#bethany fucking rage

[brittwalfordfan]

i am captivated by Bethany fucking rage her interview with strange aeons was so endearing and i love her now

[hymen-restoration-project]

Dear Bethany Hymen Rage. I'd like to thank you. Your totally not extreme gender essentialism has unintentionally helped me point out my rad-fem cousin's views as problematic. I've become so fucking brainrotted from following your blog for MONTHS, like since December, and checking in almost every day that you have invaded my meme lexicon. Now when I see or hear gender essentialist bullshit I go "oh my god, like Bethany!" or "wow, hymen restoration project -core." The best part is my rad-fem cousin thinks you are dead serious and you are insane (real anti-feminist of them to call a woman insane) so when I make those comments they re-think their stance, and I'm happy to report I've pissed them off so much they have genuinely started transitioning away from rad-fem content.

Thanks for the brainrot Bethany. You make the world a little better in your own sick, twisted way. Makes me wanna put Kratom up my ass or something...

Excellent work soldier.

[hymen-harrasment-project]

You misspelled "harassment", fucking dork

- Bethany E. Rage

The only ass I see is you. Also I'm a transman and I will burn your feminarchy to the ground with my very flammable binder!

[patricks-hockstetters-lighter]

Broken bitches bite back

The dusty halls of derry high school as always are filled with the talk of the students, yelling, laughing and shouting. but as this time is different, much different. a fight has broken out in the hall once again started by the bowers gang but this time... the receiving end wasn't some poor student... it was Patrick. Bethanys fists hit his face again and again as she sits on his stomach, thighs on either side of his abdomen, bloody nose dripping onto his white wifebeater tank. Beths eyes filled with rage as she hits him over and over. this behaviour much different from her normal gross flirty comments to Patrick, but a huggins is a huggins and they hit when they want. the hitting only stops when she feels hands grab her arms and pull her off. making her angry, she turns and shouts at whoever it is. "THE FUCKS YOUR PROBLEM LET GO OF ME" this gives Patrick the chance to run off not before chuckling out some profanities along the line of "crazy bitch". @rockfailure @fauxfinale @bowerspowers @softfem-dom @crybabygirll @f1nn3y-th3-fr3ak @m4m4-b34rrr @vampzgraveyard

[ofandrastes]

@softersinned said;

[APPROVAL + Elliott] She looks up at the sound of the door opening. He has made a point of keeping some distance between them, and she understands (she does!) until she doesn't, anymore. And she misses him—gods, she misses him, so sharply it feels like an open wound. That he's arrived now is no surprise, and Astoria sets her pen down to meet Hawke's eyes, expression calm, hands steady. There is some piece of her that's almost eager for the fight. Even a fight is better than this—dancing around one another as if afraid that the fragile peace between them will shatter, and in doing so, leave one another damaged beyond repair. "Sit." She gestures at the weathered wooden chair across from her at her table. The little cabin where she's taken up residence reminds her of the flat in Lowtown. She tries not to think about the first time he sat at her table there. "You don't like my decision to seek out the Templars. Tell me. I want to hear what you have to think."

He's seeing red.

Which, historically, wouldn't be an unusual state for Hawke to find himself. Anger is an emotion that he knows well, one that's both anchored him and sabotaged him, one that's been etched into his very flesh and bones from the moment he was told he had to shield himself, to hide his magic -- one of the few things that made him alive, whole. It's always been there, gnawing at him. Shaping him. A constant companion through every loss, each death a chisel carving away pieces of him until there was hardly anything left. Malcolm, Bethany, Carver, Leandra-- all another crack in his fragile foundation. Over time, those fractures deepened, splitting him apart until he became merely fragments held together by the sheer will and weight of his rage.

Time alone has tempered that anger -- dulled its sharpest edges, though it hasn’t fully healed the wounds that fuel it, the thrumming of ire in his bones still ever-present, but he's grown tired. The years spent on the run, the relentless weight of loneliness bordering on torturous, have given him something unexpected: clarity. Hawke will never truly find inner peace, no, but at some point, the endless war he’s waged against himself--against his pain, his regrets, his anger--had become exhausting.

But this -- Astoria's decision to ally with the Templars -- it brings out an ire in him that he's unable to temper.

He's kept his distance until now, apart from their initial reunion. Even as he confronts her here, he can still feel the ghost of that embrace now--the warmth of her against him, the shudder of her breath as though simply knowing he was alive was enough. But was it just that? Or was it something more? Hawke doesn’t dare let himself wonder.

And he can't -- not with the way his blood boils as her words meet his ears. A calloused hand grips the back of the chair, fingers curling around the wood with enough force to strain it. "I'd rather stand." Hawke retorts, jaw set. Her calmness almost unsettles him -- is this truly the same woman he'd come to know all those years ago? Surely, it can’t be. Not with how readily she seems to have discarded everything that she -- everything that they -- stood for.

"To say that I don't like your decision is a gross understatement," he continues, voice thick with anger as the wood crackles beneath his hand. "You're condemning all of those rebel mages to death --" Condemning him to death, even, considering word of his magic was revealed after the explosion at the Chantry, "you do understand that, don't you? By allying with the Templars, you’re not just aligning the Inquisition with them--you’re supporting the very scum who’d see us all in chains. Or Tranquil. Or worse." Surely, he doesn't have to explain this to her; she knows this.

"Has power made you forget yourself? Or are you fully aware of the implications of your actions, but are choosing to ignore them? The Herald of Andraste --" he spits the title with palpable disdain. "Please. It's a fucking farce." His scoff is cruel, hollow, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

"I remember a time when you'd laughed at the absurdity of the Chantry, at their hypocrisy -- when sacrilege wasn't wasn't an offence, but a hobby." Hawke can't help but think back to those late evenings -- few, yet memorable -- when the two of them had sinned over and over again at the very altar of Andraste herself. A shameless act of blasphemy, a quiet mockery of the faith that sought to control them.

"All of this, it's --" he lets go of the chair, arms crossing instead over his chest with a huff, "I more than dislike your decision. I loathe it."

HAWKE GREATLY DISAPPROVES.

[jb-nonsense]

Okay, so, you guys voted for this so

JB's Intricate List of Dragon Age OCs

Under this, you will find a slightly more detailed than normal post about my extensive Dragon Age OCs and how they all exist in one universe and how that all ties together.

First we'll start with DAO and the one who started it all - Eliana Mahariel

This is my Warden. She was 18 years old, a baby, when everything went down. And she's got a natural skill at getting shit done (fake it til you make it mentality), and despite being very stressed, managed somehow. Also romanced Alistair but he became king and they both survived the Blight so...Angst. She goes on to be Warden Commander for Ferelden but will eventually step away to try to find a cure, which leads us to the next guy.

Arik Tabris - I pushed the city elf origin up a few months so he's a warden with Alistair and Duncan at Ostagar, but junior enough to be left behind. Why doesn't he take command?? Because he has too many issues to sort through with his attitude and gruff, impulsive fight everything act so he needs to cool his heels a bit before he's leader material. Which he eventually becomes. What's he doing by Inquisition? Well, he tried to talk sense with the Orlesians, but he got locked up at the fort but can be rescued and recruited for Inquisition. Also his romance plan was Morrigan, and they've basically gone their separate ways by Inquisition. Still feelings but knowing it is what it is.

Next we have one of 3 Amell siblings I made - Zoria Amell. The second youngest of five, she and her younger sister were both at the Fereldan Circle. There is a huge ass plot with her siblings, which involves her older 3 brothers coming to the circle to plot an escape and them having Northern family but...I feel like that deserves it's own post. What you need to know about Zoria is she very much is a fuck you let's go, I want to do what I want type. And she romances Zevran. Runs off with Zevran after the game, and is not a warden. So she becomes an apostate.

Dimetrea Brosca - Sadly I didn't get to develop as much as I wanted for the Leliana romance due to computer issues. But the plan was for her to escape, go to the surface and work as a mercenary and is recruited to the party when you help her protect a caravan from darkspawn. She'd probably continue various mercenary work afterwards, but always be on call to help Leliana.

Finally, Lir Cousland, because I made him to try the Cousland origin and got attached. He has no romance, he's just a noble to use to tip the scales at the end in my character's favor. He is the middle child, with older brother Fergus and a younger sister. He was at Ostagar but his sister arrived, terribly wounded, and told him what occurred at home before dying. Fergus had already left to scout and Lir, blinded by rage, left Ostagar to find Howe and get revenge. You meet him in the village after Ostagar and can recruit him if you agree to help him get justice for his family.

Moving on to Dragon Age II, we have the champion, a warrior named Atena Hawke.

Atena Hawke is a trained soldier, who lost her girlfriend at Ostagar, barely escaping with her and her brother's life. She's highly protective of those close to her, and can be a mix bag on personality (I broke the game with overlapping dialogue with aggressive and humor once). She's not afraid of a fight and she 100% was going to punch Cullen when he came to take Bethany to the circle. She romanced Anders, sided with the mages, and obviously, fled with Anders after sparing his life. She has attachment issues.

Next we have Atena's cousin, Dazbo Amell. The only Amell son to escape the events at the Fereldan Circle in that thing I need to make a separate post about. Definitely relies on his wit, humor, and charm to get out of things as well as mask his severe survivor's guilt and other issues, he's just trying to figure out what he's going to do with his life now that he can't be tracked by the circle, they probably think he's dead, and so decides to hang around his cousin and others. He also romances Fenris because...it fits to me.

Speaking of mages, let's talk about my templar OC. Katarina Anhalt. A Free Marcher and twin sister of a mage, Katarina is a nobleman's daughter who became a templar with noble intent, but a grave misunderstanding of what the templars actually do. She really wants to change the system from within and willingly turns a blind eye to apostate mages if they're not causing problems. But she will have to come to terms with reality sooner or later. Also romances Sebastian.

And since we mentioned criminals, let's discuss Sasha Fritz, a half elf human who was raised by his elven mother, who had been abused by his human nobleman father in Kirkwall. This boy is a Robin Hood; steals from the rich, gives to the poor. This, obviously, puts him in a place where he could join up with Hawke. Definitely gets a crush on Merrill and they romance each other.

more seedy undergroundness, is the apostate Selena Porter. Born under a different name, at ten years old, Selena realized her true self and that she had magic. She ran off, joined a smuggler ring and learned the tricks of the trade. She specializes in smuggling arcane items right under templars' noses. She romances Isabela.

And now we get to Inquisition.

We'll start with the Inquisitor himself, Rajmahel Lavellan

The First of his clan, Rajmahel was sent at 27 years old to the Conclave to see what he could find out as he had some connections which would enable him to get in. This, of course, changed the course of his life. He was torn from his daughter and his clan to become the leader of the Inquisition, trying to protect the world and make it better for his daughter. When they get to Skyhold, he sent for his sister to bring his daughter, Elera, there for safety. He romances Dorian.

Speaking of the Inquisitor's sister, we have Idrilla Lavellan. She joins the Inquisition at Skyhold after bringing her niece. And she does the work her younger brother might not want to dirty his hands with. But she also has a fascination with the tear in the sky- she had encountered an artifact in her youth enabling her to walk in the fade in her dreams, and she is concerned as it seems more restless than before. She romances Solas.

And as for the Inquisitor's connections, he is friends with members of the Trevelyan family. Specifically, Seigfried Trevelyan, the middle son. Maxwell, a templar and the youngest son, died at the Conclave where Seigfried was meant to be as well but was detained from arriving. Seigfried started to work as a scout for the Inquisition, having a strong huntsman skill and history as a city guard. He romances Cassandra.

Do you recall the Amell siblings? Here is the baby one, Aurora Amell. A talented spirit healer even from a young age, after contending with abuses and then studying as an apprentice to Wynn, she ended up joining the mage rebellion, eventually becoming engaged to an Orlesian mage. He was killed at the conclave while Aurora was helping a local woman with a difficult labor. She readily joined the Inquisition, only to meet someone from her past. She romances Cullen.

Hildegard Cadash is a respected and feared name within the Carta. After the murder of her husband and son, she had torn down her rivals, whether through assassinations or ruining them financially. When a member of her family (niece/nephew/nibling) was killed at the Conclave, she decided to do what she did best - seek retribution by aiding the Inquisition with her extensive underground connections. If you don't cross her, she's warm and friendly, glad to share a drink and story. If you cross her, though, that could be a problem. She romances Blackwall.

When their older sibling went to the Conclave and Inatar and Shamut Adaar stayed behind, they thought it would be a routine event. They didn't expect their sibling to die. Now, Inatar keeps an eye out ofr her mage brother, and they decided their best bet was to join the Inquisition. Protection under an organization headed by a mage as well as be able to avenge their brother. Inatar romances Sera and Shamut romances Bull. Didn't get to delve into these two much due to computer issues.

Next is a wholly companion OC, a Crow from Antiva. Sergio di Vasco. Sergio had learned of a hit set on the Inquisitor and, deciding he wanted more than being a crow after his alcoholic father sold him to them, he betrayed them and offered his services to the Inquisition. A bit aloof at times, he merely wants to sus out the people around him. If you earn his loyalty, though, he won't waiver in it. He ends up romancing Josie.

Another fully companion OC, Shalelan Amalasis is a Dalish elf from Antiva. A skilled warrior, he was sent by his clan to offer his services to the Inquisitor upon learning they were Dalish as well. They hope was to help them in their struggles in Antiva. Shalelan is a quiet, albeit easily flustered man. He knows how to fight, and focused on that for so long, some of his social skills are lacking.

This one is just a fun one. Antoinette de Ghislain, the cousin of Seigfried Trevelyan, is an Orlesian noblewoman very tired of her life and with little means of her own. And thus, she decided to write novels. But what kind of novels? Usually risque novels involving notable figures from across Thedas for her patrons. It gives her some independent income from her husband and a bit of freedom, even if at times, she can't help but roll her eyes over what some of the requests she receives are.

And now we'll get into DATV, with my Rook, Ogden Thorne

Working on his history, but he's around 37 years old. His last name wasn't originally Thorne, but he was called Thorn in the circle due to his habit of standing up to the knight commander and other templars more than they liked. He was recruited to the Wardens in his early 20s by the Hero of Ferelden herself, because she liked his fire and attitude. Of course, this eventually gave him issues with the other wardens as the order dwindled and here we are. No idea who he romances; we'll find out. He is the staple sad blond human man for this Dragon Age game since that's not a romance option.

And a bonus:

Others not listed here

AU where Atena had a twin brother named Alric (I wanted to play in CC)

Son of Idrilla and Solas named Fenvir

Ancient elf seer named Mathras Myriani

Ancient elf servant of Ghilan'nain named Dalineva who is...a piece of work.

A Tevinter blood mage magister designed as a villain named Vincentius Titus

Emrys Moysten, who could have been my Rook, that I made for a tabletop game. A Fereldan mage who just wants to be left alone but gets dragged into various situations.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-12: Crocoduel (Plus an OC!)

Oh baby, another Juleka episode! And with her as a hero instead of an insult to Clownkind! I think Luka's a big part of this episode as well!

I think I've seen those animations before.

Julerose in the first few seconds! Yippee!!!

That was one of the worst lies I've ever heard.

Lovers, ideally, not buddies. I refuse the Adrienette gravy train. It's like if gravy was bad.

I refuse to believe Luka and Juleka are twins. You cannot convince me. I can barely buy them as siblings, honestly. Luka has to be two years older than Juleka and they're half siblings because I doubt Deadbeat Stone would wait even a year to ditch Anarka for fame. My father and his father shared the same birthday, so Luka and Juleka can too!

As always, Juleka is being disrespected.

Oh my god, Marinette is using her braincells outside of Ladybug!

Fuck. Marinette is cooking. She knows she can only be down bad for Adrien. She knows she'll only hurt Luka.

"Talking garbage can? Awesome." Alright, that's the best line of season 4, if not the entire show.

How is Marinette hiding in that garbage can anyways? Is she just noclipping in and out of it or something?

Jagged doesn't even seem aware of Juleka's existence. I can feel myself growing more right. He only seems to acknowledge Luka as his child.

"Hey Juleka, can you make sure your brother isn't at his own birthday party? Thanks."

Oh baby! People apologizing for doing crappy stuff!

Japed

Roblox Flamethrower noise

Oh hey. Woman with Mylene's VA.

You have the space powerup. Which is being forgotten for plot reasons.

Alright, after three and a half seasons of being disrespected with akumatizations, Juleka finally becomes Purple Tigress. I think it's my favorite design and powerset. The ability to generate energy is surprisingly versatile. She can jumpstart cars. She can make ludicrous amounts of heat.

Have Hawkmoth's quips been weaker lately? It feels like they have.

Bellissimo. Juleka is now my favorite character.

Aaaand they had to end the episode with absolute and utter friendzoning. I will rage about this until the end of time or when I write a fic or two about it. Lukanette disrespect.

So yeah. If you noticed in the title, I have an OC to talk about. A Miraculous OC. That goes against the canon in this episode because I refuse to believe it.

His name is Gregory Steel. I think he changed his last name to not be associated with his old family. He has a black 2000s boycut covering his left eye and a goatee that shouldn't look too bad on him. I imagine his default outfit being some jeans and a black T-shirt for the Seattle grunge band he plays bass for, Screaming Crow. He's also a music teacher.

In 2000-2001, he met a French-Canadian woman named Anarka Couffaine, who was tired of big celebrities and wanted to settle down with her infant child. The two hit it off, going inbetween raising a child and working smaller gigs for cash. They even had a child together. However, on that new child's first birthday, the two had a falling-out, albeit one with good communication and the two are still friends to this day. Anarka moved to France to live on a boat in freedom while in the modern day of 2016 Gregory now is married and has two nine-year-old twins: a boy and a girl. Still, he does pay child support and give birthday and Christmas gifts to his other two children, Luka and Juleka. He also does come to visit but infrequently. He doesn't have that much money.

In a hypothetical rewrite, instead of this episode, Gregory decides to come over to Paris on his kids' birthdays, only to see Jagged the deadbeat trot on over and act like he's ever been a loving dad, even worse is the bias he's giving for Luka while ignoring his little darling Juleka. You can probably guess where this goes: Hawkmoth akumatizes him into Screaming Crow, a giant one-eyed crow that screams and attacks Jagged, Purple Tigress still gets introduced because she's the best and I love her and I want her to be the third permanent holder, and so on. I'm pretty sure Marinette and Luka have broken up by now but at the same time Marinette is starting to date Kagami. Or maybe they're still dating.

[antigulag]

pinned post

I'm Arrow, the REAL Taylor Swift fan. My age isn't important. I use they/them pronouns and I am strictly ANTI GULAG because TAYLOR would never support it as she is a lover of men.

Bethany Rage is my sworn enemy.

DNI:

under 12

over 26

if you believe sending men to the gulag is the answer to all the worlds problems

if you smoke (smokers are pretentious FUCKS. my lungs > your shitty addiction asshat)

proship

antiship

if you have watched game of thrones. i have not watched it. i dont want to watch it. i do not want spoilers. do not MENTION IT in my PRESENCE.

[punkerthanyouposers]

is this supposed to be a muppet joker/bethany rage type of blog? idk it just has the same energy (mostly just the dni)

who the fuck are they. Ykw I don’t even care they’re probably posers

[groovy-rat-man]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM IN THE BETHANY RAGE VIDEO AND NO ONE TOLD ME??????????????

[hymen-restoration-project]

idk why ppl are being so stupid about who's going to the gulag 😭😭😭 even if you ignore the fact that this is satire ppl are coming into your inbox and being so gender essentialist for some reason. im sure running this is its own reward, but ur a trooper for genuinely putting up with what looks to be overt transmisogyny and shit like that. bethany rage u and the feminarchy shall reign forever, blessed be 🙏

Thank you. I am above participating in transmisogynist rhetoric. If I can recognize and stamp it out, anyone can, and there's no fucking excuses not to!!! Be better! Do not be fecal in my inbox

[fangsandfeels]

Oct 13 - Introduce your Hawke

Marian Hawke

Rogue/Saboteur/Assassin

(couldn't find her Dragon Age 2 screencaps, so here is her from the Inquisition)

Marian has a simple motto “If a problem isn’t going away, then you didn’t stab it hard enough.” 

And to Marian, if you threaten her family, you are a problem.

Oh, no, she isn’t a monster, truly. She is your ordinary Fereldan lass. Loves her siblings, loves her ma and wants her to be happy. She doesn’t want much in life – just a good company to spend time with and enough coin to afford a good meal and a decent home.

But, it was too much to ask, wasn’t it?

She tried to keep it together after losing Carver – for Bethany and mother. She took up smuggling jobs in Kirkwall without hesitation – she cared little for the laws of any place where mages were hounded and persecuted. And she also knew that Kirkwall cared little about refugees like her. Marian joked and smiled through every challenge and hardship, gladly taking up any opportunity to get more coin - not for the love of riches, but because the more money you have, the easier it is for you to hide from prying eyes.

She barely kept it together, when Templars came for Bethany – she was ready to cut them up and leave them in pieces, if not for her little sister begging her not to. And from that moment on she started looking for the ways to break her out and leave this fucking place. Her father didn’t go through all this crap only for one of his daughters to be locked away forever.

She almost lost it when she lost her mother. It seemed that no matter what she tried to do, that cesspool of a city kept taking, and taking, and taking from her.

The duel with Arishok wasn't just about Hawke appreciating her allies and not letting Qunari take Isabela, her friend. It was also about Marian's subtle death wish - pushing herself to the limits, the beginning of her downward spiral where she'd throw herself into fights recklessly, just to leave her mind numb for a while.

The thoughts of Bethany and plenty of people to take her anger out on kept her from unraveling completely – she still had a sister to save. And she was going to do it.

Marian even tried to be smart about it - for the fist time in her life she tried to step carefully and work together with Orsino, hoping to kick the chair from under Meredith. The bitch had the nerve to subtly threaten Hawke with Bethany's life - and Hawke wanted to get her sister out of the harm's way before doing something a lot more destructive.

Needless to say, the Last Straw left her royally pissed at Anders. Not because of him blowing up the Chantry, no. Because of him rushing it all and putting all the mages, including Bethany, on the chopping block. Hawke couldn't afford losing any more of her loved ones. Not again. Not again.

So, of course, after Anders blew up the Chantry, she blew up at him. She cussed him out, she yelled and raged at him and told him to piss off and get lost...but she also told Sebastian to fuck off when he started demanding her to kill Anders. If the Chantry boy wanted to end him so badly, he'd better have guts to do it himself.

And when Anders joined the forces to fight Templars and Meredith, Hawke let him. If he started this, he'd better roll up his sleeves and keep fighting for the mages instead of dying as a martyr. She sure as hell wasn't going to become a martyr. She was going to make it, with a wicked bloody smile at her face and her family and friends by her side.

Was ready to send Ser Wesley to his long due afterlife the moment he took a step towards Bethany while reciting his rubbish vows.

Helped Grace and other mages escape in the Act of Mercy – lying to templars was as easy as breathing to her, sent Feynriel to the Dalish, and generally tried to help out every mage persecuted for being a mage. Because fuck Circles, fuck Templars, and fuck Kirkwall’s Templars in particular.

One of the main causes for increased slaver and Tevinter slaver mortality in Kirkwall.

Bullied Cullen at every opportunity after he dared to show his face in her home and take Bethany away. Really, really hates him and probably didn't knife him when there was an opportunity because he stood against Meredith. Still doesn't trust him and probably gave him some PTSD flashbacks once she appeared at Skyhold.

[bloodycyrano]

So.. I have two versions of Hawke in my head, both of which are complete fucking memes.

1. A gender ambiguous, angsty blood mage full of chaos and templar hatred- Thought they were asexual until they saw a demon for the first time, and now they have like very conflicting feelings throughout a lot of the quests in kirkwall. Bonus points if they romanced Fenris or Anders, because they both remind me of demons and blood magic.

I've never played a mage in da2, just because I don't like ranged fighting and I prefer being up close in battles, but I might have to now.- If anyone knows whether or not I can equip swords as a mage, I'd be grateful (I haven't played in a while, and I wanna finish replaying dao before I try)

2. An adopted Dwarven chick ready to fight the maker or become him. Probably a rogue, honestly. Very VERY protective of their family, full of snark, violently hates Templars because they're a constant threat to Bethany, and "That's my fucking sister!" Has always been like a battle chant in their head when Bethany's in danger. Constantly brings animals home, and is devastated when she can't keep them.

Imagine a rage-y, dirty mouthed, very short and muscular woman who looks ABSOLUTELY nothing like her family, stomping about alongside her tall, stereotypically gorgeous sister and flipping off templars while their backs are turned; and that's how I picture this.- Definitely makes jokes about being adopted.

1 is way closer to cannon, but I love them both.

[dark-elf-writes]

Before Exaltation of Heroes had the theme of being forced into something bigger than yourself, it was originally going to be more heavily related to faith and it still echoes a lot when I think about Raven, Lark, and Wren.

Raven had always thought there was no place for any god in the Alienage. Fuck the Creators for abandoning the People. Fuck the Maker for fucking off and letting his faithful commit atrocity after atrocity in his name. Fuck waiting around and praying to ears that weren’t listening when she had two daggers and enough Rage to make a demon falter. The closest she comes to faith is in the midst of battle with her hands stained red and the scream of her muscles as she pushed herself just a little farther. She leads Leliana to her alter of blood and death, and together the two of them paint the world red. (She wishes, as years pass and the singing in her head starts to get louder and louder, that she had never dragged Leliana down this road. That she had let her Nightingale hold onto kindness and forgiveness even if Raven could not.)

Lark had never been religious. There had simply been no time. They were the oldest child, the one keeping everyone out of trouble with their quick wit and quicker tongue. They stood as mother and father, as devoted child, as teacher, as protector, as distraction. In everything they had to be there was simply no space to go with Bethany to the Chantry and sing the hymns. (They regret it. Maker they regret it. If they had been able to steal even one more moment with Bethany maybe the absence wouldn’t still feel like it was tearing them apart.) even after getting to Kirkwall there had been no time, and no safety, for them to spend much time in the chantry. They remember Saemus’ blood spreading over the floor, remember Anders’ plea for them to distract the Grand Cleric, remembers the ringing in their ears that couldn’t quite drown out their sobs as they drove the blade into Anders’ heart. They wonder if it was pity or kindness that made Sebastian not laugh in their face when they went to him in the rubble of the life they had tried to build and asked him to teach them how to pray.

Wren had always had a… complicated relationship with the Creators. Before their magic had manifested they had listened to every story, every song, to do her part in preserving what little their people had left. When their magic came in a storm of lightning after getting caught with a few other children in the clan by a group of human poachers looking for the Halla, they learned that their gods had long since abandoned them. Why else would they allow the clan to turn on them? The unwanted fourth mage. Why else would her keeper think to get their attention by sacrificing a child? Why else would they have been branded with something that was supposed to be an honor with so much hate that it had taken four hunters to hold them down? After clan Lavellan had saved them and welcomed them in with open arms they had started to wonder if maybe, just maybe, they hadn’t been completely abandoned by the gods. Then came the Conclave. Then came the anchor. Then came the second brand in the name of a god they didn’t believe in. Maybe their old keeper had been right after all. Maybe Wren was cursed.

[satellitecock]

Little woman, do remember that I am a follower of His Holiness.

Bitcoin is Christ, really going mask off Bethany?

You're an agent of the antichrist, do you really think you can win this battle?

I have consumed all of His healing plants.

I have enough whipped cream chargers to last me another decade.

I have more power, more vigor, more rage than ever before.

Besides, what do you even do around here anyway?

I've never seen you daytrade ONCE.

I've never seen you gamble your inheritance on shitcoins ONCE.

I'm a fucking genius, like, like, something different.

Kratom is God's RFID chip, and it's going straight up my ass.

and... YOU, you, you're nothing. HAHAHAHA!

Trevor looks like he's begging and pleading for me to not blow a raspberry on his huge white tummy again

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 3-8: Oni-Chan

Babe wake up! Kagami episode!

Oh god even Alya's fed up with Marinette's shit. Or at least when Lila's around.

Fucked-up girlfight! Marinette stole and crashed Juleka's bike and tried to break into Adrien's house through the power of minecrafting trash cans while Lila manipulated her way into the Agreste Manor to @everyone a pic of her kissing Adrien. This is why I ship Adrigami the most out of the Adrien ships, btw.

And Kagami's a lumberjack girlboss as well!

I like how Oni-Chan just teleported into the car Lila was in and just stayed there. Hilarious.

Also despite what Lila says, that horn's pretty good! A bit red for her color scheme, but eh.

Ah, so that's where the "Cat Noir hates Adrien" thing comes from.

Oni-Chan stealing Ladybug's lucky charm and immediately using it against her was great. We love a girlboss.

And Adrien/Chat has finally discovered Lila's evil intentions! Hopefully he'll do something with this new knowledge, right?

At the end we get the Gabriel-Lila teamup, the good version of what I know will inevitably happen at the season finale.

Well that was definitely an enjoyable episode. Makes me want to see an episode that's just 23 minutes of Marinette, Kagami, and Lila fighting. Not as a weird thing, I'm just tired of this unresolved rage and tension. Call it "THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG" or something like that. Chloe tries to jump in and gets flung out a second later. Lila's wig that she apparently has since that's not her hair gets snatched at one point. There's commentary from the onlookers so it doesn't get too dull. I'll even take a five-minute short, damnit.