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has someone made a post introducing all the cardinals yet or do i have to google them myself

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you can’t kill yourself, the music is about to switch from 4/4 to 6/8. the clarinets are just about to come in bro you can’t miss that

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shoutout to butches, bitches, and people who make open source software. you are very cool

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one day i was 12 and making a deal with the voices in my head about not killing myself until i turned 13. somehow days have passed and now i'm 25 and i get to walk by the canal in the sunshine and see the geese splash around and smell the grass in the air and by god i'm alive and i'm lucky.

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nostalgia web-core tiger sharks 💾 get it as a postcard and sticker here!

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"teens are prone to tantrums and are emotionally unstable" - okay, yeah, puberty is real, and emotional regulation is a difficult skill to learn. but also. any adult person would be pissed if their opinions were disregarded, they had no say in what happens to them, their emotions and feelings were downplayed and their privacy were intruded on.

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Last thing I’m gonna say on the matter is that as the societal policing of fat bodies intensifies both on tumblr and otherwise and as ozempic usage and diet culture continues to wipe away the performative faux body positivity companies previously exhibited when pretending to support ‘plus size’ people was still trendy, it is now more important than ever for leftists to give a shit about fat liberation. The diet industry wants to sell us starvation on a silver platter as if bodily conformity alone can nourish us. You can’t topple capitalism without toppling the diet industry and the fatphobia it’s shilled to us in the process. :)

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we have all noticed that "self-care" basically ended up as a replacement word for "pampering" in a marketing lexicon and not as an active set of behaviours intended to allow the body and brain to adequately rest and revive in the face of the ceaseless crushing grind of capitalism yes

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collapses in your arms princess style after casting the biggest evil most fucked up spell you've literally every seen

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Interesting….

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by the way the fact that "youre treating me like a child/animal" arre synonymous to "youre treating me badly" really shows how we as a societyy treat animals and minors.

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The way that ppl treat kids is rlly gross to me actually

Children aren't stupid, maybe you just don't listen to them ever

Children don't have "cringe interests," maybe you're just mean

Children have good ideas, and deserve to be respected. No, I don't care if that child is 4 or 14, you should *listen to the kids in your life* instead of being an ass

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Why is it that parents like talking about “consequences” so much, when they really mean “punishments”?

Adults experience consequences all the time. You’re rude to somebody, so they’re rude to you. You stay up late, so you feel tired. You don’t study enough for a test, so you get a C. For any parents still confused about the meaning of words, this is what “consequences” are. They aren’t fun, but they’re risks that you accept when you mess up in this way.

Even beyond that, adults seem to recognize these as bad ideas specifically because of the consequences.

So why is it that kids have to face both consequences AND punishment?

A kid who’s rude to somebody not only has that person mad at them. They get punished. I remember a time when my 7-year-old friend slapped her little sister; not only was her sister mad at her, but her mom was too. This girl had to face consequences, and a time-out (read: period of forced isolation), and her next visit to my house was canceled. This disagreement was none of the mother’s business, but her involvement left my friend feeling distraught, ashamed, and probably even angrier than she did when she slapped her sister in the first place. Even if you disagree with me on the first point, and you think the mom had a responsibility to get involved, you can’t deny that she left the situation worse than she found it. This is what parents do with “responsibility”. …And that’s not even counting the obvious collateral damage, that I didn’t get to see my friend! To summarize: my friend hurt someone; she faced consequences; she was punished; she was punished again; I was also punished; the underlying issue was never addressed.

A kid who doesn’t study enough for a test not only gets a bad grade on their record forever, but often has to prove to their parents that they still deserve (what’s the best word…) “enrichment”. Kids who do poorly in school can be forcibly removed from extracurriculars and isolated from their peers, all at their parents’ discretion. Parents might also take away significant rewards, like gifts and school trips. (I don’t actually know much about this one, because my parents’ corrective measures were largely preventative— so, as a kid, I was never allowed to be unprepared academically. If these things don’t happen, or if your parents do something different, please feel free to add.) I think this example is of particular note, because there could be any number of reasons a kid does poorly on a test. The teacher could be doing badly, the study resources could be missing, or— most obviously— the kid might just be overwhelmed. School, along with after-school extracurriculars that kids are often enrolled in to facilitate their parents’ work schedules, is essentially a full-time job plus a massive amount of extra work, which kids are enrolled in without their consent and without recognition of its unreasonable standards. In cancelling extracurriculars as a punishment for bad grades, parents seem to at least partially recognize this as an issue— but they always seem to go after those few parts of a kid’s life that might be keeping them afloat.

A kid who stays up late doesn’t just feel tired. A kid who stays up late does so in silence and near-darkness, trying to relax, trying to enjoy themselves for once, while also. Constantly. Listening. If you hear a creak in the hall you freeze. You shut your laptop or hide whatever you were reading, and you fall down on the bed and close your eyes and lie still. One minute, two minutes, five minutes. Maybe it’s your dad, and you plead with him to keep this quiet, but you hold that fear in you the whole night and the whole morning, just knowing that he says he cares, but that doesn’t mean he’ll protect you. Maybe it’s your mom and you know this is going to be a problem tomorrow. You go to sleep with dread that pools and pools and pools until you wake up in the morning breathing hard from a nightmare exactly identical to what you’ve just seen. You dream about what happens when she finds you. You’re the one who starts the conversation, you’re the one who apologizes and prostrates yourself and promises never to be awake at the wrong time again.

That seems personal because it is personal. My parents weren’t all that big on dramatic punishments— they were far more inclined to lectures. But NEVER underestimate the power of a solid lecture. By power here, of course, I mean shame and dread and anger and despair. No matter how many times we talked, no matter how many times I promised, I did not end up going to bed any earlier, because I simply cannot do that. Even now, even with no mother to watch for light under my door, even though I still carry this same anxiety whenever I stay awake that late, even though I feel tired most days because of it, I simply cannot go to bed at a normal time. I cannot even want to.

I think that’s the core of it. I live with my consequences. I’ve chosen them. But my punishments— inflicted upon me by someone else’s standards, someone who was determined to believe that I needed every one of those talks— were never my choice. How I felt during those talks are some of my worst memories. And the saddest thing is, none of it worked.

My parents said they were protecting me from consequences. To put it simply, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. This sort of worldview lets a parent traumatize their children repeatedly, while attempting to solve a problem that has nothing to do with them, in a way that will not work, all while claiming to be acting according to their responsibilities, and while failing to provide their kids with any functional form of support. If you think “taking responsibility” means hurting your kids so nobody else will, expect them to understand that the dangers of the “real world” you keep warning them about are undeniably worth escaping your abuse. If you think you are doing the right thing by assigning external value to your child’s actions and requiring them to meet your standards of behavior for you to treat them with respect— which will forever tie their self-image to other people’s perceptions of them— I seriously encourage you to reevaluate. If being a good parent makes you a bad person, don’t be a good parent. Be a good person.

If you’re living through this right now, I’m so sorry. No matter how well-intentioned your parents are, their imposed “consequences” should not be relevant to your life.

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they love power, they love feeling in control (especially since behind the scenes at school they rarely have any power or control), they love getting to be the perpetrator instead of the victim. for every good or even just like, Not Traumatic teacher i had, i had multiple Actively Malicious teachers. some of them truly, truly get off on the power trip and on getting to make someone else feel small and weak and helpless.

teachers leave such a lasting impact on you but it's rarely in a good way. why are you shouting at a 14 year old for making a typo in a document that's still being written don't you have other things to do?

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Give Us Roses While We’re Still Here Transgender Day of Remembrance // Nov. 20th

This is just a poster I made the other day. I love all of my trans* family, and I hope you take the day for remembrance & self care. 

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C A N E N D A R

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