#ben is currently the only one with brains

[pokemon1oadvanced]

Nah cause Ben was completely justified not telling anyone about Brooklynn until he had evidence. The last time he tried to tell them something it took multiple near death experience for them to be like ‘yeah so we’re being hunted.’

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 1: Are You Always Like This?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you’re around him the more you hate him, but you can’t help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Implied/Eventual), Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Fake Dating

Word Count: 7.4 K (OOPS)

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+/Mature because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendo, sexual tension, violence. Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

A/N: I know I know, I should be working on "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love," but this idea was swirling around in my head and I had to write it.

Spotify Playlist 🪴

Masterlist

Take A Chance On Me Masterlist

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

"Alright Butcher, I'm done." You sigh closing the file in front of you and standing from the worn wooden table covered in empty Chinese food containers and stacks of papers almost as tall as you. "If I read another word about trying to stop an electrical current, I'm going to commit toaster bath and I'm taking you with me."

It was late, past two in the morning, but Butcher had a lead on a B-list supe that had been using his electrical powers to steal cars and run a chop shop business downtown. You had been close to catching him yesterday, so close in fact that your eyebrows were still a little crispy from when he shot a bolt of lightning at your face that you only dodged in the nick of time when Soldier Boy grabbed the back of your shirt and yanked you out of the way. Unfortunately, your shirt hadn't survived, it had ripped and you spent the rest of the day wearing one of Butcher's oversize Hawaiian shirts all the while Soldier Boy told you that it was a waste to keep a pretty little figure like yours covered up.

I hate him so much.

When Butcher had initially asked you to join his team a month ago you were excited, but then you found out that you were going to be stuck with Soldier Boy. The supe, that despite Annie's arguments should be given back to the government and put on ice, was allowed to join Butcher's team after he took down Homelander. Who was currently frozen on ice, somewhere. As long as Homelander was far from you, you didn't care. The guy gave you the creeps.

But the team still couldn't figure out where the electricity manipulating supe was hiding or where he was dropping the cars, which meant you had spent the past twelve hours staring at files and a computer screen so hard that you felt like your brain going to melt out of your ears.

"Do whatever ya want kid. I'm not ya damn babysitter." Butcher grunts, his face hidden behind his own file. His boots were on the table and he was leaning back in his chair so far that you were tempted to tip him over, all it would take was a good solid kick.

You smile at him. Butcher was adept at pretending that he didn't want you around, of course you knew how antsy he got when you weren't there to offer your opinion. You figured that he just liked pushing people away and given his history you understood that.

Annie sits up from where she and Hughie are cuddling on the couch. "Why don't you stay?" Her brow furrows with worry. Annie was big on the whole, "women not walking at home alone at night thing," which normally you didn't, but you figured that whatever was waiting outside the apartment was probably less intimidating than Homelander. And you could handle it.

"Because I'd like to sleep in my own bed tonight and not that godforsaken rickety cot in the corner that Frenchie got. Can't stand that one spring that always seems so happy to see me." You pull your leather jacket off of the back of the chair and whirl it around your shoulders, before bringing your hair out from under the collar.

Hughie snorts.

"Hey, that cot is an antique!" Frenchie crows from his highbacked chair spewing a mouthful of smoke into the air. Kimiko was sitting at the coffee table in front of him working on her writing, a thick black marker clutched in her hand. MM was taking the night off, but you thought he was probably trying to avoid Soldier Boy.

"Yeah well, that cot is about as old as grandpa over there." You gesture to where Soldier Boy is sitting in another one of the armchairs in the corner watching you while puffing on a joint.

He was always watching you and due to your inability to read his mind it made it difficult for you to gauge what he was thinking, but you assumed that it was the usual macho crap he spouted 100% of the time. But he wasn't checking you out, well this time he wasn't. You had caught him staring at your butt more than once, and he'd made several comments about exactly what he'd like to do to you, but right now an emotion glimmered behind his eyes that you couldn't place.

Soldier Boy stands from the chair. He was wearing a dark t-shirt that stretched over his chest and a pair of blue jeans that fit him just right, well, if you were looking at that. You were, but it was easier to pretend that you weren't. It was easier to pretend that he wasn't the most attractive man you'd ever seen in your life.

Damn it, why does someone so attractive have to be such a dick?

 "A lady like you shouldn't be walking home alone this late." He frowns at you.

"Like me?" You arch an eyebrow.

"Good thing she ain't a lady." Butcher chuckles at his joke

You punch him hard on the arm, not enough to break it, but enough to make it hurt.

“Bloody hell woman.” Butcher rubs his sore bicep shooting you an angry look.

Not many people could look intimidating while wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but Butcher pulled it off. Not many people looked good in a Hawaiian shirt either, but Butcher pulled that off too.

"I'm serious." Soldier Boy's eyes narrow.

"Oh now you're so chivalrous?" You cock your hip to the side, planting your hands on your hips. "Didn't you try to kill me last month?"

"To be fair, you were trying to kill me-"

"Because you were trying to kill Annie. Where was the chivalry when you tried to tear me apart with your bare hands?"

"There are plenty of other things I'd like to do to you with my bare hands sweetheart." His grin turns wolfish. "I'd be happy to show you sometime, perhaps you'd like some company?"

"I'd rather spend an hour with that ancient spring than roll around with you." You tap your lip thoughtfully. “Then again I’m sure that cot is the same age as you and it can at least get it up.”

Annie muffles a snort behind her hand.

“Last time I checked everything was working, perhaps you’d like to see for yourself?” Soldier Boy smirks.

 "Can't you keep in your pants for once?" Butcher sighs, tilting the file downward to glare at Soldier Boy.

You can't help but smile at Butcher's response. Butcher might have tried to push you away, but even you could see his protective instincts. That became wildly apparent whenever you went out on a mission alone and although you would think that it was annoying for someone to think they needed to protect you, in Butcher's case you made an exception.

Soldier Boy rolls his eyes. "She shouldn't walk home alone."

You wave your hand over the wilting fern on the kitchen counter, eyes shifting to green for a moment as it perks up. It was the only plant in the house and although six people lived in this apartment, not one ever remembered to water it. "And you shouldn't butt into my business."

Soldier Boy opens his mouth to speak, but Annie interrupts his train of thought.

"Wait y/n. Coffee tomorrow?" Annie asks ignoring them. She's sitting up from the couch, her body turned towards you with both of her hands on the back cushions. 

She was one of your best friends, well, really one of your only friends. You'd grown up together and when Annie moved to New York you had decided to move and take some college classes in the city while you worked at a small garden shop after class part time.

The owner still couldn't figure out why nothing you cared for seemed to die.

You usually kept your status as a supe on the down low, and only used your powers when you really had to, which wasn't often before you joined Butcher's team. You'd only lasted two semesters before Annie came to ask you for help finding Soldier Boy and after that, Butcher asked you to join his team for shit pay. You accepted but you still worked at the garden shop part-time, also for terrible pay, but you loved it there.

Your powers made it easy to make sure nothing died and sometimes it felt like home being surrounded by plants. Caring for them was the one thing you seemed to be good at, and sometimes they felt like family.

You didn't have much family left, beside your grandmother and your older brother who still lived back in Des Moines, and sometimes it was lonely in the city. Annie was the only person who you'd been able to connect with since you moved, and now that you weren't going to classes the friends you made in college didn't really understand what you were doing with your life.

And telling them "oh I hunt down supes for a living and sometimes kill them" didn't really sound like something you could say in passing. It also did wonders for your dating life… NOT.

"Sorry babe, I'm at the shop tomorrow. But I'm off at 3 if you want to get coffee after?" You hold open the front door of the apartment, looking back at her expectantly.

You hated blowing Annie off, especially since the two of you hadn't been able to hang out outside of missions mostly because she was spending all her time with Hughie.

"Sounds great!" She beams.

And with that you disappear out down the hallway and into the night.

It's raining as you walk down the desolate streets. Cars splash water over the gum covered sidewalks that soaks through your tennis shoes and makes every step against the ground squish. But you ignore it.

You usually loved when it rained, loved to feel the cooling water pool against your skin, loved to hear the soft patter of it against the windows of your apartment, loved the earthy smell that came with the drops, but not tonight. You were still thinking about Soldier Boy.

You don't know why you let him get under your skin so much. You'd met men like him in the past and it was usually easy for you to brush them off, but not him.

I mean yes he is gorgeous, and maybe kind of charming when he's not trying to get into my pants, but I don't want just a one night fling. I want what Annie and Hughie have.

You think about your best friend and her loving boyfriend. You tried not to be jealous, but it was hard when the last time you had a lasting relationship was your first boyfriend back in high school who, when he found out you were a supe, was only interested if you had the power to shape shift into someone 'a little more busty.' The relationship ended with you locking him in a tree and the fire department having to come cut him out. He was fine, maybe a little more green than a normal person, but...

You'd heard that he got a job from the Green Giant Vegetable Company doing cameos as the Jolly Green Giant. So if anything, you helped him have a career?

Annie and Hughie were both head over heels in love with each other, knew everything about each other, didn't have any secrets, and it wasn't just sex, it was a close relationship with someone else who understood every part of you. You wanted that; and as much as you had avoided relationships in the past due to your supe status, you still hoped to find a supe that was kind and didn't think that they were a god for what they could do.

Why do so many have a god complex?

You think again about Soldier Boy. That wasn't the first time he had tried to coax you into bed and it wouldn't be the last, that was for sure. At first you had hoped that he would give up, it had been a month since you'd met, but he was still going strong, despite having a different woman in that apartment almost every night.

Maybe he's just really horny after being trapped in a lab all these years. Then again- You remember all the articles you read about him from the 80s, the ones that recorded his numerous escapades and think about his founding of Herogasm.

Maybe he's always like that, but he never comes on to Annie or Kimiko, only me. And I've threatened castration multiple times. You'd think he would care more about that than anything else.

You consider with a frown, clutching your jacket tighter around you. Rain trickled down from your hair and under the collar of your jacket to soak into your t-shirt. Your once light blue jeans were soaked to a dark navy with the amount of water that splashed up from the road and dripped down your back. For the first time in forever, you wished that it wasn't raining.

Probably should have just gotten a cab, but it's so expensive and-

"Hey baby." Someone calls from behind you.

Can't I just walk home without being hit on? One time?

"Not interested." You shout back, continuing to squish down the cracked sidewalks.

Three shadows peel off the wall of shops to your left blocking your path forward. Each is wearing a dark colored hoodie hiding their faces from view.

Is my luck really this bad? I never hear about Annie getting mugged or Hughie. And Hughie definitely looks wimpier than me.

"Don't be like that baby." The man behind you says.

You half turn your body so you can see all your supposed attackers at once. There are actually two men behind you, both wearing similar hoodies to the three now standing on your right.

Oh look they color coordinated their outfits… cute.

The man opens his mouth again.

"I'm gonna stop you right there." You hold up a finger. "I've been dealing with a horny 104 year old  geriatric man all day long. Please don't push me right now." It was an attempt to warn them, but you knew they probably wouldn’t listen to you.

No one ever does.

"Sounds like you need someone to relax with." The man smirks steeping forward to grab your arm. "I'd be happy to ease some of that tension baby."

"Look. I'm going to give you a chance to walk away. To avoid making one of the biggest mistakes of your life. Because honestly you all have the worst luck in the world." You jerk your arm away from him.

"I like em feisty.” He purrs stepping forward again while the others laugh. “Come on baby-“

He doesn't get to finish his sentence. You grab him around the throat, lifting him in the air like he weighs nothing, your eyes beginning to glow a brilliant green.

“I did try to warn you.”

"She's a supe!" He shouts struggling against your grip.

You throw him backwards into the other man standing to your right before facing the men on your left. Each one has pulled out a knife preparing to rush towards you.

"I get it. Y’all are out late, you bought matching outfits, but do we really have to-“

The first one rushes you, waving his knife through the air in a frantic dance. He doesn't get the chance to make contact with your arm. Vines erupt out of the pavement, breaking through the cracks in the concrete, binding themselves around the man who lets out a savage cry, quickly silenced while the vines continue to wrap around his body until there's nothing left but a mass of struggling green foliage on the pavement and some muffled screams.

He's lucky, could have had him dragged back under ground.

His friends stand there for a moment, eyeing one another as if they're not sure what just happened. You can practically see them trying to decide if you're still worth the trouble.

“Anyone else?”

The battle that follows is swift, the sound of cracking bones and the soft thud of punches landing echo over the soft patter of rain in the night as you dodge their blows and land your own against them. The vines continue to spread outward snatching up the men who fall to the ground in front of you, dragging each one up the street light above that sends yellowed light over the desolate streets. By now each bound body hangs from above like a sack of meat in a meat cooler, moving with the struggling men inside while the muffled cries shatter the still silence of the night.

Sometimes it's really too easy.

And as you begin to turn back someone grabs you by the hair, yanking you into their sweaty embrace. The leader's hot breath sticks to your cheeks, the cool metal of his switchblade pressing down so hard on your throat that you feel the pinprick of blood begin to form under the tip.

“What are you gonna do now bitch?” He snarls in your ear.

"Give you one more chance to surrender." You spit.

Like I'm going to give him the satisfaction of me begging for my life.

"I'm gonna enjoy this-" The man begins to say, pressing the knife deeper into your throat, but the rest of his sentence is cut off with a strangled cry as he's pulled away from you.

 What the hell just-

You turn around, freezing in shock.

Soldier Boy is crouching there in his t-shirt, jacket, and jeans over the man who just had a knife to your throat. His fist rising and falling as he punches the man in the face.

"Don’t you ever touch her." Soldier Boy snarls. His fist is already covered in blood, the man’s face a mass of bloodied tissue and bone.

"Stop you're going to kill him-" You run forward to stop Soldier Boy, but he doesn't stop even when you try to grab on to his hand.

"I said STOP." You shout louder, this time manipulating a vine to wrap around Soldier Boy's arm and restrain it.

Fuck he might already be dead.

"Let me go." Soldier Boy's eyes narrow. The usual green was replaced by a darkened pit with his rage. You'd only ever seen him this mad a handful of times, one of which was when the supe tried to zap you like a fly in one of those insect traps two days ago.

Why is he angry?

"I'm not going to let you go, until you promise not to kill him."

"I should." He snarls back at you.

"What are you talking about?"

He stands from the body, eyeing the last attacker who runs full speed down the sidewalk and vanishes into the darkness.   "I should kill him for trying to hurt you." Soldier Boy says simply.

You wave your hand allowing the vine to let go of his arm. "Where do you come off so high and mighty? You literally tried to kill me last month."

"That was before I-" He shakes his head angrily, eyes still blazing.

"Look I don't need you to protect me. Given what I've had to deal with all day I was looking forward to kicking some ass."

"You did." He smirks nodding his head in the direction of the men hanging from the streetlamp above you. “I just thought that you were outnumbered.”

"Why are you here?" You sigh pinching the bridge of your nose.

"I wanted to go for a stroll." Soldier Boy shrugs. He flexes his hand, before wiping the blood on the front of the sweatshirt of the man on the ground.

"Uh-huh. Well I don't need you to protect me." You say again, crossing your arms over your chest. "I had this handled."

"You sure doll?"

"Look I get it- you think that you're some knight in shining armor because you have this macho complex. But I'm fine on my own." You begin to step around the bodies of the men on the ground moving in the direction of your apartment, but Soldier Boy follows you.

"Where do you think you're going?" You turn to look at where he falls into step beside you.

"You shouldn't be walking home alone."

"Well you're sure as hell not going home with me."

His lip turns up in a smirk, towering over you. Soldier Boy is easily a foot taller than you, so broad that it's impossible to look past his imposing figure. It would be attractive if he wasn't so damn annoying. "Come on sweetheart, I know you want me to go home with you." He purrs with a smile. "I think you'd really enjoy it if I did. And I'll even let you tie me up with those pretty vines of yours." Ben leans in towards your face and you take a step back.

"Hard pass. So what? Is this your big move? Acting all chivalrous just to get a woman into bed with you?"

"That depends, is it working?"

"No. Now go back to the apartment, before I send you there in pieces." You turn back to squish down the sidewalk at a faster pace, hoping he will get a hint and leave you alone. But you knew he wouldn’t stop. He practically thrived on teasing you, had been the bane of your existence since you met him. And nothing seemed to dissuade him.

"What is your problem with me?" He jogs to catch up. "And don't say that it's because I tried to kill you, that was last month-"

"I think that's applicable to this week and the week after that and the week after that." You count out with every finger to further emphasize your point, but you know that Soldier Boy won't give up that easy.

"Are you always this fucking angry?" He almost laughs.

"I don’t know. Are you always this fucking annoying?" You turn to face him narrowing your eyes.

Soldier Boy chuckles at your look, running a hand through his hair that has darkened in the spray of water, his green eyes watching you curiously. They were shinning now, not the blacked pits of hate they were when he was beating the guy two minutes ago. For a second, just for a second, you see how handsome he is all over again.

"Come on, give me a real answer and I'll leave you alone." He's smiling at you now, giving you one of those boyish grins that, if it were anyone else, would make your heart stop.

He just wants sex. He doesn't care about you. He won't ever care about you. Breathe.

"Fine." You sigh. "You might say you're a supe, but you're not a hero. People like you and Homelander, you don't care about anyone but yourself. You use your powers for you and on your own terms. You were going to kill that guy-" You gesture back towards where the body is still on the ground, the man's heart beat is dangerously low.

"He was threatening you. A thank you might be nice." Soldier Boy's cheeks flush as he glares down at you with darkened eyes, his anger surging back in his chest.

"Yes he was threatening me, but I'm okay and you could have just taken him to jail. You didn't have to beat his face in."

"So you're saying if he had been attacking someone else you wouldn't have done the same?"

"I would have subdued him and then waited for the police to get there. The men hanging from the streetlight aren't dead. We aren't the law-"

"Right so those guys can get off with a warning and then go on and do the same thing over and over again." He scoffs rolling his eyes at you.

"It doesn't give you the right to kill them."

"I suppose you don't believe in the death penalty either."

"I believe in the death penalty Gramps. I just don't believe it is our job to carry it out." Your temper was flaring against your skin distracting you from the chill of the rain as it soaked into your clothes.

"Do you have any idea how many women would love to be saved by me?" Soldier Boy asks. He shakes his head as if he can't understand you.

You didn't blame him, most people didn't, that was why you spent most of your time alone.

"I'm not one of them. So leave me alone." You turn to go.

Honestly, why is this the kind of guy I attract? You roll your eyes to yourself. Oh you mean, tall, dark, handsome, gorgeous- The other little voice in your head whispers in your ear. NO. You tell yourself. Please I just want one guy who's not a total dick. Why is that so hard?

"I still don't think it's a good answer." He huffs.

"Of course you don't." You roll your eyes and begin to walk again. The streetlamps above send an eerie yellow glow over the parked cars along the road and over the crackled pavement. If Soldier Boy wasn't here bothering you, you might have stopped to admire the water as it splashed underneath the suspension bridge beyond the crowded buildings, but you wanted to get home. Without him if possible.

You glance over at Soldier Boy again. He looks normal right now, always does when he's not wearing his suit. And when he shut up you could see why people were so in love with him. It was when he opened his mouth that it reminded you exactly why you didn't like him.

You stop in front of your apartment building and force yourself to smile. "Thank you for walking me home." You say through tight lips, hoping that the false sincerity will make him leave.

He gazes up at your building with a frown. "This is a pretty shitty apartment building."

"Thank you. Not all of us inherited millions of dollars from our parents."

He pauses for a moment continuing to look up at the building, before he sighs loudly. "Look, I-." He sighs again. "I can't take listening to Annie and Hughie fucking. They go at it every night and she always makes the power go off."

You knew that already. It was another reason why you didn't like staying at the apartment, because listening to your best friend get railed by her boyfriend was not your idea of a good time.

You look up at Ben, and for a second you see a glimmer of the truth, just a flash of something that wasn't like the misogynistic attitude he usually had and it made you pause. He almost looked, sad and it made you feel bad for him. Of course you felt bad for him before, when you found out his entire team just gave him away to be experimented on and when probably the woman that he'd come the closest to loving really didn't care about him at all.

It must be incredibly lonely to come back to a world where almost everyone you know is dead. Guilt builds in your chest at the thought. I had lost my fair share of people, but not everyone in my life and I certainly didn’t learn about it on the same day.

"You know I think that's the first honest thing you've ever said to me." You say quietly shifting from foot to foot.

He half-smiles. "Maybe."

You chew on the inside of your cheek considering. You weren't afraid of him. You knew that with your powers you could take him. You were stronger than most and harder to kill. And despite the bad things you thought about him and knew about him, you kinda thought he was relatively harmless, well, you didn't think he was a rapist.

"Fine. But you're staying on the couch. And if I wake up and you're anywhere near my bedroom, I'll castrate you." You warn as walk up to the front doors and type in the code to unlock them, with Soldier Boy following behind you.

When you make it to the third floor, you raise one hand to stop him from going any further. It falls against his muscular chest and you fail trying not to admire how it feels beneath your hand.

Why am I so thirsty?

"If you wanted to grab my chest doll, all you had to do was ask-" Soldier Boy begins to say, but you raise the hand to cover his mouth.

"Shh." You hiss. "We have to be quiet or Mike will come out-"

"Who?" He asks, muffled against your hand.

You hear a door down the hallway creak open, spilling yellowed light onto the dark blue carpet of the hallway. "Shit. Too late."

Mike steps out of his apartment with a wide smile as soon as he sees you. "HEY y/n!" He crows, waving his free hand enthusiastically. "I didn't know you were getting in so late, but I wanted to give you this." Mike holds out a giant casserole dish filled with something that you can't identify. It's multi colored with multiple layers, one of which looks suspiciously like rice and the next layer looks like cake.

There's no way I'm eating that. Maybe if I force feed it to Soldier Boy he'll leave me alone.

Mike was your neighbor, your neighbor who had lived next door to you for the past 2 years and was shamelessly in love with you. And as sweet as he was, there were a few things that you couldn't get past, most namely that he lived with his mother and that he had a mullet.

One time you'd had a nightmare about it ripping itself from his head, breaking in to your apartment, and smothering you in your sleep.

Not fun.

"Hey Mike." You smile tightly at him, dropping your hand from Soldier Boy's mouth. "Yeah I'm sorry I was out with some friends."

"You should have asked me to come! I love your friends." Mike smiles so wide you're afraid that it's going to break his face. “Especially Butcher. He’s so funny. Always joking-"

Poor Mike.

Every time that Butcher had come over to talk shop, he would mock Mike endlessly. And Mike was just too sweet to realize it. Hughie was the only one who actively tried to be nice to Mike, but even he found it difficult. Annie was the worst though, she'd tease you constantly about what your children would look like and had taken to photoshopping mullets onto pictures of babies and sending them to you at inopportune times.

"Maybe next time." You cough out an awkward laugh while Soldier Boy snorts behind you.

You continue down the hallway towards your apartment, the door next to his, and hope that he'll go back into his home, but no such luck.

“My mom made this for you!” He holds the dish out towards you.

“Oh um that’s so nice of her. But I can’t except that-“

Mike's mother comes to stand in the doorway of their shared apartment. She was wearing a bright purple Mumu, her makeup caked thickly on her face and her eyes accentuated with bright blue eye shadow. “Sure you can sweetie. You’re Mike’s special friend.” She winks before trailing her eyes up and down your body. “And you’ve got such a cute little figure.” His mother does a little shimmy as if trying to get you to do the same.

Kill me now.

“That’s what I keep telling her.” Soldier Boy purrs behind you.

“Don’t make me kill you.” You mutter back, knowing full well he can hear you with his super-hearing.

Oddly enough Mike does look suspiciously like his mother, they are both the same height, exactly three inches under you, and have the same mullet, but hers is a shocking blue-gray and his is jet black.

He blushes at her words. “Aww mom.”

Soldier Boy muffles a laugh before disguising it into a cough. You elbow him hard in the stomach.

“Well thank you.” You take the casserole dish with one hand, hoping that you can open the door and usher Soldier Boy in before he makes a comment. "I've had a long day and it's really late-"

“I helped her make this one.” Mike interrupts scooting closer to you, so close that you get a lungful of his terrible cologne, the one that the super sells for four dollars and smells like baby powder and Cheez-its.

“A man who can do it all.” Soldier Boy whispers to you.

Mike looks above your head as if noticing Soldier Boy for the first time. “Who’s that? I thought I knew all your friends.”

“He’s certainly very handsome-“ Mike's mother blushes from the doorway.

“Your brother?” Mike offers.

You can see his expression turn hopeful.

Probably thinking about how he can become friends with "said brother" and that will escalate our "relationship." 

“I’m Ben.” Soldier Boy says, stepping around you to shake Mike’s hand. “I’m y/n's boyfriend.”

Your cheeks bloom a bright pink, unable to respond to the ridiculous statement that he just made.

Murder. That's what sounds good right now.

“Oh.” Mike’s face falls. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” His eyes flick back to you, disappointment swimming in the irises.

You watch Mike’s hope begin to circle the drain.

“Well actually-“ You begin, but Soldier Boy interrupts you.

“Sorry I’ve been out of town for a while. We've been trying to do this long distance thing- you know how it is, late night phone calls-“ Ben trails off with a wolfish grin before dropping an arm around your shoulders. “But I just couldn’t take the long distance. Missed her too much. Phone call isn’t the same as sleeping in the same bed. Definitely not as satisfying. Not to mention there’s only so much my hand can do.”

Your cheeks bloom an even brighter red at his insinuation.  That’s when Soldier Boy does something even more unforgivable, he pulls you tighter against him and kisses you right there in front of Mike and his mother. The kiss is searing, making everything in your mind go blissfully blank. It had been so long since someone kissed you, since someone had held you this close to them without trying to kill you. His tongue teases your bottom lip and before you can stop yourself you open your mouth wider to let him in sighing softly against his lips, while you grip the front of his jacket.

For a moment you can’t remember why you didn’t want him to kiss you, why you denied yourself of this for so long. And then Soldier Boy's hand slides from your back to grab a handful of your ass.

Right.

You slap him so hard across the face that you're sure it would have broken the cheekbone of anyone who wasn’t a supe.

But Soldier Boy only grins wider, squeezing your butt again. “She knows that I like it a little rough.” He turns his lazy gaze back to Mike.

You open your mouth to cuss him out.

“Well we should probably get going.” Soldier Boy breezes. “Probably going to be a long night. If you know what I mean. But we’ll try to keep it down. Then again my girl's a little loud.” He winks at your poor neighbor who looks like he might cry, while his mother stands behind him fanning herself like Soldier Boy is everything she wants in a man.

He's ten for ten with the older ladies I'll say that.

“Oh right. Well I guess I’ll see you around y/n.” Mike turns to go.

“Mike wait-“ You try to say but he’s already vanishing through the door.

“Nice to meet you Mark.” Soldier Boy calls at his retreating figure, getting his name wrong on purpose.

You don’t even use your key to open the door you're so mad, the plants inside let you in. As soon as it opens, you haul Soldier Boy by the front of his jacket through the doorway and pin him to the wall just inside.

The casserole dish lands on your counter and by some miracle doesn’t break.

“What the hell is your problem?” Your hand is fisted in the front of his shirt, eyes blazing with anger and embarrassment.

He only grins. “You didn’t want me to play along? Sounded like that guy had been trying to get into your pants for a while. Unless he already has been or you want him to?"

You flush a deeper shade of crimson. "That is absolutely none of your business!"

“Well if we’re going to be living together doll, I’m pretty sure it is my business.”

“WE AREN'T LIVING TOGETHER I'M JUST LETTING YOU CRASH ON THE COUCH TONIGHT AND THEN YOU'RE GONE.” You shout.

“I think you’re gonna get pretty attached to me sleeping here. Maybe even  you let me sleep in your bed and even fu-“

You knock him back against the wall again. “If you finish that sentence I’m going to throw you out the window.”

“If you keep knocking me around, Mike's going to think you’re into some pretty kinky stuff.” Soldier Boy smirks down at you. “It’s actually turning me on a bit. Is it turning you on?”

“I don’t have to let you stay here.” You growl, releasing him.

“I think it’s because you like me.” He teases.

“I don’t.” You frown grows. “Okay couch is there goodnight.”

You point in the direction of the worn leather couch. You'd hauled it up three flights of stairs with Annie when you first moved in after you found a guy online selling it for nothing. And when you showed up to get it, he presumed to say it would be free if you let him take a picture of your feet. And after, when he had a black eye and a fun story to tell his wife, he gave you the couch for nothing as promised.

“No kiss goodnight?” Soldier Boy pouts his lips innocently.

“You already had one of those.” You snap thinking about slapping him again and trying hard not to think about how much you wanted to kiss him again.

Get a grip.

“Right. You liked it.”

“No I didn’t. And the next time you shove your tongue into my mouth I’ll bite it off.”

“You’re really violent for such a little thing.” Soldier Boy eyes you up and down as if sizing you up.

“And you’re really dick-like for someone who’s supposed to have the wisdom of the ages.” You turn towards the hallway intent on going to bed to avoid any more conversation with him.

"Whoa." You hear Soldier Boy say as he looks into your living room.

It was the reaction that everyone had when they entered your apartment. You had a small one bedroom apartment on the third floor of a building that you believed might be older than Soldier Boy. The kitchen and living room was mostly one room, the kitchen to the left with outdated appliances and a small circular wooden table with three chairs that served as your kitchen table and desk, and was separated by the large leather aforementioned couch that faced the wall that held two large windows. Beyond the front door was a small hallway that held the only bathroom in the apartment and your bedroom.

But that's not what was surprising.

Every open space in your apartment was covered in plants. There wasn't a single piece of unused space in your apartment. There were large standing monstera and fiddle leaf figs shoved into every corner and pots of dark green pothos bolted into the walls trailing vines to the ground so that every wall looked alive. Jasmine crept along the wall behind the tv that sat on an antique credenza between the two windows, sending the bright scent into the living room.

There was a large rectangular box bolted in the space above your sink where herbs and tomatoes hung down, probably a fire hazard, but you didn't care. The vibrant smell of mint, the spicy smell of rosemary, and soft tones of oregano and basil fused the air in your apartment with a life force that was impossible to ignore.

A large apple tree grew in a pot as big around as you next to the couch, with brilliant red apples hanging from it's branches, while a lemon tree and a tangerine tree intertwined their branches just behind the kitchen table.  The refrigerator, once white, was covered in the tangled vines of blackberry and raspberry, hanging with full fruit, while a potted strawberry plant sits prettily on top of the kitchen table, the bright red fruit enticing.

It was a lot. You knew it was a lot, but helping plants grow was the only thing you were good at, the only thing that felt right. One day you hoped that you could move somewhere and open a farmers market, but today you were stuck here, with Soldier Boy, who probably thought that you were crazy.

"I mean. I knew you had plant powers but this is-" He begins to say.

"A lot. I know." You roll your eyes. "The bathroom is down the hall." You gesture with your free hand towards the darkened hallway. "I guess I'll get you a pillow."

Ben is still looking around the room dumbfounded, as if he's never seen anything like this in his life, and he probably hasn't.

He's been in a Russian Lab for the past forty years, I mean he's probably not used to seeing anything this green.

You find the extra pillow in the linen closet along with one of the crocheted granny square blankets you made last year when Annie and you had a Jaws movie marathon, and a towel, before you move back into the living room.

Ben is still standing awkwardly by the couch as if he's not sure what to do, and it's the first time you've seen him look lost.

"Here." You throw him the pillow and the towel before you drape the blanket over the back of the couch. "One night."

"Why are you working for Butcher?"

"What?" The question catches you off guard. You were expecting him to make another pass at you, maybe check you out again. He was looking at you, but it was different, his gaze was softer, curious.

"You don't seem like you-" He gestures around the room. "Like you fit."

You blink for a second. "Um."

"I mean Annie used to be one of the Seven, Hughie does whatever the fuck Butcher tells him, but you you're different." His brow furrows together as if he can't figure you out.

"I really don't want to do this with you."

"This?" He looks confused again.

"Opening up with one another. You're here for one night. That's it." You force yourself to say, but the reality was you were still surprised, surprised that he actually seemed to care.

Stop. He's changing tactics because nothing else worked. He's pretending to care about you because he still wants to sleep with you.

"Please."

You can't answer for a second. It was the first time that he'd said that word in front of you before, or acted this way. It was also the first time that it had just been the two of you, before Butcher had been there or Frenchie or Annie and Hughie, but this was the first time that the two of you had been left alone.

Maybe that's why?

You hesitate before you answer, he was the last person you really wanted to open up to.

"I don't know, it's not all that bad." You shrug. "Before I didn't really use my powers all that much except like this." You gesture around the room for emphasis. "And when I went to college everyone was so serious about their futures and I didn't really like any of the classes. The only thing I enjoyed was using my powers at Please Don’t Die, the plant store I work at. And then Annie asked me to come help her out-" You bite your cheek. "She's my best friend and maybe I wanted to spend more time with her."

"But is it what you really want?" He cocks his head to the side, holding the pillow in one hand and the towel in the other.

You'd never seen him look so calm before, relaxed, like being here with you was washing away any anger or frustration he still had about the past. It was confusing, and at the same time you could feel your heart beginning to betray you. It was hard not to fall for him when he looked so good, eyes soft, dark hair falling into his eyes, clothes still dripping rain on your hardwood floors.

No. I will not fall in love with him, I will not fall in love with-

"Goodnight Soldier Boy. I'll see you in the morning." You turn to go, ignoring his final question.

"You can call me Ben." He almost whispers it, the sound of his voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down your spine.

"What?" You look back at him.

"You never call me Ben. But you can, if you want." He shrugs his shoulders, before he shakes his head as if he's annoyed with himself for suggesting it. "Never mind, just fucking forget about it-"

"Goodnight Ben." You feel the end of your mouth twitch up into a smile and with that you disappear into your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

And deep down you know that it's not to keep him out, but to keep you in.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

If you liked this story be sure to read my follow up fic that takes place in the future:

Open Mic Night!

Or if you'd like to read another series please try:

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love!

A/N: I know it's crazy to start another series right now, but I'm kinda feeling this reader and Ben together? What do y'all think about it?

A/N: Update I've made a huge mistake and started another series.

If you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know!

(Photos for series picture from Pinterest)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester

[mothandpidgeon]

P Boy Podcasts

I was swapping podcast recs with @schnarfer and asked her what kind of podcasts would each of the Pedro boys host? (I’m a bit of a podcast junkie. I'm literally listening to one right now.) Well, we were brainstorming and I went and created episode art for each of their shows. Which ones are you subscribing to?

Nic on Nic Get a peek into the brain of legendary talent Nicolas Cage. Cage collaborator (and fanboy) Javi Guttierez is watching everything from Con Air to National Treasure 2. Take a deep dive into the films of Nic Cage and hear exclusive interviews with the man himself.

The Unfortunates There are spies living among us, everyday people living double lives. What makes them do it? And how do they keep their secrets? Each week, Dave York shares a true story from the clandestine world of espionage. 

Foundlings Din Djarin’s parenting journey has never gone to plan because he never planned on becoming a dad! Come along as he navigates the challenges of single parenting a 50 year old son. Each week Din leads insightful discussions with a range of guests— pediatricians, parenting experts, and  other parents that are just trying to figure it all out.

Declassified Drugs, danger, and dames. The fall of Escobar made way for the Cali Cartel. Hear the story from  Agent Javier Pena as he recalls the hunt for the Cali Cartel and reveals details that have never been heard before. 

Tales from the Green Ezra shares spooky fales of distant worlds on this anthology fiction podcast. All set on the Green Moon, these bizarre and enthralling stories introduce you to a lush world filled with intrigue and danger. 

Heist The Mona Lisa only became a cultural icon after it was stolen in 1911. Learn about the greatest capers in the art world with host Marcus Pike. Hear first hand accounts going undercover during his time in the FBI. 

No Cap 4 best friends chat about anything and everything. Hear Santi, Will, Frankie, and Ben give their takes on dating, travel, and current events. You’ll love listening to them react to r/aita. 

UNKNOWN ZONE Alien encounter? Evidence of the lost city of Atlantis? Ghost fucking? Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Join celebrity host Dieter Bravo for real life brushes with the unknown!

Joel’s Construction Corner Have a burning home improvement question? Or maybe you just like a southern drawl? Host Joel Miller has 30 years of experience in contracting and he’s here to share his advice with you. As soon as he figures out how to use this damn computer. Ellie does the ad reads with a pun for every one. 

Hungry History What does the invention of margarine have to do with Napoleon? Did Marco Polo really introduce pasta to Italy? Which Founding Father had a craving for ice cream? Follow your stomach to discover the origins of your favorite foods as we travel back in time with host Pero Tovar. 

--

I might've gone overboard. But I wish these all existed???

If you reblog this please rec me your favorite podcasts in the tags.

[starguardianniom]

Billy and Lighter

I love their dynamic so much.

Freaking Lighter of all people sees Billy as his worthy rival.

Ngl but I legit think it's because Billy is the only one he can fight without being afraid of passing out.

Given Lighter faints at the sight of blood and that Billy is an android, if Billy gets hurt he will probably leak oil, but no blood, which is perfect for Lighter.

I honestly, half-seriously thinks that's the sole reason Lighter considers Billy is rival, because he won't risk embarassing himself if he manages to hurt Billy while fighting as Billy has no blood for him to faint to.

But he also does respect him given he thinks highly of him and actually likes him like a brother too.

They playfully tease one another but you can also clearly see that Lighter has a high opinion of Billy and is also happy for him to have found happiness somewhere else too, and that's so wholesome, my heart.

I was pratically screaming of joy in my head the entire time yesterday when I speedrun the chapter (I had the day off lucky me so I used it to clear out chapter 4 entirely yeah!).

I took so many pictures, will upload them this weekend, now I need to go do that certification exam to get my people to level 50, given I need to level up pretty much everyone I have right now (Billy, Anby, Nicole, Corin, Soukaku, Ben, Anton, Seth, Jane and Lucy are the characters I currently have the game refuses me Piper and just sended me a lil army of Corins, Anby and Soukaku, now I have Anby and Soukaku to M4 and Corin to M3, though it gave me Billy M2 and Seth M2 thank god) I'll be at it for a while.

But honestly I expected Lighter to be a bit more mean toward Billy and feeling superior to him but it seems like I was worried for nothing, Lighter loves Billy and Billy loves him back, though I'm pretty sure Billy also thinks that he wasn't able to escape Lighter entirely given he now has Anby around. XD Lighter keeps forgetting things and Anby keeps forgetting the line between fiction and reality, I imagine Billy must be used to Anby because he had to spend half his time reminding Lighter of stuff all the time. XD

I swear Billy had it better than Lighter back then, given he was the Champion that means he was the strongest of the Sons of Calydon, which means he's stronger than Big Daddy, and Big Daddy is most likely the one who raised and taught Caesar how to fight, so if she didn't get the title of Champion back then, then Billy was most likely strong enough to beat her too and Big Daddy. But then he left. But he also got to meet Lighter before that, but Lighter is weaker than Caesar but still has the title for some reason, so it's a bit murky there as to why they needed 2 champions.

I think Billy wanted to leave or something happened that made him leave and then Big Daddy brought in Lighter to pick up his title but Billy sticked around long enough to make sure Lighter was up for the job given they have a good brotherly friendly rivalry relationship together so once Billy thought Lighter was ready he gave him his title and left. And then Caesar got to be the new boss of the Sons of Calydon when Big Daddy retired, and was strong enough that she was able to beat Lighter apparently.

But the title of Champion is basically being the number 2 of the gang, so if the leader isn't around it's most likely the champion calling the shots and making sure everything is alright and settling disputes and what nots, but since Lighter is pretty scatterbrained, most of the duties went to Lucy while Lighter is just now extra muscles, since Lucy is pretty much the one making sure everything is alright and being the brains of the Sons, but she clearly doesn't have the strenght to be the Champion because Lighter is the one with that title.

So I imagine Billy used to handle negotiations and relations and other stuff with Big Daddy before he left and probably used to be deadly efficient, in some parts of the story he is a lot more aware and shrewd than he presents himself most of the time, such as asking us about the H.D.D and asking why we'd bother to be proxies when we could have done so much more and get a much more lucrative job, or when he was ready to sell us out to PubSec to save the Cunning Hares and himself pointing out that the Cunning Hares could get their record cleaned if they reported a proxy, which was a very smart way of thinking given their situation back then. He is also knowledgeable about the Outer Ring, so he is way much smarter than he acts too.

I do feel like Billy is seen as a superior predecessor to Lighter and while Lighter doesn't resent Billy at all for it he also feels the need to prove himself to him in some way to live up to his "brother's" legacy.

Lucy probably didn't have much to do until Billy left and Big Daddy retired. Then she basically became the second half of the Champion title in the Sons of Calydon, being the brain to Lighter's brawn, but Billy before them had the title on his own to the point that he is still feared today by other people in the Outer Ring.

It does beg the question of what was Billy like back then, probably less happy and more brutal and having the mindset of a weapon maybe, but he was still cared for a lot.

I also like to think that Big Daddy called him Billy Kid because he honestly saw Billy as "his" kid when he bought him from a group of drifters, now I really want the whole story, if they release Big Daddy and Lighter, give them more content with Billy, I need more, Hoyo!

[serverusslaype]

Shameless AU - Jealousy

Severus Snape x professor!reader one-shot

Masterpost & other things!

guys remember i asked about whether you'd be interested in a jealous scene? well, i chose to do it in an AU sort of thing, where reader is a Slytherin instead. so special thanks to @caster-of-puppets for that idea! this isn't long, it's just a little one-shot, but yeah. i wrote this a while ago and i decided to finish it just now after my brain said no to writing part 15 fml. i just couldn't think of how to start it.

so, i hope you enjoy this. :)

warnings: slightly nsfw near the end, so minors, please, DNI!!

Dinner had just finished, and most of the students had filed out of the hall, apart from a few stragglers. You, Ben and Flitwick were currently engaged in a conversation, though, it was moreso just Ben and Flitwick talking. You had zoned out a while ago, the constant drone of Ben bragging about his Ministry job was enough to send you to sleep. It was surprising that Flitwick hadn't made some sort of excuse to drop out of the conversation to save his sanity, perhaps he enjoyed such dull and tedious chatter.

As you stood beside Ben, your hands were clasped together in front of you, bored eyes darting aimlessly around the Great Hall. You found yourself admiring the stone statues, until Ben's hand curled around your waist, pulling you closer to him, his fingers sitting dangerously close to where Severus's fingers had been that night. Your muscles stiffened slightly at the sudden touch.

All of a sudden, a creeping feeling of being watched climbed up your spine, and within seconds, your confused eyes were searching around the Great Hall, soon landing on a pair of very familiar, deep, dark ones. They burned into you a thousand hot needles, setting your skin ablaze.

There he stood, lingering beside a rambling Filch with hands tucked behind his back, sharp eyes determinedly stuck on you like a glue trap, darting down towards the hand that tightened around your waist. His face was pale, daunting and almost frightening with the way he was glaring at the two of you with deathlike eyes.

Was he... jealous?

You daringly decided to test the waters. With a tilt of your head, you kept your curious eyes on Severus and leant into Ben, allowing your hands to unclasp themselves and rest atop of Ben's one. Immediately, Severus's jaw twitched and his fists balled beneath the dramatic waterfall of his black cloak. A tiny, cheeky smile picked at the corners of your lips as you relished in his reaction, a warm, tingling sensation pooling in your stomach. Was it toxic that you were getting off on this? Perhaps.

You glanced back to Flitwick, shuffling in your spot as you offered him a kind smile, your eyes darting back to where Severus had stood. Though, only Filch remained. You frowned. Shit, did that piss him off? No, surely not, he knows you only want him, and not Ben... right?

"Um, excuse me, I'll be back in a bit." You said with a forced smile, glancing between Ben and Flitwick. They quickly returned it, still deeply invested in conversation. You had to force yourself not to roll your eyes at the pair. Seriously, is a job at the Ministry that interesting? Jesus.

Slinking away with a huff, you slipped out through the door in the corner of the Hall, shutting it quietly. Before you were even five steps down the corridor, a rough hand latched onto your arm and pulled you into a shadowed corner, your back slamming against the stone wall. That well-known scent of sweet wine, smoke and fresh books surrounded you, and you instantly knew who had dragged you aside.

Severus stepped in front of you, his black cloak sweeping behind him. Those large, unyielding hands held your arms captive beside your torso as his wicked black eyes burned into yours furiously. You suddenly felt incredibly short in his presence.

"Do you think you're clever, acting like that in front of me?" Severus's deep voice rumbled through you, his fingers squeezing around your arms in a vice-like grip.

"Like what?" You asked, voice quiet and soft, painting an innocent expression upon your face. Severus's lip twitched irritatingly at your answer, and he stepped forwards so your bodies were touching.

"You know exactly what you were doing, you stupid girl," Severus whispered harshly, pushing his face impossibly close to yours. His hot breath tickled your cheeks, and you found yourself blushing, a pretty shade of crimson blossoming across your soft cheeks.

"So what if I was?" You whispered back, your twinkling eyes fixed to his.

"You're dancing on a very dangerous and thin line, Miss L/N." Severus uttered, tongue clicking as he stared down at you, nostrils flaring as his breaths became more desperate and ragged.

"Am I?" You taunted him, inching your face forwards, grazing your nose against his. You heard his breath hitch, and it sent an excited shiver speeding down your spine. A mischievous, toothy grin spread across your face at his lack of control.

"You're much too bold for a girl of your age." He muttered and swallowed thickly, evidently trying to get ahold of his 

"Maybe you're just losing your touch, professor." You whispered, shifting your head so your lips were beside his ear; teeth scraping against his lobe tantalisingly. A muffled and broken groan caught in his throat. Severus hated to admit it, but something about you calling him by his title made his stomach hot. "Cat got your tongue, Severus?" You blinked slowly as you brought your head back from the side of his face, dilated eyes staring up into his heavy-lidded ones. Evidently, he was slowly losing control.

"Hush," Severus hissed, pressing a hand over your mouth. You couldn't help but feel a tad turned on by it. "I can't bear to hear you say one more thing."

Slowly, you reached a hand up, prying his fingers from your lips, "And why's that, professor?" You purred. He growled at the name, slipping his hand behind your head, greedily burying his fingers in the locks of your hair. The softness of it made him groan, and suddenly, he was imagining what it'd be like to fuck you with a fistful of your hair. Perhaps you'd listen then.

Severus clenched his jaw, "I'm not sure you'd like my answer." He said lowly, almost like a warning. His black eyes flicked over your soft features, silently admiring you. He'd never witnessed such beauty, and he sure as hell wasn't going to miss the opportunity to drink you in like a delicious wine.

"Try me." You whispered and lifted a hand to grab at the edge of his cloak, tugging him towards you as if to encourage him. And if that wasn't enough, you boldly stood on the tips of your toes to press a light kiss to his jaw.

Severus was teetering on the edge of a very bad decision, and the fact that you had your hands on him wasn't helping his case - it felt as if you were right behind him, pushing him, desperately trying to make him fall off of it. In all his years of practicing self-discipline and control, never had he come across such a tempting and alluring individual such as yourself. Severus felt as if you were some sort of test - perhaps this was all in his imagination.

"You know you want to," you purred again, pressing your parted lips upon his jawbone, "show me what Severus Snape is truly capable of." Teasingly, you nipped at his pale skin with your teeth, and that grounded the wizard. No, no, this was most definitely real.

Before you could pull your head away from his, Severus crashed his lips against yours hungrily, and you melted into his touch like an ice cream left in the sun. He had you pressed against the stone wall, lips locked with yours in an intense, fiery fight. A large, cool hand flew to your hip and pulled you against his strong body. Despite being dressed, you could feel every outline of his figure, and you couldn't help but selfishly reach a hand down to feel his torso. Severus groaned at your touch, and it felt like his body was on fire.

He needed you, and now.

He had to force himself to pull his lips off of yours, and you reluctantly obliged, your eyes opening and gazing up at his like a lost, lovesick puppy. "My office. Now." Severus ordered breathlessly as his hand slid up from your hips to your arm, his fingers wrapping around it with a tight grip. He tugged you along with him as he suddenly set off into a quick walk.

"Look how eager you are," you cooed tauntingly, a smirk growing on your lips as you let Severus lead you, "I knew you'd cave. So weak." That crude smirk turned into a proud grin, though it was quickly dropped as Severus whipped around, his black hair swishing with him.

You gasped as you were shoved backwards, hitting the wall with a soft thud. It wasn't a hostile shove, but rather a show of dominance from Severus - which was rather unusual. Apparently, you brought out the hidden, dark side to him. Something you were very, very eager to see and experience.

A bashful smile crept onto your lips as you gazed up at Severus with wide eyes, far from scared. This should have enraged him, however, it intrigued him instead. His eyes narrowed into thin slits as he glowered down at you with a scowl, a tempting tingle settling between your legs.

Severus leaned down, pushing his face into yours, and you tilted your head downwards slightly though still keeping eye contact. "I'm going to ruin that audacious, pretty little mouth of yours." He muttered with a wicked promise, lifting a hand to grasp your jaw, running his thumb over your bottom lip. Your breath hitched at his touch. "Perhaps then you'll learn when to speak." Severus tutted, pausing for a moment to glide his fingers down your neck, eliciting a shiver of goosebumps to litter your burning skin.

Without further ado, Severus's hand returned to your arm, and he tugged you away again, in the direction of his office. You were sure that after he had his way with you, you'll have learned a lot more than just learning when to speak...

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

The more I think about Ben's girlfriend the more shady and off it sounds. This whole thing is rotting my brain so hard that... Welcome to ��� Ben's character breakdown in Chaos Theory and "Ben's GF" theory✨

Here is what we know about Ben in Chaos Theory that may or may not be crucial:

- he used to be in a college but is currently taking a break

- he keeps all of his necessities in his van

- he is obsessed with conspiracy theories

- he occasionally keeps in touch with the rest of the campers (knew where Darius lived, received at least one parcel from Sammy)

- has a girlfriend from Europe and it's a long distance relationship

- gets paranoid easily (refuses to use the phone because it's trackable, believes that he is followed)

Here are things we don't know for sure but are assumable:

- his obsession with conspiracy theories is at least one year old (Ben talked about it with Brooklyn when he was still in college and it sounded fairly fresh)

- he spends a lot of time traveling in his van (very possible that he has been living there for a while)

- he didn't tell anyone about his girlfriend prior to events in CT

- Brooklyn was most likely (to some degree) infected by Ben's obsession with Dark Jurassic

Other things that I noticed:

- Ben talks about his girlfriend twice and his sentences about her can be roughly divided into two categories: normal speech bubbles and awkward hesitance.

- Ben was the one who told Brooklyn about Dark Jurassic

Theory under the cut:

A lot of things about Ben's behaviour tick me off. Don't get me wrong - everything is still in character but at the same time... It feels slightly off. The girlfriend thing is what set the alarm inside my head but the more I thought about it, the more things just didn't quite click.

As I mentioned earlier, how Ben talks about his girlfriend can be divided into two categories: normal speech bubbles and awkward hesitation. When he says that he has a girlfriend and doesn't behave like Sammy it sounds normal and casual, the same when he mentions his girlfriend to Yaz - I doubt he would lie to Yaz about that. So, I think, in general, that this person (his GF) does exist, or at least Ben believes that she exists and is his girlfriend. However, it would be foolish to ignore the very awkward "she's from... Europe" - it sounds hesitant, it sounds like a lie, or even (what I'm leaning towards nowadays) sounds like a bashful admittance that Ben doesn't know much about her. Keep that in mind for now.

One of the first things we learn about Ben in CT is that he is obsessed with Dark Jurassic and conspiracy theories. While some part of it can certainly be explained by lingering trauma ("the more you know, the safer you are"), I feel like that explanation alone isn't enough. What is even more interesting is that it seems that this obsession is strong enough for him to take a break from college and move to live in a van. Not his mother (who, as far as we know, is very loving) but a van. Almost as if he wanted to reduce contact with other people to the minimum - and we actually have proof for that because he doesn't use a phone. We also have evidence that it is both a fairly new and not-that-new development. From his flashbacks, we know that Brooklyn visited him in college - which, according to my very rough estimations, probably happened around a year ago (assuming that Ben entered college at 18 (he is 20 in CT) and Brooklyn died more than six months ago)), and we also know that this is when Ben mentioned Dark Jurassic to Brooklyn.

I think the bit about Ben mentioning Dark Jurassic to Brooklyn is a very interesting detail because Brooklyn was introduced to us as someone whose presence is very rooted online. And yet it is Ben who tells Brooklyn about Dark Jurassic. Ever since he spoke to Brooklyn about that, his obsession started to expand (surely, Brooklyn's "death" only fueled that), slowly consuming every aspect of his life – he took a break from college, he decided to spend a lot of time on the road, he dedicated a lot of his time to checking conspiracy theories. He became paranoid in a sense (which he used to be prone to as proved in season 1 of Camp Cretaceous) to the point when he considered suspecting Sammy. ben double-checks everything, he tries not to stay too long in one place, he is afraid that he is being tracked (rightfully so), and yet... he is in a long-distance relationship with someone "from... Europe".

This is where my theory enters. I tried to consider every aspect of Ben's personality and also the flow of the story in Chaos Theory - where the plot is thick and full of twists and turns.

I think that it was Ben's girlfriend who nudged him in the direction of Dark Jurassic. Or even – potentially he was the first "victim" of the anti-nublar six agenda. What's the best way to keep track of all the campers? Have an insider. Ben suspected that Sammy was spying, he didn't even consider that he could be the unknowing insider. It could have played out like this: when you're in college you come across many people who know other people etc etc. One way or another Ben got into contact with his current girlfriend (I doubt they have ever met in person but I don't completely rule out this possibility). They got close, when she showed his Dark Jurassic - a website brimming with mysteries - knowing that he would be interested (Ben has trouble establishing what is "normal", he is a little lost - the more lost you are, the more desperate you are to find out "what is real, what is true", reaching even for things like conspiracy theories). The deeper Ben fell into the rabbit hole, the more anxious he was, suspicious of others too – but not of his girlfriend. Why? Because she was the one who showed Dark Jurassic to him. She showed him where he could learn more, so naturally - naturally - she is beyond suspicion, right? Because (I doubt Ben has ever even voiced those thoughts but he didn't have to voice them out, the feel them) if she had something to hide, she wouldn't encourage him to explore the world of "I should be suspicious of everything/nothing is real".

At the same time, Ben is a smart boy - but he started to realize "some things" when he was way too deep. For example, with time he realized how little he actually knew about his girlfriend. By then, he trusted her a lot so now it would be awkward to admit that there are a lot of things he doesn't know like the fact that he's not even sure where is she from. It is also important to note that considering the timeline, they have been in a relationship for a while, and yet only now do the campers learn about her - strange considering that he stays (more or less) in touch with some of them. Perhaps, one way or another, at the beginning his girlfriend suggested him to... not mention her. Just in case. In case Ben's friends wanted to know more and encouraged Ben to start asking questions – questions that could be "uncomfortable" for Ben's girlfriend. No, I think she wanted to know everything about the Nublar Six but remain mysterious in return - at least until the plan (her plan? their plan? who are they?) was in full swing. Notice how Ben doesn't use the phone right now, but I'm pretty sure that it is a new development (I'm talking months news). Why new? Because earlier, it was crucial for his girlfriend to know everything (what are his friends up to, where are they) and to fuel Ben's anxiety and paranoia. Now when the atrociraptors are actively hunting the Nublar Six, when the plan is already in development, Ben isn't as needed as he used to be (that also explains why it was Brooklyn, not Ben who was lethally targetted first – Ben was literally needed alive because he was an active naive insider + because Ben trusted his girlfriend and wasn't suspicious of her presence around the conspiracy, whilst Brooklyn could be suspicious in more dangerous ways).

So yes, right now, this theory seems to more or less tie up most of the loose ends and weird things that surround Ben. To put it briefly – Ben was manipulated - his girlfriend is real but has some sort of ulterior motives.

(and oh wouldn't it be a dramatic plot twist if the person who suspected everyone turned out to be the one who was, ultimately, delivering a lot of information to the "bad guys"?)

if you got this far - congrats tbh hahah

[crowandmousewritingco]

🇹​🇭​🇪​ 🇲​🇺​🇸​🇪​🇺​🇲​ 🇫​🇪​🇮​🇱​🇩​🇹​🇷​🇮​🇵​

Paring: Mr. Ben x trans!reader

Words: 1.8k

Rating: R to P

Author: Mod Crow

Author's Note: This was originally a Kinktober prompt, but I couldn't get it finish it in time. Soooo instead, I present to you what I'm going to try to post all of my unfinished Kinktober fics, and I'm going to call them the "Post Nut November" fics. I'm aware the gif isn't Mr. Ben (let's use our imaginations gurlies) but there aren't many good gifs of that man out there. Besides, we know Mr. Ben wears glasses thanks to one of the sexy fancams that one of those students made.

Summary: What was supposed to be a normal field trip with your daughter’s class turns out to be anything but that. You end up talking to your daughter’s teacher -Mr. Ben- while on the bus ride to the museum. Once at the museum Mr. Ben drags you off to an “Employees Only’ area, and one thing leads to another.

Warnings: Language, sexual content (obviously lol), you do have a daughter in this (Dahlia), pet names (sir and puppy) MDNI 18+

When you had agreed to help your daughter -Dahlia’s- ninth grade history class with their Smithsonian trips, you had been expecting the constant screaming of kids and constantly telling them to stay close and to not touch anything. You even came prepared with your little travel first-aid kit (you could never be too prepared when it comes to kids.) What you didn’t take into account was their teacher. You thought you knew what you were agreeing to, but as the bus made its way to D.C. the two of you had a chance to get to know each other. What you didn’t plan was the thing the two of you were currently doing.

Slapping one hand over your mouth, attempts to muffle the unholy hymns of pleasure that want to leave through your kiss plumped lips. Looking down to Mr. Ben -or Ben as he kept insisting you call him- your eyes instantly finding his, the welcoming warm chocolate eyes replaced with pupils blown wide with want and need. 

Gripping Ben’s hair tighter, you threw your head back as your hips took on a mind of their own. As you stood there, in some side hallway that extended past an ‘Employee Only’ sign, you could feel the coil in the pit of your stomach growing tighter and tighter. Your once rhythmic  grinding soon becomes feverish, the silence you had tried so hard to preserve now filled with the wet sounds of Ben’s handwork and the soft pants as you need the edge.

“F-Fuck…Ben. I-I’m gonna…ahhh…I’m gonna cum. Please don’t stop.” Your voice came out as a pleading whine, and that seemed to spur him on. Without warning you felt the knot in your stomach snap, your legs -or rather leg- held Ben closer to you, as you came, a silent scream had your face in this contorted look of pleasure and surprise. Your grinding slowed as your high raked through your body, till you were nothing more than a shaky mess.

Feeling Ben pull away, you gasp slightly, the cool air of the museum hitting your sensitive cock. Swallowing dryly, you watch as Ben gives your cock one final long slow lick, the action earning him a few breathless whimpers. Standing up right you study him, the way his messy hair laid on top of his head, the way his facial hair comes in patchy and is colored almost as if with salt and pepper, but one of the many things you liked about Ben was his aquiline nose, and the way it was constantly bumping your cock while he was paying attention to your entrance.

With your brain still foggy from the orgasm, you turn to face the wall, hands bracing yourself for what was about to happen. Looking over your shoulder, you put on your best puppy face, “Mr. Ben sir,” You bite your lip, pressing your ass to the noticeable tent in his khakis. This time you were the one rewarded with beautiful sounds. Though they weren’t whimpers. They were the next best thing, groans and growl like sounds. “I need help with something. Do you think you can help me?” As the question fell from your lips you slowly grinded against him. 

Feeling Ben grab your hips harshly caused a gasp to escape your lips, before pressing himself to you harder. Feeling him let go of you with one hand, you go to look to see what he has planned. The sound of a zipper giving it away. It didn’t take long before you felt the head of Ben’s cock rubbing your own before sliding his length to your needy hole.

“I think I can actually help you with that. The real question is,” Feeling his clothed chest press into your back, his hushed tone causing goosebumps to erupt over your skin, “Do you think you can stay quiet? I’d hate for us to get found.” Feeling heat spreads across your face and your brain begins to swim, all you can do is nod. 

“Tsk tsk tsk, you were using your words earlier. What happened to that pretty voice of yours now?” Trying to process the question just presented to you, you push yourself off the wall slightly. Looking over your shoulder, a quizzical look on your face, you saw Ben’s. A smirk, one that spelled trouble for you. Before you had a chance to ask him anything, you felt him bury himself in you in one fluid snap of the hips. The action causes your jaw to go lax as a silent scream is forced out of your body. 

As Ben continued to fuck you up against the wall, he was quick to wrap his warm lithe fingers around your neck. As a sound behinds to bubble from your chest, Ben squeezes just hard enough that it causes you to hiccup in the middle of your exhale. The smirk on Ben’s face growing more playfully, but you could still see his lust blown pupils. Loosening the squeeze just enough to feel the blood come flooding back to your brain, causing your brain to grow foggy and spacey. And unbeknownst to you, that feeling of your head floating and the rhythm and speed of Ben’s hips snapping into you, was enough to topple you over the edge. 

“Oh you look so pretty cumming on my cock like that.” You feel the hand around your neck slide up your face just enough for his fingers to set over your lips. Without even needing to be told, you opened your mouth. Feeling his fingers slip into your mouth, you couldn’t help but run your tongue over Ben’s fingers. “Fuck…I’m gonna cum. Where do you want me to cum puppy?” You could feel Ben losing his rhythm, but the speed never changed once.

“Mouth.” The word being distorted by his fingers. It was obvious that Ben liked your idea based on the way his cock twitched inside of you. Pulling out, you can’t help but let the soft whimper leave you, at the emptiness. Your sorrow was short lived because in what felt like a blink of an eye, you felt Ben turn you to face him and then gently persuade you to your knees with a gentle push.

On your knees you look up to Ben as he strokes himself. Opening your mouth, you allow your tongue to lull out of your mouth; the simple action causing Ben to groan. As you close your eyes you feel Ben grab a handful of your hair before guiding his cock into your mouth. Moaning at the taste of yourself on him you reached and gently cupped his balls, taking him further into your mouth. Bobbing your head you can feel Ben twitch against your tongue, the feeling spurring you to relax your throat and swallow around him. 

“F-Fuck, puppy I-I’m going to-” Ben’s words being cut off by a growl like groan vibrating his entire chest. You felt him grip a handful of your hair and hold you in place while he came -quite literally- down your throat. Squeezing your eyes shut, you focused on remaining relaxed so as to not start gagging around Ben. As Ben pulled out you couldn’t stop the one single gag that escaped. With his cock out of your mouth, you took sharp ragged breaths in. Tucking his cock back into his boxers, he makes quick work of fixing his pants. Squatting in front of you, Ben tucks a few strands of sweat slicked hair from your forehead. “You okay? I-I wasn’t too rough was I? I didn’t hurt you did I?” You could hear the worry lacing Ben’s words. Shaking your head, you reach up and plant a hand on his chest.

“You didn’t hurt me. I would have stopped if you did.” Your voice hoarse from its rough treatment. Your words helped soothe him only a bit. “I’ll be fine. Honest. All I need is some water and maybe a cough drop or two.” You nudged him playfully, earning a soft chuckle from the older man. 

“Okay, I’ll believe you.” Standing up, Ben offered you a hand and you happily took it. Standing up, you felt Ben pull you into his chest almost instantly. The feeling of the tug causing you to gasp softly. “We should do this again, though let me take you to dinner first.” His words finished with a soft chuckle. 

“Mr. Ben, are you asking one of your student’s parents on a date?” You playfully joke. You wiggle from his grasp so that you can redress your lower half.

“I most certainly am.” You can hear the playfully tone in his voice. “So what do you say? Is it a date?” Looking over at him, you can see a faint blush spread across his tanned face. Buttoning your pants, you reach up to his face. Holding his heated face in your hands, staring into his dark chocolate colored eyes through his black framed glasses, you smile softly.

“It’s a date.” Pulling his face to yours you press your lips to his gently. The kiss short lived at the sound of voices growing louder just before the door swung open. 

“What did Margaret need for Koch’s Deep Time exhib-” The woman's voice stopping as soon as she looked at the two of you. “Excuse me, what are you doing back here? This is a restricted area.” The taller of the two women reaching for the microphone clipped to her folded collar. 

“I told you that this wasn’t the way to the bathroom love.” Ben nudges you. For a moment you’re confused, but then it clicks.

“O-Oh! I told you I wasn’t any good at reading these maps babe.” You grab Ben’s hand and gently pull him along. You look at the two women. “Sorry about this, it was my mistake.” Walking past the two of them you push open the doors and step back into the loud main gallery of the museum. The voices substantially louder than they were only moments ago. 

Looking around, you search for your daughter and her class among the swarms of people. When your eyes landed on the assistant teacher and the class, you sighed softly. With Ben’s hand still in yours, you snake the two of you between bodies. Once closer to the group you gave his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go of his hand.

“Dad, where were you? And why is Mr. Ben's face all red? AND why is staring over here at us?” You look down at your daughter before looking over to Mr. Ben who, in fact, is staring at you.

“I ran off to the bathroom and bumped into your teacher while going in.” Hearing the museum’s tour guide speak up you nudge your daughter -Dahlia- as a way to say ‘pay attention’.  Your eyes slipping back to Ben, the words said earlier echoing in your head. “It’s a date”

credit: @inklore

All Works Taglist

@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose

Pedro Characters Taglist

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges

@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal

@morallyinept @lady-bess

@pedrostories @rivnedell

@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing

@jessthebaker

"MDNI" banner was made by the lovely @drizztdohurtin

[pernicious-pastas]

*cracks knuckles*

Creeps Headcanons !!

these are a little rushed but here’s some basic headcanons

Masky:

-Masky himself, is just a proxy. He's not Tim, He's not anybody, just alive to serve Slenderman and fulfill “menial” tasks in Slender’s eyes, which of course is actually the emotionless calculated butchering of citizens. He realistically has no discernable looks, age, or even a standing in humanity. But he aligns with whatever body he's in at the moment. While he's Tim- Masky is in his mid-late 20s, strong and incredibly skilled in combat. Muscular arms and broad shoulders with dark brooding eyes.

-While Masky is only here to research, prepare/confirm directions, as well as fulfill most of the missions- He can still have his own personality and tendencies !!

-Short-tempted, blunt, and none of the southern hospitality his vessel’s accent would incline you to believe, Masky can be described as “difficult” by many, many people. Most people actually.

-Around people who he actually does like he’s still a bit of a prick, but you can see there’s more that meets the eye. He’s funny and lighthearted, and willing to lend a helping hand no matter what situation he’ll end up putting himself through.

-smokes Marlboro Red Shorts. Haha.

Hoodie:

-Like Masky, He aligns with his current vessel. Early-mid 20s and incredibly buff, He's the tallest proxy standing at 6’2. Think college gym-bro whose body got snatched and taken to be inhabited by an unhinged sad man. Oh wait-

-Hoodie is quite standoffish and cold to people he doesn’t know, but his friends would describe him as a good soul trapped under a hard exterior and expectations. His hearty laugh is the most contagious of the creeps- if you’re lucky enough to get one out of him.

-Selective mutism whilst on missions/around certain people *caugh* slender *cough* as well as most of the creeps.

-He hangs out with Ben and E. Jack while not on missions. Though he does consider himself a loner and lives in a small cabin near the mansion he built himself a few 30 or so years ago, in a close proximity he also built four other cabins, which he (semi-reluctantly) allows Masky, Toby, and E. Jack use, the other is empty. Throughout his life he’s build countless cabins and camp-outs, which he takes advantage of regularly while out on missions.

Toby:

-Toby is in his mid-20s, with brown locks unkemptly framing his face. He's lean and tall, strong and intelligent, definitely the brains of the proxies. Toby has a few facial piercings from Ben using him as a practice dummy- though he loves the looks (Slender wants to rip them out)

-Because he's the only ‘human’ proxy, Toby’s given fewer missions and hours because of his lower mental and physical stamina, No super strength for Toby :(

-Slender allows him to work a part-time job as a result of that. Hoodie and Masky do the brunt of the work but Toby brings in their dough to survive- so they don’t really mind- they are sort of spiteful though.

-Toby works somewhere in food service… I'll get back to you on that

Ben:

- Ben is a 5’5 male who behaves and appears to be in his early 20s, due to him being in the “ghost” class of creeps, he ‘ages’ incredibly slowly. With a blond shaggy outgrown mullet, he's rocking your classic cool guy stoner look. average Weezer and Nirvana enjoyer (Kurt Cobain dupe ?? 😱). Multiple facial and body piercing/mods. Perks of ghost nerves and pain receptors- He technically has none!

-Being in the mansion for almost 20-30 years now, he's one of the go-to guys when you have questions or just want a buddy around. He's friendly with everyone even if just surface level, which means he's always down to stir the pot when he gets bored.

-Resident stoner and video game enthusiast. Have a few hours to kill and Slender to disappoint? Come hang in Ben's room!

-Part time sales associate in a slow-paced electronic parts & games store. Loves to look busy at the counter doing nothing for hours but is somehow employee of the month?? Favorite part of the job is organizing shelves perfectly and then moving around merchandise to do it all over again. Always late to work even though he comes in through an old tv in the back? what traffic??

-girl flirting with him: *points to the legend of zelda poster behind him* hey, has anyone told you you look like link?

-him, visibly sweating: i don’t know who that is.

Eyeless Jack:

-Jack is normally an ordinary, 6’5 man with dark brown curls that fall over his ears, he has a large muscular frame and shark-like teeth with distinct canines. He has dark grey skin, with long black claws, and of course, empty eye sockets with black tar sporadically leaking from them. So very ordinary!

-When hungry, Jacks's fingernails and teeth start to painfully grow, his eyes become pin-pointed and tunnel-visioned. The only sense he can make out is smell. Ripping into the first thing/person he can find and feeling bad later.

-Jack tries his hardest to stay well-fed. And with friends in high places, it's not a difficult task.

-He's a huge homebody. He doesn't like seeing people or going out, but he does like hanging out with the other creeps. He most enjoys the company of Hoodie or Ben, but doesn't mind the others. he comes off as aloof to the people he doesn't really make an effort to interact with.

-(I'm gonna write a Jack fic soon so just know he's possessive and a lover boy. details soon)

[tw33k-tucker]

Doodle requests are open‼️

The series characters I can draw the best(In order) are:

South Park, Eddsworld, Creepypasta, n' SMG4

Just a some things about me(changes/updates so much)

Fictionkin of:

Tweek Tweak

Craig Tucker

Kyle Broflovski

Kenny McCormick

Stan Marsh (South Park)

Mickey (Bobs Burgers)

Carl Grimes

Daryl Dixon (TWD) (I'm 99% sure I am a Fictionkin of him👍)

Gregory House (House M.D.)

Lucifer

Vox

Husk

Angel Dust (Hazbin hotel)

Sniper

Medic {Pls, istg I'm not insane anymore, I swear😭} (TF2)

Tord (Eddsworld)

Shadow ( Sonic, but not sure which specific Sonic yet)

Questioning 2

+ I have also found out I am a fictionflicker, so if there's some kins I have that aren't on the list above that's why👍 I do have a few recurring fictionflickers though, Such as:

Hunter (TOH)

Michael Afton (FNAF)

Crying Child/BV/Evan Afton (FNAF 4)

Tom (Eddsworld)

Adam (Hazbin Hotel)

SMG3 + Mr Puzzles (SMG4)

Ticci Toby

BEN Drowned + Jeff The Killer (Creepypasta)

Scout/Jeremy(TF2)

Louise (Bobs Burgers)

Therian but not completely comfortable to reveal some of my Theriotypes, but the ones I'm fine with revealing are a Border Collie, Island Fox, Clouded leopard, Red Panda, Some kind of Shark, Bi Color german shepherd, and an Opossum.

Current Shifts/Kinfeels:

Tweek Tweak

Craig Tucker

Scout/Jeremy

Ticci Toby

He/Him (Trans FTM/Masc)

Minor !! (I'm changing it to minor cause I only want the people close to me/my mutuals to know my age, sorry if its weird or smthn!!!)

Christan (but excepts any religion)

Favorite Animal is Guinea pigs

2nd favorite drink is coffee (My #1 favorite drink is water cause I need it to survive)

Top 5 Favorite songs:

1st: Runs in the family - Amanda Palmer

2nd: Life - Mother Mother

3rd: Animals - STOMACH BOOK

4th: Bad Habit - Steve Lacy

5th: Cupid's Chokehold / Breakfast In America - Gym Class Heros

(it was top 10 before, but I'm to lazy for that crap)

A few last random shit facts 'bout me + some random things

I am very scared of alarms(Like, fire alarms)

I have Trypophobia aka fear of holes(it's very bad)

I have a love hate relationship with insects

I'm AroAce but I still want a romantic relationship and Bi

Wolverine is my all-time favorite hero(I don't care that he's technically an anti-hero/also an X-Men, he's the best)

Black and Red are my favorite colors

HTTYD is my favorite movie series

I love Scooby Doo(Especially Mystery Incorporated)

I am a mix of Introverted and Extroverted

I swear I wanna cry when stuff I've been waiting for is altered(Don't ask, I have no idea why)

I have anxiety

I freak out VERY easily

Salamanders are so cool istg

I have sensitive ears so I hate loud noises(I think I'm just a wimp)

I was in a car crash when I was 8(Luckily me and my dad were fine)

I like Diary of a wimpy kid

I have an older brother that I fight with(Imagine Rodrick and Greg's rivalry)

Some noises also make me want to bawl my eyes out(Also don't ask why, I seriously don't know)

I will 'kill' you if you look in my sketchbook(I swear you do not wanna see it, like really, you do NOT)

I have social anxiety👍

I'm seriously fucked up in the brain

I have asthma

I have OCD and BPD

And also i've decided to make tags because it is so annoying trying to find certain posts. So: the art tag is #Tw33k Draws the ask tag is #Tw33ks asks and I also use #Tw33k Rambles when I'm just talking and then as well theres just the #Shitpost tag on the posts I post that have words or images that isn't art, I also #Tw33k Rants, I think that name is pretty self explanatory, I also don't add tags to like any of the stuff I reblog unless I'm talking in the tags

I'm horrible at spelling

And yeah, that's all I'm willing to tell

Also please don't hate me, I can't control who I am

Thanks for reading

Random Icons :D

Okay! One last thing, sense I have started the Zombie Park series, you can ask them questions about litterly ANYTHING some stuff they might not be allowed to answer at the moment like some stuff that'll happen in the future, but if you have any questions about the AU feel free to ask

[coweye]

Commitment Issues - rewrite (part 2/2)

Pairing: Benny Miller x Reader

Summary: When you try and take your friends with benefits relationship to the next level, Benny’s response isn’t quite what you were expecting.

Warning: Explicit.

PREVIOUS PART ✨

14th February 2022 - 26 Weeks Pregnant. 

“Push it in, Ben!” 

“There’s nothing to push - It’s in all the way!” 

“Seriously, Miller?!”

“You wanna do it?!” Benny huffed, holding out the extendable paint roller in hand as he tried to force the two pieces of the black shaft of the plastic pole together. 

“Stop pushing it so hard! You’re gonna break -” A harsh crack of plastic giving way sounded as Ben’s frustration crescendoed. “-It.” 

A sigh escaped you at the expense of the man who would be the father of your child as he threw the two pieces of the roller to the ground in frustration, ranting under his breath about it being a piece of crap. 

Neither one of you spoke for a moment, both still processing the loss of the specialist equipment that would allow you to reach the ridiculously high ceilings in your new bedroom. 

“Well… that was clearly your fault.” Benny snarked only half serious, as he leant back against the wall with a sigh and took a swig of his Yoohoo in defeat.  

The usual cooling beer was nowhere to be seen as alcohol was strictly off of the menu for the Miller-Y/L/N household in an unexpected yet hugely appreciated show of support from Benjamin. 

You couldn’t help yourself as your eyes traced the lines of his strong throat as he swallowed - after all, being considerate was sexy.

“In what fucking world was that my fault? - you’re the one that hulked it!” You scoffed. 

Benny advanced forward, a hand on his hip in faux annoyance, to where you lounged in a camping chair on the opposite side of the room, overseeing the painting operation. He snatched the untouched instructions from where they had been sandwiched between the arm of the chair and the side of your thigh. You tried not to focus on the clenching of your southern regions as his warm palm grazed the meat of your thigh. 

“Y/N! Seriously? Dude! It says goddamn twist!” Your brain scrambled for a defense but came up empty. 

How could you explain that your hormone addled brain had been too preoccupied appreciating the way his t-shirt strained against the muscle of his bicep as he tried to force the mismatched pieces together with sheer strength. 

Honestly, you weren’t sure what size that man was buying but for the sake of your sanity you were this close to recommending he size-up. 

“Oh…” 

Benny simply shook his head with a snort and folded the thin instruction manual back up before he bopped your forehead with it. 

“I’ll see if Frankie has a ladder in his truck.” He turned on his heel with a grin to go find Catfish, who was no doubt painting or reassembling furniture in one of the rooms in your new home. 

It had been two months since the Christmas debacle and you were currently trying to find your sea legs in this unforgiving ocean that was your life. 

It was a delicate process, this co-parenting, but the two of you were nailing it.

Together you had decided to get a house near a good school that would become the neutral ground; the two of you were starting over for the sake of your daughter, so you’d agreed to go into this without any ugly preconceptions and all resentment put aside. 

Moving in together was a huge decision that had taken weeks to reach.

Every step of the way you had been terrified that at any moment Benny would turn heel and flee, though his resolve remained strong, in fact he was the one who had suggested it. 

I know! 

Mr I’m-not-looking-for-anything-serious-right-now, suggested you move and play house.

Well not quite, as the two of you had yet to discuss that side of your friendship. 

There was a ceasefire in action; a mutually beneficial truce that was admittedly fractured, neither one of you was brave enough to test the bounds and risk destroying the delicate ecosystem that had been created in the suburbs. This little girl was all that mattered.

The two of you had fallen back into step of your old friendship, only with significantly more longing looks, lingering touches and awkward silences… but sure, for the most part, totally nailing it.  

Who were you kidding? 

You were longing for his touch, every time he stroked your stomach and sang to his daughter, every time he drank a can of coke instead of a beer you were positively quaking with desire. 

Your hormones didn’t help but they couldn’t be entirely blamed. 

It felt like your life was coming together, like you could be a real family in this house. 

Hell, you could get rid of the other of the bedroom and have a nursery and wake up every morning to Benny peppering your neck with kisses as he breached your walls with slow sleepy morning sex. 

Benny was getting his shit together. He was almost unrecognizable as the man who had let you down nearly three months ago. 

He had accepted a job at the gym as a personal trainer - part-time, of course - which meant he had a steadier income to supplement his fights. 

Benny had become … consistent. 

He answered his phone when you needed him, he was less prone to flying off of the handle and he hadn’t run away from you in a 7/11 car park in like three whole months.

Hell, he had even started attending some sessions down at the VA with Will! Honestly - Fatherhood suited him. It was like the responsibility had given him something he’d been missing since returning home.

You also hadn’t been able to help noticing a deficit in women, perhaps it was naive to assume when you’d only lived together for the better part of an afternoon that you knew his business. Maybe it was blind hope, but the two of you had moments. 

Fleeting ones, but moments nonetheless!

Ones where he’d laugh a little harder at your joke than it really deserved or his hugs that lingered far too long when he’d leave your apartment - you swore he smelled your hair once.

You felt like the two of you were building to something, that you could see the light at the end of the tunnel, a real future for the three of you. 

Apparently by planning out the next ten years of yours and Ben’s life together you had tempted fate.

Your attention was drawn quite innocently to his phone which was nestled in the mesh cup holder of your camping chair for safekeeping whilst he painted. 

You’d swear in a court of law that you only glanced at the screen because you thought it was your own, however the message that flashed on the screen snuffed out the light in your daydreams.

‘JASMINE: Are we still on for later? ’

Oh. 

Huh.

Okay.

You weren’t sure of the myriad of emotions that powered through you in quick succession. 

Hurt, jealousy, anger; those were the easiest to pick out.

Logically, you had no claim to the man, you’d agreed to co-parent, nothing more. But the betrayal of the life that could’ve been was hard to stomach.

Unable to stop and not entirely sure it was your hormones at fault, your throat clenched and your eyes began watering. 

It was stupid, to be so broken up over what was essentially eye contact and accidental touches but, there it was. 

When Benny rounded the corner carrying a ladder to find your streaming eyes he unceremoniously laid it against the wall and fell to his knees before you.

“Darlin’ you thinking about the life insurance advert again?” one hand cradled your jaw whilst the other entwined your fingers with his as you fought every urge to pull away. “You know they’re just actors.” 

Just a few moments ago attention like this would’ve killed you dead, but now, it didn’t mean anything; he was your friend. 

He cared for you and your daughter, that’s all it was. 

You had talked the talk, now it was time to walk the walk. 

You’d be the best goddamn mother this kid could ask for and that would be enough, it had to be.

16th March 2022 -  31 weeks pregnant

Three months.

Three months of being treated like an invalid.

You weren’t allowed to lift anything deemed too heavy, you weren’t allowed to workout and god forbid you tried to put together some of the furniture for the nursery alone - hell, you were barely allowed to go to work. 

At Val’s misplaced insistence you’d been transferred to desk duty.

You may be thinking, gee, but Y/N what exactly does a school nurse on desk duty do? 

Well, she sits on her newly fat ass all day and logs every record of every menial accident to happen in this miserable place since 1965. 

Yup, that’s every single scraped knee or nose bleed in the past sixty years. 

You weren’t even half way through the 80’s after three whole weeks of this hell. 

The doctor had recommended taking it easy but you didn’t know if you had another two months like this left in you. 

Not to mention the Godforsaken hormones. 

They had been wreaking havoc ever since your second trimester, but somehow as the months progressed, they had doubled down as an apparent non-stop ache had taken up permanent residence between your thighs.

This kid was slowly killing you.

The ever present resentment flared as Val returned with your lemonade instead of an icy beer, though you accepted with thanks as the two of you relaxed on your new porch swing in your back garden. 

The sun had begun to set as the boys were up wing using the fancy new BBQ grill; a generous house-warming gift from the now absent Santiago.

The trio chuckled loudly at a remark you couldn’t quite catch from Catfish. Departing Will had made a retort as he came to join the two of you, a bowl of barbecued corn in hand as a peace offering. 

You’re somehow annoyed at Benny’s thoughtful anticipation of your never ending hunger. Logic was an old friend these days, hell, he was a penpal at this point.

All the same you took the corn with a grateful smile, taking a large bite of the buttery goodness as Ironhead sat with a groan as he made himself comfortable in the folding camp chair to your right.

“So, how’s motherhood treating ya?” Will questioned with a deep chuckle at the filthy look you threw his way. 

“It fuckin’ sucks” You huffed inbetween bites of corn.

“Preach that shit.” Val joked as she raised her glass in toast.

“I’m hungry all the time, everything’s swollen and beer! - I miss beer so much. I have a headache every other day and Will - I’m so sorry, but everything turns me on.” Will - to his credit merely snorted into his beer at your embarrassing monologue. “Val, I swear, I saw Frankie licking his fingers after chips earlier and I almost jumped him.” 

Val cackled at your confession. “Oh hon, you’re at the halfway point - a light breeze angled the right way will do that to you!”

“I can do something about one of those things… The food Y/N. The food.” Will held the bowl of corn up in surrender, looking terrified for a moment when your head had perked up at the implication. 

“What about Benny? Surely he’d be willing to… help you?” Val waggled her eyebrows, completely avoiding eye contact with Will as she conspired about his brothers sex life. 

You paused your nibbling on the near bare husk and placed it in the bowl Will currently gripped in defense of his virtue. 

He took a swig of his beer pretending to not be interested in your conversation, though you knew full well that man was the biggest gossip you knew, he was as eager for an update as Val. 

“Well, I asked him for some… relief but someone thinks that will open up a can of worms.” You grouch, your voice raised an octave or two into a distinctively whiney pitch as you imitate the father of your child. Will, in his defense, did attempt to hide his smirk though there was definitely some pride mixed in at the mention of his brother’s restraint. You take a swig of your lemonade before continuing. “He doesn’t think we should smash just because of my hormones… might regret it after or some shit.”  

“… how can I possibly resist when she calls it ‘smashing’?” Benny questioned his own voice laced with sarcasm, as he joined the new trio with Catfish and baby Catfish on his heels both carrying plates of delicious food. 

“It’s beyond me.” Val chuckled in an attempt to diffuse, before she turned her gaze towards her child who was head of burger bun distribution. “One for your tia, please baby.”

Mariana grabbed you a plate and began preparing you a burger, dousing it in what you’d consider a confusing combo of far too little cheese and way too much ketchup, but you were eternally ravenous and not above eating it. 

“Mmmh… best burger maker ever! Thank you, beautiful.” You groan to the little girl as she grins proudly to her Dad who has joined you and Val on the swing. 

As she goes about her business filling both of her uncles plates you can’t help the pang of jealousy that fills your heart as you catch the couple in your peripheral.

Frankie had his arm wrapped around Val’s shoulder as she nestled her face into his neck. 

“Te extrañé, Cariño” She whispers, kissing him sweetly. 

Frankie chuckles at her words and takes her hand in his much larger one before placing a kiss on the back of it. He doesn’t relinquish his hold as everyone begins talking once again.It was simply a sweet interaction between a married couple, you can’t quite put a finger on why it makes your heart ache.

Your eyes caught Benny’s. His grin widened as you locked eyes before he noticed the pinch of flesh between your brows. 

The silent conversation began as Ben squinted in question before you managed to school your features and nod his way to let him know you’re fine. 

He isn’t sold, you can tell that from the glances he threw your way for the ten minutes that followed. 

That message from the elusive Jasmine, still weighing heavy on your heart almost a month later.

There were days, like the one where you propositioned him that you’re happy to look past it, where the life you would build together would outlast anything, but then there are days when you hate him for it.

The ones where you didn’t trust him or yourself. 

You’d said goodbye to logic long ago - Emotion reigned here and she could be a cruel bitch when she wanted to be. 

20th April 2022 - 36 weeks 

“Step… step.. now to the left-”

“Oof!” You grunted as your nose met something that felt suspiciously like drywall.

“Your other left, sweetie.” Val corrected kindly, you couldn’t be sure as the blindfold currently compromised your vision but the distinct lilt that usually accompanied a smile filled her voice. 

Grunting you followed her instruction as her palm gripped yours, leading you another three paces.

If you were a betting woman you’d place good money that you were in Will’s house. The pleasant albeit overpowering scent of Teakwood and Tobacco made bile rise in the back of your throat, as it had done ever since the tiny squatter had taken up residence in your womb. 

“Right there, perfect… take it off!” Val instructed as she released your hand.

Hesitantly your own fingers rose, not quite sure what to expect - ‘A surprise’ was a broad construct after all. 

Unfortunately, you were pretty sure you knew what the surprise was - a puppy. 

Benny had been uncharacteristically absent all week and when he’d returned one afternoon after an ‘errand’, he’d shown you an instagram of a golden retriever named Bill, gushing over its cuteness. 

Whilst you could surely appreciate the cuteness, the question of what the hell were a couple with a new baby on the way were supposed to do with a godforsaken puppy weighed heavy on your mind. 

Though, when Val told you of your surprise you had simply resigned yourself to burn that bridge when you got to it.

Finally, you granted your eyes freedom and what was before them made them well of their own accord. 

In the place of a golden retriever puppy was every single person you loved in this world, stood before you with party hats and grins. 

“Surprise!” They cheered in unison. 

Benny stood in the middle of the crowd smiling, you had unconsciously searched him out before you began your scan of the lounge in Will’s home. The entirety of the bottom floor of Ironheads house had been outfitted in puce pink banners and balloons. ‘It’s a girl’ and ‘you go mama’ were the core slogans imprinted on the decorations.

The huge Y/F cake sat in the center of the buffet platter, though not to be outdone, the plates on the platter were filled with every last one of your cravings from the past eight months.  About 20 McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers, peaches, corn, pickles, oreos and cookies - so many different varieties of cookies - you name it, it was there. 

Finally your breaking point came when your eyes caught your Mother and Father on the iPad. 

They had been facetimed from Y/H/T. 

Despite being unable to make it, Benny had made sure that they were included, of course he had. 

The pièce de résistance however, was the man currently holding the iPad up. 

Santiago Garcia; you hadn’t expected to see your flighty best friend until long after your baby was here.

It was all too much, the hormones, the lack of sleep, the thoughtfulness of the father of your child. 

You crumbled into tears and ugly tears at that. 

Thickly, they streamed down your cheeks. You looked up through the wall of hot salt water to find Benny in front of you cradling your jaw, he had gotten to you before even Val who had been at your side. 

“Oh, Babe… I’m sorry, is this not right?” Benny rambles, his nerves getting the better of him. His eyes are frantic as they beg for your forgiveness. “I’m still not completely sure what a baby shower is… we can redo it next-” 

You shut him up with a hug, one of those all encompassing ones which fix everything without words. All of the appreciation and unspoken feelings you had for the man went into this. 

Noone had ever done anything remotely close to this for you before.

Every inch of this party was perfect, because every aspect spoke about the details of your life he’d taken in and memorized. 

At that thought the tears somehow got worse. You were blubbering into his cream jumper, the one you had bought him for his birthday, that alone fueled the wail the left your chest. 

After a moment or two he pulled back, wiping under your eyes with napkins Catfish had discreetly shoved into his hand behind your back. 

“Good tears?”

With a nod and a snotty sniff you confirm. “Good tears.”

Finally you calm down enough for Benny to take your hand in his and refuse to relinquish his hold on it as you greet everyone. Your friends from work, Mr and Mrs Miller, of course - the Morales family and Santi.

Finally dropping his hold on you Ben watches as you embrace your best friend.

“Gordita! You’re sooo big now!” He laughed lifting you from the ground,  you didn’t need to see to know Ben would be cringing in fear for both you and your child. 

“Excuse me, la narizota?” You huffed once he had placed you back on the ground. His answering chuckle thundered throughout the room as he cradled his nose with narrowed eyes.

“It’s not that big.”

“Sure, and I’m not fat…” You smirk, looking down at your protruding belly and raising your eyebrows.

“La puta.” His eyes are narrowed and his voice low but it lacks any real venom.

“I missed you, Hermano.” The two of you embrace once more and even though Santi doesn’t say the words, the kiss on your forehead tells you all you need to know. 

“You’re gonna be a mama!” His voice is cheery as he pulls away before wrapping Ben in his own crushing hug.“And you Benjamin! You’re gonna be a papa!” 

The two men part with a manly pat on the back and Ben is back at your side wrapping a protective arm around your lower back. You lean into his hold, comforted by his familiar cologne and warm jumper. 

“What’s the little lady’s name gonna be?”

“We’re not telling.” Ben says quickly.

“It’s a surprise!” You say at the same time. “Some people are opinionated, and we want the name to be our choice.”

“Really?!” You hear from behind.

Seated on the couch Will leans an arm over the back of the sofa, twisting his torso to defend himself. “Just because I didn’t like the name Daisy?” Jen shoved his shoulder with narrowed eyes before he continued. “What?! It sounded like a damn cow…”

Wait… Jen? Jen was back? … holy shit she was brave returning after what had to be the awkwardest night of your life thus far.  Had you really been that self obsessed for the past four months that you hadn’t realized Will had reignited that old flame? 

You felt a spark of guilt, yet your respect for the woman overcame that as you apologized profusely for the whole awkward affair, with the promise that you’d give her a signal if anything was to break out tonight.

Jen had taken this in good humor and congratulated you on the baby, she had then forced Will to surrender their place on the sofa so that you could sit beside Mrs Miller comfortably with the 7 pound watermelon permanently strapped to your midsection. 

You liked her.

You hadn’t realized that your mother and Ben’s were currently deep in conversation, something about staying at their house when she came up for the birth, there was some vague planning about thanksgiving occurring that you weren’t privy to - though you were sure you’d get looped in eventually, or at least you hoped you would. 

Benny’s mother was a gorgeous woman.

Though you’d expected nothing less, after all both her sons looked like they were created in a lab.  Her boys took after her in their coloring and her sharp features, in her youth you had no doubt she would’ve intimidated you despite her kind nature.

Grinning, she turned to you, before she raised her glasses from the gold string around her neck. She expertly flipped the camera after a moment or two on the iPad to show you off to your mother.

“Look Y/M/N, she’s absolutely glowing!” Mrs Miller complimented. You smile awkwardly, it has never been your strong suit taking praise, well from anyone but Benny. 

And that was a whole different kettle of fish, as the things that degenerate of a man praised you for were much more fun, but objectively not things one should be considering in the company of his mother. 

“Thank you.” You settle for instead.

You speak to the duo for a while, talking about the nursery, baby clothes and the bag you’ve packed for the hospital. That seemed enough to quell their need for information before the two of them begin gossiping.

These two women had yet to meet one another and yet, from what you’d heard, they were now thick as thieves. Phoning each other nearly every night, hell the two of them had become Facebook friends and you’re even pretty sure they meant to do it.   

Your eyes search the room for Benny as she resumes her conversation with your mother, and find his wide shoulders deep in conversation with Will and Jen. 

You’re tempted to thank the woman for birthing an adonis of a son, as she chit-chats to your mother. 

God, you’d love to rip that cable-knit jumper off of him and lick every muscle on that lean body.  

Embarrassingly your eyes must have been burning a hole through his spine as he turns for a moment to lock eyes with your own. 

You hold him in your gaze before he winks, the sonofabitch winks at you and turns back, chuckling at something one of them said.

You can’t quite come to terms with the fact your core is aching from that tiny non-interaction. 

The sex flashbacks had definitely gotten worse since you entered your third trimester. Your hormones were all over the place and it was only made so much worse as masturbation had become near impossible as maneuvering around the massive bump anchored to your front was a logistic challenge.

You had propositioned Benny more times than you could count, but somewhere along the road to fatherhood he had gained a moral fucking compass. 

He didn’t want to just have sex to have sex, he wanted it to mean something.

As neither one of you were willing to risk confessing to more than friendship, you had reached an impasse, where nobody was getting any. 

Well, You didn’t think he was getting any, atleast.

Bothered by this thought you went to stand. Went, being the operative word. 

Much like a ladybird stuck on its back you struggled to get adequate footing to propel yourself forward. 

A large tanned hand stretched out to offer you support, one you took gratefully. From above William Snr was smiling, a plate full of cake in one hand for his wife. 

“Thank you, the melon under my shirt makes things difficult.“

He chuckled at your words, reminding you so much of Benny. “She’s half Miller. It’s in her blood to be difficult.

“You’re preaching to the choir here.” You hold your hands up in surrender smiling at the man before you.

He took your seat as you turned to seek out Ben, only to find him coming towards you with two slices of cake.

He tilted his head towards the back door, where the two of you now found yourself on the porch swing, the only smidgen of privacy you’d received since arriving at the party nearly 2 hours ago. 

“How’s the day going?”

“Amazing, Ben. Thank you.” You take a bite of cake and can’t stop the moan that leaves you. Unfortunately, you don’t see the way his eyes darken at the sound and the reminders it brings him - if you had, you’d have no doubt economized on that weakness.

“I wasn’t sure a baby shower was your thing and with the no drinking I wasn’t-” You’re not used to Benny being apprehensive. Well that’s not true, those few weeks that followed the break-up had been filled with it. Rather, you’re not used to Benny being insecure in himself, he was a fighter, all that bravado and confidence came hand in hand. It was breaking your heart to see it gone. 

So, you threw all caution to the wind. You said fuck it and gambled on yourself for once in your life.

Swallowing the cake in your mouth, you leaned forward, taking his jaw in your fingers, effectively shutting up his dithering monologue and joined your lips.

He breathed out heavily through his nose in shock at your sudden movement. 

At the lack of reciprocation you began to pull away, only to be followed as he dropped his cake to the seat next to him to grab your jaw. His thumb anchored by your ear as his mouth devoured your own. 

It was six month of pent up emotions breaking through that wall of denial. His tongue slid against yours tasting vaguely of vanilla and something that was distinctly Benny. Your own tongue joined the dance, fighting for dominance before you retreated and playfully bit his lip, gaining a groan from the father of your child.

The two of you pulled apart though your foreheads remained touching, both catching your breath. Neither one of you is sure of what to say to the other. 

Finally, you go to speak, however you’re swiftly cut off by his phone and the tinkering bells of Sencha. 

“Ignore it.” He whispers, closing his eyes and catching his breath. You rub your nose against his own which makes him smile.

As you go to join your lips, once again, you are cut off. 

He huffs pulling back. “Someone better be fucking dying.”

He reaches into his back pocket for his phone and looks at the name, with a sigh before he leans forward joining your lips in one final solid kiss. 

“It’s work…I’ll be right back, don’t move, okay?” You nod in agreement, mostly because you want more kisses.

As you run your fingers across your slightly inflamed lips you wish you didn’t hear the words that made the world around you crumble.

“Hey Jaz… Yeah sure, no… I guess I can talk… I’m… not that busy…”

28th April 2022 - 37 weeks pregnant

Life playing host to the parasite that was soon to be your daughter had only gotten worse. Hard to believe, I know.

The gift that kept on giving made sure that you’d suddenly without any warning whatsoever have the overwhelming urge to vomit. 

There was no rhyme or reason to her neat new little party trick but at any given moment your stomach said nope and you bought up whatever you happened to have eaten or as the case may be; be eating at the time. 

Honestly, you weren’t a negative person by nature, but these agonizing eight months had taken it out of you. 

Hell, you were in the process of drafting an eviction notice if this kid didn’t get out of you in the next two weeks. 

Long story short, between this and the Benny situation you were not exactly the best of company, right now. 

The boys and Val had all learnt this early on and for the past eight days, you had given up all pretense of a brave face, now you were bleeding and letting everyone who would listen know about it.

When Santiago, who had decided to stay in town until the birth of your baby, suggested a stroll around the mall, you had fixed him with the stare that would have had a lesser man running back to Colombia with his tail between his legs. Until, of course, he had sweetened the deal with fried chicken, his treat and coincidentally the only meal that you had yet to regurgitate. 

So, here you found yourself with Santiago and William and a six piece bucket to yourself.

The change in company was a welcome distraction from dwelling on your non-existent love life at home with the love of your life. 

After the thorn in your side that was Jasmine, reared her ugly head at the baby shower, you had pulled back into your protective bubble of distant and cold. 

Benny, though confused about the message, received it loud and clear as he returned to the swing to find you inside and talking incredibly heatedly to Valerie. In the eight days that followed, he yet to confront you about it. Apparently old habits died hard.. 

The camaraderie that had come hand in hand with your truce had dissolved. You weren’t actively unpleasant, but you didn’t melt into his side, or nap on the couch with him anymore. 

You had established boundaries, resolving yourself to the simple philosophy of anything you wouldn’t do with Frankie, you wouldn’t do with Ben. 

It was simple… well kind of, every one of your moves was carefully calculated and exhausting.

For example, lying on the couch watching a movie with a leg rub? Acceptable. 

Frankie would do that for your swollen ankle joint, hell, he had done.

However, lying on the couch with his body sandwiched against yours as you fall asleep, the hardness of him pressed into your backside; well… that was quite clearly a no, but I digress! 

Boundaries were established and what almost was, had been completely and totally healthily avoided at all costs, creating the exact tenuous home environment you'd spent so long trying to avoid. 

So, here you found yourself in the food court, slamming some fried chicken trying desperately to forget your woes.

“She’s too clingy…” Santi huffed in between a bite of his burger, talking mostly to Will as you had yet to peak up from behind your bucket. 

“Maybe she just likes you and wants to spend time with you, god forbid someone shows interest.” You grunted irritably between bites, looking for a fight. 

Both men turned to you in surprise, the whites of their eyes visible as they feared your outburst. 

Santiago strategically paused as he searched for the right words before he began to speak again. 

“You’re right … Maybe I’m too harsh.” Pope placated as he fixed you with a look of reproach, however, that only served to enrage you further. 

He watched for your reaction as if you were an angry bear or a child throwing a tantrum. Truth be told, you weren’t strictly unlike either of those things at that precise moment. 

Your brows narrowed, ready to unload and tell him all the reasons he was a dick before a cramping pain in your bloated abdomen overwhelmed you. Your eyes clenched shut as you breathed heavily through your nose, your ringed fingers gripped at the circular table in pain. 

It was impossible for you to judge how long went by before the pain finally passed. 

You took a further second or two to even your breathing before you resumed eating, succinctly dropping the subject that had injected fire into your veins merely moments before. 

With a fry in your mouth, you glanced up to find both men watching you. 

“What the fuck?”

“Are you okay?” They questioned in unison. 

A moment passed as you swallowed your mouthful before you concisely answered your comrades. “I’m pretty sure I’m going into labor.” 

“And … you don’t think we should be actively doing something about that?” Santiago pressed, looking as if he was ready to bolt.

“Labor can take hours and I won't be able to eat once it gets going…” You shrug, picking up another piece of chicken. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Pope breathed, eyes wide before he palmed in his eye sockets in frustration, attempting to rub the stress you induced away.

Will had dragged his chair to your side, his eyes focused on his watch.

“Don’t worry so much… the book said until they're ten minutes apart … there’s no point going …  to the hospital!” You explain in between bites of greasy chicken. 

Your words do little to quell their panic as both men look as if they're ready to pull their hair out with worry. 

“I’ll ring Ben.” Santi groaned as he stood up and reached into his jacket pocket before fishing out his phone. He turned dramatically with a finger pointed in your general direction. “You get her to hurry up - I swear to god, Y/N. If you’re eating when I get back, pregnant or not, I’ll drag you to that car. You’re not having your baby in the damn food court… estúpida, obstinada…” The man continued grunting curses at your expenses as he stalked off for somewhere quiet with cell reception to call the father of your child.

The silence that extended all of three minutes was too good to be true as Will watched your face as you ate for any sign of distress. 

“Whilst giving Pope a coronary is always a good time… don’t you think we should go and get your bag and meet Ben?” Will’s voice was soft, the kind of soothing tone you’d seen him use to talk down shell shocked soldiers - it was both unassuming and laced with copious amounts of compassion. 

You’d be damned if it didn’t just piss you right off. 

With a quick shake of your head, you dropped the empty bone into the bucket with the rest of the carcasses and took a long sip of your drink. 

“I’m good here … I can meet you guys there if you like?”

The pinch in his brow was quite simply incredulous, his concern was quickly outweighing his patience. 

“If you think I’m leaving you both here, you’re insane.”

Chewing on the straw of your drink; your eyes locked with his. They were brimming with a concoction of confusion and concern, which if the clench in his jaw was anything to go by, was slowly morphing into exasperation at your lack of compliance. 

“I … just need some time.”

“Y/N. All you’ve spoken about for the past week is how you want this to be over, wish granted - she’s coming and she’s coming now.”

“That’s what he said…” You uttered half-heartedly under your breath as you broke eye contact, no longer able to face his look of bewilderment. 

On the red tray in front of you was a lemon scented wet wipe hidden among napkins and sauces, you tore open the former and gratuitously began scrubbing the grease off of your hands, actively ignoring the perplexed stare of one of your closest friends. 

“Y/N, we need to get moving… will you just stop and listen?” Will snapped finally as he grabbed the wipe from your grip as you passed over your digits for the third time. 

Your own patience had reached its end as his hand gripped your elbow, his intention to make good on Santiago’s threat and drag you out, clear and present in your mind.

The devil in question was making his way back to your table, all quick strides as he dodged the food courts clientele.

You wrenched your arm from his grip huffing in annoyance at the well meaning Miller. 

“Fine. Let's go and get my bag, maybe we can grab an iced tea on the way to the car…”

Will nodded but you knew the mother hen would never allow a diversion from the mission at hand. 

All was going well. 

You were compliant as you strode through the mall, both men flanking you like a high priority asset as you clambered into Santi’s rental truck.

Hell, you were goddamn amenable as you unlocked your front door and grabbed the hospital duffel bag from the cubby under the stairs. 

However, your cooperation waned somewhat when heading to the maternity ward as  the guys tried to wheel your chair past the hospital's Starbucks. 

Your palm, lightening fast, caught the break on the chair causing it to veer left right into Santiago’s shins.

“Ice Tea!”

“You’ve got a baby about to shoot out of your hoo-hah and you're stopping for tea?!” Santi huffed incredulously as he rubbed his shin.

“My contractions are 25 minutes apart, when they’re 15, I’ll consider joining the panicking cry baby club.” 

“Panicking baby- huh!��� Santi huffed rubbing his forehead. “You are not well, Y/N/N! You’re having a baby - Go and have it and then I’ll bathe you in fucking tea!” 

“I’ll come back down and grab you one-” Will placated before Santi bent to remove the break on the chair, allowing Will to move all of two steps, before you slammed it back on, the rubber tyres screeched against the tile floor of the hospital lobby. 

“Tea. First.” You huffed much like a troublesome child. 

This time it was Will who leaned down to remove the break, having clearly decided you weren’t in your right mind.

So, you did the only thing you could; you threw your baby bag off of your lap. 

“Y/N, stop being a goddamn child!” Will huffed, you had clearly pushed him to the edge, not that it had been particularly hard. 

Ignoring him, you began to stand. They both watched on in horror as you slowly ambled your way to the end of the queue. 

Leaning against the drinks fridge, you sighed. 

Your spine was aching something awful. The poor timing of this kid resumed as a contraction wracked your body, sharper than the others, it felt longer but you had no way to be sure. 

Will was at your side the second it overcame your body.

“Twenty minutes apart, please, Y/N. Come on.”

When finally the pain dissipated, your aching back remained. You weren’t proud of the weight you were placing on Will but the floor was the only other option. 

“y/n?! … Y/N!” You heard Benny hollar before you saw him, his eyes were wild with panic as he rushed to your side. He patted his brother on the shoulder, before taking his place. “Baby, what are you doing? You need to get into bed.”

“I want… my … tea.” You huffed, breathing not yet evening out. 

“Fine, we get the tea and we go straight up. How far apart are they?”

“Twen-”

The gush of amniotic fluid leaving your body cut the older Miller off, soaking through your jeans and unfortunately onto Benny’s shoes.

“You just pissed, she just pissed!” Santi cried in disbelief, his hands an almost permanent fixture in his disheveled curls at this point. It was hard to believe this man was a pressure player.

“It's not piss, it's her waters. We need to go, I’m sorry baby, you can have all the ice tea you want when it's safe for you both.” He bent down and caught your sodden legs, picking you up in one sweep. 

If you weren’t currently covered in amniotic fluid, that story book firefighter carry would have set your loins ablaze. 

Who were you kidding? 

You were absolutely drenched in amniotic fluid and your loins were practically smoking. 

Between writhing in pain as your uterus contracted to eject a literal watermelon and lusting over your baby daddy who you had spent the last eight days practically snarling at every time he dared advance, the journey to your delivery suite had been all but a blur. 

Somehow all three men surrounded you, having coerced their way through the midwifery staff with their nefarious charm. 

“How ya’ doing champ?” Santi questioned as you huffed on the oxygen inhaler handed to you by your midwife. A thumbs up was all you could offer as you groaned through the contractions that were now give or take five minutes apart. 

“How about we use a bit of gravity?” The woman in control of the drugs questioned. A suggestion you were only more than happy to try.

Following her instructions and with minor assistance from Ben you were now on all fours, frantically inhaling the gas and air. 

“We’re going to need to clear the room, anyone who isn’t the father needs to leave.” 

You were so far gone, you didn’t care if they saw the business end of your cervix. All you knew was uncontrollable pain that wracked your body every five minutes like a sadistic egg timer. 

Ben wiped at your forehead with a damp towel as tears escaped. 

“You can do this, baby.”

“UGNGH.. It feels like I’m shitting a knife!” You cried as another contraction wracked your body. 

“Not long now, gorgeous. Then we’ll have our baby.”

“I’m not ready.” You cried burying your face in the reclined back of the bed. You couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“You are-”

“No. We’re not ready. Things were … supposed to be fixed… I promised her.”

“Wha-”

“ you stupid fucking idiot. I want to be with you; I have done for like ten years…  smitten with you from the second I heard your tone deaf ass singing that … crappy hick song on base. Ungh… And everything is so broken because I don’t want you … to just stay for the Bean, I want to be with you … because you want to be with me.” You cried, tears wracking your body as uncontrollably as the contractions.

“It’s all broken… I promised her and I fucked it all up. You … and Jaz can just live happily ever-” You cut yourself off with a low wail as another contraction wracked your body. It seemed to knock Benny out of his stupor as his hand rubbed your lower back.

It was a moment before you leveled out and remembered you were divulging your innermost thoughts but a moment ago, though you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

Bigger fish to fry, and all that.

“I adore you, even if you are the goddamn most stubborn fuckin’ idiot I’ve ever met. You're the mother of my baby, yeah. It scares the crap outta me. Caring for you. Damn near spent three months thinking up all the reasons we couldn’t be together cause it scared me so bad.” He huffed, stroking your hair. He helped you reposition on your back, as you breathed in another wave of oxygen. “I- I don’t do this. I don’t do relationships … because this feeling in my stomach when I think of you is fuckin awful. Sure I get the tingles when you smile at me or stroke my arm. But ninety-nine percent of the time, fucking nightmare, I worry if you’re happy, if you’ve eaten and now we’re adding an whole ass entire other person into this fucking clown show.”

“Gee… thanks.” You huffed in between breaths of gas and air. 

Ben chuckled as he pushed the sweat sodden hair back from your brow. He leaned forward, pressing his mouth against yours, the kiss was brief and nowhere near what was needed but it was all you could manage. 

It was enough, you thought at that moment.

The promise, that everything wasn’t lost, there was hope ahead, it carried you through.

Life in the past 48 hours had been… surreal. 

You had confessed your feelings for your baby daddy and then found out that he reciprocated those feelings all before doing the equivalent of pushing a grape out of your nostril.

A baby.

A gorgeous baby girl. 

Gorgeous didn’t quite cover it, yet finding a word that described the transcendent beauty of the soul you’d brought forth into this world escaped you, as did a name for the said beauty. 

For the time being the angel made human was currently known as TBD or more affectionately Tee. The two of you had been trying out names but a new baby and totally requited feelings didn't automatically cancel out a life-time of bickering. 

Your problem was there wasn’t a name you’d heard that actually sounded like her and Ben, god love him, had a habit of picking names from a nursing homes register; Ethel, Millicent, Edith - I could go on.

He liked old fashioned names, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though it didn’t lend itself to easy compromise. 

So, Tee, she remained with test names thrown in sporadically with hopes that a winner would stick, ideally before her 18th Birthday.  

Whilst the name vetoing annoyed the hell out of you there wasn’t any real friction. The name discussion never became heated, if a name was vetoed you moved on to the next accepting the decision of the other person. 

It was a healthy co-parenting dream. 

Despite the pending conversation that loomed over you both, things weren’t awkward - quite simply because you didn’t have the time for it to be!

Mia (Nah) didn’t leave you much time for it. 

Whilst she was a dream for sleeping, the time afforded to you both was spent sleeping or preparing the house for her awakening. She was beautiful, but exhausting - a lot like her father.

So it only made sense that when you got your first minute of peace,  after a long nap, now in your own bed and fresh pajamas; that the innermost workings of your heart would come to the surface. 

To the backing track of Modern Family, you planned and plotted your conversation word for word. Time allowed for dramatic pauses and longing gazes were of course included. When you began planning his lines you realized enough was enough and rose from your bed. 

Sure, after looking in the mirror, you’d had better days for your self confidence - ones where you weren’t rocking an adult nappy. But beggars couldn't be choosers and if you let it run in circles anymore you were afraid your brain would just combust.

There was a huge part of you that was excited after all this was years in the making, but then that small, human part of you was screaming at you to temper your expectations. 

How often does someone get everything they want? When did your life become a fairy tale? 

You didn’t think Benny would flat out turn you down, but what if he couldn’t live up to what had been in your head. 

For the first time, in a long time, you decided to ignore your brain - self preservation be damned. 

With a turn on your heel in a matching silk pajama set and a goddamn adult nappy you proudly began your descent down the stairs. 

Nothing could’ve prepared you for when you rounded the corner. 

There on the sofa he lay, utterly shirtless. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him like this, in fact you’d actively avoided his fights after you had ‘broken up’ for this very reason because one look at those rippling shoulders would’ve tanked any remaining resolve or feminism left in your body. 

It would also be remiss to add that your daughter lay on his chest for what you assume was skin-to-skin time. Somehow, it both melted your heart and stoked a fire within you - having a child was strange. Since when was being a good Father a kink for you? 

“Pssst.” You whispered under your breath, trying to get his attention without waking the bean. It took another two tries before he finally looked up confused and then fixed you with that beaming smile.

“Well… good mornin’, Mama.” His voice was deep from lack of use and he looked utterly exhausted yet his smile was as big as ever.

You couldn’t help your own grin at his words as you pressed your attack and kneeled at his side. For a moment your hand stroked at the valley of her spine, before your palm came to rest on his bare shoulder.

How the hell could two people so clueless make something so absolutely perfect?

After a moment or two spent lost in pure adoration you lifted your gaze to Ben. His eyes hadn’t left your face since he became aware of your presence. 

You couldn’t help it.

Now was the time for words not for actions that had made this hole you were currently buried in, and yet …

You let yourself get lost in those eyes and pressed your lips against his. 

It was soft. 

Softer than anything the two of you had ever known. 

Neither one of you pushed for more, you simply indulged in the closeness that had been hard won to come so easily. The hand not cradling your daughter to his chest, rose to hug your cheek as you parted. 

“Where did that come from?”

“I’ve been meaning to do it since the hospital, but the nap helped me put my ducks in a row, I guess.”

Benny rose into a sitting position, slowly, mindful of the sleeping infant on his chest. 

He laid her in the moses basket at the foot of the sofa and pressed the white noise machine. Mozart began playing softly, lulling her into a deeper sleep.

Finally, Benny turned back to you, his eyes serious. “I wasn’t sure if you regretted saying what you did… if it was the heat of the moment… y’know the fear.”

You contemplated for a single moment.

“I meant every word.”

The problem with you and Benn had always been that you both approached your relationship with one foot out the door, whoever cared the least won. It was the way you both protected yourself.

It was only now you were realizing the commitment issues had gone both ways, for a time at least. It was easier if you played with no skin in the game, there was nothing to lose. But now, you had everything to lose and you didn’t want to waste a single moment playing the stupid games you’d wasted so many years of your life devoted to.

“Every word?”

“Every. Single. One. Especially the ones about your lame singing.” You couldn’t help your grin that snuck out as you teased him. 

“Lame? I’m sorry it's that gruff, sexy singing that made your ass crush on me.”

“God. I wish I could take it all back, but I do Benny, I fucking adore you.”

All through your back and forth he’d been advancing. It was as if your words prompted him to pounce. His hands were planted on your cheeks, as he gave you a part of himself in an all consuming kiss. 

It was like he was trying to explain all his feelings, all the hurt and frustration and affection he’d felt in one kiss.

As his tongue brushed yours and his hands trailed the sides of your body to pull you against him, your hands found his shoulders as you attempted to pull him closer, as if that was even possible. 

The two of you had been at war for so long, so afraid to give eachother any part of yourself. The air was thick with emotion, your hormones were all over the place as tears began to leak from your eyes. 

Relief, joy, lo- you couldn’t name the emotion entirely but it was some combination. With your kisses you promised to start anew, to fix what was broken and forget all the hurt you had caused one another.  

You were going to do your best for her, for your Joy.

Unable to stop yourself, you grabbed at the waistband of his sweats, finding the warm skin of his toned stomach. That seemed to bring him back to reality as he grabbed your hands and placed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily through his nose in what you assumed was an attempt to gather his self control. 

“Angel, you’re gonna start something you can’t finish, by my reckon… for at least 6 weeks.” 

“Let me take care of you.” You breathed, dropping your kisses lower to his neck. 

 “No, baby. We’re doing this right. I’m not gonna cum in your mouth and then leave you to carry on with your day aching in both ways - at least not till you can return the favor in mine.” He kissed your forehead chastely, as if he hadn’t just promised to eat you out the second your pussy was healed. 

“Benny.” You whined.

“I don’t care Y/N. We’re doing this right, I’ve fucked this up too many times.”

“I guess 6 weeks isn’t too long… right?”

WRONG.

Four Weeks Later

The two of you had come in leaps and bounds in your communication and you were striving towards a healthy relationship.

Hell, the two of you had been on about five PG-13 dates. Sure, it was slowly killing you, the lack of physical contact below the belt, but the two of you were getting to know each other as a romantic partner instead of a best friend that occasionally rides him in his truck.

It was good, going back over the steps the two of you had missed. Your injured vagina was allowing you to take it slow, something you and Benny sorely needed the second time round.

Though, it was still Benny. So he constantly teetered on the edge of gentlemanly courtship as he caressed the meat of your thigh as the two of you sat closely in a booth; and you loved it. 

All in all, it was kinda perfect.

So it was fitting that your perfect life shattered around you on a random Saturday morning.

“Sure Jaz, I’ll meet you at 11…. Okay, see you soon.” You heard from the man currently cradling your daughter in his arms as he gave her a bottle.

God, you wished you had more faith in your shiny new relationship, that you didn’t immediately jump to anger. 

Alas, rage was an old ally and you leapt into his eagerly awaiting arms. 

Every single doubt and unfair suspicion raised to your tongue as he turned to face you. He fixed you with an easy smile, clearly none-the wiser about the eye of the storm he was currently wandering into.

“Ben... I’ve gotta’ ask. It's been weighing on me for months… but who the fuck is Jaz?”

He blanched, his eyes looking down to your daughter as if she at 4 weeks old was capable of critical thinking. It clearly wasn’t what he was expecting when it left your mouth. He looked… somewhere between embarrassed and guilty.

It was then your eye caught the bottles that hadn’t been rinsed. They were abandoned on the marble, left to sour. That all but sealed his fate.

Sure, if you weren’t actively plotting his and his secret girlfriend's demise, you may not have overreacted. But in that solitary, ugly moment, that basic lack of regard he held for you and your relationship was encapsulated by his inability to complete the singular god forsaken chore that was his. 

The guy didn’t have a chance to respond before you were at the sink filling the washing up bowl with foamy water. The aroma of sour milk as you unscrewed the bottle lids only served to stoke your fires as you all but threw the stinking bottles in the water, splashing yourself with suds as you did.

“Do I have to do everything?!” 

“Y/N…”

“Sometimes, Ben…” 

“What the fuck - can we just rewind or can you explain what exactly it is you think i’ve done?!” He is incredulous as he places your daughter in her soothing swing chair, his arms now raising in surrender. 

“You need me to explain?” You huff, stoney in disbelief at his gall. 

“For god sake Y/N… leave them, I’m gonna get to them after this one.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve learnt not to believe you when you say things and do the complete opposite…”

“Do the complete opposite?” You heard clear as day the anger building in his voice. “If you wanna say something, then fucking say it!”

“FINE! I’ll say it! “ You slammed the last bottle in the bowl and turned round, wiping your hands on a tea towel as you fixed your gaze on him. “I thought you were happy taking it slow, I thought you wanted to be with me. But no, Jaz. AGAIN..”

He let out a light laugh, one that held no humor. “Christ sakes, Y/N - Jaz is a client! - I’m a fuckin’ personal trainer!”

“SHE’S- Oh-”

“Yeah - Oh.” His arms were crossed across his chest and his eyes had hardened.

“I - I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“To go from a soldier, to a fighter, to a glorified crossfit instructor …  just a little humiliating, Y/N.” His voice was flat and dejected as he spoke. 

At that moment, you were utterly ashamed.

“Ben… I am so -”

“Yeah. You’re sorry. But that's the thing, no matter how much I apologize or tell you how I feel about you, it's never enough. Y/N why are we even bothering when you clearly still don’t trust me.”

“Ben, I-”

“No, Y/N. It's not fair. I’ve been a good Dad and to be completely honest I’ve been a pretty stellar boyfriend, and yet all I get from you is fuckin’ accusations!” 

You hadn’t seen Benny this angry outside of the of the ring in a long fucking time. Yet you weren’t afraid of him as he came to stand before you, you knew Ben.  

“I can’t do this. Not if you’re gonna hold on to every doubt you have about me and whip them out every time I do something to piss you off, I’m not perfect Y/N.”

“I’m trying… Ben it’s not-”

“No. Listen, I told you. I told you how hard this was for me.” He stood before you, his shoulders sagged in defeat as his eyes shone with unshed tears. “I fucking poured my heart out to you, baby. I only want you and if you can’t trust that, then this isn’t going to work out and we need to stop and just be parents, because I’m not gonna live my life like this - instantly guilty for whatever shit your head dreams up for me.” 

He picked up his cap from the dining room table and bent down to place a kiss on your sleeping daughter's forehead before he swiped his hair back from his face and placed the cap on top.  Your fingers were aching from the grip you had on the counter.

“Well, I'm going to have some adulterous sex with my side piece Jasmine. Then I might swing by Flanagan’s on my way home for a threesome with an old flame. Who knows might make it a goddamn foursome!” Benny strolled out, he didn’t slam a single door. Always conscientious of the baby.

Goddamn you felt like shit.

It was hard to admit that you were wrong. 

All joking aside, you weren’t used to it. You never went into battle half cocked, which meant all arguments were mentally vetted before you championed a cause. But no matter how you sliced it, this time you were unequivocally wrong.

You had come at him with such anger. God, you should’ve just calmly asked him who Jasmine was. Why did you automatically assume the worst?

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda - Didn’t do any good now.

Simply put, you had been a dick, to a man who had been nothing short of amazing to you. 

It was as you stood frozen leaning against the counter top that you began to realize you’d never fully forgiven Ben for what happened a year ago. The toll that had taken on your self worth and your confidence.

It wasn’t his fault, not really. You had promised yourself when starting this back up you’d forgive everything from the past, but you supposed that was hard when he’d never really apologized. 

That was petty, you reasoned.  

You knew he was sorry. 

The two of you had jumped straight back into dating, deciding to try and have the perfect romance without the deep connection which came from talking through the nitty gritty. All because the truth of the matter was;  feelings made you both uncomfortable.

So you avoided talking about them at all costs, hell you'd been in active labour before you'd been able to bare your soul to him.

So, how could you be so surprised when it bubbled up in these ugly ways?

Deciding to resolve these difficult thoughts with Benny when or if he returned, eased the ache within yourself a tiny bit.   

Placing the baby monitor beside your sleeping daughter you decided to prepare yourself for that conversation. 

You made it through one life affirming shower and half of your skincare routine before her wails demanded your presence. 

“Mommy’s coming baby.” You spoke through the monitor using it as a walkie talkie. It was hard not to flash back to your service days as you used it. You were half way down the stairs reminiscing on the good ole days when you weren’t a complete asshole, when you heard a male voice whispering to Tee on the monitor. 

It was instinctual; you didn’t even think, you just moved, taking the stairs two at a time, stopping only to grab a weapon or, as it is more commonly known as, a broom.  

“GET AWAY FROM HER, ASSHOLE.” You wielded the broom like a hockey stick ready to swing on the assailant. As you rounded the corner and were stupefied to find Benny there with your daughter, his eyes wide as you entered the room ready to assault him.

“Y/N?!”

“BENNY. OH MY CHRIST. I thought - “ In a single moment you instantly drop the broom and grab your baby from his arms, planting kisses all over her face and head. 

“Oh my god, you scared mommy, Tee. Yes you did. My heart, oh fucking christ. I didn’t expect you back.”

“What can I say - I didn't fancy the orgy today.”

“Daddy’s very funny, Sienna.”

“Sienna… Sienna Miller?” Benny narrows his eyes over the top of his Starbucks takeout cup.  

“Veto.” You both say in unison despite your argument. 

Tee whined in your arms, amping up for a wail.

“She didn’t finish her bottle before she fell asleep earlier.” Ben pointed out to the half empty bottle waiting to be washed up. Your stomach dropped at the mere sight of the cause of your hissy fit earlier.

“Are you hungry, beautiful girl?” You crooned to your baby after a pause. Adjusting the robe you had thrown on after your shower. “I’ll feed her and then we can talk?”

He nodded, his face giving nothing away. It was strange to be stonewalled by Ben. Usually every thought that crossed his mind was mirrored on his face. 

Taking a seat in the love chair you’d set up in the lounge for this exact purpose you exposed your breast. You had been doing a half breast half formula feeding pattern so that Ben could pitch in.

She latched on quickly, but never as quickly as she did the bottle. A tiny part of you was disappointed, as you’d always had images of breastfeeding your child. But with a low milk supply you’d had little option but to supplement with bottles, but beyond the bonding aspect you had no qualms with the bottle.

Tee was slowly falling asleep as she drank and after about five minutes she was gone to the world. 

Feeling guilty all while, you held her to your chest after rearranging your robe. You should be speaking to Benny about your regrettable words earlier and yet you couldn’t force your legs to move. Telling someone you had been a complete dick wasn’t a fun thing to do.

So it made sense after about ten minutes of hiding that Benny appeared with the moses basket in toe for your sleeping angel. 

You nodded thankfully and silently you handed her off to him, making sure that your entire chest was covered. 

He placed her in the far corner of the room, far enough away that your voices - if they were kept below a shout - wouldn’t wake her.

He took a seat to your right, there was about a meter between you. It was all so stiff, like a business meeting as you each waited for the other to speak. 

“So.” He muttered avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll start. I’m sorry Ben. You didn’t deserve that.” His eyes rose to meet yours. “I want this to work. I meant it, I want to leave it all behind and I thought I could - just forget everything, I mean. But I can’t. I think, well, I think we need to talk about it.”

“Y/N-”

“No, Ben, please. I’ve thought about this for like twenty minutes in the shower.” You left your seat to sit beside him. “I know you don’t like… feelings. I don’t either, it's awkward. But, I need to get through this to get over it, y’know?” 

“I think I do.” He nodded.  You took his hand in yours. 

“I’m not making excuses, I’m sorry I lost my shit this morning. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. When I heard her name, I was right back there. Pregnant and alone and just completely unsure about everything; infatuated with a guy who I didn’t think felt the same. It was terrifying … And I’ve never told you that. It messed with my head everything that happened last year.”

“Right back where?... When you heard her name?”

“At the baby shower.”

“Oh Y/N, you should've asked!”

“Why? We weren’t together.”

“I started as a PT about a month after Christmas. After I found out and the hospital - It's a hell of a lot safer and the pay’s more steady. I’m still training with Will but the fights are gonna’ be … fewer. I wanna be around.” His hand clutched in yours tightened his thumb on your fingers forcing you to look up.

“You’re such a good Dad. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t” Your hand rose to his face. 

“I am so sorry. I haven’t said it have I? But I am. That night you told me you wanted more and I shut you down, I broke your heart. I don’t want anyone else, only you. I need you to hear me.”

“I do Ben, I do.”

“No, Y/N. I want you to be my wife, I want you to have more of my babies. You’re the only one for me, I think of you when I wake up, before I go to sleep - there hasn’t been a day in the past ten years I haven’t thought about you. I will never hurt you like that again, I fucking promise you.”

Tears sprung to your eyes as your heart began to heal, it felt so full as you sat beside him basking in his words.

“I fucking dig you Benny.” You grabbed his cheeks pulling him into a kiss. It started off lighter before it began to deepen. 

Teasingly you flicked your tongue against his gaining access, biting his lip you pulled yourself onto his lap to get a better angle on your exploration of his mouth. Through his jeans you felt him begin to swell as he pressed against the linen of your robe. 

It had only been three weeks, but you were desperate for him to be inside you. Compromise was the name of the game.  

He pulled away from your mouth, which you were fine with, you knew the words about to leave his lips. Which is why you decided to be persuasive as you trailed kisses down his neck. 

“Baby, no, you’ve only just had a baby, c’mon.”

Smothering kisses against his warm skin, he smelled deliciously of the Calvin Klein aftershave he always spritzed on before leaving the house. You moved your hips against his, which prompted him to grab them. His large hands splayed across your ass, holding you still as he attempted to maintain some semblance of self control.

“You can’t go inside, but we can still have fun.” You whispered into his neck. “Besides, you’re the injured party, I have an apology to make.”

“Well…” He moaned as you playfully bit at his warm flesh “You were mean as hell, baby.”

With Benjamin's help you shrugged the linen dressing gown from your shoulders. Instantly you were completely exposed before him.  His eyes zeroed in on your swollen breasts, sure he’d seen them in passing but never so freely exposed and at eye level. 

Hands gentle as always rose to cup them. Those gorgeous fingers skirted around your nipples making your hips rut down against his hardened member. 

“Sensitive.” You explained before he placed kisses on them. He kissed along the underside of your breast before lathering his tongue around your nipples. His gaze lowered and his palms skirted along your sides before they landed on your ass. 

You couldn’t help your self consciousness, the last time this man had seen you naked you’d been a size Y/S. Now you had some fresh stretch marks and a stomach still swollen from your child. 

However, all your self consciousness went out the window the second he squeezed at the meat there and pulled you down against his jeans, his hips thrusted up in time, almost unintentionally. 

The fabric was causing some delicious friction against your clit, yet you wanted more. 

“Is this okay, you’re not in pain?” He asked resting his forehead against yours.

You kissed his lips as you held onto his jaw.

“No. I want more.”

“You can’t have more, your sweet pussy needs more time before I ruin it.” He smirked before claiming your mouth with his tongue, putting all his filthy promises behind it.

“No, but you can.” You leaned backwards and began to undo his zipper. His hands came up to stop you before he remembered your words from earlier. 

Finally, you set him free. He was bigger than you remembered, straining up against Ben’s belly. You couldn't resist as you rubbed your bare heat against him. You were sopping as his cock came away wet. 

Benny groaned, one hand squeezing the meat of your ass and the other staying firmly on your hip, just in case you tried something. You grabbed his chin, joining your mouths in a deep kiss, once more you dropped your hips, your clit bumping against the head of his cock in the most delicious way before you slid along his shaft. 

Once again he groaned, this time into your mouth which you greedily swallowed up. Playfully you bit at his lip, touching your tongue once more to his just to give him a preview of how talented it could be.  

He began to help you as he pushed his jeans further down his thighs frantically as you moved off of his lap and fell onto your knees between his legs. 

Your mouth watered as you stared at his pulsing cock, now covered in your own wetness.  You couldn’t help a smirk as his head dropped back on the couch as he tried to give you space to work. 

Slowly, playfully almost, you stroked his length and you couldn't help a small smirk as his hips thrusted into your palm.  Right where you wanted him, he was fighting a losing battle of control.

With no warning you leaned down and swiped your quick tongue along the head of his cock. If the groans had added to the flood below the belt, the broken call of your name had you practically gushing. 

Leaning forward to get a better vantage, you sneakily pressed your heel into your clit. It alleviated some of the pressure but nowhere near enough. 

All at once you took his length into your mouth, his cry was absolutely gorgeous as he grabbed at his own thigh. 

Your tongue lathered the veins that hid on the underside of his cock. It was wet and messy and he was quickly falling apart in your mouth. 

He was fighting the urge to fuck your mouth as he gripped at his thighs in solidarity, you wanted him to bruise the back of your throat with his thrusts.

You reached up and grabbed his hand, currently grabbing at his thigh and placed it into your hair. It was an open invitation, to let himself go. To stop being so polite and sorry, to go back to fucking you the way he used to.

It was an invited he RSVP’ed immediately.  His hands immediately began guiding your face up and down his cock, pushing your face down so that the head of his dick nudged the back of your throat. 

Your gag constricted around his cock which made his head roll back in pleasure.  His hand loosened its hold on your hair, almost asking permission. 

With a roll off your eyes you dropped your head harder than he had, his cock was practically in your esophagus, but it showed him you could take it. 

“Yes, baby. Fuck - you suck cock so good.”   

Unable to help it you grinded against your heel, desperate for the sweet relief of his touch, but unable to receive it.

You noticed the pressure building as his stomach began taut as he continued fucking your face. 

Taking back control, your hands found his balls and rolled them between your fingers caused him to groan as that pressure increased.

“Fuck baby, I’m gonna-” His cry was all you needed as you as you took his entire length in your mouth. You fought the urge to gag as you reminded yourself to breathe through your nose. His come spurted hotly down your throat as you swallowed every damn drop of it. 

“Everything is looking good - your perineum has healed very nicely.” Dr Clarke announced from her sensitive position between your stirruped knees. The doctor pushed herself back on her rolling stool as she began to remove her gloves to dispose of them before she turned to you with a cheerful smile. “I’m happy to sign you off with a clean bill of health, Y/N.”

You couldn’t help but to return her infectious grin after, of course, you lifted your legs from the stirrups to allow for a smidge more dignity. 

“So… Sex? I’m all good?”

“Yes, Y/N, you’re all cleared for sex. It's been seven weeks since your labour and everything looks good, no pain. Obviously if that changes during and you get any red discharge, well, just make sure you keep an eye on it and get in touch if anything worries you. ”

That was two hours ago and you weren’t ashamed to admit you were already in the middle of an everything bath. Every surface of your body was buffed smooth and slowly being moisturised by the bath bomb fizzing away. 

A glass of red wine sat on the ledge, as you lay back basking in the candle light despite it being midday. 

Tonight was the night. For weeks on end you had fallen asleep aching and whilst clitorial stimulation was a powerful thing, nothing could replace that beautiful cock inside of you, stretching you to your limit making you cry for… Ahem. 

It had been a somewhat gradual development over the past six weeks; your transformation into a teenage boy with uncontrollably raging hormones. 

 The deprivation had amounted in essence to a month and half of edging and you were one bad afternoon away from mounting Ben’s leg like a bitch in heat.

Benny was resolute in his decision and had apparently saint-like (read as masochistic) restraint and would not go any further until he had confirmation from your doctor that it was safe, nevermind that you were a highly trained combat medic who knew her own body. 

Despite his refusal to go past third base, the two of you had become reacquainted in your dating period, he’d been at the back of your throat more nights than you could count and you were so desperate to feel him inside you again.

Sure, you’d come more times than you could count in the past two weeks - Benny ate pussy like the fucking champ he was. The man had made you come on his tongue three times in one night and yet when you fell asleep wrapped in his arms, your insides felt hollow. 

It was like having a prime rib in front of you and only being able to eat the french fries. Sure, they were salty and delicious but they didn’t fill you up quite the same way.

So, when you heard the front door open downstairs you were elated. 

The pounding of Benny's feet as he took the steps two at a time was music to your ears and your good mood continued as after a minute of searching for you he began to open the bathroom door. 

There he found you in a bath full of bubbles, in what you hoped was a seductive pose with your elbows poised on the tub - your collar bones were popping in the very least.

“Well.. hello.” Benny gave you a sleazy smirk as he advanced. Leaning over the bath to greet you with a deep kiss. And boy, was it deep - you could taste his coffee order on his tongue as it swept leisurely against your own. When he had finally had his fill, he pulled back if only slightly, resting his forehead against yours and  crouching next to the tub.

“You look like a goddamn angel.” He whispered, running a thumb down your spine gently caressing every sud covered joint. “All good at the docs? Everything where it should be?”

“She gave me a clean bill of health.” You tell him, slightly disappointed with the mood change but as always overwhelmed by the concern he held for you.

“You tell her about your ankles?”

“Please, Ben. Let's not talk about my swollen ankles, right now.” You wrapped your wet arms around his neck and pulled him forward with every intention of having him join you in the tub.

“Woah, tiger. Did you forget? It’s Santiago’s Bon Voyage party! He’s waiting downstairs with Mag’s.” He grinned as he pulled away, training sweats now covered in bubbles. 

Unable to stop yourself, you pouted. “Ben, if we had a party every time that man leaves the US we’d never stop being drunk. Come join me, please?” Ben’s brows furrowed for a moment and you dared to believe you'd won before a second, much more annoying voice, chimed in from the hallway.

“Now that is hurtful mi corazón!”

Benny chuckled as you rolled your eyes. He used your momentary distraction to pull away, stood to his full height and turned the bathroom lights on.

“You ruined my bath.” You sighed as you pulled yourself up and turned on the shower to rinse yourself. “I had so many juicy scenarios of us, that funnily enough all ended with you soapy and glistening.” 

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you tell me about them?” Benny smirks as he begins shaving. 

“You're really not gonna join me?” You pout yet again.

“Baby, if I go anywhere near you whilst your tits look like that, I won’t leave this house tonight.” 

It's the eye contact that gets you, it makes your knees weak and that near constant ache flare up. With a huff you shut the water off, you were slow as you climbed out of the bath, in part because you didn’t want to slip and die, the other; a seductive dance. 

Benny was doing his best to ignore you and stick to his task, though you could see his eyes follow you in the mirror, especially as your breasts bounced as you hopped your leg out of the tub. 

Granted, not quite as graceful as you imagined, yet it didn’t seem to matter to him one iota. 

Slowly, with the towel as a prop you took your time to dry off, you ran it along every inch of your entirely exposed flesh, watching as his enraptured eyes followed its path. 

Completely unable to help yourself, you leaned forward, pressing your bare breasts up against his arm. Your hands wrapped around the long bottle of cocoa butter as you backed away innocently. 

As you were yet to get a rise out of him, you decided to raise the stakes in an all out act of war. Under the guise of hanging your towel up on the rack beside the bath, you turned on your heel. 

With your back now exposed to him, in one fluid movement you bent at the waist, exposing everything to the father of your child. 

It was a cruel wanton decision. 

At his inhale, you knew you’d met your mark, so, as if you weren’t currently splayed out showing him your pussy, you began rubbing your cocoa butter into your newly smooth legs despite the less than ideal position for lotioning.

Once your legs were thoroughly lotioned, you looked over your shoulder to see Benny’s eyes trained on your exposed pussy, almost salivating at your incorrigible offering.  

A part of you was happy, he was finally feeling what you had been non-stop for three months. 

With that thought in mind, your brain cooked up a delicious little plan. 

Benny, as unrestrained as you currently were, driven to the edge over and over unable to tumble the precipice. He’d be an animal. The one he usually reserved for the fights. The ravaging wouldn’t quite be the love making he wanted but it would soothe the ache deep inside you.

Utterly resolved, you stood back up. You moved the bottle from palm to palm, suggestively stroking the phallic shape. He was completely entranced in your seduction, you were half convinced he’d completely forgotten Santiago's name as he watched your every movement with lust laden eyes.

As you reached across like before and your erect nipple brushed his bare arm, he turned to you. You placed the bottle back in its spot before you looked up at him. 

“Ooh Baby,  you cut yourself,” Slowly, all whilst maintaining eye contact your tongue brushed the pad of your thumb. Rising up on your tippy toes, your nipples barely brushing against his t-shirt clad chest, you wiped the line of blood from his chin. “Careful, love. I don’t want my seat to be hacked to pieces for later.”

Benny was, to put it lightly, stunned. 

It was fair to say, Benjamin had always been the aggressor in your encounters. 

It wasn’t so much that you were shy around the topic of sex, it was just that Benny was so outgoing. He told you what he wanted, not with words so much but with his body - that wasn’t to say that he didn’t have a dirty mouth to boot, but he was always the first to make a move and you liked it that way. 

This new desperate need had bought out a side of you neither had seen before and if the jostled mess of a Miller you left in your wake was any indication, you both liked it. 

Unfortunately instead of being pounded into your head board until you couldn’t walk straight as you should by all rights currently be doing, you were sat in Will’s lounge nursing your third glass of merlot openly eye fucking the father of your child.

In your defence, you had not hidden your desire to leave and for the most part everyone was pretty understanding, except for Benny. 

Who refused to leave or acknowledge you.

You were frustrated - no - you had passed frustrated two weeks ago;  you were furious. 

It had been three hours, you’d made the small talk, your daughter had been paraded around her doting uncles and the party herd had thinned to your inner circle. 

You loved Santiago so much, but even he understood; a girls gotta eat.

Consider it a by-product of three months of edging or maybe it was just plain childish revenge but his refusal to leave made you want for him to feel as desperate and as needy as you had been.

So, you constructed your three point plan. 

Turn him on

Leave him wanting more

Reap the benefits

It wasn’t a difficult plan, sure.

In theory giving the father of your child blue balls was pretty straight forward, but it was complicated when he was very deliberately avoiding looking your way; It seemed you’d made quite the impression in the bathroom. 

A burst of feminine pride overtook you at the thought of that and it gave you the courage for your first step. 

Eavesdropping, you joined Val and Santi’s conversation by the wine table. You were in the direct eye line of Benny, where he was currently talking with Frankie, Will and would you believe it-  Jen from Christmas! 

(It seemed like they had a cute little ‘will they/won’t they’ thing going on and you were here for it. )

As you filled your glass with the dregs of the bottle you joined their conversation, it was about Santi’s plans in Australia. Now you didn’t believe the majority of them as he used the word retire about six times, but you were happy he was happy, and that was enough. 

You’d almost forgotten your plan as you laughed with your friends, gossiping about Will and Jen.  

“I really hope they make it this time.” Val sighed heavily to the two of you. “She makes him so happy. It’s nice to see him smile!”

“I’m sure they will, they keep finding their way back to one another.” You added. 

“Plus, she’s great in bed.” Both women fixed Santi with a glare, he had the wrong crowd. “Will. Will told me she’s great in bed. Ladies, ladies - I would never do that to my boy.”

Rolling your eyes at your friend's joke, you surveyed the room. 

Ben still wouldn’t look your way and you felt that was unlikely to change any time soon. You were racking your brain for ideas on how to wind him up and short of a bend and snap you were coming up empty. 

At least, that was, until you saw the table.

You see, Marianna had a multipack of suckers, open on the coffee table in front of the couch she was currently watching her iPad on. 

Abandoning your glass of wine after politely excusing yourself, you took one and sat beside the child who paid you very little heed as you plopped down.  

Unwrapping a strawberry flavoured pop, you brought it to your lips. 

Benny was deliberate in his avoidance of eye contact, however, your eyes must have burnt a hole in his head as finally his eyes swept to the right, almost as a scan of the perimeter. They caught your own and the image you must have painted… your lips were slick with saliva and strawberry syrup. 

Your tongue wantonly ran along the pop whilst you maintained your very best bedroom eyes, it was difficult to do whilst also making sure Marianna never looked your way. 

A good thing too because you wouldn't be able to cover the fee of therapy for the young girl.

Slowly you placed the lollipop back in your mouth, wetting it once again with your tongue. As you pulled it back out you made sure your lips dragged along the surface. 

Benny stared at you as if you were prey, his hands tightened on his beer bottle as his chest moved in heavy deliberate breaths. 

Your pièce de résistance to bring it home is when you stuck your tongue out and bobbed it across. It was positively vulgar the way your spit dragged behind the ball, but Benny was mesmerised, which just so happened to draw Will and Jen’s attention. 

Very quickly your tongue was back in your mouth and your lollipop was resting on the inside of your cheek.

“Really, Y/N? You’re a mother and Mari’s right there!” Will huffed with your daughter in his arms, before he turned back to Ben.  “Seriously Ben-” 

Happy with your display you turned to Marianna, wrapping an arm around her. “What we watchin’?” 

Will had gone back to fawning over Maggie and Benny’s eyes strayed your way once more.  You shot a second wink at the man who had driven you to this insanity, deciding to be kind - well, kinda - You removed the pop from your mouth and with one clean swipe, licked all of the strawberry residue from your lips and promptly placed the lollipop between your molars and bit down, cleaving the treat in two. You couldn’t resist smiling innocently as you chobbled the hard candy, you couldn’t help the pride you felt as he discreetly attempted to rearrange his trousers. 

After being caught by Will and catching up with Marianna on the goings on of JoJo Siwia you headed over to Val, Santi and Jen with every intention of saving the new arrival. 

However your journey across the room was interrupted by Margaret and it wasn’t truly until you raced over to comfort your crying daughter that you came to the realisation that the man you loved was a monster. 

You were at Frankie’s side after a mere moment, her wails pierced your soul. 

“I think she's hungry.” Frank murmured whilst stroking her head and whispering in Spanish that was both too quick and quiet for you to make out, however Margaret’s cries had died down into whines. “Bottles in the bag?” 

“I think Ben left it out in the hall. You good with her?” You smile gratefully when he didn’t dignify it with a response, only cradling her closer and whilst patting her nappy clad butt rhythmically. 

You were in the coat cupboard under the stairs, searching through the coats and bags as you whispered distractedly to yourself. “Where’s your daddy put the diaper bag, Mags?��

The door creaked closed behind you, curious, you turned towards the noise and before your brain could even process the fact it was a trap, Benny had you pinned up against the wall with a hand over your mouth. 

A coat hook dug into your L3 yet as he pushed his hardened cock against your thigh; you can’t find it in you to care.

“What you did in the bathroom was mean. What you did with the lollipop was even meaner. Now I’ve gotta’ be the meanest and you don’t know how much I wanna take you home and-” He grunted into your neck.

“Mggie-mmmhgry–” You interrupted beneath his hand. He released your mouth and you repeated. “Maggie’s hungry.”

Benny ignored you entirely and began devouring your low neckline. “I was in the kitchen making her a bottle, mama.”

“God-” Your eyes clenched shut as his mouth explored the expanse of your throat “You’re such a good daddy, baby.” 

He goes rigid. 

For a solitary moment, you’re not sure if it's a good rigid or a bad one. 

Then he bit your lip. 

“Oh. You like it when I call you Daddy?” You whispered, pulling away from his mouth for a moment, before you joined your lips again. You had begun grinding your thigh into his bulge, phase one of your plan. 

In between hot kisses, you reached down and undid his trouser button. Your hand was sliding into his pants and wrapped around his member before he even knew what was happening. You had switched positions, now his back was up against the opposite wall and you were in control. 

Benny’s head fell back as you teased him. You dropped your mouth to his neck, kissing and biting the chorded muscle there as he rested his head. Eyes squeezed shut as he wrestled for control. 

His gasps were completely wrecked. Part of you felt vindicated; he now knew what you had suffered for the past few weeks. The desperate need for release. 

Benny sounded insanely close already just from a dry handjob in his brother's coat closet. You almost felt bad when, alas, just like that, you pulled your palm away.

“Y/N?” His voice was dazed as his eyes opened and his breathing remained ragged.

“It was a real dick move making us stay so long.” You pouted angrily, though there was no real heat behind your words as your body stayed pressed against his. “You don’t even know how wet I’ve been for the past five hours,”

Taking his strong lithe hands in yours - one of your favourite parts of him, back before you discovered a few new favourites - and lifted your dress. He was like a rag doll, pliable. You’d never seen Benny Miller so… submissive. 

He groaned as you lifted your dress to reveal your bare core. His two fingers looked giant as your much smaller ones guided him down, of course he helped, eager for anything you’d give. 

It had been a while and despite the labour you were incredibly tight, but your arousal more than lubricated the way. You were positively aching as his fingers dipped straight inside your channel. The groan was that of a tortured man as he felt the sheer amount of slick. He had bent down, his head resting on your shoulder for better purchase. 

Benny seemed to remember himself as he delved deeper, now scissoring his two fingers inside you. 

You’re big enough to admit that as you gave a gasp of pleasure, you were tempted to abandon the plan entirely, in favour of riding his cock in the cupboard under the stairs. You grabbed his long hair, your fingers weaving through to his roots. Not pulling, per say but enough that you had regained control. It helped that he had bent slightly to push his fingers deeper inside of you, in what you assumed from the pleasure coursing through your veins was an attempt to reach your cervix, meaning you were now the same height. 

Your voice was breathy as he had yet to pause his ministrations. Yet you placed a wet kiss on his lips, nipping at his bottom lip as you parted. 

“You’d slip right in, and you’d be so, so deep and delicious and it’d feel so good … but now you’ve gotta wait.” 

Your hand grabbed at his forearm, stopping his movements. Ever the gentleman, despite his desperate want, pulled back. 

You had yet to release your hold on his forearm as you bought his slick fingers up to your mouth and cleaned them off for him.

Denying yourself the quickie was worth it for the wounded groan of defeat as he pinched his eyes closed with his head thrown back. It almost broke your resolve as he stuffed his still hard cock back in his pants with some difficulty, looking all sad. 

Yet you stayed strong and rejoined the party, looking a little frazzled yourself. 

One and a half excruciating hours later, when you finally make it through your front door, you are burning for him. 

Which coincidentally means that your daughter decides that this is the perfect opportunity for a complete and utter meltdown. 

It was like the girl knew and had to throw down one last roadblock to fuck with you. Honestly, you were contemplating abandoning her at a fire station when Benny began rocking the wailing baby against his chest, soothing her cries and crooning softly to her. 

“You go up - I’ll get her a bottle.” Benny whispers to you, squeezing your palm. Weekends were important to Ben; giving you time to yourself, after spending all week with the newborn - he utterly cherished the time spent with his girl.

You placed a kiss on his cheek and stroked her head as you passed. 

Rushing to the bedroom, you grab a nightie from your drawer, it was the cute one you hadn’t worn in nearly a year. The one with matching, barely there, shorts beneath it. It left just enough to the imagination, not that you imagined you’d be wearing it for long if Benny had his way. 

You brush your teeth, your hair and throw on some deodorant for good measure. 

Fully prepped you return to your bedroom, no Benny in sight. 

Now, it's worth mentioning, you had been turned on for hours at this point. Your core was practically pulsating from watching the father of your child well… father Maggie. But, put it down to the four glasses of merlot or the long nights with a newborn, but as you seductively pose against the pillows waiting for Benny to join you, you find your eyelids become heavier and heavier until you find yourself drifting off into a light sleep.

There’s no telling how long you’ve been asleep, as you have fallen deep into the pillows, no longer sexily poised ready for his arrival. Benny has dipped the warm lights low and Maggie’s white noise machine is soothingly playing Mozart from the bassinet in the corner of the room; it's a perfect night.

“It was selfish of me to wake you up.” Benny’s face is equal parts reverent and guilty as he stares at you, mirroring your position in the pillows. One hand runs up your exposed arm with a delicate soothing touch, one that does little if nothing to soothe you.  “You need your sleep, being a total milf must take it out of you.”

“You’d know.” Your voice is thick with sleep and your retort barely makes any sense, but he breathes through his nose, shaking his head at your delirium. 

“Go back to sleep baby.” He pulls the covers up over your legs. 

For a moment you are stunned; you had literally been edging him all night, and yet he still prioritised your rest. 

It was hard to associate him as the man who had broken your heart all those months ago for merely asking for a relationship. Yet it was him who was scared to take that step towards caring for another person. Benny had grown so much, as a father, as a partner; as a man. 

He had proven himself time and time again, worthy of the unspoken feelings between you, the three words which the two of you held captive, weighed heavy on your tongue. Despite all of your confessions both of you are too afraid to say them, both as complicated mess of commitment issues as the other.  

It wasn’t a game, withholding them, per say. It was fear; plain and simple, to say them, as if those words would somehow make this real. This thing between the two of you, the thing you had been chasing all those months ago, when you had confronted him outside your building. 

Benny opens his arms; an invitation you’d be a fool to refuse. His chest is bare and he’s clad only in his underwear. A discovery you’re happy to make as you burrow into his warm toned chest, though you have no intention of sleep anymore. 

For a moment, you breathe him in. You take stock of all the hurdles, the hurt and heartbreak, the relief and joy the two of you had gone through to get here. Whilst you may wish you’d taken a less scenic route, you can’t begrudge the pain, because it got you where you are now. 

“I love you.” Your voice is thick with both sleep and emotion when you say the words you’ve never spoken romantically to another person. 

He goes stiff and you're proud to say, you’re not afraid. 

Benny has proven himself. 

He has earnt that time, the moment or two he takes to pause, his arms rigid around you in shock at your earnest words. 

You trust him with your heart, because he has shown you beyond doubt he would guard it more ferociously than his own. 

For your faith he rewards you, grabbing your chin and crushing his lips to your own in a soul rendering kiss. One that holds the words he can’t seem quite able to get out, yet you know he feels as strongly as you. 

Benny pulls away and stares at you for a long moment, his blue eyes taking you in as if he’s seeing you for the first time. He manoeuvres you into the downy pillows, so smoothly you’re not entirely sure it wasn’t your idea to move.

Those baby blues glide across your body, taking inventory in a way he’d either never had the time or inclination before.  He is revenant in his reintroduction of your anatomy. 

Benny’s large hand finds your thighs and pushes them apart so he can take his seat between them.  Languidly he crawls above you bearing his weight on his elbows. 

He joins your lips once again, though this time he instantly deepens it, his tongue meeting yours as he licks into your mouth. 

Those hands you love so much, drag down the expanse of your tummy, sliding into the waistband of your night shorts. 

There's a slow drag of his tongue on your bottom lip, as his fingers drag across your soaking wet slit before his two fingers plunge knuckle deep, stretching you with very little resistance. 

You let out a deep moan though his hot mouth swallows your cry. You swear you feel his lips curl in a smile against yours. 

Evidently Benny remembers your body like the back of his hand, as his fingers curl against your walls in just the right way that has your toes curling. His thumb dips into your heat and gathers your slick, before it finds purchase on your bud. 

With military precision he swirls his thumb on your clit and after a few rotations you’re basically a goner. You grab at his hair, as you come hard from just his fingers. His mouth on yours continues to swallow your cries as you ride out your high. When it finally all becomes too much he pulls his sodden fingers from you only to lick them clean. Unable to help yourself, you let out a moan at the wanton show of debauchery. He pulls back for a moment to pull your nightie over your head, leaving you only in your soaked shorts. 

He kisses down your chest, nipping and licking along your breasts - his tongue lavishing your nipples in worship. Benny pushes your wet shorts down your hips, ready to dive in head first and devour your core, however, you’ve had six weeks of agonising foreplay, you are eager for this gorgeous man to be inside of you and ease this painful ache. 

“Benny… Please, I want you inside of me.” For years to come this will be a point of contention, whether or not you begged for his cock that first time. 

But right now, he simply nods pushing himself back up your body, his boxers are kicked down his legs as he makes the journey, desire overflows in your belly, as you look down and see how swollen he is. 

Unable to resist you wrap your hand around him, he grunts in surprise as you stroke him. 

“Careful.” His voice is strained and you realise your calm and collected Benjamin Miller is as desperate and needy as you. 

He crawls up your body and you find yourself in the missionary position, you don't have time to smile at how domestically quaint it is. Before the tip of his cock is rubbing along your clit; once, twice before he lines up and breaches the walls of your cunt. 

It's a tight fight and its slow going. 

You’re newly healed and he’s considerate, though his commentary makes you think the slow pace may also be for his benefit.

“Fucki- shit– you’re fucking tight angel. Tighter than before - fuck, I’m not gonna last.” Inch by delicious inch, you swallow him up.

“Fuck Benny, I forgot how good you-” His hand covers your mouth as hes finally sheathed fully inside of you - he’s fighting for his life not to come early. 

You’re utterly full of him, as your legs wrap around his lithe hips, you’re desperate for him to move.

Finally, he asks; control seemingly regained after a moment or two of splitting you open. “You okay… no pain?”

“I’ll be a whole lot better if you fuck me.” You retort cheekily, to which he grins and kisses you hard as his hips pull back nearly all the way before he spears you with his cock. 

Benny’s thick member drags against your walls, making your eyes roll back at the sheer size of him; your fingers and toys hadn’t done him justice. 

Benny’s hand dips to your cunt, seeking out your bundle of nerves. Which he finds with a combination of his expert touch and his intricate knowledge of your body.

Driving hard into you, you feel the pressure building again, before a tidal wave of pleasure overtakes you. 

“Fuck, Benny…” You have enough about you to remember to whisper as you plea. “Oh fuck- I’m gonna come.”

“Let go, Angel.” He continues his steady rhythm continuing to grind his cock deep inside of you. It hits you like a truck as your whole body clenches around him - a guttural moan leaves your body and your legs lock around his body whilst your heels find purchase in the dimples above his ass. 

Benny’s pace slows but doesn’t stop as he leisurely rolls his hips to draw out your climax. He kisses you deeply, his tongue is slow and deliberate as he explores the plains of your mouth. This intimacy had never been afforded to you, this slow love making, it was new terrain and you fucking loved it. 

With his cock still buried deep inside of you, Benny pulls away licking along your neck. One hand rises from where it had been leisurely playing with your nipple to push your displaced hair behind your ear. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous when you come, your pussy gets so fuckin’ tight.” He tells you, your eyes locking with his baby blues. “...and you’re gonna’ give me another one.”

“Benny … I-” You pant as you’re already straddling the line between pleasure and overstimulation. 

He shushes you, as he begins picking up his pace. His filthy words help build you back up to your peak when he suddenly draws back, pushing your knees up against your chest and a pillow under your hips. This new position drives him deeper and harder with his own knees powering his thrusts. 

“Fucking sweet mother of-” His hand covers your mouth and your moans are drowned out by Ben’s heavy breathing of exertion and slapping of skin on skin. 

“Baby.” He whispers breathily, reminding you of your snoozing dependant in the corner as he continues to pound relentlessly into your core. 

Ben's hands grab at your hips holding you in place as you do everything in your power to angle yourself up and get him as deep as you can. You swear your eyeballs have rolled back into your head permanently as your hands find the headboard, pushing yourself back up and into him, somehow he manages to burrow even deeper. 

“Fuck -” He grunts, his skin is now bathed in a dew of sweat as his long blonde locks fall forward onto his forehead. His eyes are clenched as he chases his pleasure, still fighting it off so that you get there first. 

“Fuck baby … fuck, I need you to come.” Benny groaned. “Give me something nice and tight to come into.”

He needn’t have asked twice. 

The combination of his filthy words, the world devastating thrusts making his balls slap rhythmically against your ass and his practised thumb drawing shapes on your clit had your world shattering once more. 

Benny buried his face in your neck as he came, filling you up whilst you clenched around him with one hand wrapped in his hair and your toes curling against his chest. 

Lingering for a moment, he shifted, keeping himself still inside of you, letting your joints relax either side of you.

The two of you basked in the closeness of one another, time seemed to slow as you lay there stroking Ben Miller's blonde locks as he flourished your chest in kisses with his cock slowly softening inside of you. 

Two Months Later

“Ben … come on we’re going to be late! He’s proposing and if we’re not there he’ll kick your ass.”

“Why my ass?” Your boyfriend questions as he walks down the hall whilst simultaneously knotting his tie. 

“I’m the mother of his favourite niece, he can’t hurt me.” 

“No need to burn Mariana like that, Baby.” He smirks, placing a light kiss on your lips.

“You should’ve heard what that little shit said about my shoes yesterday…” Your feuds with the youngest Morales were both passionate and seemingly never ending. 

Grabbing him by the mess of his tie, you undo his shoddy work. 

“Who’s holding us up now?!” He huffs, though there's ample teasing behind his tone. 

“Oh shush.” You reply whilst you adjust it.  Benny's long arms snake around your waist to rest on your lower back before he’s leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. 

It starts off sweet, honestly! It's nothing more than a peck really, before his tongue presses against your lips and his hands have the meat of your ass squeezed in his palms now somehow underneath your sundress. 

Pushing against his shoulders, you remove yourself from temptation. 

“Did I tell you you look like a fuckin’ angel today?” He murmurs against your throat as he places kisses along the neckline of your dress. “ … C’mon, back of the truck… we can make it to Will’s next engagement.”

“That’s mean.” You huff, knocking his cap off his head before grabbing the car key and the baby. 

He snickers as he grabs his belongings from the dish on the side table preparing to leave the house, it's as you’re just about to cross the threshold with your daughter in your arms that he speaks again.

“I love you, Y/N.”

You pause for a moment utterly stunned at the words you'd been dying to hear for the past 10 years.  For all of two seconds you contemplate taking him back upstairs.

“I know.” You simply reply, schooling your face to show none of the emotions currently coursing through your veins.

The booming laugh that follows you out of the house makes absolutely everything worth it. 

THE END.

[b3achysurfur]

As someone who is a Logan fan, but will respect your dislike of him, I want to propose something to you. How would you rewrite Logan's role in the group WITHOUT just getting rid of him entirely? From what I've seen, most of your issues with him relate to the writing and not him as a character. So it would be interesting to use that big brain of yours to try and make him at least a somewhat decent character for you.

that’s actually I rlly good question and I’ve been thinking about this ask for weeks. here’s what I decided on:

Logan Fields is a contender of SBG, who currently plays as a defensive member of the Savannah Squad.

Logan, unlike most of his friends, has no concrete dream of becoming the world's best test subject. He instead seeks to enjoy life to the fullest by playing in the phantom dimension.

Out of the original 6 teens chosen to be a part of the Sorrel Weed House Scam, Logan is an ideal candidate for the type of test subject the Paper Cranes strive to create. After the match against Barron, Logan ranked as one of the top fighters in the Savannah Squad.

Logan is an eccentric member of the Savannah Sqaud who has a strong penchant for violence or, more specifically, physical altercations. At the core of Logan’s personality is a drive to play with phantoms, which is a biological phenomenon that makes him feel complete. Logan scores goals to pass on his genes and leave his mark on the world; it is his sole focus. He gets excited from playing high level phantom escapes with other high-level players and is bored if people cannot make him "explode" or don't "explode" themselves.

He can be considered the polar opposite of Tyler Hernandez, being completely self-sufficient and instinctive in his phantom form. A noticeable trait of Logan’s has been his propensity for violence to get what he wants, often being unwilling to work with most people (if anybody at all). He seems completely aware and content with the toxicity of his behavior and only feels slight remorse once he is electrocuted and locked up for being overly aggressive and threatening serious bodily injury onto others.

He seems to get over such feelings when he is released from his behavioral captivity by Ben Clark, who asks him to join him in playing high-level phantom escapes and is cleared to act however he wants as long as it's for Ben’s sake. When released from the facility under Ben’s supervision, he seems to be even more openly violent and causes frequent quarrels with the Japan U-20 team's ace player Aiden Clark, who initially doesn't respect Ben.

[padfootagain]

Something Good (XXII)

Chapter 22: Toothpaste

Hello! Here is a new chapter for my Ben Barnes series!

Alright, alright, alright, maybe I’m leaning too much into the cuteness, but I’ll soon put these two in ‘situations’ again, so for now, take one more disgustingly fluffy chapter, alright?

Hope you like it!!! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Fluff,  Slow burn, professor AU.!

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already is. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

Word Count: 2474

Masterlist for the series – Ben Barnes’ Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Got home safely!

I’ll see you tonight, darling

xx

You couldn’t refrain a smile as you read Ben’s text.

The Christmas tree still glimmered in your living room, even if the presents had been offered already. Sally was currently playing with the new dinosaur toys you had bought for her, fighting against the evil barbies trying to steal their lego house. You smiled fondly as you caught a glimpse of your daughter sitting there, on the ground, lost in her own intricate storyline.

You settled more comfortably in your sofa, glancing at the time and sipping on your tea.

Your mother would drop by in about an hour to get Sally. They were having a girls’ night together, a perfect occasion for you to have a date with Ben.

You read the same word over and over again, looking for an appropriate answer, but your brain was too busy chanting the pet name.

Darling, darling, darling…

God, you loved him so much, it should have been illegal…

Good to hear! Can’t wait to finally taste this chilli of yours you keep on bragging about.

I’ve missed you, can’t wait to see you tonight xx

It took him less than a minute to answer, with a picture of a paper bag filled to the brim with groceries.

Got everything I need to cook for you. Hopefully, I do a decent job, although you’re making it sound like I’ve created high expectations I am certain I will fail to attain.

Oh, and don’t forget to get some extra clothes and a toothbrush ;)

You were glad he wasn’t there to see how you shied away under his obvious innuendo.

Some clothes? A toothbrush? We’re feeling very confident, I see, Mr. Barnes…

His answer made you choke on your warm beverage.

I’ve been dreaming of all the things I’m going to do to you for over a week, darling. There’s no way you’re sleeping anywhere but in my bed tonight.

You giggled, kicking your feet in excitement and grinning like a bloody lovesick fool, before hiding your face in your hands.

God, he made you feel like a bloody teenager all over again, and you loved every second of it…

Waking up in Ben’s bed was strange.

A nice kind of strange, of course. Warm bed, soft sheets, his arm flung across your stomach, and his face relaxed in a quiet sleep. His dark hair stained the white pillow in messy strands. There was a quiet, almost shy light coming in from the window. Only a faint whisper came from the street. It was peaceful, warm, comfortable. But strange. It was your first time sleeping here. You had come to visit several times, of course, while you were still mere friends. But now there you were, wrapped in his linen sheets, listening to his steady breathing while under his eyelids his eyes moved with the rhythm of dreams. And you were happy to see this sight, to stare at him resting by your side.

Were you worthy of such a privilege, though?

Before you could lean into these thoughts, Ben was stirring, moving slowly at first, but then reaching up to rub remnants of sleep out of his eyes. When he blinked, a smile spread on his lips as he focused on you.

“Morning,” he mumbled, his voice much lower than usual in this early morning light.

“Morning,” you grinned back, leaning closer as he gently pulled you in his arms.

“Would you like some pancakes for breakfast?”

“Oh! Yes! Please!”

“Deal. I’ll go in a few minutes…”

“Why do I feel like a few minutes will turn into an hour?”

He chuckled against your hair, pressing kisses to the side of your head and temple.

“You’re starting to know me a little too well…”

“Hmm… You like cuddles too much to get out of bed quickly.”

“True.”

And indeed, you didn’t get up for a long while. You merely giggled, exchanged silly jokes, kisses and caresses buried under his warm blanket while outside, the world got buried under a thick layer of snow.

You got ready while Ben was making breakfast, taking a quick shower and getting dressed with the extra clothes you had brought. He peered inside the bathroom while you brushed your teeth.

“Pancakes are ready, darling,” he announced with a bright smile.

He walked inside, wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your hair while you kept on washing your teeth.

You winced once you were done.

“I hate your toothpaste.”

He raised an amused eyebrow.

“Really?”

“Yeah… it tastes… I don’t know, it’s strong. Too minty. It’s burning my tongue!”

Ben let out a bright laugh.

“Burning your tongue?!”

“Yes! It’s terrible!”

“I like it.”

“I’ll bring mine next time.”

“Well, if you keep on insulting my toothpaste, I may not let you come here again. Don’t you know how touchy this subject is to me?”

It was your time to laugh, catching his glance in the mirror.

“Oh, I know. You tell me about it every day.”

“Every hour even!”

“What a strange obsession…”

You leaned back against him, letting him support your weight, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re back,” you whispered, letting the quietness of the moment crystalise the gentleness that hung in the air. “I know you were gone for a mere week but still… it was strange not to have you around.”

“Yeah… I missed you too. My brother teased me a lot about it, actually.”

“Your brother?” you asked with a frown, turning in his arms to face him.

“Yeah, Jack. I told you about him…”

“Yeah, I know who your brother is… I… does that mean your family knows about me?”

Ben’s smile dropped, and he was cautious as he answered.

“Yes… I mean… they caught me on the phone with you. It wasn’t hard to put two plus two together. Does that make you feel uncomfortable?”

“No! You can tell whoever you want, I just… It’s only been a few weeks… I thought you’d wait for a bit.”

“They guessed, to be honest.”

“Oh, okay.”

“But… yeah, they know about you. Not the whole thing, just… the basics. How we met, that you’re a mother, that we were friends before giving this a try. You know, basic stuff.”

You nodded. He didn’t tell you that they were aware of the depth of his feelings for you though, that Jack had guessed that he was, in fact, in love with you. It was too soon for that.

“Besides, your mother knows. I wasn’t the first one to make a full report to my parents,” he joked, successfully making you laugh while you rolled your eyes.

“Right, of course… when you put it that way.”

There was a pause, when you lowered your gaze, staring blankly at the collar of his black t-shirt. You bit your lower lip in hesitation before speaking again.

“I think I’m going to wait a few more weeks to talk to Liam about us. Like… I don’t know… maybe let the first month pass. And if everything is still going fine by then, I’ll tell him. What do you think?”

Ben shrugged.

“He’s your ex. You’re the one to decide when you’re ready to tell him.”

“In the meantime, we can’t be too obvious in front of Sally. We’ll tell her after I’ve talked to Liam, okay?”

“Yeah, alright.”

“I’m not trying to hide or anything, you know?”

“I know. But we need to think about Sally too. And she’s a child: we need to be certain that this is going in the right direction before getting her involved in all of this.”

“I’m just trying to protect her.”

“I know, I get it. It’s okay. I agree with you.”

You rose to your tiptoes to kiss him, and you tasted grateful as your lips closed upon his.

“Well, I’m still waiting for my pancakes!” you joked, breaking the heaviness of the air, making him chuckle fondly at you.

“Actually, they’re waiting for you, my darling…”

Everything went smoothly, it was a little like a dream.

The holidays were over, time to go back to work, and in the whirlwind of finals, and busy schedules, you were still there.

Ben wasn’t certain why he was so surprised by it. You had started dating for about a month now, you were still deep in the honeymoon phase. The initial thrill filled with exciting sparkles and lovely surprises. Still, it didn’t stop him from being surprised by how everything was so effortless with you. Especially because it wasn’t.

He was taking care of Sally more and more with you. His bond with the girl was growing stronger with every afternoon spent playing with her and her dolls, with each messy painting session or adventure at the park. He had learned how to do her hair, the fastest way to tie her shoelaces, the most practical way to put on her coat. You let him take care of her meals now, and she rested in his arms as much as she did in yours when you watched her favourite Disney movies together. It felt more and more like co-parenting. And it was a lot of efforts, an incredibly difficult challenge, to see this pile of responsibilities growing.

And then there was the most basic things to organize and plan. Dates, re-organizing his life around your busy schedule. His quiet weekends were disturbed now by afternoons at the zoo and sleepless nights in your bed.

And he adored it. Every second of it. It was difficult, it was tiring, and it was the most natural thing, too. Fitting into your life was as easy as breathing. He didn’t know how much was due to the honeymoon phase, to the original excitement of a new relationship, or if it was really genuinely easy for him. Was he simply blinded by you? He wasn’t sure. What he did know, though, was that he was happy. Disgustingly so.

So much so that it was hard to hide it. It was hard not to smile when he thought about seeing you at lunch, or about this book he wanted to recommend you, or when he simply pictured your smile. It was even harder not to reach out to touch you when you were at work, to be unable to yield to these urges he had to kiss you until you couldn’t breathe, to try to conceal the glances he stole whenever he could.

As you walked together to join the theatre club that afternoon, Ben couldn’t help himself. He knew he shouldn’t, because you were at work, in a corridor, where students could very much walk by and see the two of you, but he couldn’t help it. As he reached out to brush his fingers against yours, he couldn’t stop himself. Having physical touch as his love language could be something of a curse sometimes…

You gave his hand a squeeze, before letting go again.

“Not here,” you whispered.

“Sorry.”

You saw him blushing, looking away in a moment of shyness.

“It’s alright, but… not here.”

“I know. Sorry…”

“Are you free tonight, though? You could eat with Sally and I, and stay for a movie after?”

He smiled, nodding quickly.

“Sure, sounds nice!”

You were both grinning still when you reached the room and were welcomed by your excited students.

There was a lot of work to be done still. Some songs needed to be adjusted, you were still working on the rewriting of several scenes… and you got easily distracted by Ben’s marvellous voice as he sang along to help some students. And Ben was easily distracted by the peek he caught of your cleavage whenever you leaned forward a little too much…

And he didn’t even notice. The way he leaned a little closer to you, the way his eyes always settled on your frame, the way he kept track of your movements throughout the room. It was second nature, almost. He thought he was doing great at hiding his feelings and your relationship, he really did. And so, he didn’t catch on Nathaniel, Daniel and Roberta whispering together at one point. He didn’t understand why Giselle exchanged strange glances with several members of the club either. You seemed to have gathered more braincells that afternoon though, because you made sure to stay away from Ben for the rest of the session, to Ben’s disappointment.

And he noticed the distance that you were forcing between the two of you. Of course, he did, and if he reckoned that it was in an attempt to keep a low profile, there was a voice in his head that made him wonder if you were annoyed with him, if he had done something wrong…

He was quiet as you finished to clean up the room together. It was unusual now for the two of you to be standing in a room for more than a few minutes without talking, or at least acknowledge each other’s presence in some way. You closed the door before walking over to him.

“Ben, you’re alright?”

“Of course. Why?”

“You’re very quiet.”

“I was simply lost in thoughts.”

“Okay…”

He hesitated, his voice coming out as a whisper when he finally spoke.

“Are you… are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m just fine.”

“We… we’re okay, right? I didn’t… I wasn’t annoying or…?”

“What? Of course not! What are you talking about?”

“You were avoiding me the entire session…”

You heaved a sigh, before reaching for his hand, cradling it gently in both of your palms.

“Sorry about that. But you were being pretty obvious, I didn’t want the students to catch up on us.”

You had a humorous smile on your face, the gentle kind that made Ben’s heart grow warm and mushy and melting beneath his ribs. He wanted to hold your face in his palms in the gentlest way possible, afraid he could break you somehow, and kiss you until it would kill him…

Instead, he merely blushed and looked away.

“Really? Was I?”

“Yeah, you were. That’s alright though. I simply had to save our arses. You were not as obvious as Nathaniel and Daniel though.”

“What?! Nathaniel and Daniel?!”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed! These two have been stealing glances the whole session!”

Ben blushed again as he spoke, but the words were out before he could properly think them. You had this power over him, and he kind of hated it. He couldn’t lie or control what was coming out of his mouth when you were around.

“I was distracted today. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

You looked away, before rewarding his words with a kiss on his cheek.

Alright, perhaps this power of yours did have nice consequences sometimes…

***************************

Taglist: @reg-arcturus-black @sergeantbuckybarnes @wolfmoonmusic @idek-what-to-put @kpicard @rhapsodyonthethames @friendly-philosopher

[reanbowful]

This is a request from a person who THRIVE on Gerard. So I shall give you. Gerard in caps.

*also I’m back yayy sorry for being absent ehehe

“accidents or fate?”

if you accidentally kiss / compromising position

*sliiiightly suggestive on Ben’s part

(gray, ben, GERARD, jake, wolf)

gray yeon / yeon sieun

The two of you sat side by side in an empty classroom reviewing for a quiz.

It’s been like at least an hour and you could feel your back aching already.

You rest your head on the table, looking at Gray who’s nose is buried in your notebook, correcting any mistakes that you make.

Which made you pout, because what the hell is that? How did you get so many wrongs, and you were confident about it too :(

Sighing, you turn your head towards the glass window.

The sun is setting now. A warm orange glow filled the classroom. It was .. beautiful.

You were about to tap Gray’s arm to show him the sight. But when you turn-

“Gray, look-“

Gray was also trying to get your attention, seemingly leaning in while you turn your head at the same time.

At the brush of his lips, you got startled and jumped back. Hands covering your lips.

When you see Gray frozen in his place, you chuckled speechlessly. Recovering quickly and promptly apologised.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine. It was an accident.”

He could pretend to be stoic all he wants but the red across his cheeks says otherwise.

ben park / park humin

I feel like out of everyone, he would be the most like. Shocked. Flabbergasted.

Parties weren’t Ben’s thing, but this was a special occasion. Gerard had just begin to play music again. That’s something to celebrate about.

The owner of the venue held an after party. Well, not so much for Gerard, but for their 5 year anniversary.

But still. It’s quite a crowded place, so to say.

“I’m going to get some drinks!”

With the blasting music and people screaming at the top of their lungs at every corner, no one could really blame Ben for not noticing the disaster coming his way.

See, you were having a bit of a ‘disagreement’ with a group of girls from your old school. And well, it was quite a mess.

You just wanted to have a nice time away from all the stress and when you came in, your eyes were met with the embodiment of pettiness.

Damn. Which God did you piss off for them to do this?

Letting out an exasperated groan, you rolled your eyes and turn to leave.

“Ok, ok. You know what, enjoy the fucking party. I’ll leave you to it.”

Somehow, the girls seems to be even more annoyed when you left them just like that.

So, guess what they did?

Ben was just collecting his drinks that right when he turned around, he was met with a body shoved harshly onto him. Causing him to lose balance and toppled off right onto the floor.

“Ugh..”

He winced at the sudden weight dropping on top of him, cracking open his eyes only to find your face right in front of his.. yea.

Ben’s whole face burned. Mixed with the alcohol in his system, his brain literally stop working.

But yours clearly didn’t. Nor were you affected at all by the embarrassing situation.

Because that very second, Ben watch you push yourself back up. Angrily stomping towards the three girls.

The rest of it is a blur. He didn’t know how long he sat there on the floor, the blood rushing to his head making him feel a bit dizzy.

What the fuck just happened?

GERARD JIN / JIN GAYOOL

I imagine you guys to be the type of people who would go thrifting or go to these flea market type of events. (you’re not a couple yet)

So, basically Gerard was out on his monthly thrifting day at this particular event.

While searching for decent second hand guitars on the internet he stumbled upon this one shop.

Coincidentally, they were currently a tenant in a famous thrifting event. So, Gerard thought might as well go and see the product for itself.

Now, you play guitar in a band, not big or anything serious. But you guys would occasionally busk and accept gigs for extra cash.

Of course, being high school students, you don’t really have all the money in the world. So, things like clothes, and other trinkets, you try to curate them by thrifting.

Anyways, you were just looking around for the next hidden treasure when you saw it.

A black, vintage, X model guitar.

Oh you gotta have that.

Practically running to get it when you feel yourself pulled forward, stumbling on your feet towards a man with green hair.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!”

You stared at him, slightly in shock. Your faces are so close together. The man has a soft blush forming, while you gulped when you notice him releasing his hold on the guitar, moving them to your waist to steady you instead.

“I-I didn’t see you, but, it seems that you’re also going to purchase it.”

Also? Wait, but this dude is gorgeous now that you see it.

Gerard stood awkwardly, rubbing his neck.

“It’s a nice model, you have a good eye. Ah, well. I’ll just check out the other models, sorry.”

“NO! No, I mean, no, take this. I insist. Matter-of-fact, I’ll even pay for you.”

You handed over the guitar to Gerard (who looked confused out of his mind), handing in crumpled cash towards the tenant.

“Wha- Why?”

“Since I paid for your guitar, clear out your schedule on Saturday. Come watch me at X bar.”

Y/N investing, I see.

jake ji / ji hakho

This was the situation that got the two of you together in the first place.

When he first met you, Jake thought the two of you have quite similar personalities. You were cheerful, and bright, and live like you have not a single care in the world.

You guys matched with each other right away.

Jake likes you, Dean likes you, everybody likes you. You have an easygoing and friendly personality that people find it easy to find comfort in you.

For Jake, that comfort slowly blossomed into something more.

It started small, the urge to protect. The thought of anyone possibly harming you leaving a bad taste in his tongue.

But then, he started seeing you EVERYWHERE. It’s like you have a magnet on his eyes, even the slight figure or your voice could have him snapping his gaze.

“Excuse me, we are conducting a survey for our university. Would you mind to answer a few questions? It will just be for a bit.”

Jake stared at the bulletin board beside the man. ‘The Science of Love’

Pursing his lips, Jake sighed.

“Okay.”

“Okay! We’re also gonna be recording this, if you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s just-“

“Hey, is that you, Jake?”

Jake turned his head, taken aback at how close your face already is across his shoulder. Causing your lips to briefly touch before the two of you pulled away in shock.

You let out a laugh, backing away from the recording camera. Jake felt something in his stomach turn when he saw how nonchalant you acted after accidentally kissing him.

“Oh God! AHAHA I’m so sorry! Please, carry on.”

As he collects himself, you were already strolling away from the scene. Mindlessly walking away like nothing had happened.

“I- sorry. I gotta go.”

“Eh? Wait!”

Catching up to you, Jake pulled you by the sleeve of your puffer jacket. To which, you responded with a neutral look on your face.

“I! Want to kiss you! Again. Properly.”

Face flushed, Jake clenched his fist. Heart pounding as he waited for your reaction.

“Huh? Why? You like me or something?”

“Wha- Y/N, I wouldn’t- Ok. You know what, yes. I do like you.”

Jake waited as your expression lay unchanging, bracing himself for a rejection. Only to feel a pair of lips meeting the corner of his mouth.

“Sure, then. I’ll kiss you until you get bored of it.”

Jake can feel his eyes watering as he lifted you up from the ground.

“I won’t ever get bored!”

wolf keum / keum seongje

I’m actually curious how Wolf would react in this scenario really.

There are 3 scenarios.

If you guys know each other closely / are romantically together, he would be completely smug about it.

But if you don’t, then he’ll simply brush over it.

An interesting thing will happen if YOU don’t know him, but HE has a crush on you.

Wolf was having quite an irritating day.

The leftover summer heat, the homeroom teacher’s lecturing him about his absence record, and all of the union bullshit just have to pile up one after the other on the exact same day.

So, this guy is in a pretty foul mood.

Wolf was smoking by the second floor corridor, watching from above as a baseball game commenced in the field.

For such an expensive school, Ganghak’s facilities are.. questionable.

Wolf watched as you walked out of the student council meeting room, your arms filled with a huge pile of books.

He contemplated on offering to carry them. But, no, that would be awkward. He was just about to turn back when he saw a flash of white through the corner of his eye.

Fucking fuck.

Rushing to your side, Wolf pulled you away from the glass window. The glass window which, not a second later, shattered with a hole and a flying baseball bouncing harshly off of the wall.

You panted in shock, not fully comprehending the situation. Due to the urgency, and the sheer force of Wolf’s pull, you lost your balance and ended up knocking the two of you down.

Thankfully, Wolf was able to break your fall by covering your head.

“Noona, are you ok-“

He frowned at the red cut on your left cheek. Brushing his thumb over the edge of the cut.

“Does it hurt?”

You reached your hand up to examine the cut, accidentally brushing your finger over Wolf’s.

“Uh.. no. It doesn’t.”

Wolf tries to calm his rapid heartbeat, reaching behind him for a bandaid and handing them to you.

When your friends started scurrying over, he moved away from you. Feigning ignorance, Wolf cleared his throat and took the baseball into his hand.

Those athletes are going to have a field day.

[in-death-we-fall]

Face To Face

Murderdolls

Fred Durst isn’t on their Christmas card list. But Angelina Jolie is…

Words: Daniel Lukes Photos: Scarlet Page

(google docs) Thanks @incredizort for sharing your collection!

Joey Jordison’s presence in glam-metal side-project Murderdolls was always bound to garner more than just a passing glance; not least because the exuberant drummer shocked everyone by deciding to make his post-Slipknot debut in stack heels and a whole lotta make-up. But since releasing their debut album, ‘Beyond the Valley Of The Murderdolls’, this summer, the horror-punk quintet have (sic) the past few months creating merry mayhem out on the road, rapidly building a colourful cult following in the process.

Today, the Murderdolls Roadshow has hit London – the Forum in Kentish Town, to be precise – and a group of diehard fans have gathered outside the venue to catch a glimpse of their heroes. For six diehard ‘Dolls fans, however, Christmas has come early. Louise Condren and her brother Michael, Michelle Peppiatt, Rebecca Brazil, Matthew Murray and Richard Williams are currently sitting in the venue’s upstairs bar, where they’re about to begin interrogating the glam-goth six-piece (sic) about subjects as diverse as drugs, Anjelina (sic) Jolie and, of course, a fat man with a white beard and red coat.

After hands are shaken and pleasanteries (sic) exchanged, there’s just one thing to do: get this party started…

Michelle: How do you feel about having so much success so quickly? Ben ‘Ghoul’ Graves: “We’re the hottest thing since sunburn, the greatest fucking band on planet Earth, so it wasn’t really a big surprise to us.” Acey Slade: “We’re doing something different. A lot of people are turning their noses up, but at the same time a lot of people are buying it. It’s like heroin.” Wednesday: “Joey’s had a lot of success with Slipknot, but it’s really weird for me, it’s kind of a new thing. To come to another country and there’s kids dressed like you, and imitating your whole thing, and they know every word to a song that you wrote in your bedroom when you lived with your parents, it’s such a great feeling.”

Matthew: Who would you most like to fuck on a cold Christmas morning Wednesday: “To fuck? On a cold Christmas morning? These are good questions.” Acey: “It’s a very generic answer, but I’d probably have to say Angelina Jolie.” Wednesday: “I’d say Santa Claus.” Ben: “Have you heard of a girl over here called Lindsey Dawn? She’s from the UK, she’s very hot.” Acey: “That’s not what you said earlier, Ghoul. You said for Christmas you wanted to find a midget in your stocking. That’s what you said.”

Richard: Whose roast turkey would you most like to carve this Christmas morning? Wednesday: “Whose what?” Acey: “Is that a variation of the same question? If it’d get me laid, I’d say Angelina Jolie again.” Wednesday: “I don’t know. I don’t know how to carve a turkey anyway.” Acey: “He only carves chickens. One time he carved a squirrel, for class.” Wednesday: “I don’t know. That’s probably the most difficult question I’ve ever been asked in my life.” Ben: “Hugh Hefner. I’d love to spend Christmas at the ‘Playboy’ Mansion.” Wednesday: “Of course you would.”

Michael: If you were the five wise men, what would you give to baby Jesus? Eric Griffin: “Drugs!” Wednesday: “Drugs and a couple of shots of Jägermeister. I’d like to breastfeed baby Jesus.” Acey: “I’d give him a butterscotch enema.”

Matthew: Which rock star looks most like Santa Claus? Wednesday: “Jerry Garcia. Michael MacDonald. You guys probably have no clue who that is.” Ben: “Who’s the one they said Wednesday looks like?” Wednesday: “Mortiis! Like a dead Santa Claus. Or maybe one of his elves. Rob Zombie looks kinda like Santa Claus a little bit.” Joey: “Cancel that. We won’t get that tour.” Wednesday: “He’s got his beard. I’d love him to bring me presents. That’d be the coolest Santa Claus in the world, bringing you shrunken heads and all that. Jellied brains.” Acey: “Or go-go girls, or a leather face mask.”

Richard: If you had Fred Durst hanging by his bollocks what would you do to him? Eric: “Nothing, I’d just leave him there.” Wednesday: “That’s pretty harsh torture in itself. I think we’d all swing on it to make it a little bit worse.” Joey: “We’d throw sliced ham at him.” Acey: “I’d pour honey on his nutsack, and then let ants eat it off.”

Louise: What do you guys think of the UK music scene? Wednesday: “Well, we’re a local band here now, since we’re always over here. It seems to be pretty cool.” Acey: “I like the music scene here better, truthfully. It just seems that people are a little bit more open-minded, you’ve got bands that a little bit older like The Wildhearts and we’ve always had good support bands like AntiProduct and The 80s Matchbox B-Line Disaster, who are really cool.”

Rebecca: How have your families taken to your career paths? Joey: “My parents have always supported me from day one. I’m still the same person, my mom still makes me take out the trash and mow the lawn. She lives in her Murderdolls and Slipknot gear. She wears it every day. She’ll go to the grocery store and these kids’ll come along and go, “You like Slipknot?’. And she’ll go, ‘Oh yeah’. Now she gets free groceries.” Ben: “My parents have always been very supportive of whatever I’ve done. I’m not going to sit here and say that my childhood was traumatic and I hated my parents and all the crap that other bands come out with, because that’s just not true.” Acey: “My mom’s very proud, very very proud of me. My dad, on the other hand, disowned me. So fuck him.” Eric: “My mom came to see us and she wore Devil horns.”

Matthew: What are the three most important things you take on tour with you? Ben: “Our make-up. Our clothes. And rubbers.” Eric: “Spoken like a true ghoul!”

Michael: Your songs are quite sarcastic, but are any of them based on real-life experiences? Wednesday: “No, not at all. I think the only song on the album that had any personal theme, was ‘Dressed To Depress’. The bands that I’ve always grown up on, I didn’t want to go to a concert and be reminded of the bullshit in my life, if I hated school or was angry with my parents. I’ve always compared our band to a TV or a movie or something, you get lost in it. Bands that keep singing about bad childhoods or trauma or politics, it gets old after a while.” Ben: “I think it’s more about escapism than real life.” Wednesday: “So no real grave-robbing stories yet? (listens to music playing in the background) Oh God, is that Nickelback?” Ben: “How would you know that? That’s bad that you know that.” Wednesday: “I know, I’m sorry.” Eric: “I think that there’s a lot of kids that really relate to us, and feel like they have a lot more in common with us than with their parents or their friends at school.” Ben: “Or Nickelback.”

Richard: If you weren’t making music, what would you be doing now? Joey: “I would just try to get as close to anything musical as possible, by being a tech or working in the studio. Music is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do since I was really young – I’m just lucky I get to actually do it now.” Eric: “I think I’d probably open a strip club. A brothel or something.” Ben: “If I wasn’t doing music, I’d probably be doing something art-oriented.” Acey: “What do ghouls do? What is a ghoul?” Ben: “What’s a ghoul? That’s a good one.” Wednesday: “Don’t you rob graves and beat on poor people?” Acey: “I would maybe be a manager. I mean, I can barely manage my own life, so that would be kind of a tough one.” Eric: “In all seriousness it’s an impossible question to answer because music is more of a life than a job. Our whole lives just revolve around music. It’s part of who we are, so I can’t even imagine not being able to play music.”

Louise: What object will be on the top of your Christmas tree? Wednesday: “I have a Jack Skellington doll on the top of my Christmas tree at home. I always do that every year. I don’t want Santa Claus, or an angel, or a star or anything stupid like that.” Acey: “I got a fake tree that I’m going to spraypaint black. It’s one of the little ones. I’ll spray it in my apartment and get a buzz painting it.” Ben: “I didn’t have a Christmas tree last year, so I’m not sure.” Acey: “That’s because you’re a ghoul.” Wednesday: “What about getting the ghoul and painting him green and standing him on our bus. His hair is like pipe-cleaners…” Acey: “And he’s already got balls hanging…”

Richard: If you could be on an ideal tour, who would be supporting you? Wednesday: “I would love to have AFI support us. That’s probably the only band out right now that I can listen to all the time.” Acey: “Andrew W.K. would be pretty cool. He likes to party.” Wednesday: “We played a gig with Andrew in Japan and he’s a really cool guy and has a lot of fun and I really respect what he’s done and that would be a cool tour.” Ben: “The Donnas, but I think they’re afraid to talk to us.”

Matthew: If you could choose one person, who would you like most to resurrect from the dead? Wednesday: “Vincent Price. I’d just love to have dinner with that guy and just talk to him.” Acey: “Joey Ramone.” Ben: “Brigitte Bardot.” Wednesday: “(correcting his bandmate). Bardoo.” Acey: “Bardow!” Kerrang!: Brigitte Bardot is alive. Eric: “You fucking ghoul. I told you we were stupid.” Ben: “The one Anton LaVey had an affair with then – what was her name? Jane Mansfield.” Wednesday: “Next question!” Ben: “Yeah, let’s move on.”

Michelle: What would your ideal Christmas presents to each other be? Acey: “I’d buy Joey and Wednesday Les Pauls. The Ghoul? What do you buy a ghoul? Wednesday: “A box of magnums. I’d buy Joey a 12-pack of Corona with the lemons… All: “The limes!” Wednesday: “The limes already in ‘em. I’d buy Acey shares in Starbucks franchise. I’d get him a coffee-smelling kimono, or a fucking scarf, so if he couldn’t find coffee it (sic), he’d just inhale it.” Ben: “I’d buy Wednesday a big bucket of KFC.” Acey: “I’d buy him a chicken ranch.” Ben: “Actually, I lost my mind back in the summertime, I’d like to open up a present and get that back.”

Michelle: Acey, was it a strain for you joining after Tripp Eisen left? Acey: “You know you were asking what I would like on Christmas morning? Well truthfully, and for the first time in my life I really have everything that I want. And I’m not just talking shit – I’m in a band that’s gone around the world, that I love, I got a computer – so what more do I need? Some more ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ toys! They hate me, by the way.” Wednesday: “I’ve known Acey for a long time, before he was ever in Dope or I met Joey. So, it was kinda weird how everything worked out. Us starting a band together was a long time in the coming.”

Rebecca: What is the most rock ‘n’ roll Christmas you’ve ever had? Joey: “I think this one will probably be the most, since with Slipknot, the band’s not heavily indulging in everything, and it’s not like the more free-spirited atmosphere I have with these guys. We’re playing a New Year’s Eve show in my hometown, so we’re just going to probably get drunk and get ready for the show. What do you think about that answer Wednesday?” Wednesday: “It was great.” Joey: “Thank you.”

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

The podcast assumed that Patrick lived outside of Philly because the location tagline in the film was mis-timed. They would know that if they'd even bothered to watch the commentary.

It has occurred to me that in my judgement of that podcast's lack of research, I accidentally also cast judgement on you for not knowing the explanation as well. I do apologize! I appreciate the work you put into your blog! I have long been frustrated with the lack thereof on that podcast and their adament denial of other perspectives. I spoke harshly without realizing the implications.

Hi anon!

First of all, 0 worries! I did not take it that way, and if this has anything to do with my response time, please know I tend to get back to things in

But let's talk about Patrick's house!

As I mentioned, I've only listened to the first, maybe three episodes of the National Treasure Hunt podcast. That is not necessarily a reflection on the podcast, I just only really have space in my life and brain for one (1) podcast at a time and for the past few years it's been Scriptnotes.

I think it's awesome that there even is a National Treasure podcast. They even had some of the writers on? As someone who spends Too Much Time Thinking About National Treasure™ I think it is immensely cool that two whole other people also wanted to spend Too Much Time Thinking About National Treasure™ to the point of making, at the time of writing this, 80 episodes of a podcast about it!

That said, yeah I was surprised by how adamantly the hosts believed, at least in the episodes that I listened too, that Patrick's house is outside of Philadelphia, not outside of D.C. That just...doesn't track with the film the way I'm reading its conventions of establishing time and place.

Let's explore.

The first mention of Ben's dad comes in minute 55 when Ben says:

BEN Yeah, but I didn't think I was gonna personally have to tell my dad about it.

From there the film cuts to the FBI entering Ben's apartment and finding the Silence Dogood letters, then jumps off the letters to Ian's crew figuring out the Silence is a name, then returns to the FBI so they can tell us what the Silence Dogood letters are. Only then do we cut to Team Treasure pulling up outside of Patrick's house.

So I get it, a lot is going on.

There's also this exchange:

RILEY Well, how long do you think we got? BEN I'm gonna give them a couple of hours at least. I hope.

I see how this could be interpreted to mean that Ben and Co have already traveled a couple of hours away from where the FBI is searching, thus giving them the lead. I don't think that's correct though, for a few reasons.

Mainly, as we discussed in the timeline articles, the FBI can travel much faster by helicopter than Ben and the gang can travel by car. So even though narratively it has to be Sadusky arriving at the house--it can't be some new person from the Philadelphia field office, that's not satisfying--that can very plausibly happen.

I interpret that buffer to be the amount of time Ben thinks/hopes it will take the FBI to track down who his father is and where he lives. Remember it's 2004, so everyone's lives are less public than they are now. Ben hasn't spoken to his father in some time, so it's not like they'll have a bunch of phone records connecting Ben to a landline at Patrick's address or anything like that. It will take them some research to identify Patrick and find out were he is.

But also, nothing else suggests that we have left the setting of D.C. that we're currently in. It's the same general time (night) and the characters are in the same clothes. There's also no chyron telling us we've changed times or places. None of the film language here is suggesting that we've changed locations.

Then Team Treasure reveals the cypher, and Ben asks for the letters. Patrick replies:

PATRICK I don't have them. BEN Where are they? PATRICK I donated them to the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. BEN Time to go.

The introduction of "Philadelphia" here is a new concept to the story. Before this moment, everything post-Charlotte has taken place in Washington D.C. It would be unusual if we were supposed to already know the characters were now outside of Philadelphia when this pronouncement takes place. If we were--and if they were already nearby--I think it's less likely that Patrick would say "in Philadelphia" at the end of his statement. If they're near Philly, then it would just be "I donated them to the Franklin Institute" for the same reason the chyron outside the FBI building only reads "J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building" not "J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building, Washington D.C." Because the movie has firmly established that we are in Washington D.C. already.

Also, I'm supposed to believe a movie built on montages of American iconography is going to let us transition to a new city without at least one establishing shot?

And finally, Philadelphia is introduced as a problem for Ben. If they are outside of Philadelphia it's annoying, sure, and they'll still need to send Riley, but it's less of a race against the clock than if they're in D.C. If they're still in Washington when Patrick says this, then not only will they have to find a way to examine the letters without being spotted, but they're now also looking at a 2 1/2 hour drive they haven't planned for. And at least to me, that's what the movie is implying: that a whole additional leg of this journey has been added.

In defense of the podcasters, and anyone else who reads the film this way, I don't think you should have to listen to the commentary to understand a change in location. The film should be readable on its own.

Buuuuuut I do still think it's an unusual way to read the film, given the conventions for changing location we're shown throughout the movie, and in film language in general.

For good measure, let's look at all the chyrons and location changes.

The movie opens with the chyron "Washington, D.C 1974." This is important because we have no establishing shot to tell us about the time or the place, and it's important to know it's a flashback. As for D.C., that sets the stage for the theme of the movie and gets us thinking "American government, American history."

It also suggests to me that Ben's family has always lived in Washington D.C., because he, his grandfather, and the OG Gates all did, so why wouldn't Patrick?

The Arctic Circle gets one, because we are dramatically changing times and places.

Washington D.C. doesn't get another chyron when Ben and Riley return there, but a montage of the National Mall over the soaring NatTreas score makes it very clear where we are. The chyrons for the FBI building and the National Archives follow shortly after.

There isn't another chyron until the gang is headed into Philadelphia via the Ben Franklin Bridge, again with recognizable iconography to back it up.

This clearly suggests--to me anyway--that they have not moved out of the D.C. area until now. And the rest of the film language reinforces this. D.C. has been the heist and gala sequences at night; Philadelphia is the Independence Hall sequence in the daytime. The time of day changes, the costumes change, and the objective changes. We've moved from "get the Declaration" to "find the treasure." These all suggest a clear division of the film into segments, and having the team already have traveled to PA in the dark would muddy that otherwise very neat divide.

One last theory

Finally, I think there's one more piece of evidence that Patrick's house is in D.C....I think it's the same house from the beginning of the movie.

Granted, I have no direct evidence for this, but I do have subtext.

Next time?

Oh and if it makes anybody feel better, Patrick's house does get a chyron in Book of Secrets.

These two shots are shown back go back. It would completely go against film conventions to show a chyron for D.C. and then jump to somewhere that is not D.C., therefore Patrick's house is pretty definitively in or around Washington D.C.

Thank you so much for your asks, anon! I hope this was fun, and I'm glad you appreciate my blog. Feel free to send another any time.

Also, I will put the commentary on my radar for future articles!

[this-acuteneurosis]

I kind of want to get you started on mind tricks. cause like weak minded to strong minded dynamic and the blur away, but also the sith back in the day were for SURE a Caste system of force sensitive rulers and non force sensitives, and the jedi were their ENEMY off and on for thousands of years, cultural bleed through and dynamics of their own power systems but Ben we are not the droids you are looking for go away so I dont have to kill you, versus Qui hey I want this thing trade it for me.

Alright, Oct anon, it's been a while, but I have not forgotten you definitely forgot this ask in my drafts for who even knows how many months but it's found again, whoo!

It's taken me a while to get this together partly to try and arrange my thoughts in a logical order but also...

Guys, I really, really care about the use of agency in stories. Like, I've ranted about it in relation to droids, I've explained some of my problems with it in the context of the thematic changes between the OT and the PT, I stew over it constantly in my brain, it's a central theme of many of my own stories (including DLB).

I really don't like mind control, and not just in Star Wars.

Now, just because I don't like a thing doesn't mean it doesn't have a place in story telling. As a device, mind control/manipulation can be useful or important to a plot. To a theme. Overcoming it can be powerful or cool (Ella Enchanted-I prefer the novel personally, Tanjiro in Demon Slayer: Mugen Train), watching someone succumb to it can be agonizing (Frodo in Return of the King, anyone? Princess Euphemia in Code Geass?).

So, what is the point of Mind Tricks (and that naming choice, "trick," making it sound almost...harmless) in the Star Wars story, and maybe in the universe?

I feel like in its initial reveal, the mind trick was supposed to a) convey how "magical" Jedi were and b) get the plot from point A to B. Obi-Wan waves his hand, someone believes something hideously untrue, move along move along, don't think about it too hard.

Like, literally, audience, please. Don't.

Luke uses it in RotJ for pretty much the same reason. To convery a) Luke is well on his way to being a "magical" Jedi now (oh but wait, there's more character growth he needs!), and b) Luke needs to get into Jabba's palace and why would they let him in? Because he says so, so we will take him to Jabba now. Move along, move along.

I don't like the implications of this power existing, and as an adult who has been in situation where I have to report to higher powers, the disregard of the consequences of these things are a bit darker if I look too closely, but like...move along, I guess. It's fine as long as we're only using these powers on space nazis and slavers. Right?

Except then we get more movies. And cartoons. It's fine if Obi-Wan mind controls a person into not smoking, right? Smoking is Bad and Obi-Wan is Good.

Only.

Only...

Who taught Obi-Wan to use mind tricks?

Ah yes, my old nemesis.

To all you Qui-Gon fans out there, you may wanna leave. This analysis is probably not for you.

So like, Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon "I'm friends with the current Chancellor and thus an obvious, notable representative of the Jedi Order but I don't get along with my higher ups" Jinn. The thing you have to understand about my opinion of him is that, as a young, first time watcher of TPM, I liked him. He was funny, irreverent, direct. He was wise, or at least seemed to know things no one else did. He was a maverick, ready to go against all orders and advice for what he knew was right. And everyone around him was just stuffy and uninformed.

And to be fair, he wasn't wrong about everything. He's set up to be sympathetic. He's trying to treat with the gungans and they won't listen? Well he and Obi-Wan are right, the Trade Federation does go for the gungans. The Order says there are no Sith? Oops, wrong on that one. The Council makes the ambiguous assertion Anakin is "too old" to train. We've seen the OT. We know "too old" is nonsense.

But like, what does Qui-Gon do when he's thwarted?

He takes away people's agency.

Oh, you don't want to help us, Boss Nass, political leader? Cool, well I'm gonna undermine you in front of your entire court and you're gonna give us a whole ship (that we won't return) to help us defend a people you've been in an active war with for centuries. Oh, my currency doesn't work on this planet? I think it will mister small time junk dealer with a gambling problem (jokes on you for that one, sir).

This to me is a huge red flag in a story that is about literal slaves. I know people will defend the above examples. It was necessary. There were lives at stake.

You wanna know who would have suffered if Qui-Gon had been able to con Watto out of that part?

Anakin and Shmi.

Worthless (or event mostly worthless) currency on a planet where you have to buy water is literal death under the right circumstances. And who do you think Watto's going to reduce rations on. He's got cash flow problems? What's the quickest way for him to make back what he just lost? I'll give you a hint, he gambles on them later in the exact same movie.

So like, well before we get to "weak minded" or anything dubious like that, there's this awkward question of, "Why are the good guys always using powers to make people do things? And not worried about the consequences?"

And like, if we go back to simple story narratives, and trying to move things from point A to point B, that's fine I guess. I enjoy the OT. I'll move along.

But if you ask me to stop and think about it.

Well...