#beta troll opinions

[sorrelpaws]

a fully completed troll lineup where all the trolls are fully rendered and drawn all together

[z0mbatz]

WOAHHH NEW Z0MBATZ BETA TROLL HEADCANONS JUST DROPPED WHO CHEERED

plus bonus hcs for their handwriting

[yew-yew]

at first i’m like “woaaah, i love alpha Dave so much”, and then i’m like “WoAHhhh, i love idea of Dave good parent figure(or big bro, idk) for Dirk”, and then i’m like “WOAAAHH, i love ancestors vers of beta trolls so fcking mush”, and here we are, another wierdo au

dave talks about dirk like…a lot.

and, Sollux, i love this man. he stuck with little strider-lalond nerds. o7 for my man

i my opinion he’s fashion diva (change my mind, his vibe is Fashion-Lady Gaga)

i think u’ve already noticed, i really like REALLY TALL ADULT TROLLS, THO-

just imagine how short dave look when stay near sollux. and he 6’3 in my head. (karkat 7’2, sollux 8’0, dirk 5’3(just kiddo😔))

p.s. i can’t take pictures for shit

p.p.s. i have more in my head. 🤨.

[ozuzo]

Ultimate Homestuck ask game! (100 questions)

1. When did you start reading Homestuck?

2. What made you want to check it out?

3. Had you heard about Homestuck prior to reading it?

4. What does Homestuck mean to you?

5. Has Homestuck influenced you in any way?

6. What's your fondest Homestuck memory?

7. Have you meet friends through Homestuck?

8. How long did it take you to read Homestuck? Have you read it in its entirety?

9. Fave character? (overall)

10. Least fave character? (overall)

11. Fave "problematic" character?

12.  Fave beta kid?

13. Fave alpha kid?

14. Fave beta troll?

15. Fave dancestor?

16. Fave ancestor?

17. Fave guardian?

18. Fave carapacian?

19. Fave cherub?

20. Fave sprite?

21. A character you'd be friends with?

22. A character you wouldn't be friends with?

23. Fave quirk?

24. Least fave quirk?

25. Fave pesterlog?

26. Fave flash?

27. Fave song/songs?

28. Fave fan song?

29. Fave Broadway Homestuck song?

30. Fave lyricstuck?

31. Fave Homestuck AU?

32. Are there any non Homestuck songs that make you think about Homestuck?

33. Fave fanfic?

34. Fave Homestuck writer/fan artist?

35. Fave ship? (alternatively: fave ship in each quadrant?)

36. Have you read any fan adventures?

37. Have you watched any Homestuck video essays?

38. Who's your patron troll? And do you identify with them in any way?

39. What characters are most like you?

40. If you do cosplay, which Homestuck characters have you done or would like to do?

41. Prospit or Derse?

42. Meat or Candy?

43.  The Felt or The Midnight Crew?

44. Beta kids or alpha kids?

45. Red team or Blue team?

46. Canon or fanon?

47. What's your classpect?

48. Do you like your god tier or would you modify it to better suit your taste?

49. If you were in Homestuck, what would your color and typing quirk be?

50. Your strife specibus?

51. If you have one, what's your chumhandle?

52. What character interactions would you have liked to see/see more of?

53. Do you have a kidsona or trollsona?

54. Have you ever made fan kids or fan trolls?

55. Do you have any Homestuck OCs?

56. What's THE Homestuck reference for you?

57. Quick! You gotta prototype your kernel sprite, what are you dropping in there?

58. Would you play SBURB?

59. Do you think you'd win SBURB?

60. Have you read The Epilogues?

61. Have you read/are you reading Homestuck^2?

62. Have you played Pesterquest?

63. Have you played Hiveswap?

64. Have you played Friendsim?

65. Have you read the Intermission?

66. Have you read Problem Sleuth?

67. Have you read Jailbreak?

68. Have you read Paradox Space?

69. Have you read any of Hussie's other works?

70. What's an aspect of Homestuck you feel you know more about than the average Homestuck fan?

71. What's an aspect of Homestuck you'd like to know more about?

72. What's something you like about the fandom?

73. What's something you dislike about the fandom?

74.  Would you recommend Homestuck to new readers/friends?

75. Do you have any Homestuck memorabilia/merch? (official or not?)

76. A hot take or hill you'd gladly die on?

77. What are your popular opinions?

78. What are your unpopular opinions?

79. If you could canonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?

80. If you could uncanonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?

81. Are there any panels you particularly remember or enjoy?

82. Is there any character you like aesthetically, but not personality wise?

83. Is there any character who's grown on you over time?

84. Is there a ship you don't particularly like/straight up hate?

85. Do you have any crackships or rare ships?

86. Any headcanons you'd like to share?

87. Do you have any voice claims for the cast?

88. Did you find any part of Homestuck boring?

89. If you're a creative, do you have any Homestuck related projects?

90. Do you celebrate 413?

91. Do you remember the characters' birthdays?

92. What's your favourite art style within Homestuck?

93.  Karkalicious definition?

94.  Has Homestuck influenced what you look for in fiction?

95. What's a non Homestuck thing that you think has strong Homestuck vibes?

96. Others could clock you as Homestuck fan because [blank].

97. You recognise fellow Homestuck fans because [blank].

98. What's your extended zodiac sign?

99. How normal are you about Homestuck?

100. Will Homestuck stay somewhere inside you forever and ever wherever you go?

[relaxxattack]

Jade content?? 👀

obligatory This Is Just My Personal Opinion Warning (i love hiveswap and its writers so much and anyone who gives me any alternian lore) 📢

it’s partially the fact that there is a lot of jade content, but it’s also mostly the fact that i don’t particularly like how hiveswap portrays the jade caste in general. i’ve posted about it before but i don’t personally agree with the idea that jades would be tasked to “take care” of grubs, or that jadebloods such as bronya would be promoted to leaderly positions, when the in-comic lore about that caste dictates that motherly instincts are actually incredibly rare for them, and that trolls who attempt to “take care” of grubs the way bronya was — aka the dolorosa — were kicked out of the caverns.

honestly though this is just my personal opinion, because in-comic they never really go super in depth to what living in the caverns is truly like (because kanaya is unique and weird) (kanaya being unique and weird is also a reason i really think most jades would not be motherly but i digress) but i tend to be of the opinion that the beta trolls are actually strange and outcasts for their society, much like the beta kids.

i also usually tend to be of the opinion that jadebloods need to be much more apathetic than motherly, considering they’re the ones that are committing all of the eugenics, culling the mutants, and putting the babies through the trials so that they can potentially be accepted by their lusii?? again that’s just me though

ALSO. jades are supposed to be rare as fuck and mostly trapped in the caverns? so like it’s crazy that we met not only one Entire cloister in hiveswap act 2, but were apparently going to see more background jades at the mall and stuff? like i get that they probably Snuck Out but like holy shit. thats so fucking many jades we have met SO many jades compared to the other castes when they are supposed to be not only the least populous caste but LOCKED UNDERGROUND…

generally hiveswap tends to go with the notion that all of the beta trolls are fully representative of the roles of their caste rather than the idea that they are funny little weirdos, and i like to take the opposite approach so yeah :]

[nekropsii]

Today's Hot Take: Calling the Alpha Trolls "The Dancestors" is fundamentally the same thing as calling Wayward Vagabond "The Mayor".

You are theoretically referring to the same characters, except you really aren't, actually. It signals to people that actually really care about those characters that you're operating under a heavily lacking understanding of them, which is most likely deeply entrenched in fanon, or otherwise informed by a very skewed, tainted lens- such as getting all your opinions uncritically from other people, or judging the worth of characters by their proximity to the Beta Kids, Beta Trolls, and Alpha Kids. It's a red flag.

Also, almost every main character in Homestuck is someone's Dancestor, that's the fucking point of the term. The Beta Trolls are the Dancestors of the Alpha Trolls. The Kids are each other's Dancestors. It's one of the most clearly defined things in the comic- it just means "Someone who is simultaneously your Descendant and Ancestor by means of a Scratch". Dirk is Dave's Dancestor and vice versa. Kanaya is Porrim's Dancestor and vice versa. This is not difficult to understand, the exact definition is explained in the Openbound... Which is why I'll take everyone who calls the Alpha Trolls "The Dancestors" as people who haven't actually read the damn Openbounds and am henceforth discounting their opinion.

[avocadish0w0]

Funny thing I realized yesterday

The Watchers, by practically the whole fandom, are portrayed to be heartless, cold, cryptic celestial beings that forced Grian to become a watcher and never cared about anyone since the Evo server

But

Let's take in consideration, two things

Grian joined Hermitcraft S6 during the last episodes of EvoSMP (his first HC video released 4 days after ep49 of Evo in 19th of July 2018)

The last episode of Evo in Grian's channel (from where I watched) has a segment to a conversation between two watchers that later turn into three

Taking these two, let's start my point

(Also take in consideration that this is my opinion and what I realized and found it funny, I understand the difference between canon and fanon for the watchers)

(CAUTION! THE FOLLOWING TEXT HAS MAJOR SPOILERS FROM EVOSMP FINALE, PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK)

===============================

The Watchers aren't what they tell you about.

The motion pictures, the paintings, the stories, they're all wrong. (/Jk)

Let's analyse the end screen of Grian's finale on EvoSMP (Ep51 - minute 17:32)

↓↓↓

The scene starts with the text from Watcher 1 (all will be color coded in the way they are in the video for better understanding). The greetings. It's informal, friendly even, they were waiting to speak to the Evolutionists

They follow with Watcher 2 talking about being watching them from the start. Since Beta 1.2

Saying they watched their struggles with crafting, but most importantly (as described) they watched them have fun.

They reminisce the series, the rise of the Grian Empire, the fall of Dirt cheap and everything else along the 11 months of the series

Watcher 1 mentions squiddy from back early in Grian's series, how it was burnt down and rebuilt in Zee's baze, how the squid was great fun for the server. They also mention how much of a day it was when Taurtis joined the server and when he decided to leave.

Getting sidetracked there... Good times had to come to an end, and they needed to deliver two news

The good

And the bad

Followed by a funny and heartwarming scene of Watcher 2 not wanting to, and wanting to keep remembering good times.

Followed by remembering the war between the Property Police and the Mafia

And many more memories (this will get too long if I keep talking about it...)

--------------------------------------------------

The Watchers also talk about a someone who pranked the server a lot, and got in trouble with them a few times...

Someone who took rewards meant to be shared...

Blocks from their temples!

But they got them back, putting obsidian on top of his chests.

"That Grian sure was a nuisance..."

A quote from Watcher 2, followed by a memory

"But he did create an entire town and help bring people together."

They talked about how he trolled Jimmy countless times...

But that's another story.

I keep getting sidetracked!

===============================

Now, they all killed the Ender Dragon

One each.

The portal they jumped through was not the one the Watchers create to jump between versions

That portal was fundamental for a great change in the Evo server

The first time they were able to speak to the Watchers without riddles, songs and rhymes, the small gap where worlds collide.

The news are given...

When the Evolutionists return, nothing will be the same, and they'll have to find a new way to survive.

But they'll also have to follow with one less of them

"Ten will become nine"

Progress would have be made without the empire...

Grian has to be taken.

It wasn't an easy decision, they had their reasons...

And they hope someday you'll understand them...

One person does not make a server, and as much excited as they were to see the rejuvenation of the server, they would also miss Grian and his antics, this is said through this conversation (21:24)

~

Watcher 1: Yes, perhaps they will. But one person does not make a server. I, for one, am excited to watch what this rejuvenation will bring!

Watcher 2: As am I, friend. But I will miss Grian on the server.

Watcher 1: We all will, not least, the Evolutionists themselves.

~

But he never really left, he would always be watching over them, he'd have joined the Watchers

The best of wishes we're sent to those who'd continue the legacy, and a new text is presented

Watcher 3

The watchers welcome him as a friend, asking him to send his last message to his old friends

The words were:

~

Watcher 3: It would be my pleasure. Good luck everyone, I am sad that this is my fate... But I want you to remember my heart will be with you all, and I will still be on the server in your hearts and in spirit...

Good luck in the next chapter of Minecraft Evolution. I look forward to watching you all.

~

And with that, goodbyes were sealed, the screen fades black and the episode ends.

Now, I know it's sad he had to leave, but it wasn't fighting, he accepted his fate and peacefully went.

I, for one, don't think the Watchers are the heartless monsters you tell them to be, cryptic celestial beings, yes, but not monsters

They did justice for those who deserved it.

Grian took more than what was given, and for that he was punished.

Zee got rewarded with treasure for being the one who took little to none.

They took down when Martyn decided to become the mayor himself after Taurtis left.

It was never unfair.

I think that's mostly it for what I wanted to say, it's unjust to u- them to be portrayed as something they're not

If you read it this far, thank you for your attention, goodbye.

And remember...

We're always watching...

=======================

"So, is it good enough?"

"You almost gave it out in the end, Lux!"

"I know! I know! I tried to make it as less sounding like an excuse for us as possible! Don't blame me! It's hard to speak about us in third person!"

"Forget it, c'mon, let's go now- is it still recording?"

"Oh... Oops...?"

*Footsteps rushing in the distance*

"ILLUXXENTT!! YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT!!"

-end of recording-

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

36: Alright, Dude. What. The Flip.

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

When Gaster appeared in your dreams like this, he wasn’t exactly expecting a warm welcome or anything like that. Maybe a scream or a jump, something to spook you a lil’ as a little late-night trolling.

What Gaster wasn’t expecting was for you to immediately shout profanities at him.

He stands there awkwardly like the man-standing emoji.

🧍

All he can do is wait and twiddle his thumbs as you call him a beta bitch for the 17th time in 39 seconds. He almost wants to cry; why are you yelling at him? Is this really Sans’ type? Is this what the kids are into these days?

You stop pacing around in the endless void that is your subconsciousness. Putting your hands on your sassy hips, you look at him with an irritated and expectant look.

“Well?” You huff, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“…Are you done?” He asks.

You noticed that as he was talking, his hands (God, it’s so freaky. He does not have arms and his hands are not attached to his body. Seeing them with holes in the palms in person is a lot scarier than you thought it would be.) twitched upward, almost like he wanted to talk with them. You can somehow understand him now, but maybe he would feel better with some help?

Bringing your dominant hand up in a fist, you move it up and down in a nodding motion. “…Yes.”

“Thank you.”

He moves his left hand up to his mouth, palm facing his chin, then brings his hand outwards. The motion can be similar to blowing a kiss, but you know it’s sign for what he just said.

Looks like Gaster would much rather prefer speaking in Sign Language. That’s fine with you, you don’t mind having to do so for his comfort. It works out for you, too. Just because you can understand him now, that doesn’t get rid of this strange gibberish sound that seems to follow closely after his words.

Gaster continues to talk, and at the same time, he keeps using sign. “You should already know who I am.”

You snort, doing the same, “Yeah, that’s why I asked why are you here, not who you are.”

“…Oh.”

Nuh, God. This guy is so much like his son. A fucking dork.

Gaster is… not what you were expecting. His body is tall, probably over 7 feet tall. He’s almost lanky in stature, hunching over but you don’t think that’s of his own will. There are parts of him that are smokey and wispy, almost as if he’s incomplete (which you suppose he is…).

[ Despite being a tall bitch yourself, this guy still managed to be taller than you. / You’re considered to be average in height, so this man easily has height over you. / You’re already struggling in life being short, so imagine your horror when this monster is practically a fucking mountain compared to you. ]

His skull is not skeletal but the visual texture is similar to Sans’ and Papyrus’. Aka: bony as fuck. His right socket is normal and wide naturally, while his left eye is droopy in a forced-shut kind of way. The crack that starts on the tip of his head leading to his left socket is what forces it to be half-lidded.

His smile–his beautiful, baby boy smile–freaks you out the most.

He doesn’t have lips, no. But yet you can’t see the joints of his jaw the way you can with Sans and Papyrus. It’s almost like lips, but you know it’s not supposed to be.

Perks of being a monster, you suppose.

His drip is fucking immaculate though. A pearl-white turtle neck shirt that’s thick and hides his entire neck. Over that is a large black coat that closes low on his chest, dragging down to the floor hiding his legs and feet.

On top of all that, his voice is deep and silky. His tone is even and calming like he has it all figured out and everything will be okay.

Solid 8/10 in your opinion. You can see where Sans and Papyrus get their good looks from considering Gaster made them.

“Before we go any further,” Gaster clears his throat, “can you understand me just fine?”

“Oh, yeah,” You tilt your head, “How–How are you doing that?”

“I’ll answer your question another day when you are not about to shout profanities at me for the most minor of inconveniences.” He says with amusement.

…Okay, fine. You guess that’s fair considering what happened not even two minutes ago.

“Yes, I can understand you even though you’re speaking in Wing Dings. Using ASL is helping a lot, though.”

He chuckles at this, “How did you know to use sign language, if I may ask?”

You scrunch up your nose, “I remember the River Person mentioning a man who speaks in hands. Honestly, it was just a shot in the dark if sign language is what they meant.”

“Ah, I see. That’s right, isn’t it? You are aware this is a game,” Gaster smiles ominously. “That Undertale is a game.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Yeah, but…” You frown comically, “I’d rather not think too hard about it if that’s okay. Or what it means for me. Or what it means if it is a game, how I can possibly be here in the first place. Or what it means that this is all a game, how can I possibly be in different Au’s-”

“-Sorry, sorry. No need to spiral so casually. Let’s move on from that topic,” Gaster clears his throat again. You wonder if speaking might be too much for him. “That aside, how are you, [Y/n]? I know this must have been a long, tiring day for you.”

“Uh, yeahhh. I can’t lie, it’s been hella overwhelming.” You want to rub your cheek, but stop yourself since you are still signing as you speak, “I’m trying to push it down the best I can and not make a big deal out of it. I mean, I literally fucking jumped into an Au! How am I expected to just keep calm and act like this is nothing?!”

You continue your ranting, your hand movements getting messy as you begin to pace, “Oh, but I gotta keep my shit together whether I like it or not! One moment of complacency, and this Swap-Papyrus is gonna Divine Skeleton Death Blast us to next Friday! For some fucking reason, everyone’s got beef with poor baby Sans! I already gotta be this picture-perfect version of myself, that is sooo tiring, you know?!”

Gaster, that beta cuck, starts to laugh at you!

Another hand is summoned by him, identical to the other two he already had out. The hand is used to poorly cover his mouth to muffle his laughter. He’s not even trying, but you guess it’s just for show to appear polite.

Yeah, you’ll take it.

“It can be rather bothersome at first, yes. Though, you will soon get used to it, and possibly tired with it, too.”

You want to cross your arms. You already know that you cannot.

You even out your voice so you don't sound irritated, “It’s great to officially meet you, really. But I have to ask again, why are you here?”

Another hand appears; now a pair of hands are used to sign, and the other pair is used to straighten out his coat.

“Do you mean as of right now, or is the question deeper than that?”

“You know I mean more than just right now.”

The skeleton sighs, “I’ll be happy to explain it another time, but now is not it.” Before you can ask why, Gaster speaks again, “You will wake up from this extremely tired because of our conversation. Your body is asleep, but your mind is not. The longer you’re awake in this way, the less rest you’re actually getting.”

UGHHH! FINEEE!

“Okay, okay.” You sulk your shoulders dramatically. “I know how to be patient.”

“Do you really?”

“…”

Gaster chuckles, “My apologies.”

“…You’re not sorry.”

“I am not.”

Fucker.

“Okay, okay. Let’s focus,” You wave your hands then remember immediately you’re not supposed to do that. Damn, you need to get used to speaking ASL as you talk. “Is there a reason why you showed up now of all times? Please just tell me.”

“You’re quite straightforward. I like that.”

Slay.

“If it’s all the same to you,” Gaster begins to explain, “I’d rather not give you the answer right away. If I wanted this journey to be simple for you and Sans, then it would’ve been simple from the start.”

You deadpan.

“Don’t you youngsters enjoy adventure?” He asks genuinely.

You drawl out your words, “I meannn, I guuuess. But if the moral of the story really is “friendship was the answer all along…”

You trail off, and for good reason. Despite his simple face, Gaster looks rather sheepish and nervous.

“No…” You slowly shake your head, “Ain’t no fucking way…

“Do you remember how you told Sans earlier that you believe being honest with that version of Papyrus had worked out better for you?”

Bro.

“Dude, no way. So you’re saying we actually need to befriend these people?” You narrow your eyes, hand movements getting, admittedly, lazy, “I knew I was having a weird feeling about that the whole time! That was you, wasn’t it? That feeling was intentional.”

Gaster’s extra hands begin to rub each other out of nervousness. “I want Sans to make friends…”

…

Dude…

You’re so fucking done. This guy is a fucking dork-enormous.

You guess it’s cute that even in these circumstances, Gaster is like an anxious dad wanting to make sure his emo son isn’t emo for life. You’re guessing that it’s not actually necessary. Rather, Gaster will offer more help once you meet these “requirements”, similar to how he made the DJ work only until after you were honest with Sans.

Gaster continues when your defeated expression doesn’t change. “That is not all, of course. Please, allow me to explain some more to give you more background.”

You sigh and gesture for him to keep talking.

Clearing his throat, he asks, “How much… In regards to my past and how I became this way, how much do you know?”

“Ehhh…” You twist your face trying to think, “I know more than the average person, I think. You created the Core, and… the DT Extractor?”

The corner of his mouth twitches upwards, “Yes, that’s correct. Is there anything else you know?”

“You… “fell into your creation.” You put a hand to your chin, “According to Sans, you also created him and Papyrus. I know that you’re–were the Royal Scientist, too.”

“Yes, you are correct.” Gaster sighs heavily, body language and tone becoming exhausted, “When I created the Core, I made it with more than one purpose in mind. The first and main reason behind it being to provide magical electricity to the entire Underground.”

“It does more than that, of course. Because of the ozone being a byproduct of electrical power–Well, you’ve seen it before, right? That wolf who throws ice into the water–the ice reaches the Core to cool it off. Since the ice melts once it gets close to the Core, the ozone fuses with it and it becomes a source of ozonated water. This spreads throughout the Underground, infused with its natural magic. Because of that, it can clean clothes, sanitize food, and purify drinking water. Really, the Core is almost perfect.”

Gaster stops talking abruptly, looking at you with an almost embarrassed smile. You were patiently listening to him ramble on, nodding along with interest. He realizes that you probably barely understood anything he just said. (You didn’t understand shit, but it was endearing to listen to him regardless.)

“A-Anyway,” Gaster coughs weakly, “I thought at the time if I could extract raw power from the Core, perhaps with that power I can begin a new experiment that would allow me to research ways to naturally break the barrier without human souls.”

“I did not get very far, as you are aware of. I made a miscalculation and fell in. I could explain to you why it happened the way it did, but to be frank I am not patient enough to explain it in a way you’ll be able to easily understand. Just know that it resulted in my body being torn apart and destroyed on the spot. My soul was all that was left, yet that too was scattered across space and time.”

You don’t really know what to say to that. What can you possibly say? What words could you possibly give that would give any sort of comfort to someone as tragic as him?

“I…” You gnaw at your bottom lip, signing meekly, “I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s not my fault, I know I don’t need to apologize. But–you know what I mean.”

Fucking nailed that shit (you’re going to die of embarrassment).

Gaster smiles appreciatively and with amusement.

“For now,” He goes on to say, “all you need to know is that, yes, I waited for you to tell Sans about your knowledge of myself, and your knowledge of the Resets and Saves and whatnot. I waited only until then to turn on that machine myself. I believe you and Sans are calling it the DJ?”

You grin, “Great naming, right?”

“Indeed it is. Though if I may be honest, Sans is very much capable of doing all of this on his own. He doesn’t necessarily need your help in going to the different Alternative Universes and timelines.” Gaster shakes his head, “But I quite enjoy that you’ve made friends with him, and you’ve lifted his spirits a lot. I know Sans, and I know his way of thinking. If I made it so that you are “necessary” to be involved, Sans would believe it is intentional and allow it to happen.”

Ah, you think you get it now. Gaster used Sans’ belief that nothing (especially things involving Gaster) is a coincidence to make sure that Sans would keep you around for this adventure Gaster is putting you through. You think it’s really sweet, in a way. That even though you’re here to do something for the scientist, it’s ultimately for the betterment of his son as well.

…You wonder if you should mention to him that you’re… super friendly with Sans. Now probably isn’t the best time…

“You know, you weren’t far off the mark with that. Sans already thinks that you’re doing all this in this specific way on purpose,” You tell the monster, “It’s nice you’re looking out for him still.”

“And that is why I would ask you to keep this part a secret. If he knew that he doesn’t need to bring you along for future outings, I fear he would leave you behind.”

You nod, “I’m not a fan of lying, but… I guess I can make an exception for this. And… Yeah, okay. Despite all my bitching from earlier, I do like the adventure.”

Internally, Gaster is fucking stoked. So he was right! The youth does yearn for adventuring! That means he’s totally still hip with the kids!

“So, back on track!” Gaster claps his extra hands together, “I have been scattered across space and time, including the Alternative Universes and timelines. The original piece of me is still in our original universe, of course. But aside from that, the largest scattered piece of me is right here in… What did you call it before? Underswap?”

“Ahhh!” You nod eagerly in realization, “So that’s why you wanted us to come here first!”

“Yes, exactly!”

“And, that also means there are definitely other Au’s after this one that you want us to visit for the same reason! We’re finding these pieces of you and we’re putting you back together?”

Look at you, you smart fucking cookie!

“Right, again. What you did today, the way you will eventually find this piece of me, this is what you will need to do as well in the other Alternate Universes.”

Gaster uses one free hand to rub his chin in thought, the other hanging in the air, “Admittedly, the location of each piece will be different each time. Moreover, the effect of my fragments will have different effects as well. This one just so happened to cause a disturbance in the magic that affects the monster's emotional and cognitive health. Unfortunately, this is something I genuinely have no control over.”

You cross your arms and look down, “How do we even find your fragment? I mean, what does it even look like?”

“All of my fragments will look vaguely soul-like. I believe you will know what it is once you find it. As to where and how to find it exactly, not even I am 100% certain.” Gaster grins teasingly, “Well, no. That is a lie. But I’m confident you will be able to find it yourselves.”

You deadpan. Again.

This motherfucker.

Are you supposed to love or hate this guy? Or both?

“Now that you’re informed of all this, I will allow Sans’ device to work again. I believe that will also be what helps locate my fragment.”

“Wai-wai-wait. You made it stop working on purpose… just because you wanted to prolong our stay… just so you could talk to me tonight and tell me all of this? Just so I can make sure Sans makes friends before we finish the job?”

“Yes.”

…

DUDE.

You don’t even know what to say. What do you even say to that? How should you feel about this shit?

You groan and hide your face in your hands, “Why can’t bitches just tell me the answer? Why do people gotta make things harder and make us solve puzzles and shit?”

Gaster hides his mouth behind his hand, hunching his shoulders in a silent, mocking laugh.

Brother really said teehee.

Is this where Papyrus got his love for japes and puzzles and crap? Both he and Sans are rather cheeky, too. Motherfucker really is their dad.

You roll your eyes. You realized just now that you stopped using sign language a while ago. You feel guilty and hastily move your hands again before asking your next question.

“You know I have to tell Sans all of this–most of this when I wake up, right?” You frown, “I did promise him that I would whenever you are involved.”

“Yes, I know. I did this with that in mind, after all.” Gaster then smirks smugly. Somehow. “Tell Sans I said hello, yes? And congratulations on the relationship.”

“…”

“…”

“…Okay, I will.” You say casually, “Wait! Wh-What about the Swaps? I mean, if they know why we’re here and how we got here… Sans was saying how they might make him fix their machine, too.”

“I don’t think so,” He says quickly and confidently, “Once the Swap-Papyrus realizes exactly what is going on, I have a strong suspicion that he will most likely be eager to have you leave as soon as possible. In terms of the timeline, this is way before your swap version would “canonically” show up. During this time, if we were to mirror our Sans, this Swap-Papyrus will be too nihilistic and pessimistic to want anything to do with these things.”

Gawdamn, bro is roasting Sans and Swap-Papyrus in one go. This Sans slander must be stopped.

“Oh? So, there is time travel technically involved in all this?” You ask worriedly. “Is-Is that safe?”

“…”

“…”

“???”

“Ehh, you worry too much.”

You’re going to cry. This is karma for cussing him out, isn’t it?

“If I am being honest with you, it is not wise. But, it certainly won’t be harmful to you,” Gaster waves a dismissive hand, carrying the attitude of a confident scientist who isn’t aware his hubris will be the death of him. “Unless I suddenly and explicitly tell you otherwise, you shouldn’t worry.”

Wait a damn fucking minute!

“Don’t–Wait!” You frantically wave your hands, “Doesn’t this mean we might possibly visit an Au where I’m already there?!”

Gaster fucking giggles at you! He fucking giggles! What the fuck!!

“Until next time, [Y/n].”

Then there is nothing.

…

…

…

There is nothing until you wake up in total exhaustion.

You are immediately aware of what you were dreaming about, and remember the conversation you had with clear memory.

Sans is still sleeping on you comfortably, but you are now awake filled with annoyance.

A quiet “Motherfucker…” tumbles out of your sleepy lips.

Why is everyone in the skeleton family such a tease… 

Tags:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fetusbaconegg

@fluffyart5000

[propheticclown]

HOMESTUCK CHARACTERS AS D&D CLASSES

I've wanted to do something like this for a while. Please let me know if you agree with my takes, and if you think differently, let me know! I love discussion! This is only going to cover the human characters for now. Let me know if you want to me to do the trolls too! BETA KIDS

John Egbert: I feel like John, as a Heir of Breath would be a Sorcerer with the Storm Sorcery bloodline.

Rose Lalonde: Rose, in my opinion, would be a Wizard. A Divination Wizard to exact, maybe Necromancer when she goes Grimdark.

Dave Strider: Dave would most likely be an Echo Knight Fighter. That was really the best thing I could find for a Knight of Time like Dave.

Jade Harley: Jade is kind of a weird case, despite being a Witch of Space, I don't think she'd be a Wizard. I think the best-suited class for her would be a Sorcerer with Lunar Sorcery. ALPHA KIDS

Jane Crocker: Jane is undeniably a Life Cleric. I feel like that just perfectly fits.

Jake English: Jake, as a Page of Hope, fits an Oath of Ancients Paladin the best.

Roxy Lalonde: Now Roxy actually took me a while to try and figure out. It was in between Wizard and Rogue, but in the end, Rogue won out. Specifically speaking, I believe Roxy would be an Arcane Trickster, however, if you think Roxy would be a Wizard, she'd most likely be the Illusionist subclass.

Dirk Strider: Like with Roxy, Dirk took me a while. Even now, I'm not entirely sure if my take is the best for Dirk. But I think an Oath of Vengeance Paladin would suit him quite well. Other classes I considered were College of Blades Bard and Phantom Rogue. Thank you for reading, once again, if you'd like me to do the trolls, let me know!

[cgtg]

Do you have an opinion on all the beta trolls? Or dancestorssss

hmm, i havent gotten 2 the dancestors yet on my reread (srry 2 da other person that asked abt them, i was saving the ask til i got there but ive been slow reading lately...)

this is probably all stuff other ppl have said before but its my opinion & im just living my reality here ok

thank u for asking :J

i think the dancestors r a perfect example of how hussie's character-creating method of "lampoon on an annoying/weird internet archetype" can fall completely flat. i really do not like any of them, and the ones i don't actively dislike i feel nothing about.

i think part of its jusdt that i always got the sense that hussie also did'nt give a shit about any of them beyond making the jokes he wanted to make (aside from meenah and aranea, who i also just really didnt care about anyways haha). pretty much every homestuck character is about making a joke, but the best characters all get the breathing room to develop *actual* personalities and value beyond watever theyre icons of yk?

so incidentally the worst of the beta trolls tend to be the ones where hussie just didnt, for watevr reason they had, explore them in a meaningful or earnest way.

its fine to have charzcters that are just made to do a bit, & its beyond fine that not every character is as fleshed out as the others, i think that woul;dve officially caused hussie 2 go off da deep end. hahah. but yeah i just couldnt get myself 2 give a shit about them if i tried at all. & im not even getting into the shit they're actually harping on & how that affects my view of them (read: badly)

these opinions will prbly change/develop whenever i get to that point in the story again, but i rly doubt ill feel more than "nothing" abt any of those dancestors

[davekat-sucks]

I just saw Anonstuck's rules on Twitter

man this shit is so ass

They delate All the tierlist, the classpect, the debates, everything, for this point no one uploaded anything because there is simply nothing to say here!

I understand, that they don't want to do NSFW and make a safe Space for everyone or similar but...Can't they just start filtering things instead of prohibiting everything? Honestly to say my opinions and other things I prefer your blog because otherwise no one can say anything

I actually think that if Calliope had been an antagonist she would have a theme similar to this, very good intentions but that are very badly posed and prevent the "bad" side from going out, bad in quotes because in reality the "bad" part is actually only the things that she would not like, positive toxicity of the fandom

What Calliope assume is bad might have been good in other people's eyes (specifically the Homestuck cast like the Beta/Alpha Kids and trolls), but she chooses to ignore or dismiss, assuming that their way of thinking was corrupted somehow and she has to fix it to save them from turning bad. I wouldn't be surprised if Act 6 had really been just about critiquing about the fandom. Both good and bad. Tumblr and 4chan. Andrew Hussie likely wanted to vent out how he felt the success from both parities. Mostly negative since he felt overwhelmed by the comic's success and the fandom that came with it. He probably wanted to strike some middle ground or a third option that let's him do whatever he likes. Something like that can even extended to not Homestuck, but other works of media that would have different cliques clashing one another. But sadly, pleasing Tumblr side won a bit more in the end since most of the people he hired for WhatPumpkin, mostly are from there. But that's my assumption if I were to give Hussie some benefit of the doubt. I still pity the guy.

[lolliepops-rox]

It's very interesting to me, as a newer Homestuck fan, to see all the extensions for the offical-unoffical archives that 'fix'/remove 'problems' or 'problematic' parts of Homestuck. I was on Tumblr when Homestuck was at its peak and reblogged all the cute ship art, follow the outrageous ask blogs, my best friend did read it as it was still coming out¹. But I never actually read the comic itself, just kind waves from the sidelines. But I wasn't there to experience the big controversies in real time (i.e. 'peachy'). Hussie is not above critique, but I don't think he's a bigot or even a bad person. What he is, is a troll. A classic 2006 'I said something fucked up not because I believed it, but to get a reaction.' Which, I can see to someone who missed that time of the internet, and only knows now. In which people say those fucked up things, to get a reaction and cause they believe it.

And so to see people younger than me, but have joined the fandom at the same time as me, not understand this context, it feels wrong. The things people are willing to sweep under the rug cause it conflicts with their morals vs the things they condemn and blame Hussie for.

Homestuck is a very long, very complicated, but very important piece of art. To not consider every facet of it does it a disservice.

For something made by a 2006 troll, it put a lot of queer characters worth caring about in it. The alpha kids & trolls both exist to be parodies of their beta counterparts. This is partly why Dirk is queer, and that Dirk refuses a label. But is still allowed to opening like, then date, then break up with a boy. It's a response to how the fandom wrote & treated Dave. For those who know it, compare the S19Ep6 of South Park, Tweek X Craig. Matt & Trey, who in my opinion embody the same sort of troll sense of humour Hussie has, handle fandom making their characters being gay quite differently. Tweek & Craig in this EP aren't treated as genuinely queer characters, but the kids trapped in what the town has decided are wacky hijinks of this week. It's not necessarily bad, but compared to Dirk it feels way less genuine.

There's topics I can't talk on fully like the way Hussie's racial biases appear in various characters, as I'm from a completely different country. But in my very non-american opinion, it reads more as 'someone who has never thought to question the stereotypes they were raised with', than as someone who is genuinely and actively racist. There is a difference, and as a mixed kid that's important to me.

I'm not really sure how physically disabled people feel about the way Hussie wrote their physically disabled characters (but if people have written about this I'd love to read and linked to me) but he definitely uses mental disabilities/illnesses as a substitute for the word 'quirky' without thinking much about it (i.e. Nepeta is off-handedly called autistic) it's not really great, but the bar is so low when it comes to these things that my tourettic ass cling to Mituna like a lifeline.

Maybe I had a further point here. Maybe my point was just antis in the Homestuck fandom is still weird to me when there's canon incest. Maybe I've drunk a fair bit of vodka while writing this. I have work in the morning. Good night beloved tumblrinas.

¹she gave me classpect and everything, and it's the one I use to this day, despite having a completely different theory on how classpects work. I also joined a cosplay ask blog despite never reading Homestuck (at the time) cos she asked me to (simp) and bought black lipstick to do AMom.

[shippingforpros-homestuckedition]

hii!! may i ask what are ur fav incestous ship(s)? :33 im sorry if this has been asked before!

If we consider every troll x troll ship as incestuous - which they are - my favourite are simply:

Solkat

Vriskan

Porkri

But I know most fans don't think about that when speaking about incestuous ships in homestuck.

More "explicit" shipcests I love are:

BETA OT4 (it should be canon!) and every variation (Prospitcest, Dersecest, but even SpaceTime, Pepsicola and Guns & Roses).

Lalondecest, especially Rose x Roxy.

Jadefef/Horrorcuties (one of my firsts ships while reading).

Beta OT4 simply should've been canon; i love to imagine the trolls seeing them and go like "those mfs are moirails and very loud about it", while John, Rose, Jade and Dave are simply oblivious to that. It would've been fun! (And also they're so adorable together, even in pairs. You have no idea how much I love each ship out of them!)

While Lalondecest would've been very interesting; how both Rose and Roxy, desperate for connecting in one way or another to their moms, decide to grip onto one another. Rose would've been desperate for a redeption and forgiveness, while Roxy would've just grip on the only family she now has and always wanted.

Horrorcuties are simply cute and compatible in my opinion. Both of them are witches, both of them are bubbly and friendly, but they CAN get angry and become dangerous if they want (let's not count how Feferi got insta-killed by Eridan, thanks).

Probably wrote too much, but I love explaining why I ship what I ship :3 (speaking to general followers:) feel free to ask about any ship I have or why I like it, or if I like it, etc etc :D I like to answer!

[lesboygamzee]

who’s the most normal dancestor iyo (in your opinion)

obligatory nerd emoji esque Dancestor refers to all trolls and was first coined in the comic as a word for the beta trolls . however i understand what you mean

porrim is literally just some girl good for her . shes very cool but like shes normal . shes on tumblr shes at your coffee shop shes the tescos cashier that clearly had to take her piercings out 2 hpurs ago you can go and find her walking down the street i wouldnt be surprised . outside of being a vampire of course . shes very down to earth i think thats why im very attached to her shes just a cool lady i could probably meet irl shes lirerally normal

rufioh is also ' normal ' in the way that theres thousands of men who are horrible to their girlfriends and then start yapping about theur crazy ex and hitting on teenagers but i dont like to think about that . + i dont like to think of that as normalcy even if its very common

[nekropsii]

🔥 <- Beta trolls as a friendgroup

[For the Unpopular Opinion Ask Game!!]

Okay, this isn't an opinion, this is a cry for help. No one talks about the Beta Trolls as a friend group and it makes me mad. Forcing everyone to stop talking about 13 year old children kissing for five seconds. Think about the friendships. No, Meowrails does not count, that's a Romantic Relationship. Think about Vriska and Equius. Think about Kanaya and Feferi. Think about Karkat and Eridan. Do not romantically entangle them when thinking about these friendships, I swear to god. Just consider the relationships they have with each other in canon. Think about friendship. Please. It is not lesser to romance. For the love of god.

The friendships are literally what make Homestuck Homestuck, and yet they're so deeply, deeply neglected by the fandom. Just stab me in the eye already.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Just so you know, if you’re subscribing to the whole “publicity” thing, going out there to troll or trash Alba, or just generally being a bit of an idiot about him or her, then I’m blocking and unfollowing.

Not because I care, but I DON’T.

I don’t believe it’s publicity. I really don’t. And I think anyone who does is just delusional and desperately wishing for some strange reason he was still single. But that’s my opinion. You are, of course, entitled to yours. Just as I am entitled to not want to read or see it.

And FYI, whilst we’re at it, writing untruths whilst they’re presented as facts (such as things about no leaves being green this time of year- news flash, THEY ARE… or comments about how she Alba possibly be in the country/state due to Visas. Again, BULLSHIT, trust me, I’ve had enough experience with visas for the US to last me a lifetime) is really fucking sad and dangerous.

You parasocial fucks are the reason the majority of us normal guys are now not seeing much of him at all. He said his break from SM was for the summer, I’ll be surprised if he ever comes back at all. So yeah, nice work, morons.

I find it all gross and just a bit strange to be honest. But what I find more gross is how now these people are going for him and her and their looks and how they’re both “gross” and “ugly”, how he’s “losing his looks”, “looks haggard,” “ageing rapidly,” and that she’s a “plain Jane…” bla bla bla. That’s disgusting. And I hope when you finally grow the fuck up, you really understand how shameful that is.

The marriage might last. It might not. But I really think you all need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

This fandom is toxic. And I want nothing to do with that shit. My writing blog is going on indefinite hiatus. The only stuff you’ll see coming from me will be what I’m beta reading or contributing too with my writing partner. I’m out, and need well away from this crazy.