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icallhimjoey · 2 years

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Ik ik you won't continue the only temporary series but maybe just a cute little something where they're watching stranger things together for the first time and after that she thinks about renaming her cat... Just all fluffy and funny with these two idiots x

shit, i couldnt resist this Wordcount: 1.2K

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Meeting Eddie

"Oh no," you sat up after pausing your TV and angled yourself to face Joe who was sat next to you. You'd just finished watching Eddie's first appearance on screen, the now infamous cafeteria scene, you’d learnt, and you realised that the worst thing had happened.

"I think I love him," you pouted. Even though you weren’t sure about the American accent on him, you instantly fancied Eddie, and Joe could only smile.

You were sat on your cathair-covered sofa in your flat, Eddie curled up on Joe's lap. You'd been cuddled up together until the boys on screen mentioned Eddie. You'd sat up slightly and had made big eyes at Joe. "Just keep watching," Joe had laughed then, almost timidly, like he was shy, which you knew he very muchly wasn't.

You'd seen him chat to your family about his work for that entire evening at your dad's party and although his demeanour had always been humble, he had seemed to really enjoy chatting about it. After all the Eddie Munson mentions that night, mainly from your brother who seemed unable to shut up about it, you decided for yourself you needed to at least know what all the fuss was about. You'd started season one on a random afternoon, bored out of you mind with nothing better to do, and had quickly been sucked into the series. Franky, you were gobsmacked that you hadn't watched it any sooner.

"He's a charmer, isn't he?" Joe said at your confession, as if he were talking about someone else, because that's what you'd done too.

Stranger Things had been a wild ride, there’d been nothing like it you’d ever seen before. You’d binged all of it, way too fast to be considered healthy behaviour.

Whilst watching season two, you'd fallen in love with Bob, only to be crushed when he didn't make it in the end. It hadn't made you cry, but it had affected your mood enough for Joe to poke fun. “Is this because a fictional character was killed off in a TV series?” Joe’d said, eyeing the two empty wine bottles on your kitchen counter after finding you, sulking on your sofa, cradling Eddie against your face. “Shut up,” was all you’d grumbled back at him.

In season three, you'd been weary to not get invested. Not after Bob's death. But you really liked Alexei, a man of simple needs: he just wanted his slurpee and his burger, and it was embarrassing how well you'd related to him. Seeing Murray leave him unattended at the fun fair, only for him to get fatally shot had you shouting at your TV. Especially because you realised you should have absolutely seen it coming, after what had happened to Bob.

You had watched most of the first three seasons alone, and Joe would check in from time to time, ask you which episode you were on, calculating if he was going to be able to watch season four with you. His stay at your flat was still only temporary, after all.

Now, watching the premier episode of season four, you found yourself on a slippery slope.

“He’s going to die, isn’t he?”

Joe just pressed his lips together and tried his best to not let his eyes do the talking for him, like they so often would.

“No, tell me he doesn’t die,” you eyed Joe’s face closely for any clues, and when Joe slowly broke into a wide grin, you let yourself fall into the back of the sofa and groaned loudly.

“He’s going to die,” you concluded, not entirely sure of yourself, but sure enough to let it bother you. “They always get rid of the new person – Billy, Bob, Alexei,” you listed them using your fingers. “Eddie’s not the only new character this season,” Joe quipped, and you rolled your head against the backrest to look Joe in the eye.

“Murray didn’t die, Robin didn’t die- they introduce new characters every season, not all of them are there just to be killed off in the same set of episodes,” Joe defended his character.

You narrowed your eyes at him, entirely not trusting what he was doing. “If you’re going to convince me to get invested in Eddie, only for him to die on me, you’ve got another thing coming,” your threat was completely empty, but it made Joe laugh as he pulled you back into him, slinging an arm around your body and squeezing you into his chest.

You pressed play and watched the rest of the episode together.

The last minutes of that first episode had you hiding behind your hands and pushing your back firmly into the sofa, a feeble attempt to escape whatever horrendous shit was playing out on screen. It made Joe move his arm in front of you, placing his hand over the outside of your leg furthest away from him. This way you had a bit of his body to hide behind.

Then, the credits rolled, and it was silent for a second. Joe paused the TV before Netflix skipped onto the next episode.

“And? Thoughts?”

“What the fuck was that?” you panted.

“Did you like it?” You weren’t sure if Joe meant the episode, or his performance as an American high schooler.

“That was fucking frightening,” you said and took another second to compose yourself. Joe said something about filming that last scene of the episode; how he’d been first shown it when they were still creating the show and how he thought Netflix would never allow them to leave the scene in. Clearly, he’d been wrong.

A short silence fell.

“I hate how good of an actor you are,” you huffed a laugh as you sat up, aware of how ridiculous of a compliment it was for Joe. It was a relief to you that he was actually good, because your actor ex-boyfriend had been godawful at it, you thought. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to shake the memories of his taped auditions he’d make you watch. Thinking back to it now would still make you cringe.

“He doesn’t even really look like you,” you said, squeezing one eye shut to laser focus on his features, scanning his face to see if you were wrong. You weren’t.

“Um, he’s got my face,” Joe scoffed.

“Barely,” you dryly replied and your eyes fell on your cat on Joe’s lap, still absolutely content there and seemingly fast asleep. You used a finger to softly pet the space in between his eyes.

“Eddie’s very sexy,” you then said, not looking up at Joe.

“Your Eddie or my Eddie?” Joe joked, and you scrunched up your nose and chuckled at the differentiation Joe made. You then leant over and pressed your face into Eddie’s fur and nuzzled. No matter how many of your neighbours absolutely despised your cat because he’d hiss and growl at them if they’d even so much as looked in his direction, you loved him. And you loved that Eddie seemed to really love Joe.

“Maybe I should start calling him Ed,” you then said, now using your hand to stroke the full length of him. “Don’t you dare,” Joe immediately objected. “I’ve already told everyone about him,” Joe got in on the petting, and your hands danced around each other as you both lovingly touched his fur. You imagined how those conversations would’ve gone and giggled. All of the hands roaming his body woke Eddie up.

“Ed,” you tried the name.

“Do not,” Joe warned.

“Bob?” you tried, giggles stuck high up in your throat.

“Eddie.” Joe corrected, absolutely not having it and squeezing your thigh, making the giggles sneak out. Okay, so you weren’t actually considering renaming him, but you would pretend that you were, just for more of Joe’s squeezes.

“Ready for another?” Joe then asked, fishing the remote control from the sofa cushions in between you.

You told Joe to wait a second, took a moment to refill your wine glasses – “Tone’s been set for this season, I’m going to need this if I want to avoid nightmares.” – passed Joe’s glass to him and settled back into his side before he pressed play.

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thelovetheystole · 2 months

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I mean, I wish them well in finding actors who wants to stick around to "cement the Sugdens back in the village" and even be Aaron's "happy ever after". But the track record of this show holding on to new characters or actors from 2014 to now isn't great, is it?

I'm repeating myself a little from a previous post here but...

How many of the new additions from the last 10ish years are likely to want to be "lifers"? (Like I consider Cain, Chas, Charity, Belle, Paddy, Rhona, Laurel, Marlon, Sam Bob, Eric and maybe Victoria and Aaron to be.)

Lydia? Probably. Liam, Charles and Manpreet? Maybe. Caleb and Ruby? I have no idea. Matty? Perhaps.

But Will? Wendy? Vinny? Suzy? Mary? Ella? Ryan? Gail? Bear? Claudette? Rose? Even Billy, Dawn and Mackenzie? Will they stick around? Do people want them to? Do the producers see longterm futures for them?

They lost or got rid of all the new Bartons; James, Finn, Emma, Ross and Pete. Robert, Chrissie, Lachlan and the whole White family, Gerry, Carly, Jessie, Ellis, Al, Nicky, Suni, Ethan, Liv, Leanna, Chloe, Joe, Graham, Jamie, Andrea, Faith, Luke, Ben, Marcus, Naomi, Nate is going soon, definitely Tom as well, the list goes on...

They also killed off Rishi, who actually had great potential to be a "lifer". Other older and/or longterm characters were lost too during these 10ish years, like Debbie (and Jack jr), Andy, Holly, Donna, Adam, Alicia, Harriet, Ashley, Priya, Bernice, Diane, Doug, David etc.

Will John Sugden become a longterm character that will still be here in 10 or even 5 years? I'm not exactly holding my breath.

#emmerdale #tlts thoughts on emmerdale #john sugden

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brandstifter-sys · 4 months

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I'm Here, You're Safe

@dukexietyweek Day 5 - Horror

Word Count: 4307 (Ao3)

Rating: T+

Characters: Roman, Remus, Virgil

Pairing: Dukexiety

Warnings: Major Character Death, abuse mention, religious abuse mention, gore, body horror, spiders, cannibalism (sorta), spider!Virgil, transformation, sex mention

Please heed the warnings.

Remus would rather be anywhere than the place he grew up, but his brother needs his help clearing the old house out after their mother passed away. The horrors in his head have to be worse than reality, don't they?

---

Sometimes Remus wondered if he was cursed. Sometimes he wondered if the monster under the bed was real. At least one monster was out of his life forever.

Remus really did not want to come here. The old dingy house was so far removed from civilization, surrounded by trees. He could still see the tire hanging from the large oak in front of the porch, and he could see a black SUV parked beside it.

So Roman got here first. At least he wouldn't have anything nice to say about her either. Remus decided that maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

He parked his old truck next to Roman’s car and got out, expecting the noise would summon his brother.

When Roman didn't come running to scold him, Remus figured he was lost in old memories. That was something Remus couldn't bring himself to do.

He wanted to jump back in his truck and leave the bitter past behind. His mother was dead and she could rot, just like this house.

He loathed the creak of the old steps as he approached the weathered old door. The last time he heard that sound he was running for his life. The last time he was ready to kill.

But any negative feelings faded when he reached for the handle. There was a jumping spider sitting on it, staring at him.

“Hey little lady,” he chuckled softly, “Pardon me, I need to get inside.” He grabbed the handle carefully and turned it, but the spider didn't move. And she didn't move when he stepped inside and released the handle.

“Thank you, sweetie!” he giggled and waved to the spider before closing the door. His real challenge was just beginning.

The hall was similar to the day he ran away. The hardwood was a little worse for wear and the staircase to his right was covered in cobwebs, but the fake plant and umbrella can were still there. The old walking stick was still in the corner, and it still had brown dried blood on it. His blood.

And then there was the door under the stairs that led to the basement. Remus' blood ran cold as he stared at it. The cruelty of hell couldn't compare to the memories that basement held. His usually disquiet mind screamed at him, flashing glimpses into his past right before his eyes.

“I'm here, you're safe now” words meant to soothe him after breaching the surface in tears

“There you are!” Roman's irate voice cut through his fog. He was in the archway that led to the den, hair out of place and eyes red from exhaustion.

“I called and told you there was a tractor in front of me. Or maybe you wanted me to run over old Billy Bob Joe Bob,” Remus scoffed. Check your voicemail before you get pissy.”

Roman sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew better than anyone that it was a miracle Remus even agreed to help.

“Fine. I already sorted through the china and knickknacks and gathered the documents in the safe,” Roman said with a yawn, “We still have to clear the basement and move the majority of the furniture to your truck.”

“It's a lot of work for this dump,” Remus commented and stretched his arms above his head.

“And you only have to deal with it for one day,” Roman huffed.

“Did you find a motel around here?” Remus pouted. The drive here was not an easy one.

“My bed is still upstairs. It's the only room I cleared of spiders. They're everywhere!” Roman said with a shudder.

“That's why you need me—to clear the basement, isn't it?” Remus pouted. That was the last place he wanted to go.

Roman said nothing and returned to the den. That was certainly one of the reasons he needed Remus there. He also needed Remus' truck, his old little piece of shit truck. They had to remove some furniture.

Remus relented and followed him further inside. His skin crawled when he saw how little had changed. Sure, everything was covered in webs and dust, but that was the only stuff he didn't remember. The old TV was still standing on a stand. The crosses and religious pictures still hung on the wall behind it. The old armchair was still positioned right in front of it. He almost didn't want to get a closer look at that chair.

“It's odd,” Roman said from the kitchen, “She died in that chair at least three years ago but it looks rather pristine.”

“That's really weird,” Remus agreed and peeked at the seat of the chair. There were no stains, only dust. It didn't even smell like a body rotted away in it. The only thing that stood out was a large orb weaver spider crawling on the arm.

“We're throwing it out regardless. Who would want to sit on that?” Roman scoffed, “This is disgusting work.”

Remus stepped into the kitchen and saw that Roman was throwing away old food from the cabinets. He was scowling at the unopened cans, reading the expiration dates and then throwing them in a large black trash bag.

“So what do you want me to do now?” Remus asked and sat on the kitchen table.

“You can clear the fridge or start in the basement—go through the boxes and see if there's anything of value,” Roman said and grabbed an open cereal box, “Albums, antiques, anything like—

Dear Zeus!”

Remus jolted when Roman threw the box across the room, letting it skid across the floor to the back door.

“What the hell?” Remus snapped.

And then he saw exactly what scared Roman. A large wolf spider crawled out of the cereal box. She had a ton of spiderlings on her back and she was trying to get away.

Roman grabbed a can and held it, ready to attack.

“Put that down—she won't hurt you,” Remus scoffed and got up. He knelt by the spider and held out his hand. He was pleasantly surprised when she crawled onto his palm.

“How can you stand to touch that thing?!” Roman yelped and inched away from him.

“Easily. It's like holding a hamster,” Remus responded and stepped out the back door. He set the spider down on the porch.

“You take care, Momma, keep yourself safe,” he said softly and went back inside.

“This house is infested!” Roman complained and slumped against the counter pathetically. Remus rolled his eyes and grabbed a trash bag. He was going to deal with the fridge.

“It's not so bad, and they're easy to relocate,” Remus said and braced himself. Whatever was left in the fridge would be fouler than a few leggy babies.

He expected the rancid stench of rotting meat, the sour odor of curdled milk and yogurt. There would be mold and mildew, maggots and rotting vegetables.

He should have grabbed some gloves and a mask, but he couldn't bring himself to care when he wrapped his fingers around the handle.

EEEEK!

Roman screeched when Remus flung the door open and hundreds—no thousands—of spiders poured out of the refrigerator.

“Looks like no food went to waste!” Remus beamed as the spiders scurried across the floor and up his leg.

“How are you so calm around these beasts!?” Roman panted, clutching his heart.

“Because they're harmless. They might look creepy crawly but they're doing their own thing,” Remus countered and peeked in the fridge. It was completely empty, save for a ton of webs, a bottle of hot sauce and a couple styrofoam meat packages. Clearly the spiders had their fill!

“Get down from there,” Remus scoffed and grabbed everything from the fridge. He promptly tossed the garbage in Roman's trash bag and dusted off his hands.

“You and your spiders!” Roman huffed and got his feet on the floor, “They’re menaces, just like you.”

“You wound me, dear brother!” Remus laughed and went back to double check the fridge. He didn't want to remind Roman that he was worse than just a menace growing up. Their mother was one of those fire and brimstone types, and he was the epitome of sinful.

“Oh please, I could never land a hit on you. Besides, I left your old room as it is, so you can roll around in all your spiders.”

“You cleared your room?” Remus paused and glanced back at him. Roman was throwing away old cans and boxes, acting like he was focused on his task.

“As I told you before, yes. I used up all my hairspray and accidentally set the curtains on fire. But I was able to get a few hours of rest,” Roman said flatly. Remus shuddered at the idea. He knew what it felt like to burn.

His back was still scarred, just like his psyche.

Fire...

“That's fucked up, and that's coming from me!” Remus said and closed the empty fridge with shaking hands. He still had a few spiders crawling on his leg, tickling him, keeping him from slipping into dark memories. It wasn't working.

“I would be more merciful if it were just one or two, but they were quite literally everywhere. I had to do it if I wanted to sleep.”

“The old bag of bones thought she had to do so many things, and she didn't!” Remus snapped and slammed his fist against the fridge. Roman was taken aback.

“Remus,” Roman said gently, “perhaps you should take a few minutes outside. I don't know the full extent of what happened to you here, but I can see it's bothering you.”

“Of course you don't! You're Mommy's little angel. If you want to know what fucked up shit happened look in the basement. We both know you never went down there!” Remus snarled and grabbed at his hair.

“Remus—” Roman hesitated. Remus was shaking, his knees knocking together. He had tears running down his cheeks.

“If you want to burn the spiders, burn the whole house down with them!” Remus huffed and stormed out the back door.

Roman was left with a slack jaw. He never really paid attention to the times when he would be allowed out while Remus was grounded. He knew that their mother was fond of corporal punishment. How much worse could it have been than the spankings he knew about? Surely Remus was just more sensitive to them than him.

Curiosity clawed at the back of his mind, like a feral cat trying to escape a bath. It ate away at him. He knew he was a horrible brother to Remus, tattling on him, pushing him away when he was desperate and lonely, never once covering for him when he snuck out for the most innocuous things.

What was in that basement? What horrors were hidden below?

He couldn't concentrate. Roman was throwing everything in the trash without checking the dates anymore.

He needed to know.

Roman finally tied the trash bag closed and sighed, glad that task was done. He could always go out and check on Remus, but those words echoed in his skull.

Look in the basement

Roman stepped out of the kitchen and made his way to the staircase. He was almost afraid of what he would find. If it wasn't the horror Remus implied, it would be spiders. So many spiders.

But when he approached the door, Roman was surprised to find that there were no spiders crawling on it despite the vast number of webs nearby.

He took a deep breath and pushed his unease aside. He would have to go down there anyway, he might as well scope out the area.

He opened the door slowly, expecting the spiders to be on the other side. He was both relieved and unnerved when none jumped out at him.

With a flick of the light switch he steeled his nerves and made his descent.

Meanwhile, Remus was at the edge of the woods, leaning on an old tree and trying to calm his head.

Sinners must be penitent. They must disown their pride.

He could still hear her voice, so calm and patronizing. His back burned with the ghost of the rod. He ached as if he were trapped in that small space again. He shivered as if his clothes were gone.

“I'm glad that bitch is dead,” he muttered to himself and dried his eyes, “And after this I never have to see that whiny bastard again.”

Remus couldn't believe that he agreed to help Roman. After years of claiming Remus was exaggerating, ignoring him, pushing him away, Roman had no right to ask for his help. He just had to play the brother card. If Roman actually cared about him, Remus wouldn't be so reluctant. No one here ever seemed to have cared.

No one who was real. Remus could still remember one person, an imaginary friend or a hallucination, and that person cared. Remus almost wished they were real, that Virgil was a real person who he didn't have to name. He missed hearing them comforting him from under his bed. He missed the way they would sing him to sleep and listen to him.

He laughed to himself at some of their conversations. They had always shown interest in his ramblings about spiders and bugs, ocean oddities, and horror movies that he had watched at a friend's house. He even remembered telling them that he had a crush on them, even though they were just a voice in his head.

“I'm here, you're safe now…”

And he believed Virgil every time. At least until he didn't come back.

---

Roman made his way to the bottom of the stairs. The dim light made everything seem so sinister. The unfinished walls and boiler were covered in cobwebs, and the ceiling was white with a full blanket of spidery weaving. At least the light was untouched.

He could feel eyes boring into him. Stalking him from the shadows. He felt like a deer in the fields, hunted.

But then he noticed it, standing next to the boiler. It was old and rusty. Or maybe that brown stuff wasn't rust. He could hardly believe his eyes.

A cage meant for a large dog. It was sitting there, as if it had been there for years.

On top of that cage was a bible, a branding iron, and a leather belt. And leaning against the wall was a thin cane.

Roman’s heart sank. How many times did he put Remus through hell inadvertently? How many times did he think it was justified to get his brother in trouble?

The hair stood on the back of his neck. The odd feeling that he was being watched was stronger. He could taste the venom in that gaze.

It was too quiet...

He could hear his pulse thundering in his ears.

Roman couldn't move his feet, locked in place and staring at the instruments his mother used to “purify” his brother.

The walls seemed to move around him, webs shifting and swaying. There had to be hundreds of spiders hiding in their mesh.

It was time to leave.

It had been time to leave for a while.

It was too late.

Roman screamed as something heavy fell on him, pounced on his shoulders.

He hit the ground with a weight on his back, pinning him down.

A searing pain ripped through his shoulders, like knives were piercing his flesh. His eyes welled with tears as an agonizing cry tore from his throat.

And then the world faded to black.

---

After two hours of calming down, Remus was ready to face the house again, as opposed to the woods at night. He would tell Roman what he could about his experience, move some old furniture, and then leave. He was exhausted but he didn't care, he needed to get away from this place.

His body was heavy with fatigue as he trudged through the grass to the old building. The only thing that he could think of to keep him from spiraling as he neared was his imaginary friend. With any luck he would be able to hear them again.

Remus entered through the back door into the kitchen. The lights weren't on but it looked like the trash was ready to go to the dump.

Still, he couldn't shake the odd feeling that something was wrong.

Roman would have come running to check on him, or to demand his help. Maybe he was on the second floor and didn't hear Remus come in.

It was just so quiet…

...

Too quiet…

Remus chalked up all of the discomfort to his trauma and his mental health tanking.

As he moved through the kitchen to the den, he failed to notice the spiders following him. He failed to notice that they weren't scattered across the furniture or in their webs.

What he did notice made his heart stop.

The basement door was open. The light was on.

Roman actually went down there.

He would have to go down there if he wanted to find Roman. He didn't. He didn't want to hear any apologies or alleviate any guilt. He only wanted to leave. But to do that, he needed to get the unsalvageable furniture in his truck, and he needed help with that.

Remus' hands trembled as he reached for the handrail. His heart rate spiked as he slowly descended the stairs.

Nothing bad would happen to him.

She was dead.

Roman wouldn't have the guts to try anything.

He could destroy this place.

Remus glanced around the room. There were more spider webs than he remembered, so many more. They were like curtains on the walls. He avoided looking at the old cage for his own sanity, but scanned for any sign of Roman.

But there was nothing.

“Roman?” Remus called out, half expecting that Roman ran away as soon as he saw a spider.

That's when his eyes landed on the cage.

There was a large bundle of webs next to it. Large enough to encompass a person.

Remus inched closer to confirm his worst suspicion.

Roman’s head stuck out of one end of the bundle. But it was emaciated, skin taut and suctioned to his skull. His lips were thin and pulled back to reveal his teeth.

His eyes were gone. The empty sockets were like voids. There was no blood or fluid, just deep holes in his skull.

Remus should have been more concerned about finding his brother like this, and he would have to take it up with his therapist later, because he felt nothing. No anger or sadness, no joy, no fear. Emotional exhaustion couldn't be the only explanation.

He could hear skittering overheard.

Whatever did this to Roman was still there.

And he was fine with being next.

Thud

Remus knew something was behind him, something big. Probably the same thing that killed Roman.

“It's been a while,” Remus chuckled and turned around, “And the one time I come back is the one time I won't leave.”

He was not at all horrified by the giant spider standing in front of him. It was the size of a wolf, fuzzy and black, and its eyes shone with understanding. Its fangs were bright purple and stained with red, but it made no move to attack.

“Oh, you're pretty!” Remus noted with a small smile. If he was dessert, he would be happy to feed a beautiful creature like this.

The spider inched away from him and reared back on its hind legs.

Remus was in awe as the creature quaked and bulged, its exoskeleton cracking. Its first and last pairs of leggings expanded and shortened, cracking as they took on a human shape. It kept morphing its entire body, stretching and shrinking just so, and turning Remus on in the process.

“Okay, I retract my statement,” Remus gawked. The person standing in front of him had four spider limbs coming out of his back, deathly pale skin, and gorgeous shaggy hair. His human eyes were purple and full of mixed emotions, while the four just below them were beady and black. The only shame was, that this person was fully clothed in jeans, a tee, and hoodie.

“You're fucking hot!” Remus gasped.

“What?!” the spidery man yelped. Remus knew that voice. He knew that voice better than anyone.

“Virgil?” Remus asked as his face split into a grin.

“You remember,” Virgil muttered.

“Of course I remember! You're the only person who believed me and you comforted me! Ooh—are you saving me for dessert? I'm a tasty snack!” Remus gushed and clapped his hands.

“What the fuck? No! You haven't done anything to warrant that,” Virgil bristled, “He killed my children. I grew up watching him ignoring the horrors you went through and what he didn’t do.”

“Your children?” Remus pouted, “The spiders? But they're all different species.”

“Do you really think I can create spiders without a mate?” Virgil scoffed, “I'm their guardian, a sort of spirit type thing.”

“So I have a bestie who's a spirit and I have a heart boner for a spirit?” Remus gasped and bounced on his heels.

“I’m not a spirit, I’m not sure what I am—wait. You do?”

“Yeah! You're the only thing I missed when I ran away,” Remus giggled, “I hated leaving you behind.”

Virgil was blushing, backing into the wall shyly. Remus couldn't handle the fact that the terrifying monster was so cute and flustered.

Remus bopped up to him and pressed against his chest.

“I want to be all yours, even if that means we fuck and I become dinner for your children,” he purred and stared up at Virgil.

“I killed your entire family and ate them,” Virgil muttered, “And you actually want—?”

“I do! I would become a little leggy baby if I could, if it meant I could stay with you!”

“What if you could be like me?”

“A sexy spider spirit thing? I would kill for that!” Remus beamed.

Virgil ran a hand down his cheek and cupped his chin. Remus was in awe, staring into his six eyes.

“That's something I can do,” Virgil said and leaned down. Remus vibrated with excitement.

The second their lips met, Remus melted into Virgil’s chest. Virgil wrapped all of his arms around Remus and held him close.

Remus moaned softly when Virgil took his lower lip between his teeth. This was too good to be true.

And then a searing pain shot through his gums. Remus cried out, but Virgil didn't pull away, he held Remus tighter.

Remus' legs quaked and his blood boiled. All of his muscles burned and turned to goo. He could feel himself peeling away from his skeleton while his skin tore open to make way for chitinous plates to take over.

Virgil retracted his fangs and gently laid Remus on the cold cement ground. The cold ground felt heavenly against him.

“The pain will go away soon,” Virgil said softly and stroked his hair, “I’m here, you're safe.”

Remus could have sobbed at those words. They were so comforting, enough to numb the pain.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't cry. He couldn't see. He could feel his flesh peeling off his skeleton, his brain and spinal cord liquefying and seeping out of their boney prisons.

“It's almost over, Remus,” Virgil said softly, “You're holding up so well.”

Remus writhed and contorted. He couldn't scream when two new pairs of limbs erupted from his torso. And then his mouth sealed shut and two more limbs sprouted from his face.

And then the pain stopped. His vision came back, although much different than before. Virgil was kneeling beside him, smiling at him.

“You’re cuter like this,” Virgil hummed and helped Remus stand on his eight legs. Remus chirped and wiggled his abdomen, unable to speak. He wanted to speak.

“You’re too weak to transform,” Virgil said, completely understanding him, “You need to eat.”

Remus was hungry. There had to be food somewhere. He could smell fresh meat.

Virgil stood and let him scurry about. Remus would find food.

There was a large lump of webs on the ground. The source of the smell.

He didn’t have a second thought before he jammed his chelicerae into the lump and liquefied the flesh. It didn’t occur to him what was in that web bundle, only that it was sustenance.

By the time he was sated, the skin on Roman’s skull had melted off.

With a little bit of willpower, Remus reared back on his last two sets of legs and morphed into a humanoid similar to Virgil. He was grinning and clapping like an excited child.

Virgil pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek.

“I’m here, you’re safe now, and we can leave this shithole behind, together.”

“Can we burn it to the ground and cuddle?” Remus asked and glanced at the floor. The pair of skeletons on the ground should have been terrifying. One of them was his! He ate his own brother! He should have been disgusted. But all he could feel was elation.

“Let me get everyone out first, and then we can,” Virgil hummed, “I wanted to watch you destroy this place and the people in it for years. Revenge is sweeter when you do it yourself.”

Remus giggled and kissed him again, just a quick little thing to make his spider blush.

“You’re sweeter than any revenge. Let’s clear out the babies so we can cuddle by the fire,” he hummed. Virgil scooped him up and smiled softly.

“You want to do more than that.”

“You know it!” Remus laughed. He was thrilled that he could find happiness in the worst place in his world. And he had just the spider to keep it there.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #roman sanders #dukexietyweek2024 #day 5 #abuse mention tw #religious abuse tw #gore mention tw #major character death #roman dies #cannibalism mention tw #body horror tw #spider!virgil #spider mention tw #sandyscribed #i expect this to flop because it's actually horror

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lolahaurisfw · 4 months

Text

✎ Introduction ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Here i'll only be taking requests for fluff, platonic, and angst! Reqs are always open like usual too, and you can request as much as you want and as detailed as you want! i just get to things when i can/want to.

Anon's: None Yet

Other Accounts: @lolas-favfics @lolamultifandom @lolahauri 🔞

AO3: Here

-> MASTERLIST <-

DNI: Map, Zoo, Pro-Para, Pro-Ana, TERF, Zionist, Bigots, Discourse Blogs. Block me if you don't agree. ❤️🖤🤍💚

What I'm Willing To Write:

Fluff, angst, platonic, hurt/comfort.

HC's, one shots, short multi-chapter fics, imagines/drabbles.

Canon-friendly, AU's, Canon Divergence, Out of Character.

Ch x Ch / Ch x Reader / Ch x OC / Poly Ships of any kind.

F/F, M/M, F/M, GN/F, GN/M, Poly Ships of any kind.

Fictional Other (F/O) Imagines: +18, no names, they/them only.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the list of fandoms and characters i'm familiar with and will happily take requests on! (you can request others from these fandoms, but it will prob take me longer)

FNAF Movie: Vanessa, Mike, William/Steve. Turning Red: Ming Lee, Jin Lee. YOU: Joe, Love, Beck, Peach. Encanto: Isabela, Bruno, Dolores, Julieta. Regular Show: Mordecai, Margret, Eileen, CJ, Benson. (Human Ver) Attack on Titan: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Levi, Hanji, Annie, Historia, Reiner, Erwin. BNA: Michiru, Shirou. Stardew Valley: All Adult Humans. Total Drama: All S1 Contestants, Chris, Chef, Blainley. SheRa: All Adults (Except Rogelio) King Of The Hill: Hank, Peggy, Luanne, Nancy, Dale, John Redcorn, Kahn, Min. Shameless: Lip, Fiona, Kev, V, Tony. Riverdale: FP Jones, Jughead, Veronica, Hiram, Betty. Creepypasta: Ben, Jeff, Jane, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Slenderman, Masky, Hoodie, Toby, X Virus, Nina, Clockwork, Splendorman, Kate. Gravity Falls: Stan, Ford, Soos, Giffany Steven Universe: Jasper, Amethyst, Blue Diamond, Peridot, Lapis, Garnet, Rose, Bismuth, Greg. Adventure Time/Fiona and Cake: Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, Marshall Lee, Winter King, Candy Queen, Simon, Ice King, Fiona. COD: Konig, Ghost, Mace, Keegan, Krueger, Valeria. Desperate Housewives: Bree, Gabby, Edie, Mike, Lynette. DC: Batman, Harley, Joker, Ivy, Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenburg). Slashers & DBD: Brahms, Ghostface (general), Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pyramid Head, The Spirit, Wraith, Huntress, Trapper, The Trickster, Pearl, Carrie White, Jennifer Check, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Tiffany Valentine, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Eric Draven. Nintendo: Link, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Luigi, Waluigi, Bowser. Squid Games: Gi-Hun, Sae-Byeok, Ali, Sang Woo. Rick and Morty: Rick, Beth, Jerry. Stranger Things: Robin, Billy, Eddie, Chrissy, Hopper. Bee & Puppycat: Bee, Deckard, Cass, Toast. Princess & The Frog: Shadow Man, Tiana, Lottie, Naveen. Ratatouille: Collette, Linguini. The Nanny: CC, Fran, Maxwell. Full House: Danny, Jesse, Joey. BigBang Theory: Raj, Leonard, Amy, Penny. Spiderverse: Miguel, Hobie, Jessica Drew. Black Dynamite: Honeybee, Black Dynamite. Breaking Bad: Skylar, Jesse, Walter. National Treasure: Benjamin Gates, Riley Poole. Superstore: Jonah, Amy, Dina, Cheyenne. Spongebob: Man Ray, Dennis. Tangeled: Flynn, Rapunzel, Mother Gothell. Elemental: Wade, Ember. Lisa Frankenstein: Lisa, Creature, Taffy. Jane the Virgin: Jane, Michael, Rogelio, Petra, Xiomara, Rose, Luisa. Young Sheldon: Mary, Connie. Twilight: Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Charlie. Bistro Huddy: All Staff Members, Poppy. WWE: Rhea Ripley, Roman Reigns. American Animals: Evan Peters (Warren), Barry Keoghan (Spencer). The Batman (2022): Batman, Riddler. Little Mermaid (2023): Ariel, Eric. Bob's Burgers: Linda, Bob. Avatar: Jake, Neytiri. Frozen: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff. My Hero Academia: Dabi, Hawks, Aizawa. Futurama: Leela, Amy, Fry, Bender. Earth Girls Are Easy: Mac, Wiploc, Zeebo, Valerie. Supernatural: Dean, Sam, Castiel. Sherlock (2010): Sherlock Holmes, John Watson. Silverado: Slick, Rae, Mal, Paden. Dirty Dancing: Johnny, Baby. The Breakfast Club: John Bender, Allison Reynolds. The Golden Girls: Blanche, Dorothy, Rose. Hot in Cleveland: Melanie <3, Joy, Victoria.

Nani Palekai (Lilo & Stitch) Paul Cable (Last Stand at Saber River) Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim vs The World) Peter Mitchell (3 Men & A Baby) Randy Marsh (South Park) Charles Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie) Master Chief (Halo) Ian Hawke (Alvin & The Chipmunks) Poe Dameron (Star Wars: The Force Awakens) Linda Gunderson (Rio) Bruce (Beyond Therapy) Jack Harrison (Transylvania 6-5000) Peggy Bundy (Married… With Children) Kitten (Breakfast on Pluto) Scarecrow (Batman Begins) John Wick (John Wick 4) David Levinson (Independence Day) Jackson Rippner (Red Eye) Stevo (SLC Punk!) Mike (5lbs of Pressure) Santa/Babbo Natale (Violent Night) Dan Conner (Roseanne) Tate Langdon (AHS: Murder House) Lt. Robert 'Bob' Floyd (Top Gun: Maverick 2022) Francine (American Dad) Beverly Goldberg (The Goldbergs) Fujimoto (Ponyo) Thomas Magnum (Magnum, P.I 1980) Doug Remer (Baseketball) Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park 1993) Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) Moe Doodle (Doodle Bops) Astarion (Baulders Gate 3) Trevor Phillips (GTA5) Shaun Murphy (The Good Doctor) Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia) John Doe (John Doe Game) Paul Blart (Paul Blart Mall Cop) Napolean Dynamite (self titled) Fezzik (Princess Bride)

#intro post #pinned post #fic writing #fluff #angst #x reader

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elvisabutler · 2 years

Note

can i get a #1 angst prompt for professor x belle where maybe he’s having a bad day and isn’t taking care of himself upsetting belle for the 1k gala please 🙏🏻

tender loving care

fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t pairing: elvis presley ( professor big daddy ) x female reader ( nicknamed belle ) wordcount: 1776 warnings: no use of y/n. talk of health issues. mentions of elvis's temper. brief mention of pregnancy due to where i set this in their timeline. minor fight. talk of dying. author’s note: thank you for this anon! i wasn't too sure where exactly i wanted to go with this but i still like what i came up with just the same. hope you enjoy! this is done for my 1k gala, based on the line “can’t save who doesn’t want to be saved.” this is the professor presley universe, i'm assuming if you're reading this, you've already read the previous bits and bobs. if not, click the tag and join us along for their ride. y'all know the drill, real elvis or austin elvis works fine for this despite the moodboard.

The Mafia gives you a list of things to watch out for when it comes to Elvis. Joe was too scared to give it to you and George had danced around it and while Jerry tried to foist it onto Billy- he got stuck telling you. Telling you this required him to actually set you down like you were in one of his classes and had him telling you to take notes because if you're- if you're the one for Elvis you'll need to know these things. You need to know everything Priscilla knew and the things Linda had known and that the other girls never knew. You need to know the clues for when Elvis was going to be down for the count. You needed to know when Elvis wouldn't take care of himself and would let things run their course. You needed to know when things were going to get bad for him.

It felt a little mocking at the time, a little condescending that they thought you wouldn't be able to to tell. That they thought you wouldn't be able to tell that your boyfriend, your partner, your lover would be having a rough go of it. It takes one singular time to realize it was more a warning than anything else. It takes one singular time for you to realize just how much you needed that list.

It starts like any other rough day, with him groaning next to you as he attempts to get out of bed. He's spry enough despite everything normally so you know this is the first sign. This is the sign it's not a day he can push through, this is a day he needs to rest. This is a day he needs to stay in bed except to use the bathroom and perhaps swim in the pool to ease his muscles. He doesn't though, despite your hushed whispers of telling him to stay in bed while you make the pair of you breakfast he doesn't listen. He shouts something about extra bacon and you hear a string of curses and a thump implying that something happened.

"Elvis! I thought I told you to stay in bed!" You shout as you flip your eggs in the pan. There's a long pause where you consider the idea of running to check on him before he finally shouts something back.

"'m fine! Just banged m' knee on the bed. Food almost done?"

Your eyes flick to the bacon that's practically burnt and you're about to answer him when you see him walking into the kitchen and sitting down at the table, setting his cane near him and wincing at the sunlight shining on his face. Your head tilts just a little as you try and run through the checklist in your mind. Body ache and headache. He's hungry so it's not a stomach issue. It's just his eyes and head acting up and his muscles rebelling. That warranted a break from him teaching today. You could still go to class, you had to still go to class because you were so close to graduating that just one missed class would be problematic to say the least.

"Just got the bacon." Your answer is short and to the point as you pour a cup of coffee and glasses of orange juice, making sure to take a sip of your own to quell the slight nausea you feel. Normally Elvis would come behind you to steal his cup and his glass while running his hand over your stomach. He'd normally kiss your neck and remind you how much he loves you and ask how his twins are doing despite you firmly saying it's just one big baby. Today he just sits at the table rubbing at his eyes.

Breakfast is quiet with you pulling your chair close to him and the two of you feeding each other with him rubbing your stomach as he does. It's a little rushed as you know you've got to get to class but when you finally stand up and Elvis makes moves to follow you into the shower you push him away and point to the bed. "Tonight. You are going right back into bed."

"Like hell I am. Move over, gonna take our shower so we can head to campus." He grumbles as he moves to step into the shower, earning a glare from you.

"You can barely keep your eyes open from the light, Elvis. And I saw how long you took to get up. You're going back to bed." You want to push him out of the shower but you know when he's like this he's a little unsteady so you stop yourself, instead making sure a shower that's usually filled with touches and talking is silent. When Elvis tries to wash your belly- tries to touch it you take his hand and take it off as you take the soap from him. A muscle in his jaw twitches.

The silence continues as you get dressed and as he does despite your clear aggravation. You've learned it's better to not argue in certain circumstances and this might be one of them. You tried to stop him, tried to still his hands as they buttoned up his shirt but after the answering growl you realize it's a lost cause. A part of you thinks the shower helped, thinks maybe it was just a rough morning until you see him lean a little more on his cane and until you see his eyes shut so tight at the full brunt of the sun when you walk out.

"El-" You start once you're in the car only to have him turn to you with a bit of a snarl on his features.

"Had worse days when I was teachin' ya. Ain't the only one who's stubborn, Belle. Stop tryin' to goddamn baby me. Ain't a goddamn invalid."

You want to argue, want to tell him that you're not trying to do any of that but it's not worth it. Not after he's already started the car and is pulling out the driveway. Let him be an idiot, let him push himself, let him reap the consequences of his own actions. "Fine."

Normally there's talking between the two of you in the car, normally you'll make lunch plans but today the only noise in the car is the roar of the engine and the noises filtering in from outside the car. When you arrive you're out of the car in a flash, not pausing to give Elvis a kiss knowing fully well you're so angry with him that all the kiss would do is anger you more.

"Belle!" You can hear him call after you but you ignore it, beginning your trek to your first class.

Around lunch time you're met outside your class by Jerry and George who share a look before you roll your eyes. "Oh. Let me guess, he's-"

George is the one who beats Jerry to speaking only to be cut off by you. "He shouldn't have come and you-"

"I tried. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Can't force them to be healthy. I can't-" It's then that you look past Jerry and see your boyfriend walking up behind him shaking his head. "Jesus- Elvis-"

"No, keep goin' keep puttin' our business out there. How ya think I need savin' from my own self." Elvis's face is twisted into something you only remember seeing when you first- when the incident between the two of you had happened and it sends a chill down your spine.

"Not until I'm in your office." Your reply is said as you step past Jerry and George to be right in front of Elvis with a puffed out chest and looking as strong and as stubborn as you ever do as you do it. "Not until we're in private."

His answer comes out as a hiss as he turns to walk to it. "Fine."

The second you're inside his office you see him sway just a little and you move to catch him if need be only for him to shake off your arm and support and move to lean on his desk. "Go on, lay it all out. Tell the ol' man how ya really feel 'bout this."

You take a breath to steady yourself and shut your eyes so you don't cry before you move over to him and touch his cheek. "I think you're being an idiot. I think I need you to be healthy for our twins. I think you need to get your head out from your generous behind and take care of yourself like you promised you would. You're not going to get me pregnant and stick me alone with our babies. That's just rude and incredibly unchristian of you."

Elvis doesn't speak for a moment, doesn't say anything or do anything other than breathe with his eyes shut before he reaches out to touch your barely there bump. Your instinctual reaction is to back away so he can't, to not give him the pleasure but you've missed him today and you're so worried it threatens to make you sick. "You called them our twins."

As if that's the important part of everything you said. In spite of yourself you feel yourself tearing up a little. "Yeah. I did. Elvis-"

He sighs and continues to just rub your stomach as he speaks, almost as if to center himself and calm himself. "My generous behind isn't used to someone takin' care o' me. Been a while darlin'. They- ya know my boys ain't the best at helpin'."

"I'm not your nurse." You respond rolling your eyes before moving to pull him into a hug. "You promised you'd take care of yourself. I don't want to wake up one morning to you not with me. Not for a very long time."

Elvis opens his eyes, wincing a little as he does before he cups your cheek. "Don't plan on it. Jus' gotta be reminded I ain't Captain Marvel sometimes. 'm sorry, Belle."

"I know you are." You frown and nuzzle a little against his hand before kissing the palm. "I'm sorry too. Shouldn't have- I should have been a little kinder this morning. Even if I thought you were being the biggest idiot in the world." Elvis lets out a chuckle at that before you continue. "Can we go home though? Can I take you home now?"

Elvis opens his mouth once, then twice before nodding and pushing himself off from his leaning perch on his desk. "Yeah."

taglist: i'm going to set up a proper one for everything eventually. but @thatbanditqueen and @softsatnin

#elvis presley #big daddy elvis #professor presley #elvis presley x reader #elvis presley x y/n #elvis presley x you #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis presley fanfic #elvis presley angst #ally's 1k gala #ally writes #austin butler elvis #austin elvis

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justforbooks · 8 months

Text

Over the course of a long career, the American singer Marlena Shaw moved from jazz to soul and back again, searching for settings that would best enhance her fine voice. In later decades she commanded the allegiance of the British fans of the rare-groove movement, who rediscovered and particularly cherished her version, released in 1969, of a much recorded song called California Soul.

Shaw, who has died aged 81, made her first stage appearance at the Apollo theatre in Harlem, New York, when she was 10 years old. Billie Holiday was still alive and Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan and Dinah Washington were other inescapable influences on a jazz-inclined teenage singer seemingly destined to work with big bands in dancehalls and smaller groups in nightclubs. In her later years she became familiar with the sound of hip-hop artists basing their hits on samples from her singles and album tracks.

Shaw’s recording of California Soul, a song written by Valerie Simpson and Nickolas Ashford, popped up in Gang Starr’s Check the Technique and Stereo MCs’ Sofisticated. It was also used in American TV commercials for Dockers shoes, KFC fast food and Dodge trucks, and in 2022 it was awarded an official gold record by the British Phonographic Industry.

Born Marlina Burgess in New Rochelle, New York, she showed musical talent from an early age and was given her first opportunity to take the stage in 1952 by her uncle, Jimmy Burgess, a trumpeter and bandleader who was performing at the Apollo. It was through his tuition that she acquired her understanding of jazz phrasing, while her mother encouraged her to study music at New York State Teachers’ College in Potsdam, a small town close to the Canadian border.

But she failed to complete the course, marrying young and bringing up five children before picking up the threads of a performing career that had barely begun. There were more false starts. In 1963 she missed an appearance at the Newport jazz festival with the trumpeter Howard McGhee after an argument with the musicians, and an attack of nerves ruined an audition with the great talent scout John Hammond, who had signed Holiday and Bob Dylan, among many others.

But in 1966, while singing at the Playboy Club in Chicago, she was signed up by the locally based Chess label, the home of many popular soul and R&B performers. Her first single was a vocal version of Joe Zawinul’s gospel-style tune Mercy Mercy Mercy, which had been an instrumental hit for Cannonball Adderley.

In 1968 Shaw toured Europe with Count Basie’s orchestra, involving the bandleader in an amusing routine as she improvised new words to Won’t You Come Home, Bill Bailey? It was while appearing with Basie at the Sands hotel in Las Vegas that she decided to make the gambling capital her home, moving there in 1970.

A contract with the Blue Note label led to a series of albums in a smooth soul-jazz style, including one recorded live at the Montreux jazz festival. The title and content of another album, Who Is This Bitch, Anyway?, indicated a desire to challenge the then-current popularity of the sexually explicit singer Millie Jackson.

A move to the Columbia label in 1977 saw her transforming Carole King and Gerry Goffin’s Go Away Little Girl, originally recorded by Bobby Vee, from a lovelorn ballad into a statement of female independence introduced by a lengthy rap directed at a feckless, workshy lover: “I figure if I’ve got to get up and go to work every day, then every able-bodied in the household is supposed to get up and go … If for some reason you feel that you can no longer be the man you were at the beginning of our relationship, then I’ve got this one thing to lay on you, my sweet. Go away, little boy …” But eventually the attitude softens, and after a seduction scene the song fades out on a note of surrender: “You think you can get a job by Thursday? You promise? Then you might as well stay … Don’t go away … ”

It became one of her most popular songs in live performance, the prefatory rap acquiring extra twists, turns, and layers of sardonic saltiness. At the New Morning club in Paris in 2010, the man in the song had become someone who had picked her up at an airport giftshop, its final scene acted out with elaborately dramatised hand gestures, smiles, laughter and a winning command of her audience.

An elegant presence on the concert stage, she sang with a symphony orchestra in New Zealand and toured for four years with Sammy Davis Jr. There were further recordings for the Verve, Concord and South Bay labels, and in 1989 a duet with Joe Williams, another former Basie singer, on an update of the old Louis Jordan song Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby earned her a Grammy nomination.

Shaw ceased all professional activity in 2016, retiring to her home in Las Vegas. Her survivors include her daughters April and Marla, a son, Robert, and several grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

🔔 Marlena Shaw (Marlina Burgess), singer, born 22 September 1942; died 19 January 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

#just for books #marlena shaw #in memoriam

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iamunabletothinkofablogname · 4 months

Note

here's the quote book!

Me:

it's a receding hairline not a monster

they call me shaky hands joe, after i shot my gun 16 times in my ceiling..try to shoot a mouse

well aren't you an exceptional sponge

Oli:

gets the grave digger out

AAAHHH IM GONNA KILL MYSELF (quoting eph)

mmm egg

dumbo bumbo

(chanting) larsony lorsony lorsony...

sup flat nuts

dogmungus

i ATE MY GRANDMA(quoting beetlejuice)

YOU !!! (gesturing at me after slamming my head into the fridge)

yaoi fingers

my malevolent meat mashing man mittens

my giant yaoi hands

agh (died)

nuh uh

""every sentence i read from your class feels more and more like im suffering from welding fumes''

the bear is enraged

(inconceivable crackling)

little egg tiny angry toddler man

fear...

yo methane check,are you flammable

me: what are you guys on in there?

Oli: yaoi

your going to give me bladder infection

you alone are going to provide this universe with more than enough Billy Joe Bob, enough being 1 and any more than that is too much Billy Joe Bob

nuts

i have amazing tongue dexterity

they call me shaky hands joe after i botched that nero surgery

i set my phone to vibrate so now i know the little gay people are talking

fort-fortnight

your as much of a resource to me as the monster manual

im gonna (animalistic noises youd hear in an alien movie)

once i learn mitosis your all done for

I'm gonna wack Nifty

Nifty:

that killed him???

sir i don't care about your kinks

ohp

meow meow meow

bitch...

agh (died)

(military noise)

I LOVE MEN !

Eph:

why do you guys hate this woman?

Unable:

IF THERE'S A HOLE THERES A GOLE

this is now my favorite greating

STEALING THESE

#horde #LMAO #ask #FRIEND!!!#zermizomilk

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julio-viernes · 4 months

Text

youtube

Murió a los 78 años David Sanborn, el saxofonista alto que pasó del jazz, al pop, R&B y otros géneros constituyéndose en uno de los músicos de sesión más solicitados de los años 70. Puso "soul" a "Young Americans" de David Bowie (arriba ambos tocando en el Dick Cavett Show, 1974) y "Tenth Avenue Freeze Out" de Bruce Springsteen.

Más que a su riada de Grammys como artista en solitario, prefiero destacar que apenas con 14 años ya tocaba con Albert King y Little Milton, y que se unió a The Paul Butterfield Blues Band en 1967 cuando la banda que acompañó a Bob Dylan en Newport 1965 agregó una sección de viento. Actuó con ellos en Woodstock 1969.

youtube

Por otro lado, su posterior trabajo como "session man" es interminable, desproporcionado: Stevie Wonder, James Brown, Billy Joel, Rolling Stones, B.B. King, Todd Rundgren, Ian Hunter, Steely Dan, Cat Stevens... y un larguísimo etcétera que incluye a muchos músicos de jazz (Gil Evans, Ron Carter, Maynard Ferguson, George Benson, Jaco Pastorius, Joe Beck, Bob James...).

#david bowie #bruce springsteen #david sanborn #paul butterfield blues band #youtube

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cartoonmadness · 6 months

Text

Multifandom sideblock for my fav comics / games / animated series / movies / short films / other stuff

My art blog is peikonlainen.tumblr.com

Movies

Akira

Barbie

Book of life

Boy and the beast

Catnapped

Coraline

Craig before the creek

The dark crystal

Disney movies

DreamWorks movies

Ernest and Celestine

Ethel and Ernest

Flight of dragons

Hoodwinked

Hotel transylvania

Kung fu Panda

The Labyrinth

Laika movies

Land before time

The Last Unicorn

Lego movies

Mary and Max

The Muppets

The never ending story

Osmosis Joe

Paprika

Rock and rule

Secret of Nimh

Scooby-Doo

Studio Ghibli movies

Tekkonkinkreet

TMNT Mutant Mayhem

Treasure planet

Tree of Palme

Trolls movies

The wizard of Oz

Wolf Children

Cartoons / Show / Anime

Adventure Time

Alfred J. Kwak

The Amazing wold of Gumball

Amphibia

Angelic Layer

As told by Ginger

Avatar the last airbender

Batman the animated series

Bluey

Bob's burgers

Bojack Horseman

Care bears

Centaurworld

Clone high

Count Duckula

Craig of the creek

Cyborg 009

The dark crystal age of resistance

Darkwing Duck

Ducktales (2017)

Evil con carne

Fraiser

Golden girls

Gravity Falls

Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

Hazbin hotel

Helluva boss

Infinity train

Jellytown!

Kaiba

Kid Cosmic

Kim Possible

Kipo

The legend of Korra

Looney tunes

Mao Mao heroes of pure heart

Masters of the Universe 2002

Maya and the tree

Moomins

Murder she wrote

My little pony

Oggy and the cockroaches

The Owl house

Ping Pong animated series

Pokemon

Reboot

Regular show

ROTTMNT

Sesame street

She-ra

Sherlock Hound

Spiderman

Spongebob

Tuca and Bertie

TMNT 80s/90s

TMNT 2003

Transformers (80s)

Transformers prime

Twelve forever

Unicorn - Warriors eternal

The Venture bros

Wander over Yander

Winx

Indie animations

Bigtop burger

Chikn Nuggit

the Devil and Daniel Mouse

Lackadaisy

Metal Family

Monkey Wrench

Soviet Union animations

Shred force

Smiling friends

Spooky month

Wallace and Gromit

Comics / Manga

Adventures of Tintin

Bamse

Batman

Cyborg 009

Detective Conan

Donald Duck (Aku Ankka in Finnish)

Dragon ball

Garfield

Moomins

Peanuts

Paradise kiss

Popeye

Niilo Pielinen

Spiderman

Spirou and Fantasio

Vinland saga

Wimpy Witch

Books

Amazing land of Oz

Babar

Moomin books

Games

Animal crossing

Garage: bad dream adventure

Katamari

Pokemon

Other Nintendo games

Sly Cooper

Sonic the hedgehog

#list

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byneddiedingo · 1 year

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Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot (Billy Wilder, 1959)

Cast: Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Joe E. Brown, George Raft, Pat O'Brien, Nehemiah Persoff, Joan Shawlee. Screenplay: Billy Wilder, I.A.L. Diamond, suggested by a story by Robert Thoeren and Michael Logan. Cinematography: Charles Lang. Art direction: Ted Haworth. Film editing: Arthur P. Schmidt. Music: Adolph Deutsch.

Some Like It Hot is a hilarious farce and one of the sweetest natured of Billy Wilder's usually acerbic comedies, thanks to skillful performances by Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe's breath-taking luminosity. And it would be easy enough to leave it at that. But after all we've learned about sexual orientation and identity, after many feminist critiques of Hollywood's depiction of women, and after many explorations of Monroe's tragic history, it's a little naive to do so. Plumb beneath the surface of what seems to be blithe entertainment and you'll find disturbance in the depths. Take the celebrated ending of the film, for example. Sugar (Monroe) gets Jerry (Curtis), but at what price? As he warns her, he's exactly the kind of guy she knows is bad for her. And Osgood's (Joe E. Brown) shrugging off the fact that Daphne (Lemmon) is a man is one of the funniest moments on film, but in fact, the two men have the kind of chemistry together (as in the tango scene) that works, whereas Curtis and Monroe have no real chemistry. Is the film making a case, well in advance of its time, for same-sex attraction? Probably not Wilder's conscious intention, but what does that matter? As for the difficulties of working with Monroe that Wilder and her co-stars later complained about -- though Curtis eventually retracted the much-quoted statement that kissing her was "like kissing Hitler" -- this remains perhaps her best film and best performance. Imagine the movie with Mitzi Gaynor (originally considered for the part and on standby in case Monroe bailed on it) and you have nothing like the one we now know. In lesser hands than Wilder's the clichés (men in drag on run from gangsters) would have resulted in a second-rate comedy. The real marvel is that Wilder produced something enduring out of clichéd material. Curtis and Lemmon are great, even though their roles are the traditional comic teaming of a bully (Curtis) and a patsy (Lemmon), the formula already worked over by Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, and Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. Sometimes what you have to do is take the formula and transcend it.

#Some Like It Hot #Billy Wilder #Jack Lemmon #Marilyn Monroe

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deadcactuswalking · 7 months

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/02/2024 (Dua Lipa, Djo, Calvin Harris/Rag'n'Bone Man)

Guess we know who’s winning the Civil War - Beyoncé’s “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” usurps Vermont on the throne of the UK Singles Chart. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

It’s kind of calming to have a week where outside of some new entries, of which there are only a handful to begin with. So, as always, we start with the notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 (what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to a small selection of songs but some of which are pretty important. Sure, I guess we can say good riddance to “MY EYES” by Travis Scott (featuring uncredited vocals from Justin Vernon of Bon Iver and Sampha) and “Body Moving” by Eliza Rose and Calvin Harris without much fret, but we also see dropouts from the Barbie soundtrack with both “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish and “Dance the Night” by Dua Lipa leaving, as well as Sam Fender’s “Seventeen Going Under” making yet another exit though I’m sure it’ll be back soon enough.

There isn’t much to speak of in our gains, either. The biggest story is probably our list of returns, since the new documentary, Bob Marley: One Love has people rediscovering the reggae legend’s catalogue. His greatest hits album is at #6 on the albums chart and two of his songs with the Wailers return to the top 75. Both songs peaked in 1980, with “Could You be Loved”, now at #51, peaking at #5 whilst Odyssey’s “Use it Up and Wear it Out” was #1 and “Three Little Birds”, now at #56, only peaking at #17, whilst “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police was #1. Marley would pass just one year after, of course, and it is pretty poetic to have his grandson in the top 10 right now, but just so this episode has some cool chart history trivia, how about we go through the several times these songs have charted? Different recordings of the two songs released in 1984 and 1985 peaked at #71 and #76 respectively. Joe Cocker’s cover of “Could You be Loved” peaked at #86 in 1997, and as far as I can find, no other covers of either song have charted, which kind of surprises me. After all, the latter was recently covered by Maroon 5, I figured they’d hitch a chart spot on name recognition but nope, not even a child singer Connie Talbot could do it in the talent show boom in the 2000s, so I guess Marley’s original really can’t be replaced.

As for the rest of our gains and returns, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by way too many people who should know better is back at #73 and “Coal” by Dylan Gossett returns to #61. The gains include last week’s debuts, “Made for Me” by Muni Long and “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #48 and #44 respectively, “Lil Boo Thang” by the GOAT Paul Russell at #35 and, despite what the Official Charts Company would want you to believe, “Grey” by Yung Filly is at #33. There was an Aitch remix.

This week’s top 5 is actually pretty notable in terms of some shifting tides. We begin with ACR - search it up - striking Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” down to #5, and then one of a few big debuts with Dua Lipa at #4 with “Training Season”, followed by gains for some white dudes making big moves: “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #3 and “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone at #2, and finally, of course Queen Bey at the top. Now, we don’t have that wide of an array of new entries, or really, many at all, of which I’m pretty grateful for, so let’s zip through them.

New Entries

#66 - “Soaked” - Shy Smith

Produced by BeatBusta

Alright, I’ll bite… who the Hell is Shy Smith and why did they go with that… uncomfortable cover art? Well, this song is actually from 2021, and I assume through TikTok has gone viral, but this isn’t some indie artist as we typically see, this is a Canadian social media star, which makes this song seem a bit more like a joke. That’s a relief since despite being three years old, it sounds like Ciara made this in 2006 with the glassy synths, blocky Timbaland-esque production and squarrelling synth buzz, that is much more “in” now than it ever has been. Part of me understands completely therefore why this is charting now… but then another part of me doesn’t understand why this is charting at all. There’s really nothing to the stifled groove of the beat and it sounds like it actively strains Shy Smith to try having a personality. It’s so clearly going for semi-goofy seduction, but clawing actual intimacy out of this is as hard a job for me as it would have been for the vocal engineers, so I’m really not understanding this one.

#53 - “Whatever She Wants” - Bryson Tiller

Produced by TylianMTB

I always forget Bryson Tiller exists until he shows back up again, and I mean no offence by that as nothing has given me the impression that he’s not talented or a good person, but not a single song has clicked with me, despite having a lot of respect for his mostly singular lane and pioneering of the trap-soul sound. I can think of people who perhaps want to be Bryson Tiller, but I can’t figure out who Bryson Tiller wants to be other than, well, Bryson Tiller, and even if the music doesn’t resonate, I’m happy with that. Problem here is that he’s obviously trying to be Drake. He’s always been the easiest comparison to make with Tiller, but other than the more Detroit-influenced percussion, which really sounds like a typical trap rhythm with a Detroit choice of sounds more than anything, other than an elegant Orion Sum sample… this is just a Drake song. He goes for Drake flows, Drake melodies, even Drake’s uncomfortable whispery ad-libs. You could argue that the influence is mutual, but it is really difficult for me not to see a Drake fan taking the acapella, running it through a Drake voice AI and making something completely believable. Even the content is a slightly less embarrassing Drake riff, which just shows to me that he may be a unique singer, but not so much a rapper. Tylian’s beat is pretty good on this, I will admit, but I’m compelled by Mr. Tiller enough as a unique presence to care much about this. The train-like way the song keeps to an uptempo chug is actually pretty interesting though, it doesn’t feel like it ever wants to stop and take a breath, and Tiller does contribute to that, he’s not a total dud on his own song. He’s not really improving it either, though.

#19 - “Lovers in a Past Life” - Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man

Produced by Calvin Harris and watt

The petty part of me wants to say “2018 called” but this collaboration isn’t dated on arrival: Rag’n’Bone Man is another one of those artists I always forget about until they show up and I think this will just be a repeat of what I said about “Giant” all those years ago. He needs a rough layer of grit under him, not this flashy, sugary house track that he sticks out like a sore thumb over. Now it may not be dated on arrival but it is in execution: this is a tropical house song, and whilst Calvin Harris has always been good at mixing and making his stuff sound professional, this actually detracts from the character-void guitar and four-on-the-floor programming that all just feels rote. He even goes for an ATB-like guitar lick in the drop amidst the house pianos that just doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t dislike this - or at least not that much - I’m just confused by how either artist felt the need to make it, because it really does not work.

#11 - “End of Beginning” - Djo

Produced by Adam Thein and Djo

How do I even begin to pronounce that? Is he D-J-O, Duh-Joe, Joe, Sho? Oh, who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter, you know him as Joe Keery from Stranger Things. He was in a psychedelic band for a while but left and has solo work as a musician out now, with this taking from his second album and not actually released as a single, just a breakout solo hit. Is it good? Well, listen… I wish he knew he wanted Steve. The only buzz I had heard about this is that it sounded just like Mr. Lacy’s “Bad Habit” and well, I actively laughed when certain elements of the song came in because they hit nearly exactly the same way as in that song. This is most likely an influence and definitely not worth suing anyone over, but that’s primarily because neither song is any good. The lyrics are largely about his connection to his home city of Chicago as well as the acceleration of his acting career, making a point about how well, he’s still from Chicago! Whatever version you get of him, Chicago’s still in him. Yeah, it’s safe to say it doesn’t have the lyrical intricacies or at least, intriguing moments, that “Bad Habit” does, or even, and it pains me to say this, its sonic depth, so surely I should like this even less? Well, no. Djo Mama’s voice is a lot less pursuant and awkward than Steve Lacy, who also came up with some actual earworms that I respect but never want to hear again, whilst Djo here is just yapping over some synthpop. Which is fine. Have your fun. My opinion doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Just… maybe make acting a priority.

#4 - “Training Season” - Dua Lipa

Produced by Kevin Parker

I wish Dua found an interesting way to be good. This is a great, funky pop song, a worthwhile follow-up to “Houdini” with some excellent atmosphere mostly found in the dynamic mix that I’m sure Mr. Tame Impala had a lot of involvement with. It may not be a psychedelic song by nature, but there are transitory phases that absolutely show he was on the boards for. This feels like a sequel to “Houdini”, if that’s not already the intention, as Dua isn’t being the carefree love-them-and-leave-them anymore, she’s genuinely frustrated that she doesn’t have a more consistent and intimate relationship. She’s sick of being in control in these relationships - if they can be called such - and wants someone to go there, to actually mean something to her and put that effort in. Yet it doesn’t hit as much as I want it to… it may be the replacement of the rubbery bass from “Houdini” with a focus on soaring psychedelic synths and a guitar tone I’m not really big on in the chorus. Maybe it’s just that this funk-pop sound isn’t all that new and in that case, it’s impressive that Dua has made it this far without sounding boring.

Conclusion

With that said, she still obviously gets Best of the Week because good God, this was a mediocre set. Honourable and Dishonourable Mentions would be overly charitable probably, but I am going to give Bryson Tiller some benefit here, specifically because “Whatever She Wants” does have a decent instrumental, whilst Djo takes the Dishonourable Mention for “End of Beginning”, God, even the title is awkward. As for the worst, Shy Smith I think takes this handedly for “Soaked” but… will it even last a second week? I don’t know, it’s easily the least essential and least likely to last song that debuted. As for what’s on the horizon… I don’t know. Thank you for reading, rest in peace to Steve Wright and I’ll see you next week!

#rag n bone man #calvin harris #uk singles chart #pop music #song review #dua lipa #djo #bryson tiller #shy smith

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