#believe it or not i am HORRIBLY distracted when it is different because now there's another change in stimuli

[maryibgarry102]

Hey tumblr can you change the usernames on the mobile feed back to the regular font size cause they're TOO DANG SMALL

[littledeathdove]

Obsessed Mother Miranda…obsessed over you. This has clogged my brain so I must cleanse it by ranting about it.

This whole situation is a ride that no one signs up for willingly — that’s a lie, I know many who would bark to sign up — but why wouldn’t anyone want this situation?

Because Miranda is someone who loves her whole flesh, bones, brain, and soul. I mean look at how she is with Eva and that will tell you your answer. When she wants you, she is going to get you no matter how long it takes or what it takes.

And if she has to take away things she deems as distractions from her claiming your whole being as hers, she will. Even if it means the people you love.

Enough of that though, let’s talk about what happens after you got your ass in this. First off you will start to notice some differences around the village. The crows that are seen as a symbol of protection in the village — that and also goats — are now acting odd…as in they are fucking watching you. Now you would think, hey maybe am just overthinking this. The crows watch everyone and listen to everything, and you aren’t any more special than the other villagers to be stalked by these crows. Or are you?

Another thing about the crows, they are now starting to follow you. There’s no overacting to this because you can see them in the corner of your eye, hopping from roof to roof, following you. Not anyone else, because you’re the only one currently walking down this path. While the seeing crows watching people from above are a common thing and in fact are seen as an indirect sign of Mother Miranda’s presence and protection. It’s not common at all to be followed by these crows. Or at least no one else has talked about such experiences before.

So why is it happening to you? You can’t express any concern you have since everyone in the village will think you are just lucky. So now you not only have to worry about these crows watching and likely listening to you, but you also have to worry about them following you. And you swear you see one outside of your window one night. Looking directly in the direction of your bed, you swear it is watching you sleep. You don’t know if it knows you see it and are surely now awake, but after you move a little too much, the crow flies off.

The only time you get a break from this is when you are in a building with not that many windows, or when you are attending Mother Miraqnda’s services. Speaking about the services, they are even starting to feel an…uncomfortable feeling of being watched. You don’t know why, especially since when you look around it seems that everyone is watching and looking at Mother Miranda. You don’t notice it yet though, but the same woman who has everyone’s attention is giving all of her attention — mostly just a majority of it — to you.

You don’t know that the same woman that you have been taught and trained to believe in, has been stalking you, observing you, and planning. What is she planning? No idea, likely if you will make a good vessel for her daughter. I mean why else would someone like you be giving this certain feeling in her chest, why you become a part of her thoughts if you aren’t the perfect vessel?

But with that same unknown feeling burning up in Miranda’s chest, comes another feeling every time she thinks about kidnapping you when she has the perfect opportunity — and this feeling isn’t so unknown. She knows this feeling, oh yes, it’s a feeling of guilt the same feeling she feels when she thinks of her daughter’s death. Miranda doesn’t understand this, she doesn’t understand you.

This makes it even worse for you, because now Miranda is even more curious, she needs to understand why you caught her attention out of all the villagers, why she feels this disgusting and horrible feeling of guilt when she tries to give you the same fate many villagers had before you. She needs to fully understand all of this for then she can go back to her normal.

After getting ready and dressed up for the weekly service Mother Miranda is holding today, and after dealing with the crows watching you and following you from your home to the church, you finally make it inside the church and the service starts. It didn’t take long for that uncomfortable feeling of being stared at to appear again, but this time you were determined to see who had been watching you throughout these services. You turn your eyes in all directions, looking around while trying to not bring attention to what you are doing. Finally, you catch the eyes that have been burning holes in your body during this service.

You would have never suspected it to be the cold, lightless eyes of Mother Miranda.

Making eye contact with her sent a shiver down your spine like her blue eyes were ice sickles that were aiming to give you frostbite. And the fact she takes at least a good few seconds to look away makes you almost piss yourself. While you are scared out of your mind shitless, Miranda is internally smirking at how you seemed so scared of her gaze on you. Amusing.

You knew deep down in your gut that her looking at you for that long, even if it was a few minutes, didn’t mean anything good. Even if it should…

Those are just a few things that happen as Miranda is slowly becoming obsessed with you. Now I wish to talk about how her personality traits clash with the obsession she has with you. You can find the personality trait analysis/rant I did on Mother Miranda in this post. Anyway on to it!

Mother Miranda is manipulative, she likely changes certain aspects of herself…

Let me go ahead and just say this. You’re not getting away from Miranda’s manipulative behavior, never in a million years will you be able to. Miranda’s manipulation is what leads you to believe that any of Miranda’s concerning or bad actions towards you are completely fine and you are just overthinking.

Miranda isn’t the best person, and she knows this. And she knows that her bad actions could cause you to start leaning away from her, and she can’t have that now. So she will sweet talk you into believing that her doing things like being aggressive towards you at times and stalking you (even when she is out of her crow) is fine. All just so she can keep you to herself.

Miranda is definitely the type of manipulator to give you attention and then suddenly take it away when you do something she deems wrong. Why? Because she needs to train you dear. She has high expectations out of you because she sees you as a lover — a high status if I must tell — so she does this to get you back straight and give you a reminder why you should obey her and act right. You won’t see her crows watching or following you. She won’t talk to you like at all nor will she look at you. She is the perfect player when it comes to giving people silent treatment so trust you’re going to feel affected by this sudden change.

This is perfect for Miranda because that means her small plan is working. When she finally decides to give you attention again, you will soak it up, fight tooth and nail, and be so obedient just to keep her attention. Just like how she wants you to be when it comes to her, and only her alone.

Miranda also loves to remind you of how she is the one protecting you, and how special the privilege is because you have the luck to be protected by such a person like herself. This is another manipulation tactic that she uses to make it seem like you have a debt towards her and because of it, you are obligated to be fine with how she treats and acts towards you. And to also keep you acting right because she could take that protection away and leave you to the wolves. (Not like she would though, she is too infuriated with you to do such a thing)

Mother Miranda is selfish, she doesn’t care about the people in the village…

Miranda’s selfishness is what causes you to slowly lose friendships, relationships with family, and even normal socialization with other villagers. Miranda doesn’t like the idea of you being too close to anyone else, why though? Miranda doesn’t believe others should have what belongs to her, and like I said before she will remove the things she deems as distractions from you giving all your attention to her.

She doesn’t believe others deserve the same rights of getting your attention, love, or energy. No, she doesn’t think of your feelings about doing this. No, she doesn’t think about the feelings of the people she is slowly removing from your life. They don’t matter, her wants and dreams do, and she wants you all to herself like a child wants a local toy for themselves alone.

Miranda will also have you doing things that you don’t want to do simply because of how selfish she is. For example: Miranda will likely have you learn about human anatomy and how to do small surgeries on bodies because she wants you to for then she has an extra hands on deck for speeding up experiments. Be creeped out all you want, whine and complain about it, and tell her you wish to stop it doesn’t matter since she wants you to be doing this. So you are going to honey.

Mother Miranda is a perfectionist, she doesn’t settle for anything less….

Miranda's perfectionist trait is what causes you to keep your physical appearance looking good. And that is also what has you gaining more confidence about your looks. Ok listen, Miranda doesn’t hate anything about your body. She is just too obsessed with you to hate anything about you, and that is why she thinks you are perfect. That is also her excuse on why she is obsessed with you (she doesn’t call it obsession though). Something so perfect has to be made specifically for her. There’s the perfectionist in her talking.

With that said, what I mean by her being a perfectionist about your looks is that she fixes up your appearance so then you can continue to look perfect. Like she smooths out your clothes when she notices wrinkles, she fixes your hair if it’s out of place, small things like that. These small things she does have you gaining the habit of looking for these small things and fixing them before she can.

Miranda also has high expectations for you as a lover because of how much of a perfectionist she is. For example, for you to listen to her and obey what she tells you to do, and finish up the chores she gave you around the house, etc

You and Miranda do get into arguments once in a while due to her getting upset when you don’t reach her standards all of the time. Again because of the perfectionist behavior.

Mother Miranda is sadistic, I believe that woman like seeing people in pain.…

You are a part of those people. The face Miranda makes when she sees you scrunching your face up in pain and whimpering from the feeling — is just downright off-putting.

The love of seeing you in pain only intensifies because she is obsessed/in love with you. So hopefully you can take on a great amount of pain because you’re going to be feeling it way more often now.

Here is the deal breaker though, Miranda is the only one who can inflict pain upon you. Anyone else does it, they will be having their head rolling in seconds after she finds out. It doesn’t matter if it is a villager, a lord, or a damned animal. If they hurt you then they are better off dead.

Mother Miranda is a nerd, sharp turn there, but it’s true…

If Miranda allows you in her lab and allows you to partake in the experiments of the mold, you will soon see a side of Miranda that you never thought existed. A side of her that talks almost nonstop, and if you look more closely you will notice she has a small bit of childish excitement laced in her expressions. This only happens when she is talking about the mold and the success she has experienced in her experiments.

Another thing, you are going to have to lead the conversation for at least three minutes before she takes it over, and it’s also going to have to be about the mold or something scientific.

Though you are likely the only one able to get her to start talking about things first, and have it be not about mold shit.

Miranda will also likely learn a lot about you and become somewhat of a nerd when it comes to you. She could tell someone almost anything they would like to know about you — not like she would though — that’s how bad it is.

She will probably slip up sometimes and tell you something even you don’t know about yourself.

Mother Miranda is unpredictable, you can’t have a set idea of how you believe Miranda operates…

Miranda’s unpredictability is the “fun” part of this whole situation and is what makes it harder to believe if she loves you or not.

One day Miranda is doing what you expect from a lover. Acting sweet towards you, being more touchy than usual, and telling you how you are hers. Then the next day comes and she is acting the exact opposite. She is still possessive but she is more isolated in her feelings, barely giving you attention, brushing you off, and telling you to leave her be.

It’s so confusing but it’s simply how Miranda operates because she just lives behind masks. It’s not that her feelings for you are a mask or a front, but it’s more like they are making Miranda get too comfortable and distracted from her life mission. So she will put on a mask of not wanting you so then she can avoid those feelings she believes to be pulling her away from what she needs to do.

The funny thing is that even on those opposite days, Miranda will still call you her’s. Just this time it seems like she is saying you belong to her just as the other villagers belong to her. Not in the romantic way you are used to.

Another thing about Miranda’s unpredictability is that it can determine how your day goes. If she — for some reason — decides to act more distant that day, that means your day is likely to be fucked up. You are going to be stuck doing chores, wondering why Miranda is acting this way now, and being bored out of your mind because Miranda isn’t allowing you near her.

But if she is in that lovely romantic mood, your day is destined to be good. Miranda will appear behind you randomly and just be touchy for no reason. And then she will go back to her lab like nothing happened. If you have gotten to the point of the relationship where she trusts you in her lab, then you are to not leave her side after you are done with chores. Miranda will also give you more attention that day and be more talkative towards you.

Unfortunately, you can’t expect what you are going to get until you get it because Miranda is good at hiding feelings when she wants to. So until you do something to get a reaction out of her, you won’t know what type of day you’re going to have. All due to her unpredictability.

Mother Miranda is bat-shit insane, there is no denying it because it’s just one of her main personality traits…

This woman will do the craziest shit to have you. Am not joking. She would go as far as transforming into a little kid and bragging about herself in front of you to just get you to be more impressed by her true self.

I could imagine her disguised as a child skipping away after she is satisfied and convinced that you see her in a much better light now after she just praised on and on about how good Mother Miranda is.

Like you would think this woman has limits, but when she is obsessed with you to the point it’s right there with how much she obsesses over Eva, there are no limits she won’t cross.

I could imagine her coming to you as she would to any other villager before she kidnaps you to be her lover. Telling you how you are special and giving you a gift because of it. Telling you to set it in a specific spot in your room since this gift has as much special value as you do. This gift is likely to allow her to watch you even better now when she can’t have her eyes on you. (She got tired of the messy views she sees of you from the windows of your bedrooms when she is in crow from.)

This woman has no bounds, so think of the craziest shit you think someone obsessed with someone else would do, and likely Miranda has or will do it.

Hm, yeah I think that is enough ranting for now. I was going to rant way more but I don’t want to get off track from the original topic. Which I was close to doing multiple times. Anyway, this is just another long rant that I didn’t mean to make this long in the first place. I don’t understand how in the world I can write so much so easily when ranting but not when writing fanfics 😔. It’s actually so confusing.

Hmm, I wonder what I should rant about next 🧐

[strangeshadowdreamer]

"Venom 3" is in November 2020; Venom & Eddie knew each other only 3 months

and other stuff that refers to "Venom" movies timeline and was horribly messed up in the 3rd part

This is an answer to the post (https://www.tumblr.com/purplegazania/766419426998452224?source=share )

@purplegazania Hi! It's great that you pay attention to such details! But I’m afraid the events of "Venom 3" take place in 2020. But maybe «September 20» didn’t happen in their universe

And is definitely not June at all

In "Venom 2" we [film viewers] were shown that Eddie writes an article about Cletus Kasady. At the top of the app he is writing in a date was written. It is fuzzy, but recognizable: 10.29.20. You may need to search for high-definition video to see it yourself. I am not sure if tumblr compresses pictures in posts. It is a US style of date, so it stands for 29 th of October 2020. This is an exact date officially stated in the movie.

And we can also see that Eddie is also about to miss his deadline —  30th of October 2020. So the date was mentioned in two different places.

Probably, it’s one of the reasons why he was so irritated about Venom distracting him – Eddie had little time to finish his article.

It is the night when they come to Mrs. Chen for chocolate, deal with that bag robber and receive a phone call from Ann. They arrange to meet with Annie «Tomorrow night», which is 30th of October night. And at the night after this one they have a fight and Venom runs away. It is the 31st of October night. It is substantiated by the fact that Venom turns up at a costume party, which actually is Halloween. (I noted that in my post earlier https://www.tumblr.com/strangeshadowdreamer/701134805977432064/venom-at-halloween-party?source=share )

Here is the timeline for «Venom 2»

And then things start to happen really fast. Frances Barrison and Cletus unite, kidnap Ann and the whole scene at the Grace Cathedral happens. Pretty long night, huh

So back to the question about Christmas in June

Events in "Venom" (2018) take place in early autumn or late summer, judging by the leaves on trees (but definitely really late summer as weather is a bit chilly - Eddie wears a coat, and I think it's not that chilly in California in the middle of summer, so I believe it to be early autumn).

And now when I put together the early autumn at the end of «Venom» (2018) and 29-31 of October events of «Venom 2» it seems like a month period. And it fits. This time period is just perfect length.

This time period is short enough to explain why Venom and Eddie’s relationship is so raw (because they spent like a month together only)

And this time period is also short enough to explain why with such different attitudes towards life (I mean quiet journalism and «Living in peace» VS «fighting bad guys and eating them») haven’t let to a major quarrel before the events of «Venom 2» - because it was like a month long and they were just patient and accumulated the irritation

And this period is long enough to explain Ann’s phrase about her being sorry for not returning Eddie’s calls because she needed some time after «Alien biting a guy’s head off thing». I think that judging from Ann’s character a month is just long enough time for her to recover from what happened

Events in "Venom 2" take place around Halloween (I have already explained that above). And it seems to me that Eddie and Venom fled from San Francisco within a few days after the fight in Grace Cathedral. That is because if police blame Eddie for that, Venom and Eddie wouldn't have stayed in San Francisco significantly longer in order not to get caught. Plus, police call a helicopter, so they consider stuff happening in the Cathedral really serious and will waste no time looking for Eddie. So, between Grace cathedral scene and the beach scene, barely a few days passed.

And again, it feels like only a few days passed between the the beach scene and that scene where they were watching a tv show and teleportations started. So «Venom» (2018) and «Venom 2» are fully time-coordinated.  But let’s put a bookmark here🔖

It seems to me that 0 days passed since that first teleportation of theirs until the events of "Venom 3". And the events of «Venom 3» happen within just a few days.

It all happened pretty soon after 31 st of October, therefore, in November (which is pretty warm in Mexico). I mean, I talk about a period measured in DAYS between «Venom 2» Cathedral scene and «Venom 3» events. So, between that Halloween party in "Venom 2" and events of "Venom 3" about a few days passed. Let’s say a week. -> 31st of October + week = beginning of November. And that makes it a perfect time to wear a Christmas tree pin (Christmas is on 25th of December), but makes all the characters’ phrases about time nonsensical.

Lets return to the bookmark. 🔖 Basically, time between the beach scene and tv watching scene is the only gap where a few additional six (6!) months can theoretically be pushed into. But do you really think that Eddie and Venom spent a part of November, a whole December, January, February, March, April, May and some part of June in Mexico between the beach scene and that scene where they were watching a tv show and teleportations started? This is too much of a stretch to me, because:

Their relationship didn’t change at all, just as they didn’t communicate all the suggested half a year in Mexico. But if they did spend half a year in Mexico, I believe that they would have improved their relationship, and this would have been visible, especially after the progress they’ve made in «Venom 2»

They stayed in a small, quiet place in Mexico (for the obvious reason of (a) hiding from police and (b) finding a place with not many people so that Venom could show himself outside without causing panic or attracting unwanted attention). Venom would have gotten bored there really quickly.

2.1) Venom spent like a month (between Drake’s rocket explosion and «Venom 2» [early autumn] and fight at the apartment [31st of October]) in busy San Francisco with all kinds of entertainment (playing video games (see https://www.tumblr.com/wonderingaroundsworld/704834634551328769/venom-and-eddie-have-gamepads-to-play-together?source=share ), adoring his chickens Sonny and Cher in their own small house (see https://www.tumblr.com/wonderingaroundsworld/704459258987757568?source=share ), helping Eddie with his job, visiting bowling multiple times (Venom while holding that bag robber said that he can use the robber’s head for bowling and asked Eddie to name the one that they like. Eddie replied: «Lucky strike») and lots of other stuff). I can’t imagine him being fine with sitting at the same spot for more than half a year. He would have quickly talked Eddie into going somewhere. For example, to New York. And this is exactly what he did in «Venom 3».

2.2) And Venom never complained that he had to do nothing and be stuck in the same place for half a year. He didn’t say anything like «We have been sitting here for more than half a year. Let’s go at least somewhere» when he suggested going to New York. I think that if Venom had to spend nearly ~6,5 months in a boring place, he would have used it as an argument to persuade Eddie to leave the place.

This is why ~6,5 additional months don’t fit anywhere at all.

Here are approximate calculations

So

«Venom» (2018) takes place in early autumn, «Venom 2» on 29-31 of October, post credits scenes occur within a week starting from 31st of October, «Venom 3» events take a few days, therefore are approximately in November.

«Venom 3» can’t be taking place in June

Eddie and Venom have known each other for like three months

[secretpostsposts]

Brooooo at this point I'm literally trying to find out EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME of your obsessive brozone au. I AM ADDICTED🤣

So say if the special juice(I forgot how to spell it) doesn't work when jd makes branch drink during the fight. Because maybe over those 20 years of learning how to survive branch went as far as training his body to handle and fight a variety of different poisons naturally found, one of them being the special juice. So it only really weakens him and slight blear of his mind but other than that he's fine. Now say branch just gags the juice into jd's face and he's like "ew🤢" so branch takes that opportunity to pin down and knock out jd. Not killing him but probably giving him a concussion. Now that jd is out of commission, and the juice doesn't really work on branch, what do the rest of the brothers do? If branch was able to take out jd who I believe to be the strongest in terms of combat among the brother, then the others wouldn't stand a chance. How do the rest of the brothers react to the situation? Especially floyd.

Belladonna Juice; and they certainly panic, what the hell has Branch been holding on to? Has he also mutated some part of his body? At this point they are just waiting for Branch's tail to turn into the tail of some scorpion or something like that.

Clay and Bruce take care of John Dory, and Branch just looks at his brothers with betrayal, because they are crazy enough to drug him with something dangerous, although this would only leave him with the question of who twisted the 4 of them so badly.

so while Branch watches over his 3 older brothers, they are a greater threat, Bruce and Clay may not be expert fighters or have the knowledge of how to fight, but Clay is smart, too smart, and Bruce is strong, he can carry to Clay, Floyd and Branch at the same time and not to mention that he is capable of carrying one of his hybrid children, Branch knows that they are a threat just as big as John Dory.

but they are so distracted trying to wake up JD (Branch can't help but think that John is the leader, even if each one thinks individually, his other brothers will follow John almost instinctively, like a pack thought, follow the strongest ).

So he is not paying attention to Floyd who is behind him, Floyd is still weak from his captivity, so Branch does not think of him as a threat per se.

Floyd on the other hand is mentally collapsing, his baby brother beat the older one, and Floyd knows what John is capable of, he has seen his brother do horrible things to other Trolls just for breathing the wrong way in the direction of any of them. .

has seen John kill someone…

But they are talking about Branch, his brother, the baby of the family, his reason for living, John is not capable of harming him, but Floyd knows that if they don't do something they will lose him forever.

Branch didn't see it coming, he was so focused on keeping an eye on the biggest threat that he didn't see the literal predator behind him.

Clay yelled at Floyd when he saw him.

Branch turned and.

CLANK

and Branch fell to the floor unconscious and bleeding from the head, Floyd was behind him holding (I don't know where they are so I assume it's the bunker) a shovel, panting from the effort.

Clay is in shock still holding an unconscious John, Bruce runs to Branch and holds him.

"Don't leave his room" was the only thing Floyd said.

I am taking advantage of this question to say this, yes John killed (body count 2), and he was possessive with his brothers too, but as the others arrived he had a small change of priorities, Floyd and Branch have been together for 10 years so during that At the time, Floyd was the center of his brothers' "care", he did not mind losing that attention (he was already somewhat disturbed by the time Branch was born, in fact he was glad to be able to experience the same thing as his brothers, being an older brother). , but Branch is the baby, he is important

[scoobydoodean]

hiiii! i see you have a bunch of different dean ships that you enjoy on occasion in your bio :D deanbela isn't there tho so i was wondering your opinion on that, if you have one?

Dean and Bela's relationship is fascinating! I meant to talk about it more when I was rewatching season 3 but got distracted and now my thoughts about them are like a bunch of bees swarming around I can't capture them all. But my god. The mutual hatred born through recognition of the self in the other. 🤌 "I hate myself. I am awful. And I accept that and it means I deserve to die." Coupled with "I don't deserve this fate. I don't deserve to be condemned because of the things that happened to me."

They squabble and fight and tell each other "You suck you're awful you're the worst person" but when Bela is drowning (and it's all her own fault and she condemned the other victims too so he's mad mad mad) Dean stops everything to just hold onto her so she doesn't die alone.

Their last conversation is horrible it's under horrible circumstances. Bela thought she just assassinated both of them to save her own skin but they saw her coming and now she knows she's going to die, and Dean is furious at her because she was going to kill them (and this isn't the first time she nearly got them killed) and he's furious also because he thinks "If you had just worked with us we could have saved you" but like... that is also Dean talking about himself? He spent the first part of season 3 refusing to aid in subverting his own approaching demise. He thought he deserved it. Bela thinks she deserves this too. But also they both know they don't? A part of them knows "I do not deserve to go to hell". But now it's too late. It's too late for Bela. It's too late for Dean.

BELA: The Demon that holds [your contract]. She holds mine too. She said she holds every deal. DEAN: She? BELA: Her name's Lilith. DEAN: Lilith? Why should I believe you? BELA: You shouldn't but it's the truth. DEAN: This can't help you, Bela, not now. Why you telling me this? BELA: Because just maybe you can kill the bitch. DEAN: I'll see you in hell.

He'll see her in hell. He knows he won't succeed. They're both going to lose. They won't even get the satisfaction of vengeance. They HATE each other but also they see themselves in each other and that's the biggest reason they hate each other but there's also this fragile whisper of affection in their interactions (seen most prominently in their delightful banter) and it's because deep down they both know they do not deserve this and they shouldn't hate themselves this much. They deserve to live.

[requiem4adrm]

Hey! I'm not sure of your rules, so pls disregard this if it goes against what you write, but could you write both Leon and Luis (separately) comforting a reader who used to self harm? Again, I completely understand if you're against writing that. Have a lovely day!

I hope your day was lovely as well! Thank you for this request, and I hope it meets your expectations!

WARNING: This post involves mentions of self-harm and suicidal thoughts so if you are sensitive to this DO NOT READ!

Leon Kennedy + Luis Serra x f! reader (past self-harm)

Leon:

You had been going out with Leon for a couple months now. He was basically the man of your dreams. Although you had spent such a long time together, you had never wanted to have sex or even show a lot of skin to him. He didn't mind this, he knew that when you were ready you would share these things with them, and never pressured you into anything.

Eventually, you finally caved and decided to try and be comfortable around him. You had invited him over and had decided to wear a short sleeve shirt and some pj shorts. You were feeling confident and courageous for deciding to trust him with this.

This was until you caught a glimpse in the mirror and saw all the faded scars that littered your skin. Your cheeks turned red and tears welled up in your eyes from the shame and embarrassment you felt.

"How could anyone love someone as messed up as this?" You thought to yourself.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you just stared at the broken skin, so distracted that you didn't hear Leon announce his presence.

He found you standing in front of the mirror crying, his eyes softening at the sight of your skin and the tears rolling down your face.

"Baby? What's wrong?", he said as he walked over to you.

"Go away Leon, you shouldn't see me like this." You sobbed to him.

"I'm not going anywhere, pretty girl, until I know what's got you so upset."

You turned to him and looked him in the eyes. His face was full of worry and concern, which only made you feel worse.

"This was supposed to be a good thing for me, Leon. I wanted to try and be more comfortable around you because even though you've told me not to rush anything, I wanted to prove to myself that I could stop covering up around you," You paused to catch your breath.

"But as soon as I saw myself it was like all the horrible thoughts came back to me. I was so close Leon. I feel so ugly, and ashamed, and-and I don't know what to do anymore." You wiped at your eyes to stop the tears but they just kept pouring the more you talked.

Leon was quiet as you spoke. Sadness casting over him at the sight of you sobbing your heart out.

"Can I hold you, pretty girl?" He asked gently. You shook your head yes and scrambled into his arms, where he wrapped you tight and rocked you back and forth.

"I want you to listen to me, baby, ok?" You nodded your head into his chest in reply.

"I want you to know how proud I am of you for trying for me. You are the bravest, most beautiful person I have ever met. I want you to know that I love every single piece of you, including the broken ones, and that my love will never change." You sniffled softly into his chest.

He gently grabbed your wrist and brought it to his face, giving each scar a feather-light kiss.

"I want you to know that your scars don't define you, that they just prove that you survived the darkest time in your life. Look at me, baby." You brought your eyes to his face.

He let go of you and began lifting up his shirt, showing you his torso littered with scars from countless missions and near-death encounters.

"Our scars tell a story. Different stories, but they both have the same ending; we won and survived. They show that we are strong and brave. I hope you believe me, and if you still aren't ready I'm not going to push you to do this for me. I love you either way." With that, he left a soft kiss on your forehead and wrapped his arms around you again.

You just couldn't understand how you found the most kind-hearted, beautiful soul to ever exist, and how he chose to give you his love.

"I love you so much, Leon." You whispered to him, feeling his arms go tighter around you in response. You both spent the rest of the night holding each other, finally at peace and basking in each other's love.

Luis:

You had been home with Luis when you decided to take a shower. He was taking a nap on the couch so you figured it would be the perfect time to wash up. You washed quickly, not wanting to wake him. 10 minutes later, you were stepping out and wrapping yourself in a towel. You made your way to his bedroom and began to dry off. You had just finished putting on your bra when the bedroom door swung upon.

You froze at the sound, eyes locked onto the doorway where Luis stood, mouth agape and eyes wide.

"I-I'm so sorry I didn't know you were in here!" He stuttered out.

Your heart began to race, your mind going a million miles an hour. You had wanted to show him your scars on your own terms, but now your secret was out forever. Your eyes watered slightly as you began to sniffle.

Luis noticed the change immediately and went from embarrassed to concerned in a second.

"Cariña, please don't cry. Come here." He grabbed the throw blanket from off the bed and wrapped you in it to help cover you up. You sank into his warm arms almost instantaneously; your anxiety lessening in his embrace.

"I've known the whole time, mi amor." He spoke softly.

"W-what? How-"

"When you sleep you tend to remove your clothes if you're too hot..."

You two sat in silence when all of a sudden you began to giggle. Luis followed suit and began to chuckle until the both of you were laughing.

"I can't believe this... I thought you never knew, and I was waiting to show you." You looked into his eyes as he smiled and brushed your hair behind your ear.

"I didn't want to tell you I found out, because I knew you would come to me when you were ready."

Your eyes watered again at what he told you. You couldn't possibly understand how there was anyone as kind and beautiful as Luis.

"I wanted to show you so bad, but I was so afraid you'd be disgusted with me." Luis's arms wrapped tighter around you at the thought of you being afraid to show him your deepest secret.

"I could never be disgusted with you, mi amor. To me, you are the most beautiful woman in the world. How could I ever be disgusted with the one thing I love most in this world?" He placed his palm on your cheek, his thumb rubbing gently on your face.

Tears slowly made their way down your face; you were so overjoyed, and feeling so loved by him that you didn't know what to do.

"I love you so much, Luis Serra. I don't think I'll ever feel as much love for another person as I do for you."

With that, he smiled and laid his forehead against yours, the both of you closing your eyes and just enjoying the moment. That night was the night you knew Luis Serra would be your husband for the rest of your life.

---

Hey yall! Hope you enjoyed this. I kinda took two different approaches to it and I wish I could've done better but I kinda ran out of steam when writing about Luis lol. I felt like I just rushed it a bit but oh well. Anyways, you guys have an amazing night/day whateva, and if u have a request plz submit it. I love seeing requests :3

[not-so-lost-after-all]

There Are Worse Things I Could Do

This little thing is inspired by Dicken's A Christmas Carol and visions of the past, the present and the future - all of them dark. After all, a romance with Astarion can go so horribly, horribly wrong...

Warnings: Nothing major, I believe. Canon appropriate violence and angst.

Word count: 3000

---

It's pouring cold, almost freezing rain the whole afternoon and the day is dark and gloomy, so everyone retreats to their tents. They all have their own things to ponder, after all, as they're getting closer and closer to the city. Esipre is bone tired, as it seems she has nothing to show for her troubles except for the pile of corpses. Her companions put so much faith in her but ask so few questions. Perhaps she should run, it's still time...

She's observant and that was what actually more often than not made her the leader of whatever group she was part of - that doesn't mean she decided it's essential to keep them all alive. Take Astarion for example. It would be so easy to make him do her bidding, everytime, all it takes is a gentle push.

And yet... she treated him with kindness, like a feral cat who is most certainly won over through food and warm touch. She was a fool. They both were. During their first night in the forest, she was drunk but the second time she realized he was just going through the motions he did countless times before. Squeezing her nipple, then kissing her neck, his learned moans of pleasure. He had to do all kinds of work for his old master, Esipre gathered. She tried to please him too, as she learned during her short time at one brothel, and now she has to bitterly laugh about what they both were doing. Surely he must have noticed too but neither of them spoke about it.

When she offered him her blood on the fourth day in the Shadow-cursed Lands because she couldn't stand the thought of him starving, he gave her one surprisingly soft look and quietly thanked her. Esipre did it two more times and each time it took a bigger toll on her. Her fingers were randomly going numb, her mind hazy and the bite marks took longer to heal. Her vampire had the hilarious idea of offering her sex again.

"Oh please, be serious for a moment," she said sternly. "Don't insult my intelligence. Or yours. I'm not even what you want. Go flirt with Wyll or talk to Lae'zel about Soně glorious slaughter."

That wretched land was behind them but even almost a tenday later she mostly avoids him. She looks at her still unnaturally cold fingers and sighs. Perhaps it's been a mistake after all. She doesn't need distraction anymore, she needs to focus. Maybe they are both broken but some broken things are just too sharp. Perhaps he's a broken piece too but from a different puzzle.

Esipre is still standing in the entrance of her tent, watching the dark sky as the raindrops slowly turn into unexpected snow flakes. Then she notices her vampire eying her from across the camp, silently asking for her invitation. She quickly ponders it, then nods gently. Dammit, she can't ignore him forever.

Inside her tent, she is greeted by the silver light of the moonlanter. Esipre immediately notices two ripe red apples on her bedroll. There's also something artistically arranged lying under the apples - a beautiful wine red shawl embroidered with black thread. She kneels and takes the fabric in her hands with stupid smile on her face.

"You like it?" Astarion is kneeling right next her without her even noticing. And to her amusement, he grins like a proud cat.

"Of course. Was there crime involved while obtaining this beauty?"

"Ah. Maybe a little crime but nothing you should bother your lovely head with, darling." He grows more serious and suddenly seems to avoid her eyes. "You're almost as pale as I am and I can't exactly give you any warmth. Thought this could be a gift you wouldn't refuse. I don't want to lose my favorite food, you know."

Esipre presses the shawl to her chest, accepting it. No matter how impossible or annoying or irritating he can be, he's the first one who made her feel something so strongly in decades.

"It's alright when it's with you, my bloodthirsty friend," she says warmly. "Tomorrow you'll have the chance to rip throats again and leave my blood for the battlefield again. But thank you anyway." She feels a faint blush in her cheeks. She hasn't received any gifts since she was a child.

Astarion opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind. Instead he just takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. Then he brushes his lips over the soft skin on her wrist but Esipre doesn't even flinch.

They end up lying under two blankets although they have nothing to really offer to each other right now. It's foolish, she thinks, but she always turns to him like a moth to the fire.

The parasite behind her eye is especially restless tonight, probably getting upset that she hasn't used its power enough recently. As she's half asleep with a headache, the snowflakes are starting their silent dance in the darkness outside.

---

The first vision is from her past. Esipre feels the presence of her dream guardian in her mind. He looks and sounds like her noble father and the irony isn't lost on her. Papa never protected and in her head she knows that but she's always been bothered by her treacherous heart and her heart can't accept the truth.

It's still cold outside and it's snowing. Her body is her own but she's twelve years old. A pitiful dirty thing still dressed partly in her silky dress. Her mother tried to bribe her nurse to poison Esipre three nights ago and since then the girl has tried to ask family friends for protection. Her father sent a word, surely. But they all refused to shield her, this evening she visited the last person from her past.

Her heart is sinking and all she wants to do is to cry but she already knows that a crying girl on a dark street would meet the same fate as a noisy baby bird fallen out of its nest.

Suddenly there are two men moving across the street's corner. One of them is a heavily drunk human with tanned skin who can barely speak or walk. The other one is visibly much more collected silver haired elf. "Sure, sure, darling, let's hurry," says the elf impatiently and tries to push the human. It's enough for the other man to fall. "Fuck!" The elf kicks him in frustration but Esipre also senses some desperation in his voice.

Then he notices her and inclines his head. There's no warmth in his unsettling red eyes, nor his cruel smile. "Hello, little bird." She is preparing her muscles to run.

Her adult mind already knows how it's going to go. He's going to offer her some food and she's going to take the hook. Her child mind is scared and hungry and already ready to give up because she's weak and she knows it, everyone takes a look at her and knows it. Just a clueless lost girl standing there in the winter's night.

The elf takes her to the palace where she has her last meal with the man whose name her father mentioned several times in disgust before. Lord Szaar. He simply watches her, bemused, before suddenly taking her hand and piercing her wrist. She cries in pain and tries to free herself, kicking, screaming. Cazador Szaar just laughs at her feeble attempts, taking gulp after gulp. In the end, her cries turn into whimpers and her limbs go numb - it's like freezing to death on the street…

Except none of that happened. The elf with the silver curls grunts and grabs the lying human by the hand, roughly sweeping the pavement with his back. Espre runs to hide. Weak, helpless.

It doesn't  have to be this way, you know she hears the voice of her guardian in her head.

---

The next vision is quick and brutal.

She sees Astarion and his fangs above her neck and quickly pushes him away. She doesn't think, only acts on instinct, and they're both equally shocked when she plunges a wooden stick into his chest.

Esipre is sprayed with his thick blood and she thinks she'll never forget the look of betrayal he gives her when he's falling to his knees. "I'm sorry," she mutters. She's confused and angry - at him, at herself?

But no, he indeed is a vampire just as she suspected. Vampires do have the eyes of a wolf. Even their hearts are that of a wolf. Their beauty is just a sign of their sickness - the lack of a soul.

She leaves with the others in the morning, leaving his dead body behind. If any of them bothered to connect with his tadpole, they would know. Only Esipre tries, about an hour after they continue on their way. That vampire isn't really dead, just paralyzed. Not that it matters because like all the others, even his tadpole decides to leave when he's of no further use. He feels it crawling out of his eye socket and it makes his stomach turn. Hers too.

When his parasite is finally gone, his skins starts to burn and turn to ash and all he can do is to scream in his head. At the back of his mind, there's an insane laughter that at least he's dying free. His last thought is of the home with green doors from his childhood and the gulls over the stormy sea.

-That was empowering and felt good, no?

-No, it honestly was a bit… pathetic.

Esipre senses a wave of frustration from her guardian, she' lightheaded and everything goes black.

---

"I could have killed you, you bloody fool!"

And yet, when he boldly asks her to give him her blood freely, she relents, trusting that he's not foolish enough to harm her.

His fangs are like shards of ice into her neck and she grits her teeth. That's what she gets for her compassion but oh well, a bit of her blood is far more important for him than for her. Her pulse quickens and her heart is racing as it must pump her blood into two bodies now.

"Enough," Esipre says sharply when her mind becomes hazy.

But he doesn't stop, perhaps he even can't anymore. She tries to raise her rand but it's already too heavy, so heavy that Esipre just brushes the vampire's shoulder. Astarion pins her down and bites deeper into her neck.

"Astarion!" She tries to shout to wake the others but only some low screeching escapes her mouth. "You bastard..." Her voice is barely above a whisper. In the end, her death isn't painful, it's like falling into a dark cold lake and descending slowly to the bottom.

Her spirit lingers in the material world for some time out of spite. In the morning, Astarion is long gone. The others are bickering and almost leave her body just lying there but Wyll, bless his heart, volunteers to dig a shallow grave for her. It's actually Gale who saves the day by sacrificing himself. She has nothing to do with their victory, oh no.

As for Astarion, he's tortured to death by the Gur and later resurrected by his master only to be sacrificed in some hellish ritual. Used and discarded as always. If her soul wasn't on its way to the hells because she never got the chance to redeem herself, she would have felt a slightest glimmer of pity for him.

So this is what you prefer? Remember I tried to warn you every step of the way.

---

The next vision follows and this time there's nothing familiar about it. Surely it must be the future? It's all so confusing. The dim red light and the glass windows are strange and so is the feeling.

She took the power, for him and for herself. That much she is sure of.

Her lungs aren't working and when she tries, she remembers her last breath, then the quick torturous bang of her heart and... silence. It did hurt but the thought of him blatantly lying to her and that it's just the beginning? It hurt even more.

Months turned into years and years into decades. This was a moment to celebrate the death of duke Ravengard - a name that somehow ring a bell - and Astarion ordered that everyone should be merry. Did he order the murder of the duke too? Many things he just doesn't tell.

This celebration at the palace is one of hundreds she has attended, it was still the same on repeat. An eternity of fucking strangers in increasingly "creative" ways and watching him do the same (she vaguely remembered he thought himself a whore or was that just another trick of her mind so her delusions aren't shattered?). Of ever more unhinged bloody games. Of forcing people to pretend to love you. She blames herself for that. Now she understands that Astarion holds it against her too.

She was his first and favorite pet and perhaps if she thought clearly in that moment once upon time, she would understand that some people would find this existence a blessing but not her. Why are there scars made by a silver dagger on her hands and breasts like some mark of ownership when she's supposed to be powerful?

Esipre squeezes the hand of her lord and smiles at him like so many times before. Smiles as she's picturing the last words she's ever going to tell him before killing him tonight and taking his place. But of course he doesn't sense it, he's looking right through her.

All that time she is thinking: "Can you really see me now? Don't I remind you of someone? Someone you killed?

---

In her mind, she is yelling at her guardian. 

Enough! You advise me to take power? I will give you more than you bargained for!

Esipre is viciously pushing and kicking him in her head with all the power her tadpole is giving her and surprisingly, she is able to show him what she likes instead.

So she actually did that. She is the Absolute. Sitting on some goddamned throne in a dark massive room that resembles a temple. Everything she deserves for the life stolen from her and lost decades - Astarion would be proud. And he is standing next to her with hand on her shoulder. She helped him to ascend and Esipre still remembers his smile when she took the power, accepting her as his equal. And she is a benevolent ruler who only punishes those who don't understand her vision. 

What she sees should stop here. But Esipre knows that would be a lie. In the future, she turns her head to her consort and Astarion smiles at her with that smile they both know is fake. She now knows that she compelled all of her friends. Compelled him too and when digging deep enough into his mind, she finds out that she broke whatever was left of his heart and his soul. She gave him hope, gave him power, only to replace his former master - and this time there are no illithids to save him. Telling him he can say no but she is doing so with a wicked smile. Astarion is still performing - he knows it and knows she knows and she knows he knows that too. And sometimes when she looks over her shoulder and the curtain is down, his face and eyes are unmoving and dead tired. Like a man who got his second chance and ruined that one just as surely.

The giant hall is empty except the two of them - or so she thought. A bright lightning from one of the balconies hits her right side and strikes her down. Her body feels like burning as she's lying on the stone floor. HELP ME! She orders Astarion.

She senses no resistance from him, of course, and as she turns her head in his direction when he's not coming to her rescue, she sees him chained by his hand to the leg of her throne. The handcuffs are made of silver and he's struggling against them as they're burning his flesh. Astarion can't touch them, of course, only let them burn through his hand. But by then, she'll be long dead. 

He is complicit in all this, she realizes immediately. Even in her pain, she can't help but nod to him with respect. As she loses consciousness, she can hear him laughing. The last thing she sees is him glancing at the night sky and its stars through the glass ceiling. “Make a wish,” he laughs. He laughs until he cries…

Esipre is in the dark again and her visitor is no longer with her. Before the connection is no longer here, she can catch a glimpse of yet another visions. She dies grey haired and wrinkled in the arms of her vampire and asks him to forgive her for failing him. She still prefers this vision. Then she sees herself dying in a pool of blood hand in hand with Astarion after what she suspects was an ambush. His eyes are not ruby red but emerald green. It is alright though, as this is still several centuries into the future…

She is half conscious and aware that she's sleeping in her tent, feeling cold tears in the corners of her eyes. 

---

To her surprise, Astarion stayed with her the whole night for the first time. “Morning, sweetheart. It was an uneasy night, I suppose?”

“Just some nightmares.” Her heart is not so heavy just looking at him. “And it made the things I want a little bit more clear.”

By the sunrise the thin layer of snow outside has already melted. During the day she notices Astarion giving her some sort of guilty look.

“Do you have a moment?” is the first thing he tells her after everyone else went to sleep.

There's this strange vulnerability in his expression and Esipre already knows that whatever he's about to say, she's going to listen with an open mind.

Tagged:

@spacebarbarianweird

@lirotation

[clarkes-and-god]

Cherish's Diary:

I don't know what to do. Tobias has been arrested for assaulting a public officer, and there's no way we can get him out. His bail is $5,000! He keeps phoning me about it, and I feel so bad but there's no way I can even pay the $500 to get a bond for him. I have some tips from work, but they make up barely half of that, and there's nothing in the bank account he's been managing. Only all the stupid stuff he buys, and I can't really give a bondsman video game skins and packs of cigarettes. I did ask Momma and Daddy if they could help pay it, and we'd pay them back soon, but Daddy reminded me that I'm grown and I should have managed the finances better and saved some money to prepare for this sort of stuff. That's what he always told me growing up, and I know he's right; but Tobias said he wanted to manage the money, and I can't argue with him, he's my husband! I could ask Esther, but I'd feel awful asking an elderly widow to pay for things that are my responsibility, and I don't think she has much to spare herself, with that boy who does the yard work for church looking after her.

I know Tobias is a good man really, he just gets a bit worked up sometimes, and that's what happened when that social worker came over. He just was upset that our kids might have been at risk! I mean, to me the social worker seemed nice, but men's brains work differently, so maybe he realised there was an issue and I didn't. I just hope whoever is in charge of sentencing him understands the situation and isn't harsh, seeing as it was just a mistake. We really need him at home, he's so sweet when he's happy, and I don't think we can do without the money he gives me from Christ Chicken. Luckily, I've told my manager that my schedule changed and she's given me some extra shifts. So we should be ok for now, but I do need to ask someone to watch Neveah and Travis.

The kids are all shook up from what happened! Poor Mandy is just in hysterics because she thinks it's all her fault -- she told her teacher what she was doing at the weekend and the teacher didn't seem happy according to her. Honestly, I wasn't too happy when she said that Tobias had left her all alone with the little ones -- she's still only 7 -- but I will have to tell her not to talk about things like that to people who won't understand. I'll leave it until she's a little less upset though, I don't think she'd cope with that sort of talk at the moment. For now, she's been praying for her Daddy, which is very sweet of her.

Tyson and Neveah haven't been any better. Tyson has got such an attitude, he won't listen to anything I say. He's been moping in his room and yelling at his siblings. And after school today, his teacher pulled me aside and said he had to be sent out for distracting the class! I know he's always been loud and energetic at school, he's a boy after all, but that's never happened before! The teacher did say he understood with the situation at home, but I can't believe it. He's always been such a sweet boy and now he's just being awful! I'm praying it resolves itself soon, and Mandy starts coping a little better, because it's honestly horrible to be in the house with the two of them. They're just setting each other off at the minute, and then that upsets Neveah and Travis. I think poor Neveah doesn't understand enough to know what's going on, but she knows something's changed and Daddy's not here anymore, and it's really upsetting her. She's normally such an independant little girl, but it's like she's gone back to being a baby. She won't let me leave her alone, and she's not sleeping through the night. She's slept through the night since she was about 8 months old! And if I do leave her alone, she's just breaking all the toys or trying to ruin the furniture. I feel like I need 3 extra pairs of hands to deal with them all at the minute. I know they must be missing their Daddy, but I am too, and they're not easy to parent just now. Lord, I am praying that everything will go smoothly for Tobias and we can all go back to normal soon, because I don't think I can manage all on my own for long. You designed man and wife to be joined together in marriage and not seperated, and I am really feeling why You designed it that way with these struggles at the moment. Please give me strength.

[grogusmum]

Seven Tears part 6

SELKIE!EZRA X F!READER

WORD COUNT: 2500ish

SERIES SUMMARY: Months after being abandoned, she does something rash and summons a selkie, who wishes to bring her comfort and maybe more.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Summer moves quickly on Roan Inish, Pearl and Cee grow close and the baby is born, but the fall brings the annulment at last, and with it there is retaliation and a choice is made.

WARNING: Olde Timey gender norms and sexism, though set in mid-20th century Ireland, and Ireland's predominantly white, Reader is physically undescribed, as are her blood relatives, her missing spouse, and his family are white, reader gives birth (not described), Cee in peril, ANGST, Colin and Jamie continue to be horrible people, Ezra is a selkie, yes, it deserves its own warning, excessive use of pet names, painful cliffhanger - its going to be okay, I promise! (as always see something say something. please let me know in my DMs if there is a warning I missed)

A/N: Welp, at 364 days since the last update- it hasn't been a literal year since the last chapter... After I finally got it down and started editing I realized why I had such a block. At least part of it anyway... This is a tough one. I understand why I kept diverting to writing side fics with sexytimes, new-fangled doodads, flashbacks of shenanigans, and so forth. While I was figuring out this chapter, and well into writing it, I spent most of the time saying to Ezra, can we just make breakfast and snuggle??? Of course, he's no help because he says yes let's. Like so many of my penultimate chapters, it's a cliffhanger and a painful one, and I am so very sorry. But I am not stopping and taking a break to do other fics. I will be writing part 7 this weekend.

Gaelic Translation (with a dash of history)

Móra dhuit ar maidin: good morning, is a twist on the traditional Dia dhuit ar maidin which means God (be) with you. Some believe this is where the infamous “Top of the Morning” Mor meaning big, Mora believed to be a “lost word”. However, it was discovered that in fact, this is one of the quite rare surviving pagan blessings. Mór was a significant goddess (note: attributes quite different to the Morrigan or Mór Ríon, even if sometimes mixed together) with many avatars. Of course, this all can be debated to the end of time, when one’s religion and language are made illegal so much is lost.

Gaeilge translation

A ghrá: love

Mo stór: Literally translating to “My treasure,” this phrase is often used to mean “my darling.”

Part 5

Series Masterlist

‘You would have to become a selkie yourself.’

Ezra stopped further conversation that night about it. “Today has been long and arduous, and not the hour for decisions of this magnitude, Moonbeam.” He had said, then unfairly distracted you as only he can.

Your time on the island was magical. You cleaned out the other cottages and your parents brought some basic furniture. The cottages were sparse but appointed with the necessaries to visit comfortably. The visits from your family and Tilda and Fergus were lovely. Because your relocation was for your safety and protection, no one knew beyond that circle. You knew you would miss your friends and cousins. But for now, you were distracted from missing them too badly because Cee came to visit, often. It was new to her, and she found it great fun. She would look at her human feet or hands and laugh with wonder, she would tell you later ‘wonder at their ridiculousness’. You noted fondly that she had a little bit of her father’s laugh.

The first time she came up out of the water you got to see the transformation firsthand. Her flippers felt for the seam under her snout, invisible to the eye. She then pulled it apart and a blonde teenager emerged. 

Blonde. You looked at Ezra, flabbergasted. To which he said-

 “There is a saying, my Pearl, all toads are frogs but not all frogs are indeed toads. Uncommon it may be, but one needs only look for the sea storm in her eyes to know.”

Cee came and went from the shoals, and Ezra reminded you not to worry, that as your belly rounded with every week that passed, he would be the worrier in the family.

Spending the morning fishing with your Da and Thomas, Ezra is gone when you wake. This is his way of thanking them as they usually have other supplies for you. Cee emerges from her bed which is curtained off in one corner of the great room, as you set out two bowls of porridge. 

“Móra dhuit ar maidin (MOR-uhg(w)itch air MA-jin), Cee”

“Móra dhuit ar ma–” Cee yawns openly, “jin. Where is me Da?” 

She, then, sniffs the oats hopefully.

“Fishing,” You tell her. “Why don' you cut some apples, dear.” 

“With hooks and a line?” Cee chuffs as she sets to the task. You can not help joining her mirth. 

You are with Cee on your own for the first time-

“You must have missed Ezr- your Da. I did not know I was keeping him from anyone- I would have encouraged him to visit. I am truly sorry, Cee.”

“‘tis the nature of things,” Cee says, mouth full of apples and oats, “besides if he were to slip back into his pelt and visit, he could not return to you for seven years. He has loved you a long time- everyone knows that!”

You are taken aback, you hardly register the sweet knowledge that she and others in his pod knew his love for you, thinking about the fact that if he goes in he can not return for seven years. Seeing her come and go, you assumed, with no small amount of relief, that bit was a myth, and you tell her so.

“Oh, I can come and go, because I am a natural-born selkie. Da was turned.”

“How was he turned?”

“Well,” Cee starts, “ehm, that is probably a story he ought tell you. Though he don' really like to tell that tale.”

By the time of Ezra return, Cee’s words were pushed out of your mind. For the pair of you had gathered seaweed and dug clams for luncheon, and you had felt your first real kick from the baby.

“Pearl! Come sit,” Ezra pulls you into the house. “You need to rest.”

Sitting you down by the fireplace, he settles on his knees, splaying a large warm hand on your lower belly, soft brown eyes on you, hoping to feel another kick. 

“How does everyone?”

“Very well, Moonbeam,” Ezra absently runs his hand over the expanse of your middle, then drops his head on your lap. “Patrick had some supplies for us as well.”

“Any news?”

“Well…”

“What, a ghrá (uh GHRAH)?”

“Colin and his brother are still ragin’. Dierdre is making progress with the annulment, tis not sitting too well, it seems.”

“Pity sake”

“He deserves none," Ezra's eyes darken and you see his selkie nature for just a moment.

On the longest day, your water breaks at 4 a.m. The gift of midsummer's day is that daylight is already breaking, and Ezra can take the currach out right away and fetch your mam. The whole of the family comes back with Ezra and waits outside the cottage as Deirdre and Felicia help you bring young Rory into the world, with Ezra attached to your side. 

When Rory's shoulder breaches its final barrier with your last mighty push, he slips like a seal into your mother’s waiting arms. 

Ezra kisses your glistening brow and with a whoop, he runs to the window to shout to kin both seal and man-

“Tis a boy! With a shock of red hair from who knows where!” To which everyone whooped and laughed hardily.

“It’s midsummer! That’d be the faeries doing!” Hugh calls.

“Someone tell that boy to hush,” Deirdre says to no one in particular, shaking her head and crossing herself. She hands off the swaddled babe to Felicia, who brings him to you. Your Mam goes to the fireplace takes up an iron poker and draws talismans into the ash, muttering about faeries, calling St. Bridget to protect the home and all dwelling within.

You, Ezra, Rory, and Cee grow more in love with every passing day. There is nothing Cee enjoys more than when Rory is in his boat cradle, being lulled in the shallows tethered to a rope you hold fast to. During his fussy times, it is the only thing that calms him. She swims round and round it, bobbing up to check on him. Ezra barks his laugh at Cee’s antics and in the evenings he holds his son close, nosing his cheek and murmuring in the old way. And of course, any chance he gets, he brings you closer to him than many would find humanly possible. Nights are spent worshipful, in one another's arms. When the babe is wakeful, Ezra brings him to you, and when Rory is fed and dozing he silently takes him back to his cradle.

Summer rushes past as it has a habit of doing and autumn comes. Plans are set for this morning to go to the mainland to sign papers for your annulment. 

“Tis finally here,” you sigh, kissing Ezra, the baby dressed and ready for a boat ride. “I’ll go to the church and get this settled at long last and meet you at the pub?”

“Agreed, mo stór (mu store)” Ezra says as he carries out a basket to the currach, he sets it in the boat and then helps you aboard, as you hold Rory. 

The tide is with you as is the wind, so your trip is uneventful and swift. Ezra kisses your cheek and takes the baby for Tilda and Fergus to see and you head up to St Bridget’s to finally wash your hands of Colin. You smile as you walk the familiar cobbled road, excited butterflies in your belly. You remember to be watchful, knowing Colin and Jamie, this day is sure to stir up a hornet's nest. All is quiet, but you start to feel as though it is too quiet.

Ezra brings Rory into the pub, head up, bursting with fatherly pride, and Tilda comes round the board, hand on her heart. She takes up the baby as she gives Ezra a peck on the cheek. 

“You may never get the wee one back,” Fergus laughs. 

“Look how big you’ve gotten!” She coos.

“He is but a weed of a thing, growing faster-” No sooner does Ezra sit to catch up with his friends, does Hugh run into the bar, holding a stitch in his side. Ezra stands, his nostrils flaring as his eyes go dark, as if the barometer just fell and he could feel a dangerous storm brewing.

“I was- I was down at the docks-” he gasps trying to catch his breath. “Cee was there, knew it was the- the big day. But Colin-” 

Ezra was on him, hands like vices on his shoulders. 

“Ezra!” Tilda commands. He let go but the huff of his breathing bristles his mustache.

“What about Colin,” Ezra’s voice is like nothing they have ever heard. Rory fusses.

“He’s got Cee in a net, started dragging her out. Da -.”

Ezra bellows. 

“Watch over Rory, Tilda. Hugh, does she know?”

“No, I came here first. Thomas has a boat- one with a motor-” 

“Good lad,” Ezra breathes and storms from the pub, Hugh following behind.

At the dock, Ezra prowles up and down, until Thomas comes into view.

“Over there!”

Ezra looks at the small vessel with an outboard motor, mildly distrustful. 

“Hugh stay at the dock and keep watch. We will get to the boa-”

“No. Go back to the island.”

“Wh-”

“I need my pelt.”

Cee twists and bites at the net, angry at herself for getting caught. Knowing this was to get to you and Ezra. Other seals surround her, trying to help.

She barks, nostrils flaring, pointing with her nose behind her. Two seals peel off and go in the direction she indicates, while one stays with Cee.

Soon enough two gray seals like torpedoes reach Ezra, flanking the port and starboard bows. Their heads come above the surface and one barks.

"Go on ahead to the island, in the hamper at the end of the big bed. Fast. Meet me back at this boat. Mind the propeller," Ezra shouts over the wind and motor.

The seals put out a burst of speed, porpoising in and out of the water. 

"What are you going to do?"

"You have to tell her," Ezra's voice breaks, eyes rimmed red. "Tell her,  I will return even if she can't bring herself to come to me. I will-"

"Ezra?"

"I promised," he wails, "I have never promised anyone anything- only she! But I can't let Cee-"

"She'll understand."

"I'm deserting her!"

"I will tell her."

"Is there anything to write with?"

Thomas rummages a bit and pulls from his pack, a small notebook with a pen tucked in its spine.

Ezra takes it and begins scribbling frantically.

Jamie’s boat speeds along, gulls scold them, and seals chase. Colin and Jamie jeer at them, determined to take their offense out on the young selkie. Heedless of the long-held taboo and the consequences that can befall entire villages, for harming a seal. Whether or not they know Cee was a selkie or a seal, they laughed in bad humor and wondered if one of them would make wife of her. They are both quite lucky Cee could not hear their base chatter. 

After chewing at the net for some time, Cee finally breaks through the net, barking a laugh of triumph. When she slips free, she rolls and tumbles with her companion in celebration. When she has had her fill, she bobs in the water watching as the craft continues east. Cee barks at the other seal and sets after the boat at top speed. Only after she chews the netting that held her captive to shreds, does she make way to the mainland. But it is not long before she is faced with her mistake. 

You arrive at the pub in good spirits, but your relaxed smile is wiped clean off at the sight of the faces within. Your face falls further seeing Tilda with Rory, and Ezra nowhere to be found.

"Where-"

For the second time today, Hugh bursts in like the devil is at his heels-

"C-cee-"

"Is she alright?" Tilda says standing.

"She is! She- she got away, but she's ragin' on the stand!"

The lot of you pour out of the pub. Fergus tosses out a lone customer and locks up behind. Hugh hastily explains what he knows, as your eyes become saucers. At the beach Cee is half out of her coat,  as she is covered with the blanket that Tilda had the forethought to bring, she seethes-

"Da went after 'em. He didn’ know I broke free on me own until after he’d done it! He's angrier than I have ever seen!"

"Are you alright? Are you hurt at all?" Your eyes search her.

"He's not mad at that- well he is bu' he's fit to be tied because-" Cee's words pull up short, she looks like she might cry. "He thought- he- put on his pelt. I- I'm sorry."

You look as though you've been struck in the face, but you rub her shoulder absently hoping she knows you do not blame her. 

"He's gone after the boat, he wi- he'll sink it," Cee finishes.

"Where's Thomas?" Asks Hugh.

"I'm here!" Thomas runs down the rocky steps, and hands you the note.

My shining Pearl,

I am loath to break my promise and beg your forgiveness.

Do I dare remind you that we spoke of you coming with me? 

Though I admit that conversation was far from over.

Do I presume to ask for this gift? 

Would you don a silken seal coat, mo ghrá? 

Would you do this for me though I hardly deserve it? 

Yours forever,

Ezra

When you finish reading, you find yourself turning a lost circle, pebbles shifting underfoot. 

"I- he-" You look down at the note again, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"He didn't want to!" Thomas says, beside himself.

"Of course, he didn't," Dierdre soothes. 

Trembling, you rush to Tilda grasping her hands. Blinded by the tears that refuse to fall, you don't see what everyone else can see plain, she knows your question and hates the answer.

"The Maiden and the Seal-lord! She- she was able to take her grandmother's pelt! You have one from yours, yes? Please yes!"

The waves crash, as though very ocean can not abide your tears.

"Darlin, my seal gran has too many greats in front of it to tell us, even if I could dig it up and give it to you," Tilda holds your panicked face in her worn hands. " Which I would, I most surely would. But it would not transform you- for no matter how close I hold you as kin, you must be a blood relation. Your way… if you wish it, it will be harder." 

Your wail breaks her heart, gulls echo your cry. 

You take Rory in your arms, the note crushed in your hand, and climb Widow’s Rock.

"Ez-ra!" 

Deirdre sends everyone back to the house and carefully climbs the rock. She wraps her arms around you and Rory. 

"For right or wrong, God forgive him. He will sink that boat and come back to you, even if he can't take off his coat."

You nod in response, eyes on the open water-

"I need to talk to Cee.”

Part 7

💚THANK YOU FOR READING💚REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED💚

If you care to read more of my stories you can find my masterlist here and if you would like to be tagged for any of my fics you can find my handy dandy taglist form here.

[woodchipp]

Hi there! I came across your post dissecting Omocat's Motivational Speech. I decided to read it with a friend of mine and holy crap-HOW did ANYONE read that and NOT see this person as a horrible jerkhole?! Seriously, we saw WAY more red flags in this writing BESIDES the ones you pointed out?! I usually don't say anything, but I couldn't keep quiet with what was put here:

"the stress will be there. you can overcome it but it will not go away"

Why are they making stress as something that can never leave after encountering something that causes it??? It CAN go away! One simply just TAKE A BREAK FROM IT, or STOP DOING WHAT'S STRESSING THEM OUT! There's no reason to make stress out as this force that permanently looms over a person after introduction. If that's the case, more human beings would be dying from that (it's one of the aiding factors to a lot of serious health problems and a lethal one on its own)!

"The next thing is to know you are not alone on this. We have a team of, I don't now, 10 ppl here everyday working. I can vouch that you are all, for the most part, nice people."

For the MOST part??? So Omocat doesn't truly believe that the people slaving away in making their game, and are considered as FRIENDS by them, are nice people??? Guess that makes sense considering how Omocat treated them behind the scenes. Why show kindness to people if one doesn't believe that they deserve it, right?

"There are some people who have more work than others, so I ask for those who have a bit less on their shoulders to remain courteous. It's distracting and feels really bad to hear laughter or people enjoying themselves when you have so much wor to do."

This MAY sound reasonable at first glance, but my friend immediately point out that this is manipulative language to shame and guilt trip employees into not complaining about mistreatment or taking much needed breaks from working. Coporate companies LOVE to use this kind of talk to keep employees in line by playing on their sympathy to help their fellow man, and the fear of being singled out and hated by everyone in the workforce.

"Thinking of all the choices I made down the line could have led to a different possible worse situation. This kind of thinking needs a certain level of humility"

Oh really? Cause Melonkid DID suffer the worse situation from not only not being paid royalties, was mistreated while working on this game, but is being ganged up by former coworkers AND most fans of the game! On top of being lied on to be painted as mentally unstable! So uh...way to make this line moot, Omocat.

"Another thing that helps is the way I view deadlines. Deadlines are deadlines. They are immovable. They are above me, like higher beings."

THIS shocked us. Not only is it unprofessional to say such a thing to employees, but...WHY??? I'm not joking when my friend asked if Omocat's studio is stationed outside of America, because to portray deadlines as a deity when this is a LITERAL talk to a literal dev team? Yeah, that's cult talk.

"Think of deadlines as a demon you have to continually give nourishment and sacrifice to or else it will destroy our game/ And everytime you work on the game, finish something. you're saying fuck you to that demon"

Okay, these are no longer red flags anymore, these lines are just Omocat conditioning employees with cultist mentality to have control over them as they work on the game. Moving the deadline is impossible because it's a being higher than our existence, so stop asking to have it moved so you can rest. Don't you dare take anymore breaks than the limited amount I am allowing YOU to have, or else the "demon" destroys all our hard work and you will be to blame for it. That's what these lines are actually saying. In what way is this suppose to be motivating? In what way is this NOT evoking an ominous sense of danger from this person?

"It actually means so much to me that I have to pull back on a lot of emothons since I have a natural tendency to take everything to do with this game really personally."

Yet that's exactly what Omocat did with the Melonkid situation. Instead of handling the whole thing professionally, like a person who owns a business is SUPPOSE to do, they instead acted like this employee had ruined their life with handling financial affairs over royalties. Goodness, out of the many speeches I had read online out of controversies, THIS one was the most blatant in the person's true colors. The fact that none of the fans see this is beyond disturbing, it just shows the growing trend of victim blaming that is putting actual victims in danger. Yet, allow horrible people to take advantage of the narrative as long as they play things right.

holy shit I absolutely did NOT catch that "for the most part" part. that's peak passive-aggressiveness

Given that she apparently also mistreated her ex-manager (who was a friend of hers as well), I'm not surprised that this is the way she seems to treat people she considers "friends". It's still immensely disgusting, sure, but it's not all that surprising.

Personally, I wouldn't go as far as to claim that her equating deadlines with a demon is "cult talk", but yeah, I can't possibly see how such rhetoric is supposed to be even remotely motivational. "nourishment and sacrifice" Jesse what the fuck are you talking about

Also... how is giving the "demon" nourishment saying "fuck you" to it?what a thoughtful metaphor

my joke theory that the devs exhausted the Kickstarter money on huge amounts of weed is seeming more and more plausible by the day huh

The fact that none of the fans see this is beyond disturbing

As I've mentioned before, this kind of controversy would've completely erased any other developer off the face of the Internet by now. But since Omocat is responsible for making a game specifically tailored to appeal to the sensibilities of Tumblr/Twitter users, she's pretty much inviolable :)

[theforcast068]

The Forecast Volume 1-Issue 3

Wednesday October 23, 2024

Link to the PDF Copy

Where Is Sandman - And Why Isn’t He Bringing Cloud Rest?

Background

Cloud Rimer describes herself as a “chronically sleepy guy” and someone who, “could fall asleep anywhere but her bed.” These issues started in early childhood and were never resolved. When she was in high school Rimer claims that she continuously got as little as four hours of sleep a night, but now that she is a Junior in college, she points out the ill effects. “I am having troubles going to classes, and when I do, I’m falling asleep in them. I sleep for a significant amount of the day but can’t fall asleep at night. It is a horrible cycle.” Once Rimer realized she could no longer maintain, she sought help to solve the issues. Rimer met with multiple medical professionals and got advice.

Keep reading below the line for more!

Feeling Rested Throughout the Day

When she was in therapy it was suggested Rimer work on her “sleep hygiene”. Cleveland Clinic defines sleep hygiene as, “healthy habits, behaviors, and environmental changes that you can take charge of to get a good night’s sleep.” For Rimer, the biggest issue was going to sleep and waking up at a good time. “I couldn’t fall asleep until 2 or 3am and then of course I didn’t want to wake up at 7am. Who does?” Rimer joked.

Cloud, however, realized that sleep was most important. “It’s not healthy what I’m doing.” Some habits Rimer adopted to feel rested are going to bed early, waking at the same time every day, avoiding sugar, staying warm, developing a sleep routine, putting her phone away, and clearing her mind of concerns at bedtime. If you’re struggling, try some of the sleeping tips from the advice column on page 3!

Finch - Self Care App

For the past 18 days I have logged into my Finch Self Care App and reported my feelings,

played with Rose, my Finch, sent “good vibes” to my friends, shopped for clothes and furniture (for my Finch), and completed my goals. 

This app has been instrumental in my productivity lately. I can write down all the tasks I want to do, and I get rewards for doing them. If there is ever a reason I don’t do a task, Finch allows me to reflect on it and either delete the task or snooze it until tomorrow. Seeing what I have left to do for the day and getting rewards for completing tasks has been amazing. 

Finch has also helped me express my feelings directly. It allows me to “send good vibes” from a category of my choosing. This helps me signal to my friends that I am thinking of them, and I can send them a virtual hug, gratitude, a reminder to stretch or drink water, or many more things I might want to share with them. This means that I don’t have to be pushed out of my comfort zone or risk being misunderstood, I just send sweet things to my friends. 

Overall, this app is a 10/10 and I totally recommend it. If you download it ask for my friend code!!

Rollerblading for Relaxion

Cloud Rimer has been seen by our team of Cloud-Watchers multiple times this week rollerblading. She seemed to be working on specific skills. When asked to comment, Rimer

explained, “My mood is much improved by exercise and being in the sun. Rollerblading helps me with both. I’ve loved rollerblading since I was little, so I work on skills to engage my brain while I workout and play in the sun.” Cloud reportedly has only fallen once this semester. We are not sure whether we believe this because of Rimer’s inclination towards being an especially clumsy individual. More soon.

Sleep Tips from an Insomniac

Advice from Cloud Rimer

Make a schedule. Going to bed and waking up at the same time everyday can be difficult when your schedule differs but is really worth it. It helps your brain settle down for bed and you won’t be so tired throughout the day because it’s not time to be tired yet!

Make a routine. Making a routine that you do before bed is a great way to signal to your brain that it is time to start winding down.

Put distractions away. As tempting as it is to scroll on TikTok or Instagram until you fall asleep, it is not good for you. So put away your phone, books, and (politely_ tell your roommate that you are ending the conversation and going to sleep.

Clear your mind. It can be difficult to try to sleep when you have a lot of thoughts and issues running through your mind looking for solutions. Remember that you can deal with all of that in the morning, but only if you get sleep now. Try to remind yourself that it is time to be sleeping and relaxing, not problem solving.

Get into bed. As tempting as it might be to wait get into bed until you get tired, getting into bed is another signal to your brain that it is time for bed. For the same reason, make sure to stay out of your bed during the daytime so that way your strongest association with your bed is going to sleep.

The Games

Word Search 10/23/2024 and Quotes of the Week 10/23/24

[mystery-star]

Separation - Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: abduction

Words: 872

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms!

-

It was cold and smelled awful. By now you didn’t even remember how long you had been kept in this cell. The fact that this planet had a totally different day and night rhythm didn’t help at all. Still you reckoned that it surely couldn’t me more than three days, according to Stardates. At times you wondered if they even were looking for you but you were certain, and hoping, that your husband would insist to keep looking for you until you were back on the ship. As First Officer he surely could do that. Once you assured yourself that they would be looking for you, however, you started to wonder if they would ever find you.

The next time you got food and something to drink (it tasted horribly but your body needed fluids and at least the food was decent) you once again asked the aliens what they wanted from you but as last time, you didn’t get an answer. As your captors walked away, you muttered insults at them under your breath before you rationed your newest food and ate the first portion already.

When you weren’t occupied with worrying or wondering what you did here, you tried to plan what you’d first do once you returned to the Enterprise and what you’d eat first. And you also slept a lot or at least tried to. If you couldn’t you’d go over movies and books in your head to distract yourself.

Finally, on what you figured to be your fifth day in captivity, you heard the sounds of a fight nearby and it turned out to be a rescue party from the Enterprise.

“(Y/N)” you immediately turned to the source of Spock’s voice and just the fact that he called you by your first name and not your rank let on how worried he must have been.

“Spock!” you cried and tried to get on your feet but you were too weak for such abrupt movements. Your husband shot the lock to the door open and was next to you with a huge step

“Are you injured?”

“No. Probably a couple of bruises but nothing bad” he knelt down and hugged you for a very short time “Thanks” you breathed out, clinging to his shirt.

“You do not need to thank me, (Y/N)”

“Because saving me was logical?”

“Among other. Are you able to stand up and walk?” you shrugged

“I’ll try. But help me”

“Certainly” once you stood on your legs you were a little wobbly at first but your husband wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. Although you didn’t need to, you still clung to him as you took your first steps.

“Did you find out why they took me?”

“I cannot say yet. However, rest assured that the individuals who are responsible will be properly interrogated in order to ascertain the reason for your capture, Lieutenant” you let out a sad huff because he had switched back to his formal way of addressing you since he was on duty after all.

“Will you stay with me?”

“Stay?”

“On the ship… I don’t think I want to be alone for now. Can you stay with me in our quarters?”

“If this is your wish, I am certain I will be able to excuse myself from further duties after our return to the Enterprise. However, I might still need to take care of certain matters, which I shall try to complete during the time you are being examined in medical bay”

“Oh right. The usual check-up” you muttered “Suppose I’ll have to survive that first” he threw a glance at you and you could tell your statement confused him.

“Why would you believe a basic medical routine examination to be lethal?” you chuckled

“Oh Spock. You do know that I love you for how you are?”

“As of now, you have declared your feelings for me on 108 different occasions with the words ‘I love you’, another 35 instances you have insisted on me being the best – yet never specifying at what I excelled exactly - as well as on 5 times by telling me that I meant the universe to you” you smiled

“A simple ‘yes’ would have been enough, you know”

“I understand” again he repeated his question why you thought you’d die in med bay, prompting you to explain it had been a joke since you didn’t really want to get checked up and be separated from Spock. “I deem it necessary to exclude the possibility of you having injuries or illnesses that might endanger you, (Y/N). Should you wish, I can see if I will be able to be by your side during the examination and delegate my responsibilities to someone else”

“No, it’s fine” you assured him. “I’ll manage some minutes without you. I won’t be all alone after all. The doctors and nurses will be around me” he gave a nod

“Should you require or desire my presence anyways, please let me know” you rolled your eyes

“Now I sound like I’m seriously attached to you and can’t let go. I mean… I did miss you these days but I missed everyone. Still you in particular”

[gabessquishytum]

really, really love the idea of dream getting bitched. i think it might’ve gotten discussed here before but i’m gonna bring it up again because it’s so good. also, not just bitching, but studding, too. and make it a royalty au just for funsies

dream and hob are in a committed relationship—they’ve been in love for a long time and dream wants nothing more than to finally knot and bite his omega and make him his mate, but they’re both the respective kings of their own kingdoms, and they have to be respectable and wait for the wedding (which is of course painted as a political alliance, but they’re secretly in love, so it’s alright by them). however, just before the wedding, dream’s kingdom is attacked by lucifer’s, and they happen to be an alpha prime. so, when dream gets captured on the battlefield, rather than kill him or enslave him, lucifer does what they believe to be far crueler, as someone who’s aware of dream’s situation; they bitch him and turn him into an omega.

dream gets sent home changed. he’s not the same, as before— everything smells different, his body feels different, even his center of balance is off. everything about him has shifted and he’s so horribly overwhelmed, and the last thing he wants is to run home to hob only to be rejected by his love for their incompatibility. after all, two omegas can’t mate properly, they can’t have babies, they can’t satiate each others heats….as much as dream loves hob, he can’t bring himself to force him into an unfulfilled life because of his new body. so he locks himself away in his chambers, spending his days clawing at his skin, panting and sweating through his heats, feeling like he’s going out of his mind as he goes through everything all on his own.

but hob isn’t entirely stupid, bless him, and he knows something is wrong. he knows that something had traumatized dream on the battlefield, but he had assumed it was something gorey and violent, so he spent so much time worrying himself about just how horrific something had to be to terrorize dream of all people. in fact, he spends so much time worrying about dream, and focusing in on what the hell lucifer had done, attempting to defend dream’s kingdom for him from afar as a soon to be ally, that corinthian can sneak in unnoticed. and he does, very well, and he studs hob— who then spends the next several days shoving his cock in virtually any and every surface in his general vicinity that can get him off and distract him from whatever the hell all these new feelings are like. while dream’s heats overwhelmed him with a sense of fear, and the feeling of being hunted as prey, hob’s mind felt stupid with lust; he manages himself better than his fiancé.

and since hob isn’t as self destructive as dream is, when his rut has calmed down enough that he’s able to act appropriately in public, he throws himself onto a horse immediately and sets out for dreams kingdom. (i was thinking more of a romantic and dramatic ride through the night to reach dream as soon as possible in order to come to his aid and be by his side, but now that i’ve written it all that i can think of is a paul revere “the british are coming!” night ride. sorry hobby) of course, he gets the whole charade of “his majesty is not receiving visitors at this time,” but dream, going through his second ever heat and quite frankly being very overwhelmed, finds himself on the verge of battery ramming his own door down just to get to hob. and of course he’s welcomed with open arms (and legs), and although they’re going to have one hell of a conversation about their new situation, so long as they can make each other feel good as their bodies want them to and secure an heir or twelve, they’re happy. <3

A mini fic in my inbox!!! Once again I am blessed by the horny gods!!!

I love this. Please know that I am yelling over the Paul Revere part in particular. Imagining Hob riding through the countryside and occasionally just yelping in pain because his dick is three times the size it used to be, he's not used to it and riding kinda hurts!!!! He's sensitive ok!!!! He just spent like a week fucking any object he could find and he's a liiiittle bit chafed. By the time he gets to Dream’s castle he's kinda hobbling along, wincing with every other step. And his immediate thought when Dream jumps on him is oh no not so much because he's upset that Dream is different but because he doesn't think his dick will make it through a whole heat with his new omega mate.

But he underestimates the power of his own horniness, and makes a very thorough job of knotting Dream until he's sated and sleepy. Having been an omega until approximately a week ago, Hob knows exactly what Dream needs, and he is very very generous in giving it. Dream is probably the most satisfied omega in the whole land.

He also might have to get his marriage clothes altered but hey, everyone loves a shotgun wedding. After everything they've been through, even the strictest of traditionalists agree that Dream and Hob deserve to do exactly what they want, at least for a little while.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Could you do some kind of comfort headcanons for Yata? His s/o recently lost a relative and even though they weren’t especially close to this relative, they’re still really upset about it. The circumstances, the age of the relative and the fact that they know how torn up about it the family undoubtedly is is just all so horrible and the relative was just a generally nice person so it just hurts. Anything’s fine. Thanks a bunch in advance.

Of course I can, my dear!! I cannot say, again, just how sorry I am for you and how many hugs I send your way. Though it’s not much at all, I really hope these help even a little bit.

Okay, but I do believe that how Yata handles this is really going to depend on the Yata we’re really talking about because it really is going to differ quite dramatically. If this is the Yata pre-Totsuka death, it’s a completely different story because I really don’t think that Yata had much experience at all with death and grief. Once Totsuka, and then Mikoto dies, that Yata is much more familiar with those emotions and has personal experience handling grief, so how he’ll deal with his partner losing someone will change.

Pre-Totsuka Yata is definitely going to take the news hard. He’s someone who gets really invested in his partner’s life, including their family, so he’s definitely heard of this person before, even if he never met them because his partner wasn’t particularly close to them.

Even just hearing about the death of celebrities he really likes bums Yata out and pisses him off, so someone he has a little more personal connection to, even if it’s just through his partner, it really hits too close to home for Yata and he’s really affected by it. But he doesn’t really know how to act. He has no experience other than this.

He desperately wants to say the right thing for his partner. He wants to do something, anything, to make them feel at all better, but he doesn’t know what to say or do and it makes him so frustrated. It makes him feel useful, impotent, worthless.

There’s a lot of him taking little breaks, telling his partner that he’s just going to get them their favourite snack or drink (which he does), where he’s just so worked up because fuck, he can’t do anything for them, and he resorts to punching a wall or hell, even some other person he picks a fight for just to let that anger and frustration out.

I will say, both pre-Totsuka’s death and post-Totsuka’s death, Yata is never someone who will shame his partner for crying. If they need to cry because this is really sad and it doesn’t seem fair at all for the world to take someone so young, Yata will encourage them to cry. He’ll sit beside them, arm wrapped around them, hugging them into his body and he’ll just let them cry. Hell, he might shed a few silent tears beside them. He’ll listen if they want to talk and he’ll do the only thing he can think of – just be there for them.

Now, after Yata has had experiences with grief and death through Totsuka and Mikoto, I do think he’s a little better with the knowing what to say and do. He doesn’t have that same anger and frustration because he doesn’t know what to do or say. He kind of does now.

He’ll, of course, still be there for his partner as much as he can be and he’ll still let them cry, listen to them, and all that. But he also offers solutions and suggestions that helped him get through his grief. He’ll find little things to help distract them, things he knows are easy on their mind and won’t require too much mental energy. He’ll make sure they get outside so they shut themselves up because he found it a lot easier to deal when he was regularly getting outside. He’ll look at photos of their relative with them, go with them to the funeral, and let them vent when they need to.

[mysticmiav]

Alrighttt am close to finishing Pride & Prejudice, about 60ish pages left (am a slow reader okay and I got distracted with Manacled while reading)

Some more thoughts and a lot of yapping (and spoilers? I guess?) I've had in during my recent reads:

First of all, having watched the P&P 2005 movie first and then starting to read the book, I can't help but keep going "Oh this is different!" At some parts akdksk

I love love love the small hints in the book of Mr Darcy liking Elizabeth more and more that is visible in the book. Imma have to rewatch the movie to see how (if) they did that there, but I don't remember noticing it as visibly. In the movie, it felt a bit of a "ah so that's a thing now" while in the book, I noticed some more emphasis/mention of Darcy noticing her more and more, conversing with her, wanting to talk with her and meet her.

I died at the Rosings part when she told him of her daily walk route, assuming he'd want to avoid seeing her, but my man probably went "sweet!" And just came to see her ever since (not to mention, he might've assumed her telling him of her route was a subtle way of inviting him to come see her? Idk my man was down bad he probably took that bit of info and ran with it akfkskkw)

The little things like him moving his chair closer to her- I pretty much died.

Him wondering at whether she'd mind living at a long distance from her family- my man was practically already wondering at if they were wed, meanwhile Elizabeth is confused why he's talking to her akfkskfk

It just feels much more ahh developed? Or hinted at enough to make his feelings to her not come out of nowhere lol

And of course lets talk about the confession scene!! I combusted

I admit that I loved how they did it in the movie; I LOVED the setting (that location and that weather!! Ugh!) and the energy and the tension. Loved every bit. Not to mention how much I liked the actors and how they played the characters!

And yet, I absoloutly went nuts over how Austen did it in the book!! The tension and anger and energy all there, but it just felt more raw and visceral?? Idk how to put it. I just died and came back and died again reading and rereading that scene omg

It's getting to see the narrator mention Darcy taking her silence or lack of negative reply as encouragement to continue with his confession.

It's the earlier back and forths and their witty exchanges, which resulted in him believing them to be on the same page. Hence, the conversation about living at a far distance from her family, I take it he assumed she noticed his intention and he thought he was being rather too direct, which is why his mood changed and he pulled his chair back when he caught himself.

But ironically enough, him thinking they were on the same page and that he was being transparent with her, that she was able to see through him, all just goes to show on how different of a page they were.

It's honestly brilliant.

And that just makes the confession scene work so much better, at least for me.

Getting such a clear view of how he must have feelings for her, and how clear he thought he has been about them, and how he thinks she picked up on it, makes his confession and the tension of that scene work so well, because he really thought they were on the same page. He really expected it to go one way because of those assumptions he'd had.

And then it went so differently, and so horribly at that, that I can't help but claw at my wall aaaaaa it's so good

No wonder he got pale with rage lmao

Ohoh and when Elizabeth went "You are mistaken, Mr Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your decleration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner." And saw him start at this I DIED she went for the throat and honestly fuck yeah he needed that slap off the high horse

Even as am writing this I reread the scene for what could only be the tenth time already it's just so good aaaahhhh

(Also, I definitely understand that they probably changed the scene a bit in the movie for the sake of making it look more intresting, at least location wise; the outdoor setting and the spot it all takes place in is definitely a more visually intresting scenery to look at than a closed indoor room, and I think it does make the change of the scene work well in the movie! I still love the book version more but I totally see why and love the change was made in the movie adaptation)

Okay another point about the confession scene is how much I loved the irony in Darcy saying it must be because of how he worded his confession, in a way that slighted Elizabeth's pride because of how he mentioned her relations, that she's rejecting him, and yet he had framed his whole declaration on how it was against his better judgement that he came to like her, how he pointed it out the inferiority of her comings and family (and thereby, painting himself superior). That he's pointing out he must've hurt her pride when his whole talk stemmed from his own pride is such irony I love it

And bruh homeboi really expected her to go "whoa am so thankful you came to love me still!" ???? My man really thought she'd be flustered at him insulting her family and telling her he loves her in the same breath and he still had the audacity to pickachu-surprise-face at her own anger at his words akfksd

Okay enough of that scene, I still have a few kore things to talk about akfkjw

Next up is just how much Letters play a role in the story and even in the characters. Idk this is just a brainvomit of some of the notes I'd taken while reading, but the jest of it is the recurrence of characters sending letters as a narrative tool and, oftentimes, a way to paint certain aspects of the characters.

Elizabeth and Jane, while away from each other, both exhange letters regularly, and their correspondence is neat? I think is the word; they take the time to sit down and write to each other. When they recieve a letter, they also take the time to sit down and read it. Like when Elizabeth receives Jane's letter with the news of Lydia and Wickham, just as she and her uncle and aunt were about to leave to go on a walk, it is mentioned that instead her uncle and aunt set off to let her enjoy the letter at her own time. Just the use of the word enjoy speaks volumes to me at how Elizabeth regards these correspondences; a genuine sort of happiness and joy, and hence she likes to take the proper time to read them, and also the time to write them.

So when it says that Jane's first letter got missent somewhere due to her writing the adress remarkably ill, it's hard not to feel a shift or to know something bad must've happened. Because with how much care she usually puts into her letters, something must've caused her haste in writing the adress of that letter, so badly it was sent elswhere.

This broke a formula we kinda grew used to in those correspondences between Elizabeth and Jane, and managed to set a feeling of dread by simply taking something of that status quo and changing it. I just love it so much ugh

Darcy's letter(s) I feel like fall under a similar light; he obviously put a lot of care and time and thought into them. Gave them the time and length needed, given the importance of the content. They were very thorough and expansive, and touched on the important topics and discussed them sufficiently (lmao I feel like am giving him a critique analysis).

It shows enough of his character methinks.

Mr Collins letters, much like he himself is in person, often focus on the flattery. Of others (especially Lady Catherine) and of himself (cuz ironically, by how often he breaks his back complimenting others, he always traces it back to himself, to how he thinks of it, to how grateful he is of it, to how deserving he thinks it is, to how thoughtful he is with it). In person, it was hard to miss how much he cared for the rooms and their furniture and interior, and I chugged it to it symbolising how shallow he is and how much he cares about appearances, whether in the literal sense of the word or more like the esteem and regard others have of him. In his letters, he focuses so much on appearing thoughtful and grateful and thankful and concerned where needed, in a way you feel he's simply doing it in a "but no one could dislike me! I've been nothing but nice and thoughtful etc" way, you feel? Again, by focusing so much on such pleasantries, he seems only focused on coming across positively.

Also, all in all, he's the epitome of "talks a lot but says very little."

Lydia's letters are more or less hasty and careless; it's obvious she doesn't set aside any special time to write them (like her letters to her mom while she was away at Brighton including things like "oh Mrs Froster is calling me so I must haste" or something along the lines) and, much like her own conversations and interests, seem scattered and childish (which, yeah, she is a child. But you get the idea. She comes across as silly, wild and reckless, while also being somewhat shallow)

I just think it's a very neat way to show the personalities of the characters further using the letters as a tool.

Ahhh I think that's mostly it for now!! So many thoughts cuz am loving every bit of this akfksk

[lefluoritesys]

TW: detailed description of a car crash and its aftermath/consequences

I am not going to edit this post. These are entirely raw thoughts, and they should stay that way.

I want to give a shoutout to our physical protector & external soother, who now has no memories of it, but who saved our lives and the lives of our biological family members yesterday during an absolutely horrible car crash. Who was fronting and saw the truck right before the crash. Who woke up first, and despite screaming their lungs out, realized what had happened in a matter of seconds due to pain and hearing the crash happen. Who picked up the phone to call an ambulance first things first and repeated instructions to themselves about what they should do to keep themselves on track. Who realized everybody in the car was unconscious because nobody was replying to their screaming. Who heard the body's sibling start to cry and instructed them to get out of the car, and when they couldn't, carried them out in their arms. Who screamed their lungs out for our mother to wake up, and we have confirmation that our mother heard it. Who couldn't call the ambulance due to being in a completely different country but did everything they could in that moment. Who told our father that our mother is unconscious and let him handle it. Who called our partner system and informed them of what happened so they could comfort us and see what is going on because they would be worried sick. Who cried and screamed on the phone but comforted our sibling. Who took photos and recorded audio logs of what had happened. Who was making an effort to use a translator and direct the paramedics' attention to our sibling because they were hurt. Who had an equally bad mental breakdown at the ER from how terrified they were. Who was there, and despite being terrified, despite already being an emotion holder of "I am going to die," reacted quicker than anybody could in that situation due to understanding they were the only one conscious, and they needed to keep everybody alive. Who thought our entire family was dead and didn't stop rationalizing through screaming, crying, shaking, and pain.

I want to give a shoutout to our newly formed trauma holder, AKA @teshawithane, who formed due to the crash to keep the memories of it away from our physical protector & external soother. To keep the memories away from all of us. Who holds the memory of us seeing our family and believing all of them were dead. Who was keeping calm and ran on adrenaline. Who ran around the ER, paying close attention to our sibling due to their trouble with walking and the doctors being more concerned with our mother. Who throughout all of that was updating our partner system and kept drawing the attention of the doctors to our sibling and didn't forget to mention we were hurt too. Who then distracted our sibling and walked back and forth between our mother and our sibling, checking in on both of them. Who had to watch our driver get taken to surgery, bleeding from every place possible. Who put our coat over our sibling when they inevitably fell asleep on the chairs in the ER. Who were pacing around and tearing up when the adrenaline crashed. Who is forever stuck in the age the car crash happened and was introduced to this world in the worst way possible. Who took most of the emotional pain and trauma. Who didn't understand they were a part of the system at first and didn't question it either, despite there being many obvious signs and them calling us "we." Who was violently shaking the rest of the day, up until the very late evening. Who is now finally sleeping in the inner world, leaning on me.

I want to give a shoutout to our internal soothers/protectors/caretakers who have been hovering over all of us and helped us calm down as much as we could that day. Who treated our bruises and injuries in the inner world because the inner world attempted to recreate them on our inner forms.

Thank you. All of you.

The two that I was talking about, you saved our lives and the lives of our biological family, and for that, I am forever grateful. Both of you now share different parts of that trauma, and both of you have gone through hell yesterday. And I know you still, every time to front, get stuck in horrible flashbacks about the crash. I know you cry every time you front because even the slightest reminder of it is overwhelming, and you just want it to be a terrible nightmare, and it isn't.

And the rest of you, you have done an amazing job keeping us stable when we couldn't do that for ourselves. You made sure we were alive mentally, you called our families and distracted us, and for that, I am forever grateful.

If it wasn't for all of you, we might not have been alive today. Moreover, because of the work done at front, a life of our driver was saved, who was at the time in a critical condition and spent around 10 hours in surgery.

So I thank you. I am forever grateful. There is nothing I can do to repay you, and you won't even ask for anything. I will make sure we heal, both mentally and physically, and I am going to try to make you feel safe again, even though I know it's nearly impossible right now, even for myself.

I love you, my dear system.

We are alive.

-host