#best cookies ever

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

Easiest Cookie Recipe ever

(Use to buy good grades, better social standing, and social interaction) (quick for holiday party potlucks)

My mom stole this off pintrest years ago, and its since been our family favorite!

So since it's holiday season, and i made them this morning, I'm sharing it with y'all :) It has 4 ingredients, takes 7-8 minutes of baking time per sheet, and each batch makes a little over two dozen cookies that are beloved by everyone we can get to try them.

Warning before the actual instructions/recipe, this is written very nuerodivergently and in common terms. It's step by step instructions after the ingredients, with sassy comments galore. I highly suggest reading all the way through before making.

Ingredients:

Box of chocolate cake mix (supposedly pillsbury devil's food works best. Or maybe just any devil's food. Idk she said blue box i can't read minds)

two eggs

1/3 cup of oil

about 2 dozen, or 2 and a half dozen rolo's candies. (aka 24-30)

Steps:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees farenheit

Wash your hands

Line cookie sheets (1-3 for one batch) with parchment paper (VERY IMPORTANT)

Mix the eggs and oil into the cake mix. (a medium sized bowl is preferred for one batch.)

It will take much longer than you expect to mix thoroughly.

Mix with a spatula until the entire thing is evenly mixed. Looks gross and sticky and dark brown and should almost be like oily play dough.

It will take much longer than you expect to mix thoroughly. Keep mixing. I promise it will work (spatula is for scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl, this ones sticky.)

Wash your hands

Unwrap all of the rolo candies. Helpful to do it before you need to.

Take a spoon, and get a small spoonful of the dough.

Use your hands*, and mush the dough around one rolo until it has a core of caramel goodness that will later melt.

Should be around the size of a ping pong ball, and no larger than a golfball unless you want unevenly cooked cookies.

Space them evenly on the parchment paper (Staggering works well. doesn't matter if they touch during baking when they spread, but try your best.)

Wash your hands. (your hands will be gross at this point)

Bake for 7-8 minutes Exactly.

They never look done until they're over cooked. Take them out at 8 minutes max. If you're not sure, break one open at 5 minutes and see if the dough is uncooked. It never is. idek how.

Wash your hands

Let cool for about 5 minutes, to give the caramel time to solidify enough, then lift the parchment paper up to unstick the cookies from the pan.

Let cool for another 10 minutes.

If you ignored the parchment paper rule, lets hope you like doing dishes and used lots of cooking spray on the cookie sheets :) (you will be spending an hour scraping caramel and burnt sugar off the pans. I told you it was important.) (Oh, and all of your cookies left their bottom half on the pan. Also happens if you don't move them after 5 minutes of cooling.)

Optional - Sprinkle powdered sugar on them for extra holiday flair. (It makes them look pretty instead of brown lumps)

Yay! Cookies are done! It's chocolate, with a caramel inside that will surprise anyone who didn't make them!

Can theoretically be made without gluten,and/or milk. It has not been tested. Fuck around and find out? (and lemme know if you do!)

*FOR ANY OF MY FELLOW NUERODIVERSE PEOPLE

If the stickiness of the dough on your skin bothers you (or is just too sticky to work with) you can use margarine on your hands like a lotion to keep it from sticking. It feels worse to me personally, but I figured I'd say it anyways just in case. Dawn dish soap makes the margarine and cookie dough come off the fastest by breaking through the oils.

[soppsop]

[Image Description: A series of digital redraws of the Cookie Run Ovenbreak characters from the Cookie Trial event in the Ace Attorney art style. The first image shows Cotton Candy Cookie standing in the witness stand, holding a love letter that covers her mouth. She's looking to the side and blushing. Her textbox reads "I'm here because the defendant stole something from me!".

The second image shows Langue de Chat cookie in the defence bench thinking "Um... The witness is blushing...". He is pushing up his glasses and has a drop of sweat on his face.

The third image is of Roguefort Cookie standing as the defence's co-council in a prison outfit, looking at the camera and smiling, saying "That person really is an interesting one..."

The fourth image shows Cappuccino Cookie standing in the prosecutor's bench, holding a book in his left arm and hitting the bench with his right fist, shouting "Tell us what they stole!"

The fifth image shows Cotton Candy Cookie again, this time blushing more, with her eyes closed and the letter covering her face even more and saying "That person..... Completely stole my heart!"

The sixth image shows Langue de Chat Cookie shocked, leaning on the bench and pushing up his now broken glasses, sweating and with messy hair. The textbox says "!?"

The seventh image is Cappuccino Cookie also shocked and sweating, leaning on the bench with his fist clenched and the textbox says "!?!?!???"

The last image shows a comparison between the redraws and the original cookie sprites. End ID]

I'm sorry everyone I gave in. I attorneyd the cookies

This was meant to be just some doodles but i was having wayyy too much fun with this lmao. The text is a bit awkward but there was a LOT of dialogue in the original and i had to cut it down somehow rip

Anyways I think Roguefort Cookie would be the worst defendant ever

*I'm very bad at writing and describing things so if anyone has any corrections to my ID please tell me thank you 😭

[cosmicwhoreo]

I was recently looking at CRK TV tropes and saw interesting description of Abalone Cookie being a foil to Captain Caviar Cookie: Both are captains yet both their meetings with Black Pearl Cookie are vastly different wity "Abalone whimpers and cries in fear while Caviar just calmly talks to her." I find this scenrio kinda hilarious because its very true.😂

like it's even a competition-

[embryoed]

Me when the writers wrote the line “I know you think that that mohawk defined who you are, but it didn’t. Not to me.” and then expected people to NOT interpret it as gay

[tailsnumber1fan]

xmas just a week away!!!! heres somethin for the holidays (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)

heres a no text version!!

bonus!!! the og drawing i made last year that i hated (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

[ruiiplume]

I rerendered this pic now i realized how to decently render it ig lmao

Closeups/procreate jumpscare

Bad and Dark feat. Manager Scarlet ❤️🤎💜🖤

[the-catboy-minyan]

I would like to publicly apologize for spreading misinformation on my blog. it was irresponsible of me, I should have made the proper research before publicly posting false information, and yet I've recklessly spread Israeli propaganda multiple times. I'm deeply ashamed for my actions now that I see the truth, and I will reflect on my actions and try to do better in the future.

hamantachen with poppy seeds actually tastes really good.

[peachiibon]

what if i combined both of my main interests right now. what then

warning for a mile long rant of cookie flavor speculations in the tags

[qkrovv]

[milkbreadtoast]

puts my arts of caramel arrow so far all together bc why not😮‍💨 loml... 🛐🖤

[esilher]

-Uh…..we sincerely implore your understanding... we thought that you would be happy, if we started baking the Christmas cookies...

[trustymikh]

A b-day gift for the bestest bean

[gilbirda]

you can tell the creator of this game is a tumblrina

[kukiconfetti]

Cream Ferret Cookie headcanons because I'm really hyperfixating on them rn :3

- Cream Ferret Cookie would definitely sing lullabies to baby dough to sleep or when they're sad.

- Cream Ferret would also read to baby dough. Definitely picture books and such.

- Cream Ferret has a whole BIBLE filled with pictures of their little one.

- Cream Ferret probably dresses their little one in frilly clothing. They think it's adorable, especially when them and their little one is matching.

- Cream Ferret likes to play peek-a-boo with their little one. They're very playful with baby dough.

- Since ferrets like sleeping, Cream Ferret likes to sleep by curling their tail around baby dough and having them sleep on their fluffy tail. Cream Ferret doesn't mind it getting a little ruffled, after all.

- Cream Ferret also lets baby dough lay their head on their fluffy scarf when their little one is sleepy or sad.

- While Cream Ferret doesn't mind other cookies near their little one, they're pretty protective over them and will literally go feral, and I mean 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭, if even a tiny scratch appears on them

Aight, that's all I got. Thank u :3

[briarpatch-kids]

Made butterscotch white chocolate oatmeal cookies with toasted almonds today!

[ominous-feychild]

✦ OC Questionnaire Tag 2✦

Following tag from @the-letterbox-archives!

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, and Daleira Characters from the Arcane Rifts: Gene, Tazin, and Mislav Featuring tAR's children leveled up! They'll be answering at 15, 17, and 17 years old respectively!

Questions: - "What's your relationship with your family like?" - "Do you have any hobbies? if so, what ones?" - "Do you dream often? what about?" - "What is the one thing you would not wish on your greatest adversary?" from @willtheweaver

"What's your relationship with your family like?"

Freya: Well... we don't even know if my dad's alive but... re-regardless, it was rough between us. He was never around, and I just... I missed him. I know it was his job, but I blamed him. It was just me in that house, you know? Like, I mean--sure! I chose that! But the only other choice was to live alone in the city instead, where I had to deal with people trying to suck up to me in order to get money or whatever! So neither was a good choice, yeah??? And--I don't know, okay? I... I hope he's actually alive like the others say. I guess... I'll probably apologize to him, alright? But that still sucked.

Crow: Oh, my father's great, yeah. ... What, you were expecting more of an answer? Daleira: Oh, I love my dad! 😊 ... not enough for you?... okay, fine. Um... it's difficult at times between us. He's busy taking care of Lynsmouth most of the time, so we hardly spend any time together. But, you know--I get that! It's a lot of work to uh--... do whatever it is he does? Honestly I'm not that sure, haha. 😅 But I'm sure it's a lot! So, you know, it's not a big deal that he doesn't spend a lot of time with me. I'm really appreciative of him finding me and taking me in to begin with, and I've really led a great life thanks to him, so! 😊

Gene: I... don't remember my family. Just like I don't remember anything else before I got here. But... (*looks away to think. Will not look in asker's direction again.*) I think Abi was my brother? Older--older brother. He... really helped me a lot. So in that case... good. But... thinking the word "family"... hurts.

Tazin: (*spoken through his teeth*) I don't have a family.

Mislav: (*fakest smile you can imagine and not even trying to hide it; voice falsetto*) Dead, thanks for asking!

Crow: Sike!!! Bet you thought I wasn't going to answer. 😘 How cruel of you to think so lowly of me!!! 😭

I wasn't kidding, my father's great, I love him. He taught me everything I know about--detective work and all, heh! We don't always see each other because he's usually working on cases, but he's given me everything I need to succeed in life and I'm thankful to him for that. So hopefully I'll make him proud on this case with Frey! 😉😊

(tragically, it is not a work I have created if someone's family life is good. But, omfg, until now, I didn't realize SaS was the story of goddamn DADDY ISSUES!!! 🤣🤣🤣)

"Do you have any hobbies? if so, what ones?"

Freya: Oh, um... dammit, I'm not going to get away with a lie, am I? (*Heavy, drawn-out sigh*) Okay, fine. I... like reading. I know this is really weird!!! But, uh, sometimes, while I'm inshore, I've found books in the water. Books! Perfectly fine! Little to no water damage most of the time! I don't know if Dad sent them to me somehow or what, but... most of the time, they're in other languages. Things that don't always line up with those I find in the library. But I've figured a few of them out over the years, and I think it's really fun!

Crow: Psh, nothing as boring as reading. (*Precariously leaning back against a bulging doorway. There's a creak and then--CRASH!!!*) SHIT-- (*Furiously opens the door. An endless pile of books comes falling out. Except... they're all related to their cases? Huh. Is their hobby... working?*) Yep. That's my hobby. Working. Tell my dad that, would ya? 😘 (Oh I think we see something deeper in the closet--) NO!!! DON'T YOU DARE-- (*we zoom in to see countless artistic collages made out of cut-outs from pictures in their books and magazines.*) ... (*Crow, face burning, melts into the shadows and hides in shame.* But??? That's a cool hobby??? WAIT, COME BACK, AZA--)

Daleira: Oh!!! I just love working with magical trinkets! You know, conduits--from gods, mortals, and discovered in the Faewildes! It's amazing figuring out how each of them work and trying to figure out if I can replicate them! Faer and I have gotten good at transferring magic between objects, but gods' conduits are especially hard to work with. Like, come on--can't they share some of their power with the rest of us??? :/

There's a few items from Soren we just can't figure out, though... and he wouldn't tell me where he got them! I mean, that would help immensely in trying to figure out how they work, but we've already broken a few of them and don't want to risk losing all of them! Especially since--... well. An-anyway-- 😅

I gave Freya one when we first met! She was showing clear signs of magical sickness, and I'd already figured out it was a magical restraint you could manipulate the strength of--which is amazing, you know??? So it would be awesome to figure out how it works! But-- (*continues rambling happily*)

Gene: Hobby?... (*Looks away. Will not look back.*) I... like to draw. It's useful. Maps. Nobody else is able to navigate around the sewers, but my maps... they stay right. Even though they change. So it's nice to draw... feel useful. And everyone likes me then. Not just Mislav and Tazin. If... Tazin does. I'm pretty sure he does. (*Shakes his head swiftly, then nods*) Right. He does. Sorry...

(*Anxiously picks at his hands, still avoiding looking anywhere near the asker*) And... I've always liked reading, I think. The real stuff. To learn. It took a while for me to learn Glavni, but I've been able to read by myself for a long time now. I enjoy it. (*Finally looks back to give asker a pained smile*)

Tazin: Does burning buildings count? 😉 No? Okay, fine. How about just plain-old casual arson? 😉 OH, COME ON, HOW COME THESE GUYS'-- (*continues screaming into the camera, but we cut to black*) (*We return to a moody Tazin pouting with his arms crossed... and surrounded in flames.*) Fine. I've always liked stupid stories. You know the ones--knight in shining armor, or the underdog rising up and saving the day--that stuff. And Gene's got me into his stupid fucking "learning" thing, alright? But that's all you're getting out of me, got it, you little-- {REDACTED FOR PROFANE LANGUAGE}

Mislav: Um... not really? I... guess anything that lets me spend more time with Gene? 😅😭

... I really liked it back when I was on the farm. But... it's gone now. And I don't think Adilzhan or Zhrizn would let me do anything like that again. And... (*looks away, voice going below a whisper*) I'm afraid to even try.

(BET YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE ALL HUMOROUS HERE, DIDN'T YOU!?!?! DIDN'T YOU!?!?! YOU FORGOT IT WAS MY!!! MY!!!! STUFF YOU WERE READING!!! *maniacal laugh.mp4*)

"Do you dream often? what about?"

Freya: I think I've had a lot of dreams in my life. Most of them, I've hated, but I... can't remember them honestly. Except... fear. Being afraid of them. So, heh, you know--nightmares. Normal stuff normal people deal with right? Especially kids, I've heard.

... but I've been remembering a bit more of them lately, since I... since I was in the shipwreck. (*Voice goes strained and breathy, like she's struggling to breathe*) And I... I think I'm in the water again. In--in the dreams. And there's something else there--

Crow: Ha, no. Do most people remember their dreams? (They're lying. They remember. Their dreams center around failure. Failure, and a desperation to prove themself.)

Daleira: Um... not really? We faeries aren't like you humans... our "dreams" are... different. Real. I try not to actually sleep because of that. I don't want anyone else getting stuck in them.

Gene: Not anymore. I used to. Usually... nightmares. Monsters and nature and things chasing me. I have a curse. When I sleep... my nightmares find me. I'll wake up surrounded in things. Once... it included the monster. (*He looks away and is silent for a long moment, remembering.*)

... thankfully I don't dream much anymore. The curse is still here, but it's kinder now. Better things come through.

Tazin: No, who's asking? >:/

When I do dream, it's weird stuff. Memories. Wishes. (*waves hand dismissively*) Normal stuff.

(Also lying. Sometimes has nightmares of the people he cares about abandoning him. Stabbing him in the back. Telling him things about himself he knows to be true, but doesn't want to admit. Telling himself to be better... when he knows he won't.)

Mislav: Yes. I remember the night I lost everything. And the ones who took it all from me. (*looks to Gene*)

... almost everything.

"What is the one thing you would not wish on your greatest adversary?"

Freya: To find themself alone. To lose the people they care about... or feel like those people don't care for them back.

Crow: A pointless end. If you have to die, you should die for something. Something meaningful. Something you care about.

Daleira: Whatever happens to what I eat. 😅 (She's not kidding--remember, she's not human.)

Gene: Starvation.

Tazin: ... to be alone. Or... for it to be their fault.

Mislav: What happened to me... what's happening to me.

I regret deciding to do all these characters...

Your questions: - What was the worst day of your life? - What's your worst nightmare? - If a monster asked you your worst nightmare, what would you tell it and why?

Tagging (with no pressure) @darkandstormydolls @yourpenpaldee @honeybewrites @fantasy-things-and-such @themboty @.the-letterbox-archives (avoiding double-tags) and whoever else wants to join!

Divider from @cafekitsune