#bisexual but with more words

[likeastars]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THE GUY WHO HAS TREATED ADA THE BEST UP UNTIL NOW WAS FUCKING- ugh. Give me a second. *swallows a bit of vomit* ok ok. I'm good. no wait- blegh. ok. ahem. FUCKING MONTRESOR?????????

[atthecenterofeverything]

"even if you don't personally identify with the label x, it's important to have a word to describe our common experiences. it's crucial we have a word we can all rally under. if it objectively describes you, it's useful as a way to organize and find community"

why is this label, specifically, and not another, considered the gold standard? what rhetorical weight does the idea of an "objective description" pull? when did this specific label arise and under what material conditions? what do the majority of the people who identify with this term look like? where do they come from and where do they live? what language is this label in? who do you include in those "common experiences", and who do you exclude? what taxonomizing system does identifying with this label make you a part of - what other words are the counterparts to your label within this system, and how did they arise? how have these systems been imposed and maintained throughout history, and in parallel to which other violent phenomena? what does it imply about the permanence of the self or a certain coherence of experiences throughout one's life? where does the idea of identity-based organizing (of fighting back based on a word we all find ourselves in) come from? where does the idea of identifying come from? how would you handle someone enduring violence who refuses, flatly, to claim this term or any other that you understand as coherent and in good faith? how would you handle someone enduring violence who claims that their label is the one that should be the gold standard, and everyone else should adapt to it? do you assume that everyone refusing any engagement with your taxonomizing system is unserious, apolitical, privileged, stupid, short-sighted, idealist? since when, and why?

[bisclavret]

like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨

i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.

my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.

furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?

following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!

then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.

but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.

even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.

you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.

arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.

and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?

lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.

morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!

with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).

and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.

then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.

imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen — now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.

all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)

in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.

and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.

merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!

[not-so-superheroine]

the ben 10 mpreg episode is frequently on my mind. it pops up at random intervals.

like the necrofriggian babies just fucked off to the other side of the universe and were mentioned in passing once later on. twice if you count the video games. seems like a significant event, but it's just back to business in the next episode. "save the last dance" is also known as one of the best episodes in the series (if not the best of alien force overall) and not just for the babies. also for the impactful character interactions and relationship development.

wild.

also, ben is only 15 years old in alien force. that's almost one baby for every year he's been alive (he has 14 of them). i will never get over that. unforgettable.

[shrugsinchinese]

Older Wulfstrid is a yaoi couple in a yuri kind of way

[blarrghe]

I also really like dorian's kind of similar plot re: culture and family clashes due to essentially homophobia but really a more complex identity issue that doesn't fit within his rigid society. I don't not like that narrative. I've played around in that plot a whole lot actually, it pulls a certain very relatable heartstring. but I think the way it's presented with Taash felt a lot more like someone else's narrative pasted over their character, like the Qun as a culture was a secondary backdrop piece to a story that would be told anyway, and really better fits someone else. I don't want to make assumptions about the writer because I do think people are capable and largely should be allowed to write about experiences that aren't their own or that are influenced by cultures that aren't their own. but while Dorian remains staunchly Tevinter, reclaiming his identity and fighting for his place in his society, Taash's framing seems to imply that if a rigid culture won't have you, you need to identify outside of it entirely.

To me, this is a narrative I see most often from people whose experience with an identity crisis happened within modern (American) Christianity, where the cultural background is really only the kind of consumerist western secular Christianity we're all stuck with. Often, leaving the church is akin to leaving a cult, and dropping the philosophies and beliefs of your upbringing is a necessary part of accepting your own identity. To portray the Qun this way, which is an incredibly rigid society with very clear collectivist philosophies, does almost work, because there is a black and white frame at play from within that culture. Even though it's got clear ethnic roots, leaving the Qun makes you not Qunari in a very clear-cut way.

However, Taash and their mother specifically introduce the concept of deep cultural roots, ritual practices, and a personal connection to the heritage of the Qun even from outside its governance, which added a depth to that issue we hadn't yet seen. And then I as Rook get to be the one to say to Taash -- be an individual, actually. Who cares what anyone thinks? For a game that's really trying to talk like my counselling psychology textbooks, that's really not how you're supposed to address someone who clearly does still care about their cultural roots and the collective. And I don't know that I need to address Taash like a trained therapist who respects their respect for their mother, I can say "fuck your mom and her worldview" if I want, and many people might, I don't mind my non-Qunari character getting the option to have a bias and not understand the Qun, but that adopting that stance is the only way that Taash can be who they are feels telling of the bias this entire game is written with.

Additionally, the Qun being so preoccupied with role and purpose in previous lore actually gave it a kind of flexibility that feels entirely forgotten -- in Qunari philosophy, if you feel that you "are" something you are not "supposed" to be, then in gist it turns out that you are that thing. We see this in how elves are drawn to it because their aptitudes will be respected over their race, and in the discussion Bull gives us about how Krem's birth sex wouldn't matter in the Qun because he meets the criteria of male warrior first ("the Shadow Dragons have some fancy term for it", Taash tells me. Didn't the Qunari have one too? In fact, theirs is the only term I remember hearing.) There's a sense that place in the Qun is determined by essentially what the Qun sees your soul as being. How they would deal with a soul that's in two places at once or isn't one thing or another is an interesting question. Unfortunately it feels a lot like retconning to say "they just wouldn't answer it and would make you try to fit what you were born looking like". The Qun is this really interesting ultra-rational set of minimally spiritual governing philosophies that is flawed because by that very nature it is also oppressive, because people don't work on ultra rationalism and complete collectivism, and any iteration of a top-down governing body forcing order in a society begets corruption. It leaves a lot of room for potential stories about learning to break away and follow your own path without losing your respect for the better (egalitarian) principles that raised you. But Taash's isn't that story.

I do think an identity struggle narrative where someone has to figure out how to refuse to fit into something they're not is a compelling one, and one the Qun has given us before, but that's been in its flaws as being a deterministic society that doesn't allow for a lot of independent ambition. That looks different, I think, from what felt a lot more like run-of-the-mill (western) sexism. What exactly does the Qun say a woman should be? The Qun has previously presented as almost entirely sex-egalitarian. A nuturing person is a tammassarin, etc. And living outside the Qun while still attempting to keep its values and rituals alive shouldn't look, I think, like your mom insisting you be a girl even though you don't feel like one. What is a girl to Taash's mom? And why is it dresses? I'm just not really buying it in this context, even though its a relatable story that pulls a good heartstring, and may in fact be a very relatable thing to many nonwhite people or nonchristian cultures that do display gender essentialism and homophobia. gender essentialism and homophobia isn't just a white christian thing (though it was often the product of colonialism, that doesn't mean it hasn't taken on significantly entwined cultural precedence from there within nonchristian or nonwhite cultures), but combating it with fierce individualism and a rejection of culture and worldview...kinda is.

And it is disappointing, because the illustration of those feelings and the kindness of a likeminded response that you are able to give (if you play nonbinary as I do at least, but I assume even if not) is so novel and so heartfelt and so touchingly sweet. I think the personal discussion over these feelings and the insecurity, anger, and confusion that they come packaged with when your community doesn't allow for them is incredibly needed right now. I really like Taash's character, and I like their conflict with their mother. I just don't think it fits the context it's been put in, and I don't think its resolution is cognizant of its own worldbuilding, and that feeling of being slapped on does the whole thing a disservice.

And the part I don't think I have the time to get into right now, but which bears at least touching on, is that the cultures given these narratives of cult-adjacency and fighting for personal freedom are never the one that is very obviously based on Christianity/Catholicism and is the dominant one of the world. Tevinter is Andrastian, yes, but Dorian's homophobia narrative isn't religiously motivated, it's an issue of class and expectation. this is fine. but it becomes a lot more questionable when all the rigidity and homophobia in the world only happens to brown people or their cultural stand-ins. and when it happens, both times, in a way that is honestly very white.

[imissthekillj0ys]

(all pictures are not mine)

ITS GAY MONTH

[lgbtqtext]

[rynndom-ace]

Reminder to myself (and anyone else who needs it)

LABELS ARE OPTIONAL

ALL labels are optional & opt-in

You don't have to use a label you don't want to use even if you technically fit under it.

You can pick & choose which ones you want, you can make up new ones & you can use contradictory labels!

And! Labels can & do change! And that is fine! Be that because you have found words that work better for you or because you have changed! That's all good! You are allowed to change & you are the only one who can truly decide which words fit you.

[gothamite-rambler]

W.I.P. for Cults, Mazes, and Relationships

It won't be written like this on ao3, but I needed an excuse to start working on this fanfic and posting here usually helps.

Barbara answered her phone while watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Barbara: Hey Tim, what’s the reason for calling me on my day off?

Tim (panicked): Bernard got kidnapped by that cult, still active, by the way. That's great, right? I'm so glad the pain cult leaders aren't rotting in prison. I made it back to the apartment, I was going to ask him to move in, I’m pretty sure he knows I’m Robin, and I’m freaking out!

Barbara sighed, pausing her show as she calmly rolled over to her laptop.

Barbara: Take deep breaths to calm down. Inhale slowly, then exhale the panic out of your body.

Tim practiced deep breathing, pacing in his apartment as he read the note card Bernard had left. It was a crudely written note, with random pen marks indicating he had been dragged away. Seeing this made Tim breathe heavily, his hand trembling with rage.

Tim: If they kill him for a Greek god, I’m going to fucking nuke their building with all of them in it!

Barbara (tight smile, ringing her ear): Hey, I’m not deaf, and you need to watch what you’re saying in the heat of the moment. We’re going to find him. And we need to talk about the fact that he might know you’re Robin, later though.

Tim: Okay, okay, okay. I think I’ll drink some tea, my body’s shaking.

Barbara (grabbing her iced coffee): Yeah, probably best to avoid caffeine right now.

That was fun to write, let me know what you think and yes in this Bernard and Tim will finally tell each other... well you know that Tim is Robin lol.

[gingermintpepper]

As upset as I am about the erasure of Apollo in greek myth media (and trust me, I am always upset about it) at least I can take solace in the fact that there won't ever be a 'modern, feminist' retelling of stories like Apollo/Melia, Apollo/Evadne or Apollo/Branchus because that would require those sorts of authors to do more than a single google search to find summaries of their tales to fuck up.

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Supposedly evil bad guys Grime and Sasha having a much healthier and more loving father-daughter relationship than supposedly good guys Andrias and Marcy is something so precious to me.

[denniswithoutmakeup]

bringing back my magnum opus because i fall in love with him all over again 100 times harder every time i watch it

[hypokeimena]

about to be insane but why is everyone saying eric bogosian came out as bi. he did not do that. like he pretty specifically did not do that. you can just say he came out, nonspecifically. which is what happened.

[onedeadkitty]

Mizus Gender

He/him they/them she/her pronouns for Mizu

I know the writers of the show wrote blue eye samurai with Mizu as a woman disguised as a man in a way similar ish to Mulan but uh

They accidentally made it deeper than that ??

If you removed like 2 lines of dialogue in episode 5 you could even make an argument for trans masc Mizu. Or at the least gender queer.

Being transgender is not a concept in this time period. But trust. People have always wanted to be other genders, probably for the entirety of human history. And how someone would go about being trans in a world with no true understanding of the concept, might be similar to what Mizu IS DOING RIGHT NOW.

Living as a man. PERMANENTLY. Not temporarily to achieve some near goal like Mulan and the many other stories with this concept. Mizu has lived as a man nearly their entire life and no intention to ever live as a woman in the future.

Mizu admires their freshly binded chest in the mirror as a teen.

When alone Mizu refers to himself as a man.

When alone with Ringo, (someone who knows the secret) Ringo also refers to Mizu as a man.

Mizu threatens to straight kill Ringo at the the very use of the word “girl”.

When, and ONLY when seeing 2 MEN kiss does he think of Taigen.

Not to mention madame Kajis indelicate insinuation of gay sex to Mizu, something I believe wasn’t for no reason. OR Madams iconic line “you are more man than ANY come through my door” (I’m convinced she has an idea of Mizus true sex but doesn’t care to accuse or call them out for it)

They HAD lived as a woman in the past. Only for about a year, and they did it to get married for her mothers sake. To save her from a life of prostitution. She was able to be happy, because it IS POSSIBLE to be happy while not presenting how you like. It’s a strain and some can never be happy doing so but it’s possible and people do it all the time to make their lives easier or to keep the peace with family or for many other reasons.

Episode 5 gave HUGE VIBES of going back into the closet when living with your parents or just visiting. And Mizu looked SO uncomfortable and awkward in woman’s clothing and doing “wife things” (partly cause they have never done that before) and maybe it was my own projecting but I felt so uncomfortable FOR Mizu.

These things don’t necessarily mean being a transgender man specifically. Gender is actually really complicated and has ALOT to do with what society deems it.

Mizu is a masculine person. Being what Japan wants women to be isn’t in line with what Mizu is. A violent, practical, stoic, cold, masculine, confident and capable warrior.

dressing up as a woman with the makeup ONLY to try and make her husband happy. She didn’t WANT to. “To soften her husbands heart, the bride… danced” performed femininity FOR HIM. Only for Mikio to betray her for, in his eyes, being more masculine than him, by beating him in a physical fight.

Mizu is both the ronin and the bride. Mizu will be whatever they need to in order to achieve their owed deaths. They HAVE to be a man to get their revenge but that doesn’t mean Mizu WANTS to be a woman. (To be fair who WOULD in that time but I digress) and it doesn’t mean they WANT to be a man. They WANT their revenge. Everything is secondary to that.

Mizu is so different from other characters…

I grew up in a kinda misogynistic place and my mom really didn’t let me “do boy stuff” or dress masculine in any sense until my late teens. I my self don’t know if I can even call myself Trans. But I’m masculine, I like looking like a man and dressing as one but I don’t WANT to be a man necessarily. But I don’t WANT to be a woman. I feel like we as a society put to much distinction between the two and the people who don’t fit either side get left out at times.

Mizu is such a relatable character to me, like no other characters complicated feelings about their own sex and gender have ever come close.

They are for those who don’t have a strong sense of their own gender. Especially those who are biologically female and hesitant to lean into their sex because of the societal baggage.

Once people realize that how you dress, how you act, and what you do in reality have nothing to do with your bio sex and everything with what society has forced people to do based on factors out of our control is the day we can finally stop having these conversations.

Do what you want, gender is fake.

But Mizu is forever 🫶

[mordredsheart]

juan borgia as played by david oakes if i’m honest