#bill and ted are super up there too

[imperaptorfuriosa]

ethan is quickly becoming one of those characters i am the most He Would Not Fucking Say That about

[stra-tek]

Random spoilerific reasons to read Star Trek novels, with little to no context:

Ro/Quark is a thing

A Jem'Hadar joins DS9, tries to fit in but eventually snaps and tries to kill everybody

You learn the origins and final fate of the Borg

A thinly-veiled Dr. House clone joins the Voyager crew

Geordi briefly has 2 girlfriends at once (due to different writers not co-ordinating enough, but still)

There's a TOS book that's a musical

There are YA stories about Jake and Nog making mischief on DS9

YA stories about Worf, Geordi, Picard, Beverly, Kirk, Spock and McCoy at SFA

YA series about the Kelvinverse gang (including Gaila!) as cadets, taking on a drug problem at SFA and a very unique Borg scout in San Francisco

We very briefly meet the people who are to Q what the Q are to humanity

Janeway/Chakotay is a thing

Kirk's first mission in command of the Enterprise! Erm, at least twice.

Kirk was married between TOS and TMP

Her name was Lori

In the future, you have yearly marriage contracts that you either update or you don't and I think that's amazing

Trip didn't die! He faked his death to join Section 31 and go undercover as a Romulan

It's not great, tbh

The ENT books get better after the Romulan wars though, it's proper founding of the Federation stuff

We meet Jack Crusher (erm, the OG) when 4 timelines start overlapping and he's a bit unhinged

Teenage Kirk stole a car and his choice was go to jail or join Starfleet

What happened when Voyager got home? Seven broke up with Chakotay like 30 pages in

Kirk gets cloned, and his clone becomes the sub of an evil invincible super genius and its all very gay

George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the first ever mission of the unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract 1701

Robert is a hard-core pacifist and has to turn command over to George whenever it's time to fire weapons

Data becomes fully human for a couple of days and it's really sweet

They never say "wristwatch" or "phone", it's always "wrist chrono" or "personal comm"

There are gays but they don't say that word because it's the 1990's and Rick Berman runs the franchise

Spock has a son in the past with Zarabeth

Everyone in the post-Nemesis era does spy missions all the time non stop, as if Starfleet has abandoned exploring the cosmos for doing Space Mission: Impossible

Bashir does it better than anyone else, he takes on Section 31 from the inside

Remember Control? It's from the novels, except the novels do it SO MUCH BETTER.

Remember how we never found out who Future Guy was? We do.

It's very underwhelming, nobody we know

We find out how the Romulans and Vulcans split

Surak was a Vulcan internet blogger

A Borg Cube eats Pluto

Janeway dies

Janeway gets better

At least one TOS book features a wizard

There's a Star Trek TOS/Here Come the Brides crossover novel

It had cameos from The Doctor (as in, Who), Han Solo, Starbuck and others

Whole book series about Section 31

Whole book series about the Department of Temporal Investigations

One time they do the Bill and Ted thing to escape confinement and it works

Wanna know how Riker and Troi met?

Wanna know what Picard got up to on the Stargazer?

Andorians have 4 sexes and it's very complicated

Data comes back from the dead as Data 2.0, and it was fresh and exciting because it happened long before ST: Picard did it twice.

Lal comes back too and we get father/daughter android stuff! They have a home and everything but keep having to save the universe

One time Mirror Seven is led around on a leash naked on Terok Nor

Geordi becomes captain of the USS Challenger, decides it's not for him because plot, and goes back to engineering on the Enterprise

Kirk is shot on the bridge and dies

Kirk gets better

They watch 3D holos of old Doctor Who episodes in the Enterprise rec room

The Enterprise also has an AI named Moira, which was Zora long before Zora

The TOS crew get together for one last mission. About three times.

There's a Perry Mason book except it's about Kirk's lawyer from that TOS episode

Data 2.0 owns and runs a massive gambling empire on Orion

Spock keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Scotty keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Bones keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

You're on Tumblr so you already know about Killing Time

There's a guy named McKenzie Calhoun and he's a total badass and captains a ship of weirdos and misfits

Kirk comes back from the dead, saves the galaxy repeatedly, has an intersex child (who identifies as male) with a Romulan/Klingon hybrid

Kirk beats up Worf

Kirk's child has superpowers

Kirk's child saves the galaxy at age 6

The Kirk stuff is 100% ignored in the other novels

About 50% of the novels are ignored in the other 50%, and the ones that are meant to be in direct continuity with each other aren't always quite

Just like the TV shows and movies, then

Lwaxana Troi meets Q, and it goes as well as you'd expect

Someone tells Data, yes you idiot you had emotions all along and he's like, oh shit you're right

McCoy is left in command of the Enterprise as a joke by Kirk, who is then immediately kidnapped

Ro Laren is captain of Deep Space Nine

Picard/Beverly is a thing, they get married and have a child named Rene. No running away and raising your kid in secret here

Riker and Troi are married, serve on the Titan together with a bunch of adorable weirdos and have a daughter named Tasha

You get to watch all the 24th century characters die horribly in the end along with their entire universe. Holy fuck it's a bleak horror show. Personally, I love it. But if that's not your cup of tea I'd skip the Coda trilogy

[cuttlefishcommie]

Haven't posted in a while, time for a comics rant.

I love booster gold. I love him so much, he's my favourite ever comics character. He has a couple of basic powers like flight and usually blasts, but spends a lot of time using force fields, which is incredibly cool. It makes him a pretty versatile fighter. Similarly I love his costume, colourful, recognisable and not too complicated (plus it has wrist gauntlets, I love wrist gauntlets), which is basically everything you need for a good super suit.

Outside of the basics, I love his premise. He's a time travelling super hero from the future. There's tonnes of room for great time travel related adventures, which are always incredibly entertaining. Plus plenty of space for fish out of water comedy. Furthermore, the idea of a normal guy coming back from the future with high tech stuff to be a hero, is incredibly amusing and one of the most original premises for a character.

I love everything about him, I love that he's on the JLI. I love that he has a little robot buddy (Skeetz). I love that his arch nemesis is called Dick Hertz.

Boosters story is genuinely amazing. He's brash and he's bold, a confident goofball, but also a massive nerd. He comes to the past as a fame seeker with a less than noble history, he's shaky and he's not great at being a hero. He can be arrogant, and over sure of himself, and at the start he really doesn't feel that he fits in. He feels like an imposter in a world of genuine heroes. As time goes on, booster gold the og fanboy turned superhero (honestly this premise is universally delightful - looking at you Gwenpool) becomes more and more selfless. It's the greatest example of fake it till you make it, booster stop trying to hit the A list, and he's relegated to the B-tier, saving the world time and again, without anyone even knowing. Booster turns from being the arrogantly begrudging "greatest hero you've never heard" of to having that title be a thing of pride, an honoured descriptor. Booster becomes a more genuine hero than most others, all because he knew the future was brighter, and because he wanted to help people here. For many reasons, this story is incredibly personally impactful for me, but there's one other thing that I need to talk about for Booster.

This is to the fandom. Booster Golds most important relationship have never been any of his brief flings, it has never been any of the crazy characters from across time, it has never even been his family. The most important relationship booster gold has is blue beetle. Booster and Ted have one of the greatest friendships in comics. They'll hang out all the time, just for fun. They joke around together. They work together when they can. But when times are tough they always turn up for each other. It's an inspiring friendship for the ages. I understand why many people like to claim this. There are not a lot of gay relationships in comics, and that sucks. But, can we please stop this nonsense of pretending every time two people have strong feelings for each other it's romantic. Can for once, we have some characters with a very impactful friendship, that outclasses romantic bonds. I am so tired of everything being romantic, and as weird as it sounds, alongside bill and Ted's excellent adventure and Shaun of the dead, booster gold gets to be one of those breaks. So please, just for once can we accept there is in fact a platonic explanation for this, Booster and Ted are best friends, and their relationship is what being best friends should look like.

[custardcrazy]

Hi! If ur still taking requests for Ted Logan atm can I ask for super fluffy headcanons or a oneshot where he has a s/o who’s his exact opposite personality-wise (like they’re grumpy, sarcastic, cynical, and just has that “I hate everyone but you” attitude with Ted). Basically the black cat to his golden retriever. Thank u if u decide to do this!!

we've a star

summary: opposites do attract. (gn!reader)

wordcount: 1.2k

A/N: whoops, I think I projected a little. thanks for requesting!!

It was comical, how different you and your adoring boyfriend were. 

It was a comparison that many pointed out, if they didn't know either of you too well. Ted was generally optimistic to the point of obliviousness. He was cheerful, goofy, and was physically incapable of being rude to anybody; it wasn't hard to see that he was an all-around good guy. And the complete and utter truth was that you weren't any of those things. Blunt, pessimistic, always having a hard edge to your words. 

To an outsider, it seemed impossible that people who were completely diametrically opposed in terms of personality and demeanor could be in a relationship in the first place. After all, there was that old saying: "opposites attract", but that usually didn't work outside of the movies. Differences brought conflict, and the more things people had in common, the better. 

However, any of your mutual close friends would know of your insane, ridiculous soft spot for your partner-in-crime. 

Maybe the fact that Ted was so sweet was why you couldn't bring yourself to be truly mean to him. Maybe it was why you were still so incredibly attracted to him. Usually people who weren't so bright just got on your nerves, and you didn't have much patience for morons. But Ted was a special case. Sure, you teased him, but it was never anything more than that. And somehow, every time he screwed up doing something it was just cute. Nothing else. 

At first, it caught you off-guard. And it still did, but you were kinda used to it by now. 

Speaking of now. 

Your legs were propped up in his lap, and he was hunched over somewhat, scribbling on a legal pad that he probably had taken from his dad's office before he and Bill moved in together. His bangs kind of obscured his eyes, and you observed admiringly how now and then he flipped his head back in order to get them out of the way. He always had nice hair. And yes, it was as soft as it looked. 

Bill wasn't in their apartment at the moment, as he had left maybe two hours ago to go hang out with some buddies. He'd asked you and Ted if you wanted to go -- you liked Bill, of course, but the same couldn't be said for that particular group of people. The thing you wanted to do the least right now was talk to people. Or socialize with people at all. 

Ted wasn't people. 

Reclining back on the sort of disheveled green couch, which was probably suffocating under all the pillows, you briefly turned your attention to the TV. But you only got a quick glimpse of whatever cheesy sitcom was on before Ted broke the companionable silence. 

"Babe?" He turned the legal pad towards you, and the page he was using was covered in the chicken scratch otherwise known as his handwriting. Oh, he was brainstorming lyrics again. "Does this phrase in particular come off as too … crazy?" Brow furrowed, he pointed to a sentence. "I know you know that this song is supposed to be most ludicrous, but I don't wanna cross a certain line." 

"Duh, you and Bill decided to call it Trapped In Clown Land," you pointed out.

"It's a metaphor, babe!" He announced cheerfully, unphased by your dry remark. 

Sitting up to squint at the page, you realized that with how fast he'd been writing, his usual scrawl had degraded even further. Normally, you could pick out a couple letters and move from there, but it was impossible this time. 

"Uh, Ted, I can't read that." You poked him in the side with your toe. "Translation, please." 

He smiled, scratching the back of his neck. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry, babe." Lowering the pad, you noticed that even he had to focus a little to read what he'd written. 

"Shoes too big to fill / Out of fashion, but he's coming in for the kill," he recited slowly. "Something like that. Might reword it later, but I'm usually no good at rhyming stuff." The aura of self-pride radiating from him was palpable, and you reached out to ruffle his hair. He didn't protest, beaming a little. 

"I think it's fine." Shrugging, you leaned backwards again. "The big clown shoes reference is kinda direct, but just enough so it comes off as clever." For a guy who'd almost flunked English, Ted wasn't too bad at songwriting. Well, maybe you were a little biased, but you'd seen your fair share of awkward local bands to know what worked and what didn't. (Suddenly struck by a wave of intense secondhand embarrassment, you tried to suppress the memory of that one time the vocalist screwed up on stage.) 

But, thankfully, Ted intervened. "Your input is totally appreciated, babe." He leaned over, kissing you softly; it was over too soon, and he was right back to work. 

All of your efforts to dispel the cringe-worthy recollections were promptly diverted to trying to preserve your dignity and not melt into a puddle. Which was funny, because usually he was the one blushing and hiding his face. 

"Obviously," you managed to supply, and the TV suddenly looked very interesting. 

It was a little while longer before the legal pad got placed delicately (thrown) onto Ted's bed, and his arm was wound comfortably about your shoulders, his other hand in yours. Even before you started dating, something about his very, very good bear hugs was incredibly tempting. And now that you were, Ted's habit of being a cuddler had increased tenfold. 

You weren't one to break some nice peace and quiet, but this time you had a valid reason. Surprisingly. 

"Thanks for staying with me," you murmured into the crook of his neck, and even though you were used to being honest, you still felt your face heat up ever so slightly. "I know you and Bill always hang out, and you have a lot in common with those guys, too. You could've gone with them." 

" 'S really nothing," came his reply, sounding so easy and genuine. Warm. "I know that you didn't wanna go out today. Especially after you ranted about Jenna being most bothersome at work. It's totally understandable." 

You scoffed, unable to help your natural urges to make at least one venomous comment when prompted. Still, the mushy feelings in your heart didn't dissipate. "Like she always has. Isn't it a requirement for someone who works at Claire's to at least have the capacity to put up with whining tween girls?" 

"It should be," agreed Ted, his thumb running over your knuckles in a slow, gentle motion. "But don't pay too much mind to it, babe. You only gotta deal with her for, like, a couple hours." 

"It's still too long." You softened, tone growing more affectionate rather than irritated. "Not everyone has your patience." 

"But -- " 

He opened his mouth, probably to protest or deflect -- most likely at the same time, but this time you were the one who leaned up to kiss him. Unsurprisingly, it took him a second, but he quickly reciprocated, turning his body to face you more in order to make things more comfortable. 

Satisfyingly, when you parted, he was the flustered one, too distracted to continue his previous statement. 

[rewritingcanon]

( hi is the person who sent you those next gen hcs. Sorry if this bothers you but I decided to make a part 2, hopefully better formated of more hcs or just expanding on the past ones. My interpretation of them!)

About the teddy lupin hc with his teeth- yes! He would most likely mess up his teeth worse then they already were so Andromeda had to get him braces despite his protests and begging. After being straped to the chair and wearing them for like 2 years his tooth gap was still there SO HE DID ALL THAT FOR NOTHING. (biggest L he's ever taken)

Lilly wears lots of colorful and wacky earrings just like aunt luna. They probably trade pairs or something.

James sirius is really into cinema especially horror. He loves being scared and most of the time he just laughs at the jumpscares. I also feel like he has written entire analysis in his head on the things he's fixated on but doesn't have the energy to write them down so he just rants about his favorite stuff to his family.

Victoire was the one making moves on teddy not the other way around. This made bills distaste for teddy even worse cause he wasn't even the one doing anything 🙄

Albus's room is filled with action figures, stuffed animals, posters ect of all the stuff he enjoys. Like people always talk about how much of a loser scorpius is but not so much albus. Trust me though he goes to bed reading fanfiction and was most definitely "the weird kid" at school. Probably grew up watching markiplier and jacksepticeye.

Teddy gives me those vibes where every time something happens teddy just goes "don't worry, I know a guy" and proceeds to fix the problem.

Victoire is really close to her maternal grandpa because everyone on the weasley family had lost stuff to the war including her parents so her grandfather was 1 of the only people in her family that didn't have any tragedy on her birthday so he was one of the few people who celebrated it without any sadness about the day. Then later teddy did as well.

Albus likes to draw and several pages of his sketch book is dedicated to just scorpius.

So when it comes to scorpius's appearance I kinda wrestled with it because on one hand there's no way he's not attractive because his mother is Astoria. Not even draco too just Astoria is enough to make that kid divine looking but if he was super pretty then there's no way he wouldn't be asked out even if it was just for shallow reasons. So in my head he is pretty but looks like a corpse. He has eye bags, beauty marks all over his body he's pale and skinny too so he doesn't look human. Albus of course thinks he looks like a sculpture but others think he looks uncanny.

Teddy loved being in the woods/forest cause he loved running around and getting all that energy out. Probably met a old man named Charles who taught him how to fish and scavenge or something. Nobody knew teddy was being fr when he talked about Charles because Charles was probably some urban legend. He was being real though.

(Anyway hope you don't mind me sending you these! if I wrote a fanfic I would include all this stuff but unfortunately I don't have the dedication or skill to do that)

aw ted babe noooo (little does he know a beautiful person without a tooth gap is like an angel without their wings so in truth he was saved).

i agree with all of these lmfao. i feel like luna makes lily earrings for her birthday every year like a tradition. i also heavily fw assertive victoire— i like to think teddy had always been the flirty, confident one in his other relationships and victoire had been shyer in her other relationships but the roles are just reversed when they actually get together. and james being a horror movie freak is soooo real to me, he laughs at all the western films and only genuinely gets kicks out of asian horror movies. victoire with her maternal grandpa is so cute man, its canon to me now. and i have ALWAYS said this about teddy but he is the definition of “i know a guy.” he could get you any job, get you out of any situation ever, “everybody’s got a cousin who can hook you up with something” type. and charles bro 💀💀 yeah you’re so right nobody believed teddy when he said he mastered muay thai until he whipped out martial moves, or when he learnt tagalog when rooming with this old lady in the phillipines until he started rapping a song in it 😭 the only person who would believe him immediately with no questions asked is andromeda. hes so freaky, now he could tell people he was the first one to set foot on mars and everyone will be obligated to believe him.

“not even draco too just astoria is enough to make that kid divine looking” this is the truest yeah 😭😭 ok ok you’re actually so right about this, scorpius would be attractive but unconventional-looking. i feel like his uncanny years is only in school though, no one saw the vision but albus and it paid off sooooo well in the end.

[foreos]

hatchetfield characters rated on how much they like sonic the hedgehog

- paul matthews: 7/10 i think just based on his age and personality he played like sonic adventure one as a kid and enjoyed it but hasn’t really thought about it since. if he were to play a sonic game again he’d be like “oh i remember this guy! silly :)” he does not like the chaotix.

- emma perkins: 5/10 i can see a young emma being Violently Opposed to sonic and never playing it or engaging with any content. and then at some point ziggs or even paul has her play one of the games with them and she’s like “Oh Wait This Is Fun” but idk if she’d ever consider herself a fan.

- bill woodward: 1/10 he cannot remember sonic’s name. he is completely ambivalent because he doesn’t know what that is. he’d have an appreciation for tails if he knew he existed

- charlotte sweetly: 0/10 he creeps her out. i think there’s so much going on in her life that there is no room for sonic the hedgehog.

- ted spankoffski: 10/10 he also played the games as a kid and still enjoys him though he does not advertise that at all. in college he and jenny did smoke and play the entirety of sonic 06 together. he probably hasn’t really played them since at all since it contrasts with the new everything. he watched sonic underground.

- henry hidgens 0/10 he doesn’t trust sonic.

- melissa: 11/10 she loves sonic and you can interpret that however you want

- john mcnamara: 0/10 i cannot imagine this man with a game controller in his hands.

- tom houston: -10000/10 he is a technophobe and sonic frustrates him. he finds the characters annoying and tim keeps having to beat the levels for him and he doesn’t know why sonic is looking at him like that at the end of every level.

- becky barnes: 8/10 she just thinks he’s the silliest guy. i think becky would like sonic and the black knight and get a kick out of the gimmicky motion controls. i like to picture becky having stupid fun it brings me joy.

- lex foster: 0/10 no time for that also that’s kind of dumb also also where are his clothes.

- ethan green: current 1/10, potential 10/10, ethan has never touched a sonic game in his life but i think if he did he’d be hooked.

- hannah foster: 5/10 she has never touched a sonic game and isn’t really a video game person but she has nothing against the guy.

- frank pricely: 9/10 i think frank watched SatAM as a kid and the franchise is special to him even if he doesn’t really engage. probably drew pictures of sonic and tails as a kid.

- linda monroe: 1/10 it’s beneath her. linda probably doesn’t like video game and i think she’d find everyone really fucking annoying. river likes sonic though :)

- sherman young: 1000/10 but he’s not fun about it. if you like something he doesn’t then you’re fucking stupid. why does sonic have a sword. why is sonic in a car. i don’t know sherman. he refuses to play a lot of the games and is very much a purist about a lot of shit. he hates silver the hedgehog sooooo much.

- zoey chambers: 0/10 would shame sonic likers.

- miss holloway: 5/10 sonic is too nineties for her eighties but some of the kids she’s worked with liked it and she has nothing against the guy.

- duke keane: 8/10 i think like becky he would enjoy stupid fun.

- ziggs: 10/10 i think ziggs is a sonic fan. and i’m not saying that just because they’re a furry i think they’d genuinely like it. they are not good at most of the games though, they usually can’t make it past the typical sonic late game difficulty boost. ziggs hasn’t read the comics but they might have watched some of the cartoons, you know?

- rose: 6/10 i think she would have a lot of fun if she played the games but it’s never gonna be something she gets super into. sonic games do tend to have fantastic soundtracks so maybe she’d eat that shit up.

- daniel (stopwatch): 100/10 he really likes sonic. sonic is his kind of guy. i think daniel is a big shadow fan.

- sophia (spitfire): 5/10 she has nothing against the guy but she doesn’t know who blaze is or why daniel keeps bringing it up.

- pete spankoffski: 12/10 he inherited ted’s old games and LOVED them. he doesn’t really engage with the non game media but i think he’s played like most of the games.

- stephanie lauter: 2/10 what’s this nerd shit? weird :/. i think she’d like it if she tried it.

- richie lipschitz: 10000/10 he loves sonic. he loveeeeeees sonic. he has read the comics he has seen the shows he can name all the characters. richie knows the lore. richie used to have a crush on sally acorn. richie can go on the worlds longest rant about sonic forces okay it just never ends. he thinks shadow is The Coolest Guy and he embraces the franchise wholeheartedly.

- ruth fleming: 1000/10 she likes sonic a lot. she knows so much about all the games and she loves going so so so fast. i think she also read the comics and watched the cartoons and i think her and richie argue about it like all the time. she does have a thing for rouge the bat AND shadow and i think she has a little plushie chao keychain on her backpack.

- grace chasity: -10000000000000/10 she HATES sonic she hates him so much. he fills her with so much rage she fucking hates his ass. number one sonic hater.

BONUS:

- wiggly: 0/10 this game is hard to play with tentacles

- blinky: 5/10 he doesn’t really care but watching the hedgehog go zoom is fun

- tinky: 10/10 he loves this shit he wants sonic to go FASTER

- nibbly: 0/10 he doesn’t care he eated his controller

- pokey: -10/10 he thinks sonic is an attention whore and only he gets to do that

- webby: 100000/10 webby would like sonic do you see the vision do you see it. i think webby eats that shit up.

[internetgiraffekid1673]

ThePandaRedd Appreciation Post: Bill and Ted

This is me screaming into the void that I think my two favorite characters in the comic scene are Ted and Bill from the Pandaverse (the comics universe created by ThePandaRedd's tiktok skits). I freaking love these two because they are hilarious and I gotta say it somewhere.

Consider this a ThePandaRedd appreciation post.

Bill is a very long running Pandaverse character and is a professional henchman in Gotham City. He has been henching long enough to see the formation of the goonion, have batman steal so many of his bones that they're kept ground up in a jar, see the rise and graduation of every robin, batgirl, or other, and become so tired that he can backtalk his most consistent employer---the Joker.

Bill is a jaded henchman, mostly in the job because it's the easiest way to get money in Gotham, and because he's kinda in too deep to quit now. He's one of the best advertisers the goonion has, strongly discourages other people from henching in Gotham, and has so many residual medical issues from getting brutally beaten up by the batfam that he just doesn't care anymore. While he is regularly employed by the Joker, he has also been seen working for the likes of Penguin, Black Mask, and Bane, presumably when the Joker is in Arkham. Most other characters treat him with some instinctive respect for having stayed in the Gotham henching game this long, and he could absolutely go toe to toe with Superman if not just easily secure some Kryptonite and whoop his ass. Fortunately for Superman, Bill sticks to the Gotham scene.

Ted, meanwhile, is a relatively new character, and he has recently moved to Gotham from Coast City (where the Green Lantern lives). Suffice it to say, he is not aware of all of Gotham's idiosyncrasies and is still learning the wheel. If Bill the henchman is to be believed, Ted dropped out of the high school they both attended and may or may not have moved to Gotham for ease of employment.

One of his first appearances was when he'd just joined the GCPD and was trying to covertly get some info on the villain scene by asking Bill about how to start a career in henching. While Bill did not discover that Ted was working for the GCPD, he also gave away pretty much no valuable information since he instead launched into a rant about why anybody would be so suicidal as to try to START henching in Gotham City. His most recent appearance has him presumably out of a job again and noting some of his findings about Gotham as a Coast City Transplant (batburger's overrated, gang territories are gerrymandered, Robins are scarier than Batman, you'll be gifted with a water filter a gas mask and a gun upon moving houses if you send advance notice, etc.)

So, why are these two gag characters from a comic book tik-tok creator my favorite comic book/comic adjacent characters? Because they do exactly what they are designed to and narrow in on the every day.

Comic Books are a sci-fi/fantasy genre that focus on impossible stuff happening, frequently at a pretty grand scale. And while it is super cool to read or hear about stuff like Batman and his adoption problem or Superman being a basically god while still being the most human ray of sunshine ever, that's not even close to my favorite stuff.

No, my favorite type of media to consume is the kind where we get a peek into the everyday of someone in a vastly different circumstance from ours, and feel just how normal they are. I find a lot of comfort and humor in recognizing that even in very unfamiliar circumstances, there will still be simple, everyday things that persist.

Bill might be a goon in a city with some of the most insane and terrifying vigilantes ever, working for some of the most insane and terrifying villains ever, and the city is explicitly a commentary on the general shittiness of urban environments like New York, but that's not what he cares about most of the time. Instead he's busy explaining why you shouldn't smoke to his fellow goons, or dealing with the fact that his employer won't keep a reliable schedule, or having a crisis that he regularly has to run away from a 12 year old dressed like a traffic light or else die trying, or trying to convince people to mask up during quarantine, or promoting that fellow goons "do bad shit safely." And I like to think that if I somehow ended up as an evil goon in someplace as nonsensical and dramatic as Gotham City, I might respond similar to Bill after a while. And that level of normalcy and sanity persisting in such a fantastical environment is both very funny and very comforting. Human nature will persist.

Ted is similar. Everybody who has experienced moving cities knows that it can be disorienting and confusing and even a little scary as you try to figure out how things work, but you'll figure it out regardless and probably have a fun(ish) time doing so. Ted shows that the same principle applies even when those differences get cranked up to 11 and include superpowered and/or impossibly determined and crazy people. He makes my own experience moving cities where I joke and complain about the differences feel validated and it's just so funny to see someone react so normally to such an abnormal situation.

Ted's experience is something that can actually he applied to my own life, like when I learned about Rural vs. Urban stupid zoning laws or trying fry sauce after moving to the mountain west and having to defend my stance that it is an abomination. So seeing someone like yourself doing the EXACT same thing in such an insane circumstance both strikes a chord of truth and makes me laugh myself to the floor.

I also really appreciate that the PandaVerse in general has connected lore for what is basically a gag series used to affectionately parody comics. Something about people actually caring about their jokes enough to make connected lore makes me so so happy.

So thank you ThePandaRedd for creating Ted and Bill, continuing along with them, and making me smile.

Seriously, all this was to say that ThePandaRedd is cool, you should go watch his stuff, and that Bill and Ted are hilarious.

[forensicated]

What are some of your favourite episodes of the bill?

Oooh crikey, so many! Thank you for the question! These are in no particular order. Also apologies for the formatting, I'm on my phone trying to reply and remember which numbered episode is which and have to go check some of them to ensure they're right as I've bounced everywhere around timelines the last couple of years doing the recaps and they blurred.

* All Change, the millennium new years eve when cid became uniform for the night.

* Respect 1 and 2, the end episodes. I don't like the way some of the character storylines were wound up but those two episodes were an amazing tribute.

* The Chief Super's Party, June and Roy flirting at the bar, Brownlow deeply unimpressed by the company that Roy kept. Roy getting one over on the super without Brownlow even realising which allowed him to support Ted. Ted's drunk driving crash ending up with him sleeping on a boat overnight and solving a robbery to save his job whilst hungover.

* The Target Trilogy, June and Steve get shot at. It's thought that it's Steve being targeted but they soon realise how wrong they are. Poor Jo 😕

* An Honour To Serve, Gina's last episodes. Smithy's kiss on the cheek and how much he respects her 💔❤️ "Goodnight Ma'am" (RIP Roberta ❤️)

* Lullaby with Smithy going from reading Tim a bedtime story in a cell with absolutely no feeling in his voice through to him singing 5 little speckled frogs to try keep him calm and not worry him when they were kidnapped.

* Integrity, Nicks first episodes. The contrast of him and Smithy paired together is awesome. Especially when they unite.

* Gunrunner, Smithy and guns...

* Witness and the episodes featuring Carly in the run up. Smithy really became the paternal figure that he didn't want to initially and cared about her, Leanne and Brooke. (& laughing at Nate when he runs the wrong way after sending him to chase after her whilst he stands and has a nice little chat.)

* Righteous Kill 1 and 2, Max protecting the wife and son of a man he shot in S019.

* Brittaniamania, Mickey undercover as a football hooligan and Debbie pretending to be his girlfriend with Dave and Paul his workmates though Paul being shit at plastering almost got them caught.

* Episode 154, the aftermath of Mickeys rape. The acting is incredible.

* Tinderbox, Brownlow, Conway and Meadows in an outward bounds team building course against Manion and his cocky cheating team.

* Conviction - particularly the riot training episode where Smithy and Callum end up having a physical fight to end their frustration over what happened with Devlin. The last episode of that is a bit frustrating though as I don't think Smithy could give his guilt over that quickly to accept a promotion when it was eating him alive. It made out he and Stevie had continued a thing from Gunrunner too that they hadn't. (the promotion thing bugged me so much I made a fic about it)

* First Impressions 1 and 2, purely for WUK (or "WUS!") and nick and uniform hiding in Diane's cupboard to watch Ben on cctv.

* Blurred Around The Edges, Smithy's army friend makes an appearance and turns his world upside down. (another I did a fic about!)

* Soft Talking, Smithy delivers a baby in the middle of a street and has to try and find the mother when she disappears and get her away from the abusive boyfriend and dad.

* When the snow lay roundabout, Danny the elf knowing what Matt secretly wished, Reg being the only copper out because of the snow (he'd only gone to get a Christmas tree) Rod trying to scam uniform, a cheeky kid outing him and helping polly and Gary trim the tree and the barbershop quartet!

* PC Smith, Needing to show himself in a good light, Smithy volunteers with Nick to look after a gay couple who are receiving homophobic threats. Everyone is surprised, not least Smithy himself.

*Episode 372, Cop The Lot "Simon Cowell eat your heart out!"

* Cowboy Country, Max ends up using his mother's priest to try track a Polish criminal down

*Game Plan, Max goes undercover with the Monks family.

* Tolerance, Smithy's C019 training and interview.

* Episode 69 and 70, cop idol and Cass being taken hostage and murdered by the serial killer 💔

* 117 and 118 Smithy's first 2 Sgt episodes including singing at the gay club.

* Good Cop Bad Cop , callum's first. Smithy leaps on him twice and Dan is NOT impressed when Callum acts all dodgy and tries to shut him out.

* 131 Smithy goes undercover in prison to try locate some expensive cars and Ken's son.

* 138 and 139 Smithy and Gina go out for a drink and end up in a drinking game. Smithy cheats! "You're a cab!" The next morning Gina had a little prang and all hell breaks loose.

* 162 the first live episode

* 205 206 Nicks last episodes before going into witness protection. I hate that they didn't make more of his and Sgt!smithy's past but at least they acknowledge it in this episode. It's just a shame that a lot of newer viewers would have been confused as hell at what was going on with their goodbye.

* 214 215 the start of Gina and Jonathan properly.

* Appropriate Force, Callum comes face to face with his ex and her criminal husband. Smithy has to literally pull him away from beating the husband into a pulp for attacking his wife.

* 237 Jim and June get married. For the cast dressed up, Smithy teasing Gina about settling down and shoving her forward to catch the bouquet and the beautiful Gina and Jonathan moments. Though sadly they do end up breaking up.

Killer On The Run, Ryan Jones blames Smithy for him killing his wife. (Smithy had let slip that Ryan was infatuated with a prostitute the episode before) and tries to take revenge, holding both Smithy and Pauline, Smithy's mother at gunpoint at various times

* 272 273 Gina taken hostage by Irene Radford and the story of their history and how alike they were falls out.

* 286 Dan's first appearance at the driving school with Amber and Leela. Amber's attempts to get in with the instructor once she finds out she's a lesbian is hilarious.

* 288 289 Andrea is found out and the station explodes in a fireball thanks to Colin Fairfax. Smithy and Ken's final scene is heartbreaking 💔

*298 Dan transfers and puts himself in danger rescuing a woman who is treated as a slave by those she works for as well as being raped by the father. Rosa is terrified but Dan tries to help, made harder by the fact she's deaf and doesn't speak English.

* 302 303 Mickey returns with MIT colleagues and arrests Neil. It's a heartbreaking look at what the rape had done to Mickey or "Michael" as he insists he is now and then something further breaks his heart....

* 327 Gina is found having collapsed at home by Smithy and Jonathan. Gina and Jonathan have a heart to heart and she almost tells him she wants to reunite... Right as he tells her he has a girlfriend. She forces herself to let him go for good 💔💔

* 349 second live episode and the end of Prosser.

* 360 and 361 Dan finally discovers who it is that has been blackmailing him about his affair and a lot is revealed about his history in these 2.

* 402 403 Smithy returns to work after the Larson debarkle to find Gina graffiting his welcome back posters and his first case involving his ex cellmate

* The Fat Lady Sings, Dave is approached by an opera singer who tells him she's being stalked. He ignores her and soon regrets it. Duncan arrives and arouses suspicions when the others realise he lives in a fancy penthouse apartment and has connections in the operatic world.

* Whose Side Are You On?, Dashers arranges a football match against a group of teens and lets Viv play in goal. (Vivs only experience being netball) so he doesn't have to let Bob Cryer play.

* Square Peg Round Hole, John Boulton is stuck with a needle during an arrest and worries he might have HIV but being John he won't stay at home.

*Wannabe, A young girl makes her attraction to Rod very obvious and he uses it to get her druggy parents.

* Team Play, Jack forces Duncan to take part in a compulsory training course with him. Duncan wants to skip it and work a sexual assault case with Liz. Poor Tom keeps being chucked off the case everyrime Duncan can slip out or take calls before he's dragged back in again to unwillingly participate in the exercise 😂

Badlands, the episode with Daves assault and those leading up to it (and after) with Boultons obsession with the Lovers and trying to nail Mick. The one where George loses it and goes for John when he goads him is perfect. Just a shame it leads the the Dave, Jenny, George, Polly mess.

* Trial Run, Rod calls in sick to Moonlight as a bodyguard. He thinks he's getting a female model but ends up with his hands full with two rich kids, one of which is a little shit.

* 427 Dan at the go kart center

* 481 It's Smithy's birthday, but noone will leave him alone.

* In The Know, Leon finds himself under suspicion when he's spotted being roughed up by a target of CID

* That's Love For You & Rescue Me, Leon struggles with a case where the parents of a baby he has bonded with are suspected of abusing her.

* The Truth Will Out, Smithy asks callum to apologise to a bloke who is accusing him of pushing him. He helps out unofficially when a young kid goes missing and panics when he thinks Smithy had gotten stuck during an underwater rescue. Their final scene is amazing.

* Hide and Seek, Leon finds a little girl hiding in a fireplace and they bond a she looks after her whilst they try to find her mother. They have tea parties and pretend to be invisible and all sorts ❤️ and then Tilly breaks his heart when she says "I thought you were my friend." he later risks his job doing something naughty that is seen by Rachel...

* Solace and The Calling. Dominic is incredible in these episodes, it's a real masterclass of how he can show every bit of what Leon is feeling with the slightest change of expression.

* Tombstone, Callum tries to deal with the death of his estranged father and the knowledge that he was a rapist.

Twanky, Sun Hill put on a panto and catch a criminal attempting to off an officer during it, hopefully without the audience realising.

Sorry, went a little overboard there! Interested to hear about yours (and everyone else's!), Anon!? Could have gone on all night naming eps.

[nanathott]

https://www.tumblr.com/nanathott/765054623872647168/nana-i-think-i-need-to-be-sedated-or-smth-ive-been

There is a kitty rule!! (As a kitten foster mama, I speak)

People should not impulsively get cats unless they know: They can take care of them their whole life. That includes knowing that you can pay for their food, bi-annual vet bills (fucking expensive), emergencies (disease or infection), and KNOWING that you aren’t gonna be moving to a place in the future where you won’t be able to take your fur baby with you. These rules bend a little when it comes to rescuing a cat who is in a dangerous or threatening situation, or will be euthanized without somebody saving them.

I’ve seen so many abandoned cats at the shelter because owners couldn’t take their pet with them when they moved :((( and I’ve seen people give up their pets when the vet bills got too expensive (some cats have chronic issues ie being prone to infections, utis, etc)

The cat can get super depressed when abandoned. And they got uprooted from their home, lifestyle, their attachment to their human gets cut. It’s awful really. I’ve seen cats not eat or even move from a single position for weeks, because they’re so depressed.

So yeah. Everyone: be responsible. Or else you’re just going to hurt an innocent creature. Ty for coming to my little ted talk of a totally unoriginal idea lmao.

YES!! do not buy a car impulsively, if u get that thought, sit on it for a while

but having money and a secure house is the two most important things, u never want kitty to suffer or lose their home

[all-things-john-constantine]

If you’re trying to avoid NMT3 spoilers I discuss what we know from the readings and synopsis and a couple things that have been said about the lore.

Thinking about NMT3 (Miss Holloween and Orbweaver)(THAT’S WITHOUT DISCUSSING TOM AND BECKY AND THEY’RE HAVING A BABY! I JUST KNOW ZOMBIE STANLEY IS GOING TO TRY TO RUIN THEIR HAPPINESS! TIM AND GRACE!!?!?! RICHIE AND RUTH!! DISASTER NERDS GETTING THEMSELVES IN MORE SHIT! BILL AND CHARLOTTE!! CHARLOTTE MIGHT FIND LOVE!!!) and the Miss Holloway Musical. Specifically I think about how Duke is totally dying in Miss Holloween. There is just no way they’re going to give us a happy ending (Kim and Curt please have mercy on me with your acting the reading was painful enough i know the actual thing will gut me). I also think about how we’re also getting Macnamara back. It brings up all the questions and thoughts for me.

1. What was John’s reaction when he saw Wilbur for the first time after the portal was opened? What about when he realized Wilbur’s mind was gone and it wasn’t coming back? Did he try to bring Wilbur back? What made him finally give up trying?

2. Who is John’s husband? It could be Xander, but I’m leaning towards it being someone else. I just feel like the “i know what I have to do” “no don’t go in there John!” moment would have been bigger if it was, but it was mid Wilbur monologue so maybe it would’ve been too clunky to do more. We don’t tend to get super huge reactions to deaths in Hatchetfield shows so maybe that’s just irrelevant.

3. How old is Miss Holloway? She’s depicted in the black book. Does that make her as old as it’s author Willabella? I’m leaning no. TURNS OUT MEG LLOYD TALKED ABOUT IT BEING FOR ORIGINAL WORKING BOYS SCRIPT!! IT’S BECKY!!! BADASS WARRIOR OF LIGHT!!! We could have a moment where it just works out and it’s applicable anyways, but I think we can put that on the back burner and just consider it a depiction of her making the deal. I think if she was enjoying herself as a rockstar in the 1980s she might have just been getting used to her immortality at the time which could make her birth year anywhere from 1900 to 1950. Something about that doesn’t seem right either though. I just can’t get a read on her as far as her age is concerned.

4. How did Douglas Keane Sr end up in Wilbur’s crosshairs? Were he and Miss Holloway friends? He was probably investigating something Wilbur did as sheriff and got in over his head. I feel like whatever it was leads to the initial Holloway vs Cross death match in the starlight theater.

5. What happened to Casey and the three girls Miss Holloway couldn’t save? Is Casey one of the three girls? What the hell happened beyond the obvious hatchet men ritual involving murder and burying people alive to grow as trees in the witchwood forest?

6. Why did Ethan recite the magical hat speech Miss Holloway gives to kids to Hannah in Black Friday? Where did he learn it? He totally had a touch of the gift and needed Miss Holloway’s help at some point in his life didn’t he? I also love the idea of all of the people being targeted by the Lords in Black like Paul and Ted having a touch of the gift even though there is no canonical support for that.

Alright I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m clueless and usually not great at predictions.

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

HOW WAS UR DATE TELL US EVERYTHING

OH MY GOODNESS TYSM FOR ASKING PYRO IT WAS WONDERFUL!! I had such a blast and he was a very sweet guy!

So he asked me out via work so I knew a bit about him before the date, so we spent a but of the car ride just talking about silly work stories or relatable feelings on some buggy coworkers, it was nice. He's also really into movies like yours truly and let me ramble a but about how I like the 80s genre of films! He loves Bill and Ted guys GUYS

We went to an arcade/mini golf place and I swear I felt 12 again he made me feel so comfortable to just be there and have fun- we both got super competitive with air hockey it was great 😂 AND YOUR GIRL WAS TOTALLY KILLING IT AT THE CLAW MACHINES I WAS STACKING UP TICKETS LIKE MAD 💪😤

Minu golf was so fun too! It was a bit cold cause it just finished raining but it was nice! He n I just like the golf sport in general and he was dropping hints about being down to go golfing one day for a Date 👀 we spent most of that just talking about hobbies, what colleges we plan on going to or what we're studying for, all that good stuff.

I tried to tell him it was OK but he was soooo persistent in getting enough tickets to buy me a stuffy at the end of the day 🥺 He got me the CUTEST LITTLE PANDA STUFFY I GOTTA SHOW YALL A PIC ONCE IM BACK FROM CHURCH

We had dinner after and it was delicious 😋 he himself is a twin so we just talked about funny relatable stories about it and our big families. He took me home and I'm gonna see if we can go on another date sometime soon! He's a really sweet guy, he's a little shy, and even told me I was his first date in a good while, and I was honestly scared my personality would have sent him running 💀 but he said he'd love to go out again!

[bow-of-aros]

Day Nine: Wake Up!

Summary: Ted is really tired and would honestly love to take a little power nap at his desk.

Apparently Bill wants him to talk about his feelings like an emotionally cognisant human being instead.

-

Hey guys! I might be running out of steam a little, but I'm determined to keep going strong at least for a couple more days. I might take a break over the weekend since it's thanksgiving and also mine and my brother's birthdays, so I'm gonna be a little busy. This fic got super off track from what I had planned but I hope that everyone enjoys this installment <33

-

Another boring fucking day at work.

Ted didn’t even know what he was doing here half the time. Most of the shit he did just felt like endless busy work. It was all organizing files and pinning email and printing documents.

Normally he was able to power through it with a few shitty coffees and a healthy dose of bothering his coworkers. It was a steady paycheck and that was something he definitely needed.

Doubly so now that he had Peter living with him.

Last night had been exhausting.

Look, he hadn’t exactly been thinking about the fact that he had work in the morning when his kid brother showed up on his doorstep, bag slung over his shoulder and tears streaming down his face, saying, “I told them. They uh— They kicked me out. Can I stay here for a bit?”

The next several hours had been spent clearing out the junk room for Peter to put all his stuff in and then sitting there while he explained what happened. Now, Ted isn’t the best when it comes to feelings, but he’s of the opinion that there’s nothing a cup of hot chocolate and a firm Spankoffski hug can’t make at least a little better.

It must have done something because, right before Peter had finally drifted off to sleep, he’d smiled at Ted and called him Teddy, something he hadn’t done since he was a little kid.

At that point it had already been past midnight, but then Ted made the genius decision to stay up a few extra hours googling variations of How to tell my trans brother he can live with me for as long as he needs without being gross or emotional about it.

Oh, and also Is it still illegal to kill your parents if they’re transphobic assholes? Asking for a friend. But he’d used incognito for that one, obviously. He wasn’t fucking stupid.

What all that meant was that now Ted was sitting at his desk, trying to focus on what he was pretty sure was the correct computer screen out of the three he was seeing.

Maybe nobody would notice if he closed his eyes for a little bit. It’s not like they paid any attention to him anyway—

“HEY!”

Ted’s elbows shot down to rub away the electric feeling of someone goosing his sides. That was his way of being affectionate while still being annoying and he did not appreciate it being used against him.

“Rise and shine, Ted!” He looked up behind himself to see Bill’s smiling face, looking much too proud of himself for what was a subpar joke at best.

God, he is not awake enough to deal with this right now. Maybe if he just closes his eyes and ignores his coworker, he’ll leave Ted alone.

“What— Oh come on, Ted. It’s a beautiful day! Let’s see that smile.”

Well, that didn’t sound good.

“Bihihihihill! Fuck ohohohoff!”

The attack of pokes to his torso has Ted sliding down in his chair. He’s not awake enough to stifle the giggles that start leaking out of him and, yeah, maybe it does make him feel a little bit lighter.

It doesn’t last too long before Bill lets up and Ted’s able to catch his breath, clawing himself back into his seat just to sag right back down into it.

“Hey man,” Bill leans against the wall of his cubicle, a concerned furrow in his brow, “You doing alright? You’ve been kind of out of it all day.”

Ugh, looks like they’re doing this.

“I’m just tired, okay? My parents kicked out my little brother and he showed up at my place last night. I was up way too late trying to figure out how to make sure he feels like he can stay or whatever.”

Silence rings out after Ted stops speaking, and he glances up to see a sort of awed look on Bill’s face.

“What?” He curls his arms around himself, hunching his shoulders self-consciously, “What did I say?”

“Nothing! I just didn’t know that you had that protective big brother instinct in you. It’s really sweet,” Bill looks contemplative for a moment, “I also didn’t know that you had a little brother. I thought that you had a sister?”

Ted just stares at him, willing Bill to connect the dots on his own.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Ohhhhh.”

“Yeah, dude. I don’t want to fuck this up,” He’s still tired and he drags a hand down his face, trying to wake himself up, “Pete’s just a kid! And I’ve never really had to take care of him before. Or myself, really. I don’t know what I’m doing!”

Bill’s silent for a moment before straightening up and placing a hand on Ted’s shoulder, “Look. I don’t really know what your situation with your brother is. But I know that you’ve been walking around like a zombie all day because you threw yourself into figuring out how to make him feel at home, and I think that that’s a pretty good indicator that you’re heading in the right direction.”

Damn. When did Bill get all wise and shit?

“Yeah. Thanks, man. That uh— That means a lot.”

In response to Ted’s emotionally constipated attempt at expressing gratitude, Bill just offers a lopsided grin before heading back to his cubicle.

“Actually, you know what? There’s only an hour left of the day, Ted, why don’t you head home and see your brother? I’ll cover anything that comes in for you.”

Oh God, what is he feeling? What’s this warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest?

Does he actually like Bill? Like an actual fucking friend?!

“Really?”

“Yeah! I’ll see you tomorrow,” His smile fades into something a little softer, “And get some actual sleep tonight, Ted. You’re not good to anyone with half your already suffering brain function.”

Ted’s basically already halfway out the door, but he pauses for a moment to flip Bill off and toss a muttered Thanks over his shoulder.

He walks to the car, taking in a deep breath before sliding in and turning the ignition, listening to his shitty car rev to life.

Yeah, Ted thinks as he starts the drive back home, Maybe I do got this.

[thomashewittmybeloved]

I came across your recent TedxReader fic where Reader was helping Bill and Ted study history and it was super cute!

I was wondering if you could do one where y/n was doing homework on their computer, but they forgot to click save after staying up late, so they lost their progress and is flustered so Ted tries to help cheer them up (this actually recently happened to me, so I'm having to redo a lot of an assignment 😅)

hellooo!! Thank you so much that's so kind of you🫶

First of all, I'm sooo sorry this happened to you, it's so frustrating 😭 also sorry for taking so long to respond !

It's kind of short but I hope you'll still enjoy what I wrote :)

.°•

A student's worst nightmare

Pairing : Ted Logan X G/N reader

Warnings : None ! Just cute fluffy stuff :)

A/N : this can be read as just platonic as well as romantic !! You didn't specify which one you wanted so I made it kinda ambiguous<3

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾

I sat at my desk, frustration etched on my face, as I stared at the blank screen of my computer. The glow from the monitor seemed to mock me, a constant reminder of my careless mistake. I had been up all night working on my homework, pouring my heart and soul into it, only to forget the most crucial step—clicking the save button.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I ran a hand through my hair, feeling utterly defeated. My mind replayed the countless hours I had spent meticulously crafting this assignment, all now lost in the abyss of digital oblivion. The weight of my mistake pressed upon me, making me feel as though I had let myself down. Just as I was about to succumb to the pure despair that threatened to consume me, I heard a familiar voice from behind; Ted's voice. He spoke as he put his hands on my shoulders and his head on top of mine.

"Hey !" Ted's voice was filled with curiosity, a gentle concern laced within his words the moment he leaned to see my face. "What's up dude ?"

"Hey, Ted," I replied, my voice tinged with defeat as I smiled weakly. "I... I lost all my homework. I forgot to save it."

His eyes widened slightly, mirroring my dismay. Without a moment's hesitation, he kneeled next to me and leaned on the edge of my desk. "Whoa, that's rough, dude. But hey, don't sweat it ! You can, like, re-write it!"

I appreciated his optimism, even though it seemed impossible to salvage my lost work. But there was something about Ted's unwavering faith in me that gave me a glimmer of hope. Seeing him smile so brightly at me while he's eyes searched mine made me believe that yes, I could easily just re-write everything. He leaned in closer to me, his voice filled with genuine care. I lowered my head to meet his gaze, seeing him smile once I did.

"Remember dude, you've got this big smart mind ! You can do anything you want, and even more, just have to do it !"

His words resonated with me, piercing through the haze of disappointment. He had always been the one to remind me to find joy in the process, to not get too caught up in my grades. He had a way of making even the most mundane tasks an adventure, making everything fun and joyful no matter what.

Suddenly, an idea sparked within me, fueled by Ted's infectious enthusiasm. "You're right, Ted. Maybe this is an opportunity to start fresh, to approach my work from a different angle. I can rewrite it, make it even better!"

A broad grin spread across Ted's face, his eyes glowing with excitement. "That's the spirit, Y/N! I knew you'd find your way out of this funk." He laid his head on my hand who was laying on the desk." We'll make it the most excellent homework the world has ever seen!"

He lifted his head and his fist. I giggled, fist pumping him before he pulled a chair to sit next to me, bringing it as close as possible, our knees grazing each other. "So, what's the subject of your assignment?"

"History...The Crusade's, more specifically." I sighed, seeing Ted's face fall for a split second before his cheerful smile appeared again.

"Oh ! Talk about the Lion dude!" He exclaimed, putting his arm on the back my chair, his skin hot against my back.

"The...You mean, Richard Lionheart ?" I chuckled, trying to control my growing blush. "You, you meant him, right ?"

"See, you have a smart brain !" He laughed, leaning against me. "You're a smarty."

I looked away, unable to hide my smile and heavy blush. Did he really have to whisper that last thing right in my ear?! I cleared my throat.

"I didn't even think about speaking about him, I just...explained what the Crusade's where globally but using him could be perfect !" I started taping on the keyboard, already feeling the inspiration coming back. "Thank God you're here Ted !"

He laughed before letting me write in silence, glancing at me sometimes, smiling to himself. I'm so focused, feeling the motivation coming back to me again, that I jumped in surprise a little when his head suddenly landed in the crook of my shoulder. "Ted..."

He cut me off, his voice shook a little bit; "I just, I just want to rest because, you know, life dude."

With newfound determination, and Ted's head laying on my shoulder, I began to rewrite my lost assignment.

[agentnico]

Ted - Season 1 (2024) review

Look, it’s a live-action Family Guy. Let’s not even sugarcoat that fact.

Plot: It's 1993, and Ted the bear's moment of fame has passed. He's living back home with his best friend, John Bennett, and his family. While Ted may be a lousy influence on John, he's a loyal pal who will go out on a limb for friendship.

The Ted movies are enjoyable if a tad forgettable pieces of comedic crudeness. Also they haven’t aged the best, so I was quite apprehensive when I heard that they were making a prequel streaming series based on the property. Originally I was not even planning on watching it, however upon its release on the streaming service Peacock, which by the way has anyone even heard of Peacock?? I swear there are so many streaming services around now that it’s hard to keep up with them all. That Weird Al movie that came out a year ago was on something called Roku. Still have no clue what the fudge is Roku! Can’t we just get these streaming companies to bundle up into one and give us all the content on one singular platform? Now is that too much to ask!? Apparently so. Regardless, with that rant aside, let’s talk about the Ted show.

Indeed it’s a surprise that the Ted series is actually kind of good! It’s a throwback to the 90s American sitcoms, with the show focusing on not only the bear but also on his family living in the suburbs. And each family members gets up to their amusing antics every episode, and though none of it breaks any new comedic ground, I must say this was a very enjoyable and easy watch. For one, this show is actually funny. From the ridiculous scenarios that occur, with Ted and John smoking weed for the first time, to their dad wishing upon a star and bringing his toy truck to life who becomes a Republican racist, to John going to buy a condom at a supermarket where an overly nice shop assistant helps him to pick what kind only to turn out to be a creep who runs away as soon as another shop assistant appears. Look, it’s all ridiculous and stupid, but for the most part a lot of the jokes land.

Also, it’s so easy for the teddy bear to steal the show, and of course Seth Macfarlane is on top form riffing and throwing insulting one-liners left and right, and there’s also so much physical and slapstick comedy that comes from the bear’s movements, from how he runs to the way he stares at people with emotionless eyes. The teddy is great, and also even though he’s crude, he never became tiresome or annoying, whereas in the movies he did get a tad repetitive. However the human characters also get enough development and focus that you warm up to the entire family. The kid that plays John was actually spot on with his Mark Wahlberg impression, nailing the accent, but also as a whole he did a great job having to act mostly next to CGI character. His chemistry with the bear was very good, and you felt their friendly camaraderie. As for the parents, the mum was hilarious as the innocently nice housekeeper who was super naive about everything, and the dad at first came off annoying and selfish, but as the show progressed you warmed up to him too due to the solid writing. Then Giorgia Whigham rounds up the cast as the rebellious cousin who disagrees with the old-school beliefs of the family, but also ends up being a key support to each character.

In terms of the negatives, for a show that’s billed as a sitcom, the episodes were way too long. The premiere alone was 50 mins, and then rest ranged around the 40 minute mark, and so pacing did drag at times. Especially when certain jokes were stretched out longer than they should be, they really should have been kept to around 20 mins. Aside of the pacing issues, this was a solid comedy show.

Ted by no means reinvents the comedic genre, however it’s truly an amusing show that will have you smiling throughout, and turns out to be way better than it had any right to be. Also the special effects on the bear are also really impressive. He really does look like a real talking bear, and the movements were all fluid and well done. So yep, Ted is a win. Here’s hoping for a second season!

Overall score: 7/10

[lunar-years]

I don't necessarily want to be too hard on Sudeikis because like, I've never written a tv show, but at the same time I will be because I don't think he had the skill level to lead the 3rd season on his own the way he did, and it shows. I Know the show is called Ted Lasso but it honestly felt like he was too wrapped up in providing himself with moments to shine that he forgot about wrapping up huge plot points for other characters and for some reason decided their time was better spent wasted on weird side plots. If I was a suspicious person, I'd honestly say that it felt like he was sabotaging other actors by either turning them into one dimensional cut outs of themselves with no depth (Roy), dropping huge issues for the character and then completely washing over them, and also forcing a highly emotional moment by a great actor to be a farce (Jamie), or neglecting any actual potential character development and sacrificing a well developed character for a cheap shot at "yas girl boss" (Keeley)

hmm i know a lot of people blame the bad pacing and super long episodes on Bill Lawrence's departure and Jason's lack of show-running knowledge. I'm not saying he didn't make the problem worse in s3, but to be fair I think that was already well underway as a problem in s2 (when i think Lawrence was still involved?), so I don't really blame him alone. The pacing was only tight and great in the first season and then it went downhill from there.

As for the character stuff...I disagree that Sudeikis was only concerned with writing himself moments to shine (and if it’s true he did a terrible job of it lmao), because imo Ted's character is just as much of a sloppily-written mess in s3 as the rest of them (and also I think Ted's plot was less central in s3 than it was in s2 especially). Apart from the scene with Ted and his mom at the end of Mom City and maybe his season finale locker room speech, I can't really think of any scenes that are standout in terms of really emphasizing Jason's acting range/serving as award-fodder.

I also strongly disagree that he was intentionally sabotaging his fellow actors by giving them bad plots LOL. Actually I think it was quite the opposite, in that he was extremely focused on giving each of the others a “highlight reel" episode to present to the Emmys committee. Like, you can look at the season and immediately pick out which episode was written for each emmy submission (Paris is Juno's episode, Chelsea is Brett's episode [still shocked he didn't submit it tbh], International Break is Hannah's episode, etc.) Like, Mom City was clearly written with Phil winning his emmy at the forefront of the writer's room minds, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. heck, that's my favorite episode of the season! (side note that I agree with you that Jason is to blame for THAT jamie boot room scene though because like wow was that bad directing, and the bts video shows he was the one telling Phil to play it like that lmao). But i do think the segmented structure of the episodes probably did contribute to the pacing problems and the lack of cohesiveness in the season as a whole.

(I also don’t think Roy was one-dimensional in s3 🫢. Apart from a few things that didn't quite land for me, I really liked where they took Roy's arc this season on the whole. IMO they gave him more depth by really diving into his insecurities, showing him as a leader with Isaac, learning to be a friend to Jamie, coming into his own as a coach and a person, going to therapy and becoming manager. And his ending was ultimately satisfying for me).

ANYWAY, in my opinion Jason's biggest crime was being so rigidly committed to the three season vision of the show he dreamt up in the beginning, even when the show and plots had gotten too big for that original vision to contain. Season 3 could have been separated into two seasons easily and it would have given them the time they desperately needed to address many of the characters and relationships in a much better and holistic way, as well as dedicate more time to thoughtful endings for all of the main plots. Instead they tried to do way too much with way too little space. And also gave a weird amount of screen time to pointless characters (cough Zava cough Shandy...)

[pastriibunz]

Selcouth - Paul’s Perspective

Paring: Paul Matthews + Kai Drew (platonic)

Warnings: major spoilers for TKWDLM

Summary: (adj.) unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous. | Paul’s perspective of Kai and the events of the apocalypse.

I never really wanted anything in life.

I was happy where I was at.

I worked a decent job, with decent pay, decent hours, decent coworkers, and it was near a decent coffee shop.

I lived in a decent apartment in a decent town.

That was my life.

Decent.

Not too good, not too bad, just right in the middle. Average. Tolerable. Good enough. Decent.

I liked it that way.

I never thought I wanted anything more.

When asked what I wanted, I always replied the same way:

“Money, a partner, and maybe some kids someday? I dunno.”

I don’t think I actually wanted that. 

It was just what everyone was expected to want.

The average person’s American dream.

It seemed decent.

So I went with it.

I knew what it was like to not want something.

I didn’t want to join the company softball team.

I didn’t want to go see Mamma Mia with Bill and his kid.

I didn’t ever want to see a musical.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something in my life.

Maybe I wanted there to be something with Emma, but, I never had the conviction that was behind a ‘want.’

Yeah.

I was content with where I was in life.

I never really wanted anything.

That was until I met her.

During the end of the world.

Kai Drew.

The kid almost drank some poisoned coffee.

And, like, Emma and I couldn’t leave her to die, right?

That would just be a jerk move.

So we stopped her and took her with us.

And honestly?

That was the best decision I ever made.

At first, I thought she was weird.

She had the brightest teal hair you’d ever see, she dressed like the human incarnate of a pack of neon highlighters, she was way too happy for what was going on, honestly, looking back, I don’t think she actually knew what was happening, she was super into singing, and dancing, and musicals, and she seemed like everything I’d hate.

But I didn’t hate her.

Especially after I sat down with her after she got into a screaming match with Ted.

I got to see her.

She was just a sad, hurting, scared kid, trying to make the best of everything that was happening and had happened to her.

And then the strangest thing happened.

For the first time in my life, I felt it.

I wanted something.

I wanted this kid to be okay. 

I wanted to help her with whatever she was going through.

I wanted her to be happy.

At first, it was confusing.

I didn’t understand the feeling.

But once I figured it out, found myself actually wanting something, it scared me. 

So I brushed it off and denied the feeling.

I thought I was crazy.

I had barely met this kid an hour ago, I told myself, I couldn’t be feeling anything that strong for her.

But the thought kept creeping up in my mind.

Especially after she told me more about her life.

That feeling of want kept coming back.

I didn’t know what to do.

So I kept ignoring it.

That was until she had cried.

Ted had freaked her out and made her think her family and friends back in her hometown had died.

So, rightfully, she started panicking and ran out of the room.

I followed her after giving her a moment to herself.

She was crying quietly to herself, curled into a ball.

My heart hurt at the sight.

That was new.

So I sat next to her.

I let her ramble to me.

She told me about her worries.

I helped her, with the cheesiest line possible.

She laughed.

That made me feel warm inside.

Then she hugged me.

At first, it was scary.

It was terrifying.

It was new.

But it was amazing, too.

So I hugged her back.

She was so small.

She fit perfectly into my arms.

And then I couldn’t deny it anymore.

I wanted Kai to be okay.

The feeling was scary.

But it wouldn’t keep me away.

As terrifying as it was, it was also wonderful.

She was my problem now.

And I was hers.

I loved her like my own flesh and blood.

I wanted to hold her in my arms, cradle her close to me, run my fingers through her hair, and whisper to her that “everything was gonna be okay.”

“I’m here now.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I promise.”

And then I’d follow through.

She was mine, and I was hers.

I would lay down my life for her.

I love her more than anything in this universe.

I would make sure everything would be okay for her.

Because she deserved it.

I now know what it’s like to want something.

And I never want it to go away.

…

But nothing lasts forever.

I should’ve made her stay with Emma.

I should’ve done more to protect her.

I should’ve done more to help her.

I should’ve known.

She said she wanted to be a hero.

She said she needed to be a hero

I didn’t think it would go this far.

I didn’t think…

…

I need to get in there.

I need to save her.

That’s my kid.

That’s my daughter.

I want her to be okay.

I need her to be okay.

Please, God, let her be okay.

…

…She did it.

She destroyed the meteor.

She ended this thing.

But I don’t care.

The world could burn, for all I care.

I just want Kai to be okay.

That’s all I want.

…

Is that...?

It’s her!

She’s okay!

She’s safe!

Thank you, God!

She’s okay, she’s okay, she’s okay-

…

Oh.

Oh god.

Oh god no.

No, no, no, no.

No.

This isn’t happening.

That’s not her.

That’s not the kid I know.

That’s not the kid I love.

It took her.

It took her body.

It’s making a mockery out of the girl I loved.

It’s making a mockery out of my daughter.

I want it to stop.

We have to go.

…

God, I don’t want to leave her.

She’s still in there, right?

Maybe I can save her.

Maybe there’s hope.

She deserves more.

I won’t let her die like this.

That’s my job as a father.

…

Wait.

WAIT.

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.

KAI, YOU CANT-

…

…No.

No.

No!

NO!

This isn’t happening!

She’s- she’s fine!

She’ll wake up!

Right?

Please, Kai, wake up…

…

Not like that, dammit.

Not like that.

It took her.

I want her back.

Give her back.

…

It’s not gonna, is it?

Please…

…I just want my daughter back.

…

Oh, god.

It took her.

She’s dead.

Oh, god.

We lost.