#betray others while betraying yourself in service of the lie

[inthegardenpraying]

Molly Kazan objected, feeling that the parallel was a false one, since witches manifestly did not exist, but Communists did. It was an objection later echoed by others, but not one accepted by Miller. | For, as he has pointed out, not only was Tituba in all probability practicing voodoo on that night in 1692, but witchcraft was accepted as a fact by virtually every secular and religious authority. | To that end he quotes the eighteenth-century British jurist Sir William Blackstone as insisting that it “is a truth to which every nation in the world hath in its turn borne testimony,” and John Wesley, founder of Methodism, as stating, “The giving up of witchcraft is, in effect, giving up the Bible.” | Indeed, by the end of the seventeenth century an estimated two hundred thousand people worldwide had been executed as witches. | The question is not the reality of witches but the power of authority to define the nature of the real, and the desire, on the part of individuals and the state, to identify those whose purging will relieve a sense of anxiety and guilt. | What lay behind the procedures of both witch trial and political hearing was a familiar American need to assert a recoverable innocence even if the only guarantee of such innocence lay in the displacement of guilt onto others. | To sustain the integrity of their own names, the accused were invited to offer the names of others, even though to do so would be to make them complicit in procedures they despised and hence to damage their sense of themselves. | And here is the root of a theme that connects virtually all of Miller’s plays: betrayal, of the self no less than of others. --------------------------------------------------------- The Salem tragedy, which is about to begin in these pages, developed from a paradox. | It is a paradox in whose grip we still live, and there is no prospect yet that we will discover its resolution. | Simply, it was this: for good purposes, even high purposes, the people of Salem developed a theocracy, a combine of state and religious power whose function was to keep the community together, and to prevent any kind of disunity that might open it to destruction by material or ideological enemies. | It was forged for a necessary purpose and accomplished that purpose. But all organization is and must be grounded on the idea of exclusion and prohibition, just as two objects cannot occupy the same space. | Evidently the time came in New England when the repressions of order were heavier than seemed warranted by the dangers against which the order was organized. | The witch-hunt was a perverse manifestation of the panic which set in among all classes when the balance began to turn toward greater individual freedom. | Miller, Arthur. The Crucible

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

A2-4....this chapter. I knew this chapter was coming and I'm still shocked you ranked it so high as given how much you despise Nikei as a character, I expected this to be way, way lower for you.

Ironically enough this Chapter was the reason yesterday's review of 1-6 came out late as I was hyper analysing a Fangan which had a enomorus impact on this Chapter and that is The After Chapter 2. Which if you don't know, that Fangan casts a massive shadow over this chapter as had LINUJ not watched it, we could have had a very different A2-4.

An A2-4, might I add, if my deductions on what the original plans for it were, would have probably made you stop playing the game from how pissed off you would have been over it.

You speculate that something must have happened to LINUJ between Another 1 and Another 2 to jaded him to reality and make him believe humanity cannot change their core nature and character development doesn't exist. I'm not a mind reader so I wouldn't know but what I do know is between that tranistional period, LINUJ had to do national service (If you don't know, South Korea is one of the few countries where all men have to do mantorary national service so they can be ready when the country comes under attack, most likely from North Korea) and thus I can only imagine this was what made him think humans suck. But its just a guess as I do know LINUJ talked about him being in the army while he was thinking ideas for Another 2.

So let's get the pretext out of the way regarding the man of the hour; Nikei Yomiuri. My opinion on him when compared to yours might as well be on the other side of galaxy by how much of a contrast it is. However I also understand why you think he's a piece of shit that deserves to die, because he does do very heinious acts throughout Chapter 4, and the way he not only tricks the cast but also the player and I think that is the crux of where a lot of hatred to Nikei comes from. I personally see him as the best example of a liar character even more so then Celestia and Kokichi, as those two lie yes, and the cast fell for them, but you the player were never fooled. Nikei however casts wool not only over Sora and co but also the player, and thus when he's revealed to be self-serving and only out for himself, the player will react nuclear due to being personally betrayed. You placed faith in Nikei and he broke and that's where most haters come from.

Besides The After Chapter 2 contains Ryohei Seki, a character that I hate as much as you loathe Nikei, and when I was getting so mad at his actions, I then realised this must have been what you and all the other Nikei haters felt in A2-4. Ironically enough given how he's the reason Nikei even dies at all in this chapter you might love Ryohei. But there is one thing I do have disagree massively with you.

The idea that Nikei was always meant to be a shallow arsehole and he's nothing more then that. Because let me ask you this, if Nikei is as shallow and only cares about himself like you said he does; then why did LINUJ consider making him the main protagonist in Onmake Mode before his laptop bricked?

Because let me tell you, yes you can have unlikable and jerkish protagonists, but the player is still meant to sympathise with them. And if Nikei was this shallow selfish dick the whole way through the game, it would be very unfun and would turn a lot of people away from the game as generally you are meant to put yourself in the protagonist's shoes. And I know the next rebuttal is that maybe this is why the game got ditched. No the reason it got ditched was because LINUJ suffered hard drive failure which wiped out all his progress on Onmake Mode which coupled with irl factors was too demoralising for him to carry on. It had nothing to do with the realisation playing a a jerk wouldn't be fun.

I do know Nikei does have a least one Onmake story tied to him around the corner, which should explain his backstory at long fucking last and also some more insight into the character. Now yes the Onmake Mode Short Story with Nikei could have been a 100% jackarse in it and it is by far my biggest fear with it, but with all the confusing messaging LINUJ has said with Nikei on his character bio, I don't think it would be the case. So no I don't agree LINUJ written him to just be a arsehole for the sake of a arsehole, and heck a lot of Nikei's A2-4 more evil actions can be blamed on something else.

And that something else is Danganronpa The After Chapter 2. For those who don't know what Danganronpa The After is, its a webseries developed by Kunoe Pencil and is to my knowledge one of the few Japanese Fanganronpas out there, the other being Danganronpa Re:Birth. Currently its on Chapter 3 and in my opinion its a really underated gem of a series. But what's important is when LINUJ was making A2-4, Chapter 2 of the After came out and LINUJ watched and he realised the ideas of Chapter 2 were too similar to his vision of A2-4 and so made some very radical last minute changes, which I must also add; he also ends up regretting.

Yeah you heard me right A2-4 is LINUJ's least favourite Another chapter he's written and the one he wishes he could have changed the most in terms of how he written it. Now I don't know what part of A2-4 he doesn't like since he's never explained it and it can only be guesswork what he reversations over but my best guess, is the realisation that his rewrite of A2-4 to avoid "copying" The After Chapter 2 is stupid in hindsight and ends up hurting the story overall and he should have stuck to his original draft.

Or it could also be how he changes Sora at the last minute. You see originally Sora was never meant to be an AI, she was meant to be Akane Taira but with no memory, but when LINUJ was writing Chapter 4, this was a popular fan theory at the time, and he didn't like how everyone guessed his big twist. So he does the number 1 thing a writer should never do and that is change the plot to subvert and say "gotcha" to the audience by making her an AI. I'm not sure if this was good or bad since well I like Akane but I also like Sora and this would have made Sora be more or less like Ryoko which reduces her overall as an character.

Point is, I don't know what parts of A2-4 LINUJ thinks suck now, all I know that he doesn't like this chapter AT ALL. And while SDRA2 has witstood the test of time in terms of how it looks, I could imagine if it ever gets remade this chapter will change the most in terms of story.

This also explains why A2-4 is so weak, because it has had a massivly mangled history behind it where it was meant to go one way, but LINUJ watched Chapter 2 of the After went "Nu-uh" and changed things to prevent accusations of plagirism. Which given how A2-3 is a 1:1 of 3-3 is MASSIVE hypocrisy.

The Tower of Babel is indeed the least interesting of the locked areas in the Canon and Another series and also a very unsubtle nod from Nikei what he plans to do if you know the history behind the Tower of Babel. While a cool idea, we have been locked in areas before and the Ballrooms and the Funhouses are more fun. Especially since unlike those two there's no "get out or you starve to death" so what incentive do the others have to getting out? Its not like they are gonna die. It was just such a waste of a idea.

I do not like how Teruya behaves in this as while I understand the emotional heartbreak he suffered in A-4 and something we will discuss when we get to it, there's also the fact why he even listened to Nikei in the first place. He knows he's a Void and Void are group of liars and decievers and since Teruya's memories were coming back at that point, he would know anything Nikei was saying is BS so why does he go along with it? Its a bit of a plot and not forgetting I don't like how Teruya decides to be Tsurugi which is such a disservice to the character.

Again how Teruya was handled could be another thing LINUJ regrets in hindsight about this chapter as maybe this might have made people dislike the character so his death in A2-5 isn't as impactful.

Nikei's Void reveal was something I predicted as soon as Mikado announced there were hidden Void members due to how he behaves and the fact when you meet him in the Prologue he's in the same area as Mikado is which is a massive red flag. But again, while its obvious, the way its revealed is brilliant as he openly ousts himself, tells Mikado to fuck off in mulitiple angles and decides to intially throw himself in with Sora and co seems like things are looking up as Shinji's main philosophy is that the Voids are good but they fear Mikado so if they are nice to the Voids, they might switch sides, and so with Nikei seemly seeing the light, its proof that his ideas are working so all is left is the other Void member and then they can all unite against Mikado.

And then let's get into Nikei's plan because I will be real with you; its very similar to what Ryohei Seki from Danganronpa The After was trying to do. Both were making plans to kill someone who is the deuantagonist of the story, and have them become the blackened while a innocent person dies, a person who also fully trusted them. Someone else then sees the crime being committed and decides to meddle to save the original target and the schemer goes through a breakdown.

This similarity between the plans is also why I suspected that Nikei died when he did because having watched The After Chapter 2, I have two big deductions on how A2-4 was meant to go and when I said you would hate how it would go I am not even remotely kidding.

My first is that Nikei was meant to LIVE past Chapter 4, this is mainly because his backstory was never revealed, his execution has muitiple animation errors and problems in it which is proof LINUJ did this at the last second and Nikei wasn't his original target, especially since A-4 also faced a similar problem when the culpirt had to change due to problems with animating the execution and how the rule change at the last minute feels very BS and left-field, because it literally was done at the 11th hour to make sure Nikei dies. As such my deduction was he was meant to survive to Chapter 5 and then become the victim there instead of Teruya.

Why do I think this? Because Ryohei who schemed similarly to Nikei, lived to get to Chapter 3, and LINUJ didn't want people comparing the two so he killed Nikei off when he did just to stop that stone dead.

But that's not even the end of it. Because now comes the question of if Nikei wasn't meant to be executed, who was? Well after seeing how the murder plan in The After Chapter 2 was meddled with, I also believe I have the OG culpirt and this would piss you off even more.

It's Sora. I think Sora was meant to be the A2-4 culpirt.

ESPECIALLY when you put into the ideas she was meant to be Akane without her memories as this could have brought them back. The fact you lose control of Sora to have control over Syobai temporarly is a big factor into this, and it also explains why Sora is so out of it in A2-5, since she would have "died" in her execution as Divine Luck would have kept her alive. How LINUJ sees writing and Sora is also key as he thinks of Chapters 1-3 and 4-6 as two halfs so as far as he's concerned Chapter 4 is similar to Chapter 1. He also thinks Sora as a decoy protagonist as the true protagonist in his eyes is Yuki Maeda. Now this would come off as fridging but to be perfectly frank, LINUJ fridges a lot so this what I see as the most likely explanation based on watching The After Chapter 2 and knowing it scared LINUJ into changing A2-4.

Remember when I said you would HATE the OG A2-4 if my ideas are right? This is why because the fact your most hated character of all time lives to fight another day, laughs at the heroes while doing so, while Sora gets to be on the chopping block? I would highly suspect you would have quite playing the game then and there.

And here's the thing, I don't even know if Nikei being this self-serving was so that LINUJ could justify killing him so quickly in A2-4 or if he wasn't meant to be like that but then Ryohei was like "Stop right there criminal scum" Like the changes to avoid being compared to The After were so eleventh hour that a lot of what happens in the Class Trial and afterwards is LINUJ trying to avoid The After comparisons.

Yes everyone besides Yoruko is an arsehole and this is when the writing flaws of SDRA2 really comes out. It IS interesting to see Sora go this direction as this is not protagonist material here and something nobody saw coming. Its also quite highly emotional and the mystery itself is interesting.

If you can't already tell I do not like A2-4 one bit, and its so much lower on my rankings but that's mainly because I know how much of a shitshow was going on in the background and how this chapter got destroyed due to LINUJ fearing he's ripping of The After Chapter 2 which I find is bullshit and reeks of insercuity from him.

Ftr I'm not blaming The After for why A2-4 is the way it is, because its a underrated gem and its Chapter 2 is a compelling and emotional rollercoaster I highly recommend watching. Its all on LINUJ for feeling the need to change so much due to fears people think he's unoriginal.

Shinji is also such a obvious character to kill off and really I just feel can't we go one Fangan when Chapter 4 doesn't kill the big guy? Please? Is it harder then not having double deaths in Chapter 3? And yeah he was the last good guy left as Yoruko was the only person who looks good in A2-4 and then afterwards she goes crazy. And remember that LINUJ actually wanted Yoruko to be more deranged and crazy.

I haven't. I do not know if any of LINUJ's ideas would better or worse for the game if they were in, though I think I know what your answer would have been; worse.

Kinda ironic that this chapter Nikei hijacks the virtual world from Mikado and makes it all glitchy and that's' also a metaphor for how this Chapter is like from a writing perspective.

I know I've talked WAY more about behind the scenes stuff and what could haves for this but that's due to how much its had a impact on this Chapter as a whole. A2-3 is basically "Okay 3-3 is copied" and that's that. This had a original idea but then LINUJ watched another fanseries, felt people would accuse him of ripping off that series, and then decided to destroy this chapter at the literal last second, and the scars show.

I also think Sora doesn't even find out its Iroha who tried to kill her. Its not brought up and while we the fans can guess due to the CG, Sora never once gets mad at Iroha for trying to kill her, unless that happened in the information overload that was A2-6 and since too much happens there, its extremely easy to forget stuff. Ironically enough I think Iroha is the reason Nikei's plan fails since with Mikado singing praises in Iroha's room in A2-5, it implies he doesn't have Divine Luck and was relying on Iroha's to defeat Nikei's and since Iroha is too scared to oppose him, she does so.

Point is, the knowledge that this chapter is such a clusterfuck due to LINUJ not wanting to be compared to a completely different Fangan that I don't even though many Another fans were even aware of has completely killed any enjoyment I have for it. Is The After more popular in South Korea then it is in Japan? I don't know, but even if it wasn't, it doesn't warrant ruining your story beats because you want to be seen as "original" bro Another 1 copies a lot of the canon series and the previous fucking chapter was a literal copy of 3-3. Yet A2-4 was the expection to this?

Its very hard for me to enjoy this chapter when I know it could be so much more. Would my deductions be right? I don't know. Would it made the story better or worse? I don't know, some might be better and some might be worse. But what I do know is that this chapter is a mess and a mess LINUJ has regretted making.

Again apologises I didn't talk much about the actual story, but there was so much behind the scenes fuckery going on with this Chapter its beyond imaginable. And unlike with say A-3 or 3-5 you can sympathise with the creators since it was events out of their control, A2-4's messes were all on LINUJ. And plus I just feel very dull about the chapter as a whole. And this is why A2-4 scores so low for me due to how garbed the chapter is.

The good news is that this is also the most behind the scenes messed up chapter as the others I can talk more about the actual story.

//I think people kind of misunderstand how I generally feel about Nikei, but if I can compare it to anything, I feel the same way about Nikei Yomiuri as Mod Bubbles feels towards David Chiem.

//I do not like who he is as a person, how he treats people, or the shit that he has done. For me, he is one of the most irredeemable bastards in Fangan history, and I loathe the fact that he has such a substantial fanbase.

//However, I will relent and admit that I do think he is a well-written villain, and handled expertly in this part of the story in particular. I do not have to like a character for me to admit that they are written well in the context of their game.

//Another example that I used in the analysis as well is Towa. I despise Towa as a person and I hate the fact that he exists, but he does exist, and I am forced to admit that he serves his purpose well within Ultra Despair Girls narrative. Sure, he's on your side, but the game never truly frames him to be a character you could hope to get along with.

//I'm aware of how national service works as well, and in some regard, I do think that it's a pretty reasonable concept. I feel like being put through the ringer like that could really humble a person, but at the same time, I sympathize with LINUJ for what he might have had to go through during that time.

//As a Briton, I can't speak for Korea, nor do I want to. And I need to preface that despite how much I seem to shit-talk him, I don't dislike LINUJ as a writer or a person. The impact he's had on the Danganronpa fanbase is unquestionably large, and generally, I think we're better off for it. If he hadn't made Another and Another 2, several other brilliant Fangans wouldn't exist, so the man deserves some appreciation.

//As for the stuff about the Omake...I'm sorry, but I simply don't think that would matter.

//Ideally, if we ever do find out what happens in the Omake, and we learn more about why Nikei is the way he is (because as far as I'm aware, Nikei is the only member of VOID, including Mikado, who doesn't have a known backstory) but if the Omake with Syobai and Iroha is anything to go by, I'm genuinely not holding my breath.

//I think the Queen of Despair Omake with them was interesting, but it also really solidifies the fact that Syobai and Iroha haven't really learned anything from the killing game. They're both still kind of cheating, selfish shirtbags. And Iroha had far more catalysts to be humbled than the other VOID's did.

//And of the four of them sans Mikado, Nikei was the one who felt like he had his head so far up his own ass that he only ever wanted everybody else around him under his thumb. Sure, maybe the abundance of notes that LINUJ has on him signify something, but do any of them give any real indication why he is the way he is or what he hopes to achieve with Ultimate Luck? I don't think they do.

//And yeah, the stuff with Teruya is a big oof, but when it comes to trusting Nikei, you could say the same thing about the rest of the cast as well. He immediately outs Shinji is a potential traitor, and that causes unrest despite the fact that Nikei is a VOID, and Shinji is just an outstanding guy who literally hasn't done anything wrong this whole game.

//Sure, not everyone believes Nikei, but no one outright argues against him here.

//Also, all of that stuff is fairly interesting, but I need to note two things:

//First of all, I don't know if I actually said this in the analysis itself, but I think I would have PREFERRED that Nikei be a Survivor despite how much I hate him. Regardless of whether he developed, or if he got the same treatment he did here, he would have made the final chapters a lot more tense than fucking Iroha did.

//And second, hey, I already had to go through losing Kaede. I'm not gonna say losing Sora and having to play the rest of the game as Syobai would have made me happy, but I would have stuck through to see if LINUJ managed to make it work in the end.

//And yeah, of course I wouldn't be happy if Yoruko had turned out to be more deranged. I'm very happy that by the end of the game, she's the only one who comes out the other side as kind of a decent person, but I did honestly think for the longest time that she was going to end up being the secret sixth VOID, and the REAL Mastermind behind the game.

//It's easy to see how that could have been a setup, because it mirrors Yuki's relationship with Akane T. in the first game. Akane was his closest friend, partner, and potential love interest, just as Yoruko was kind of the same for Sora. So it's also a way of giving Taira a taste of her own medicine, albeit indirectly.

//I can't ultimately hold any of this against LINUJ entirely, even though I do think it's no one else's fault here. It does suck that happened, but what I think A2-4 ended up being was okay at the end of the day. It's still better than the two chapters that came before it.

//Also, I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm choking on his dick right now, but let me explain how this is from the perspective of another Fangan creator.

//When creating fan-made works, it’s generally expected and accepted that they will draw heavily from the source material. This is because fan creators pay homage to the original by reimagining its characters, settings, or themes, which is pretty prevelant and evident with Another 1.

//Obviously, with A2-3 and V3-3 being so strikingly similar, I'm not making excuses for that trial ending up like a collosal dumpster fire, but mimicking aspects of the canon work aligns with the essence of fan fiction.

//In contrast, borrowing ideas from another fan-made work can feel more like crossing into someone else’s unique creative territory. Fan creators often strive to bring something personal to their projects, making even unintentional similarities with another fan-made work a sensitive matter.

//Drawing inspiration from canon is natural and inevitable because everyone engaging with the fandom uses the same foundational material. But if a chapter of LINUJ’s work closely resembles another fan-made work, regardless of whether he intended for it to or not, it might appear as though there was deliberate replication, even if there wasn��t. This perception could lead to criticism or misunderstandings about LINUJ’s originality and intent, making him more apprehensive about such parallels.

//Which is also failing to mention that, most of the time, fan creators often feel a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect within the community. Even if they don't know each other personally, it's kind of like working in the same department as somebody in an office, albeit unofficially.

//LINUJ may worry that similarities to another fan work, even accidental, could be interpreted as dismissive of the original creator’s efforts. This concern could be compounded if the other work is especially beloved or if its creator is someone LINUJ admires or interacts with within the community. And as you've said, despite its slow progress, TheAfter is one of the more popular fangans to arise in the early era.

//Also, to make a long story short, it's much more likely for LINUJ to get a set of strong words from Kunoe Pencil and/or their fanbase than they would Kodaka and the fans of the main series.

//And I know this because its happened to me, although I didn't exactly feel too badly affected by it. When I was writing for Danganronpa ReProgrammed, the scene in Chapter 2 where Chihiro reveals his gender is basically the same as how Ayumu did it in Chapter 2 of RebirthVoices. And I wasn't shy about it, nor did I try to hide the direct inspiration, but some people still got on my ass about it, and I don't blame them.

//I was a much more inexperienced writer back then, and if I had the chance to redo it today, I might at least rephrase it differently.

//In fandoms, canon works tend to be vast and widely shared, making overlaps in inspiration or themes with canon feel inconspicuous or unremarkable. On the other hand, the fan community is often much smaller, with prominent fan creators being well-known within it. A resemblance to another fan’s work might stand out more sharply, leading to a greater likelihood of scrutiny or direct comparisons.

//And of course, unlike professional works of canon, fan-made works often aim to carve out a niche within the fandom by offering a fresh perspective or unique twists on the source material.

//LINUJ might feel a strong desire to uphold his reputation for originality and creativity, and I don't blame him, considering what he does do originally are the best parts of the Another series.

//Any resemblance to another fan-made work could feel like a threat to this image, even if such fears are unfounded. This might make him overly cautious and insecure about accidental parallels with other fan creations.

//So in short, I do not approve of LINUJ's actions. But I understand them.

-Mod

[queenoftheboard]

He knows she isn't asleep. She may be good at pretending that she is, but he has come to know the cadence of her breathing when she is asleep, and right now, she is not. He's content to let her pretend for a while, though. Tucked beneath the blankets of the hotel bed, her head on his shoulder, hand on his chest, she seems content for now to simply lie together in the quiet. The bedside lamp on his side is still on, but he isn't reading, isn't going to get up any time soon, isn't watching the TV. He can make the excuse that he doesn't want to move and wake her up, even if she would know he's lying, but the truth is, he simply wants to be able to look at her.

For how utterly despicable he is, for how so very fucked up he has become over the course of his life, somehow she has found it in her to fall for him. Of course, he knows that she has her own darkness, other sides of her that are well-kept secrets until she chooses to let someone in on them. But it doesn't change that he loathes many parts of himself that she can't put a stop to, can't be rid of. Does he even want to be rid of them? He has become so content with who he is, and now he knows someone who loves him in spite of it.

To that end, he would leave the lights on all night simply to watch her. The gentle rise and fall of her back, her long hair splayed out around her, her skin soft and speckled with the imprint of his fingers and mouth. Her lips curled slightly into a gentle smile as she had nestled in beside him. She cannot save his soul from damnation, but she makes him despise himself perhaps a bit less than before; and, if he is damned, at least he knows she will be there with him, upon a throne in hell, where he can continue to kiss her hands and slip his hands up her thighs and stand beside her as her king.

♕ unscripted asks . always accepting

For most of her life, Eirene hadn't moved in a way that didn't have a clear objective to be achieved. As complicated and long-winded her plans could be, there was nothing she did that wasn't calculated to help a piece fall in a certain way in the bigger puzzle the woman orchestrated - and that had included relationships with other people. Employees, enemies, stockholders, ignorant masses to be manipulated, the very few advisers, partners in crime - the labels varied, but they were all commodities; they all served a purpose.

Or at least that was how it should be.

The mere idea of her sharing a bed with a man without a hidden agenda (and with no payment at the end for professional services rendered) would once have been laughable to the Quinn's president. Feelings, emotions, attachment - these were weaknesses; Eirene had been raised to see how blood relations meant only pain and how people (even the ones who were supposed to look after you) would inevitably betray your trust and plan for your death. The only way to stay alive, the blonde learned, was to rely on yourself only.

And yet, there she was - very physically leaning on somebody else; it had started by enjoying a bit too much the company and mental stimulation he provided, then growing concerned for his breakdown episodes and the audacity of anything else inflicting torment over Mr. Fox, followed by an inexplicable possessiveness and a constant need to justify retaining his services and summoning him to her office. Quinn needed legal advice, but it could have been provided by anyone of his firm - why did Eirene need Nathaniel?

When had a mere pawn been promoted to such an interesting role?

And there it was - the beauty of the unknown; the thrill of the unexpected. For one so controlling and who had micromanaged every single aspect to her routine, Eirene had failed to see the roots taking place, tying her to Mr. Fox as if separation would one day become impossible. And now, after linking limbs, swallowing shared moans and knowing how he felt about it all, how could she act any differently?

His darkness had met hers and together, they were unstoppable. Mr. Fox had seen something holy where there had been only sin, greed, an eternal hunger for more. And he had been the only thing (the single one) able to satisfy a craving that had left unimaginable holes in her soul and haunted her very core.

How could one ask a woman to go thirsty again once she had finally experienced the sensation of being saved by an oasis?

"I've been thinking, my dear," Eirene said at length, discarding the theatrics of any pretense of having been asleep; it wasn't as if the lawyer couldn't tell - he had always been able to read her better than most, particularly when his gift fell on deaf ears and he had to develop other senses. The head of the Campbell family moved, shifting her head so there was a way to look up, peering into Nathaniel's eyes with the intense focus of a bi-colored gaze. Her lips pulled into a smile, the type which announced something unorthodox or criminal at best; it was what Eirene did best, after all.

"I believe I have an idea to dispose of the Chief and release ourselves from the shackles," the blonde murmured, a hand going to his chin and holding the lawyer there gently - a gesture that was both affectionate and commanding his attention to whatever she was going to say next, "And once we've done that - how would you feel about rebuilding DisCity with me? Forget Eastside, my love," the words, so foreign on Eirene's tongue, seemed to ignite a spark of a different sort in her eyes, turning the turquoise and ruby of that trademark gaze even brighter, "We will rule over the entire city like kings and queens of ancient times."

[sakusafilm]

This fic of yours is so good! Even though i hate kiyoomi for being such a bastrd😣 i feel like i can relate to the reader so much! The reader really deserve better! Not only she is failing but her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore and cheating on her😭 i really can't imagine how hurt is that😭 did u plan on writing a part 2? Kinda wish he's regretting or begging her to come back tho:')

Anyway, welcome to tumblr!:)

was really thinking of doing a part 2 !! so here it is. hope u like it 🍰

in which kiyoomi sakusa begs for you to come back.

sakusa x fem!reader, kita x fem!reader, angst, they fought and like punched each other, mentions of bokutitties LMAO

part 1

© sakusafilm. do not repost.

nine years.

you spent nine years of your life with kiyoomi sakusa, just to fall apart.

you always believed that people, indeed, just come and go. some of them will be just seasonal. your high school friends, your college friends. for some reason, you lost a lot of connections through the years. and it's not like someone's at fault, it just happened. because, well, people come and go.

but with kiyoomi, you never expected it to happen.

you were so sure that he is someone that you will spend the rest of your days with. you were so sure that he will marry you someday. you were so sure that he is a permanent one. he wasn't just a boyfriend or a partner, he was your bestfriend. so you never expected it.

although you knew that falling out of love hurts, it was the betrayal that is killing you. because falling out love isn't inevitable, but betraying you... like he never loved you... is beyond all of this. it's his choice.

after leaving sakusa's apartment, you moved to a smaller one near the hospital where you're working. you had nothing but some personal things that you tried to fit into your one and only luggage. but that's fine, you know you won't be staying at home much. the plan is to tire yourself out until you pass out.

you chuckle at your own self-destructing thoughts. you want to pass out and find out what hurts more, slamming your butt against the floor or kiyoomi's words. ah, you're going crazy for real.

for the next three months, that's what you did. work your ass off, volunteer doing the things you don't have to do so that you'll have an excuse to stay in the hospital. you basically lived there and if it weren't for some upperclassmen who nagged you, you really won't go home.

your review for the next licensure exams did not stop while brainstorming about your next individual dissertation. and you love tiring yourself out for things like this. you prefer this than think about kiyoomi again.

“sakusa kiyoomi for the first service ace of the game! nasty as always!”

today is different.

you can't escape him and his famous ass today. everyone, like literally everyone, is talking about the next match between adlers and black jackals. this is a highly anticipated match—so every phone, laptop and television around the hospital is on it.

after the adlers lost to jackals a few months ago, this is the most awaited revenge.

you're scribbling random notes in the quarters as your colleagues cannot contain their excitement towards the game. some are throwing awkward looks at you. they know your relationship with kiyoomi, and even if you didn't talk, it's obvious that you're over because of the continuous dating articles about him for the previous months. your colleagues never asked why, but they are hardly trying to be sensitive towards what you feel. you appreciate that, but they don't really have to.

you really understand how kiyoomi is famous and you cannot avoid him all the time so when their stares became too bothering, you looked at them, “just enjoy the game, guys. stop staring.”

“s-sorry, doctor!” someone said, “we just—”

“it doesn't matter to me, so please don't mind me and just enjoy watching.” you chuckled at them.

it's a lie, ofcourse. it does matter to you.

and even if you understand that kiyoomi is famous and all that shit, it still hurts. just hearing his name hurts. hearing and realizing that he's been doing so well hurts. because... why are you the only one miserable? why does it seem like you're the only one who got hurt? he continued in winning, being admired, being loved.

it felt unfair.

“bokuto caught the ball with his titties again!” they laughed, “he's literally my favorite, god! i'm starting to think that he's actually practicing that move in training!”

“better put that chest to use.”

you wanted to laugh and watch with them about the game like you used to. but you cannot endure seeing kiyoomi again even for a second because even after six months since that day, no progress has been made.

even if you work until you pass out, or read and try to retain information in your head—you still remember him. you still love him. and who can blame you? god, you fucking spent almost half of your life with that man. you grew up with him. you showed him parts of you that you can never show to other people. you believed him, you know. genuinely.

“seems like msby will win again.”

you wanted adlers to make msby eat dust this time out of bitterness, but that's not happening at all. seems like everyone in msby trained so hard for this match. atsumu miya is on fire with his sets, shoyo hinata showed new moves, kotarou bokuto can even joke and play around, and kiyoomi sakusa isn't being playing around with his spikes. he has always been so competitive with volleyball but today, there's something different about him. like... he's mad and going insane at the same time.

seems like you have to wait for another game before it's msby's outside hitter 15's turn to eat some shit.

kiyoomi scored so much with his spikes in the game. if it was an official game, he probably became the mvp. in the locker room, atsumu glanced at sakusa who's been staring at the floor too much. bokuto hummed as he tries to read the mood of the room and shoyo made face, trying to make him shut up.

“stop staring,” sakusa, as always, has some great intuitions. everyone knows that. that's why it's a riddle for the three boys why he did what he... just did. to be frank, they are annoyed by it. especially atsumu. he knows how much you love his moody teammate, he watched how much you supported him from the sidelines.

“you were on edge the whole game,” miya commented, “it was a nice game but you have to know that being angry disrupts a lot in the system we built during practice.”

“i...” sakusa tried to search for words, “i'm just a little fired up earlier.”

“you're not fired up, omi.” miya says, “you're so mad, you're trying to ease the anger in you.”

“shut the fuck up. are you a therapist?” sakusa scoffs.

“it's so obvious.” atsumu answers, “you fucked up real bad. hope you know that.” kiyoomi looks at him, “and no, i'm not talking about the game.”

he knows. he fucking knows.

forgetting kiyoomi sakusa is the hardest thing you ever tried to do your whole life. the memories are following you around. taunting and haunting, like those dreamlike days suddenly became a nightmare.

you know exactly what you need to do: move on. there's no other way but to move forward. you cannot let sakusa have the luxury to ruin more things for you. you deserve better than mopping around for a man who left you first.

so after a year, you started meeting new people. a lot of colleagues tried to set you up with a date with their friends. you agreed, ofcourse. you're single, a professional, beautiful. you can definitely agree to it. and these dates reminded you how huge it is out there.

it was fun and amusing to see men try so hard to please you with what they have. one time, you had a date with this lawyer who just talked about the cases he loved handling. it's pretty interesting for you. a lot of them are really interesting. but not consistent.

“you better have fun, dr. __!” dr. uchinaga has been nagging you to meet his nephew for a lot of times already. he waited until you finally agreed, “my nephew is a gentleman. very responsible and smart. i really think that this will work out.”

he's a senior doctor in the hospital and you couldn't reject it, but to be honest, it's making you curious too. he's been sweet talking about his handsome and responsible nephew for months now, and even told you that the man likes you too. at last, it's happening.

this one felt different. you don't know why but this makes you nervous.

you arrived at the restaurant five minutes early from the time that dr. uchinaga told you. it's a michelin five star restaurant in the middle of tokyo, very famous to tourists because of their traditional japanese food.

“uh, a reservation under dr. uchinaga—”

“a reservation under dr. uchinaga—” you looked at the man who spoke in unison with you.

“kita shinsuke.” you almost choked on air. you blinked, couldn't believe the gray-haired man infront of you. your lips parted as you stare at him.

“i think we should be together tonight.” he uttered with the same confidence you remember from years ago.

no way. yes way.

you're dumbfounded as you stare at kita shinsuke but when you managed to offer his arms to you, you mindlessly took it and walked with him inside the restaurant. this is a joke, right? kita shinsuke? the kita shinsuke? inarizaki's former captain? your high school crush?

he is your date tonight?

your heart is racing. something about seeing shinsuke again after years is making you excited. god, you were head over heels for him before you met your damned ex. back then, everyone's gushing over the top five aces of japan or the miya twins, and then there's you admiring shinsuke from afar.

you admired the calmness in him. you admired his precise words. there's nothing extraordinary about his plays but no one can beat him in the mindset department. he is not just book smart, he is wise. especially if compared to teenagers back then.

“do you—”

“do you—”

shinsuke chuckled, “you first.”

you chuckled too, “oh, i was just going to ask if you remember me but then i remembered that it has been like... ten years? so... this is probably a coincidence...”

“oh, not really.” he answered. your lips parted. your face doesn't show it much, but disbelief is crawling under your skin. but, he doesn't know you. or atleast he didn't care about his admirers back then.

“my uncle showed me a picture of his favorite junior. i wouldn't agree to this if i don't know you,” he says, you figured that out, hell! that's just so him, “so yes, i remember you. and i bet you... still remember me?”

“i do!” you quickly told him. damn, how could you forget? you remembered travelling to hyogo just to watch their final match. you brought a banner you did to cheer for him. you were such a fangirl back then, “i do... remember you. i mean— i—”

he chuckled, “let's not talk about high school if that makes you awkward.”

shinsuke made sure that you are comfortable with him throughout the dinner. he is true to his words. he did not ask about high school and kept asking about work. you decided that it would be fun to go to skytree after dinner and he agreed.

you already know this since high school but kita is different.

all this time, you talked to people who wanted to impress you. you never felt that with him. is it because he's confident enough? you're not sure, but you feel like it's deep rooted to the fact that if this ends, it won't be his lost, but yours. dr. uchinaga is right, he has a very responsible and amazing nephew.

“if you don't mind me asking...” he said, “you're not with—”

you looked at him, “i am not with him anymore. yes.” you looked at the view from the skytree.

lo and behold, japan's night lights.

“i think i won't be here with you if i have a boyfriend...” you chuckled.

“right.” he chuckled back, “it's rude to say good to hear, right?”

“yes, that's rude, kita.” you laughed.

the drive home was fun. shinsuke insisted to drive you. he talked about the farm and how he just went to tokyo again for a little vacation. he's staying in the suburbs, loving his best life quietly. and you can't stop yourself from answering, “that's so you.”

it's embarassing. it's as if you know so much about him!

“you know me well,” he commented, “what else do you know about me?”

he gave you a small smirk, you chuckled, “oh, i know a lot. like the way you watch your teammates whenever they are in game like a fox. or the way you clean the comfort room in inarizaki—”

he suddenly laughed, “alright, alright. you were such a fangirl back then. to be honest, the cheering doesn't matter to me.”

oh, you know.

“but when you started not showing up in games, it kinda felt dull.” you were stunned, “so if you ask me if i remember you, i do. you are loud everytime we are in a match and i don't have a lot of supporters back then compared to the miyas, so... kind of hard to forget, honestly...”

“thought you were annoyed by those cheers.” you told him.

“i didn't mind. that's all.” he answered you.

when you and kiyoomi started dating each other, ofcourse, you stopped supporting and going to kita's games. but now that you're out here, hearing what he thinks of you years ago, you cannot help but ask yourself: what if you rejected sakusa? what if you continued supporting shinsuke?

“i can go home from here.” you told him when you saw the convenience store near your apartment. he stopped the car slowly, “thank you for today. i had so much fun.”

“me too.” he smiled, “i'll go home to hyogo tomorrow but will be back for the weekend again. would you like to... uhm...”

“see each other again?” you asked him, “i don't mind, if it's not a bother to you.”

“it's not.” he immediately told you, “i would love to know more about you.”

your stomach felt heavy the moment you stepped out of the car. you waited for kita to drive away first before you started walking home.

the thought of being back in the first stage of getting to know someone makes you feel... angry. kiyoomi actually wasted your time. the years you spent together. and now, you don't fucking know you can actually do this again because the fear of shinsuke dropping you once you invested everything to him is inevitable. it's already rooted in your trauma.

if a man who was with you for nine years can do that, what more for a man that you just met again today?

you sighed at yourself. you have to stop thinking for a moment. it will be okay. kita is so different from kiyoomi. and besides, he's just trying to get to know you. it's not like you'll enter a relationship immediately with him.

“__,” you stopped walking. your heart stopped. your hands became cold as you slowly face the man who called your name.

in a black hoodie, black ballcap and black facemask. lean and tall with his curly hair, after a year of trying to build these walls against him, you realized how you haven't made any progress at all. sakusa kiyoomi stands across from you, the only thing you can see are his eyes.

the lamppost where he's leaning is lighting his face up.

“sakusa.” saying his name again has a bitter aftertaste.

“can we talk?”

“we have nothing to talk about, kiyoomi.” you firmly told him, “leave.”

“just tonight, just... hear me out... baby—”

”do not!” you exclaimed, tears threatening to fall, “do not fucking call me that... do not fucking come here like it's my fault that i don't want to talk to you... do not fucking come here like i should listen to you! because i don't! i owe you nothing!”

”ofcourse... ofcourse, baby...” he removed his mask and took a step closer. you took a step backward and looked at him again.

“it's been a year, sakusa. just leave,”

“it's all my fault. i know.” he says, “i have no excuses. i did it. i kissed another woman. i betrayed you. i ruined everything. i ruined us. i could rest but i chose to do the shittiest thing that i could ever do to you. i wasted everything. it took me a while, but i know that now.”

“and what do you want me to do? take you back like nothing happened?” you remarked, “i am not a pushover, sakusa. i you genuinely loved me, you will never do that... you will never even think of it... but you still did...”

you turned your back from him.

“i miss you so much,” god, he's so cruel. he's a fucking asshole for doing this to you. and you can't allow this. you can't be tamed by this, you can't forgive him so easily, “i am stupid and foolish. but i still love you, __. i just want to tell you this, i just want you to know. you don't have to tell me anything. but when i told you, back then, that i don't love you anymore... it was my pride talking for me...”

you still love him too. but if there's one thing you learned from all of this: it's love being not enough. it's not enough to make you stay. it's not enough to forgive. because you can be angry to those who you love, and that's okay. those feelings are messy and confusing, but they are valid.

“it's over, sakusa.” you said, stopping yourself from tearing up in front of him before finally walking inside the apartment.

but for kiyoomi sakusa, it's not yet over.

after that night, he constantly sent you gifts at home and at the hospital. it varies from flowers to chocolates to snacks to coffees and everything he knows that you love. sometimes, he would wait infront of the lamppost again but you won't stop walking and you won't give him even an ounce of attention, leaving him in emptiness.

on the other hand, shinsuke has been so consistent too. video calls on your free time, dates on your day offs. he would travel from hyogo to tokyo consistently to be with you. he's making you try new things— that secret starbucks recipe, the pink tulips that you hated before, the dark chocolate that you never tried because you were so inlove with the milk chocolate.

“thanks for today, uh,” you stopped tracking of the dates you had with kita already, “do you want to go to my apartment? it's just, uhm, you told me that you want to see this new netflix movie and i also want to—”

“i'd love to.” he smiled at you, “don't be nervous, it's just me.”

you smiled back at him. it's been five months. for others, it may seem fast. but for you, it's already slow enough. shinsuke has been so considerate enough.

he held your hand as the both of you walk to your apartment. it's still early and you're so sure that kiyoomi won't be waiting outside. you're so sure— until you saw his figure waiting. your eyebrows furrowed and you stopped walking. shinsuke looked at you.

kiyoomi is standing there, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. immediately, kita figured it out, “think i have to go—”

“no you don't,” you looked at him, “please don't go,”

he looks at you and slowly nodded, holding your hand tightly as you walk with him. sakusa stands up properly, looking at you and the faux haired boy holding your hand tightly. the bouquet fell on the dust. regret, anger and pain crawling in kiyoomi's system. sakusa knows kita shinsuke, your crush. before him, there's kita.

“__,” sakusa called your name.

kita stares at him.

“please leave, sakusa,” you said, “you see, i don't have the time to talk to you or to even treat you like a guest. just... leave...”

your eyes met his and slowly, a pang of guilt and pain went through your system. these days, you've been thinking why that sensation of guilt and pain has been washing through you whenever you look at him, despite being angry. despite of everything he did.

is it love? you don't think so.

or maybe it is? you're unsure.

because if it's love, maybe it's the love you had with him back then. the love he wasted. the love he discarded like trash for temporary pleasure. and maybe, you will keep hurting for him, for the both of you, because you will continue to grieve for the lost chances. you will keep hurting for each other and think about your what could've beens. you will keep grieving for the memories and the photographs you shared. you will keep hurting for what hurts because you're human.

but it doesn't mean that you'll want him back.

slowly, kiyoomi bended his knees. kita's eyes widened, and yours too. he kneeled in front of you. his pants being dirtied by the dust on the ground. like a bouquet of flower losing his it's life, sakusa kiyoomi is begging you to come back to him. right now. in front of shinsuke.

“stand—”

“you jerk!” shinsuke took his collar and gave him a strong punch, “stop making her feel guilty! stop bothering someone who is doing everyone to forget about you! you wanted this! you ended things! you—”

”kita,” you calmly called his name, “please stop.”

shinsuke calmed down with that, moving away from kiyoomi and going behind you. he got too carried away, and now he's letting you handle this on your own.

“go home, omi.” after so long, he finally heard you call him by his nickname again. making him tear up.

“i don't know what's home anymore,” he whispered, just enough for you to hear.

“then build one again.” you answered, “nurture one again. start over again. because omi, this isn't home anymore.”

“is that what you tried to do?” he asked.

you nodded at him, “i changed the way i drink my coffee. i changed my favorite flowers. i really don't have to, but it helps. it helps a lot. i changed my routine. i built a home from nothing when you left me. and if i could do it, you could do it too.”

“baby—”

“kiyoomi, forgive yourself. we are just meant to fall apart.” you whispered.

“i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry,” he said.

“you were amazing and painful to love. you brought me feelings that i never thought i could feel. and the past nine years of my life has been such a rollercoaster ride. i am still thankful to you, for taking care of me, for loving me, for enduring me. so please go home... go home and rest... because you can't keep doing this anymore...” you said.

silence embraced the three of you. the wind is almost whistling to your ear. your heart is racing as you grasp kita's hand.

kiyoomi slowly nodded and looked at you, “are you happy? genuinely,”

you nodded at him.

sakusa looks at you tonight like he will always love you. and you remember him back then, being so in love with you. tears started falling through your cheeks.

it's over.

kita shinsuke is inlove with you.

so when you started not going to his matches, it started being so dull for him. the annoying, loud girl is not cheering for him anymore. he never envied the attention that the miya twins has been getting but it sure as hell good to hear someone shouting his name from the audience.

you found out that you're dating sakusa kiyoomi in social media. he knows that it's you, because you have that smile in your pictures with him. and then he thought, right, she's from itachiyama. it's even a riddle for him how you managed to travel to hyogo everytime he has game. but he shouldn't be thinking about that now, because he will never see you again.

until it's not what happened and he managed to see you again. for a date. does that mean that you broke up with kiyoomi sakusa? after all those years?

when he confirmed it, he couldn't let go of the opportunity. he doesn't care if he travels from tokyo to hyogo every single day, that's what you did for him in high school, anyway. he will answer your call in a blink of an eye, hear your rants about that toxic colleague that makes it hard for you to work.

“shin!” tears filled your eyes as you hugged your boyfriend of two years, “i can finally have my second specialization!”

your dreams, your aspirations, your hard work. he loved every bit of it. he loves hearing about it.

“ah, i'm so proud of you,” shinsuke chuckled to your ears, “marry me.”

you chuckled, “i will. next week, right?”

finally.

you realized that time was never a factor. it is not a hindrance if we don't let it be one. a nine year relationship could fail and a two year relationship could be your happy ending, you will never know.

there's only one thing you know, though.

you and shinsuke... you love each other.

[blueteller]

Why is Cale so lovable, actually? What's his secret??

Here's the thing: despite his flaws, KRS-Cale's charisma is insane, even for protagonist standards. Why is that?

Sure, it's a standard protagonist quality to use the ✨Power of Friendship✨ to save the day, but Cale has the unique ability to – completely unintentionally – turn EVERYONE around him into simps, sometimes even his enemies. And that, bizarrely, includes the audience. No don't lie to me, I've been in this fandom for a month already, I have eyes!

So, how does that keep happening, exactly??

To answer that question, allow me to first introduce you to a very important concept for healthy relationships: the 5 languages of love.

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Physical touch

Acts of service

Receiving gifts

A no, this does not apply only to romantic relationships - it's ALL relationships. Every person has their own preferences, both in showing and receiving them, usually 2 or 3 of them being the most important ones for a person. For example, I'm a "words" and "touch" person myself: I like hugs and people telling me they care about me. Pretty simple concept.

So, here's the thing. I've been re-reading TCF, and I came to a very important conclusion: Cale, completely by accident, absolutely excels at all five love languages.

It's so subtle you might not realize it at first. It does't sound like someone with such a closed personality, does it? It's especially confusing when you consider his background: an abused orphan who was pretty much always alone. But perhaps because he never recieved much affection growing up, he currently compensates by subconsciously sharing what he always wanted to receive, yet never got as a child. And because he ends up in a world where he's surrounded by abused children who didn't get enough affection, it's so darn effective, winning people's undying love and loyalty instantly.

Let's look at these one by one, shall we?

1. Words of affirmation

Cale has a tendency to accidentally say exactly what the listener needs to hear. But it's not all bluff, and not all luck. Cale is actually quite wise. He gives proper words of encouragement, based entirely on his knowledge and judgemment. For example: he tells Choi Han that he can protect people. He tells Raon that he should live freely and that he's great and mighty. He tells Alberu he deserves to rule the kingdom. He tells Mary not to "listen to nonsense". He tells Rosalyn she's reliable and capable. The list goes on and on.

Cale might not be saying "I love you" directly, but he is saying "Good job, take good care of yourself"... which pretty much amounts to the same thing.

2. Quality time

It might sound ridiculous, but... taking down Arm and saving the world is actually their perfect family quality time. Laugh if you want, but I'm serious! They're not a regular family, after all. They were all hurt, scarred and/or betrayed by the secret organization at some point. By destroying them and saving the world together, Cale not only gives his friends a purpose - he is also giving them closure. Revenge, retribution, healing, moving forward... it's all there. THAT'S some quality time!

3. Physical touch

While he's certainly not hugger or anything (not counting the Choi Han battle hug or Alberu's showman embraces, those were always an act), Cale is not averse to touching people either. Head pats for the children are quite common. Cale also touches people on the shoulder a lot, have you noticed? Like when Jack cried over Hannah, or when Cale congratulated Choi Han on a job well done after rescuing Raon. It's subtle, but it's there: his touch means support, affection and respect. It definitely counts.

4. Acts of service

Pretty much everything Cale does ends up helping other people, one way or another. Considering the sheer scale of Cale's actions, it's only natural that combined with the other love languages, it makes others feel great admiration towards Cale. He might not like it, because he sees those acts of service as "self-serving". But I think Cale was the most honest about it at the beginning of the story: when he gave On and Hong bread for the first time. "You don't need a reason for things your heart draws you to."

Cale actually, genuinely wants to help others. It's just he's so overworked already, he doesn't want the expectations and responsibility that comes with other people relying on him. As an orphan, he was made to believe that taking care of his own interests is inherently selfish, but somehow, he only applies that when thinking about himself. Despite everything, he actively encourages others to take care of themselves while neglecting himself. No wonder people love him.

5. Receiving gifts

Despite liking money so much, he's extremely generous. He lets go of five billions when selling Toonka – whom he "doesn't even like" – some documents back from the magic tower pretty much "just because". Sure, Alberu told him to do it, but Cale wouldn't listen to him if he didn't want to. You'd think his previous life of poverty would make him greedier than that. But while he steals from bad guys with no remorse, he gives to his allies freely with even less remorse. Sure, he expect them to "repay" him with their services, but you'd have to be blind not to notice how beneficial those deals are for everyone involved. And his kids? Cale downright spoils them. Sure he "scams" Raon by letting him pick one magic gemstone out of hundreds, or a single coin out of Alberu's pockets... but that's just responsible parenting more than anything.

And remember how he asked Basen and Lily what they wanted as a gift at the beginning? There was absolutely no ulterior motive to that: zero. He did it literally just because. Remeber when he gave Raon an additional pouch with healing potions when he just met him? Or when he gave Choi Han the same pouch when he sent him off to find Lock and Rosalyn? Yeah. Cale does that pretty much all the time in the novel.

Conclusion: the reason why Cale is so lovable is because he's already so loving 😊

[galacticwildfire]

Illicit Affairs | Obi-Wan Kenobi

Twelve

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Amidala!oc

Rhea Amidala meets Obi-Wan Kenobi when he and his master come to her younger sisters aid and he discovers the queen's sister was once a Jedi, expelled from the order for her unwillingness to forgo love and attachment. The two stranded together on Tatooine find common ground despite their differences, and above all a hope within the other for something greater than themselves.

He hopes for her to rejoin the order, while she hopes for him to leave, and both are left reeling from their illicit affair, until ten years later he is once again called to her sister's service and they are catapulted into each other's lives by a war that will set them on the same path of secrecy and tragedy.

Word count: 8.5k

Tags/warnings: sexual tension, angst, mentions of children and pregnancy, mentions of former substance abuse

A/N:

~

~

~

We return to the temple doing our worst to ignore that unbearable tension that leaves me wanting to repeat some very specific memories of that night together. Maker knows no one else has ever made me feel the things he did, emotionally and physically.

"So once we find Kamino in the archives we go and speak to the cloners," I say, trying to keep my mind on the mission at hand but it's hard when just the sight of him is enough to make me weak. "Try to find out who they're selling weapons to?"

"Precisely," he answers. "If it is the Separatists supporting these attempts they're contracting a bounty hunter to carry it out, and regardless of theories to get to the bottom of who exactly is ordering the attacks we need to get to the bounty hunter."

There's no point trying to get information from Dooku, he is too well guarded and inaccessible and he'd only lie, so we have to do this the long way. Even then, something in me doesn't want to admit it could be him, I don't want to believe my master would betray me so deeply. I can't.

"You know I once considered bounty hunting or at least something along those lines," I tell him and he blinks at me in surprise.

"Really?"

"When Padme's reign ended I found myself bored to death signing report after report and meeting with adviser after adviser. I wanted to be out in the field doing something," I say and he nods along smiling to himself knowingly. "Maker how I hate a desk job."

"I always did find it strange you found yourself in a life of public duty," he says and I realise he truly has kept tabs on me. "It never seemed to fit."

"It didn't," I laugh. "The palace still refers to my stint as Princess of Theed as a reign of terror."

"And now?" he asks me, able to sense easily I am not fulfilled by my life.

"Well, we're hunting a bounty hunter right now so I suppose I'll get a taste of it," I comment and he makes an amused sound as we enter the Jedi temple. "I miss fighting."

"Well my dear, I'm sure we're going to get one," he assures me as we wander into the archives  and begin looking through them for Kamino trying different spellings but nothing's coming up.

"That's odd," he says, continuing to type into the system with no avail.

"Quite odd," I agree and ask "Do you want me to get someone to check our archives on Naboo?"

"No it's alright, I'll call for assistance," he says and soon enough the Chief Librarian Jocasta comes over.

"Master Kenobi, and oh sweet Rhea," she remembers fondly and I'm certainly surprised anyone who knew me at fourteen would remember me as sweet. "I was very disappointed to hear the council voted against your return."

"Well so was I," I laugh awkwardly, Obi-Wan nodding in agreement, and tell her "I'm here on behalf of Naboo assisting Master Kenobi with some official business."

"We're looking for a planetary system called Kamino," he tells her. "It doesn't show up in the archive charts."

"Kamino," she ponders. "It's not a system I'm familiar with. Are you sure you have the right co-ordinates?"

"According to my information it should appear in this quadrant here," Obi-Wan says pointing at the hologram. "Just south of the Rishi Maze."

"I hate to say it, but it looks like the system you're searching for doesn't exist."

Obi-Wan and I share a look, feeling that something isn't right.

"Impossible," he says while I remember the ignorance of the Jedi well. "Perhaps the archives are incomplete."

"If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist."

She leaves us to ponder this and we take one look at each other before each continuing to search for it and I make a transmission to the archives on Naboo.

"Hello this is General Amidala can I be put in contact with-"

"Rhea," a surprised voice says and my eyes widen realising it's my mother, having forgotten in between her busy life of being a house wife and trying to force me to be one she volunteers in the archives. It may be a harsh assessment but it's not without foundations. "Well, this is a surprise."

"Mom, hi," I say awkwardly, Obi-Wan looking over in equal surprise. "So I take it you're the volunteer archivist on duty then?"

"Yes honey I am," she says and pull my com away as I sigh, not wanting to speak with her right now. "Why are you calling?"

"I'm just on some business and was wondering if you could search something up for me."

"Oh what sort of business, for the senate?" she asks and I wonder if she's even aware of the attempt on Padme's life, from the news she'd have to be but I doubt Padme's told them anything more than the bare minimum, likely downplayed it as much as she can.

"Jedi business," I say putting her on speaker. "I'm working with the Jedi on this investigation for Padme."

"Oh how exciting," she says despite how absolutely morbid the situation is and I can't help but drag a hand over my face as the questions begin. "Are you working with that nice Jedi boy we met during the invasion?"

"I- yes," I stammer in surprise at that particular question, wondering how she can possibly still remember him, but he does have the habit of leaving an impression. "Obi-Wan is here."

"Hello," he chimes with a playful grin while she rattles on and I am quickly regretting this.

"He was a handsome boy, you should bring him home for dinner." Obi-Wan chuckles at that and playfully raises his eyebrows at me not knowing the half of it while I want to slam my head into the table. "It's past time you and your sister brought someone home to meet us."

"Yes Mom," I sigh while Obi-Wan has to stifle his laughter and he's lucky I can't look at him long enough without blushing to glare at him. "But look this is important, I need you to search for Kamino, it should be just south of the Rishi Maze."

There's a pause and some typing before she says "Yes, now what about it."

"Hello there," Obi-Wan says speaking up. "So it is there?"

"Of course it's there," she says and we share a confused look. "Is there a problem?"

"Not at all mom, thanks," I say, us realising something is quite wrong with the archives. "I'll be home for a visit soon hopefully."

"Lovely, now make sure you bring Obi-Wan," she says and I shake my head as I hang up.

"She knows my name," he says, impressed with himself. "I wasn't aware I made such an impression."

"Oh trust me she remembers any man I'm within six feet of. I can't talk to her without her trying to set me up with a husband," I tell him bitterly and explain. "My sister Sola has two kids now which kept her happy for a while but now she's onto me and Padme both about marrying and having children, much to her disappointment she hasn't been successful."

He tries to keep his voice light as he inquires "In all these years, you never found anyone to love?"

He's a sweet fool and so I tell him "My sweet Obi-Wan, you ruined all others for me."

Little did I know until I laid eyes on him again that my heart was always devoted entirely to him and he frowns, seeing for the first time that I'm right where he left me. Somehow time went on for everyone else, but not me. Still nineteen in my fantasy, in my dreams running back to him and begging him to leave with me. Running away together with no destination or plan.

I wonder if somehow he's still there too.

"But do you want it?" he asks me quietly. "Marriage, children?"

Now that's a question I've never truly asked myself, not when my family's tried to use it in an attempt to placate me, even if I've always known deep down I have a maternal instinct that's only grown stronger with the years, one I've tried to deny but it's become difficult. If I had refused Dooku's offer I may well have done what Sola did and have children on my own, I think I would have been happier for it. 

Still I lie.

"I don't know, I mean I'm nearly thirty, I should be thinking about it but-" He watches me quietly as I confess "Despite leaving the order to be free of the code, to be able to love, it seems I haven't."

But that's a lie.

I have loved, I've loved madly for a decade now. A love that left me knowing there would be no other because I could never imagine it with anyone but him.

And somehow I was just fine with that until now.

"You may as well rejoin the order," he remarks with a seriousness to his voice I don't expect and I try to laugh it off but he is being genuine.

"That didn't quite go to plan last time."

"You never know," he says, still with a glimmer of hope that breaks my heart. "You were Anakin's age last time, things are far different now and the council's seen it as well."

There's no arguing with that even if we both know it is utterly impossible and I look at him not knowing if I'll be able to walk away from him again. I'm not as strong as I was, not now I know the pain that awaits me in leaving him.

If I have learned anything in reuniting with him, it's that I will love him for the rest of my life no matter how hard I try not to.

And so I say something I never would have dreamed of before he came back into my life.

"Well, if you can convince them maybe I'll consider it," I say putting it into his hands with the comfort of knowing this time there is no hope for it, and he leans back in surprise, not daring to say anything that could make me change my mind as he takes the challenge on board.

"I'll see what I can do," he promises me, squeezing my hand and pain shoots through my heart knowing well it is just a dream. "Now, I want to take this issue with the archives to Master Yoda before we move on to Kamino."

I nod, finding it too strange for my liking as well and so we walk through the temple a reasonable distance apart until we come to find Yoda training a group of younglings and I can't help the smile it brings to my face and catch Obi-Wan watching me with a smile of his own.

Perhaps he knows the answer to his question better than I do.

"Younglings," Yoda says getting their attention. "Visitors we have."

"Hello Master Obi-Wan," they all say in sync and my smile widens.

"Hello," Obi-Wan smiles at the younglings. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Master."

"What help can I be Obi-Wan?" Yoda asks as some of the younglings wave to me, and Obi-Wans question does indeed play on my mind. Kids, I never truly let myself dream of them and instinct used that maternal instinct in fostering Padme and her handmaidens, but seeing Obi-Wan with them makes me feel a desire I've never let myself have before. 

"We're looking for a planet described to me by an old friend," he tells Yoda. "We know it exists in other archives but the system doesn't show it on our archive maps."

"Mmm, lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has, how embarrassing," Yoda says and I laugh with the kids as he instructs the blinds to be closed and for them to gather around. Obi-Wan activates the map reader. "Clear your minds and locate Obi-Wan's wayward planet we will."

Stars fill the room and while Obi-Wan points to where the planet should be they circle around him, and he's never looked so beautiful as he does in this moment, so gentle and soft spoken with stars surrounding him.

"It ought to be here, but it isn't," Obi-Wan says and I have to consciously remind myself to conceal my feelings in the force. "Although gravity is pulling all the stars in this area towards this spot."

"Hmm, gravity's silhouette remains," Yoda ponders. "But the star and all the planets disappeared they have. How can this be?"

"They would have had to have been purposefully removed from the archives," I say, unable to find another explanation. "They appear on Naboo's archives but not on the temples."

"Mmm, General Amidala is right, erased from the archive memory it was," Yoda says and instructs "Go to the centre of gravity's pull and find your planet you will." Yoda walks us out of the room as the younglings go back to what they were doing. "The data must have been erased."

"But Master Yoda, who could empty information from the archives?" Obi-Wan asks. "That's impossible isn't it?"

"Dangerous and disturbing this puzzle is," Yoda says, something in my stomach churning as if I have a piece of it already. "Only a Jedi could have erased those files, but who and why, harder to answer. Meditate on this I will."

"Master," I say suddenly and he and Obi-Wan turn to me. "Is there any way you can see when these files were erased? They could have been missing for days or years and to know a timeframe would help us greatly if it's related to this case."

"Suspicions you have," Yoda says as Obi-Wans brows draw together. "Share, please do."

"If the Separatists are involved it also stands to reason Count Dooku is involved," I tread carefully, trusting my gut. "If there is something occurring on Kamino he is involved with could he have erased it from the archives before he left the order to cover his tracks? I know it sounds absurd but does it not make sense?"

Whatever schemes his master has, he took Maul's place after his death and at that time he was still very much welcome in the temple. If he was working with the Sith as long as ten years ago...

Yoda makes a contemplative sound and Obi-Wan nods along in agreement but keeps a careful eye on me. "That- that could be possible. He only truly became estranged from the order after Master Qui-Gons death, but the confederation was not formed until several years ago so it could not possibly be related to the plot against the senator."

This is something bigger, something far more dangerous than any of us could conceive. Well, anything they could conceive. 

"Of course, I only wanted to be certain," I say, having also learned in the past years the benefit of downplaying my own confidence in my theories to make myself less of a target, to be overlooked. 

"Meditate on this I will," Yoda continues. "Something darker afoot I suspect."

He returns to the younglings and Obi-Wan and I head outside to his transport.

"I think you may be right about the archives," he tells me. "It seems to be the only explanation we can find."

"But for now we must leave it in Yoda's hands," I say, not wanting to linger on the subject of Dooku. "Perhaps we'll discover more on Kamino."

He looks at me carefully. "You used to have so much anger for the council, now you willingly trust Master Yoda, what happened?"

"I got older, and hopefully wiser," I say, looking at the temple, somehow having become the opposite of what Dooku wanted. He sought to tame me, berated me for my poor habits I'd developed with substances and lack of control, instilled in me a disciplined that's allowed me to think with a clearer mind so he could work with me, and in doing so I've been able to work through my issues. Mostly. "I slowly learned there is no point harbouring anger, I became too tired of it to let it consume me anymore. Yes there are moments where it's appropriate but it's bitterness that leads to the mind and soul becoming twisted." He tilts his head towards me in surprise. "I've made peace with them Obi-Wan, I see no point in holding onto anger, I let it go a long time ago now."

The last words are a lie, but as long as he believes them it doesn't matter, and he nods, quietly impressed and rests his hand on my shoulder. "I may yet give Anakin to you to teach."

I laugh as he walks me out to the hanger. "Oh no that little maverick is all yours, I'll keep Padme, we may argue over politics but we always find our middle ground."

"Yes well, I definitely wouldn't want to get caught in the middle after seeing you two before we left," he says looking at his ship, a single seater starfighter. "I do hope they are alright."

"As do I," I sigh and look at him knowing we have a long journey ahead of us but feel confident in a way I haven't in a long time with him by my side. "But we're taking my ship."

He's almost offended "What's wrong with mine?" He gestures to it as he tells me "It is one of the finest starfighters made and it isn't even on the market considering it was commissioned by the Order."

"Yes Obi, your ship is impressive," I assure him but point out the obvious "But do you want me sitting on your lap all the way to Kamino? I wouldn't mind but it would be awfully impractical."

He flushes at missing that obvious complication and I raise a teasing eyebrow.

"Alright," he agrees after a moment of consideration. "Your ship it is."

"And I'm flying," I grin as I lead him back towards Padme's apartment.

"Well you can't be anywhere as bad as Anakin," he remarks. "I trust knowing you it's armed."

"Very much so," I assure him. "Hopefully we won't need it but you never know."

"I'd say it's safest to assume we will," he says, both of us knowing it will inevitably end in a fight and he's fretting. "Does your ship have-"

"It has everything your precious starfighter does," I chuckle as he follows after me, too caught up in his safety protocols to notice he'd fallen behind. "It's a transport ship so it even has a bed."

I mean it innocently to ensure him it's well fitted with necessities but he has to clear his throat. "Perhaps we'd get into less trouble trapped in a cockpit we can't move in."

"We'd find a way," I tease but look back to see he's actually nervous. "I promise not to seduce you into my bed while we're on a mission."

"While we're on a mission?" he repeats, nothing being said about afterwards.

"Let's just try to make it to Kamino and back without taking our clothes off and call it a victory," I say and somehow we both know that might be considerably more difficult than we'd like to admit and go against my better judgement in saying "Then we'll see if we're wiser than we were ten years ago."

I'm glad for the physical distance between us as he says "I dare say wisdom does not come with age."

The look in his eyes is enough to make me want to cross that dangerous line we walk.

"You're right, it doesn't." My throat is tight now as I say "Come on, let's go back to Padme's apartment and get ready to travel to the outer rims."

"Yes," he says and clears his throat. "We best get on with the mission."

When we reach it we come to the startling realisation we are alone with complete privacy, something we have not yet had. That is enough that he quickly tries to find an excuse to be elsewhere while I prepare to leave.

"Do you mind if I freshen up?" he asks referring to the shower, knowing we'll be gone for days at least. 

"Of course," I answer, trying not to stammer at the thought of him naked in the next room and realise I am no better than a padawan. "You can use the one in my rooms, the ensuite's attached to the bedroom."

He gives me a thankful nod and heads inside, no doubt to take a cold shower which is something I certainly need as well.

"Fuck," I find myself cursing once the door to my bedroom closes and drag a hand over my face, a habit I seem to be picking up from him and look at my ship on the helipad, knowing this is going to be significantly harder than I had hoped it would be.

~

Obi-Wan

I shut the door to her bedroom behind me, needing a moment without her to balance myself, to regain my senses before confining myself in a ship with her for hours at the very least. I can't say this current predicament isn't my own fault, initiating as much as reciprocating any advances.

All I want is to take her into my arms, for her to feel the words I can't bring myself to say, to selfishly cross yet another line I swear I won't. I loved her then, I loved her recklessly but this is different. It's just as reckless if not more so but the depth of these feelings is beyond alarming. I don't just want to kiss her I want to be consumed by her which is not the jedi way. I want to feel the very things I've spent years fighting and I feel powerless to stop myself. I know if I hold onto her for too long I won't be able to let go. There's an adoration for her that is there no matter how badly I try not to act on my feelings, something I've done a horrible job of doing.

How many times can we possibly say we love each other without saying the words? I feel them in every glance, every touch, every smile. That love that I'd forced into memory is more alive than it ever was, penetrating every defence and leaving me with no clue how to fight it. She walked away all those years ago, she did the hard part before but now... now I still hold onto the dream of bringing her back despite how impossible it is because some stubborn part of me refuses to give up hope that it is possible despite what few pieces of sense I have left telling me otherwise.

I was prepared to deal with the feelings I had ten years ago, I was never prepared for the ones that have come now as quickly as they did before and so strong I could break under the weight of them. It makes me wonder what the point is in pretending otherwise when we both know so painfully well how we feel. It makes me wonder what more possible damage could we do to one another if I went and kissed her, if I took her by the waist and made love to her here and now. 

I should be better than this, better than just a man. I am a Jedi, but in her presence that is all I am, just a man hopelessly in love with a woman I know I shouldn't love. 

And so again I ask what more damage can I do if I give in to what it is we're both consumed by and allow myself just one more night with her before we're forced to part once again.

Except that's just it, it wouldn't be just one night.

I know exactly what damage it would do now I can finally see how deeply our affair wounded her. I'd truly hoped no matter how badly it hurt she would fall in love again, marry, have children. Have a life where she could be loved how she deserves to be. She tells me she doesn't want that, but I see how she smiles at the younglings. I see through every lie she tells, to herself, to the council, to me.

Something went terribly wrong before Padme's assassination attempt, something that has left her afraid, too ashamed to tell me the truth. But it was when she lied to the council I realised she has had training these past years. She can lie and tell them it's her own self discipline but we both know she has little of that at the best of times, or at least she used to. 

She has changed in a way I recognise as being sculpted, refined, and know it was not just her own self discipline that did it.

Padme knows something, I saw it when they were fighting, I saw the panic in Rhea's eyes and Padme's quick change of subject when she remembered I was listening. I'm half tempted to attempt to contact her on Naboo without Rhea knowing, but I know if I did that it would only cause a fight, it's the reason I haven't pressed or asked questions she doesn't want me asking. 

Against my better judgement and own personal hesitance I let my eyes skim about her room. She's both too afraid and too stubborn to reveal what she is hiding, but after watching her lie to the council I need to know if she's been putting herself in danger in order to train herself or to receive training from another. The answer is clear in my mind, but I struggle to believe it, struggle to believe that despite her ideological beliefs she would go so far. At least without coming to me first.

But when I find her cloak thrown into one of the corners smelling of something burnt I can't deny it, not as I pick it up and find the blaster holes and glass splinters and what I swear have to be lightsaber burns like those I saw on her back. I felt little darkness from her, but much shame, guilt. At first I thought it was about us, but when I watched her fighting with Padme it was clear her separatist sympathies were far more than just sympathies.

I don't want to believe it, I don't want to believe what is so blindingly obvious, yet how can't I after her panic at the mere mention of Count Dooku, but what leaves me uneasy is the thought it was more than a mere acquaintance turned sour. 

One thing is for certain, she's become a brilliant liar who is very capable of concealing things in the force. Unfortunately her eyes reveal everything and yet I can't help but become lost in them every time they meet and all I want is to help her, but if she has gotten herself into a mess as deep as I am beginning to suspect... our feelings for one another will soon be the least of our worries.

I drape the cloak over her chair before I go to shower, she knows I have my suspicions and perhaps this could just provoke her into revealing the truth to me, but something tells me she won't and this, the lies... it is perhaps the only thing holding me back from giving into her and perhaps that's what has stopped me from confronting her until this mission is complete.

So when the time comes and the truth is revealed she'll give me a reason to be able to walk away.

If such a thing is still possible.

~

Rhea

I stand in the kitchen, noticing the long time it takes for me to hear the shower start and know he suspects something, I can feel it. We both know damn well I'm hiding something, but neither of us are going to be the first to acknowledge it. Not until the mission is complete.

Even now as I stand here alone, the first time I can think clearly now he isn't in front of me, I don't know how much of Dooku's teachings were the Jedi's and how much were the Sith's. He became the sith lords apprentice after Maul, was involved with him even while Qui-Gon was still alive. An apprentice for an apprentice. That was four years before he summoned me to Serenno, towards the end I knew he'd been corrupted by darkness, by power, but nothing like this. I could never have known he was already apprenticing for a sith lord years before he took me as his own apprentice. A sith who made it clear to him that if I don't play the part he wants I have to die.

It didn't matter if I told Padme about their army or not, they knew the risk of it was enough that if she didn't come to their side she would have to die but she'd already been attacked by then. I don't understand. I want it to make sense but not how it is. I want to believe they were empty threats and someone from the Republic is responsible for this, but the deeper we go the darker it gets.

I look down at the jumpsuit I wear and know if we face this bounty hunter I'll want to be better prepared for combat and so I walk into my bedroom since the shower in the ensuite is still going and delve into my wardrobe for the clothes I wear while training, tight leggings and form fitting top. I take off my belt that holds my saber and blaster and put it on the table only to see in horror the cloak I wore on Serenno draped over it.

That was why Obi-Wan took so long, he found it. If he didn't walk out and confront me immediately it means he still wants me to know that he knows, but that it is my turn to be honest and I will be but I am not starting a fight when my sister's life is in danger, not when we have to be able to work together to get to the bottom of this.

Whatever that may be.

But still it jars me enough that in my hurry to change I don't notice the shower turning off until the door opens, nor did I notice his clothes folded on the same damn chair as the cloak so I'm standing there half dressed in my undergarments when he walks out with a towel around his waist and absolutely nothing else, both of us immediately apologising the second we realise.

"Shit sorry!" I exclaim and avert my eyes out of respect and panic, having until now succeeded in remaining the bare minimum of professional in trying to not get him naked but thankfully he's just as awkward at having caught me in a state of half dress although it's nowhere near as much as him.

"Sorry I-"

"It's nothing you haven't seen before," I say waving off his concerns with my eyes still shut and ramble "I- I promise I was not trying to get you into bed I just thought I better change into something I can fight in."

"Of course," he says, both of us caught standing there awkwardly and he stammers "That's- that's a sensible decision."

I nod and open my eyes to find both of us flushed and in a mutual state of defeat in our attempts to not end up in this situation.

"Well," I say, trying to laugh it off. "Seems we failed to get to kamino and back without taking our clothes off."

"To our credit we did make it half an hour," he says but the humour disappears when he sees the scars on my body, faint white lines now but obvious enough to the trained eye and I curse silently. For just a moment he averts his gaze as if to pretend he didn't see it, but his concern overrules all else.

The permanent reminders from Dooku of what happens when I am not fast enough in a duel, not sharp enough in my reflexes. He never went easy on me, and so if I made a mistake he didn't stop himself as any other master would, he let me take the hit and suffer the consequences of failure.

A lesson quickly learned, and still I never put two and two together despite his methods and know I won't be able to convince Obi-Wan I never knew when the evidence is right here on my body. His face is serious as he steps forward and I can't meet his eye as his fingers trail along the worst of the scars, one that runs from my waist up along my spine. My eyes flutter closed at the touch of him but the tone of his voice strips away any pleasure that could come with it.

"This is a lightsaber burn."

He states it as a fact, not making an accusation but it's there, I know it is.

"It is," I swallow, my eyes opening up to the sight of his bare chest and knowing I am in a very vulnerable position I choose not to elaborate. I could lie, attempt to gaslight him into believing I had them the last time we were together, but we both know there is no skirting around this.

He stays patiently silent until my eyes finally meet his and suddenly I can't look away as they bore into me and he knows exactly what he's doing as his fingers trail along my spine and it's all I can do to bite back whatever noise comes from the back of my throat and he says slowly "I'm going to ask you this once and only once, how did you get these scars?"

Immediately I jump to deflection, lying to those I love second nature by now "It's not important now-"

"Rhea," he says, not having the patience for deflection and uses the voice he does with Anakin. "I'm not going to ask you again."

It's not until now I know how deeply Dooku has corrupted me with all the years of lies, making me into a liar by forcing me to deceive those I love time and time again. 

"We have a mission to complete Obi-Wan," I remind him, knowing the truth would only hinder it. "We should be focusing on that and nothing else."

He nods slowly as he steps away and I can feel his hesitance, but his frustration gets the better of him as he remarks "It's incredible how dutiful you are when it's convenient for you."

And there it is.

I warn him "Don't talk to me about duty when I've devoted my life to it."

"Well then we have an understanding," he says, a coldness between us now and says words I know he's been holding back. "And yet when it comes to your duty to protect your sister you're still lying to protect yourself first."

And like that all common decency is off the table as I step closer to him and challenge "And how dutiful would you be if I took off my clothes right now? I'm guessing not very."

His face changes at those words knowing it's the truth and he warns me "Now we both know just how that would end."

"Is it any different to how this ends regardless?" I ask him and know I've hit a nerve in both of us. "I think it's too late to pretend we're walking away from this bloodless."

"Do you think when I took this mission I wasn't prepared for you to destroy my life once again?" he asks me and I'm the one standing there speechless as he quickly realises he's misspoken. "I didn't mean it like that-"

"Destroy your life?" I repeat in disbelief. "What about my life!" I stick a finger into his chest as I finally let my anger loose after all these years of cursing his name "Do you think you didn't destroy mine!" 

He breathes in deeply as he takes my hand and tries to de-escalate. "Can we do this when we're dressed?"

"No," I say harshly, not letting him back out now as I rip my hand away. "You started this not me." He moves away from me now, not wanting to engage and I yell "Ten years I've spent trying to put my life back together, you don't get to stand there and pretend you were the only one who was hurt!"

"Well I was the only one prepared to fight!" he argues back, hitting me where it hurts. "You're the one who walked away."

 I laugh dangerously at those words "Do you think it was easy? Do you think it didn't kill me to walk away? Walking away was the most selfless thing I've done in my entire bloody life!" My hands shake now as I yell "I walked away so you wouldn't have to because I wasn't going to let you destroy your life for me!" He can't meet my eye now. "So don't you dare stand there and demand to know the things I've done in trying to repair mine!"

"Has it occurred to you Rhea that maybe I want to help you!" he says harshly, but won't resort to raising his voice. "That I know you're lying to everyone including yourself and just want you to be honest with me of all people after what we've been through."

"I don't owe you the truth," I bite defensively. "We don't owe each other anything."

"You're right," he says as he marches back over to me. "We don't owe each other anything, our past is just that. In the past."

Except it isn't.

"Is it?" I question as he follows me with every step backwards I take, knowing I have him caught now. 

"Yes," he insists and I see that look in his eye as I suddenly find my back against a wall, his body dangerously close to mine. "It is."

But I can't help myself as I challenge "Really?"

His hand is beside my head, leaning over me as he repeats with little conviction "Really."

And so I tilt my chin up towards his and ask "Who's lying now?"

He takes the bait and I gasp out as I feel his hand on my waist, the other reaching for my face, holding it in place as he leans down, beard scratching my cheek as he breathes my name "Rhea."

I look up at him, chest heaving, and whatever he sees makes him let go of me before he can take this any further and in an act of desperation I reach for him, grabbing onto his muscled arm to pull him back to me and drop the act as I plead with him "I need you to trust me Obi." His eyes are conflicted as they meet mine "I will tell you everything when the time is right I swear, but until then I need you to trust me." 

"Rhea," he warns but his eyes betray him as I take his face in my hands and his breath catches in his throat, our bodies touching now as he holds me by the waist. 

"Trust me," I whisper, lips inches from his as I look up into his torn blue eyes. "Please."

I let him feel everything I do in that moment and his eyes fall shut, forehead falling against mine as he takes it in until finally he nods, placing his faith in me as he says "I trust you."

With those words my arms wrap around him and suddenly we're holding onto one another as for life itself and I bury my face in the crook of his neck, my hands grasping his bare back as he buries his fingers in my hair, clutching me to his bare body. The warmth of him is something I know I'll crave for years more, having almost forgotten it until now.

I press my lips to his collarbone and feel him sigh at the touch but as I press my eyes shut I feel tears in them. Not wanting this to end like before, not wanting to destroy each other again and so before this can go any further I pull back enough to press a chaste kiss to his cheek and tell him "I'll let you get dressed."

He opens his mouth as if to protest before his eyes meet mine and immediately he understands that pulling away is not by will, but mercy on us both. He nods in agreement and I force myself to let him go, picking up my shirt and walking out of the room before I can look back and kiss him in a way I can't undo.

I don't stop until I'm in the kitchen and pull the sleeveless shirt on, head in my hands as I lean on the bench and my eyes catch the bottle I used to poor us drinks after the last attack and feel the temptation for just a moment before cursing and walking away from it, my substance abuse being the one thing Dooku brutalised me for when I began my training and rightfully so. 

I fill cantinas with water and head to the ship, climbing inside and into the pilot's seat. It's a transport ship so it's spacious enough, and yet I know it is still too small for the two of us and our barely repressed emotions. Hell even the largest starship could never be large enough for us.

When Obi-Wan finally emerges he's dressed and his hair half dry, I open my mouth, not knowing if I should acknowledge what just happened but he speaks first, with a kind concern as he holds up my weapons belt that I'd forgotten in my haste to get out of that room.

"You might want this."

I give a pained smile as I take it. "Thank you."

He nods as he takes the co-pilots seat, eyes lingering on me before looking at the controls and asking "Are you ready for the coordinates?"

I nod and we set our course for Kamino.

~

Hours later we're travelling through the hyperspace lanes, having exhausted all topics of practical conversation regarding the mission our thoughts wander to just what Anakin and Padme are up to, using Anakin's own poorly concealed feelings to avoid our own.

"I'm sure he's behaving himself," I try to assure Obi-Wan. "I dare say Padme's grown tired of the obvious pining."

"Well, she'd certainly be fed up with his flirting," he guesses and criticises. "It is god awful too."

"It seems the master can't teach everything," I tease and quickly bring it back to Anakin before we tread down that carefully avoided path. "But I don't know, she always found it cute, and it's hardly like she allows that type of affection considering her station."

"So you aren't the only sister who terrifies any man who looks your way?" he says and I give a satisfied smile.

"Well I more so than her, she just prioritises her work above all else instead of deliberately brushing anyone off," I say, remembering that one senator, Rush Clovis. "And with Anakin she's too nice to be harsh, so either she'll let it keep going or try to let him down gently."

"I hope she lets him down as harshly as she has to considering he clearly doesn't have a lick of sense about him when it comes to your sister," he says and I roll my eyes at the blatant hypocrisy as he shakes his head. "If she gave him the chance he'd be that silly he'd be asking her to marry him."

I laugh, unable to imagine that. "That would be a sight, wouldn't it?"

"Don't even make me consider it," he groans, speaking frankly. "He doesn't even need a reason to break the code, he just does it, and if he did do something that stupid I don't even know what I could do aside from help him keep it secret."

I can understand trying to prevent Anakin from making the decisions he has but still, he's blinded to the fact they were not so different.

"We were prepared to keep a secret like that once too," I remind him gently, remembering it all too well not that either of us need the reminder.

His voice is quiet as he says "I know we were."

And the space is thick with tension again between us. At least we'd made it this far to Kamino without ending up here again.

I clear my throat "You know she's the one expecting me to do something as stupid as that now I'm alone with you."

He can't argue with her assessment but asks "How long has she known?"

From the way he says it I know immediately he's never breathed a word of us to another soul aside from answering the questions Anakin's had and is surprised I would.

"She knew something was going on at the time and after you left, well..." I don't need to finish and he nods, not needing me to explain the rest. "Like I said, she was afraid to tell me it was you who'd been assigned for a reason. She knew right from the start that you were my first love."

I know I wasn't his, but he was certainly mine. My first and only love.

The space between us becomes heavy and he looks over at me, a mere metre away at best in the cockpit, he looks at me conflicted before deciding to say "I- I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

I shake my head in dismissal "You don't need to-"

"I do," he says taking my hand in his. "I shouldn't have said what I did about you walking away. I- I know it hurt you as deeply as it hurt me. I know you've been in just as much pain as I have. It took me a long time to realise it and even now I don't want to believe I've been the cause of such pain."

"Obi-" I whisper but he's not finished. 

"When the shock passed I was thankful you walked away, because like you said, I would have walked away from the order if you'd let me." I swallow hard, him never having said those words so plainly before. Words that mean more than I love you ever could, words of a man willing to break from the order he had devoted himself to so he could be with me, the purest act of love he could commit. "You were strong enough to do what I couldn't in putting our duties first."

"And you've done incredible Obi," I tell him, squeezing his hand and his eyes soften. "I knew you would do right by Anakin and you have. I couldn't let you break that promise."

"I know," he says, both of us utterly vulnerable. "I know you did it because you cared for me too much to let me walk away from the order even if it meant breaking your own heart." He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it hard. "Still," he says, his voice gentle but desperate. "I want you to know Rhea that I really was prepared to fight for us."

I give him a sad smile. "I know, but I couldn't let you lose everything in that fight."

He returns my sad smile, tears in both our eyes. "You may not have been my first love darling, but maker knows not a day's gone by these past ten years that I haven't thought of you."

I blink at him in disbelief despite all we've confessed to one another. "Truly?"

"Truly," he says, letting me in that moment feel everything he does, the longing, the remorse, the devotion. "I meant what I said, that I'll never be able to look at a sunset without thinking of you, and those words are true to this day." With those words my composure breaks and tears slip down my cheek and he wipes them away, voice soft as he soothes me "No darling, don't cry."

"How can't I when you're here, telling me that you've been in as much agony as I have?" I reply and find myself confessing to him knowing there's only so much more destruction left for us to do to one another. "I loved you." Saying it so plainly brings pain to his eyes. "I loved you and I knew I could never find that love in anyone else. I didn't want to love anyone else. I still don't." I find myself wiping a tear from the corner of his eye and leave myself utterly vulnerable as I tell him. "What I said about marriage and kids, I lied, I-" 

His eyes search mine, realising there is something I haven't told him "Rhea?"

"For a moment I- I thought I was pregnant," I confide in him and watch his eyes change as he takes my face in his hand, tears still wetting my cheeks. "I wasn't, but for a moment..."

"Oh Rhea, darling," he whispers and brings his forehead to mine, trying to ease me before he confesses "For just a moment during those first few months of training Anakin when I believed I'd only fail him some selfish part of me hoped you'd come to me with the one duty more important than mine to him." I realise what he's saying and search his eyes, seeing the same scared boy I loved who was so uncertain of himself, of his capability to fulfil his masters wishes. "So I had a reason to leave that was more honourable than for the forbidden sin of having fallen in love."

"Obi-Wan," I breathe and we both know there is no escaping this unscathed as my heart breaks once again and he kisses away my tears as he did all those years ago until I whisper. "I don't want to let you go again."

"Neither do I darling," he promises me, kissing my palm as he asks "How is it a love so brief has endured so unwaveringly all these years?"

"I don't know," I say quietly, terrified as I ask him "What are we going to do?"

His brows draw together in contemplation, torn between every piece of sense he has and what he feels, unable to come to any conclusion except for one "I don't know, but it seems we're the ones we should be worrying about instead of Anakin and Padme."

"I think you're right," I chuckle tearfully and I can't help but look at his lips after trying so hard these past days not to. "Obi-Wan I-"

"I know," he says and I close my eyes as his lips skim over my cheek. "I know darling."

"Please," I whisper, not knowing what it is I'm asking for but he knows as his lips move down towards mine. "Obi-"

"Rhea," he breathes and every second is torturous as his lips brush against mine only for us to be torn apart by the blaring alarm sounding from the radar and he curses "Blast!"

Quickly I slam the alarm off and watch as Obi-Wan looks from the radar to what both of us were too occupied to notice. Kamino.

"There it is, right where it's supposed to be," he says breathlessly. "Our missing planet." 

He looks at our hands, torn between discipline and desire, his resolve momentarily lapsing as he leans forward without warning and kisses the corner of my mouth, quickly moving his lips to my forehead before I can kiss him back and we linger there for just a moment in the silence before he forces himself to pull away so I can descend into the atmosphere of Kamino.

Sitting there beside him with the ghost of his lips on mine I know that the dangerous line we've walked, we've certainly crossed it now.

[hazel-of-sodor]

Day 8-Disgrace:Fall from Glory

Day 8- Disgrace

Other Stories

Fall from Glory

Spetember 1968

D5701 was standing in the cold siding when he heard the shunter approach. In front of him D5719 slowly woke from her doze. "01? What's happening?"

D5701 looked over to see the shunter arranging two steam engines at the front of the yard, "looks like it's the end of the line for 44888 and 73135." The metrovik had a vicious glee in his tone.

His sister actually had the audacity to sigh sadly, "Soon there won't be any steam engines left here."

"As it should be," D5701 hissed, "those old kettles are a blight upon our railway."

"The same railway that is throwing us away." His sister's bitterness was thick enough to choke.

He was about to reprimand her when something moving behind her made him grin evilly, "Speaking of, goodbye sister."

19 looked confused until she felt the shunter couple up to her. Her face was quickly overtaken by fear as she was dragged away to the waiting line of engines.

D5701 chucked, maybe now he could get some sleep. A blast of a familiar horn soon ended any such happy thoughts. He watched with a familiar shape rolled into the yard, his Brunswick Green paint gleaming in the afternoon light, on his sides three letters gleamed in white, NWR.  D5701 gritted his teeth so hard it was audible across the yard. How dare that imposter show his face!

"Hello! I'm here to collect the shipment for the North Western Region."

"Look at you."

D5702 looked around for the source of the hissed words, his eyes finally landed on D5701. A smirk spread across his face. "Well hello brother, I would say it's a surprise to see you here, but we'd both know that's a lie."

"Do not call me that!" D5701 snarled out. "Not while you prance around in those colors, pretending you're one of us while serving as little more than a pet for your precious steam engines."

Rather than offended, D5702 was amused. "Says the lamb led to the slaughter." The younger engine's tone was just shy of mocking. "I hoped that you would see sense before it came to this, but I see now that was a fool's hope."

"See sense??" D5701 was all but spitting, "You betrayed our railway to those rebels, and dare lecture me! British Rails built you!"

"And now they will scrap you." D5702's tone was final. "You did everything for them, turned down the opportunity to work on the North Western.."

"And lower myself to work with those kettles??"

"...and you chose to hunt escaping engines for them. Oh, excusing me, try to hunt escaping engines. How many engines did you end up turning in besides yourself."

"At least I will die with dignity, rather than live as an outdated toy. A mere token piece for an island lost in time."

D5702 raised a severe eyebrow, "I not only responsible for my line's express services, but I am the official secondary for the Wildnor'wester. If that's your idea of a token job it's no wonder you were always so unhappy."

"Excuse me," the yard shunter interrupted nervously, "Mr.Boco, sir. Your train is ready."

"Thank you young one," D5702 smiled at the little shunter.

"Mr.Boco," D5701's voice was sickly sweet, "how adorable, you were actually given your own pet name."

"Oh, I don't know 01, I hear that your railway has a pet name for you."

"And what's that?"

"Scrapmetal."

The two class 28 stared each other down, the shunter nervously watching from the side.

Finally D5702 spoke, "Even after all this, I would still save you if you asked. Just say the word and I'll pull you out of that siding, to hell with my orders, but I know you won't accept."

"For once you are right D5702."

"This is goodbye then, D5702 began to roll back then hesitate, "Is there anything you wish for me to convey to D5700?"

D5701 sighed, "No D5702, in this case it's better to let sleeping engines lie."

D5702 and rolled away. 

D5701 watched as D5702 coupled up to D5719 and the two steam engines and rolled away.soom the sound of his engine faded and D5701 slowly fell back to sleep.

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 31st of March, 2022

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 31st of March, 2022

Question: Queen Elizabeth: Where to from here? What lies ahead for Her Majesty the Queen.

Interpretation: Gossip, extreme stress, and betrayal, all because of money and status (or lack of them).

Card One: The Four of Cups. For me, in this deck, this is a card about gossip, as the picture shows Psyche sitting between her sisters and listening to what they say. here it refers to family gossip, or spreading tales about members of your family. This would be the Sussexes (see the underlying energy) spreading gossip about the BRF, a bit true and mostly false (a grain of truth to make the lies believable).

The Four of Cups is also a card about being emotionally dissatisfied, being bored or apathetic, not seeing or availing yourself of opportunities (refusing them). This is coming across to me as the energy of the Sussexes. They don't want to work (use available opportunities), instead they would rather sit on their bottoms and gossip about the BRF to continue their victim narrative and make money from that. I am getting a strong energy of apathy (why should I do that?), laziness, and unhappiness about how things have turned out.

The other underlying influence is Prince Andrew. In this case, the gossip will be about him. There is already talk about how he escorted the Queen at the memorial service, and there could be other talk about him in the future. This talk will make both Prince Andrew and the Queen very upset (Andrew because it has been revealed, the Queen because it happened in the first place).

The gossip that is spreading or is going to spread will be damaging to the BRF. The energy is of malicious gossip (Psyche's sisters hinting her husband is a monster), not kind gossip. It is not impossible that Harry will use the talk about Prince Andrew to further his cause, and vice versa.

Card Two: The Nine of Swords. This is a card of stress and worry, being so stressed that you can't sleep at night. The card shows the Furies (creatures of vengeance) pointing nine swords at Orestes, who has covered his ears to try and block them out. The gossip from the Four of Cups will cause a great deal of distress to the Queen. She may try to ignore it for a while (Orestes blocking his ears), but in the end it will have to be dealt with.

Card Three: The Moon. This is a major arcana card, so a strong public energy in the reading. The Moon is a card of lies, deceit, deception, illusions, things not appearing as they are, and of being driven crazy by the lies/deceptions, as you have no idea what is the truth.

The card shows Hecate, the goddess of (among other things) crossroads, accompanied by the three headed guardian of the Underworld, Cerberus. Hecate has three faces as well, symbolising the past, the present, and the future. I think that the lies and deceits of the past are going to bring the BRF to a crossroad, a turning point, where they have to choose a path for the future without perhaps knowing all the truth. This applies to both Harry and Andrew in their relationship with the BRF.

There may be deception foisted onto the BRF and accepted as truth because they can't prove that it is a lie. The energy of this card is of not being able to see your way clearly, of not having all the truth, of having to look deeper to see the truth and maybe not finding anything to help you know what is truth and what is lies. Hecate lives in the underworld, and Cerberus guards the underworld, so some of the buried secrets and lies of the past may stay in the underworld and not rise up to the light of day, no matter how hard people try to bring them to light. Hecate can be a goddess of childbirth, so children or the birth of children may be important here.

Card Four: The Ten of Swords. This is the card of giving up, of abandoning hope, of being betrayed. The energy of this card is of betrayal. Because of the lies and deceits of the Moon card, the Queen and the BRF are going to be put in a position where although they do their best, they will end up feeling betrayed and/or being betrayed. The energy of the card feels like being stabbed in the back, followed by a complete and utter despair and helplessness.

The card shows Orestes collapsed in a heap, worn out by his struggle with the Furies (the same creatures who caused stress by repeating malicious gossip on the Nine of Swords cards). He has given up, and only Athena, the goddess of law and justice (she appears on the Justice card), defends him from the Furies. This indicates that legal action may have to be undertaken to defend the BRF from malicious gossip.

Card Five: The Two of Cups. The Two of Cups is the card of relationships - mainly romantic (it can be a soulmate card), but it can be any sort of relationship - legal, business, familial, friendship etc. It can indicate a new relationship (e.g. meeting your soul mate, gaining a new family member) or a changed relationship (e.g. moving from courtship to marriage, signing a business contract). The question of this card is: Do I continue in the relationship, or do I abandon it? Do I choose the relationship, or not?

The events of the past four cards - the malicious gossip of the Four of Cups, the stress of the Nine of Swords, the deception of The Moon, and the betrayal of the Ten of Swords - are going to lead to a change in relationships. The Queen and the BRF are going to have to ask themselves if their relationship with certain people is worth it. Do they continue the relationship, or do they work away from it?

Card Six: The Page of Pentacles. This is the card of an earth sign child, which would be Harry, who is an earth sign grandchild of the Queen. It is also a card of messages (pages are messages), especially about money and social status (Pentacles are money, social status, material things). It is also my card for England or Great Britain as a whole.

The changed relationships indicated by the Two of Cups are going to be between the BRF and their country, and between the BRF and Prince Harry. Money and social status will be the issues involved. I think the gossip, stress, lies and betrayal of the first four cards will impact the way the people of Great Britain see the BRF and that will change the relationship between them - whether for better or worse I can't tell. The relationship between the BRF and Harry will also change, but again I can't tell how.

Underlying Energy One: The Five of Pentacles. I am getting two energies from this card.

The first is the energy of marriage, but a marriage that is broken, with one party now alone and out in the cold. This, of course, is a reference to Her Majesty and her continuing grief over the loss of Prince Philip. It may recede for a time and just linger in the background as a dull ache, but I don't think this pain will ever fully leave her, and certain events will always bring it sharply to the forefront again.

Her Majesty has to continue with her life as one (single), whereas before she was part of two (a couple), and she was part of a couple for a very long time. I think she is finding it hard to adjust to life by herself and there are days and times when she feels very much abandoned and alone, simply because Philip is no longer there.

The second energy is that of being an outcast, being cast out of the family, having left the safety and security of the family behind . This is what is shown by the image on the card as the craftsman Daedalus walks away from his home, exiled by his own actions (he murdered his nephew). This energy could refer to two people:

The first is the Sussexes, who walked away from their life in the BRF and made themselves exiles and outcasts by their own actions. In the image, Daedalus wears a tattered cloak, indicating poverty, and similarly the Sussexes are experiencing financial difficulties. They are limping along, clad in the tatters of their past association with the BRF, becoming more and more persona non grata with every action they take.

The second is Prince Andrew, who has been exiled from being a working royal due to his own actions. He may be trying to find a way that he can come back onto the public stage.

I feel that the card refers to all of these situations: two family members exiled by their own actions, and a queen who will feel the loss of her husband for the rest of her life. This is the starting point.

Underlying Energy Two: The Hierophant. This is the card of institutions (and marriages in the original meaning). In this reading it stands for the BRF.

Look at how the man in the Five of Pentacles is walking towards The Hierophant card, showing the wise centaur Chiron in his cave home.

If the outcast is the Sussexes, then they want to be back in the BRF, or to be seen to be back in the BRF. If you look at the face of the man in the Five of Pentacles, it is turned away from the Hierophant card and looking directly at the viewer, like Meghan does with the camera. This is about appearances. The Sussexes want the acknowledgement or recognition that they are part of the BRF, but they have no intention of supporting the institution or doing any work for it - it is all for show.

Now look at the centaur Chiron on the Hierophant card. he is blocking the way into the cave, i.e. back into the BRF in any form. In one hand he holds a rolled up piece of paper - I hear the word 'contract' when I look at that scroll. His other hand is held up, making the gesture against the Evil Eye (I think this is the Italian gesture). He is crowned, so a crowned head. Here Chiron represents the crowned head(s) of the BRF - those with power (I am not sure who exactly). They know the Sussexes mean nothing but harm (hence the symbol against the Evil Eye). They know the Sussexes have a contract or contracts to fulfil. It will fall to these people (and I am feeling a people energy and not a single person energy) to block the re-entry of the Sussexes into the BRF and to continually guard against any impression that they are part of the British Royal Family as an institution (family by blood, yes, unfortunately, but not part of The Firm). I think that it will fall to Her Majesty to be one of the people saying No to the Sussexes.

If the exile is Prince Andrew, it is a similar situation. He wants to come back and be a working member of the BRF. It is important that the BRF blocks this and limits his appearances at official events. This is linked to his court case, with the contract standing for the settlement between him and Virginia Guiffries. Again, it is about appearances (how things look to the public), but in this case there may be more things that come out about Prince Andrew in the future that will damage the BRF if he is now returned as a working royal e.g. Virginia writes a book and more stuff comes out.

Underlying Energy Three: The Knight of Pentacles. This is the card of the sign Virgo, and Harry is a sun sign Virgo. This is confirmation that Harry will be pushing to either return as a working member of the BRF, with all his privileges restored, and/or he will be pushing for some sort of acknowledgement of his importance from the BRF.

The Knight of Pentacles as a person is slow but persistent. With Harry, this will be a continual push, push, push, a persistent erosion of defences and arguments against him. In other words, he will keep bringing stuff up until he gets what he wants. Her Majesty and the other people of power in the BRF will have to be prepared for a long siege and continue to block his entry into any and all things royal.

The Knight of Pentacles is turned away from the Hierophant and towards the Six of Pentacles. Harry is not interested in being part of the BRF, he is interested in the money and social status (suit of Pentacles) that he can get from them (Six of Pentacles card).

The persistency of the Knight of Pentacles can also refer to Prince Andrew and his continuing campaign to return as a working member of the BRF, in which case it is equally important for the BRF to keep saying No and to keep him away from being a working royal.

Underlying Energy Four: The Six of Pentacles. This is a card about giving and/or receiving money. The pictures shows a King giving money to a supplicant. Taken with all the other cards, this says that the Sussexes are looking to the BRF to bail them out of their financial difficulties (big surprise), perhaps even to buy out their contracts with Netflix and/or Spotify so they are free of those obligations. This is the main reason they want to get back into the BRF. It is important for the BRF to say No to this.

Similarly, this could indicate money problems with the court settlement and Prince Andrew looking to the BRF for money, in which case helping him pay off the settlement may be the only thing they can do (as much as I hate to write that).

Conclusion: Her Majesty is going to face issues from one or both of her two exiled family members, Harry and Andrew. If it is Andrew, he is going to push to return as a working royal, and he will be the subject of malicious gossip that will damage the standing of the BRF if he is allowed to return as a working royal. He may also have money troubles and need the BRF to bail him out. If it is Harry, he will be nagging the BRF to let him appear as a member of 'the Firm' and to pay all his bills, while continuing to work for himself and not for them and while spreading malicious gossip about them.

Either or both instances are going to cause a lot of stress to the BRF and to the Queen. There will be lies, deceptions, and illusions all over the place, and it will be very hard to discern the truth, if not impossible to do so. The BRF is going to be pushed to a crossroads where they have to make a decision about the situation, and that decision, made on incomplete truth, will lead to a betrayal. It is likely that they will have to take legal action to free themselves from the malicious gossip. The end result will be a changed relationship with the people of Great Britain, and a changed relationship with Harry.

The underlying energy is the Hierophant and three pentacle cards. This is all about the money and the status of the BRF, either using it for yourself and/or trying to destroy it through malicious family gossip.

This is not the future that I wanted to see for the Queen, who is dealing with a lifelong grief and feeling alone and abandoned without Prince Philip, but that is what the cards say. I hope that both she and the BRF have the strength to say No to Harry and/or Andrew, and to continue to say No to them, as if they give in the future will be a lot worse.

The reading seems most likely to apply to Harry, as he appears twice (Knight of Pentacles and the Page of Pentacles), but I can not discount the possibility of Prince Andrew, another exile, also contributing to the stressful future the cards portray.

Prayers/supportive energy for the Queen.

This is one reading where I will be very happy if it doesn't come true or if it is watered down in the future.

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 3.2k WARNINGS: ANGST, VIOLENCE, GUNS

a/n: we are nearing the end guys :( and i promise, it’s a HAPPY ENDING! but for now we have to face the angst, i’m so sorry. disclaimer!! as i have said from the previous parts, i am not well-versed with investigations and court procedures. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG. thank you very much!! please enjoy this new part and hit my ask box with what you think of it <3

nine: grief | masterlist

Wonwoo has had difficult times in his life and he has managed to overcome them all. Growing up in the public eye, fulfilling duties decreed to him even before he became a teen, a break-up, excelling both academically and physically and most of all, loving himself for who he is. He knows his parents did everything in their power and love to make it a little easier for him. They are the reasons he kept going and going. 

But his heart can’t seem to carry this overwhelming heaviness. 

His parents wanted to end the engagement immediately. It was an argument, an angry one. His mother had her ears closed even before he could speak meanwhile his father’s closed lips already said it all. Of course, he was defensive. He understands his parents concern for their citizens, but nothing is final until a verdict is reached. He has to come back to Jung and Sam and he has to come back to you. Surely enough, when he stepped out of the doors of his home, he had chosen love over duty. 

It’s just that he didn’t know that you had different plans. 

“Where’s the pretty lady?” Sam asks out of the blue while he plays with the new toys Wonwoo brought for the kids at the welfare.

He has been visiting them frequently, at least four times a week in between his hospital schedule. Especially after you decided that he should distance himself from you, he has been in and out of here because the boys are one of the only reasons he’s here other than you. He’s hoping you only meant a break if that’s what you wanted. Because he’d give it to you with as much distance as you want just come back to him. Come back to him because he doesn’t and can’t let you go. 

“She’s a bit busy now,” he tries to make up an excuse and Sam raises his sparkling eyes at his face, probably searching for some truth in his lie. 

“You look different when she’s around,” the young boy says and goes back to his toys. 

Wonwoo’s ears perk and his brows knit in question. “What do you mean?”

“Jung thinks I don’t see it, but his face,” Sam explains and gestures to his tiny yet swelling cheeks. “It changes because of this girl here that I think he’s crushing.”

Wonwoo can’t help the growing smile on his face. “Jung has a crush?”

“Yes.” Sam bobs his head cutely. “You’re just like Jung with the pretty lady around.”

“How about now?” He asks the observant boy who purses his tiny lips before narrowing his eyes at him. 

“You look a little sad.”

Wonwoo didn’t need to ask who’s the pretty lady Sam was talking about because to him, you’re the only pretty lady in his life (second to his mother of course even though she’s angry at him at the moment). He tried to not make it obvious. He doesn’t want anyone to see him that the controversy and your father’s arrest is breaking the two of you apart. He can’t let them see him falling apart for that matter because he wants you to see him confident and strong. 

He doesn’t want to further fuel your doubts and fears. If he can’t support you closely, he’ll do his best to support you even from afar.

That’s why life for him continued. He goes to work, attends to his patients and co-workers needs, he eats, he exercises and he even entertains drinking with Soonyoung despite having to take care of him because of how fast he gets drunk. 

It’s an ineffective distraction because he misses you terribly. He misses going to your office just to take you away from your computer, he misses driving around town with you in the passenger seat and listening to your stories, he misses sleeping over at your apartment after a tiring day shift, he misses your warm and welcoming embrace, he misses your shy and soft kisses against his lips, cheeks, nose, forehead, neck and everywhere else.  

Did he tell you he misses you?

He sends you messages every day. He doesn’t call and he doesn’t wait for a reply. He just wants you to know that he’s here whenever you’re ready. Jeongyeon is kind enough to keep him in the loop, but the updates are very minimal because she’s still your subject and she doesn’t want to hurt you any further. 

For a moment, Wonwoo was afraid to take the leap. But when you asked him if he still wants to marry you which could be equivalent to you ending things, he had to. If you stay or not, he had to say it with all his heart. You had to know because he was sure that whatever it is his whole being is feeling, it’s only for you. 

“I love you.”

Your heart drops at his confession, making you sob to the palm of your hands. He can’t do this to you right now. It’s already hard and painful. You want to be selfish, but it would be wrong to let him suffer with you when he has been nothing but kind and honest. 

“You’re not your father, Y/N,” he promises and holds your hands down. “Please look at me.”

You shake your head, sniffling. You want to scream you love him too. But the words are nothing but a lump at the back of your throat. You continue shedding your tears and the sight breaks Wonwoo’s heart. 

“It’s okay.” He lifts your head up by your cheeks. He wipes your tears away even though it’s futile. He wishes to share with your anguish, but he also respects the desires of your heart. 

His smile was small when he leans down and briefly presses a kiss to your trembling lips. You accept it, fearing it might be the last. You also listen to his last words before he leaves with his bag and coat because it also might be the last time you’ll ever hear them.

“I love you.”

The rain patters on the roof of the car when Wonwoo’s words echoed inside your head. Just the thought of what had transpired the last few days brings tears to your eyes. You haven’t seen him since that night and the longing is unbearable. You wish to hear his voice, feel his touch against you or just see him. But you can’t and you have to persevere through it because you owe justice and accountability to your people.   

You haven’t spoken to your mother even if you tried. She’s just tired, so tired you can’t bring a word out of her. You try to be understanding and a little more patient. After all, getting over a betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. That’s why you continued working even though almost every client you have has backed down and declined your services. Nonetheless, you still go to your office every day as if everything is okay. You drink your coffee, you run over your files and even do a little organizing and disposing here and there. 

Your father’s first trial is today and you’re on your way to speak to him at his detention center. This is the first time you’ll see him aside from the television and newspapers. You’ve been crying ever since he got taken away. You can’t help it. You already know the truth and there’s no blinding away from it. But you want to hear from your father, whom you thought you have known all your life. You want his truth and maybe find some closure. 

When you arrive at the parking lot, the rain has ceased and little by little the temperature is rising again. You really wish things were different. Something in you wishes that this is a set-up. You wish that your father was innocent and only being framed. But there is a bigger something that’s telling you to throw away those wishful thoughts because it’s wrong. 

You ask yourself, am I angry at my father? while walking to the entrance leading to the visitor’s area. I should be, right? You argue because your family name and career is tarnished. Your upcoming marriage is no different which is most likely to be over. 

“Hi my darling,” The King, stripped from his expensive suit, greets you with his usual smile.

The glass between you and your father is clear enough to see that he doesn’t look good. Your father used to look every day ready with his suit on and slick back hair. But right now, he doesn’t. Tears well up in your eyes but you hold it in. It will take a long time to get used to seeing him like this. It will take a painfully long one.

Maybe you’re not angry. Maybe you’re just hurting.

“Hi dad,” you greet back. “How are you?”

The old man smiles and warms his thighs with his hands while looking around the small room. “I’m okay.”

You nod and the cold silence engulfs the room. 

“I’m sorry darling,” he finally says and hearing those words made you burst into tears. He sees you crying and this is the first time he can’t reach his hand out to wipe the tears away. “I’m really sorry that your father’s greed has left you and your mother a wound that might never heal.”

Greed. The news, the Royal Police, the prosecution and everyone else were talking about this. They’re still talking about this. It’s scandalous, it’s controversial. It’s unbelievable too. How could the head and protector of the kingdom do this? 

How could your father do this?

“Dad,” you sob. “Dad.”

“I know,” he tells you. “I know.”

“Please tell me they’re lying,” you begged, your voice shaking.

“I cannot betray you any further, my darling,” he sadly says. “I have to set you all free from my lies.”

You harshly rub your fingers against your eyes, trying to dry the tears that won’t stop from falling. “Who’s Kim Mingyu?”

The alarming buzz! blasts, indicating that your time’s up. You’re quick to your feet and hold your sweating palm against the glass. Your father mirrors your action but it didn’t last long because he was being handcuffed again. 

“Remember,” he says, struggling a little against the two uniformed men. “You are your own person, my darling.” 

Maybe you’re not hurting. Maybe you’re grieving because you just lost your father. 

You know who Kim Mingyu is. You already knew before you could even ask your father. You just wanted to know how your father met him and entangled himself with such a man. What led him to fall for his lies and money that he could trade every ounce of dignity and integrity in his being? Something of that sort. 

Kim Mingyu’s mining business was proposed to the Secretary of the Trade and Industry Department. A mining business that will have children go underground for long agonizing hours. At first, they were immediately rejected knowing that there’s an obvious and strict law disallowing foreigners to the kingdom’s mineral resources. Much more the exploitation of young children. But, Mingyu was ambitious and a sniper to every man's weakness. It didn’t take long for the Secretary of the Trade and Industry to bite. It was easily followed by the Secretary of the Justice Department and your father. They all, among many others, eventually fell for his trap. Everything worked out for Kim Mingyu. 

Your hip is against the hood of the car as you watched the prison guards surround the vehicle your father will ride to the court. Everyone is on high alert. Well, they should be. No one else is more high profile than a criminal king. It’s only the first trial but you’re already more than aware of how things will turn out in the end. 

You clutch the lifebuoy pendant of the necklace you’re wearing, nervous and trying to keep everything together.

You could leave now, but the time and opportunity to see your father is running out. This prison is the only place you could linger just to see him, even for a short while. You won’t be able to follow him at court because Seungkwan advised you not to. Which you understand. This whole case involving your father is already causing a media frenzy so staying away is the smart thing to do. 

As you wait, your phone suddenly rings with an unknown number flashed on the screen. You blink, wondering who could it be at this hour. After a beat of hesitation, you answered and held the phone against your ear. 

“Hello?”

“Ah, Princess Y/N. How’s the King doing?”

You’re not that forgetful to not recognize this voice. “Mr. Kim, how did you get my number?”

“That’s not important right now,” he dodges the question. “What’s important is what I am about to tell you.”

“What do you want from me?” You say with gritted teeth and from your peripheral you can see the guards scramble. Your father is about to come out.

You can hear him scoff. “I don’t want anything from you, Your Highness. But listen…”

Your heart starts to beat faster. It’s a hard visual but your father is nearing the exit. Your bottom lip is starting to hurt from how hard you’re biting it and the few seconds of pause and suspense that Mingyu’s giving you is not helping at all. 

“Listen you sick---” He cuts you off and your blood runs cold.

“I’m going to kill your father.”

What is the fondest memory that you have of your father? 

They’re too many to count and every memory with him, small and big, will always mean everything to you. But as an example, it would be the day you finally took oath as a lawyer. He didn’t tell you, but he, together with your mother, was secretly present at the venue. He told you beforehand that they shouldn’t go because he didn’t want the people to make you uncomfortable and steal the spotlight. You ignored his lame excuse of fame and told him that he can do whatever he wants. 

But he was really there. Tears brimming on his eyes together with pride beaming on his heart. Your mother had to calm him down because he got a little out of control, almost screaming with all his chest at the venue that you’re his daughter. 

You only found out when you hopped on the car and they’re inside with a small cake, flowers and party hats on, shouting loud congratulations and surprise simultaneously. 

Your father was always there. Your parents were. 

You remember those when you ran and pushed your way against the guards blocking your father’s view. You were frantic as you screamed at them to get your father back inside. You fought with all your strength and thrashed against their hold just to reach your father. When you slipped away from them, you ran again, fast. 

You did your best to not get caught. You just have to be close to your dad and push him back inside. You just have to be close to him. You just have to protect him.

You have to be there for him. 

“Please stop!” You shout when another guard takes hold of your waist, locking you to the ground. “You have to bring my father back inside!”

“You’re Highness, please calm down!” The guard shouts back and you fight against him. When he didn’t let you go, you stomped the heel of your shoe on his feet, making him fall in pain. 

“Dad!” You call when you’re finally nearing him. His head lifts up at the sound of your voice and searches for you among the sea of men. “Please! You have to take him back inside! I received a call from Kim Ming---”

BANG!

BANG! 

It was searingly fast. Your whole body collapses on the sweltering concrete before you could reach your father and when his eyes finally find you, you are already swimming in the pool of your blood.  

“It’s always good to see you Mrs. Wang,” Wonwoo compliments the old lady who’s starting to frequent the emergency room. “But not in this manner.”

The old lady gives him a cheeky grin and pinches one of his cheeks. If Wonwoo doesn’t know any better, she’s doing this to not get scolded any further. 

“Your blood sugar is high and I don’t think your granddaughter appreciates her grandma endangering her own life,” he lightly scolds her, if that’s how he can put it. He’s still a doctor after all. “She loves you and she wants you to be healthy when she walks down the aisle in the future.”

Mrs. Wang gives him a silent nod at the mention of her granddaughter, promising that she won’t disobey anymore. That relieves Wonwoo, his lips lifting in a smile. He signs her clearance and hands it back to the nurse. After a few more instructions, he takes his leave and walks back to the information desk. 

He takes one of the patients charts to read. The phone rings and the nurse in charge immediately picks it up and answers. At first, Wonwoo didn’t bother looking up from the paper because emergency calls happen every three seconds. But when there was an eerie silence amidst the loud and busy room, his curiosity made his head tilt up only to get surprised at the widened eyes the nurse was giving him. 

He was about to ask what’s wrong but when he heard the sound of the siren nearing, he ignores his suspicions and runs to the entrance. 

The ambulance parks at a safe distance and the paramedics get out. They move quickly to get the patient out and when they see him, their mouth falls open but no words come out.

Wonwoo didn’t notice so he proceeded to ask, “How’s the patient?”

“Wonwoo!”

Soonyoung almost tripped on his feet as he tried to get a hold of his friend. He takes his arms and tries to pull him away from the ambulance he’s about to open. Wonwoo is starting to get irritated at the bizarre and disconcerting feeling that’s starting to settle in the emergency room.

Wonwoo knocks him off with a glare. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Wonwoo, please,” Soonyoung begs with an unsteady voice, clinging to his friend. 

“Female, late twenties, two gunshot wounds,” one of the paramedics finally yet carefully reports while the other opens the doors of the ambulance. “It’s Her Highness, Princess Y/N.”

Wonwoo roughly removes his friends hand from his arm to step closer to the ambulance and when he sees your lifeless body, he didn’t waste any more time and helped the paramedics move the stretcher out. Soonyoung can see his friend’s hands shaking as he takes hold of the bloodied gurney. He knows he has to stop him right now. 

“Baby,” Wonwoo calls as he runs and wheels you inside. You can’t hear him, but he has to try. He observes proper protocol of transferring you to the bed of the emergency room before applying more pressure to your wounds. You have lost a lot of blood already and it’s not helping Wonwoo that he can’t see your eyes.

“Please, please, please,” Wonwoo whispers as he removes all the obstructions on your body and when his eyes catch the necklace he gave around your neck, his legs grow weak and removing it from you made his tears fall.

“Baby, please,” he pleads. “Open your eyes, hmm?”

Soonyoung steps in together with the doctor who will perform the surgery and take everything from here. He slowly pulls his friend away from your body. Wonwoo didn’t protest anymore, there’s nothing in him left to do so. Your blood is in his hands, in his white coat, it’s everywhere. 

This is not the distance Wonwoo wanted. 

He can’t be apart from you forever.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Would you write some steamy make out session between fem!reader x a daughter of your choice? Maybe the daughter would sneak out of the castle or sneak reader in the castle into her bedroom. They can go all the way, I'd love a dominant top reader in this, but if you're not comfortable writing about that someone can interrupt them when reader is just about have their hand in the daughter's pants. Thank you in advance!

I picked Bela, cuz I've already got some nsfw with the other two planned. Not gonna lie, this had me, like, screaming in the middle of the night because I'm incredibly easily flustered, and whooooo boy this is what the folks would call "horny". Anyway, I tried, hopefully it's good. If not, please forgive me, I haven't written nsfw in ages (can you believe I used to write this stuff with a straight face?). PS: the reader probably isn't as dominant as you were going for? I just, idk, personally exude bottom energy (even as an ace) and struggle a lil with that sort of thing. If I understand terms correctly (and I do not), the reader might count as a 'service top'. What does that even mean. I'm probably not correct. Just. Just read the thing and see if it's any good, leave me to my awkward flailing.

Under read-more for horny, obvs. Also because this is, like, 1.5k words, which belongs under a read-more. Oh, also not beta read? I could not willingly make someone read this and edit it.

Sweet Talkin' (Alt: the fic that killed j)

“Are you sure we won’t get caught?” You asked, butterflies in your stomach, equal parts nervous and excited. This date had taken weeks of planning. Every last detail was covered, from location to timing to where a certain noble would be, backed up by maidens and begrudging sisters alike. At the end of the day, you really shouldn’t be nervous. But considering just how special this was supposed to be… well, you couldn’t help your anxiety. Evidently your girlfriend feels much the same, as her reassuring smile was hardly as confident as it normally was.

“We’ve gone over this a thousand times, darling, we know it’s going to work out fine,” Bela Dimitrescu replied, before pulling you in for a quick kiss. The two of you stay in each other’s arms for a moment, gently resting your foreheads together. “It will be fine, it has to be. If my mother found out-”

“She won’t,” you interjected, quickly, trying to do for her what she had done for you. “You said it yourself, we’ve double and triple checked. As long as we finish up before dinner, as planned, your sisters will keep her distracted. Admittedly I’m still not sure how you managed to convince them to help.”

“The threat of mutually assured destruction,” Bela replied, as if it was obvious. Something about the way she was always so fast to respond, usually with something clever, made your heart skip a beat. Ooh, and the confidence she radiated? Even better. “Besides, I’ve covered for the two of them a dozen times or more, I think they owe me one. Now, let’s just enjoy this time we have together, alright?” Then she takes both of your hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze, while looking at you lovingly.

“Is it getting a little warm in here, or is it just me?” You asked, blushing, almost overwhelmed by the heat shared between the two of you. There’s a slight lump in your throat, but you push it down as fast as you can. After all, this was exactly what the two of you had wanted, and you happened to have a little ‘surprise’ in mind. Now seemed like the perfect chance to act. “Maybe we should do something about it, hmm? Don’t want me overheating during our date, now do we?” Well, it wasn’t your smoothest moment, for sure. But you were used to Bela taking the lead in these sorts of situations. This was simply your turn to have some fun, finally show that you didn’t always need to be told what to do (not that you minded, at least not when it was Bela giving you commands).

“Oh? Do elaborate, darling, I’d love to hear what you’re suggesting,” she replied, soft smile betraying her mirth. For a second you see her gaze drift from your eyes to your lips, and you have a feeling you know exactly what she’s thinking about. Seizing the moment, you wrap an arm around her waist, then pull her in for a kiss. Soon enough you two are pressed against each other, eager in your movements, hearts racing in sync. Slowly but surely you move your hand, edging it down her back, then a little further… Bela gasps as you gently grab her ass, not having expected you to be the first to make such a move. A few moments later you have to break for air, chests heaving, but you don’t let go of her entirely.

“Less clothes, for starters. And since your skin isn’t, hmm, quite as warm as mine… I was thinking I could use that to my advantage. If your thighs need a little warming, we could kill two birds with one stone,” you said, practically purring, voice lower than usual. A blush soon rises up Bela’s cheeks as she considers your offer. It doesn’t take her long to smirk, satisfied, one hand going to cup your cheek.

“Right now, there is nothing I would love more,” she murmured. It’s all the encouragement you need to act. Without hesitation you tuck an arm behind her legs, sweeping her up and onto the desk in one smooth motion. It’s a good thing she cleaned up for our date, you think, as you position your body between her thighs. For now you focus your lips on her neck, leaving a trail of kisses along it. Meanwhile your hands find themselves on the fabric of her dress, slowly sliding it upwards, revealing more of her soft skin, ready and waiting for your touch. She lets out a quiet moan as you work, using one hand to hold your head close to her. “You’re rather eager today, dear. Worried we won’t have time for you to get a turn?” Bela asked, in between sharp breaths, teasing as ever.

Instead of replying, you just run your tongue over a particularly sensitive spot on her neck (one you’ve taken advantage of many, many times), unable to stop yourself from smiling when it draws another, louder, moan from her lips. Savoring the feeling, you give her the softest lovebite you can manage. Then you finally get the hem of her dress up to her thighs, allowing you all the access you need, and you pull back to look her in the eyes.

“The only thing I’m worried about is how loud you’re about to be. I wouldn’t want to scar the other maidens,” you said, grinning. Part of you remembers that Daniela and her girlfriend had already handed out plenty of mental scars. The rest of you, however, is content to focus on your girlfriend. So you give her one last quick peck on the lips. Seconds later you’re on your knees, looking up to admire the view. You can’t help but release a low breath at the sight. It takes you a moment to recover, blushing heavily, before you get back to work. Reaching up you take the edge of her underwear in your hands, tugging it away. Bela shifts as you do, trying to make it easier for you, and before long you’ve removed it entirely and tossed the garment over your shoulder. Normally you’d be neater, but when the two of you had all the time in the world… why bother?

Even with one hell of a prize right there, you don’t go straight for her cunt. You place a kiss against her inner thigh, then another one, taking your sweet time. It’s driving Bela crazy, and she’s squirming in place. Picking up the pace just a bit, you add in a couple nibbles, slowly climbing up her thighs, hands ensuring they stayed parted. Right as you move in for more, her fingers tangle in your hair, urging you closer, closer. On one hand you want to tease her, payback for a dozen times she’s done this exact thing to you. On the other hand… your lips can’t help themselves. You’re kissing her clit, loving the way she gasps in response, switching to using your tongue, quick licks one after another. Now her fingers are curling in your hair, pulling ever so slightly.

“Babe,” Bela gasped, struggling to keep herself from bucking too hard, free hand clenching the desk as hard as she could. Eager to please her further, you work faster, tongue rolling over her wet folds, then focusing on her clit, cycling the motions, even as she moves herself against you. You swear you can almost hear her heart racing- but it’s just your own beating in your ears, nearly drowned out by the sound of her pleasure. Every sound urges you onward, rewarding every lick or kiss with a surge of pride. You were the reason she was gasping, calling your name, shaking ever the slightest. Soon, well, soon you’ll be the reason why she was cumming. “Oh fuck,” she said, tensing up for a split second, one last lick sending her over the edge. The way she tugs on your hair hurts, but you know it’s more out of reflex than anything else.

“Mmm,” you hummed, pressing a couple soft kisses to Bela’s inner thighs, letting her come down from her high without having to worry about overstimulation (at least not yet). Then you’re rising back to your feet, glad to stretch out a little. “Ready for round two?” You asked, teasing, though a hundred percent ready if she did agree. To your surprise… she nods, eagerly, sending you a familiar smirk. “Well, I’d better get to work, then.” With that said you move closer, grinning just as wide as your girlfriend, beyond glad that you had plenty of time to do whatever you wanted with each other… because the two of you were going to need every minute.

[justthehiddleswrites]

Make It Hard For Me | Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Summary:  The hotel lost your best friend’s, Tom Hiddleston, hotel reservation. So now you are sharing a room. A room with one king sized bed. Add in that you are hopelessly in love with your best friend. This is a recipe for disaster. Tom has a very arousing dream the first night in the room which only further complicates matters.

Warnings: Dom/sub Undertones, Light BDSM, Sub!Tom, Female Dominant, Friends to Lovers, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Dom/sub, Light Dom/sub, Begging, Dry Humping, Grinding, Smut, Sharing a Bed

-

Tom shoved the heavy hotel door open with his shoulder, hands full with his luggage. You followed behind him, ladened with your own bags. Tom scowled and huffed when he dropped the bags just inside the door. You stumbled around him.

“I can’t believe the hotel lost my reservation!” Tom groaned. You put your bags down on the ground and sighed. Tom hadn’t stopped whining since he discovered they would share a room for the next two days.

“At least they didn’t lose mine.” you responded. “Then we would really be up shit’s creek.”

Tom stepped into the room. “Fuck. We are up shit’s creek.” He chuckled darkly.

You peeked around him to see what caused your normally composed friend to curse. You spied a single king sized bed. Your cheeks heated at the thought of sharing a bed with Tom.

“It will be fine. I’ll just take….” you scanned the room. “… that chair over there.”

Tom screwed his face up, and then his shoulders relaxed, taking a deep breath. “If anyone is sleeping in a chair or on the floor, it will be me, darling. It is your room.” He removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I apologize for my mood. I don’t travel well.”

You flopped onto the bed. Tom’s eyes widened as your boobs bounced. He stuck his hand in his pocket and adjusted while your eyes were closed. “I remember that trip to New York two years ago. You were an absolute bear until you slept.” you groaned, wincing as you dug underneath your hips extracting a TV remote. “Speaking of Schitt’s Creek, want to watch the latest season?” You waggled the remote at Tom, whose hand was still in his pocket. “I’ll even pay for room service.” you sing-songed the last sentence.

Tom’s lips curled in a smile and he chuckled, dropping his chin down. “Let me take a shower first and wash off the flight.” He headed towards the bathroom.

“Don’t use all the hot water!” you yelled after him, grabbing the room service menu and flipping through it.

Tom’s head popped around a corner. He gave a brief salute. “Yes, ma’am.” he smirked before disappearing again.

You fell back onto the mattress. “Fuck me.” you hissed.

-

Two hours later, Tom lied on the bed, his curls still half wet, eating room service chocolate cake and watching the latest escapades of the Rose family. You stifled a yawn next to him. Tom paused the episode.

“Sorry, the jet lag is finally hitting me.” you yawned again. Tom turned off the TV and stood up, pulling his shirt off. Your eyes widened in shock. “What are you doing?”

Tom stared at you, confused. “Getting ready for bed? I sleep in boxers.”

“Oh.” You squirmed under the covers.

Tom held out his hands. “Unless you are going to be uncomfortable—”

“NO!” you snapped back a bit too quick. “No. It’s fine. You are the one who has to work, you should be comfortable.” You flipped his side of the covers back. “Get in.”

Tom blushed, but slipped under the sheets just the same. You leaned over and kissed his cheek, ruffling his hair. His blush deepened. Tom turned onto his side to hide his face. “Night.”

“Night.” You snuggled under the covers and switched off the light before slipping into a deep sleep. Tom stared at the ceiling, too worked out to even consider sleeping.

-

Tom’s moans pulled you out of a restless sleep. The room was dark from the blackout curtains. You squinted to make out his form on the other side of the bed. He was on his stomach and grunting. It took several moments before you realized what Tom was doing. Your breath caught in your throat. You should have turned away, but you didn’t. Your friend, your crush, the starring role in all your sexual fantasies was grinding against the mattress next to you. Moaning.

“Please.” Tom whined in his sleep, hips rocking. “Please, ma’am, let me…”

You gasped, loud enough to disrupt Tom, who rolled onto his side. Whether or not he woke up was unclear. You rolled over in haste, not realizing how close to the edge you had scooted to stare. The loud thud of your body hitting the unyielding hotel room floor woke Tom for certain. He bolted from the bed and rushed to your side of the bed.

“Are you okay?” Tom asked, his face masked with worry, brow furrowed. He was unaware of the raging hard-on stretching against his boxers until it was too late. Tom prayed you hadn’t noticed.

You had, but were in too much shock to say anything. “Fine. I’m fine.” You brushed off his offered hand, scrambling to your feet. “Just a nightmare.”

Tom straightened himself up and twisted his body into an unnatural position to hide his clear arousal. Still deluded that you hadn’t noticed. “Must have been some nightmare.” Tom chuckled and his laugh disappeared into the dark night, leaving nothing but an awkward silence.

“It was something alright.” you retorted, slipping back underneath the covers. You punched the pillow back into shape. “I’m going to get some more sleep. You?”

Tom couldn’t go back to sleep now, next to you. Not in such a state. He tried to remember what he had been dreaming about before you hit the floor. The dream drifted out of his mind like tendrils of smoke, but considering his state, it must have been a sex dream.

“I’ll hit the bathroom first.” He hooked his thumb behind him. “Don’t wait up.” He joked before ducking away.

You settled in and feigned sleep until Tom returned, and the two of you drifted off.

-

The alarm rang too soon for Tom’s taste. He groaned, reaching out for his phone, hitting the snooze.

“Five more minutes.” he muttered into his pillow.

You stood up and slipped into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. When you emerged, Tom still laid asleep. His bare back exposed to the air. You marveled at the form of him, wondering how it would feel to run your hands along the planes and angles of Tom’s body. Your body heated at the thought of what you would or could do to him.

“You’re staring.” Tom’s voice cut through your daydream.

You jumped a bit. “Sorry.”

Tom sat up and smiled, ruffling his mussed ginger curls. “It’s okay. Just not used to the stares coming from you of all people.” He reached over and grabbed his shirt from last night, pulling it on.

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, boy.” You slipped the last word and smiled as Tom blushed at the moniker. As you suspected he would. You stepped toe to toe with him, tilting your chin to see his face. “Now go take a shower while I order breakfast.”

“I love it when you boss me around.” Tom smiled, trying his best to keep his body from betraying his true feelings.

You curled up on your toes to kiss his cheek. “One of the many reasons we are best friends.” You smirked as Tom slid past you, smacking his butt.

He spun around in shock. “What has gotten into today?” The corners of his lips twitching into a smile.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe I thought you needed to be punished.” Your eyes twinkled. “Have you been naughty?”

The blood drained from Tom’s face. Had you seen something, he panicked. “No.” he choked out, digging through his luggage to find clothes for the day and ducking into the shower.

You stared at the spot where Tom once stood, hands on your hips. “Liar.” And then went hunting for the room service menu to order breakfast for Tom and yourself.

-

Tom ate his entire plate of pancakes and bacon, along with not one but two cups of coffee.

“Are you planning on running a marathon today?” you questioned as you nibbled on your fruit, having finished up some eggs earlier.

Tom wiped his mouth. “I don’t know when I will get time to eat again. Low blood sugar is a common problem at cons.”

“Well, we can’t have you passing out, can we?” you giggled.

Tom stood up. “Are you going to head over with me today?”

You shook your head. “Nah. I thought I would lie out at the pool for a bit.”

Tom nodded back. “Just as well. I’m only over there in the morning. Meet you back here for lunch?”

“Text me when you head back?”

“Will do.” He kissed your forehead.

“Good boy.” There goes that blushing again. “Have fun.”

Tom cleared his throat. “Right.” He pulled on his pair of well worn grey boots, grabbed his phone, sunglasses and hotel key before leaving the room.

-

The weather was hot, but a light breeze kept you from overheating poolside. You brought a book along to read but were too distracted to focus on William Joyce. This morning had brought some answers, but more questions. Questions about your relationship with Tom. By the time he texted you saying he was 15 minutes away, you resolved to clear the air once and for all.

No one noticed how distracted Tom was that morning. The perks of working with strangers. Had Luke or even being Benedict been around, he would have to explain why he couldn’t remember people’s names and his sudden case of butterfingers. Something was going on with you. That was all Tom knew. That and the fact he was hopelessly in love with you. Sharing a bed last night tipped him over to the point of confessing his feelings, just to clear the air. But he chickened out.

“Tom!” you called out from the bathroom as you heard the door slam to the hotel room. “I need help.”

Tom rushed to the sound of your voice. He stopped in his tracks when he spied you standing in the bathroom wearing just your swimsuit, still damp from your swim. It hugged your curves and Tom swallowed hard.

“I can’t get the strap undone. Will you help me?” You glanced over your shoulder at him. Tom blinked several times, not answering. “Tom?” You barely contained your smile. “Did you hear me?”

“What?”

“My suit strap.” You gestured around your neck. “Untie it for me.”

“Sure.” He choked out. “I’ll just…” You backed up until you pressed your body against him. You wiggled your ass against his crotch. “You are a bit too close.” He commented as he struggled to keep his fingers from shaking.

You jumped forward. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it hard.”

Tom’s fingers stopped picking at the knot. “What did you say?”

“I said I didn’t mean to make it hard, you know, untying the knot.” Tom finished undoing the knot, letting the straps fall on your back. His hands lighted on your shoulders, hot from the time in sun. You turned to face him, holding your suit up with your arm. How he wished you would move your arm. “What did you think? I was flirting?” You quirked an eyebrow.

Tom fidgeted, hands twisting in front of him, rocking back on his heels. “Well… no… of course not… that’s… you’re… and we are…” he mumbled and fumbled, cheeks turning a deep pink.

“Because I was.” You brushed past him, allowing the suit to drop as you stepped out of Tom’s sight.

It took Tom a second to register what you said. He turned on his heel to catch you digging for some clothes and pushed you against the wall, his lips crashing against yours. Your fingers weaved into Tom’s hair and you pulled his head away.

“So…” Your chest heaved against Tom’s, your nipples grazing along the fabric of his shirt.

“I want you.” Tom breathed, leaning to kiss you again. You tugged him away.

“I want you too.” You pulled him to whisper in his ear. “I saw you last night humping the mattress, begging. Will you beg for me, Tom?”

Tom gulped. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” You smirked at Tom, whose eyes grew wider every second.

“Yes, ma’am?” He ended his sentence with a question mark.

“Good boy.” You pressed your lips onto his as Tom moaned into your mouth. Tom’s tongue explored your mouth hungrily. Your hands slipped down to squeeze his cock through his jeans. “Very good boy.” you muttered, pushing Tom off of you. You shimmied out of your suit and took a seat at the edge of the bed. “Strip for me.”

Tom furrowed his brow. You frowned. “I don’t enjoy repeating myself, Tom. Now strip.”

The speed in which Tom peeled off his clothes probably broke records. You giggled as he hopped on one foot, tugging at his boots. You raised a single eyebrow and licked your lips when Tom pushed his jeans and boxers to the ground. “See something you like?” Tom responded.

“Just thinking all the rumors are true.” You leaned back onto your elbows and beckoned Tom over. He crawled on top of you to kiss you again. You pulled him away by the back of his head, pushing him down your torso. “Let’s find out how talented that mouth is.”

Tom pushed your legs open with his broad shoulders. His beard tickling your thighs. Tom sucked on the delicate skin before ghosting his lips over yours, earning a hitch in your breath. You tugged his hair hard.

“Stop teasing.”

“Yes. ma’am.” He licked a fat stripe along your slit. You shuddered and sighed.

“Yes. That’s a good boy.”

The praise only spurred on Tom’s efforts. His nose nudged your clit. You bucked up into him. As Tom sucked and licked you, your orgasm near.

“Tom, I’m…”

Your nails dug into his scalp when he sucked hard. You came with a scream and gushed onto Tom’s face, who continued to eat you out. You pulled him up and spun the two of you so Tom laid flat on his back. You teased the tip of his cock along your slit.

“You tell me when you are close.” You kissed his lips, his beard glistening. He tasted of you.

Tom nodded against you. You lowered yourself onto his cock. Tom hissed and grabbed your hips. You pushed his hands away. Tom whined.

“This is not about you. This is about me using you for pleasure. I will decide whether or not you get to cum, understood?” You stared down at him.

Tom twitched inside of you. “Yes ma’am.” You rocked against him. Tom bit his lip.

“I want to hear you.” You continued to ride him, flattening your palms against his chest.

Soon you could sense Tom getting close. “I’m…” Tom panted. You stopped moving on him. You clenched around him. Tom groaned, his eyes closing and his hands fisting at his sides.

“Do you want to cum, Tom?” You mock pouted.

“Please…” You clenched his shaft again with your walls and wiggled a bit.

“Please, please, please let me cum. I want to cum. I need to cum.” Tom pleaded. His eyes wide as you moved so slow on him.

You reached down to find your clit and rubbed it with your fingers. Your hips rocked back and forth frantically. You reached up with your other hand and squeezed your boob. You came with a gasp, squeezing tight around Tom.

“Come for me.” You hissed.

Tom bucked into you twice before spilling into you. You collapsed against Tom’s chest. He panted, his chest hair tickling your face. His hands reached up to draw swirls onto your bare back, goosebumps popping up. You rolled off of him to the side. Grabbing his chin and turning his head, you kissed his lips with a tender touch.

“I think we need to talk.” you commented with a smile.

Tom’s eyes fluttered open. “That is an understatement.”

The two of you giggled in each other’s arms.

[cuddlesslut]

Part Six: Promises

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x fem reader, Hinata x fem reader

A/N: Soooo at long last the reunion! So many emotions! I’m so stuck on who to root for!

Warnings: Angst, some fluff, slightly suggestive content

Part Five: Friends

Part Seven: Regrets

You eyes opened to the sun peering through the curtain shining straight right into your face. You moved your hands to block the sun easeing the strain it caused on your eyes. You were groggy, and you back felt stiff. This definitely wasn’t your bed. You surveyed the area finally remembering, that’s right I’m at Suna’s house. You let out a yawn wiping the sleep from your eyes. That when you felt him move next to you. Yesterday the boys had come back from their loss at nationals. While they made the trip back you spent the whole day getting everything ready for your boyfriend’s return. You wanted to make him feel better so you went to the market that morning and spent your day making homemade sashimi with Fatty Tuna and some Onigiri with the left overs for you ,Tsumu and his twin. Although when he finally arrived home and saw you sitting on his door step he wasn’t very receptive.

“Hey there baby,” you gave him a quiet smile, you know he can’t be feeling to hot right now. You ignored the hurt you felt when he rolled his eyes at you.

“What are you doing here YN?” He sighed there was a slight annoyance to his tone. Again you brushed it to the side.

“I wanted to come be here for you, oh and I brought some food for you and Samu,” you presented the bag containing all of the goodies you had made for them.

Osamu’s eyes lit up at the word food quickly grabbing the bag out your hands “ohhh hell yeah I’m starving, mmmh thanks YN,” he said trying to stuff an Onigiri in his mouth before entering the Miya household. You laughed at his antics before turning your attention back to your boyfriend.

Atsumu stood there in front of you with a look of exhaustion etched on his face. “I was thinking maybe we could spend the evening together, maybe watch a movie, or just cuddle or really whatever you want,” you explained not sure what would be the best in this situation you weren’t used to having to comfort him after a loss.

He frowned “what I want is to be left alone I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now.”

You scoffed “ deal with me!” You questioned back suprised by his attitude.

“Yeah YN I really dont feel like putting up with your clinginess right now it’s annoying,” he huffed.

Your jaw dropped he had never spoke to you that way before. “Wow Okay Atsumu, I knew you were gunna be upset but that doesn’t mean you get to be a dick to me! Enjoy the food I’m going to leave it’s obvious I’m not wanted here,” you stated not standing to be talked like that.

You didn’t stick around to hear his response, you both needed to calm down at this point. You made your way down the street still fuming and ranting in your head “how dare he!” You thought! Ughhh you needed to calm down. You already knew the destination you were heading for. You had planned to save some of the snacks you had made and bring some home to Suna on your way home tonight. But now all the food was with Atsumu. You could feel your stomach growl. You let out a frustrated sigh stuspid Tsumu that was you meal too. You decide to stop at convenience store loading up on all of yours and the middle blockers favorite snacks.

And that’s how you ended up where you are now. Laying down on his couch covered in his comforter with your best friends face snuggled up into your stomach. You giggled he looked adorable. Part of you really wanted snap a photo for proof. Suna was never the most affectionate when it came to anyone really, so to see him holding your waist close was so sweet. He looked so peaceful. You were so thankful for him. When you showed up at his door yesterday you were supposed to cheer him up but it seems it was more likely the other way around. Lost in thought you start running your fingers through his hair as he laid sleeping on your abdomen. He was always there for you and always put your feeling into account with anything you did together. He paid attention to the little details ,like how he had remembered yesterday that milk bread was your favorite, but he did that all the time always so analytical with everything. So you don’t think to much of it. It’s hard to stop yourself and if anyone EVER asked you , you would lie. But for a moment you imagined what it would be like if you were dating the withdrawn boy. You were quick to dismiss that idea though. It was wrong you love Atsumu you knew that and plus he was you best friend. Hell he was one of your boyfriends closest friends. Your smile dropped a little thinking about the setter. That’s right your boyfriend, that is if that what he still was. You weren’t mad anymore a little hurt yes but all the anger had disapatted. You understood he wasn’t in the best place and you weren’t going to let one fight break you up. But you couldn’t speak for him. Were you really that clingy? Did you annoy him that much? Did he still want to be with you? These intrusive thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of your phone. Huh speak of the devil.

Tsumu 💕 : hey babe.

Tsumu 💕: I know ur probably pissed u should be.

Tsumu 💕 : I’m so so sorry for being an ass yesterday. I was just so mad at myself for not doing enough at the match, but that doesn’t matter it was no excuse for how I treated you. I get it if you don’t want to deal with me anymore but I just want you to know you're not annoying I didn’t mean any of the shit I said I was just angry and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I promise it’ll never happen again please give me another chance I love you YN 🥺💕

You let out a sigh of relief. Looking back down at the boy laying next to you. He really was quite handsome, and so caring. He's going to make someone so happy one day.

You’re not sure what brought that memory into your head at this moment but you push it to the side as Suna approached you. He looked like a man on a mission weaving threw the bar patrons. It was like if he didn’t reach you in time you’d disappear. You found your heart beating faster as we neared you. Soon enough he was standing in front of you with a look of disbelief etched on his normally stoic face.

You were nervous what should you say. What if he’s angry with you. You didn’t get much time to worry because as soon as the middle blocker confirmed you weren't a figment of his imagination he pulled you into his chest. His arms wrapping around you securely. You quickly melt into his embrace a sense of familiarity swarming over you.

“Where the hell have you been dumbass,” he choked out before quickly pulling his emotions back in. You laughed into his chest at his nickname for you.

“Sorry Suna I just had to leave I couldn’t be around him anymore,” you choked out. You removed yourself from his grasp moving back to your seat at the bar. You motioned for him to join you. You took a large gulp needing to calm your nerves.

“Look don’t apologize, you were going through a lot , hell I don’t know how I would react if I found out the person I loved was cheating on me for two years, I might committed murder,” he lets out a nervous laugh. Your brain freezes two years.... two years your mind just keeps repeating like it just can’t possibly process that information. You face drops, you turn to the bartender “ another shot of tequila please, uh make that a double,” lord knows you need it.

Suna looks at you eyes wide you had never been much of a drinker before ,at least not hard liquor, the most you ever drank were a glass or two of wine. So to see you finish off your mixed drink then proceed to down a double shot of tequila was a sight.

Your mind was swimming. As you paid out the bartender leaving a nice tip for the speedy service your mind ran in circles around the new information. You knew he had cheated on you for the eight months with Yuki and part of you figured it wasn’t the first time but TWO DAMN YEARS! You want to scream and break something like he couldn’t betray you anymore then Suna has to go tell you it was for hell of a lot longer than you had figured. You froze you brain caught on to one detail. Suna knew it was for two years and you didn’t. Did he know the whole damn time! Your brain couldn’t think rationally. You need to get out of here. It was to much the music was too loud, the place was to crowded, you felt like you couldn’t breath. You gave him a look of disgust before turning and walking away ready to leave this place.

Suna was shocked all of the sudden you looked at him your face full of pain. Before he could realize what was happening you were slipping through the crowd. Oh no he panics he just found you he couldn't let you slip away that easy. He wanted to know why you dropped him. He needed to know if he meant that little to you. So he started running after you calling your name. Luck was on his side tonight. Although you had been able to make it out the club and partially down the block he was able to catch you.

“YN wait , where are you going,” he asked desperately reaching for your wrist to stop you. You snatched your arm away from him angry.

“I’m going home Suna leave me alone,” you shout over you shoulder heading towards your apartment luckily it wasn’t too far. Although you could feel the alcohol start to settle in you knew you could still navigate your way home.

“ stop YN talk to me,” you ignored him and kept walking he let out a groan of frustration and started following you. It not like he had just downed two shots but he had plenty of drinks before he had found you. He was not expecting to have to go for a walk.

You look over your shoulder noticing he was following you. “Ughh leave me alone Suna,” you yell back to him, “stop following me!”

“Too bad I am walking with you till get home, I just watched you put back a lot of alcohol I know you can’t be sober so there is no way I’m letting you go by yourself! I’m walking with you I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.” You sighed knowing there was no changing his mind. You looked forward continuing your trek home.

After that last outburst the rest of the walk was silent. Your mind was clouded. You wanted to cry so badly how could Suna act like he cared about you if he helped hide Atsumus betrayal from you. Maybe you were right maybe the friendship was a lie, maybe the connection was one sided. You could feel a swell of emotions in your chest. You denied it for long but you missed Suna. You missed your late night calls, you missed getting coffee , you missed forcing him to watch the newest episode of whatever anime you were watching, you missed hearing all about his games and being one of his number one fans, you missed sending memes, but most of all you missed how much he always seemed to be there when you needed him. But what if that was all just an act. What if ir was just a distraction from all the lies in your life. Before you knew it you were standing at you front door. You could feel his presence behind you unmoving.

“Goodbye Suna,” you huffed opening your door.

“STOP! YN please!” His voice broke. “Please don’t shut me out again! Talk to me!” You refused look back but if you did you’d see tears welling in his eyes holding on with all might trying not to spill over his heated cheeks. You looked at the entrance of your home every fiber in your body screaming at you to comfort him to reach out and hold him close, but you were so scared. So afraid to learn the truth.

“If our friendship ever meant anything to you please talk to me.” He voice so quiet like he was terrified of your response. You moved forward opening the door and stepping through the threshold. You could hear his sharp intake of air you could feel the pain radiating from him. You turned to him seeing Suna broken in a way you had never seen before. Not when he lost nationals, not when he lost his pet, not with any of his break ups. Your heart shattered at the sight. You looked into his eyes before opening you door wider for him to enter. You could see the relief rack through his body. Slowly as though he was unsure you’d change your mind at the last minute he stepped into your apartment. He tentatively took off his shoes before looking around your home studying every detail. You walk past him taking a seat on your couch you look down at the ground in front of you. You can feel the couch seat next to you shift under his weight his long legs entering your vision as you kept from looking up. You both sat in an uncomfortable silence both unsure were to start.

“So this is we’re you been all this time,” he let out a small laugh at the irony, “all that time I spent looking for you and here you were less then ten minutes away from me.”

Your face scrunched “ why would you look for me,” you asked letting your insecurities get the best of you.

He looked at you like you had just asked him if the sky was blue because to him that had to be stupidest question he had ever heard. You shifted uncomfortably under his stare you body now facing him. You head throbbing from the cluster of emotions and from the alcohol coursing throughout your body. You were sorta thankful for your inebriated state. You doubted you’d have the small amount of courage you have now with out it. Your attention turned back to the male sitting beside you.

“Because I care about you dumbass.”

“Oh really! Yeah it sure seemed like that! Two years he cheated on me for TWO YEARS!,” you started to feel heated the walls you had built around your emotions bursting at the seems. “ that’s news to me although at this point I’m not all that surprised, but still I was only aware that he had been cheating on me for eight months! So I just find it strange that you know it was for two years! Tell me Suna did you know the whole time and just let me sit there ignorant to his betrayal! I know you are his friend and that you’ve known him longer but still I thought our friendship meant something!” You aren’t sure when it started but tears were spilling down your cheeks. You looked into his eyes and saw pain. He was hurt that you thought he’d ever choose anyone over you.

He takes a deep breath steadying himself “I’m going to explain everything and I need you to please just listen to me,” he sighs looking to you for your response. You gave a small nod . He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He rubs his hands over his face trying his best to calm his nerves.

“It was two weeks after your birthday,” he begins. “You weren’t answering your phone, it was so unusual for you to ignore me for that long no matter how busy you were you’d always call me and check up, so when I got no response I got scared you were angry with me ,so when I was meeting up with Osamu and he said he hadn’t heard from you either and that Atsumu wasn’t answering his phone neither we decided to stop by.” His face twitched with aggravation. “You can imagine our surprise to find the place a mess and Atsumu just sitting there in self pity. It became apparent that you weren’t there. When he said you left him Samu and I were shocked there was no way you’d just leave so we both knew something had to happen.” You could see Suna’s jaw clench and fist ball up grabbing at his pants. “When he finally broke and told us he cheated on you and you had caught him he came clean about the two years. I couldn’t hear anymore of his bullshit so I punched him and left.” Your eyes went wide. He punched him. “Osamu had to come outside and calm me down, I was so worried no one knew where you were and that ass was just sitting there feeling bad for himself!” He seethed. You placed your hand on his arm trying to calm him. It must have done the trick. He took a deep breath before looking straight into your eyes. “I honestly thought you knew how long, I didn’t know I promise you that,” he picked up your free hand holding it in his. “You should know I’d never choose him or anyone for that matter over you.”

Your heart felt like it stopped in that moment. “Why would you say that,” you asked breathless.

He let out a chuckle he brought his hand up to caress your face. You couldn’t stop yourself from pressing your cheek firmly into his palm. You heart started to quicken. There was a look in the middle blockers eyes that you had never noticed before although it looked so familiar like this was how he always looked at you and you were just to blind to notice. “I thought it would have been obvious by now,” you didn’t notice how close you had both become. His face was merely an inch or two away from yours. His eyes glanced down to your lips, you copy the motion. You can feel your cheeks heat. “ I’m in love with you,” he states his breath hiting you face. Before you knew it his lips were connected to yours.

You didn’t pull back enjoying the feeling of his lips. He snaked his hand behind your head holding the back of your neck securely. The kiss was slow but so full of passion. You felt a light lick of his tongue as he requested to deepen the kiss. You gladly obliged opening your mouth to his exploration. You snaked your hands into his hair adjusting your body to his. Slowly he leaned you back on the couch capturing you underneath him. He slid he’s free hand down grabbing ahold of your hip as your tongue danced together sensually. He gave a light squeez to your hip. Your lips disconnected as your head fell back while you let out a soft moan. He seized this opportunity to place delicate kisses under your jaw and down your neck before latching on to your neck. You legs spread allowing him closer access to you. The hand at you hip gently crept up your shirt before giving a tender clutch to your breast.

“Suna!” You mewled.

He gave a soft nip at your neck “say my name love,” he requested his voice heavy with want. He tweaked your nipple through the fabric of your bra.

“Ahh Rintarou,” you moaned. Your fingers gripping at the black strands of his hair your back arching up into his touch.

You could feel him smile into your neck. “You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of hearing that,” he recapture your lips into a searing kiss as he rolled his hips into yours bringing another whimper forth. You were lost in the feeling of his presence. It was so calming and warm. You felt so comfortable in his arms like this was something you had done a thousand times. Your want for oxygen is sacrificed for the feeling of him pressed into your body. This was different than anything else. It was like he was trying to pour all of his love into this moment. Everything moving slowly as though he wanted to take his time with you. Nothing was hurried or fueled by lust. It was so unlike anything you experienced with Atsumu, or with .....

“Stop,” you breathed disconnecting your lips sitting up trying to create some distance between your bodies. He moved back worried. Cautious of his next move not wanting to scare you away.

“I’m sorry did I hurt you? did I move to fast? I’m sorry YN,” he stammered out.

“Shh Rin, it’s okay you didn’t do anything wrong it’s me,” he gave a small smile loving hearing you call him by his given name. That smile was quickly replaced with a questioning look.

You calmed yourself trying to figure out how to explain your situation. “Rin I can’t do this right now it’s not okay.... there’s someone,” his face dropped.

“Your dating someone,” you could see the fear on his face.

“Well no we’re not dating... it complicated.”

He could start to figure out what you were referring to, he’s not naive. But still he wanted to allow you to explain it.

“Ah this is kind of embarrassing ugh,” you hid your face in your hands.

“It’s okay YN you can tell me anything,” he looked at you reassuring, he needed to know the truth about the situation. He could only hope it wasn’t to serious.

“Well ,” you took a deep breath “ there’s this guy, he’s my friend,” you add “ he and I are uhh well we sleep together, it’s been going on for two months now,” you search his face for any judgment yet you find none. You continue “ I just don’t feel right continuing with what we were doing.”

He shook his head while he searched for his next words. “So you aren’t dating but you don’t feel right being with someone else,” he questions.

“I won’t lie to Rin it’s complicated, I’m fairly certain I was falling for him, but there’s just so much going on and now this with you it’s a lot.” You give him a small smile. “I’m not sure we’re my head is at. I don’t want to make any mistakes that could ruin everything with you and how we move forward, I also have a lot to think about.”

“I understand that but I hope you understand why I’m hesitant, I’m afraid you’ll drop me again and you’ll be gone from me again,” he looked up at you. “I need to know YN, please tell me why did you cut me out of your life?”

You sighed grabbing his hands holding then tightly in your own. “Rin it was so hard, when he betrayed me it felt as though I’d lost the place I called home, like everything I knew was a lie, it terrified me at the idea that everything was a lie, even us, I don’t think I’d survived if I found out that what we have was nothing. So it was easier to push you and everyone else away, I was scared. I also couldn’t stand the idea of Atsumu being in any part of my life, and I still don’t that’s why I’m still so nervous letting you back in, I’m still not ready to face him.”

“I would cut him completely out of my life for you YN, anything you ask and I do it! You could ask for the moon and I’d find a way.” A soft giggle left your lips at his proclamation.

“I could never ask that of you, that’d include Osamu and he’s your closest friend, I couldn’t do that. And I’m not asking you to cut anyone out.... I just need some time,please understand that. These feeling I have for you are so strong but I want to sort them out before we move forward.” You looked him directly in the eyes. “I promise you Rin I will not drop you again, I don’t want you out of my life.” He nodded.

“Okay, I understand and I’ll give you time, but you have to give me your new number,” he smiled at you. You laughed smiling up at him. God how he missed that smile. You traded numbers, before you walked him to the door.

“Goodnight Rin,” you smiled.

“Goodnight love,” he replied leaning down stealing one more kiss. You looked up at him surprised. “What I promised I’d give you time, I never said I wasn’t going to prove to you in that time just how much I love you,” he grinned that sly smile before slipping out your door. Just like earlier that day you slid down your door sitting on the floor letiting out a sigh, except now you had a multitude of new problems. But right now all you could think of was sleep. You were exhausted.

Home Masterlist

Taglist OPEN

Taglist : @animeboihoe @karlitabi-rrito @mutli-fandom-fanfic @comically-sleep-deprived @madmelle @momoinot @eggbutnotyolk @yunhosblackgf @6sakusa @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @a-fucking-simp @its-babybitch @sakusasonlywife @japanushiiiii @dekuspet @sredamancy @haikyuusimp91 @shoyosbitchh @far-off-dream @tsukkisfatsimp @nestlevanilla @simply-not-the-same @porcolie @uwubby-1 @ahopefulbouquetcollection @graykageyama @elianetsantana @allykat7599 @airybnb @wonhomarshmallow @minnieminnie00-got7 @weebtato

Those bolded couldn’t be tagged

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Prey for You | Part 4

Genre: Smut, angst, and some fluff this time

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary:  It has come to this. After your landlord kicks you out, you’re at Chan’s mercy. Turns out, he might not be as bad as you thought he was.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, switch!reader, switch!chan, wolf!hybrid chan, fox!hybrid reader, thigh riding, really unheathly dynamics

A/N: this part is like the opposite of a tootsie roll soft on the outside hard on the inside

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 Part 5, Part 6

“This is just for a short while.” You say, swallowing the bile that has risen up in your throat as you look at the smug wolf sitting in front of you on his couch.

“Sure.” He shrugs nonchalant, but the cocky arch of his brow says otherwise and you have to squash down your pride with everything you’ve got not to jump on him. Like it or not, you’re at his mercy now that your landlord has officially evicted you. Without his gracious help, you’d now be on the streets. “I’ll find another place as soon as I can.”

“You can take all the time you need.” He opens his arms wide, going for a welcoming vibe but the stupid grin on his face counteracts it.

“No. I’ll be out of here soon.” You deadpan, not wanting to owe him more than you already do. God knows he’ll hold his over your head forever.  "And I don't feel comfortable living here for free so from now on until I leave, I'll be taking care of things around the house."

“Oh, how domestic.” He chirps sweetly.

"More like a live-in maid." You mutter under your breath but he easily hears it, the stupid grin finally dropping from his face as he sits forward and looks at you sincerely. "Don't say that. I meant what I said. You’re here as a friend."

"Yeah, sure." You snort. “You’re basically high from gloating.”

A smile tickles his lips again as he leans back. “I always enjoy the chance to one-up you, but that doesn’t mean I’m lying.”

“Wow, you really are a saint.” You jeer, grabbing your bag and heading towards the room that is to be yours.  

_________________

To your great surprise, living with Chan was actually kind of nice. Aside from the obvious perk of living in such a comfortable, beautiful house that had everything you could ever need. Chan himself was proving himself to be a quiet congenial roommate. Most importantly, he left you the hell alone for the most part, staying cooped up in his studio the majority of the day so that you barely even saw him. And despite your agreement that you’d take care of things around the house, he still did most of his things himself, picking up after himself and washing his clothes before you got the chance to. He fed himself too as indicated by the boxes of takeout from every possible fast food place filling out the trash. So you were barely wasting any time on taking care of the house, and spending most of your days following up on your studies like you so sorely needed. 

All in all, this whole arrangement was working out positively in your favor. Too positively, that you have to wonder what he was getting out of this. He can’t possibly really be doing this out of the goodness of his heart, especially since no one is even aware of this kind deed for him to gain any morality points off of it. He hasn’t even made a move on you for the whole three weeks you’d been here, seeming content to just coexist with you that you were starting to feel like you were taking advantage of him somehow. Even though this whole thing was his idea. 

Maybe that, your momentary self-doubt, is what prompted you to do what you did next. 

“Hmm, something smells nice.” Chan remarks, walking into the kitchen where you were making yourself some food. He stands behind you to take a look at what you were cooking, and you feel your heart skipping a beat at the now familiar scent of him filling your nostrils and his body being so close to you. And when he speaks, his voice deep and calm next to your ear, it makes your skin tingle. “Looks tasty too.” 

And like a teenager who had the great fortune of being noticed by the popular jock, you twist your head around to look at him, dewy-eyed as the words stumble out of your mouth before you can think them over. “Would you like to have dinner with me today?”

He pauses, looking at you curiously and you turn back to the food and continue nervously, “I mean, that junk food you eat everyday can’t be good for you.” 

“Aw, are you worried about me?” He asks cheekily, and your shoulders tense. “Never mind.” 

“No, no, I’ll have dinner with you.” He rushes to say, plopping down on a seat resolutely. “No take backsies.”

“Idiot.” You mutter, finding yourself wearing an involuntary smile because of him once again.

__________________________________ 

You’re not the best cook, you’ll be the first to admit it, but Chan praises your food like you are a world class chef. 

“Fuck off, Chan. It’s not that good.” You protest awkwardly, not really used to being complimented. But he insists, mouth full of food, “It is! It’s sublime.” 

You look down at your food to avoid eye contact with him and put on your best snooty voice. “Poor thing. Your habit of eating exclusively junk food must’ve ruined your palate to the point where you think my cooking is anything but decent.” 

“You sell yourself short. These hands--” He suddenly grabs your hands suddenly, startling you as he kisses them. “They’re magic.” 

You yank them back to your lap, flustered, the adrenaline pushing your poor fluttering heart into overdrive and making you panic. You quickly grab your fork and shove some food into your mouth trying to distract yourself from the conflicting emotions clashing in your chest, and regretting it almost immediately as your nausea swells up. 

“Is that how you woo prey?” You snark, taking a big gulp of your wine to wash down the piece of food you barely chewed. “Blatantly lie to them about their cooking skills?” 

The atmosphere fully changes as Chan drops his cheery attitude.  “Can we not talk about… that? It’s just you and me here. We don’t have to let the outside world in, do we?”

You still, your sense of danger rising up exponentially at his suggestion, and once again you find yourself wondering why he was doing this. What was his endgame here? Was he just messing with you? He puts on an honorable performance but you’ve seen him slip before. It must get tiring for him. Maybe he wants to see you hurt; it’s in his nature and he’s been repressing it for so long. You’d be the perfect victim too. No one even knows you’re here, and even if they did, they’d never believe your word over his. 

Or he could be genuine. Maybe he’s as nice as he tries to be. But that just scares you more, because how do you deal with that? You’ve never had a relationship with someone that was open and trusting. You’ve always hid behind your games. They kept you safe. No one has ever truly hurt you because you’ve never allowed someone to get close enough. But if you trust Chan, if you let him in and he betrays you… you don’t know how you’d even recover from that. 

You want to believe though. Everyone always says how much of a good person he is, how loyal, how selfless, how supportive. They can’t all be blind, right? And you’ve seen it too, in the way he always strived to protect his friends from you. He wanted the best for them. Maybe he could want the best for you too.

“Okay.” You answer in a small voice, heart pounding. 

His answering smile is bright and big, but it does nothing to assuage your fears so you settle for taking another sip of your wine. That’s what it’s made for, right?

“So, what do you actually do? I never asked.” Chan makes conversation as he gets back to his food.

You clear your throat. “I’m a waitress.” 

“Oh, and… um, is that what you want to be doing?” He asks unsurely. 

You roll your eyes at him, feeling a little at ease at his naivety. “No. Nobody wants to work in the service industry. It’s basically slavery and all your costumers are either rude or crazy. I hate it.” 

He pauses, looking like he’s thinking very hard for a moment, before he asks, perplexed. “So why do you do it?”

“To eat?” 

“Oh. Right. Of course.” His ears turn red and it’s his turn to take a big gulp of his drink. “I’m, uh, apparently an idiot. Yes, people work to afford living. Of course.” 

“I guess you’ve never had to think about that.” You note, surprised that you don’t feel any bitterness as you say it. 

“No.” He stares at the food on his plate. “I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah but--”

“But I don’t have money so you feel sorry having money in front of me?” You grin, tone light, and he smiles back, face flushed as he obviously chastises himself in his head. 

“So…” He starts again, and it’s a little endearing how nervous he is. “What do you really wanna do?” 

You regard him for a second, wondering if you should really cross that line and let him in. Well, here goes nothing. 

“I’m studying to be a doctor.” 

His jaw drops to the floor. “You?”

“Yeah, shocking right?” You quip, taking another sip from your glass.

“I mean, yeah.” You would take offense at his words if it weren’t for the--you begrudgingly admit--endearing confused frown on his face. “Isn’t that a traditionally prey profession? Don’t you get, like, weird looks or something?”

“Yeah.” You snort, feeling the bitterness rise to the surface. “I get more than just weird looks. People feel the need to tell me every moment of every day how I’ll never be a good doctor. How no one will trust a fox with their life. How I should just quit and get into business or law or whatever other profession that can use my no-doubt nefarious skills.”

“That sucks.” He says then immediately cringes at his lame comment.

“Yeah, no shit. And guess who says it the most? Prey hybrids.” 

A light bulb suddenly clicks above his head. “Is that why you dislike them? They’re really not all like that--”

You interrupt him sharply, already knowing where he was going with this. “They’re not like that to you because you’re powerful and rich and you could do whatever you want, but they’re ruthless to me. They’ve always been. So yeah excuse me if I don’t care too much for your prey apologism. It’s pretty infuriating actually.”

“I really think you should--”

“What about you?” You ask pointedly, clearly wanting to change the subject. “I mean, I know that you’re a producer. I suppose this is what you’ve always wanted to be doing.” 

“Ah, yes.” He coughs, straightening in his seat as he reels back from the change of topic. “I’ve loved it since I was an angsty teen listening to hip hop and pretending like I’m so cool and gangsta.” 

The thought of little rich boy Chan swearing it up and down and acting like a thug brings an involuntary and sincere laugh out of you. It doesn’t bother Chan though. If anything, he looks content to have made you laugh. 

“Did you…” He begins after your laughter dies down, fiddling with the stem of his glass as he looks at you from under his lashes, “Have you ever listened to any of my tracks?”

“No.” You scoff, the word coming out automatically. I mean, why would you? It’s not like you like the guy. 

His face falls at your flippant answer. “Ah. Of course.” He says flatly, bringing his glass to his mouth. 

You feel a pang of guilt in your chest. Logically, you know you have no reason to feel bad. You two were never on the best of terms and you have no obligation to listen to his songs. And yet, as you look at his crestfallen face, the guilt still eats at you. 

“How about you show me some after dinner?” You find yourself suggesting and his face immediately brightens up. “Yeah! I mean… you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He interjects quickly, even though he clearly wants you to. 

“I want to.” You say firmly, and he smiles. ___________________________________

“I’m a nice guy who just has a lot of money?” You wheeze, cracking up and face flushed from the intoxication. You were somehow on Chan’s lap as the night progressed from him showing you his proudest works to his most regrettable ones.

“I know. I know. What was I thinking, right?” He laughs along with you despite his obvious embarrassment. 

You lean in close to his face, humming, "I think it's endearing." You kiss him. 

"You just like embarrassing me." He protests weakly, mouth opening against your lips. 

“Guilty.” You pull away to take his shirt off. Caressing his exposed muscles, you grin, “Hmm...yummy.” 

He bursts out laughing, “You like it?”

You shrug, “It’s not what I usually go for but I can get used to it.” 

He scoffs at that, and pulls your own shirt over your head. Tugging your bra over your breasts, he cups them in his hands and murmurs against your skin, “Well, I don’t need to get used to these.” before his mouth latches onto them. He sucks marks onto the sensitive flesh while his hands grope and knead your breasts. 

Looking up at you, he pushes your breasts together and laps his tongue over the nipples. Your arousal spikes as your gaze locks with his challenging one, and you start rocking yourself over his thigh. 

"Fuck that's hot." He mumbles, lightly tugging on your nipple with his teeth as he pulls away, making you moan out and your hips swivel down to push your core harder against his thigh. 

"Wait, wait," He pulls you to your feet, and you whine, protesting the loss. 

“Hush, baby girl.” He soothes, yanking your pants down your legs along with your underwear before he slips his hand between your legs to drag a finger up your slit, hissing when he feels your wetness. "That's what I want." He groans, pulling you back down on his thigh and using his grip on your hips to make you move over his thigh again. "Want you to ruin my pants with your cum, baby girl. Show me how much you need me."

"But I don't need you." You retort, though your hips don’t slow down. 

“Are you sure about that, my little fox?” He flexes his thigh under you, pushing it up more against your core. 

“Uh-huh.” You breathe, squeezing your eyes shut and throwing your head back. He takes the opportunity to get back to sucking on your breasts, which only makes your movements more frantic. 

“Come on, baby, tell me how good I am and I’ll help you.” He gasps between kisses. You tug on his hair, almost bouncing on his thigh now. “Why don’t you beg for it, pup?”

“Unbelievable.” He growls, pulling your head down. “You’re still so prideful even as you hump my leg like bitch.” 

Whatever stinging remark you would’ve hurled at him is muffled against his lips as he pulls you into a hungry kiss. You let him push his tongue into your mouth, taking him in and caressing it with your own before you put your hands to his chest and push him back. 

“You really want it? Want me to say how good you are for me? How wet you make me?"

He nods eagerly. 

“What a sweet pup.” You praise, “Striving so hard to please me. You’re doing so well, baby. You’ll make me cum real soon.” 

“Do it, please. I wanna see what you look like cumming up close.” 

“Keep tensing your leg like that and you’ll have me cumming in no time, puppy.” You bite your lip, small but needy moans flowing out of you. “What a good boy you are, so good.” 

“Please,” He whispers, his hands helping you move faster on his thigh. “Please, please.”

“So close---ah---oh god, so close...baby!” You gasp, grabbing onto him tightly as you finally cum, the orgasm surprisingly potent. He beams up at you, soaking up every little moan and shudder you let out. “So pretty.”

Gradually, your panting breaths turn into airy giggles as you get down from your high. You give his lips a peck before your hands fall between you and starts pulling his dick out from his sweatpants. You grin against his lips, feeling giddy. "I can’t believe I’m gonna let you fuck me in your studio. How cliche.”

His answering chuckles are punctuated with little moans as you glide your hand up and down his hard dick. “If it--ahh-- makes you feel any better, t-this is the--ahh, yeah like that, baby-- the first time I fuck anyone here.” 

You giggles increase in pitch, “You’re so full of shit, Chan.”

“I’m serious.” He whines, leaning up into your touch as you swipe your palm over the leaking head of his cock. “This is kind of a... sacred place for me."

“Yeah, right.” You roll your eyes, “It can’t be that special if you’re here with me now.”

“It is.” He insists with a pout, and continues casually as if it was nothing, “Because you’re special.” 

Your hand stills on his cock, your face turning to stone as you try and make sense of what he just said.  He's messing with you. He has to be.

Fear and uncertainty makes your stomach churn and your skin loses all color, your face getting cold and sweaty as the bile rises up in your throat. You thought you could handle this but you can’t. You’re too much of a coward to risk it and your sense of self-preservation rears its deformed head once again. 

Standing up abruptly, you croak through your suddenly dry mouth,  "I think I’m gonna go. I need to lie down" 

Chan gets up too, not letting you go. "Oh, is everything okay? Are you sick?". 

"I’m fine. I’m just..." You explain weakly, wriggling yourself out of his grip as quickly as you can in your intoxicated state. "I gotta go."

“Hey, wait!” Chan calls after you, but doesn’t try to stop you. You hear him curse out just before you get out of earshot.

____________________

You wake up with a huge headache and an even bigger feeling of dread. The events of last night coming back like a bullet shot through your chest, and you’re even more confused now with the hangover shattering any hope of a coherent thought forming in your head. 

You stumble out of bed and head to the door, resolving to get some water and some painkiller so you’d maybe start to feel like your head wasn’t likely to explode at any moment. But as you slide the door open, you hear bickering voices just outside in the living room.

"Chan, what the hell are you doing man?" You hear a familiar voice ask but your brain is too scattered to pinpoint the owner of it right now. Luckily, you don’t need to as Chan speaks up in reply, "It's fine, Jisung. It’s all under control."

"No, it's not. Isn’t that what you used to tell me? That no matter how much she makes it seem like she cares, she could flip the table on me at any moment and that I shouldn’t trust her. That’s what you said!”

You quickly pick up that they’re talking about you despite how much you don’t want to believe it. But that’s the kind of language that has always been directed at you, there is no mistaking it. Yet, against all reason, you hope it’s not true. Or at least, you hope Chan would deny it. 

He doesn’t, of course. They never do.

“I know what I said!” 

“And? Do you trust her now?” Jisung asks incredulously. 

“Of course not.” Chan vehemently denies, the resoluteness in his voice piercing straight through your heart. 

Of course not. Of course he doesn’t trust you. What a ridiculous question.  

“Jisung is right, Chan.” A new voice adds and you focus on the sound of it, trying not to break down just yet. “You’re letting her sleep under your roof, man, and you didn’t even think to tell us. Has she been messing with your head?”

They are talking about you like you are some kind of monster, some wild beast that would pounce on you the second you turned your back to it. You’d find it amusing coming from anyone else, but not from Chan, because for once in your life you wanted to believe that someone could see you as something other than what the world thought you were. You blame yourself for this one. 

“My head is fine.” Chan retorts angrily, letting out a forced sigh. “I’m just.... She was in trouble and I had to help her.” 

“Oh, you had to?” The new guy interjects mockingly, “Tell me, would she have helped you if you were in her position?”

“That’s irrelevant.” Chan protests. 

“No, it’s not. She would’ve let you suffer and laughed about it. She’s bad news, man.” 

“I think you guys are being a little harsh.” Another voice speaks up, deeper than the rest. “Maybe she’s not as bad as you think. I’m sure Chan has a good reason for trusting her.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure his dick does.” Jisung scoffs, “You know, I can’t believe you’d do this after preaching to me for hours about how I need to stay away from her and how stupid I am for letting her get to me. But hey, I’m just a stupid squirrel hybrid, right?” 

You’ve heard enough. Pushing the door the rest of the way open, you plaster a smile on your face and step into the living room, the four boys’ head snapping around to look at you. 

“Chan, you didn’t tell me we had guests.” You ponder theatrically, ignoring Chan’s dismayed exclamation of your name. "Oh hey, Sungie. I knew you'd be back for more." You wink at him and he immediately ducks behind the dark-haired stranger. 

“Please go back to your room.” Chan asks, equal measure pale and tense.

“But aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” Your eyes flit over the three guys, stopping when you get to the blonde, freckled one. “Especially this one. What’s your name, pretty boy?”

The boy blushes at the unexpected flirtation but extends his hand out to you nonetheless. "I'm Felix." He greets you unexpectedly cheerily, and you’re even more surprised to find out that he’s the one with the deep voice.

But before you can take his hand, Chan steps between the two of you. 

"I need to talk to you." He grits, pulling you to your room and shutting the door behind you. “What are you doing?”

You shrug, feigning ignorance. “Saying hi to the guests?” 

“Now is not the time for your games.” Chan rakes his hand through his hair, stressed out, but you keep up your innocent facade and he sighs in defeat. “You know what? Just stay in your room until they leave and then we’ll talk.”

“No, we’ll talk now. Are you ashamed of me or something?" You wonder, cocking your head to the side. “I thought you said I was special to you? But apparently you say a lot of things.”

“Baby--”

“Why, Chan?” You finally let your facade drop, letting the full extent of your disappointment and sadness break through. “If you don’t want me here then why did you offer in the first place?”

“I do want you here. I just wasn’t planning on anyone finding out about this.”

You laugh in disdain, “How do you always know what to say, Chan?” 

“I’m sorry but you have to realize how bad this looks for me. I worked fucking hard to get to where I am today. There are so many people waiting for me to make the slightest mistake so they can watch me fall. And here you are… well, you don’t exactly have the best reputation. If people find out about us then--”

“Wow, you really are an angel, aren’t you?” You bite, venom lacing your every word.

He laughs cruelly. “Oh, yes, and the judgement comes out. You’re such a fucking hypocrite. You can judge everyone and treat them like shit, but as soon as someone does the same to you you’re suddenly the poor misunderstood victim that everyone bullies.”

You reel back at the harshness of his tone and words. He’s never spoken to you like that before, no matter how much he was upset at you. It was jarring. “Stop it.”  

“Why? It’s what you’re best at, darling.” He sneers, continuing to ruthlessly attack you. “You judged me before you even knew me and went about treating me like a feeble predator because that’s what you decided that I am. And now you want me to take responsibility for your actions and stand up for you when other people treat you the way you’ve been treating them? But here’s the thing, baby; maybe if you had actually been a decent person and treated others with respect, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. Hell if you'd been a decent person, you wouldn't be having such a hard time anywhere, not with me, not with school, not--" 

"No, fuck you, chan. Don't you dare tell me this is all my fault. You know nothing about my life! I can't believe I actually--never mind.”

“No say it. You actually what? Liked me? Cared for me? Don’t make me laugh, fox. You don't give a shit about me. Every time I try to get close to you, you pull back like I make you sick. If it weren’t for me offering you a place to stay, you wouldn’t even be talking to me right now. You only care now because I have something to give you, but the second you’re done with me, you’ll throw me in the trash like you do everyone else. And I’m not going to sacrifice all that I’ve worked for to entertain you until you’re bored.”  

“You may be right. I may be as awful as you all say I am.” You smile, tears falling down your face. “But at least I'm honest with myself. You on the other hand? Under all your pretense, you're just as fucked up as I am. And one day, everyone will see you for how ugly you really are. ” 

_______________________________

A/N: sorry guys she (me) had to do it to you. leave your feedback uwu

[toraodwaterlaw]

Heart to Heart

Part 1 of a four part AU fic set just after Marineford. In this AU, Doflamingo discovered Law and kept Rosinante alive as a way to force Law into his service. Law becomes the third Corazon while Rosinante lives as a prisoner in the palace on Dressrosa. Hopefully this makes enough sense on its own. 😅

1365 words, angst with an eventual happy ending

-

Law slid to the ground and let his eyes close to the stable metronome of the twin pair of heart monitors. He hadn’t been this exhausted since the final days of his fight with Amber Lead. This time there was no poison in his blood. He was no longer a frail child but a healthy adult in peak condition. Doflamingo would accept no less of his second in command. However, there was no amount of training that could prepare him for keeping two patients alive through little more than sheer force of will.

Straw Hat Luffy and Jinbe, knight of the sea, would live. It would have been a difficult operation even with proper support. On his own, with only the powers of the Op-Op fruit to back him up, it had been a nightmare. He’d needed to keep a Room up for over twelve hours straight. There was still work to be done but he didn’t have the energy to stand, let alone continue a delicate operation. They were no longer careening toward death. That would have to do for the time being.

Law would have liked nothing more than to slip into unconsciousness himself. Ideally he would go to his quarters and slip into bed. It was one of the few places in the world where he felt secure enough anymore to fall into a deep sleep. At this point, though, he would have happily settled for passing out on the floor in the operating room. But what he might want would have to wait. It always did, when it came to Doflamingo.

He groped blindly at the shelf behind him until he found his den den mushi. He allowed himself one bracing breath before dialing.

“You’re alive.”

Law suppressed the shudder he felt at hearing that voice. After all these years it shouldn’t have affected him the way it did. “I am.”

“That was quite the show you put on.”

Law’s mind raced immediately in response, looking for the right response. Doflamingo was all about theatrics. His whole so-called Family was. So, there was a chance he approved of what Law had done. It would all depend on how this reflected on him. It would definitely cause a stir. Law had known that from the moment his small submarine surfaced at Marineford. He’d gone in knowing it was likely to be a disaster but, for some reason, he hadn’t cared. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d acted without first considering how Doflamingo would feel about it. What could Law say? If Doflamingo didn’t approve, Law was certain there wasn’t an explanation that would please him, regardless.

“I’m sorry.” The apology tasted like ash on his tongue, like the bile building at the back of his throat. “I—”

“I don’t really care,” Doflamingo drawled. A hint of amusement tinged his voice. With him, that could be genuine or it could be a sign of something very dangerous. He didn’t sound angry, at the very least, but that meant very little. Law knew the venom that could hide behind a smile. “I still have business to take care of but we’ll have to have a good talk as soon as you’re back in Dressrosa. Come home the moment you’re done playing around.”

The line went dead, leaving silence that rang in Law’s ears.

Home. It stuck out to Law, like a nail in the floorboards. Doflamingo couldn’t be so self centered that he thought Law actually felt that way about the palace on Dressrosa, even after nearly a decade. Or, actually, Doflamingo could very well be that delusional. The fact was, it could be the rest of Law’s life and he would never feel that way about it. Not that it mattered, in the end. Home or prison, it was where Law would always return. So long as Cora was there, Law would be, too.

He didn’t have to be, though, a dark voice inside him whispered. He could leave. There had never been a better opportunity for Law to slip away and never return. Doflamingo wouldn’t be expecting him back for weeks. He could have a real head start. He could finally be free.

“Dammit.”

He banged his head back against the metal cabinet behind him and jabbed another number into the den den mushi. A tap on the other end let him know that Cora was there and that it was safe to talk.

“Cora-san, I...”

Guilt tightened Law’s throat. He’d done nothing but betray Cora. His hand tightened around the receiver so that it creaked in his grip. He heard another tap from the other end of the line.

Yes?

Law swallowed hard. The less Cora knew of how Law had failed him, the better. Let him think that Law was in any way worthy of the sacrifices he’d made. But Law couldn’t leave him completely in the dark. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a migraine coming on. It was hard to think through the pain and haze of exhaustion. He was certain he was going to say the wrong thing.

“I did something stupid. Doflamingo already knows. I don’t know if it’s in the news already. Maybe you’ve already seen. I wanted you to know, though, in case Doflamingo— I want you to be safe.”

He counted heartbeats as he waited. Finally there were a series of taps. It was part of the communication they’d worked out over the years and a phrase Law had probably heard more than any other from Cora.

Are you okay?

“I’m fine.”

That lie came easily. He could have been asleep and the same words would have come out. He should have left it at that. That was safe. It might not satisfy Cora, but they were both used to conversations ending there. But then his roving eyes landed on the blood that was now splattered about his ordinarily spotless operating room. It was a mess. It was all a giant mess. Law bit down on his lip as it started to tremble. It wasn’t enough to stop him from venting everything that had built up. The entire story tumbled out, from waiting in Marineford’s harbor like the obedient dog he was to his snap decision and rushed escape as he struggled to drag two terminal patients back from the brink.

It all seemed to come out as one long jumble of words that left him breathless by the time he was done. “It was stupid,” he said, more to himself than to the man on the other end of the line. “I knew while I was doing it that I shouldn’t. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He’d watched as the brother Straw Hat had come to save was murdered in front of him. The oppressive weight of fire and death had nearly been enough to choke Law. It had struck something deep in him and shook loose long buried memories of Flevance.

Law’s hands started to shake as he waited for a response. There weren’t any more taps but a sharp inhale. Cora was upset. He’d said too much.

“I shouldn’t have done it,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry. Take care of yourself. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

He hung up. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until they hurt and he cried. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d let tears fall but he didn’t have the strength left to stop them.

He had to hope that one stupid act in ten years of service wouldn’t be enough for Doflamingo to decide to do something drastic. Or, if he did, let it fall on Law’s own head. This had nothing to do with Cora. Law was officially the third Corazon. It was time Doflamingo started punishing him directly for acting out.

Maybe he could make that argument. Or, if that didn’t work, he could beg. He would beg, if he had to. If it would save Cora, he would do anything. Hadn’t he shown that by now?

As he considered his options, Law slid further down onto the cold metal floor and fell into a fitful sleep.

[whatifxwereyou]

Ashes Chapter 9: City Lights

Pairing: Liu Kang x Reader

A good night, for the most part. You search for peace amongst the stars but you find something else instead. I hate writing summaries. Lol.

A/N: Hope you're all doing well. Thanks for reading! I'll be busy on Sunday because it's my birthday, but I will still be updating~

First Chapter << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

Afternoon became an evening spent with Cole, Allison, and Emily. You ate an early dinner, returned to the hotel, and found one of Johnny Cage’s movies to watch. You mostly laughed at it. “Gist of My Fist’ was a terrible name for a movie and the movie itself, while it wasn’t the worst movie that you had ever watched, was pretty up there. You had no qualms with bad movies. Watching it had at least prepared you for tomorrow if you had to use your arcana to persuade the actor into helping you.

When they were ordering room service and preparing another movie you said your farewells. It was late, you’d claimed, and you weren’t very hungry. You were socially exhausted, and you really weren’t hungry. So, it hadn’t exactly been a lie. It had been ages since you’d spent that much time with anyone outside of Kung Lao and Liu Kang in a social setting and it had drained you. You had forgotten how exhausting other people could be. They were incredibly nice, and you had become more comfortable around them, but you still needed to recharge your social battery.

That and you had to resist going to the bar for a drink.

Whiskey had been your lullaby nearly every night after Kung Lao had died.

Waking up next to Liu Kang had sobered you up but it had been days since then and your brain was so loud. A little drink would quiet it down. It was a bad idea, and you knew that but it didn’t mean you didn’t want to. The price of liquor at the hotel was enough to make you decide to think on it.

Instead, you decided to go to the roof where there was a garden setup for guests. At that late at night most people were leaving the garden, bothered by the nighttime bugs. You sat away from those who remained for some time, watching the world pass by below and the clouds moving over the ocean in the distance.

As time passed, you were left alone. You were both grateful for the silence and frustrated by the thoughts that immediately filled it. There had been a time where you’d been grateful to be alone and now it was torture. Raiden had been right to send Liu with you except that he was a big part of the reason that your thoughts were torture.

A pretty substantial part of why your thoughts were torture, actually.

What did anything mean anymore? You didn’t know.

Seated on one of the garden benches, you stayed silent for a long time. Once certain you were alone, you dared to do something that you hadn’t done since he’d died.

You drew Kung Lao.

He stood before you, tall, with a permanent look of smug satisfaction on his face. You walked around him and admired the details in his clothing right down to the misplaced thread on his favorite shirt. Then you stood beside him and watched the night sky. The stars were few and far between. There were too many lights in that part of the world to see the majesty of the night sky that you had admired only nights before alongside Liu Kang.

“I miss you.” You knew that the drawing couldn’t respond. It wasn’t real. Kung Lao was gone. You were alone. “I wish that I could talk to you. I wish I could tell you all the things that I made you wait to hear.” All you’d wanted was a conversation. A real conversation about what he thought marriage meant, about the fighting you’d done in the past few months. A moment for you to be honest about your history with Liu Kang.

Instead, he’d died and you’d never gotten the chance to say yes. You’d never gotten to understand what any of it had meant. You should have just said yes, damnit.

Liu Kang’s words were eating you alive.

Had your connection to him made you hesitate? He’d broken your heart and you’d gotten over him, sort of. You’d distanced yourself, at least. Now you were tearing yourself apart from the inside out because you were afraid it was true. What did it matter if it was? You would never know. Even so, you fixated next to the carefully crafted apparition of a man that you’d loved with your whole heart.

Nothing about this was healthy.

You were exhausted.

Stepping back from the drawing of Kung Lao, you lowered into a ready position. When you’d been angry with each other, bored, or you were frustrated, Kung Lao would spar with you. It usually ended up with you wrestling around laughing or in bed. Sometimes both. The drawing of Kung Lao did as you asked. It fought you and for a time it was soothing to keep up the action of something that you were good at.

You lost your balance on the stone and the ink caught you, wrapping its arms around you, and pulling you close against it. You admired his face and he smiled. He smiled because you wanted him to smile. Just the way that he used to. His hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into it, resting your hand over his.

Your eyes misted with tears. “I’m sorry, Kung Lao.” Time was supposed to heal all things but you weren’t sure that anything could do away with the guilt you felt. Closing your eyes, you tried to pretend that the hand wasn’t cold, dark ink. It was his warm and comforting hand. He would be there smiling down at you, telling you that you’d worried over nothing. You’d overthought it.

Then you were falling, your footing completely lost. Water pulled back from the shore, moving further and further away. It would come back tall and angry; it was a pattern you recognized. It meant you had to run but you couldn’t move. Hadn’t you been on the roof? The sand was hot beneath your toes and you were stuck. Your body was rooted firmly in place beyond your control.

The water rose in a wild roar, obscuring the sky with a sun that burned a brilliant red. You tried to scream, to warn others who might be in danger but there was no one. The air was suffocatingly hot, scorching. But as the wave grew closer, your stomach dropped into a tremendous pit and you felt sick. The air stunk of death and a wave of bodies soared toward you, towering high above. Winged creatures like giant bugs flew overhead through the dark skies. They were massive and you tried to get a better look, but the sun was so bright you couldn’t make out much of their features.

A dark figure stood before the wave of bodies surrounded by the roaring of souls. A hand grabbed your arm and turned you around swiftly.

Kung Lao.

Your heart stopped.

“You have to run, Y/N,” he whispered with such urgency that you swore it was really him. There was no way. It wasn’t possible! Before your eyes, his skin became sallow and sickly, deteriorating and rotting, cracked and filled with green mist. You fought his grip in a panic and pulled back. “Y/N…”

Your feet unstuck from the sand and you gasped, falling backwards. You braced yourself for the fall but instead you were saved by a pair of strong, inky arms. You grasped desperately onto the form and caught your breath. Your lungs ached as though they were being crushed.

The drawing of Kung Lao had caught you.

You buried yourself against the drawing’s chest and sobbed as you caught your breath.

This was not Kung Lao. Your grasp on the drawing tightened.

It was Liu Kang.

Panicked, you dropped the magic and collapsed to your knees out of breath and trembling from head to toe. You were clammy and dripping with sweat. Cursing under your breath you held your head in your hands. That hadn’t been a dream. The other night hadn’t been either. You should have known better. What did it mean? And what were you going to do about it? You had to talk to Raiden. He would know what to do.

This was the last thing that you needed right now.

Stumbling to your feet you made your way back to the garden bench just as the door opened behind you. Resting your elbows on your knees, you fanned your face and tried to will away the nausea left behind by the vision. It was already disappearing from your memory. You’d never been good at interpreting what your visions meant. They’d mostly made you sick.

Liu Kang stopped on the other side of the garden bench and avoided your eyes. “Oh.”

“I can go.” You needed a minute to be steady on your feet, but you’d had your time on the roof with the few stars.

“You don’t have to. I just wanted to see the stars.” He folded his arms over his chest.

“Too much light pollution. You can’t see much.” You pushed your hair away from your face and rested your hands on your knees afterwards. The world was still spinning. Liu was watching you and then sat next to you on the bench.

“Are you okay?” He made to rest a hand on your back but stopped himself.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re gray.”

“I’m tired. That’s all.”

“I haven’t seen you this gray since you first came to the temple, and you had…” He drifted off as if realizing exactly why you were that gray. You wanted to deny it until you could talk to Raiden, but your body betrayed you. You were too tired to fake it. Your fingers were tingling with numbness, and you were nauseous.

“Yeah.” You sighed. “I’m fine.”

“If you had a vision, you would tell me, right?”

“I’m not in the mood for this.”

“Y/N, don’t be unreasonable.”

“Do you have a reason to still be talking to me? Or are you just here to make tonight harder?” You didn’t mean to snap at him and immediately regretted it. You were feeling sick and defensive. Also, you had accidentally made him out of ink for the first time in years and wondered what that meant for your subconscious.

He smiled. You turned away and pouted. “I thought you’d been lying about having a temper to make me feel better.” You puffed up your cheeks in frustration. “I owe you another apology, I think.” He counted on his fingers, and you turned back to watch him. “That’s the third one this week, right?”

“You probably owe me more than one apology at this point.”

“Yeah, but how many times can I apologize before it becomes meaningless?” He was trying to joke with you, and you needed to try and unclench. It was bad timing, all of it. “I am though. Sorry, that is. Not about last night, well maybe about pushing you so hard but… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take any of this out on you.”

“I know.” Perhaps that was part of why it had hurt so badly. None of it had ever felt like your Liu Kang. “I’m sorry too. I handled it poorly.”

“I’ve been told that we’re grieving.” He clasped his hands before him.

“Yeah, that’s what we keep saying.”

“I had an idea.”

“Is this idea going to make us yell at each other? Because if it is then I would very much like the chance to reschedule.”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think it will.” His brow furrowed into a line.

“Well, go for it, I guess. Idea away.”

“I’m grieving in my own way.” He shrugged but he looked weighed down and you felt guilty again. “Not well, obviously. And you’re grieving in your own way too. Also, poorly I might add.”

“I thought you said that you weren’t picking a fight.”

“I’m not.” He reassured you. “I thought that maybe we could try grieving together.” He was staring at you again, and you sighed heavily.

“I don’t know, Liu.” You could think of a dozen reasons why that was a bad idea and wouldn’t work off the top of your head. But it was the first non-confrontational thing he’d done in days. “He was your brother. You lost something like a limb. I love Kung Lao but what we had was different. Our grief is not the same.”

“Your grief is no less significant than mine, Y/N.”

“It is, Liu. You lost more than I did. I know what I lost. But it’s different. You lost so much more.” Your eyes were burning again. God, you were so frustrated with your emotions.

“And now I’m losing you too.” Liu spoke with a bite of frustration and then looked as if it was taking all his focus not to lash out. “I don’t want to lose you, Y/N.”

“I can’t fill the void that Lao left behind.”

“I don’t want you to. I don’t even want you to fill the void that you left behind.” He held his head in his hands. You wanted to say you didn’t do that, he had pushed you away, but you also knew why he’d done it. This was a terrible mixed bag of emotions. If you said that then you would definitely end up fighting again. You held your tongue. “I miss you. I don’t need you to fill a void. I just need you.”

“Liu…” You hesitated and felt the guilt in the pit of your stomach again. But he was asking for something for himself, and you couldn’t tell him no. He never asked for anything for himself. He picked up your hand like it were something delicate and you felt your heart just aching. What would Kung Lao do if he could see you now? In your mind’s eye you could see him resting his hands on your shoulders and telling you it was okay. But that was just what you wanted to see.

“Don’t do that, Y/N.” Liu’s eyes were glassy too and he turned away. “You’re allowed to have feelings.”

“Isn’t this part of why we keep fighting?” You sniffled but didn’t pull your hand away from his. “You keep making assumptions about what I’m feeling. Saying things without thinking first. You have no idea what’s going on in my head, Liu Kang.”

“I’m not trying to start a fight, I promise.” Liu closed his eyes as if to try and recite what he would say so it wouldn’t come out wrong. He used to be so thoughtful. This really was taking a toll on you both. “I just know you well enough, or I think I do, to see that you’re beating yourself up for things that are beyond your control.”

“I…” You hesitated and then pulled your hand back. “Kung Lao…”

“Kung Lao loved you, Y/N.” Liu Kang said with a huff. Did he resent that he had? “He wanted you to be happy. It would crush him to see you now.”

“I know that, Liu. I know and… he would have wanted that for you too. You always put your needs beneath his and he let you without realizing, I think and…” You didn’t mean to say that, and Liu was staring at you in surprise as if he hadn’t realized that he’d been doing that either. When you caught his gaze, he turned to avoid you. You were playing an extremely dangerous game of cat and mouse. “It’s impossible to know what might have been, Liu Kang. To know how it would have turned out. What he would have wanted. No matter how I spin it in my head there is nothing to be done that can change the truth that he’s gone.” You spoke slowly and carefully, not wanting to escalate the sudden tension further if you could help it. It only ended one of two ways and both of those were destructive. “No matter what I tell myself… it doesn’t ease my guilt.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Liu was sounding bitter again and you held your head in your hands once more. You were still nauseous. This was the worst.

“I don’t have it in me to fight with you tonight, Liu,” you whispered. “I just don’t. Give me a day or two and we can be at each other’s throats again.”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Y/N.” He turned to you again. “We need to talk.”

“I know but I’m not sure we can do that without fighting.” You closed your eyes. You sat in uncomfortable silence, a now common occurrence. Your stomach was in knots.

“Are you sick because you had a vision? Or are you sick with grief, Y/N?” His tone was soft as if he were trying to ask a hard question without making it sound like a confrontation. You whined.

“I had a vision, okay?” You confessed. “I don’t know what it means. I need to talk to Raiden. It’s already almost gone. I remember a beach. I remember… being stuck and then I fell and…” The details were like drops of soap in water. Impossible to catch once they’d been mixed in. “I’ll be fine. It had just happened when you got here.”

“Have you eaten?”

“I had dinner with Cole and his family.” You decided to turn the tables on him. “Have you eaten?” He looked affronted.

“I… no… ummm…”

“Pot, kettle, black.” You poked his shoulder, and he smiled a little. “Stop worrying about me. Don’t fixate on it. I’m fine. Raiden will figure it out when we get back.” You reassured him and then sat there together quietly again, unsure what to say. You did know one thing, at least. “You need to eat.”

“I ate earlier, just been since this morning.”

“I stand by what I said.”

“I’ll eat if you come with me.” He suggested. “We can grab a drink in Kung Lao’s honor and reminisce. Try that grieving thing together.”

“That’s a terrible idea.” You laughed as he looked instantly insulted. “Liu, us and liquor? Historically? Not good.” Liquor made the consequences seem less significant. It made you care less about what went wrong. It clearly made him a little bolder, too.

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t think about that.” He smiled a little. “No alcohol then. I just thought that it might make it easier to talk about the things that we are finding difficult to talk about if we had a drink.”

“Well, it would make some things easier but who knows how we’d feel about that tomorrow.” You wished, just for a brief second, that you remembered the night you’d had. You got all the trouble without any of the fun! You were sure that you’d had fun, but you couldn’t remember it, dammit.

“How about it, Y/N? We go downstairs to the bar, grab some food, no alcohol… we just… talk. Grieve.”

You considered it. You weren’t sure how that was going to work. You were in a place where the slightest thing could turn your conversation into an argument at the drop of a hat. But if you could find common ground to stand on then maybe it might make the rest of what you needed to say less painful.

“Okay.” You finally replied and Liu Kang seemed genuinely surprised.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. The truth is, Liu, that I miss you. This has been so incredibly trying and difficult for so many reasons. I swear though, if you make me cry again? I am going to punch you. No more slapping. Big ol’ punch. You will have a black eye to explain.” You didn’t think you’d actually punch him, but the threat was a little funny.

“Honestly, I am impressed that you haven’t yet.” Liu Kang stood and offered you his hand. “I stand by most of what I said though, even if I apologized.” He shrugged and you ran your tongue over your teeth and narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t start, Liu.”

Next Chapter >>

[everlastingdreams]

Weeping Monk x Reader : Playing With Fire     chapter 14

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Story Summary:  The Huntsman, that is what they called your brother. A name he had earned by hunting down the fey for coin. Coin that is given by Father Carden for his services. You refuse to stand aside and watch how your brother hunts down those who are fey. When you start to warn the fey camps your brother wishes to attack, you find yourself behind enemy lines. But when the Weeping Monk becomes suspicious of you, you realise you are playing with fire.

Chapter Summary: The Monk reveals his name to you and the boy. Despite the lack of trust you have towards him, you know you cannot just abandon him in his wounded state after what he did for you and the boy.

Notes: I might try and post chapter 15 as well. Because then I can post the cliffhanger chapters in the weekend haha. It’s hard proofreading with a headache btw. Let me know what you think, please. ^.^

Warnings:  None in this one I think.

Word count: 2463 words in this chapter.

Chapter:  14/ 33+ something (buckle up, it’s a wild ride.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You had rode next to them in silence, the last thing you wanted was to draw the attention from other enemies. And you actually didn't know what to say to the Monk, you had never expected this to happen. The sun had risen when the Monk broke the silence that hanged between the three of you. "What was your name, boy ?" "Squirrel." The boy replied somewhat annoyed by the question. The Monk remembered Wicklow's words, how he had thought of him as an animal instead of a person. This could not be the boy's really name, he had noted the hint of defiance and avoidance in the boy's voice at the question. "A squirrel is an animal. What name were you given ?" The Monk insisted. "I don't like that name." An honest reply from the boy. The Monk sincerely wished to know the name of the brave boy that had risked his life to help him. "It's still your name." He prodded for the answer again. You watched with interest as the Monk tried to convince the boy to tell him his real name, something Squirrel had not even told you. "Fine." The boy relented at the Monk's unyielding inquiry "It's Percival." The Monk was pleased with the small victory and repeated the name “Percival.”

“I like it.” You quickly reassured the boy, but you were left to wonder why the boy didn't like his real name.

Then the boy asked the question not even you had ever dared or thought to ask the Monk “Do you have a real name ?”

Needless to say that it drew your attention. The Monk looked over at you for a moment before putting his attention on the boy again.

“Lancelot.” He sounded like it was something he had wished to say “A long time ago, my name was Lancelot.”

The boy raised a brow and looked at the Monk muttering “That's worse then mine...”

You snorted trying to stop yourself from laughing at hearing the boy's comment.

“Still better then 'Fey Guardian'.” The Monk looked over at you, having heard you trying to muffle your laughter.

You rolled your eyes “That must have been some blows to the head if you think that, Monk.”

The moment you called him 'Monk' again he let out a deep sigh, he did not expect you to become friendly after everything that happened but it showed him that you still did not trust him. To you he was still the Weeping Monk who had made your life miserable.

Percival's eyes darted between Lancelot and you, clearly not aware that you had met each other far more then that time he had captured you both in the forest. The boy's brows drew together and you just shrugged.

Silence fell once more between the three of you.

After an hour or so Lancelot felt his eyes grow heavy, the pull to unconciousness grew stronger and he knew he had to stop before he would fall off the horse and risk pulling the boy with him to the ground. "We'll stop here for a moment." He spoke up, he hoped that walking around would wake him up a bit more. You looked over at him, noticing how pale he was looking now “Alright...”

Quickly you dismounted your horse and walked over to his, there was a silent understanding between you and him when you helped the boy down from the horse, having guessed that it would prove difficult for the Monk to help the boy now.

The moment the boy was safely on the ground he dismounted Goliath as well. He groaned at the pain he felt shooting down his back. He had managed to block a lot of the blows from the flails but some had landed on him anyway. The fresh lashing wounds mixed with the bruises from the blows caused a burning pain spreading all over his back. And the blows to his head had given him a terrible headache. He leaned against a tree as he tied Goliath's reins to a branch, and then he shut his eyes for a moment as a stinging pain went through his head that made him awfully vertiginous.

You and the boy walked around a little, stretching your sleeping legs from riding so long. But you had noticed that the Monk looked anything but fine. He looked like a ghost, a very bloody ghost. You were wary of him, he did threaten to kill you not long ago. And truthfully, seeing him kill those Trinity Guards on his own did not calm your nerves. It was a reminder how easy it would be for him to kill you if he changed his mind. Still, you refused to show that you were in fact afraid of him. You had always kept that hidden, not wanting to show him or the paladins fear. Not wanting to give them the satisfaction of it. You took a deep breath and approached him, the closer you got the more you realised just how bad he looked. He had blocked many blows and as a result blood was staining the fabric on his arms. The blows he took to the head was what worried you the most. The left side of his head was covered in dried blood.

The thumping pain from his head was why he had not noticed that you were standing rather close to him now. You reached a hand to his face and he flinched away before you could touch his face, not expecting the movement.

"Sorry... I just..." You stammered awkwardly "You're still bleeding there. Let me see if I can help."

You never thought you would see this man flinch. Little did you realise that he would sooner expect to be slapped again then his health to be the subject of your concern.

He looked at you, trying to read your expression "I'm fine." Your brows shot up at his blatant lie, and you collected your courage and reached out for his head again. This time he didn't flinch, he just tried to stay out of your reach but failed. "You're burning up..." You concluded after feeling the heat radiating off of his forehead for a second. "I'm fine." He claimed stubbornly, trying to understand why you would even care if he wasn't.

You let out a scoff this time, growing impatient “Your definition of being fine could be anything from 'I just stubbed my toe' to 'I've just lost an arm'. Let me take a look at that gash on your head !"

The moment you reached for his head again he grabbed hold of your wrist, stopping you. You thought he would be annoyed at your attempts but the look in his eyes told a different story. He seemed conflicted, it appeared that he didn't trust you either, but it was as if he wanted to trust you. And you weren't aware that your eyes betrayed that you were dealing with the same conflict.

Finally he let go of your wrist, before calmly replying “I will be fine, y/n.”.

Your eyes went to his arm, the fabric was stained with fresh blood, the gash there was bleeding profusely. “I wouldn't be so sure of that, Monk. You might actually lose an arm by the looks of that.” The concern was audible in your voice.

Lancelot looked at his arm as well now, it did not look good. He was losing blood too fast “I just need to bind the wound...”

He took one step away from the tree to look for something to bind his arm with when the world around him started to spin. He quickly supported himself against the tree, not caring that he had also touched a leaf in the process.

“Monk ?” You grabbed hold of his arm, seeing how he was imbalanced and had gotten even paler.

He could no longer reply, everything sounded so far away. He slumped against the tree and the last thing he heard before everything went dark was your alarmed voice.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You had tried to wake him up by using the water in the flask that you had found in the horse's satchel to no avail. It was midday now and you were on your knees next to the unconcious Monk.

He looked far less intimidating now, you never had a chance to study his face before. At least not without it being awkward to do so. His features were almost angelic to you, even with the bruises. The boy had continued to splash water in the Monk's face, even tried to slap him out of it which you had prevented. You had taken off your scarf and used it to bind the wound on his arm, it seemed that it had stopped the bleeding for the moment.

“Is he going to die ?” The boy looked at you, eyes filled with sorrow.

You swallowed thickly, it was not looking good for the Monk. He was running a fever, you guessed it was from the infected gash on his arm. Or from one of the many other wounds he undoubtly had that you couldn't see without undressing him, which seemed like a terrible idea to you even though he was unconcious. It terrified you.

“No, but if we don't help him soon, he will succumb to the fever.” You replied honestly while taking a look at the wound on the side of the Monk's head. The bleeding there had stopped and after washing some of the dried blood away with the water you concluded that it looked worse then it actually was, making you sigh in relief.

“How ? Who would help him ? He's the Weeping Monk.” The boy brought up an important question.

You owed your life to him and now this man was bleeding to death. You had to have some faith that maybe there was more good in him then he had already shown. Your concious gnawed at you, you knew you had to help him to repay him. You did not like to feel like you owed someone something. The only thing you could think of to help him was taking him to Mirstone and treat him with the medicine the fey had once given you that you kept hidden in your home.

“I will. We need to get him back to my village.” You answered resolutely.

Then the Monk stirred as he let out a deep pained groan, his eyes opened but shut again immediately as they were met with the bright sunlight. You sighed in relief, it would be far easier to get to Mirstone if he was concious “How are you ? Let me guess, you're fine ?” His voice was hoarse and he coughed as he spoke “How long was I unconcious ?”

After taking a deep breath you started “A couple of hours. We've been trying to wake you up, in case you're wondering why you're wet. I took the liberty to bind that gash on your arm, but it will need to be sewn shut and soon for that matter."

He carefully opened his eyes again, turning his head so the sun didn't blind him “You could have left me here to die." You handed him the flask of water and he gratefully took it and gulped some down. His throat felt better already. "Yes. I could have.” You were silent for a second “We need to get you back to Mirstone, I can sew those wounds shut before you bleed to death.”

“Mirstone ? Your village ? No, pardon me, the Huntsman's village ?” The Monk did not like that idea.

You understood his reluctance, but it was the only option. You knew of no other villages nearby and doubted they would be very helpful if there were “The fever alone will kill you, Monk. Besides, my brother will not have returned yet.”

“How can you be sure ?” He looked at you with strange interest.

You smirked at him “I made some adjustments to the maps he took with him. He will be gone for another day.”

The Monk narrowed his eyes at you, now openly admitting just how you had sabotaged the Huntsman.

Finally he gave in, knowing that you were right. He would die either from bloodloss or the fever. He looked up at the sky “It's midday, if we leave now, we should reach Mirstone in the night.”

“And with some luck no one will have heard about what happened to the Trinity Guards yet. They won't bat an eye to see you there. And if anyone asks why the paladins let me go I'll just say that it was an act of...”  You gestured to him.

“Clemency.” He would have rolled his eyes if his head wasn't killing him.

“Exactly. Now, let's see if you can actually walk or not...” You stood up from the ground and held out your hand.

He sighed once deeply before taking your hand with his, it took some effort from you to get him on his feet. Once standing he steadied himself against the tree. "What's that on your neck ?" Percival suddenly asked and you send him an inquisitive look. The Monk's eyes went to your neck at the boy's question and then you remembered. You had forgotten why you had been wearing the scarf in the first place, your hands went to your neck. You had taken it off to bind the Monk's wound, having forgotten about the bruises. You avoided their eyes "Bruises.. I guess the paladins don't like it when you elbow them in the teeth." The Monk knew you were lying, the bruises did not look recent enough to have been obtained at the paladin camp. He had seen similar ones on your arm once but decided not to mention it. There was a reason why you weren't telling the truth.

“Those paladin scum.” The boy cussed, believing the lie.

You had to change the subject “Do you think you can ride your horse without falling off of it ?”

“Yes.” He was but all too aware that you were trying to change the topic.

“Good.” You quickly turned on your heels and headed to the horses.

He turned his attention to the boy “You should ride with her. Just in case.” The boy looked at him with narrow eyes “Fine...You're not just going to ride off are you ?”

The question suprised him, he was until now unaware that the boy felt some form of attachment to him “No. No, I am not.”

Percival stared at him a little longer before he seemed satisfied with the answer, then he and the boy headed to the horses as well.

Taglist:

@itsjustjenna    @ourlazydetectivekitten @the-great-adventures-of-me @linkpk88 @mixedchicaq  @boredoomfm @soccmoss @fxrchxldws  @elenaoftheturks @slytherlight @beananacake​ @tanyaherondale @lancelotapricot​  @captainbucky-yt​  @crystallizedtime​ @thesneakylittleminx

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.