#best grandpa batman

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce sends birthday gifts to all his grandchildren Jason's goons.

Love this. A couple possible scenarios popped into my head and I can’t decide which is funniest:

1) Red Hood guilt trips Batman in public while accompanied by his four goons with the best sad puppy dog eyes. Bruce caves immediately.

2) Bruce does this as a way of making sure everyone knows Red Hood is Batman’s kid. Not Wonder Woman’s. If claiming Red Hood’s goons is what it takes for Jason to acknowledge Bruce as his dad he’ll take it. Gladly.

3) Bruce does this as a way of making sure everyone knows Red Hood is Bruce’s kid. That’s right. Brucie Wayne, Gotham’s favorite himbo, emotionally adopted the infamous Red Hood. (Everyone is too scared to ask about legally.) If Jason won’t acknowledge his relation to Bruce then he’ll have to get creative. Adopting a crime lord is far from the worst thing the press has supposedly caught him doing, and the look on Jim Gordon’s face at the Mayor’s Ball was an added bonus that he will cherish forever.

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

I was thinking of how battinson or just Bruce wayne I'm general should have a sleeper build till I had that thought

Alfred should have a sleeper build

He should be a buff grandpa

He should

Please

Do you see the vision?

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Listen; yes, Bruce has no context whatsoever for how to raise a child, but he also has a habit of responding to situations where he doesn’t know something by studying the subject obsessively. He came here clueless and decided to take an overhaul doctorate education in childcare about it.

While I absolutely love the " Battinson has no idea what to do with a kid beside love it with everything in him, and Alfred sighs in Competent Guardian" trope, I offer you:

Alfred watching Bruce make sure Dick has a curfew, getting involved with school activities like bake sales and and art projects, goes to the doctor regularly, has playdates and actual social life, all Responsible Parent Things he most definitely Did Not Do:

[savanir]

DP x DC prompt [3]

during one of the final psych evals at Arkham right before he gets to be released, the whole thing wrapped up so tidy, just a little relapse which involved a robbery. Getting sent back to Arkham, but he got to stay at the asylum so long that he no longer has to serve a prison sentence, score!

But during that eval his overseeing psychiatrist recommended him to have a change of scenery, some fresh non polluted air.

Riddler was rather convinced the guy was making this recommendation to everyone in Arkham in their own weird way to convince them to just leave Gotham and become someone else's problem. should he notify Batman about it somehow? nah, it’ll be more interesting to see how this is gonna turn out in the long run.

But can he leave the state? Can he even leave the city? he never really bothered to look into it, at least not legally, up until now if he felt he needed to leave for one of his plans he just did it.

Turns out he can, it’s a whole hassle and a half though, first a judge and then a probation officer and he’s pretty sure both were like “what the hell is this psychiatrist guy thinking!?” but at the same time, shrink probably knows what he’s doing (WRONG) so he’s allowed to go visit out of state family or whatever.

he had to wear this nice ankle monitor though, Wayne Enterprises™ tech, not overly bulky but still very present. real fancy, and a fun extra challenge heh.

now as for a good reason to leave New Jersey he’s going to need distant relatives, and he finds some, great grandpa walker also has a son, who had a son who had a daughter Madeline, who married some guy Jack Fenton, and she lives somewhere out in the boonies Illinois. great he’ll visit her.

far enough away in all sense of the word that there is no way she knows anything about him. it would be best to call her first though, be polite about it.

“hello, you have reached Fenton works, this is Maddie speaking” 

“Riddle me this-” ah whoops, habit, oh whatever, “we don’t share parents, but certainly a part of your life, from laughter to strife. Who am I?”

there is a pause …  he’s going to be a bit disappointed if she hangs up if he’s honest.

“cousins~” comes the cheery reply.

“correct! the name is Edward Nygma, we are distantly related you and I and well-”

“oh you simply must come visit!” 

well this was rather easy, perhaps a little too easy, but she lives in the midwest so maybe just going with whatever some guy says over the phone is normal there? stranger danger not really a thing in a small town where everyone knows everyone?

things start to make a little more sense once he gets there and he’s starting to think some things might run in the family. like a preference for the colour green and weird hyperfixations and genius bordering on insanity. Though that remains to be seen, Jack does not seem like a very bright light after his very enthusiastic welcome.

their kids however are observant and sharp. young Jasmine is wasting no time trying to psychoanalyze him. and the boy, Danny, he had not really meant to and he swears he’s sticking with calling the kid Danny so he wouldn’t seem overly familiar, but he might have called him little bird a couple times now.

but that’s all whatever, he’s playing nice here. and he doesn’t even have to worry about his eccentricities tripping him up because this place is insane.

There actually is a local teen vigilante active but he seems about as loved as he’s disliked. and the ghost boy’s enemies are basically all his own kind, which another crazy thing to now know about. ghost. they are real actually, how is Gotham not completely overrun? and how do they even work? and where do they keep coming from?

Edward might be getting a little sidetracked here. He had fully intended to sneakily get his next big game plan underway all the way out here, ankle monitor be damned. but he hasn’t made any progress at all.

Instead he’s been listening to Madeline and Jack to maybe figure out what the deal is with these ectoplasmic entities, he has to know, at this point he might go crazier if he doesn’t. 

He’s making Jasmine promise him not to get her doctorate in Gotham, he’s going back and forth with space riddles with Danny.

so yeah the whole thing kinda just became a vacation, maybe the psychiatrist had the right idea after all? hmm nah, probably not. but this is fun. He’s thinking about recommending this place to some of the others.

It's different enough to get the vacation feel, but enough crazy shit happens to make it all feel like home.

it is not until Maddie wants to talk with him about potentially switching the position of godfather of Danny to him rather than some weird rich friend of theirs that Edward realizes he might have lost the plot somewhere

Apparently the little bird basically begged them with a powerpoint presentation on how he likes Edward so much more than that Vladimir guy. 

And honestly, the fellow sounds like a Dracula Lutho so even if it’s kinda sad Edward can understand why he’d be considered a better option. Even if the guy has more money and a huge company that makes him said money. And it’s not like the Fentons know about his Riddler activities.

Thinking it over, Edward does think that Danny would like Gotham and Wayne has that space program thing right? The kid is definitely smart enough for that (Nygma certified), and yeah Edward does quite like their space themed back and forth. So, fuck it, why not, what is the worst that could happen?

He doubts Maddie and Jack are gonna kick it any time soon anyway out here in the boonies, it’s just a title thing, a stamp of approval or something.

he should have known he was going to eat those words later… he had this whole beautifully elaborate trap set up for the whole Batclan, and he was just getting to the good part when his phone went off.

Had to put the whole thing on pause cause that particular contact wasn’t gonna get ignored. He did promise to be available.

If the whole thing he had planned now went tits up he could at the very least laugh later at the reactions of the bats as he told them to “hold up one second, I have to take this.” while they were all in various perilous positions. 

Sadly he did have to go, he had a very distressed godson to pick up.

[wonderjanga]

JL meets C.C.

So, the Justice League goes back in time to 1957 because some villain, let’s say Lex Luthor travelled to back then too for whatever reason. So now they have to stop him. Cue shenanigans and then while they’re trying to find Lex, John (I think this is my first post with John Stewart as GL) sees a newspaper that has C.C. and Marilyn on it. The newspaper talks about an Incan artifact they found. As they have literally nowhere to go, they go to see if C.C. can help them as they could use the extra firepower. (They think he’s Marvel and also literally everyone is against them, Lex turned the government against them by calling them foreign invaders. Remember this is both less than 15 years after WW2, and this is also two years into Vietnam.) C.C. would get dragged along because Lex thinks he’s Marvel so he’d also get shot at and all that. Here’s some interactions I think would happen:

Batman: *Takes off cowl because there’s no way Marvel should know him, and future Marvel already knows his identity*

C.C.: *stares at Bruce for a bit and thinks he’s Thomas Wayne* “Hey… you’re Patrick’s boy, right? Why’re you running around in a bat costume? Also how did you age thirty years in the two months since I last saw you?”

(Let’s say this is the same universe as the Great Grandpa Wayne and C.C. post)

Batman: *Gets flashbacks*

or

*Under heavy fire from robots because Lex teamed up with the government to mass produce robots for the war effort, money and so he could kill them. C.C., Flash, and GL are all kinda laying on the floor while bullets rain above them*

C.C.: (By the way, all of them are yelling over the sound of the bullets, cause bullets are really loud) “Can we wrap this up? I want to get back to my wife.”

Flash: “You have a wife?!” *completely shocked and betrayed one of his best buddies didn’t tell him this*

C.C.: *grabs some stuff from around them and starts making something* “Yeah.” *pauses his making his thing and sighs dreamily* “Marilyn.” (Bro really loves his wife) *goes back to making whatever he’s making*

GL: “What’re making?”

C.C.: “What?”

(Again, they’re yelling over a bunch of bullets)

GL: “What are you making?”

C.C.: “Oh! A shrapnel grenade!” *Finishes and throws it out of one of the many holes made by the bullets*

*loud explosion, guns stop. The three lay on their stomachs on the ground in silence*

GL: “Why do you know how to make that?”

C.C.: “I wasn’t able to dodge the draft.”

or

C.C.: “You’re an Atlantean?” *Slowly looks over to Arthur* “Tell me everything.” *pulls out pocket notebook that’s decorated with stickers, courtesy of a seven year old Mary*

Aquaman: *Happy to share anything about his culture and people* “I can tell you anything but its location.”

C.C.: “Fine by me! I just want to know everything.” *suddenly gets super intense*

*League looks at each other cause this is a rare time Marvel is actually actually serious*

[emdeerm]

I'm a Grandpa? Again?!

My brain got away from me. srry

This might be a horrible, horrible idea that will have so many butterfly and directs effects on the DC canon that I know nothing about but...

Consider this: Bruce is Danny's clone/test-tube baby.

Danny has lived for many, many years and somewhere along the lines, he got his DNA stolen again (in his human form mind you) by someone and they made a clone/baby (most likely cause the child would destabilise without more DNA. Human Danny is just 1/3 of the DNA he has). Maybe the League and Ra's is responsible. Maybe some other party I have no knowledge about. Maybe it was GIW. But it happens.

Anyway, whoever succeeded, had some intentions with the clone if it had powers. He did not. Was a failure and was dumped as a 3yo in Gotham. Tom and Martha Wayne found him and adopted the child.

Now, Danny doesn't know it. He just goes around, living his best life with his partner/(s), works somewhere new every 5-6 years or so, trying out new professions when he wants. When his DNA got yonked, he was a practicing cook. By the time Batman is old enough with all his kids he is a doctor or something.

Let's throw in the Ghost King for fun. Love the trope. Could be just him being a super strong and respected Ghost in the Realms who helps himself to Pariah's treasury. Not like the guy needed it anyway.

So, YEARS pass. All parties are unaware. Meta human protection happens. Ecto Acts get ruled out automatically by the Government somewhere in a list of all stuff that change. The Ghosts haven't been sighted for over 30 years. The Government disbanded GIW wven esrlier just cause they were a moneh draining leach. The JL didn't even pay that much attention honestly (let's say Batman wasn't there for some reason to check the final copy), just one more thing that changed for the better in their eyes.

So, Danny and his kind are now legally in the clear. Does he so something with it? Well, not much. Just uses his powers more freely. His rogues don't find the Living Realm all that interesting now and just come to Phantom to play. Except Sculker. That ass is still unbearable.

...

I got sidetracked from my original idea. Anyway-

...

Damian in school has to do the ancestory assignment. And finds out that he has a weird relation to this Random DudeTM. (Maybe Tom's and Martha's DNA was indeed used in the process of creation. Who knows, maybe it was their doing all along in the name of Doctor Science. Idk. All options are fun) Came out of nowhere. The relation is unclear too.

That gets brought up to Father. Father is surprised. Investigation happens.

The Bats are flabbergasted by the results.

Danny gets the news that he is a surprise Granpa again (Dani was the first one to come with a grandchild out of nowhere. Adopted. You know what? Let it be Cass. Let her have a traveling super mom).

[thewitchblue]

"What do you mean you were in love with John Constantine at one point?"

Bruce asked. He was in denial and disbelief. Constantine is his age! What is he doing with his daughter?

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. Bruce dates women twenty years younger than him all the time. What's the big deal with John?

"Not 'used to.' She currently is in love with Constantine."

Tim added unhelpfully. You turned to him with a look of betrayal, but he merely sipped his coffee with a smile. He watched the drama unfold like a cat watched a glass they hit fall to the floor. You turned on him in an instant,

"Oh, you want to go there, Tim? Tim is engaged!"

Tim choked on his coffee when Bruce turned his disapproving gaze at him. He didn't even tell you about his fiancée. He thought he hid him better than that. How did you find out?

"Why don't we all calm down?"

Dick tried to soothe the heated battle about to happen before everyone in the Batcave.

"Dick, don't act like you don't have secrets, too. You impregnated Starfire twice. When were you going to tell Bruce he's a grandpa?"

Bruce whipped his head to Dick. He could feel his hair go grey the more secrets come out. What the hell happens when he goes out? Why didn't Alfred stop you guys?

Jason laughed loudly until your baleful eyes landed on him. What do you know? There's so much shit he's done.

Tim was still recovering from his coffee choke when you said,

"Jason had sex with Roy in the Batmobile."

The look of horror on Bruce's face calmed your anger slightly. Good for Jason. You didn't care why he did what he did. They had sex in the driver's seat. It's not like you sit there.

"How the fuck do you know about that?!"

Jason was floored. He had made triple sure he was alone in the manor when he had sex with Roy. He originally wanted to do it in Bruce's bed as a power move, but he couldn't stomach the idea of contaminating Roy with Bruce's cologne, so he settled for the Batmobile.

"It's TRUE?!"

Bruce snapped back in disbelief. You watched in satisfaction as Jason quickly started backpedalling.

"Of course not! I would never, well, not never, but I haven't fucked anybody in the Batmobile."

Bruce couldn't believe his ears. He was horrified about what else you could be withholding.

"I'll let you continue dating Constantine IF you tell me everything you know."

Every single kid screeched,

"NO!"

What else do you know? The other kids didn't want to know. Damian had the gull to say,

"It will be considered an act of war if you tell father anything relating to me."

You snorted an amused laugh. Yeah, sure, pipsqueak. You said,

"Damian has hidden a girlfriend from you for two years."

Damian reached for his sword, but John portaled into the Batcave with a lit cigarette before he could draw it. He said smoothly,

"Date time, love."

You gave them all a cold smile. Oh, this wasn't over. You had more dirt to bury them with.

You took John's offered hand and kissed him quickly. You turned and bowed with a mocking smile.

"Until next time, losers."

You said while waving goodbye. You followed John through a wormhole he opened into a bar in Ireland. Your favourite bar.

The chaos that followed when you left turned into a war of blackmail.

"Jason is still dating Roy and adopted Lian!"

"Dick is married!"

"Tim uses Connor's heat vision during sex!"

"Damian almost got a girl pregnant!"

Bruce was so overwhelmed by the chaos of five children ganging up on each other.

He felt like he was learning his children for the first time. He can't handle all this information. He saw them all in a new light.

"Cass is dating Wonder Woman!"

Cass twirled a dagger threateningly in her hand. She would be out for blood if Bruce dared to reject her relationship. She is the best person prepared to take out Batman. Her mother would be so proud at the discomfort Bruce felt when her gaze pierced through him. Bruce felt exhausted. He asked,

"Are you all done?"

They had all run out of blackmail veey quickly, but the tension was thick in the air. Bruce grounded everyone and said he would handle Gotham with you and you alone. Outrage spread like wildfire.

"That's not fair!"

"I don't live in this city!"

"My AK-47 thinks otherwise."

Tim was passed out with this head on the keyboard of the Batcomputer. If he's going to be grounded, he can at least sleep. He'll find blackmail against you again.

You got engaged and then married that same night, and you texted Bruce to let him know before Tim could hack into government websites and find the marriage certificate.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT MARRIED?!"

Bruce yelled. He called you the minute he got your text. You smiled on the other side of the phone while John listened in with a whiskey bottle in his hand. He grinned at you before taking a long swig from the bottle.

"I'm married. You have to deal with that."

You said in a deadpan tone. What's so hard to comprehend?

Bruce sighed. He wished it was anybody else. He'd even take one of his villains over John Constantine. Constantine is a weaselly man who is often more trouble than he's worth.

Bruce sighed on the other side of the phone. Everybody who was in the cave heard his explosion and began listening in.

"There's nothing I can do to convince you to divorce him, is there?"

You chuckled, and Bruce admitted defeat in that moment. You told him in a light-hearted tone,

"Nope. You're stuck with John for life now, dad."

Bruce groaned at the thought. Why are his children dating his colleagues? You sent phone kisses before hanging up.

"How'd he take it, love? I heard him scream."

You laughed. There is nothing Bruce can do. You aren't the first one to get married, but you are the first one to give John Constantine a chance.

John is loyal despite being a total prick. He's kind towards those he cares about, and he's gentle unless you cross him. He's a guarded man with many secrets and a worrisome past, but he stole your heart, and that's what matters.

"He has no choice but to get over it. We're not divorcing."

John smirked. He loves your attitude. You don't care one bit about what others think; not even your own family's opinions and thoughts matter. You paved your own path and don't care one bit about who disapproves.

John sets down the whiskey bottle and wraps his arms around you. He rests his head on top of yours as he holds you. He never in a thousand lifetimes thought he'd get married or find the love of his life, yet here he is: holding his most precious love.

"I love you."

His voice was quiet, as if his love for you was still a secret between the two. You buried your face in his chest and said in a muffled voice,

"I love you so much, John."

[evilminji]

You know what would be hilarious? The Totally Normal Collage Life of one Valerie Gray(tm)!

She PROMISED you see.

It is fuled by the unspeakable rage of every one of her ancestors trying to do their damn job at on 2 hours of sleep and no coffee. Maternal line, of course. Her FATHER'S bloodline is bizarrely chill.

But dear LORD you should have seen her grandpa yeeting hooligans into composting heaps for getting in the way of his early morning baking. You don't MESS with grandpa's bakery, people learned THAT fast. Long time Amity natives the lot of um! All sorts of interests. That side of the family got real... ob.. sessive....

Waaaaaait a second. She's connecting some dots.

Not important! (Currently.)

See, her dad WORRIES. And SHE worries cause her dad worries. So she PROMISED! No funny business. No ghosts. And NO, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, crime fighting! Just go to her classes and get good grades. Focus on setting her self up for a good future.

O7 yes sir, dad sir! Fuck them ghosts and their nonsense!

So she studied like the brilliant young woman she is. Got FANTASTIC scholarships. Checked out the various colleges. And??

Honestly?

Vibes were RANCID.

Some city's were too... twee? If that makes sense? And some too "time fucky". Others felt "magical nonsense" and "barren Ectoplasmic wasteland"? And the last few were just kinda racist, so that was not happening. Like the CITIES were fine! But the SCHOOLS were... Subtext Heavy.

She might have had to break somebody if she stayed their too long.

She's heard Paulina's going to one of those, though. So... Ha! Rip in pieces fuckos. She honestly can't wait too see THAT gruesome trainwreck from a safe distance. Paulina's gonna THRIVE. Its probably why she even CHOSE that school.

Where was she? Oh, right!

She's deeply fucked and it's Batman's fault!

See, Valerie? Kinda chose Gotham U. It... wasn't her WISEST choice for her "totally normal, crime fighting free, young adult adventures(tm)" but like? What can you do? Gotham just feels so HOMEY!

And MAYBE she gets a little too relaxed. Too tired from a long day of studying.

Some rando tries to mug her with riddles or something! Look, she was TIRED. Not listening. She kicks his ass and goes home. And the plant protest lady. Or that crocodile not-a-ghost?! And YEAH, maybe flying to class wasn't the BEST idea! But like?

How was SHE supposed to know someone saw her?!

@hdgnj @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation

[satoshy12]

Danny is a clone of all Batman villains and Jack and Maddie Fenton

But being a hero or villain had bad effects on your health. So, as they wanted two children,

they did it the only normal way! They cloned a baby! As ex-villains, that was the best idea! That was how Daniel/Danny was created on their first try! Well, they had to enhance him, but it worked out.

So Danny was a clone of all the Batman villains and themselves!!

++

Danny always knew about it, like Jazz, but he didn't really care about it. His parents told him that as a child.

While looking like his parents, his personality is crazy, but that is Just Fenton for the outside Not Arkham.

And Mom and dad raised him. So they are his parents. +

Well, Dani was very confused! She thought Template was a normal person, but nope, he is a clone like her. So she is a clone of a clone? COOL! And that means!

She has many grandpa's and grandma's!! = More Birthday Gifts!

+

His DNA Donors are the Villians that were active 14 years ago. Yes they had succesful Clone with Ivy's DNA what she failed.

[clockwayswrites]

A Broken Sort of Normal Part 11

WC 1326, Masterpost CW: anxiety

“Hey, kid,” Flash the older said as he raced up beside Danny.

“Still not a kid, old man,” Danny replied. It was already a well worn argument by this point after several dinners or weekend meals over at the Flash’s household. Sure it was used before that, but once Danny had started seeing Barry out of the mask, he’d only been worse about it. Danny guessed it was their thing now. It was weird to have ‘things’ again with people, but a good sort of weird.

“Still not an old man, kid. I’m not even a grandpa yet!”

Danny almost dropped the tablet he was working on. Barry didn’t have any kids, not aside from Wally who might as well count. Did that mean…?

“I’d tell you to watch your sass in your new position,” Barry continued, unaware or uncaring of Danny’s sudden crisis about the idea of children, “but one, I’d be a hypocrite and two, it’s a solid third of the reason I recommended you.”

“Well, that’s good because the sass isn’t going awa— wait, what new position?”

Barry grinned under his mask in a way that just felt dangerous. Not, like, dangerous in general, but dangerous for Danny who was the focus of that smile. “You’ll see. Flash Two will pick you up Monday at nine am. Don’t worry, you’re cleared off work already.”

“Fla— and he’s gone. That’s great. What the fuck,” Danny said to himself. It was a struggle to focus on finishing up the post event check in and then his reports and then going over his team’s report and then some more paperwork, but Danny managed. As soon as he got home he was immediately was texting Wally.

After the Reveal, Danny had gotten Wally’s civilian number too, but there were strict rules for using that number. Danny understood the caution. Apparently the first number he had been given was encrypted by Batman’s crew, which was crazy to think about, even when he was dating a Flash, so there were less rules other than no civilian names. Just for the ease of it, Danny mostly stuck to the old number unless they were planning a purely civilian date. Or if Danny wanted to say things that he knew would make Wally blush. Things Danny would very much never want anyone else to read. They may have mostly kept to kissing in person, but teasing Wally was just too much fun.

Danny: Why is Big!Flash having you pick me up on Monday??? What did he mean about a ‘new position’?????? I like my job! FLASH!

Quick Boy: You’ve got to give me a second to answer, dude!

Danny: You’re supposed to be fast. 😑

Quick Boy: Who’s always telling me electrical signals can only move so fast?

Danny: FLASH 🤬

Quick Boy: Sorry, babe, I’m not allowed to tell! But you’ll love it! Promise!

Danny: 🥺

Quick Boy: Don’t make those eyes at me! Trust me, babe, just wait until Monday.

Danny: Fine. But know I’m pouting.

Quick Boy: 😭

Danny behaved. He didn’t bother for updates. He sent more cats dressed as Justice League members and finished off the last Percy Jackson book, sending Wally updates along the way. But the whole weekend the fact that he apparently had a new job he knew nothing about and would be taken to Monday churned in the back of his mind.

It made him anxious in a way that he hadn’t been since he left Amity Park for Central city.

He didn’t much like it.

-

“Please at least tell me that I’m dressed fine for this new job?” Danny asked when he opened the door to Wally’s knock.

He didn’t really have many other options if Wally said no, he already had on his best dark jeans, cleanest boots, and his new cross body bag. He might have a button up shirt he could change into instead of the long sleeve one he was in, but that was as good as it was going to get. He just didn’t have business casual clothes with the jobs he had.

“You look fine,” Wally said.

“Not exactly a supersuit,” Danny said with a sigh, taking in Wally’s uniform.

Wally pressed a quick kiss to Danny’s cheek. “Not the kind of hero you are.”

That was something Wally had been doing, insisting that Danny was a hero. Whenever he protested, it only seemed to make Wally more insistent so Danny mostly let it be. Plus, the cute smile Wally got for ‘winning’ was nice to see.

It was gracing Wally’s lips now as Danny stepped out of his apartment, locked the door, and shoved the keys securely in his bag. One lost set of keys due to super speed was enough to make sure they were safely clipped in from then on.

“Okay. Right, let’s get this over with.”

“It’s a good thing,” Wally insisted as he squatted down for Danny to climb onto his back, “not your execution or anything.”

“I just don’t like not knowing,” Danny said.

“You love surprises.”

“Little surprises like picnics and presents, not life changing ones.”

“You’ll love it,” Wally insisted and then they were off.

-

“I’ll love an abandoned warehouse?”

“Apparently abandoned warehouse,” Wally stressed with a wave of his hands, like he was a two-bit magician.

“Convincing appearance. Once again, Flash, it’s a good thing you’re a hero because this as serial killer vibes.”

The windows were blacked out. There was a heavy layer of dust on most surfaces. The stairs to the foreman office were long rusted away. It was a mess.

But there was that feeling of being watched that crawled up Danny’s spine. None of the dust actually moved as they crossed the floor over to Barry. And the doors were either welded shut or solidly reinforced.

“Ready kids?” Barry asked.

“Still not kids,” Danny replied almost absently.

“Still don’t care!” Barry pressed one of the bricks on the wall and the whole thing shuddered and pulled back like some massive pocket door to reveal a… a portal behind the wall.

“Ta-da!” Wally said, complete with jazz hands.

Danny couldn’t tear his eyes away from the portal to look at him.

Did they know? Was this…?

“Danny?”

“What?” Danny started, forcing himself to look over at Wally who was beside him again.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Danny winced. He just couldn’t hold back the twitch of his body at that word. “Sorry. Um, so what is that?”

“A Zeta tube, it’s how we travel to the Justice League. It’s like a transporter,” Barry explained.

Okay, right, not a portal to the Ghost Zone. No one knew. He was safe. Danny closed his eyes. It was just a transporter that looked a lot like a portal.

Wally rested his hand on Danny’s arm and Danny almost jumped from the light touch. “Babe?”

“Um, remember how I told you there was an accident in my parent’s lab when I was a kid? Yeah, um, sorta similar look, is all. It just freaked me out for a moment.”

"Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Wally said. He squeezed Danny’s arm gently.

“No way you could have known. Who has a phobia over portals, right?” Danny said as he summoned his best attempt at a smile for Wally.

“Are you okay to…” Wally glanced from Danny to the portal nervously.

“I, yes? Can you just explain to me how it will go?” Danny asked. He pressed himself close to Wally, doing what he could to scrape together his frayed nerves. It wasn’t like he hadn’t gone through the actual portal that had killed him all the time. It was just that now all that felt like a lifetime ago, a lifetime no one remembered but him.

“Of course, babe,” Wally said, twining their arms together before he launched into a passionate explanation of the Zeta tubes.

It would be alright.

He could do this.

He had Wally.

-----

AN: Wally and Barry: We have something so cool to show you! Danny: *has portal based ptsd* ._.

I no longer tag people, but you can subscribe to the masterpost!

[wondersinwaynemanor]

when Lian started calling Bruce "Grandpa", his kids didn't want him to forget it.

Bruce passing by outside of Dick's room.

Dick, announces in his loudest voice: Ay, there's Bruce Wayne! The best Grandpa in town. No wait, second best, after Alfred.

Bruce gives his eldest a look.

Dick, lowers his voice: Sorry B, Alfred is the best in everything.

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce stands up from his chair at the dining area to get more tea.

Cass, smiles as she hands Bruce the teapot: Here. Don't tire yourself.

Bruce: Thank you, Sweetheart. But I can get my own tea-

Cass, signs "Grandpa" and leans down to kiss Bruce on the cheek.

Bruce, can't help but smile: Hn.

Steph, peaks through the door of Bruce's study room: Oooh, what's this I hear? Brucie Wayne, famous billionaire and playboy, is now a Grandpa? What would the ladies say? What would the male nation say now?

Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose and focuses on the papers on the table: Hn.

Red Robin, speaks through the comms: I'll drive the Batmobile to you.

Batman: RR, I got it. Stay there-

Red Robin: Nah, I heard you complaining about your back pains the other night.

Batman: It's a regular occurance at this point of my life.

Red Robin, smirks: And we don't want it to be worse, right?

Batman sighs through the comms.

Red Robin: Exactly. ETA 10 minutes. Grandpa.

Batman, growls: Hn.

Duke: Just checking if you need anything before I head out for patrol, B.

Bruce, smiles: I appreciate it. Thank you Duke, but I'm good.

Duke: Steph and Tim said-

Bruce, narrows his eyes: What did they say to you?

Duke, grins: Nothing!

Bruce thinks Duke has left the Batcave but he suddenly shouts,

Duke: Watch your steps carefully when you come back up here, Grandpa. Maybe put more lighting in your cave.

Bruce: Hn.

Damian: How does it feel to be a Grandfather now, Father?

Bruce, smiles instantly: Really good. Lian is wonderful.

Damian, tries to hide a smile: I'm aware, Father. Does this mean Richard gets to be Batman again?

Bruce: What makes you say that?

Damian: Cus I don't you working too hard like Grandfather. That was unhealthy.

Bruce: I'm perfectly healthy, Damian. No need to worry-

Damian, turns off the batcomputer: I insist, Father. We shall put you to bed now.

Bruce: Isn't that my job?

Damian: I don't want to hear another word.

Bruce: Hn.

During breakfast

Jason, turns to face Bruce: Lian has been asking when she can visit her Grandpa.

Steph, howls: Brucie Wayne, the famous Grandpa of all time.

Tim, snickers: Batman, the greatest detective? More like the greatest Grandpa.

Duke, raises his glass of water: Hear, hear.

Cass, giggles as she covers her mouth.

Dick, laughs : Children, not in front of our food, please. Learn how to respect your elders.

Damian: Eat some more, Father.

Jason, laughs: They still at it, huh?

Bruce, sighs and covers his face behind the newspaper as his kids continue to tease him.

[lazycats-stuff]

I wonder how it'll be if Bruce's baby son was attached to Alfred? Like he only wants Alfred to bathe him/dress him/feed him/etc, i feel like there might be a bit of guilt that his butler spends more time with his son then he does (this is a request btw lol)

I sense so much guilt from Bruce to be honest. Also, sorry if this is too short, but I too tired to write more.

Summary: Bruce feels guilty for not spending tim with his youngest son.

Warnings: fluff, Bruce feeling guilty, Alfred is Alfred, Alfred is the best grandpa.

Also, it was difficult to pick a version of Alfred, I love them all... But there is something about Andy Serkis' rough exterior and being gentle with a baby... But Michael Cain's Alfred is one of the best portrayals of Alfred ever. Hands down.

Alfred Pennyworth is one of the only people in the world he would trust his children with. More so his youngest son, (Y/N). He was a baby and Bruce was more careful with him because he was just so small and tiny.

Alfred on the other hand was very protective of his grandson. Alfred can still remember when they heard that one of Bruce's one night stand was pregnant. She didn't want him and Bruce said that he would take him in.

So after some legal procedures, Bruce was the sole parent of (Y/N) and was allowed to bring him home to the manor. Everyone feel in love with the little baby and Alfred was the second person to ever hold him, right after Bruce.

And Alfred swore with everything in him, that he would protect this little bundle of joy. He has seen the brutality of the world and seeing the city that they live in, it made him swear on everything that he would protect him.

Everyone else swore that too.

The things started to shift when he was pulled away a lot by his day job and night job. Being a CEO is no easy task and being Batman was even harder. And balancing those two jobs was impossible. So naturally, Alfred was the main caretaker of the little boy. He didn't mind it, he loved it.

But (Y/N) changed. Alfred was the only one that was allowed to feed him, bathe him. If somebody else tries to do that, (Y/N) will be very fussy and will start crying.

Not even Bruce could feed him without being fussy and squirmy. When it came to holding or anything similar, Alfred was there. It made Bruce come to a realization.

He didn't spend time with (Y/N).

He needed to change something. Alfred saw the guilt in Bruce's eyes and offered his helped.

" Baby steps master Bruce, baby steps. " Alfred said to him, comforting the desperate father.

" Please. I am Batman and a CEO, but not a father to the person that needs me. " Bruce said, looking at his son in Alfred's arms.

" And you still have time to rectify that master Bruce. " Alfred said, caressing (Y/N) face with his thumb.

" This little one still loves you. You just need to balance stuff out. " Alfred said, making Bruce nod his head.

" Now little one, you are going to your dad for a moment, I need to go to the bathroom. Hold him. " Alfred said, gently giving Bruce his son.

Bruce looked down into (Y/N)'s eyes. He leaned his head against (Y/N)'s. I will make this right (Y/N), I promise you that. " Bruce whispered, giving him a kiss to the side of the head.

[wonderjanga]

You Knew the Demon Head?

For this AU, I suppose we’d have to pretend that Ra’s al Ghul isn’t hundreds of years old, but rather thousands. So pretend for that this specific post he is.

Billy got a call from Nightwing. The man said he’d meant to call for Batman but had instead fumbled and called him instead for help. Cap still came to see if they needed anything. See, it turned out that Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin were all patrolling when one of them found Lazarus Pit. So, now all four of them, now with the added Captain Marvel, were all standing around the Pit watching the green liquid.

Marvel: “Geez it’s been a long while since I’ve seen a Lazarus pit.”

Red Robin: “You know what these are?”

Marvel: “Yeah, I had a friend who used them to stay young.”

Robin!Damian: “The only people who use them for that purpose of the League of Assassins.”

Marvel: “Oh? You know about the League of Assassins, Robin five?”

Robin!Damian: “Robin five…?” *looks him up and down before shaking his head* “I was apart of them.”

Marvel: “Wait, really?”

Robin!Damian: “Yes?”

Marvel: “Wow… Y’know, I haven’t heard that name in so long, and think I get to meet a real life member again. You’re sort of young, but I do remember Ra’s mentioning taking in orphans.”

Robin!Damian: “You say that like you knew my grandfather.”

Marvel: “Ra’s is your grandpa?” *looks him up and down* “I don’t really see the resemblance.”

Robin!Damian: “I’ve been told I look more like my father.”

*silence*

Nightwing: “Uh, Cheese? How do you know about the League of Assassins? Let alone Ra’s al Ghul. I would’ve thought something like this was a little too… gritty for you.”

Marvel: “What’s that mean?”

Red Hood: “He means you’re like a ball of sunshine, and that people like you don’t really associate with stuff like assassins. You normally fight mad scientists or witches or whatever.”

Marvel: “Uh… Red Hood? Your name is Red Hood right?”

Red Hood: *nods head*

Marvel: “I fight against monsters, mind control, and Nazis on an almost daily basis. This isn’t really above me.” *looks back to Nightwing* “Anyways, you asked how I knew him, right?”

Nightwing: *nods head*

Marvel: “Well, you see, a long time ago we used to be best buds!” *all smiley*

*another silence*

Nightwing: “What…?”

Red Robin: “You were best buds with the head of a- sorry, the organization of assassins.”

Marvel: “Yeah! Me and Ra’s go away back. Like thousands upon thousands of years back. I was actually apart of the original LoA if you think about it.

Robin!Damian: “So you and grandfather were comrades?”

Marvel: “Guess so. But we stopped talking ever since I died.”

Red Hood: “Huh…?”

Marvel: “I die, I revive as a new person, and then I remember who I was before, if that makes sense. That’s happened multiple times.” *trying to be as vague about the Champion of Magic stuff as possible*

Red Robin: “So you reincarnate?”

Marvel: “Something like that. It’s not really reincarnation because it’s not my soul that gets reincarnated, it’s mostly just my memories. I become a completely different person.” *looks to Damian* “That’s probably why when your grandpa and I met again, he was a little upset that I wasn’t the me he knew before.”

Robin!Damian: “You’ve both met again?”

Marvel: “We’ve met multiple times over the years. He’s still a little salty whenever he sees me, but I think it’s gone down a little bit.”

*silence*

Nightwing: “I’m still confused though! How do you just become besties with the Demon’s Head?”

Marvel: “Well, he wasn’t always the Demon’s Head, Robin one. He used to be a healer.”

Robin!Damian: “Grandfather was a healer?”

Marvel: “Yeah, he understood germ theory before literally anyone else. You know that right? He was a brilliant man, really. Anyways, when I was just a normal kid before I got my memories, we became friends. Then, when I got my powers and memories back, me and the tribe helped him take over the city.”

Red Hood: “What city?”

Marvel: “You know, the city. The one that Ra’s and his tribe took over after a king sentenced him to killing his own wife, even though the prince of that city actually killed wife.” *said all of that in one breath*

Robin!Damian: “I have a grandmother?”

Marvel: “Yup! I have no idea who your parent is though because when she died, I don’t recall them having any children.”

Red Robin: “I love how you’re dropping all of this lore like it’s nothing.”

Marvel: “Fun fact, after taking over the city, that’s when he started calling himself the Demon’s Head I think.”

Marvel continued to drop multiple lore bombs about Ra’s after that. Meanwhile, Ra’s is minding his own business somewhere else.

Ra’s al Ghul: *pauses whatever he was doing* “Something just happened…”

[weebsinstash]

Ya know, I've made posts about the yandere Batfamily before, and I've been thinking lately about one person in particular, and I think I've decided that Alfred is probably the most dangerous and formidable person in that entire house and have been brainstorming what a formidable platonic yandere guardian sorta figure he would be

For one, he's the man that canonically kept THE Batman from going over the edge, basically THE sole reason Bruce Wayne grew into the man he is. Literally, in alternate universes where Bruce never had Alfred, he literally 9 times out of 10 becomes a murdering sociopath. Alfred doesn't just have intelligence, he has EMOTIONAL intelligence

We're talking about the tenured elderly man who is former MI6 and doesn't give a fuck about murder, has killed, and will kill again. Bruce finds someone attacking you, he'll beat them up and cart them off to jail to be arrested and rehabilitated. Alfred will pull a pistol on a robber and shoot him dead before he allows you to get even a single scratch on you, just puts the guy down, "oh dear, I suppose I'll be late making dinner tonight, it seems I'll have to give testimony to Mr Gordon again"

I've seen fics where the sidekicks kidnap Reader or disable them for Bruce's sake, but don't you think Bruce himself would cross that line for Alfred? This man cooks, cleans, does everything for him, is practically a second father and his greatest friend, really kind of RAISED HIM. I just picture Alfred getting attached to Reader like you're practically his grandchild and then you return to your normal life, move out after staying them for a period of time or whatever, and Bruce can tell Alfred is... out of sorts, a little sad frown on his old withered face as he absent-mindedly sweeps the same corner of the same room for an hour, sighing, thinking about how he wanted to teach you all sorts of things, but, you're just gone now. Siiiiiiiiigh. And Bruce can't stand seeing Alfred like, actually depressed, even making mistakes he doesn't usually make, dropping things, lacking his usual playful sarcastic wit, just kind of a shell of his former self. You don't think you'd be getting an extra super special Uber ride in the Batmobile from the Dark Knight himself after that?

But I also think Alfred would be capable of really putting his foot down. He once told a disrespectful Damian he should be thankful Alfred wasn't his father in a very "because I'd actually discipline you" coded sort of way, and, say Reader grew up without a dad, or any parents and maybe has some traumas and potential behavioral issues from that. I could see Alfred being the kindest, sweetest, most patient grandpa, teaching you how to bake, keeping you company in the library, teaching you all kinds of things, and then the second you do things like start getting drunk, acting out, THROWING things, then he's putting his foot down, "now you listen HERE! Your behavior is absolutely unacceptable and you will not be allowed to degrade yourself within the walls of this home!" and manages to simultaneously scold you without putting you down, leaving you in ashamed embarrassed tears over your behavior that you're standing there crying, and he pulls you to take a seat in a nice chair and starts combing your hair and telling you he just wants best for you while you're bawling for his forgiveness, and he tells you he's already forgiven you and that he can run you a nice bath before bed

I can see a captive Reader scenario where you manage to break out of the house while everyone else is gone and you think, oh, you're home free! Batman and everyone else is busy! Lost in your own hubris as if Alfred doesn't have perfect knowledge of everything in the Batcave including the equipment and vehicles. You're in an alley cornered by a bunch of drunks who just want to beat the shit out of someone and suddenly, is that Batman? Wait, the costume is different, and the height, and, the body shape, and, and, and it doesn't even matter because Alfred can still lay all of them flat, blood on his knuckles as he wearily regards you, "you're not going to make a tired old man have to carry you to the car, are you?" and after what you just saw, you know better than to put up resistance

But like I can't get over the idea of, Reader staying at the Wayne residence for a limited period of time, you're injured and Bruce is offering you safe harbor, you're being targeted by a specific criminal group and need protection until the thugs are caught, something along those lines, and, one day, when everything is better, you just. Leave unexpectedly. They had already offered you a permanant place in the house but you still seem to be falling into a depression until one day you're straight up gone, only leaving a note that Alfred is the one to find, only 3 word, "Thank you. Sorry." and hr suddenly??? Can't think straight??? You're gone??? Why??? Why didn't you tell them?? Are you hurt?? Did they do something wrong??? How is he supposed to know if you're sad or if you're hungry or if you're in DANGER if he doesn't know where you are and what you're doing at all possible hours?

Just visualizing the idea of Bruce coming home one day and you're suddenly in the house again and you're seeming very much distressed but Alfred is looking fit as a fiddle again and it is very extremely incredibly obvious to Bruce that Alfred straight up brought you back against your will. But. He doesn't care because he agrees with Alfred that OBVIOUSLY since you're a member of the FAMILY NOW that OF COURSE you have to stay in the house

Can you imagine yandere Alfred but Bruce and everyone else is just, totally normal and just hardcore mega coping with Alfred's sudden change in behavior and occasional questionable actions. One day Alfred is dusting and without turning around, "Master Bruce, would you care to fetch my granddaughter for me while i finish this room?" and Bruce is just like "granddaughter????" And Alfred looks to him like he just said something BEYOND stupid, "Yes, my granddaughter, about ye high, awfully broody much like yourself, currently housed in the spare second floor bedroom at the end of the hall on the right? You act as if she didnt help bake that casserole you and the boys absolutely devoured last night"

Nightwing going down into the Batcave for like actual mission stuff and Alfred is already using the Batcomputer to monitor all your online internet use. What's that, some young man is trying to slide into your DMs? O-oh no, there was, uh, suddenly a glitch and he received a threatening message with no traceable source that told him to stay the bloody hell away from you! Whoops!

You're just his captive little grandchild who he helps teach recipes to and teaching you anything you're curious about. You make an offhanded comment one day that you would've loved to learn to play piano "but I'm too old now/it's too late now/I probably wouldn't be any good at it" and later on, after Alfred has brought you back after trying to live alone again (you being drugged if need be), and when you wake up he's all smiles, telling you about all the new structure he's about to introduce to your life, and, of course, you have to pick a day of the week for your new (now mandatory) piano lessons :) on Mondays you'll go for walks and have tea in the garden, Tuesdays you'll read in the library, on Wednesdays you'll learn piano, on Thursday he'll teach you a new recipe every week, Friday--- this old man is gonna force you to be productive and happy is all I'm gonna say

[redhatmeg]

The best things about "Merry Little Batman"

The Responsible Adult Bruce Wayne(TM)

Grandpa Alfred Pennyworth

Damien having a Home Alone moment early in the movie, when he has to take care of robbers in Wayne Manor

B.A.T. D.A.D.

Damien having a panic attack with everything looking like a scary, Frank Miller-inspired black and white comic

Joker having a style of 70s gangster

Old Man Oswald... just... Old Man Oswald

Mr. Freeze wearing Hawaian shirt over his freeze suit, in the middle of the winter

Festive Poison Ivy with miseltoe accents in her regular suit

Generally the whole movie is fun.

[mjmagics]

Sometimes I sit awake at night and imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne with their grand babies.

Thomas asking Dick if he’s been up to no good, Martha calling him a whipper snapper. Thomas giving Jason life advice (since Bruce isn’t Batman anymore Jason was just adopted through the system and is now trying to become a doctor like Bruce). Martha would dote on Jason, they’d have tea and book talk together.

Without Bruce being Batman I’m not too sure how he would end up with Cass, but I know he would. Martha and Cass would be best friends. She always wanted a daughter, and she lived vicariously through her nieces Alice and Kate when they were young, but Cass allowed her to finally have a feminine child in her life. Martha wanted Cass in dance as soon as she found out Bruce wanted to adopt another troubled child. A language barrier was between them, and dance was a form of language. This helped Cass and her bond. Thomas loves Cass, but is more distant. She went through a lot and wants to give her space.

The Wayne family would have known Tim throughout his life, since he was born to a socialite family. They would have always been close to grandma and grandpa and when he was adopted they spoiled him a bit too much. They still do, buying him upgraded devices as soon as they came out. Somehow he still manages to have a good head on his shoulders.

Damian would be no acceptation to the being spoiled habit. He was the result of one of Bruce’s private vacations and although Martha doesn’t like Talia, she loves her grandson. She sees baby Bruce in him, and gives him the most attention. She is at every event, and if Bruce or Thomas or his brothers can’t make it to a play or middle school band concert she would bring her brother and nieces with as well. Thomas would want to guide Damian into one day taking over the family business, so since he was born he was gifted developmentally appropriate gifts. Thomas did a lot of research, and made sure his grandson had the best schooling.

Overall they would be the greatest grandparents 😭