#bill is sentenced to therapy

[instantly-panicked]

Bill fumbled Ford

Ford fumbled Fiddleford

Fiddleford fumbled his sanity

[coco-loco-nut]

Father’s Day

pairing: max verstappen x reader

summary: max is dating an international star

a/n: i literally had this idea last night and had to write a short blurb, i promise i am writing other stuff tho 🫶

masterlist

————————

y/username happy father’s day, daddy. i love you and your big…

maxverstappen1 anything to share with me?

y/username not pregnant, just letting everyone know how turned on you get me

maxverstappen1 love you too, schat

user12 anyone else not getting it, like she is so hot and he is 😬

y/username you know that one barbie scene with the rock? that’s my maxie. also if you think he’s ugly, that’s fine, more of him for me 😍

user98 Y/N BARBIE FAN CONFIRMED

y/username priority 1: old barbie movies priority 2: max

user3 ON THE MAIN?

user33 PR monster got her, I really wanna know what she was about to say

recordlabel we don’t… we actually want bleach for our eyes

redbullracing we will share our bleach if you send us demos of her next album 👀

charlesleclerc Go on, finish the sentence, I dare you.

y/username his big heart, ego, ass, trophy case, therapy bill from childhood trauma, i could keep going on but i don’t want to make you feel emasculated

user62 okay, but like how did he bag her?

y/username he has incredible rizz, and look at him🤤

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you grin as Max lays on you lap, looking up at you with his beautiful blue eyes.

“You aren’t pregnant, Schat,” he laughs, your fingertips gently scratching his scalp.

“We could change that, get some practice in for after the wedding?” you watch his eyes widen as he quickly sits up.

“Practice makes perfect, why don’t we practice now?” Max suggests, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

Your wedding is small, only some close friends and family in attendance. The ceremony takes place in your backyard, no reception beyond a dinner afterwards.

Despite both your respective fame levels, you didn’t want anyone knowing of the marriage. Fans still thought you were dating, so when you got a positive pregnancy test, you were extra careful.

Max was grateful that you had a private recording studio in the house, for when you needed to drop the album. You didn’t mean to choose the surprise drop date to be at the end of your pregnancy, nor Father’s Day, but life worked in funny ways.

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you softly say, handing the little bundle off to Max.

“This is the best present, he’s beautiful,” Max hold back tears as he holds his son close to his chest.

“I’m not sure if I will be able to top this next year,” you laugh a little, your tiredness making an apparent after a long labor.

“You should take a nap, I’ll be okay with him,” Max runs a hand though your sweaty hair. To him, you’ve never looked more perfect.

“I have one thing to do first,” you yawn, pulling out your phone. Max slides into the hospital bed beside you, you immediately nestle into him, his warmth enveloping you.

instagram

y/username SURPRISE! midnight rain is out now! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it for the past four years. There is so much in my life that happened, so enjoy my journey through heartbreak, love, and growth. I want to quickly thank Max and my team for making this possible 💙

user1 AHHH this is so good, but didn’t she and Max break up? Why is she thanking him?

user3 dude, i think they are married, did you listen to everything else

user4 yeah, she had some songs about marriage, but she hasn’t been at any races since last year

user10 did y’all see the statement saying there won’t be a tour for the album?? crying in the club

user11 Okay, but Robin?? secret child??

maxverstappen1 endlessly proud of you, schatje

user5 we get it bro, she wrote Dress and The Alchemy about you

maxverstappen1 our little robin decided to hatch 💙

danielricciardo So happy for you and Y/n, mate. Big day for the Verstappen family, can’t wait to hold the little guy!

y/username he will love his Uncle Danny

y/username he’s perfect, just like his daddy

redbullracing what a gift for father’s day! sending our gift to you 💙

user42 guys, y/n’s song credits changed…

user21 OMG MAX AND Y/N ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A KID???

[fallen-gravity]

MAJOR BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS, PROCEED WITH CAUTION .

.

.

There's something I've been meaning to talk about that I think a lot more people are overlooking than they should, and that's how The Axolotl presents themself.

We've only seen The Axolotl twice, and even what little information we have about them is only scraping the surface. We know they're a god, we know that they patrol space and time and keep wrongdoers in check and can sentence punishments for interdimensional criminals. We don't know much about them other than their job and that Bill really fucking hates them.

We know now, thanks to The Book of Bill, that Bill's prayers to The Axolotl to save him from disappearing forever worked, and that they were merciful enough to "bring him back", of sorts, and to allow him another chance at life as long as he does a life-sentence of therapy first. Everyone's been talking up a storm about that.

What I don't see many people talking about, and what is one of my favorite parts about this part of the book, is that it's revealed that just like Bill, The Axolotl can change their appearence depending on who they're talking to and whether or not The Axolotl thinks they deserve punishment. Compare the difference between The Axolotl's conversation with Bill after Weirdmageddon (disregard the poor image quality),

To the conversation they had with Dipper and Mabel in the choose your own adventure novel:

HUGE difference, right? When they speak to the twins, they look all cute and squishy and friendly. One could argue it's just a case of the different target audience of the two books, but if you were to ask me, I think there's more evidence in the case that The Axolotl knows that Dipper and Mabel are good kids and mean no harm to them or the rest of the universe, and therefore there's no need to put on an intimidating godlike front. Either The Axolotl hid their true form from Bill because he was not worthy, or they put up a kinder, softer front for Dipper and Mabel because they did not need to be punished. Either way, it seems like The Axolotl can change their appearence based on their judgement of whomever they're speaking to.

And it's just so good!!!! It's so yummy!!! Because Bill was the exact same way. He would change his appearence and his story depending on who he was speaking to. If it's someone he "liked", or someone he wanted to manipulate, he'd take on a cutesy, friendly appearence

But if 's someone who betrayed him, or someone he despises....

BOOM, he's suddenly this horrifying intimidating monster.

IT'S THE SAME COIN! I'm not suggesting they're the same entity, or anything, but it's so interesting that they both use this trick of the eyes for practically opposite reasons; The Axolotl uses it for the greater good, and Bill only uses it for his own personal gain. Their appearence to a person being based entirely on their judegement of said person is such a fun way to think about trust.

If I trust you, I will show you my true form

versus

If you betray my trust, you'll force me to show you my true form.

Mwah. Chef's kiss. 'Cause as much as they would hate to admit it, Bill and The Axolotl sure have a lot in common

[ckret2]

What if Bill and Evil Ford are thrown into the Theraprism together?

I don't think they would be. I think the Theraprism is supposed to represent a forensic psychiatric hospital.

At least in the US (idk about other countries) if a defendant is found not criminally responsible for their actions due to mental illness, then instead of going to jail for a sentence of a fixed duration, they go to a forensic psych hospital and have to remain there with other patients who committed crimes until the doctors decide that they're of sound mind and safe to be let out into society again, and if the doctors never think they're of sound mind then they spend the rest of their life there—which sounds exactly like Theraprism's "indefinite karmic rehabilitation."

And I believe with all my heart that the Axolotl's deal was basically the divine equivalent of saving Bill from the death penalty by using the insanity plea to send him to a psych ward instead of to oblivion. Now, one of the typical criteria for the insanity defense is usually "not capable of distinguishing right and wrong," and I think Bill is capable of distinguishing them, he just thinks it's stupid and prefers his own definition of right and wrong more than every else's��but whatever, Bill is some flavor of mentally ill, if the Ax got the plea to work then he got the plea to work, good for him, 10/10 lawyer, I'm not gonna argue it.

However—I don't think you could pull an insanity plea with Evil Ford. He's just Ford, except he really wants to take over the world. I don't think any divine karmic judge is gonna buy "well you'd HAVE to be crazy to follow Bill Cipher" it doesn't work like that. He'd get chucked in Normal Prison instead of Therapy-prison.

However, IF for some reason he did get chucked in Theraprism??

Staff's separating them immediately. They're absolute hellions together.

[grassfedclowns]

The book of Bill was such a beautiful glimpse into Bills mind, I must talk about it. Spoilers ahead

For all of Bills denial and deflection he feels so truly lonely in this and every other world. His family and community never understood him to the point it drove him to madness. Every human he went to ended up hating him. Even his henchmaniacs, the closest thing he has to family don’t truly understand him. But then he meets Ford. And at first Ford is just another gullible rube primed for his evil plan to take over the world. But what he doesn’t expect is that Ford gets him. Ford sees all of his weird and his strange and his sometimes scary and Ford adores him for it. He’s had people follow him in fear and in desire for riches and fame but Ford is just so excited to be lucky enough to be blessed by Bill Cipher the great muse himself. Even if Bill would never admit it, it must have felt for once like he was truly seen. And for a moment he could pretend like he wasn’t lying. Like he really was the great muse he said he was and like ford was truly his partner, his closest companion. Close enough to tell him his tragic backstory close enough to remember his birthday, close enough to be so deeply scared and upset when every lie he told once again comes crumbling down that all he can do is lash out in pain and anguish. The pain of Ford seeing him the same everyone else did made him so much worse. He didn’t know what else to do other than double down.

This book humanizes Bill in a way that makes you feel bad for him but in a “that guy is so pathetic. I thought he was scary but omg he’s pathetic.” Way. I definitely think Space Therapy/Mental Ward was probably the proper sentence from Ax. Maybe he’ll be nicer when he gets reincarnated as a rock

[house-of-kolchek]

Aw, Rats!

Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

@obsessedwithtoomanythings here. I’ve given into my obsession with the man. The myth. The absolute fucking legend. Have 2000 words of tropes and cliches because Leon S. Kennedy DEMANDS tooth rotting fluff. Also takes place during Infinite Darkness because dilf leon is choking me.

Word Count: 2.2k

Check out my page for more!

You didn’t like submarines. 

The metal structure around you groaned, reminding you of the literal tons of litres of water that waited just on the other side of the walls. One pinprick through that barrier, and life as you knew it could be over. Not to mention the endless depths absolutely full of weird creatures that could be lurking anywhere.

Zombies, you could handle. But the ocean? Fuuuuuuuck no.

Your foot tapped incessantly against the ground, echoing lightly throughout the room you stood in. It felt cramped - much like every other room in the submersible - with small, rounded walls that threatened to swallow you whole. One of the chairs squeaked across the room, and you lifted your gaze from the ground.

Leon stood to face you, reaching to swipe a stray hair from his forehead. In a second, you were fully distracted from your discomfort, your senses zeroing in on the man. His gaze caught yours, locking you in place as he reached for the hand you had just been picking at. With a brow raised, he brushed his thumb across the reddening skin of your knuckle, effectively stealing any remnant of breath you had.

“Gonna be okay there?” he asked, all low and husky. You blinked, your mind taking too long to process his words. Forcing a breath through your nostrils, you nodded your head, a little stiffer than usual.

“Just peachy. You know how much I love being confined in an underwater death trap.”

Hey. At least you were being half honest with him.

Leon masked his laugh with a long exhale, his lips quirking upwards. His thumb brushed over your knuckles again, your skin catching on the seam of his glove, and you had to swallow back another short burst of breath. 

“I’m never gonna be able to convince you that these things are not underwater death traps, but a perfectly safe method of transportation, am I?” he sighed, rolling his eyes in a playful manner. Your own lips twitched into a smile. 

“Nope. So when we end up dying in an underwater blaze, just know I’ll be blaming you,” you retorted, acutely aware of the grip he still had on your hand.

“Well we can’t have that,” he tutted, “Is there any way I can repay you for this atrocity I’ve committed?”

“You can pay for my therapy bills.”

“How about dinner instead?”

You blinked again, willing the heat that formed in your cheeks to disperse. As if he could read your mind, Leon smirked, leaning just a touch closer, enough so you could barely feel the breath from his nose dance across your face.

“Only if I get to pick the restaurant.” You cringed at your words. What kind of flirting was that?

And yet, a light blush covered Leon’s cheeks, and you wondered if the tone of your voice caught him off guard. It had come out slightly more husky than you’d expected. Leon’s lips parted, a sentence finally beginning to form on his tongue, when a sharp voice cut from behind you.

“Will you two just fuck already?”

If you thought you were blushing before, this would have been the next level.

You were sure your face grew as bright as Leon’s, his eyes widening as his gaze darted to your lips, ever so briefly. He cleared his throat, stepping back from you and swiftly exiting the room. Your face felt like it was on fire as your gaze slid to Shen Mei. Her lips curved into a devious smirk, watching as you stumbled for composure.

“What the hell?” You hissed, and she shrugged. Shrugged.

“We’re all thinking it,” she chuckled, eyeing you once again. “I know you’re thinking it.”

With a groan, you slid to the floor, not even bothering to find a chair. Why were you so obvious?

You hated this push and pull between the two of you. Leon Kennedy was a smart, capable man, fronting one impossible mission after the other. For someone who’d been through so much, to keep that playful attitude and those half-crooked grins… it drew your level of respect and affection for the man even higher. But you were merely a partner, another agent. Hell, you weren’t even one of the agents he chose to partake in extracurricular activities with.

But still. Leon was a good person, and like it or not, he had your heart. So you’d spend your days supporting him, watching his back and indulging in his banters and his flirting, no matter how much it ached in your chest. 

“He’s really got you fucked up, doesn’t he?” Shen Mei commented again, earning her another sharp glare. Of course, as an outsider it would be funny to see someone flounder and flail in their own pool of emotions. But to you, it was like you were drowning in them, facing wave after wave head-on. 

“Shuddup,” you mustered, digging the heels of your palms into your eyes before letting your hands run down your face. “‘m fine.”

She snorted, gesturing to the chair that looked so inviting across the other end of the metal table. It looked like an ass-shredder, but it had to be better than the floor. 

You lifted yourself from the floor, barely reaching a crouched position before a force on the ground sent you toppling forwards. Your forehead cracked off the edge of the table, sending a sharp stab of pain across your face. You faintly heard Shen Mei’s voice ringing out, and a hand across your shoulder. The sensation left just as quickly though, as the walls creaked around you and you found yourself pitching backwards, landing awkwardly on your spine. 

You blinked, stars dancing across your vision as the lights grew dark, replacing the world around you in a deep red hue. Bringing your hand up to your forehead, you groaned as your fingers grew damp. The table must have cut through your skin, as you surveyed the blood across your fingers, looking nearly black under the emergency lighting. 

The emergency lighting. 

Emergency.

“Shit!” you cursed, hauling yourself to your feet, only to stumble against the wall as a spell of dizziness consumed you. “Fuck.”

Blinking the stars away again, your stomach dropped at the empty room. Had Shen Mei left you? Just like that? A sense of unease settled in your chest, blending with a strange kind of hurt. Why would she have just left you?

You shook your head, rising unsteady to your feet. If there was something wrong with the sub, you needed to get the fuck out of there, with or without Shen Mei. Stumbling the first few steps, you kept a hand on the wall next to you as you exited the room.

It was strangely empty, the infinite darkness from the power outage creeping in on you. Something felt off. You took two steps to the left, hesitating on the third. With a glance in either direction, your stomach really started to turn.

Which way was out?

Your growing fear was amplified tenfold as a crash rang through the hall, followed by what sounded to be some sort of high pitched ringing. Squinting against the darkness, you strained to make out any shapes, ignoring the dull aching in your head, until-

“Leon? What are you- ARE THOSE RATS?”

You barely caught his gaze, watching his brows scrunch together at the sight of you, before his hand caught your wrist to drag you along with him, not even faltering in his pace. 

“Yep!” He cried, yanking you forward on unsteady feet. The sudden rush of movement sent your head spinning again, and you tripped against the ground, shuddering at the brush of fur against your ankles.

“Leon wait! I can’t-” you choked on nothing, hissing as another wave of pain coursed through your head. Stumbling again, Leon finally slowed his pace. His hand found your jaw, tilting your head towards him for a brief moment, and then he was guiding you behind him, unholstering his handgun.

In your daze, you barely processed the sharp gunshot that rang through the cabin. Nor did you notice the second one. Before you could blink, an arm was around your waist, hauling your feet off the ground with a jolt.

You blinked, senses slowly returning to you, only to realize you were dangling just above a mass of water, electricity and… dying rats. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around Leon, digging your nails into his jacket and curling your legs around him. He grunted at the movement, his arm tightening its hold against your waist. 

“Oh my God!” you cried, reaching a free arm to find your own grip on the structure he was dangling from. “Here- you’re gonna fall, get another grip on it!” Leon blinked, his gaze flickering from the water below to your expression, darting up again to what you assumed was a nasty gash across your forehead. 

“I’ll be fine,” he grunted, straining against your combined weight. “Don’t want you to lose your balance and fall.”

The swell in your heart was suppressed by your concern as he grumbled once more. You tried to ignore the pain as you supported more of your own weight, feeling Leon’s grip loosen only slightly to allow your adjustment. You watched his brows furrow and relax again, a heavy breath escaping his lips and fanning against the side of your cheek. You sucked in a breath of your own, willing the images of his lips out of your head. 

“That’s a nasty cut there,” he commented, as if there weren’t hundreds of rats burning to death just inches below your feet. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” you parroted, at least somewhat unintentionally. He shot you a look, and you couldn’t help the twitch in your lips. “When the sub crashed or whatever I fell and clipped the table.” Leon nodded his head, his brows knitting together again.

“What about Shen Mei?”

“I dunno,” you gulped, letting your gaze fall to the side. It almost felt like his face was growing closer to yours. “She was there one second and gone the next. I think-” you sighed, your own brows knitting together. “I think she might have left me.”

Leon’s grip tightened on you, his expression hardening until it looked like stone. He glared daggers into the water that you were just beginning to realize had washed away. 

“Leon?”

His gaze found yours, expression softening ever so slightly.

“When we find her…” he trailed off. Though there wasn’t an obvious threat in his tone, you could still sense his distrust. There was a hardened edge to his voice, as if he were angry with something. As he stared off against the side of the sub, you cleared your throat, uttering his name once again.

“Hmm?”

“The water’s washed away,” you muttered, turning your attention back to the damp metallic flooring. Leon simply hummed again, hesitating in the moment with his arm still tight around your waist. It may have been the solid throbbing in the back of your head, or the fact that you’d literally just run away from a swarm of demonic rats, but it felt as though the energy changed between you. It grew thicker, more charged with something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

After another beat, Leon finally muttered a warning, and you dropped your arms around his neck again as he let go of the bar above, landing steady on the ground beneath you. His arm slipped from your waist, his free hand reaching up to brace each of your arms as you swayed. 

In that moment you felt his breath against your cheeks again, sending a warm shudder down your spine. Glancing up, you were met with his intent stare, the shocking blue of his eyes glowing bright even in the dim, flashing red of the room. His gaze drew you in, and you didn’t realize you were leaning closer until your chests touched. 

“You okay?” he breathed, low and soft. His voice had an extra scratch to it, his hands tightening on your arms as yours fell to his waist. 

“Yeah-” Your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat, catching an amused glint flash in his eyes. “Yes, I’m okay. How about you, muscles?” 

Leon chuckled at your teasing, his stomach tightening as you poked at his abs. God, they were more defined than you’d been expecting, and your mouth grew a little dry.

“‘m good.” He reached up, his hand hovering over the sore spot on your forehead before brushing a few strands of hair away from the space. Your eyes fluttered shut, and in that moment, you felt his lips just barely brush across your temple. 

Cue the barrage of butterflies in your stomach.

“C’mon,” Leon took your hand, slowly breaking away from whatever embrace you’d been locked in. “Let’s go find those assholes that got us into this mess. I have some words I’d like to share.”

[genesis-otto]

If there is one thing that I'm sure of, it's that the losers club always bake cakes for their birthdays. But as we all know, they are iDiOtS. And their cakes are just...bad. I don't mean the taste, the cake always tastes good cause there are some responsible people in this group who somehow manage to do this part right. It's the visual that is horrible. Like do you imagine them trying to decorate the cake without fucked it up on purpose (or not) ? Yeah me neither. So here is what I imagine all the cake that the losers have done one year :

This one is for Bill, it was the first time that they actually made a real cake so he is ugly as fuck. Bill is born in january which makes him the oldest of the losers and I would imagine the losers always making fun of Bill for being old. And since he is the first to celebrate his birthday, the others will totally tease him all the time with the fact that he has now like 15 while all of them are still at 14. This nightmare will last until Beverly finally celebrates her own birthday in february. One entire month of torture for Bill Denbrough.

Bev is the only girl of the group and I'm sure that sometimes she's just so done with the bullshit of the other losers. She always reminds them that "boys are trash, but no offense guys." So it was obvious for them to make her a cake ridiculously girly with that beautiful sentence on it. (The cake is way better than Bill's cause they eventually did practice for it to be perfect. 'Bev deserves a perfect cake' they all said. It took them at least three tries before to manage to make it look good).

This one is obviously Richie's. They did it the year when Richie officially came out to them. They wanted to make a trash cake at first (Eddies and Bills idea) but Stan thought that making a gay joke was funnier. Mike agreed saying that it would show that they truthfully support their gay favorite trashmouth <3. (Eddie still used colors that didn't match together cause he wouldn't let go the trash idea).

(I don't know who are the people on the pictures, but let's just pretend that there are the guys of the new kids on the block). So this one is Ben's. It's Bev that came up with the idea and all of the others followed her cause they like to make fun of Ben for his, as Richie says, bad tastes in music. Ben still was happy when he saw his cake (and he ignored the comments of his friends) cause he thought that his cake was matching with Bev's.

This is Stan's cake. Who is surprised ? Not me. It was a collective message of all the group and Stanley flipped them off when he read what they had written (even if he found it funny, which he will never tell out loud). He also tried to say that he didn't need to go to therapy that bad but they're all traumatized, Stan fooled no one. (Bill promised him that they'll make him a bird's one for the next year so Stan was happy).

Mike is a sweetheart and they all know that. So they HAD to make him a cool cake. They know that Mike LOVES the animals at his farm so they wanted to make him a cute cow. They eventually manage to not completely fucked it up and Mike, very happy with his cake, give it a name. So when Bev tried to cut the cake for eating it, Mike took it away from her because "YOU CAN'T EAT JOHNNY, HE'S MY CHILD."

Eddie is the youngest, born in september. And oh god you don't know how long it seemed for Richie who was waiting for this moment all the year. Since the first time making a cake for Bill, he already knew what he wanted to do for Eddie's when it'll be his turn. The losers all made the cake and it was pretty nice. They left it one moment without supervision and it took only one minute to Rich to fuck it up. He was very proud when the others came back with Eddie and saw the note. Richie died this day.

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Week - March 27, 2023

🐢 - Why did the 90-year-old tortoise become a father? Because he finally came out of his shell!

1. New Mexico governor signs bill ending juvenile life sentences without parole

New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham has signed a bill into law that prevents juvenile offenders from receiving life sentences without eligibility for parole. The bill, known as the No Life Sentences for Juveniles Act, allows offenders who committed crimes under the age of 18 and received life sentences to be eligible for parole hearings 15 to 25 years into their sentences.

This legislation also applies to juveniles found guilty of first-degree murder, even if they were tried as adults. The move puts New Mexico in a group of at least 24 other states and Washington, DC, that have enacted similar measures following a 2021 Supreme Court ruling.

2. Promising pill completely eliminates cancer in 18 leukaemia patients

An experimental pill called revumenib has shown promise in curing terminal leukemia patients who were not responding to treatment in a long-awaited clinical trial in the United States. The drug works by inhibiting a specific protein called menin, which is involved in the machinery that gets hijacked by leukemia cells and causes normal blood cells to turn into cancerous ones.

The pill targets the most common mutation in acute myeloid leukemia, a gene called NPM1, and a less common fusion called KMT2A. The US Food and Drug Administration granted revumenib "breakthrough therapy designation" to fast-track its development and regulatory review based on the promising results of the trial.

3. Spain passes law against domestic animal abuse

Spain has passed a new law on animal welfare, accompanied by a reform of the penal code that increases prison sentences for those mistreating animals. The law will make compulsory training for dog owners, and will prohibit them from leaving their dogs alone for more than 24 hours.

It also mandates the sterilisation of cats, with exceptions for farms, and increases the penalties for mistreatment of animals to up to two years in prison, or three years in the event of aggravating circumstances.

4. Bravery medals for women who raced into 'rough, crazy' surf to save drowning girls

Elyse Partridge (far left) and Bella Broadley (far right) raced into dangerous surf to save Chloe and Violet from drowning.(ABC North Coast: Hannah Ross)

Bella Broadley and Elyse Partridge saved two 11-year-old girls from drowning at Angels Beach near Ballina, an unpatrolled beach in Australia. The younger girls, Chloe and Violet, became trapped in a rip and overwhelmed by waves and the current. Bella and Elyse jumped into action, using an esky lid as a flotation device to help them swim to the girls. Elyse helped Chloe back to shore while Bella swam further out to help Violet.

Elyse and Bella were on Wednesday named on the Governor General's Australian Bravery Decorations Honours List, which recognised 66 Australians for acts of bravery.

5. Almost every cat featured in viral Tik Tok posted by Kansas City animal shelter adopted

Let's find homes for the rest

6. A 90-year-old tortoise named Mr. Pickles just became a father of 3. It's a big 'dill'

These critically endangered tortoises are native to Madagascar and have seen their numbers decline due to over-collection for illegal sales on the black market. Captive breeding programs have helped produce new radiated tortoises, but the species still faces extinction in the wild.

That's why the arrival of these hatchlings, born to 90-year-old Mr. Pickles and his 53-year-old partner Mrs. Pickles, is such great news. Mr. Pickles is considered the most genetically valuable radiated tortoise in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums' Species Survival Plan, and the births represent a significant contribution to the survival of the species.

7. EU strikes ‘ground-breaking’ deal to cut maritime emissions

The European Parliament and EU ministers have agreed on a new law to cut emissions in the maritime sector. The law aims to reduce ship emissions by 2% as of 2025 and 80% as of 2050, covering greenhouse gas, methane, and nitrous oxide emissions.

The European Commission will review the law in 2028 and will decide whether to place carbon-cutting requirements on smaller ships. The agreement will also require containerships and passenger ships docking at major EU ports to plug into the on-shore power supply as of 2030. Penalties collected from those that fail to meet the targets will be allocated to projects focused on decarbonising the maritime sector.

- - - -

That's it for this week :)

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[sleepy-spacetronaut]

Gravity Falls fanfic plot idea

After a long moment of debating I decided to write down something I could incorporate my Human!Bill design into. (Why do all my writing ideas come to me at the worst possible times?!)

Some plot related specificities

Bill has a human form he maintains up until he managed to restore his magic back to 50% of its initial quantity.

Stanley would have some amnesiac episodes and holes in his memory.

Subsequently, Bill would offer to help restore some of them since he saw most of his memories back when he tried to possess him in Season 1.

Mabel and Dipper would turn 16 during the summer (story happens 2 years post weirdmaggedon)

One-sided BillFord (romantically) most likely, it could become queerplatonic with mutual bickering.

High chances of the story being anachronistic for the sole purpose of using some Gen Z slang and songs from the 2010s.

We will try to stick as close to the canon as possible, until we jump into complete and utter weirdness powered by imagination.

The plot itself

Main idea is that the initial “forced therapy for millions of years” solution failed miserably. Knowing that Bill is chaos incarnate, he would be driving the theraprism staff mad for the sake of getting a rise out of people. He’d make arts and crafts with his meds, bullsh*t his way through therapy sessions ,and draw cringe stuff about him and Ford dominating the multiverse together, whenever he’s not drawing red, blue and yellow triangles all over his room/cell.

The story would most likely begin with Bill getting thrown back to earth for being an annoying little equilateral freak.

The logic behind this is that if therapy couldn’t cure him, and sending him to Hell would be the same as sentencing an unworthy man to ostracism in ancient Athens, then shipping him off to earth (buttnaked and with no powers) and letting him fend for his life as a lowly human is their best option at getting him to ‘learn his lesson’.

I love the Handyman Bill AU (credit to @/LosanPostle & @/waty_mot on Twitter*), so Bill will be taken in by Soos and Melody to work in the mystery Shack, however at first Bill will sneak in pretending to be an overly curious tourist and try to find a way to Ford’s laboratory. Only after getting discovered , the Axolotl would materialize in their realm to explain the reason why the dream demon was back, and ask Soos and Melody if they were okay to give Bill a place to stay for the time of his ‘redemption arc’.

With some compromises they accept, Bill must to wear an ankle monitor at all times and the Axolotl grants its protection to all the people who live in the town in case Bill tries anything silly! (e.g. Weirdmaggedon 2 since one near end-of-the-world experience clearly wasn’t enough for him)

At first he’d be casually helping out around when asked before it became his unofficial job, but the trouble settle in when the Stan twins return from their trip. They arrive at the shack two weeks before Mabel and Dipper returned for their summer vacation to visit their grunkles.

Once the younger Pines are in town, Bill will be attempting to gain their trust—this part is both difficult and incredibly delicate.

After the way he had actively tried to murder , had tortured (physically and psychologically), impersonated and lied to the Pines (and everyone else in Gravity Falls for that matter), people would first try to avoid even being in the same room as him. Eventually, he got to earn their trust by keeping to his end of he bargain each time he made promises and by actually doing favours for them.

Besides cleaning the shack and running many errands at a time, Bill would also get dragged into some perilous adventures with and without his consent, and will eventually develop a fondness for the people he’ve sworn to hate.

Mabel would probably become his favourite, he’d see her as a younger sister or perhaps as a daughter, although he wouldn’t qualify as a good caretaker. With Dipper, Bill would often get into disagreements, but their love for science, strategy games and music brought them together; they’d often sing some BABBA songs and be dorky and unserious.

Regarding his love life, it was a major flop: despite his and Mabel’s efforts, he couldn’t get back with Sixer. The cut in their withered relationship was too deep to heal with time, and romantic fantasies were quickly dumped in the trash along with crumpled love notes. Although, despite not being able to see him as a romantic partner, Ford accepted the possibility of a renewal of their friendship. Bill even got to share a moment with Ford on the roof one night and rest his head on Ford’s shoulder as they gazed at the stars. Everything seems to be going great.

For once in his existence, Bill had almost everything he’d ever wanted, in a way. A place he could call home, he had friends—and family, to an extent… However, he wasn’t satsfied with what he had, and would still snoop around Ford’s stuff to see if he can make his powers return (which they do indeed, slowly by surely), yet more passively.

At one point, at the end of July, he got caught by Stanford looking through some old books and writing down magic circles. A heated argument broke out, in which both of them got injured, and it cumulated too Ford threatening to erase Bill a second time via the memory gun he kept from McGucket. In the end, Ford states that Bill will never be a part of the Pines family, that his lying was proof of the impossibility of his redemption, and that the next time he wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of him.

Upset beyond measure, Bill packs his stuff and choses to leave the town without a word of goodbye. At the edge of the town, he found his way blocked by the natural weirdness containment barrier, since his magic would almost be the same as half of what he had prior to his death and resurrection in the Theraprism. Even more enraged, Bill tried to break the barrier, transforming into something close to his feral form when he was a triangle—except in human form he’d look something like a Titan. Mabel and Dipper also had ran off in search for Bill because they got worried, and when they tried to stop him, they got captured. Bill was almost about to crush them in his hands if it weren’t for Melody, Soos, Stan and Ford’s intervention.

He then shrunk back to regular human proportions and released the twins, who got back to their grunkles. Feeling as if he had messed it up yet again, and not wanting to face the consequences to his actions (both due to him being still bitter with the way Ford treated him and being scared because he overstepped the agreement Soos had with the Axolotl and did not want to be returned to the Theraprism) Bill chose to run. He took off into the woods before anyone could stop him. Would he survive the woods and it’s inhabitants?

Would he get back to the shack?

Would he travel to another dimension and attempt to ‘fix’ everything, or will his existence be doomed to a catastrophic ending?

Only time will tell.

Now a little poll time, should I bring this to life or shall it forever be a theoretical thing, too dangerous (or boring?) to be applied in practice?

*note regarding the AU: there’s an account here where the creators of the Handyman Bill AU post their comics, they can be found under the tag or simply by searching the name of the AU in the search bar.

[onyx-archer]

So... Let's Talk About THAT

I want to start this by saying that I haven't purchased Double Exposure, and I have no plans on doing so because of what this post is about. I know very little about the game, but I do know about the Chloe stuff. That was the one thing I wanted to know about going into the game before I committed to a purchase. Not specifically because of a ship or whatever (though that's certainly a factor), but how they go about justifying Chloe not being in the Double Exposure.

I say that because I knew, based on the marketing for the game being as cagey as it is in regards to Chloe. I knew there'd be some kind of justification to not have her around, because how else are they going to make the game's story work with both endings being "respected." And that's the key word here: respect.

Normally, I'd at least abide by my spoiler policy, where I would mark spoilers for stuff that's super new for like, a month. However, because of what this entails, I really can't be nice enough to do that, as everything I've seen has genuinely made me go "how is this 'respecting' the player's choice from LiS1?!"

Under the cut, there will be spoilers for Life Is Strange as a series. As I write this sentence, I don't know how much I'll go into it, so be warned. I know Double Exposure isn't even fully out, but man, I have a lot to say about this ONE THING in it that has me annoyed to no end.

So... in Double Exposure, the one thing a lot of fans of the first game were wondering was "why is Chloe not in the game?" Some were hopeful that she would be, but realistically, there was no way that was possible without the game's budget being higher. At best, we'd get some new voice lines, but that's about it. Why? Because Deck Nine wanted to "respect" the ending of LiS1 for the players who chose the "Bay" ending. Chloe, in case y'all forgot, fucking DIES in that ending, so she'd, at best, get a cameo appearance in the game where Max returns unless it was decided that the game was set in a timeline where Chloe survived.

It is very clear to me from the jump that unless they made that choice, they'd not have Chloe be around. It was likely that they'd make it so the pair broke up in some capacity (be it as friends or lovers, it didn't really matter), and as much as I didn't want that aspect to be true, it ended up actually being the case. As a fan of Pricefield, this sucks, but as a person who understood from the start that the game would have to find a way to dodge the issue of Chloe in some capacity to tell the story Deck Nine wanted to tell, I could accept it. So long as the way they did so was respectful to the original vision of the characters in some capacity.

And because I'm writing this post at all, it's pretty obvious that isn't what happened.

I want to be perfectly clear when I say that the break up, conceptually, makes sense as a mechanism for a story about Max. In my mind, it would make sense that Max and Chloe's relationship would have some bumps caused by the sheer amount of trauma Max endured during the tail end of LiS1. Finding out that a person you looked up to (Jefferson) was a total psycho who was obsessed with you and likely would have tried something worse than just taking gross pictures of you would leave a person pretty fucking messed up for years. Add onto that the fact that she basically had to do the trolly problem in real life, with the choices being her hometown and it's entire population... or a person she loves so much she couldn't imagine living without them (be it as a friend, or as more than that)... and you'd probably have a therapy bill the size of the Olympus Mons before you started feeling "relatively normal" again.

In a world where the people who were writing the game were better at their jobs, at least in this capacity, they'd look at that, and see how it'd affect a relationship. Max being unable to properly move on, with the only person she can reliably talk to about it being someone she very much wouldn't want to trauma dump on (since you can't exactly tell a shrink that you had time travelled so much that you caused a titanic sized waterspout to level an entire costal town without getting institutionalized), given that said person is likely grappling with a lot of shit themselves (survivor's guilt, for one)... yeah a break up of some kind, even if only a temporary one, is kind of inevitable. Time apart might be something you both need to properly heal.

This would also allow the story to at least try to deal with Max's trauma in a way that is comparable in scope based on both decisions, and it would make sense. If Max were the one to break off the relationship, citing a need to have some time apart to get her head on straight (metaphorically speaking, we all know she ain't straight), it'd make sense that said choice could blow up in her face and leave her a bit emotionally frazzled. Chloe is a person who very obvious abandonment issues, so a decision like that from Max, even if it was only for a while, would likely lead to a much more stressful situation, regardless of how close they are.

This, in turn, would allow the "Bay" ending to be about Max not being able to get over her choice to functionally kill her own best friend, and all of the things she never got to say. The grief being something she struggles with for a decade (or however long it is between LiS1 and DE) would make sense. It'd be in character. Max is a character who is indecisive, and is prone to fussing over mistakes she feels she makes, especially with Chloe. She buries those kinds of feelings in a box until she's forced to confront them. Then she tries to over compensate for her shortcomings. We know she does this because she immediately jumps to help Chloe look for Rachel at the first real chance she gets as a way for her to at least sort of make up for the 5 years of basically no contact. Yeah, there are other reasons she does this, but it can be pretty easily inferred that Max, since Max's whole power allows her to go back in time, which is, in theory, the ultimate way to fix your past mistakes.

I'd be fine if the breakup was purely Max running from a problem she doesn't want to properly deal with. With her being reminded of her choice that killed hundreds of people for one person, even if that person means everything to her. Some people crumple under less, and Max is very much an insecure person, so she'd crumple like a wet napkin eventually.

They could have very easily made a core part of the game Max learning to let go of that part of her past, to finally make peace with her choice. You could even have it be a case where her powers leave her for good, with some kind of, I dunno, storm of butterflies (which I feel could very easily serve as a symbol of Max connection to Chloe, and not as just a symbol for Chloe exclusively). Regardless of the Bae or Bay choice, having her powers literally fly away would also be a way of saying that she's finally "grown up," and that her burdens have been eased, with them flying away with her powers. The guilt? Yeah, there'd always be a little, that shit never goes away, but she'd no longer wallow in it. The trauma? She'd be able to accept it as a thing that happened, and move on in a more healthy way.

If Chloe and her were a couple, maybe she'd end the game with a phone call, reaching out to Chloe in an effort to repair their relationship, to say that she's "done living in the past." She could literally say something like "I'm done rewinding, I'm just going to look to the future, and leave the past where it is." We'd probably all cheer at that kind of sappy bullshit. It'd be sapphic as hell, and it'd be awesome.

But no. That's too nice a thought. Deck Nine had other plans.

In the game, as it is now, there is a distinct problem with the breakup working, and that's the way it happens. In Double Exposure (at least up to Episode 2, as that's all that's currently available), the game is quick to brush aside the idea that Max and Chloe were ever really a thing, and wants the player to go right into being interested in having Max romance the New characters that Deck Nine made for the game! Why'd they break up? Because Chloe is afraid that Max is using her rewind powers (which she supposedly hasn't since Blackwell), and that, because of those powers, she's always going to be living in the past. That she, Chloe fucking Price, just wants to be a free spirit and live for the future, and that, "as much as it hurts," that might be a future without Max in it.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

Chloe Price, the bony sack of trauma, cigarette smoke, and well documented abandonment issues, is the one breaking off a relationship? Are you serious? You gotta be fucking with me Deck Nine! You wrote a whole ass game about this character, and my opinion of that game aside (I think Before the Storm is dogshit btw), you still miss one of the core aspects of Chloe's whole character? How do you miss the point by this much?

And then... a self-proclaimed former staff member at Deck Nine spoke up on Reddit... said some stuff, and it all started to make sense.

See, Deck Nine has, at least somewhat recently, come under fire for their dogshit working conditions. There were several articles showcasing how toxic that place was to work for a number of reasons by several publications. The writing was on the wall, but a lot of people, myself included, tried to not see it, and just be hopeful for a new LiS game. While I really don't like BtS, I very much enjoyed True Colors, so I was at least a little optimistic.

However, if that supposed former employee is to be believed in any capacity (we can at least say they likely are a former employee, as another former employee basically called them out on Twitter for trying to start a hate brigade... even though they didn't), then Double Exposure was doomed from the start. The creative leads on the project, allegedly, HATE Chloe, and would shoot down ideas that would be more respectful of her in All Hands On Deck (Nine) meetings, even though they asked for ideas due to how they wrote themselves into a bloody corner whilst working on the game the way they did.

Then there's the fact that supposedly some people at the publisher dislike Chloe because they feel that Ashly Burch shit on Before the Storm post-launch (which she didn't, btw), despite her working on a game that replaced her voice with another actress due to a strike. They hired a "scab" to voice the characters, and that might have upset Ashly, a union member. Fair enough. But apparently some people didn't like Rhianna DeVries, which the publisher heard, and said "don't bring her back for any big appearances" or something? So they aren't going to recast again, they aren't going to bring back Ashly for petty reasons, and they aren't going to even bring Rhianna back again (she had a small voice role in True Color's Wavelengths DLC), even though most people are fine with her? Hell, I think she's a damn highlight in the cast for BtS, and I hate that game.

Then I got to thinking: is there evidence that Deck Nine hates Chloe, despite working on Before the Storm? Short answer: I think so, yeah. Long answer? Well...

One thing that is notable about Before the Storm, at least from my perspective, is that said game did a pretty middling job with characters that were introduced in the original game, despite being a prequel. Nathan is nothing like how he is in LiS1, nor is David. Rachel doesn't even remotely come off as the kind of character that people would talk about the way they do in LiS1 after she goes missing (what with her being a big Laura Palmer parallel and all). Fuck, they made Victoria willing to roofie someone to get ahead, which a lot of people called out as tone deaf as hell given what happens to her in LiS1.

But in that same breath, the game introduces a handful of new, Deck Nine original characters, and that's clearly where the effort was. Some were better than others, of course, Samantha was largely pointless and amounted to nothing, Rachel's Parents are just not well written, and Damon is such a bland attempt at a villain... Don't even get me started on the Elliot Rogers looking ass character that shares a first name with that whackjob.

But you wanna know who Deck Nine really likes? Steph Gingrich. And you know what, so do I. I like Steph a lot. She's like, the best thing to come out of that game. But when you pull back and analyze who Steph is, something notable stands out: she's basically Deck Nine's take on "what if Chloe wasn't a bitchy bitch?"

Think about it: Steph is a queer girl wearing a beanie (Chloe's basic aesthetic), enjoys nerdy stuff and Blade Runner (Chloe, even before joining their D&D sessions, was a closet weeb back before she lost her dad), is into punk rock (so much so that she forms a punk band, Drugstore Makeup, with a former girlfriend), likes to smoke weed (to be fair, a lot of characters in LiS do), and even gets a healthy dose of trauma from the storm killing her own mom, or losing two very close friends, one of which is the same person Chloe lost (this is more a Max parallel, but you get it). She even has a pretty distinct "voice" in how she talks that most people can pick out of a crowd pretty easily (which, to be fair, isn't hard, since True Colors has a very muted cast in this respect). Hell, she can even romantically end up with a bisexual with super powers! She's literally just "what if Chloe was more of a nerd and less of an asshole."

This isn't to shit on Steph at all, again, I love Steph, she's great. I'm not even mad about the obvious parallels between her and Chloe. They were friends, of course aspects of them are going to be similar. But when you take those things into consideration when reading that Deck Nine supposedly hates Chloe... and you see how hard the series has pushed Steph (Steph has her own DLC story, a full ass novel about stuff she did between her two appearances, and a comic where she and Alex act as the cool lesbian surrogate parents to a runaway girl with powers), you can sort of pick up on some subliminal parallels. It's hard not to when Deck Nine has a clear bias for a character they made, and how they dislike a character they didn't, despite the overlap.

I could just be reaching, but when I put the pieces in front of me in the context of "Deck Nine hates Chloe" it just adds up. It's kind of hard not to think Deck Nine does hate Chloe, given that before we even find out the specifics of the break up, they have Safi ask Max if she's interested in the new female love interest the devs cooked up immediately after Max tries to basically shut down the conversation about why she and Chloe broke up. Even in the context of Chloe dying, it's clear what they're doing here, and it's not even remotely subtle.

Even if a lot of this is just bullshit, it's clear that Deck Nine had no real intention of "respecting" anything. Why? Because Double Exposure very clearly wants to operate under the pretense that you chose to Sacrifice Chloe. It's the only way the game really works in anyway that's even remotely "respectful" to any fans. The fact that they rejected the premise of DE being set in a timeline where Chloe was definitively DEAD, even though members of the team suggested that should be how they approached this game's story, says that they had no real intention of respecting the integrity of the choice LiS1 players made. Regardless of the reasons why they did this, respect is NOT one of those reasons. They had a story they wanted to tell, but forced themselves to try and fit the square peg into the round hole.

This game already decided to not respect the original creators at Don't Nod by having it be about Max, when they said Max and Chloe's stories were "done." I get it, that's a decision they likely didn't make themselves... but they could have at least tried harder to respect the characters they were given to make a story about a little more.

For all I know, the remaining 3 Episodes of Double Exposure may allow the player to have Max and Chloe reconcile at the end if you don't romance any of the new characters. Maybe that's an ending, and I'm mad for basically just bad writing... but I nevertheless won't be supporting this game with my money as things currently stand.

[jonsaremembers]

Write me some continuous sentences wench <3

Dan is fast asleep in Phil’s arms. Their shirts are off and they’re cozy under the covers. Some movie was playing, but Phil turned it off midway once Dan fell asleep, feeling quite tired himself. Dans left arm is draped over Phil’s chest, hand loosely clenching his side. His face is smushed into Phil’s armpit, full of folds and silly contortion. The hand of Phil’s trapped arm bends inward to feel Dans soft hair, the thick and thin waves between his fingers. He dopily stares at his divine soulmate through sinking lids.

(Sorry this lowkey got away from me but please add more pleaseeee)

His mind is wandering in that way that just precedes sleep, where sometimes he ends up in a thought and can't remember quite how he got there. Micro sleeps, he calls them, like the ones he had when he went to that sensory deprivation tank just before COVID. He supposes that's a sign of how relaxed he is at the moment. All is right with the world: he's warm and comfy and Dan is smushed as close to him as it is humanly possible to be.

He cards Dan's curls between his fingers.

They'd had a fight earlier. Nothing monumental. Dan came blowing into the lounge already in a foul mood, or so it had seemed to Phil, and demanded to know why the fuck the kitchen sink was running. Phil clapped a hand to his mouth and dashed to go turn it off, because he'd been in the middle of something and then wandered away and obviously hadn't meant to leave it on. The racing in his brain of "how long was that on what's the water bill going to look like I've flooded the house oh god oh god" had been so loud he had to deal with it immediately, and the part of his brain responsible for civilized speech or listening to other humans had simply not been in charge.

When he'd pushed the tap to the off position and checked for flooding (mercifully finding none), he'd turned around to see Dan leaning against the kitchen counter, staring Phil down like a predator, practically with a literal storm cloud over his head.

It devolved quickly, Phil snapping that he'd not been ignoring Dan, just hurrying to fix the problem, how was that wrong, and Dan retorting that he expected Phil to answer his fucking questions instead of just streaking out of the room, and Phil wanted, desperately, to explain that he couldn’t, that his brain had just gone into crisis mode until he could fix it. But of course now his brain was in crisis mode again, and he found it difficult to speak or form thoughts, and Dan just kept shouting at him and getting more and more frustrated that Phil was silent.

He'd wanted to throw things, he remembers. Smash a plate to the ground and shut Dan up with the shock of it. He silently damns himself for always being Too Nice. It's practically his branding at this point. He'd like to really let loose. Maybe he should go to one of those smash therapy room things.

It had progressed to a slammed door and Phil sitting, frozen, on the stool by the counter. Some time after, Dan had texted him and offered to order Indian, what did Phil want, and Phil accepted that for the measly peace offering that it was, and now they're here in bed and Dan is asleep and Phil knows from long experience that he only falls asleep this early in the night when he's having a bad brain day.

But Dan had still started it, Phil thinks stubbornly. Was it really so hard to just see that Phil was struggling and take a few seconds so they could both breathe?

As if Phil's thoughts could penetrate his brain somehow, Dan takes a long, content breath through his nose and snuffles it out again, settling more heavily into Phil's side as his body relaxes.

Phil wants to cry. Even after the day they've had, Dan still loves him, still falls asleep half-naked in his arms, vulnerable and trusting. He feels like a deflated balloon that someone popped but failed to throw away after a birthday party - limp, forgotten, clammy. Anger from the things he didn't get to say had been the air, yanked from him before he could do anything, and now he was just waiting for it to pass so things would be all right again.

He clasps Dan tighter in his arms.

Dan stirs. "You okay?" he mumbles.

"Yah." Phil wills himself not to cry. Dan will know. Dan always knows.

"Promise?"

Phil hesitates. "I will be."

"Thinking?" Dan slides off Phil to stretch onto the mattress on his stomach, never opening his eyes, the dim light from between the blinds throwing his long lashes into sharp relief. "About earlier?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," Dan says.

"What for?" Phil asks, instinctually peacemaking, and then thinks he'll let the question stand.

"Shouting at you, of course."

A beat. Phil thinks about whether to just say thank you and move on.

"It really overwhelmed me, Dan."

"It did?"

"Yes. I froze up. And it really hurt me that you didn't seem to see it."

"Well, I-" Dan starts, and then cuts himself off. "Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry that I overwhelmed you and didn't check in to see how you were feeling. That was unkind of me."

"Thank you," Phil says, and tucks himself into Dan's side. "Will you scratch my back?"

Dan makes a grumbly noise, but pries his arm out from under Phil, drops it over his back and begins to lightly rub the pads of his fingers back and forth. Gradually, Phil slips into sleep.

[mahkinarya]

I Wonder how bill ended working with ford as a bartender, like, ford convince him to joining? Or is this like the contract they both made insted of entering ford's mind?

In this au, instead of getting sent to the Theraprism, Bill's been sentenced to a life of normalcy - no powers, no minions, and the humdrum of paying your bills on time and buying groceries. The Axolotl's set him up with the bar, thinking the environment would be good for him somehow. Maybe interacting with its patrons and staff and learning how to be human would give him some character development. Or he might just suffer through customer service, which is as good of a punishment outside of group therapy it gets.

[ouiyesplease]

Tropes (minus the patriarchy)

The Damsel Has a Degree: She doesn’t wait to be rescued. She does press charges against her captor.

The Chosen One Chooses Herself: She rejects the prophecy and starts her own business.

Villains Go to Therapy: Instead of world domination, they work through their childhood trauma.

The Magical Girl Becomes a STEM Major: Using her powers for scientific research and feminist activism.

The Brooding Hero Learns Emotional Intelligence: He stops scowling and starts going to support groups.

The Princess Takes the Throne: She overthrows the patriarchy and implements universal healthcare.

Enemies to Feminist Allies: They join forces to dismantle the system that pit them against each other.

The Magical Sword Is Feminist AF: It only works for women who support other women.

The Sidekick Gets Equal Pay: No more doing 80% of the work for 20% of the credit.

The Knight in Shining Armour Becomes a Stay-at-Home Dad: And he loves every second of it.

The Quest Is for Equal Rights: They set out to slay the wage gap instead of dragons.

The Mentor Learns to Listen: Instead of dispensing wisdom, he starts a “Men Against Mansplaining” club.

The Heroine Opts for Platonic Soulmates: Because romantic love isn’t the only form of love that matters.

The Hero Learns About Intersectionality: He realizes “saving the world” requires far more than one big weapon-wielding battle.

The Fairy Tale Ends in a Women’s March: The kingdom rallies for equality instead of a royal wedding.

The Hero Doesn’t Kill the Dragon: Because the dragon is an endangered species and conservation matters.

The Prince Learns to Take Rejection: No more pestering; he respects “no” as a complete sentence.

The Hero’s Journey Ends in Therapy: He heals from toxic masculinity.

Mentor Works to Repay Student Loan Debt: Wisdom doesn’t pay the bills, and now they moonlight as a social media astrologist.

The Bard’s Songs Are Copyrighted: And he’s being sued for profiting from Taylor Swift’s lyrics in his “epic ballads”.

[samalvsinpanic]

Billford oneshot

I did something because I hate myself and I love to suffer :)

I have to clarify that English is not my first language, so if you notice something strange please let me know.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

I miss my life before you, Bill… That simple sentence managed to destroy what was left of Bill's spirit. Obviously he had nothing left to lose, his original form was gone, his powers were taken away by the giant lizard… he had already lost his parents, his dimension, Ford. But Bill never expected to hear that from Ford, he knew that he hated him, that what he had done was unforgivable, the therapy worked after all apparently, even so, hearing it, hearing the words that he so feared coming out of the mouth of the only being who had ever loved him, and that Bill loved with the same intensity, finished him off. Bill was still there, standing in the middle of Stanford's laboratory, and he believed that even if he managed to get his legs to respond, he would remain there forever, eternally remembering how a broken heart felt, just when he discovered that he had one. Ford kept talking, listing Bill's many and numerous mistakes, but he looked at the floor, in his ears he repeated, like in a loop, "I miss my life before you, Bill", soon he noticed that his vision was starting to get blurry, and that his cheeks were wet, Bill had never cried, not even when his dimension exploded, nor all the time he was locked up in therapy. But now the dam was broken, he tried with all his might not to make a sound, to stay upright even when his legs began to lose strength. Ford, always so empathetic, went on and on until he noticed the lack of response, there before his eyes was the most powerful being in the universe trembling, holding back the sobs that shook his body, Stanford spoke "what's wrong with you?" Bill started to laugh while he continued crying, "always the smartest, Ford, until it comes to feelings." Ford was about to complain when Bill covered his face with both hands "I too… I miss my life before you too Ford, but I do it for different reasons." Ford looked expectantly at the other man, Bill finally uncovered his face and gave Stanford the best smile he could hold on his face "I miss when I still didn't understand what it was like to love you, because I learned it when I had already lost it." Bill walked out of the lab leaving behind the man he loved, leaving behind the heart he had just discovered.

[ckret2]

So I'm assuming bill did things to make sure he wouldn't reincarnate as a baby. But it must have been a huge risk either way. A death sentence to "bill cipher" as he is this is how sparkly coin can win

This Is How Sparkly Coin Can Win

"The final stage of your therapy is making amends with the last of your victims." "Uuugh FINE. How do you want me to do that??" ":)"

[zfiledh]

Headcanons: The Owl House

In no particular order:

Luz and Camila took Amity, Hunter, Gus and Willow to Comic Con dressed like characters from Cosmic Frontier. They actually got to meet the creator(s) of Cosmic Frontier, who were very bemused by Gus and Hunter asking a multitude of questions and Gus’ warning about the giraffes. Luz and Amity got to hang out with fans of The Good Witch Azura.

After the Collector installed the new portal door, Jacob Hopkins managed to get out of jail and attempted to sneak into the house. The last anyone heard from Jacob, he was trying to set up an online fundraiser to get home from Mars (when he really was sent to a place called Quinhagak, Alaska.)

Months after Belos fell, Alador and Odalia divorced. Odalia tried to revive their original arms business, but it fell flat. Amity, Edric and Emira never spoke to her again.

Masha learned the truth about Vee and the Demon Realm. In fact, they’re one of the first humans to attend Gus’ Human Student Exchange Program.

Some sketchy ex-Coven Heads (the Potions Head, Terra, & Adrian) and Kikimora attempted to take over the Boiling Isles and replace the vacancy left by Belos. This was quickly thwarted by the B.A.T.T.s C.A.T.T.s and the Hexside squad and a thorough investigation and trial took place. Unsurprisingly, Odalia was also implicated in the plot because of the subpar Abomotons that were used. The plotters and Odalia were banished from the Boiling Isles and sent to Titan Trapper Island to live out their sentence. Kikimora worked out a plea deal and that’s how she was found working with Matt Tholomule to rebuild Bonesborough.

Eda and her dad have a better relationship these days, to Gwendolyn’s delight. Dell and Gwendolyn have also doted on King and Hunter. In fact, Eda was the one who introduced Hunter to Dell after Luz mentioned that Hunter wanted to learn how to carve Palismen.

A delegation was sent to Titan Trapper Island, and Bill is no longer the leader there. Tarak was appointed as the new leader and he promised that he and his people will not to go after the last Titan (King). It also helped that The Collector was included in that delegation to seal the deal and promised to build a portal between the two islands if the Titan Trappers behaved...and changed their way of dressing and the name of their island.

Lilith unlocked her harpy form the same way Eda did: with cookies made by Hooty. However, it wasn’t as “smooth” as Eda’s transformation, but with the help from Eda, Gwendolyn, and Camila, she was able to take control of her transformations. Hooty was also temporarily banned from the kitchen. Right after she managed this, Lilith showed off her transformation in front of Flora.

Luz told Eda what Papa Titan told her, and Eda felt honored. Though Eda was a bit offended about the Titan questioning her homemade apple blood recipe.

The Therapy Coven had never been busy after the fall of Belos. Hunter and Raine in particular spent some time with them because of the shared trauma of possession by Belos.

Hunter elected to stay with Darius, though he's always welcome with the Nocedas back in the Human Realm, with the Parks, the Blights (minus Odalia), Eda, and the senior Clawthornes.

Willow introduced Hunter to her dads after Hunter finished gushing about sewing and wolves with Darius and Eberwolf.

Boscha peaked in high school.

The Bat Queen sensed that there was something about Hunter, and Hunter told her about Flapjack’s sacrifice. After that talk, Hunter also became welcome in The Bat Queen’s forest.

Luz and Amity got more “mundane, slice-of-life dates”, both in the human realm and the demon realm.

The Collector visits King from time to time, and the Hexside squad learned to relax around them and teach them about how to approach people and play other games.

There was an attempt to introduce Camila to the food in the Boiling Isles. Suffice to say, she was only able to eat griffin eggs like Luz, though she found the animals there quite fascinating.

Viney and Jerbo eventually became friends again, to Barkus’ relief. (Barkus knew they would become friends, it was a matter of when.)

Principal Bump officially retired as Principal the following year. That was not the end of his love of education because he spent the next year to reach out to Glandus and St. Epiderm about revising their curriculum and offering multiple magic tracks.