#bi panic mode: activated

[lighthouseas]

it's always the mfs named ziggy istg

[crownshattered-arch]

@wxndswept inquired: "Am I so beautiful you've got no words left?" Yuuki joking with Jean

⁕| The Legend of Zelda |⁕

There was an upcoming event, hosted by the Dawn Winery, that Jean was invited to. It was supposedly a formal gathering for the important figures of Mondstadt to attend. She had to go not only as the Acting Grand Master but also in the name of the Gunnhildr clan. So, she prepared herself to go, but she extended an invitation to Yuuki for if she wanted to join as her plus one.

And now that they were about to go, Jean seeing Yuuki in her formal attire...she was stunned. Yuuki was only teasing her about being that beautiful, but it was the truth.

"I..." Jean said softly as she stared at Yuuki, her cheeks warm with blush. She looked gorgeous... Yuuki was of course usually beautiful in Jean's eyes, but this... Jean cleared her throat a bit as she glanced off to the side, clearly embarrassed. "I-I...you look...beautiful..."

[honeythekidsarealright]

Hii I hope you don’t mind me jumping on the advice train :)

I’m 26, a bi girl. The past year my dad introduced the woman he was dating to me as they’d get married. She has a couple siblings and the one we care about in this story is her brother. Decades ago when her brother was 30ish he married a woman (we’ll call her R) and had a daughter.. they divorced when the girl was a toddler but they’re cool with each other, no grudges etc. He now plans to marry the woman he met and R married a couple years ago with a man and had another two kids. So this is the background info.

Since my dad was planning to marry, his wife to be invited all the women to her bachelorette party and I went too. So that’s when I met R. (I had met her daughter before, she’s 20 btw and she’s 44). At first, I was like ooookay she’s pretty, and mind you I never was into older people, but there was something about her. When we had our first proper conversation she was really open, telling me all sorts of things of when she was young, how she’s cool with her ex’s new woman.. and i really started to admire her cause that’s a rare mindset.

I had then seen her another time which is uneventful but the third time I saw her was at the wedding. I couldn’t help but comment how pretty she looked and I think maybe I gave myself away by doing that because 1. If I was the type to praise in the ‘being a girl way’ all women’s looks why did I only compliment her xdd and 2. You don’t really feel that comfortable complimenting someone in their face if you’ve only seen them three times in your life..unless you’re interested in them right?XD Well later when we were at the dinner party a couple things proceeded to happen.

The dinner party was huge. Each family would be sat at different tables and she wasn’t sat in ours but when the music was playing and everyone was dancing she passed by our table for a little chat with me (I was sitting there lowkey bored). She said she’s going out to smoke and she’d love to chat but the music is loud but she’ll come by later. And so she did. Half an hour passed and she came and sat in our table, next to me. Jejjdjdjdjjdjd

She looked pretty and I couldn’t comprehend that this woman liked me so much as a person that she came and sat to chat with me so I had a lil gay panic. Keep in mind I’m usually shy and girls intimidate me so me being so expressive and flirty with her is really something that comes out on its own and i really need to control lol. So I really really tried to control the urge to flirt with her and would purposely focus on other things around the venue lmao. I offered her my drink but she had hers. Then happy bday song was playing for someone and I asked her her bday and she proceeded to tell me her sign lmaooo like the effort I had to put in order to avoid saying ‘Cool we match’ jsjsjsj it was crazy. But see I think she knew I like her otherwise why would she add her sign? She knew what I was up to.

And then, then what does she do. Out of nowhere, for no reason, she places her hand and grabs my knee.. I was wearing a skirt. On the part of my knee I spilled some water before she came which didn’t dry up so obviously when she put her hand there she felt it and I placed my hand on top of her hand and said ‘sorry that’s just water’. (Okay placing my hand on hers was also on purpose). But then what does she do??? Instead of removing her hand completely, she pulls up that part of my skirt that got wet, and places her hand on my knee again!!! Gay panic mode activated. I was desperately looking for a distraction in order to avoid my reaction but honestly what is that??? What does that even mean when you read it? It can’t be anything other than a flirt move. I mean, placing your hand on someone out of sympathy or because you like the person is one thing but grabbing their knee? And not just that, but pulling their skirt up and grabbing their knee again?? Like ‘I don’t care if you wet your skirt I’ll put my hand on your knee either way’ this is sending meeee

I couldn’t stop thinking about that the whole night and I really really did not want to react because 1. What if I’m reading things wrong (even though I don’t understand what else that move meant) and 2. This is a woman who has kids and a husband. And 3. The other option is she had suspicions I like her and was testing me but why would she go to such lengths and not just ignore it

So fast forward a couple of days which were mostly spent by me daydreaming about her, I saw her for a fourth time when I suggested she brings her daughter to my dad’s place so we play card games. I knew R would drive her there so I prepared myself to figure out if her move that night was something I misunderstood or if it really was something. So I decided, since I could not be verbally expressive in that context, to notice her body language.

And I noticed that while I was hugging my dad’s wife R did not break eye contact with me and smiled. Then when we all sat inside she’d be the one to turn to me and involve me in the conversation and she would tell jokes and directly look at me to make me laugh. So then, when she was about to leave and started walking towards the door, I purposely joked ‘no don’t leave us with them’ and observed her body language. Instead of standing there and going ‘but I have to take the kids home blah blah’ like any 40y old mother would, she smiled and walked towards me and just stood by my side hearing them all reply to my lame joke.

Like idk maybe she’s like this in general or maybe I’m overthinking but I really cannot label her knee move other than a flirty move and then my observation experiment gives away that she is indeed interested in me and it doesn’t prove that it’s romantically but at least it’s something

It’s been weeks since the last time we met cause obviously it needs to be a specific occasion but honestly I never thought I’d be in a place to have a crush over a milf and she has kids and I would love if she had an open relationship with her husband or if she didn’t mind a fling but I honestly don’t wanna hurt her family. I think the safest way is to wait for more opportunities which would show she feels the same way and just choose to daydream rather act on it. But I honestly can’t control my words when she’s around. It’s not even that she’s super hot, it’s just her energy draws me in.

I’m so sorry this is so long I hope you found it entertaining at least. Sending loveee

hi! i'd be happy to give you advice, so i absolutely don't mind you jumping on the advice train haha. first of all, i'd like to say that i completely understand why you would find yourself attracted to her because she definitely seems to have an aura that can pull you in. also, given everything that you've told me, it does seem that she's been flirting with you a little bit... whether it's intentional or not, it's hard to tell, and the fact that she has a family only complicates things. i think that the only way of figuring out what her true feelings towards you are is by talking to her about it. i know that might seem a bit scary, but in my opinion, having a conversation about it is better than guessing.

[zvaigzdelasas]

[ZimEye is Zimbabwean Media]

According to the Legal think tank Veritas, Clause 2 of the Criminal Law (Codification and Reform) Amendment Bill, inserted a new section into the Code, creating the crime of “wilfully damaging the sovereignty and national interest of Zimbabwe”. Said Veritas:

The crime will be committed by a citizen or permanent resident of Zimbabwe who takes an active part in a meeting involving or convened by an agent of a foreign government, if the citizen or resident knows or has reason to believe that the object of the meeting is:

* to consider or plan armed intervention in Zimbabwe by the foreign government, or * to subvert or overthrow the constitutional Zimbabwean government, or * to consider, implement or extend sanctions or a trade boycott against Zimbabwe, or against an individual or official if the sanctions or boycott affect a substantial section of the people of Zimbabwe.

Penalties for the crime differ according to the object of the meeting:

* if the object of the meeting is to consider or plan armed intervention, the penalty for participating in it is the same as for treason, namely the death sentence or imprisonment for life, * if the object of the meeting is to subvert or overthrow the government, the penalty for participating in it is the same as for subverting constitutional government, namely imprisonment for up to 20 years, and * if the meeting is about sanctions or a trade boycott, the penalty for participating in it is a fine of up to Z$200 000 or imprisonment for up to 10 years or both. And in addition, if the crime is committed in aggravating circumstances (i.e. if sanctions were implemented as a result of the meeting or if a non-binding advisory was issued with the same effect as sanctions, or if the convicted person made a false statement during the meeting) and if the prosecutor so requests, the court may impose any of the following penalties:

* deprivation of citizenship, if the convicted person is a citizen by registration or a dual citizen, * cancellation of residence rights, if the convicted person is a permanent resident of Zimbabwe, * prohibition from being registered as a voter or from voting, for a period between five and 15 years, or * prohibition from holding public office for a period between five and 15 years.

[VOA is US State Media]

Opposition and rights groups in Zimbabwe are bemoaning this week's passing of a so-called "Patriotic Bill" by the lower house of parliament, which they say curtails several fundamental freedoms enshrined in the country's constitution.

Lawyers say if President Emmerson Mnangagwa signs the Criminal Law Code Amendment Bill into law, it will not stand in court because it is flagrantly unconstitutional.

Among other things, the bill would authorize penalties against people found "willfully damaging the sovereignty and national interest of Zimbabwe."[...] "The bill violates sundry constitutional rights and freedoms including freedom of association, freedom of expression, political rights and others," Mahere said. "Zanu-PF has reduced our great nation into an outpost of tyranny. They are clearly in panic mode as we approach an election and on an unbridled crusade to close the democratic space completely in Zimbabwe."[...]

Introducing the bill in parliament late last year, Ziyambi Ziyambi, Zimbabwe's justice minister, said the bill seeks to prohibit private citizens from making false statements or undermining the country, or acting as self-appointed ambassadors meeting foreign officials to undermine national interests.

2 Jun 23

[mlmarint]

bi panic mode activated

WHAT IN THE ROM COM FANFIC DAYDREAMING ALTERNATE REALITY COMPLETELY PERFECT SCENARIO THAT WE ONLY DREAMED UP IN OUR HEADS AND NEVER THOUGHT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS IS GOING ON HERE?!?!

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

YAS MÅNESKIN

[neko-toast]

who was the cute person 😳😳

A clusterfuck of remembering a really cute girl complementing me like a year ago who I haven’t seen since, Hajime Hinata from Danganronpa 2, and two of my irl friends who i will not name because I’m anxious(tm)

[redwhitebuddie]

steve: i have the urge to do something stupid

eddie: i’m stupid, do me

steve:…..

robin: *rolling her eyes* jesus christ

eddie: *wink*

steve: *bi panic mode activated*

[cloudywithachanceofautism]

HERE ARE MY MAIN SIX ‘12 HEADCANNONS

Very slight nsfw

Raph

My boy is a bisexual king and we love him for that.

Has a massive praise kink, call him a good boy or how good hes doing and he’ll melt

Autistic (totally not projecting)

Listens to metal and is the embodiment of ‘can you feel my heart’ by bmth (again, really not projecting)

He has severe anxiety and since Leo’s coma it’s only worsened, Spike is the only one who actually knows but his brothers are onto it as well, because of the panic attacks

Has learned sign language, trash talks with Donnie.

They use he/they pronouns, has tried she pronouns but wasn’t comfortable

Transmasc, i saw the headcannon and I will forever stand by this too.

He feels at fault for Splinter’s death

They are polyamorous, no further explanation he just is.

Casey was his first kiss.

The brain worm left him with severe headaches and balance issues

PTSD

Loves gossipping, has in fact bonded with Karai and Shini because of it

And Mona is there to hear it

After Alopex joined the mutanimals, she, Casey, Raph and Mona became total besties.

Raph loves doing selfcare as a way of destressing, no one knows this except April

Wears eyeliner sometimes and helps Karai with hers too

Leo

This boy is so gay, like Fruity™️

Usagi comfirmed it

Karai knows and is number 1 leosagi fan

Uses mainy he/they pronouns, has sometimes used she pronouns too

BOTTOM WITH EMPHASIS ON BOTTOM

Can be soo sassy when he wants to be

Has PTSD

Really likes Imagine Dragons

Plays minecraft

They got stoned on pot brownies that Casey brought to the lair once

Kinda gets stoned more often now

But he’s responsible and only does it when hes at the farmhouse because of lesser threats, he, Raph and Casey do it together

Loves coffee more than tea

Mikey

Absolutely pansexual, like no debate

ADHD and dyslexic

Uses they/she pronouns but honestly doesn’t mind any

Defenitely sumn going on between them and Leatherhead, defenitely.

Has a giant pansexual flag in their room at her bedframe

Switch

Knows tons of languages like spanish, french and a little bit of german

Really dislikes the taste of coffee

She is terrifying when angry

Donnie

Biromantic ace no doubt no further explanation.

100% autistic

Uses he/him pronouns mostly but honestly does not care cus gender is a social construct.

Has gotten stoned with Leo sometimes

When it’s fall he’ll pester April to get a PSL every. Single. Day.

Casey

BI FUCKING SEXUAL, EMBODIMENT OF BISEXUALITY

He/she/they pronouns, very comfortable in his masculinity though.

Listens to P!ATD and jams out with Raph

He loves cuddles, like physical affection is his love language.

Hardcore stoner

Thinks Leo’s voice is super fucking hot

Does weightlifting next to hockey and is in fact strong enough to lift each of the turtles

Really wants to learn martial arts but he has no patience for the basics

April

She has severe anxiety after her dad got captured

Bonds with Raph best next to Donnie

Had an emo phase when she was 14

Wears contacts

She wanted to give her tessen to Karai, but Karai refused and told her to keep them.

She’s a lightweight, one glass of wine is enough

Has often checked on Raph after Splinter’s death, big sister mode™️ was very much activated

As a group+ other friends

They have game night every friday

When Casey and April stay the night, they all make breakfast together while jamming to their favorite music

When April asks for clothing advise, the boys will take it very seriously

They have a discord server , the main six have their own seperate channel called “the lair” but all their friends are in the server and can ask to be added to the call at any time.

They have given lair parties

During those parties they play games like ‘spin the bottle’ or ‘truth or dare’

Raph paints all the girl’s nails because of his steady hands.

Mona, April, Karai, Shini and Renet have girls nights on saturday, it makes Karai feel like a proper teen.

[moony221b]

thank you jatp 18+ server for

* helping me improve my writing

* supporting my art and helping me get better

* being there for me and helping me through panic attacks

* helping me discover i’m bi and supporting me unconditionally

* metaphorically fighting my mom when she’s being homophobic

* beta-ing my fics

* encouraging me and helping me take a break from social media to get my paper done

* giving me advice and tips for dealing with my adhd

* adopting me

* marrying me

* reminding me to take my medicine

* helping me with medical/health questions

* googling things for me bc i was too freaked out to think about that simple solution

* constantly encouraging me and loving me

* buying my art on redbubble when i thought no one would

* loving me despite the fact that i use light mode

* putting up with my strange knife obsession

* getting on vc with me at 4 am bc i was scared that someone was in my house even though it was nothing

* checking up on me and making sure i’m ok

* making sure i eat and hydrate

* staying up way too late to give me moral support as i wrote my fic

* listening to me give the same speech a dozen times bc i was nervous about public speaking

* not paying attention in english in order to help me brain storm a fic

* watching movies with me

* hyping my art and fics

* validating me when i need it even when i’m annoying about it

* listening to me vent about my cousin’s toxic fiancé a whole bunch and not holding it against me when i got sweary

* helping me through spirals

* never judging me for my beliefs

* continuing to try to help me find solutions to problems even when i’m being difficult about it

* distracting me when my family brings up my triggers

* helping me rationalize when i’m too panicked/scared to think straight

* making sure i don’t stay up too late and holding me accountable when i say goodnight but am active on tumblr twenty minutes later

* making me a subtle pride icon so i can be proud of my sexuality without being outed to my friends

* helping me with my math homework

* reading my crappy research paper for no reason other then to support me

* listening to me infodump about a hyperfixation even if it’s not one you know about

* never making fun of me for not cussing or being sheltered

* listening to my analysis about a show you’ve never seen

* loving me no matter what i do or who i love or who i am

i love you guys so much more then you could ever know and i can’t thank you enough for being my family💖

@willexmagic @alexthedrummerboy @wide-eyed--wonderer @vioislit @reggiehasadhd @sunset-curve-my-beloved @the-anxious-gay-drummer @reggiepetersbass @ghost-band @theobligatedklutz @caliibee @blush-and-books @willexx @conradconreg @literal-ray-of-sunshine @phanhowell @thedeathdeelers @jaskiers-sweetkiss @rhyming-fellowship @lukesorangebeanie @hearjessroar @thegirlfulloffandoms @romantiquesnouvelles @alexmercermolina @oozing-chemistry @willexxmercer @littledancersun @gaystreetsmarts @fiddlepickdouglas @lyra-pador @reggies-bass @sunsetcurbed @a-dream-so-alive @whimiscalliterature @reggiephantom @relicmaster445 @unsaid-emily @sam-i-am612 @finally-free-phantoms @dreams-and-bones @thesevenumbrellas @bobbywilsonsupremacy @star-astro @cmon-reginald @sunsetcurvesoldout @meangirlsx @holy-trinity-of-one-braincell @trevor-wilson-covington @bored-weather

[tiktaalic]

Why exactly do you see Dean as gay rather than bi? Absolutely feel free to completely ignore this ask if you don't want to go into it - it's just I've heard that interpretation a few times here on Tumblr and I'd genuinely be really interested to hear your thoughts behind it, and how you relate it to the way Dean canonically acts on the show

the pithy answer is projection! the unpithy answer is that out of 320 episodes over the span of 15 years, there is one (1) where his attraction comes off as genuine to me, and it took place fifteen years ago (cassie). i’m a lesbian, and when i was younger i had really genuine and meaningful friendships with men that i thought meant i was in love with them. they were very dear friends to me and i cared deeply about them, and they continue to be dear to me and people i care deeply about now that my head’s on straighter. so that’s that point. 

this is. going to be a long post so this is the preemptive warning to everyone who can’t read tumblr paragraphs to zip scroll.

lisa straight up reads as a lavender marriage to me. the focus for both lisa AND dean is him stepping in to be a father figure. their conversations about how much they care about each other center around how good he is with ben/how much he loves ben. there’s like, nothing where they’re smiling at each other and actually enjoying each other’s company. she’s a two night stand he’s seen 4 times in the last decade. she is dean putting on his brave face and keeping his promise. lisa’s post dean boyfriend matt is in one episode for about 3 minutes purely so he can die, but this is the scene.

so like. lisa is CAPABLE of interacting with a man she’s dating in a way that looks like they’re dating, versus. this.

so that’s that point. we’re at season six and we’ve already gone through every long term relationship with a woman dean’s been in. but let’s get really technical! let’s go through bad boys and after school special and amara to boot. 

in bad boys, robin is dean’s first real crush when he’s fifteen or so. first crush being when you’re 15 rather than in elementary or middle school? gay behavior (joke). let those among us who have not had a straight crush as a teen because they were the first person to be nice to us throw the first stone! and that’s what it boils down to for me. it’s the first time dean’s had ANY stability, and he relishes it. it would not surprise me if she’s his first real friend. she’s definitely his first real NORMAL friend. she asks him what HE likes, what HE wants to do with his life. and that’s totally new for dean! to have choices and to have his wants given consideration instead of just having expectation after expectation loaded onto him.

it does not surprise me that dean, who’s been taking a masterclass in repression and masculinity since the tender age of four, dates robin. it would not surprise me if he dated robin and was gay. of course he’s going to throw himself 100% into a relationship with a girl when he knows he’s at an age where boys are supposed to be skirt chasers, when he meets a girl and she’s NICE to him and KNOWS him like literally no one else does. all of this accompanied by the “i am a boy and have positive feelings for someone who’s a girl this MUST be romance this MUST be a crush” like. this is going to get into overshare territory for a moment i apologize but As A Lesbian when i was 15/16 i actively had crushes on girls and rational-ed them away as Girl Best Friends :) while telling everyone that the feelings i had for my boy best friends were crushes aksdkfkndf. repressed gay people are stupid and dean is MUCH more repressed than me aged 16. so. robin box ticked. 

after school special: jail for dabb jail for dabb for a thousand years i know. trust me i know. BUT. 17 year old dean who’s fully pulled on the leather jacket and womanizer persona, who doesn’t talk to anyone in his class and just hangs out in janitor closets making out with a girl who thinks his persona is hot. and when she tries to get close to him, to form an emotional connection, he panics and self sabotages. which. yes. peak straight man behavior. i’m not arguing that this little characterization bit is the pillar upon which gay dean rests, i’m saying if you’re inclined, you can nudge it into gay kid going “oh no this is too much responsibility i gotta get out of this” behavior. and i’m inclined!

amara: the amara stuff is so. hdnfdkf. it’s this primordial connection or whatever stronger than dean and amara both and yet dean’s still able to buck it a few times for [drumroll........] cas! + i don’t have any of the posts on hand but i DO agree with the whole vibe of. “i would fuck the embodiment of my destruction and horrors and failings because my self loathing is THAT strong”. also: gay af for the being of destruction with an immutable pull on you and towards you to say i will give you your greatest desire and then give you your mommy back and dip.

and then there’s the various one night stand stuff. i don’t have the comprehensive list on hand, but off the top of my head these are times when dean has sex scenes that are given huge focus:

when he comes back from hell and everyone’s gently asking if he’s fine and he’s like could a guy who wasn’t fine do THIS [tries to sleep with a bartender and or angel]. when bobby dies and dean’s hardcore mourning and hardcore drinking to the point where i think his drinking is acknowledged for one of a true handful of times in the series. just checked the transcript for that one. the morning after:

DEAN: Ugh.

SAM: You look like crap.

DEAN: Yeah, well, I feel worse than I look. I do recommend the Cobalt Room, by the way. Awesome night. Although I think I'm getting too old for this.

which. again. normal straight man commitmentphobe hitting his 30s and going hmmm.... perhaps real connections would be nice? but that doesn’t contradict gay dean at all, it slots in. also this is season 7. season 7 and he’s too old for this. top of my head i can think of two more similar instances: s11 baby when he groans and goes “mistakes were made”, s13 advanced thanatology when cas is dead and he’s FULL ON grieving so hard that sam takes him to a strip club. and again. he over does it. again he throws himself too hard to the coping vices and when he wakes up he’s tired and sore and has a headache. the other time he gets laid is endverse, which uh. is basically dean in 24/7 mourn drink sleep with someone mode. there are like... a handful of times he has sex For Fun, enough to count on one hand. the rest are all real easy to slap the label PERFORMANCE or COPING WITH MOURNING on.

obviously all of these points go either way - you could absolutely interpret them as legit attraction to women. you can interpret them as legit attraction to women while these instances are still coping/performance. but for me personally they all end up on the gay column instead of the bi column. um. end manifesto i think.

[compassionatereminders]

Hi Kat! TW SH Drug Abuse

Im a stupid bi male whose been in few relationships. Loooonggg story short, a person who I had a relationship with has came back into my life after two years apart and no communication. Its going really well.

When we broke up, I didnt fight. I was so madly in love and it came out of nowhere. Ive never argued in a relationship and didnt see how forcing someone to stay was going to help anyone.

She said she fell out of love with me (I would later learn (like as in two weeks ago) that she experienced a “split” with her companion person (me) as she discovered that she has borderline pd and schizoaffective).

A really stupid thing I did was try and fill a “my ex” shaped hole with a “her friend” shaped peg. Whatever ‘defense’ I can conjure up only makes me look worse. She and her had bad relations and were constantly saying bad things about each other. She had also hooked up with one of my exes (same girl) exes (confused yet?).

It was a thing that sort of just happened organically. We saw each other at a party and hit it off. We shared a lot of similar interests and a month into dating she professed her love for me (red flag). I knew I didnt feel the same way, but out of guilt from hurting my ex, I tried to make it work (it didnt!).

So over the summer my ex (the first one who I was head over heels for) sends me a message and we started talking again. We met in person and I told her everything about my relationship with her friend (only saying brutal truths which she wanted to hear). In the two years we hadnt talked, she took a gap year, developed a coke habit, and attempted to end her life five separate times.

After a month of talking over the summer, and getting texts very infrequently from her, I decided I couldnt keep talking to her. I defend the right to preserve my sanity. She lives four hours away from me, is actively suicidal, and not easy to reach or communicate with. Whenever I wouldnt hear from her for a couple of hours I would go into panic mode and contemplate calling her local emergency services or her mom to check up on her. I wasnt sleeping or taking care of myself just worrying 24/7 if she was alive.

She didnt take me not wanting to talk to her well at all. She doesnt see a therapist as shes had bad experiences in the past. She sees a psychiatrist due to extenuating circumstances with the psychiatric hospitals she was in after attempts.

We have had long conversations about both of these betrayals and breaches of trust. We’ve written letters about it, about what we want, what our needs are, and have had adult conversations about how to move forward.

Im honestly not sure what im asking. Maybe this is just interesting for you, but im extraordinarily stubborn about this. Ive expressed my desire to live together, which was reciprocated, albeit as a future prospect (6-12months).

Oh! She’s a sex worker which makes me uncomfortable and I hate that I feel that way! Thats what it is. I feel a weird knot in my stomach when she talks about it and its so disorienting because it goes against my personal beliefs (that sex work IS work and it needs to be decriminalized and treated as a legitimate job).

I think its internalized mysoginy or a problem with jealousy. I want to be comfortable with it. I dont tell her im not because its not her problem, its mine and my own little stupid brain.

Do you have any advice for me? I know this is so long ive just smoked two cigarettes sitting here typing this on a bench at one in the morning. I rly appreciate your blog as well. A fitting name because I often stumble across a post from you when I forget to be kind to myself. Thanks again and also no pressure to respond to this rambling nonsense either!!

I encourage you to be very, very careful not to get stuck in a "savior" role in this relationship. If this person is an actively suicidal, severely mentally ill addict who is refusing help while taking your attempt at establishing boundaries as a personal attack, then I can't recommend going back to them. I get that you want to help and that you still have serious feelings, but you have to put yourself first - and there's a good chance you can't do that while also getting involved in an intimate relationship with this person. So be careful and think with your brain, not your heart.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CV

It was a love story from the very beginning

Gabe, the Sexologist Archangel

(13x20/13x21)

Hello my dears! I will talk today about a very interesting topic and how Gabriel's character was used as a reminder and also as a realization of angelic sexuality. Not just that, but a constant introspection to sexuality too for Dean.

Gabe as a reflection of Dean

First of all and before jumping to Gabriel sexy bones, let's talk about the way Dean was talking with his husband at the phone as he was scolding his little brother at the same time... I'm talking about episode 13x20, "Unfinished Business"...

[Dean’s on the phone with Cas]

DEAN: Yeah. No, we just got in. Mm-hmm.

DEAN, to SAM: What are you doing? Don't unpack.

SAM: Dude, we could be here for days.

DEAN: No. No. Hey, hell, no.

DEAN [again to Cas over the phone]: Hey -- No, not you. That's… Just call us when you get to Amarillo, all right?

[he disconnects his call]

Why am I pointing at this scene? Because when Dean realizes Castiel thought he was yelling to him, he immediately changed his body language and the tone of his voice became more sweet, almost intimate, as if he was saying: 'No, not you, babe." It looks like that and it sound like that. Just go rewatch that scene and die with me.

The encounter with Gabe

Gabriel will speak and behave as if he were showing future Dean, but also, will bring the sexual references.

Just a little thing over here to connect with my meta of hands and foreshadow, in the middle of the battle between the Nordic gods and the boys we had Sam touching his neck, as a foreshadow of they way he will die in episode 13x21.

Gif credit @myheartofmusic

DEAN: Whatever. What did they want with you?

GABRIEL: I killed their brother.

This is very meaningful because if we took the demigods as the angels and Gabriel talking about killing their brother, it's what Dean will do when he will kill Lucifer in 13x23.

While Gabriel was telling his story, Dean was the one imagining it. And how his mind went from porn stars to watch a man receiving a relaxing touching from a handsome black haired boy with a red ascot, related to Dean and his own bisexuality.

GABRIEL: Don't let anybody ever tell you you're just a pretty face.

[Dean frowns and shakes his head at that]

This is so cute, because Dean is listening to him as if Gabe was his teacher. He feels identify with Gabe story and words. Gabe is literally, a Destiel Sexologist.

GABRIEL: Oh. That top one? That is for the man with the plan, the architect of my torture, and my own personal public enemy numero uno. Their papa… Loki.

The big similitude between Gabriel's revenge on Loki for being his torture, and Dean's trying to find and kill AUMichael, for being his torture too, in 14x03, is noticeable.

Another important paralell is Gabe taking a new identity to hide, but, adopting Loki's shape by doing it. This is the same with AUMichael, who will take Dean and a woman's shape.

Another foreshadows...

Pay attention to Kevin's last words...

KEVIN: Michael doesn't want to kill you. He wants to break you. He said for me to tell you that, “Even if you win, you still lose.” I'm sorry.

This is what Michael will do with Dean. He will break him while releasing him at first, making him think he won, and then will possese him again in 14x09.

Dean going alone to kill Loki is Jack going alone to kill Michael.

But... Loki vs Gabe (played by the same actor, it means, the same two faces) as a foreshadow for AUCas vs Cas, but mostly, AUMichael vs Dean in Rocky's bar (14x10)

Now, it's time to see Angels can have active sexuality.

Jumping to episode 13x21...

Let's talk about Sammy's dream. And Castiel, the pizza man, giving Dean his pizza. Even when he ate 7 pieces.

Gif set credit @bennylafitte

7 is the number that will appear too on episode 15x10. And is symbolically talking about TRUTH. So, practically, Dean will have the truth from Castiel in 15x18!

But also the innuendo that comes with it... Because this episode will talk about angelic sexuality.

Grace and virility

A lot of points and scenes with sexual innuendo throughout the episode, because Gabe is here:

Gabe taking off his own grace could be related to masturbation, thanks to Castiel's hands gestures and Dean's reaction.

The little grace Gabe gives them to open the portal was related to Erection. Also Gabe following "the fall" of the rift with his own sword.

Gif set credit @sleepypanda27

His dialogue with Rowena as he read a book with a pipe on it, another sexual reference to erection.

The seduction after that between the red haired witch and the Archangel.

The "make out session or more" between Rowena and Gabe with it's consequences as they were caught: Dean is amazed, Sam is speechless and Castiel is ashamed (because the sacred oath).

The incident after they arrived to the AU, in which Gabe's face is on Castiel's crotch, a very gay scene for Dean's eyes. Which at first was staring at them with curiosity and suddenly in turned out into a gay panic mode.

Gif set credit @cath-avery

The triumph over the brother's pathological codependency (at least for now)

When Sam dies there was another scene writers tried to show how the pathologic codependency could be left behind. Castiel stops Dean who was heading to look after Sam. The angel said it was in vein because he was already dead and there was a mission: to find Mary and Jack.

The trust in Castiel won over the codependency between brothers. Even when it was a very controversial way to show it.

To Conclude:

Gabe's character introduction brought the idea of sexualization of grace and angels.

The idea of a sexual active Castiel blocked by the sacred oath and the introspection of Dean's bisexuality.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you wanna be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

VOL. XCIII, XCIV, XCV, XCVI, XCVII, XCVIII, XCIX, C, CI, CII, CIII, CIV.

Buenos Aires, March 28 2021 3:20 PM

[kittylaboo]

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad  

 TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ 

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him 

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott 

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck. 

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened 

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety 

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race 

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive 

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water. 

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks 

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods 

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her 

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t 

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later 

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown 

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.”

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much 

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am” 

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.” 

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

[tessasclockworkangel]

Okay PLEASE can you do your TMI sexuality headcanons but with the TDA characters!!

Here it goes

TDA Sexuality Headcannon

Emma: Shes the kinda straight gal who calls everyone babe or hon. (like me :) but wait, im bi) MAYBE SHE IS PAN OR BI?!

Julian: EMMA-SEXUAL or demisexual if you wanna be a “know-it-all”.  Emma’s mine tho. STAY AWAY FROM HER JULES OR-OR ILL I UM

ILL START CRYING and MAKE CRISTINA BEAT YOU UP. 

Mark: hes bi. thats it. he sometimes maybe falls in love with apples  but hey who’s my emma- simping ass to judge? 

Cristina: She’s the straightest sheep of the herd. Will not hesitate to beat you up if you make mark cry. 

Ty: GAY AF LIKE NO KIT SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COME BACK HERE TO YOUR NECROMANTIC BOYFRIEND OR I WILL SEND EMMA to sneakily threaten you till you do. She is a very good tracker. You were warned.

Kit: Bi panic mode activated. Currently in the process of freaking out over buzzfeed quizzes. Has a pirated copy of “bisexual handbook for inexperienced bisexuals”

[emoryinaboat]

Hey! Can i get Seychelles x Iceland Hc's? I love this rarepair and there is literally nothing with them, Thanks! Love it here!

These two are so cute, I am offended by the lack of content so here’s my contribution. 

- Michelle is very actively involved in Emil's health because this boy has little to no executive function so she always has to "Have you drank water today?" "How much have you eaten? Go eat a snack!" "You need more sleep, it's not healthy to sleep so little.." "I love you~~!!!!!".

- Lukas really wanted to be annoyed and protective that Emil was dating someone but honestly he can't find anything to be mad at Michelle for.

- Emil is very fond of Michelle's fish, he spent half an hour just staring at them trying to memorize their names.

- Emil gets really sunburnt whenever he goes to Seychelles and he gets a ton of freckles as a result (which he then loses after like 2 weeks back in Iceland) which are adorable. 

- Michelle snorts when she laughs and Emil thinks it's the cutest damn thing in the world.

- Francis is The most embarrassing dad in the universe and both of them were dying of embarrassment in the Dad Test.

- Michelle is a awful blanket hog so Emil tickles her to get her to give him some more of it.

- They have a fun competition of trying to figure out which is harder to pronounce between French/Seselwa versus Icelandic. Emil has never lost and Michelle gets real pouty when she can't pronounce a word right and Emil laughs. He just thinks it's cute.

- "Milli, would you still love me if I was a pufferfish?" "Yes, now go back to sleep it's 3am-"

- Emil is a shit swimmer so just in case he has a kickboard when he goes in the deep end for stealth (because Matthias teases him for it) and he's an idiot and tries to stand on it but then he falls into the water and Michelle has to save him.

- Straight-passing bi couple who can openly go "oooooh she's cute" "dam you're right" with eachother in a joking way when they go out.

- During every minor disagreement Michelle likes to say "fight me" and Emil once said "Elskan, you're 5'5. I don't think you should be fighting anyone." And to say that this only fueled the fire is a gross understatement. It turned into a 2 hour discussion over which countries she could actually beat in a fight.

- Emil cries at anything sad in a movie and Michelle both thinks it's adorable and goes into full cuddle-it-better panic mode.

- They go on grocery runs together and Michelle always sits in the cart.

- Emil can make bomb-ass flower crowns and he's proud as fuck of it and he made Michelle one and she actually almost cried and Emil was very scared, he was not prepared for this, Lukas and Tino usually just take the crown and go about their day, are you okay???