#big strong feller

[skaiind]

its ok guys hes got this

[todayisafridaynight]

you guys need to stop including mine in these options we always know the outcome

...anyways is mine more cat or dog to you because in my professional opinion he's cat but not a regular ol cat he's one of those really big house cats like the the maine coons yeah he's a maine coon thats really aggressive to people other than his accepted circle but some could argue he's also a dog in which i say he would be a tiny aggressive dog not sure which breed oh my god i started rambling ok cat or dog aligned

in my heart he's pretty cat adjacent yeah however him bein a breed like a doberman's p fittin too :)

[ttuesday]

Hi !! I just spent my night reading all your headcanons and I just adore them!! May I get headcanons of the fellers reacting to the reader drunkenly confessing their love? Thanks so much !!! 💌💕✨️

ooooo thank u for the juicy request anon!!! <3 also, apologies if these are kinda long, I got carried away lmao

Arthur

You really didn’t think the alcohol was taking effect. Nearly three bottles of beer deep and you were positive you were still sober. It was only when you stood up to go get beer number 4 did you realise you were actually pretty drunk, the world spinning as you stumbled from your seat. Thankfully, someone caught you before you actually fell, Arthur’s strong arms wrapping around your waist to steady you.

You’re not sure what came over you but having him there to protect you and hearing his soothing voice tell you to take your time and that you’ve probably had too many already, you can’t help but feel loved and cared for. In fact, you’ve felt this warmth whenever you’re near Arthur for some time now so why not let him know? Looking up at him with a big goofy smile, you stay in his embrace and happily say “You know what, I love you, Arthur Morgan”.

It’s not that Arthur doesn’t believe you but you’ve certainly caught him off guard and he doesn’t know how to respond. He’s confused, wondering why you’d say that now, if you mean love in the romantic sense or if this is some kinda joke you’re trying to make. “Yeaaaah, you’ve definitely had too much to drink” he drawls, your words still sinking in. No matter how many times you profess your love to him, he doesn’t directly acknowledge what you’re saying and tries to deflect it back to you being drunk.

But don’t think Arthur’s not listening to you. Your confession is something that’ll stay with him for a very long time, something he thinks about late at night or just before a robbery, wondering if you actually meant it. For Arthur to know you were being 100% serious, you’ll have to tell him again but sober. Until then, Arthur will be left thinking about what a life with you would be like, wondering if it’s nothing but wishful thinking.

Charles

Charles normally keeps an eye on you whenever you drink. It’s not something he does on purpose nor is it something he does to undermine you; Charles just likes to make sure you’re alright and not overdoing it. He’s not going to try and stop you from drinking too much, knowing that’s not his choice to make but when you’re visibly drunk, he likes to stay by your side as if he’s your protector (both from your own drunken antics and anyone else).

It’s very obvious to you that Charles is staying next to you so he can look after you if necessary and c’mon now, how endearing is that? Your eyes soften as you gaze at him, studying the curves of his face and the questioning look he gives you, curious as to why you’re staring at him. “You’re one of the best men I’ve ever met,” you confess before quietly adding “I love you Charles, I really really love you”. 

Charles is well aware you’re drunk but he knows that there must be at least an ounce of truth to your words. He smiles at you, taking your hand in his as he says “I… I really care about you too”. He wants to confess his love to you too, to tell you how much he’s been yearning to hear you say that but he hesitates, unsure if this is the right moment. He prefers to wait until you’re sober before reciprocating your love, wanting you to remember the moment fully and not under a drunken haze.

For the rest of the night, Charles fully takes up the mantle of being your guardian, leaving you to hold his arm while you walk and making sure you get to sleep ok. But even when you’re asleep, Charles has a lot to think about, questions whirling around in his head. Should he tell you tomorrow that he loves you too? Will you even remember what you said? Should he take you away from camp to tell you, maybe set up a romantic picnic beforehand?

Dutch

You and Dutch have a complex relationship. Sure, you both like to flirt with one another but it doesn’t take much for an argument to start; you pointing out a possible flaw in his plan and Dutch trying to speak over you, professing that the real issue here is you and your lack of faith. Some of the others have commented that maybe y’all should just get a room to deal with any “frustrations” you both have while others are convinced you already have.

Although you and Dutch aren’t afraid of challenging one another, you both care for each other too, especially when one of you is drunk. Dutch knows you’re a hard worker and honestly, he thinks you deserve a drink. Hell, he might even offer you some of the whiskey he has stashed away. Of course he flirts with you too but he doesn’t over-do it, not wanting to come across like a complete and utter creep.

When it’s late at night and you’re truly hammered, Dutch sighs and decides it’s about time to cut you off and escort you to bed. He basically tucks you into bed, making sure you’re comfortable, fluffing your pillow and reminding you to sleep on your side. Just before he leaves your tent, you say it, the words spilling out of your mouth and even surprising you.

Dutch’s eyes go wide as you blurt out “I love you”. He wants to feel smug but he can’t hide the look of endearment on his face. “Well, you couldn’t have picked a more romantic predicament to make such a statement” he says sarcastically, a soft smile playing on his lips. Before he goes, Dutch turns to you one last time, his voice tender as he says “but for the record, I love you too, dear”.

Micah

If you’re drinking, then there’s a good chance Micah will be sitting next to you, downing some beers too. If you get to unwind for a while and have a few drinks then he’s convinced he should too (and it’s definitely not because he actually enjoys your company but won’t admit it). Micah likes chaos so there’s a good chance he’ll encourage you to drink more, knowing you’ll get more outspoken and probably have a bad hangover he can tease you about the next day.  

Although this isn’t your first time drinking with Micah, it always surprises you how easy it is to get along with him when he’s drunk. That bully façade laced with toxic masculinity gets pushed to the side when he’s drunk and instead he’s actually pretty relaxed and full of laughter. It’s something you’re not sure you’ll ever get used to but that’s just Micah, isn’t it? Completely unpredictable yet somehow, he’s a loveable rogue.

You don’t know how it happened or why you decided to just blurt it out. It was as if you had no control over your mouth, only realising after the fact that you blurted out that you love him. Micah stops mid-drink, completely stilling at your abrupt confession.

No matter how drunk he is, Micah will always find some way to be arrogant and so he smugly finishes his drink before scoffing “Tell me something I don’t know”. He’ll brush it off in the moment but don’t expect him to forget this anytime soon. Micah will find a way to mention your love for him on a daily basis, continuously bringing it up to annoy you. But honestly, deep down, Micah doesn’t know how to even comprehend this. No one’s ever loved him before so while he figures out his own feelings, his plan is to simply annoy you with your confession.

John

You weren’t the only one drinking, in fact there were more people drunk at camp than people sober, everyone deciding to celebrate another night of freedom. You spent the majority of your night next to John, the two of you sipping away at your beers and listening to the others sing.

Unfortunately John reaches that point of self pity drunkenness pretty early on in the night but you’re quick to reassure him. He’s feeling pretty down, going on about how much of a disappointment he is and how he hasn’t been doing well on any recent robbery, somehow messing up his part of the job.

Thankfully, John has a friend like you, someone who’ll listen to him vent but also remind him of just how great he is, listing out all of his best qualities and explaining how he’s an amazing person to be around. After listing out all of these traits, it hits you a ton of bricks… holy shit, you’re in love with him.

It feels strangely relaxing to finally realise what your feelings are and you conclude your list by saying “and those are all the reasons I love you”. “You huh? Love? Did you say love?” He’s convinced he heard you wrong, that there's no way someone as beautiful as you could actually fall for him. You nod your head, baffling John even further. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve such luck but for the rest of the night, John’s in a great mood and can’t wipe the smile off of his face.

Javier

You don’t know how it happened, how the words somehow slipped out of your mouth. Hell, you weren’t even that drunk, maybe a little tipsy but that’s it. You were spending the day relaxing around camp, having finished your chores early and deciding you deserve a break. While you happily drink the afternoon away at one of the tables, Javier sits by the charred remains of the campfire, strumming away at his guitar.

Every few minutes, you hear him curse under his breath and restart his melody. You were in a happy mood but not oblivious to Javier’s growing frustration with his guitar. That made it worse for him, his annoyance making him mess it up more frequently. Calling out to him, you try to deescalate the situation and say “Javier, you know I love you and your music but maybe you should take a break for a while?”.

You say it so casually, as if you’ve told him you love him a hundred times before this. But even in his frustrated state, Javier picks up on your confession instantly… but he’s not the only one. Yeah, you did kinda call out to him across camp… in front of whoever happened to be walking around at the time. It’s safe to say at least half of camp heard your confession and the other half will surely know within the next few hours.

It doesn’t take you long to realise just how many people heard you say that, anyone in earshot abruptly stopping and turning to you, each and every one of them shocked.  But the silence doesn’t last long, as Javier quickly stands up and as casually as you replies “Of course, you’re right, mi amor”. Is he saying it because he’s trying to save you from any embarrassment or is it because he feels the same way? You’re hoping for the latter but thankful either way.

Bill

You know when everything just feels right? Like when there’s nothing that could lessen your mood and it’s like all the stars aligned for a moment? Well, that’s exactly how it feels when you tell Bill you love him. After a successful robbery that the gang was praying would go right and a wagon load of moonshine at your disposal, everyone’s in a good mood.

The camp is full of song and dance, the likes of Uncle, Javier and Karen belting out a tune while some of the others slow dance. You can’t remember the last time you’ve danced but now seems like a good time to get back into it. And so you grab one of your best confidant’s hands and pull him to where everyone else is dancing. Bill’s confused but when you guide one of his hands to your waist while his other hand clasps around yours, he’s not going to complain.

He warns you that he’s not a great dancer and you reply with a laugh, saying neither are you. Usually this is something Bill would never dream of doing, knowing he’ll fuck it up somehow or that the others will tease him for the next few months over this but with you by his side, Bill doesn’t care what anyone else says. The moment feels perfect and although you’re in the middle of a party, it feels intimate, as if it’s just you and him.

Gazing up at him, you know exactly what you’re going to say. It feels like the perfect time to say it, even if you’re not sure how he’ll react. Your voice is quiet but you know he hears you as you confess your love for him. Bill’s taken aback but he doesn’t loosen his grip on you, keeping your body close to his. This feels too good to be true but seeing the adoration in your eyes, he knows you mean it. A smile playing on his lips, Bill replies “You uh… you know I feel the same way too, right?”.

Sean

Good luck. Seriously, good luck trying to say I love you before Sean does. There’s a reason why everyone thinks you two should be together and why people are usually surprised to hear you’re not a couple. You’re two peas in a pod, both of you full of life and always ready for an adventure. And it’s the same whenever you both drink, it’s like you get the need to express every emotion you have and to tell everyone exactly how you feel about them (for better or for worse).

So when you both drink, the two of you are eager to finally spill your feelings for the other. If you want to be the one to say it first, you’re going to have to blurt it out the second you see Sean, not letting him get a word in. Sean’s eyes go wide when you say it and his mouth drops open, utter shock taking him over. He waits just long enough for some doubt to start creeping in before he whines “No fair, I was going to tell you that!”.

Sean is very upfront with his feelings and he takes pride repeating those three words back to you. If anything, the only regret he has is waiting so long to finally say it to one another. But now that it’s out in the open, he has no problem being very affectionate with you just so everyone knows you’re smitten with him.

Within seconds of your mutual confession, Sean’s game for smothering you with kisses, even taking this to a random (John’s) tent if you want to *wink wink*. Now that you both know where you stand, Sean wants to put all his energy in building a great relationship with you now.

Hosea

Hosea has known for a long time that he loves you but he can’t never find the courage to actually tell you. Hell, he has no problem facing shootouts, pulling off near impossible cons or boldly tricking any lawmen… but telling you how he feels? Nope, that’s one mission he doesn’t think he can pull off.

So although Hosea’s had feelings for you for quite some time now, he doesn’t plan on acting on them anytime soon… no matter just how obvious it is to everybody else that he likes you. I mean, it is S U P E R obvious; Hosea’s always picking you to go on cons with him, bringing you coffee in the morning and he’s there for you when you get a little tipsy too.

With Hosea by your side and the gnawing feeling in your gut that you may have drank a little too much, it doesn’t take long for you to realise just how much you care about him. He ushers you to lean into him, his coat draped over your shoulders as you slowly drift off to a drunken sleep. After rambling for a while and swearing to yourself that you’re never touching alcohol again, you decide to end the night on a high and confess your love to him.

Hosea is a cool, calm and collected king. He knows you’re drunk and that the last thing you need is him shaking you awake to ask if you really meant it or if you only love him in a platonic way. On the inside, he’s freaking out and debating whether this is all a dream or if he misheard you. Once you’ve fallen asleep and Hosea knows you’re safe and comfortable, he’s going straight to Dutch for some advice and by morning, he’ll give you a coffee and ask what exactly you meant when you said you love him.

Trelawny

You weren’t drunk at a camp party or some other camp event when you first told Trelawny you loved him. Instead, you had both decided some drinks were in order after another successful job you two pulled off. At this point you’ve lost count of how many cons you’ve done with Josiah, the both of you making a great team that no one could deny.

After a few rounds and relaxing into some mundane conversation, your mind starts to drift. It’s true that you’re both a power couple when it comes to doing quick cons and robberies but you wondered what else you’d be great at together. There’s been a number of instances where you’ve heard the others teasing Josiah, referring to your cons together as ‘dates’ or poking fun at his enthusiasm to always be paired up with you on large heists.

Trying to be as subtle as possible, you casually mention how great of a team you both make just to see his reaction. One of his eyebrows quirks up, Josiah asks you to elaborate and that’s all it takes for you to ramble on. “I’m just saying, we always work so well together and you know I love you anyways so I was just wondering of all the other ways we could work as a team”.

He nearly chokes on his drink. In fact, for a few seconds you actually think he is choking but after clearing his throat a few times, Josiah composes himself. “You what?” He repeats, hoping to hear you say those 3 words again before he tries to reassure you “I- well of course I have very deep feelings for you too but you what?”.

Kieran

It seems like another normal day. Everyone knows you’re around the outskirts of camp with Kieran, tending to the horses and doing other miscellaneous tasks… or well that’s what they all presume you’re doing. 

Earlier in the afternoon, you decided to sneak out a bottle of Carribean Rum you found a few days previously, thinking both you and Kieran deserve to have a break. Lounging on some of the bundles of hay, your evening is full of laughter and sweet compliments.

With a break in conversation, you sigh to yourself, a relaxed smile on your face as you shrug and say the almighty three words. It feels so right just to say it, to put it out there and make your feelings clear or at least that’s how it feels with the alcohol in your system.

Kieran props himself up on his elbows, giving you a quizzical look. “Do you mean that like how I love horses or like how John loves Abigail?” he asks “C-cause ‘course I love you in both of those ways… shit, n-not that I’m saying you’re like a horse! Shoot, I ain’t comparing you to a horse, I just mean that I really like spending time with them…” yeah he starts rambling on for the next few minutes and the best way to shut him up (and answer his question) is with a kiss.

Lenny

Whenever you go out with Lenny, you’re guaranteed to have a good time. Whether that be on a job, to scout out places for Dutch or even if you both leave camp just to explore a new area, Lenny always keeps your spirit high.

So, when y’all went on a simple highway robbery job and stumbled upon a wagon full of moonshine, it felt right to start your celebrations early and test out the goods with Lenny… within a half hour you’re both drunk as a skunk.

This isn’t the first time you realise how strong your feelings are for Lenny. You’ve known for a longgg time now but it’s hard to actually say the words or even ask him out on a date. Turning to you, Lenny asks what you’re thinking about and that’s all it takes for you to blurt out exactly how you feel.

It definitely takes Lenny by surprise, not expecting you to be so transparent with your feelings but it’s like a massive weight off of his shoulders. He sighs in relief but stays quiet, deciding actions speak louder than words. Glancing down at your mouth, Lenny leans closer and closer until his lips are finally on yours.

[eartheats]

[a rotomblr live pops up from ren's account! it seems very intentionally set up, though the first shot you get is a closeup of ren's face]

🔆: --Ohh, it's working! [ren steps back, flashing a peace sign at the camera; the background is overlooking the cascarrafa gym arena, and ren's rotom phone is quick on the draw of blurring out any of the faces in the crowd besides ren's own, and kofu's in the background] So, um, just double checking--you're still okay with this, right Mr. Kofu?

[kofu responds with a warm laugh, clapping his hands delightedly]

🦀: 'Course I am, kid! Thanks fer bein' such a good sport either way, but I kin say I don't got any problem with goin' on the big screen!

[ren turns around to kofu, bowing their head and then jumping up and pumping their fists]

🔆: Thank you so so so much! I appreciate it a lot, sir! It's been a long time since me and my partner has battled like this...but we're gonna do our very best! Ain't we, Lulu?

🪱: Orth!!

[Lulu pops up easily into the shot, smiling into the camera before taking his place onto the field; Kofu's Veluza follows soon after, and the battle begins!]

🔆: Alright, Lulu! Let's show 'em all we got! [...ignore how ren keeps fidgetting with their sleeve, they are SO nervous--] Go for Heavy Slam, to start!

[Lulu's off like a shot once the battle begins in earnest, and Kofu's Veluza responds in kind; Lulu slams his whole body into the Veluza as hard as he can, but the fish still holds strong!]

🦀: Not a bad start! Veluza, give 'im a servin' of Aqua Cutter fer his trouble!

[It doesn't take long for the Veluza to fire back, sending sharp, watery slashes Lulu's way; it manages to knock him back, but if the loud roar that Lulu gives is any indication, he's enthusiastic for a fight!]

🔆: Keep holdin' steady Lulu--let's give him an Earthquake!

[Lulu rushes into action at that, leaping into the air to slam the Veluza to the ground, leaving a rather impressive impact on the ground--and a fainted Veluza in it's wake.]

🔆: Yeah!! [Ren's fists pump in the air] Let's go Lulu, you show 'em!

🦀: Not bad, not bad! I kin see you raised this feller to be quite strong! Let's see if ya can keep it up--Wugtrio, yer up next!

[kofu sends out his next Pokemon easily, and ren's almost ready to start giving the order again--but something happens in the background, something that startles everyone, and the camera focuses in on a very enthusiastic roselia attempting to step in--]

🦀: Well now, who's this?

🔆: Bouton!! What are you doin'?! [ren rushes over to the roselia, who seems none too perturbed as the camera focuses on him] Come on, buddy, you can't just come out willy-nilly here. I thought I told ya that.

🌹: Roselia!

[bouton seems none too perturbed even still, and looks out to the battlefield and to lulu for a moment--before walking right up to and past lulu, using one of his roses to push him out of the way. ineffectively, of course, but still prompting surprise from the orthworm--]

🪱: Orth??

🔆: --I'm with Lulu here, what? [ren looks over at the roselia, who stands resolute on the battlefield] You can't be serious, you can't just waltz into battle, that's not--I don't--

[as if on cue, kofu's laughter breaks through the rather anxiety inducing situation on ren's end, prompting them to look over to him]

🦀: Well, ain't this a feisty little fella! You think you can handle what ol' Kofu's cookin'?

[bouton looks over, past ren and to kofu, and responds with an affirmative nod--he's ready! he was born ready for this! ...okay not quite, but he's got the spirit--]

🦀: Well? What say you, kid? [kofu looks to ren, who seems a little concerned] I think yer lil friend here wants to show you what he's made of. Why not give 'im a chance?

[ren seems to contemplate this for a moment, considering...they look to the determined gaze that bouton gives them. there's a fire in his eyes they've never seen...and well...]

🔆: ...Alright, Bouton. You win--but if things start gettin' hairy, you gotta get out, okay? Promise?

🌹: Rose, rose! [bouton jumps up a bit, cheerily, before lulu slinks back and lets bouton take the stage]

🔆: Alright, Bouton! Let's show 'em what for!

[bouton seems to be born ready for this; kofu laughs, and he starts the battle off by commanding wugtrio to use mud slap--an attack that gets bouton dirty more than anything, but he seems content to take the battle in his own hands while ren fidgets with their pokedex and tries to find what moves bouton knows, he seems to...multiply? ren's eyes widen in seeming recognition]

🔆: When'd ya learn Double Team you lil'...?! [ren pauses a bit, shaking their head--they watch as wugtrio starts missing and missing those mud slaps as bouton continues to use the same move, more surprised than anything. bouton's holding his own surprisingly well] --Alright, I got it! Bouton--hope I got this right, but--use Magical Leaf!

[bouton looks to ren, getting hit with a mud slap in the process and getting knocked to the ground--before ren can worry, though, beautiful looking leaves come out of bouton's roses, and they fly at wugtrio with precision and ease. enough so that the wugtrio faints immediately, shocking everyone in attendance]

🔆: You've just been gettin' stronger when I haven't been lookin'...!

[as if on cue, kofu laughs a bit, heartily and proudly]

🦀: That was amazin'! Yer lil buddy really showed his stuff, huh? [kofu brings out his last poke ball, though, and his tera orb comes soon after] But you better be prepared--the tide's comin' in, and yer gonna get swept up if you ain't careful!

[bouton looks up at that, seeming a little more uncertain about this now--it's then that ren smiles, whistling for him to come back. lulu even gives bouton a high five as they swap positions, and he looks so proud]

🔆: Alright, you did real darn good, Bouton. But it's time for you to rest--'cause I'm not goin' down without a fight!

[kofu chuckles, sending out crabominable to the field in an instant--lulu in kind takes the field, and it's not too long before kofu and ren both terastalize their pokemon. crabominable turns into a water type, and lulu goes ghost, and the two clash in a flurry of crabhammers and heavy slams--both of them are quite lumbering, but lulu's more than tough enough to take all of crabominable's hits, and crabominable takes the blows well in kind. in a tense standoff of a moment, two of their blows clash harshly on the field--they struggle, seeing who breaks their focus first...

while it seems like lulu is the first to break it, it's a fake out--one that leaves crabominable wide open.]

🔆: Now, Lulu, finish it! Earthquake!

[and in an instant, lulu winds up taking crabominable's arm--and with a startling amount of ease, lulu grabs his opponent by one of his arms, briefly lifting the other pokemon into the air by the arm and swinging it around--

before slamming it into the ground, crabominable fainting in defeat.

there's a brief moment of quiet, a brief moment where the camera focuses on ren's face--before they start to cry tears of joy, and the crowd roars with cheers aplenty. kofu's voice eventually joins the cheers, and the rotomblr live ends.

THANKS FOR WATCHING.]

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Barbarian

Brian Keene: hey guys we’re going to do a collection of barbarian horror Robert E Howard: hang on thar a dang second pardna Howard: how y’all gonna do that? Keene: well I think Keene: it’ll go a little something Keene: like this…

[wasteland expanse] Brian Keene: [in loincloth] I am Brian Keene: brian the barbarian Keene: greatest warrior on all krull Keene: hark! Who is this brassy spitfire who approaches? Mary SanGiovanni: [in chainmail bikini]

SanGiovanni: I am Mary, the warrior queen of SanGiovanni Keene: A woman? A woman warrior? Surely a jest! Hailey Piper: do not speak to the warrior queen thus, vile cur! SanGiovanni: conserve your strength, huntress! SanGiovanni: we shall need it in time to breast boobily across the steppes Keene: constrain your yapping dog, wench! Your handmaiden forgets her place Piper: I am no mere handmaiden! Piper: I am Hailey the huntress Piper: I thrill to the hunt! Piper: but also

Keene: what ho! A warrior approaches! Joe Lansdale: greetings, fellow wanderers Lansdale: I am Joe of Lansdale Lansdale: My sword is big like the wide open expanses of the Texas sky Lansdale: and my strength as persistent as the memory of the alamo

Lansdale: I challenge you, brian the barbarian Keene: I accept, joe of Lansdale, for my arm is strong and my blade is sharp Lansdale: you speak much, whelp, but let’s see how you fight [they fight] Lansdale: DON’T Lansdale: MESS Lansdale: WITH Lansdale: TEXAS!!!

Stephen Graham Jones: [wearing elk skull mask] halt travelers Jones: you dare cross the domain of Stephen of Graham of Jones? Jones: to proceed, you must best me in a contest of strength and skill Keene: name the game, gatekeeper! Jones: basketball Keene:

Keene: augh! I am injured! Keene: Look away, wench! None may witness my manly tears! Mary SanGiovanni: But that wound requires healing salve, you brashly impulsive warrior!

Brian Keene: so what did you think of that? Barker: sounds like a lot of nerd shit Robert Howard: now hold on there pardna Howard: I plum enjoyed that Howard: specially the part about Texas Howard: I like the cut of this Lansdale feller’s gib

[alovelyfox]

Chapter 10: Oh Hamburgers

Please note there are mentions of implied drug use and implied domestic threats in this chapter, so reader discretion is advised.

Is Y/N a Whole Foods disguised as a beautiful girl? That’s the only explanation Kyle can think of as to why so many of his South Park friends are suddenly appearing back in his life after he met her. He knows it’s probably all a big coincidence, but even if it is true, he can’t blame them. She has a magnetism around her that draws people in, one he himself fell prey to earlier that day. He knew it was impossible to control himself when he’s around her, yet did it anyway. But… she didn’t pull away when he asked her not to stop what she was doing, and that single thought fills him with an inexplicable feeling of hope that he hasn’t felt since he started killing.

However, he has no room in his head to think about these feelings right now , instead his mind is darting between asking what the hell Butters is doing here, or how the hell Y/N seems to know him. Deciding that the first question was less awkward to put forward, he does, and Butters sighs.

“Well, I was just telling Y/N over here that my boyfriend and I broke up, so I came here for a fresh start.”

This didn’t really come as a shock to Kyle. He had sort of always assumed that Butters wasn’t the straightest guy, especially when he got sent to that conversion camp and gave an impassioned speech about bi-curiosity that would rival one of Kyle’s own.

“Ex-boyfriend in South Park? Anyone I would know?”

“You sure would know him, it was Eric!”

“E-Eric Cartman?”

This did come as a shock. It came like a slap in the face actually. Kyle didn’t even know they were dating, much less that they’d broken up. Sure, he’d lost contact with most of South Park years ago when he moved, but this was big news, and he feels like it still should’ve reached him somehow. Even if someone like Ike had to pigeon carry it over.

The revelation of his mortal enemy’s recent love life stuns Kyle into disturbed silence, so Y/N clears her throat and smiles at Butters.

“Well Butters, it's a pleasure to meet you. We should have lunch together sometime.”

“Going out with some friends sounds a helluva lot better than eating a ham & cheese sandwich at my desk, how about today? ” he asks, and Y/N nods, before dragging a still shocked Kyle away to his office, setting him down in his desk chair and leaving him to rethink his life choices at how Eric Fucking Cartman has had more romantic experiences than him.

…

Sienna’s was Y/N’s choice, the familiar ambience relaxing a tense Kyle. The three of them are huddled together in a booth overcrowded with food, while Butters catches his friend up on all the things that went on in South Park in his 7 year absence.

“Tweek and Craig are still going strong. I actually think they’ll be engaged soon, if Tweek can stay still long enough for Craig to ask. Oh, and Clyde…”

Kyle absent-mindedly nods along to what Butters is saying, wondering when he’s gonna get to Cartman. Sure, it’s nice to hear what his old friends were up to, but he can’t deny that the only thing he wants to know is whether or not his former adversary’s life has gone down the shitter like he expected. He knows he shouldn’t compare or whatever, but the verification that years of tormenting had come back to bite Cartman in the ass is something Kyle didn’t realize he needed until his name was mentioned. Realizing that Butters could talk about Tolkien and Nicole’s kids for hours, he tries to delicately plant the idea of talking about his ex into his mind, but accidentally drops it like a bomb.

“So Butters, why the hell did you date Cartman?”

Butters nervously drops the fry he's eating and turns his gaze down towards the food, while Y/N kicks Kyle under the table for being so rude.

“Ow. Sorry dude, I just meant-”

“No, it’s alright. I don’t even know myself. But all of you fellers left, so it was just him & I stuck together. He was pretty sour about it, ya know? Everyone leaving? That’s probably why he clung to me so much. And well, I know it sounds cliché, but he started growing nicer the more he felt he needed me, and one thing led to another… We ended up living together in my parents house, but money was tight, since Eric never had a steady job and I didn’t make enough as a waiter at Denny’s to support both of us. Plus, I had always wanted to move to this city, but Eric was firmly against it. ‘Too many minorities’ he would say when I brought it up. So when I saw this job opportunity as a secretary, I figured, ‘Screw Eric, I wanna do what I wanna do!’. So I broke up with him, hopped on a plane, and here I am!”

“And Cartman was just… fine with that?”

“I think so. We both know it's for the best. In fact, he kept making funny jokes when I broke up with him about how he was gonna come find me, bring me back to South Park, and keep me trapped in his secret bomb shelter until I learnt to love him again. Silly old Eric.”

“Oh my god Butters,” Kyle says, dumbfounded at how lightly he took Cartman’s threats. “Please tell me you haven’t seen him since he said that.”

“Nope! The only people I know in the city right now are you and Y/N unfortunately.”

“Actually, Wendy and Stan are also living here now too,” Y/N informs him joyfully, and a big grin emerges on his face.

“Oh gee, that’s great! Now if Kenny could come back from god knows where and Eric could get over his fear of other races, we could reunite the whole gang!”

Kyle’s mouth falls agape as the realization hits him that Cartman could move here to be closer to Butters. Eric Cartman, the guy who made his entire childhood miserable, who inspired so many of Kyle’s insecurities that he thought he would never like himself ever again. Until Y/N.

Fuck. What happens if Y/N meets him?

Kyle knows that Y/N is pure-hearted, and would never fall for Cartman’s lies and deceptions. But… if he managed to turn her against him, Kyle doesn’t know if he’d be able to control himself. He swore he would only kill for the necessity of it, but with someone like Cartman in the picture, who can rile Kyle’s anger up in a way no one else can… Or even worse, if he managed to find out about what Kyle’s been doing in his free time… Let's just say he wouldn’t let it slide.

He can’t manage another word for the rest of lunch, sulking in silence over the possibility of Cartman returning to his life, while Butters and Y/N continue with their introduction to each other. She keeps sneaking glances at Kyle every time there’s a lull in the conversation, but she eventually sighs when she realizes he's going to be no help, and leaves him to wallow in his own self-pity.

…

After they all return back to the firm, Y/N pulls Kyle into his office and shuts the door behind her, forcing him into his chair before sitting down opposite him.

“Alright, what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me. You were acting really weird that whole lunch, super sad for no reason. So something’s gotta be up, tell me.”

“You noticed? Sorry.”

“Of course I noticed. I didn’t mind talking with Butters since he’s really friendly, but I would’ve liked a distraction from you when he started talking about how he got grounded by his parents for making all the aspiring athletes of South Park and Tom Brady drink his ‘creamy goo’. Which, by the way, what the fuck is up with your town?”

Kyle lets out a small laugh, but remembers who told Butters to do that in the first place, and a somber expression crosses his face. Y/N notices, and gets up from where she’s sitting and kneels down in front of Kyle’s chair, taking his hands in hers.

“Kyle, you know you can tell me anything, right?” she exclaims softly, and the look of pleading for him to be honest with her breaks the last wall in his heart.

He pours out his entire history with Cartman, all the bickering and fighting, along with the constant taunting of his deepest insecurities. Y/N listens carefully to every word, never interrupting, just taking it all in. He finally sighs, and turns his head to the side to avoid her gentle eyes.

“I just… I don’t like who I am when I’m with him. I turn angry and volatile, pretty much the worst version of myself. And I would hate for you to ever see me like that.”

“Kyle,” she whispers, clutching his hand closer to her chest, looking up at him with her affectionate gaze. “Did I ever tell you about the time my best friend got arrested?"

He shakes his head, and she continues.

"Yeah. I had grown up with this girl for most of my life. I knew everything about her, how smart and funny and talented she was, all her passions and dreams. I thought she would be destined for big things, but during our teenage years, she got peer pressured into taking drugs, and eventually became addicted. It was so painful, seeing her turn into the shell of who she once was. Everyone had given up on her when she turned 18, yet I still had hope. I was on my year abroad when she told me she got pregnant, and wanted my help delivering the baby. She had realized that this drug-addled monster wasn't who she is. It had been forced out of her by her 'friends', and it wasn't who she wanted her child to define her as. So, I came back, she got clean, and stayed that way."

She suddenly stops, switching her eyes to the floor.

"But some people didn't like that. And she was found with traces of cocaine in her room despite the fact she hadn't touched the shit for months. But no one believed her, since finding the drugs already fit with the image they had of her in their mind. They refused to let what they thought they knew go, and she ended up in jail."

She takes a deep breath before looking up at Kyle.

"She and her unborn baby died in there, due to how the doctors thought she was still taking, and she didn't receive the proper treatment a pregnant woman needs. That's when I knew I wanted to become a human rights lawyer, to protect not only those who are innocent, but those who become innocent. But what I'm saying is, I believe that our past selves are better left there, in the past. The way you are right now is how I’ll always see you. You could never be ruined in my mind.”

He breathes deeply, trying to control the rapid beats of his heart as he fails to contain the blush spreading across his cheeks. Fuck, how does she know exactly what to say to make his insides glow?

She goes back to her seat, but rests both her arms on his desk and delicately places her head on top of them.

"So that girl is the reason why you were so upset over Gemma?" Kyle asks, and she nods.

"It's also why I said I would help Stan get Wendy back. I'd like to believe there's good in everyone, despite how their past might make it seem. But.. I don't wanna talk about them. Tell me more about South Park, and try to leave Eric Cartman out of it as much as possible. Unless he did something stupid.”

Kyle smirks, leaning back in his chair as he recounts the time Cartman thought he got his period because he was bleeding out of his ass, the anxiousness Kyle feels towards him slowly fading away with every one of Y/N’s soothing laughs.

[kkatastrophic]

idk why but i feel like the funniest and also most annoying thing i see with atla characters is like. how theyre pushed into a VERY small box and mostly known for/ characterized with like. a certain aspect of them.

tell me why i constantly see ‘mom friend katara shes so momcore motherly’ posts. like yeah i guess so but shes more than just a motherly person guys!! shes a teenage girl with anger and rage and a very very strong passion for justice! shes a teenage girl who was forced to mature and clearly dislikes the motherly part of herself!!! cmon guys shed be so upset if she was only known for being a ‘mother hen’ or something!!

aang. poor aang literally hes either a 'pacifist saint scared of confrontation and has no guts' or an 'evildoer thats the founder of frowntown' or some shit. did we watch the same show?? i mean i was a little sleep deprived when i watched it yeah but i dont think aang was the true villain of atla… i think that was ozai? just a guess ? (sarcastic) idk. i just think its crazy that this little fella is usually seen in such a bad light

sokka. my boy sokka brah see hes like. hes a strange thing. i feel like there could be a buzzfeed quiz of Which Sokka Are You? and the options are buff stupid ass himbo that gets girls , annoying male manipulator/manchild that hurts women, mean big brother thats only ever sarcastic and annoying and cynical and NEVER shows any emotion other than hatefulness, spite, and jealousy, or sunshine happy funny guy that aspires to be a comedian and never has any emotions or personality other than butt of the joke/ jokester. and even then those are like. BROAD options. i could get so much more specific but like. i wont because im lazy. it just. it peeves me a little bit but to be fair i am the same type of person to go YOU DONT GET MY FAVE LIKE I DO even though i am bad at overanalyzing characters. sokkas my fave so i might just be spewing nothin but pure ass takes (dont criticize me ill cry)

toph. AUGHHHH IT GETS ME SO MAD!! why is she a mean ass no tolerance no respect girl!! why is it thay most of the time they make her out to be some girl that is mean to others because ‘its funny!!1!1!’ and will never listen and also hates everyone and is unnecessarily violent. THAT or they make her out to some ‘i’m secretly really sweet and nice and kindheartedmaxxed but i hide myself with ANGER and violence and rebellion…’ type of person that acts like a tsundere in extreme comedy animes. like giys please why are there two extremes that neither of which are good!!

dont get me started on zuko because once i start i wont stop . WHY WHY WHY!!!! i scream to the midnight sky as raindrops down my despaired face… WHY is it that hes either a small, shy, vulnerable sack of twigs who cant defend himself and needs his alpha sigma buff boyfriend(s) to defend him at all times or a buff ass strong extremely mean jerk thats also ‘a bad boy with a big heart’ that smirks 25/8 and is sad all the time and in his feels. guys like… WHY?? HES NOT .. GUYS olease. Please please please

pisses me off man! but to be fair i am VERY particular about a lot of thijgs and like. no shame / hate truly. im just a fella who cant shut up, living my life happy go lucky and filled with love and hate. if this offends you PLEASE DONT HURT ME im just a feller!!! a person in this big big world!! twas just a rant!

[kh-marriage-material]

KH Marriage Material Tournament Round 1

Aw shucks, it’s Goofy! Goofy sure knows how to be…uh, goofy. He loves keeping things light, and he knows what friendship means. He’s one of the guys we see the most in the series! Honestly he’s just a sweetheart. Not to mention, he’s literally a dad! He certainly knows how to raise kids if that’s your style, and if not, it’s not a big deal! One person called him “prime malewife material” and has requested a “GOOFY SWEEP.” Are you interested in spending your life with this gentle, loyal feller?

Larxene sure is a strong woman! She isn’t afraid to speak her mind and will speak yours too! One person said “She'd tell the waiter I asked for no jalapenos and get us kicked out of the restaurant but then we'd run down the street hand in hand like Thelma and Louise.” She also, in the past, cared deeply about a dear friend of hers, so we know she probably has the ability to grow a heart somewhere in there! Do you want to be the clyde to her bonnie? The bonnie to her clyde, maybe?

[randomgurustuffs]

What inspired you to start an ask blog?

A feller called Cardslaughter wrote a fanfic called Through the Eyes of Another Pony. He'd put long author updates as part of them and mentioned wasting time looking at askblogs on tumblr-this is how I was introduced to them right as the big names were starting to fade but the mlp community was strong. I lurked for the better part of a year as I wanted to do digital art. Got a tablet for christmas and never looked back.

[luciouslaughs]

WRITING: "Dragons respect the strong," the dragon said. "Okay, so if that's true why do you never attack that one old farmer outside the city." Asked the adventurer. "I'll repeat, Dragons respect the strong."

They used to tell stories about Farmer Deadeye. No, that wasn't his real name. There were several farmers at the local pub who claimed to know it, but at any question of revealing this information, they'd simply scoff and return to their drinks. Deadeye, it seemed, liked the children staying clear of his house.

The stories themselves ranged from the impressive to the terrifyingly absurd. There was the tale they told of the time he dragged a horse 2 miles through a storm after it exhausted itself running from a pack of Darters. As you may know, Darters are a particularly fierce little land dragon that hunt in large packs. They swarm about like mosquitos, taking bites until the target has no more joints left to swing the hole-pocked limbs. The horse, miraculously, survived with only a few nips on its' hindquarters and flank.

Then there was the tale of the Talking Dragon.

Everyone knows these days that Talking Dragons exist, but they are often either so wicked that humanity is but sport to them, or so old and shrouded in that Dragonish shine of knowledge that most humans are but twittering birds to them; something to admire for a moment, maybe ask a rhetorical question or wave a great paw to frighten them away for some amusement.

I was present at the first telling, which is the only reason I choose to share this particular ridiculous tale above all the other ludicrous ones. Unlike the stories told by the children, and the posing grandparents and bar regulars who simply liked to sound impressive, this story is dominated by the power of word. And maybe that is what makes it so interesting. If Old McCare wanted to tell a tall tale, he would have screamed of a great battle, or of Farmer Deadeye hurling a fence post at a great beast and driving it off.

But McCare's story began quite differently from the rest. He seemed shaken that night, as if he had nearly fallen a great height and barely caught himself only a few moments before coming in. He tugged quietly at his drink as a couple curious regulars (including myself) tried to pull the story out of him. When he finally looked at us with tired eyes and began, he spoke softly.

"Weren't not but half a mile from me own farm, down by the old creek near Densbury. I was walking along, quiet like, and before I knows quite what's goin' on, there's a great black shadow round and over me head." McCare laughed shakily. "Well, I can tell ye I had not much thought but of makin' a dash for it when the great shadow, quick as lightning, grows to the size of a house and with a crash I'm seeing the scales and the wings. Big golden feller, with eyes like a fox's." He shook his head, lifting the drink back to his lips.

It was around this time that a ripple of laughter cascaded past me from a couple of the younger farmers. One of them sitting next to me, a man named Jonathon, patted the old man on the shoulder. "Ah, but you're expecting us to believe this great beast circled you as a hawk circles a rabbit, landed in front of you, and here you sit filling the pocket of scoundrels like Robinson?"

More laughter followed these words, and a general quiet cursing from the general direction of the bartender. McCare took no notice of this. He simply dragged his drink for a moment, and continued.

"Aye, you'd think I were not but hatchlin' meal- as it as I were in no position to run; great thing's landin' shook the earth around it like pudding, and I was on me back. And if it had been a normal dragon I'm sure that would have been the end. But this one, this one spoke to me." The last words were barely a whisper, but everyone heard them.

General uproar. Some laughter, some genuine shouts of "a talking dragon?!", "could he be serious?!" and the like, and some scoffs and words of disapproval- "scarin' folks for no reason-", "always some fool tryin' to outdo the last liar-", and so on and so on.

When the noise settled back down, McCare finally recounted the part that would be told for years, decades, maybe even centuries to come.

"Well, he says to me in a voice like a bull and a cat and a crow all in one, 'little mortal, either I am mistaken, or you seek a petty price for the weight of your soul.'

Well, to be sure I weren't quite aware of his meanin' and, bein' so happy not bein' eaten and all, I supposes to myself 'I may as well return his riddle if I can!' And so I says, looking into those great monstrous eyes, 'great master of the skies, you behold a mortal with little of either and very often mistaken. Do I misunderstand your meaning, o Lord of Sea and Flame?'

At this, the dragon throws back his head and laughs like a great bell of flesh and bone. He peers at me and says, 'oh little mortal, your reply is satisfactory, although it is not dazzling. You have thus saved yourself from the fate of becoming my son's next meal, and earn yourself the reward of a question. For it is the strong who shall be treated as equals, and dragonborn shall respect them.'

I says to the dragon, thinking the only thought that may have come to my mind as I stood there, shaking in my terror and wonder, 'I say, Mr. Dragon, your people attack our towns near daily, as I reckon. How comes I've never seen a dragon go after that old farmer down the road there?'

And the dragon turns to follow my finger as I point to Deadeye's farm, and a little grin comes upon his face.

'The little mortal who dwells within that hut has earned our benevolence,' says he. 'In the days of the Great Skyworms of the East, he wrestled my brother, Sliv'je the Fang for a whole day and night before being bested.'

'Bested?' I says, me mouth going dry. 'But, o Winged bringer of the Justice and Time, would you not have killed the poor man then?

And once again, the dragon laughed. And somehow-" McCare paused in his story, staring down at a spot on the table, "-somehow, it was nicer laugh this time.

'Little mortal,' says he, 'if a mouse wrestled a dog for a morning and an afternoon before fleeing, would the dog ever think to make a mouthful of it again?'"

END

LUCIOUSLAUGHS

[angel-inked]

Silenced Fire, Chapter 1: "Wasted"

The first official chapter of my Silenced Fire fic, there will eventually a master post when but for the moment you can find chapter two (here)

Taglist: @vvkingofgaybisciutsvv @thequeenofthewinter @hecatemoon87

"You're not supposed to be here" a young Forrest Bondurant, no more than 6, spoke. The intruder, who broke into the Bondurant home with more than just burglary on his mind, approached the young boy armed with a shotgun. "Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out now does it?" The man countered, swiping the gun away from Forrest. The strength difference obviously in the stranger's favor "how about I show you what a grown man does to innocent little things like you, eh?"

Forrest Bondurant flew upright in his bed, the vision of the man that stole his voice leaving him sweating profusely. "You alright?" Howard asked. Forrest looked towards his older brother, who had fallen asleep in the chair at the other side of his brother's room after drinking too much, as he was commonly known to do. Forrest shook his head. Howard frowned, he stumbled from his chair and walked over to lay down on the bed. "Don't worry, me and Jack won't let anyone touch you like that ever again" he explained, putting an arm around his little brother's shoulders and gently pulled Forrest back down to a laying position. Forrest tried to relax into his big brother's hold but he flinched at a noise, the noise being his brother's snoring, Forrest rolled his eyes. staring at the ceiling, wondering if he'd fall back asleep or not

The next morning, the brother's were getting ready to open up the station for the day. "Everything okay?" Jack asked, sensing Forrest' tension. "Just another nightmare" Howard replied. Jack moved over to hug Forrest "it'll be alright, okay? Howard and I will see to that" the youngest Bondurant explained. Forrest nodded, then made his way past his brothers, behind the bar, where he lit a cigar "it's hard to talk big with a shotgun in you're mouth" he grumbled, exhaling a puff of smoke. Howard and Jack looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Forrest on the other hand, always had reasoning for what little he spoke.

Suddenly, the front door swung open, "what's a feller got to do to get a drink around here?" The first man shouted, smoothing his mustache. "Pay for it" Forrest explained, walking up to the two men. As Forrest neared, a wave of nausea and uneasiness washed over him. The second man, the one without a mustache or any hair on his head or face for that matter, grabbed his shirt collar aggressively "have you met Howard?" Was all Forrest had to say, for Howard to put both men on the ground. "You put you're hands on either of my little brothers again and I'll kill you're asses" Howard yelled. Once satisfied with his work, Howard turned back and lifted Forrest up off the floor, having been shoved by his attacker. "What's wrong Forrest?" Howard asked, concerned, he didn't like the look in his little brother's eyes. "I've got a bad feeling about these two" Forrest explained, "hull'em out" he ordered, walking away from the scene. Howard and Jack quickly got to work removing the unconscious smart mouths, but a thought lingered with them both

How bad was this feeling?

Forrest however, knew how bad it was. Pacing in his office, he racked his brain. He knew those two men from somewhere but he just couldn't place them. The only thing he was absolutely sure of was they would be back, he didn't know when or where but this wouldn't be last time the Bondurant brothers dealt with these particular folk. He griped the brass knuckles in his pocket, grimacing as cigar smoke rolled off his lips. Well now, isn't that just wonderful, he shook his head as he examined the jar of clear left on the floor by his desk chair. Left by Howard no doubt, as Forrest sat down, he knew that the half full mason jar would be empty before too long. He needed something strong and stiff to cease his racing mind and sense he didn't fancy having Howard beat his head in, shine would have to do.

A little while later, he could hear the sound of some the Bondurant's more regular bar goers downstairs, as well as Howard removing some of them after a fight broke out. Forrest was for the most part uninterested in conflict, he preferred to settle things with his words ironically, but he couldn't deny that a few punches here and there could definitely help. Sometimes conflicts were unavoidable, especially in his line of work. He shook his head in annoyance, as the fight continued between the patrons, Forrest had half a mind to walk down there and settle things himself but that would require effort. Effort that he couldn't quite seem to muster at this moment in time, "hopefully Howard don't do anything stupid.." he thought, sipping from the jar in his hand, knowing he'd probably be the one to clean up after the spat.

"What do I do..." he muttered aloud, staring a hole through his whiskey jar. This wasn't like Forrest, he usually had a plan to get the him and brothers out of whatever trouble they found themselves in, but alas his mind was blank and about as empty as anyone stupid enough to cross Howard, who he still heard yelling downstairs, was he losing his touch? He hoped not. He'd always been the obvious leader of the brother's, even when they were kids. So, why was his mind failing him? He had an idea, but wasn't sure if he wanted to be proved right. One thing Forrest did know, if he was going to sleep tonight, he was gonna need a lot more whiskey. Against his better judgment, he went down to the bar, found himself a stool and drowned his worries the best way he knew how.

What else was he supposed to do?

He also failed to notice the two pairs of eyes watching him diligently, "I'm worried about him" Jack said, breaking the silence between him and his eldest brother. "Me too" Howard frowned. Why was their brother doing this to himself? They weren't sure, but they weren't about to get into it with Forrest in front of all their customers. Having a fight with you're sibling when the place was packed was not a good look for the Bondurant business, so they watched from afar, as something seemed to be eating away at their brother, their leader, the person they looked to when they didn't know what to do or needed advice but most importantly, they loved Forrest, he was always there for both of them, now it was their turn to be their for him.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Slammer

Debut: Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon 

Oh to be a big brutish lug who uses violence to solve all his problems! The life of a cartoon musclehead is my biggest aspiration. Find yourself a nice mafia boss to work with, all you have to do is respond with an occasional “that’s right boss” or “sure thing boss”! You wouldn’t have to worry about a thing!

Er... not that this enemy is specifically that. But he reminds me of that! 

This is Slammer! Slammer slams. I’d say his design pretty much tells you everything you need to know, this is a big, aggressive oaf that likes to destroy things! Of course in real life you shouldn’t judge people by appearances like this. It’s bad! Sometimes a very large strong man may be very intelligent. Or he might not be! It’s still not your place to judge, you... judgy person. 

What did I tell you? Slammer’s description describes him as a tender feller with a heart of gold. Like all the ghosts in Dark Moon, they used to be Fun and Nice before the Dark Moon was shattered, at the cost of having pupils. Here we see one holding Mario. We know no evildoer could cradle Mario like a child! 

You know I only just realised he has two teeth on his underbite. Huh! I guess you can’t see them that well in front of his white mouth. 

But Slammer can do more than slam; Slammer can clap! But he’s not called Clapper, so don’t get too ahead of yourself. It’s illustrated very nicely in this very nice artwork of him clapping. I guess you could interpret it as him holding something very shiny in his hands. But you know it’s not that! You’re just being silly at this point! Anyway, I’ve always loved this art for the ghosts- the black backgrounds with the metallic shine give it a very nice look! Good job guys!

Here is more of that artwork! I know it feels like I’m padding whenever I include every single image I can find in a post, but I like sharing nice artwork! Look how expressive this is! Not every game makes nice shiny artwork for their big lugs. 

In Luigi’s Mansion 3 they introduced Hammers! Hammers are totally unrelated to Slammers, but lets be honest, they are just square Slammers. I guess if it’s not broken, you shouldn’t fix it! I do think they are an improvement because they are a cube. But this isn’t Hammer’s post! Get outta here Hammer! 

Wow, I had more to say about Slammer than I thought! In previous posts for the Dark Moon ghosts (ghost posts!), we would post all their variations from Scarescraper with all their descriptions, but this time I will be breaking the mould because I... don’t feel like doing that! We don’t really need to straight up copy info from the Mario Wiki do we? It would only be worthwhile if I wrote a comment for each one, and the funny thing about that is... I don’t feel like doing that! It is 3 AM and they are honestly funny and charming enough on their own without my lame commentary. Check them all out here if you are bored!!

...

...Hey, can I be real with you guys a minute? Every time I say the name Slammer, I get this strange feeling. Like I’m forgetting something important. It’s probably not a big deal, but... well, never mind! I should probably end this post before I end up calling on something... unwanted. See you next time, friends! 

[ttuesday]

I just read the fellers proposing hc and hHHhHhhhh its amazing! Super fun and cute. It did however give me an idea, how about the fellers reacting to getting proposed to?

I just really like the idea of the person being a little woman too :^] Just love that dynamic, BIG stRonG mAN gettin proposed by a little strong woman 😌

Not sure of you done anything like this already and if you have feel free to link it 👀

Anyways hope your doing well!

Thank you!!! Hope you’re doing good too <3 sending you some positive vibes, hopefully you’ll get them in the next 3-5 business days

Arthur

Arthur knew you were up to something. He could tell you were acting strange, especially when you suggested the two of you go out for a scenic ride before dismounting and watching the sunset together.

A part of him was expecting the worst, convincing himself you were going to break up with him. But when you take out a ring and get down on one knee, Arthur’s heart skips a beat. At first he thinks that maybe you’re just joking but once Arthur sees how hopeful you look, he knows this is for real.

After you ask, it takes Arthur a few seconds to reply, the suddenness of this making it hard for him to get the words out properly. “I… y-yes… yes!” a smile spreads across his face as he answers. Arthur’s brain is frazzled by all of this but he’s happy you asked and that you’re both finally engaged.

When you’re telling the gang about it, Arthur is a little awkward, expecting some light teasing from the other fellers for not being the one to propose but Arthur doesn’t care about what the others think. He’s your fiancé now and that’s what matters.

Charles

You planned out the perfect day for you both before finally ending it off by proposing to Charles. He always thought he was good at picking up on things and being able to tell when you’re keeping something from him but Charles actually had no idea you were going to propose until you popped the question.

It takes a few seconds for everything to register with him but he quickly says yes, nodding his head as he grins. The perfect day out with you makes sense now and considering how much you and Charles care for each other, why wouldn’t he want to marry you?!

His heart feeling full of love, Charles answers “You’re the love of my life, of course I’ll marry you”. Once he has the ring on his finger, Charles cups your cheek and kisses you deeply.

You mean so much to him and the fact that you want to marry him honestly amazes Charles. After this great news, Charles is planning to give you a night to remember *wink wink*.

Dutch

Dutch enjoys being the dominant one in the relationship. He likes being in charge and he’s usually the one in control of dates and other activities.

So when you take charge, deciding to propose to him after a relaxing day out together, you completely take him by surprise. He doesn’t give you a straight answer, preferring to talk about why you decided to propose instead of actually answering your question.

Yeah he’s trying to delay the part where he’s suppose to answer. It’s not that Dutch doesn’t want to marry you, this is all very sudden for him and Dutch hasn’t had any time to proper think of his answer or the logistics of any of this.

“Well, my sweet…. You certainly know how to surprise a man” he gives you a quick charming smile before leaning in to kiss you… yeah, his plan is to just keep kissing you for as long as possible so your mouth will be too preoccupied to ask him what his answer is.

Micah

Micah malfunctions. He can’t comprehend why you’d want to marry him or if this is some kind of joke or if you’re doing this to embarrass him. For a few seconds he just stares at you, his brain trying to work out why tf you’re doing this as his breathing gets starts to get heavy (he’s really starting to panic the more he thinks about this).

Scoffing, Micah sarcastically says “very funny” before he starts to walk off. He doesn’t think you’re being genuine, mainly because he doesn’t see why you’d want to spend the rest of your life with him or why you’d want to commit to a man like Micah long-term.

Once you run after him and explain this isn’t a joke… well, Micah still malfunctions. He doesn’t want to say no because he loves you and he probably would marry you but he doesn’t know how to say that without looking somewhat vulnerable.

Kissing your cheek, Micah takes the ring from you but he starts to walk away again. He needs some time to think and now you’re more confused as ever. Micah glances over his shoulder at you, calling out “See you at the alter”.

John

John was utterly clueless that you were going to propose. You both went for a nice day out to town and ended the day cuddling in his tent, keeping quiet so the rest of camp wouldn’t hear ye.

When John leaves to relieve himself, you take the opportunity to grab the ring and get down on one knee. It’s not as romantic as people would anticipate but it’s low key and intimate, something you know John would appreciate.

When John comes back in and sees you there, ring in hand as you ask him to marry you, his eyes go wide. Staying completely silent, John moves over to his jacket, rummaging around in his pocket before taking something out.

“I’ve been trying to think of the best place to ask you the same question” he confesses, showing you the ring he got for you. John can’t stop giggling at the fact he’s taken so long trying to plan a proposal that instead you’ve proposed to him. He thinks it’s great and swaps rings with you before capturing your lips in an eager kiss.

Javier

This is the last thing Javier ever expected to happen. He has no problem with you taking charge and asking the question, if anything Javier is in awe at how passionate you are about wanting to marry him.

Seeing you knee down and pop the question solidifies Javier’s love for you. He feels honored that you’re proposing and couldn’t care less about the tradition gender roles around proposals.

Javier slowly bends down so he’s at the same level as you, gently cupping your cheek. Keeping his voice soft, Javier says “You’re the best thing in my life, the one person who truly knows me. I love you and yes, I’ll marry you”. He’s touched, never feeling so loved in his entire life.

Since this is such an intimate moment between you both, Javier asks if y’all can keep this on the down low for a while. He likes living in this happy bubble you’ve both created and wants to wait for the right time before celebrating with the rest of the gang.

Bill

You completely catch Bill by surprise when you propose. He doesn’t know what to say or how to react to this. He never thought he’d find himself in a situation like this and he’s baffled by it.

Bill doesn’t understand why you had to ask and why you couldn’t get him to ask you instead. He’ll try to argue about it but he doesn’t storm off or leave, just huffing and crossing his arms when you explain that you wanted to be the one to propose.

Bill goes quiet for a while and when you push him for an answer, Bill throws his hands up and says “Well of course I’m saying yes… but you could’ve given me a heads up, you know I ain’t a fan of surprises”.

He’s a little grumpy because of how flustered this has made him but he’s beaming with excitement on the inside.

Sean

Sean likes to talk about marriage in a very causal, jokey way with you. Whenever you’re both in a very lovey dovey mood and doing a lot of PDA, Sean pretends he can hear wedding bells off in the distance, giving you a quick wink and a nudge. Or he’ll straight out just call himself your husband sometimes.

But he’s never hinted at proposing or taking any actual steps towards marriage. So you decide to propose to him instead, making Sean gasp loudly when you reveal the engagement ring you’ve gotten him.

He’s totally shocked for a few seconds, his eyes glued to the ring until finally, he snaps into action, grabbing you and twirling you around.

He kisses you anywhere he can, laughing loudly as he chants “We’re getting married! We’re getting married!”. He’s hyper and honestly if it’s up to Sean, you’ll both go tie the knot right now.

Hosea

Hosea knows you’re not one to follow usual stereotypes or feel entrapped by gender roles in a relationship, it’s one of the things he loves about you but he never thought he’d see you proposing to him. 

Hosea always thought about asking you to marry him but that tiny sliver of doubt would stop him, wondering what if you said no or if it accidentally damages your relationship instead of strengthening it.

Hosea feels a light blush on his face when you ask, flustered and completely speechless. Taking a second to let this all sink in, Hosea takes your hands in his before saying “You know I’ll marry you in a heartbeat, of course the answer’s yes”.

He’s so happy, although there is a little part of him that’s disappointed he didn’t get to surprise you with a proposal instead. But don’t worry, he’s planning a bigger surprise for the wedding!

Trelawny

The second you start to get down on one knee, Trelawny can feel himself getting light headed. He tries to rationalize it in his head, waiting for you to just fix your boot or pick something up off the ground. You’ve never had an in depth talk about marriage so although the idea that you might be proposing pops into his head, Josiah doesn’t believe it until you actually take out the ring and ask the question.

Honestly, you taking the reins and deciding to propose to him is kind of a turn on for Trelawny. He’s definitely a fan of you being in charge and the fact that you want to marry him makes Josiah feel so goddamn special. Getting caught up in the moment, he blinks back a few tears before answering your question.

“My dear… yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, one thousand times yes!” He’s so excited, practically smothering you in kisses as he keeps repeating “Yes!”.

He loves his ring, showing it off to everyone in camp and gushing about how courageous you are for asking the question. Be prepared though, he will want to start planning the wedding by tomorrow.

Kieran

Kieran’s trying to figure out who put you up to this or who’s blackmailing you into this. He cannot comprehend why on earth you’d want to marry him.

Kieran thinks so highly of you and although he loves you more than life itself, he’s scared he’s not good enough or that you’ll regret it proposing to him.

He hesitates when you ask. Pulling his gaze away from the ring, he slowly looks to you and asks if you’ve reallllllly thought this through fully. He’s gonna need to talk everything through with you first, just while the shock of it all sets in and you explain that you truly want to be with him for the rest of your life.

Kieran swallows nervously before looking to you with a smile. “Of course, I’ll marry you,” he says softly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer “but only if you let me buy you a ring too!”. Expect Kieran to be more affection afterwards, wanting to properly show you his appreciation and love for you.

Uncle

He says no </3

[edenmemes]

red dead redemption 2 starters

❝ in these books life seems so simple, but in reality… i can’t make head nor tail of it. ❞  ❝ listen to me. when the times comes, you gotta run and don’t look back. ❞ ❝ i ain’t afraid of dying. ❞ ❝ i’m still standing, which is an improvement on the last time you saw me. ❞ ❝ i still think about you. that was...that was quite a time. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ your father would rather you did not do anything so foolish. ❞ ❝ forgiveness, well...it’s just an easy way of saying ‘i don’t care no more’. ❞ ❝ i know you like to hide behind the angry moron act, but it’s a thin enough veneer. ❞ ❝ when somebody doesn’t lie in this world and you don’t lie to them, then together you can achieve great things and destroy great powers. ❞ ❝ i remain a fool, and i’m sure i shall die a fool, but i’m trying very hard to be something like the man you deserve. ❞ ❝ i am always honest, maybe not always good, but i'm always honest. ❞ ❝ why you got that guilty look on your face? ❞ ❝ i trust i will not make a god awful fool of myself once more-- but somehow i imagine i shall. ❞ ❝ please don’t go to any trouble on my account. ❞ ❝ you ain’t gonna die. not yet. ❞ ❝ feels like things have changed...the whole world has changed. ❞ ❝ i feel like we haven’t spoken for days. ❞ ❝ we’re thieves in a world that don’t want us no more. ❞ ❝ we can’t change what’s done. we can only move on. ❞ ❝ just do one thing or the other. don’t try to be two people at once. ❞ ❝ we’re more ghosts than people. ❞ ❝ how can romance ever be silly? it’s all we have. ❞ ❝ vengeance is an idiot’s game. ❞ ❝ i don’t think we can go much further on the horses. ❞ ❝ i'm surprised we escaped at all. ❞ ❝ you’re...i was gonna say you’re like a son/daughter to me. ❞ ❝ you’re...i was gonna say you’re like a son/daughter to me...but you’re more than that. ❞ ❝ this is a new low, even by your standards. ❞ ❝ i do my utmost to avoid you. ❞ ❝ i thought the whole point was that this had nothing to do with you? ❞ ❝ i’m sorry to complain. it’s just so... ❞ ❝ i need you now...more than ever. ❞ ❝ face me to the west so i can watch the setting sun and remember all the fine times we had that way. ❞ ❝ do you ever miss home? must be hard, being so far away. ❞ ❝ you know, we’re gonna need to come up with a better story for that scar. ❞ ❝ there’s a good man within you...but he is wrestling a giant. ❞ ❝ you saved my life. you’re a good man. ❞ ❝ there’s only one of me. i don’t intend for them to know i’m coming. ❞ ❝ i thought you were trying to make me feel better. ❞ ❝ be loyal to what matters. ❞ ❝ you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you squeal before. ❞ ❝ i'm miserable. been a tough few days. ❞ ❝ i trust your judgement. always have. ❞ ❝ i'm just gonna...have a little sit down and...feel sorry for myself. ❞ ❝ i tried. in the end. i did. ❞ ❝ one day, folk will take orders from me...and trust me, it won’t be no laughing matter. ❞ ❝ here, take a drink of this. ❞ ❝ seems like there ain’t much else in this world except bastards, victims of bastards and the bastards who want to put the bastards in the ground. ❞ ❝ we’ll get off this mountain soon enough. ❞ ❝ i haven’t slept in three days. ❞ ❝ just thought you might’ve moved on by now. ❞ ❝ thanks for coming for me. ❞ ❝ you got sad eyes...like you’ve seen sad things. ❞ ❝ you always said revenge is a luxury we can’t afford. ❞ ❝ you don’t hire a saint to catch a sinner. ❞ ❝ you’re alive! oh, you’re alive! ❞ ❝ go. now. i’ll hold them off. ❞ ❝ are you okay? i mean you no harm. ❞ ❝ i'm nobody. ❞ ❝ what about you? you doubting me too? ❞ ❝ it’s enough to make a man drink. or worse. ❞ ❝ i knew not to trust, yet i had no choice. ❞ ❝ there ain’t no more time to talk. go. ❞ ❝ thank you, for your strength. it means a lot to me. ❞ ❝ firstly, we ain’t friends. don’t make no mistake on that subject. ❞ ❝ i'm so bored i’d rather be shot. ❞ ❝ it’ll mean a lot to me...please. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna sleep with your chest open if you ain’t careful. ❞ ❝ the bond we share, it’s the most real thing to me. i would kill for it, i would happily die for it... ❞ ❝ life is full of pain. but there is also love, and beauty. ❞ ❝ my pa used to say you stare into the fire long enough you can see the whole world pass by. ❞ ❝ whenever we happen to meet, you’re always helping people and smiling. ❞ ❝ do as you’re goddamn told. and shoot well. ❞ ❝ i guess he never outgrew his anger. kind of like you. ❞ ❝ some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ you’re driven by powerful forces i scarcely understand. ❞ ❝ oh you fool. you sad, deluded fool. torn in two by different ideas of who you were, and it turns out you weren't neither of them. ❞ ❝ well, i think you’re as slippery as an eel in an oil slick, but still a man/woman. ❞ ❝ with you watching over me, i’d walk into hell itself. ❞ ❝ lack of something to feel important about is almost the greatest tragedy a man may have. ❞ ❝ when i was your age, i fought. i saw death. i have killed. ❞ ❝ i wish things were different. but it weren’t us who changed. ❞ ❝ nobody’s taking anything from me ever again. ❞ ❝ some jobs aren’t for saving and some legacies are for pissing on. ❞ ❝ you're my favorite parasite... no, wait, ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second-favorite parasite... i lied. ringworm, then, rats with the plague, then you. ❞ ❝ just leave it to me. i can talk a dog off a meat wagon. ❞ ❝ forgive me if i slip and stab you in the face. ❞ ❝ this place, ain’t no such thing as civilized. it’s man so in love with greed, that he has forgotten himself and found only appetites. ❞ ❝ shut up...you know, you’re not very nice to me. ❞ ❝ the amount of hell we’ve raised, we’re owed some back. ❞ ❝ i haven’t done anything wrong aside of not playing the games to your rules. ❞ ❝ don’t let yourself get killed...for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk. ❞ ❝ when you fall, there’ll be a party. ❞ ❝ every day i didn’t kill you, is a day i saved your life. ❞ ❝ i can’t kill them all silently so, when they chase me, you go the other way. ❞ ❝ does this seem like a good time for sarcasm to you? ❞ ❝ usually i’m worse than the wolves. ❞ ❝ i don’t have to be careful. i have you as a friend. ❞ ❝ i wish i had acquired wisdom at less of a price. ❞ ❝ they’re chasing us hard, because we represent everything they fear. ❞ ❝ you know all that mattered to me was loyalty? it was all i ever believed in. ❞ ❝ never thought i’d say this but...it’s good to see you. ❞ ❝ we’ve all lived bad lives. we all sin...but i know you. ❞ ❝ i kill people. and maybe i should’ve killed you. ❞ ❝ ain’t you a sorry sight? ❞ ❝ your job’s starting the fights, it ain’t winning them. ❞ ❝ some big, loud mouthed bastard tried to rob me when i was out riding so i... well, you know how it is. ❞ ❝ there ain’t no shame in looking for a better world. ❞ ❝ i can hunt, carry a knife, and use a gun. ❞   ❝ ...is it too late for us? ❞ ❝ if the purpose of life was to be liked...it would be very boring indeed. ❞ ❝ i’ve been running for as long as i can remember. ❞     ❝ they turned me into a monster. ❞   ❝ i always wondered if i was unlucky...but maybe i’m just not very good. ❞ ❝ don’t kill yourself over pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folks. ❞ ❝ sorry if i seem a little desperate. i am a little desperate. ❞ ❝ if anyone gets close to me, they’re wanted too. and i can’t have you wrapped up in that. ❞ ❝ there’s all kinds of nasty people who want to speak to you. ❞ ❝ they won’t hear anything about you from me. ❞ ❝ tell me about you, darling and armed to the teeth like that. ❞ ❝ i also...found out some unsettling news about you. ❞ ❝ i don’t know how to say it...thank you. ❞ ❝ you...don’t like me much, do you? ❞ ❝ i can’t lie to you. i’m a wanted man. ❞ ❝ that’s quite a scratch you got there. ❞ ❝ take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. ❞ ❝ i’m seeing things a lot more clearly now. ❞ ❝ where are you? can you hear me? ❞ ❝ i think someone saw some wolves, not far away. you should watch out. ❞ ❝ guess all i got now is doubt. doubts and scars. ❞ ❝ it wasn’t me who went and shot him. ❞ ❝ will you dance with me? ❞ ❝ i like you. you’ve got a kind face. ❞ ❝ i’m not a good man. not usually. ❞ ❝ there’s a lot i should’ve done and even more i shouldn’t have done. ❞ ❝ you are a compulsive liar. ❞ ❝ next time, i’ll slit your throat myself. ❞ ❝ as long as we get paid or you get shot, i’m happy. ❞ ❝ i'm not designed for this snow. ❞ ❝ you don’t get to live a bad life and have good things happen to you. ❞ ❝ shut up you silly man and kiss me. ❞ ❝ who made you the messiah of these poor souls you’ve led so horribly astray? ❞ ❝ maybe it’s a sign. try to do the good thing. ❞ ❝ how many times do i gotta bury you? ❞ ❝ you are the only feller who could get half of their brain eaten by wolves and end up more intelligent. ❞ ❝ five thousand dollars? for me? can i turn myself in? ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging. ❞     ❝ we ain’t both gonna make it. ❞ ❝ i gave you all i had. i did. ❞ ❝ if we have to fight, we fight. If we have to run, we’ll run. if we must die, we’ll die. but…we’ll stay free. ❞ ❝ people call me lazy. i’m not lazy, just don’t like working. there’s a difference. ❞ ❝ i guess...i’m afraid. ❞ ❝ oh, i didn’t know i was talking to a lady. ❞ ❝ i don’t feel too good. ❞ ❝ you have finally lost your mind. ❞

[thelastspeecher]

I just updated a multichap yesterday, so I’m gonna be lazy and not bother giving this ficlet a title.  As an explanation: I was listening to the PJO musical a couple weeks ago and it inspired me enough to finally get around to some scenes in my Olympian Falls AU that I’ve been meaning to write up.  Last night, I finished up those scenes and decided fuck it, I’m gonna post ‘em, despite the close proximity to a multichap update.  Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.

(And yes, this ficlet takes place in the retconned Olympian Falls AU, not the OG.)

——————————————————————————————

             Stan and Ford walked up to the porch of the Big House, where Mr. D stood, scowling.

             “Someone told us we were needed,” Ford said.  Mr. D looked over.  Stan and Ford followed his gaze.  At the camp boundary, a girl who looked to be a few years younger than them was having a conversation with a man.

             “Lemme guess.  New arrival we’ve gotta show the ropes?” Stan drawled.  Mr. D nodded.

             “Got it in one, Pines.  Go handle it.”  With that, he went into the Big House.  Ford looked at Stan.

             “How you managed to get on his good side, I’ll never know.”

             “Eh.”  Stan shrugged.  The two began to walk towards the girl and man.  “Luck of the draw.”  They stopped a polite distance away.

             “Sunshine, you need to be here,” the man said.  His voice was thick from the tears glimmering in his eyes. Clearly, he was trying his best to put on a brave face for the girl.  The girl shook her head.

             “No, Pa, I want to stay home!” she wailed.  The man knelt and embraced her tightly.

             “Honey-bun, that nice goat feller what led us here explained that it ain’t safe fer ya to stay on the farm,” he said in a strong southern accent.  “It ain’t safe fer ya and it ain’t safe fer the rest of the fam’ly, neither.”

             “But- but-”

             “And don’t forget, that goat feller also said that ya don’t have to stay here.  You’ll only be here durin’ the summer.”  The man broke off the hug to smile at his daughter.  “Think of it like summer camp, sweetie.”

             “I don’t like it.”

             “You’ll make friends ‘fore ya know it,” the man said firmly.  He kissed her forehead and stood, finally catching sight of Stan and Ford.  “Oh, howdy there, young men.”

             “Um, hi,” Ford said hesitantly, stepping forward.  “We’re here to show your daughter around.”

             “See, sweetheart?” the man said to his daughter.  “Already, there’s two nice young men to help ya out.”  His daughter sniffed loudly.  “Mr. Chiron said that they’ve got a phone in the house you can use to call home.”

             “O-okay,” the girl said quietly.  The man hugged her again.

             “I love ya, sunshine.”

             “Love ya too, Pa,” the girl whispered.  The man kissed the top of her head and walked down the hill.  The girl turned to face Stan and Ford.  Tears glistened in her sky-blue eyes, but judging by the shine on her cheeks, they wouldn’t be unshed for long.  “H-howdy,” she stammered.  “I’m- I’m Angie.”  Like her father’s, her voice was thick with emotion, muddling her words.

             “Angie,” Stan said with a nod.  Angie frowned for a moment, opened her mouth, then closed it.  “What’s your last name?”

             “M-McGucket.”

             “Angie McGucket.”  Stan smiled at her.  “I’m Stan Pines, this is my twin brother Ford.  We’re gonna help you settle in, okay?”  Angie nodded tearfully.  She glanced down at her suitcase, resting on the grass beside her.  “I’ll get that for you.”  Stan walked over and picked up the suitcase.  “I’m big and strong.”  Angie scowled.

             “Ya don’t need to talk to me like I’m a baby,” she said.  Stan raised an eyebrow, impressed that she had gone from tearful to talking back so quickly.  “I ain’t a baby.”  She had a southern accent just as strong as her father’s.

             “How old are you?” Ford asked politely.

             “Ten.”

             “Wait, really?” Ford said.  Angie’s scowl deepened.  She crossed her arms.  “It’s just- you’re small for your age, then.”

             “I know,” Angie snapped.

             “We’re ten.”

             “Well, good fer you.”

             “Ford, stop messing with her,” Stan said.  “She’s a newbie.  Who knows what she could do to you if you piss her off enough?”  Angie looked up at Stan curiously.

             “That’s a dirty word ya just used.”

             “Mom isn’t here to wash my mouth out with soap.”

             “Hmm.”  Angie seemed thoughtful.

             “Don’t encourage her to curse,” Ford said.  “Do you think her mortal family would want that?”  He walked up to Angie and smiled.  “I apologize for insulting you.”

             “I ‘ccept yer apology,” Angie mumbled.  She rubbed her eyes.  “Since this is camp, is there a cabin y’all ‘re s’pposed to take me to or somethin’?”

             “There sure is!” Stan said cheerfully.  “C’mon, I’ll show you!  And after we get you settled in, we can do a tour.”

             “A tour?” Angie asked curiously.  The three set off, Ford in front, Stan and Angie trailing after him. “How big is this place?”

             “A lot bigger than you’d expect,” Ford said.  He began to list off the various features of Camp Half-Blood, counting them on his fingers.  “There’s the cabins, the strawberry fields, the dock, the pond, the stables-”

             “Stables!” Angie gasped.  “There’s horses?”

             “No.  Pegasi.”

             “Huh?”

             “Horses with wings,” Stan supplied.  Angie’s eyes widened.  “You can fly on ‘em.”

             “Whoa.”  Angie managed a small smile.  “Maybe there’s somethin’ good ‘bout here after all.”

-----

             “Ugh, great, he’s here,” Angie muttered to herself.

             “Who?” Ford asked.  Angie scowled.

             “Ryan.”

             “Oh, the head of the Apollo cabin,” Ford said cheerfully.  Angie rolled her eyes.

             “Technically, yes.”

             “I think he’s more of a dick than a head,” Stan said.  Angie giggled.  Ryan began to do an archery demonstration with his usual prideful flair.  “He’s the worst.”

             “Agreed,” Angie muttered.  She crossed her arms.  “And he’s not even- there’s a better way to do that!”  She stormed over to Ryan.  Ryan was already eighteen, while Angie was a very short eleven, making the confrontation that much more entertaining.  Stan and Ford watched, amused, as the still green half-blood scolded a cabin leader.

             “She’s gonna get claimed any day now,” Stan said.

             “Absolutely,” Ford said.  Angie had discovered at the end of her first summer that she was too powerful a half-blood to go home during the school year; she would have to be a year-rounder. Thankfully, she hadn’t gotten too far from camp before she and her mortal family came to the realization. Since then, it was like she had flipped a switch.  Gone was the meek, quiet girl, replaced with someone whose sharp tongue could rival Stan’s and had a strong sense of justice.  After her first birthday at camp, her true personality had only made itself more evident. “The gods like people like her.”

             “So who do you think her mom is?”

             “Hmm.”  Ford looked thoughtfully at Angie.  “Athena, maybe?  She’s certainly smart enough.”

             “Maybe.  What about Demeter?  Her dad’s a farmer.”

             “Or one of the minor goddesses.  She’s certainly competitive enough to be a daughter of Nike,” Ford proposed.

             “Well, if you think you can do it better, then do it, newbie,” Ryan snapped at Angie, shoving his bow and quiver into her hands.  Angie seemed startled for a second, but recovered quickly.

             “It would be my pleasure to show ya how full of shit ya are,” she said cheerfully.  Stan winced.

             “I need to stop swearing around her,” he said softly.

             “Yes, you do,” Ford confirmed.  They watched as Angie marched past the line of targets that had been set up, firing an arrow at each one.  Each arrow hit the bulls-eye dead-on, splitting Ryan’s arrows down the middle, with the exception of the last, which had been slightly off-center. Angie’s arrow aimed true.

             A silence fell once Angie finished her display.  Beaming, she handed Ryan his bow and quiver.

             “There!” she chirped.  Ryan gaped at her.

             “Athena,” Ford said.

             “Or Nike,” Stan said.  “I mean, she wanted to win, so she did.  If that’s not Nike, I don’t- wait.”  A glowing symbol had appeared above Angie’s head.  “Oh, shit,” Stan said with feeling.  Angie looked up.  Her eyes widened.  One of the kids Ryan had been showing off to earlier cackled.

             “Congrats on the new baby sis, Ryan!  I can’t wait to see her kick your ass in everything else you do!”

             Hovering a few inches above Angie’s head were a bow and arrow.

-----

             Stan and Ford stood outside the Apollo cabin, exchanging amused looks. Angie was in her new cabin, unpacking her things.  Very loudly.

             “She’s not being quiet about her displeasure,” Ford commented.  Stan snorted.

             “She’s not quiet about anything, Sixer.”

             “Why is she so unhappy?  Most half-bloods would be thrilled to find out their godly parent.”

             “First off, now she has to bunk with that punk Ryan,” Stan said.  “Second, if her godly parent is a guy, and her mortal parent is a guy…”  Ford’s eyes widened.

             “Do you…think she has a problem with that?” he asked quietly.  Stan shook his head.

             “No.  But it’s gotta be weird.  And she’s definitely gonna get messed with for it.” ��Ford grimaced.

             “That’s a good point.”  Finally, Angie emerged from the golden cabin, rage in her eyes.

             “Go take a walk and maybe you’ll calm down,” she muttered to herself. “No, you take a walk!  I’m perfectly calm!”  She kicked a clump of grass angrily, sending it flying.

             “Hey, uh, maybe you shouldn’t kick or punch things until you’re less angry,” Ford said.  Angie looked over.

             “Why?”

             “Apollo is the god of athletics.  His children tend to be even stronger than the average half-blood.  I don’t want you to break something.  Or someone.”  Angie looked down at the ground.

             “God of athletics,” she said to herself.  She grimaced.  “Ma ‘n Pa always said it was funny how good I was at sports ‘n runnin’ ‘n whatnot, with how nerdy ‘n wimpy the rest of the fam’ly is.”  She covered her face with her hands.  “Ugh!”

             “You all right?” Stan asked, deciding to remain at a safe distance, just in case Angie got the urge to kick something again.

             “No!”  Angie dragged her hands down her face.  “I’m confused!  Pa’s definitely my parent, so- so how-”  At the sound of hoofbeats, she cut herself off.  She, Stan, and Ford looked over.  Chiron had arrived.  He smiled kindly at Angie.

             “I heard you’ve been claimed by Apollo.”

             “Apparently.”

             “I’m not terribly surprised.  I’ve noticed you have tendencies typically seen in his children.”

             “But I don’t understand how, Mr. Chiron,” Angie said.  Stan quickly hid his instinctive grin at Angie’s insistence on referring to the centaur as “Mr. Chiron”.  “My Pa, he’s my mortal parent.  Right?”

             “I actually have some information that will explain the situation.  Would you care to accompany me?” Chiron said politely.

             “Of course, sir.”

             “If you want, Stan and Ford can come as well.”

             “That would be nice.  Thank you, sir.”

             “Angie, my dear, how many times must I tell you that you need not be so respectful and mannered?” Chiron said with a smile.  Angie managed a smile back.

             “Can’t quite help it.  It’s how I was raised.  Sir.”

-----

             Angie, Stan, and Ford sat on the porch of the Big House, waiting for Chiron to begin his explanation.

             “You three are aware of how Athena’s children come to be, correct?” he asked.  The three children nodded.

             “She forms a special intellectual connection with someone and from that connection, a child is born,” Angie answered.  Chiron smiled at her.

             “Correct.”

             “Are you saying that Angie’s a similar situation?” Ford asked.  Chiron nodded.

             “Why, though?” Stan asked.  “None of Apollo’s other kids are like that.”

             “It has to do with Mr. McGucket.”  Chiron looked at Angie.  “I spoke with him on the phone the other day.  He was getting nervous about the fact that you hadn’t been claimed yet, and as such, was willing to give me some information about the day you arrived in Arkansas.”

             “I already know I was in a golden cradle with some sort of letter, saying I was a child of a god,” Angie said dismissively.  Chiron raised an eyebrow.

             “The letter said more than just that.”

             “What?  Why didn’t Pa tell me?”

             “I suspect he has some…complicated feelings about it.”  Chiron cleared his throat.  “Apparently, the letter said Mr. McGucket was able to resist the charms of a Greek god, something which enamored and fascinated said god.  This, combined with the connection the god felt to Mr. McGucket, created immense feelings.  You were born of those feelings, to reward your mortal father.” Angie looked down at her hands, resting in her lap.

             “…I’m a reward?” she said quietly.

             “That’s how many gods tend to view their children with mortals, dear, don’t be upset.”

             “How could Mr. McGucket and Apollo have connected, if they didn’t actually, uh, do anything?” Stan asked.

             “I feel that Angie is better equipped to answer this question than I am,” Chiron said.  Angie furrowed her brow.

             “Pa used to go to bars ‘n play music ‘n sing with strangers,” she said slowly. “Apollo is the god of music.” Chiron nodded.  “Pa’s also the best sharpshooter in the entire county. His shotgun ain’t a bow ‘n arrow, but it requires the same steady hand ‘n good eye.  And…”  Angie’s frown deepened.  “He’s the god of the arts, right?”

             “He is frequently affiliated with the muses, so, in a way, yes.”

             “Pa always wanted to be an artist.  He never got the opportunity to pursue it, since he had to take over the fam’ly farm.  But my auntie told me that when he gets a coupla whiskeys in him, Pa will tell folks ‘bout that old dream.”  Angie looked up.  “Basically, my pa went to a bar ‘n made what he thought was a platonic connection with a stranger over shared interests, but really, that stranger was a Greek god what fell in love with him?”

             “Yes.”

             “I…”  Angie shook her head.  “I guess that should make my Ma happy.  She knew Pa would never cheat, but she still weren’t that happy ‘bout me showin’ up.” Her eyes widened.  “Not to say that she don’t love me, she does.  It’s just that, well, it was weird fer her.”

             “How frequently does something like this occur?” Ford asked.

             “To be honest, Angie’s the first instance I know of,” Chiron said. Angie’s eyes widened further. “Apollo has been known to have children with both men and women, but those children are born as the result of some sort of romance.”

             “Whoa,” Angie whispered.

             “Hang on,” Stan said.  “Did you say that the letter said Mr. McGucket resisted the charms of her godly parent?”  Chiron nodded.  “I didn’t know that was possible.”

             “It is possible to resist a god, though dangerous.  Rarely does it end well for the person ignoring the god’s affection.”

             “Huh.”  Stan looked at Angie.  “Maybe your dad decided he’d let this one go.”

             “I disagree,” Angie muttered.

             “Why?”

             “Well…”  Angie raised an eyebrow.  “I exist.”

[yeenybeanies]

41. “I’m... I’m stuck.”

With Arthur and Devin, perhaps?

send prompts!!

41. “ i’m... i’m stuck. ”

red dead redemption | arthur morgan & devin clarke ( oc ) 

1,381 words

strong language, animal & human death warnings

thanks for sending!!

Fuck.

Fuck! 

Devin jolts awake with a gasp. Everything is blurry and disorienting. They try to stand, but they find themself stumbling, struggling to maintain their balance, and ultimately falling back to their knees.

What happened? Try to remember! they tell themself. 

They were riding with Arthur . . . someone shot at him . . . he shot back . . .–––

“ A-Arthur . . .! ”  they manage to croak, voice hoarse. Still bleary-eyed, Devin tries again to stand and look around. As their vision clears, they focus in on a grey mound––a collapsed horse! Arthur’s horse! Its side rises and falls with each labored breath. Blood oozes from a nasty wound in its ribs.

It’s coming back to them now. There were three bandits. Arthur shot all three of them with deadly speed and accuracy, but not before one of them managed to unload a round into the horse. It fell. Devin was thrown . . ..

“ Arthur! ” they call again.

“ ‘m here, ”  comes the response. A hand rises into view from the other side of the horse, waving weakly. Despite their lingering dizziness, Devin stumbles their way towards the fallen beast. They round its head, its heavy breath rustling their hair and clothes, and find Arthur lying on the ground. He’s alive! The thrill brings them a high unlike any other––only for it to come crashing back down with a terrible realization: Arthur is pinned under his dying horse’s body.

Devin rushes over to the man and plants their hands to his nose. His face is caked with sweat and dirt and a bit of blood.  “ Arthur–– ”  they shake him as best they can,  “ ––are you okay? Talk to me, big man. ” 

The rousing puts a grimace on the man’s features. Behind them, Devin hears his arm moving, his hand approaching. Calloused fingertips brush their shoulders.

“ ‘m alive, ”  he offers with a strained voice. When he does manage to open his eyes, he has to cross them to try and look at Devin.  “ You hurt? Back up a little so I––hnn––I can see ya. ” 

With some reluctance, Devin does as asked. They’re sore, and their head is pounding, but, save for a few cuts and bruises ( and a possible concussion ), they’re uninjured. Still, Arthur studies them for a long moment.

“ I’m fine, ”  they say, feeling a bit awkward and shaken.  " Can you get up? “ 

Arthur looks down at himself, his brows furrowed. It’s now that he realizes that his leg is caught underneath his collapsed horse. He plants his hands on the ground and makes an attempt to pull himself free, prompting a weak whine from the beast.

“ God . . . dammit . . .! ”  Arthur growls, then gives up his attempt and bows his head, panting.  “ . . . no, Miss Devin, I don’t think I can, ”  he says, sounding resigned.  “ I’m . . .I’m stuck. Stuck pretty good. ”

A heavy feeling of dread settles in Devin’s gut. They look from Arthur, to the horse, and then to the road. What the hell are they going to do? They can’t just leave him here. He could die! What an undignified death, trapped under a horse.

“ Wait here, ” Devin says. They rush off towards one of the dead bandits.

“ I don’t have much choi––hey, hold on now––– ”  his snarky retort dies with his own worry at seeing the borrower run out of view. Arthur pushes himself up to sit as best he can, trying to see where they went.  “ Miss Devin! Don’t go getting yourself into trouble now. ” 

They ignore his concern and approach the nearest body. The dead man stares blankly up at the sky, the inside of his chest exposed and still oozing. It’s a nasty sight, but Devin doesn’t dwell on it. They circle the body until they find his bag.

“ Devin? ”  Arthur calls. He sounds worried. It’s sweet that he cares, but Devin has found themself at odds with him when he gets overprotective. They roll their eyes and continue to ignore him. This time, they’re determined to save him. They slip into the bag and set out to find something––anything––that might help.

Nothing.

Frustrated, but not deterred, the borrower exits the bag and moves on to the next bandit.

“ Devin, please––– ” 

“ I’m fine, Arthur, ”  they snap.  “ Let me do this. ” 

The second bandit’s bag is a bit tougher to get into. Devin has to cut a hole into the leather so they can squeeze their way in, and cut a few more so they can see.

There!

After some rummaging around, they spot what they were looking for: horse reviver. With newfound determination, they haul the vial out of the bag and carry it over to the fallen horse. Its breathing is much weaker now, its eyes starting to glaze over. Devin isn’t sure if this will work, but they have to try. They affix the needle to the vial and with a strained grunt, jab it into the horse’s chest.

For a long moment, nothing happens.

Devin feels their heart drop. They feel their dread creeping up. What else can they do? They can’t lift the horse off of Arthur. They can’t return to camp and get help. Will they have to wait around here and hope that someone will come by to help? Should they travel the road and find help? Christ, what if someone snatches them up and doesn’t come to get Arthur. What if–––

The horse neighs, jolting Devin out of their thoughts. They jump out of the way as it starts to move. It’s slow, but it manages to roll itself upright, off of Arthur. It picks itself up off of the ground and stands on wobbly legs. Its breath is raspy, labored.

But Arthur––Arthur is free. The man scoots away from the horse and pushes himself up to his knees. He too is a bit shaky, his leg half asleep and sore from having a one-ton animal lying on it, but he’s up. That’s what matters.

Devin darts between the horse’s hooves towards Arthur, who brings his hands down for them. They practically leap to him and throw their arms around one of his thumbs. With a soft smile, Arthur brings them up to his chest.

“ What’d you do? ” the man asks.

“ Horse reviver, ”  they say.

“ Well, Devin, I do reckon you may very well have just saved my life, ”  he says, his fingers curling lightly around their back.

The borrower doesn’t respond; they just lean their forehead to the pad of his thumb and focus on the fact that Arthur is okay. Or––well, they think he’s okay.  “ Can you stand now? ” 

“ I think so. Hold on. ”  He gathers Devin in one hand and uses the other to push himself up. His leg still hurts, but it isn’t broken, miraculously. He stands up tall, sore, but largely uninjured. His smile only widens.

Any happiness is disrupted, though, with a heavy thud and a dying cry. Arthur’s horse collapses once more into a pool of its own blood.

“ Aw shit, ”  Arthur says with a grimace. He limps closer to the animal and looks over its injuries.

“ You should probably put it down, ”  Devin says, peeking over Arthur’s fingers.  “ It’s not going to make it. ”

Arthur presses his lips together. He takes a knee next to the horse’s head and gently rubs along its neck. It makes a soft, pained noise.  “ Alright, fella. ‘m sorry this happened to you, but it’s gonna be alright. ”  It pains him to have to do this, but he’d rather put the animal out of its misery than leave it to suffer. He stands and pulls one of his pistols from his holster, takes aim, and puts a bullet right into the horse’s skull, just behind the eye.

“ I’m sorry, Arthur . . .. ”  Devin says after a moment of silence. They look up at him, big brown eyes filled with remorse.

“ Me too. But it ain’t your fault. “  He rubs his thumb to their shoulder. He brings his hand to his shoulder where they take their normal post, holding onto his scarf.  “ He was a good horse. I’m gonna miss him. But we’ll see if we can’t catch one of these dead feller’s horses ‘n get home. ” 

“ Please, ”  Devin says with a sigh.  “ I’ve had enough of saving your ass for one day. ” 

Arthur chuckles.  “ Me too. I’ll try not to make a habit out of it. ”

“ I’d appreciate it. ”