#billy batson has no parents

[voiider]

Okay alright I'm tired of giving more children to Bruce Wayne I think we need to start taking some away 

Tim getting kidnapped (but in a way they don't announce Tim Drake-Wayne as missing??) and is given Something that induces amnesia but he escapes or maybe just literally wanders away but like he's in the middle of Ohio and he's walking down the road unsure of his own name or where he is and a weird looking camper pills over and a large man leans out the window and says “you doing alright there, sonny?” 

And he doesn't really know so he sorta shrugs so they pick him up and the man introduces himself as Jack and this is his wife Maddie and their two kids Danny and Jazz and they're just heading back from a camping trip and they can take him into town (Amity?) and take him down to the station and help him get things figured out 

The police take his picture and upload it to a “found” database or smth but there's no active or recent cases in Ohio for missing persons (or teenagers) matching his description 

(But also, Amity is pretty disconnected from the rest of the world digitally. They mind their business. Sure they run this boy's face in the newspaper and let the neighboring precincts about him but there's not much more they can do until this kid gets some memories back)

So he goes to stay with Jack and Maddie (idk how i don’t care about LAWS) while they wait to see if they get any hits or until he gets some memories back and they register him under Alvin (“hmm maybe... Tom? No, definitely not. Caroline? Alvin? That sounds the best I guess”) Fenton at the local high school so he can keep getting an education (and Alvin isn’t sure why, but this sort of feels like a waste of time, he already knows all this math stuff and why would he want to read Of Mice and Men he’s pretty sure someone told him John Steinbeck was a hack. Or maybe not. He can’t remember) but it’s simple enough and he likes the Fentons even if they keep trying to convince him ghosts are real 

And maybe they are. Actually. Real that is. He saw one the other day and had to double check if knowing ghosts were real is a common knowledge thing that he forgot of if he never knew in the first place. Jazz tells him that ghosts are pretty much an Amity specific thing but that they appear other places and then Jack and Maddie set him down and give him the entire history of ghosts that night and then show him their lab which is pretty cool

And maybe he accidentally suplexed someone who startled him in the halls on his first day and also fell asleep in science,but give him a break! he’s going through a lot right now

But his new brother roommate friend? Is helping him adjust at school by telling him who to avoid and what not to eat from the cafeteria and Jazz is in most of his classes but also he’s not sure why they’re trying to act all sneaky about this Inviso-Bill/vigilante situation because like. That’s clearly just Danny with white hair? He looks the exact same? Also he literally saw Danny walk through the bathroom door last week if it wasn’t obvious enough.

So Tim really isn’t expecting Danny to be surprised that he picked up a thermos that Phantom dropped when he and his friends ran off to fight another ghost

[windybluebelles]

Yes, Billy getting revealed to the JL is awful when he’s a lonely, homeless pre-teen who has no friends and family and everyone hates him. I love that, it’s great.

But the humour of him either being:

An entirely healthy 14/15 year old with a loving foster family and only mild mommy/abandonment issues (plus all the other trauma from the homeless-ness and foster care but ehhh that was ages ago)

Or,

9->13 year old Billy who still shows signs of past malnutrition but is clearly healthy ATM and has a full time job. Yes he has trauma from the whole everything but he basically has a full support system and a bunch of friends. This guy has a full time job and has dinner with his sisters family on the weekend, he may or may not also own a plane

For both of them, it’s also funny if some other Shazamily members get traveled and the JL is like

“OMG do you need some help??? Can we foster you? Do you want some food???”

And there all like?

“Noo? My mum needs me home by 5 can we wrap this up?”

Just, them being in a healthy situation where the JL legally cannot stop any of them from being hero’s because they have their parents permission or literally have a Job and are their own legal guardian

On a sorta related note, the og Shazamily (Billy, Mary, Freddie) get revealed and it’s these two clearly homeless kids- plus Mary? Who is perfectly healthy and wearing brand new clothes?

They try and parent Billy or Freddie and Mary is just in the corner shaking her head, telling them that “We’ve tried, they won’t budge”

[chronicwhorebatman]

radical thought: batman knows shazam is a child but makes precisely zero effort to parent him

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

I need Billy to get Clark Kent-ed in a fic and sent to cover a Wayne gala

Billy and Bruce meet, names are exchanged, and Bruce worries if this kid is doing okay and if there’s a father position open. Billy is there for some Wayne-Sivana partnership with Magnificus, asking a lot of well informed questions and acting like a little cherub.

Them bad guys break in, one has a gun to Billy’s head and Billy, in true street kid fashion and with the experience from his last 57 kidnapping attempts; bites the hand over his mouth, throws the guy whose twice his size over himself and twists his arm, and dismantles the gun before Batman swoops in and saves the rest of the day.

Batman checks on him, asking if he’s okay, and Billy drops the good kid act and straight up tells him to piss off because he’s not getting adopted by a furry man-child who lives a state away from his hometown

Any Robin or sidekick that was there just cheers the kid on from the roof top screaming “DODGED THAT BULLET!” after having spent the whole gala trying to keep them apart before Bruce could bust out the adoption papers

[rocker-socks]

I see your Bruce adopts Billy au and raise you Diana adopts Billy while Bruce hovers on the sidelines playing godfather who has the adoption papers ready if something bad happens. Jon also gets this treatment.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPxDC prompt: Danny is Chronos' first child.

Well, not his first child biologically, to be completely honest.

It just so happened that the Phantom very often helped/helps/will help Clockwork at different times and his presence next to the titan required an explanation.

And the opportunity to call Zeus a little brother is worth a lot, right? So when the Ancient came up with this idea Phantom did not resist just to have such a pleasant bonus from their cooperation.

However, in the time of the gods and heroes, such a solution was not a problem. But in modern times, when Phantom tries to attract as little attention as possible in order to graduate from university, such relatives are more likely to cause a lot of problems.

~~~~~

Wonder Woman: Uncle Danny?

Superman, who wanted to chase away a teenager serenely strolling through still smoking battlefield, turns to Wonder Woman, who is waving affably at excactly this guy.

Well, Fenton honestly happened to be in Fawcett City by accident, and it just so happened that by chance it was on this sunny and cloudless day that the villains decided to cause riots worthy of the attention of the founders of the Justice League.

Danny: Diana! My dear, it seems like we really haven't seen each other not for a long time! In what century was it? Ah, I honestly, I barely remember it... The speed at which children grow up defies the laws of time. I mean, look at you! Your mother must be so proud. How's Dad? Still not paying child support, arrogant bastard?

Wonder Woman: Oh, uncle, please. I'm all grown up now, don't worry about me.

Danny: Hm, well, let's get back to this question later. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your friends. Anyway, would you like to introduce them, little princess?

Wonder Woman: Of course, meet Kal El, Batman, and Shazam. The rest of the guys have already returned to our base. Would you like to...

Danny: Ooh, you're talking about, um... What do you young people call it? The Justice League, right? During my youth, the heroes rarely united and mostly performed all the feats alone. It's good that you help each other, kids.

Danny flies up a little to pat Superman and Batman on the head.

Under the Diana's gaze full of hope that they will get along with her uncle, the men do not move.

In the background:

Red Hood and Robin who used to hang out with Danny near the Lazarus pits: *sounds of seagulls dying of laughter*

~~~~~

Flash: So you're Diana's uncle?

Danny: Yes, call me Danny.

Flash: Cool, cool...

Danny: What does the temperature have to do with it? Do you need ice? Let me make some for you.

Flash: No, it's like,um, I didn't know that Zeus has a younger brother with that name. So, it's good to know?

Danny: Hmm, thanks. Many people tell me that I look quite young, hah. But actually I'm his older brother, so...

Flash: Older? Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect.

Danny: No, it's all right. It's "cool". I rarely appear on the pages of your human myths and legends, I know it. After all this business about Chronos devours his own children, my father punished me for a long time. So, yeah...It's a funny story.

Flash: Punished for what? How?

Danny: Uh, sitting in a room at a time when there is no Internet or electricity is not fun at all. You see, I just didn't want a younger brother or sister because I was afraid that my parents would pay less attention to me. So, I made up this stupid prophecy and persuaded Gaea to tell it in order to remain the only child in the family. My father would never have thought that I would decide to kill him, that's why...Phah, it's just a bad family story. In 10 thousand years, we'll all laugh about it.

Flash: Yeah, that's... funny.

~~~~

Danny *is woken up by an emergency call from the League at three in the morning, although he fell asleep at two o'clock* (he gave his contact so as not to upset his niece): I knew this would happen! I knew it!

~~~~

Billy Batson *stands in his human form in front of the Justice League and doesn't know what to say*,*sweating nervous*.

Danny *enters the hall*: What's up, mortals, Diana and...Batman? My father said that there is something that I have to be here for. Oh! Well, at least someone in this family is also a shapeshifter. Have you decided to make a younger form so that your uncle doesn't feel lonely? What a good boy! Usually everyone is so afraid to seem like children, once they turn a couple of centuries old. Ah, youth~

Billy: Yeah, I decided to..experiment? and it seems I got stuck by accident.

Danny: It's okay, Uncle Danny will help you. Come on, let's go...

~~~~

Danny *teleports them to the Fawcett City*.

Billy: ....

Danny:

Billy: Hey, I'm still stuck!

A new portal opens and a man in a purple cape hands Billy a note. "Go to Constantine. P.S., my son always completes all assignments only by half, sorry." written on it.

Billy: Oh... OoOhHh!!!

~~~~

Meanwhile, Constantine, who is forced to do additional work: Son of a bi... beloved and respected Master of Time.

Danny: Yeap, that's me.

Constantine: Damn it. Couldn't you just let Batman adopt him like in other timelines?

Danny: And where's the fun in that?

[novelistwriter]

The Misunderstanding

DP x DC Prompt

Parents who have a child in the Infinite Realms are dangerous beings. They will do anything to protect their children, even fighting ones stronger than themselves to do so.

Danny, the Ghost King, is in a meeting with JLD. The members of JLD are informing him of what he's to expect to encounter in this Realm and prepare him for the other meeting he has with the JL.

Dani, the Crown Princess, tagged along and didn't let Danny keep her from coming. But her obsession is preventing her from staying in one place for too long (She's already bored, and it's been 2 and a half hours since arriving in this new dimension). Danny did let her explore and told her to stay out of trouble (But with Fenton Luck, that won't happen).

Dani had been exploring a big city, just enjoying the new things to do. And then she is caught up in some magic related things, which causes her form to be monstrous looking while retaining the basic humanoid qualities except for proper communication, and to top it off, her powers aren't working properly, which then causes the people around her to think she's a new hostile alien planning to destroy the world.

The JL was called in to deal with her, not knowing that she's harmless and is trying to get back to Danny, her dad.

In the middle of the "fight" the JL are in with a creature that was reported to be causing trouble to a city, another more human looking being had appeared between the JL and the creature after the creature managed to make a strange whining sound. When the human looking being turned to face them after it checked up on the creature, the Justice League could only feel an intense pressure on them, the human looking being had eyes full of hate towards them before they morphed into something truly monstrous and began to attack them.

Some time later, the JLD make it to the area, where they see the JL being thrown around like nothing by the Ghost King in his Eldritch form. Wonder Woman tied up with her own Lasso of Truth, Superman lying unconscious with multiple wounds, Flash in ice with his head being the only unfrozen part of his body, Captain Marvel, or rather Billy Batson, hiding because the Ghost King sealed his transformation, Martian Manhunter in the middle of a ring of green flames, Aquaman fighting Ghostly Sea Animals of various species and losing, Green Lantern unable to use his ring, and Batman about to be sent to the Nightmare Realm through the giant maw of the Ghost King.

[wonderjanga]

Road Trip!

Once upon a time, there were two little kids… a 13-year-old Billy Batson and a 14-year-old Freddy Freeman. They were minding their business until suddenly Freddy came up with an idea…

Freddy: “Billy?”

Billy: “Yeah?”

Freddy: “I think we should go on a road trip.”

Billy: “Huh…? Why?”

Freddy: “Well, it’s just we never do anything fun.”

Billy: “What do you mean? We do tons of fun stuff!”

Freddy: “Name one thing.”

Billy: “Uh… superheroing—”

Freddy: “Try again.”

Billy: “Uh… doing my radio sho—”

Freddy: “That’s only a you thing. Try again.”

Billy: “Uh… drat. I got nothing.”

Freddy: “Exactly! So here’s what we’re gonna do! We’re gonna steal a car—”

Billy: “What??”

Freddy: “One from a thief.”

Billy: “Oh okay.”

Freddy: “Then we’re gonna pick Mary up from the Bromfields, and set out on the open road!”

Billy: “Okay… I guess I’ll talk to Mr. Morris about my absence… and Tawny can watch the city. Dudley could maybe help. I could also talk to the Lieutenant Marvels…”

That’s how the idea was born. They actually snatched a truck but still set out on the open road after picking up Mary and finishing up any final preparations.

Though not even an hour into their trip, they ran into a problem.

Freddy: “What do you mean gas is three dollars?? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Gas Station Worker(GSW):“Excuse me?”

Billy: *elbows him* “Sorry about him! It’s just that it’s rather expensive isn’t it, sir?”

GSW: “Kids, it’s three dollars. You are not missing out by spending three dollars.”

Freddy: “Three dollars can buy me…” *turns to Mary* “What’s 300 divided by twelve?”

Mary: “25.”

Freddy: *looks back to GSW* “Three dollars can buy me 25 hamburgers! So what are you on about, sir?”

GSW: “What are you on about? Where did you get this information?”

Billy: “From our home town? Gas they normally costs about 50 cents.”

GSW: “Where in the world do you live??”

It was after this conversation that the three children shared a look, went behind the gas station and transformed into their Marvel forms. Mary then proceeded to pick up the truck and all three of them flew in some random direction before standing in a circle and chanting.

Marvel, Junior and Mary: “mama se mama sa mama coo sa… mama se mama sa mama coo sa… mama se mama sa mama coo sa…”

That somehow made it so that the truck didn’t need gasoline anymore.

From then on, they were the stereotypical tourists. They went to the World’s Largest Yarn Ball, and the World’s Largest Frying Pan, and the World’s Largest Fire Hydrant. It was a blast.

Then they ran into their second problem. Everything was so expensive! They needed money (mostly for food) and it seemed like they needed a lot of it. So, Billy whipped out a solid gold brick he had gotten from a faerie that he traded with, and headed to a pawn shop.

Billy: “Sir, I’m in need of money.”

Store Clerk(SC): “Oh, uh…” *looks around the shop for Billy’s parents and doesn’t see them* “Well, you’ve come to the right place. You got something you wanna sell, little man?”

Billy: “Yes. This.” *places his brick on the counter*

*silence*

SC: “Is that real?”

Billy: “Yes?”

SC: *looks at him suspiciously*

The Store Clerk ran many tests on the gold. It left Billy’s foot tapping in anticipation and impatience. Eventually, the man finished.

SC: *just dumbfounded* “This is the goldest gold I’ve ever run into in my life…”

Billy: “Is that good?”

SC: “For you, yes. For me… I don’t know. I don’t even know if the shop has enough money to buy this to you.”

Billy: “Oh that’s fine. I’ll take however much you can give me without bankrupting yourself.”

SC: “I… are you sure, kid?”

Billy: “Yeah. Now, I’m kinda in a hurry so…”

With that, they acquired money.

They proceeded to treat themselves to some McDonald’s and go right back on the road. This put an end to their first week of the road trip. This also meant that Captain Marvel was gone for a week. Because of him being completely radio silent, the JL got concerned for their friend. So they gave him a call on the comm.

Mary: *driving, barely obeying traffic laws*

Freddy: *chilling out in the truck bed*

Billy: *sitting in the passengers seat when he suddenly startles and reaches a hand into his pocket dimension*

Mary: “You got a call?”

Billy: *pulls out his comm* “Uh… yeah.”

Mary: *pulls over*

Freddy: *leans over the side of the truck* “What’s wrong? Why’d we stop?”

Billy: “Got a call. Shazam!”

Marvel: *answers* “Hey, Flash. What’s up?”

Meanwhile, at the Watchtower…

JL: *all crowded around Flash’s comm*

Back with the Trio…

(Bold = they’re talking through Flash’s comm)

MM: *clears throat* “Captain. We’ve called you because we are concerned.”

Marvel: “Oh.” *confused as to why J’onn answered the phone, but whatever* “Thanks? Why?”

GL: “You’ve been gone for nearly a week, man? Did you get sucked into another dimension again?”

Marvel: “Nope! I’m on a road trip with Mary and Junior. Didn’t I tell you guys that?”

Aquaman: “Uh… No?? Geez, you’ve never taken time out to spend with those kids. Not in the… what? Six years we’ve known you?”

Marvel: “Huh. Now that I think about it, I really haven’t.”

Thankfully, he talked with the JL for a bit and told them (roughly) how long he’ll be gone.

The three kids had a blast driving around the states and their last stop was (unfortunately for some people, not them) Gotham.

Billy: “Uh…” *looking up at the menu* “Can I have three Bat-Mite Meals— those are the ones that come with toys, right?”

Cashier: “Yup. So, three Bat-Mite Meals.” *taps the register a couple times* “Will that be all?”

Billy: “Uh…” *looks back up at the menu*

In the background, the cashier watched as Mary and Freddy, who were chilling in the back of the truck, suddenly had a knife pulled on them by some random dude trying to car/truck jack them. The cashier also watched as the carjacker was flung back by some mysterious force (the truck had protective wards on it for situations like this) and crashed into the window of the Batburger.

Billy: “Uh………. Yeah that’ll be it.”

And Gotham was certainly interesting to the trio. They even got to meet Robin!

Mary and Freddy: *chilling in the truck bed*

Robin!Damian: *slips somehow and fucking crash lands onto their windshield, rolls up and over the truck*

Billy, Mary, Freddy: *horrified/gobsmacked*

Mary: *somehow bats him out of the air with Freddy’s crutch*

Robin!Damian: *lands in the truck bed*

It was after that that they pulled over and Billy got into the truck bed to see what in the world hit the windshield while he was driving because he was took startled to get a good enough look. That’s how they ended up circling Damian.

Freddy: “Hey. Buddy.” *smacking Damian’s cheek*

Billy: “You guys don’t think we killed Robin, do you?”

Mary: “No…? I’m pretty sure the truck killed him.”

Robin!Damian: *stirs*

Freddy: “Guys, he’s not even dead.”

Mary and Billy: “What?”

Damian, now registering that he was in the back of a truck, surrounded by kids his age, immediately freaked out and withdrew his katana. He immediately listed off some vile threats to their well-being before he scampered away before any of the Batsons or Freddy could get a word in.

All in all, it was a great road trip.

[1nkstains]

A Captain Marvel fic idea? Who would've guessed???

so. okay so. just. we all know bruce wayne loves dinosaurs. he has a dinosaur in his batcave, he canonically thinks they rock.

billy batson's parents were archeologists.

so-

Billy couldn't believe his eyes. The meeting had been normal, interspersed with profoundly unhelpful interjections from Solomon. Normal, that is, until Superman brought up a small mystery.

Something "strange" had been found in Metropolis, and Superman was concerned that it might be related to another one of Luthor's weird, convoluted schemes. It had been left under a Superman statue, out of sight for anyone lacking x-ray vision. Everyone looked on curiously as he lifted a cloth bag and carefully set it on the conference table, pulling it open to reveal-

"A spinosaurus vertebra?"

The whole room turned to look at both Batman and Billy, who were staring down at the fossil with stars in their eyes. The piece was big, not massive, but large enough to hold with two hands. Superman frowned at them curiously.

"It seemed to be fossilized, but it doesn't look like a bone-"

"Of course you wouldn't recognize it," Batman scoffed, and Billy barely managed to tear his eyes away from the vertebra long enough to look over at him. "Spinosaurus fossils are incredibly rare, this vertebra would be worth thousands." Billy nodded seriously, leaning forward to look down at it.

"Gosh, it's perfect," he murmured, feeling Batman step closer to get a good look as well.

Across the table, Flash cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Nerds!"

[toobytoobs]

I need a fic where Captain Marvel’s identity is found out and after a lot of arguing and debating, the Justice League is like “okay fine, you can be a hero as long as you have your parents’ permission”

And Billy homeless-orphan Batson, has to jump through hoops to convince all the adults that he has parents and they are fine with him being a hero

Fanfic writers PLEASE!!! I need Billy to have a situation like Tim drake when he had a fake uncle!

[ghostbsuter]

Sometimes.

Just sometimes.

Bruce, tired father of too many children, wished for a small break.

Just a tiny one.

He pinched his nose, cowl covering his head and expression and glared.

"I can't believe you snitched on me!" Billy batson, freshly revealed teen and sitting on his usual spot during meetings, hisses.

"If I have to get parented, so do you!" Danny fenton, also freshly revealed teenager, glared right back.

"Boys." Both their attention snapped to wonder woman, still tense and warry.

"Do you two have adult supervision, at least." Batman asks, feeling slightly more drained than before, he can feel Nightwing's stare at the back of his head, coming closer.

"Do the voices count?" Danny asks, to which Billy nodded. "Yeah, do they? Zeus has strong opinions, and many kids. He probably can parent, somewhat."

They shrugged both, like they hadn't just opened another whole can of questions.

"Wait!" Danny snapped his fingers, "what about clocky? He sends us on time missions, has his own lair, and lets us hang around. That counts? Right?"

The other teen nods in agreement.

(Knowing both are black haired and blue-eyed teens, he already knows Dick will never let him live this down. Deceived by children, for YEARS.)

(So much for being the greatest detective.)

(The text he sent to Alfred is between him and his butler dad.)

"Or—"

In the end, the two agreed reluctantly to stay around for a while. The Kents, the Allens, Diana, and the Waynes have opened up their homes to house them permanently.

Much their amusement, they declared, that to make no one jealous, they'd switch homes every other week or so.

That alone smelled like chaos.

Whatever, it was Diana's first week.

(And if the house of mysteries appeared in front of them sometimes, that's also between them and a very suffering John constantine.)

.・゜-: ✧ :-

A continuation

[daemonlogical]

To be entirely fair, Greeks and Romans do not have a god of balance, nor do they have a aspect that represents space in its entirety (no Ouranos isn't Space, he doesn't include Earth). It also didn't help that adoptive as he is, Danny fully inherited the one thing Clockwork wanted to pass on: the willingness to be a chaos gremlin at a drop of a hat.

Percy and Billy enjoys this immensely. Annabeth and the Divine Twitch Chat? Not so much.

Grover is in a food coma from all the stress eating.

Prompt 81

Danny blinked at the small children Ellie was holding the hand of, looking quite proud of herself. The small children- between ten and twelve so somewhere similar to Ellie’s age- who both practically stank of magic and Gods. 

He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose even as Dan cackled while opening the door more to let them inside. “Alright, what’s your name, kids?”

“B-billy…um, Billy Batson...” “‘m Percy! Percy Jackson.” 

“Nice to meet you two- any idea where in your family you have a god or two, because one of you definitely smells like Zeus and I’m pretty sure Poseidon and I am not dealing with either of my half-brothers.” 

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Oh hey what about a groundhogs day event where the hero has to relive their traumatic “One Bad Day”-esque backstory but it’s another hero they either know really well and the only way to break the loop is letting that horrible event happen

Bc I’m basic my first thought was “Oh, this would absolutely tear up anyone having to walk down crime alley knowing way too well what’s about to happen”

But I’m also obsessed with my blorbo so my other thought was “Omg lol, imagine if one of the adult heroes ended up in Billy’s body just before his parents left to go die on their dig and think maybe they can save their co-worker the tragedy he faced so young only for every attempt they succeed at getting them to stay keep the loop going and they realize they have to let them go and doom this kid all over again. Haha, extra points if the loop actually lasts from that point to them actually dying so they wake up the next day thinking they failed again only for it to be tomorrow and suddenly Uncle E gets the call that his brother and sister in law are dead and then whoever is in Billy’s body is getting thrown out with a suitcase realizing maybe the nightmare is going to last longer.”

And I just had to laugh bc goddamn my brain cant stop with angst

[windybluebelles]

I cling to Marvel being eight foot tall more than I cling to my own real life morals. Let him be a freak guys please it’s so funny.

My idea of Captain Marvel is that he looks like C.C Batson- Duh -but in the way that Billy remembers him.

Obviously his fully human father wasn’t nearly nine feet tall and built like a truck, but when your four years old and three feet tall, your going to think that he is. Most toddlers believe that their parents are the best people in the world so of course Billy as Captain Marvel is going to look perfect. I also just fully believe that you can’t take photographs of him, camera just fully blurs his figure till all you can see is the lightning bolt, every picture drawn of him is always incorrect. Even the best painters manage to land in a weird uncanny valley with him.

Anyone who knew C.C Batson is probably long dead or just has to put up with the fact that there’s this guy wearing a wrong copy of their friends face. Sucks to be them ig

I also prefer it when the rest of the Shazamily look like kids, slightly aged up from their normal selves but still young. They all still have this weird perfectness to them that makes them not quite recognisable and they are all at like peak physical condition.

Also they’re all like 6-7 foot tall.

Just monsterously oversized teenagers. Fully proportionate, weirdly muscular, gigantic teenagers.

Gotta love em!

[incorrectbatfam]

Retail steph with damian and Jon? :) i love retail steph so much

(featuring Billy Batson because he only adds chaos and I love him)

Previous: Margie | Batkids | Rogues | Justice League | Retail batkids | Retail Bruce | Young Justice | Black Friday | Valentine's Day

[grocery store]

Steph, working the bakery section: How can I help you boys today?

Jon: We're getting a cake for our friend's birthday. Chocolate with buttercream frosting, please. 

Steph: Do you want it to say anything? 

Jon: Yes. "Happy 14th B-day, Billy!"

Steph: What color?

Damian: Red. 

Steph: *starts writing on the cake*

Damian: Please also add: "Despite your shortcomings and lack of maturity, you are a valuable part of our team and as you get older, I expect you to gain greater wisdom that will aid us in our goals and prospects."

Steph: *struggling to fit it on the cake*

———————

[coffee shop]

Damian: Can we try the five-drink espresso flight?

Steph: You sure?

Billy, eyeing an unsuspecting Jon: Yes.

Steph: Alrighty.

*moments later*

Jon, after his fifth espresso: I'M KING OF THE UNIVERSE!

Jon: *shoots through the ceiling*

Damian: *grumbles and hands Billy ten bucks*

Steph, sighing: I'll get the broom.

———————

[clothing store]

Jon: *dancing in the dressing room with light-up shoes*

Damian: *T-posing in a trenchcoat*

Billy: *filming them*

Steph: What are you doing?

Billy: Making a TikTok. 

Steph: Well, you can't have cameras in the dressing rooms. I'm gonna have to ask you to stop. 

———————

[drive-thru]

Damian: One vegetarian Batburger, one regular Batburger, and one order of Night-Wings. And an extra-extra-extra large Ivy Salad.

Steph: Did you take the Batmobile again? 

Damian: No. 

Steph: Why don't you pull up to the window and prove it? 

Damian, Jon, and Billy: *ride up on Bat-Cow*

———————

[furniture store]

Jon: What's a warranty?

Damian: It's a court order to arrest someone. 

Steph: That's a warrant. A warranty covers the cost of something if it gets damaged within a certain amount of time. In our case, the store has a one-year warranty on all items. What are you looking to buy?

Billy: *enters pushing a Pinball machine*

Damian: ...It's for school.

———————

[restaurant]

Steph: What can I get you?

Damian: We'll split a pizza. 

Steph: Okay, anything else?

Billy, as Shazam: An alcohol.

Steph: "An alcohol?"

Billy: Yes, your finest alcohol. Sharing size, please.

Steph: I'll need to see some ID.

Billy, nervous: What's there to see? I'm clearly an adult. 

Steph: I need them for everyone at the table. 

Damian: *pulls out Jason's crime lord license*

Jon: *sticks on a fake mustache*

———————

[call center]

Steph, stifling a yawn: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I help you? 

Damian: Why are you still working? It's midnight. 

Steph: Overnight shift. This is a 24-hour line. What do you need, Damian?

Damian: Nothing. We just wanted to annoy you. 

Steph: We?

Jon: Hiya!

Billy: 'Sup.

———————

[sleepover at the Manor]

Steph: Alfred told me to bring you some snacks.

Damian: Excellent. 

Steph: *leaves the room*

Steph, internally: What do kids these days even do at sleepovers? 

Steph: *presses her ear to the door*

Damian: Truth or Dare? 

Jon: Truth. 

Damian: Which one of my siblings do you like best?

Jon: Steph, all the way.

Billy: I agree, she's the coolest. Remember when she drove us to get midnight breakfast on my birthday?

Jon: And when she promised not to tell my parents when I broke the café ceiling.

Billy: Or when she took us for a walk and actually explained why we couldn't make TikToks in the store instead of going "because I said so" like other adults. 

Jon: Plus, she gave all the leftover salad to Bat-Cow and helped us set up the Pinball machine downstairs.

Billy: Ooh, and she's really good at making mocktails. 

Jon: Also, she extended our free trial of the Daily Planet for our social studies project. 

Damian: Hm... point taken.

Billy: And she's hot.

Damian: Say that again and I will smite you with your own powers.  

Steph: *smiles softly*

[vulnonapixes-dc-corner]

I know that we talk all about "Bruce Wayne adopting Billy" that and "his name is literally BATson" this.

But has no one considered Billy adopting the Batfam?

Captain Marvel might be the Champion of Magic, but I also think that he is seen as the "Patreon of Fathers" due to the ability to look like one's parental figure.

(Since its from Billy's view, he looks like his own dad)

Bruce is aware that Captain Marvel looks differently to everyone and that it could be a trap to make one trust him.

But this man cannot say no when someone looking like Alfred asks him to go to the medbay or to eat.

It's a lose/lose for him, especially after he learnt that the captain was most likely a child.

His Kids aren't fairing any better BTW. Especially Jason.

There is a reason why the hero is the one wrangling child heroes.