We learned how to fight from them; your grandfather taught us Koppo, and your grandmother was the best person to learn Aikido from, being a world champion and all. Mom and I had a close relationship…”

“…Is she still alive?”

“Neither of us know. I think I have something that’ll interest you, while we’re still here.” Reaching into her tote, she took out her work laptop and set it on the table. “The Zaibatsu has files on everyone who’ve participated in the tournaments.” She powered it on and entered her login info. “You, me, our friends, and even the dead.”

“T-the dead?”

“Oh yeah. For example, those men in jaguar masks. The names remain the same, but they’re not the ones from years past.” There was a Zaibatsu logo icon with the label [participants]. “Skimmed theirs and the armored one is the younger brother of the original; the other was an orphan the first took care of.” Anna typed the surnames “Fox” and “Kliesen” into the search bar; the latter returned one result for a “Leo”.

“Oh. I never would’ve guessed.”

“Here.” She rotated the screen towards him. “This one’s yours and I think I found the one for your guardian angel’s child. Says someone recently got to it.”

He tuned out the surrounding noise to focus. “Mostly everything’s correct. Nothing’s actually changed since the last time I checked this.” He scrolled for a few seconds until something caught his eye. “Oh, that’s new. They know that I destroyed that one lab.” [Last accessed 15:34:55, one month ago.} “(What the-…)” 

Anna raised one brow and tilted her head to the right. “That was you?”

“It was a while ago, but yeah.” He swapped over to the file labeled “L. Kliesen” and skipped to the “family” section. [Family: Mr. Kliesen (father, status unknown), Dr. Emma Kliesen (mother, deceased.)] Reading that one word listed next to presumably the last photo taken of her made his heart sink further down. Trying to prevent his voice from cracking, he muttered to himself. “’Deceased.’ That’s…”

[“Don’t worry. You’re going to be okay. Please remember that. I’m sorry, but I have to go.”]

“Are you alright?” She asked in a concerned tone.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to take any additional damage today, but here I am. She’s gone. The one person who treated me like a human is gone.” His face was blank, but she could sense the mixed repressed emotions.

“My apologies, but am I interrupting something?”

“Bruce? What are you doing here?”

“Huh, I didn’t think to meet you with Anna of all people, in Italy of all places. Small world isn’t it?”

“To put it bluntly, she’s my aunt.”

“So, you’re Ni-”

“Yes.” Anna lightly elbowed his side. “Please, don’t finish that sentence.”

A young man wearing a dark blue shirt, brown jacket with the sleeves rolled up with shoes of the same color, khaki pants, and aviator sunglasses entered the café. “Yo! There you are.”

“Oh? A friend of yours?”

“Close friend.” Hwoarang repositioned his sunglasses to the top of his head. Turning over to Anna, something clicked about her. “You look familiar. Have we met before?”

“Don’t believe we have, but I’ve seen you around.” She recalled that his hair was more of a red-orange and that he wore goggles. “Wasn’t your hair a different color? You’re one of Kazama’s ‘friends’, aren’t you?”

“It was, but someone can only consistently dye their hair for so long. Also, yeah, if you wanna say that.”

“Going natural, huh? If I’m being honest, that streak you’ve got suits you.”

“You’re too kind.”

“You’ll have to excuse him.” Steve remarked as he drank his espresso. “He’s a real try-hard when it comes to first impressions.”

“I’m working on it.”

“I’m sure you are.”

Anna couldn’t keep herself from giggling. “You two sound like an old married couple.”

“At this point, we might as well be.”

“Look at that, there’s already a ring. When’s your special date?” Bruce couldn’t keep a straight face. “I’m sure we’d be available by then. Isn’t that right, Anna?”

“Oh absolutely.”

“God no. Don’t give him any ideas.”

__________

[Chapter 3]

“We’re on the next floor. If you two need anything, just come to room 1211.”

“Thanks. Are you two doing anything tomorrow? We were thinking of going on a tour or just wander the city.”

“We’ll let you know.”

“Alright then. Have a good night.” Lightly shutting the door, he fought off tiredness to walk enough distance to safely drop face first onto the mattress. The softness muffled his voice. “It’s only 8pm and I am exhausted.”

The room was quiet, with the only sound coming from a running shower. Five minutes passed, and the water stopped.

“That was much needed. I feel completely refreshed.” Hwoarang stepped into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. He noticed Steve fast asleep with his head between two pillows. “Huh. Today must’ve been rough for you, eh?” He picked up the clothes laid out and went back into the bathroom. Examining himself in the mirror, the area around his right eye was still visibly damaged despite treatment. “Fuck. That’s not going away any time soon.” He put on some loungewear, exited again, and sat on one of the room’s chairs with his legs resting on the left arm. “That’s new, a few more notifications than I usually get. Package delivery update, something from Xiaoyu, and… oh.” The last notification was a message from the hospital Baek was admitted to. “Please be okay…”

Fifteen more minutes had passed, and Steve woke up. He rubbed his eyes and sat upright. “How long have I been out?”

“About ten minutes? Twenty, maybe? Just so we’re on the same page here, that woman from earlier is your aunt?”

“Yeah, how we met is by a strange coincidence…” He stood up and stretched for a few seconds. “She told me today was supposed to be her wedding, how it went downhill because of who I tracked down to the same cathedral posed as her and turned it into a war zone.” He walked towards the closet and took out one of the coat hangers. “What’s weirder is that we booked rooms at the same hotel.”

“It might be more than just that. There must’ve been a reason as to how and why you two met today after all this time. When I first entered, she was one of the people I saw also participating but we never fought; she was always set to go against some lady in a purple suit. Then you showed up and she was absent?”

“Huh, I never noticed that last bit you just said. Then again, can’t really say I was fully paying attention because there were a lot of people trying to kill me at the time. My focus was just staying alive.” He took off the new jacket Anna had bought for him and hung it up. “You’re starting to sound like some street-side fortune teller. I mean, you may be right, but I can’t just jump to a ‘this is all laid out in the stars’ conclusion.”

“Just throwing something else in there to try and make it interesting. And before you ask, no I don’t have a deck of tarot cards in my luggage. How’d you get this room anyway? Did your adoptive parents put in a good word for you?”

“Nah. I’ve been to my fair share of luxury hotels, mostly from travelling to fights. The front desk recognized who I was and gave me a discount.” A cold compress was taken out of a mini first aid kit the hotel provided upon request. “You’re not looking too well. This should help.”

“For someone who’s a degree of famous, you still amaze me at how you don’t let it get to your head.”

“It’s just a title, something I can keep a hold of for a while. Hold still!”

“Ow! Steve, what the hell!”

“Stop making sudden movements while I’m trying to treat your eye injury.”

“Okay, okay. How does it look?”

“Not as bad now. It may take more time than you’d expect, but just be patient.”

“Or it could just become part of me, like how your scar’s your most ‘defining’ feature.”

“That’s… oddly sweet of you?”

“I almost forgot. I got you something.” He reached into the duffle bag placed on the table and took out a small teddy bear dressed in a pilot uniform that was holding a heart. “Saw it at the airport and thought you might like it.”

“You didn’t have to but thank you.”

“Happy late Valentine’s Day.”

Meanwhile in their own room, Anna kicked off her flats and sat down on her bed. She broke open a small wooden box, pulled out a bottle, and poured herself a glass of what would’ve been her wedding gift wine. Gently swirling the alcohol, she glanced over at Bruce, who was busy checking his laptop for everything from unread emails to how the G Corp military were doing in his absence. “Can’t let this go to waste. Would you like any?”

“Not much of a wine person, but I’ll just have the amount you poured.” Another glass was taken out, and the two made a small toast. Bruce sipped from his, whereas Anna downed hers.

Taking a second to settle, she cleared her throat. “Bruce, how do you know him?”

“Who? Your nephew?”

“Who else would I be talking about? Yes, him.”

“I forget you can drink more than humanly possible and still function. To answer your question, the fifth tournament. He was your usual cocky kid that thinks they could take anyone down. Had to beat some sense into him, now we’re acquaintances.”

“Damn, I do have a lot to catch up with. Any word from Kazuya yet? How’s he faring without us and against his own fucked up family?”

“He actually did it.”

“No. You’re kidding.”

“I’m not when I say that he finally got rid of his old man. I wasn’t there, but I heard from the soldiers who were around the perimeter.”

“And now Kazuya Mishima has solidified his image as the hero in this ongoing war.”

“There’s still that bastard son of his. As far as I’m aware, he’s lost his bodyguards.”

“Both of them? I knew Nina’s gone because she has no loyalty for an employer, even if they are a big name. What about the other? Did he leave because of the lie he was promised? I feel a little bad for that girl…”

“No idea.” Bruce opened the files with the names “E. Gordo” and “C. Monteiro” attached. “Says here her grandfather was his master, he was dying, and there’s a note with ‘Zaibatsu scientists unable to provide critical medical care; patient is now deceased’. The man was a Capoeira legend.”

“Why did you decide to accompany me anyway? I understand that he was one of your soldiers and that Kaz was busy.”

“Aside from him asking me to have your back, I don’t think those girls would’ve been up for the job.”

“Who were they again? There’s that nature lover and now the cat pop star.”

“Julia Chang and some kid that goes by the name Lucky Chloe. As dreadful as she is, the cat’s made a fool of Gordo.”

“Vid or it didn’t happen.”

“Pour yourself another glass then.” Bruce searched through the helipad’s surveillance footage and found the “match” between Chloe and Eddy. “Watch this.”

[“Step it up a gear, old man! You’re gonna be my backup dancer, so don’t mess this up!”

“O-old man…?”

“You got a problem? You lost and you’re still gonna gimme attitude? Again! ‘It’s me, Lucky Chloe!’ Hey, you think I’m doin’ this ‘cause I wanna? This job isn’t as easy as it looks! You’re workin’ with a professional now! Get with the program, hair-for-brains! Again! ‘It’s me, Lucky Chloe!’ No, no, no! Your hand goes like this, and your hips like this! Oh, and when we do this for real, you’re wearin’ a girly costume.”]

“Haha! Well, she is good for something now.”

“Then there’s that Chang girl. I know she’s valuable to us, but that’s steadily decreasing.”

“His half-brother and the fembot ‘rescued’ her.”

“Funny how she’s adopted but looks almost identical to Michelle.”

“You really do get bored and read up on everyone, huh? How do you think Michelle’s holding up?”

“Don’t know but most likely still hates the Mishimas. Says here she’s been on and off the radar since the attacks all those years ago but has taken up a side gig with Julia. They’re a mother/daughter wrestling team.”

“Figured and that’s good for both. Someone’s got to take down those big guys, and what better team to do so than those two. The big bald one tried to hit on me a while back.” She looked at the photos and compared how little Michelle’s aged. “Wow, time’s been really nice to her. What’s her secret?”

“Probably sold her soul to Ogre to retain her youth. The pendant she was attacked for was able to control him. Like a witch, but in a good way.”

“Oh, you’ve got jokes now.”

“I’ve had them, you just haven’t been around me long enough to hear any.”­­

____________________

[Notes per chapter:

C1: I can’t write a fight scene to save my life OTL. If you look at the stage layout, there’s a small pool of water on the ground floor / right under the starting balcony.

C2: “ag Dia” is Irish for “by God”. Since the exact location of Duomo di Sirio isn’t specified, a friend and I came up with the idea that it’s set in or at least near Rome and/or Vatican City. The outfit for Hwoarang I described is his new “casual” outfit from T7. Upon close detail inspection, there is actually a ring he wears on his right hand. I improvised Dr. K’s words and Leo’s file.

C3: I picked Chloe’s version of the fight and actually copied the dialogue from it. The “wedding wine in a wooden box” comes from an idea I saw my cousin and her husband do at their wedding: place a bottle inside with letters of what they loved about each other, with the condition “only open in case of a fight” so they can be reminded of why they’re together in the first place while enjoying some wine. Hopefully this note clears it up. The validity of this is questionable, but I put Anna’s birthdate (December 11) as her hotel room number.]

[juhlcho15-blog]

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A Review Of Marvel Future Fight

In April 2017, in addition to his announcement that he was returning to write and direct Guardians in the Galaxy Vol. three, James Gunn disclosed he can be dealing with Marvel "that will help style in which these tales go, and ensure the future in the Marvel Cosmic Universe is as Distinctive and reliable and magical as what We've got produced to this point". Your not too long ago viewed things and featured tips › Check out or edit your searching historical past Almost all of Marvel's fictional figures function in only one truth often called the Marvel Universe, with most areas mirroring real-lifetime destinations; a lot of key people are based in New York City.[3] Now, its time to search out many of the available superheroes to face collectively to stop the villains from destroying the planet. Marvel Future Fights Mod APK September 2018 do i just tap on my hero group 5 time for the 5X and Def to operate and my cellphone is not really rooted and want to know if this get the job done also my account is auto login to google? Check out photo · Marvel @marvelapp Apr 24 Replying to @steffenbogeholm If you select an iPad task, it will eventually perform comprehensive-display on the iPad itself but Provide you use of the swipe location so for the end consumer there isn't any variation :) When the studio employed Kenneth Branagh and Joe Johnston to immediate Thor and Captain The us: The very first Avenger, respectively, it created guaranteed both administrators ended up open to the thought of a shared universe and which include Avengers established-up scenes inside their movies.[six] Joe Russo said, "That is the thrilling component of [incorporating references to your much larger universe]. 'What can we put in place to the future?' You might be consistently pitching out Thoughts that not simply impact your movie, but could possibly have a ripple influence that affects other movies ... It is a Bizarre sort of tapestry of writers and directors Performing collectively to generate this universe that is form of organic. In August 2011, Marvel introduced a number of direct-to-video clip shorter films referred to as Marvel 1-Shots,[117] the identify derived from your label utilized by Marvel Comics for his or her one particular-shot comics.[118] Co-producer Brad Winderbaum mentioned, "It is a fun technique to experiment with new people and ideas, but far more importantly it's a way for us to broaden the Marvel Cinematic Universe and notify stories that live outside the house the plot of our characteristics."[117] Every single brief movie is designed to be considered a self-contained story that provides far more backstory for people or activities released while in the films. 1Apkmod is completely dedicated towards Modding of Video games, Android Purposes and lots of much more things. marvel game at 1Apkmod offer the best at school Doing work mods of each of the video games. Subscribe to our E-newsletter for modern updates. Dont know the place to tap 5x. Ive attempted tapping everywhere you go. As an alternative to a video are you able to publish screenshots on exactly where to faucet? A few of these have been published in larger sized-format black and white Journals, less than its Curtis Magazines imprint. @deanblacc who developed his own pixel artwork iOS game in his spare time! Go seize it! twitter.com/AdvOfKidd/stat… … As Marvel Future Fight Mod APK Latest Version Download of DC Comics, this man definitely knew many of the product sales figures and was in the most beneficial situation to inform this tidbit to Goodman. … Needless to say, Goodman would wish to be playing golf using this type of fellow and be in his superior graces. … Sol worked carefully with Impartial Information' major management more than the a long time and might have gotten this story straight from the horse's mouth. Loeb talked further on the topic in July 2016, reiterating The problem of scheduling by declaring "if I'm taking pictures a tv series and that is intending to go on over a 6-month or eight-thirty day period interval, how am I gonna get [a television collection actor] to have the ability to go be inside of a Motion picture?" He noted that This might not be as much of a problem if people were being building really minimal cameo appearances, but explained that Marvel was not thinking about cameos and easter eggs just for the sake of lover provider, which could detract in the story getting explained to; "As I often get reported by you folks for stating #ItsAllConnected, our feeling would be that the connection isn't just whether somebody is going for walks into a Film or walking from a tv present.

[tellywoodtrash]

kasautii zindagii kay 25.09.18 lb

don’t expect these regularly. pehli ep dekh rahi hoon toh kar rahi hoon. first impressions and all. will be watching this show veryyyyy sporadically.

also, i went and watched the first ep of the original before this to revive memories and do an accurate comparison.

lmaoooooo i’d forgotten and kinda missed ekta’s predilection to start every show with SUCHHHHHHH gratuitous shots of bhagwan.

show kolkata mein based hai toh mumbai ka siddhivinayak mandir kyun dikha rahe ho?

but also some durga maa shots and the bengali ululation to reassure us ki haan haan, kolkata mein hi hai.

lol just look at the sizeeeeeeee of that “middle class” house.

watching an ekta show after agessssss and discovering all the little balaji quirks are still intact is a trip and a half.

waah re, exaaact same aarti as the original they’re using. nice.

oh i realllllly appreciate the little captions telling us the name of each character. coz this show has tooo fucking many. and i could never keep track of them in the original.

idhar already attempt to establish anurag as hero. ki dekho dad takkkkk is late to aarti, but bhai apna has already started.

MAN THESE FAMILIES ARE TOO BIG. HOW MANY DAMN KIDS YOU PPL BE HAVING??????????????

oh ho ho shekhar has a cuteeeeeeeee smile.

mohini ji toh abhi bhi 2002 paro waale hangover mein hain.

i really love this actress (shubhavi chouksey) tho. she plays balance of bitchhhhh and weepy bits quite well.

also lol i still remember her “mihirrrrrrrjiiiiiiii” from kyunki.

really relate with her being 1000% done with her husband. excuse me sir, aap bhi late hi aayein hain. you get no moral superiority points.

this chick is still asleep????????

there’s no fucking way you ppl (prerna, and whoever this jogging chick is) can get ready in time before aarti ends. 

oh no. jogger girl does notttttttttttttt look good. waaaaaaaaayyyy too OTT. like not in a fun way like mohini or komolika. in a fire your stylist way.

oh it’s nivedita.

wtfffffffffffff is anupam wearing my god. it’s like one of those silver rescue blankets but in florescent orange. jesus.

anupam still a dgaf cartoon here also. cool. 

tapur’s just rolling innnnnnnnn. also lol at her passive aggressive snark smile.

MY GOD THIS AARTI IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. IT’S CLOCKED IN AT OVER 6 MINUTES ALREADY. MATLAB BHAGWAAN KO AUR BHI KAAM HAI MY DUDES, POORE DIN TUMHARI IS AARTI MEIN HI BAITHE RAHEIN KYA??????

also what kinda fucking upper body strength does anurag have to keep going like this????? need no arm workout for the rest of the week.

um prerna, wearing paayal jhumka and all that is not the priority rn. JUST GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE SO THIS NEVER-ENDING AARTI CAN FINISHHHHHH.

poooore suit se zyaada kapda iske dupatte mein lagta hai.

yeah these two are just toooooooo bland looking for my taste.

blah blah blah waqt issues.

ok so these guys don’t even have to do any work in writing the show. literallly just taking alllllllllll the dialogues from the original, huh.

anurag is a real stick in the mud, taking the ladoo back from his dad. asshole.

yeah i can already tell shubhavi is gonna act circles around the rest of this cast. multiple times.

this show is just maaaaaaade for the negative characters to shine, over the boring goody-goodies.

ok i’d forgotten how irritating erica’s voice is. she sounds like she’s perpetually phlegmy.

CHEATER PRERNAAAAAAAAAAA. original mein phool apne aap gira tha. chal jhooti. koi khaas dosti nahi hai teri bappa ke saath.

weird how they didn’t bother covering up erica’s cross tattoo. prerna sharma would never have a tattoo.

props to daddy sharma for being progressive papa and not seeing beti as bhoj.

blah blah blah humaari beti kitniiiiii pyaaari hai nonsense.

pft moloy and his dumbassery.

lmao “classes. business management.” who talks like this? who says the name of their degree/major when their mom asks where they’re going?

............ which parent in this day and age would resist their kid going to fucking college????? lol get real. a business family like this would push their kid to get an mba for fucking sure.

ok his voice is just as, if not even more, annoying than erica’s.

i won’t be surprised if mohini spits in moloy’s chai every now and then. he’s kinda asking for it.

bhaaaaaaaaaari cgi on college building. achcha hai, anyway script likhne mein paise ki bachat hui hai, toh ispe hi kharch kardo.

prerna’s friend is a horndog.

lol “JERSEY mein dikhta hai” as if it’s something great. kabhi aarti ke time jao uske ghar pe. tab shirtless hota hai.

ok this is creeeeeepy as fuck how all the girls are peeping into the boys’ locker room. just think how it’d look if it was reversed.

pehchaan waala hai toh why is she looking at him like it’s the first time??? yaa pehli baar “jersey mein” dekha hai?

jeeeeee bhar ke taadne ke baad, bol rahi hai “mujhse nahi hoga” lol, ok.

prerna’s friend has acquired another suitably horndog companion.

oh greatttttttttttttttt, casual homophobic statement. first of many, no doubt.

why is this chick getting SOOOOOOOO hyper about prerna/anurag talking? calm thy tits, madam.

OH GOD THEY’RE EVEN RECREATING THIS NONSENSE SCENE FROM THE ORIGINAL, WHERE THIS RANDOM DUDE PREDICTS THE CONVERSATION. IT’S SOOOOOOOOO DATED AND LAME AS A STORY-TELLING DEVICE. CRINGE!MAXXXX

wow, bothhhhh their annoying voices together is truly mind-numbingly grating.

ALSO MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST BORING CONVERSATION EVER.

prerna has the same oh god kahan phas gaye face that i have rn watching this.

ouff random expository dialogue on aane waala toofaaan.

this random bystander needs to shut up with his commentary and predictions. mostly coz he’s so wrong.

annoying horndog’s name is saloni. and she’s being annoying some more, this time towards prerna.

my god who the fuck is like ‘omg don’t tell me you DIDN’T fuck him’ to a total random stranger, in the very first convo they have with them??????? saloni needs to learn how to interact with ppl in polite society.

prerna like sorry, i don’t like rational men. lol good luck with that. it should reallllllly serve you well in life.

AND NOW SALONI’S LIKE CAN YOU FIND OUT IF ANURAG’S STRAIGHT?????? OMFG THIS CHICK IS REALLY ASKING FOR A JHAPPAD. 

AND PRERNA’S LIKE OK I’LL TRY. JFC.

seems like papa sharma has seen band baaja baarat too many times, ki anushka ki “vyaapaar aur pyaar” waali baat kuch zyaada hi dil pe le li.

15 lakh ka loan for what exactly?

ouff khudddaari dialogue. itniiiiiiii khuddaari hai toh loan bhi mat liya karo?

yeah mohini is srslyyyyyy just taking all her styling inspiration straight from 2002 devdas.

moloy is getting on my last damn nerve. 

the dubbing of this show is really bad. at some points the mouths are just moving completeeeeeeely outta sync with the sound.

i really like prerna’s mom. 

yes yes we got it, sabse bada pandaal yahi hai. you have convinced us.

i don’t get ppl who live in india and have zero patience for random things like roadblocks. like.... this is just how life IS here????? stop being a dick. itni jaldi hai, toh fucking get out and walk the 3 extra steps.

ouff prerna and her manic pixie-ness. i’m so tired of this HAR WAQT PHUDAKTI MACHALTI type heroines, who are unable to keep the ~~~excitement of lifeeeeeeeee~~~~ inside themselves and are constantly squirming.

lol the way mohini’s face instantly changed on having to interact with middle class person.

lmaooooooooo i’ve read a lot about erica and her weird way of saying “auntyji” and i finally get it.

.... why is she interrupting mohini’s conversation with her friends with her random tippani on anurag? unka beta hai, jo chaahe kahe; kissi ne tumse raaiii maangi?

damn, that was cold how she just abruptly walked away tho.

chandrika looks like SHE’s the one who came here in the back of a tempo, instead of prerna, who has not oneeeee hair outta place.

lol prerna’s mom is like hmph my daughter is soooo much better.

some more time waste on establishing just how big pandaal is.

pregnancy ki complications ki wajaah se mummy is STILL babying onuuuu, like 25 years later. waah bhai. jai ho aisi moms ki. inka bas chale toh umbilical cord kaate hi na.

nivideta waali actress’s hair and makeup is really doing nothing for her. esp. the hair. it’s making her forehead look bizarre. like i get she’s supp to be OTT, poonam was too in the original, but it suited her. this here is just not working.

some more casualllllll misogyny from moloy.

foreshadowing regarding prerna being anurag’s own personal toofaan.

mohini cannot stand a middle class girl even being within a 10 ft radius of precious baby boiiii. kahin uske exhalation par middle class waale co2 molecules na pad jaaye mere onuuuuuu pe!

they really need to put a flashing images warning on this show.

lmao tapur’s sheeeeeeer discomfort at being made to do aarti. #relatable

mohini’s not happpppppy ki prerna kahin se ghus aayi hai to do aarti. aadat daal lo AuNTyJiiiiiiiii. ab toh yeh har jagah ghusne waali hai.

ppl pray for peace of mind and this dumbass here is asking for a toofaan in her life. well i hope you’re ready, miss thang. coz this is going to be the last peaceful day of your godforsaken life. good luck.

thank god mohini didn’t see raja beta touching the hand of a mere commoner.

ANJALI IS STILL CAUGHT UP ON THIS BS.

AND OMG PRERNA ARE YOU SRSLY GONNA DO THIS???????

prerna, are you trying to find out if he’s straight, or signal to him ki you’re gay???? coz your opening line on how many cute girls there are here sounds like the latter.

.... i can’t believe she just asked him that. srsly. how the fuckkkkkkk is it any of your business?

god her verbal diarrhea. girl please stop.

yeah i really won’t be able to watch this show because her voice is just.... intolerable.

“haan mujhe ladke pasand hai. i like boys.”

pls. i wish. this would be an infinitely interesting show then. those would be some real kasautiiis. trying to navigate indian society in every way as a non-hetero.

“gooooood choice. baaaad luck.”

lol at least he has a sense of humour.

pffffffffffffffft.

i don’t like these nonsense gay jokes but this kinda felt like a befitting reply to her dumbass intrusive question.

mohini really rude af. but i also kinda admire her attitude of not dealing with ppl she doesn’t want to. i wish i had it.

LE YEH PHIR AA GAYI ISKE PAAS.

at least she’s apologizing.

WHAT IS WITH THESE TWO AND ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER. JFC. SO BORING.

some pretty heavyyyyyyyyyyy handed exposition re: mahishasura.

who dis character tho??????

ouff too much dramatics with the sharaab ki bottal phodna and pandit ki commentary and the chunari over those two. it’s alll TOO MUCH.

lo shahrukh bhi aa gaya gyaan dene.

MY GOD WHY IS HE AGING LIKE THIS JFC IT’S LIKE WITNESSING MY CHILDHOOD DECOMPOSE IN FRONT OF MY VERY EYES.

overall impression

production values and all are amazing, as expected. the two actresses playing the moms are the best. the fathers are that special desi dad brand of benevolently annoying. the leads have zeroooooooooooo personality and appeal for me though. they’re just too bland and boring (like, that ~*SPARK*~ shweta tiwari had???? sorely missing.) too early to tell about chemistry right now, but they both really need to work on their dialogue delivery, because my god, it’s truly the worst (esp. erica’s.) the only draw of this show for me personally is mohini and komolika’s bitchery, and that isn’t a good enough reason for me to watch it regularly and put up with the rest of these characters. like i’ve said before, maybe someone who hasn’t watched the original would enjoy this, but i’m mostly meh. i’ll keep up with updates and like, check in and watch an ep or two occasionally but overall, naaah.

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part II

Part I is here. Let’s keep it moving. ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS

103. Zama (Lucretia Martel)- In this movie there's a motif of Zama, an officer of the 18th century Spanish Empire, starting a scene by talking to someone or staring at someone off camera. After a minute or two, the camera cuts to some servant and disorients us. There's a person there, always there, to serve him, and it doesn't really matter who it is. It's a brilliant way to get at the colonialism that the character depends on but is still trapped by. So I get a little bit of what the film is trying to do, but it's boring. I'm an ignorant person who doesn't know how to watch Lucretia Martel's films or have any context for South American history, but I know what boring is. 102. I Feel Pretty (Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein)- I like that Schumer tried something different instead of falling back on her persona, but there isn't enough new or interesting here for me to recommend--besides National Treasure Michelle Williams, of course. The film nearly displays "Do you see that she's turning her back on her real friends now?" on the screen. 101. A Simple Favor (Paul Feig)- At times cheeky and sexy and juicy, but it still wears out its welcome by twists ninety-one and ninety-two. 100. Double Lover (Francois Ozon)- Diverting until it gets silly, then so silly that it gets diverting again. There are about five too many twists, and I'm still unclear on how seriously the film takes any of those twists. More importantly, I don't think there's much of a takeaway from any of it. Ozon seems to have found a real muse in Marine Vacth though. 99. Borg Vs. McEnroe (Janus Metz Pedersen)- As a Shia Pet, I felt obligated to see his portrayal of Johnny Mac. I didn't learn anything that I didn't already know from this mediocre biopic though. Watch the documentary McEnroe/Borg: Fire & Ice instead. 98. Ralph Breaks the Internet (Rich Moore and Phil Johnston)- There's some clever visualization of the the Internet, such as the way that a link shuttles an avatar off in a transparent car or the way that shady newsboy types whisper about pop-up ads. And I liked a lot of the Disney tie-in stuff that critics are wincing at. As far as textbook screenwriting goes, it's great at that idea of making you think that the protagonists will accomplish their goal very easily, only to have them be re-directed to square one. The voice acting is top-notch. Why do these movies get so plotty though? I felt as if the internal logic started getting inconsistent about halfway through--at the same time that the first one got bogged down with candy stuff instead of 8-bit video game stuff. And if there are so many lovable characters from the first entry, why do we get such tiny servings of them here? The movie's too long already, but what I wouldn't give for an occasional cut back to Fix-It Felix raising some kids.

97. We the Animals (Jeremiah Zagar)- The Tree of Life is one of my favorite movies, and on its face, We the Animals is a really similar impressionistic memory. So why do I like it half as much? Are lighting and music that important? Is Jessica Chastain? Is latent racism? All I know is that this felt like a story I had seen before pitched at the same intensity for a running time I was happy to see expire. 96. Kodachrome (Mark Raso)- The three leads are all pretty good. (Ed Harris does this bashful, pulling-on-his-eyelid thing that killed me.) But with mathematical precision, the film matched each element I liked with another thing that infuriated me. Specifically, the whole plot hinges on one scene, and that scene is preposterous and alien to human behavior. 95. Deadpool 2 (David Leitch)- The pacing of these movies is bizarre to me; they're half-over before they really get started. No one else is bothered by the fact that Cable has no motivation or backstory for the first hour? Some of the connections to X-Men felt more forced this time around, but I thought this entry was much funnier than the first, even mixing in some more subtle visual gags. (The exotic locales montage ending in Biloxi really got me.) I have to give credit to the X-Force parachute sequence, which is audacious and unexpected. And clear out for Zazie Beetz, who is a huge star in the making. 94. At Eternity’s Gate (Julian Schnabel)- Something about Van Gogh was essentially unknowable, which is a great reason to make a movie about him and a terrible reason to make a movie about him. I'm not sure that Julian Schnabel got to the bottom of the man any better than anyone else has, though maybe that's an unfair expectation. To his credit, Schnabel yada-yadas the ear business and Van Gogh's death in favor of his more poetic understanding of the artistic life. The movie doesn't coalesce for me, but there's a banger of a scene between Dafoe and Mads Mikkelsen about the responsibility an artist has toward God. That short nested inside makes the whole thing worth seeing. The conversation I had afterwards with one of the two other people in the theater, an art historian, was a solid three stars. 93. Bohemian Rhapsody (Bryan Singer)- Some biographical movies do a good job of compressing time, and their supporting characters don't feel sacrificed or glossed over. For many other mediocre ones though, including this one, I submit the Three Scene Rule. Three scenes is kind of the minimum for a character to register an arc and for an actor to present any kind of dynamic performance, so in a lot of these true story movies, that's all that a supporting character gets. If you're looking for it, it's glaring. (Watch Hidden Figures again with the husband and boyfriend characters in mind. I'll wait.) This movie has a few characters that matter: Freddie Mercury, obvs; the other Queen members; Paul Prenter, the unfairly composited villain; and Mary Austin, the platonic love of Mercury's life. The movie spends way too much time on her, as if to tease the audience with the idea that Freddie might be straight. As for everyone else? Three scenes. Ray Foster, the record executive played by Mike Myers (!): A. "Look, guys, I like formulas. This opera stuff you're talking about? That sounds crazy." B. "The opera stuff is crazy. I ain't making that the single. You can walk out of here for all I care." C. [hangs head in shame after being proven wrong] Jim Hutton, Freddie's partner for the seven years this movie doesn't care about: A. "Look, pal, I may be a waiter, but you can't just grab me like that. On second thought, let's talk. You should learn how to love yourself." B. "Oh, hey. Glad you tracked me down, slugger. You love yourself now? Sure, let's go meet your parents." C. "Guess I'm your boyfriend now. Looking forward to the show." Freddie's Parents: A. "You go out every night! What are you doing out there? Why can't you be a good boy? What's up with your new name?" B. "Why can't you be a good boy? What's up with your new name?" C. "You're a good boy, I guess, even if you're gay. Guess that's your name for real." I like the idea of reproducing the Live Aid performance in full, and the movie comes alive during its musical sequences. But I wish that the same attention given to, like, the number of Pepsi cups on the piano was also given to the nuts and bolts of the storytelling.

92. The Predator (Shane Black)-  I get why other people don't like this. The final fourth feels obligatory, and it seems cut to the verge of incoherence. But if you don't get a little tingle out of a game cast saying Shane Black things like, "Predators don't just sit around making hats out of rib cages," then we are very different moviegoers.

91. Sorry to Bother You (Boots Riley)- I admire Boots Riley's ambition, the way he's taking many of the ideas that drove his music and channeling them into film. But there are too many ideas and, strangely, too much plot to cohere. I liked some of the jokes, especially the Robocop-py TV clips laced throughout. I think my main problem, however, is Lakeith Stanfield as Cassius. He's a fascinating actor, but his energy is completely wrong for an everyman lead like this. I don't think he was the right choice to carry it. 90. Thoroughbreds (Cory Finley)- The repartee at the beginning is sharp, and there are some engaging elements of style. God knows I've never complained about rich, sad, nubile brunettes with strange eyes. But there are pieces missing in that forest-for-the-trees way that happens sometimes with debuts. Like, how do these privileged girls not have access to a gun when our national nightmare is based on all young people having access to guns? Or what is the exact motivation behind the crime at the center? Lots of great characters have been spurred by a violent curiosity, but a zinger here and there doesn't make these girls Raskolnikov. 89. White Boy Rick (Yann DeMange)- Even if this isn't it, I think Yann Demange has a great film in him. There's some urgency to White Boy Rick's politics, and it looks interesting. If nothing else, it succeeds in making the surroundings seem as gloomy as the characters all acknowledge them to be. But this isn't a great film in either of its halves. It's motivated by plot until a crucial event that I don't want to reveal, then it veers much more into character. I would normally sign off on that, but this movie grinds to a halt in the change and never recovers. McConaughey pulls his weight, but Richie Merritt is pretty bad in the lead. 88. The Strangers: Prey at Night (Johannes Roberts)- Despite some striking images and a welcome lack of explanation for the menace, Prey at Night doesn't reach the heights of its predecessor, mostly because the characters are too paint-by-numbers. 87. Ant-Man and the Wasp (Peyton Reed)- Probably the first Marvel movie that would benefit from more action. Some of the material is genuinely funny thanks to Michael Pena and Randall Park, but I got a little drowsy during the middle hour of talk about phase-shifting and the quantum realm. Get back to making things big or making things little, Dr. Molecule! 86. Creed II (Steven Caple Jr.)- The pieces are there, but it's a problem when Jim Lampley, who has one hundred times as many lines as the fifth lead, explains to the audience what they literally saw an hour earlier. If nothing else, this movie proves, through his absence, how good of a director Ryan Coogler is. I would be lying if I said I didn't get the chills at some key moments. Stallone’s performance and Jordan's muscles are good. But there was a dark, honest way for this movie to end, and it went directly against that ending into something more Hollywood. 85. Let the Sunshine In (Claire Denis)- Like Taxi Driver if Travis Bickle just wanted the guy to get him a glass of water afterwards. The film does have that kind of myopic focus--the sexy, ever-candid Binoche is in every scene--but it's far more elliptical, progressing only through character, never through plot. Let the Sunshine In is unique in a way that is different from Denis's other unique works: No one talks like an actual person, and she acts as if you should know all of the characters instead of properly introducing them. It's not supposed to be funny ha-ha, so excuse me if that's what I wanted.

84. Revenge (Coralie Fargeat)-  like the style of this film, the color palette, the synth score, how far it's willing to go with the gore. But if it's called Revenge, and it's clear who the hero is (hint: not the rapist), then the whole thing feels like a fait accompli. We know exactly who's going to be the last woman standing, and we even know the order of the people she's going to kill.

PRETTY GOOD MOVIES 83. The Rider (Chloe Zhao)- This movie is trying to be a poem, but the parts I like the most are prose. It's a promising piece of filmmaking with heartbreaking moments, but I found it most effective when the storytelling spelled things out. It's an all-hands-on-deck independent film, so the amateurism of the piece shines through in the performances from non-professional actors. The relationship between Brady and his autistic sister is interesting because she speaks with that sarcastic cadence that can be learned from only children's programming. It's unlike what we usually see because, you know, she's a non-professional actor and real autistic person. So what do I know? 82. Unfriended: Dark Web (Stephen Susco)- Pretty tight from a storytelling standpoint and definitely grisly enough to get under the skin. But these laptop flicks move with such alacrity that it's hard to believe them whenever they ask you to buy something like love, since they paint it with the broadest strokes imaginable. Not that I would want a two-hour version of this anyway. 81. Juliet, Naked (Jesse Peretz)- Charming enough, arriving at a more realistic place than I expected, Juliet, Naked does nothing to make me revoke my charter membership in the Rose Byrne fan club. What an odd shape this film has though. The inciting incident happens at the hour mark, and it races obligatorily to an ending at an hour, thirty-seven. 80. Ocean’s Eight (Gary Ross)- It sets its marks and hits them adequately, with most of the charm that made the other Ocean movies fun. But there's something lifeless about Ocean's 8, both in the direction and the score. Take, for example, Richard Armitage's bland, sort of lost performance as an old flame/mark. It's such a nothing part that I began to think that it was a thesis: The men are just chess pieces, and they shouldn't take attention away from the women this time. But then James Corden emerges in the last half-hour and shines. So maybe Armitage was just bad and directed poorly? This movie exists for the Movie Star interplay though, and it delivers on that level. Cate Blanchett was good for so long that she's popular, and Sandra Bullock was popular for so long that she's good. Rihanna has to dress like a janitor at one point as a disguise, and she proves how absurd it would be for her to ever blend in. Anne Hathaway is the funniest of the bunch, balancing on a highwire of how big she's supposed to seem. Helena Bonham Carter gets the "and" hammer for all my credit fetishists. 79. Mary Poppins Returns (Rob Marshall)- I saw this on Christmas night with my family. The original Mary Poppins was the first movie my mom ever saw in theaters, and it's probably my wife's favorite. To the extent that insulting it is kind of insulting an important part of who she is. So I couldn't be the guy coming out of the theater like, "The Bankses definitely deserved to lose their house." Between you and me though, it's just fine. Entire sequences could be cut without damaging anything--do we ever come back to the bowl that Meryl Steep is supposed to be mending?--and most of the conflict feels manufactured. These legasequels always end up feeling like boxes being checked. We all know that the guys with the cannon had to come back, right? But some of the numbers are so joyful or stirring that even this grinch snuck a few smiles at his daughter as she pointed to the screen and said, "That's so silly." It's a good movie to see on Christmas night with your whole family. 78. RBG (Betsy West, Julie Cohen)- This movie is designed to make the viewer who would seek it out go, "What an American hero." It does that, I suppose, and there isn't a whole lot wrong with it. Yes, she is a very impressive person. But the film has too much untapped potential and too few teeth to recommend beyond that rubric of achieving its goals. For example, what about half of the population that would sneer at the notion that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is an American hero? Besides the inclusion of some radio clips over the credits, the filmmakers aren't concerned. "Look, she was friends with a conservative!"

77. Searching (Aneesh Shaganty)- Since I've seen thousands of movies that don't take place inside of a computer, there's still some novelty to the handful that do. On one hand, there are four or five twists too many, and the film isn't consistent with its own rules. On the other hand, it gets intriguingly dark for PG-13, and it never stops moving. 76. Uncle Drew (Charles Stone III)- The attitude toward women is retrograde, and to call the plot cookie-cutter would be an understatement. But this works, mostly because of the sunny, natural performances. Kyrie Irving, whose handles are even more of a marvel on a forty-foot screen, has to act through pounds of makeup, but he pulls it off. With only commercials to his name, he has to carry scenes of, like, standing at someone's grave and apologizing, and he has the presence and confidence to do it. I also should mention that Nick Kroll has a nothing-to-lose, galaxy brain performance for which probably zero of the lines were written ahead of time. "Shout-out to Oberto, shout-out to Aleve, the number one pain reliever in the game right now." I have to extend some of the credit here to Charles Stone III, who has made a calling card out of coaxing performances from newcomers. 75. Christopher Robin (Marc Forster)- Cute. 74. Unsane (Steven Soderbergh)- What seems to be a B-movie hitting its marks gets elevated by one fantastic scene that makes it seem timely and vital. I can't help but think Steven Soderbergh is punching below his weigh class though. I'm glad that an experiment like shooting a movie with an iPhone gets him up in the morning, and I know he doesn't want to make another Traffic or Out of Sight. But maybe, here's an idea, audiences might? 73. 22 July (Paul Greengrass)- The first thirty minutes are harrowing, in part because of their disciplined cross-cutting and Anders Danielsen Lie's chilling stoicism. The mistake that Greengrass makes is thinking that, later on, the three strands of story are equal in importance. He cuts away from the court case at its apex to see a kid trying to walk again or a prime minister demanding that his administration get tougher. Some moments are powerful, and Greengrass's composition and editing have mercifully softened, but this becomes a grind at a certain point. 72. Solo: A Star Wars Story (Ron Howard)- I hate to state the obvious, but this feels like multiple movies stitched together because that's exactly what it is. On one hand, we have the foggy opening, featuring an airtight inciting incident and setting up Emilia Clarke as that rarest of things in a Star Wars movie: a character with unclear motivations. But as the film goes on, it reveals why Han doesn't work as a protagonist. (Ehrenreich is bad, but the storytelling sinks the movie more than his performance does.) Everyone else in the movie drips with charisma and comments on the action while Han is left to connect the dots. In other words, the other characters get to be Han Solo, and Han Solo doesn't. By the time we get to the marauders, past the two hour mark of a movie that shouldn't have been more than two hours, the narrative crumbles under its own weight. These movies are way too competent to fail--I can list five or six moments that transcend the flaws--but each of these origin stories has a way of erasing the myth of Star Wars with a pen. 71. Bird Box (Susanne Bier)- This is a genre film that you've seen before in one way or another, so your expectations (and filmgoing experience even?) will dictate what you think of it. There's a metaphorical reading available, but that doesn't make the picture more artful automatically. Trevante Rhodes is a Movie Star. Here's what I can tell you: We need to appreciate John Gavin Malkovich while we can. Delivering the apotheosis of the selfish dickhead survivor character, he a) asks why the group can't stay in the grocery store forever, b) points shotguns at people when they try to let in strangers, c) drinks as he's telling people matter-of-factly that this is the end of the world, and d) (sort of) explains why he is the way he is. And-he-does-it-all-with-the-deliberate-cadence-that-you-are-doing-in-your-HEAD-right-NOW. I'm not saying the guy should win Best Supporting Actor or anything, but I admire his career more than any that would get a Best Supporting Actor.

[lovehotelreservation]

LET’S GO LET’S GO SPRING IS HERE SO IT’S TIME TO WARM UP WITH LEWDS

E M O T I O N A L  L E W D S  T H A T  I S

Having been away on a trip, I was listening to a great deal of albums that have left me feeling extremely inspired--especially now to the point of hosting yet another fic event after having just recently returned lololol but anyhow!!! I was especially fond of Mura Masa’s self-titled debut, and while I’ve been wanting to do write something for his song “Love$ick Fuck”, I discovered a newfound love with his “Messy Love” track and decided to COMBINE THE TWO TOGETHER FOR THIS EVENT!

As the Focus implies, this event is themed on overly/extremely devoted, clingy love--taken to however extreme you wish to request~ :3c However! Rather than do this request event by the norm, I wish to change things up simply for the fun of it by bringing in some of the guidelines from my smaller mini-fill events!

Thus, when you request, please note these usual guidelines, including the ones specifically for Focus events like this one!:

Be 18+ to request lewds

Focus characters (the ones depicted in the image above) means that requests for them will either be prioritized or general requests for them may be permitted! For this event in particular however, only the former will apply~

Multiple requests are fine but only if you request for a different series per request~

As in, instead of submitting 3 requests for JJBA, you split it up between JJBA, OPM and Drifters~

Please adhere to the rules of the event~

While also including the following!:

Your husband of choice

Polyamorous/love triangles are okay~

One of the noted lyrics from either Love$ick or Messy Love

the ~extremity~ of love will be determined by what you pick, with lyrics denoted with * being the lowest and *** being the highest!

Love$ick

I need you***

I'm a lovesick fuck***

I want you*

Come on fuck me, babe**  

Messy Love

Take me*  

Break me***

Use me for your messy love**

Steal me***

Don't you think that we should be together?*

Now will (you) be my girl**/***

depends on context of prompt~

A prompt relating to the theme of the event~!

Detailed prompts are preferred over general!

Examples:

(I want you) A sleeping Summoner resting upon Laslow’s lap leaves him deep in thought over his feelings for the one he yearns for most.

(Use me for your messy love) Doppio knows that that the reader’s heart belongs to Diavolo. It doesn’t mean he is able to resist the temptation to keep the reader company and satisfied while the boss is ‘away’

(I need you) Ichimatsu has been crushing on the reader for the longest, but is too afraid to express his feelings, even though he feels more than irritated when his brothers have no issue with talking to the reader. Keeping how he feels to himself leads him to amassing all the little gifts that the reader gives, eventually ‘borrowing’ a few personal items even. And then he gets caught in the act. However, these emotions come to a head when the reader comes by to announce news of being admitted to a year-long study abroad program.

AND SINCE WE’RE BACK AT IT AGAIN FOR THE REQUESTS HERE ARE ALL THE SERIES OF WHOSE MENZ YOU CAN SELECT:

Anime:

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (Parts 1-7)

Free!

I NEED TO HAUL ASS ON TAKE YOUR MARK GKLDGJSL

Haikyuu! (anime only)

One-Punch Man (anime only)

I’ve yet to watch Extra Game~

Gintama (anime only)

Still haven’t budged from after finishing Yoshiwara in Flames arc ^^; 

Osomatsu-san

Drifters (anime only)

BRING ON THE MESSY CONMAN DAD FOR S2

Boku No Hero Academia (anime only)

FULLY CAUGHT UP NOW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Devilman Crybaby

Touken Ranbu (anime)

HAVEN’T WATCHED S2 OF HANAMARU OR KATSUGEKI THO

Video Games:

Ace Attorney

LISTEN APOLLO IS UP THERE 4 A REASON AFTER I FINISHED SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

Overwatch

Fire Emblem

Awakening

Fates

Echoes

Heroes

Persona 3/4/5

You may submit in requests starting now up until 12 AM PST on April 3rd (4/3)! Though depending on how many prompts received, I may either close my inbox early or extend the deadline~ Either way, please send in your requests as soon as possible!

I would like to take my time with these requests this go around, so instead of having a near immediate, set date for when these prompts will be posted after fulfillment, I will announce when I’m ready to get to updating once more~ If you have any questions, as always, please let me know and I’m happy to clarify~!

That said, I am SO EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT HKLGKLJGLKSJGLJK THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING LIKE FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS AT THIS POINT ; u ; I hope you all enjoy and fun with this event as you request! I look forward to what you’ve got for me to fulfill! Thanks so much again everyone!!!

[irkimatsu]

All right, all right, let's do this... Eurovision rankings! Well, not so much a ranking because I'm putting them in alphabetical order by country, but little blurbs about how I feel about each song after looping the playlist for a couple of weeks, and what category I'm going to place them in. As a refresher:

Love: Top five. My absolute favorite songs, and the ones I'll do anything to see win or at least perform well. Caps and italic for my special, number one love.

Like: Didn't quite make it to the top five, but I still like it a lot! I'll probably keep it even after the Contest is over.

Okay: I can see its merit, and maybe I like an element or two of it, but overall, it just doesn't click with me and I won't miss it if it fails the semi. I’ll get it if it does make it, though.

Indifferent: I just can't bring myself to give a shit about it, and I really don't want to see it in the semi, especially not at the expense of a Loved song. Not so annoying that I can't stand to listen to it, but it doesn't bring me any joy, either.

Surprisingly, three categories won't be used this time - I can finally retire "bias" because there's no goofy/boring songs that I only like because they remind me of fandom; there aren't any songs that I feel make my life worse, so "hate" won't be used (good, after I embarrassed myself last year by putting the eventual winner there); and while there is a song for the "what" category, there always is in Eurovision... well... you'll see.

Okay, let's roll!

Albania: "Mall" by Eugent Bushpepa - Sorry, not feeling it. Indifferent.

Armenia: "Qami" by Sevak Khanagyan - I can tell he's trying, but like the above, this just isn't my thing and I'm not gonna linger on it. Indifferent.

Austria: "Nobody But You" by Cesar Sampson - Meh. There's worse, but there's better. I like the chorus well enough, mainly the way it bursts, but by the time it comes up, I'm bored. I'll say Okay for that.

Australia: "We Got Love" by Jessica Mauboy - After two years of not giving a shit about Australia and not understanding why they're still here, they've won me over again! I like cute, upbeat things like this. Like!

Azerbaijan: "X My Heart" by Aisel - It's cute enough! I don't think it stands out super well, but it still has a certain charm to it. Let's say Okay.

Belarus: "Forever" by Alekseev - Eh, it grew on me. I like synths, what can I say. Like. Maybe on the lower end of Like, since it does get outshone by a lot of other stuff I enjoy, but I don't feel right putting it in Okay, either.

Belgium: "A Matter Of Time" by Sennek - Reminds me of a Bond song. Sometimes I'm in the mood for that, so it's good for then, but "Rise Like A Phoenix" did it way better. Okay, because I'm feeling generous.

Bulgaria: "Bones" by Equinox - A little on the mellow side, but it has a calming effect I do enjoy. There's just better electronica out there, is all. Okay.

Croatia: "Crazy" by Franka - I do like the soulful element of it! It's not quite my thing, but I appreciate it for what it is, and if it has a major fanbase, I can understand why. Okay!

Cyprus: "Fuego" by Eleni Foureira - Something about this song hits me in all the right places. Fun as hell to walk to, fun as hell to sing along to, this one was a latecomer to my top five but now I can't make it leave. Love!

Czech Republic: "Lie To Me" Mikolas Josef - when I first heard this, I thought of it as a combination of "Don't" by Ed Sheeran, a song I like well enough when it's on the radio but never seek out on its own; and "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo, a song I can't stand. So why, why did this climb my ranking so quickly? It's such a damn earworm! I love it so much, Love, Love, Love! I think my only real complaints is all the f-bombs - not because I'm sensitive to cursing, but because I'm wondering how he's going to handle that on stage... I found a stage performance where he just went quiet instead of replacing them, and it just sounds awkward...

Denmark: "Higher Ground" by Rasmussen - Oh, this is awesome. Vikings! I had a bit of a viking phase in high school... blame E-type. I just love how grand this sounds, and I'm looking forward to seeing it on stage! Like! (As an aside... Sannie of Whigfield was also in the qualifiers, and while normally I'd be morally obligated to cheer for a Eurodance darling... "Boys On Girls" sucks, even by my cheesy standards. No way did it deserve to win over this. No Dolly Style flavored bitterness here!)

Estonia: "La Forza" by Elina Nechayeva - On one hand, this may not be my type of music... but holy shit, for something that's not my type of music, it's put together well! I'm impressed! I'm gonna say Okay just because I can't see myself keeping it after the Contest, but I wouldn't fault anyone if it won. The woman can belt! It's impressive!

Finland: "Monsters" by Saara Aalto - I kept putting this on and off my top five due to another song it was rotating with, but it finally landed on and hasn't moved since! Of course it's written by the same team that brought us "Heroes" in 2015! It's just one of those songs where I feel the music so deeply, and I love the mental illness awareness (according to another site I read), and I just... yes, yes, go Finland. Love!

France: "Mercy" by Madame Monsieur - This wins the questionable honor of being one of those songs that I can never remember no matter how many times it comes up. There's nothing wrong with it, I just don't care. There's worse, but I'm still Indifferent to it.

Germany: "You Let Me Walk Alone" by Michael Schulte - ...oh. Oh dear. I feel like I should at least be kind to this song, since it's about his dead father... I appreciate that sentiment, I can see it doing well on that merit, it's probably more artistically valid than something like "Lie To Me"... but I don't like it! I can not make myself care about this! Indifferent! Sorry! Don't kill me!

Georgia: "For You" by Iriao - No. I can't even think of anything interesting to say about it. No. I'm sure it's culturally relevant, and that's very nice for it and Eurovision should always have those songs... but that doesn't stop them from boring me to tears. Indifferent.

Greece: "Oneiro Mou" by Gianna Terzi - I'll call it a low Okay because I like it more than, say, Georgia or Armenia, but it's a cold compliment. I just feel bad for typing Indifferent on most of the non-English ones and this is one I felt like being nice to. Um... I like the strings?

Hungary: "Viszlat Nyar" by AWS - Holy shit this goes hard. I'm fussy about my rock, but damn, this is really, really good! There, I'm saying really nice things about a non-English song! I'd love to see this in the final for a change of pace! Like!

Iceland: "Our Choice" by Ari Olafsson - This song bores the crap out of a friend of mine, and god, I understand why. There's nothing here. When she said her least favorite was Iceland, I couldn't even remember what Iceland sent, and when I looked it up... yeah, this isn't noteworthy at all. Except for that screech toward the end, but I wouldn't exactly call that a point in this song's favor. Indifferent.

Ireland: "Together" by Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Ugh, boring. Sorry, no thanks. This doesn't grab me at all; this type of music never has a chance with me. Indifferent.

Israel: "Toy" by Netta - I love you, chicken lady! By all rights, this song belongs firmly in "What", between the chicken noises and all the pop culture references... but god, from the first time I listened to it, I've been hooked! It was the second or third song I listened to, and I got so stuck on it that it took a while for me to move on! This is LOVE, no doubt, and while I'm extremely surprised that a lot of people seem to agree with me, I'm not disappointed! Go Israel! ...isn't there a rule against mentioning copyrighted stuff, though? I remember when they had to change a line in "Cheesecake" because it mentioned Google... I wonder what'll happen here...?

Italy: "Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente" by Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - I have a soft spot for how the Italian language sounds. Is it because I grew up with an Eiffel 65 CD as my first non-English album? Who knows! In any case, I like the vocal track on this a lot, and the music's no slouch, either, so for that, Like!

Latvia: "Funny Girl" by Laura Rizzotto - Oof, this one hurts. It's just so bitter and mournful... it gets what it needs done damn well, and I feel so bad for the narrator. Like, definitely. I like a good, angsty story.

Lithuania: "When We're Old" by Ieva Zasiauskaite - When I first listened to this song, I got hit by such a wave of feelings that I can't shake them even now. If those feelings were for a fictional character, I'd immediately pitch this into "bias", but since they're for a real person I love very, very much... it's a Like, even if I wouldn't say that about a song that sounds like this if the lyrics were about anything else. Leave me alone, I'm gay.

Macedonia: "Lost and Found" by Eye Cue - I like that tropical beat going on in the background, and the way it switches on and off. The whole song brings a smile to my face, and I'll give it a Like!

Malta: "Taboo" by Christabelle - It hits in all the right places, and what i mean when I call a song a builder. I love how it climbs at the minute point. Like!

Moldova: "My Lucky Day" by DoReDoS - I saw someone insult this song by saying it's no longer 2004, but to me, who grew up drenched in 2000′s Europop, that's a high compliment. Like "Toy", this one latched onto me the instant I first listened to it - maybe not quite as hard, but if "Toy" wasn't here, I'd have no complaints about making this my favorite. My... number one, so to speak! Love! (Also, anyone who has known me for more than 20 minutes and who has very basic Japanese knowledge would know why "number one" is one of my favorite compliments)

Montenegro: "Inje" by Vanja Radovanovic - Montenegro and I will never be friends. I've never, ever hoped for them to be in a final, they've always been either criminally bizarre or criminally boring... I just wish they stuck with being bizarre twice in a row. Sorry, Indifferent, this isn't my thing at all.

The Netherlands: "Outlaw In 'Em" by Waylon - If we had to have a country song this year, it could have have been far worse. It's another one that kinda grew on me for what it is. I get weirdly into it sometimes! You know what, I'll call this one a Like! I like it way better than predecessors like "Calm After The Storm" and "Slow Down", at any rate!

Norway: "That's How You Write A Song" by Alexander Rybak - Can I say something controversial here? I like this better than "Fairytale". Now, to make it clear, "Fairytale" is probably better, artistically - but I don't rank by art, I rank by fun, and while I do like "Fairytale" and believe it deserved the record it set, I have more fun with this one. It just barely missed my top five thanks to Finland, but I still really Like it, and I'm looking forward to how it does!

Poland: "Light Me Up" by Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - A fun little electronic thing! It's nothing spectacular, but I do really like the instrumental break. I'm feeling generous, let's call this one a Like.

Portugal: "O Jardim" by Claudia Pascoal - Portugal could stop competing in Eurovision and I wouldn't even notice. I'm serious - I'm constantly forgetting if they really did skip 2016 or if their song that year just made that little of an impression on me. This year hasn't changed a thing. Indifferent.

Romania: "Goodbye" by The Humans - This is one of those songs that I enjoy eventually, but it's annoying that it takes me half the song to get there, and I don't even find the latter half all that spectacular. It's just interesting enough to carry it up to Okay territory, and then it settles in there.

Russia: "I Won't Break" by Julia Samojlova - Congrats on actually getting to sing this time, Julia! Your song is... all right! It's Okay! Still proud of you for making it, though, even if I'm not overly excited about it!

San Marino: "Who We Are" by Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Oh this video is goofy. I love San Marino when they're goofy. It's no "Spirit Of The Night", but I don't think we're ever getting another "Spirit Of The Night", and the song's still fun. The rapping is hard to take seriously, but it adds a bit of cheesy flavor, and I do appreciate that. Firm Like!

Serbia: "Nova Deca" by Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - I have taken a full 90 seconds to think of anything to say about this, at which point the cool beat kicked in. I like the cool beat. Okay. I don’t like being mean to all the non-English ones, I gotta say something nice, all right?

Slovenia: "Hvala Ne" by Lea Sirk - This doesn't sound bad at all at first, but something about it gets old by the time it ends - it's like one catchy sound that wears its welcome quickly. Sometimes I get into it, sometimes I'm just not in the mood and I zone out. Okay.

Spain: "Tu Cancion" by Amaia & Alfred: Bored. Not as bored as when I listen to Portugal, but still bored. Indifferent.

Sweden: "Dance You Off" by Benjamin Ingrosso - Hello, low-rent Justin Timberlake! Okay, more like mid-rent? It's not like it's a bad song. Not the most fun "would fit in on American party radio" song ever in Eurovision, but it somehow clicks anyway. Probably a low Like, but a Like all the same!

Switzerland: "Stones" by ZiBBZ - It's not a major standout for me, but I can't say I dislike it, either. I can see why people like it! But I'm gonna say Okay, in a way that says more about its competition than the song itself. I far from hate it, but I can't quite put my finger on anything specific I love, either, so I'll put it there.

Ukraine: "Under The Ladder" by Melovin - It's a catchy one! I like how much life this one has to it. Like!

United Kingdom: Ah, hell, it's a cute one, so why not! I don't have much to say about it, but I think I Like it.

Songs in Like/Okay/Indifferent are capable of sliding into categories one above or below themselves, based on my generosity levels, mood, and, I dunno, my digestive status or something. My Loves are locked, though. No matter how politely Norway asks.

Looking forward to the show! And by that, I mean I'm looking forward to finding the results after I get home that Saturday!

[alexanderwrites]

Hack Job: Why Were Hacker Movies Ever A Thing?

Lately i’ve been thinking about that weird and almost completely failed subgenre of movie that attempted to light up the LCD screens of our hearts, but instead faded like a broken computer screen: the hacker film. Now, I could ask what good the sub-genre has ever done for us, but the answer to that is clear and just a few inches above this block of text. The genre birthed this iconic Matthew Lillard role from the movie Hackers, in which he plays a (wait for it!) hacker named...erm...Cereal Killer. Because....he likes Cereal? Sure, lets go with that! He’s a character described by June Diane Raphael on an episode of the podcast How Did This Get Made? as “Disgusting”, and she is not completely wrong. He is disgusting, bizarre and the strangest character Lillard has played, and i’m including Shaggy in the live action Scooby Doo films. He’s a character that must be experienced, and once experienced, never forgotten. I mean - you’ve seen what he fucking looks like. 

But my point remains: outside of Cereal Killer (I am bolding his name because he is an Important Man), the genre has offered up very little to the world. I admittedly know nothing at all about hacking, and I don’t care at all about Hacking, like, i’d presume, 90% of people currently residing here on earth. But I cannot imagine that people who love Hacking (or Hacker Fuckers, if you will) queuing up to see Hackers, a film that thinks this is what the internet looks like:

Now, i’m no city-slickin’ mouse-clickin’ hacker, but I don’t think that’s what the internet looks like. I could be wrong, and character actor Fisher Stevens (I was about to write “beloved” character actor, but then I remembered Short Circuit) could be skating through a flashing pillar of internet right now. It’s a cool thought! Hackers came along in 1995, when future optimism was higher than it had been in years, as everyone believed the tech-bubble would never burst (spoiler alert: it did!) and that the new millennium would bring a world of positive changes and possibilities. The poor, innocent souls of 1995 could never have possibly imagined the true horrors waiting for them on the other side of the millennium...

But before Fred Durst became a thing in a hat that you had to look at, technology was booming, affordable and exciting. You got transparent Macs that allowed you to see through into the mechanical nonsense inside it. The new fangled e-mail gave us (I don’t know why i’m saying “us”. I was 3 years old in 1995. Babies don’t get emails) all the opportunity to open your email and then close it again as many times as you liked! So this is what producers saw when they started making movies like Hackers. They put their strongest marketing minds together and came up with “People got computers now. Make comPUTER FILM!”. Those wild bastards actually went and did it! And weirdly, Hackers was kinda ahead of its time. It might’ve been wildly inaccurate in almost every possible way, but it paved the way for a wave of (well, like 3) films. The Matrix wouldn’t be released for another 4 years, and Swordfish a further 2. If it did incite a trend, it was the only trend started by Director Iain Softley, his later film K-Pax tragically failing to kick start a new genre of films in which Kevin Spacey eats bananas with their skins still on.

Good stuff! Hackers does feel like a film that is unsure of whether it’s trying to replicate fads or start them off. I mean, characters rollerblade everywhere for no apparent reason in the film. That might be something Hackers do? I’ve never seen Mr Robot, so I cannot categorically say that Rami Malek doesn’t rollerblade his way around town like a Starlight Express extra who really hates computers. But I doubt it. So with the rollerblading, and the way....ugh...Cereal Killer dresses, it seems like the film is offering you up its own funky ideas that you could follow on from if you want to get murdered on the streets. Did its aesthetic style have influence? Was the game Jet Set Radio from 2000 and its rollerblading theme influenced at all by Hackers? Did Eminem see Johnny Lee Miller’s bleached blonde hair in the film (quick deeply important side note: his character is named Dade. DADE.) and think “huh. that would really compliment my insufferable personality!”? We’ll never know. The film is a weird exercise in style and trends, and the soundtrack, crammed with The Prodidgy and Underworld, is proof that at least the soundtrack department had its finger on the pulse. And, it could be argued that the film’s costume department at least came up with some creative cyber-punk clothing, and were bold enough to make Penn Jillette look like this:

The thing is, I liked the weirdness of it all, I like this misfires in capturing modern life, and inaccuracy doesn’t bother me really if a film is fun enough. I’m not a stickler for realism. I didn’t sit down to Face/Off and complain that it’s totally unbelievable that John Travolta is a human person. That’s not the issue. The issue, really is that with all the giant screen Playstations, pounding trance tracks and references to Coca Cola (weird, I thought Mountain Dew would be the Hacker’s choice), the film is in troubled water because of the fact that Hacking is unbelievably, deeply fucking boring. It is not interesting in seeing someone go clickety clack on a keyboard and make occasional faces to indicate that “oh no! the mainframe is busting my chops!” or “Huzzah! I clicked the mouse really fast just now!”.

Thankfully, the film has some fairly decent editing which intersperses the clickety-clacking with some long exposure, sped up shots of New York City just in case you forgot it was the 90′s. The fact that they need to cut away to exciting, zooming shots that have nothing to do with anything highlights the fact that the Director and Editor knew exactly what i’m talking about: HACKING IS FUCKING BORING (if you’re a hacker reading this, please don’t hack me). And they’ve built an entire film around it! A whole nonsensical plot which involves (as far as i can remember) big ships and evil corporations that want to sink the big ships is built on Hacking. Thank god this film is so wildly ridiculous, which keeps it from being entirely boring. It’s smart in that it knows to not make the film actually about hacking, but then you kind of ask yourself the question: why is this film about Hacking at all? Why is it called Hackers? Maybe a better name would’ve been ‘Bladin’ Teenz’, as an ode to their endless rollerblading. It’s a fun film, but a dumb film and proof that films entirely about hacking cannot really work.

The Matrix was a wise film. Exploiting that hip, late-90s techno excitement that everyone was buzzing over, it featured a hacker at its centre who really doesn’t do much hacking at all. In fact, Morpheus might as well have said “You Hack? Dude fucking grow up. Come on, i’ll make you a treat”. Sure, you’ve got the iconic green gibberish that turns up on the computers and would inspire a million shitty screensavers, but again the hacking is intercut with other action going on in the film. You have characters typing away and yelling shit like “I’m nearly in!” or “i’m not nearly in!” or “I am unsure of whether I am, in fact, in, nearly in, or not nearly in!”. But that is manageable and minimal, and in the end there’s so much more to remember about The Matrix that I don’t think anyone, when asked what it’s about, would say “Oh it’s about Keanu Reeves hacking on his dell”. It understood this caveat, and created its own style which would influence every single music video ever produced over the next 5 years.

These are screenshots from the video for Don’t Wanna Let You Go by 5ive, a very bad UK Boy-band that had 4 singers and 1 rapper, all of whom it’s safe to assume have passed away. 

The Matrix had the style, and the smarts to sidestep bland hacking scenes. You know what film doesn’t understand that hacking is boring? Fucking Swordfish.

Fucking Swordfish. A film so aesthetically ugly and repulsive in every way that it does the unthinkable and makes you hate Hugh Jackman. But it commits the biggest sin of all by giving John Travolta a teeny tiny beard - a decision which we still feel the fallout from today, whenever a new red carpet photo arrises of John’s new chin abomination. 

Looking like a cup of concentrated Michael Bay piss, the film leans heavily into stylishness - or lack thereof. Hugh Jackman is basically...sigh...DADE in the movie, and Travolta is regularly outfitted with funny sunglasses. It borrows a lot from Hackers, but while that had a naive, 1995 goofy charm, Swordfish is an aggressively stupid and oblivious movie, that gives us a LOT of Hacking. Like...so much Hacking. The Most Hacking. Oh, The Fucking Hacking. Its a reminder of just how boring Hackers or The Matrix could’ve been if they’d fallen into the wrong hands, and a big, horribly colour-corrected reminder that films about hacking really aren’t the best. Instead of cutaways of cityscapes, Swordfish tries to build the tension during one hacking scene in the grossest way possible: by having Hugh Jackman’s character receive forced fellatio while he works, and while John Travolta smiles. It doesn’t make a boring scene exciting, it makes a boring scene fucking disgusting (the movie’s grossness doesn’t stop there. Halle Berry was heavily pushed into taking her top off in the movie, and promised extra money if she did it.). The Hackers method of randomised cutaways feels a million miles away during these scenes, and you will be willing to pay any earthly sum to make the scene unfolding in front of you stop. Maybe that’s how hackers should make their money from here on in: stop hacking, and just start blackmailing people by forcing them to watch Swordfish. Fucking Swordfish.

The movie was also a bit of a death knell for a subgenre that never really took off. People realised “Oh, this is dull and crap to watch!” when it came to hacking, and technology moved on rapidly that there was a lot more to do with it than watch some guy slapping the keys of his iMac. I find it a really interesting subgenre to look back at, because i’m a huge fan of outdated technologies, fashion styles, turn of the millennium culture, and really quite poor films (besides The Matrix which holds up nicely). Hollywood has tried to make a manner of subjects interesting. Stock markets. Fishing. White people who buy zoos. Some work, some don’t, and it’s all about the way the subject is handled. Because of their reliance on technology, these hacking films feel so dated that maybe Hollywood doesn’t want to risk dipping its toes back into the cyberwaters again. I kind of hope they don’t, because I would literally rather never see a film again than have to even know that a film about Anonymous is being made. I don’t want an ‘edgy’ modern movie that’s made for Banksy to watch while he plunges his hands down his pants and goes to town. I want silly old Cereal Killer and towers of nonsense computer language dammit! I want rollerblading, coke-drinking cyberpunks! Oh well. Whatever happens to the genre, at the very least, we’ll always have Dade and The Gang....