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Role of Music Therapy for Physically and
Music therapy is a professional and evidence-based health care discipline that uses the transformative power of music to address the physical, emotional, cognitive, and social needs of individuals of all ages. It involves the use of music and musical activities by a qualified music therapist to achieve therapeutic goals and promote overall well-being.
Key Elements of Music Therapy:
Clinical Practice:
Music therapy is a clinical and therapeutic practice conducted by certified and trained music therapists. These professionals have a strong foundation in music and are equipped with the knowledge of psychological, physiological, and therapeutic principles.
Individualized Approach:
Music therapists tailor interventions to meet the unique needs of each client. The individualized nature of music therapy allows for personalized strategies based on the client's goals, preferences, and therapeutic requirements.
Wide Range of Techniques:
Music therapy incorporates a diverse range of musical techniques, including listening to music, singing, playing instruments, songwriting, and improvisation. The specific techniques used depend on the therapeutic objectives and the client's preferences.
Multidimensional Impact:
Music therapy addresses a broad spectrum of human experiences. It can impact physical health by improving motor skills, aiding in rehabilitation, and promoting relaxation. Emotionally, it provides an outlet for expression and helps manage stress, anxiety, and depression. It also has cognitive benefits, such as enhancing memory, attention, and problem-solving.
Clinical Settings:
Music therapy is practiced in various clinical settings, including hospitals, rehabilitation centers, psychiatric facilities, schools, nursing homes, and community organizations. Music therapists collaborate with interdisciplinary teams to complement and enhance the overall care provided to clients.
Evidence-Based Practice:
The field of music therapy is grounded in research and evidence-based practices. Ongoing studies contribute to the growing body of evidence supporting the effectiveness of music therapy across a range of conditions and populations.
Goals of Music Therapy:
Emotional Expression:
Provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to express and process emotions through music.
Physical Rehabilitation:
Enhance motor skills, coordination, and physical functioning through rhythmic and movement-based interventions.
Cognitive Stimulation:
Improve cognitive abilities, including memory, attention, and problem-solving, through engaging musical activities.
Communication and Social Skills:
Foster communication and social interactions by encouraging verbal and non-verbal expression within a musical context.
Stress Reduction:
Utilize music as a tool for relaxation and stress reduction, promoting overall mental well-being.
Quality of Life Enhancement:
Improve the overall quality of life by addressing holistic aspects of health, including emotional, physical, and social dimensions.
Benefits of Music Therapy:
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Emotional Expression:
Music provides an outlet for emotional expression, allowing individuals to convey feelings that may be challenging to express verbally. Cognitive Stimulation:
Engaging with music can stimulate cognitive functions, aiding in memory recall, attention, and problem-solving. Physical Rehabilitation:
Rhythmic elements in music can be incorporated into physical rehabilitation programs to improve coordination and motor skills. Stress Reduction:
Music has the potential to reduce stress and anxiety levels, promoting relaxation and overall well-being. Enhanced Communication:
For non-verbal individuals or those with communication challenges, music can serve as a powerful means of communication. Music Therapy in Different Countries:
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Music Therapy in the USA: Organizations: The American Music Therapy Association (AMTA) oversees music therapy practices in the USA. Settings: Music therapists work in hospitals, schools, rehabilitation centers, and mental health facilities. Training: Board-certified music therapists undergo rigorous training to ensure competence.
Music Therapy in the UK: Organizations: The British Association for Music Therapy (BAMT) is the professional body overseeing music therapy in the UK. Settings: Music therapists work in healthcare, education, and community settings. Training: Music therapists typically hold a master's degree and are registered with the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC).
Music Therapy in Canada: Organizations: The Canadian Association for Music Therapy (CAMT) is the national body for music therapy in Canada. Settings: Music therapists work in healthcare, mental health, and special education settings. Training: To become a certified music therapist in Canada, individuals typically complete a bachelor's or master's degree in music therapy.
Music Therapy in Australia: Organizations: The Australian Music Therapy Association (AMTA) oversees music therapy practices in Australia. Settings: Music therapists work in hospitals, aged care facilities, schools, and mental health settings. Training: Music therapists in Australia usually complete a bachelor's or master's degree in music therapy. Cities in the USA, UK, Canada, and Australia: USA: New York City Los Angeles Chicago Houston San Francisco Washington, D.C. Boston Atlanta Miami Seattle UK: London Manchester Birmingham Glasgow Liverpool Bristol Edinburgh Leeds Newcastle Cardiff Canada: Toronto Vancouver Montreal Calgary Ottawa Edmonton Winnipeg Quebec City Halifax Victoria Australia: Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Perth Adelaide Canberra Gold Coast Newcastle Hobart Darwin Different Types of Mental Diseases: Depression:
Characterized by persistent sadness, lack of interest or pleasure in activities. Anxiety Disorders:
Conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder. Schizophrenia:
A severe mental disorder characterized by distorted thinking, hallucinations, and delusions. Bipolar Disorder:
Involves mood swings, alternating between depressive and manic episodes. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):
Involves recurring, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
Develops after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. Eating Disorders:
Conditions such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD):
A neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Role of Music for Body and Mind:
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Emotional Regulation:
Music can evoke and regulate emotions, promoting emotional well-being and stability. Stress Reduction:
Listening to calming music or engaging in music-making activities can reduce stress levels. Cognitive Benefits:
Music has cognitive benefits, including improved memory, attention, and problem-solving skills. Physical Rehabilitation:
Rhythmic auditory stimulation in music can aid in physical rehabilitation and motor skills development. Social Connection:
Music brings people together, fostering social connections and a sense of community. Mood Enhancement:
Upbeat and joyful music can enhance mood and provide a sense of positivity. Expressive Outlet:
Playing or creating music allows individuals to express themselves creatively and artistically. Therapeutic Tool:
Music is used as a therapeutic tool in various clinical settings to address mental health challenges. Music therapy harnesses the therapeutic properties of music to address physical, emotional, and cognitive needs, making it a valuable intervention for individuals facing mental and physical challenges.
**About Pratanu Banerjee - Pratanu Banerjee is a teacher of keyboard, harmonica, flute, Spanish guitar, music therapy, reiki, money reiki, angel reiki, kundalini reiki, angel reiki, reiki grandmaster, holy fire reiki, unicorn reiki, emotional empowerment technique, self hypnosis, french, English, anthropology, hospital administration etc. These are certificate courses by Pratanu Banerjee at Institute of performing art and mind power development affiliated under world art organization. Cal 91â8017517171 **
#music therapy#music therapy tutor#online music therapy#music therapy course#music therapy consultation#music#therapy#best music therapy course#usa#uk#canada#australia#Youtube
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Prompt #3- Itâs on Fright
Summoning has never been off the table. In fact Danny welcomes it.
At least after the first 50 he did.
Now itâs just getting repetitive. Destroy the world, end this specific race, person, sexuality. Heâs really heard it all and it honestly sucks. Heâs a protective spirit damn it!
Look at all the high and mighty people and cultists that would call on him for their mortal issues? It's even more annoying to listen to the whiney people who think they're entitled to his power or his time.
So he did what he should've done this whole time. If ghosts are strong enough emotional echoes, why shouldn't it be the same way? He establishes a connection between his summoning circle. If the caster's intent when casting the spell is for anything other than protecting life, its free game. Que the registration of numerous ghost to send an echo of themself to fuck with the people who thought they could fuck with the king. Of course, there are rules. You're only there for a short window. No killing is permitted unless a caster is hostile and a threat to ghosts. Ensure the safety and good health of human sacrifices. Blah,blah, blah. But most importantly, make them regret ever casting the spell in the first place. Upon numerous heroes failing to stop the summoning in time, there's a vast amount of random shit that happens further proves to not fuck with the realms. Batman can only hear the nostalgic music before witnessing the lead cultist that nabbed Jason get hit by an ice cream truck driven by a muscular man and little girl in uniforms. Tim and could agree that their soft serve was the best they ever had. Hal comes onto the cultists being forced into a tea party and learning their table manners from a blue dragon in a gorgeous dress and tiara. Flash comes up to Shazam and a lanky grey figure with glasses discussing Justice League fanfiction while the cultists have to cosplay the members and live out their found family dreams. Spectra is having the time of her life honestly. Talking things out with depressed kids to work through those feelings or being allowed to pay a certain clown a visit time and time again for her good work along with, spooking frats and sororities.
Superman has been quick to react to cultists after a little demon of a girl promised to return if he wasn't treating his clone better to not repeat the beatdown that was personally recorded and handed to Lex to make if he agreed to make merch from it. Most summon sites are Jumpscare Central or a straight up scrap. It's also a wonderful chance for Spectra to give the bats what they fear most. THERAPY!!! Under Jasmine's supervision, of course. JLD has heard the outcries of the JL and still keeps their good standing with the king to themselves. Especially that said king is over every Friday with treats and gifts from throughout the ages. He's fallen for the blonde warlock that has always been able to reliably call on him because he only does it when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! Danny found it odd that the only person who could call him now was a sad Brit in a trenchcoat but a conversation or two had them see that they were often than not on the same wavelength. Sick of their duty, in need of a drink, and helping the world to the best of their ability. John is just so human and reminds him of how he is too. That soon applies to Zatanna too, who's distraught from leading. Besides, what happens in the House of Mysteries stays in the House of Mysteries.
#dpxdc#dc x dp crossover#ghost king danny#danny phantom#hellblazer#justice league#justice leauge dark#Aged up danny#Zatanna#john constantine#aged up characters#Ghost chaos#Don't fuck with their king#Summon turned on you#JLD ain't no snitch#John and Z may be in a throuple by the time the JL brings this up#polyamory#Danny is living his Bi-disaster dreams#John is a little confused#How tf did he bag two baddies#Zatanna is the most aware person in the room#Of course her husband flirted with the ghost king#Shes not mad about it#I don't know what their ship names are#help#oh god oh fuck
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ᥣđ© An Inconvenient Flat (or: How Not to Handle Your Best Friend's Hot Dad). ⹠° ă .ă *ă: r. cameron
synopsis -- Rule #1 of having car trouble: Don't call your best friend's father for help when you've been secretly sleeping with him since her 21st birthday.
warnings -- 18+-mdni, smut with plot (unprotected piv), public sex, squirting, age gap relationship, sneaking around, angst, dilf!rafe, daddy issues (the regular kind AND the fun kind), cursing
bfd masterlist | main masterlist(s) | taglist | wc: 1.7k
The orange glow of your hazard lights bounced off the trees lining the empty road, creating an eerie disco effect that matched your current mood: somewhere between panic and hysteria.
Of course this would happen tonight, when you were already emotionally drained from watching Rafe flirt with some yacht club princess at your job at the Country Club all evening.
You'd been avoiding him since the disaster at his summer barbecue last month. Watching him with that woman â some elegant socialite who actually belonged in his world â had been the wake-up call you needed.
The way she'd laughed at his jokes, her manicured hand resting perfectly on his arm, looking every bit the sophisticated partner he deserved.
Not some twenty-three-year-old who still had pizza rolls for dinner and borrowed formal dresses from his daughter. When his hand settled on her lower back, so natural and public, something in you finally snapped.
You'd "accidentally" bumped into her by the grill, making sure your plate of barbecue sauce-drenched ribs landed exactly where it would do the most damage â all over her pristine Prada sandals. Her horrified gasp had been worth it, even if it was childish.
Your fingers hovered over your phone contacts. Mom would be asleep by now, and your father wasn't even worth considering as an option. With a sigh, you called the one person you could always count on.
"Come on, Bella, please?" you begged into your phone. "It's creepy out here!"
"I'm sorry!" Maribella's voice competed with thumping music in the background. "We're at The Wreck right now. Can't you call AAA?"
You slumped against your car, eyeing the very flat, very useless tire. "They said it'll be two hours. TWO. HOURS."
"Look, I can't come get you. I'm finally on a date with Preston, and I've been really wanting to fuck him for weeks!" Maribella whined over the music. "Remember when we made that pact in tenth grade that we'd never let a man interrupt our ho phase?"
"That was before you ditched me at parties to make out with random guys," you reminded her, grinning despite your situation.
"Oh my god, ancient history! And hey, at least I didn't get caught stealing my dad's expensive whiskey like SOMEONE did during senior year."
"I didn't steal it! I was⊠borrowing it. And may I remind you who drank most of it?"
"Speaking of dadsâŠ" Maribella's voice took on that tone she used when she thought she had a brilliant idea. "I could call mine?! He's literally ten minutes away and you know he's great with cars and all that manly stuff. You know, since you're so familiar with his⊠skills."
Your stomach dropped. "No. Absolutely not."
"Oh come on! I'm still processing the trauma from when you confessed about hooking up with him at my birthday party. What's one more therapy session?" She cackled. "Besides, he's actually really helpful with cars!" she repeated. "Just try to keep it in your pants this time? I really don't need to add 'stepmom who used to braid my hair in middle school' to my list of emotional damages."
You winced, remembering how she'd spent weeks making daddy issue jokes and changing your contact name in her phone to "Dad's Type."
She'd even gotten you a "World's Okay-est Stepmom" mug for your birthday as a gag gift. The thought of giving her more ammunition made you want to crawl into a hole and die.
If only she knew just how many therapy sessions she'd actually need if she knew about all the other times her father had been helpful lately.
"Fine," you sighed. "I'll call him."
He answered on the second ring.
"Couldn't stay away, could you?"
"My tire's flat. Maribella suggestedâ"
"Of course she did." His voice was sharp. "Where are you?"
Ten minutes later, the familiar rumble of his truck approached. He stepped out looking infuriatingly good in dark jeans and a light blue henley â probably the same outfit he'd worn to meet up with the woman you saw him with at the Country Club earlier.
"Well," he drawled, "this is familiar."
"Just fix the tire, Rafe."
"What, no small talk?" He crouched down to inspect the damage. "Haven't seen you around the house lately. I'm not the reason that is, is it?"
"Don't worry about it," you laughed bitterly. "I'm sure between the country club brunettes and the yoga instructors, you barely noticed I was gone. Your bed probably didn't even have time to get cold, did it, Rafe?"
You hated how bitter you sounded, hated even more that you cared at all. It shouldn't matter who your best friend's father was sleeping with â that thought alone should have been enough to make you cringe and run away. Instead, here you were, counting his conquests like some jealous ex when you had no right to be either jealous or an ex.
But something about seeing him with other women made your skin crawl, made you want to remind him of how well he knew your body, how perfectly you fit together. It was messed up, you knew that. You shouldn't care who Rafe Cameron took to his bed. You shouldn't, but god help you, you did.
His jaw tightened. "You don't get to play the jealous ex. You're the one who walked away."
"Ex?" You let out a harsh laugh. "Pretty sure we needed to actually date first, Rafe. But we couldn't exactly do that, could we? Because this was never going to work! You're my best friend's father, for god's sake. You practically watched me grow up."
"That's notâ"
"And let's be honest, I've seen how you are with women. The yacht club brunette today? The woman at the barbecue? I'm not going to be another notch in your bedpost. What was it you used to say? That I'm 'practically family'? Funny how that worked out."
The air between you crackled with tension as he stood suddenly, his full height making your breath catch. He stepped closer, crowding you against your car until you could smell his cologne â that expensive scent that still lingered on your pillowcase no matter how many times you washed it.
The street was dead silent except for the distant chirp of crickets and your own heartbeat thundering in your ears. His proximity was dizzying, familiar in a way that made your skin prickle with awareness.
"Is that what you think this was?" His voice dropped lower, rough around the edges. The way he was looking at you â like he could devour you whole â made your knees weak, and you hated yourself for still wanting him this much.
"Wasn't it?" You meant it to sound defiant, but it came out breathy, betraying every ounce of want you were trying to hide.
The hazard lights kept casting orange shadows across his face, highlighting the dangerous glint in his eyes, the clench of his jaw. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, remembering all too well how that heat felt pressed against you, inside you.
"Christ, you're infuriating." His hands gripped your waist, pushing you against the car. "You think I sleep around because I enjoy it? I've been trying to get you out of my head since that night at Bella's party."
"By getting under every other woman in town?"
"By trying to convince myself I don't want you." His voice dropped lower, rough with confession. "It's not working."
Before you could respond, he surged forward, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss. His mouth moved against yours with desperate intensity, drawing a gasp from your throat that he swallowed eagerly.
The kiss was all teeth and tongue, punctuated by heavy breaths and quiet groans. Your hands found his buzzed head, nails scraping against his scalp as he pressed you harder against the car, his body caging yours completely.
"Back seat," you panted against his mouth. "Now."
He pulled back just enough to smirk. "So much for being practically family."
"Shut up before I change my mind."
His eyes darkened as he pulled you into the back seat, the familiar electricity crackling between you. Every touch felt like coming home and burning alive at the same time.
You'd forgotten how perfectly you fit together, how he knew exactly where to kiss to make you gasp his name.
"I've missed you," he breathed against your neck, hands mapping the familiar territory of your body like he was afraid you'd disappear again. "Every single day."
You arched into him, fingers tangling in his hair. "Prove it."
The windows steamed up as clothing was hastily discarded, the small space of the back seat making everything more intense, more desperate.
Each touch, each kiss felt like a confession neither of you could say out loud. Your bodies remembered this dance well, finding their rhythm in the darkness.
Rafe groaned as he lined himself up with your soaking cunt, and slowly sank his thick cock deep inside of you, stretching you deliciously.
Your head fell back against the seat, lips parted in a silent moan. His hips rocked forward, burying himself to the hilt inside your slick heat.
"God, you feel amazing," he rasped, voice rough with desire.
You clenched around him in response, drawing a sharp intake of breath. The feeling of fullness was overwhelming, perfect, your body struggling to adjust to his size.
Each small movement sent sparks of pleasure coursing through you, making you forget everything except how perfectly he filled you. It was almost too much â the stretch, the pressure, the way he seemed to reach places no one else ever had.
Rafe began to move, setting a steady rhythm that had you clinging to your legs around his waist.
His lips found your neck, trailing hot kisses down to your collarbone. Your fingers dug into his broad shoulders, desperately trying to ground yourself as the coiling tension inside you built higher and higher, just as Rafe began to fuck you rougher.
Your breath came in ragged gasps as Rafe's pace intensified. His powerful thrusts drove you higher, the friction delicious and maddening.
"That's it, baby," Rafe growled. "Take all of me."
He shifted the angle of his hips, bracing one hand on the window above you for leverage, and you gasped as he hit that perfect spot deep inside. His other hand gripped your hip possessively, guiding his movements as the heat between you became almost unbearable.
Your lips parted, too overwhelmed by sensation and cock drunk to form words. Understanding flickered in Rafe's eyes as he caught your silent request, his mouth claiming yours in a desperate, passionate kiss.
The intensity of the moment consumed you both as his movements grew more urgent, more demanding.
Everything else faded away until there was nothing but thisânothing but him.
In the confined space of the car, the sound of your heavy breathing and Rafe's grunts and groans filled the air. The creaking of the leather seats and the thumping of your bodies against them added to the erotic soundtrack of your lovemaking.
Stars began to burst behind your eyelids as the pressure reached an almost unbearable peak. Your body trembled beneath him, every muscle tightening as you drew closer to the edge. Rafe could feel you starting to unravel--the quick pulses of your pussy bringing him closer to his release-- your breathing becoming more erratic with each movement.
Rafe's movements became erratic, his own release near. "Scream my name when you cum for me," he commanded, voice rough. His thumb finding your most sensitive spot, circling relentlessly
"Rafe!" you gasped, the sound somewhere between a prayer and a curse. His name became your mantra as an unfamiliar pressure built low in your stomach.
You almost wanted to tell him to stop â the sensation was so intense, so foreign, like you needed to run to the bathroom â but the mounting pleasure was too overwhelming to even think about stopping. Every nerve ending was on fire as that strange feeling began to burst.
You let out a guttural scream as your body convulsed with pleasure. Rafe's thumb to your clit and his cock deep inside you pushed you over the edge with a loud wet "squelch!" causing you to squirt all over him and the back seat of your car.
Your whole body shuddered as waves of pleasure crashed over you, a cry of surprise escaping your lips as something entirely new overtook you. The intensity was overwhelming, leaving you breathless and trembling in the aftermath.
Wet sounds filled the car as Rafe continued to fuck into you, and soon after your release, with the overwhelming intensity building between you mixed with both your cries of pleasure, Rafe followed you over the edge, groaning your name as he came undone.
You felt the warmth of his release as his body trembled against yours, his forehead pressed to your shoulder as you both fought to catch your breath in the aftermath of your shared pleasure.
Still trembling, the realization slowly dawning that Rafe Cameron had just made you squirt for the first time.
"Well," Rafe's voice was rough, that dangerous smirk playing on his lips despite the tension still crackling between you. "That's definitely a first." His eyes darkened with a mix of pride and something deeper as he watched you trying to catch your breath. "Didn't know you had that in you, sweetheart."
You couldn't look at him, the weight of what just happened â what always happened between you â settling heavily in your chest. "Don't."
"Don't what?" He brushed your hair back, his touch lingering longer than it should. "Don't point out how well I know your body? Or don't remind you why you keep coming back?"
"Neither," you said coldly, shoving his clothes against his chest. The warmth in his eyes flickered and died at your tone. "Fix my tire so I can go home, Rafe."
You watched something hard settle in his jaw as the reality of what you were â what you could never be â crashed back over both of you.
Later â when your clothes were mostly back on and the windows had started to defog â he finally fixed your tire in loaded silence. The tension between you was suffocating, heavier than before. You both knew this solved nothing; if anything, it just made everything more complicated.
"This doesn't change anything," you said, watching him work. "We still can'tâ"
"I know." He tightened the last bolt with more force than necessary, the smirk from making you squirt for the first time long gone. "Go home."
Your phone buzzed â Maribella: "Haven't heard back from you⊠should I be concerned you and daddy dearest are christening the backseat of your car rn? đ But seriously, did he fix your car tire yet?"
You watched Rafe's back as he checked the tire one final time, your chest aching with the weight of what could never be. The man who made your body sing was the same man who'd helped you with your college applications, who still had photos of you and Maribella at swim meets hanging in his hallway. Some lines weren't meant to be crossed â no matter how many times you'd already crossed them.
"Thanks for the help," you said quietly, getting into your car.
He just nodded, already walking back to his truck. The weight of what could've been hung heavy between you â if only he'd met you first, in another time, another life.
Not as his daughter's best friend who practically grew up in his house, but as someone he could love openly, someone he could choose without destroying everything else that mattered.
as always, reblogs, likes, and comments keeps me motivated. đ«¶đŸ
taglist --
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THREE, TWO, RUN. ft. Peter Dunbar
⥠SUMMARY: After fleeing from your boyfriend, it isnât long before the two of you reunite, against your will or with it.
⥠CONTENT WARNINGS: pwp, afab, fem!reader, ex-boyfriend!peter x reader, peter being a serial killer, moderate description of gore, NONCON/DUBCON, fingering, oral (fem receiving), big dick peterânot great prep, p in v sex, rough sex, biting/marking kink, fear play, predator/prey dynamics, size kink, bondage
⥠WORD COUNT: 2.4k plot, 1.9k smut. 4.3k total
⥠STREAM NOTE: SMUT BELOW THE SECOND NSFW BANNER. this is a spin off from my @peachedtvs blog called 'Til Death Dont We Part'
⥠MASTERLIST. cumming soon! Main blog @peachedtv
Peter felt you were quite silly, even from when his eyes first laid upon you through the windows of your diner.
So silly, in so many ways.
You were silly in the way you spoke. Expressive, lively, words filled with kindness and rhythm. Words Peter wanted to lock away for only him to hear. Your voice always melted into his mind like honey. Soothing, calming, just like the music heâd hum to silently as he got rid of your recent obstacles. A heavy saw in his hand slashing back and forth, splitting bone into two before stuffing remains of human flesh into a black tarpeâor when he'd bring the nuisances back alive. Screams of pain, terror, and torment vastly contrasting a smooth melody muffled through his earbuds.
Your smile was silly too. Loud, boisterous laughs pairing with it each time as youâd close your eyes tightly, breaths jagged as youâd brace your stomach from the joy. Your smile so mesmerizing Peter wanted nothing more to lock it away behind a key. To melt away in the melody of your laughter, to spread it across his lips and adorn the smile as sweetly as you do.
What was even sillier was how silly you made him feel. On the surface, the twist in his stomach was sweet. An admiration, an appreciation of something so pure. Although,
Peter always fell apart.
Even in the room of his own heart.
Every silly thing had something inside of him twist. A strange twist, a bubbling feeling that had his gut wrench around itselfâcurling around and laying discomfort deep into his heart, where it stood mockingly. Unable to be buried beneath other thoughts, placed behind distractions, or replaced with another. And this bothered him.
Peter was always in control.
Control of his job, control of his victims, the police, his therapy, the growing police patrols in your city. So why couldnât he control this?
What were you doing to him?
He thought it was uncomfortable at first. But that strange feeling was quite addicting, stacking tenfolds in intensity ever since the first time he felt it with you.
âAre you okay?â
By now, this memory had occurred over 3 years ago.
The first day you two had met, Peter was not in a good mental space. His family was in ruins, the relationship between he and his mother deteriorating until he had finally decided to storm out of the house and leave for good. Leave his home for good.
With nowhere to go, and a rumbling stomach, Peter decided the best course of action was to first fuel his appetite. Damn Diner was loud, painstakingly so. There was a mess of voices, the clash of plates, cutlery, dragging of chairs against tilted floors, chaos that hummed against a muffled out melody of tunes through the ceiling speakers. Everything was so loud. There was a child in the booth next to his. A mess of ketchup and mustard spraying everywhere, a glob falling onto his cheek as his eyebrows knit together in annoyance. There was a couple in the booth across, arguing over the cries of their child whining for a crumb of their attention. There was yelling from the kitchen, scolding as a worker had done something wrong and sent an order to the incorrect table.
And then, there was you.
Timidly, you rushed over to his table. Clumsy and expressive as you stared down to him with empathy, apologizing profusely as you explained the mess around the diner. And there, all the loudness stopped. Your voice muffled, muffled until it became strikingly clear and the diner around him seem to slow. Peter's eyes traced your face, how you were out of breath, how kindly you looked to him, how you asked if he was okay. And in this world of distain, you were pure.
And there was the first twist.
Peter spent nights going crazy.
Absolutely insane.
When he had first broken into your apartment, his heavy steps drowned out by the moans of your roommate through the paper thin walls, he thought he would melt into the floor when he first inhaled the scent of you room.
It was a soft aroma, something that had his eyes rolling into the back of his skull when he saw you laying peacefully on the bed. Your head was smushed between a folded pillow, covering your ears as your face was scrunched in discomfort.
"Lucy's being so loud tonight, isn't she, Darling?" Peter spoke softly, the back of his hand gracing your cheek as he sat on the edge of your bed. Careful to dip your mattress slowly so as to not wake you. Carefully, his other hand trailed up the curve of your torso, hip to waist, before entangling with your fingers.
Your hand felt right in his.
Soft, smooth, and warm against his cold skin. And there, he knew even fate was in his hands the moment he had yours in his.
When Peter had mustered up the courage to approach you in the park, he felt his heart beating out his chest, his mind going hazy from everything he wanted to do to youâfrom hearing your voice up close again. It had been nearly a year since you two had first met at the diner, and it seemed as though you had forgotten him completely. Luckily, Peter knew enough about you through his year of...supervision, and was soon able to swipe you off your feet. There, he became yours.
Your boyfriend.
And you, his girlfriend.
Often the two of you shared late nights after your dates. The hum of cicadas drumming into the background as you'd lay into the grass of the park the two of you 'first' met in. Your hands would intertwine together as the other would hold the grass below. In this park, the two of you would often talk about your dreams, aspirations, or talk shit about whatever seemed to bother you in your life at the moment. And Peter always listened.
In other moments, the two of you enjoyed each other's company. A silence paired with the ambience of howling wind, crickets, and a glint in your eye from the reflection of the moonlight and stars twinkling above. And through this silence, your heart spilled.
âI want to be with you forever, Peter." You spoke softly, you eyes still stuck on the starlight above.
A twist, something twisted once more.
For the first time, Peter eyes looked away from youâa blush traveling to his cheeks, a pale red hue over his soft features.
âForever, then, Darling."
And forever meant forever.
Years together flew by, and you both had your own jobsâdespite Peter's insistence for you to stay at home and allow him to care for you. Although, you wanted to work. You wanted to experience the world. But what you didnât want were the unreasonable hours of overtime your boss had subjected to you. Much to Peter's dismay, many late afternoons he would return to an empty home. Full of furniture, light, decoration, but never with the person he truly wished the presence of. Every evening, you would trail home hours after him. Enervated, dragging your feet along the floorboards as you slumped into his open arms.
âI missed you, Peter.â
Your voice was like honey.
âI missed you more, Darling.â Peter greeted you softly. There it was again. Something twisted. Peter looked down to your visage. Dark eyebags staining your soft skin, a pout dragging your lips, your eyebrows furrowed slightly as you sighed from exhaustion. His gut was twisting stranger than usual. A mix of annoyance for those who have exploited you, an annoyance that made his stomach curl inside.
Peter did not want you to continue working.
Your boss had gone missing for a couple days now.
The company was in disarray, having strangely lost employee after employee ever since you were recruited. The once bustling, lively atmosphere became quiet, dull, and empty. And with the new loss of your employer, there wasnât an office cubicle you could return to. For the first time in months, you returned home before Peter.
Although, something felt off.
With Peter home, it was always lively. The ambiance of bustling trees against the wind outside, a hum of the dishwasher from the kitchen, a low vibrato of your home's ventilation system, and the comfort of your boyfriend's presence. He was such a soothing soul. Without him, the home felt strange. You felt the presence of another, many, an overbearing amount. As though invisible strings clumped together to weigh you heavier into the floor boards, creaking the dark oak louder than usual.
Without Peter, it felt as though something was calling for youâand curiously, you began to explore. Exploring the home you resided in, as this home empty of your lover didnât feel like a home anymore. And that lead you to the door that stood at the far end of the first floor. Tucked beside the laundry room, you stood still and seemed confused.
Was there always a lock?
A sturdy lock it was. Heavy metal weighing it flush against the wood, holding the door firmly shut to keep everything in out. There was a strange smell, too. A scent that leaked from beneath the dark oak doorway, filling the air with a musk of cooper and spoiled eggs. Your hand reached for the lock, flinching when built up static pricked your skin. A warning. But you held firm. Giving a cautious, downward tug as the lock went slack. It was open. You pushed the door back slowly, a low creak humming your presence, a flood of a strange meat stinging the view in your eyes.
Firmly, a familiar hand held your shoulder.
The hand of your boyfriend.
You were terrified.
âDarling, what are you doing?â
You couldnât think.
Not with the view of mangled flesh, the smell of copper and iron so strong your head began to haze strangely. No, you couldnât think. Even more so with scattered limbs decorating the floorâbeing the remainder of the morbidly intact heads of your former colleges and employer, of your missing boss. Pieces of them did not fit like a puzzle. Limbs, skin, so much of their bodies were missing.
What was that dinner Peter served these passing evenings?
And it seemed as though fate enjoyed sparking your memory.
This time around, nearly three years later, it was not scatttered corpses, blood, or flies that greeted you. You stood before the door of the fourth apartment complex you were going to apply to. Advertised as a gated community of safety, an exorbitant lot you were willing to hack up the money for to get away from him.
Although, just as three years ago, just as you were able to arrive to the complex, nails dug into your shoulder, holding you in place. A voice low, strange, and terrifyingly familiar. The grip dug into your flesh this time, keeping you from runningâjust as you did in the home you shared with him. With a door you shouldnât have opened, and a hand on your shoulder that felt larger than usual.
Your boyfriend's hand.
âI missed you, my Darling.â
You didn't know what was happening.
You scrambled fruitlessly, trying to shove Peter's hand off your shoulder when a burning wet rag was drowned upon your lower face. You kicked, muffled screams and sobs as you dug into the palm that pinched the bridge of your nose, your body growing increasingly more limp. You didn't know what was happening, but by the next moment, it seemed as though you were melting into the floorâthe world around you sputtering and glitching as your vision faded out and back in as you fell back onto a large bed.
You couldn't recognize the monster that was before you.
You didn't want to recognize the monster that was before you. Although, a rough, large hand gripped the lower half of your face, covering your mouth and pinning you down into the plush duvet to muffle horrified screams, forcing you to look deep into a being empty of a soul.
Even back then, you always felt Peterâs deep eyes had an errie glint. They seemed dull, strange, and detached from any wonder or interest. All until his gaze would flit upon you. A spark of light dashing his iris, a soft smile spreading his lips. He only looked human when he looked at you.
Peter still kept that smile. A smile that had morphed after his descent into maddness. Sharp teeth and bloodshot eyes that contrasted against sharp blues. He looked terrifying. His forearms were scattered with scars and wounds, peeled back scabs across his skinâlikely from the amount of struggling you had done while in his arms. Your name was etched into his skin. Over and over and over, hearts and sharp lines littered as keloids formed in the place of his artwork. His size dwarfed you, a wolf to rabbit. Predator to prey.
âPeââ
"You remember the time when you'd say it back, don't you, Darling?" He leaned down by your neck, breathing in shakily as though he couldn't believe you were finally here. With him. All to himself. "When you would say you missed me too." His voice was disfigured. A mix of insanity and dark undertone to his speech making your head spin and eyes well with tears. Your entire body was trembling, the skin on your back burning as every nerve in your brain set off sirens that resonated throughout your head. You felt too fearful to even choke out a pathetic sob, wanting to blend into the sheets below you.
Meanwhile, Peter felt himself going crazy. He couldn't help the way his mind ran a mile a minute as he stared down at your dicheviled form. You were always so pretty, absurdly so. Even as the strands of your hair fell misplaced over your face, even as you looked up to him with so much fear, hatred, and terror, his stomach twisted just as it did three years ago. That strange feeling laying addiction down into the lining of his stomach, soothing his body that felt run dry of how you made him feel.
He needed you. Now.
Peter brought a hand to his lips, hastily removing his right glove as he bit the fabric covering the tip of his middle finger, tugging his glove off by his teeth. His free hand pinned you pliantly down into the mattress by the lower half of your face, the other sliding beneath your shirt to tear the fabric off your body. You thrashed, muffled sobs and tears running down your cheeks, wetting the palm of his hand.
Your terror only fueled him further.
His hands groped and fondled every inch of your skin that one could imagine, a long tongue pairing with his touch as Peter licked a long stripe up your neckâsucking deep blotches and bruises of dark blue and purple hues across your neck and chest. Peter marked you as his, bit your flesh like a meal, and ruined your soft skin for his pleasure.
The mattress beneath you was in shambles. Inch deep tears lay by your head as Peter held back the urge to squeeze you blue, from ripping into your flesh, the torn mattress a goreish display of holding back the brutal cuteness aggression Peter got from the sight of you.
His hand slid from your mouth, gripping your neck tightly to restrict precious air from flooding your throat. He wanted you ditzy anyway. Nothing but a lifeless shell of who you were once he was done.
Pilant.
Obidient.
And what better way than halfway choking you out?
Your hands held his wrist desparately, nails scratching into his skin as he only smiled wider in response, stitches appearing on the corners of his mouth to prevent his face from ripping in two from his pure display of euphoria.
You hadn't stopped crying this entire time. Desparate pleas falling on deaf ears as you begged Peter that this was enough, that you'd listen, that you'd stay. And as convincing as it seemed, Peter was not giving you another chance to escape him. Not again.
His hand trailed down until it cupped your clothed cunt. Nothing on your body remaining besides your panties. A gift, perhapsâthe best for last. Peter pushed your panties to the side, experimentally swirling the pad of his thumb onto your clit, causing you to wretch out a struggled moan.
"P-Peterâ!" He only smiled in response.
"You've always been so sensitive, huh? It seems you haven't changed at all." His thumb pressed harder onto your cunt, rubbing your clit side to side as the palm of his hand pressed firmly down upon your womb. He watched you fall apart with glee, sliding his other hands between your thighs and gently nudging a finger inside of you. You threw your headback into the sheets, grabbing the duvet desperately, your hips trembling as you felt your sanity waste away to the pleasure wracked into your body.
You always fell apart so prettily.
Your hand shakily reached out to Peter, your lips quivering as a second finger curled into your cuntâthe heel of his hand hitting the underside of your puffy clit as he kept toying with the bud. It burned, terribly so. Considering how much larger his stature was to yours, how much larger his finger would be to your own, it was a miracle you werenât ripped in half yet. Although, it sure felt as though you were.
Peter stretched you out relentlessly, scissoring inside of you before curling the pads of his fingers plush against your g-spot. You arched your back desperately, crying out as your hips stuttered in response. And Peter kept prying there. His fingers pounding into your cunt, hitting your g-spot over and over and over until you felt as though you'd die from the overstimulation. As you reached out to Peter, he pulled a length of manila rope from his back pocketâgrabbing your wrists before tying your hands together and in front of your chest as through you were prayingâand perhaps you were. Praying to Peter to slow down, to be more gentle.
A third finger was nudged deep inside of you, pairing with the speed of his thumb on your clit increasing. His fingers pounded into you feverishly, sounds of your arousal soaking your inner thighs and his forearmâdirtying the sleeve of his pinstriped coat. You couldn't concentrate, no longer resisting against the firm hold his shadows had upon your wrists. No longer holding back your sweet moans.
A burning desire began to pool in your gut.
"Peter, p-pleaseâ"
A hand gripped your throat.
"P-Peter, pleaseâ I'm gonna cuâm!" He smiled to you. You were always so easy to please.
"Cum then, dear." His fingers sped up their speed inside your cunt, recklessly pounding and curling into you, bruising your g-spot painfully as you sobbed out, clenching your pussy around his cock as you squirt onto him. Peter smiled, leaning down to suck your clit and swirl his tongue around the bud as your mouth opened silently. Your hips struggled away, and yet his shoulders spread your knees firmly, the underside of your thighs thrown over them. Peter continued to bully your pussy past your orgasm, sucking and licking your clit as his fingers continued to curl and pound into you to ride out your high. You were crying endlessly. Begging him to stop, that it was enough. And yet, he didn't pull out his hand until you were merely twitching and whimpering in his bed. Broken.
"Have you lost yourself in the pleasure, Darling?" Peter was manic. Your pleasure felt like a high he couldn't describe. The way your fingers clenched around him, he felt as though it was a sign. A sign that all your struggling was only to encourage him to fight against you, a sign that you were only pretending to be scared.
"You wanted this, didn't you?" Your eyes widened open when you felt the tip of his cock slide between your folds, Peter having removed his clothing now too. You struggled, trying to sit up when his hand once again held your throat warningly, choking you lightly against the mattressâgently enough that you could take slow, shallow breaths.
"Peter, it's not gonna fiâ!" Your mouth fell open silently as Peter suddenly shoved the head of his cock inside of you. Your pool of arousal allowing him to slide in with just a minor amount of resistanceâminor to his strength at least.
Meanwhile, your eyes blew wide as you whimpered out desperately, struggling against the binds on your wrists as your cunt stretched around him. He was big, painfully so. And you were thankful he decided to slide the remaining of his length in slowly, inch by inch. And yet, even when he was just halfway, you felt as though he was already plush against your cervix.
"Is she resisting, hmm? I guess I can be a little rough, you were always into that, anyways." Before you could understand what Peter meant, he slammed the remaining half of his length deep inside of you as you screamed out, your hands curling tight fists as your nails dug deep crescents into your palms.
Before you knew it, Peter pulled out to the tip, and slammed right back into you. His pace was unwavering. A hand gripped on your neck, the other pressing you into the mattress by a palm against your womb as he split you on his cock. Peter pounded into you, skin against skin as you soaked his cock, splashing your arousal onto his pelvis and lower stomach. He was big, too big. Tears streamed down your face, and Peter only wiped them with his thumb before licking it into his mouth. He wanted to taste your fear.
He wanted to rip you apart.
Your chest heaved as his thumb came down to your clit once more, roughly pressing onto you before swirling it harshly. You arched your back, clawing at the wrist on your throat as you moaned, crying around his cock when the underside of it would press into your g-spot, when the head of it would slam so deep against your cervix you felt he might fuck himself into your womb. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, a hand gripping the torn sheets below you as you cried out when your pussy clentched around him.
"Please, please, can I c-cumâ" You sobbed, looking down to where you and Peter where connected, seeing your cunt stretched impossibly wide for your ex-boyfriend's cock.
"Don't you dare."
"Please, Baby."
Fuck.
You drove him fucking crazy.
Peter swore he couldâve cum on the spot from hearing you finally call him baby once more, the name you neglected from him. The only name you should be calling him. Peter laughed.
"You truly know me so well, Darling." Peter's pace increased. His cock pounding into you hard enough to have your tits bouncing and the frame of the bed on the verge of giving outâyour cunt clentching onto his fat cock even more.
"You can cum in three seconds." You nodded stupidly, too desparate to think.
Peter pulled back to the tip, slamming back inside.
"Three," His palm pressed into your womb, feeling the buldge of his dick against his hand, his cock dragging against your velvety walls. You swore you were going to die if you couldn't cum soon, Peter's counting teasingly slow as he fucked into you like a fleshlight. Like a pet.
"Two." Your pussy fluttered against him, Peter's fingers swirling your clit viciously.
"One," You whined, sliding your hands to his upper back as you raked down his skin.
"Please, please, please, let me cum." You were going crazy.
"Cum." You threw your head back, near screaming his name like a mantra as you clencthed around him, squirting for the second time that night as his cock continued to pound deep inside of you. Peter let go of your throat, his hands sliding beneath the underside of your thighs to push your knees into your chestâfucking you meanly in a harsh mating press as he refused to slow down. You felt like your soul was going to fall out your body, your pussy spasming as Peter continued to pound into you without any concern to your fresh orgasm and painful overstimulation that burned your walls.
"B-baby, Peterâplease, I can'â"
And for the first time since three years ago, and for the first time togetherâPeter kissed you.
His kiss was soft, gentle, loving. His hips never stilled, continuing to rip orgasm after orgasm out of your poor little pussy. Although, his mouth was soft against yours, eyes closed and hand holding your neck lightly as the tips of his fingers graced your bruised skin. Bruised with the marks of his love, his obsession.
He held your face as kindly, as though you may be gone if he didn't keep you in his arms forever. Peter's tongue slid into your mouth slowly, and you moaned around himâletting him in. Your body missed him so much.
Maybe you still love him, even after it all.
Peter's pace became staggered, his hips slowing until he kept his cock deep inside and came directly into your womb. His load gushed out from the sides of your hole that stretched around him, stuffing you full. Peter allowed your thighs to rest by his hips, laying you back against the mattress as he continued to kiss you. His hands massaged your body, comforting the bites, hickeys, and bruises.
"I love you, Darling."
Peter spoke softly, pulling away from you. Admiring your fucked out state.
"So don't you leave me ever again."
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Show You | Virgin Eddie x Fem!Reader



Summary: Eddie meets you 4 years after he escapes the upside-down when he moves to your small Californian town.
Wc: 7k AN: sorry to the anons that requested Virgin!Eddie like a month ago, but here shit is!
Cw: shy/angsty/insecure!Eddie, fluff, SMUT, Virgin Eddie x experienced fem reader, size kink, blowjob, p in v, protected sex, sub!Eddie. Switch?eddie, dirty talk.
1990
Eddieâs life for his first twenty years wasnât necessarily the best⊠drugs, alcohol, child neglect, and that wasnât even the worst of it. Eddieâs dreams were haunted by the horror story of his life, which was 1986.
Four years ago, the gates of hell opened, and Eddie was dragged into them, kicking and screaming. Eventually, he got out with his weird band of misfits, but the scars left on his body by those disgusting creatures only remind him daily of the horrors he survived.
He survived. He got out and was paid a fat sum by the American government for keeping quiet. So he took the money and his Uncle and they ran. They ran far, far away from Hawkins, so far they ended up in the quaint town of Ferndale, California.
The Munson men had grown accustomed to the small-town life and did not want to give that up. They were pleasantly surprised when they moved to Ferndale. The vibrant Victorian-style homes painted in different shades of pastel colours added a pop of colour to the town's landscape. Wayne was particularly taken by the town's charm and ultimately decided he didn't want to leave.
The smell of saltwater from the nearby ocean was a refreshing change, and the Munson men enjoyed taking long walks on the beach during their free time to clear their heads of their tortured past. The picturesque scenery of Ferndale was a welcome change from the mundane routine of their old town of Hawkins.
With that money from the government, Eddie was able to buy himself and his uncle a nice four-bedroom house; they had so much room for just the two of them they didnât know what to do with it. Eddie owed everything to his uncle, so of course, he needed to splurge.
Eddie had to undergo hours of physical therapy daily to fix every joint and muscle on the right side of his body, which made it difficult for him to perform even the simplest of tasks. It took him a couple of years to recover and walk properly again, but he remained determined to make a fresh start and leave his old life behind.
Once he was finally able to function normally, Eddie set out to find a new job that would provide him with a real opportunity to rebuild his life. He was determined to leave his past behind and start anew without any remnants of his old life hanging over him, including drug dealing. Eddie knew that it wouldn't be easy, but he remained committed to his goal. He was willing to put in the hard work necessary to succeed in his new job and build a better life for himself. For him, this was a second chance, a fresh start that he was determined to make the most of.
The door chimed and jingled as the fall air flowed into the small music store. While the locals were bundled up in layers of corduroy and jean jackets, scarves, and gloves, Eddie enjoyed the breeze that entered the shop. His faded black Metallica t-shirt was the only one in sight.
The doorbell's persistent chime was starting to wear on Eddie's nerves as the evening came to a close. It had been a long and busy day, with customer after customer coming in. With only twenty minutes left to go, he was getting ready to close up shop alone tonight. He considered flipping the sign a little early because, finally, after hours of non-stop work, the floor was empty of people.
Eddie was behind the counter, wiping down the work area and facing away from the door, when he heard those dreaded chimes. His shoulders dropped with defeat; he was a fool to think this day could be ended early.
He put on a façade of good customer service, but his expression quickly changed to genuine happiness mixed with nerves upon seeing who had walked into the small record store.
He had seen you around town, at the grocery store and sometimes at the beach. He admired you from afar, never once approaching you. No. You intimidated him but in the best way. You were like no other woman he had seen before.
Growing up in Hawkins, being secluded as the town freak, he didnât have much exposure to female attention. Or any romantic attraction for that fact. So when you entered the store, Eddieâs palms felt sweaty, and his heart started to race; he could hear the blood pounding in his ears as his eyes locked with yours.
He swore he saw a sparkle in your eyes when you looked at him, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. He didnât even know your name yet.
âE-evening,â he awkwardly waved as you browsed the slim aisle.
âHi,â your face broke out into a smile and went back to your search. Your best friend Charlieâs birthday was tomorrow, and you needed to get her a gift before her party.
As you searched and searched, you were still looking for an album you thought she would like. You two were total opposites when it came to your music preferences, so you had no idea what to get her. After minutes with no success, you found yourself calling out to the only other person in the store.
âHey, I don't mean to bother you, but I need your opinion.â You snap Eddie out of his little daydream, obviously that you were the start of that daydream.
âSure!â He said he was a bit too excited. âHow can I help youâ he smiled but swung his long arms back and forth uncomfortably as he approached you.
âIâm looking for a birthday gift, and Iâm a total newbie when it comes to metal. Do you think you can help me?â You bite your lip, observing the man in front of you.
He possessed an alluring, bad-boy persona that made him quite charming. His hair was long, reaching his shoulders, and looked unstyled, yet it was evident that he had taken time to make it look just right. The chocolate waves cascaded down his face, framing his striking features, which were difficult to ignore. His big, round eyes were captivating, and they softened his tough exterior, making him appear less intimidating, especially with that nasty scar running through his left cheek and up to his temple. He had a fair complexion, and his arms were visible, revealing numerous tattoos that covered some scars running up from his forearm to his bicep, which aided his rugged appearance.
He saw you staring and immediately wrapped his arms around himself, trying to conceal the scars from your gaze. You felt bad. You know itâs rude to stare, but he was so enticing to look at; youâd never seen anyone like him before, especially not in this North California town of yours.
âIâm sorry, I didnât mean to make you uncomfortable.â You gestured to the arms he was concealing.
"S'all good." He brushed it off, but you could tell he was, in fact, uncomfortable.
"If it makes you feel any better... it makes you look like a total badass." You smirked.
"Oh really?" hearing your compliment did make Eddie feel a little better.
"Yeah, total babe magnet." You flirt.
"Well... I don't know about that?" Eddie's closed-off demeanour quickly changed to bashful.
"You're not from here, are you?" you looked at his name tag "Eddie," you cock your head, taking him in once again.
He's taller than you by at least a full head. His shoulders are broad, and his torso is lean. You'd guess he is around your age, mid-twenties, give or take a year or two.
Eddie liked the way you said his name.
"Nah, moved here a few years ago," he smirked.
"Well, I'm glad you did because you look just like the style of a guy who can help me." You bite your lip.
"I do?"
"Like I said, my friend is a total metalhead, and I don't have a clue on what to get?"
"Sure, yeah, I'm definitely your guy for that."
He walked you over to the correct section of the store, and you noticed a slight limp to his gate.
"If they're just an okay friend, I suggest this," He held up a small cassette. "but if they're a really good friend, Then this is definitely the thing to get them."
"Oh, this looks like something they would like! Charlie never shuts up about this band." You smile, taking the record from Eddie's hands. You decide this is the one and let Eddie know you want him to ring you up.
"So is Charlie like your boyfriend or something" God Munson, real smooth.'
This made you giggle.
"Why do you wanna ask me out or something? You cocked your head.
"Yeah, or something," Eddie's demeanour suddenly became coy.
"Well, Charlotte is my best friend, no boyfriend. " you take the record off Eddie's hands.
"Oh ok cool-coolâ
Seconds of awkward silence filled the air, you could sense he wanted to talk to you more.
âYea, well umâ-
âYou think I could have your number?" He asked while fiddling with his fingers. His long, thick fingers were decorated with silver rings, scars and chipped black polish. You liked his fingers; he looked like the kind of guy who knew how to use them.
Eddie's personality was more like that of a teddy bear than his outward appearance suggested.
"Sure," You smiled and pulled out an old receipt and a pen from your purse. You flipped it to the blank side and wrote your name and number on the back. "Call me." You winked as you passed it to Eddie before exiting the store.
Eddie couldn't believe what just happened. He locked up as soon as you left, watching to make sure you made it into your car safely. The crime rate in this town was non-existent, but now Eddie knew what was lurking in the shadows. He could never be too careful.
Eddie made it home about half an hour later and was examining the small paper you'd given him. He looked over the pink loopy writing of your name, and he traced over the love heart you'd written in the top right corner.
"What that you got there, boy" Wayne walked into the room and noticed what Eddie had been memorizing. He bent down and picked up the white paper marked in pink ink off of the coffee table. "Well, well, well, I'll be damned," He huffed with excitement. It was about time Eddie put himself out there.
"I bet she's real cute." He winked at his blushing nephew.
"Yeah," Eddie sighed, thinking about your face.
"If you need any tips, let me know." Wayne smiled.
"Huh?"
"I'll have you know I know how to treat a lady right, so when you come begging for help, I'll be right here." He patted his shoulder.
"Yeah, okay, Mr. Cassanova." Eddie scoffed. Wayne had never been with anyone since Eddie entered his life.
"Whatever," Wayne mumbled under his breath as he exited the living room to give Eddie some semblance of privacy. He would be able to hear the whole conversation, but he still wanted to give the illusion of privacy to his boy.
When the phone rang, you had been wrapping Charlie's present in your bedroom.
"I got it!" You yelled out to your roommates, rushing over to the other end, praying that it was Eddie on the other end.
You let it ring two more times as you took a deep breath before picking it up.
"Hello," You smiled.
"Hey, uh, this is Eddie."
"Hi, Eddie," you smiled. He could tell it was you by your voice. "I'm glad you called." You played with the phone cord, wrapping it and then unwrapping it from your fingers as you spoke.
"I was wondering if you were free on Saturday?"
You jumped up and down, giddy he was asking you out, when Charlie and Evan, your two roommates, rounded the corner to see what had gotten you all googly-eyed.
"I work Saturday until three, but I'm free after" You look at your roommates and Charlie's mouth "Who's that"
"Great, I -uh- was thinking we could maybe see a movie or dinner or both; yeah, both are good." Eddie cleared his throat.
"Yeah, both are good," You giggle back.
"Great, I can pick you up around six, that okay?"
You agree and give him your address. You wish him a good night and hang up with phone with the biggest smile on your face.
"Okay, spill, who was that." Evan and Charlie corner you before you can escape.
"You know the music store on Main St.?" You grin.
"Yea," they say in unison.
"I was in there tonight, and the guy who works there, Eddie, asked me for my number, and we are going out on Saturday."
"You mean the scary guy with the hair and the nasty scar on his face?" Evan's eyes widen.
"Trust me, he is not scary," you giggle.
"Okay," Evan draws out. He was always protective of you.
"Trust me, you should have seen how timid he was; he's really sweet." You reassure them.
"We need to get you an outfit!" Charlie jumps into action, heading for your room.
"Wait!" You rush by her, shoving the gift under your pillow so she can't see anything.
"Something I should know? any particular reason you were at the music store tonight?"
"Nope! No reason at all; I saw a cute guy and thought I would shoot my shot." You brush off
"Yeah, okay," She totally knew.
Eddie was frantic. This was honestly and truly his first date. He doesnât count the disaster of a night that was Jackie Manning in the fourth grade that had been wiped from his memory.
Eddie was bouncing around the house from room to room, trying to gather things he needed for the evening. He wanted this to work. He wanted to get to know you. He wanted to build something, he was already a twenty four year old whoâs never been in a relationship or had sex. And he wanted those two things so badly. He was lonely, and he missed his friends from Hawkins, but he could never go back, not after everything that had happened. And because of everything that happened was the exact reason he was still a virgin.
The pressure to please was building in his head as the time started getting closer to 6:00pm.
âDonât psych yourself out, kid.â Wayne watched as his nephew flew around the house. âYouâre making me dizzy.â
âWhat if she thinks Iâm a freak like everyone else?â His sentence tapers off as his voice turns into a mumbled whisper.
âSon, listen to me. This town is no Hawkins. You do not need to hide anymore, and you never know. Maybe sheâs more of a freak than you ever can be,â his uncle laughed.
âNot helping.â He rolls his eyes, walking back to his room. He was looking for the new cologne he bought for tonight. He sprits it on himself maybe one too many times, but it didnât matter, he was sweating so much he needed to change his shirt, again.
Looking into the mirror, he couldn't help but notice the scars that crisscrossed along his torso. It was obvious that his scars had a story, one that was filled with pain and struggle. Despite feeling self-conscious, Eddie took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was more than his physical appearance. With care, he fixed his hair and pulled on a black long-sleeved collared shirt, hoping it would provide some comfort and confidence.
With one last deep breath, he worked up the courage to grab his keys and walk out the front door.
âGood luck, be yourself, donât forget the flowers and open the door for her damnit! I didnât raise you to be no brute!â
âGot it!â Eddie yelled out before shutting the door with a click.
As you were lost in thought, a distant rumble of an old engine caught your attention, and you instinctively turned towards the window. You noticed a striking red two-door sedan pulling up to the front of your house, and your eyes were immediately drawn to Eddie as he stepped out of the car. He exuded an air of confidence, wearing a sleek black leather jacket that complimented his impressive physique. You couldn't help but watch as he flicked the butt of his cigarette onto the ground and crushed it under his black boots.
Your gaze moved up his long, toned legs, admiring the way they looked in his fitted black jeans, to his slim waist and broad shoulders that seemed to dominate the space around him. As he walked towards the trunk of the car, his movements were so graceful that they seemed almost rehearsed. He retrieved what looked like a bouquet of flowers. You couldnât help but fucked him as you watched how he walked up to the front porch. He looked like pure sex, and you couldnât wait to climb him like a tree.
Yeah, it has been a while since you last got laid, and this date with Eddie was getting your hopes up that that streak will soon come to an end.
The closer he got to the porch, the more the butterflies built in your stomach. The knock on the door shot you up from where you were perched, and you quickly made your way down the stairs.
âHiâ you smile brightly as you open the door.
âHey,â Eddie smirked shyly as he took you in. It was like he forgot to breathe for a second. How could someone be cute and sexy at the same time?
âHiâ you repeated.
âI got you these.â he passed you a cute bouquet of pink and purple flowers.
âThank you, Eddie.â You smile and smell them, finding your bashfulness.
âFor us, you shouldnât have!â Evan comes up and takes the flowers out of your hands
âOkay, bad boy, have our girl back by midnightâ Charlie comes up from behind you, giving Eddie a once over.
âCharlie?â Eddie points.
âOh, you talked about me? Iâm flattered,â your best friend pecks you on the cheek.
âIâm sorry. I donât know who you are?â Eddie motions to Evan.
âEvanâ he smiles and puts his hand out to shake. âThe unspoken about roommate.â
âDonât worry about him. Heâs just salty. Iâm going out, and heâs stuck at home with Charlie and her new Dio album,â you smirk.
âWell, I hope you enjoy, Iâm personally a fan of track 8,â Eddie rocks back on his heels.
âI like him; heâs the boy version of me.â Charlie nods in approval.
âOkay, letâs go.â You grab Eddie's arm and close the door behind you before your roommates can say anymore.
Eddie walked you to the passenger side of the red sedan and opened the door for you.
âThank you,â you smiled, and Eddie jogged to the other side.
The car ride was a little quiet but not long. Eddie jogged out to the other side and opened the door for you with a smile.
You talked a bit more before the movie. He bought the popcorn and drinks. He didnât open up much about why he moved, but you spoke about your interests and your future goals up until the movie started.
During the movie, you tried to pass signals to him to make a move. You rested your hand out so he could take it, but it seemed that he was engrossed in the film. You tried leaning in closer so he could put his arm around you, but nothing. So you pulled a Hail Mary and rested your hand on his thigh. You felt his body stiffen under your touch, but the. He relaxed a little and took your hand in his.
You glanced over at Eddie, and he was grinning at you. The light off the movie screen reflected off the deep scar marking Eddieâs cheek. God, he was beautiful.
âWhat?â Eddie whispered.
Shit, did you say that out loud?
âYouâre beautiful.â You whispered back confidently. Something about Eddie told you he wasnât complimented often, but you wanted to change that.
âOh,â Eddie blushes, the red crawled up his chest, and he felt his ears burning bright red. Thankful for his long hair and the dark theatre.
After the movie, Eddie didnât let go of your hand until you got to the car; then, when you both were back in the car, he bravely reached over and took your hand in his once more.
Dinner was lovely; he pulled out your chair for you, and he opened up more to you about himself. He was extremely charming and funny, vibrant and animated, and he made you feel alive. Eddie was such a breath of fresh air compared to the men from your past.
By the end of the night, you didnât want it to end. You drove around for a while before you both decided it was for the best to take you home.
Like the perfect gentleman he had been all night, Eddie walked you up to your door.
âI had a really nice night with you.â You smiled up at him. He made you feel like a teenager again.
âMe too, Sweetheart.â
Your heart soared at the nickname.
Eddie leaned in, hoping and praying he was reading the room correctly. He felt like his insides were going to explode, and he took the risk and kissed you.
Eddieâs hands grabbed your waist and pulled you in closer as you leaned into him. He felt your hands wrap around his neck and bring your bodies closer. His hard frame was pressed against your soft one; he let a soft moan slip as he felt your soft breasts graze his chest and your plush thighs press against his centre.
Eddie quickly pulled away once he felt his cock hardening against your body; the last thing he needs is your thinking he is some perv.
âGoodnight, sweetheart.â Eddie cupped your face, giving you one quick peck before stepping back and trying to cover his crotch with his jacket.
âGoodnight, Eddie,â you smile, and you look at him like no one has looked at Eddie. It made his knees feel like jello.
âIâll call you,â he smirked; his confidence had grown since he walked out his front door.
âYou betterâ
Eddie and you have been dating for two months now. Everything had been going well, everything but your sex life, or lack thereof.
Eddie hadnât made a move. Nothing went past makeouts and heavy petting, and you were starting to get insecure. Everything else was amazing, but nothing ever led to anything more.
You had tried to initiate sex, but every time you were turned away, even a blow job, Eddie made an excuse for you not to go past kissing.
You were pulling away, and Eddie could sense it. He was absolutely fucking this up, but his inner thoughts were his worst enemy. How could you be with someone as inexperienced and deformed as him? Could he please you? What if he finished in ten seconds? He would be mortified. But all of that felt like nothing if it meant losing you.
Tonight, he would change that. Tonight, he had the whole evening planned. He had the house to himself as Wayne was also out with a lady friend he had met at the town bar. Things were looking up for the Munson men in California.
After your date with Eddie, he invited you over to his place for the first time. His house was beautiful; you wondered how Eddie could afford a place like this? He had already disclosed to you he had purchased it all on his own.
âAre you a part of the mobâ you joke as you take in the house.
Eddie chuckled and led you further into his home.
âYou want a drink?â
âYeah, whatever youâre having,â As you make your way over to the large sofa you take a seat and let out a deep sigh as you sink into the comfortable cushions.
The room is quiet, save for the sound of Eddie shuffling around in the kitchen, and you begin to feel a little uneasy in the silence, not knowing what to do to fill the time. Thankfully, Eddie walks in with two beers in his hands, and you can't help but smile at the sight of him.
He hands you a beer and takes a sip of his own before heading over to the stereo to put on some music. As the music starts to fill the room, you begin to feel more at ease.
âSo, where is your Uncle?â You ask casually.
âOut for the night, we have the place to ourselves.â He smiles as he sits down beside you.
âOh, so he is gone the whole night?â You ask, trying not to get your hopes up.
âYep,â he ended his word with a crisp pop.
âThatâs good.â You nod your head. âSure is a big place to be alone in.â
âWanna keep me company?â Eddie nuzzled his face into your neck.
âYes,â you sigh as the beer in your hands has been completely forgotten. Finally, you were going to spend some much-needed alone time with Eddie.
You push back so you can turn your head to kiss Eddie. You turn your body so you can get a better angle. Eddie cups your face pulling you closer, he wanted to feel you, all of you.
You needed to feel him more, too; your pussy was in control; you swung your leg over his lap so you could straddle your man. Your hips started moving on their own. Grinding down onto Eddieâs lap. Eddie hands travels from your face down your back to cup your ass pulling you closer. His cock was already hard; you felt how big he was through his taught jeans. You pull away to slip your hands under his shirt, but Eddie grabs your wrists hastily.
âBaby, whatâs wrong?â You ask worried. The grip on your wrists was firm. âI thought you were into this?â You feel like you are folding into yourself.
âI am!â He was quick to correct you.
âDo you not want me in that way?â Your voice was so small.
âNo! I mean, yes, I do, I really, really do.â He shakes his head.
âThen why donât you want to do anything with me?â
âI do, fuck, sweetheart. I really do. Itâs all I think about.â He stroked your hair reassuringly.
âThen let me.â You tried unbuttoning Eddieâs jeans, but he stopped you once again. You were fighting back tears of embarrassment. You were throwing yourself at him, and he was rejecting you time and time again.
âSweetheart, wait, I have to tell you something⊠well, two things.â
âWhat itâs it, baby?â Now you were nervous.
âI-shit- I want this to be⊠be so good for you, but IâmâŠnot reallyâŠexperienced.â he avoided eye contact, and it finally clicked.
âEddie, are you a virgin?â Your question with no judgment or malice in your tone.
He slowly nods his head, looking down in his lap.
âBaby, that doesnât matter to me.â You hook a finger under his jaw to make him look at you.
His wide eyes were sorrowful like he didnât want to disappoint you.
âYeah?â He whispers.
âYeah,â you confirm with a kiss as you lean down into him. Slowly, you started rocking your hips into his lap once again.
âSweetheart, there is uh-one more thing.â He pulls away; you can already feel his thick cock beneath you.
âIf youâre not ready, we donât have to do anything.â
âNo, no, I-I want to. Itâs umm. Shitâ
âYou donât have to tell me if youâre not ready,â you cooed.
âI kinda have to if I want to sleep with youâŠâ
âOkay, Eddie. Take your time.â
âMy uh- scars. Theyâre everywhere." he gestured to his middle, " And I donât want you to be grossed out or whatever.â He was bitterly honest with you. All of his walls came tumbling down, and you felt like an ass for not even considering his feelings about the situation.
âEddie,â you sighed.
âNo, I know what I look like, and itâs not normal. I donât want you to get scared off or worse because I really like you. And god, I wanna have sex with you so bad itâs all I can think about that makes me sound so perverted- but itâs true. I want to be with you so bad.â
You cut him off with a kiss. A deep, sensual kiss that makes Eddie forget his own name.
âLet me take care of you,â you whisper into his lips.
âYou donât have to. I want this to be about you.â
âNo baby, you do so much for me. Let me do this for youâ You kiss down his jaw to his neck, sucking a dark purple mark until youâre satisfied and Eddie is withering underneath you, trying to get any sense of friction.
Your hands explored his waist above his shirt, feeling his body. It was bumpy, and there were ridges where you were not used to, but it didnât deter you from wanting to be with him.
You could feel his body stiffen when your fingers traced over his scars.
âIs there any place you donât want me touching?â You whispered.
âNo, no, touch me- please.â his chest moved up and down with his heavy breaths.
Eddieâs body felt like it was on fire. No one has ever felt him in this way. He needed more but didnât want to press you. So he let you take your time.
Your hands once again tried to break past the barrier of his shirt. This time, he let you as your warm fingertips worked their way up his tummy, feeling his skin beneath you.
âCan I take this off?â You ask.
Eddie nodded his head frantically; he trusted you and wanted nothing more than to keep going.
He sat up a bit, letting you shuffle the soft cotton over his head.
Your gaze didnât break from his body. It was so beautifully mangled you could see he had skin grafting scars all across his chest and sides.
âI get it if youâre not attracted to me.â
âHey,â you grab his head in both hands, forcing him to look at you. âIâve never wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be with you right now.â You take a hand off his face to grab his hand and guide it to your soaked panties.
Eddieâs eyes widen with surprise as he feels your pooled slick in your panties.
âHoly shit,â Eddie gasped.
âI want you, Eddie. I want you so bad. I want to make you feel good.â You grind yourself on his hand before you slink off his lap and onto your knees in front of him.
You were about to give him the best blowjob imaginable. You didnât know what Eddie went through, but you knew he was one of the most genuine guys youâve ever met, and he deserved this moment.
You were quick to unbuckle his belt and pants before guiding your hand up his still-covered cock. Your fingers are hooked under the elastic waistband of his boxers, and his pulsing cock sprang free.
Your eyes widen at the sight in front of you⊠you knew he would be big, but you werenât expecting him to be that big. How has he been hiding this from you all this time?
âWhat? What's wrong?â
âEddie, youâre huge,â your mouth hung agape. In front of you is a cock at least eight inches long and thick, with a slight curve to the left.
âWhat? No.â
âYouâre joking?â You laugh.
Eddie looks at you with a blank stare. Maybe laughing while his cock was out wasnât the best idea.
âEddie, Iâm serious,â you take his length in your hand. âThis is the biggest dick Iâve ever seen.â It felt heavy in your hand.
"Really?"
"Really, I don't think it's going to fit?" You chuckle, a little worried.
"Can- can we at least try?" Eddie stutters.
"Don't worry, baby, I always like a challenge."
You didn't let Eddie respond before your mouth was enveloping the tip of his cock. You swirled your tongue around the head before taking as much as possible without triggering your gag reflex.
"Holy shit" Eddie instinctively grabbed your hair as you lowered your head down the shaft. His face scrunched up in pleasure.
"You like that baby?" You ask, popping up for air, your hand replacing your mouth.
"Yes," he sucked in a sharp breath as your hand applied the perfect amount of pressure to his cock.
"I can't believe you've been holding this secret from me for so long, naughty boy." You smirked before taking him back in your mouth.
" I-I-didn't-fuck! Didn't know?" Fuck why had Eddie been holding off on this feeling? This wonderful feeling of your beautiful mouth surrounding his length.
You worked your head up and down his head before Eddie pulled you off unexpectedly.
" I'm gonna come if you keep doing that."
"That's the point, baby." You smiled.
"But I wanna have sex," He rushes out.
"Okay." You smile, and you both stand up, taking his hand in yours. "Wanna show me your bedroom?"
Eddie frantically nods his head yes before he pulls you up the stairs to the bedroom. You giggle behind him as he runs up the stairs, trying not to trip as his pants and boxers are wrapped around his ankles.
He rushes the both of you over to his bed, and he lays you down before him before you can take off your clothes.
"Tell me what you want," you coo, tucking a piece of hair behind Eddie's ear as he hovers over you.
"You, I want you so bad," he whines between kisses.
"Good boy," you smile, and Eddie swears his heart stops beating.
"How do you want me?" you ask as Eddie's hands explore every inch of your still-clothed body.
"Naked." He kissed the exposed skin of your neck.
"Mmmm, good boy, tell me what you want," you say as Eddie's mouth finds your sweet spot.
You hear Eddie whimper at your praise, so you decide to keep pushing. In a moment of intense emotion, something inside him breaks. A deep longing takes hold of him, compelling him to be nothing but a perfect and devoted man for you. The thought of being your good boy fills him with an unfamiliar sense of need, one that he has never encountered before.
"You like it when I call you that, baby?"
Eddie mumbles an answer into your neck.
"What was that? I couldnât hear you."
"Yes, please, I want to be your good boy." He rutted his bare cock against your wet panty-covered core, and it sent a wave of pleasure through you.
"Oh, Eddie," You moan. "help me take off my clothes," You ask sweetly.
Eddie waisted not another second before your shirt was over your head and your skirt ripped off of your hips. You managed your bra while Eddie did the honours of revealing your swollen wet pussy.
"How do you want me?" you ask as your fingers trace your pussy lips before opening your legs wide for Eddie to see you play with your pussy.
"I've died and gone to heaven." Eddie's eyes were wide as he took in your body.
"I want you to feel me, baby." you reach out for Eddie's hand and guide it back to your pussy like you had downstairs. You slowly guided his thick fingers through your folds, collecting your slick before you showed him where your tight hole was.
âHoly shitâ Eddie couldnât believe he was allowed to touch you like this.
"It's okay, you can go in" You rocked your hips into Eddies and hoping his fingers would breach your cunt.
"Oh my god," You say in unison as his long, thick finger stretches you out ever so slightly.
"You're so tight." Eddie slowly tests the waters as he pumps his fingers in and out of your pussy.
"mmmm, think about how good it's going to feel when my tight little pussy is wrapped around your big, thick cock"
Eddie's brain short-circuited, his hand stopped moving, and you let out a giggle when you realized you had broken his brain.
"Can I?"
"Just a little bit more warming up, baby. You're just so big I need to get ready for you." You bat your lashes at him.
"fuck you can't say things like that to me."
"Why you don't like it?" You tease.
"Quite the opposite, sweetheart."
"You wanna know a secret to a woman's pleasure?"
"Yes"
"You gotta pay a lot of attention to right here" You guide his hand to your swollen clit. You let out a moan when his fingers make contact with your bundle of nerves.
You show him how to circle it, and Eddie couldn't believe the sight below him. He was giving you pleasure. He could tell by your blissed-out face he was doing a good job; he was being your good boy.
"Fuck I need you now," you moan, feeling your orgasm build.
"I have condoms," Eddie blurts out.
"Good, go get one," you breathe heavy with lust. Eddie hops off the bed, almost tripping over his pants that were still wrapped around his ankles, making you giggle.
You watched as he reached his nightstand opening the drawer. Your pussy was throbbing, and you couldnât take your eyes off how his shoulder blade jutted out, and his back muscles rippled and dipped through the large scar that covered most of his left side. Your eyes travelled down, and the perfect view of his perky ass was right there for the taking. So you canât help yourself as you reach out and swat at it playfully, making Eddie jump.
âYouâre a little minx.â he turns quickly, wrapped condom in hand.
Eddie quickly crawls back into the bed before unwrapping and rolling the condom down his throbbing length. Then he froze, not knowing what to do next?
âHow do you want me, Eddie baby?â You playfully twirl a piece of his unruly hair around your finger.
âCan-can you be on top to start?â
âLayback for me.â You un-twirl your finger from his hair and gently push his shoulders back so he can get comfortable.
His cock lay flat against his stomach, passing where his belly button should have been.
Slowly, you wrap your legs around his body, aligning your centre with his. You take his girth in your delicate hand and guide his cock to your wanton hole. You glide his tip through your pussy lips a few times, teasing and collecting your slick before slowly sinking your way down. You let out a shaking breath as he splits you in half.
It took everything within Eddie to not rut his hips up into you; his knuckles turned white as he gripped the sheets beneath him, trying to do everything not to plant his feel so he could to hold back.
Heâd never felt anything so heavenly. You were so fucking tight around him. He couldnât believe how amazing this felt. Your pussy was his own personal paradise, and he was never leaving.
âFuck-fuck-fuck-â you stuttered as your pussy adjusted to his size. The burn was long but so good, you wanted more of him.
Eddie watched as your pinched-up face relaxed, changing quickly from uncomfortable to pure pleasure when you reached the hilt.
âHoly shit,â Eddie swore he could have come right then and there if he wanted it. But he didnât want it, not yet. God, he be damned if he didnât make this moment last forever.
âYou like the way my pussy is wrapped around your fat cock, big boy?â You start to rock your hips slowly, teasing the man who is falling apart beneath you.
Usually, you were always the one in his position, but you felt a power youâd never experienced. You wanted to be in control tonight; you wanted to make this so good for Eddie, your sweet Eddie with a monster cock.
Eddie jerked his hips up, and your pussy clenched. âOh fuck!â Eddie cried as your muscles contracted around him. This was it; nothing could ever be better than this right now.
âYou feel that honey? How tight my wet warm pussy is for you?â You start to bounce, and Eddie, stood, corrected.
He tried to hold on as your tits started bouncing in his face as you worked yourself up and down on his cock.
âTouch me,â you panted.
Eddie didnât need to be told twice. His hands snapped up to your hips gripping you tightly before he ran them up to your swollen breasts.
You throw your head back as Eddie pinches your nipples, exposing your neck. Eddie acts on instinct, wanting to ravage you, he sits up and latches his mouth onto your exposed neck, then down your chest to your perked nipples.
âOh baby,â you cry at the sudden movement beneath you. The new angel only sank his cock deeper into your cunt. He was filling you so good, youâve never felt this full.
âCan I - can we switch?â Eddie canât take it he needs to fuck you, like really fuck you.
âYes,â you were completely fucked out.
You let out a squeak as Eddie man handles you to be underneath him. He wastes no time pounding back into you the second your back hits the mattress. His sting hands are gripping your hips so hard youâre sure there will be finger shaped bruises. He nearly took your breath away as his hips snapped into your dripping pussy, your walls pulsed around him as his cock grazed that sweet spot that is deep, deep inside.
âOH EDDIEâ you scream, eyes rolling back into your head.
It was music to Eddieâs ears. He wasnât going to last much longer. He needed you to finish. He suddenly remembered the advice you gave him minutes before. His hand grazed down your body to your clit.
His touch sent a zap of pleasure through your core, only making your pussy tighten even more. His fingers worked your pussy slowly, a contrast from how fast he was thrusting into you.
Moans of ecstasy escaped your throat as your brain shut off. You were no longer in control; it was all Eddie.
âBaby, you still with me?â He coos in your ear.
âFuck Eddie, donât stop! Iâm going to cum!â You wrap your legs around Eddie to pull him closer to you, not that it was possible. You wanted him buried inside of you forever.
âCome on, baby, come for me.â
You broke at his words. Your orgasm ripped through you as he worked his cock through your tight grip. Eddie broke as soon as you did no way he could hold on any longer.
A loud roar rips out of his chest as his seed spurts out of him into the condom that is buried deep inside of you.
âFuck me, you sure that was your first time?â You giggle, still totally fucked out.
âYep, guess you can say Iâm a natural sex god.â his ego was definitely boosted.
âMmmhmmmmm,â you nod in agreement. Rolling over to wrap a bare leg around his body.
Eddie couldnât believe his life could be this sweet. He wrapped his arms around you and fell asleep with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
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#Eddie Munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#virgin!eddie munson#virgin!eddie munson x reader#sub!eddie Munson#sub!eddie Munson x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson angst#Eddie Munson fluff
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video games . jason todd x reader. ➌ àŁȘ âż â they say that the world was built for two. â
âȘ in which. â« after half a decade of years of therapy, tears, and the seemingly never-ending loop of the five stages of grief, you've finally been able to claw your way past the death of your best friend. but one wish on a burning candle on a lonely, rainy night changes everything.
➌ àŁȘ âż đđđđđđđđ. mentions of blood, angst, dogshit writing. ➌ àŁȘ âż đđđđđđđđđ
đđ. @di-lucss. ➌ àŁȘ âż đđđđ
đđđđđ. 1.7k. ➌ àŁȘ âż đđđđ. @di-lucss, @ephemerensis, @dollishmehrayan, @aangelinakii. ➌ àŁȘ âż đđđđđđđđ'đ đđđđđđ. please make this pull a jason and blow up đđ also take note that there's like three different years that jason was born in order for me to determine when he died so i had to spin around in the dark and throw a dart and a random year. said year was 1990 so he died in 2005. reader has a february birthday for plot reasons. don't like it? don't read.


â â â â â â â â "đithout music, life would be a blank to me. you're my music. happy sweet sixteen." read the inside of your old, worn copy of jane austen's emma. scrawled in black pen was a little, poorly drawn but albeit sweet doodle of toad and toadette from mario kart sitting on opposite ends of a cake. you'd dubbed him as toad when you were little due to his last name. underneath, in smaller script, "for my favorite parasite. enjoy. love, jason."
your eyes glistened with tears as you looked at the dateâ february 7th, 2005. when you had turned sixteen, you'd tackled your best friend so hard in a hug that he fell over and landed on the grass. his sixteenth wouldn't come until august, but you already had a book chosen out. what you didn't know is that that same book would still be lodged among your collection of books in four years, because in just over two months, he'd be beaten half to death and let an exploding warehouse finish the job.
jason always liked to go out with a bang.
of course, you hadn't known that. you hadn't known that he'd gone on patrol as batman's sidekick, like he had for years without you knowing. it wasn't until an older gentleman approached you at the funeral and pressed a sharp ended pin shaped like an 'R' into your palm.
you'd renovated after he died. in this economy, you couldn't afford a new apartment other than the one you lived in when you were younger. with your father out of the picture and your mother sent to rehab just barely a year after jason's death, you'd doubled down and redid the entire thing yourself, erasing every trace of your teenaged self from every nook, cranny, and crevice. there were too many memories of jason in the wallsâ the two broken coat hangers where he'd tried to do a pull-up, the two handprints in red and blue paint on the wall after your first playdate in second grade, and that old guitar with two missing strings that he carved your initials into. gone, gone, gone.
you'd never forgiven him. for lying. for being so reckless. for leaving you. leaving you alone underneath that weeping willow wondering why he hadn't showed.
you brushed your fingers against jason's five year old handwriting, the last trace you had of him. the warm glow of your candle stabbed into your cupcake illuminated the pages. today marked your fourth birthday without jason, four years of that fifty dollar, leather bound copy of pride and prejudice, the one that you spent five months of allowance saving up for. you've never read it, never touched a copy of pride and prejudice again because all you could hear was his voice reading the words.
i wish you were here, jay, you thought to yourself as a puff of air left your lips as you blew out the candle. wisps of smoke curled off the wick and brushed over the first pages of emma. tears brimmed in your eyes as you caught a glimpse of his messy script again. i miss you.
you curled your legs up to your chest and rested your chin on your knees. you let yourself cry, tears trickling down your cheeks.
just then, you heard the window open and your plate beneath your cupcake vibrated as heavy footsteps hit the floor. the groan of a man echoed through your apartment and the sound of something large hitting your wall.
you flinched, your palms pressed against the table. your lights were off and your candle was out, the spark on the wick fading quickly. you inhaled sharply then clamped a hand over your mouth. you stood up and grabbed the quickest weapon you could findâ your old, faulty lighter. you walked silently towards the sound.
you heard another rustle and the sound of bottles knocking against each other. the sound was hollow and echoed through your apartmentâ it was the sound of metal bouncing off tile. your bathroom. your socks quieted your steps as you made your way there. the door is ajar, and you can hear labored breathing slipping through crack in the door. the noise and the bright alabaster light made it look like god himself was speaking to you in tongues.
you nudge the door with your lighter, the harsh light making your vision go fuzzy for a moment before your eyes adjust. your hand goes slack.
"oh my god."
there's blood on your bathtub, your first aid kit is scattered all over the place, and there are muddy boot prints all over your tiled floor a masked head looks up at you and you make dead eye contact with none other than red hood sitting on the edge of your bathtub, a hand stained as red as his suit clamped over his abdomen.
"hey," red hood said, entirely too calm for the fact that a) he had just broken into your home, and b) there was a hole in his stomach.
"hello," you blurted out.
a beat of silence passes, "i'm bleeding," the masked man offered.
"i... can see that," you said. you slowly reached for a bottle of hairspray, your trembling fingers clutching around the bottle as you subtly angled the end of the lighter to the nozzle of the hairspray can.
"please don't set me on fire," red hood said gruffly. you lowered your lighter slowly.
"why are you here?" you asked, voice thick with the disbelief that was still choking you. "how did you evenâ" you cut yourself off, your eyes shifting nervously to the window, the glass still open. your apartment was on the third floor. he had a stab wound. how had he gotten in?
"i'm really not in the mood for twenty questions," he muttered, sucking in a sharp breath as he shifted his weight.
in reality, jason remembered your exact address from his old life, his old life with you in it, where he would scramble up the rusted ladder and run along the ledges to reach your bathroom window. it was muscle memory for him to go to your apartment, he hadn't even considered that maybe other people lived hear or they'd taken down that old ladder because it was a hazard.
"can you just... do the thing where you help me before i bleed out all over your bathroom?" he asked, and you blinked.
"i... i'm not qualified," you said.
"of course you're not," he grumbled, and you stiffened. red hood motioned to his wound still gushing blood in between his fingers. "look, do i look qualified? no. am i still patching myself up? yes."
"i could care less if you lived or died," you said coldly.
he went silent. you couldn't see, but he bit his cheek and forced down the lump in his throat. he knew that you didn't know that he had died, that he was the one person that you cared about. the singular organism on this planet with a beating heart and flowing blood and breathing lungs that had let those three things shut down and allowed himself to leave you forever.
you cared about jason todd. not red hood. and the only thing for your birthday was for him to stumble through your window like he used to, his clothes smelling like nicotine and his monster energy breath wafting through your tiny apartment. something had climbed through your window that night, but it wasn't your best friend, your jason, your toad. because he was gone and no matter how hard you wished, he wasn't coming back.
"clean up," you quipped, motioning at the mixture of crimson blood and mud caking onto your tile. "grab some food and go be on your merry way."
red hood gave you a thumbs up and you turned on your heel and went back to the kitchen table. your candle had melted. there was wax in your icing.
tears welled up in your eyes. you furiously wiped them away, the sleeve of your sweater burning the puffy skin around your eyes but you didn't care. while you didn't give two shits about red hood, he was still a dangerous individual and was bleeding out in your bathroom. you didn't want him thinking you were weak or see you crying over a copy of emma and potentially digging up things on your personal life.
you put your head down and feels like hours have passed before red hood comes out of the bathroom. you heard the refrigerator open and the sound of containers being rustled around before the door shut and you heard your window slide open.
words danced on the tip of jason's tongue, trapped between his lips and the mask. words like i'm sorry or it's me, jason or any of the thousand inside jokes that had been trapped in his mind and guarded by the lazarus pit that had been sure to engrave it in his brain. his memories of you were still muddled but were all the same, like the layers of a 3d movie or the text on the rosetta stone.
he noticed the cupcake. and the book. that book. emma.
the scent of smoke lingered in the air, slipping between the sweat building up in his hood and the scent of gasoline that clung to his uniform. "happy birthday," he said, one leg hanging out the window.
silence. "how'd you know?" you asked after a moment, your voice hollow.
"you wanted something, and didn't get it," he guessed. jason recognized your flushed cheeks and moodiness when something went wrong. when you were little, you'd throw tantrums.
"i'm not four." you retorted.
"yeah, so live a little," he said. "how often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!"
you'd heard that line before. "wait, did you justâ"
the rest of your words came out as a breath as you looked behind you to see red hood gone, the only trace of his presence being the lingering scent of nicotine. your lips parted, hoping the rest of your sentence would spill out, but it didn't.
jane austen wrote that surprises are foolish things. the pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. as you cleaned your floor of red hood's boot prints and had to make an extra grocery run for the amount of food that he'd taken, you might've agreed with it.
but the red annotation on page 182 and the note on your bulletin board reminding you to do something spontaneous said otherwise.
© dulcet-aurora 2025.
#caroline writes â âč â#âȘ dulcet-aurora â« æ ➌ àŁȘ âż#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd x you#batboys#batfam#dc#dc comics#dc x reader
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Happy ending
Suggestive workplace romance working with the national team and your crush Ushijima, for my workplace romance event <3
requested by @cheesypuffkins87. word count; 595 â gn!reader
Your hands traced every single curve of muscle on Ushijimaâs body, letting the oil heat up under your hands as calm music played over the speakers. You could feel his breaths as he relaxed, finding the muscle he had noted before and carefully loosening the knot.
Being a masseuse for Japanâs national team at the Olympics was tough work. From Atsumu asking you to rate his thighs to Yaku never laying still because he seemingly thought he was there for a therapy session to Bokutoâs knee-jerk reactions leading to a few bruises, you were in for a tough time already.
Asking Ushijima to turn around on his back, you turned around to the wall to let him adjust the towel properly before telling you he was ready again. You worked up his arms, kneading his bicep expertly when your eyes flickered up to see he was looking at you. âHow are the games going?â you asked softly.
âWe lost the last one.â
âThatâs too bad,â you cooed, not thinking much of it and moving on to his chest and down his torso with light strokes.
âMay I ask you for something?â he asked, the deep voice feeling like it vibrated in his chest under your hands.
âOf course, any pains?â You straightened up and rolled your shoulders after bending over him, meanwhile rubbing your hands together to ensure they stayed warm.
âDo you do happy endings?â
Flashback to the night before, when Ushijima told Tendo about his teamâs hot masseuse on the phone. Tendo, ever the silly goose, had suggested Ushijima ask you for a happy ending. When he asked what that was, his red-headed best friend explained it was a way to invite your masseuse out on a date.
Your cheeks were even warmer than the oils on his body as you avoided eye contact. âI am sorry, Ushijima, but doing something like that could cost me my job.â
Ushijimaâs eyebrows furrowed slightly and he sat up. âYou can not go on dates? Surely there must be someone I can talk to about this because I have thought about it a lot.â
You pursed your lips, taking about three sharp breaths attempting to think up a response. âDates?â
âIs that not what a happy ending means?â
Resting one hand on his knee and suddenly feeling very aware that he was naked, you decided the best place to look was actually his eyes. âItâs when you finish a massage with⊠oral⊠sex.â
Ushijimaâs jaw fell slightly, which was a first. âI am so sorry, I thought it meant something else.â
âWould you like to go on a date?â you asked, a bit shy as you carefully pushed his chest for him to lay back and let you continue the massage.
âYes, that is what I wanted to ask you.â Despite the embarrassment behind it, you enjoyed seeing his red cheeks.
âLetâs go for dinner tomorrow, then.â You started massaging his thighs, doing your best not to smile too wide while focusing on your job.
âMaybe that could have a happy ending,â he said, and it seemed like a thought that slipped past his lips as he immediately apologised. âMy apologies, that was inappropriate.â
You let one of your hands travel upwards, lightly chewing your lip as your fingertips slipped just under the towel that covered his crotch before you kept going down his leg as normal. âWeâll see.â
Letâs just say your love story did have a happy ending when the Olympics came to an end and your job would not be at risk anymore.
masterlist
/thank you @cottonlemonade for developing this idea with me<3
#workplace romance#haikyu#haikyuu#haikyu x reader#hq x reader#fanfiction#haikyuu x you#hq#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyu fluff#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima x reader#haikyuu ushijima#hq ushijima#tendou satori#ushijima#ushijima suggestive#suggestive#ushijima x you#ushijima x y/n
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AGAINST THE TIDE: PART SIX
paige x azzi
word count: 4.7k
A/N: This is just a cute little chapter to show how much their dynamic has grown/changed. There will be a few time jumps after this because weâll never get anywhere otherwise đ. I love all the live reactions and comments Iâve been getting, theyâre actually hilarious.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
After spending the night in Paigeâs room, the two of them got impossibly closer. When they woke up the next morning, Paige invited Azzi to tag along to her physical therapy session. Azzi of course agreed, and from that moment on, they spent every waking hour together for the rest of the short winter break. Whether it was in rehab, watching movies in Paigeâs room, or going out for a sweet treat in the middle of the night at Azziâs request, they became inseparable.
When they returned to UConn after Christmas, it was the exact same. It was rare to see one without the other. Both of them were sidelined with injuries, which only gave them more excuses to stay close. During games, they sat on the bench together, Paige talking Azziâs ear off about strategy, stats, and whatever random thoughts crossed her mind. Azzi didnât mind; she found Paigeâs rambling endearing, even when it meant missing part of the game on the court.
Off the bench, they poured themselves into helping the team however they could. They watched hours of film together, analyzing plays and finding ways to improve their teammatesâ performance with so many of them sidelined with injuries. Huddled around a laptop in the locker room or sprawled out on the floor of Paigeâs dorm, their heads often ended up leaning close enough that their shoulders brushed. Neither pulled away.
Neither of them brought up the new dynamic between them. It was like there was a silent agreement to ignore the feelings simmering just beneath the surface. They told themselves it was easier this way, to focus on recovery and basketball. But the excuses only went so far.
Their stolen glances during film sessions lasted a second too long. The casual touchesâPaige nudging Azziâs knee when she made a good point, or Azzi grabbing Paigeâs forearm to drag her somewhere or emphasize her own thoughtsâleft feelings between both of them. Paigeâs heart raced every time Azziâs hand lingered on hers, while Azzi found herself melting into a puddle by the way Paigeâs voice softened when they were alone. A softness she only seemed to have for Azzi.
Still, they stayed in the safe lane of âfriendshipâ burying their feelings beneath layers of banter and shared routines. To them that seemed to work but to anyone else looking at their dynamic it definitely seemed like they were in a relationship. The two of them basically teased and flirted with one another nonstop.
January 2022
Today was no different. They were currently on the road, heading back to Connecticut after taking a quick trip to see Paigeâs surgeon for her check-up. The car was quiet except for the hum of the engine and the faint sound of music playing from the speakers. Paige was driving, her hands relaxed on the wheel, and Azzi was trying her best to focus on anything but her.
It wasnât easy. Azzi wasnât used to seeing Paige behind the wheelâusually, she was the passenger, sprawled out and carefree. But now that Paige could drive she insisted on doing it every time and Azzi could never stop glancing over at her. The way Paigeâs jawline looked when she would clinch it at someone doing something stupid in front of her, the subtle furrow of her brow as she concentrated on the road, or, worst of all, the way her long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles flexing slightly.
Azzi swallowed hard, her thoughts wandering somewhere they absolutely shouldnât be. She blinked, forcing herself to look straight ahead, but her gaze betrayed her almost immediately, drifting back to the blonde.
Paige caught her. She glanced over, catching Azziâs lingering stare, and a slow smirk spread across her face. âWhat?â Paige asked, her voice laced with amusement.
Azzi groaned at being caught, throwing her head back against the seat. âStop driving like that.â
Paige laughed, the sound warm and teasing as she gave her a quick side glance. âLike what, Azzi?â
Azzi waved her arms in Paigeâs direction, clearly flustered. âLike that! You know what youâre doing.â
Paige grinned wider, unable to hide how much she was enjoying this. âIâm literally just driving. Youâre the one making it weird.â
Azzi let out a frustrated noise, crossing her arms and slouching slightly in her seat. âNo, youâre doing something. I donât know what, but itâs distracting.â
Paige chuckled, shifting her grip on the wheelâwhether to mess with Azzi or just to adjust, Azzi couldnât tell, but it didnât help. âWell, I hate to break it to you, but this is how I always drive. Guess youâll just have to deal with it.â
Azzi shot her a glare but couldnât suppress the small smile tugging at her lips. âYouâre so annoying, you know that?â
Paige glanced over briefly, her smirk softening into something more playful. âYeah, but you clearly like it.â
Azzi huffed, turning her gaze out the window to avoid giving Paige the satisfaction of seeing her flustered. But her resolve didnât last long. Her eyes betrayed her, flickering back to Paigeâs hands on the steering wheel. The way her fingers flexed just slightly, the grip firm and sureâit was ridiculous how something so mundane could have Azziâs thoughts spiraling.
Paige caught her again, and her smirk deepened. âAre you seriously doing it again dude?â
Azzi groaned, slouching in her seat. âOh my God, stop.â
âStop what?â Paige asked innocently, purposefully shifting her grip on the wheel, her fingers flexing just a little more dramatically this time.
Azzi covered her face with her hands, her voice muffled as she muttered, âI hate you so much.â
Paige laughed, the sound light and teasing. âNo, you donât.â She shifted her hands again, dragging the moment out, clearly enjoying Azziâs growing frustration.
âPaige,â Azzi warned, her voice low, though it lacked any real bite.
âWhat?â Paige asked, feigning innocence as she glanced over at her. âIâm just driving.â
Azzi groaned, leaning back in her seat. âOh my God, just stop. Why do you even drive like that?â
âLike what?â Paige asked innocently.
Azzi let out a frustrated noise and covered her face with her hands. âYouâre doing it on purpose now. I know you are.â
Paige chuckled, her laugh warm and teasing. âMaybe.â She then switched driving hands as she dropped her right hand from the wheel, letting it fall casually onto Azziâs leg.
Azzi froze, her breath hitching as Paigeâs fingers rested just above her knee, her touch light but deliberate. Her wide eyes snapped to Paige, who kept her gaze firmly on the road, her smirk now bordering on a full grin.
âWhat are you doing?â Azzi demanded, her voice higher than she intended.
Paige shrugged, her tone casual. âNothing. Just resting my hand. Relax.â
Azziâs hands shot up in disbelief, gesturing toward the offending hand on her leg. âRelax? Are you kidding me? Move your hand before you crash!â
Paige laughed, giving her thigh the faintest squeeze before replying, âIâm not gonna crash from touching your leg, Azzi. Chill.â
Azzi groaned, squeezing her eyes shut for a second before snapping, âFine! Move it before I lose my mind.â
Paigeâs laugh deepened as she finally slid her hand back to the wheel. âYouâre so easy to mess with.â
Azzi groaned, slumping into her seat and covering her face again. âI hate you. I actually hate you.â
âNo, you donât,â Paige replied, glancing over with a playful glint in her eye. âAdmit it, you like when I mess with you.â
Azzi huffed but couldnât suppress the warmth spreading across her faceâor the tiny smile tugging at her lips. âYouâre ridiculous, you know that?â
Paige smirked, her confidence only growing. âIâm not the one having a heart attack over getting their leg touched.â
Azzi glared at her but couldnât fight the laugh bubbling out. She shook her head, muttering under her breath. âIâm going to lose my mind before we get back to Connecticut.â
Paige glanced at her again, the teasing replaced with something softer, though her smirk lingered. âWouldnât have it any other way,â she murmured, her voice quieter but no less bold.
Azzi bit her lip, forcing herself to look out the window again, but she couldnât hide the way her cheeks burnedâor the way her heart raced whenever Paige pushed her buttons just like this.
âŠ
The teasing had died down as the miles stretched on, replaced by a comfortable silence. Azzi was staring out the window, watching the trees blur past, but her mind was thinking about any and everything related to the girl sitting next to her. She glanced at Paige, her jaw set in quiet concentration as she navigated the highway. Finally, Azzi broke the silence.
âCan I ask you something?â
Paige raised an eyebrow, glancing over briefly. âYeah, of course.â
Azzi hesitated, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. âWhy did everyone used to be so worried about you? I remember hearing stuff, but no one really explained. And when I started going with you it was never that bad so whyâd they make it such a big deal before?â
Paigeâs hands tightened slightly on the wheel. She let out a slow breath, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. âThatâs... kind of a long-ish story.â
Azzi turned toward her, leaning slightly against the door. âWeâve got time.â Her voice was soft, no pressure, just genuine curiosity.
Paige laughed lightly, though there wasnât much humor in it. âOkay, but you canât freak out, it was a long time ago, alright?â
Azzi frowned but nodded. âAlright.â
Paige shifted in her seat, adjusting her grip on the wheel. âIt was after the Final Four. A couple of weeks after we lost. I just... wasnât in a good place. I blamed myself for everythingâevery missed shot, every mistake. It felt like I let everyone down. So, I did what I always do. I locked myself in the gym.â
Azziâs brow furrowed. âFor how long?â
Paige shrugged like it wasnât a big deal. âA couple of days, maybe?I didnât realize I wasnât really eating or drinking water. Just working out, watching film, shooting until I couldnât stand anymore.â She gave a small, self-deprecating laugh. âLiterally.â
Azziâs stomach twisted. âWhat do you mean?â
âEvina found me passed out,â Paige admitted quietly, her voice almost lost under the hum of the car. âIt was just dehydration and not eating enough, nothing serious. But after that, everyone started treating me like I was fragile or something.â
Azzi stared at her, the air catching in her throat. âPaige...â
âIt wasnât a big deal,â Paige said quickly, waving it off. âDehydration, low blood sugarânothing serious.â
âThat is serious,â Azzi countered, her tone sharp with concern.
Paige shrugged, a faint bitterness in her smile. âMaybe. But at the time, it felt like I deserved it, you know? I wasnât happy, Az. Not with basketball, not with myself. I basically hated myself. It was like... no matter how much time I spent in the gym, it didnât make up for how I felt. I just wanted to work hard enough to forget, but instead, I ended up running myself into the ground.â
Azziâs brow furrowed as she processed Paigeâs words. âWhy didnât you tell anyone?â
Paige let out a soft laugh. âWho? Tell them what? That I couldnât handle the pressure? That I felt like a failure? Everyone was looking at me to bounce back, to lead, to be Paige Bueckers. I couldnât let them see me crack.â She paused, her voice barely above a whisper. âI felt so alone. Like no one understood what I was going through. So I didnât talk to anyone and just spent my days in the gym.â
Azziâs chest tightened. âPaige, thatâs... I donât even know what to say. I canât believe you went through all of that by yourself.â
âI didnât really have a choice,â Paige murmured. âItâs not exactly the kind of thing you can just explain to people.â
Azzi opened her mouth to respond, but Paige spoke first. âMy kneeâs starting to ache a little.â She glanced at Azzi, her tone lighter but her eyes searching. âThereâs a diner at the next exit. Letâs stop for a bit.â
Azzi frowned slightly, sensing something beneath the excuse, but nodded. âYeah, okay. You sure youâre good?â
âYeah,â Paige said, her lips curving into a faint smile. âI just... want to sit for a bit. And, you know, look at you while we talk instead of staring at the road.â
Azzi felt her cheeks warm at the admission but said nothing as Paige took the exit.
Once they were seated in a quiet booth at the corner of the diner, Azzi finally spoke. âI didnât know it was that bad for you.â
Paige stirred her water with her straw, her expression contemplative. âI didnât either, not at first. I thought I could handle it. But looking back... I was just running from how I felt.â She glanced up at Azzi, her eyes soft. âYou know what I mean?â
Azzi nodded slowly. âYes actually. When I tore my ACL, I thought my career was over. I didnât want to get out of bed, let alone go to rehab. My parents practically had to drag me out of the house some days and force me to shower. I felt like Iâd never be the same player again, like I let everyone down. It was... dark for a while.â
Paige leaned forward to let Azzi know she was listening. âHow did you get through it?â
Azzi shrugged. âTime, mostly. And people not giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself. But itâs still hard, you know? Some days, it still feels like the worldâs too heavy to carry.â
Paige nodded, her gaze steady on Azzi. âYeah. I get that.â
They fell into a comfortable silence, the kind where neither of them felt the need to fill the space. Paige finally broke it with a soft laugh. âYouâre really easy to talk to, you know that?â
Azzi smiled, her eyes warm. âSo are you.â
As they sat there, the hum of the diner around them, Paige felt a strange sense of peace settle over her.
The conversation deepened as they sat in the quiet corner of the diner, their voices low but steady. Paige found herself opening up about things she hadnât thought about in years, things sheâd never told anyone elseâher childhood, her family, the moments that shaped her love for basketball. Azzi listened intently, chiming in with her own stories. They talked for hours and didnât even notice.
âYou were a troublemaker as a kid, huh?â Paige teased, leaning back in the booth.
Azzi grinned. âNot trouble, exactly. I just had... energy. My mom says I never sat still, which is probably why sports were the only thing that worked for me.â
Paige smirked. âExplains a lot.â
Azzi nudged her foot under the table. âAnd you? Let me guessâperfect student, teacherâs pet, MVP of the kickball team?â
Paige chuckled. âSomething like that. I always wanted to be the best at everything, even if it didnât matter. Like, who cares if youâre the fastest at spelling quizzes?â
âApparently you did,â Azzi teased, her smile softening. âThat competitive streak mustâve made you fun to grow up with.â
Paige shrugged, her tone turning reflective. âIt was a lot of pressure, though. Some of it I put on myself, but a lot came from... expectations. Like, if I wasnât the best, what was the point?â
Azzi nodded in understanding. âI get that. I think thatâs why I struggled so much after my injury. For so long, basketball was who I was. When I couldnât play, it felt like I didnât know myself anymore. I didnât know what to do day in and day out.â
Paige reached across the table, her fingers brushing Azziâs hand briefly before she pulled back. âIâm really glad you didnât give up.â
Azziâs eyes softened. âMe too.â
Their waiter approached, setting down Azziâs dessertâa large slice of chocolate cake with a swirl of whipped cream on top. Paige shook her head, laughing softly. âOf course youâd order that.â
Azzi picked up her fork with a grin. âWhat can I say? Iâm predictable.â She took a bite, humming in satisfaction before holding a forkful out toward Paige. âHere, try it.â
Paige wrinkled her nose. âYouâre always trying to get me to eat sugar.â
âBecause itâs not as fun when I have to eat it by myself,â Azzi shot back, waving the fork in front of her. âCâmon, just one bite. Itâs really good.â
Paige sighed dramatically but leaned forward, letting Azzi feed her the bite of cake. She chewed, her face carefully neutral before finally swallowing. âOkay, fine. Itâs good.â
Azzi smirked, leaning back triumphantly. âTold you.â
When the check came, Paige didnât give Azzi a chance to reach for her wallet. She slid her card into the leather folder and handed it to the waiter without a word.
Azzi arched a brow. âYou never even let me try to pay for anything.â
Paige shrugged, standing up and grabbing her coat. âYouâll get the next one.â
âNext one?â Azzi echoed, a teasing lilt in her voice.
Paige glanced over her shoulder. âUnless this is the last road trip we ever take together?â
Azzi shook her head, laughing as they headed back to the car. The air outside was crisp, but Paige felt warm, the lingering glow of their conversation following her as she slid into the driverâs seat.
Azzi settled in beside her, glancing over as Paige started the engine. âYou know,â she said softly, âI like this.â
Paige glanced at her. âWhat?â
âThis,â Azzi said, gesturing between them. âWhatever this is. Us just... being.â
Paige smiled, her heart full in a way she couldnât quite put into words. âYeah. Me too.â
âŠ
By the time they pulled into the parking lot in Connecticut, the car was silent except for the low hum of the engine. Azzi was sound asleep, her head resting gently against the window, her breaths slow and even. Paige turned off the car and let herself sit for a moment, her eyes drifting over to Azzi. She took in the way the soft moonlight highlighted her features, her peaceful expression making Paigeâs chest tighten.
Paige smiled to herself, leaning back in her seat. âYouâre so beautiful,â she whispered under her breath, the words barely audible.
Reaching out, Paige gently ran her hand down the side of Azziâs face, her fingers brushing her cheek lightly. The touch caused Azzi to stir, her brows furrowing as she slowly blinked awake.
âHey,â Paige said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. âWeâre back.â
Azzi stretched slightly, her movements sluggish as she tried to wake herself up. Eventually Paige stepped out of the car, walking around to Azziâs door. She opened it, leaning in with a teasing smile. âCome on before I carry you.â
Azzi snorted, her voice still thick with sleep. âPaige, you canât carry me.â
Paige scoffed, a mischievous glint sparking in her eyes. âOh, really?â
Before Azzi could protest, Paige slid one arm under her legs and the other behind her back, lifting her out of the car with surprising ease. Azzi squealed, grabbing onto Paigeâs shoulders. âPut me down!â she yelped, her voice pitching higher than usual.
Paige grinned, clearly enjoying herself. âWhatâs wrong? I thought you said I couldnât carry you.â
âPaige, your knee!â Azzi scolded, trying to sound serious but failing as laughter bubbled out. âYou just got cleared to play againâdonât go ruining it!â
Paige hummed in thought at the mention of being cleared to play. âHmm...â
âNo,â Azzi interrupted, narrowing her eyes even as she laughed.
âPleaseee?â Paige said, dragging the word out dramatically, her smile widening as she put Azzi down gently onto the pavement.
Azzi groaned, but there was no real annoyance in it. âYouâre literally insane,â she muttered, already knowing where this was heading.
âCome on Az please,â Paige pressed, her tone playful but pleading.
Azzi sighed, finally relenting. âFine,â she said, shaking her head. âBut youâre getting my shoes.â
Paigeâs face lit up like sheâd won a championship. âDeal!â
Azzi chuckled, turning back toward the car to get back in the passenger seat. âYouâre lucky Iâm too tired to fight you on this.â
Paige didnât respond, already jogging toward the suite with a bounce in her step. âIâll be right back!â she called over her shoulder.
Azzi shook her head, smiling despite herself. âSheâs gonna be the death of me,â she muttered, getting back in the car as Paige ran inside to grab their basketball shoes, her energy contagious even in the middle of the night.
âŠ
If Azzi didnât know any better, sheâd think Paige was on something. The blonde had been in the gym for hours, bouncing off the walls with energy, clearly ecstatic to be freely shooting a basketball againâeven if she wasnât cleared for contact.
Azzi, on the other hand, was drained. Sheâd given up about thirty minutes ago, peeling off her basketball shoes and resigning herself to sitting on the floor, watching Paigeâs every move. She leaned back on her hands, her chest rising and falling steadily as she caught her breath. Her eyes following Paige darting around the court, making shot after shot, her smile brighter than the overhead light they had turned on.
Eventually, Paige bounded over to her and, without warning, dramatically sprawled across Azziâs lap, her sweaty body pressing against Azziâs.
Azzi groaned, trying for annoyance but failing as her lips curved into a small smile. âEw, Paige, youâre sweaty.â She didnât, however, make any effort to push her off.
Paige grinned up at her, clearly unbothered. âAlright, I think Iâm done.â
Azzi raised an eyebrow, feigning shock. âOh wow, it only took three hours. Truly a miracle.â
Paige laughed softly, her smile warm and unguarded as she looked up at Azzi. Something in her expression softened, and for a moment, the only sound was their steady breathing.
Azzi hesitated, her chest tightening as she gazed down at Paige. She reached out instinctively, brushing a strand of sweaty hair out of Paigeâs face. Her fingers lingered for a second before she spoke, her voice quiet and a little shaky. âI really love your eyes.â
Paige blinked as her cheeks flushed faintly as her grin softened into something more genuine. âI love your smile,â she murmured, her voice steady but low, like it was meant just for Azzi.
They stared at each other for a long moment, the air between them hung with unspoken emotions. Paigeâs expression was completely open, her gaze searching Azziâs as if she were trying to commit every detail of her face to memory.
The closeness sent Azziâs heart racing, the feeling so intense it almost overwhelmed her. So she quickly pushed Paige off her lap and stood up, clearing her throat. âCome on,â she said, trying to mask the flustered edge in her voice.
Paige smiled to herself as she got up and followed Azzi. But instead of heading toward the gymâs front doors and her car, she grabbed Azziâs hand, intertwining their fingers and tugging her in the opposite direction.
Azzi groaned lightly, though she didnât pull away. âWhere are we going now, Paige?â
Paige glanced back, her grin teasing.
âWeâre gonna watch the sunrise.â
Azzi stopped complaining immediately, her curiosity piqued as Paige led her to the elevator.
When they reached the rooftop, the early morning air hit them, but Azzi immediately vetoed going outside. âNo youâre gonna get us sick,â she scolded. âWeâre sweaty, and itâs freezing.â
Paige laughed but didnât argue, following Azzi to a spot by the glass windows that offered a perfect view of the sky. They sat down side by side, the first light of dawn spilling through the panes and casting a soft glow over them.
Azzi rested her head on Paigeâs shoulder, her body relaxing into the blonde. She reached for Paigeâs hand, her fingers lightly playing with Paigeâs in an absentminded gesture that felt far more intimate than either of them acknowledged.
They watched in silence as the sky gradually brightened, the world slowly coming alive with shades of pink, purple, and gold.
Paige turned her head slightly, resting her cheek against Azziâs hair. âThanks for coming with me today,â she said softly, her voice low and sincere.
Azzi tilted her head up to meet Paigeâs gaze, her lips curving into a small smile. âAlways.â
They stayed like that, wrapped in the quiet comfort of each otherâs presence, letting the moment stretch until the sun fully broke the horizon, casting its warm light over them.
Eventually, as the last traces of night faded and the sun rose higher into the sky, Paige sighed and stretched. âWell, I guess we should go finally get some sleep.â
Azzi agreed, lifting her head off Paigeâs shoulder and standing up. Paige followed suit, and the two of them walked back toward the elevator, hands still lingering together.
Once they were back in the car, the drive to Paigeâs dorm was quiet, the peacefulness of the morning lingering between them. By the time they arrived, the exhaustion from their trip hit them all at once.
They both took quick showers, Azzi finding herself some clothes in Paigeâs drawer while Paige showered.
Paige slumped onto her bed, pulling the covers up. Azzi followed suit, crawling under the blankets next to her.
As the lights went off, the silence of the room filled with the soft sounds of their breathing. Despite the exhaustion, neither of them wanted to drift off just yet. They exchanged a glance, a small smile shared between them, as they settled into the warmth of the bed.
"Goodnight, Az," Paige whispered, her voice gentle but filled with something deeper, something unspoken.
Azzi smiled softly, closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Paige."
âŠ
A week or so later, Paige was sitting in the training room, her legs stretched out on the bench as she scrolled through her phone. Her lips curled into a smile, her eyes lighting up as she read whatever was on her screen.
Evina, who was seated across from her, noticed immediately and let out a laugh. âWhatâs got you all smiley over there?â
Paige glanced up, caught off guard but unable to wipe the grin off her face. âItâs nothing,â she said, her tone too casual to be convincing. She glanced back at her phone before quickly adding, âAzzi just sent me something. Sheâs on her way now.â
Evina raised an eyebrow, her smirk widening. Sheâd been waiting for an opening like this. âSpeaking of Azzi, whatâs going on with you two?â
Paige froze, her fingers halting mid-scroll. âWhat do you mean?â she asked, feigning ignorance, but the blush creeping up her cheeks betrayed her.
Evina leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she gave Paige a knowing look. âCome on, Paige. You two are pretty close now. Like, real close.â
Paige let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head. âNah, sheâs just like... my best friend now,â she said, her voice a little too quick and defensive.
Evina wasnât buying it. She tilted her head, her expression skeptical. âPaige, be fucking for real,â she said, her tone teasing but firm.
Before Paige could respond, the door to the training room opened, and Azzi walked in. She headed straight for Paige without hesitation, a warm smile on her face as she leaned down to wrap her arms around the blonde in a quick but affectionate hug.
Paige blushed even deeper under Evinaâs gaze, her hands lingering a second too long on Azziâs back before she pulled away.
Evina smirked, leaning back in her seat with her arms crossed. âWow,â she said, her voice dripping with playful sarcasm. âNo love for Mama E?â
Azzi laughed, the sound light and unbothered, as she turned to Evina. âAlright, alright,â she said, walking over to give her a quick side hug. âYou happy now?â
Evina shook her head with a grin, glancing pointedly between the two of them. âOh, Iâm very happy. This is way better than anything I couldâve imagined.â
Paige groaned, burying her face in her hands, while Azzi, not really knowing the context, just chuckled and perched herself on the bench next to her.
Evina wasnât about to let up, but Paige shot her a pleading look, mouthing, Donât. Evina raised her hands in mock surrender, but the mischievous twinkle in her eye promised this conversation wasnât over.
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This is a little head cannon/What if Macaque had more original powers, a little more Starry Night dreamlike powers leaning into the more nurturing kind, you know, the moon and sun kind of powers? đâïž
Â
Maybe in the past, he was like a therapy friend to Wukong, someone he could really be himself with, vent, and tell his secrets without being judged in the safety of his own dreams. Someone he can truly trust, and that was Macaque.
Skip to Redemption Ark for Mac
Now he's a therapy friend to the whole MK team! (Against his will) They cuddle, pet, and vent to him with their problems. He's like one of Sandy's therapy cats, just bigger and grumpier.đŸđâš he just has this way with people I guess
Okay, this is how it starts: Macaque and Wukong's first encounter was in a dream.
Wukong would not shut up about the pretty demon in his crazy dreams, often to his sworn brothers; he talked about all the fun and crazy adventures he'd have, the long meaningful conversations and jokes, and the occasionally moving pictures of otherworldly strong magical humans with sparkly eyes and spiky hair who wield giant weapons that shoots Fire called anime, and that this had been going on for a few months now.
This annoyed and concerned them; they think it's a demon trying to take over the Monkey King's mind or trying to brainwash him somehow, so Azure Lion and the Sworn Brothers all brainstormed together to devise a plan to somehow confront this tricky dream demon. Wukong doesn't want the fun dreams to end or scare off this other celestial monkey, so he decides to talk to his friend in his dreams. Wukong casually brings up the idea that the macaque should visit Flower Fruit and meet his sworn brothers! Macaque of course hesitates, not sure of the idea of traveling to an unknown island and meeting The Monkey King's questionable choice of sworn brothers, but of course, Wukong, sad and a bit offended, but he doesn't give up.
He decides to bring upon the Ultimate Weapon, begging and whining until Macaque crumbles and gives in, which eventually does. Mac reluctantly agrees to travel over to FFM in disguise, just to be safe he tells Wukong he'll be there. Within a month, Wukong couldn't be more excited; he was like a little kid waiting for Christmas day!
So this is what kinds of powers I think he should have.
đŽ the first pic is crossing over to other people's dreams and making their experience life-like he has illusion magic so this makes sense to me. Wukong and macaque would prank the Brotherhood or play tags and hide and seek in their brother's dreams. đžThe second pic is the soothing ability to calm one's nerves if they pet or cuddle him like a therapy cat,đ Wukong would groom him for hours to calm his nerves. now come copes with foodđđđ
đžđ¶I saved the best one for last the cute/sad little head Cannon I have
At the end of every dream Mac visits they would end it by dancing to music Mac would bring from the future laughing and stumbling while wukong slowly wakes up, wukong has always gone to bed early But now he goes even earlier to bed. Wukong always thought he was the luckiest monkey in the world he gets to have two Adventure and one of them is with his prettiest best friend Macaque đâšthe monkey of his dreams.
đž Wukong couldn't truly dream of a world without his bestest friendđ„°âš
#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#lmk#sun wukong#six eared macaque#doodle#monkey king#macaque#shadowpeach#third idea of power: creating little stars out of his hands that float around like for his shadow play or a night light for the baby monkey#cute right!?#originally I was going to write a short fanfic about Wukong having nightmares and not being able to sleep because of that Mac notices#and decides to visit Wukong in his dreams#Hong Kong wakes up in his dream within a dream to a beautiful breathtaking flower field and seeing the beautiful sky it looks super Galaxy#and Mac just pops up out of nowhere and tries to start up a conversation#at first he's like cocky and stuff and then he gets little awkward#fumbling with his words and he gets a little bit more flustered wukong is like super confused and surprise to see him here#Mac gives up on trying to talk and just attacks wukong after a while we'll come figures out he's just play fighting they pretty much#just play tag and wukong slowly he gets into it but Mac starts cheating a little bit and this Riles up The Monkey King and they're just#having a blast now and at the end of it they start talking eating a few peaches just joking around it's awkward but it's nice wukongs#grooming him and he's just feeling a whole lot better Mac wants to know what's bothering him but he feels like can wait until Monkey King#Monkey King is ready for that macaque gets up extensive hand to Wukong they try to dance#and they're both terribly out of practice they keep going until they're tumbling and laughing and will come slowly gets up#with a smile on the face and super well-rested all thanks to macaque the monkey of his dreams#seriously if anybody wants to make a fanfic about this you have my full permission I don't know I think you guys can do way better than međ«
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'the newsreader' season 3 and bpd rep
note: major spoilers ahead. trigger warning for mentions of self-harm, suicide, and substance abuse.
you don't see a lot of fictional characters with canonical bpd diagnoses in media. the illness is usually ascribed to one-off villains in crime dramas, or in the case of movies like girl, interrupted (1999), largely romanticized. a recent exception was rebecca bunch from the tv series crazy ex-girlfriend (2015-2019), who embarks on a profound journey from diagnosis through treatment and healing amidst the show's musical backdrop.
when i started watching the newsreader last year, i picked up on a lot of borderline traits in helen norville. i related to her mood swings, her protective measures to prevent abandonment, and her difficulty identifying, describing, or regulating her feelings. from there i sort of decided in my head that she had bpd, without the canon confirmation. this is nothing new for me--as someone with the disorder, i'm always quick to catch these traits and run with them, since i rarely see canonical representation of the illness. over the years, i've "headcanoned" fictional characters like david rose, ed teach, and bojack horseman with bpd, among others.
-
when helen starts seeing a therapist in the first half of the newsreader's final season, the therapist, marcia, recommends that helen take in her surroundings and employ breath work during times of stress. i clocked this right away as a mindfulness DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) skill, but figured given the show's 1989 setting, they probably wouldn't "go there."
but sure enough, i watched helen go to the library, look up her therapist's treatment methods. i saw her burst into marcia's office talking about how the disease is incurable: "it's for manipulative, vindictive, narcissistic, promiscuous, hysterical people. and apparently there's no fŐœcking treatment for it" (3x03). but DBT is an experimental new treatment, marcia says, and it's been met with much success thus far. finally, she says aloud what i'd been thinking: helen meets the criteria for bpd.
helen storms out of the room, tries to escape her reality with alcohol and valium. she's sent out of the newsroom and isolates herself at home. i watched all this unfold onscreen in disbelief, an uneasy lump settling somewhere deep in my stomach because as surprised as i was to see the words--borderline personality disorder--utttered onscreen, i understood, painfully, what helen was going through.
i was diagnosed with borderline in 2018. by that time, i had been exhibiting self-harm behaviors on-and-off since about 2014. i went through periods of extreme, bone-crushing sadness followed by numbness. i oscillated between flippant communications and desperate pleas for validation with those close to me. several textbook characteristics for borderline.
my therapist told me, "don't look it up online," but of course i did, ducking into the office restroom after our session for an immediate google search. i was inundated with exactly the material helen must've seen, if in a different format: bpd is the hardest mental health disorder to treat; many therapists won't even treat folks with bpd; people with bpd are statistically more likely to attempt suicide. there were online listings for a book frustratingly, reductively called i hate you, don't leave me, the only major popularized work on the illness.
these are all things i read on a first-page search many years after the setting of the newsreader. fortunately, a quick search in 2025 looks different, featuring many landing pages on psychiatry websites focused on debunking myths about the illness.
but in 2018, at the age of twenty-five, i thought: this is it for me. it's all fallen into place. i'm broken, i'm broken, i can't be fixed.
-
when helen's former-lover-always-best-friend dale jennings comes to check on helen later on in the episode, what plays out is one of the most beautiful, raw, and validating scenes for someone with the illness to witness.
we watch helen go through the intense back-and-forth of processing her feelings in real time:
i've been seeing this woman, this, um, this therapist, dale, and she's been really good. she's been really good. she's given me, like, all of these kind of, um, ways to...to handle, um, stuff. and then today she said, um, that i... that... that i just am fŐœckĐ”d. [...] and it's not like, um...like a, um...it's not like i'm sick. it's just my personality. [sobs]
... blaming dale ...
she said it's a personality disorder, and it's...and it's true, you know? it's just true. and...and, i mean, you must have seen it. [...] why wouldn't you say? you're the only person who's ever told me the truth, why wouldn't you tell me? why wouldn't you tell me?
... and then blaming herself.
i could have done something about it. i could have fixed it. i could have done something about it. and now there's no one! [...] i even fucked up with you, my fucking family, and now my fucking job.
i can't overstate the sheer vulnerability displayed by anna torv in this scene. it's a highly realistic portrayal of an initial reaction to getting this diagnosis. there's the instinct to prescribe yourself with inherent wrongness, to cast a cloud of villainy over your whole life to this point.
it's dale's response that seals the deal for me in terms of marking this an effective, empathetic portrayal of bpd onscreen.
"it's called borderline personality disorder, apparently," helen says, "did you see that?" in other words: did you see that in me? and if so, why are you still here?
dale just looks at her and says, "all i see is you."


to hear a character say that to a person with a confirmed bpd diagnosis is frankly revolutionary for television, even in media's generally progressive view of mental illness today. dale sees helen for all she is and still loves her. with the stigma that still exists around bpd, i donât think itâs an exaggeration to say that many folks with bpd would give anything to hear those words.
"all i see is you," dale says, "and i don't think it makes a difference. do you feel different?"
and what a question. this brings things into perspective for helen, and perhaps even for the viewer. this diagnosis doesn't change anything about what came before, or who helen is as a person--namely an inspiring, hardworking journalist and a loyal partner and friend. now she just has a name for the strong emotions that color her world. and with that name comes the power to learn, to grasp, to move forward and heal.
in the months following my diagnosis, as i started working on DBT individually and in a group setting, i slowly began to accept this part of myself. i called it by name, and i told it to the world. it reframes a lot of my behavior, past and present. it's helped me put terms to my emotions and how to handle them. and yet it's not all of me.
so, after the diagnosis, do you feel different? helen's answer is mine, too:
"no," she replies after a bout of surprised laughter, "i fucking don't."
-
after her diagnosis, it's clear helen doesn't take to therapy or DBT right away. she's suspicious, stubborn, and in denial about her path forward.
in 3x04, helen challenges marcia in any way she can, saying her fast-paced career doesn't allow for skill work, and summing up the study of DBT skills as "infantile checklists." marcia stands her professional ground, though: "if there were a pill that treated borderline, you would have it, but there isn't. this therapy requires your full engagement. you know what the alternative is." by the end of the scene, helen reluctantly begins trying again to work with her therapist, ranking different DBT skills and their effectiveness in her day to day.
again, i'm struck by the realism in this portrayal. the show references actual DBT skills with care and detail, despite the newness of the method in 1989. there are four major modules--mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness--and within them myriad terms and exercises pioneered by psychologist marsha m. linehan. several are referenced throughout the season.
helen's resistance is palpable--DBT makes up a whole book, and i can't say i was thrilled embarking on the journey myself. at first, a lot of it did seem trite--splashing my face with cold water, or practicing box breathing in a room full of people.
but what i had to realize for myself--and what helen does, too--is that these skills are an ongoing practice.
later in the episode, helen calls her therapist in distress after an encounter that brings her face-to-face with the uncomfortable reality of racism in australia and her innate privilege. "this therapy is not about denying your feelings," marcia reminds her, "it's about bringing you to a frame of mind where you can better navigate the situation. and right now, you need a distress tolerance skill, so pick one."
sure enough, we see helen doing laps up and down the stairs--employing the TIPP skill to bring her back to baseline. this is one of the many things i love about the newsreader's handling of bpd: it shows the borderline character doing the work. you don't "graduate" from DBT. i've gone through two group rounds myself, and have worked since my diagnosis with various therapists on individual practice. and still, over 6 years later, oftentimes the skills i need the most aren't readily at hand in high-stress moments. i'll never be done doing this, and that's kind of the point.
-
helen's story arc comes to a head in 3x05, when the press reveals details of her stay at a mental institution as a young woman. helen not-normal, the headline says. helen spirals--this could be the end of her career. she panics, begging for it to be retracted. this loops back to the denial of her condition, her emotions, her very self that plagued her for two seasons (and presumably far before). but this time, her therapy work grounds her:
marcia: helen, what can you control? what can you always control? helen: my reactions. marcia: you control what you do next. and what you do next tells everyone who you are.
so helen uses her journalistic platform to talk about mental health. she goes live on her show public eye with a social worker and former psychiatric nurse, who was institutionalized herself and thus became passionate about revamping the mental health industry: "if community were more accepting of people with mental illness, that would make the biggest difference." facing the camera, helen responds:
having experienced anxiety and depression myself, i do believe that...that it is the shame and the isolation that makes it so unbearable. and perhaps if we could change the way that we view and discuss mental health issues, it might seem less impossible to overcome.
this is just the start of helen's self-acceptance journey--and audiences receive it overwhelmingly positively. public eye is inundated with calls after the show. helen even reconciles with her sister, after years of little contact.
helen's choice to be authentically herself, live on air--marrying her public persona with the very real person behind it--is so important for folks with bpd to see onscreen.
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the sixth episode and series finale, "the fall," positions helen further getting a handle on emotion regulation. in an explosive confrontation between her and her co-executive producer, bill, helen takes a deep breath in response to his slew of insults. she responds to him calmly, setting a boundary:
i don't want to do this with you anymore. i really tried to protect your feelings. i mean, i blamed myself. i blamed your marriage. i blamed our working relationship. but i'm not going to be punished because I didn't want to fŐœck you.
later, in front of a group of largely male network executives, she sets her terms for the show going forward, delivering an ultimatum. the network pushes back on her terms, saying, "you do not get to control this." but, oh, she does. in establishing understanding and control of her emotions and her reactions, helen is able to fully harness her power as the queen of australian news.

in the end, helen ends up running public eye alongside her trusted co-producer, noelene, with dale serving as the show's international reporter. she's become herself, owned herself and her illness, and is still a wildly successful newsreader and journalist--not despite her bpd and the work she's doing to manage it, but partly because of all that too. because she knows herself, and unabashedly, she lets the world know this part of her, too--if not in name, then in her continuing to move forward with the candor around her experience with depression and anxiety.
i chatted with my therapist about helen's season 3 storyline. i'm still processing what i watched, and i wanted to reflect aloud about why that was. i had a really visceral reaction to helen's story that i'm still moving through, and one i wasn't expecting. and i think it's because this sensitive, realistic, honest portrayal of bpd and treatment and recovery resonated with my journey. seven years out from my diagnosis, sometimes the behaviors and cries for help i exhibited in my early to mid-twenties feel far away. is that really the "person" i was? was the diagnosis accurate? i realized it had to have been, for this season to have pulled at me so strongly.
and i remembered this is just one facet of who i am, and i've worked hard to learn how to manage it. my symptoms may look different now, less severe--but it doesn't change what happened to me, what i've been through, what i did at my borderline "height"--and the work i've done and continue to do. there's no "cure"--but there is recovery (not linear--no healing ever is). it's so clear in the show's final moments that helen is on her way there, too.
having the opportunity to see what i've experienced mirrored back at me through a beloved fictional character, as well as to reflect on how far i've come, is something i've not really experienced until now. i'm impressed with how the writers handled this aspect of the season, and i want to continue moving through how it resonated for me, and i'm sure for so many others.
helen, thank you.
i am so proud of you. (and i'm proud of me too.)
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Astro Observations with Kitana (Part 1)



Hi everyone! This post is gonna be about astrology observations, but using my own placements. I'm gonna be talking about my experiences and how I am with each placement. I thought that would be fun to do and it will also give the opportunity to tell a bit about myself.
Sun in Sagittarius
I know it feeds into the stereotype, but I do have a love and desire for traveling. Maybe it's because I have never gone anywhere further than two hours or because I'm a Sag. But either way, I would love to travel the world someday and see amazing places. I also have a strong interest in philosophy and I take my spirituality very seriously. I love learning about historical facts and I have been blessed and lucky throughout life, even if there has still been a lot of heartbreak. Of course, I am naturally funny, even if I try not to be. Jokes just roll off of my tongue. It's in the 8th house, so I am naturally drawn to taboo topics and spirituality has always been easy for me to understand.
Moon in Scorpio
I wouldn't wish this placement on anybody.......except my worst enemies cuz fuck them. Where do I even start? Terrible relationship with my mom. It didn't start out that way, it got worst as I grew older and realized that how she was treating me was unfair. She's never gonna change and admit her wrongdoings, I accept that. I have gone threw some traumatic things that I would rather not get into. It's in my 7th house, so of course every love relationship I have been in has been SHIT. I have been used, lied to, manipulated, cheated on, betrayed by both lovers and close friends. Because of how many friendship betrayals I have experienced, I am hesitant to make new friends. After I started my spiritual journey in 2020, I faced betrayal after betrayal (of course). I also slowly parted ways with my former best friend, the only person in my life I could call a true best friend. I keep telling myself I am fine with being alone, I don't need friends, but deep down I do and want them. But it's hard to find genuine friends. But on the brighter side, my psychic abilities are off the charts. I am grateful for them. I am also a strong empath, which is a blessing and a "curse".
Taurus Rising
Can I just say that I love cooking and eating? I learned to cook when I was very young, maybe 13 or 14, because my mom didn't have a car one year and we couldn't eat out as much. We experimented a lot in the kitchen, but I took it further. Cooking and baking became one of my passions. But I would never want it as a job except as a baker, maybe. It's also like therapy for me. I also love fashion, aesthetics, art, music. I can't live without music. I live and breathe it. Many people describe me as shy and kind, I also get complimented on my smile a lot.
Mercury in Sagittarius
Mouth = lethal. But seriously though, I am quite blunt. I try not to be offensive. But I'm more outspoken and confident than I was in my speech than when I was younger, so beware. I speak with eloquence, truth, and reason. Maybe a few insults here and there, but who gives a fuck? You probably deserved it. I would never insult someone unprovoked. As stated before, I am naturally funny. I love learning about lots of random things. I am also a visual learner. Just show me, I will get it done. It's also in my 8th house. Speaking the truth is in my nature. It has costed me friendships cuz I wouldn't allow bitches to walk all over me and called out their fake attitudes and hypocrisy. But do I care? Fuck no. I do want friendships but I ain't dealing with bs.
Thank you for reading! Part 2 will be posted soon. If you have any of these placements, can you relate to my descriptions?
dividers: @anitalenia
#astrology#astro observations#astrology observations#birth chart#sagittarius#sun in sagittarius#scorpio moon#scorpio#taurus#taurus rising
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don't you forget about me (part eight; final)
(part one)(part two)(part three)(part four)(part five)(part six)(part seven) (ao3 link)
It was an âifâ if Eddie would actually be discharged today, but now, after some more poking and prodding, he's finally on his way home with prescriptions for pain meds and physical therapy.Â
Wayne helps him up the three creaky, beautifully familiar stairs into the trailer, and Eddie collapses onto the old, beautifully familiar couch the second he gets inside. The weary groan he lets out is only slightly over-dramatized. âI feel like an 80 year old man,â he complains, entire body sore and aching to the bone already. âNow I know how you feel.â
âOi, I ain't that old,â Wayne protests. When Eddie snorts derisively, Wayne rolls his eyes and chuckles. âAlright, fine, so we both got creaky knees now. You, at least, will be young and spry again in no time, though,â his uncle tells him. âJust get some rest, old man.âÂ
Eddie heaves a great big sigh, takes another breath to steel himself, and then does just the opposite of that.Â
âWhat did I just say?â Wayne mutters as Eddie moves to stand again.Â
âI said Iâd call Steve,â Eddie says. Steve had to go to work, but he'd told Eddie that morning to call him if he ended up making it home today. âIâll dip out of work and come hang out, help you settle in, if you want,â Steve had said.Â
Wayne offers, âI can call him for you.âÂ
âNo, no, I got it,â Eddie insists, words broken by a grunt as he hauls himself back to his feet. âI can make it to the phone, Wayne, I'm not a complete invalid.â
âAlright.â Wayne raises his hands in defeat and backs off. Heâs never been one to hover. âYou just shout if you need me.âÂ
Eddie limps - slowly, painfully, with difficulty - to the phone on the wall by the tiny dining table they never use, the surface littered instead with unopened mail and haphazard papers scribbled with notes and reminders and important phone numbers. He leans heavily against the table as he paws through the piles trying to find a note of Steve's number. Eddie finds it buried deep, probably long since memorized by now before his memory got erased, but there it is: a notepad paper with Steve's name scrawled on it and two phone numbers written underneath, home and work.Â
âBingo.â Eddie grabs the paper, takes the phone off the hook, and dials the work number.Â
The phone rings a couple times, and then: âFamily Video. How can I help you?âÂ
âHey, Stevie.â Eddie smiles at the sound of his voice, as if he hadn't literally just heard it only a few hours ago.Â
âEddie!â Steve's bored customer service voice brightens. âAre you home? How are you feeling?âÂ
âYeah, Iâm home. Iâm alright. I mean, Iâm bone-fucking-tired and feel about a million years old, but it's really really good to be back,â Eddie says honestly. He adds, âIâm under strict orders to rest, though - gonna be bored out of my mind, so I could use the company if you were serious about ditching work for me.âÂ
âOf course I was serious,â replies Steve. âIt's a slow day today anyways.âÂ
Eddie grins. âGet your sweet ass over here then.âÂ
A smile is evident in Steve's voice too. âI'll be there in ten.âÂ
Eddie hangs up, tries his best to wipe this stupid lovesick grin off his face. He stumbles his way down the hall to his room next, flicking on some music from the cassette player on his dresser and looking around. His room is just as beautifully familiar as the rest of the trailer, not much changed from the way he last remembers it. The same music and D&D shit clutter his surfaces, the same posters clutter his walls. His bed is unmade, clothes litter the floor, same as always.
The only differences: his beloved electric guitar no longer hangs on the wall by the mirror (he was told, devastatingly, that she hadn't survived her trip to the Upside Down), and there are photographs he doesn't recognize taped up around the corners of that mirror. Eddie staggers over to get a closer look, only to first be momentarily jumpscared by his own reflection. His face is pale, eyes sunken, and his hair frizzes out in a greasy, tangled mess around his head, unwashed and unbrushed for who knows how long. Gross, but whatever. He manages to ignore his sickly appearance and inspects the pictures he had apparently deemed important enough to stick to the edges of his mirror.Â
There are photos of Eddie smiling with Hellfire and his band and the kids, in large groups and small groups, with old friends he remembers and newer ones he doesn't quite. But what catches his attention the most is a photobooth strip of him and Steve. The first picture shows the two of them grinning, arms slung around each otherâs shoulders; the second, a silly face photo, Eddie sticking out his tongue and Steve crossing his eyes; the third, Eddie giving Steve devil horns while Steve laughs; and the fourth-Â
Eddie plucks the strip off the mirror, stumbles, so taken aback he trips over his own lame feet until he plops down heavily onto his bed, and he stares. He stares at the last image in the row, which depicts - clear as day and undeniably real, immortalized in ink on photo paper - Steve kissing Eddie, tender hand on his cheek, both of them smiling against each otherâs lips.
He stares and he stares and he stares. And the longer he stares the more he can almost feel it, taste it, see the events of that photo strip playing out in his mindâs eye like a waking dream. Like a memory.Â
~Â
Steve pulls up to the trailer, the one with the metal music blaring from somewhere inside that announces to the whole park that Eddie Munson is back home. He smiles at the sound, gets out of his car and bounds toward it.Â
It's Wayne who lets him in when Steve knocks on the door. âHe's in his room,â the older man tells him as he steps aside to let Steve in. âMake sure he's stayinâ off his feet, will you? âCause lord knows he won't listen to me.âÂ
âYeah, I got it,â Steve says, and his tone and his smile say I got him. Wayne nods.Â
Steve makes his way down the hall to Eddieâs room. He raps his knuckles against the door first, but he doubts that can even be heard over the music so he pushes it open without waiting for a response. âHey, Ed-â Steve starts, only to falter when he sees Eddie sitting statue-still on the edge of his bed, eyes boring holes into a photo strip of the two of them together. âOh.âÂ
Eddie blinks, expression unreadable as he looks up and over at Steve. âWhy didn't you tell me?âÂ
âI-â Steve doesn't know what to say, what he should say. His veins buzz with a nauseating mix of hope and anxiety and it's making him feel a bit sick. He takes a deep breath, turns down the music so he can think. âI wanted to. I just- I thought it would freak you out. You didn't know me. I didn't want to force anything on you.âÂ
âSoâŠwe were together,â Eddie says slowly. âFor how long?âÂ
âSince July.â Steveâs desperately searching Eddieâs face for something, anything, to clue him in to what Eddieâs thinking or feeling right now. âAre- are you freaked out? Because you look a little freaked out.âÂ
âIâm not freaked out,â Eddie says, and it's almost convincing. âI'm justâŠprocessing.âÂ
âOh-kayâŠâ Steve breathes out, leaning cautiously against the doorframe, still hovering by the exit just in case Eddie decides he doesn't want him there anymore once he's finished processing.
âIâve, uh-â Eddie looks back down at the photo strip he holds in his hands and takes a breath. âIâve been remembering some things, you know, little things - in dreams - about us. But I- I thought I just had a crush or something, because I thought if all of that was real, if we had really been that happy - thatâŠin love - then you would've said something. You would've told me.âÂ
When Eddie's eyes meet his again, Steve realizes he'd misread his expression before. Eddie's not freaked, he's upset, hurt, not because of what he's learned but because it was kept from him. Of all the worst-case scenarios Steve's spiraling mind had come up with over the past couple weeks, he had not considered this one. So preoccupied with his own angst over being forgotten and fear of being unwanted, Steve hadn't thought to consider that him hiding the true nature of their past might make Eddie feel unwanted too. That's the last thing Steve wants; the ache of that trumps any other ache he feels.Â
âEddie, Iâm sorry. I just- you didn't know me, and I panicked; I didn't think, or-or I thought too much, but I should've just told you.â Steve pushes off from the doorway and goes to sit beside Eddie, because he can't stand Eddie looking at him with those big doe eyes and not being close to him. He leaves a bit of space, barely holds himself back from taking hold of Eddie's hand. âBecause it was real, all the things you've been remembering. It was real- it is real, and Iâm so sorry I didn't tell you.âÂ
Eddie is uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. His gaze flicks him up and down and across his face, and then Eddie grabs him, hands dropping the photo strip to instead clutch at Steve's cheek and jaw as he pulls him in and kisses him. As their lips slide together, familiar, the both of them sigh into the kiss. Steve feels a bursting in his heart, so similar to the way it felt the very first time theyâd done this: the giddiness of reciprocation, the intuition that this is right.Â
When Eddie pulls back after a few long moments, something is changed, something returned. Steve watches Eddieâs eyes flutter open; and when they do, for the first time since he'd woken up in that hospital bed, Eddie sees him, knows him, loves him.Â
âHow could I ever have forgotten that?â Eddie says, almost whispered, running his thumb across Steve's cheekbone. âHow could I ever have forgotten you?âÂ
Steve could cry. Tears made of relief and joy blur his vision, because Eddie is looking at him with all the tenderness he'd been missing these past weeks, the painful emptiness of before now filled. It's all back. His Eddie is back. Steve pitches forward and hugs him bodily. Eddie returns the embrace; Steve sinks into his arms and it feels like coming home.Â
He closes his misty eyes, buries his face in the crook of Eddie's neck and the tangles of his hair, and he breathes him in, clinging onto him like Eddie might just disappear if Steve ever let go. Eddie holds him just as close, one arm wrapped firm around Steve's waist while his other hand cradles the back of Steve's head and strokes his hair. Steve soaks in every touch, feels every place where they are pressed against each other, so warm and safe and loving after so long without it. He is whole again in the arms of the man he loves. Â
âI missed you,â Steve mutters, lips brushing against the skin of Eddie's neck as he speaks, muffled.Â
âI know, Stevie,â Eddie murmurs, âmy Stevie, Iâm so sorry.âÂ
âSâokay. It wasn't your fault,â Steve mumbles, and he thinks maybe they both need to stop apologizing for this.Â
Eddie must think the same, because he says, âAnd it wasn't yours either,â like he knows every twisted, guilty thought that's been haunting Steve lately and he absolves him of them. He tugs gently at Steveâs hair to get him to lift his head and look him in the eyes. âYou know that, right?âÂ
âYeah, I know,â Steve says quietly. Eddie reaches up to brush from his cheek a tear Steve didn't even know had fallen, and as he wipes it away he wipes away everything - all blame, all fear, all pain. Eddie had forgotten him, and it sucked, but now he remembers again, and none of that matters anymore. Steve hangs onto Eddie's wrist. âJust-â His voice rasps with emotion, making it rougher. âDon't you ever forget about me again.âÂ
It's not a promise that can be made with any certainty - anything can happen at any time, just as unexpectedly as it had this time - but Steve doesn't need certainty, he just needs to hear the words, and Eddie gives that to him. âI won't, darling,â he vows, with gentle reassurance. âNever again.â
âGood,â Steve sighs, turning his head into Eddie's hand to press a kiss to the palm.Â
The last of his heavier emotions drain out of him then and now he can feel the joy of Eddie's return in its whole entirety. As he rolls his face out of Eddie's hand and settles his eyes on the beautiful boy in front of him, a grin begins to spread across Steve's face; Eddie's smile grows in tandem with his, like he's smiling just because Steve is. Steve says, giddy in full now, âYou're back.âÂ
âYeah,â Eddie says, lovely and bright, ducking to bump his forehead against Steve's. âI'm back.âÂ
Steve lets go of Eddie's wrist to tangle a hand in his hair, and he tilts his head up to kiss him again, just because he can, because he's making up for lost time. They draw each other in close once more, lips and bodies moving against each other, easy and natural. Steve could stay right here like this forever, never wants to stop holding him or stop kissing him.Â
But a thought - a question - tickles at the base of Steve's skull, and when he does pull back he asks, hopeless romantic that he is, âJust in case - I mean, just so I know - what was it that brought your memory back? Was it like aâŠtrue loveâs kiss breaking the spell sort of thing?âÂ
Eddie laughs, gives Steve another quick peck like he always does when Steve says something endearing. âNot quite, Prince Charming,â he responds with a grin so fond Steve thinks his heart might burst. âIt was more likeâŠthe things I had remembered were just dreams to me, shallow and unreal, but kissing you was like an anchor, a reminder that allowed those dreams to sink in as proper memories and become real.âÂ
âSoâŠbasically it was true loveâs kiss,â Steve says cheekily, just to hear Eddieâs laugh again, just to receive another affectionate press of Eddie's lips against his.Â
âYeah, sure,â Eddie concedes, smilingly, never one not to indulge whimsy, âwe can call it that.â But then he amends, with a little less levity, âIt wasn't exactly a magic cure-all, though. It didn't bring everything back, there are still gaps in my memory.â He looks at Steve with eyes like pools of melted chocolate, soft and endless. âBut I remember that I love you; I remember that much.âÂ
And Steve tells him, âThat's enough," and he pulls him in for another true love's kiss.
THE END. taglist: @romanticdestruction @daydreamsandcrashingwaves @paintsplatteredandimperfect @hallucinatedjosten @mugloversonly @estrellami-1 @alongcomesaspider @thatonebadideapanda @tell-me-a-secret-a-nice-one @dragonmama76 @wxrmland @nuggies4life @sirsnacksalot @myguiltyartpleasure @lolawonsstuff @marklee-blackmore @vinteraltus @sebastiansstanswhore @0happyeverafter0 @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @emsgoodthinkin @alyelf @warlordess @stevesbipanic @lil-gremlin-things @rockandrolodex @badcaseofcasey @bat-outta-hel @fandomcartographer @manda-panda-monium @littlewildflowerkitten @giopandaonice @mightbeasleep @queenie-ofthe-void @krazyperson @worldofshea @marvel-ous-m @tartarusknight @a-little-unsteddie @xenon-demon @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxsky-shockxx @mc-i-r @bookbinderbitch @aspenshade88 @slowandsteddie @thedragonsaunt @daydreaming-mood @space-invading-pigeon @irregular-child @a-lovely-craziness (continued in replies)
#and that's all folks!#endings are so hard for me but i hope you guys like this one#huge huge thank you to everyone who's followed along; all the love and support on this has been insane and i am so grateful <3#steddie#steddie fic#steddie fanfiction#steddie fanfic#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#fanfic#mine#dyfamsteddiefic
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Insomnia
Steve Rogers x OFC (You)
Summary: You couldn't sleep, and Steve neither. So you want to help him with a bedtime story. And he wants you forever.
Note: This is the first chapter of a series, but can be read as independent story. Links at the end of this chapter :)
To say you couldn't sleep is an understatement. You quite literally couldn't even close your eyes for the past few nights.Â
It's not something you can control; your brain just works like this: challenges at work are the adrenaline that rushes to your mind, and it just won't calm down.Â
So, a 13-hour shift wasn't enough to tire you out; insomnia hit so hard that you decided to head down to the training room to try to drain all your energy.
As you made your way down the stairs, you could hear the distant thudding of fists against a punching bag.Â
Upon pushing the door slowly open, you weren't surprised to be met with Steve...without punching gloves.
God, you felt for those knuckles. How can this man be so careless with himself? Not that you have any say in that, of course.
You nodded as he turned around, surprised to see anyone at this hour.
"Cap." you said respectfully, with a tiny voice, looking at the floor as if there's anything wonderful there.
Steve walked over, sweat glistening across his forehead and cheeks, his shirt clinging to his now drenched chest.
"Oh, hi..." He smiled upon seeing you, grabbing a towel from the bench and wiping the sweat from his face. "It's late, what are you doing here?"
"Um..." You didn't think he would talk with this familiarity, but you smiled back. "I couldn't sleep, um...so I just thought I'd try to train myself."
"Ah...insomnia, right?" Steve chuckled slightly, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a few swigs. "I used to suffer with it quite badly too. I used to go to bed and just...stare at the ceiling all night."
"Oh my god." Your reaction was real. "That sounds...terrible."
Steve nodded and slumped down on the bench, leaning back as he took another sip of water. "It is...the only way I got around it was to exhaust myself before bed, but I'm sure you don't need me telling you that."
That statement struck you a little bit. You couldn't help but feel so bad for him. "Cap...that sounds draining. Have you been like that, since...always?"
Steve nodded once again, his hand running through his hair and pushing it back. "Unfortunately, been like it as long as I can remember. I only recently started trying to control it - the army didn't exactly care much about my sleeping patterns..."
"What?" Now you were horrified. "That's so awful. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, don't worry about it. It's alright," Steve reassured with a small smile, his eyes locking with yours for a moment. "I'm used to it. Plus, the army needed me to be the best I could, even if that meant I had to run on 0 hours of sleep."
"Wait, what? Steve, I meant, Cap...that's, that's not right!"
Steve chuckled softly and looked down at his feet for a moment. "Yeah...yeah, I guess it isn't." He was quiet for a moment before looking back up at you with a small smile. "I appreciate the concern, though."
You felt your cheeks were starting to burn, so you looked down again. "Have you tried any pills?" you asked as you watched yourself reflected in the mirror. Oh, you looked so stupid with your gym gear. What were you even doing with a towel and a bottle of water?
Steve nodded, scratching his temple slightly with his thumb. "I've tried just about everything: pills, sleep therapy, meditation, music, literally everything you could think of to help me sleep. I can maybe get 3 hours of sleep max, but that's if I'm absolutely exhausted."
You looked at him. You couldn't believe it. This man, you saw him in and out every day from this campus. He went out so energized, and came back full of scars and wounds, and he couldn't even get some quality rest.
You couldn't help but approach him, your voice as soft as you ever knew it: "Is there anything I can do to help?"
He paused for a moment, looking at you with a quizzical look for a few seconds before his lips quickened up into a small smile. "I mean...there is one thing I could think of..."
"What?"
"Sit next to me." Steve patted a space on the bench beside him, a small smirk on his face and a twinkle in his eye. "Keep me company."
"Sure."Â
You didn't even doubt it, and you sat next to him, thinking you were willing to talk for 60 hours in a row if that's what it took to get this man to sleep.Â
"Wanna talk about it?"
Steve leaned back against the bench, resting his hands on the metal beside him as he tilted his head slightly to look at you. "There's not much to talk about. My mind just...won't switch off."
"Hmm...maybe, a bedtime story?"
Steve laughed incredulously at the idea, the noise coming from his chest filling the silent room. He found it extremely amazing that he hadn't heard his own laughter like that in a long time.
"A bedtime story? Don't you think I'm a little old for that? I think last time I heard one was⊠96 years ago?"
"Well..." God, his laugh was just...magical. You smiled back as your heart melted. "You never know, right?"
Steve chuckled softly once more, his head tilting back as he looked up at the ceiling, a smirk on his face. "You know what...sure. I'll take a bedtime story."
"Alright..." You started laughing too, your frenzied brain starting to do its thing: spinning really fast.Â
"Here I go..."
Steve shifted so he was facing you more, leaning forwards with one elbow on his knee. His face was expectant albeit a little amused, and he wondered what kind of a bedtime story you were going to tell.
"Once upon a time, there was a super soldier..."
Steve raised an eyebrow, a small chuckle escaping his lips at the start of the story. "Alright...a super soldier...continue."
"...Who couldn't sleep, so he ran every night up to the hill and asked a fairy living there: 'Hey, little princess, why can't I sleep?' And the fairy replied: 'Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Is it because the stars are too shiny?' And the soldier looked up at the sky full of stars and shrugged his shoulders: 'Probably...?'"
Steveâs lips formed a soft curve at the beginning of the story, his smile growing with each sentence.Â
"How do you know this story?"
You winked at him. "I'll tell you that at the end. â
âSo...the fairy thinks about it for a second and says: Well, maybe I can help you. And she goes up, up, up in the sky and starts to collect all the stars one by one, but there are so many of them! And she's so anxious because she wants the super soldier to get some sleep before the army calls...you know, those dumbasses..."
Steve's head tilted back once again as he laughed out loud, shaking his head at the ludicrous but somehow lovely story that was being told, and for some unknown reason, it was making him feel slightly relaxed.Â
"That's a lot of stars, huh?"
"Yup..." you heard your voice, and you noticed your joy in making him happy or bringing a little peace to his mind.Â
You continued, "So the fairy gets a brilliant idea: 'I'll call every kid on the planet and ask them to wish upon a shiny star, so the stars will fall, and every kid is happy with their wishes granted, and the sky is darkened, and the super soldier gets some sleep.'"
"Every kid? How would they all know to wish upon a star?"
"Because..." You looked at him as if saying, 'duh dude...'
"That's what kids do, didn't you wish upon a star? Ever?"
"WellâŠI'm not sure I ever did...IâŠreally donât remember..." He sighed nostalgically.
You looked at him. You wanted to say, "Me neither," but instead, you just responded in a comforting voice, "Well...If you don't sleep tomorrow either, I promise you, I'll go and fetch a star for you."
Steve smiled back at you, your words sending a strange yet warm feeling through his heart.Â
"You'd go as far as stealing a star for me?"
And your damn brain worked so fast you didn't even think about what you were saying.
"I'll get every star in the universe for you if you'd ask."
Steve's breath hitched in his throat, there was a strange feeling through his stomach and slightly increasing his heart rate.Â
He was quiet for a moment, just looking at you before he spoke again, his own words surprising him.Â
"Do you promise...you'd get them all?"
Your heartbeat just stopped at that glance of his, but you nodded.Â
"Yes, I do."
Steve took another moment to compose himself, a wonderstruck hitted him as he looked you in the eyes. He was searching your face for any hint of sarcasm or lies, but all he could see was what looked like true honesty.Â
"You make a powerful promise...you sure you can keep it?"
You laughed. "What, you don't believe me?"
At the sound of your laugh, Steve's breath hitched in his throat, the noise stirring something deep within him which he attempted to push down. But it was so strong.
"It's not that...I just don't want you to promise something you can't keep."
"I'll keep it." He probably didn't know it, but you were actually vowing, "Every word of it." You replied in a soft voice.
There it was again, that tickle through Steve's stomach. Butterflies everywhere. They came from the air that he breathed, through his chest, to his entire body.Â
He smiled at you, a genuine smile that reached his eyes, and for the first time in a very long time, Steve actually believed someone when they promised him something.Â
"I'm holding you to that, you know."
You got lost in his eyes. God, thereâs an entire ocean in his eyes. You held your tongue before you said that, so you cleared your throat. "I haven't finished my story."
Steve shifted once again to face you, a smile still present on his face. "Continue...tell me the rest of the story."
"So the fairy gets all the stars of the sky to fulfill the kids' wishes, and the sky finally darkens. She goes back to the soldier, but before arriving, she went to heaven and borrowed some feathers from the wings of the most beautiful angel. 'It's for a kid that can't sleep,' she explains to the angel, and with the feathers and her fairy magic, she makes the most comfortable pillow in the world. And only then, she goes back to the soldier and gives him the pillow: 'There, you will have a good sleep, honey.' And so, the soldier finally gets some rest. The end."
Steve listened to the rest of the story intently, that strange feeling in his stomach returning as waves of a tide.
Damn butterflies. Now they even left a trace of golden glitter shiny things.
He wants those butterflies to stop, but he fails, his eyes locking with yours. "You are good...you are a truly excellent storyteller, you know that?"
"I know, right?" You laughed, and also lowered your voice. "But I'll tell you a little secret."
He chuckled as he leaned back against the bench, arms crossed across his chest. As he was trying to hide something, to push back on something. To take distance.Â
"A secret? I like the sound of that."
"You're my only and first audience."
Steve cocked an eyebrow, his smirk returning and his arms uncrossing. "You mean this is the first time you've even told someone that story?"
"Or any story."
Steve's eyes widened at your words, the smirk on his face growing even more.Â
"You've never told a story before...like, ever?"
"Ever."
Steve chuckled softly at your response, shaking his head slightly. "You mean to tell me that ever since you were a kid, you've never told another person a story? Not even when you were little?"
You were going to say something, but kept quiet and smiled.
Steve was quiet for a moment before looking at you.Â
"Most people tell everyone stories...they don't save up a story for years and years and years to tell just one person...just one?"
You blinked at him. "It's only for super soldiers who can't sleep at night, and you are the first one I've met. But...if you happen to know any other super soldier who is also a superhero and also happens to be...you know, Captain America, the greatest avenger of all times...tell him I have a great bedtime story to share with him in case he can't sleep and is training in the tower at this time of the night...otherwise...then yes, you are the only one."
Steve couldn't help but laugh at your response, the sound filling the room once again and that pang through his stomach returning. He ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head as he looked at you, a smirk on his face.Â
"I'll let you know if I see any super soldiers around."
"Tell him that's a hell of a bedtime story."
Steve chuckled again, his smirk growing wider as he gave you a nod. "You think he'll like it?"
"I don't know, what do you think?" you shrugged your shoulders.
Steve paused, his eyes locking with yours and that feeling in his stomach returning once again.Â
He slowly licked across his lips and was quiet for a moment before answering.Â
"I think he'll like the story...I think he'll like it a lot..."
You paused for a long moment before you moved your sight out of the window.Â
"Well, that would make me very happy, you know?"
Steve smiled back at you, that warm feeling in his stomach slowly spreading through his entire body. There was something about you that he just couldn't quite put his finger on - you made him feel strangely relaxed yet on edge all at once, and he couldn't quite explain it.
"Why?"
"Because..." Your response was honest and sincere. "I don't know, I guess...I guess I just wish all the good things for him."
Steve was silent, his eyes not able to move from your face as he listened intently. It was at this moment that strange pang in his chest became so prominent that it almost knocked the breath out of him.Â
Your words were simple, yet they made his heart flutter. He didn't understand why, but he suddenly felt something he hadn't felt in years, a feeling so strong and overpowering yet so gentle.
Steve smiled, his voice coming out as nothing more than a whisper.Â
"You...you really care about him...huh?"
You stayed quiet. This was weird, he was asking, yet you felt that those questions came from some kind of reflexive thought, that it was your inner voice asking you.Â
So you answered, "I do. A lot."
Steve didn't say anything for a moment, the way you answered so quickly and so honestly made all hesitations and doubts disappear. He is not fighting anymore against it. He found himself looking at you intently, almost as if he were trying to read you.Â
His heart rate slowly rose, and those butterflies flew and flew in circles all around within him..Â
He suddenly remembers that he didn't even know your name. Youâre such a dumbass, Rogers. Captain America is just an excuse, this is the REAL reason you donât get dates over 100 years. He tells himself. Could you be more stupid?
"I donât even know your name." He says in an apologetic tone.
"I'm..." You thought about it and decided to go with your real name, not the one you were known for.Â
Steve repeated your name silently to himself, letting it roll off his tongue and hearing the way it sounded as it left his lips.Â
He paused for a moment, his face softened with a slight smile as he was saying a breathtaking thought.
"Beautiful name..."
"Thanks." And you blinked at him. "And you are...?"
A subtle laugh flickered on his face at your joke before replying, "Well...you probably know my name already, but...I'm Steve, Steve Rogers."
Your heartbeat skipped a dozen paces, but you played it cool. "I like your name too."
Steve's eyes widened at your words. He hesitated and tilted his head slightly, letting his hair fall into his eyes as he spoke gently. "You're not going to call me 'Cap' or 'Captain America'?"
"Do...do you prefer it?"
A flicker of amusement crossed Steveâs face: "No...I'd prefer it if you just called me Steve...or Stevie."
"Does...anyone dare to call you Stevie?"
Steve chuckled, "No...no one dares, no...but I think I'd be willing to let you get away with it..."
"Alright then, only because you've asked."
Steve's smile widened, a small laugh escaping his throat in response to your comment. He found himself taken aback by the unexpected emotions stirring within him. Every passing moment made him more drawn towards you, captivated by your presence.Â
He couldn't comprehend why he was suddenly feeling so at ease, as if he had known you for a lifetime instead of minutes.
It was like homecoming. Instead of greeting for the first time.
Steve sat up straight again, his eyes not leaving your face. He took another moment, gathering himself and taking a breath before speaking, his voice went as gentle and as low as ever.Â
"Can I tell you something?"
His gentle voice gave you goosebumps.Â
"Is it a secret?"
Steve chuckled nervously, his hands suddenly becoming sweaty and palms slightly clammy, his heart starting to pound against his chest. He shifted slightly so that he was even closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours.Â
"Hmm, yeah, I guess you could call it a secret..."
"Will I ever be tortured by enemies trying to know this secret?"
Steve laughed, shaking his head and leaning back once again, but still staying close to you.Â
"No...no, you won't get tortured, I promise...it's just, something I just want to share with you and only you..."
"Oh, in that case...I better promise I won't tell...You've made me promise a lot of things tonight, Steve."
Steve smiled but noticed that his hands were becoming even more sweaty as he thought, and that his heart was racing like a teenager.Â
"Can I...can I lean a bit closer to you for a second?"
Your body literally was screaming to get closer to him, your brain was sending some kind of alert sign, and your heart was about to jump off your chest. So you were practically a mess. You could only do as you were commanded.
âSure.â
Steve shuffled even closer to you, his leg slightly touching yours, the feeling of just sitting so close to you creating a small burst of electricity through his body. He suddenly realized that he could feel your body heat and how much he was desperate to get even closer, to feel that warmth directly against him.
He took another deep breath before speaking, his voice still as low and as gentle as a whisper, but the butterflies within him were entering in a frenetic dance.
"I'm gonna lean even closer than this, alright?"
No, it is not alright because your heart was going to burst, but could you ever say no to him?Â
"Alright." You nodded, unable to move your eyes from his.
Steve inhaled deeply at your response, his body almost aching to be even closer. He leaned in, his leg now firmly pushed against yours, his own body heat mixing with yours.
He was suddenly nervous, the words he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue. He took another deep breath, swallowing and licking across his lips before speaking once again in that same, low, gentle voice.Â
"Can I come even closer?"
You held your breath, barely nodded. Just move, MOVE!
Steve didn't need you to say anymore. His body was now fully pressed against yours, his breath catching as he took in your scent. God, you smelled like fresh grass after rain. It was driving him wild.
His head was next to yours, his cheek mere millimeters from your skin, like willow leaves resting on the water, creating ripples through your heart.
"Closer?"
Your mind was blurred. "Please."
That one word was all it took. Steve realized how much he wanted you. He shifted, lifting his leg onto the bench so he was almost sitting next to you, his chest and hips now pushed against you.Â
He could feel the heat from your body through his own and he got it, what was that wonderstruck homecoming sensation he had: he never wanted to be without it.
"Is this close enough?" he murmured, his voice nothing but a whisper.
You sighed, your heart pounding in your chest. With a determined look, you put your hands on his face, tracing gentle lines with your fingers.
You looked at him, your gaze holding his, as if you could see forever into his soul.
"No. If you don't mind. I'd like to be closer."
Steve's breath caught, his body burning with desire. He shifted closer, pressing against you, his pulse quickening. You felt his heat, his warmth, his desperate need, and you surrendered to it.
His breaths became shallower now, that strange feeling almost overwhelming within him.Â
"How about now?"
"Well...you think...you think that the other...the other superhero that suffers from insomnia could do better?" You slowly put your arms around his neck, and pulled him to yourself.Â
"Something...like this?"
Steve gasped, feeling a strong wave of electricity shoot straight to his core as he felt your arms around his neck, your body pressed against his all at once, his arms holding onto your waist, keeping you pulled close to him. His eyes flicked down to your lips as you spoke as he answered.Â
"Definitely."
And he suddenly realized how good it felt, how right it felt, how much he wanted to taste you, how badly he could feel that strange, overwhelming feeling in his heart begging him to just give in.
He moved just a little more. And it felt as if he were hanging on the edge of a cliff, his breath caught in his throat as he spoke, his voice a shaky whisper.
"Can I..."
And you moved your lips up, right into his.
And all the butterflies just...flew up, and a thousand golden glitter traces exploded everywhere like magic dust rolled in the wind.
Steve felt a sudden fire ignite within him as his body ached for you, every inch desperate to feel your touch.Â
He let out a small moan as he tasted you, the ache growing stronger with each passing second.Â
His hands roamed sliding down your back and up to your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands as the kiss deepened. Steve wanted more, he needed more...he just couldn't get enough.
But you broke the kiss, you needed air.
So he had to, too. His breaths coming out sharp and ragged, his heart hammering so hard and fast he could practically feel it in his head. He took a moment to compose himself, his hands holding you still against him, his forehead resting against yours as he tried to control his breathing.
âIâŠI canât believe I just did thatâŠâ he spoke after a while, his voice coming out as a whisper.
OMG.Â
You opened your eyes and blurted out: "But...but...did...but did you like it?"Â
RIGHT? Please tell me you liked it or you'll have to present your resignation to Stark tomorrow.
âLiked it?â
Steveâs hand suddenly comes up to gently push a strand of hair back behind your ear.
âI loved it.â
You gazed at him, and of course, your impulse worked so much faster than your sense: "So can we do it again?"
Steveâs eyes widened, a small, incredulous laugh escaping his throat.
âYou think you have to ask?â
"And...would you mind if I...take the lead...this time?" You can barely look at him, and your voice is so low that only a super soldier could hear.
"I..."Steveâs heart suddenly skipped. God, youâre wonderfully full of surprises.
"Not at all." Not in a million lifetimes.
"Ok." You inhaled deeply to take charge, but all of a sudden, you stopped. As you were realizing something.
"W-What's wrong?" Steve didnât dare to speak above a whisper, his mind racing through every possible reason as to why you suddenly hesitated like that.
âIs thisâŠtoo fast?â
"Oh no." You immediately shook your head: "No, this is wonderful. It's just...my heart is beating so fast and so loud, I don't...I don't even know what to do with it, just...just give me a second to recover. Hold to that thought a little longer."
You wave your face with a hand, as you couldnât breathe. Is too loud. This is too loud. Your heart was pounding too fast, you were afraid he could hear it. That everyone in this campus could hear it.
"Oh for god's sake!" He laughed so hard. His heart suddenly swelled, the moment was perfectâŠperfect in a way he never realized possible. He couldn't believe it, how can you be so adorable and drive him to the edge of wildness at the same time.
As you struggle to catch your breath and calm your racing heart, your eyes are drawn to him. His smile, his laughter, the sparkle in his eyes, the way he holds your hand.Â
And in a moment of dumbfounded wonder, you find yourself uttering, "Are you even realâŠ?â
He sighed, a long exhale filled with tenderness and emotions he couldn't yet understand. His forehead rested against yours as he whispered back with a smile.
"If I'm not real...your imagination is pretty damn amazing..."
"...I think this is beyond my imagination..."
Steve slowly moved his hand down to your cheek, gently brushing his thumb across the blushing skin: "Trust me, my imagination could never have come up with someone like you..."
"But..." You almost trembled under his touch, and as he raised your jaw to look at you, you finally took the lead.
"This is real."Â
And you pressed your lips to his for an even more perfect second kiss.
Steve gasped.
They say marvelous things about the first kisses. But how can they say nothing about the second one?
His heart suddenly accelerating within his chest, overtaken by the sensation of your touch. He couldn't think, head completely foggy, mind blurred, with the only clarity of wanting more.Â
His hand suddenly grabbed onto your waist, pulling you even closer to him, his own mouth instantly responding against yours.Â
He was losing it to the urge, the need, to get even closer to you, to have all of you.
Your whole body was shivering, and when you got a chance to breathe, you uncontrollably whispered his name with a lost voice.
"Steve..."
And that's just it.Â
Thatâs what set Steve on fire.
He slowly shifted his body, pulling you onto his lap so you were now sitting on his thighs. He leaned forwards to your ear, his hot breath on your neck as he spoke in a low whisper, his own voice almost pleading.
"Say it again..."
You opened your watery and moist eyes, and what you released was almost an uncontrolled begging moan, "Steve..." as you pressed your fingers tightly to his skin, unable to bear all these feelings.
Steve suddenly stopped all action, the sound of his name on your lips mixed with that look in your eyes sending a shiver down his spine.
"God..." He said as he breathed heavily and leaned back. Panting.Â
For fucksâ sake. He thinks to himself.
"You have no idea what you're doing to me..."Â
It took all the willpower within him not to act on his body's needs, not to press you down into the bench and claim all of you right there.
Your mind was so blurred and your body and heart were reacting so out of control that you had no idea what you were saying. So you just answered spontaneously in between panting breaths, "...Helping you with your sleeping problems?"
Steve chuckled. You were magical. His body was distressed after your reply, but still so pending on everything you made him feel. He looked at your blushed face and heard your agitated breathing. He couldn't understand how you truly had no idea of the effect you had on him, of how badly he wanted you right now. So he took a deep breath in, trying to hold himself back.
"Helping to sleep?" His thumb caressed your lips. "More like keeping me awake..."
"Oh..." As if you had any idea of how that had happened, ending up in his lap with this kiss that would haunt you for the rest of your life.
"So do you need another bedtime story?"
Steve chuckled again, your words bringing him back into the moment, grounding him a bit. He looked at you and smiled, shaking his head. "No, that's a wrap for today. But I need to ask you something."
Something he wanted to ask since you sat by his side tonight. But well, is not his fault that he was so easily distracted by you.
"And be honest with me, okay?" He inhaled slowly, and for a strange reason, his nerves rose again when you nodded. He slowly ran his eyes over your face, the way the light from the city below flickered on your skin.Â
And for a moment he hesitated in asking, what if the answer was not what he expected?
"Are you...seeing anyone right now...? Like...do you have a...boyfriend...?"
"Oh." From all the questions on earth, this was the last one you expected. So you nodded.Â
"Yeah, I do, from Mondays to Fridays, during working hours. Then, I'm allowed to hang around the campus at midnight to find a super soldier, sit on his lap, and kiss him."
Steve's eyes widened when he heard the first part, and then a loud laughter escaped his lips.Â
He felt his heart filled with inexplicable joy. Damn, you were good. He was so glad, he couldn't stop smiling, and he felt his soul was full with your hand interlocked with his. As two perfect matched pieces from a puzzle.
"Well...?" You lifted an eyebrow at him.
"What?"
"Are you?" You looked at him as if it were an obvious implication. "Seeing someone?"
"No." He was firm, the small smile still on his face. He looked up at you, slowly shaking his head. "No...I haven't been with anyone for a while...I haven't had any reason to..." And he sighed a gentle whisper, "...up until now, anyway..."
You were terrible at getting indirect answers. Your brain only worked with binary stuff. So you blinked several times, making sure you understood correctly.
"And...can you consider that possibility, right now?"
Steve held his gaze steady on yours, "What if...what if I said I already had someone in mind?"
"Is she...helping you with your sleeping problems? Or...a very good storyteller?"
Steve suddenly let out a chuckle. "Maybe ...but it's not just about the sleep, you know...It's about...having that person there...that one person who's always there for you...that one person who always makes you smile..." As you.
"...that person you can always be yourself around..." As you. He thought, while observing you, expecting your reaction.
"Well..." You nodded, thinking about it seriously. "I....I don't know if I'd be a good fit but...."
"...But...?"
Steve's nerves built again as you paused for a moment, he wanted to know if you were saying what he thought you were about to say.
"But I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you smile...and...and I'll be there...always...and...I'll do anything..."Â
Your lack of courage didn't let you finish under the look of Steve's gaze. He was so serious that you started to stutter and couldn't finish those stupid words.
Well done. That sounded so cliche. You couldn't believe yourself.
But Steve sat there, completely stunned and frozen, your words slowly sinking in within his mind. He couldn't believe what you'd just said, how you'd spoken to them with such honesty, such conviction. And you weren't even together yet, you weren't a couple, you weren't...anything, really.
And his stomach was twisting into a knot as he listened to your every word, as he heard the meaning behind them.
A strange kind of calm washed over him, as if a weight was suddenly slowly lifted from his chest. You couldn't have said it better. He couldn't even imagine better, and yet, everything you said was exactly what he hoped you'd say, and those words had calmed and soothed something within him he'd never realized needed soothing.
"I AM SO SORRY." You, in the other hand, were a mess while he was still wonderstruck, thinking that made him feel so uncomfortable. "I'll take it back, I didn't say anything."
"No." He replied immediately. No, don't you dare take that back from me.Â
He wanted to speak, wanted to say so much, but the words failed him. So he inhaled deeply, and cupped your face in his hands, pressed his forehead to yours.
"I m, I'm just...stunned, I'm just...marveled."
"Huh?" This emotional rollercoaster was killing you. "Why?"
Steve suddenly let out a small chuckle, your innocence and naivety when it came to your affect on him just kept him in endless wonder. But he had time. You'll find out eventually how important you are. And that makes him smile. That's a wonderful word: "Eventually." Means you have so much ahead of you together.
"Because...I've never heard anyone say the things you just said to me, that's why..."
"Oh." You are not really good at interpreting people's faces. So you just don't know what to say, and to be honest, there's something else you want to ask.
"Steve?"
"Mmh?"
"Can I have your phone number?"
Steve laughed again, God, what a night. How can you be this...amazing? He pulled the phone out, turning it on and pulling up the screen as he spoke.
"Of course you can...here...put your number in..."
"Yeah..." You rubbed your nose. "I don't know my phone number...Maybe...you can search it in the...public contact list? Here, let me help you." You say while entering your complete name in the organization's internal app.
"Oh." Steve frowns. "You don't know your phone number?"
"Well, do you?" You return his cellphone after finding your contact card in the top level section.
"I know EVERYONE'S number." Steve has a smirk on his face, his playful side suddenly coming out.
"Really? WHY?" You wonder. "You're on Level 0, you should have access to everything, you don't need to have to know the numbers by heart..."
"Because...I'm Captain America, I have to know these things..."
You take this joke so seriously, you're shocked. "REALLY? You know...like all the avenger's numbers?"
Steve snorted a laugh, the look on your face priceless. Oh, you gorgeous, adorable being. And he had this urge, of kissing you again, so he smiled, leaning a little closer to you as he spoke, his hand tightening around your waist, pulling you closer.
"Yeah...yeah I do...every single one..."
Your eyes sparkled.
"Can I have Thor's?"
"What?" That got him off guard, and he answered really fast. "NO." No way. You stay away from him. You're mine.Â
"Why? Does he even use these things?" You were so genuinely intrigued. "Don't you talk to him through a magic mirror or something?"
"W...what..." Steve didn't know what to answer, he was laughing and shaking his head while swiping his contacts. "No, we don't have magic mirrors, I actually do have his number, look, over here 'God Of Thunder'..."
"Wow, did you actually name him 'God Of Thunder'?" You find that incredibly cute.
"Oh yeah...I'm one of those people that put's everything..." He held his phone in front of you.
"...well here it is...there's 'The Mighty Thor', the 'King of Asgard', also 'God of Thunder'...and 'Thunder God'...pick your favorite..."
You look at him while his sight is on the screen of his phone, your voice almost a whisper.Â
"And...um...what would be...my contact name?"
"Well..." Steve's eyes were glancing down to his phone at your question, wondering what he would call you. He paused for a moment, scrolling to the section of his contacts list, his thumb hovering over the small, blank box for your name. He thought for a moment longer.
"What would you want it to be...?"
And your words escaped from your mouth before you could think clearly, before you could reply with anything smart.
"What do you want me to be? âŠto you?"
Steve suddenly froze, his finger hovering over the blank contact name as your words echoed in his ears, filling his mind.Â
He straightened his pose, his eyes met yours, looking deep into them, silently trying to figure out what you'd just said.
And he finally exhaled slowly, his thoughts racing through his mind again, unable to form words for a moment. He could only manage a quiet voice, a soft whisper.
"How about...my Everything."
And there was once upon a time, a soldier who couldn't sleep asked for a wish to a fairy.
So there you were, feeling your heart has exploded into a million shining butterflies, and all the stars of the universe have made your wish come true, you took his hand and smiled.
"Your wish is granted, soldier."
END but TBC
Continue to:
2: Lucid |
3: Reverie |
4: Nightmare |
5: Awakening |
6: Dusk |
7: Hypnagogia |
8: Lull |
9: Vigil |
10: Eclipse |
Hii thanks for reading & thanks for sticking with me this far <3 I hope you liked it and it wasn't too long to boring. This is my first time writing in english, hope it wasn't terrible :3 also, this is my first time setting this thing in tumblr, so fingers crossed it worked out okay ;_; A special hug to this lady who helped me set this up @jamneuromain (I still have no idea how this works)
Love.,
Moon.
#captain america x reader#steve rogers x you#captain america x you#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x ofc#yeahidkwhatisthis
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More Simon x Goth!reader
(SFW & NSFW MDNI)
àčàŁ âđžđŠđžàčàŁ â
Simon happily listens to everything you explain about your love for goth music and the culture of it. He even researches on the side to talk to you more about it!
He's your man now, you're his girl, you both indulge in each other's interests and hobbies so of course Simon is going to be the most supportive boyfriend he can be!
"So.... What is clean goth?"
(Glaring) "We don't talk about that."
You both are so different, yet the exact same no one knows what to classify your relationship togetherâso similar in styles, the black clothes, black makeup (warpaint for Simon, and makeup for you), the gloomy aura, you both seem the same on the outside.
But when people talk to you, they immediately realize you are just a little ray of sunshine hidden in shadows, while Simon rarely ever talks and stays close to you as your big scary guard dog boyfriend privileges.
Simon definitely has some art skill, he's drawn on his own arm while on deployment to pass time (and as free therapy) so he definitely does a few tattoos for you!
When they are particularly painful spots, he's got a light hand and making sure you're alright.
He's always making sure you have your snack and drink nearby, keeping your Nintendo switch charged as a distraction so you can be relaxed when you're getting inked.
"Doin' good, hard part is almost over."
"Breathe, helps wi' the pain. You're doin' so good."
You're Simon's now, if he can make you happy then by God he's gonna do it if it's the last thing he does! If you want a tattoo in a more private area, Simons is jumping on it. Researching about the tattoo sight, best needles, best position for comfort, anything and everything. He's not gonna let some other guy tattoo the small of your back, your upper thigh, your sternum, pelvis, nope. It's just not gonna happen! He's not taking that risk of some other man putting his grimey hands on you!!
Sometimes Simon gets sad when you don't let him kiss all over your face, he just wants to show you some love :(
Your makeup might smudge, ruin all your hard work from the hours it took to get your hand steady.
Simon had an easy fix for this, he buys you top of the line makeup that's water proof and smudge proof! Even buys plenty of the made remover to take it off easily!
Now Simon gets to kiss you whenever he wants! (although he very much enjoys when your make up smudges from the tears of trying to take all of his cock, smudging your black lip stick on your lips and cheeks, your mascara and eyeliner running, but hey, it totally adds to the aesthetic!)
Simon loves obedience in general given his military work, but in love with the way you're his good girl.
He knows you live for the praise (and he's very open to anything else you're interested in on the table ;)) you're just so sweet!
Loves how you come to him with a new idea every night, almost busted in his pants when you showed him one of your slip chains with a little skull on the end of it. It's by far his favorite accessory of yours!
"Perfect thing, you are..."
"Fuuuck, you're takin' me so well, princess."
"Eyes on me, wanna watch you cum, want you to watch me cum inside you."
He's gonna pull it up high to maintain eye contact with you, nowhere you can turn your head when his cock is kissing your cervix over and over, he wants to watch your face when you cum and make a creamy ring at the base of his cock.
"like tha', don't you?"
"Pretty, perfect, gorgeous pussy, all mine..."
"Gonna cum? Yeah? Come on, fuckâ thas it, thaaass itâ"
đ« đ« đ« đ«
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod mw2#fanfic#ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x you#simon ghost smut#simon ghost fluff#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley imagine#simon x goth!reader#goth girl#goth fanfiction#cod mw ghost#cod smut#cod x reader#cod modern warfare#Simon ghost riley headcannons#cod headcanons
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hai :3 can i request an enemies to lover miguel o hara fic where they get stuck in a closet together and reader kinda has to sit on his lap because there isnt any space and so after a few minutes of being in there, reader pisses off miguel and miguel kisses them to shut them up and then the rest is history ig đââïž
PLS AND THANK YOU! đââïž
also pls make the reader speak spanish im BEGGINGGG.
CLOSET
hi! ofc you can! I did my best! Iâm sorry that it sucks and is cringyđđ
Miguel Oâ Hara x Hispanic Reader

Masterlist
Warnings: Suggestive Language, Maybe a glimpse of smut, and Miguel being an asshole
You were one of Miguelâs first recruits, you had been working in the spider society for as long as it had existed, you and Miguel were close (or you would like to consider that) since you both shared the same culture and language and it was easier for you to communicate with him when your English wasnât as good as it is (since in your universe Spanish was the predominant language) and he would be one of the few people who could understand your accent or you speaking Spanish when you forgot a word.
He took it as his personal job to teach you English until you perfected it and people who didnât know you wouldnât be able to guess that it wasnât your first language( though sometimes you still would forget words in English or express yourself better in Spanish) you would both mutually bring food for each other or bond over music, so yeah you considered yourself close to him.
That was until he started becoming way more stressed about everything, yeah he has been a sour asshole ever since his canon event, but people were at least able to get small responses and have conversations that werenât all about work with him, but as the spider society grew, he felt a lot of pressure on him and started drowning himself in work to the point that he would isolate himself for days until he got everything he needed done, he could spend weeks without sleeping and eating, and obviously as he became more stressed his memories started to impulse even worse emotions on him than they did before.
Of course this made you and your other teammates worried about him, so you started to bring him lunch, make sure he slept, and just went to see if he was okay, but you checking up on him started to annoy him as he got more irritating because of the lack of sleep and the accumulation of stress, so one day he just decided you annoyed him and soon that annoyance turned into hatred, or thatâs what he thought it was.
This made him become snappy at you and we all know he can be the greatest asshole, at first youâre patient with him, thinking it will pass, but as it gets worse you reach your ending point and lose all patience starting to respond to him the same way he talked to you.
The sudden change weirded everyone out, but they also noticed that ever since you started hating Miguel back, his mood became even worse, well everyone noticed except for you, which surprised everyone since you were one of the smartest people in the spider society.
So thats why everyone refused to go to a mission with Miguel when he asked them to, arguing that they already had a mission, or that they had something really important to do, until Miguel had no other option but to take you and you had no other option but to go with him.
âDo i reaally have to go with him? I mean canât he just ask Ben instead?â You said to Jess
âNope honey, Ben has a really important therapy sessionâ
âOkay? so then ask Gwen? Pavitr? Hobie? anyone else?â
âHe already did, theyâre all busyâ
âThen why canât you goâ
âAs important as the spider society is, I have an ultrasound appointment today, so I canât go even if I wanted toâ
âWell the world just hates me then doesnât itâ
âMaybe it does, or maybe itâs doing you a favorâ
âTrust me, being alone with him is not a favor, i donât want to be screamed at about how iâm annoying and a fucking- what was the word? uhm una carga? how did you say that?â
âA burden?â
âYeah that! I donât want to be called a burden and shit like thatâ
âYouâre no burden, but Iâll tell you what you sound like, a teenage girl, come on, youâre an adult, you can take things in a professional wayâ
âWell the one thatâs childish is him not meâ
âUh huh, well iâve gotta go, good luck!â
âYeah whateverâ
You were now approaching Miguelâs office while wishing you were dead âPuta madre neta me lleva la verga, ahora si ya no tengo de otra mĂĄs que irâ (Fuck this shit, now I really donât have any option but to go), you were starting to grow nervous as you approached his door, you hadnât been alone with him since your last fight where he directly called you annoying and a burden, but now you had no other option.
After finishing the mission without actually talking to each other unless necessary, you both came back to the HQ, when you arrived it was weirdly quiet and no one seemed to be there doing their duties even if it was not that late, which was really weird, that was until you saw Peter B. approaching you with a worried look
âHey y/n, have you seen MayDay? I canât find her, usually it takes me an hour, but itâs been four hours and I havenât been able to find her and Iâm starting to get worriedâ Peter said to you while still running up to you and then catching his breath
âOh, um Iâm sorry but we just got back from a mission so we havenât seen anything, but we can help you look!â
âNo we canâtâ Miguel said
âYes we can, anyways where was the last place that you saw her Peter?â You said after glaring at Miguel as if looks could kill
âWell, I think it was in that one room that has a closet.. I always forget what itâs calledâ
âOkay yeah, I know which one youâre talking about, letâs go take a lookâ
Miguel followed them even if he said he wouldnât be helping, Mayday being on the loose could press a lot of buttons and break a lot of things and cause a lot of problems, so there he was, inside of the closet with you, while Peter âlookedâ around the room, until they heard a loud noise of the door closing and now he was trapped inside with you, the worst thing is that because of the lack of space you ended up in his lap.
âGreat, just what I neededâ
âYou know Iâm not happy about being here with you either okay?â
âOh is that so? or was this your little plan to get me trapped with you and to get all up on my personal spaceâ
âWHAT? I would NOT do that, and I do NOT want to be in the same room as you you fucking asshole!â
âOh yeah am I an asshole? sorry I couldnât understand you with that accentâ
âWHAT? okay now youâre being unreasonable, you want me to say it in Spanish? I will, Yo no planee esto wey, yo no quiero estar en el mismo lugar que tu, yo no quiero que me hables, yo no te quiero hablar y mucho menos molestar tu pinche espacio personal, asĂ que neta hazme un favor y cĂĄllate un rato que ya no te aguanto cabrĂłn, neta deja de cagar el palo y de ser un pendejo de la nada y ni me trates de culpar porque yo ni se que chingados te hice para que me odies tanto-â. (I didnât plan this, I donât want to be in the same place as you, I donât want you to talk to me or to talk to you or even less to be all on your fucking personal space, so please do me a favor and shut up a little because I canât deal with you anymore, please stop being such an asshole out of nowhere and donât blame me because i donât even know what the fuck I did for you to hate me so much-) Thatâs when you felt something on your lips, and it took you some time to realize he was kissing you, Miguel OâHara was kissing you, you sure as hell felt as a teenage girl, butterflies in your stomach and everything.
On the other side Miguel was starting to get nervous as you didnât return the kiss, he was starting to pull away and about to say he was sorry and he didnât mean it when he felt you pulling him close and kissing him again, at first it was just a sweet kiss, but then it started to get heated, he couldnât help but moan when he started feeling you grinding against him, with each second passing making him harder, he started kissing your neck and sucking âFuck Miguel- youâre gonna leave marksâ but he didnât care, he continued, hearing your moans was paradise to him, he wanted to take you there so bad, until, they heard a knock âUm guys? are you okay?â Peter B said as he unlocked the door and opened it making Miguel groan in annoyance âThis isnât over.â he said before the door completely opened and revealed a Peter with a smiling Mayday in his arms.
#miguel oâhara x reader angst#miguel oâhara angst#miguel o hara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel oâhara x reader smut#across the spiderverse#miguel o hara x reader smut#miguel oâhara x reader fluff
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Unspoken Words pt 1
Master List
Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Readerâs daughter, other characters
Warnings: Nothing too bad, mention of single parent struggles, child with special needs.Â
A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This one is about a single mother with a nonverbal autistic daughter who loves Supernatural. The reader is going to a Supernatural Convention with her daughter and things unfold from there. The daughter character is near and dear to my heart. I have someone very close to me who is nonverbal, but heâs such an amazing kid.Â
*I know how convention photo ops work, again this is a work of fiction. I have however been in the photo op room where they accommodate a child and turn the music off and ask everyone to be as quiet as possible.Â
This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is single in this story.Â
All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, donât take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated.Â
Minors DNI 18+
My daughter Lily is such a beautiful soul. At 7 years old sheâs smart, artistic, and is obsessed with the show Supernatural. I had watched the show long before she was born, and now we watch it together as a way to bond.Â
Lilyâs father left me when I found out I was pregnant, so it had just been Lily and I since she was born. My best friend Sarah was like an Aunt to her, and was always there to help me.Â
Especially after Lily was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2. She is nonverbal, and at times it can be very hard and frustrating. Navigating being a single parent is hard enough, but being a single parent to a nonverbal autistic child is really hard. Sarah is my constant support.Â
I have an amazing job working at a local attorneyâs office in downtown Austin. Everyone there loves Lily and the attorneyâs are incredibly kind when it comes to me needing time off to take her to therapy or other appointments.Â
âHey, Y/N, did you hear thereâs a Supernatural convention in town next month, and Radio Company is playing 2 concerts the Monday and Tuesday after.â Sarah was always trying to get me to a convention or a Radio Company concert, especially in Austin.Â
âI know. I saw. I wish I could take Lily to the convention. I think sheâd love it. She might be able to handle the convention, but Iâm definitely not taking her to the concert. She would be overstimulated.âÂ
âWhat if I buy tickets to the concert and you and I go out?â I smiled, âI wish I could, but who would watch Lily?â Sarah nodded.Â
Later that afternoon I sat at my desk thinking about the possibilities, but quickly dismissed them. I knew what Lily could handle, and I knew it wasnât a concert.Â
The rest of the week was a blur. I reached out to my parents to see if it was even a possibility for them to watch Lily so I could go to the concert, but they were headed on a trip to see my Aunt Mary that week. Apparently it was a big birthday for her, so they wanted to go visit.Â
I pushed the concert and convention out of my mind. No sense in keeping my hopes up.Â
Two weeks before the convention my boss, Mr. Jones called me in his office. I noticed his brother, the other attorney was in there too. I was nervous. âY/N, take a seat, please. How have you been, howâs Lily?âÂ
âWeâre good. She is doing well in her therapy. We are going to try an adaptive device to help her communicate. Her therapist is filling out the paperwork so insurance will cover it and the program. She uses one at speech, and does well with it.âÂ
âWow, thatâs awesome. I really hope it helps her communicate easier.â I nodded.
âSo Y/N, the reason I called you in here today is we wanted to thank you for being such an amazing employee. You are selfless and give so much of yourself to the company, to your co-workers and of course Lily. When do you do anything for yourself?âÂ
I looked down at my hands and fidgeted, âI donât. Not really.â âThatâs exactly what we thought, so we got together and wanted to give you this.âÂ
He handed me an envelope. âCan I open it now?â He nodded and smiled.Â
I took a deep breath and opened the envelope and unfolded the papers inside. I softly gasped as I read them. Tears filled my eyes and spilled out, âAre you serious?â âYes, and donât worry about Lily the night of the concert, Annie is going to keep her at our house.âÂ
âOh my god, this is a dream come true. Lily is going to be so excited to go to the convention. Thank you both so much! Can I hug you?â They laughed and nodded. I wrapped my arms around them both. I couldnât believe this.Â
I went back to my desk to call Sarah. âGirl, guess what?! My bosses just gifted me tickets to the convention, complete with photo ops, and tickets to both nights of the concert. Please tell me youâre going to go with me to both. I have three tickets to the convention and two to the concerts. Annie, Mr. Jonesâ wife is going to keep Lily. Lily loves her and Annie is so good with her. Sheâs a special education teacher and is amazing at her job.âÂ
âOf course Iâll go with you. Thatâs awesome, you totally deserve it. I canât wait for you to tell Lily.â âMe either.âÂ
Later that night after Lily and I got home from speech therapy I showed her the tickets, âLook Lily, weâre going to meet Dean.â She smiled and clapped. Anytime she got excited she would clap or flap her hands. Even though she couldnât speak, she communicated in other ways.Â
Later that night Lily walked over to me with the TV remote in hand. I knew she wanted to watch Supernatural, but it was late and I was tired. âNo, Lily. Itâs bedtime. No Dean right now.âÂ
She pushed the remote at me again and huffed. âLily, no. Now go brush your teeth, itâs time for bed.â Again, she pushed the remote at me and huffed louder. âLily Ann, I said no!â She threw herself on the floor and wailed and screamed.Â
I just walked into the kitchen. I knew she was doing it to get her way. She wasnât hurt or being hurt, she was mad. So I let her feel her feelings by herself.Â
I grabbed a glass of water and drank it. Then I heard her walk into the kitchen. âAre you okay, now? I promise we will watch tomorrow.â She took my hand in hers. I hugged her and she went to bed.Â
The day of the convention finally arrived. Lily was a little overstimulated when we arrived, so I ran in to get our badges while her and Sarah waited in the car. The atmosphere was electric and I began to get very excited.Â
I went back out to the car to see if Lily was ready. âYou ready baby girl? Iâve got our tickets.â She wiggled in her seatbelt, so I let her out.Â
I grabbed her bag and headphones just in case. We walked in and her eyes went wide. I saw something in her shift.Â
Lily seemed more present, more aware of the surroundings. I was in awe.Â
I grabbed a schedule and saw Jensenâs photo ops were later. So I figured Iâd take Lily to the merchandise room and buy her a few things.Â
We were walking around looking at everything they had. Lily saw shirts and other items with Jensen on them and immediately wanted them.Â
Then I heard a laugh that instantly pulled my head in the other direction. Standing at the Radio Company table was Jensen.Â
My heart beat wildly. Lily didnât hear or see him at first, but then he started talking and she saw him.Â
Her eyes went wide and before I could stop her she ran towards him, arms wide and hugged his leg.Â
â Oh, whoâs this?â He said as I walked up. Clif was instantly by his side. I was so scared we were about to be kicked out.Â
âI am so sorry. She saw you and got away before I could grab her. Lily, let go. Come on baby.â She held tighter. Jensen smiled at me and bent down, âHello Lily. Itâs nice to meet you.â She held tighter.Â
âIâm so sorry. She doesnât speak. Sheâs nonverbal but loves Dean. We watch the show together as a way to bond. Lily, please let go. He has to leave. We have to leave.âÂ
She shook her head no. I took a deep breath trying to hold myself together. Jensen placed a hand on my shoulder, âHey, breathe. Itâs okay. Sheâs okay.âÂ
âDean!â Sarah and I stood shocked. Lily hadnât spoken in years, and even then was a babble.Â
Jensen looked at me and I at him. Tears pricked my eyes. âDean, no go.âÂ
The tears fell fast and heavy as I hit the floor.Â
Sarah gasped and looked at Jensen, âShe hasnât spoken in years.â Jensenâs eyes filled with tears and he got down beside her âHey sweetheart.â She looked up at him and smiled.Â
I was in awe of him and her. She hardly looked at anyone, let alone a stranger.Â
He reached his hand out to me and grabbed mine, âSheâs okay. Are you okay?â I nodded, âI just canât believe she talked. Iâve been alone in this, except for Sarah. Her father left and I fight everyday to make sure sheâs happy and has the things she needs in life. Her not talking scares me, so this is huge.âÂ
He leaned over and wiped the tears away. His handlers told him he had to go to photo ops. Jensen raised a finger and told them one minute.Â
I looked at Lily who was still clinging to him, âLily, itâs time for pictures. Jensen has to go. We will see him in a minute. Come on baby girl. He has to get ready for the pictures.â She looked at Jensen and then back at me, âgo?â Jensen nodded, âYes, but Iâll see you in a few minutes, okay?âÂ
Lily nodded enthusiastically. Jensen stood and helped Lily and then myself up.Â
When his hand touched mine I felt electricity through my body. I gasped softly. He smirked and winked.Â
He walked away with his handlers and Clif, before they disappeared behind the curtains Jensen turned and looked at us again. My heart was in my throat.Â
âY/N, are you okay?â I heard Sarah ask. âUm, yeah. What was that? She talked, Sarah. She talked to Jensen.â She touched my shoulder, âYeah. That was amazing. Come on, letâs get in line for the photo ops, theyâve called for gold tickets to line up.âÂ
I nodded and told Lily we were going to get our pictures taken with Jensen.Â
We stood in line and as we got closer to the door I could hear the music playing and excitement in the room. I worried about Lily so I handed her the headphones.Â
She put them on and I could tell she was getting nervous. I handed the lady our ticket to scan and then we saw Jensen. Lily tried to bolt to him again, but I held her. She started to get upset and my heart sank.Â
âWant me to take her out of here?â Sarah asked. âNo, I donât want her to miss this. She should be okay.âÂ
âLily, honey, take a breath. See, Jensen is right there. Weâre going to get a picture.âÂ
It was almost our turn and we were at the front of the line. Jensen saw us standing in line and smiled, but then turned his focus to the people getting their picture taken. They wanted an elaborate pose, props and all, which meant a bit more time. Lily was at her limit.Â
Before they could usher us up she melted down. When it was our turn Jensen looked at me and smiled, âIâm sorry, we canât do this right now. She needs a minute. Is there any way we can come back?â I asked the woman scanning the tickets.
âLet me see what we can do.â She said and I smiled. She walked over to Jensen and the photographer. The decision was to clear the room and turn off the music.Â
There were some grumbles from other fans, I understood completely, but I was amazed by their generosity.Â
Jensen walked over to me and then bent down to Lily. âHey, Lily. Want to get a picture taken with me?â She looked up and nodded.
He scooped her up, wiped her tears and grabbed my hand. Chris the photographer was so sweet. He offered a photo of just Lily and Jensen, and then all of us. âBut I only have a ticket for one.â He touched my arm, âLet me worry about that.â He smiled and I nodded.Â
Lily had her arms around Jensenâs neck and smiled bigger than Iâd ever seen her smile. My heart was so full.Â
She giggled, and kept saying âDeanâ over and over again.Â
âSweetie, his name is Jensen. Remember?â I said looking at her.
I walked over to get in the picture and Jensen put his arm around me. I looked up at him and looked in his eyes, oh how beautiful his eyes were. I lost time for a bit. Everything around me melted away.Â
âMama.â I broke eye contact and gasped. âSheâs never called me mama before.â Jensen smiled, âThatâs amazing, sweetheart.âÂ
âMama, Jensen.â Sarah was just as shocked. âMy baby is talking.â I stood and cried. Jensen held me tight.Â
âMama, Jensen go home.â I looked at her and then him. He chuckled. âNo baby, Jensen canât come home with us. He has to go to his house.âÂ
It was like a switch flipped in her. She was talking. I couldnât believe she was talking.Â
âBaby, we have to go. Jensen has other pictures to take. Come on sweetie.â She refused to let go of his neck and I was starting to panic. âJensen, Iâm so sorry. Sheâs never acted like this before. I know you have all those other people waiting.âÂ
He took my hand, âHey, itâs okay. I want her to be comfortable. Do you think sheâd be okay sitting over there until Iâm done?â He pointed to a table to the side, but in line with him. âWe could try, but you really donât have to. You donât know her or me, and donât owe us anything.âÂ
Thatâs when he cupped my face and my breath hitched, âI donât know you two, but Iâd like to. Besides, my nephew means the world to me, and I know how hard it is for my brother and sister-in-law. It definitely takes a village.âÂ
I nodded, swallowed hard, âLily, come on. Weâre going to sit right over there and wait for Jensen, okay?âÂ
She turned and looked then climbed down and sat in the chair closest to Jensen. I chuckled, âI guess itâs okay. Thank you, Jensen.â Clif stood near us and they resumed pictures.Â
In between photos Jensen glanced our way and when he looked at me he smiled. I couldnât believe everything that had happened. Lily had spoken, Jensen Ackles was being so sweet, and I was sure I was having a fever dream.Â
After photo ops Jensen was escorted out of the room, before leaving he took my hand and grabbed Lily, âCome on. Letâs go backstage.â I nodded and Sarah followed with our stuff in tow.Â
Once in the quiet solitude of backstage Jensen and I started talking. Lily curled up between us and fell asleep. I explained that when she got overstimulated for long periods of time it would drain her to the point where she needed sleep.Â
He looked down at her and smiled, âSheâs an amazing kid, Y/N. Youâre doing great.â âThank you. That means so much to me.âÂ
âSo if you donât mind me asking, tell me a little about yourself. I know you have an incredible kid, and youâre an amazing mother, but Iâd like to know more.âÂ
I bit my lip and talked. Told him about work, Lily, our lives, everything. He was completely focused on the conversation. He told me about his life, spent between here in Austin and Vancouver. He said heâd been busy with shooting schedules, but loved doing the conventions.Â
We talked about the upcoming concert, and he was excited I was going. âIâm not bringing Lily. She wouldnât be able to handle it, but Iâll be there both nights with Sarah.â He looked over at her and smiled. âIâm glad youâre coming, sweetheart.âÂ
There it was again, âsweetheartâ. It made my heart flutter and my face flush red. âWell darlinâ I have to get to a meet and greet, yâall are welcome to stay back here as long as you need. I hope to see you later.âÂ
I nodded, âThank you, Jensen. Youâve been incredible with her. I really appreciate it.â He nodded and turned to leave, stopping as he got to the door, âHereâs my number, text me so I have your number. Iâd like to make sure Lily is okay for the rest of the convention.âÂ
I took the paper, sent him a text and he smiled, âGot it. Thank you.â He winked and went out the door, leaving me and Sarah in silence. âGirl, heâs got it bad for you.â I chuckled, âYeah right, heâs just being sweet because of Lily.âÂ
âHeâs definitely being sweet to Lily, but heâs enamored with her mom too.â I rolled my eyes and laughed, but deep down I was feeling something.
My phone went off with a notification, I looked down and smiled. It was from Jensen.Â
Jensen: Hey sweetheart, I have the pictures we took. They are amazing. Iâll bring them to you soon.Â
Me: Thatâs great. I canât wait, and Jensen, thank you again for being so sweet to my Lily girl.Â
Jensen: Sheâs a great kid, Iâd like to get to know her and her mom better. That is if youâre open to that.Â
I looked at my phone and looked up at Sarah. I showed her the message, âWhat do I say?â âMaybe you want to get to know him better too.â She wiggled her eyebrows at me. âShut up you perv.â We both laughed.Â
Me: Sheâd like that, and so would I.Â
Jensen: Good. Talk to you soon sweetheart.Â
Me: I canât wait.Â
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