#bi disaster jaskier

[buttercupthebard]

/!\ Spoiler Blood Origin /!\

Stupid cute bard 💙

[amzngdevil]

Jaskier is canonically bisexual and I have no fucking time to write new fics. Great.

[wordsbyarwen]

AT LAST, the little florist au that could is complete! Link posts appear to be utterly broken for me so here we are with a new format.

An enormous thank you to all the beautiful people who have been with me through this fic, including my betas and readers. Your commentary and support has made the writing easier in times when writing was tough, and have given me great joy at all steps.

They pass through the remaining glasshouses briefly before heading off to see the rest of the growing tunnels. In the second tunnel, Tissaia bends down to retrieve the pail and secateurs Rita had promised to leave for Yennefer's benefit. It’s not the ideal time of day to be cutting flowers, of course—the morning would be better, or even a little later on in the evening—but there’s a fair bit of water in the bottom of the narrow, galvanised metal bucket, the secateurs are sharp, and the heat of the day has passed them by.

And anyway, how can they not give Yennefer this opportunity?

"Wait—anything I like?" Yennefer confirms dubiously as she takes the shears from Tissaia's hands.

"That's right," Tissaia replies, and watches with pleasure as Yennefer's expression shifts to one of unmasked delight.

Information below is for the full fic -

Rated: M Characters: Tissaia de Vries, Yennefer of Vengerberg, Triss Merigold, Jaskier Pankratz, Margarita Laux-Antille Relationships: Tissaia/Yennefer, Rita/Tissaia, Sabrina/Triss (background), and Geralt/Jaskier (mentioned) Other Tags: AU - modern setting, flower shop, awkward flirting, a useless lesbian and a disaster bi, slow burn, social media, idiots to lovers Word Count: 103,050

Chapter 18 is here. Or read from the beginning here!

[the-breath-in-air]

OKAY LISTEN UP

Jaskier was written to be promiscuous way back when he was written to be completely heterosexual. And regardless of all the acting Choices and hints and whatnot in seasons 1 & 2, he was textually written to be heterosexual. And in the books and game...heterosexual.

SO

When, in season 3, they finally decided to make him canonically queer, he was necessarily going to be a "promiscuous bisexual" because he was already promiscuous. Like, can't suddenly do away with the promiscuity part of his character just because it falls into a trope now that he's bi.

AND

I think it's actually a bit of a testament to the writing that the way they went about making Jaskier bisexual is to just sorta retcon the whole thing. Like, make it so he's always been queer...he just didn't say it out loud in any of the scenes we (the audience) saw.

BECAUSE

Imagine the actual disaster it would have been if they'd had Jaskier, like, have a whole 'first queer experience' thing with Radovid. The whole existential crisis of "oh my god I am attracted to a man" thing would've been so boring. Like, I, for one, would've hated that.

[spinningalbinoturtle]

I just hope that Laurence Fishburne plays Regis as he is intended to be- a six hundred year old drama queen-who is very thinly veiled gay. They got Jaskier’s bi disaster down with Joey Batey but Morpheus better be ready for queer icon of the Continent #2.

[followtheravens]

A question for bisexual folks who watch the witcher!

I have seen people on the internet say that they think having a bisexual Jaskier is a bad thing. The biggest reasons I have seen have been these:

It's a harmful stereotype to have a slutty character be bisexual

It's a harmful stereotype to have a flamboyant and not so stereotypically masculine character be queer

So what do all the bi folks here think about this? I honestly love that Jaskier is a bi disaster character and I don't see his sluttiness as a problem. But I want to hear what other people think because this has been on my mind a lot lately.

Please feel free to elaborate on the tags! I really want to hear people's thoughts on this!

[dapandapod]

You always can

Hello lovelies!

I am back with some more Jaskel! ... Again! And this piece has been finished since April something, and I keep forgetting I didn't post it! So here it is!

Please enjoy some silly (drunk) boys in love!

On Ao3 here

So, here is the thing. Having a roommate is good for so many reasons. You can get away with a bigger space for less money, there is someone else doing the dishes every now and then, and if you are lonely, just go bang on his door, right?

Perfect!

Having a fucking gorgeous roommate, however, is slightly problematic. 

The moment Geralt called him and said he knew someone who needed to rent the other room, Eskel knew he was in trouble. Trouble with big B, B as in Bi disaster, trouble as in Geralt dragging Jaskier's drunk ass home after a seemingly wet night out.

"Not my problem anymore," Geralt gruffs, holding up a Jaskier that is still trying to aim for the keyhole while the door is wide open.

" 'Mmmm not a problem," Jaskier slurs, glaring up at Geralt, and then he is being shoved into Eskel's arms.

Kind of. Almost. He stumbles and grips Eskel's elbow, and that is close enough for Eskel's heart to make a double flip, even if he can smell the booze reeking from Jaskier. Hoo boy, it's going to be one of those nights.

"Geralt, lemme, lemme tell you this, Geralt. It is rude to call people probloms. Ploblam. Rude! Geralt!" Jaskier complains, waving his free arm about and stumbling once again.

It doesn't matter much, because Geralt has already closed the door, and Jaskier absolutely did not notice. Or care. He does that sometimes.

Eskel smiles fondly, and Jaskier lets himself be led towards the couch, still waving his hand around and making all the little offended sounds that he is so good at.

"See, Geralt was complaininging aaaaaalll night. All night! And and and, when I say my heart is hurting, he scoff! So rude!"

Jaskier still glares at the door, but Eskel manages to have him sit down at least. Flop down.

"Gonna take your shoes off?" he asks, curious but terrified about Jaskier's remark about his hurting heart. Who did he fall for now? That prick Valdo sure turned both of their lives upside down before they broke up.

"Nu-uh," Jaskier declines, sinking deeper into the cushions.

"Please take your shoes off?" Eskel asks, and that earns him a pout and a whine.

"You know I can't say no when you say please," Jaskier complains, folding his body over to reach for his shoes.

Eskel does know. He is not-so-secretly thrilled about it, and abuses it whenever he can get away with it.

As Jaskier fights his shoelaces, Eskel goes to fetch him a glass of water and a protein bar. The kind with little dried berries and pieces of chocolate that Jaskier favors, and always has at least five pieces scattered around the house.

There is another pitiful whine when Eskel pours the water, and he returns to see Jaskier slumped over his own knees, hands on the floor and hair in his eyes. So fucking cute.

"Heeeeeelp." Jaskier whines again, not in the least stuck. Probably just gave up or got lazy.

Eskel chuckles and puts the glass and the snack on the little living room table.

"You are such a mess," he teases, kneeling down in front of Jaskier and shoving at his shoulder until he is flopped back against the backrest again.

"So mean. The laces were mean too. Nobody loves me," Jaskier sighs dramatically and his body sags as if he is attempting to become one with the couch.

"People love you, Jaskier," Eskel comforts him, holding back the 'I love you' for all that he can.

"Nu-uh," Jaskier says again, shaking his hair, making it fall into his eyes again. Gods, he is adorable when he is drunk.

Eskel focuses on the oh-so-mean shoe laces, quickly undoing the double knots that Jaskier insists on making.

"Nu-uh," Jaskier sighs again, and doesn't help at all when Eskel tries to make him lift his foot and pull it out of the shoe. "I wish he loved me, but I don't think he does," Jaskier tells the ceiling, and oh no.

Eskel grabs Jaskier's ankle, lifting it to rid them of the offending shoe himself, and yes, now his own heart hurts too.

"Why don't you think that?" Eskel says, despite himself. Self sabotage, Triss once told him it is called, but it is so hard not to.

"Because he is gorg... gor... pretty! So fucking pretty! And kind and clever, and he is so kind! And hot!" Jaskier says, his arms waving around in exasperation, and Eskel is not sure if he is the one Jaskier is talking to anymore.

But at least his legs are still, and Eskel can untie the other shoe fairly quickly.

"So hooooot!" Jaskier wheezes, arms falling to his sides with a little thud. Again, Eskel gets no help with the shoe, so he grabs the ankle and lifts the leg up.

"And sweet! Sometimes he pulls my hair behind my ear when he thinks I'm sleeping!"

Hang on.

"And there was this... was this one time when I actually fell asleep in his lap, and when I woke up I was in bed!"

Wait a minute.

"So strong! Strong strong strong, so many muscles."

No. It can't be.

Because sometimes, when they watch a show too late at night, Jaskier sags against Eskel's shoulder, curling up on the couch and gripping at Eskel's arm.

Sometimes his hair falls over his eyes, and sometimes when it does, Eskel dares to trace a finger over his forehead and tuck the wild strands behind his ears.

And there was that one time when Jaskier insisted on having his hair petted, and fell asleep sprawled over the couch, face resting in Eskel's lap, and Eskel had carried him into his room.

His head had rested heavily onto his shoulder, and when Eskel struggled with the door, he shifted and gripped Eskel's t-shirt, nuzzling into Eskel's neck.

It was very, very hard to let go, and very, very hard to calm down that night.

"But he is like that with everyone," Jaskier whines up to the ceiling again. "I'm not special."

'You are', is at the tip of his tongue. It almost slips past his teeth, his last line of defence, and he stands on his knees in front of Jaskier, helpless.

"I just.. ugh.. I love him, Geralt. I'm so fuckhing in love and I can't, and he is..." Jaskier has reached the stage of emotional drunkenness, and Eskel finds himself gently grabbing Jaskier's calves, rubbing them soothingly.

Another sniffle, and Jaskier rubs angrily at his eyes with his fists.

"I just want Eskel to love me...." Jaskier whispers, and oh no, oh no.

This is not a conversation Eskel wants to have when Jaskier is drunk out of his mind. But his treacherous heart is making kickflips in his chest, and again he finds himself reaching out, grabbing Jaskier's hands that are still rubbing at his eyes, and brings them down.

"Have some water," Eskel croaks, rubbing his thumbs over Jaskier's knuckles. "It will feel better."

"Why don't you love me?" Jaskier whispers, now looking directly at Eskel and fuck, shit, bloody hell and fucketifuck.

"I do. Please drink some water, Jaskier," he murmurs back and Jaskier pouts.

"You know I can't say no when you say please," Jaskier pouts and reaches for the glass. It doesn't seem like Jaskier noticed Eskel's confession at first, but three long gulps later he stills, and abruptly puts down the glass again. "You do?!"

Ah, there it is.

"I do. Want a protein bar? It's your favorite." Eskel is still on his knees, one of his hands still holding one of Jaskier's, and he just... fuck, his hands are shaking, the adrenaline of his own confession running through him, even if Jaskier might not even remember it tomorrow, it is thrilling, terrifying, to have said it out loud.

"I do," Jaskier echoes and accepts the snack handed to him. For a moment, he struggles with the wrapping, and when it finally is open he devours it like a starving man.

While he eats, Eskel's knees have finally had enough, and he awkwardly stands up and carries the shoes over to the shoe rack.

Jaskier is suspiciously silent, but maybe that is a good thing considering he is eating something. When Eskel turns around again, Jaskier's eyelids are drooping and he looks like he is about to pass out.

Bedtime for drunk roommates, he thinks. But Jaskier is smiling, and the way he is watching Eskel approach again has his heart aching.

"You love me?" Jaskier asks again, the rest of his snack forgotten on the cushion next to him.

"I do," Eskel confirms for a second time, again with that rush of adrenaline running through him. To say it out loud, it is terrifying but liberating. "Let's get you to bed."

Immediately, Jaskier's soft smile turns into a sly smirk.

"Is that... is that so?" he slurs, and Eskel has to roll his eyes. "Yes please. Take me to bed!"

It is a struggle, but with some effort, and some neck nuzzling from Jaskier's side, they finally make it to Jaskier's room. It is a mess, as always, and they trip and stumble as they cross the boobytrapped floor towards Jaskier's bed.

"Will you stay?" Jaskier asks, again flopping down into the bed and reaching his arms up in an inviting gesture.

"Not tonight," Eskel says regretfully, because no. If Jaskier regrets it all tomorrow, Eskel does not want to be here.

"Pleaaassseee?" Jaskier pleads, and fuck, ok, maybe Jaskier is not the only one who finds it hard to resist a please.

"Fine. I'll sit here until you fall asleep," Eskel agrees, sitting down on the foot end of the bed and leans back against the wall.

Jaskier makes a happy sound, until he remembers that he is still wearing his jeans and his shirt.

"No. No no no no, this will not do," Jaskier mutters, starting the fight of unbuttoning his jeans. Eskel prays to every deity he knows that Jaskier can deal with it himself, because he is not mentally prepared to undress Jaskier under any circumstance. 

Yet. Hopefully.

Some struggling later and pale, hairy legs are revealed, together with some blue underwear with little stars on it. Like the gentleman he is, Eskel looks away, for now, only to catch a glimpse in the mirror. 

Eventually the shirt is gone too, leaving only a white t-shirt, and Jaskier dives under the covers with a contented sigh.

"You love me," Jaskier mumbles again, and Eskel lights up like a fire inside. "Love love love me. And I love you. Love love love you."

This drunk fucking idiot, morning can't come soon enough.

"I want a good night kiss!" Jaskier exclaims suddenly, and fuck.

"Tomorrow," Eskel says hurriedly, before Jaskier can do more than sit up and look at him excitedly.

"But tomorrow it won't be a good night kiss," Jaskier argues.

"But tomorrow, you will be sober, and can ask me again if you still want it," Eskel tries. Tries so hard.

"I always want to kiss you." He is informed, and that is... not helpful. "But alright." Jaskier flops down again, but forwards, so that his feet are on his pillow and his big eyes are looking up at Eskel.

"You can tuck my hair behind my ear, though," Jaskier says hopefully, and yes, that he can do.

Jaskier falls asleep quickly, and now that he has permission, he does indeed tuck that strand of hair behind his ear. And pet Jaskier's hair, and trace his jaw and the shell of his ear.

Next thing he knows, it is morning.

The sun is trying to shine through the heavy curtains, but the thick fabric wins, leaving the room in a comfortable darkness.

Eskel is laying on his side, his body shaped like an L, his feet sticking out from the side of the bed. Against his stomach he can feel a pressure, and when he looks down he realizes Jaskier has the top of his head pressed up against it.

Right.

Alright.

He is having a small debate with himself, if he should get up and leave before Jaskier wakes up or not, when Jaskier actually wakes up.

He scrunches his nose, groans in a way that sounds a little like a cow giving birth, and almost punches Eskel in the nose when he is about to reach up and scratch his cheek.

Then, all of a sudden, Jaskier opens his eyes wide, realization hitting that he is not alone in bed.

"Oh." Jaskier’s voice is raspy after sleeping and drinking. "Hi."

"Hi," Eskel says back, smiling carefully. "Sorry, it seems like I fell asleep too."

For a few seconds, Jaskier's brain seems to be working very hard, his face making a series of strange expressions until it settles on the same careful smile Eskel is attempting.

"You stayed."

"I did."

"You love me?"

Fuck, wow. Alright.

"I do."

The sounds Jaskier makes is how Eskel imagines a keyboard smash sounds, and then there are fingers carding through Eskel's hair.

"And if I ask for a good morning kiss?"

"After you've brushed your teeth," Eskel says, a little breathless.

Immediately, Jaskier rushes up, grabs his head as he sways a bit  and does that weird cow-groan again, clearly hungover, but rushes to the bathroom.

He is a little unsteady on his feet, and bumps into the door frame. Eskel chuckles, and promptly realizes he should probably brush his teeth too. With just a little more grace, he makes his way out of the messy room, without bumping into the door frame, and joins Jaskier in the bathroom.

It is a little funny how frantically Jaskier is brushing his teeth and putting on deodorant, still in his white t-shirt and starry underwear.

The bathroom is a bit narrow, but he sidles in behind Jaskier, a hand on his hip as he reaches for his own tooth brush.

"Calm down." He smirks, marveling in the little shudder that runs through Jaskier at his touch.

Morning did not settle any kind of nerves, and touching Jaskier like this still has him shaking like a leaf.

Jaskier does calm down a little, and romantically enough shoos Eskel out to use the bathroom. Eskel rinses out his mouth by the kitchen sink, and by the time he is done Jaskier is walking up behind him, reaching out to hold his sides.

Eskel turns slowly in Jaskier's arms, so close their noses are almost touching.

"Now?" Jaskier breathes, his fingers flexing as they grip Eskel's shirt tighter.

"Now," Eskel confirms, finally, finally leaning in and pressing their lips together, hands reaching up to rest on Jaskier's shoulders.

It was only meant to be a peck, a chaste press of the lips, but he lingers. And when he tries to pull back, Jaskier chases his lips with his own, clearly not done yet, and Eskel lets himself be kissed.

It is soft, warm and cold both in the way that toothpaste sometimes feels in your mouth.

For a long while they just stand there, trading kisses back and forth. Slow and lingering, every touch of lips a question and an answer.

When they finally surface for air, Jaskier leans into Eskel's chest and wraps his arms around him in a hug.

"I always wanted to do that," Jaskier mumbles, his mouth pressed into Eskel's shirt.

"You always can," Eskel mumbles back, his lips pressed into Jaskier's hair. They stay like that until their heart rates go back to normal, until their breaths evens out and Eskel's lips stop tingling.

They move apart to make coffee, and for Jaskier to put some damn pants on. When he comes back, Eskel presses him up against the kitchen counter, one hand on his hip and the other tilting Jaskier's face up.

"Please?" Eskel breathes, hovering inches over Jaskier's lips.

"You know I can't say no when you say please."

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

#WifeMeUp 3

I wish I could draw worth a shit bc I wanna draw grungy Geralt so bad but alas, I cannot draw hands or consistent faces... 

Warnings: none! other than swearing but like its me... yall should know by now 😘

ITS TIME FOR THE DATE

__________

Geralt showed up to Jaskier's apartment in a dark, emerald green Henley and a black denim jacket with… was that a Blue Oyster Cult patch? Jaskier had to bite his cheek to keep from all-out swooning. 

He locked the door behind him as he joined Geralt in the hallway, "I suddenly feel a bit underdressed." 

Geralt cocked his head to the side, flashing a smile that could kill a weaker man, "You look great. Don't know what you're talking about." 

Oh my gods, he's a puppy. 

Jaskier's cheeks heated up as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his mom jeans (dad jeans?), "Th-thank you." 

“Anytime.” He stepped to the side and offered his arm like a regency romance character and Jaskier looped his arm around his elbow, leaning a little closer than he usually would but Geralt just smelled so good. 

“So where are we going? Or is it a surprise?” he asked as they slid into Geralt’s truck. It was old but well cared for, the type where you could flip the console up and have one long bench as the front seat. Jaskier made a note about that for later depending on how the night went. 

“Well my sister told me to be mysterious, so I’ll keep it a surprise.” Geralt revved the engine and they headed toward the freeway. 

Their conversation was easy, all the ‘where’s your family from’ type questions were out of the way by the time they got to the restaurant. And oh, Jask thought he might be in heaven. At first glance, Hunter’s Pizza was nothing special but its back porch was hanging over the river, and even from the parking lot, Jask could see a huge pizza oven in the center of the restaurant. They were seated outside next to a heater, far away from the 13-top of housewives having a birthday party, thank gods. 

Once they’d ordered, Geralt leaned back with his fingers laced behind his head, somehow making his shining white hair even messier, “So what was on that note? Or am I allowed to know?”

Jaskier pinched his thigh under the table to distract himself from those arms and fucking answer, “Oh just, Essie. She likes to meddle.” Geralt raised an eyebrow but Jaskier leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand and hoping his shirt fell open like he wanted it to, “How were the ponies this morning?”

Geralt mimicked him, leaning forward on both his elbows like he was going to tell Jaskier the secret to life, “Ponies are the devil incarnate, but the horses were fine.”

“But they’re so small and cute! How can ponies be evil?” Jaskier didn’t really care at all about ponies, but that goofy smile Geralt had going on was heavenly.

He spent the next ten minutes listening in complete rapture to why ponies were horrible little monsters and he could listen to hours more. Geralt really did look like a puppy, especially when he was excited about something. He also blew his hair out of his face a minimum of three times before he would run his hands through it, something Jaskier was very much looking forward to at this point. The best part was the hand talking, all sorts of waving and miming and... 

Oh shit, I’m staring. 

Jaskier pulled himself back to reality as Geralt ended his rant, “...never met a pony I or any horse liked.”

“You trust your horses with that? To make character judgments?”

Geralt smiled and nodded, “You should come by sometime.”

“That’s a test isn’t it?” Jaskier didn’t manage to put as much of a joking lilt into the words as he’d wanted to and thought about jumping into the river. 

But Geralt just winked at him as their server set down their pizza and plates, “I’m confident you’d pass.” 

Sonofabitch.

-

Geralt flipped the console up on their way home and Jaskier’s heart skipped a beat as he slid across the bench, leaning into Geralt’s side with one of those giant arms draped over his shoulders. He flipped through a box of CDs, teasing Geralt about getting with the times before popping in Weezer and leaning his head against Geralt’s shoulder. 

It was well past the time he should sleep for an opening shift the next morning when they got back to his apartment but Jaskier found himself wishing he had the balls to invite Geralt in. They walked arm in arm back to his door, climbing the stairs slowly, neither of them really wanting to go home. 

When they got to his door Jaskier turned to face Geralt, planning on saying ‘thanks for the bite’ or something else noncommittal but Geralt was looking at him like he was a summer sunset and the words died on his tongue. 

Geralt’s hand trailed down his harm to his hand, hooking their pinkies together, “I had a great time tonight.”

Jaskier bit his lip and hooked their other hands together in the same way, “Me too,” he batted his eyelashes and internally swore at his body for blushing. 

“Hmmm…” Geralt inched forward, the sound coming out almost predatory and sending a thrill down Jaskier’s spine. 

“If I didn’t know better Mr. Bellegarde,” Jaskier breathed, tugging at Geralt’s pinkies to get him even a fraction of an inch closer, “I’d say you wanted to kiss me.”

Geralt’s voice came out just above a whisper, all gravely and sexy as hell, “And if I did?”

Fuck me. This boy is going to kill me.

“I’d encourage it.”

The kiss was everything JAskier had wanted and more. Soft but firm, warm and electric. Geralt dropped Jaskier’s hands and held him flush to his body by the hips, making Jaskier’s head spin. 

When they eventually parted Jaskier felt like he was floating. 

He didn’t even realize Geralt was ten steps down the hall when he called back to him, “See you in class?”

“Mhmm!” the squeak was embarrassing but it wasn’t entirely fair of Geralt to expect him to be coherent after a first kiss like that.

[shastafirecracker]

Should anyone be interested, I have written some Witcher fic (poly/open relationship/FWB Geraskier, show!Jaskier blending with a more game!flavored... everything else). Yes, the hyperfixation is truly here to stay. help me

Benefits [AO3] Geralt/Jaskier | E |  3,319 words They have a friends-with-benefits thing going while they travel, but Geralt surprises Jaskier with his preferences, and Jaskier is up to the challenge of making it good. (i.e. Geralt is a subby bottom and you will pry this fact out of my cold dead hands)

Friends [AO3] Geralt/Jaskier | E | 6,692 words The benefits are great, but it’s the friends part of the phrase that ends up mattering the most.

Winter [AO3] Geralt/Jaskier & very faint background Geralt/Eskel | M | 14,758 words Jaskier winters in Kaer Morhen and meets Lambert, Eskel, & Vesemir. Unconventional family feels-fest with Jaskier Meeting The Fam. Fluff, bittersweet, then more fluff.

[izzy-hands]

#there is no heterosexual explanation for this

+ bonus:

[shieldmaiden19]

"I'm going to do what I do best."

"And that's what?"

"Oh I never really know. That's why I'm so good at it."

LEGENDS ONLY

[amzngdevil]

the urge to start writing some Ghost fics now that I've changed my entire blog (thanks, musical hyperfocus) 💬

[itsmxbee]

how did I forget they’re all disaster bisexuals?

[having-conniptions]

Me @ Yennefer while watching season 1: I like her! No I don't. Yes I do! Naaah... OMG YES

Me while watching season 2: MARRY ME GORGEOUS WITTY BADASS INTELLIGENT WIFEY

[witchersjaskier]

the mountain doesn’t happen and they go to the coast because jaskier wants to confess his love ofc but the sun is intense and jaskier gets freckles on nose and cheeks, his shoulders too.

geralt takes one look at them, at his bard all wind-mussed, lips chapped, eyes even bluer thanks to his tan and just blurts out,

“fuck, i love you”