#bertha burns
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kaiw-ispresent · 2 years ago
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I FUCKED UP!
BERTHA IS THE BURNS KIDS' GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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itsalwaysforyou · 8 months ago
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there’s blood in the water, there’s blood in the water
kenny ortega, descendants / the crane wives, the crooked, the cradle
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"queer jane eyre retelling where instead of jane and mr. rochester it's jane and BER-" Helen Burns is right there. Helen being Jane's only friend at Lowood is right there. Helen being resigned and forgiving in the face of constant abuse in contrast to Jane's defiance and righteousness is right there. Helen's devout spirituality being one of the most genuine and loving glimpses Jane gets in her early life of what it means to worship God is right there. Jane only learning how to practice self-restraint once she befriends Helen is right there. Jane laying in Helen's deathbed for her final night and waking up to being carried away after Helen died while she was asleep is right there. Helen dying young and an eight year timeskip happening because there was literally next to nothing significant for Jane to tell the reader after she died is right there. Helen's memory living on in the form of Jane internalizing Helen's ideals of forgiveness and virtue well into her adult life even as she learns to respect herself and find her own sense of self-worth is right there. Helen Burns is right the fuck th
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assortedantics · 10 months ago
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So many great books exist in the world. So many brilliant books…yet I’m forced to study JANE SODDING STUPID EYRE.
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sammydem0n64 · 2 years ago
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Idc that it’s almost 8 PM post Bertha Mason
Version w/o the layer effects under the cut!
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dabratzchronicles · 2 months ago
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When we getting yo spin on Aaron Pierre frenn 👀👀👀
the time has come. YOU SHALL BE BLESSED
Any Time, Any Place
Aaron Pierre as Terry Richmond
You as Yourself
Summary: You just had to fuck around and find out on this one particular night, the same night you and Terry go out!
Warnings: Possessiveness up the ass, breeding kink if you squint, rough sex, size kink, established relationship, im missing some but my coochie is rawring.
A/N: Now listen, ik you asked this like 2-3 months ago, but i told you it was coming! megan! um i thank ms big bertha for helping me finish this, i owe her one😏
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This man, this man is something else. You and Terry went to his former military friend’s homecoming party! The vibes were great and everyone was nice to you! even got a ‘I see you nephew’ from one of the older ones.
But something about his glare, his hands feeling on you in public and more sultry in private, his kisses on your cheek leaving you flustered, too flustered to even finish the conversation with some of his friends. But you managed, tonight was a good night! The vibes were good, the music was amazing, even got new shit to add to your playlist! Your hair was dyed, fried, and laid to the side, the curls bouncing with every move you took, and the wind having the right amount of umph to blow it correctly, felt like a Disney princess. Too much of a princess, it wasn’t long till you two were pulled up behind a family dollar with your legs in the air, his eyes looking like what boiling water would feel like.
The whole night he was giving you glares, was to warn you, the hands that traveled your body, were to warn them, the private kisses were to remind you, but you didn’t pick up on nothing, poor you, you didn’t know! You were just enjoying people being friendly.
“I’m sorry!” you managed to cry aloud, his hands at the perfect spot to hold you in place, the faint but still strong scent of Gin tainted his lip, his strokes matching the mighty smell.
“I bet you are ma, but I can’t have you being friendly to these niggas.” he said ever so sweetly, slowing his strokes to match his tone, the feeling of feeling him twitch inside you drove you mad, the kisses he gave you trailing onto your neck once you couldn’t keep contact.
“I wasn’t trying to be niceee,” you tried to plead your case with tears of pleasure stinging your eyes, threatening to fall but it’ll mix well with the sweat that ruined your hair, it wasn't the only reason though. “Then what were you?”
You attempted to answer his question, jarring your lips to fix up a sentence, but you were too slow.
Terry slammed into you continually, each and every slam and thrust he gave you found a new place to dig out. His eyebrows furrowed as he lingered for your answer, knowing good and Christ juice you couldn’t answer. this nigga was evil.
He slammed into you once more resulting in you screaming, staying still in an attempt to not cum inside you, but you just looked too exquisite at this angle, the soft white light emitting from above shined across your face, your eyebrows scrunched, and your mouth permanently ajar.
“You can scream but can't answer? I said,” he began to repeat, slowly rocking his hips into you. “I don't know!”
“At least you're honest, that shit ain't cutting it.” He told you, maintaining his pace exactly where and how it was. His tone is mean yet delicate, his eyes still burning into your skin leaving different patches of hotness until your whole body warms up again.
“This my pussy right?” You nodded, “And Nobody will ever get it right?” you nodded your head obediently, “And nobody’s gonna take what's mine?” his voice nearly going primal, his pace quickening at the idea of someone attempting to take what was his.
“Nooooo,” You slurred on your words, drunk off his loving, high off this moment, rolling your eyes back to see your own little sky with stars with a biggg shooting star as your orgasm washed through you, your body jerking around violently as Terry held you steady, giving you two more pumps before sliding out, leaning back to watch you melt further into the backseat.
When you came to, you looked down to see Terry slowly stroking himself, “Knees.” He commanded, your knees buckled as you could hardly move but you obeyed, perking your ass up in the air, teasing him a little.
His hefty hand landed on your cheek a few times, each time leaving a pleasurable sting behind. You heard him shuffle behind you, lining himself up with your entrance, swiping your pussy with his dick making you clench over nothing.
“This your dick right? Show me.” Terry insisted, pushing only the tip driving you madly in love.
You slid down on him with ease, a guttural moan fleeing the two mouths as the feeling of being together again, feeling the chemistry oozing off of each other, it was something that couldn’t be replaced.
You grabbed a hold of the driver’s seat as you threw your ass back onto him, arching your back some more, the clapping intensified times ten.
“Fuckk,” Terry cursed lazily as he fucked you back, giving each cheek a little smacked turning that spot more redder, caressing the right one as the left one was left to die, that asshole!
You felt Terry's presence grow closer as his chest rested on your upper back. His left hand snaked around to keep your face to his as he attacked your lips, the taste of gin deepening your taste buds as you savor the flavor of him, moaning into his mouth.
His left hand released your face, kissing your back before pinning your face down onto the seat, his right hand placed in the small of your back, bending your back in a way you didn’t think it could bend.
He moaned deeply, his languidish strokes reminding you of one thing: This pussy was his and to never let another nigga think he has a chance. Truly, you learned from this experience but will try again when you recover from this in 7-10 business years.
You felt a familiar sensation forming in the pit of your stomach, Terry sensed this and evilly went deep, hitting all new spots as he damn near bottomed out in you. “I want you to cum on this dick and I want you to cum now.” but little did he know you were waiting on his approval.
You erupted into a screaming, shaking mess, the sounds of squelching and slapping of skin drowning out the music.
Terry gave you three sharp thrusts before nutting in you, painting your walls like you were a canvas, and it created a beautiful scene. Terry collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily into your ear feeling accomplished that he was able to go through with his ‘Punishment’ beating the last score of 3 to 7.
“I love you,” Terry said innocently, kissing you gently, whimpering as he slowly pulled out of you. “But Don’t do that shit again.”
You flopped onto the backseat as you stuck up a thumbs up, your arm flopping back down as you heard him laugh.
Fin ♥️
Youve got Mail!📥 @megamindsecretlair @theebaddesttt @thecapodomme @henneseyhoe @planetblaque @kindofaintrovert @blackerthings @harmshake
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ravenkings · 2 months ago
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sorry to keep on going about this, but honestly, when you actually think about the "jane eyre is 'not like other girls' self-insert fiction" argument, the more idiotic and frankly offensive it becomes.
like as far as i can recall, the only women in the story who jane holds in contempt or actively thinks badly of are women who were her abusers (mrs. reed, georgiana and eliza reed to a certain extent) or who are outright cold and cruel to her due to her social status (blanche ingram). she either feels warmly towards or even practically worships every woman in the story who is kind to her (miss temple, helen burns, bessie, mrs. fairfax, diana and mary rivers, rosamund oliver, etc.)
and even when we get to bertha mason, jane is definitely more sympathetic to her than not (and is absolutely more sympathetic to her than rochester is!!!)
it's true that jane feels (understandably!!!) alienated from victorian femininity in many ways, but like...she never really takes that out on other women??? in fact, it's more often the case that other women take it out on her by calling her plain, insignificant, etc. and like, idk guys if we can't criticize the constraints of victorian femininity because we risk getting into ~not like other girls~ territory or whatever, like what the fuck are we even doing??????????
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pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou · 2 months ago
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Hi love you're writing i just basically stalked your posts teehee. Can I get the younger brother group with a chubby fem reader who's family is rather rude about their weight. Like calling reader nicknames such as Big Bertha and Fatass and talking about how reader needs to eat less and buying clothes in sizes to small to motivate reader to lose weight. Really self projecting here but I could use some comfort lol Feel free to skip if you're uncomfy with it
Bro genuinely disown your parents 💀
Seriously now, something like feeling insecure about your own body because of people is unfortunately common and for some reason it makes me happy writing these, as it's a situation where comfort is due and it makes me feel fuzzy.
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Featuring: Papyrus, Edge, Honey, Cash, Rus, Mutt and Coffee.
Masterlist
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Papyrus
Oh! Your family's very rude, let's get out and never return!
Like, excuse you? Why are you talking shit about HIS partner?
He thought they couldn't be that bad, yet he was so wrong.
Papyrus's not the type to get angry easily, but oh boy, he's scary when mad, and trust me, your family won't ever bother you again.
He apologizes to you the moment you two leave that house, and he promises to never return to this crazy
Edge
Lectures your parents and never ever comes back.
He's a well known chef who people always love the food, so why should he care about this nasty idiots opinions again?
He motivates you to a healthy diet for you not to die of a heart attack or something, not because he thinks you need to lose weight, and it's not like he'll ever say you can or can't eat what you want.
"DON'T BEAT YOURSELF BECAUSE OF THOSE IDIOTS, THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS OF YOU."
Honey
Too lazy to move from your belly to go answer the door to your shitty parents, if they can't appreciate this then more for him.
He always complimented you since the start of your relationship, and he'll gladly do it more.
He already knows you're perfect, yet he will be
Probably donates any clothes your parents send, he just doesn't like things going completely to waste.
Cash
Well, if your family doesn't like their own child, then he already knows they're gonna despite him, in all senses.
Yet Cash is Cash, and if he ever goes to meet them, is with the sole purpose of annoying the living shit out of them.
If your parents send any type of clothes, he doesn't even see it and simply sells them on vinted or something when you're not looking and buys you clothes that actually fit and make you feel comfortable.
And if any of them dare to go to your house, he's willing to call the cops, those fuckers are not accepted even 80 km away from his home.
Rus
Fuck no. No one is allowed to say shit about his partner.
Totally doesn't do not so harmless pranks to your parents without them ever knowing it was him.
Burns anything that your parents send. He already knows what it is and he just doesn't want shit from those types of people in his house.
You may not even notice, yet he'll slowly compliment your body more and will start napping on your thighs even more.
Mutt
No. Just no.
Mutt knows what is like having a family who doesn't care nor like you, damn, his own father threw him and his brother in the streets when he was barely 6!
So, he does everything in his power not to meet your parents, if he sees them in the corner of his eye, he's already leading you the other way.
Like Rus, he burns anything that your parents send, he doesn't like them so.. why should he even keep things from them?
Coffee
Just by what you told him he does NOT want to meet your family.
And genuinely? He doesn't.
Avoids them at all costs, and it's actually really easy since he usually stays home.
Though, he will start to leave notes saying how beautiful he thinks you are and not to listen to your parents since they don't know what they're talking about.
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johnwickb1tsch · 11 months ago
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bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 27 all chapters
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WARNING: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘
-“I have a surprise for you.”
Hearing this fills you with what is perhaps a disproportionate amount of trepidation.
However…consider the source.
“Oh?”
“I wasn’t going to give it to you yet, but…I think I’d better.”
You are not sure what to think about this, so you remain silent.
He takes your hand, leading you up the stairs.
As you walk down the hallway you are filled with more and more apprehension, convincing yourself that there is some trick he’s pulling around the corner. He has been disappearing on and off, refusing to tell you where he was going, but vaguely hinting that he was cooking something up for you.
You fear it’s something you don’t want at all, like a red room fully fitted with racks and restraints and hooks hanging from the ceiling. If he frames that as a gift you swear you will pull a Bertha, and burn this personal version of Thornfield Hall to the ground.
You do not like it, when he insists on covering your eyes as he walks you through a door close to your bedroom upstairs. By the time you take three steps into the room you have damn near worked yourself into a lather, a fine trembling running through your limbs.
“Shh, baby, you’re going to like this,” he assures you, which is no real assurance at all.
Five more steps before he stops you, removing his hands with a flourish.
Your heart leaps to your throat.
Floor to ceiling windows let in a flood of morning light to the room. There is a big table, and copious shelves, and…an easel.
You realize he has made you an art studio.
Your feet move forward of their own volition, taking in the various boxes stacked on the table and the shelves. They’re art supplies, and you recognize brand names that you could hardly afford on your barista’s salary. Sennelier. Windsor and Newton pigments, top tier. Fine brushes from France and Germany that cost fifty dollars a piece. Tablets in every size and every tooth of Canson paper.
“Oh. My. God.”
“You…like it?”
He almost sounds vulnerable in that moment, which is entirely ridiculous.
You imagine how you would have reacted, if your relationship had been normal. You would have thrown your arms around his neck, showered him with kisses.
This studio is everything you’ve ever dreamed of having, as an artist.
As it is…he is buying your complacency, if not your love, trying to distract you from your situation with expensive trappings and let’s face it—adult arts and crafts.  
It hurts.
And yet, you know you’d better fucking say something, or Mr. Nice Wick is going to flee the scene.
“How did you know?” you ask, fingering a box of brand-new oil pastels. “It’s perfect in every way.”
You are trying your best to sound happy about it, but your throat is tight, and you know he’s going to get mad about it any second now.
He couldn't have surprised you more, if he'd stood on tiptoe and performed a pirouette, as when he simply gathers you into his arms. 
“I had help from the owner of the art supply store,” he admits. “Pretty sure they'll be sending me a Christmas card for the rest of my life.” 
You laugh at that, settling into the hollow at the base of his throat. It feels so good, just to be held like this. A part of you cautions not to trust it—but most of you is so exhausted from living on edge, you just take the comfort at face value. 
“Did you go to Mr. Morton’s shop?” you ask, referring to the local art stop in town. You don’t know why this gives life to a glimmer of hope in you. It’s not like the kind old man would have any reason to suspect you’re here, with John Wick, just because the mysterious newcomer suddenly had a yen to buy out the store of all its art supplies.
“No, I went a little farther afield.”
Almost as though he was covering his tracks.
“Oh.” You cannot conceal the note of disappointment in your tone. “John…” You muster your courage for the next question, hoping you won’t blow the day all to shit, but you suddenly need to know. “Am I a missing person?”
He presses his lips to your forehead, and speaks quietly against your skin. “Technically, no. A friend of mine will ping your passport entry at JFK soon. You’ll tender your resignation with regrets at the coffee house. I’ll have your little apartment cleaned out. You don’t need it anymore.”
He really did think all this through. You digest the details of his Machiavellian plan rather distantly, as though you are on the outside watching from above. He has orchestrated your disappearance masterfully, but also in a way that won’t raise questions with authorities should you happen to resurface in his company. In a twisted way this gives you a sliver of hope, that maybe he doesn’t intend to keep you locked away forever.
A fool’s optimism, perhaps, but at the moment it’s all you have.
“Where’s my phone?”
“At the bottom of the Grand Canal, I’m afraid.”
“That’s littering.”
He just snorts in answer. You find that you regret the fact that all your photos are lost. You never did back them up on the cloud. How strange, that such a record of your life could be erased with the destruction of one electronic device.
Talking about this doesn’t seem to scuttle his mood, so it gives you the courage to ask, “Can I come in here whenever I want?”
You are so hopeful in your request that you sense him war with himself, in the end unable to outright say no. “If you're a good girl,” he qualifies with his lips still on your forehead. 
Hiding beneath his chin, you grind your teeth at this caveat, but don't voice aloud any of the pithy comebacks that come to mind. 
 Then you notice your sketchbook from Italy is sitting on the worktable, along with your custom bound copy of Jane Eyre.
After everything, you’re not sure why seeing it there, knowing it had been in his hands, makes your heart skitter in your chest. He follows your gaze, a dark eyebrow lifting. It is filled with sketches of him from before you met up in Venice. The whole fucking thing is practically a confession of the grinding longing you'd felt for him, in the first couple weeks after you left. You can’t deny it now, but you can choose not to acknowledge it aloud.
He stares you down, clearly hoping for…something. A confession, perhaps, or at least an admission. You feel like a bug under a magnifying glass in the sun, fixed with that gaze. But you hold fast, and in the end he sighs. “I’m going to go clean up breakfast,” he tells you. “Have fun with your new toys.”
He kisses your forehead before quitting the room, and once again you fancy that if one were to squint, you could almost mistake the two of you for a normal couple.
-He actually leaves you to your own devices until darkness begins to fill the trees beyond the window.   
By the time he comes to collect you he has changed into a black button down and dark jeans. It suits him to his bare toes, and inwardly you sigh. Why does this devil of a man have to be so goddamned handsome?
“So, what has my little artist made today?”
You are loathe to admit, the answer is nothing.
You opened every box, gazed at the pastels and paints and pencils longingly. And yet with charcoal in hand the fine white paper taunted you, inspiration an illusive thing.
You had no idea what you wanted to draw, or paint, or make. The past week has been so jarring, you would think you would be bursting with something, but all you draw is a blank. 
You shrug, curled up in the comfy chair by the easel, your drawing pad open in front of you. He takes the seat opposite, regarding you quizzically.
“You don’t like it in here?”
“I love it,” you assure him, and its no complacent lie. “I just…have been soaking it in.”
“Hmm.”
You can tell that he’s disappointed, and your treacherous heart skips a beat.
You failed to turn on any lights, as the sun is setting. John flicks on a single lamp on the side table, washing his one side in a dramatic glow. It is as though something clicks into place, as you look upon him. Your dark angel, your sinister lover, your obsessive captor, a man you should hate, but you are drawn to him like a moth to the flame.
Perhaps now, he shall also be your muse. Was ever there a man better suited to embody the mysteries of Caravaggian shadow?
“Don’t move,” you say softly, and begin to draw.
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rosiebeetle · 3 months ago
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Can I request a fluffy Beej x reader? I can’t think of any specifics other than career woman reader (gender neutral works too)
I'm gonna be so real w u idk what career woman rlly means but I hope I got it right!! Using no names in this was kinda hard tbh 😭😭 but I hope u like it! And I hope beej isnt to cc I haven't written non domesticated beej in a while..
She felt like her eyes were getting heavier by the second. She was starting to regret agreeing to run the store for the maitlands, running a business was harder than she thought. Who knew there were so many different kinds of screws?? Coffee stopped working ages ago but she had to finish up making supply orders.
The laptops blue light burned and she could feel her vision basically getting worse as time went by. Maybe closing her eyes for a moment wouldn't be so bad.. Just a few seconds.
An hour later she was woken up by a cold hand on her shoulder. “WHAT I'M UP-” she yelled, wiping the drool off her face and eyes darting around the room until she heard snickering from behind her. She turned the chair and saw beej laying down in the air snickering at her.
She rolled her eyes at him. “Asshole” she muttered, turning back to her work. She was about to delete the long paragraph of E's she had accidentally typed until she got spun right back around.
“You've been working all day” Beetlejuice whined like a child. “You didn't even come eat dinner when Darla-” “Delia” she corrected. “Right right Delilah called us down.”
“I'm busy on Fridays you know this by now beej” she tried to turn her chair back around but his grip stopped her.
“And I'm bored on Fridays! Let's go watch a movie, maybe terrorize some teenagers that are smoking at the park” he grinned, shaking the chair slightly.
“Go ask Lydia to hang out with you, I'm busy” she crossed her arms, glaring up at him.
“Lydia's with prunes and burps” he stuck out his tongue making a fake gag noise.
“Prudence and bertha.” She corrected him again. “Go ask Adam or barbara if they need anything then”
“The last time I helped them with something the stove blew up” he looked down at her, she was still in her work clothes from the shop. Snapping his fingers she was changed into a long sleeves sleeping shirt with skulls on it and fuzzy sleeping pants with bats and pumpkins. “I wanna watch the new terrifier and you are gonna watch it with me” he grinned.
“For the last ti- HEY!” He had picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. “Beetlejuice I need to finish up the supply order!”
“Watch it with the name babes and you have all weekend to do that! Your fighting a losing battle right now” he carried her down the stairs and plopped her down on the couch. He dug through his pockets and pulled out some Reece's pieces popcorn and a CD of terrifier 3.
“How the hell did you even get that? It's barely been out in theaters.” by the time she was on the couch she accepted her fate and just decided to indulge in some relaxation.
“I'm dead and I got sick ass powers, your smart you should know this by now” she narrowed his eyes. “You stole it didn't you”
He grinned wide and nodded. “sold like 12 of them on ebay the highest bid is at 1,000” he stuck out his tongue slightly as he snapped and everything poofed into place with a light green smoke. The movie was starting, beej was pressed against her and he already was stuffing his face with popcorn. The lights were off but there was a weird orange light coming from somewhere. She didn't bother looking because her eyes didn't feel strained for the first time in hours.
“if I puke your dealing with it” he hummed in response and wrapped a arm around her shoulders, nails gently scratching. That Dickhead was trying to put her to sleep! It obviously wasn't gonna work..
Her eyes started to feel heavy. She forced them wide as she stared at the tv but then a hand started scratching at her scalp and she was slowly getting laid down, head resting on beetlejuice's thigh. Maybe a few minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt. Before she let her eyes shut she felt a kiss being pressed to her head and a soft but gruff “I love you” being spoken before beej cackling at a woman getting stabbed- or bit? She couldn't see. She let her eyes close and the warmth of beej relax her as she drifted off.
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therealslimshakespeare · 11 months ago
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Dear John || Something Borrowed
Masters of the Air fanfiction
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Summary: Upon the sudden stop of all their correspondence, Miss Lana Tierney finds herself bereft of her pen pal John Egan’s support -not however, without him first having made a heavy declaration and entrusted her with a precious bit of himself. Battling Tinsel Town’s awful labyrinth of censors, agents, and an ever disloyal mother, Lana seeks to find John, and having once found him, to remind him of his promise to try. Meanwhile in Stalag Luft III, Major Gale Cleven may loiter at his incriminating radio longer than strictly necessary in hopes of hearing a voice that would bring his best friend a shred of hope.
My many thanks to: Christi and Ashley for endless amounts of encouragement and advice and enrichment of the plot, y’all are invaluable darlings and precious friends. To Bri who has been the brains and requests behind the concept and the beating heart behind giving Bucky a love of a lifetime
Warnings: 18+ disturbing content. Not so much war focused but rather Hollywood in the 40’s which can be horribly gruesome itself. We are happily ripping off Lana Turner’s real story for much of this, and so in this chapter you will find mentions of certain harrowing abuses she endured. Such as: brief references to a forced, studio-required abortion, bugging of a woman’s room, arranged engagements, drugging, hinted sexual exploitation, willing current sexual favors in return for a role, Bucky going a little nuts as a POW, Lana’s mother being the worst, John Huston making a cameo that will probably make you wanna punch the guy. It’s ok, the real fella deserved it. Go ahead. Again, nothing explicit, didn’t wanna get all yucky but these themes are prevalent in here in passing.
Word count: a whopping 8k
Character name reminder: Julie Jean Turner goes by the Hollywood alias of “Lana Tierney”
Lana lay abed and stewed. She was past grief, or perhaps it was easier explained that Grief and her sisters, Denial and Betrayal, were more of Julie Jean Turner’s privilege. Miss Lana Tierney, academy hopeful and box office gold, had little left but rage and the moist silk of her pillow pressed to her burning cheek.
“What an awful few days it’s been.” she’d allowed herself to say a few weeks back.
The Julie Jean of that week didn’t know the meaning of the word.
Life was bad enough then, back when he called, but his voice cured everything from her terrible week. Vincent and the engagement and the studios, all of it. But then came a letter, one written awfully like a goodbye, and another one after it but all of them were little provisions for if he were to go down.
Scribbled hours before going up.
“I love you, I know it’s a lot to spring on a gal who’s just doing her bit and keeping me happy but I do. It’s an awful type of love, Julie, very tight fisted and I think I only love you because you love me so well in your way. I don’t think that’s the sort of love to do anybody any good, but I’d regret not saying it, beginners can’t be haughty. Here I wanted to stick my toe in and you gobbled the whole leg, and I love you. I love you for it. I love you.”
She’d rubbed over his signature, not a bit of cursive in that scrawled -John- a million times.
And then, just like that, just like what had happened to her friends and a million women across the world- his letters simply stopped. Julie Jean learned elsewhere he’d been shot down for weeks by the time she’d gotten the last one. It was hard to have finally heard his voice and known of his purpose, but now? -a dead silence that had a voice and face and love attached to it. It was agony of a sort she’d never known and was made worse by the loneliness in her secrecy of not being able to mourn it aloud.
She moaned into the mess of her pillowcase and ignored Bertha's fifth knock of the afternoon. Who’d recognize the glamorous Miss Tierney now? Pitiful and tear streaked and pale from blood loss. She still lay on a chucks pad the studio nurse had rolled her onto, a feeble trickle still seeping between her legs. Curled on her side with eyes glinting at the afternoon sun, she seethed at one more thing taken from her.
Lana could hardly stand it. But she had to try. She’d made John promise he would. They’d promised each other, and somehow she hadn’t any doubts that wherever he was, he was trying.
“Miss Tierney?” That was Herbert’s voice and Jean rolled her eyes at the predictability of this household. After not answering Delores they sent in Bertha and upon not answering Bertha here was Herbert and if she didn’t answer him, her mother might manage to rouse herself and drive over.
“Come in Herb, if you must.” she groaned, hand outstretched and patting blindly for a cigarette on her nightstand.
Her old driver came in with an unusually light step, it bespoke a sympathy for her plight that Jean would have preferred a thousand times never to read on his usually persnickety face. “How are you holding up after -“ he stood awkwardly at the foot of her bed as Jean rummaged and when she sat back with cigarette and holder in hand, she found him looking down at her with such concern she nearly threw the lamp at him. “Tonsillitis, huh?” he hummed sympathetically.
“Oh yes, nasty bout.” she lied merrily, the ache in her violated womb protested her move to sit up. “They had to take them clean out.” it was the only printable explanation for her ailment.
“Yeah.” Herb had been a renowned stuntman before he’d been demoted to driver, and before stuntman he’d been a soldier in the trenches and before that he’d been a clerk. If anyone knew about coat hangers and poor girls held down to be kept forever virginal and ever in use, Herb knew. Herb had warned her even, told her what a sick racket they ran here in Tinsel Town. Much good it did her, she was in too deep before she knew she had so much as stuck her toe in.
Rather like Bucky in love, apparently, and that thought made her madly blink away a stupid rush of tears.
“What’s that?” she pointed at the parcel she just now noticed was tucked under his arm.
“Oh, this? Chocolates. Here, my lighter miss?” Whatever was under Herbert’s arm wasn’t shaped like any chocolates she knew and Jean was about to give him a talking to for being insipid when her mood was so poor but then she saw him press a warning finger to his lips. He walked around the side of her bed and indeed pulled out a lighter, metal and rude and no doubt a relic of the first war, and flicked it for her to light up. Bending down he smelled of tobacco himself when he took the unprecedented liberty of whispering in her ear: “They bugged the room during your operation, Miss. Must be careful. Especially if you want to keep your gift.”
He pulled away and looked down at her sorrowfully before quietly laying the dirty brown package atop her pristine sheets. Mother had them changed after the bloodbath of the…operation. They were spotless before and now they were sooty. That pleased her.
Jean forgot to look away from him. She was startled and upset by the news but she didn’t doubt it. They’d probably bugged the phone ages ago, god knows they’d stop at next to nothing and she did so want to keep something for herself. If she couldn’t have a baby, her baby, then she’d keep a parcel, damn them all. Then a cold feeling of dread filled her and she thought to grab at her books and look for the hidden letters.
Gone. Mother. It must’ve been mother, it was her sort of thing to have rifled through Lana’s things while she was being operated on and found them and took them and-
The rage spurred her to look down at what Herb brought her, cigarette forgotten between her quivering lips. She expected it to be from him, a little pep up. Perhaps a doll or a stuffed animal to cheer her. But no, this parcel in its plain brown wrapping had come from afar, smudged and delayed a million times judging by its redirected stamps -and she’d know that writing from anywhere.
Her Johnny.
Julie Jean’s little gasp let slip the cigarette from her mouth but not before Herb caught it from singeing the sheets. He was quicker than anyone gave the old man credit for, banged up head or not. “Thought that might cheer you.” he grinned in that begrudging way of his, as if he were cross at the joy made manifest on his face.
“I’m scared.” she admitted in a whisper, hands hovering over the brown twine strings. Whatever was inside was squishy and giving. And whatever it was, John had sent it before he’d been shot down. But still, somehow it felt like a gift from him on this, the worst day of her life. Like he was sending some comfort even from hell on earth and without a clue of her own dispair. Herb seemed to read it the same way, and that’s how Jean knew she wasn’t being a delusional, hysterical wreck, if that crusty old sod knew its significance in coming today, then it was plain as the irregular nose on his face.
“Scared of chocolate?” His tease covered a strong reminder for her to watch her words.
“Mm, yes, what if there’s raspberry filled ones?” she whispered back. “You know how I can’t abide raspberries.”
“Guess you’ll just have to be brave and see.” he nudged her.
Nodding her head solemnly, Jean tugged apart the twine that had kept John Egan’s package together for an entire transcontinental delivery. It fell away with a crinkling sound and she found folded upon it, without a bit of fuss or wrapping, the oddest piece of cloth. Almost a patchwork of pale leather and a zipper and -Jean’s throat closed as her hand descended and felt along the soft fluff of a sheepskin collar.
He didn’t. He didn’t send her his jacket? Surely —
Herb made a noncommittal noise beside her which sounded awfully like some touched sorta gasp at the sight, but as it was Herb and he had a tobacco wad where he should have had a heart, so he must’ve been coming down with the same cold that landed Lana in tonsil surgery.
Hands shaky and heart hammering, Jean reached in and pulled the garment out, a tiny little note fluttered out. Someone else’s penmanship. “To the care of Jean Turner, until it can be retrieved by Major Egan.”
“Oh god.” she felt like sobbing before pressing her face into the sweat fumed plushness of it. “Johnny. Johnny. Johnny.” she kept his name buried in his jacket, secret like his gift and his love and his comfort and her desires. Eyes and mouth muffled into the darkness of something that was his. She felt Herb’s gentle hand pat on her head and the following click of the latch as he went out.
“Mister Vincent called to say there’s dinner and photographs scheduled for tonight, Miss Tierney.” he informed her levelly before he left and her ears were not so buried in Air Force Shearling she couldn’t hear of her doom. “There’s been some speculations -they want to smooth it over. Bertha was trying to pass it on.”
Bertha wanted to wipe off whatever remaining blood was on her and primp all signs of coercion off her devastated face, that’s what Bertha was here for. Jean vaguely wondered if her mother’s clenching hand print still lingered on her cheeks, she rubbed John’s jacket against the soreness of her mouth, muffling her sobs the way her mother’s hand had stifled her screams of pain only hours ago.
Back to work, asap, it would seem. -Bleed down your nylons dear, it’ll be alright, so long as they see a happy face and a lucky new couple.
Vincent. She wasn’t sure how she’d face him, the weekend getaway and his little “test drive” of her had been bad enough, the fact he hadn’t the brains to prevent it from having consequences or the spine to stand up for the life of the child he made- oh, she wondered how she’d manage to down her asparagus in the face of it all. Acting, she presumed, a true talent that had suddenly become a personality since -since? -she wasn’t sure when.
Beside her for months now, stacked beneath the pile of new Runyon books she’d taken out of the library, had been a pile of letters that didn’t have a bit of acting in them. Raw and true and terrible and wanton, each of John Egan’s thoughts tumbled off their confining pages and into her heart in mirrored response to her own. Now mother had them.
Jean wondered where all her own letters to him were, now that he was gone and someone else was in his bunk.
Funny to think of that, the most honest account of herself was most likely moldering in the bottom of some MIA airman’s footlocker.
It was all a bit self indulgent, she admitted even as she stripped out of her bloody gown and down to her bare skin, but she had lost plenty and she needed him: so she slipped him on, soft wool caressing her and stopping the shivers of shock that had wracked her all morning. It smelled so manly and sweaty and terribly real she about swooned at the sensation of having a bit of him next to her. Now she’d seen him -all those darling candid photos in repayment for hers- and she’d heard him -oh that awful, wonderful telephone call right before he disappeared- and now she was smelling him.
Jean would have to bathe and take a handful of aspirin and cinch in her girdle and kiss her fiancée tonight, but for a brief hour she layed in bed naked as a baby with her gift wrapped around her like swaddling clothes.
Vincent came later with the car, one of his father’s for certain, and eyed her choice of outerwear with a sour mouth. Fleece and chiffon was an odd mix but Lana always had been a trendsetter and it was early November, even if it was Los Angeles. Of course, for her the jacket was John, and so she wore him like armor -and if she was wearing it, they couldn’t take it without her knowing.
“I’m cold.” she answered Vin’s unspoken question sharply on the ride over, “I’ve just had tonsil surgery, you may recall?”
“It stinks.” he huffed back, his nose presumptuously nuzzling under her curls and very near the sweat soaked fleece, “Smells like a barnyard.”
What it smelled like was a red blooded American man’s honest days work killing Nazis. But Vincent and his pale hands and arranged medical exemptions weren’t likely to know what that smelled like, so Lana felt compelled to give him a pass. “It’s for the war effort,” she sighed, “we must all make sacrifices. Mr. Warner told me it would be grand press to wear it.”
She’d never spoken to Mr. Warner about much else but weather and her tits, but growing ever more desperate as these days went on, Lana thought perhaps she’d pay him a visit.
“Great press?” Vincent seethed, charmingly one track focused, “The press should be about our engagement! Not the war!”
“Be a realest, dahling,” she soothed, “nothing, not even the great scion of a prestigious family such as yours is half as fascinating right now as ball bearings and top turret production in Greenfield. If we want them to print about our engagement, it’s got to have something to do with the general war, see?“
“Ah, ah I see.” Vincent swallowed her lie well enough, still perturbed at the fracturing of his beloved media attention but consoled that Lana was not aspiring to make him a fool.
Oh how foolish that was of him, Lana hummed to herself as they pulled up to the restaurant, perhaps not tonight or in a week's time. No, for now she was down and out and no doubt about it, but eventually, she’d scramble on top, she had to or she’d be offed eventually by it all. She knew that now, it was plain with each aching step on wobbly legs and each smile of her crimped, anemic face, Vincent’s pliable hand more vice than support on her elbow as she stepped out under Chasens’ green awning.
There was conversation and photographs all through dinner, her agent and a Warner Brothers executive kindly gracing the table with heavy, stilted and very implied conversation. Lana might’ve breathed better in her booth had they held an actual gun to her head and told her to finish her parsnips that way. They were very happy she had recovered from the tonsillitis so well, they were very eager to see her on set bright and early tomorrow, they were very eager that any doubt about how in love she was with the respectable Vincent be ameliorated -a very big word to say with a mouthful of steak- and very hopeful that Lana wouldn’t get any ideas about a repeat of the War Bond tour. Yes the last one had been very effective and the government was pleased, but too much exposure to common crowds had a tendency to lessen the goddess effect, she must be let out to the pubic sparingly, and they in turn must not feel entitled to her in any way.
Such as…reaching out through the post, for example, much less expecting to be answered with anything less standardized than what Bertha might write twenty times over in her name in an afternoon.
“I just want to do my part.” Lana demurred.
“Oh honey, you’ve done your part, and now you’ve got a new part. Make a wish.” And there before her was brought out a cake slice with much fanfare, icing making a pretty little drizzle of words -“speedy recovery Lana, love from everyone at Warner Brothers Studio.”
She’d seen actresses carried out plastered to the four winds on sedative from slices just like this one, chivalrously poured into a waiting backseat of a producer or studio head, taken back to be put to bed. God knows what else happened in those beds. Her nausea returned fourfold and it wasn’t acting when she gasped a need to go to the powder room.
Instead she dashed to the phone, the one in the cubby near the toilets, trying resolutely to ignore the spying eyes of waiters and curious waves of famous guests passing by.
“Pick up, Herb, pick up.” she begged, listening to it ring and ring, then suddenly felt a horrid fear at the realization she’d left the jacket slung over her chair at the booth, with Vincent. “Herb please, please.” she moaned, stomping one well shod foot against the marble floor.
“Hallo?”
“Herb, oh Herb!” Lana gushed urgently on hearing him pick up, “You must come pick me up, they’re onto me with the letters and they’ve brought out cake and- bring a car, Vincent brought his father’s-“
“-Thank yeeew, Herbert, that will be all.” Mother’s affected transatlantic sent shivers down Lana’s spine right as she felt the cold clasp of her rings around her wrist, receiver wrenched effectively from her nerveless hand, “This is a family matter, your services are not required.”
“Mommy dearest.” Lana felt her lips trembling in a odd way that fought against the creeping numbness, “What a pleasant surprise.”
“Would that I could say the same, Lana.” Mother reproved, “To abandon your fiancé without thought? And to find you calling on Herbert, like this were some otiresome fundraiser from which you may carelessly abscond -really. Your behavior is nothing but deplorable lately, I hardly know you. The cost, Lana, think of the cost of it all, this recklessness.”
“Who told you?”
“That you weren’t appreciative of the cake?” Mother smiled shyly, “Alfonso.”
The owner, of course, when he couldn’t get a hand up Lana herself he had become quite partial to mother, loyal to an opulent degree. She suspected that cake more than ever, the phone, too. God there was no getting out of this town, this place, this life.
“Alfonso says you’re distracted,” mother went on, “pale and sniffing some jacket? What has gotten into you?”
“Vincent.” Lana joked miserably and if half of Hollywood wasn’t sat so near, she’s rather sure her mother might’ve struck her.
“You’re going to go back out there, and you’re going to smile for the pictures, and you’re going to like it.” Mother laid out the case, the plan and the rest of her life, “And when we go home you’ll be getting a piece of my mind.”
“Oh really mother,” Lana sighed heavily, “I couldn’t take the last piece.”
The pinch on her arm was familiar of when Lana was a child and refused to sing in yet another talent show - the fifth that weekend. “Your fault for falling ill, now we must make up for lost time.” they were gliding back to the table arm in arm with Lana’s pale skin pinched between mother’s manicure, “Smile, darling, smile and wave.” as they wove between one starry guest and another.
Mother’s gait stalled for one fraction of a moment upon coming up to the table and seeing the bizarre article of clothing hanging over Lana’s chair. “Works better than a mink.” Lana proclaimed quite loudly, giddy enough to attract most male attention around who craned their necks to watch her shimmy it on for a try-on, much to Mother’s feigned amusement. She shimmied in the fleece, chiffon doing little to hide the jiggle of her derrière beneath the jacket’s hem and the flash of a bulb cracked significantly amongst the dinner chatter.
“It’s much too large for you -the sleeves, the shoulders-“
“That’s because it’s a genuine article mother!” Lana preened, satisfied to have caught the eye of the one she wanted as he sat in his booth.
Powerful and dark and lecherous, The Jack Huston stared at her unabashedly over the haze of his cigarette, his own date forgotten, taking in the way the man’s coat dwarfed her little body in a pantomime of covering her physically, masculine leather and zipper in stark contrast to baby soft skin swelling out of her neckline. She knew that look well, one of a man sizing her up for how she’d look beneath him.
Lana smirked at him significantly, squeezing the material around her dreamily and created a significantly more substantial amount of decollage for him to view upon doing so. “Lana, sit down for god’s sake.” Mother was hissing and Lana saw Huston laugh at it, she rolled her eyes and dramatically shrugged, seating herself as asked but refusing to break eye contact with him until he raised his glass in a toast to her brazenness.
“Lana, photographers! Come now! Chin up, smile, smile darling.”
There were so many flashbulbs here it was obnoxious to not only Lana’s throbbing eyes but the other patrons, still a hard launch of a stilted, lab grown relationship was hardly an oddity in Hollywood or its most favored eating spots, and so it was endured.
“Doll, open up,” Vincent cajoled in Lana’s ear, hand kneading her waist and nose pressed to her hair, “practice for the wedding.”
It looked quite humorous if a little uncouth in the papers next day, Lana’s gasping and amused indulgence of her green boy fiancé as he playfully stuffed her mouth with cake in that pitiful tradition of marital provocation.
“Look at my dearest daughter, tonsil surgery yesterday and already, so eager, can’t be kept from dinner with her darling fiancé!”
The world grew fuzzy as Lana did her best to keep the wad of cake in her gums until she could spit the most of it out. “Tell your studio i want compensation for having to share press with the war effort.” Vin was complaining to the executive and Lana felt her world swim, only one single, dire hope remaining -Herb.
She gripped the edges of the jacket tighter and tried to focus. Mother was being called away, taking her leave with a photographed kiss to Lana’s clammy temple -some business with Aunt Lu and that promised check for her swimming pool. Lana had put in a lot of swimming pools for a lot of relatives, she was beginning to lose track between the pools and the houses and the cars and the wardrobes and always -“it’s family, Lana, they depend on you. Chin up, smile, smile darling, smile for the cameras, there’s my golden girl, box office magic.”
“Lana it’s very important you understand the role of an engaged woman-“ the executive was very insistent and Lana was very tired and very fuzzy feeling, which apparently Vincent could sense as his hands began to grow courageous in his petting, “-it’s a fine balance between respectability and attainability. The studio has worked so hard to give you this life, made enormous sacrifices so you could have a chance at this career, created an expertly crafted persona for you -if you were to jeopardize it all in any way, by inviting speculation about yourself or your lackluster roots-“
Lana was about ready to stand up and scream “I’m Julie Jean Turner from Broken Arrow Oklahoma!” and watch the deflated disinterest cover her audience like snow, it would ruin the effect -she wanted them to care that her life was a lie, but as soon as she told the truth, they’d lose all interest either way. Fame was funny like that.
“Mr Vincent,” Alfonso was most solicitous as well as perispring when he hurried over to her fiancé’s side, “there’s been an incident, your car, sir! The windows, they are smashed! And there appear to be eggs?”
Lana wasn’t sure she successfully suppressed the bubbling little laugh that flitted out of her leaden chest at Vincent’s deathly white pallor. There were two of him in her fractured, drug impaired vision and he acted like looney twins, scrambling up from the table in a flurry of hands and pomade, tux tails flapping like a frightened bird. “It’s my father’s car you idiot! Where was the doorman? Where?”
“Ooooh daddy’s gonna be mad.” Lana cooed to herself, amused at how this failure of a son couldn’t land a deal or a car or his own, only a troublesome actress who was in dire love with a man she’d never met.
Dear Herb, the eggs were such a nice touch.
The executive was waving off the cameras, this part of the night hardly suitable to be recorded. “Stewart, phone call for you.” A commanding, sonorous voice beside her sent goose flesh popping along Lana’s arms beneath the jacket, Jack Huston and his cologne suddenly pervading the place like an ominous deity casting its shadow over the now almost empty table.
“Mr. Huston.” Lana simpered sweetly when Stewart had left and it was just them alone with his hand on the back of her chair, thumbing at the lamb skin. There were two of Huston too, in her vision, and Lana gulped in trepidation of having to please both.
“Miss Tierney,” he replied, grinning a little too wide for her to focus, “you know what you look like you need?”
“What’s that, Mr. Huston?”
“Call me Jack.”
“What’s that Jack?” she tittered, happily courting ruin.
“A nightcap.” Jack declared and was extending a large palm for her before she could second guess. It was the choice of a lion over a wolf here in Hollywood, and Lana had such plans for Mr. Huston. But, like most things, Lana’s plans must wait until Mr. Huston’s plans for her had been satisfactorily met.
Of all the backseats to be poured into in Hollywood, Huston’s was rather plush and smelled nice and had a clinking little bar in the console, well stocked and vintage. Better yet, the car wasn’t his father’s, it was his. As was his mind and his time and his appetite. Lana could only dream of having that sort of brash freedom, for now she must attach herself to those who did if she so much as wanted a taste.
“So what’s with the jacket?” Mr. Huston had the liberty to be casual on a ride back to his house with a much desired starlet, after all, he had a slam dunk assurance she wasn’t going to say no on arrival.
“It belongs to a man who loves me.” she slurred earnestly.
“Pilot?”
“Yes. He writes the sweetest, filthiest things.”
“To you?”
“Only to me.” she whispered with drunken vehemence.
“I bet he does.” Huston laughed.
Mr. Huston enjoyed ribbons: tying them around her, to be specific but of all the novel and varied ways to be satisfactory it wasn’t so bad, and when he lay next to her afterwards as the drug began to take her fully under, Lana was pleased by the heavy arm around her waist. He didn't care about the tonsillitis. Bucky’s jacket hung carefully over the armchair in her line of sight, Jack had been nice about that, too.
Yes she could make some use of Huston and his ribbons and his new army uniform and his government contracts.
————————————————-
“I was insensible.” Lana maintained the following day at a meeting with Mother and Stewart and a slew of concerned agents and executives who were pleased enough by the engaged cake smashing photographs, less so by the discreet vandalizing of their blonde product by John Huston. “I don’t know what you put in that cake but it did the trick and I was as aghast as you upon waking up where I woke up.”
“And the jacket?” Mother had her priorities straight, troublesome memorabilia first, dear daughter’s virtue second.
“Shoot, I think Huston has it.” Lana whimpered, “I was in such a state, such a rush to leave-“
“Well that was a very unfortunate oversight, Lana.”
“I know.”
“He could use it against us.” Mother fretted.
“He’d make a fool of himself if he did,” Stewart shined best when full of his self-bloated importance and meetings such as these were essential fuel for that importance, “it would look like he took a pilot to bed.”
“Stewart, she’s all over the nation’s morning paper’s wearing the horrid thing!” Mother snapped and while she herself was admittedly awful most times, Lana never doubted she was shrewd, far more than Stewart and all the men in the room she jockeyed for lead with. “In fact Lana, this has really brought to a head a growing issue. Your restlessness, your ingratitude, it’s become insufferable and now it jeparadizes everything. I am speaking of the coat but also of the letters. Oh yes, I know all about those.”
A wise performance required Lana to play the frightened and shocked little miscreant and so she did, wide doe eyes looking beseechingly penitent and horrified in the face of having been caught doing a single independent thing. “Oh mother-“
“They are bad enough with their filth and their familiarity,” mother cut her off, “but to have written to him in your old name! Lana, the carelessness! It’s a mercy he’s dead, think of the presumptuous attitude he would have adopted had he returned. Unthinkable!”
“Dead?” Lana felt her throat close up, wishing desperately to be back in his jacket again, regretting most harshly her high-priced scheming of last night. All of it had been for him, and he was dead.
“Quite dead.” Mother was irritated by her crestfallen state but not so much as to prevent her crowing over little Lana’s misstep. “And now I am burdened with the necessity of tracking down his effects, getting your side of the correspondence back, think of the unpleasantness of contacting his family! Conversations with dead servicemen's families are always so tedious. You do recall what a bore it was for me to have to carry-on with them on your tour. And all of this to get back your filthy, perverse break of discretion.”
“Were they to get out they’d ruin your reputation.” Stewart put in the obvious, “They’d reveal your plain and common upbringing, your drab name and worse, you would be known to be a horny, hungry young woman.”
Lana stared at him across from his desk, that adrift feeling of aloneness taking over her, such as she’d only felt a few times in her life, like when her mother left her on her first studio couch for an audition, despite her pleas to stay. “Yes,” she agreed faintly, “it would be a terrible thing for an object of desire to appear willing. Or wanting, at all capable of their own needs. It would really ruin the shine of it all, I see.”
“Lana!”
“Oh mother, really, pimped out all my life -all for it to be ruined by the suggestion I might like it!”
“It’s worse than all that.” Stewart insisted gravely, immune to female objections and tantrums, “I’ve been contacted this morning by one of the branches of our government dealing with espionage and information,” -no wonder he was feeling so very important today- “and they’re concerned that the German Air Force is aware of your correspondence with Major Agen-“
“It’s Egan, actually.”
“-Agen and a tapped phone call as well, they have concerns, Lana, about the Germans using this connection as leverage on him, now they have him in their camps, under their thumb, at their mercy.”
Lana’s fractured world slid together again like a suctioned mosaic, one focal point of reason being clear. “He’s a prisoner of war.” she knew just the right inquisitive tone to encourage Stewart to keep blabbing.
“Yes.” Stewart was very grave and very important about being privy to this information, and Mother let out a fuming little cluck of her tongue at his fumble.
“So, he’s a prisoner.” she smirked triumphantly at Mother and was not corrected for once. “Not dead.”
“Good as dead.” Mother clarified.
Lana still smiled, she could work with “good as.”
———————————————-
“Jack?” Lana had timed her delicate attack most carefully, waiting until Huston was relaxed but not asleep, dressing but not in a hurry, happy but not restless, and most importantly, not remotely tired of her.
“What doll?” Jack had a broad back and nice hands, sometimes Lana imagined they were rather like Egan’s, or maybe that’s what she told herself to keep the tears at bay long enough for each amorous performance to conclude, “Your mother bitchin’ about me again?”
“Well,” she shied away into the bedding, “to be honest, yes.”
“Little rebel.” he praised her on his way to sling on his suspenders, apparently he was going out tonight, she felt a clench of panic in her gut at the need to throw her pitch before he left or hushed her.
“Jack I’ve been thinking.” She began again.
“Not what you’re payed for, doll.”
“No, true.” Lana was used to laughing at that same joke told by a couple dozen different men, “But is that skit competition still on? The one for the CBS slot?”
“Yeah, few more days left, why?”
“Anything promising yet?” Lana ventured carefully, Jack was so very busy with all these government contracts for documentaries and proganada shows, and ever since then he’d had a very short fuse, fussy over his stalled artistic dreams. Not that he didn’t care about the war, he did in fact, and that’s why Lana liked him if she liked him at all. But he liked it the way a movie maker does, he wanted to tell stories and he wanted to be somebody important, and if he wasn’t going to be shot at he damn sure would be known to hang about the guys who were.
He was off to the Pacific to film some Marines mucking about on some godforsaken Atoll in a month or more. She had to make her move.
In the meantime, he was to organize a broadcast. Lana bad learned that from the grapevine at Warner’s, Betty D. dropping as much over her three carrots at lunch.
“I was wondering why we haven’t got ourselves an anecdote to Axis Sally.” Lana chose to be blunt, Jack was different from other men, he liked her babified act as much as the next man, but he’d belted her too for ‘playing dumb’. Since then she’d said her mind, as much as she dared and he called her idiotic often, but she’d not been belted again. “Our boys keep listening to that trash, and the housewives too, just to hear reports on the missing and the prisoners.”
“They listen ‘cause she’s sexy and funny.” Jack informed her with a pointed look.
“That too.” Lana contemplated the sheets before her, “But can’t we be funny and sexy too? Instead of demoralizing we could be happy! And we’d not have reports on prisoners but we could give them clues and hope, in case anyone's listening in.”
“Listening in.” Jack had stopped his halfhearted listening to her, wheeling suddenly with cuff links partway hanging, “You mean in camps?”
“Camps. Resistance. Wherever.”
“They don’t let them have radios, ya know.” Huston pointed out, but it wasn’t said in argument, he was pondering too.
“You know they still manage.” Lana smiled softly and he smiled back.
“Ok, what’s the pitch?” He sighed and sat himself down again on the side of the bed, evening plans abandoned for the moment.
Lana’s heart swelled with hope and the delicious feeling of being taken seriously. Even if she was lying in his bed with hair a mess and dignity mighty rumpled. “Perhaps we could tack onto Fred Allen’s spot? Hasn’t he got a vacancy? A variety show? A skit? I don’t know, but we could have repeat actors and we could have guest stars. And it could- it could be a girl-“
“-Allied Sally.” Huston joked and Lana genuinely snickered at that.
“Something like that.” She agreed, chagrined at the need for a catchy, corney radio name, “And she could be waiting for her sweetheart, sending him messages and well wishes and jokes and -Oh! The score! The scores on everything! Baseball! Jack!”
“Calm down, calm down, it’s decent.” Jack hushed her, waving her giddy self back down as she warmed to her topic, “And you could be her.” he stated the obvious.
“Don’t you think I’d manage it well?” She cajoled, cocking her shoulder in her best pantomime of a coquette. “Aren’t I funny and sexy, Mr. Huston?”
“Hmph,” he scratched his cheek and stared at her as if summing up the likelihood of this working, “needs another angle. Beyond skits.”
“Alright. Like what?”
Huston secured his cuff links, smile broadening as his mind began to whirl, “Letters.” he stated and Lana’s heart froze, “Love letters, we gotta keep it sexy, you said so yourself. There’s nothing so funny as a redacted letter being read out over the censors. The constant beeps alone will get laughs, give it the right inflection in between and you’ll have a game on your hands with the listeners guessing and filling in.”
“Letters.” Lana mumbled in agreement, numb at the brilliance of it and filled with horror at the idea of monetizing what John Egan had given her -connection, love, devotion, grit, humor. But this broadcast, it might be the only way to keep in any sort of contact with him. At what cost? Would he care at all for her after it? Would he think she used him up for a little business inspiration? Oh she couldn’t bear it, yet worse, she couldn’t bear life as Vincent’s wife, locked in for another ten years at Warner’s under mother’s thumb. “It’s brilliant.”
“Almost uncanny how likely a story it is.” Huston grunted as he pulled on a shoe, sending her a sly look that broke her a heart a little more, “Nothing so powerful as a tale based on a real thing, Lana.” he reminded forcefully.
The letters, the blackmail her mother hung over her, all of it dealt with if this pitch became a reality. It would all fade into a myth. And with it all the realness John had brought her. “Yes, I said -it’s brilliant.”
“Yeah, well, easy does it for now.” He cautioned, “Gotta sort your mother and let that contract expire gently. I’ll pitch it myself. See what CBS can wrangle up. Don’t get your hopes up and keep that jacket safe, it’ll be invaluable when we get you a storyline for it.”
“Right.”
“Well go on, tell mommy dearest.” he goaded, nodding to the phone.
“Oh they wouldn’t be approving.” Lana disagreed, referring to the whole pack of them, her mother and her lawyers and her agents.
“Why not? Sounds like great business. Solves all the scandal too.”
“Something like this part-“ Lana demurred, “-wouldn’t suit my image, mother says.”
Jack barked out a rough laugh, plopped back down on the bed and tugging the sheets from her clutches. “Your mother does realize you’re walking wank material, right? That’s your image.”
“Yes,” Lana sighed, “but…unwilling, she says. That’s the crucial part.”
“Oh. Yeah, well,” Jack eyed her up, “you do make a great impression of a scared lamb in bed.”
“They’re concerned it’ll make me too independent. Like the War Bond tour,” she gave a wistful smile, “I kissed so many boys my lips swelled right up. It was grand.”
“Now Lana,” Huston cautioned, “I’m not on any crusade to liberate you, myself.”
“Oh I know!” She was quick to assure, ever the obliging little lady, “And I don’t want to be. Not from you or the studio-“
“-just from mother dearest?” he nodded knowingly, not knowing the half of it.
“Yes.” she pretended great relief at his perception.
“Huh, well, good. Because this idea would have a contract of its own, and it would be long if I’m any judge of the longevity of the project. You’ll be locked in for years.”
“But it’ll be my choice.” She reaffirmed, and this time she meant it.
“And you’ll look willing.” Jack grinned and she grinned back, compulsively like a child mimicking their threat. “Might take some practice though, to make you look willing. Get over here, doll.”
———————————————-
Major Gale Cleven was appreciative of the dangers of listening to the radio in camp, it was one of those necessary and crucial risks that required responsible stewardship and utmost care. It wasn’t a flippant pastime and it wasn’t a recreation, but then again, neither was it strictly business. Like much of their lives as prisoners of war, he and his fellow soldiers toed a strict line between honoring their captors’ jurisdictions while also thwarting their imposed restrictions at every possible juncture.
Sometimes one should listen to the radio because that is what free men did, and Gale Cleven tried by any means possible- letters, books, calculus or his frigid metal headset- to stay free in his mind, to comport himself with the same surety as his free counterpart.
Otherwise, you lived like a ghost in your own body. And that was no good for oneself or those around you. As everyone who shared a bunk and combine with John Egan was quickly learning. The immediate joy of reuniting with him, the fear of losing him to his wounds, the relief of his recovery, it had all leveled out at the end like a anticlimactic ride on a rollercoaster, skidding to a plateau where he was neither well enough to be exempt from Gale’s concern, nor ill enough to warrant the patience required to put up with his rabid moods. Always restless, being kept in the glamorized equivalent of a dog run was hardly fitting for his nature. It was hard on everyone, but Gale wasn’t such a relativist as to assume John Egan had it the same as everyone. Some folks required more miles and more sky to keep them sane, and Bucky was one of those.
It had tipped Gale into a habit that could no longer be qualified as strictly informative, nor could he defend it as necessary where he to get caught. It was undoubtedly poor stewardship to spend an extra half hour listening to the inane comedy of a BBC guest production. But he had started it to cheer Brady when Glenn Miller’s band was on, and it had done such good for him and Bucky as they crowded ‘round, that Gale had since stayed alert for any other such ‘triviality’ that might be of use.
If the Colonel walked in and demanded an explanation for this extra bit of carelessness, Cleven thought he might make a decent defense about waiting for Ed Murrow to come on, broadcasting for CBS from London, always with a decent take on what was happening in the war. The motivation of Murrow often having stars on his program was completely erroneous.
Or so Gale swore to himself for the tenth time as Demarco kept watch and he himself painstakingly tuned the dials and bent his ear to sort the static.
There was music and the typical overlap of voices for awhile until he honed it down, British and American accents floating in, obnoxiously layered all on top of each other still, yet this time intentional. He must’ve hit a variety show. He gave himself two minutes, that much he’d allow and if the thing he’d been waiting for in secret for months did not occur,
he’d move right on or pack up for the night.
“I’m not sure about no boy writing you letters!” a man’s voice crackled through, comedically irate.
The next voice was girlish, smooth despite the poor frequency and made the hair of Gale’s arms stand on end from universal male appreciation and a gut wrenching sense of recognition: “Well I don’t know any more about it, paw paw, except that he loves me and I love him!”
“Yeah?” -Gale thought perhaps that was Bob Hope’s voice, play acting as the fuming father figure, “Yeah, then tell me, dear daughter, what sorta fella calls the girl he loves: Acorn! Huh?”
Gale’s eyes bugged from his head, glassy and shocked and Crank rushed over in solidarity, terribly sure the whole continent of North America had just been reported as broken off into the sea. “What is it Buck?”
“Crank!” Gale croaked, “Go! Go get Egan, tell him his girl’s on the radio and to get his ass in here, goooo!”
“Egan’s got a girl?” Benny was bewildered.
“Acorn!” Brady and Gale yelled in unison.
“But that’s Lana Tierney.” Crank pointed over the spunk wall, or as it was called in more noble moments of higher aspiration, the Wall of Hopes and Dreams, where Lana and Rita smiled tantalizingly and warm from their crinkled posters, down on the men’s bunks.
“Yes, Acorn. Go!”
Gale held his breath and listened harder, trying to gauge how far into the sketch he had caught them, wishing them to linger, as if by sheer willpower alone he could make her stay on until Bucky got there.
Fuck -acorn? Why would she use that? She had to be out of her mind to dare a thing like that, had to be just to get his attention, right? Surely? Had to be out of her mind, Gale decided, which was just another diagnosis for love. And that gave him pause.
“What’s your feller anyway? He a squirrel?” Bob Hope was pressing the issue right as Bucky burst in with a flurry of flapping overcoat and steaming breath.
“Get in here, come on, get over here.” Gale stood up and pointed to his vacated seat, shoving Bucky down for good measure and crouching to press the headpiece to his ear, wanting to share it for some idiotic reason, as if like a parent he could cut the cord if something sad or risky came on.
“Maybe he is,” Lana was breathily defending, “and we’ll live happily ever after in our tree. And there’s nothing you or Jerry can do to stop us!”
“Shit.” Egan breathed out reverently like he’d been punched real and good and an epiphany on life was brewing beneath his shuttering smile. “Holy hell it -it is her. It’s acorn.”
“On a show called ‘Dear Acorn’, Bucky.” Brady chimed in, face as lit up for Egan’s current happiness as if it were his own.
“So what’re you twos gonna live on, huh?” Bob Hope crackled through “Love and nuts?”
“Oh well dunno, I do so love my nuts.” Lana rejoined.
“Jesus!” Gale pulled away from the headset like it had personally accosted him for a tumble in the sheets.
“Acorn.”
“Yeah paw paw?”
“You’re nuts.”
“About him I am.”
“Uhuh.”
“And there’s nothing you or Jerry can-“
“-can do about it, I know, acorn.”
“Pinky promise!” Lana chirped a couple thousand miles away, and John Egan obeyed her once more with a raised hand and a crooked finger.
That night at roll call they had something to whisper about, and for once it wasn’t half cooked schemes to climb the barbed wire or try smothering the commandant in his sleep. Instead Bucky was rocking back and forth joyfully on his heels in the bitter night air, trying hard to keep his grin in check as the spotlight swooped over, choosing the intermediate bits of darkness to nag Gale for any bits he’d missed.
“I sent for ya right away, Bucky.” Gale insisted in a gentle whisper out the side of his mouth, “They were just starting to joke about letters being written to an acorn.”
“Can you believe it?” Egan hissed, almost demented in his sudden good cheer, “She’s that proud of me, built a whole damn show on it. Fuck, it makes a man wanna fight a dozen wars.”
Gale eyed him up carefully, the inside of Bucky’s head a foreign place even to him, but if his friend was hopeful and generous enough not to mind his intellectual (or rather, lack of intellect) property being capitalized on for the war effort, then Gale wasn’t about to sow seeds of doubt. “She’s somethin’ else.” he agreed nebulously, and meant it, “Bombs Away Betty, huh?”
“Showing partiality to one branch of the armed services, Buck.” John was back to grinning, “She must’ve liked the jacket.”
Hope you enjoined, thank y’all for all the screams and thoughts you’ve sent through my asks, the comments and reblogs too, I treasure each.
If you’d like to be tagged in my MOTA writings, drop a note below. 💋
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pupsmailbox · 2 months ago
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STARTING WITH B
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MASCULINE︰ bailey. baker. baldric. baldwin. balfour. banks. barclay. barnabas. barnaby. barney. barret. barrett. barrie. barry. bart. bartholomew. basil. baxter. bayley. baylor. bear. beau. beauden. beaumont. beck. beckett. beckham. bellamy. ben. benedict. benj. benjamin. benji. benjy. bennett. bennie. benny. benson. bentley. benton. bernard. bernie. berny. berry. bert. bertie. bertram. bertrand. bevan. bevis. biff. bill. billie. billy. bjorn. blaine. blair. blake. blaze. blye. blythe. bo. bob. bobbie. bobby. bodhi. bodie. boone. boston. bow. bowen. bowie. boyce. brad. braden. bradford. bradley. brady. braeden. braiden. braith. bram. branden. brandon. brandt. branson. brant. brantley. braxton. brayden. braydon. braylen. braylon. braylyn. brecker. brendan. brenden. brendon. brennan. brent. brenton. bret. brett. brian. briar. brice. bridger. briggs. brin. brion. brixton. brock. brodie. brody. bronson. brook. brooks. bruce. bruno. bryan. bryant. bryce. brycen. bryon. bryson. buck. bud. buddy. bugsy. burke. burt. burton. buster. buzz. byrne. byron. bysshe.
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FEMININE︰ bailee. bailey. bambi. barbara. barbie. baylee. bayley. baylor. bea. beatrice. beatrix. beau. becca. becci. bee. belen. bella. bellamy. belle. berkeley. berkley. bernadette. berry. bertha. bess. beth. bethany. betsy. betty. bev. beverley. beverly. bexley. bianca. billie. birdie. blaine. blair. blaire. blaisha. blake. blakely. blessing. blondie. blossom. blue. blythe. bonita. bonnie. braelyn. braelynn. braya. braylee. braylynn. breana. bree. brenna. brennalyn. bria. briana. brianna. briar. bridget. bridgette. briella. briella.. brielle. brinley. bristol. britannia. britney. brittani. brittania. brittany. brittney. brook. brooke. brooklyn. brooklynn. bryana. bryanna. brylee. brynlee. brynleigh. brynn. bunny. burgundy.
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NEUTRAL︰ bail. bailey. baker. bale. ballad. bandit. bang. bank. banks. banner. barker. barns. barracuda. barrel. basil. basket. bass. bassdrop. bassline. bat. battery. battle. bay. baylor. baylor.. beach. beacon. beamer. bear. beau. beaux. beck. bee. beg. behold. believe. bellamy. bender. bentlee. berkeley. berkley. beta. between. beverly. bexley. beyond. bid. birch. bird. bishop. bit. bite. black. blaine. blair. blaire. blaise. blake. blame. blayke. blaze. bless. blessing. blight. blip. bliss. blister. blue. bluff. blur. blurb. blythe. bobby. bolt. bone. bonkers. boston. botany. boulevard. bow. bowie. brack. braelyn. brain. bramble. bran. branch. brass. bravery. braylen. braylin. braylynn. breach. break. breakthrough. breck. brecken. breeze. brennan. brentley. brett. brexley. briar. brick. brig. bright. brighton. briley. brine. britton. brixton. bronco. bronx. brook. brooks. brown. brute. bryar. bryer. bryn. bubble. bubblegum. buck. bud. buddy. bull. bulldog. bullet. bumble. bun. bungee. bunny. burns. bury. bus. busy. butter. butterfly. button. buzz. bygone.
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itsalwaysforyou · 2 years ago
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and when i make a mal web weaving to castles crumbling
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Favorite characters and why
Snotlout- OH GOD (wrips off skin)
fishegs- nah cos he's so nasty, when you think about it. He's got that pent up anger from years of injustice. Bro's been dealt the worst of the worst cards. Bro lives in a collapsing hut in the mud. raised by a dragon- no parents. And he still shows such kindness and humanity. It makes me burn.
Camicazi- ngl. I find it really sweet how she falls for Hiccup, even if he doesn't reciprocate. How it's built up subtly over time. Also she's badass.
Alvin- Bro's got major mommy issues
Excellinor- most evil character- and for what? What happened to you Excellinor? I guess being stuck in the dark for twenty years would mess up the noggin, but before that?
Hiccup- First read through, found him mid. But now (lost count of how many rereads) he's so intelligent. So determined. Perfect trope of a hero, but make it three dimensional. He's doing it all, I think, deep down, to get his father (and the world) to accept him as he is.
Stoik- speaking off, he's so dumb it's funny.
Gobber- Can't explain myself. He'd be number one if all the other characters weren't so fantastic. That really goes to show how good Cowell is at characterisation.
T-t-t-toothless- I'm the best lost thing. (does a loopty-loop)
Big Boobied Bertha- See Stoik. Also, I love that Cowell lets her female characters be gross and stupid, you know, like real life. Just another way a sense of reality etches through her work, even as fantastical as it is.
Stormfly- hate her (turns violet)
Tantrum- cunt
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cf8wrk4u-us · 9 months ago
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Transformers Prime X Grimm Crossover (RESCUE BOTS EDITION)
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To set the stage in this AU, it relates to my previous TFP X Grimm Crossover featuring Agent Fowler and Miko as Grimms and June, Jack, and Raf as Wesen (mythical creatures)
In this part of the AU, what makes Griffin Rock so special is that it's the only island community of its kind where Wesen and humans live together peacefully. The later being aware of the formers magical status for generation and agreeing to keepmit secret for the safety of the islands citizens. So you could day that's a benefit to the Bots, the people of Griffin Rock know how to keep a secret.
Along with that a special Rescue Team, run by a family of Lowens (lion Wesen) helps keep Griffin Rock safe.
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But their something particular about the Burns family, this pride of Lowens, that being the Grimm Curse.
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Back at the founding of the settlement that would become Griffin Rock, Horace Burns (a Lowen) fell in love with a mysterious woman named Bertha who washed ashore on the beach. She was a Grimm as he would later learn (and a pirate, a fact he never know) and despite his people misgivings over her kind he still chose to help her and nurse the female Grimm back to health.
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Bertha was a Grimm, a human with the ability to see past the glamour most Wesen wore and reveal them as the creatures they were. Most of Bertha encounters with Wesen had been less than pleasant and the fact no one believed what she saw made her a periah to society. Which led to her becoming a pirate, robbing and looting across the seas and killing any Wesen she came across.
She regarded them as monsters, but through Horace and his families kindness her whole video changed in an instant. She gave up her pirating ways to marry Horace, much to the shock of most of the townspeople. They didn't approve of a Grimm, an ancestor of their peoples killers, marrying one of their own. But given Horace status as both a Lowen and one of the founders there was little they could do to stop him.
So Horace and Bertha were married and created a family together. But later came what the future generation would regard as the Grimm Curse. That within the Burns family, once in a few generation of Lowens, a Grimm would be born.
Despite the change of times, the dark legacy of Grimms was still present in the Wesen community on Griffin Rock and especially in the Wesen tourist who visit the island expecting a safe refuge for their kind only to be met with the face of their centuries long enemy. It didn't inspire many guest to continue coming. So for the sake of tourism and maintaining Griffin Rocks status as a "Haven for Peaceful Wesen" members of the Burns family born with the Grimm Curse to peacefully leave the island.
So for generations, Burns who were born with the Grimm Curse were pressured to leave the island. Charlie Burns himself had to see how his brother was basically forced to leave their home when he was legally an adult, not that Woodrow minded so much. He had always been a free spirit and used this chance to finally explore the world.
Charlie Burns didn't think him and his children would suffer under the curse. But unfortunately the unfortunate fate of their family has fallen onto his youngest, Cody.
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Now Chief Burns has to decide between his loyalty to the community and the love he has for his child.
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mangio-formaggio · 1 day ago
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insane that in some twisted psychological sense we, as an audience, are also experience being married to George Russell. cause we know that Bertha is wrong. and Bertha knows that too prob, she's just so sure that result will worth it and he will see her justified. and thought we objectively know that it's only can go down from here for them for at least some time, a part of us, exactly as a part of Bertha, just wants her to get away with this. cause this is the part of his appeal, the fantasy George represents. that you can pull any bullshit, burn the world to the ground, but he will still be so obsessed with you. he will let it slip.
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