#better - i will go ‘this person thought this’ if it’s explaining more of an overarching idea or theory but for something that can be told

[delta-piscium]

asking whoever came up with quotes in academic papers for their hand in marriage, i love filling up my word count with quotes that explain my point so i don’t have to and they make me look so well read too, we shall have a spring wedding my love

[lightandfellowship]

KHDR Re:Write - Giving Hermod A More Prominent Character Arc

Urd's rewrite can be found here.

The tl;dr:

Hermod’s initial motivation: To uphold the "greater order" and follow the rules no matter what.

Hermod’s struggle: He doesn’t always agree with the rules, and following them often results in both him and his friends getting harmed. His commitment to following the rules even at the cost of himself partially stems from him feeling like he has no control over his life, and he copes by assuming that (most) authority figures are trustworthy, competent, and have his best interests in mind.

Hermod’s conclusion: He needs to be willing to break the rules and think for himself in order to do what’s right and protect his friends.

Below the read more is a rough outline of how I would implement this character arc into the story. Be forewarned that it's a fairly long and text-heavy post.

Four notes before we begin (feel free to skip):

Rather than this being a full-fledged rewrite where I get to go ham and do whatever I want, instead my goal is to try and demonstrate how the game in its PRE-EXISTING state could have given Hermod a more clear and satisfying character arc via fairly minor changes to the dialog, characters, and story. I want to see if this could have been possible without having to expend too much extra time and resources, since it seems like a lack of time/resources/budget is why his story got cut in the first place. So I won’t be doing anything drastic like creating entirely new episodes or anything like that. Same worlds. Same number of episodes. Same sequence of events. Same overarching plot.

Ideally, I would have liked to convey certain details about these characters and their story via secret reports/diary entries. Specifically, the sorts of details that would slow the pace down or feel a little too direct/clunky if addressed within the story itself. However, because of the self-imposed restriction I talked about in point 1 (i.e. no drastic alterations to the game or additions that would require extensive effort to implement), I won't be utilizing such a format, and so I will sometimes have the characters speak a bit more openly/directly about their feelings/thoughts than I otherwise would've liked.

Because I have a lot to say, I won't be providing summaries of the episodes I'm discussing as I explain my story changes. A fairly solid recollection of the game's events is...perhaps not required, but certainly helpful for understanding what I'm talking about and how I arrived at my choices.

I don't claim to know better than the writers or even be an experienced writer myself, this is just how I personally would approach giving Hermod a more prominent character arc, because I think we can all at least agree that Hermod didn't get enough focus in this game. If Hermod's story hadn't been cut (presumably), I have no doubt that Tomoco Kanemaki would have come up with something better than what I'm proposing here.

But anyway, without further ado:

Hermod's Motivation and Personality

"Simple as that."

During the flashback where the underclassmen are asked why they want to become Keyblade Masters, Hermod is initially flustered at the question, as if he either didn't have a good answer prepared or was reluctant to say what it was. He averts his gaze and noncommittally agrees with everyone else’s reasons, avoiding the question somewhat, but then he clarifies that he’s doing it so that he can “uphold the greater order." This phrasing is a little vague, but I assume he basically just means that he wants to uphold the law of Scala, Keyblade wielders, and Light.

Based on his behavior and dialog here, it almost seems like Hermod became a Keyblade wielder for much the same reason as Eraqus: it was just expected of him. It was what he was told to do, and he always does as he’s told. But he nonetheless is content with the path chosen for him because he knows that it’s the best way to uphold order and protect his loved ones. As his official bio states, “he plays the role of big brother as he looks out for and takes care of everyone.”

Honestly, I think even in the base game Hermod’s “arc” is fairly obvious: he goes from strictly following the rules to being willing to break them for his friends. However, the problem is that the game doesn’t really focus on Hermod enough to make this arc feel sufficiently developed and explored. As in, the end of his arc just kinda happens abruptly with very little build up. So, in my rewrite, I’m going to have Hermod more frequently demonstrate his commitment to upholding order, and have him do it in a way that impacts the events of the story more, while also having the narrative address the consequences of that mindset more directly.

Also, as an aside, Hermod's official bio makes special mention of his anger, but I don’t think the game showcases that aspect of his character enough? So I'll try to incorporate his anger into the story just a tiny bit more. To be clear, I don't really want his anger to be framed as, like, this major character flaw of his (for the purposes of this rewrite, his major character flaw is going to be his aforementioned strict rule-following), I just want it to crop up more often in the story to add more Flavor to his character. It seems like the original intent was for Hermod to be the fire to Urd's ice, but the game doesn't really convey that all too well, if you ask me.

Before we move on, I want to quickly summarize some canon aspects of Hermod's character that are going to be important to this arc, things that are consistently established about him throughout the game, to the point where it would be silly of me to list every single example of these character traits as I walk you through my rewrite (I will be mentioning some of them in more detail later, though).

He's a model student. Hermod tends to be the one who takes charge in class; he's the one who approaches Odin with the underclassmen's issues, speaks on behalf of the underclassmen, and volunteers for tasks. He also tends to prioritize Odin's wishes and judgment.

There's some implied friction between him and Eraqus that eases up as time goes on. He tends to give Eraqus annoyed and disapproving looks whenever Eraqus talks back to Odin or says something ignorant. That being said, he also seems fond of Eraqus, smiling and laughing at jokes about his antics.

With that, let's get into the rewrite.

Episodes 1-2: Establishing Hermod's Character, and "The Problem"

To start off with, I want to point out a small detail at the very beginning of the game that leads me to believe that Hermod isn’t actually satisfied with being such a well-behaved rule-follower.

When the underclassmen talk about the potential existence of newborn worlds that don’t have rules or laws set in place yet, Hermod, after some quiet contemplation, remarks with “Then the rules can be changed...” (this is even the quote chosen for Hermod’s official bio, no less!) The fact that this thought crossed Hermod’s mind at all, and the fact that the narrative chose him specifically to be the one to deliver this line, makes me think that he has some unspoken desire to see the rules be changed despite his best efforts to be a model student. This is great, because it provides a decent foundation for his character arc and hidden depths.

TANGENT: I want to highlight a moment in Episode 1 that will be relevant to this rewrite later. Namely, Hermod getting annoyed at Eraqus talking back to Odin. (As I said before, there are several other moments throughout the game where Hermod looks at Eraqus with an annoyed/disapproving look, but I'm only going to mention this one.)

Anyway, on to the actual changes. First off, much like the Urd rewrite, I’m removing the mechanic from Episodes 1-3 that lets you choose your third party member for the cutscenes. Why? It just doesn't make for good writing in this particular case; the dialog has to be at least semi-generic across all the characters in order to make swapping them out easier, and that's simply not conducive to giving the characters unique character traits and individual focus.

Episode 1 is mostly uneventful and focuses more on Urd in my rewrite for her, so let's move on to Episode 2.

Urd is your party member for this episode (for reasons I explained in Urd’s rewrite), and Hermod, Vor, and Bragi are the three party members that get put on trial. And rather than all three of them yielding to the Card Soldiers because they unanimously agreed to not mess with the world order, instead it was HERMOD’S idea specifically. Bragi suggested that they fight back, and since Vor’s bio mentions that she “shies away from battle”, she suggested that they try to run away and evade capture. Hermod points out, however, that the best way to avoid disturbing the order would be to follow the laws of this world and not cause trouble.

Vor and Bragi are hesitant but ultimately decide to trust Hermod’s judgment on the matter, as they tend to rely on him as a big brother figure anyway. This serves to highlight how Hermod will follow the rules and obey authority even when he doesn’t necessarily agree with what’s happening to him or is put in serious danger because of it. Now, none of this happens on-screen of course, because we also didn't see what happened in the base game either, but we'll find out about it after the trial.

Speaking of the trial. When Xehanort, Eraqus, and Urd find the other underclassmen at the court on trial, it is Hermod who is leading the defense. In the base game, either Bragi or Hermod will lead the defense depending on who you picked as your third party member, but since I want the trial plotline to focus more on Hermod, in this rewrite it is only ever Hermod who stands in front and speaks to the Queen of Hearts. (A quick note, if you compare the two different versions of this scene, the one where Hermod leads and the one where Bragi does, Hermod comes across as a bit more apologetic, whereas Bragi puts his foot down more about what he's willing to take responsibility for. Hermod: "Okay, I apologize for trespassing." vs Bragi: "Wait, I'll own up to tresspassing, but that's it.")

Anyway, back to Hermod and the rewrite. At first, he's a bit of a bootlicker, being very polite and trying his best to placate the Queen while also calmly defending himself and his friends. After a while of trying and failing to reason with the Queen however, Hermod loses his patience and explodes at her. He pretty much immediately regrets it and tries to backpedal in a panic, stammering the entire time, but it's too late—that was the last straw for the Queen. Just like in the base game, Xehanort, Eraqus, and Urd recognize the danger and intervene to try and talk the Queen down from executing their friends. The cutscenes then proceed just like they do in the base game, with the Queen demonstrating that her rule is based on her subjects living in fear of her.

After the trial, the discussion the underclassmen have about the darkness in people's hearts being more dangerous than the Heartless still happens, but either before or after it there is a separate (but still interconnected) discussion where Hermod apologies to the others and takes responsibility for his idea to surrender themselves to the Card Soldiers, explaining his reasoning for why he did that. Namely, that as Keyblade wielders, it was their duty to not disrupt the order in any way, and their hands were tied.

Xehanort and the party exchange Knowing glances to indicate that this isn’t uncommon behavior for Hermod (and also that they’re not exactly pleased about how quickly and easily he relented to the Card Soldiers, not putting up much of an argument or fight) but they silently agree to not confront Hermod about it since he had no way of knowing what a farce the trial was going to be. Perhaps letting themselves get captured would have been the correct decision if Wonderland’s court system was actually fair. Instead they assure him that they understand why he thought that not fighting back or running away was the best decision in the moment, but nonetheless he needs to be more careful in the future. Hermod agrees and is genuinely apologetic for putting his friends in danger, but there’s still a hint of irritation in his expression. He still thinks that adamantly refusing to disrupt the order was the inarguably right decision to make; after all, it’s what they were specifically instructed to do by Master Odin. And if there's one thing that Hermod refuses to do, it's break the rules.

Episode 3: Minor Details of Note

Episode 3 isn't a Hermod focused episode in my rewrite, but there are two details from this episode that I find worth mentioning.

Detail 1: Unique dialog from Hermod that won't exist in my rewrite (because I have Vor slotted for Episode 3) but I think says a lot about Hermod: "But the Tweedles didn't seem to be cowering under [The Queen's] rule. They looked happy enough to me." Does Hermod perhaps consider himself "happy enough" with his life, and thus makes no attempts to change or improve his circumstances?

Detail 2: When Eraqus starts getting angry and upset at Xehanort because Xehanort said that the upperclassmen might have been felled by darkness (presumably, a painful reminder of the fate that befell Eraqus' grandfather), Hermod looks sympathetic, puts his hand on Eraqus' shoulder, and tries to calm Eraqus down. Though Hermod is sometimes at odds with Eraqus, he seems to know about what happened to Eraqus' grandfather, and tries to be understanding about it. At the end of the day, they are good friends even if they don't agree on everything.

Episode 5: Further Emphasizing Hermod's Personality and His Dilemma

Canonically, Episode 3 (if you choose Vor to be your party member like the game prompts you to) and Episode 4 are more Vor focused, and in my rewrites Episode 5 is Urd focused, but we can squeeze a couple of minor Hermod moments in Episode 5 to keep things balanced.

Specifically through Cogsworth and the Beast, as people of authority in the castle that Hermod can show respect to.

With Cogsworth, I just imagine Hermod being very polite with him and being more than willing to help him get the rose back, giving him respect as the head of the household.

Same goes for the Beast (in fact, in the base game it is Hermod who speaks/approaches the Beast first, not Urd like you'd expect), but when the Beast tries to viciously attack Hermod despite the underclassmen being very polite and reasonable with him, afterwards Hermod makes a comment about how surprised he is that someone in such a respectable position as lord of the castle would act like that and yet still garner such love and loyalty from his servants. Genuine loyalty, not the fake, fear-based loyalty that the Queen of Hearts commanded back in Episode 2.

"There's still much we don't know about this world and its residents. Perhaps we're missing something important. Or perhaps this world is like Wonderland; it's just the order of things." says Xehanort. "Maybe he's not so bad once you get to know him?" offers Urd.

And like, that's the thing, right. The Beast definitely needs to learn how to treat his servants better, but he lashes out because he's hurting, not out of genuine disdain for them like the Queen of Hearts, and deep down he really does care about his family at the castle even if he doesn't always show it. If Hermod can somehow recognize that that is what's going on, if he can recognize what exactly makes the Queen of Hearts and the Beast different despite their similar temperaments, then he can also realize that "Hey, people who genuinely care about you and your wellbeing probably deserve your loyalty more, and those who don't, don't." (Not that the Beast is a terribly great example of this given his nonetheless inexcusable behavior, but you get the idea.)

I can imagine Hermod starting to realize what conditions are required to birth true loyalty in people's hearts after they return the rose to the Beast, and the party finally sees him in a more calm, grateful state. This could be a discussion that Xehanort, Hermod, and Urd have as they leave the castle, capping off their adventure there.

BUT regardless of whether or not Hermod ends up seeing the hidden humanity of the Beast, once again Hermod is being presented with a wrathful, flawed authority figure wielding power against their subjects in unfair ways, and not yet recognizing how his alarmed and frustrated emotional responses to these scenarios could be applied to his own life and circumstances.

(And, honestly, maybe seeing such extreme examples of anger being wielded carelessly and spitefully against people who don't deserve it would make Hermod re-examine his own anger issues too and learn how to wield/direct his anger more responsibly? I know I said I didn't want his anger to be the focus of this rewrite (especially since anger isn't inherently bad) but the connection that can be drawn here is still a little too juicy to pass up, don't you think. Also, in addition to the Queen of Hearts and the Beast being examples of extreme anger wielded carelessly, there's also Hades to consider, who is known for his own unique brand of fiery, explosive anger as well. Keep him in mind for later.)

Episode 6: Confrontation and Introspection

The next set of major events relevant to Hermod’s development occur in Episode 6. In fact, Episode 6 is like, THE Hermod episode.

Episode 6 starts off with Jafar trying to trick Xehanort, Urd, and Hermod into going to the Cave of Wonders and fetching the lamp for him, lying about how the lamp is crucial to saving the kingdom. In the base game, Hermod is the first one in the group to show sympathy for Jafar and start falling for Jafar’s ruse, to the point that Urd worriedly grabs his hand to stop him when he starts to approach Jafar after overhearing Jafar's "woes".

In this rewrite, I’m taking inspiration from that little interaction and having Hermod be way more trusting of Jafar than Xehanort and Urd are, implicitly respecting Jafar’s authority as the royal vizier. So rather than Xehanort being the one who agrees to help Jafar (because he has suspicions about the lamp and wants access to the Cave of Wonders) with Hermod acting surprised/displeased at Xehanort’s willingness, instead it's Hermod who enthusiastically agrees to help, with Xehanort and Urd acting a little surprised and displeased but nonetheless going along with it (due to the aforementioned "the lamp might be important to our mission actually.")

There's also a moment during this scene where Xehanort and Urd start poking holes in Jafar's sob story and Hermod seems surprised/displeased that they're so rudely questioning Jafar like that, and obviously I'm keeping that in since it exemplifies Hermod's hesitation to question authority.

Afterwards, as the party makes their way down into the Cave of Wonders, Xehanort voices his doubts about Jafar’s intentions. In my rewrite, rather than Hermod instantly trusting Xehanort’s judgment of Jafar’s character, instead I want Hermod to argue with Xehanort about it. Hermod doesn't understand why Xehanort is accusing Jafar of nefarious intentions without any evidence to back it up, especially since Jafar seemed so...NORMAL and COMPASSIONATE compared to the other authority figures they've encountered so far. He's just trying to save his city, is that really so bad? says Hermod.

Xehanort, realizing that "I can feel his greed/darkness tho" doesn't really qualify as hard evidence, but ALSO being kinda fed up with Hermod's inflexibility and compliance up until this point, calls him out on not thinking for himself and just blindly following authority even when they're so CLEARLY suspect. Must I remind you about what happened with the Queen of Hearts, Hermod?

Hermod, shocked and offended at being criticized like that, and also getting defensive at having his Major Character Flaw thrown into his face, scoffs but doesn’t argue the point further. However, he’s still very visibly angry, and short with Xehanort whenever they do happen to exchange words. "Whatever. Let's go find this lamp already and get back to our mission." Or something like that.

It’s only when the party runs into Bragi and Eraqus who reveal that Jafar tasked them with the exact same dangerous mission too without ever mentioning them to Xehanort and company that Hermod is finally convinced that Xehanort had been right all along. Jafar was treating them like disposable pawns and knowingly sending them into a death trap.

He also realizes that he was naive to trust Jafar so easily just because he was a charismatic authority figure. Before, Hermod was presented with the unfortunate reality of some authority figures just being plain cruel and incompetent and careless, but here he learns that they can also be deceitfully charismatic on top of that, and that it's not always going to be obvious when you're being taken advantage of.

He apologizes to Xehanort for (yet again) dragging his friends into danger due to his own personal hang-ups and choosing to trust Jafar, a stranger, over Xehanort, his close friend. Feeling the need to explain himself, he confesses that lately, he has felt like he has had no control over his life (perhaps with the implication that his family is really strict and expect way too much from him?), and the only way he knew how to cope with that was to assume that the authority figures controlling every aspect of his life were trustworthy, knew what they were doing, and had his best interests in mind. If he believed that with all his heart, then he could accept his lack of freedom to make his own choices, and be content with it. Xehanort, realizing that he was overly harsh on Hermod earlier, apologies as well.

TANGENT: Once again, I wish to highlight a moment from the base game that will be relevant later. Namely, Hermod and Eraqus starting to act more and more like each other.

Moving on: In addition to Vidar trying to recruit Eraqus in the lamp room, I want Vidar to try to recruit Hermod as well, because there's an awfully convenient similarity between the two of them that's relevant here. In that very scene, Vidar talks about how he and his friends heeding what they were taught (i.e. “don’t mess with the order no matter what”) is what resulted in four of them dying in the first place. Vidar had to learn the hard way what happens when you blindly follow the rules without considering your own opinions on what the right thing to do is. This lesson is absolutely what Hermod needs to learn, too. Perhaps Vidar’s entreaty isn’t enough to convince Hermod to join him, but in conjunction with the Wonderland fiasco and Jafar’s deceit from earlier, it’s certainly enough to make Hermod start re-evaluating himself. 

Specifically, I can imagine this theoretical Vidar and Hermod interaction slotting somewhere after Hermod's canon line "...upsetting each world's order is the worst thing you could do." (Is it? Perhaps Hermod will change his mind about this very soon...) Maybe it goes something like this (my added dialog in italics):

"I don't have a clue about true darkness and how much of a threat it is, but upsetting each world's order is the worst thing you could do." says Hermod, angrily. "'Don't upset the order,' huh? That's what we were taught, too." [Upperclassmen classroom flashback, followed by Vidar explaining that the other upperclassmen are dead, just like in the base game.] "And what about you, Hermod?" "Huh?" Hermod's anger gives way to confusion. "How has 'upholding the order' treated you and your friends so far? In Wonderland, and here in Agrabah?" (<-knowledge he got from spying on them.) "..." "If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that you can't let darkness have its way. Not ever. Otherwise, it'll take away everything you care about the moment you give it the chance. If you wish to protect your friends...then you must fight it. So why not join me, and fight it?"

Hermod, much like Eraqus, refuses Vidar's offer, being worried about what might happen to the worlds if Vidar continues to steal the items of world order. But now he has something to mull over.

Episode 7: Realization and Resolve

Episode 7 is where Hermod's arc concludes (naturally, since he dies here.)

A couple of canon moments from this episode I want to highlight before we get to my changes, since I think they're important to Hermod's arc:

In the scene where Odin and the underclassmen discuss Vidar's plans to purge true darkness, Odin says to Hermod and the underclassmen "However, it has not yet been determined that what we face now is true darkness. And if it is indeed so, will you risk the lives of countless others to save your friends?" A question that we will actually get an answer to quite soon.

After Odin relieves the underclassmen from their duty, Hermod despairs over this fact and acts like there's nothing they can do about it since Odin's word is absolute. We see his anger and frustration spill out due to his conflicting feelings on the matter. He seems to be at a crossroads, unsure of what the best thing to do is. You get the impression that he is on the cusp of doing something uncharacteristic of him.

Anyway, Episode 7 remains mostly the same up until the Hades boss fight that occurs due to Hades claiming to have imprisoned Bragi or Baldr. Hermod, after much internal conflict, finally decides to break the rules and agrees to fight the literal GOD of the Underworld (you could not have asked for a more fitting ending to Hermod's arc than that) in order to save his friends, wielding his anger compassionately and strategically to protect what's most important to him. This acts as a bookend to the Wonderland episode; there, Hermod’s refusal to fight an authority figure nearly got him and his friends executed, but here he’s finally realized that he needs to follow his heart and do what he thinks is right, even if that means disregarding his orders or disobeying those in power. He nearly got his friends killed last time; he won’t let that happen again.

However, instead of Hermod showing up after the Hades boss fight, I want him to show up before it and actually be involved in the battle. And since Eraqus and Hermod are usually at odds with each other due to Eraqus’s flippant and disrespectful attitude towards authority, I think it would be very emblematic of Hermod’s change of heart for him to protect Eraqus in the battle. (Remember those canon Eraqus and Hermod moments I highlighted? This is where they finally pay off. This moment of Hermod putting himself in danger to save Eraqus works without me having to add any extra details to lead up to it. Nice.) So at one point Hades gets very close to offing Eraqus. but Hermod jumps in front of him just in time to fend Hades off, getting seriously injured in the process. 

So later in the dark corridor when Hermod starts passing out way before Urd does, it’s specifically because of the extra wounds he sustained in the fight, adding another layer of tragedy to his death. He stood up for his friends and what he believed was right, discarding his strict adherence to the rules and disrupting the order in the process, but the ironic cost of that choice was that he was too hurt/exhausted to properly protect Urd and himself from Baldr. He did his best, and realized his error in time, but unfortunately that just wasn’t enough. This game is a tragedy where nothing goes right despite how hard the characters try to change for the better, after all.

And that's my pitch. As before, if you have any ideas, feedback, or criticisms, feel free to add on. Thanks for reading to the end.

[sacred-coffin]

Rubbing my grubby little hands together. It's time to bipolar Terzo.

And, one thing for the record, I'm bipolar! So I know what I'm talking about and I'm projecting a little and that's valid

I tried to rewrite my bullet points from my google doc to sound... nicer and more professional, but it didn't feel right. So y'all are getting the raw unfiltered version from when I infodumped about this in a discord chat, hope you like it :)

ONE . He has big overarching aspirations, but also mad depressive episodes. These get in the way of him completing his goals and also make things fuzzy along the way.

He's got this big city, big social change, all of these huge goals and life paths he wants to follow. And there are times where he's really set and driven on working on it! Especially when people are egging him on, like when he was a cardinal. I imagine he had a lot of sustained manic or hypomanic episodes while he was a cardinal.

Being very dead set on a goal, possibly losing sleep over it, putting all of your time and effort on it...Also however you want to interpret the cream pies comment (sexual or food) it both lines up with something a manic person would do. SO.

I think once he's in the ministry again / papa his depressive episodes started getting harder & his manic episodes more. Erratic.

He had less people pushing & supporting him towards his goals / what he was really passionate about, so he was just . Really bitter and pulled away from people. You see a lot more of his irritable and generally temperamental side come out during this time bc like. When he has manic episodes he has so much energy to use up but nowhere for it to go! Sometimes being really angry with something can trigger a manic episode, and I think he might be prone to doing things really excessive/extreme all of a sudden to spite people. If that makes sense. Like the decision to ditch the papa robes, things like that.

Also iirc, when he was a cardinal he was really over indulgent. That is very common for manic episodes; it's very common to  develop substance abuse issues as well. I think he could be a borderline alcoholic, but he's pretty good at hiding it. Definitely better at hiding it than when he was younger, but the habit is worse when he's older

I kinda wanna talk about Terzo possibly being like, a pretty angry person. And this is definitely projection LMAO. He very much presents himself as a guy who probably doesn't have angry outbursts and such, but I think that. Well. If he's bipolar that is NOT true ok. When I thought about this the first time I was like "would he punch walls? No. His mom raised him better than that. But God does he want to break stuff"

I feel like part of his reclusiveness is to keep up this image he has to everyone-- you can't judge him or form an opinion of him in his off time if you don't see it. So you don't see him getting drunk, you don't see him being depressed, you don't see him getting mad, but god it is happening all the time

I just feel like, like, you could argue he has this sudden shift in personality at a certain point. Or maybe at multiple points. In regards to how he felt about his goals at least. Esp bc I resonate so hard with the thought that he didn't want to be the machine-man (from Metropolis, 1927), but he had to, and I feel like being bipolar explains that so so well. Facing adversity he'd get so pissed about it, but he would only let that stop him for a little bit. But he'd also wouldn't be able to make the kind of progress he did before (like drawing up blueprints or plans) because he doesn't have that same well of outside energy & support to tap into

God also. He is so delusional. He is so so so delusional.

I think being Papa ruined his mind .

No offense but like. His goals are impossible. He's chasing them so hard anyways. He's insane. Like. Like.

I don't know I can only compare this in my mind rn to my mom looking at me when I was like, 5 years old or something and telling me she was going to become an archeologist and move to Egypt. Like she was so so sure of herself that it was going to happen. Obviously it fuckin didn't,

Also also. I feel like he's not diagnosed bc I feel like it's more likely to be missed in men. Also I want to give him migraines even though it's less common in men but slightly more common with people who are bipolar and also bc it is GENUINE projection but I think the idea of Omega walking in and seeing Terzo hidden in a bundle of blankets with all the lights off like "is this a depression cocoon or a migraine cocoon" and Terzo just kinda shifts the blanket around and you see him wearing this funny as fuck eye mask. And Omega is like "migraine cocoon, got it" and just fucking leaves

Did he shave his head once and regret it? Yes. Did he get addicted to cocaine? Probably. Did he spend all of his money on model city pieces? At least twice.

I think in the end it's entirely possible he bought into everyone's ideas that maybe he is the one who should be worshiped

I feel like a lot of manic episodes & things can be so warped by the people you surround yourself with and like. Idk. Being the face of a devil worshiping cult can give a normal guy a God complex.

But a guy who's already prone to delusion and God complex??? Oh honey he's FUCKED.

[that-ari-blogger]

A Discussion Of LavenderTowne and Hazbin Hotel

So, a little while ago, a YouTube channel called LavenderTowne ventured into the Hazbin Hotel fan space to propose some criticisms and fan redesigns of the characters.

I had thoughts on the original video, but those are irrelevant because its reception was… tumultuous, and in my opinion disproportionate. The video has since been taken down, and LavenderTowne uploaded a follow up to it (link). In which she stated that her experience with the Hazbin Hotel fandom wasn’t the most pleasant, something I would like to address.

So, this post will be an academic discussion of the designs from the second video. Because I think her criticisms were interesting and because I want to show that it is possible to disagree with someone without being unpleasent.

Also, I want to give LavenderTowne a more welcoming experience with the fandom, and try to make up for some other members of the community.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (Hazbin Hotel)

I'm going to start with something that needs to be said. You can disagree with the rest of my post, but this is non negotiable:

It is never, under any circumstances, acceptable to harass someone for their opinions, especially about art. I don't care if you take issue with conclusions or perceived motivations, actions like I observed are not ok, and are not welcome in this fandom.

I hope I made that clear.

Anyway, I am going to be addressing the second video, because LavenderTowne took the first down, and I'm not about to intrude where I'm not wanted.

LavenderTowne mentioned the overarching stylistic choices, and I think that is a good place to start with this post, because they are good source of difference. Several of LavenderTowne’s criticisms are leveled at the Hazbin Hotel visual style itself, discussing what specific elements didn’t work for her and how she would personally draw things differently.

That is what I want to discuss here. Rather than the specifics of artistic technique, I am going to talk about the character design decisions brought about by the difference in style. This isn’t a question of skill, but an examination of the ideas presented.

Both LavenderTowne’s style and that of the Hazbin Hotel team range on the scale of realism, as is the nature of art, and that has caused a few of the design decisions that they have made. But it has also had a weird effect on the implied plot that is worth discussing.

Hazbin Hotel is more cartoony, for example, which means its logic is a bit more fluid. Vaggie's eye scar, for example, is shown over her hair, which isn’t how scars work in the real world.

This is a way of getting the tone across. Sir Pentious, at one point in the series, gets caught in the blast of an explosion and sent flying across the city. The design style lets you know that this is being played for a laugh and that he will probably be fine. If LavenderTowne had drawn Sir Pentious in her style, I guarantee that version of him would not survive the event, because hers is grittier (that’s the wrong word, but you get the point).

I do, however, really like the colour palette shift in LavenderTowne’s designs. Don’t get me wrong, I like the limited palette of the actual show, and I think it suits the setting more than the pastel aesthetic of LavenderTowne’s style.

But, those pastel colours are gorgeous and they are a really neat way of solving one of the problems that LavenderTowne identified and I agree with, that being how difficult character differentiation is when everyone has the same colouration as each other and their background.

Now, neither of the two options are implicitly better, there is just a different design sensibility going on.

As for the designs themselves, I actually prefer LavenderTowne’s Alastor over the original. I would like to see how it interacts with Alastor animation and transformation, but I think the design overall works better for the character. I like the horns being more pronounced, and I like that neat hairstyle. I think it's much more suited to an overly refined character who revolves around appearances.

“Just because you see a smile, don’t think you know what’s going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear! It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you’re the one in control.”

I think that Alastors original hair style is more about looking cool than looking refined. The shorter style, combined with the more prominent antlers, gives that air of someone actively concealing their more wild undercurrents.

That being said, I'm not as sold on Alastor's expression in LavenderTowne's design. This is a stylistic choice, but I don't think that the Cheshire Cat smile translates over to the alternate design as smoothly as his concept. In the original, that smile was the thing that denoted him as malicious, but LavenderTowne's design seems more huggable, at least to me.

LavenderTowne did raise an interesting point about the voodoo symbolism, a point that others have raised, and I think is worth noting. Incorporating that aesthetic as synonymous with dark magic in a setting based heavily off Christianity is funky, thematically. It's a use of stereotypes as shorthand, which carries the baggage of those stereotypes, intentionally or not. However, I am about as far from qualified to talk about this in detail as possible. I recommend that you listen to the opinions of people who know more about this than me, and who's case this is to make.

Husk’s design is another that I like, but this one I have slightly mixed feelings about. The body type change addresses another of LavenderTowne's criticisms of the series, again in relation to character differentiation. That is a strength of the video, LavenderTowne gives criticisms, and explains what she means and how she would go about doing it.

Interestingly, that body type issue is something I disagree with. I think the way that LavenderTowne has handled the issue she identified is fascinating, and one of the best parts of her process. But this is simply an issue I don’t see as a problem.

The criticism is that the silhouettes of the characters are exceedingly similar, meaning that identifying them is difficult, as well as limiting in terms of variety of proportions. I could point out Sir Pentious or Husk here, but that is arguing in bad faith because Husk is very clearly the exception to the rule, and Pentious actually conforms to her observation. Without his hood out, Pentious’ silhouette difference is in his tail, which is rarely onscreen.

The reason I am ok with this, is that Hazbin Hotel has a thing for transforming character designs. Charlie, Valentino, Emily and Serah, Lucifer, even Adam, Vaggie, and Lute, as well as a ton of others. All of these character designs shift as the story progresses, revealing aspects of them that they have kept secret. I like having the baseline similarities if everyone gets a moment where they show off how different they are from that baseline. I think that is a cool story beat that, for me at least, outweighs the problem of similarity. I’m sure LavenderTowne would disagree with me here, and that is more than fine.

Back to the point, Husk is a character who is surprisingly acrobatic and martially competent, and the slight shift in the alternative design switches him into more of a bar brawl type character. This feels like the guy who would just deck you and tell you to cool off, rather than throw something at you. He looks like the type of bartender he is, cool and calm, and ready to offer advice when needed.

The removal of the wings is an interesting choice. On the one hand, it clears up his design and makes him look more down to earth. On the other hand, it leads into my main bugbear with this design. I don't think this version of Husk looks like an overlord.

This is subjective, and I am struggling to quite explain it. But the wings, as well as his voice, give a sense of gravitas to Husk. Without that, Husk looks relatively unremarkable.

The outfit plays into this. While I prefer it and its subtlety, there is little that marks this version of Husk out as higher ranking.

Again, this isn't a case of the original designs being objectively better. This is a different design that communicates different things. LavenderTowne’s Husk is a humble bartender rather than an overlord playing pretend. I simply like the story that the original offers more.

Vaggie’s new design is both my favourite design of the four, and the one that is the furthest from the story of the show.

I love the quieter eye scar, I love the silhouette, and I think moving the ribbons to her back is a genius bit of visual storytelling.

The outfit is cool (I especially like those boots), but there's an asterisk to that, because I don't think it entirely suits Vaggie as she is presented in the show.

At the risk of oversimplifying, Vaggie is a fairly uncomplicated character. Not because she's written to be shallow, but because the show doesn't have time to explore her personality.

So, you get her past, which is fascinating, and it leaves some interesting things on the table.

For example, Vaggie has zero self preservation instinct and will burn herself to the ground for Charlie. This isn't complex, but it's remarkable how much the writers (and animators if you’re looking for that kind of thing) get out of this one detail.

Most notably, her character grows into realising that love means living for someone rather than dying to keep them safe. This culminates in the defeat of Lute, the embodiment of her past, who doesn't think to move out of the way of a collapsing building.

Similarly, Vaggie was an angel and wants to hide that aspect of herself. This makes her multifaceted in backstory, but the reveal doesn't have time to dwell on her characterisation, so it just feeds into what I said before.

I think that with another season of time to develop, Vaggie’s characterisation will become as complex as her backstory. But that doesn’t come quickly.

The point I am making is that I don't think this version of Vaggie would wear armour until the end. She doesn't think she can get killed, so why would she need to protect herself?

Which means that LavenderTowne's design would work for the last episode of the show, if it had wings, which is sacrificing the single best piece of foreshadowing I have seen in a long time. Seriously, I cannot stop gushing about those ribbons.

What we have, then, is a version of Vaggie with a slightly different story and personality. To me, LavenderTowne's Vaggie looks like a character who craves safety. She seeks Charlie because she offers emotional stability and kindness, the one person in hell who Vaggie doesn't think is against her. But she would wear the armour and outfit because of the injury. She realises she can be wounded and grabs the heaviest set she can find, the twin coloured trousers come from that desperation, and add to the imbalanced aspect of her design.

This version of Vaggie is defensive rather than offensive, and though it renders Out For Love obsolete, I find it more interesting than the original.

Charlie's design, however, I'm not such a big fan of. I'm sorry LavenderTowne, I really am. But this design really doesn't sit right with me.

Hazbin Hotel has a circus theme going on. The main foyer has a circus tent affectation, for example, and Charlie gives off the aesthetic of the ringmaster.

Charlie is very overtly the antithesis of a Disney princess, and that comes across in her design. Instead of wearing a floaty dress, she wears a suit and suspenders.

Yes, the hooves and horns being more prominent is a cool alteration that I appreciate, but the alternate outfit really doesn't feel like Charlie.

I think the difference is in the framing. To me, LavenderTowne's Charlie comes across as naive and optimistic, where the original design is more relentlessly hopeful, and that second one matches how she is in the series.

Charlie in Hazbin Hotel showcases true hope. Not optimism, hope. The type of emotion that keeps getting knocked down, but picks itself off the floor ever single time, and gets ready to try again. Charlie has no proof of her philosophy, no basis. She's not trying to recreate phenomena, she doesn't even know she can succeed. That's why she needs the hope.

I don't think that LavenderTowne's design has that vibe. Instead, this Charlie seems younger, which contributes to the naivety. It feels like it leans into her regular design, so the more fearsome transformation comes as a shock, mostly.

On the other hand, the three horn tiara element is genuinely really cool. It gives that air of reality, and hints at the transformation without giving it away. They round out the design and make the “this is a demon princess” clear.

Interactions between this Charlie and Adam, Lute, or Sarah would be interesting, as this version seems designed to foil off them, rather than the other way around. Especially Emily, this design seems genetically engineered to mirror her and make her question her ideals just through existing in the same place.

In short, this Charlie seems more gentle than the original, which might help in some aspects, but I prefer the original.

One again, this is my opinion, and not objective by any stretch of the imagination. If you disagree with me, good, that's the bread and butter of how analysis and discussion exists. But I hope I have shown that disagreement is possible without aggression.

Which brings me to my conclusion, and I have something here that I hope you will like.

LavenderTowne's designs feel like they are made for the same story, but paced differently. They feel like a different style of musical. They feel like they were made for a version of Hazbin Hotel that had more episodes and has time for subtlety, something that the original show unfortunately didn't have.

The story feels the same, but the minour changes make it seem more drawn out. The tone is different, and that effects the entirety of the rest of the story.

In other words, she is designing an AU, something she makes explicitly clear at least five times in her video.

LavenderTowne mentioned in her video that she might do a follow up with a few more characters. I would be intrigued to see this, because I want to know what Angel Dust would look like in this version of the story, as well as the actual angels and even the Vees.

I also am fascinated by how the art style affects the tone of the story. And with LavenderTowne's permission, I might have a crack at writing some of the key scenes from the show to fit this aesthetic and tone. I think that would be an interesting thought experiment.

Final Thoughts

LavenderTowne’s designs were dope as all hell, and the points she raised were worth discussing.

I love the series, but I understand that it's not everyone’s cup of tea. Content warnings should get that across, but also some people just won't like elements of it for any number of reasons, and that is ok.

I think @ohnoitstbskyen put it best in his discussion of the finale of the series. (Link). In his closing remarks, he spoke at length about people who will discover the show and the effect that it will have on them. That sentiment, boiled down, became the title of that video, and concisely says what I have taken just under 3000 words to talk around.

“This show will save someone’s life, but it isn’t for everyone.”

But let me be clear about why I wrote this.

I saw some of the shit that people wrote about LavenderTowne's original video, and though a lot of it was positive, a fair chunk was not, and I want to put my foot down. Disagreement about art is healthy, but if you think that involves harassment at all, then tell Husk he still owes me a drink.

On a lighter note, this is my first post about Hazbin Hotel, so for those who are reading my stuff for the first time, hello. I am Ari, I do media analysis, and I plan on doing a series on Hazbin Hotel, going through each song with lyrical and musical analysis once I finish my current one on Wicked. So, if that interests you, maybe stick around.

Next

[tinfoilhatsss]

Naomi is actually an antagonist

Most people have different theories about Naomi from BSD, so I thought I'd put my opinion in.

First off, Naomi is NOT an author like the rest of the BSD cast. Her namesake comes from Jun'ichirō Tanizaki's novel 'Naomi'. I'm going to be speculating about the connection between the novel and the BSD character, but I actually haven't read the novel myself. I'm taking my information from the summary.

The two members of the Armed Detective Agency without an author's namesake are Naomi and Haruno. (As seen down below)

Both are characters from the novel 'Naomi'. I'm just going to be focusing on Naomi for now, as she plays a bigger role in the novel and in the BSD plot, so I have a better understanding of the character.

Anyways. Naomi and Tanizaki's relationship has never really made sense to me. Asagiri is known for humanising his characters and making sure that all of them have motives, even some antagonists. For example...

Mori, although as asshole of a character, has an overarching need for the greater good. Although he has made some pretty hurtful decisions to get there, it's with a 'good' cause in mind

Fitzgerald wanted the book to revive his daughter to try and piece back together his family by improving his sick wive's mental state

I know this doesn't really apply to Fyodor and Fukuchi, but I have no doubt that by the end of the arc, their actions will have some sort of reasoning to them.

So WHY did he write Naomi and Tanizaki into some sort of seemingly incestuous relationship? Either or both of the scenarios below could explain their actions:

They're faking their romantic intentions

They're fake siblings

It still doesn't answer the question of what their relationship adds to the plot. It could be written with the intention of humour in the end, but Asagiri has stated in an interview that he's a fan of Chekhov’s Gun (the principle that all elements of a story are essential), which means he most likely wrote their relationship with a specific intention.

If Naomi holds a similar characterisation to the novel she is from, then her relationship with Tanizaki might not be as caring as it is made out to be.

In the novel, the character Naomi is actually the antagonist. The protagonist is an older man who becomes obsessed with Naomi and her Westernised personality. (Note: the book is set in post ww2 when America took part in the colonisation of Japan and thus became a large part of the culture there.)

The protagonist, a salaryman named Jōji, plans to gradually groom 15-year-old Naomi when they meet at a cafe. Her true nature is revealed to be incredibly manipulative. She eventually reverses the power imbalance and Jōji ends up completely submitting to her every whim.

This makes me question her role in the plot of BSD. Especially now that we actually haven't seen her in a long time (the entire Decay of Angels arc). Most BSD characters are based on the protagonists of their novels (Oba Yozo and Dazai), if not the author themselves.

Naomi being represented by the Antagonist makes me wonder if she is in fact a threat to Tanizaki. I would say that she is an ability, but Dazai has touched her before, so it's been confirmed she isn't. Could she be made by the book? Is she controlling Tanizaki, a mastermind in disguise? I think there must be more to her character than we see, or else Asagiri wouldn't have written her in.

she looks kind of sinister in the manga yknowww...

[animentality]

I’ve seen some of your posts about Star Trek, and decided that I want to start watching it. Where do you think I should start?

Oh BOY.

See, this is a fascinating question. Technically, there are several places you could hop in. I will give you the pros and cons of each.

The short answer is honestly The Next Generation (TNG) or Deep Space Nine (DS9).

TNG is on the edge of accessible and non-accessible. It's a little dated, but still stands up well to the test of time. Its stories are self-contained and often don't need context from the greater world or previous episodes. It's thoughtful and optimistic about the human condition and highly intelligent.

But DS9 is easier for the modern TV watcher to start with, because it's more realistic, grounded, and it fleshes out its characters and their interpersonal dramas more.

It's also this clean mix between episodic and more serialized, so you'll get the fun and outstanding standalone episodes, like TNG's greatest hits, but mixed in with a fascinating overarching narrative, which will have a lot of fun space battles and space politics and something you can really sit down and get invested in.

so I'm biased to DS9, as you can tell.

But I concede to TNG too.

That's my short answer.

I'll also give you my short answer proposed order too:

DS9 or TNG first

Then watch DS9 or TNG, depending on which one you picked to watch firrst.

Followed by VOY.

You don't have to watch TOS, but if you're invested by that point, it might be fun.

Then skip ENT.

And from there, you get into modern Trek.

I'd give Discovery a try, because it's definitely high octane, easy for a modern viewer to get into.

But skip Picard, which is just...awful.

Then definitely watch Lower Decks, which is really fun.

Then check out Strange New Worlds, which is pretty good.

That's my short proposed order.

But if you care...here is my LONG answer, where I explain the pros and cons of starting at different spots.

TOS: The BEGINNING.

The Original Series, commonly shorted to TOS by fans.

Pros: This is the literal beginning of it all. If you wanted to really get into the lore of Star Trek and be this mega nerd who has a strong opinion about every following Star Trek interpretation, and get your nerd credentials, then this is a good place to start. Plus, some people don't mind the "oldness" of it, because it's simple, it's silly, and it's fun. The characters themselves are fun, and memorable. The episode plots range from ridiculous and batshit insane to thoughtful and somber and philosophical. You get to watch the OGs, Spock and Kirk and Uhura and Scotty and Bones, who are all iconic in their own way. It's also a nice little ensemble of goofballs, and you'll get to understand and appreciate the silly little TOS memes. Plus, I personally find it iconic how the TOS fandom is still going strong...after literally fifty seven years. That's icon status, baby.

Cons: IT REALLY IS VERY OLD. And kind of hard to get into, if you're not looking to watch a show that is VERY dated. I fully admit that I haven't re-watched TOS much. It's just not everyone's cup of tea, you know? It has its great moments, but I very rarely recommend TOS to people because I don't want to scare them off from Star Trek! So I wouldn't recommend starting here. Maybe watch it later, after other series, to get a well rounded view of the world, but TOS is sort of an odd place to start for the modern TV watcher. Ironically.

TNG: The SUCCESSOR

The Next Generation, commonly shortened to TNG.

Pros: TNG is iconic in its own way. It has its own memorable crew of Jean Luc Picard, William Riker, Deanna Troi, Geordi LaForge, Beverly Crusher, Worf, our best robot boy Data. It has aged much better than TOS, with a greater number of standalone episodes and thought provoking plots. It has some of the most brilliant non-serialized writing of all time, with great social and political commentary that hadn't ever been discussed in TV at that point, and honestly aren't even being discussed now. Its highs are peak Star Trek, with some of the most intelligent analysis of what it means to be an evolved human being ever created for television. It takes a serious look at many aspects of humanity through the lens of "alien" troubles, and its philosophical ramblings are deep, rich, and often thickly layered. That being said...

Cons: It's highly episodic, so you won't find yourself really "gripped" by one single or even multiple plot threads. If you don't like non-serialized stories, then well, most of the stories are designed to be enjoyed without the context of the rest of them. Also, some of it is wildly dated. ESPECIALLY the first season, which is a fucking mess, with like...almost no redeeming episodes. The pilot is AWFUL. The female characters are handled...in such a sexist way that it's honestly kind of enraging. Now it DOES get better, much better, by mid season two, and pretty much starts pumping out nothing but bangers by season 3, but... there will still be some dated stuff. Plus, even the really good episodes are still paced rather slowly. So keep that in mind, if you want to start with TNG....

ALSO, extra note: The crew has great chemistry with each other, but it doesn't do much in terms of fleshing them out in the early seasons. Gene Roddenberry, the creator, really didn't want the crew to have interpersonal dramas, or even want to show them relaxing or hanging out at all. Later seasons you'll see more character moments, which are great, but... TNG and TOS kind of skimp out on showing you the human elements. You aren't often allowed to get close to the characters, see their inner lives, their personal feelings about situations, the issues they have, with themselves or others. There's a distance, this professional aura to the show, which can be kind of daunting and a little alienating, no pun intended. So keep that in mind...

But now we come to the show I am most biased towards, and shamelessly.

DS9- The REALIST

Deep Space Nine, shortened to DS9.

I must start this segment by admitting, DS9 is my favorite and I am fucking biased. That being said, I first watched it when I was 9, and didn't have any problem understanding it without seeing the other Treks. There are also a million other things it has going for it that would make it the easiest place for a modern TV watcher to hop in.

So full disclosure, this IS where I would recommend you start. But anyway:

Pros: Like I said, it did away with some of that professional distance that TNG was so well known for. The characters are richer, more fleshed out, more flawed. They don't like each other in the beginning. They have to earn their found family, and that just makes it sweeter and more poignant when they finally begin to see themselves as a family. DS9 is the "grittier," edgier Star Trek, the one that seriously tests the hopeful optimism of the future...but it never breaks it. That's important to note. It still understands the idea that humans have evolved to be better.

It covers more controversial topics in a more straightforward way. War, genocide, fascism, political instability, coups, war crimes, espionage, propaganda, religious dogma, trauma, it can get pretty heavy. But there still is this hopefulness to how characters grow and change and heal from past traumas. It also fleshes out the aliens more than TNG or TOS, taking a more nuanced perspective of them, and even has individuals who fight back against the "mono" culture that was so popular in early star trek.

As mentioned above, it also blends serialized with non serialized. You get standalone episodes, and episodes that follow up on pre-existing plots. That's where you get the nuances and the depth and the richness of the universe, as well as the interpersonal relationships of the crew.

Now for the Cons:

NONE. It's perfect.

Just kidding.

Some people don't like DS9 because of its darkness, but in just terms of where to start...I agree that there ARE some things that come from TNG that you might appreciate more if you watched TNG first. It does mostly explain these things, but the flesh comes after the bones, you know. Also, DS9 has its weaknesses in season 1, same as TNG. It has some real stinkers. It doesn't get going until season 3, and also? You know how I said it's political?

Well, some of the politics are reallllly boring. Not very sci fi, dare I say. You might find it better to watch with a guide that can tell you what to skip, because some of the early stuff is pretty bad. It also took some time to find its footing, which means there are some elements to it that might come across as just bizarre.

But anyway.

As I said, my favorite Star Trek, and where I personally started. But anyway.

Moving on...

Voyager- the Troubled

Voyager, commonly shortened to VOY.

Pros: First female captain, and she's very charismatic. For feminism reasons alone, you could start with VOY. It also has the most interesting beginning concept too. Voyager is a warship that gets dragged out and stranded in the Delta Quadrant, which is far, far from where Star Trek normally operates. So it's about a crew, stranded in what is essentially hostile alien territory, with no one to help them. Their whole mission is just to get back home, which will take them 70 years to get back to. So it has that going for it. It also has its own fascinating little crew, which has great interpersonal relationships and some great sci fi standalone stories. It does have its own overarching stories as well, which makes for some fun action and drama. Also in terms of understanding what's happening without seeing other Star Treks? Pretty good. Less connected than DS9, mostly, with a few glaring exceptions.

That being said...

Cons: Just like TNG and DS9, atrocious first 3 seasons. Also, Voy is sort of known for being a little sloppy. The writing is all over the board, ranging from mediocre to absolutely dogshit to not bad actually to pretty decent. It's a fun premise, but it's squandered a little. Characters are also inconsistent, depending on who's writing that particular episode. Unlike other Treks, it also doesn't quite meet the standard of mediocre, not even by season 3. It also doesn't flesh out some of its characters, and squanders a lot of their potential. It also has a very strange and rushed ending...also, it tries to be as edgy as DS9, but without the emotional depth, which often comes across as distasteful and even dare I say, boorish. So it has a lot going against it.

Moving to....

Enterprise- the Yikes

Shortened name: ENT

Full fucking disclosure. I fucking hate Enterprise.

Its stories are bad, most of the time. Its best episodes are still mediocre, by other Star Trek standards. Its overarching stories are terrible, with only a few even potentially interesting.

Also it got fucking cancelled by season 4, so its finale is baaaad.

Don't start with Enterprise.

Pros: Archer is great. I love Trip. T'Pol is adequate. So that's three good characters. There's one plot that's kind of cool.

Cons: It only has 3 good characters. And they are so waaaasted. As is that one plot.

So.

Moving on.

Now we get to modern trek.

Star Trek Discovery - the Doing Its Best

Nomenclature: DIS

Alright, full disclosure again. I watched two seasons of it, before quitting. But I can tell you this.

Pros: It's exciting and fresh and high quality. No more dorky little alien suits. State of the art CGI. High octane sci fi stories. Lots of death and drama and characters all hate each other and have trauma and don't want to deal with it. It's definitely made for the modern audience, and it has this like...disdain for other Star Treks. So if you haven't seen the other Star Treks, don't worry, it also has not. Not a bad place to start, if you don't care much for older shows and want something fun and new and set in space, and you like seeing phasers blow stuff up.

Cons: If you were interested in Star Trek for its hopeful future, that isn't what DIS is. DIS is more like, what if we had this one character and we focus on just her, and the rest of the crew doesn't matter? It's also sloppily written.

Now extra note: my MOM says Dis gets good by season 3. And I am inclined to believe her, because she is a diehard trekkie, and a true trekkie knows, season 3 is like...always where a Star Trek show gets off the ground.

But again. I have to admit, I never got there.

And I don't know if you'd personally like it. Maybe, if you're a fan of the more..exciting space action sci fis. If you like mega gritty war stuff, and torturing aliens to make your warp drive go fast.

But in terms of places to start...? Again, not a bad place if older star trek seems dull.

Discovery certainly is modern and not dull.

Picard- the Cash Grab

Name: PIC

Do not start with Picard. You won't get much out of it if you haven't seen TNG. You won't get much out of it if you have seen TNG.

Pros: It's good for...if you haven't seen Patrick Stewart play Picard in along time.

Cons: It's kind of terrible and messy. It also relies way too much on nostalgia and preexisting knowledge of TNG. So definitely do not bother with Picard as your first Star Trek.

Lower Decks: The Satirical Love Letter

Just called Lower Decks, I think.

Don't start here either, it is VERY dependent on you having seen every Star Trek ever. It's pretty good, but...it's satirical and to understand it well, you would've had to have seen the other Treks.

Strange New Worlds: the Fixer Upper

Shorthand: SNW

Pros: It's the only modern Star Trek that actually seems fond of the original Star Treks, while also being pretty decent just on its own. It brings back the optimism, while maintaining the high quality CGI. Its interpersonal relationships aren't bad. The overarching plot is only somewhat important, and it goes back to form, on that whole episodic thing. If you were allergic to bad rubber alien masks, and wanted to watch something from this era, SNW is the best place to start.

Cons: It might bore you a little if you weren't already a diehard Trekkie. It does depend a little bit on you knowing preexisting properties, just so far as the little wink wink, nudge nudges. It's also a little weird in that the crew doesn't quite live up to the fleshed out nuances of DS9, nor does it rise to the intelligence of TNG's plots.

So there you have it!

This took me almost two hours to write!

I don't know why I wrote it.

Something is wrong with me.

I love Star Trek.

Even the ones I criticized the most, I still like most of them.

I fully accept the Star Trek fandom's wrath too.

I know some people are bigger fans of the other Treks.

But this is my opinion, you know?

Which means I'm right, and everyone else is wrong.

[tartarusknight]

What you need to know :)

Hello darling readers <3 I'm TartarusKnight or Knight of Tartarus! (they switch depending on availably honestly)

I'm here to chat, read, and write. That being said~~~~ come and message me anytime <3 questions, requests, and kind words make my day

This is an overview of my work just in case anyone is bored and wants something to read <3 (My Stranger Things work, honestly. I've also got some Marvel, Criminal Minds, and Teen Wolf but ST is my hyper fixation now soooo)

We're Not Perfect

This is a 4 part series in which Steve and Eddie knew each other before Steve ever got with Nancy Wheeler and before he learned about the Upside Down. It's heavily inspired by music <3 (Total Words 300,395) With Playlists because I can't stop <3 This story is my baby

Part 1 - It's the Start of Our Journey?

Pre-season 1 Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson are paired together in class and they learn they work well together. (Words 22,869)

Part 2 - I just want to go home

Set during Seasons 1-3, changing canon but the overarching story doesn't change too much. (Words 85,678)

Part 3 - say you'll live for me

Set in season 4, diverting from canon almost completely but with all the same characters. (Words 63,885)

Part 4 - I'll follow the beat of your heart

And the end. The final battle with Vecna and the epilogue aka season 5 <3 (Words 127,963)

Fool

Based on the song Fool by Djo.

Steve and Nancy get annoyed at Robin and Eddie for ignoring them when they're with their band. They decide to prove that they know music better than either Eddie or Robin thought. (Words 1,488)

I know you've been hurtin'

Based on the song Better Days by Dermot Kennedy and fanart by @babysitterpng

Steve has a plan. It involves a skirt, confidence, Nancy Wheeler's ability to do make-up, the party's anxiety, his parents, and Jason Carver's temper.

And well, Steve's pretty sure he has it in the bag. He might not be smart but he knows people and there's no way he's read any of them wrong. But maybe he'll learn more about himself as the plan unfolds (Words 7,205)

This dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets

7 things that changed about Steve and Robin after Starcourt and 1 time they explained why. (Words 11,837)

I'm just gonna swim until you love me

Five times Steve had to prove he was worth love and One time someone just loved him without needing him to. (Words 8,612)

But when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you

Eddie is getting overwhelmed by the party just barging into his life without any warning after Spring Break. So, he makes a plan with an old friend of his. It works... in a way. (Words 1,932)

you're losing your memory now

Robin Buckley wasn't prepared for Steve to crash, but he had been pushing his limits for too long. He had a plan, but he never thought to tell her. He didn't want to worry her. Too bad she'll always worry about him... Especially when he collapses at work. (Words 17,784)

But Now We're Stressed Out

Eddie Munson knew he wasn't the smartest person. He never planned on college but he never planned for the Party either.

Title based on Twenty One Pilots - Stressed Out (Words 2,021)

I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me, it's something else

Steve looks over her face, “I'm not having any of you at my place. Did you see the map, no way?” He states and it's one part of his reasoning but not the main reason. “Then come stay with one of us,” Robin says and it feels more like a plead than anything.

He shakes his head and she looks angry now. “Stop whatever the fuck this is! We care about you! Let us in! We're safer in groups.” The words don't hurt as much as he thinks they should. “Not that much safer.” He spits back out and she blinks. “Max is as good as dead. Eddie is dead. And guess what! We were in groups!” The shouting makes his throat burn but he can't calm down.

A Halloween Special!!! Happy Horror season <3 (Words 22,620)

WIP - The Fallen King and the King of the Freak

Steve has to deal with the fallout of Season 2.

New nightmares, losing Nancy, kids who he's willing to die for, and Billy's new hatred towards him. He went from the top to the bottom in the school and he doesn't know how bad it is until Eddie Munson is the one that steps in to help him. And maybe he wants the help and maybe even some friends. (Words 150k and climbing <3)

[theknittingshadow]

A Shadow’s Scattered Thoughts on “Journey to the West”

Alright, people. Blame @semisolidmind for getting me into Lego Monkie Kid. Finally decided to check out the original “Journey to the West. Strap yourselves in because there will be NO organization or cohesion to this whatsoever!

I’m at Chapter 20 right now and so far…

-Wukong’s a little pretentious and entitled but, considering none of the monkeys of Huaguoshan questioned the existence of a fully-furnished palace in Water Curtain Cave, I’m not surprised.

-Shifu Subhodi definitely WAS harsh striking Wukong on the head, as I had heard about before. However, IT WAS ALL A SECRET CODE FOR SECRET IMMORTALITY LESSONS! Hallelujah, he’s not as big a jerk as I feared. Still, there are better ways to get your point across, sir.

-At first, it seemed like the book went on long tangents of unrelated stories. I began to think this was less a book with one overarching storyline and more a collection of stories. Then, I finally got to when Tang is chosen to go on the journey. I realized it was all BACKSTORY.

-The Celestial Realm is simultaneously more and less merciful than I thought. On one hand, they kept giving Wukong chance after chance when he’d get upset and beat someone up or something. On the other hand, they beat and banished Wujing over BREAKING A CUP.

-I was super confused on Lego Monkie Kid’s characterization of Ao Lie when the book first implied he set his father’s palace on fire on purpose. Continuing, it seems more like he lit the place on ACCIDENT. WHICH MAKES HIS WHOLE “AVOIDING CARELESS ACTIONS” and “MY POWES HAVE ONLY EVER GOTTEN ME IN TROUBLE” SPIEL MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!!!!!

-There is so much poetry in here, guys. So So So Much.

-Speaking of poetry, it reminded me of both the Odyssey and several Shakespeare plays where they pause to sing a song or something.

-Why does the author keep making the characters reiterate what just happened? They Do The Thing. Then they gotta explain to someone else The Thing. There’s rarely an instance of “and they recounted the events just described” and leave it at that.

-Why does the Jade Emperor need to take a carriage to go literally anywhere? Even just to the other side of the courtyard? Is it a really big yard?

-Tripitaka DID seem like an overreacting crybaby but then I thought “this is PTSD at work” and IT ALL MAKES SENSE. He gets kidnapped by ogres who kill and eat his personally chosen companions (who came from his monastery and whom he most likely grew up with as friends) before his very eyes. Of course he’s going to freeze up and/or freak out every time a monster appears and Wukong needs to leave his side for whatever reason.

-Related, crying now that you have to walk to the West seems ridiculous until you think it might be more crying about how he was nearly eaten by the dragon that ate his horse!

-Seriously, I could go on about Tang’s unusually frequent crying and how it relates to potential PTSD and delayed reaction to said trauma.

-People keep calling the disciples ugly right to their faces and I Do Not Appreciate It. On another note, Wukong is surprisingly chill about this.

-Bodhisattva Guanyin used a fillet on a bear yaogaui in one chapter. I was not expecting that. Maybe ancient ideas of mercy are different compared to today?

-I’ve read and seen SO many stories of how Zhu Bajie kidnapped the human woman he married but that’s…not what happened. Sort of. They married with both her and her family’s consent. It was only after his true appearance, huge appetite, and poor manners were revealed that her family tries to get rid of him. He keeps his wife away from them as a result. Normally, I’d say good for him for trying to cut off toxic people but his wife was described as pale and unkept when Tang and Wukong arrive. So…she’s not doing good and should really be returned to her family.

-Wukong laughs at people and calls himself “Old Monkey” a lot.

More scattered thoughts to come!

[fraeuleintaka]

Investigations 2 Cover Art

This is the 35th post in the Ace Attorney Investigations Collection Countdown: 46 days left until release!

Today's topic: the Cover Art of Investigations 2!

After Investigations 1, it's time for Investigations 2 starting, again, with the Cover Art.

This composition is very different from the one for the first game, we start very close to the screen and build into the background with the various characters. Miles is in the very foreground, looking serious and concentrated, with his hand open and stretched towards the screen looking like he intends to move a piece on a chessboard. Given how important the whole chess theme is for Investigations 2 this not only fits Miles himself really well but also this game in particular so it's a very good image choice. I also love that his cravat, due to its fluttering, is still visible over the title. You just can't cover such an important aspect of Miles' character 😉

Slightly behind him and to the right is Investigations 2's main rival: Justine Courtney (Verity Gavèlle). She occupies most of the right side and looking up at her like this with her looking down towards the screen she looks intimidating and clearly superior. Her expression also conveys a lot of confidence and I especially love how impressively the long handle of her extended gavel looks in this perspective. They really made the most out of showing it off and she doesn't even need to raise the actual gavel part to make it look epic! She's doesn't need to be openly aggressive, she's above that.

Behind Justine we have Kay faving towards the left and rubbing her nose in a cheeky way like she just thought of a great plan (probably to steal something). You can't really see much of her pose otherwise. Her hair indicates movement to the left and her Yatagarasu scarf is very prominent. Considering what happens to Kay in one particular case it definitely makes sense to put it so prominently, the Yatagarasu plot of Investigations 1 may be over but it's still a very integral part of Kay's character and her personality. In a way it also signifies her connection to her father which fits to the overarching parent-child theme Investigations 2 has.

Next to, or slightly behind, Kay we can see Gumshoe being similarly stressed like he was in the Investigations 1 Cover Art. He's sweating, moving hastily and apparently shouting or at least very animatedly talking to someone on the phone. Apart from adding more tension to the composition and implying high stakes for the story this could be a hint towards a certain plot point in the final case which definitely was one of the most tense ones in the entire game. This is even better in connection with Gumshoe specifically because one of the peak highlight scenes of Miles' and Gumshoe's relationship happens around that plot point. Not necessarily intentional but I certainly appreciate it anyway.

Directly behind Gumshoe is Sebastian Debeste (Eustace Winner), our 2nd rival of Investigations 2. He's in his pointing pose with his baton outstretched and his other hand gesturing dramatically. His mouth is wide open, similar to Gumshoe, which gives his depiction even more urgency. He looks like he's fiercely arguing with someone, maybe explaining one of his "deductions" or trying to counter criticism. He doesn't appear nearly as confident as Justine, fittingly, and also not as arrogant as he sometimes (mostly initially) comes across. I like that he isn't portrayed as goofy but as serious instead and while not exactly panicked, definitely affected by whatever is going on. It fits well to his state over the entire course of the story since Sebastian is a pretty emotional character and a lot happens that affects him specifically. I also just really love this pose of him, his pointing is so unique!

The last character in this key art, in the background behind Sebastian and Kay, is Raymond Shields (Eddie Fender). He mostly faces away from the screen only turning a little to look back over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. It gives the impression of him not being entirely there or focused on the here and now which is great to imply the connection to Miles' past that he represents and how he serves as a periodic reminder of what could've been (or could be). Gregory isn't depicted in this art but I think that's fine to not draw the direction too much into the past. The crux of Investigations 2 is Miles' present actions after all.

The last thing I want to mention is that I love the background in this artwork! The large windows and high ceiling give the impression of a grandiose hall of great importance with the colour patterns on the windows indicating this to be the P.I.C. Meeting Room, one of the most impactful locations of Investigations 2 and a very good choice of image to signify its role in the narrative. I especially love the silhouette of Iustitia, the Goddess of Law and Justice, that can be seen everywhere behind the characters, holding her sword and her scales. So relevant to the theme and such impressive imagery!

[3rdblah]

Game Show Pitch

Grab a random person to be your contestant. Experience or education in art creation/history/interpretation does not need to be taken into account.

Bring however many artists you want. Have them bring one or two (or three) of their pieces, medium doesn’t matter. The only limitations of content are staying within the show’s rating, and matching the theme if it’s a themed episode. Note that the artworks should not be ones that contestant(s) have seen before.

Ahead of time the artist should provide the producers with any meaning behind the piece or symbolisms. This is only if there are intended meanings/symbols.

Show the contestant(s) each artwork, one at a time. First they will decide if they think there is any meaning/symbolism in the piece. If they want, they can stop that round, learn if they were right, collect x amount of money if they were and nothing if they weren’t, and go the next round. (Please note that the contestant(s) should be informed that the ratio of meaning:no meaning is not set, it could be 50/50, all of one, all of the other, mostly one, etc)

If the contestant(s) are confident in their answer, they can go on. Optional for them to see the artist at this point, the whole time, or not at all. If they believe there is no symbolism/meaning, they then guess why the artist made that piece (it reminded them of their dog, they like flowers, they just wanted to, etc)

This is where it gets interesting. If the contestant(s) believe that there is a symbol/meaning to the artwork they are allowed to go on about the perceived meaning to their hearts content (still give them a time limit obv, but make it, like, half an hour) They are allowed to explain what parts of the work they think symbolize something, what that symbol is, how it all ties together etc etc etc. Just let them go buck wild. Put them on teams so they bounce ideas off each other. The more obscure the better tbh.

After a) or b), the artist (or host who was told by the artist) then declares how right/wrong the contestant(s) are. If they were right in the first part of the round, they get x amount of money (a bit bigger than the x amount if they quit after the first half). They hear what the artist submitted as the meaning/symbolism/reasoning (or just hear from the artist themself idk) and get however much more money within a certain range depending on how accurate their interpretation of the artwork is. I personally would have the artist decide how much they get, but whatever floats your boat.

If they were wrong in the first half they get nothing that round. Nbd if you said there wasn’t more behind the artwork, you learn what the symbolism/meaning is and how it all goes together, you go to the next round, life moves on. Much bigger of a deal if you spent 20 minutes piecing together details into an elaborate overarching social commentary just to hear that the entire reason behind the artwork was “I thought it would look pretty”.

This is where the devastation comes in. The embarrassment. The feeling that your deepness was entirely self deception. You spent so long making something and it turns out it was nothing (please note that nothing is used loosely here, I mean nothing as in nothing beyond the piece’s appearance, artworks made just for the hell of it are just as valid as ones balls to the walls with symbolism) We watch them agonize over all the time they spent getting no prize money when they could have been spending that time being right and winning something.

Bonus points if the rounds aren’t randomized. Extra bonus points if the producers are cruel with how they arrange the rounds. The first two pieces have some serious stuff behind them, the contestants debate over whether the third will also be like that or be for the hell of it. Based on previous rounds the contestant(s) think the next one will have an elaborate meaning, they make one up and it’s all for naught. Vice versa. Total chaos.

Basically I’m a genius and you should definitely give me money for this idea

[keydekyie]

Any advice you might have for others who wanna publish but can’t seem to get their plots in order?

This turned into a lot o.o; sorry!

lol I'm not maybe the best to ask since it did take me more than 6 years to write a sequel to book I, but my advice would be to talk it through to someone else. Like verbally. Or maybe even to yourself! Explaining the plot (or something else important to the overarching story, like themes, motifs, or character arcs) can help me recognize things to work on. I talk to my partner a LOT!

Maybe the most important thing is to get things out of your head and onto paper (or a computer screen, as the case may be) so that you aren't trying to hold a lot of stuff in your brain that you don't need to be holding. Leaves room for the ideas and better organization. I'll expound on how I do that below.

I also like to zoom in and out of the story to help me keep perspective. When I feel like I need a closer emotional connection to it, I get real granular and write some dialogue, a dramatic scene or internal thoughts, or a description of some visceral physical thing, or maybe sketch some expressions or scene ideas. Might use it, might not. If I like something a lot, it may help me to know I need to move the story in that direction. When I feel too bogged down by stuff or directionless, I zoom waaaay out and write plot outlines or emotional arcs.

There are a few anchoring pieces that I build the story around. I take care not to forget them.

And of course I keep an outline of the story going, but I think it's important to keep things flexible. Why get hung up on putting things in a certain order or doing it a certain way when maybe it's better a completely different way? I've moved huge chunks of story all over the place. If it makes the story flow better or gives a scene a better emotional impact, then I do that! No rules, babey!

I think the thing that's hardest for me with this way of writing is not being able to share things as I write them, since I don't commit to anything. It makes it hard to stay motivated, because I'm not getting constant feedback and encouragement from people, but it makes the story easier to mold and form because I don't have to fit things to whatever I've already shared. If I write a big long chapter and two months later I want to completely scrap it in favor of something else, it's fine. There's no restrictions.

Oh btw my outlines are pretty loose and silly. I have a lot of stuff like this in them:

I also like to write out the various ideas I have to resolve conflicts so I can play around with them. I don't like to choose the easiest, cleanest options, I like to pick the options that balance sense with potential drama.

Example for the fight at the Motylek altar in book II chapter 9:

[MAJOR spoilers for book II below]

One other thing I found helps a lot is to have an exhaustive list of characters with their physical descriptions, ages, jobs, families, locations, basic personalities, and relevant beliefs in an easy to read format. I don't use all the characters I come up with, but it gives me things to springboard off of and helps me stay consistent. I made up and grouped dozens of Motylek villagers that I didn't end up using, but I had them ready just in case.

I've also found that drawing out the story in various visual forms helps me. For book II I drew all over a map where the characters were physically going and when.

[MAJOR spoilers for book II below]

I also like making visual aids for other aspects of the story. Below is a chart I made to figure out Ruyak and Kaelin's growing relationship in book II with its ups and downs. It roughly graphs Kaelin's confidence in Ruyak over time (it's not to scale, it's just based on significant factoring plot points)

This is just half the graph since the other half is book III stuff. You can see there are two horizontal lines I use for reference, the lower one is where Kaelin starts at the beginning of book II, the higher one is uh... something significant that happens later lol. You can see Kaelin's confidence actually started out higher before the start of book II and went down until Loske. This chart helps me keep track of where she's at while I'm writing so I can keep her behavior consistent even though I jump around a lot while I'm writing.

A thing of note: none of this stuff is set in stone when I make it! I changed things many times as I wrote, and added and removed things willy nilly.

I don't know if any of this is helpful or not! But it's what helps me, so... y'know.

[disfrutalakia]

Hi it's evillous AU anon again!! Now i've got time and it's not 11pm so I'm going to try and dump all my thoughts on it in your askbox >:D I started conceptualizing this while the election arc was still ongoing and something i've learned is that it's really difficult to make a complicated au of a story with characters that are constantly developing. several times i've assigned characters to one role only for the literal next day have a new plotline start that makes them fit a different role so much better and then i have to change everything around again. So this is 100% going to be outdated in like a week tops lmao. I've also taken a lot of liberties with things like who reincarnates into who and what order some events happen in, so it doesn't 100% fit the structure of either story. For reference i leaned toward making the relationships line up more with the QSMP storyline rather than evillous canon and its still heavily a WIP so things are going to be changed around a lot probably even while im writing this ask. I put a lot of thought into how the original sin arc would go in this au and there's a lot of details to it so to shorten it just a little bit i'll just explain that the federation serves as an overarching force/government/scientists thing throughout the entire story. they're conducting an experiment on the islanders where they're stuck in a cycle of reincarnation for 1000 years and their lives are going to be extensively documented to see what changes about them and how their society develops. The seven sins are something dropped into the world by the codes in order to mess with said experiment rather than being created by one person's soul like in the original story because tbh i hated that. I put ElQ in the role of Irina and Bad in the role of Elluka. I think they fit really well because I can then interpret The Song I Heard Somewhere as ElQ vowing revenge on Bad for assassinating him (in canon, at least. for AU purposes he kills all the other election candidates and wins) and Bad REALLY fits the role of the morally grey immortal whos creation is marked by a catastrophic event that destroys a whole civilization and they carry the guilt of that for their entire lives. As for the sinners themselves I haven't entirely figured them out yet? but for a couple of them i've got really detailed thoughts. For reference I also made it so each of them can reincarnate as many times as needed even if they've contracted with a sin before because I didn't want to remove characters from the story entirely. so: - Lust: I have no idea who i'm even going to begin to put into this role but the most likely candidate would be Pierre i think because of the whole bed thing? - Gluttony: I had Cellbit as this because of the whole cannibalism history thing he's got but other than that I hadn't really thought about it too much. I am sad to report however that the more BBH talks about eating living beings and inedible things he may fit better. it'd also be funny for the immortal assigned the task of gathering the sins to be the demon of gluttony itself. - Pride: tbh this one is pretty difficult to assign a role to because of how specific the original arc is and how it technically involves two characters. It's not something I could've put many characters in without really mischaracterizing them and I was thinking my best bet was probably Forever but then the happy pills happened and there's no way i could've not made him sloth. So my most recent idea was to change the pride story almost entirely and put Pac in the role? But more in the sense of 'two criminals are always fucking things up for the federation get a bit too cocky and have a warrant out for their arrest, Mike getting Pac to flee and as the feds are able to get at least one of them they're like "eh fuck it watching as your platonic soulmate dies is good enough torment for the other one."' but also idk. (1/2)

Ohhhh anon so sorry I forgot to check my inbox to reply to this BUT NOW I'M HERE AND AGH THIS SOUNDS AWESOME

First of all, I love Bad as Elluka (also i'm listening to survival ma, really sets the vibes I think) and also he is such a perfect choice for the demon of gluttony, like he would die by eating himself like Conchita (also who would be Carlos I wonder? Have no clue but someone gotta sing the best Kaito song ever made, drug of gold I love you so much)

And hum lust is a difficult one to pin down, especially cause like there is not many people I can see going the Duke Venomania route and having a fucking harem? Trying to remember who I saw being attacked by the lust mob more than once in the server and I think it was Bad (he really is Elluka hum, constantly finding sins left and right)

I think that Forever could fit well on pride actually, he is not like Rilliane was of course, but he is prideful in a way. Waiting to be the best president he can and not really accepting that sometimes his ways could be wrong.

[lightandfellowship]

KHDR Re:Write - Giving Urd A More Prominent Character Arc

Hermod's rewrite can be found here.

The tl;dr:

Urd’s initial motivation: To explore the outside worlds and learn more about them.

Urd’s struggle: She realizes that when their mission ends, she will go back to her boring, normal life in Scala, once again forbidden to leave. This in conjunction with feelings of loneliness make her consider running away after their mission is complete.

Urd’s conclusion: The freedom to explore the worlds is still a motivating factor, but she realizes that protecting the worlds and sharing her experiences with her friends is her true desire, compelling her to stay in Scala and continue her training. Her loneliness can not be cured so easily, but her friends will help her work through it.

Below the read more is a rough outline of how I would implement this character arc into the story. Be forewarned that it's a fairly long and text-heavy post.

Four notes before we begin:

Rather than this being a full-fledged rewrite where I get to go ham and do whatever I want, instead my goal is to try and demonstrate how the game in its PRE-EXISTING state could have given Urd a more clear and satisfying character arc via fairly minor changes to the dialog, characters, and story. I want to see if this could have been possible without having to expend too much extra time and resources, since it seems like a lack of time/resources/budget is why her story got cut in the first place. So I won’t be doing anything drastic like creating entirely new episodes or anything like that. Same worlds. Same number of episodes. Same sequence of events. Same overarching plot.

Ideally, I would have liked to convey certain details about these characters and their story via secret reports/diary entries. Specifically, the sorts of details that would slow the pace down or feel a little too direct/clunky if addressed within the story itself. However, because of the self-imposed restriction I talked about in point 1 (i.e. no drastic alterations to the game or additions that would require extensive effort to implement), I won't be utilizing such a format, and so I will sometimes have the characters speak a bit more openly/directly about their feelings/thoughts than I otherwise would've liked.

Because I have a lot to say, I won't be providing summaries of the episodes I'm discussing as I explain my story changes. A fairly solid recollection of the game's events is...perhaps not required, but certainly helpful for understanding what I'm talking about and how I arrived at my choices.

I don't claim to know better than the writers or even be an experienced writer myself, this is just how I personally would approach giving Urd a more prominent character arc, because I think we can all at least agree that Urd didn't get enough focus in this game. If Urd's story hadn't been cut (presumably), I have no doubt that Tomoco Kanemaki would have come up with something better than what I'm proposing here.

But anyway, without further ado:

Urd's Motivation and Personality

During the flashback where the underclassmen explain their reasons for wanting to become Keyblade Masters, Urd says that it’s because she wants to explore the outside worlds and learn more about them. However, I feel that KHDR could do a better job of depicting this motivation throughout the game. Were it not for Urd directly stating her motivation in this scene, I don't think you could have ever reasonably guessed that this was her motivation based solely on her dialog and actions throughout the rest of the game.

She says her dream is to see the outside worlds for herself, and yet she rarely ever shows any particular interest in the Disney worlds that she does visit, or at least she’s no more interested than the rest of her friends are, which is to say: barely. It's a common gag/occurence throughout the game that the underclassmen are either disinterested or unsettled by the worlds and their inhabitants, and for whatever reason Urd is included in that. Sure, she’s on an important mission, but where’s the curiosity? Where’s the desire to learn more about the worlds? Shouldn’t that motivation bleed into her actions and dialog even a little bit? Even if she’s trying to reign herself back for the sake of the mission?

I think having Urd be just as indifferent/detached from the worlds as her friends is a misstep, personally. So in this rewrite, I am adjusting her personality a bit, in contrast to Hermod who doesn't really require any personality changes in order to have his arc make sense (to be discussed in his rewrite post). In short: I want her to be more excited and inquisitive in each world. I want her to be enamored by all the strange sights and sounds. I want her to get lost in thought as she analyzes some new find, her friends having to snap her back to reality and remind her of their mission. When the rest of the characters are awkwardly trying to ignore some oddity that's demanding their attention, I want Urd to be one of the few who actually shows genuine interest.

Like I mentioned, I know the characters are on an important mission and aren’t supposed to get sidetracked from their primary goal, but like, Vor and Eraqus were allowed to be curious and easily distracted by stuff, so I don't see why Urd couldn't as well, at least a little bit. I also think this personality change will provide more variety among the underclassmen, specifically in how they interact with the outside worlds.

Anyway, for the sake of not making this post any longer than it needs to be, I’m not going to list every dialog tweak that needs to occur in order to accomodate this personality change, just the most notable ones I can think of.

One last thing: it’s under-explored, but the game seems to suggest that Urd might be lonely. When remarking on how close Eraqus and Xehanort are, she says that she wishes she had a relationship like that herself. The implication seemingly being that she doesn’t feel like she has any best friends to share a special bond with. I think this desire for a friendship like Xehanort and Eraqus' may be further evidenced by the fact that she tends to tease Eraqus the most and is pretty friendly with him in a way that she isn't with the others, which makes me think that she's indeed jealous (in a nice way) of the relationship Xehanort has with Eraqus, and thus attempts to mimic their dynamic with Eraqus.

To me, Urd being lonely is too interesting of an emotional angle not to expand upon, even if the writers didn’t intend for her one-off comment to mean anything deeper. And I think her struggling with feelings of loneliness will synergize well with what I have in mind for her story.

Episodes 1-4: Establishing Urd's Character

The first dialog tweak: when Odin informs the class that they’re being sent on a mission to the outside worlds, in addition to Eraqus and Bragi expressing excitement at the news, I want Urd to be excited, too. She can still have her “Don’t sound so excited about it.” line, but maybe after she says that she makes her :3c face because she can’t hide her true feelings. Eraqus can reply with something like “Speak for yourself, Urd! Getting to see the outside worlds is a dream come true for you!”. Hermod and Eraqus can then have their usual lines of H: “Hey, this is serious! People are missing, you know!” and E: “Right. Sorry.”

As cool as the party member specific dialogs in Episode 3 can be, I’m dropping the mechanic where Episodes 1-3 let you choose your party member for the cutscenes. IMO, it's just bad for the story, because you can never focus on just one particular character and properly illustrate their unique personality; everyone's dialog has to be juuust generic enough to be easily swappable. Instead, in my rewrite, Urd is your assigned party member for Episode 1; perhaps she's even the one who requested to team up with Xehanort and Eraqus.

Not much happens in Episode 1 admittedly (it's mostly an exposition dump and premise setup), but in the very least it needs to establish and emphasize her love for exploration and learning. I think this can be easily achieved with the pre-existing Agrabah scenes. For example: when the party arrives to the outskirts of Agrabah and is attacked by Heartless, have Urd be disappointed that their first trip to the outside world was soured by their presence. When the party enters the abandoned city proper, have Urd express further disappointment that there’s no residents to interact with. Things like that. But obviously still have her be serious about their mission and the missing upperclassmen; she shouldn't seem selfish in her interests.

So Episode 1 is just kinda whatever, but It’s in Episode 2 that I definitely want her desire to learn and explore be in full force (she’s your primary party member for this episode as well. Which also synergizes with my Hermod rewrite—stay tuned for that, eventually). Everything in Wonderland is so strange and different and fascinating to her. The other characters find the world confusing and off-putting, but Urd finds it charming and unique. This does admittedly require Episode 2 to have some extra cutscenes/events since in the base game the only thing that really happens in this episode is the trial, and I think it’s still essential for Vor to be the party member in Episode 3 (where most of the Wonderland hijinks happen) since Vor doesn’t get much screentime in the second half of the game.

Two changes I would suggest: rather than the party waiting around indefinitely for the other underclassmen to show up to their meeting spot, and having the Cheshire Cat and Card Soldiers come to them, instead they get worried and decide to leave to go look for their friends, while running into these characters along the way. Then, take the tea party scene from Episode 3 and put it in Episode 2 instead, before the trial happens. You could even use this scene to foreshadow the trial by making it so that the White Rabbit fretting over his broken watch is because he doesn’t know what time it is and he fears that he’s going to be late for the trial. This will require some dialog tweaks in Episode 3 because the characters have an important discussion there that involves the Mad Hatter and March Hare, but it's nothing too hard to work around; maybe they just visit the tea party a second time, maybe they just bring up their interaction with them from Episode 2, or maybe they only talk about the Tweedles instead. There are multiple routes you could take to accomodate this change.

And rather than the Cheshire Cat directly telling the party that their friends are locked up, and the Card Soldiers mentioning the trial, instead I want the whereabouts of the other underclassmen to be more of a mystery that the party has to solve, with Urd being the one picking up on most of the clues just by being her inquisitive and observant self. Eraqus says it himself in some optional dialog that Urd has "always been good at figuring things out".

So ultimately, it’s Urd who realizes that the “trial” mentioned by the White Rabbit (because in this rewrite its the rabbit who mentions it instead of the soldiers), and the other “trespassers” mentioned by the Card Soldiers, are both in reference to their missing friends. (And maybe the Cheshire Cat gives the party a legit riddle too that they solve together, rather than being fairly straightforward in his hint like he is in the base game). Thus Urd paying attention and finding inherent worth in the strange and nonsensical world of Wonderland is what saves the day, her natural curiosity and collected knowledge about the world and its residents coming in clutch. This way, her motivations and personality can also be directly integrated into the plot rather than just being a character side story, and she gets the opportunity to shine, too.

And to tie in to the loneliness angle, I think some of the other underclassmen should be a little confused by Urd’s enthusiasm for the worlds they visit. Not in a mean or insulting or putting her down kind of way (they are friends!), but just a little at a loss for how to react when she expects them to understand her feelings and her point of view. The plot doesn’t need to highlight this too directly, just have Urd’s classmates being confused/unsure of something Urd says or shows them and then have Urd looking a little let down at their lukewarm reactions. Much like the underclassmen unintentionally leaving Vor out of stuff and underestimating her, I want this to be kinda subtle and under-the-radar. This would be mostly meant as set up for her arc later.

All that being said, I imagine Urd's loneliness isn't just because her friends don't always Get Her on a deeper level, it's also because she's not really open about her true feelings a lot of the time. Her official bio states that she's relied upon by the others, so perhaps she's too scared of burdening her friends with her own issues. However, relationships are a two-way street, and she's partially preventing herself from forming that close bond she desires because she isn't really letting herself lean on her friends when she needs them.

Episode 5: The Problem/Conclusion

So, to summarize, Episodes 1-2 need to establish her love for exploration and learning (and also give some brief glimpses at her loneliness) since she’s not present much in Episodes 3-4. Episode 5 is when her side story needs to officially complete. A rather quick arc, admittedly, but I think that’s what would work best in the framework of what the game gives us; the base game seems to suggest that her arc was supposed to end in this episode, anyway.

Events start to unfold when Urd realizes that once their mission is over, things will go back to normal and she will no longer be able to explore the outside worlds until she becomes a Keyblade Master. Something that might not occur for YEARS; heck, something that might not occur AT ALL if she fails her exam or if Scala's rules change. Thus, she starts to question whether she even wants to return home to Scala. What if, after their mission was over, she ran away? What if she got to explore to her heart’s content? She can’t imagine returning to her boring, normal life now that she’s gotten a taste of freedom. And maybe she can discover a way to cure her loneliness by finding fulfillment elsewhere? Perhaps it was Vor leaving in the previous episode that makes Urd realize that leaving is even an option.

Thus, in this rewrite, in Episode 5 when Lumiere offers Urd an invitation to stay in the castle, she actually seriously considers it. Of course Hermod and Xehanort are not happy to hear this, especially after what happened with Vor, and thus try to convince her to reconsider, but Urd is conflicted and doesn’t know what to do. She explains her concerns about being stuck in Scala forever, but is understandably reluctant to talk about how Eraqus and Xehanort’s strong bond has only reminded her of the closeness she desires and yet lacks. She loves her friends, but she doesn’t feel like she has a best friend who understands her on a deeper level, and she’s too scared of potentially hurting her friends’ feelings to admit this, so she keeps it to herself.

Xehanort doesn’t say it out loud, but he understands exactly the feeling of being stuck somewhere against your will and desiring connection and fulfillment in the outside worlds. He tells Urd that she should follow her heart on this. Hermod is taken aback and anguished at the situation, but doesn’t know what he can say to make Urd change her mind. They decide to just shelf the conversation for later so that they can focus on their mission of finding the culprits who stole the rose.

Vala witnesses this argument and decides to use what she's learned about Urd to her advantage (much like how Vidar witnessed Vor's conversation with the Mirror and then used that to his advantage). So when Vala finally approaches Urd, rather than trying to order Urd around (which didn’t make much sense as a tactic to begin with; that approach would have worked far better on Hermod, if you ask me) instead Vala tries to convince Urd that she can have the freedom she wants if she joins Vidar’s crew. She can explore to her heart’s content, with the benefit of having comrades at her side to keep her safe on her journey rather than having to run away and travel alone.

Vala, perhaps through her ambigious "vision" abilities, also correctly guesses about Urd's loneliness and tries to appeal to Urd’s desire to be understood by claiming that she and Urd are very much the same. They are both level-headed, analytical individuals who crave knowledge, and sometimes people are just too blind in their pre-existing beliefs to understand their (Urd + Vala's) "vision" of the world. However, Urd is unsure. She still doesn’t understand what Vidar is trying to accomplish, and as much as she wants to run away and find meaning elsewhere, if securing her freedom means having to harm the worlds alongside the upperclassmen, then she doesn’t want to do it. Plus, the thought of traveling the worlds with the upperclassmen rather than with her friends doesn’t sit right with her, despite everything.

Much like in the base game, Xehanort eavesdrops on this conversation, but this time Hermod has tagged along as well. In the base game, Xehanort alone eavesdropping on Urd and Vala doesn't really lead to much in the story as far as I can tell, because Urd reveals her conversation with Vala in the very next episode. I think this might be a dropped plot thread where Xehanort was supposed to sit on this secret information for a while longer before acting on it somehow, but in any case, it's no longer necessary for my rewrite, thus Hermod is now here as well. Perhaps Hermod initially tries to approach Urd right away, but Xehanort pulls him back and convinces him to stay in the shadows in the hopes that Vala will reveal something important about Vidar's plans.

As they eavesdrop on the conversation, they finally learn of Urd’s secret loneliness, and see that Vala might successfully persuade Urd to leave them just like Vidar did with Vor. Hermod simply can't let this happen, and so against Xehanort's wishes he bursts into the room, interrupting Urd and Vala’s conversation to grab Urd’s hands and tell her how much she means to him and their friends. He doesn’t invalidate her feelings, but apologies for making her feel so lonely. He never meant to make her feel like she was different or weird for her interests; he may not always understand her, but he thinks she’s amazing and brilliant. And he’s willing to help her in any way he can and support her in whatever she decides to do. Perhaps he and Xehanort even bring up how her interest in the worlds was essential to saving their friends in Episode 2, to show her that she's valuable and appreciated.

Hermod's impassioned and sincere speech along with her own misgivings about Vala's offer help Urd realize two important things. One, that she enjoys exploring the worlds so much precisely because she gets to share that experience with her friends; it wouldn’t be the same without them. Yes, maybe there’s still this feeling of loneliness inside of her, and maybe she still wishes that her friends and her were more on the same page about certain things, but sharing a laugh, fighting by their side, and just getting to spend time with them are still precious experiences for her, and not to mention, her loneliness would be so much worse if she didn’t have her friends by her side at all. It’s not perfect, but she still loves them dearly, and she knows they love her back. And who knows, maybe they’ll be able to help her work through her feelings now that the cat's out the bag.

The second thing she realizes, is that exploring and learning about the worlds and its people, though a big part of her motivation, is ultimately secondary to wanting to protect the worlds and its people. Which is what being a Keyblade Master is all about, really; a goal that can only be achieved by staying in Scala and continuing her training. And a goal that would certainly be jeopardized by assisting the upperclassmen.

I imagine Urd directly talking about at least some of her thought process here when she refuses Vala's offer and explains to her why, but the rest should probably just be implied. In any case, these two realizations make her change her mind about running away. As she says to Lumiere later:

Her home is with her friends in Scala, and she has the important responsibility of protecting the worlds she holds so dear.

And when Urd says “[The Beast’s] wish will come true, I know it.” she’s implicitly including herself in this statement. She knows she’ll gain her freedom one day and form the bonds she's looking for, she just has to be patient and believe in herself. Additionally, I want this line to now invite comparisons between the Beast and Urd: the Beast, lonely, trapped inside his castle, wishing for a genuine connection, ignorant of how he is surrounded by servants who love him unconditionally; and Urd, stuck in her little world of Scala, wanting to find fulfillment in the worlds outside, feeling distant from her friends despite them loving her deeply. Oh, and, perhaps Urd telling the servants to help keep the Beast's spirits up could parallel how Urd is now going to allow herself to rely on her friends for emotional support.

Finally, to make her untimely demise a bit more of a gut punch, I think it’d be fitting if Urd got to have some dying words. Maybe something like “But I never...got to...” Got to what? Become a Keyblade Master? See all her friends one last time? Explore all the worlds? Who knows, she doesn’t get to finish. That’s for your imagination to decide.

And yeah, that's my pitch. Thanks for reading this far. If you have any feedback, ideas, or criticisms, feel free to add on.

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

IF writers write one single book/game that's good first before you plan a series of barely coherent fanfic tropes mashed together instead of an overarching plot challenge <3

I like series personally. I mean not wayhaven length long series but I like duologies and trilogies. I feel like it gives the romance more depth and time to be fleshed out whereas in some stand alone IFs I've read the romance was barely developed before it actually happened, but at the same time the story I tend to like more in the standalone because sometimes in multiple book series it can be dragged out. But Wayhaven is on another level of dragging out, I think it would have done well with being 3 or 4 books long. Idk what other plot will be able to make it seven. I think it would have also made for a solid duology if the story was better paced and the characters and story beats were better written though. One of my main issues with some IF finished or unfinished is the way the romance is written, idk how to explain but a lot of them and how they develop I'm not the biggest fan of or either that or some of the romance options feel 1 dimensional and the mc has no sense of agency whatsoever. On the other hand there are some ifs I've also really enjoyed so I guess it depends. I would love to know more about your opinions on this topic. I think it's a really interesting point and I enjoy reading your thoughts on different topics.

Thank you, that's very sweet of you to say! ^^ And enables me to do more self-important rambling. Although I would love to hear more about why some romances work for you and others don't, since I'm maybe gonna try my hand at writing an IF eventually.

Ok, back to the thing.

Honestly my main issue isn't that there's series, it's that it's often pretty blatant that they're a series solely for the sake of being a series? And not because the author actually has enough material to justify having multiple releases. You feel me?

So like, yeah! If you're using the extra time to develop characters and plot and flesh out the world, if there's a clear progression of events and things are evolving and happening, then obviously write a series! But if you just go "Oh I have all these fun ideas but there's NO way they'll fit into one or two books, it simply MUST be a trilogy/quadrilogy/pentalogy etc etc" without even planning shit out? It's like ... Ok you have a lot of ideas but did you ... do anything with them? Do you have a plan of where you're going? A lot of the time I see announcements of "This will be a trilogy/series!" before the first book is even finished so like ... How do you know. And then you get to the second book and you realize, oh, you didn't know. You just made that up.

And you can say that "Omg Eff, you don't KNOW how these authors operate, maybe they did plan and figure stuff out and your standards are just different and snobby and rude!" and maybe you'd be correct. But I've now read several multiple-book series where you could remove entire chapters, subplots, and yes, one entire BOOK, without changing the status quo or disrupting any character development at all, by just tightening up the writing and shuffling events into previous or next books. I've also read books that were firsts in a series and came away thinking "Okay? Um? Where is this going, exactly? What's the overarching plot? Why should I keep playing this?"

When it gets to that point, I just feel like ... What are you doing, ya know? How are you outlining this shit that things are just randomly happening for no reason. Subplots dropped entirely without a word. Character development stagnating because you've planned all their progression for a different book so in this one they can't do anything to evolve at all. Why is this a series if you're wasting so much time faffing about in one spot until you've stamped the earth into a flat circle.

Also, if you'll allow me to get pretentious for a moment, as a Gamer who's studying Gaming for my Gaming Degree, I feel that the medium of IFs isn't as close to books as people believe just because it's primarily a written medium. You can have plenty of books where people faff about doing fuck-all. Those are generally not good books, but it's excused because of the medium. The author has complete authority over the progression, and the reader is along for the ride, their only choice is whether they engage or not.

However, with IFs, because you've added player interaction into the mix, the things that you put in front of the player need to be justified, need to be worth interacting with. You've already sacrificed a portion of your authority for the sake of player empowerment, so you need to give the player something to DO with the authority you've given them. If you have entire sections of a game where the player becomes too aware of how little their actions matter, how little thought you've put into what you're presenting, how the only thing they're able to change is the replies to a character's words, it becomes less of someone enjoying reading a story and more of a chore to click through the pointless options and watching your character do fuck-all to change any outcomes.

When you write a book where characters faff about, that's your choice as the author. You have absolute authority and can decide when the faffing stops.

But when you write a game, you need to engage the player, you can't faff about forever. The story does not exist without them. The things you put in need to be there for a reason, because someone, by definition, by design, will be on the other end poking and prodding at it, and if you put in shit that doesn't need to be there, then you're wasting your own effort and also the player's time.

Idk. Does that make sense?

I also disagree that single-book romances tend to be worse, IMO they usually work better for me because they're actually planned and structured as stories, as the rest of the books. If you need to rely on word counts in the millions to tell a romance, that's not great, methinks. IFs also give you plenty of time and word count for romances, as well. Like, a 100k fantasy romance is on the longer end for a book, but an IF with a 100k word count would be considered on the shorter end, so readers are plenty ready for much longer word counts and it's even a selling point, usually.

So there's really no reason to justify having multiple books to write a good romance. An IF has no material reason to fit standard tradpub guidelines, so if you need bigger word counts, it's like, go wild. One counterargument would be that IFs romance routes are generally shorter than romance books, because all that WC doesn't actually go to the individual romances but is split up between regular plot, variations and other routes, but again, there's nothing really stopping you from writing as much as you want.

There's also the problem of most IFs having a lot of romance options, but they all tend to be different people with different romance timelines, so stretching out every romance to a slow-burn in different ways just for the sake of giving every route something to hook the player in each book becomes kinda tedious and transparent eventually. So I think multiple-book romances aren't a guarantee to be better than single-book romances (not that you were claiming this, I'm just out on a mind journey rn, apologies).

Anyway, that last bit got a bit off-topic and I'm already seeing some holes in my argument that I don't wanna think about lest this post becomes infinite, but, uh ... There ya go! :')

In the end, I think it's not about what's better, but about structuring, and having a vision, and not wasting my gotdam time and attention and money just because someone couldn't write a proper outline or self-edit. Single-book IFs have just been better at showing restraint and artistic vision in my experience, hence why I generally side-eye any upcoming IF or demo that advertises itself as the first in a series.

Cuz I just don't trust like that anymore.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

if you don't mind me asking, how do you plan your fics? you're really good at giving your fics like an overarching structure and cohesiveness, I've tried planning my fics before but I just don't know where to start, mostly I just write whatever and hope it finds a structure lol

related to this

I don't mind at all, sweetheart

Also, thank you! That's very sweet. I try to have some semblance of plot to hold my porn together, lmao.

Before I explain what I, personally, do, I want to mention a writing concept a friend of mine explained to me. When it comes to creating stories, there's no wrong way of writing, obviously. But, there are different approaches to creation. And, supposedly, with writers, there are two models: the gardener and the architect.

The gardener doesn't have much of a plan going into their writing. They may have an idea, but not an actual outline. They prepare the dirt, drop in a seed, and water it and let it get enough sun. Sure, they know what kind of seed they dropped in, but they're not exactly sure about what will grow--how tall the plant will be, how big the leaves, how much it will produce, etc.? It's a little supposedly more free and seat-of-the-pants with a focus on big picture.

The architect, however, has a plan going in. Ahead of time. The plan is structured. Imagine a blueprint drawing with lots of details--specific lengths, angles, different perspectives, side notes, etc. Then, the writing is executed according to the plan. It's supposedly a little more strict and detail oriented.

The types are just different ways to go about things, though. One isn't better than the other. And I have to say, between those two types, I am certainly an architect. Yet, I have always admired gardeners. It seems way more wild and free and creative. And I, personally, think those kinds of writers find flow much better. I'm obsessive and strict, and sometimes I have a difficult time getting out of my routines, which can take some of the magic out of writing (or art in general) for me. But, I also know I am lucky to be able to write the way I do--setting schedules, making plans, forcing myself to stick to them even if I am not feeling a particular scene, and getting words out so I have a finished product with relative speed.

Normally, I plan my fics by having a concept and building around the scene or basic ideas.

What do I want to include? What point do I want to make? What thing do I want to explore?

With this series that I'm planning--without giving too much away, haha--I started with the alternative universe and the characters I wanted to play with. The alternative universe I'd been thinking about included characters with specific backgrounds. So, I knew how I wanted the characters to interact at the end, but I wanted to build up to that point rather than just cutting to the end. I thought it'd be more interesting to explore the entire relationship, not just the end.

So, with the end of the story in mind, then I thought about other scenes I was interested in including. Important moments I wanted them to have. After that, I placed in a first meeting point. Then, I got to planning the middle parts.

Side note though, with this particular AU, I ended up coming up with the title for the overall series before I had all the parts of the story. I had the AU, the end point, and an idea of how to get them to meet when I had an idea for the title. With the title and the longing for a series, then I thought about what I wanted the individual fics to be called. With all those names, then I filled in the gaps. Having the structure of possible names for each fic allowed me to get into the knitty gritty.

As for planning individual fics, I go through several stags.

The first stage is completely bare bones and looks like:

Puppy play

Puppy Steve

Collar, cage, leash, tail plug, desperation, hip wiggling

(I literally use jot dots)

The second stage is a little more detailed, giving a basic play-by-play for the fic, and looks like:

Steve has always been eager and Bucky enjoys that about him, so, he figures why not exploit it? He brings up the idea to Steve

Have them have a conversation...

Steve agrees, blushing

Bucky orders some light gear... it arrives...

(If this were a real fic plan, the plan would continue on play-by-play all the way to the aftercare/end)

The third stage is more detailed still, I flesh out all the jot dots into actual sentences, and it looks like this:

Steve gets all dopey and sweet the moment he gets hard. It's as if his dick turns off his brain. Bucky has been into it since the first time he saw it happen--intimately close to the other man with a deep, primal urge to dig his teeth into Steve's skin just from watching how he melts. His eyes going dark, his skin turning pink, and his breathing getting heavy even as he starts whimpering in the back of his throat. With the realization of his spontaneous melting, even before orgasm, Bucky has gotten more and more into it over time. If that's even possible, considering how much he liked it immediately. Bucky's also pushed for those dopey, dumb, sweet instincts more and more.

So, it's only natural to wonder how far he can take it. How far can he take Steve?

(That would be a more fleshed out version of the first-ish bullet point)

The fourth stage is taking the fic out of jot dots and putting it into actual fic format. I do this one by one, re-reading and adding or subtracting as I go.

Steve gets all dopey and sweet the moment he gets hard. It's as if his dick turns off his brain. Bucky has been into it since the first time he saw it happen--intimately close to the other man with a deep, primal urge to dig his teeth into Steve's skin just from watching how he melts. His eyes go dark, his skin turns pink, and his breathing gets heavy--panting even as he starts whimpering in the back of his throat.

With the realization of his spontaneous melting, even before his orgasm, Bucky has gotten more and more into it over time, if that's even possible, considering how much he liked it immediately. Bucky's also pushed for those dopey, dumb, sweet instincts more and more.

So, it's only natural to wonder how far he can take it, right? How far can he take Steve? How stupid can he get, panting and whining like a puppy, heeling at Bucky's command even though he wants to run wild.

The fifth stage is another re-reading.

(With changes, minor or major, depending)

The sixth stage is putting the fic through Grammarly/whatever grammar and spelling program I'm using to check my work.

(Then I copy and paste my fic into AO3 and do the formatting I need to there for tags, spacing, summaries, etc.)

I hope that answers your questions, lol.

TLDR; I start with a scene in mind usually, then build out from there. Planning takes up most of my fic writing time, considering just how "done" looking my fics are by the third stage. Planning is nice, but just seeing what happens can be fun, too, I wish I could do more of that, actually, haha. The cohesiveness mostly comes from thinking about why I want to write a fic/series. Even if the why is simply "I want to explore this kink because I like this kink" and not something life changing.

Thanks for the ask!

[cimeret]

It’s been a few days since Tales of the Jedi aired, but I wanted to check out the Ahsoka novel that the last episode seems to be largely based on. Some more thoughts and opinions about the last two episodes under the cut.

Practice Makes Perfect

Despite the fact that this was the shortest episode, and also the one that gave us what felt like the least amount of new information on the characters and events—I enjoyed it. Yes, it might have been a bit fanservicey in parts, playing on nostalgia, but not in a way that I personally found distracting. Just seeing the characters smiling and joking and being friends really felt like a much needed breather after all these depressing episodes that came before. I especially liked the little exchange between Anakin and Obi-Wan at the beginning and how Anakin later stole Obi-Wan’s joke. What can I say, I just love their whole lineage and in general I’m a sucker for the idea that small things like jokes, mannerisms etc. might be passed down from master to padawan. (I like to imagine there might have been a similar scene between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan once; Qui-Gon’s dry "took you long enough" in the Kenobi series was delivered in a similar vein, after all.)

I'm also endlessly grateful that they finally realized how important it was to translate Obi-Wan’s mullet into his animated design. The effort paid off. This is where the full power of a Jedi Knight unfolds on screen. It truly is his most glorious form.     

And on the one hand, Ahsoka trying to parry blaster shots for basically the whole episode might be a little repetitive, but on the other hand, the animation is just so well down and she moves so fluidly and gracefully, I felt like I could watch her all day! Also, Anakin’s rather cold and pragmatic "again … again …" gave off some really dark vibes, considering how Ahsoka was unconscious for a full hour at the beginning and was still dizzy and staggering around after getting up! That’s some tough love, Anakin! I enjoyed the conflicted feelings I got from watching all these repetitive scenes building up! Respect to the troopers who agreed to help Ahsoka with her training and hung around for all those hours until she woke up again.

This whole part was really bittersweet and it works so well because we all know exactly how it’s going to end …

Another thing I really liked was the overall progression of the episode, as we see Ahsoka at different stages in her life, connected in this snapshot-like manner by the theme of an exercise she performs. It was almost like an art montage. I feel like that’s where the real strength of this short episode format might lie. The Dooku episodes were great, but a complex story such as his can’t fully unfold in the short running time of the episodes and I was always left with the feeling of getting mere glimpses and impressions rather than a cohesive story. Which can also be cool, but then I would have liked them to really double-down on the idea. His first two episodes already explore the same theme anyway. I would have loved an artsy montage of him and Qui-Gon traveling the galaxy to Kevin Kiner’s atmospheric soundtrack.

An already fleshed out character like Ahsoka can really shine in this format if the script manages to show us new, overarching connections in her story. Like little puzzle pieces coming together in new, unexpected ways. Something similar could also work for lesser-known Jedi. I just think that with these short episodes, I would like it better if the stories focused more on certain unifying themes and motifs and tried less to explain personal developments and complicated character changes. Especially with a title like "Tales of the Jedi", the possibilities here would be endless. Let the Order be the main character and not so much the individual members.

None of this is to say that I don’t like what we got! As far as the official Star Wars canon goes, this is the content I’ve been most excited about in years. And this is despite the fact that I’m more of a live action fan and admittedly always had a hard time getting into Filoni’s Clone Wars.

Resolve

I am so torn about this episode.

On its own, I really enjoyed it. There were so many great things about it. Padmé’s funeral, oof. Back after ROTS, that was one of the scenes that stayed with me for a long time, and they did a wonderful job of capturing its sad magic in the animated version. Bail Organa is great in every scene he appears in, honestly. And I liked the little story of Ahsoka going into hiding, doubting, trying to live a normal life and finally finding a reason to keep fighting. It mirrors Obi-Wan’s journey on Tatooine, and I think that’s very realistic and understandable since they were both so close to Anakin. I suppose most of the surviving Jedi would probably have gone through something similar after their whole family was murdered, but of course, it hits hardest for Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

Most of the inconsistencies with the Ahsoka novel don’t really bother me. Sure, they could have simply adapted the novel or Filoni could have come up with a new and original story for the final episode. But the story we ended up getting was nice, and I’m okay with there being two slightly different versions, one in the show and one in the book. There’s so much Star Wars material that either overlaps or soft-retcons or outright contradicts each other, and I see the galaxy as more of a playground where you pick and choose the things you like the most to play with. I don’t mind Disney and Filoni doing the same. In general. I also don’t mind if, in general, they leave out the romance storylines in the process of adapting something for the screen. In fact, I actually might prefer it when Star Wars sticks to themes like friendship and family, because so far I’ve never really liked the way it has handled romance and romantic love.    

But at the same time that’s exactly my problem.

Because I could have enjoyed the episode on its own, but knowing that the role of the white farmer girl is black in the novel and quite clearly has a crush on Ahsoka… I just don’t understand why these changes were made? Yes, pick the things you like the most to play with, but if all the new toys you give us are the same bright red sand molds, what else am I supposed to take away from this except that you seem to hate anything that isn’t a bright red sand mold? I’m sorry for the metaphor. It’s one thing to decide you want to skip the romance, but then, the romantic relationships that we actually get to see on screen are purely heterosexual (and rarely a model for good, healthy relationships, but that’s a whole other point). And this episode would have been the ideal opportunity to include a queer character to finally bring in some variety! The farmer girl and Ahsoka already had a bit of chemistry going on. Sprinkling in a bit of innocent romance wouldn’t have distracted from the main story, but could have fit in nicely and organically with the characters and the plot, as can be seen from the original novel. It wasn’t even like there was too much going on in the episode already and they couldn’t have fit the one or two lines of dialogue they would have needed anywhere.  

I wish I didn’t have to think about it so much, but it really annoys me because it literally would have been so easy and I just don’t get it!

Also, Ahsoka just looks gorgeous in every scene. It’s absolutely no stretch to imagine that people might be crushing on her. Seriously, how does everyone in this show look so pretty? 

There were many other things in this episode that I enjoyed, such as the Inquisitor and his brief duel in which Ahsoka overpowers him as nonchalantly as Indiana Jones shoots that swordsman in Raiders. That was awesome and fun to watch!

But this episode also got me thinking about how I often have a hard time liking Star Wars for what it is, and enjoy it much more for what it could be. Or perhaps more accurately, for what I make of it. Like I said, most of the time I don’t have that much of a problem with it, I just overlook the things I don’t like so much and hype the things I do love, and it’s a lot of fun analyzing and transforming these stories in my own head. I often think about what I would have done differently or what I would have liked better, and I love how these characters and stories can spark such creativity and make me dream. That’s what I’m here for.

But sometimes all of this also leaves me feeling very, very frustrated.