#big men small men masc men femme men

[1o1percentmilk]

me when im thinkin thinkibg about mEN

[skylarsblue]

✦C.o.D Call Sign Inspo✦

(I've been having a bad writer's block, but, I do have some mini ideas that I can't flesh out. But, I know some people struggle with names/concepts for Y/N's/Characters. So! I'm giving them out for free in hopes it'll inspire something in someone so they don't go to waste!)

✧Somno; Gender Neutral. A y/n that's main trait is being a hyper insomniac. To the point they always seem tired, constantly consuming caffine, etc. But even if they're falling asleep where they're standing, they have incredibly fast reflexes. Could lead to some funny scenarios of finding them asleep in weird places, or, a cute concept (them only being able to sleep when they feel completely safe; ie: with one of the c.o.d characters)

✧Mama; Feminine. Pretty on the nose, but it could also be translated into a different language to match a country of origin. The concept is basically just...an aggressively maternal lieutenant/captain. Because I feel we don't have enough strong MILF's in this world, let alone in this fandom. This could also be used platonically because 141 specifically could use a mom type. Ghost & Gaz specifically.

✧Saint; Gender Neutral. Can be used for a character that's incredibly self sacrificing. Which would make for good fluff & good angst, plus, I think a lot of us can relate to feeling. Partially inspired by a random line I thought of - "If I die protecting you, that's far less frightening than you being gone when I could've protected you. Dying once for you is a peaceful passing, rather than dying every day you're not with me."

✧Salvadora/Salvador; Fem or Masc. Disclaimer; when I had this idea I imagined a woman. An alternative to the cartel story line in Las Almas. Y/N runs a civilian resistance against the cartel and has commandeered a village to keep citizens safe. It's basically a paradise in the crime ridden city. They've been providing sneaky support for Alejandro's men. (Honestly, this concept is pretty specific, and more detailed, and I might break it down more/write it on my own if possible)

✧Copycat/Mimic; Gender Neutral. A y/n that's incredibly skilled at mimicking voices. Whether in different accents or actual voices.

✧Mirage; Gender Neutral. Disclaimer; I imagined this also as a woman because I like powerful ladies. Similar to the one above but instead of just voices, they're just great at disguises in general & particularly sneaky. Like they "fade out of existence" if you look away at the wrong time.

✧Lynx; Gender Neutral. For a small, deceivingly cute looking character that's actually super deadly and quick. Do not trust the toe beans.

✧Nessie; Gender Neutral-Fem Lean. Pretty self explanatory. A character that's illusive and great in water. Bonus points for Scottish rep.

✧Sparks/Fuse; Gender Neutral. Just a fuckin' pyromaniac that can make their own bombs, super impressive and intricate ones. Thought of a scene where they're all in the heat of battle, low on ammo, and Y/N brings up randomly that they were a troublesome teen who almost had a criminal record. Price asks what the charge was and they just light something that doesn't look at all like a bomb, with a giant grin. "It was arson!!" And then they throw a fuckin' devastating bomb.

✧Iris; Gender Neutral. A character known for a very intense/intimidating stare. Inspired by those clips of people losing to Angelina Joline's femme fatal stare. Also, them being able to read a shocking amount about a person purely through eye contact.

✧Sage/Blister/Morphine/Plaster; Gender Neutral. All names for a potential medic!Y/N. (Plaster, for us Americans, is a word for bandaid in the UK. I know y'all prolly know that but just in case)

✧Bee; Gender Neutral. For a Y/N that's visibly smaller than those around them but packs a real hard punch. Also good if they're particularly good at physical combat. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

✧Sugarcube/Honey/Cupcake; Gender Neutral-Masc Lean. I think the idea of a big buff, visibly masculine, intimidating dude being named something like 'sugarcube' is super funny.

✧Lasso/Big Mac/Stallion; Masculine. Isn't it obvious? Big cowboy man who's aggressively American even if he's actually been a UK citizen for years.

✧Bessie/Cowgirl/Chick; Feminine. Once again, aggressively southern Y/N. But, for fem!y/ns.

✧Tex/Stars/Anthem; Gender Neutral. See above, but this time, neutral. Cause I'm about equality in this bitch.

✧Cobra/Mamba; Gender Neutral. For a y/n that specializes in poisons to kill enemies, as well as a character with any association with snakes. Could be interesting for Ghost to hear.

✧Doll/Dolly; Feminine. A more "spy type" for the classic femme fatal who gets intel through allure. If you've seen my two fic concept posts, this is the call sign I'd give to the Y/N in Price's concept.

✧Tech; Gender Neutral. Pretty basic, a character that's particularly tech-y. Good with computers and hacking.

✧Bunny/Hare; Gender Neutral. For a y/n that's small, but super fast & alert. Bonus if they got Hinata jumping powers.

✧Clover/Shamrock; Gender Neutral. Irish rep. Use this for a Y/N that is somehow the luckiest unlucky person ever. Constantly ending up in situations that are stressful/intense but making it out with barely a scratch. Can add some dissonance if they actually hate this call sign because it's not luck that gets them out of these situations, and instead is there skill.

[grungegobbler]

ngl i think half of the infighting between transmisogyny and transandrophobia is just….the name “transandrophobia”. Having a word like that invokes a feeling of systemic misandry and male oppression. But the patriarchy benefits men and women are the ones who get most of the fallback from that, therefore a term like that MUST be bullshit.

Transmisogyny is about the intersection of transphobia and misogyny but, transandrophobia is just about trans mens unique experiences. Its less systemic than transmisogyny. A lot of the discourse ive seen is a misunderstanding that transandrophobia is about systemic misandry and not trans mascs being infantilized, talked down too, fetishized, and denied medical care in TERF spaces. While also experiencing hatred in queer spaces.

Trans femmes are seen as evil beings seducing children by not just TERFS, but also by the general public. This has created a truly hard existence for them. Trans mascs, on the other hand, are seen as poor sweet summer children who cannot be allowed autonomy. We are hopeless victims who cannot speak for ourselves. Cannot advocate. Cannot have a voice. This idea has, sadly, bleed into trans spaces. Even in trans spaces, transmascs are seen as small UwU cinnamon roll children who cannot talk about our personal experiences with the OTHER trans people. We need to sit at the little kids table playing with legos and lifting weights, while we are talked over.

Thats why transandrophobia, the parts that are about misandry, focus on it being within the queer community and not within society as a whole. Many queer people hate men for being, well, men. And they take this out on the transmascs who DARED betray them with masculinity. Transmascs loose support when they transition. We go from UwU little baby soft boys named Arlo, to a big scary man who will destroy the community at the first chance he gets. For transmascs, there is no in between. We lack spaces and support from our fellow trans people because their trauma views masculinity as dangerous.

In the queer community, femininity is a celebration of self expression. Its seen as a celebration in almost every queer group. Camp, glitter, dresses, makeup. Breaking gender roles is what is not just celebrated, but expected. To be a binary transmasc in the queer community is seen as doing queerness “wrong”. Trans men are pressured to be feminine and, if we arnt, we are seen as dangerous and less queer than our trans femme counterparts.

Transandrophobia is a disleading term for many because it isn’t something “akin” to the systemic oppression of transfemms; its the infantilization we experience from TERFs mixed with the dislike and distrust from other queer people. If anything, its more about our experiences in trans/queer spaces. It definitely shouldnt take away from the experiences and harassment of transfemmes, who definitely have it worse outside of the community. But i also think its not fair for people to immediately go “WELL, thats not real because misandry isnt real”, when we actively experience misandry in our own community. We both have different experiences about different lives and those two things can exist together. In a perfect world we would advicate for both transmisogyny and transandrophobia.

[a-libra-writes]

Hello....can you write a romantic headcanon for Dominic from Lackadaisy?(⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

yesss. we dont have a lot of appearances from Mister Drago in the comic buuuut i feel we get a good idea of his personality! Still, a lot of this just ideas and extrapolations of mine.

GN reader primarily, with some specific femme and masc options.

A few Femme HCs~

Dominic's a classic gentleman - wanting to have your arm in his, opening doors and moving chairs for you, even helping you over puddles (though that one is more to tease you). He's smooth about it all, not expecting a big fanfare or thanks. It's just what he was raised to do for ladies.

You have absolutely met his parents down in Texas, and they just adore you. They're often calling to check in, asking you to make Dom call or write more, and roping you into holiday plans. I like to think they own a nice ranch outside Austin, and have a townhouse in the city proper.

If you two are married, he has a lovely framed photograph of you in your wedding dress. He keeps the larger portrait on his nightstand, and a smaller one on his desk at work. He secretly likes it when the other agents notice and comment on what a lucky fella he is.

A few Masc HCs~

Unlike most men who approach you with an understanding, Dominic has a charm and a quiet confidence. There's little to no insecurity; he's clearly comfortable in who he is. With a masc partner he's much less "chivalrous" - i.e. he doesn't treat them like some high society lady - instead showing his affection through caring gestures and being a little protective.

Though he may not look it, Dom is aware of the underground queer club scenes and their lingo. He's humorously out of place there, dressed sharp and relaxing off in a corner rather than drinking or dancing. Because of his job, he has to be very careful about which establishments he chooses - so rather than full-blown speakeasies, they're theater houses and little local bohemian retreats where wine is the strongest drink. It's still not totally his scene, but he can relax around the people and not feel so guarded. He'll also do his best to redirect police raids away from these little establishments, especially if you and your friends frequent one of them.

There's a good chance he still has the wife and kids back home, and while he does care for them at a distance, its his job that gets most of his time - and by the time you come around, well. They're lucky to get what few calls and letters they do. It's also likely he never married to begin with, though his parents won't stop hounding him about it.

Unbeknownst to you, Dom keeps a candid photo of you that one of your friends gave him. It's tucked away in his nightstand and he likes to say goodnight to it; a sentimental little ritual he wouldn't easily admit to.

General ones!

A more level-headed person, probably about his age or just a little younger, is who he'll vibe with best. I can see him being appreciative of a more creative spirit, and while he'll greatly admire someone dedicated to their career -- well, two workaholics means you both will barely see each other. A partner whose connected to crime is a no-go - closest he might get is a musician or singer for a club.

Getting a date night can be tough! Dom is a bit married to his work, which he's aware of. Starting a relationship troubles him only because he worries he won't be present enough. He'll bring papers home and often works late, but this means when there's a date, he goes out of his way to be attentive and do things you'd like.

Also, he appreciates the small things! A cup of tea in the evening, saving some dinner for him, having coffee ready in the morning, dropping off lunch at his work, and so on. He thanks you every time. He's also very soft for you lighting his pipe and sharing a smoke outside (or just chatting beside him if you don't smoke yourself).

You never have to guess his feelings, because Dom is honest with them. There's the 'I love you', sure, but there's also all the appreciation and praise and compliments, always said in that steady, deep voice of his. It can get flustering if you aren't used to it! He'll really lean into the southern accent if you like it, too. But that's just between you two.

(Also, the accent comes out when he's still sleepy, especially before coffee.)

Honestly, it's a crime how smooth he is. When you first started to know him, you weren't sure if he was aware of it - but oh, you're sure now. He looks you in the eyes, whispers to you, gives kisses that are confident and touches that are firm but never hard. It's actually unfair, the man is way too good at figuring out what gets you heated the fastest. He's actually worse about the teasing and touches if you're easily embarrassed, but he'll never go over a boundary you set, and he's more careful in public.

You can get him back if the date is at the theater or the movies - because it's dark, and he's usually overworked, it's not uncommon for Dom to drift off even if there's an opera tenor on stage or a woman screaming in the picture show. He feels so awful for it! But now it's your turn to tease him.

Dom loves it when you wear the nice things he bought you, or use the practical things. He's obviously pleased when he notices. Dom is excellent at giving gifts, as he observes the things you admire and things you already wear or own, and goes off that. He doesn't need a special occasion, either - something in a shop window catches his attention and he steps right in to buy it. He's a practical man himself, buuut he likes both good-quality things and spoiling you.

If he's pulling long hours on a big case, he tries to tell you ahead of time. Dominic doesn't like having to do that; he doesn't want you feeling disappointed or lonely - and though he won't show it, sometimes the loneliness gets at him, too. If you're more femme presenting, he likes to have a photograph or ribbon of your's in his pocket, something to lift his spirits when he's burning midnight oil. If you're masc, he actually likes to wear your cufflinks or one of your ties.

On that note, if you two are the same clothing size - a bit of a rarity for him - Dom absolutely likes to "accidentally" take your shirts and wear them instead. He waits to see how long it takes for you to notice, because he always has them cleaned and put back nicely afterward. It's a surprisingly playful side of him, but honestly ... if you're smaller, he likes you wearing his shirts too, and little else. It's something he's not embarrassed to say.

Overall he's a wonderfully considerate and reliable partner - you just have to know his work often comes first, especially once he starts investigating in St. Louis.

[mysticfemme]

What sorts of things do you do to look after your dom or your butch? You talk a lot about what they can do for you but was curious to know what ways you show affection/care as a sub or a femme?

Okay there are so many things, one of my love languages is just doing things for my partner so I'll write a few here! (also side note, I only date masc people so this will be about them in general)

Make them a pot of tea (especially if it's cramps, I now have my own tea blend that's good for it)

Run them a bath, if they've got sore muscles get the bubble bath specifically for that and then massage their shoulders for them

Cook/order their favourite food. Even if you're not a 5* chef, it's the thought that counts.

Be the big spoon (or attempt to be, when you're small like I am you tend to feel more like a backpack than a big spoon)

Set up a film day, buy their favourite snacks, drinks and get a bunch of blankets

Do the chores they don't like doing or struggle with. Don't like cleaning the bathroom? You do the kitchen, I'll handle that.

One of my favourites is offering to do their makeup to help them feel more masculine! E.g. thickening their eyebrows, darkening certain areas to give the effect of a moustache or something similar.

Go shopping with them, it can be really scary going into the men's section (especially buying boxers!) but stand with them and help them find clothes to try on to make them feel more affirmed.

These are just a few examples of course, but thanks for the ask!

[fite-club]

do you have any thoughts on the idea that queer spaces reject masculine gender presentation once a trans man transitions? a lot of arguments for transandrophobia seem to center on the idea that trans men (or, in a broader league, queer men in general) get rejected by queer spaces by virtue of becoming more masculine. these arguments have always bothered me a lot because i find the idea that queer spaces somehow value gnc people above masculine men and feminine women ludicrous—except for a very, very small niche of gay people, there is no such thing as a serious need for more masculine men. it’s always stricken me as a need to be included even in events specific to gender nonconforming people, but i’m curious to know if there is an actual ostracization of masculinity in the queer community at large that i have simply not experienced

for context, i live in a big city in the global south with a bustling ballroom/gay nightlife scene, which is where most of my experience comes from. a lot of the gay people i have met in my life have been mostly masculine-presenting gay men, and from where i stood, it never seemed to me that any of these people were at a disadvantage in comparison to their gnc peers. the only time i have ever seen masculinity get mildly disregarded was during ballroom competitions, where the contestants are mostly transfemme, although i have seen a good number of men trans and cis alike compete (and win!) in masc categories as well

it’s never been something i personally experienced, and i don’t think i know anyone else who has either. maybe it was the specific experience of some individuals, but i really don’t think it can be broadly applied to the lgbt community as a whole. i wonder if there’s any actual exclusion going on or if it’s just a perceived judgement that isn’t actually there? i can believe that transphobic cis people would act weird around transitioned trans men, but i have a really hard time believing that they’re disproportionately weird around trans men and not trans women.

there used to be this sentiment that the gay community was misogynistic and macho, that femmes and faggy bottoms were disrespected and shunned by the masc-for-masc cis gays. that was never really true either, but it’s been more accurate to my real life experiences in queer spaces than the opposite.

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

The prevalence of male character feminization is really high in the ST fandom and I’m not sure how to feel about it. It can’t just be the hanky thing (that costume designer has no idea what they’ve unleashed!) and I understand that it’s a kink and I’m not going to shame that. But as you say, it seeps into lots of fics where it’s like people think that’s how a bottom acts.

I wondered if it was the huge influx of tik tok teens that came with S4, who might (MIGHT) be eager to just run with their own thoughts rather than following canon? I mean, a small but significant proportion of Steddie fans readily admit haven’t even watched previous seasons. A couple of authors have even said they hadn’t watched the show at all, and only know it from tik tok. Now, they’re allowed to be in the fandom. All are welcome. It’s just an interesting phenomenon. It would explain some of the poor grammar in some fics. I’m not talking all fics/all young authors, some of them are brilliant. But with dialogue, some seem to think you put a period wherever a comma would normally go, and that’s something I’ve never seen in any other fandom. And then there’s your/your, the past tense of to lie/to lay, peek/peak/pique, queue/cue, bear/bare…I could go on for ages.

But that’s beside the point. Back to feminization: another consideration is the fact that many authors write their favorite characters as a self insert of sorts. Not just fanfic authors, either: Stephen King does it all the time, and other authors too. So that means some (again, not all) female authors will write Steve (it’s usually Steve, let’s be honest here) that way because they want him to be loved the way they want to be loved, whether that involves kink or not.

I’m not a fan of it, personally. I like Steve how he is in canon, and a lot of traditionally ‘feminine’ tropes don’t fit him. When he’s written as a coy or coquettish, or someone who cries all the time, for example, it’s not to my taste. Kinda throws me out of the story, tbh. But it clearly is appealing to lots of other people.

That’s not to say that Steve doesn’t have some ‘female’ traits. I find the babygirl Steve meme as funny as anyone else, and of course he has been given the reluctant babysitter role. In S3 he was so prettily styled it was crazy, and he was the one receiving creepy facial caresses from the Russian general when any other show would have had that happen to Robin. But he can be written as he is in canon - that same pretty boy who’s also a jock, who can take a punch like a champ, is an adorable doofus and a recklessly courageous protector - and still be a bottom.

I also have no idea where it really comes from. However, the feminization for the purpose of making one character in a mlm gay relationship 'the man' of the relationship and the other 'the woman' of the relationship is a widespread issue across most fandom spaces tbh, and I know that everytime it comes up its just cycled discourse that's been talked to death - but the fact of the matter is that gay men in fandom spaces have repeatedly told us that it's harmful. There is a tasteful way to have Steve (or Eddie or whoever) explore a more feme gender expression, but it becomes very clear in fic when the feminization is being used as a way to fit a gay relationship into heteronormative gender-roles and/or fetishize the pairing. It is all very "so who wears the pants in this relationship?" imo - which really sucks. A metalhead nerd and a prom king jock can be in a relationship with each other without having to sacrifice the masculine aspects of their personalities. It is so rare in gay relationships for one person to always be the bottom or always be the top and sometimes the top is the tiny femme one and the bottom is the big masculine one. And sometimes neither has any particularly femme qualities and sometimes neither have any particularly masc qualities.

Also, on another barely related note - what is with people exaggerating their heights to fit this idea, one of the first indicators I have for "this fic might not be for me" is if one of them is suddenly towering over the other despite the fact that Joe Keery/Steve is just barely an inch taller than Joe Quinn/Eddie?? Idk if that's just a personal preference thing, and I don't always hate it but it's another thing that I feel sometimes gets used to enforce het-gender roles.

IDK if my points came across all that clearly, but the issue isn't necessarily "Stop Babygirl-ifying Steve" so much as it is "Stop Babygirl-ifying Steve in a way that's fetishizing gay men" and that can get kind of lost in the discourse I think - imo it's pretty easy to pick out when it's done well and when it's done harmfully and everyone can read what they want to but I personally am going to try and stay away from the latter.

[mantheguillotine]

Don’t know where else to put this so guess I’ll put it here. I’ve been out as non-binary for a few years now and within that i have always identified as gender fluid. But since I’ve found myself a supportive queer community and participate less in hetero spaces I’ve felt less inclined towards feminine gender expression.

I have identified as bisexual since middle school and now I’m having a small crisis of how much of my femininity was ever for myself and how much of it was just out of service to the straight male gaze. Or how much of my relationship with my femininity has been sullied by my traumatic experiences dating cis men.

When embracing my femininity in the past I felt powerful, but more like an object. It does make me feel hot and interesting and fashionable. But in the last year or so dressing femme in public has given me major anxiety, like I’m performing against my will and nervous about the type of attention I might receive. When I dress femme everyone just sees and treats me as a feminine woman. I enjoy going hyper femme and looking almost more like a cartoon, but that still feels uncomfortable because it garners a lot of attention and I’m not dressing that way for attention I’m dressing that way for me. And when I dress moderately feminine to masc people just assume I’m a lesbian. But like even my queer friends don’t recognize me when I’m femme because I wear wigs to affirm my gender and they aren’t used to seeing me that way. And not being recognized by my own community because I’m not always visibly queer just hurts.

I know we aren’t supposed to let what other people think of us have such an influence on how we express ourselves but it can be so frustrating feeling like my identity is too big and can never be fully represented at one time. I guess I’m just feeling confused and tired of trying to figure it out. Sometimes I envy binary trans folks because they can work towards some final goal where I fear I’ll be in eternal gender limbo. I was so confident in my identity for a while and now it all seems to be in flux again.

Anyway… If anyone can relate in any way I’d be glad to hear your experiences… might help take the edge off of feeling so weird and alone.

[theres-ideas-in-that-nebula]

Shoutout to transmascs, masc women, enbies, and cis men who are too small to fit comfortably or stylishly into most men’s sizes (and may simultaneously be too big to fit into boys’ sizes)

And shoutout to transfemmes, femme men, enbies, and cis women who are too big to comfortably or stylishly fit into most women’s’ sizes.

I see you. I hear you. I am one of you.

Sincerely,

a slightly-built masc person with hands and feet smaller than some eight-year-olds’

[thouartachoochootrain]

Love being gay, men are so Great! Like wow, that’s all men. You got your femmes and mascs, hairy and smooth and in between. Big and round small and sharp and every combo of the sort. Guy dick and guy pussy 100000000/10.

Sexuality isn’t a choice because if it was I would become bisexual so I could also thirst after women the same.

[firespirited]

Today's ramblings

Watched The Wheel 2021 ($3 to rent on amazon) featuring Amber Midhunter. It's best to go in knowing that it's a slow burn personal drama. The music choices and editing took away slightly from the story. I thought there was a plot point about a txt message I couldn't read (not being able to make out phone and computer messages in media is a pet peeve) but I went back after finishing the film and it wasn't really that important.

The film is mostly carried by the luminous acting. These people feel very real despite the cliché setups.

I found it touching. The hedgehog problem but hurt adults.

Watched some YouTube and got annoyed because folks could have made a 10 minute video that said it better than 100 mins but I guess youtube doesn't reward 10 minutes like it used to. I'll happily watch your three hour video if there's three hours of subject matter. But really no need to dance around the point just doing filler. It's painful.

Then I ended up on a channel with some great social analysis that segued into some "very close to getting it but also so far from getting it" christian content. I hope to see her in five years having broken off from her church and/or founded or joined one that's inclusive, egalitarian, decolonized with tithes going to direct social action. She has all the systemic analysis tools she needs and one big blindspot. But I had to nope out and not engage, I don't think she's ready to hear from any exians, not yet.

Tw: covid, I had a sudden realisation that if tweens and teens weren't carriers during the pandemic, we would have put them to work. Emergency anti child labour law exemptions would have been passed.

Tw: transphobia and terfs. A woman who used to read or watch every interview with JK Rowling out of fascination wrote a small essay in a comment section where she dissects what she understands of Joanne's complex relationship to gender. A father who wanted a son and made her wear blue, being a tomboy and rejecting feminity for approval. Feeling fragile when she got trapped in an abusive marriage. The books, written from the point of a boy then a man under a male pen name. Massive areas of unexamined internalised misogyny and gender resentment. She said herself she thought changing gender could have been a way to that better life with more respect. Except she never sat with that thought and followed through to find out if she actually wants to be a woman (I realised i'd be dysphoric as a boy then later as a man when I revisited the concept) or wouldn't mind the change if it wasn't socially costly. It'd been the first time i'd seen someone who had studied her as a personal hero do a full read on where her trans masc issues come from. Her trans femme issues come from feeling powerless and hurt by men this is something the Gender Essential cults are experts at exploiting by presenting trans feminity as a flavour of male entitlement (which is wild when you consider even most drag queens won't go out in drag unless it's for an event because it's dangerous and also a performance). Jk's flavour of trans phobia tends to skew anti masc because that's her real fear: she already spent time "as a man" when she published the Strike books, I think she quite probably hasn't mulled it over at all: i imagine she thinks men don't love their children in the way women do so there's that 'contradiction' in the way. Maybe someday she'll have a breakthrough in therapy. She's got a window of about 5 years to change before mainstream society has moved passed this reactionary blip and she's regarded by even centrists and center right as a nutjob. After that any change of heart will be seen as phony.

I have good days and bad days in the depresh and some flip half way through. We're wading into deeper water. I can feel other mutuals in the same terrible headspace. I don't want to make things worse or put a thought out there that is like an ear worm for the blues. My default used to be hermit mode who emerges with nice happy clappy mood once a day to not hurt anyone through contagious sads or neglect.

Finding the right balance is hard.

[blaringloudandproud]

I showed my friend @gaym83 who knows nothing about AEW or wrestling pictures of AEW wrestlers and these are his thoughts

Tony Khan-“Nervous gay office worker”

Kenny Omega-“He looks like a movie director from marvel but also an actor in a marvel movie”

Cody Rhodes-“gay (homophobic)”

Sammy Guevara-“gay (homophobic) 2. Alternatively, masc Adam Lambert”

Penta El Zero M-“Joker if he was unhinged in a way that’s to the right of the way he’s currently unhinged if that makes sense”

Adam Page-“Country himbo in the best way”

Tay Conti-“Lesbian?”

The Young Bucks-“Gay Geminis”

FTR-“Gay geminis 2:electeic boogaloo”

Jungle Boy-“Pansexual recently turned werewolf”

Luchasaurus-“Sea man”

The Acclaimed-“DJs at a rave nightclub”

MJF-“Scottish Henry”

Chuck and Trent-“Gay tiktok couple”

Matt Hardy-“Severely bigoted evangelist pastor in a covid central mega church. Just some really bad vibes here.”

Miro-“Mood,I think”

Orange Cassidy-“Someone you’d see in a Ford truck commercial”

Darby Allin-“Actor at a haunted attraction”

Chris Jericho-“Isn’t that Brent Buckle?”

Jon Moxley-“*sends shocked pikachu meme*•

Eddie Kingston-“Disappointed dad”

Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford-“Gay twins (non Gemini form)”

Sting-“Dracula if he was in KISS”

Proud n Powerful-“Table cat meme”

Frankie Kazarian-“John Barrowman????????”

Christian Cage-“Spider man villain”

Nyla Rose-“Character in a 90’s witchy movie”

Jake Hager-“Real estate agent named Ryan”

Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky-“Sam and Bucky in a different universe”

Brian Cage-“The type of guy that people think is just a brooding asshole but is secretly a big softie that loves small animals”

Powerhouse Hobbs-“Actor in 80s sci fi movie”

Marko Stunt-“Straight guy that went to warped tour with his gay best friend”

Wardlow-“Aquaman”

PAC-“Aquaman turned villain”

Lance Archer-“Biker with some vibes I can’t place”

Michael Nakazawa-“Cool dad”

Shawn Spears-“Reaction photo energy”

The Dark Order-“People i want to be friends with”

Private Party-“90s movie characters”

Christopher Daniels-“Former marvel character”

Dustin Rhodes-“What’s that skeleton n@$i guy from the first captain America? Cause that’s what I think of when I see this guy. I feel kinda bad saying that but like”

Abadon the Monster-“Goth tiktoker”

Kris Statlander-“Poison Ivy as a wrestler”

Rey Fenix-“Trans posion ivy as a wrestler”

Joey Janela-“Another DJ at a rave nightclub”

QT Marshall-“Owner of an Italian-American restaurant”

Varsity Blondes-“gay best friend duo”

Aaron Solow-“Chill college professor, Probably teaches in the humanities department”

Nick Comoroto-“Rob Zombie stunt double”

Riho-“Chill bisexual”

Brandon Cutler-“Marvel villain”

Sereena Deeb-“Cool lesbian that used to be married to a man”

Leva Bates-“Chill youth group leader that aggressively validates your gender and sexuality and gets mad when people are transphobic/homophobic to you”

Matt Sydal-“Super chill lgbtq+ ally”

TH2-“Twenty One Pilots from another universe”

Andrade El Idolo-“Gay capitalist son of some greedy ceo”

Sonny Kiss-“Femme twink”

Jade Cargill-“Instagram influencer”

Britt Baker-“Bisexual icon”

Hikaru Shida-“Bisexual again”

Anthony Ogogo-“Superhero actor”

Layla Hirsch-“Cool lesbian that defends her trans best friend”

Red Velvet-“Cool mom”

Rebel-“She looks like she’d sic her severely homophobic boyfriend or male family member on me”

The Butcher and the Blade-“Gay leather dads”

The Bunny-“Jenna Marbles turned goth”

Bear Country-“Chaotic best friends hanging out”

Chaos Project-“Unhinged gay anarchists”

Big Swole-“She looks like a super fun person to be friends with”

The Gunn Club-“My three braincells”

The Wingmen-“friend group of gay men”

Fuego del sol-“Idk why but I immediately thought of barnacle boy from spongebob”

Paul Wight and Mark Henry-“Need anchors on the same news thing that have a close friendship”

Ref Aubrey-“Either a lesbian or a severely homophobic evangelist” *i tell him shes bi* “Good for her!”

AEW broadcast team-“Podcasters”

Justin Roberts-“Why do so many of these people look like homophobic evangelist pastors?”

Taz-“Former homophobe that turned into a very enthusiastic ally after his daughter came out”

Vicki Guerrero-“Chill lesbian mom on a 2000s Disney show”

Jake “the Snake” Roberts-“He’d call me a slur on the street”

Don Callis-“Now this guy looks like he’d give me a conversion therapy pamphlet”

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

some (not new) ideas I’m throwing at the wall vis-a-vis gender and star trek (esp in ds9)

Note: We’re eeeeever so slowly moving into times in which “transgender” - as useful a phrase as it is - isn’t the catch-all it’s been for the past 15 or so years, mainly with an understanding that gender is an infinite, fascinating playground that is affected by culture and time. I’m partially using transgender/trans here, and partially terms like nb, genderqueer, femme, and masc as well as “gender transgressive” which is useful to describe, well... transgressive gender.

However I wish I could jump into the future to see what terminology exists then...

I do think there’s something interesting in certain transphobic media, esp the kind that deals with crossdressing-for-laughs (vs drag, which is ofc community-based), because even though it’s usually done mockingly by cisgender heterosexual guys, it reveals how undeniably queer certain ideas are, even if that queering is done in a punch-down sort of way

surprise, this is about Profit and Lace, specifically in how it introduces the idea of transgressive gender in Quark and in Rom, accidentally building off Pel’s story in Rules of Acquisition.

surface story is yeah: Quark makes an ugly woman, with a dose of misogynistic haha women and their hormones amirite (and that opening *shudders*), but what is fascinating is how easily Quark is able to access what we’d today call gender affirming surgery in a future where you can be altered to look like all kinds of different species. 

all this handwringing about regret and “staying in your gender” (which isn’t how it woooorks for a lot of us) and not allowing consent over our own bodies and the patronizing, ahistorical, unscientific, slew of unwanted commentary from everyone and their mums, it’s just... not there. they know Quark is going to reverse the surgery the second the jig is up and Julian still just does it, because sure, got a moment to spare.

you wanna have boobs? yeah, go on. you wanna have boobs and still be considered a man? uh-huh, that’s cool - wow, Rom makes a wonderful “woman,” don’t you think? (and Leeta’s.. kind of in support of that!) 

I’ve argued a fair few times that Rom is trans/nb/femme/genderqueer by Ferengi standards (that is, gender is measured by business-sense/lobes and is its own kind of binary -- also on that note... their mother is trans/nb/genderqueer by that measurement too). It’s a really fascinating overlap between financial class and gender as a caste system (which affects both Ishka and Rom in different ways), which also exists on earth irl today, even though that intersectionality doesn’t  get discussed enough outside of queer circles.

I think Quark fits that standard as well, but he’s fighting it a lot harder than Rom is. The central tension of Quark’s series long arc is his attempts to be A Good Ferengi Male and failing over and over and when he occasionally succeeds, how he doesn’t often feel good about that. He blames a lot of this on the Federation, but by all accounts it was in him to begin with, although he used to be able to cover it up more easily.

Quark desperately wants to get it right, but a lot of the time he’s clearly masking. Sometimes he really enjoys it though, it’s not like with Rom where he has no sense for business, so much as it takes effort.

meanwhile Pel (whom I HC as masc) doesn’t have access to the kinds of surgeries that are so easy to get in the Federation, which puts her in danger - much like not having access puts us in danger today. I'm sort of torn on the headcanon that she either gets her lobes enlarged via the same surgical procedure (which, again, is so no big deal in the future) or because she’s in the gamma quadrant, she’s able to reimagine gender without having to change herself physically - which many trans/nb/genderqueer or otherwise gendered/non-gendered people also don’t want to do.

I also think it’s interesting that Quark-as-a-woman who is dressed in clothes (gasp) is fetishized, because she’s oh so transgressive -- exactly what happens to us today and one reason why so many trans people end up in sex work (of any kind - here’s me adding: get that money however you can and want to, siblings, much love and support). 

I bet there are underground sexual “deviancy” shops that sell fake lobes to imagine your female is actually the man of the house, or even lobe-enhancement that some females take to “pass” although they were actually designed for helping out your small-lobed son “perform business better”

(all of my talk of lobes: here’s the reminder that lobes in Ferengi culture are sexual characteristics)

bottom line, the tension between cisgender (heterosexual) people trying desperately to maintain a binary system of understanding gender and how they play in genderqueer sandpits is always interesting for me to watch. 

on the one hand they’ll argue there are innate social behaviours that exist in women (and they exist across species) - the way Quark has to learn to walk for example, or even - interestingly - that when Ishka starts dressing, her style is very different from men’s dress (maybe inspired by an older version of Ferengi culture where females weren’t so oppressed? - Ishka as transfemme? She could notice that she and Rom have the same likes and she buys him - gasp buys with her own money!! - a lovely dress and one of those massive lobe-earring/necklace things (lobe-lace?), so they match) - and innate social behaviours that exist in men

on the other hand they will unknowingly present a future in which the distinctions between woman and man are so immaterial that you can access any kind of physical surgery you want - in the Federation that is, and differently defined throughout different species on different planets. I always liked the idea that the further away from the “paradise” of earth you get, the more diverse the gender distinctions become but in a lot of these places they also practise rigid systems, like on Ferenginar. I can imagine some majority-human planet worshipping the old ways of the 20th century and enforcing that colonialist gender binary, urgh, can you imagine....

You wonder what things like “assigned gender and sex at birth” might mean in a future where there’s no social capital involved in assigning those kinds of things, if anything.

 And so, Profit and Lace is -- still not a good episode. I remember one of the DS9 writers talking about how unexpectedly well it’s aged and it absolutely has not. It’s misogynistic and transphobic, but I think also very important in the canon of Star Trek’s accidental gender-exploration (Star Trek’s accidental gender-exploration sounds like the title of an article....)

sometimes you find the best gold nuggets in the trash.

and on that note: time to spin the wheel and headcanon that O’Brien was (using today’s terminology) assigned female at birth and decided he liked the sound of being a boy when he was thirteen (his parents like: “for your birthday we got you gender reassignment! and you can always change your mind.”)

also I wrote it above, but Rom and Ishka wearing matching outfits and it being equally shocking is *chefs kiss* (esp with Rom as Nagus)

[archersartcorner]

Your past two Vulpes posts have been amazing as alway! His cup size is bigger than most men and he seems embarrassed by it in front of Caesar. What’s the story there? I love your varied body shapes. 🤍

OOOOOOJDJDUDU THANK YOU!!!

The explanation’s a bit rough, so deffo big ‼️‼️TW‼️‼️ for discussions of transphobia!! Gonna put it under a read more 😬

My personal hc is Vulpes is a trans & gay dude. He socially transitioned at a very young age, his tribe was very accepting, there weren’t any hiccups there!

Due to that, by the time the Legion came, Vulpes (who obvs wasn’t “Vulpes” at the time) was already reading wholly as a boy, so he was recruited as any other young boy would be. He picks up very quickly how cis women/AFAB people in general are treated by the Legion, reduced to a base functionality, so Vulpes goes to great measures to keep himself closeted. I imagine he’s like, 7 or 8 at the time, like it’s something he shouldn’t have to be worrying about at his age but the Legion forces him to be just terrified about the idea of being “discovered.”

As time passes, he internalizes a lot of shame regarding his body. He wants to be able to dedicate himself completely to Caesar, has fully drunk from the Legion Well, and comes to think that somehow HE has done something wrong by being trans, but it’s too late at this point, and the fear of what would happen to him if he came out to Caesar is what continues to keep him quiet. Best case scenario, in his mind, is he’d be given a swift and painless death for his loyalty to that point. Worst case scenario… he gets nauseous thinking about it. So he doesn’t. He stays quiet and submissive and loyal.

And then we arrive at the picture, which is just point blank: Vulpes is like, changing or smth, bathing maybe, and Caesar finally finds out about what he’d been “hiding.” I don’t wanna depict it as like. Mulan-esque I suppose? In that Vulpes is hiding being a “woman,” because he’s not, he’s a trans guy. It’s more so… he’s hiding what Caesar and Legion rhetoric determines to be a “womans” body, a body for reproduction and little else. That Good Fun (/s) intersection between transphobia and misogyny, the trans masc variant rather than the trans femme (which also sucks!!)

I kinda left it open ended on purpose. The results really depend on how one interprets Caesar’s character - would he value Vulpes for the loyalty and dedication he has shown thus far, and as such, choose to keep quiet about his situation? In that scenario, would he be quiet out of a small place of goodness & fondness for Vulpes, or would he actively use it as a form of blackmail against Vulpes to keep him in line? Would Caesar have him punished, crucified, tortured and openly humiliated? Would Caesar give him a swift and painless death, and let Vulpes pass on while still holding a place of honor in the Legion?

Much to think about. I’m a trans dude myself, and while I do enjoy fiction about trans joy and euphoria, there’s also a specific pull for me regarding the exploration of the despair and trauma that can come from being trans (specifically in a society where transness is greatly looked down upon). And I chose to explore that through Vulpes because. I’m an insane person LMAO

[virtue-boy]

Come on guys.

There is definitely something to be said about the exclusion of lesbians and queer women, trans and cis, in the LGBT community, absolutely, but "masculinity vs feminity" is really not a grounded critique of anything irl.

1) glitter is associated with the LGBT community because of glitter bombing, which was used to target politicians who oppressed all queer people. It stems from literal political actions taken to advance our community.

Glitter was also an easy visual distinction from the straight world of suits and housewife dresses. It represented underground club and bar culture that gays and lesbians and trans masc and transfems were a part of that the modern gay rights movement emerged from. There are two lesbian bars in my town that use glitter and or pink in their branding and are very popular with lesbians and queer women, including butches.

Glitter also has long associations with glam and 1st wave punk rock, which has long associations with queer women, especially queer femmes and androgynes.

Also most queer services aren't pink and glittery? They use white and black, and often purple, orange, blue or yellow for social services and health services are often just neutral colours or have a little rainbow.

2) do you actually think that all trans women and all gay men are hyper feminine and wear pink all the time? Do you have any irl contact with the LGBT community? Not hating if you don't, but like, you can't make grand pronouncements about the culture and services if it's all from online theorizing. Gay men are mostly plain dressing and in the masculine side of the spectrum. Higher levels of grooming and styling is much more representitive of gay male expression than femininity is. And like every single gay village has a bar dedicated to butch male culture. And like, there is often an emphasis on services for trans women because trans women are excluded from women's shelters, experience a higher wage gap than any other group in the LGBT community and are subject to more violence, criminalization, survival sex, and are kept in men's prisons of they fall through the cracks, where violence is astromonical! If you think this is privilege I really don't know what to say to you.

But also, the vast majority of trans services are for trans men and women, I've never had issues being a trans men using trans services, and I've never had issues as a trans man accessing queer men's services either.

3) I am a very masculine trans man who has been masculine my whole life. I do manual labour for a living. I grew up in a small town and would drive into the city and attend trans youth groups in high school. In these youth groups, 80% of the people there were transmascs. I've moved to a bigger city and see events with trans guys and cis lesbians as the predominant audience all the time. I literally never once thought I was oppressed or expected to be feminine to be a part of the trans community? A lot of trans girls I know are butcher than me. I never once was like, oh I need to be more feminine to be welcome at this LGBT social service or something. Maybe you just need to be more comfortable with being around the femininity in your community?

-----

The irl lgbt community has a big issue with privileging men over women, and most institutional spaces are for cis gay men. That said, this is also in part to lesbians, queer women and trans mascs historically being very embedded in the women's movement and those institutional spaces - often to the exclusion of trans women, who turned to the gay community. The LGBT community needs to do more to centre trans, queer and lesbian women. Not femininity vs masculinity or 'amabs' over 'afabs' or whatever this is trying to argue. Like arguing that "women and feminity" is privileged over "men and masculinity" is just nuts, I'm sorry. Like have you ever been to a gay village?

And like, if you really need to be aesthetically represented, like, be the change you want to see. I get it, sometimes you're like, I'm here and can find some things for me here, but I want something more tailor fit and that's fine. We have an incrediblly large and diverse community, there are going to be a lot of different needs and preferences. Start a butch meetup group or a transmascs meetup group, or a hiking club, or biking club or a craft group or a reading group or whatever will attract what you want to see. But if you live in a place with a large enough population these probably already exist in some way! There are multiple transmasc meet up groups in my city. I literally run a punk and hardcore group that is largely butch, queer women who are trans and cis.

Also read Stone Butch Blues, All Ways Butch and Femme and The Whipping Girl before posting this crap. 🥱

You can tell how much lesbians and trans men are ignored within the queer community when queerness is associated with pink and glitter. There's no room for us boring, dull, masculine queers, in fact we are traitors meanwhile straight women are "one of the girls"

[werewolf4vampire]

pov you're trying to shop for clothes because none of your nice stuff fits anymore but you can't afford new stuff so you gotta shop at the secondhand & overstock stores and you're fat and curvy so you can't wear men's clothes but you're not femme so most women's clothes feel wrong and none of it is masc and also you still have small tits so all the bras with band sizes that fit you have way too big of cup sizes and you have big feet so the one awesome pair of boots you saw won't fit you and