#being vulnerable is perhaps the hardest thing in the world.

[ghostzzy]

did she see this post lol

[esoteric-crow]

hey actually isn’t there something kind of really sad about the fact that the hardest difficulty (that isn’t just like. hell or hell. which is just ‘haha hehe Blow up.’) is called Dante Must Die. i think about it a lot. i can’t quite put my finger on why it makes me miserable but maybe someone else can.

but you know what i CAN talk about and i DO have actual fully formed thoughts about?

regenerating like crazy is great. but isn’t there something kind of inherently fucked up about the fact that, because of the regeneration dante and vergil have, neither of them will ever have tangible evidence to themselves or others of their suffering? asking themselves, was it really that bad? did it even happen at all? no matter how much you put vergil through hell and how afraid he is inside, there will never be a mark on his skin that says “i have suffered”. the world leaves no proof, nothing to take home from this experience aside from a more broken mind. vergil doesn’t say his feelings, or even allow them to surface properly, because that’s a kind of vulnerability he cannot handle. the only way he could perhaps earn someone’s sympathetic care is by expressing what he has suffered through, but he cannot verbalize that. and he looks perfect. unmarked by time or trauma. there isn’t a single part of his body that could scream out for him that something horrible has happened that he cannot figure out how to deal with alone.

and dante is just as poor off. and he’s very difficult to figure out emotionally to a passerby. dante purposefully puts on a happy face every day, and to the majority of the world, it’s convincing. there’s certainly no evidence to themselves contrary. not a scratch on him. but he is like kind of constantly getting the ever loving fuck beat out of him. stabbed and jabbed. when you look at him, you see happy, sweet, goofy dante. for all the years of pain he’s gone through, there isn’t a single marred inch of his skin that could tell you even a day of the agony unless he told you. and why would dante do that when he can pretend it simply isn’t happening until he’s alone and can sit with the terror that’s constantly in him and the loss he’s been living with, over and over losing people and being surrounded by the ghosts of their presence. whether the ghost is a wayward descendent, a gun, or just a lingering smell of ash in his childhood home. but that will only be private. he can be the walking dead, he can treat himself like shit, but his body refuses to show anything for it. and he’s certainly not going to die.

obviously, the same thing can be said for the opposite side of the spectrum: scars can be a constant reminder in the mirror of what happened that you cannot erase, always to some degree a part of you. among other stuff. so both sides of the coin are full of The Pains and The Anguishes.

on a side note, i really like when people give them like, one scar. i don’t really have a favorite one that people give vergil but i really like dante with just the one bigass gnarly one in the middle of his abdomen from the rebellion gettin jammed in there. his One scar. a treate. like it defies his regeneration somehow.

i love making a scarred up guy. i have plenty of scars n marks myself, and i feel like they should definitely be more normalized, so like, no this post isn’t anti scars or something. they’re normal and not ugly or whatever the hell people try to say. this side note is probably entirely unnecessary, but i’m tired and i’m worried about someone misunderstanding me i think. anyway i’m trying to say ooh scar angst yeah but sometimes No scars is also fucked up too. that’s the point here.

to sum up: i believe there can be something Fucked Up and angsty to be said about the fact that the sparda boys heal perfectly fine, but only externally. it is 3am. this is not articulated as well as it could be i don’t think. aaaand post.

[zoieru]

Mind-dump analysis of Sunday and Welt

Non-romantic, though you can see it that way if you want. Basically musings on their dialogue, body language, trauma responses and their views of the world. Based on my noggin, my experiences, and my knowledge on psych and philosophy. Mentions of trauma, and Aventurine. Spoilers for 3.0. Come chat with me about it in the ask box pls oml. (html broke read more link sorry)

So I was writing an Astral Express Sunday headcanon thing, and realised the part with welt I had more thoughts on than I could handle !!! So I decided to make a bigger breakdown of it from my perspective weeee. 1.7k more thoughts...hehe. Includes pics.

So, Sunday is essentially coming into this new world (the astral express lifestyle, the knowledge and involvement of other planets issues, everything not just Penacony) for the first time, and in a vulnerable state at that. He was trained and groomed to be who he was basically his whole life, and not just the positions of power and control, but his position he gave himself also of protector of his sister. That's been taken from him, all of it, his role, his direction, drive, everything. To say the man must feel lost is understatement of the century.

So when he is confronted with Welt Yang, a mysterious and stoic man who displays his intelligence by deciphering there's something up with his disguise, questions him on his motives, etc, but then seemingly confidently starts to trust him, he is...confused?

First, Welt says multiple times that he knows how he feels, he's had to leave a home quickly too, but doesn't elaborate. So his reasons are already determined at least somewhat by his empathy for Sunday. That is a lot for Sunday to work through. He mustn't have really related to anyone in his life, even his sister due to their vastly different experiences despite being in the same spot. To have someone, and quite quickly, especially after what he just did, sympathise, empathise, and relate to him...thats intriguing, and confusing, and probably a bit suspicious.

Further, when going to meet Robin, Sunday outwardly questions why Welt is giving him the privacy to speak to her, refusing to be a bystander for his benefit. Welt answers:

'i believe you're the kind of person that has the ability and desire to use everything to your advantage... but that everything does not involve Miss Robin'

Sunday pauses, and thanks him. It's confusing, unexpected, and yet another puzzle into Welt's character. I think this moment means an incredible amount to Sunday. Ultimately, his sister is everything to him, where everything started, and Welt has given him the space and freedom to do the thing he is so nervous for, he is dreading but must do, one of the hardest things he's probably ever done, say goodbye for an indeterminate amount of time. Who else has probably shown him this sort of seemingly genuine act of kindness, goodness, before? Probably no one. Plus, despite not really outwardly discussing his relationship with his sister with Welt before this, Welt shows an understanding of Sunday's care for her, to the point his usual nature and methods don't apply to Robin.

So that's why Sunday asks another question, after saying goodbye to Robin

He's starting to see himself in Welt, I believe, in some way, when he says 'I had a feeling that you would never give up on someone who needed help' which is reinforced by his 'help' of Sunday just now. But I think what Sunday is maybe confused about here is why him, why here. He is confused why they 'help' him, a 'nortorious fugitive' and a 'friend they never knew', rather than people in new worlds, people he deems perhaps deserve it more, people who he thinks Welt should care about. I believe, here, he is still viewing things zoomed out, from a grand perspective. He sees 'people' as an entity, much like how he did with his plan, saving them from misery by keeping them in the dream. But Welt goes on to explain that it's the people he meets that are his trailblaze, but on an individual and connection scale, not 'helping peopleTM' like he tried to.

And that means Sunday, it means Tingyun. Sunday even asks directly, then, 'why me?', and Welt repeats his previous answer. 'i know how you feel.' despite what he's done, he offers him empathy, help, and connection. It's alien to Sunday. He has heard the worst of people's deeds, was tormented by them, wanted to save them from themselves, yet Welt is just accepting him.

Then another thing, Welt sits in the audience watching Sunday become himself, say goodbye to his old self and everything he once knew, literally becoming whole again, and slightly unsure of how he exactly he will be once both halves combine. This moment is so so intimate, so deeply personal, perhaps the most personal I mean he's literally talking to himself, becoming himself, shedding everything he's ever known, starting a new life. And Welt isn't just watching. He says:

'Regardless of the outcome, you will have a witness. I'll be waiting for you in the audience.'

Here, he does multiple things. One, he is promising Sunday he will be here for him and almost continue to accept him in whatever shape or form after he's done, giving him the respect and time to do his thing, and the support he wasnt planning to get. Its like...almost a threat, saying he wont let him run away after, but not quite. its also a signal of protection. He is staying with Sunday through this obviously terrifying and massive moment, at a safe and respectful but supportive distance, something Sunday was planning to go through alone. Also, he says he'll wait for him. That's so...personal. ugh, it's too much. And the thing is, Sunday lets him, thanks him, wants him to be there. Trusts him enough to see him at almost a most vulnerable point in his life. Crazy stuff.

Plus, during this line, the camera zooms in on Welt's face for just a few seconds, emphasising how big this is.

Now I'm not sure if we should assume Welt can hear everything Sunday says to himself. The theatre is empty, afterall, but I dont know. Sunday says he's scared, says why he's scared, tells himself he doesn't like himself, parts of him. It's so goddamn personal, heart wrenching, truly. And there's a line here I want to discuss quick.

'to save more lives, you must first understand what they live for and what they die for. The best way to achieve this is through personal experience.''

This is a reflection of Welt's words, his reason for trailblazing. It shows he's taken them to heart, ponders them, realises that to truly help people like Welt does, he needs to know them, not see them as an entity from above.

Also, when done, Welt makes a gentle joke that covers the supportive gesture of his acceptance of 'either' of Sunday's selves. He almost dismissed the whole act as if it was casual, while subtly acknowledging it's significance, and gently showing his support, so it all doesn't make Sunday feel uncomfy.

'Well, how should I address you now? Mr Sunday or Mr Wonweek?'

I love it.

Then Sunday has the confidence to request staying with the Astral Express Crew. Knowing the others might hate the idea, but having enough confidence in the fact that Welt at least seems to want him there.

'You are one of my trailblazing goals.'

Sunday looks visibly touched by this statement. the feels.

So let's now skip to the Astral Express, where he's been on a while let's say.

After all this, Sunday and Welt almost have this unspoken deep connection somehow. They have shared a deeply personal moment for Sunday, and Welt has shared more with Sunday about himself than he ever has with anyone on screen that we've seen before.begins to respect Welt Yang quite tremendously really. Sunday now has time to sit, think, reflect, and probably torment himself with thoughts.

I think he has built this ridiculous level of respect for Welt, perhaps more than for most in his life. And also intrigue, confusion. He perhaps observes him. It is obvious Welt has a troubled and mysterious past, the extent of which is unknown but suggested, yet the man has a poise about him that seems stable, secure, confident. It intrigues him, maybe makes him a little envious even that despite this man having no set 'home', travelling the trailblaze with seemingly little control over things Sunday feels he would lose his mind over, he still seems confident in himself.

You ever feel like you're pretty self sufficient and able when alone or most of the time, but theres that one person where you're in their company and it's suddenly like all your brain function has dimmed and been transferred to them and they're now the 'thinker' and 'doer' and you're just there mostly looking pretty?? That's Sunday and Welt sometimes. Sunday was so used to being everything, controlling everything, seeing everything, that now he can relax that, or rather forced to let go of all that, as hard as that is, he finds himself inadvertently letting Welt take over a bit, observing and involving himself but Welt taking the lead. It's perhaps part of a trauma response to having to grow up too fast, to not being able to have had the points in life where you can trust and let someone have control for a while without risk. So as a result of this trust and acceptance he has built with Welt, his brain just sort of...relaxes a little. Welp.

That's displayed well in the infamous 'mom speak to the doctor for me pls' scene, I think. Cute.

Okay it's the end now, I could probably yap more but my thumbs hurt. One more musing though:

I wonder what it would be like for Sunday and Aventurine to meet, after all of that. They, ultimately, had a similar journey in terms of them making a big decision, a big 'attempt' at something bigger than themselves intricately linked to their identities and core beliefs, having to face parts of themselves along the way.

Now that Sunday has shed his 'grandiose' demeanour and plans, I wonder what it would look like for them to meet on equal terms. (Obviously not really knowing how this whole thing will have affected Aven coming out of it).

These two men, as literally mentioned in the 'combining selves' scene for Sunday in the theatre, are fundamentally opposed. One has been made to and has had to build his life and principles on control. One has had no choice to and built his life on luck, lack of control. It's such an interesting dichotomy to me.

There's also this interaction with Welt and Sunday before meeting Robin:

'I had a hunch and decided to try my luck. Seems I can be lucky sometimes'

'its not like you to leave things to luck'

'I'm trying to change too'

It's twice, in this long section, that Aventurine/luck is mentioned, at least. I wonder how he would view him should he know more, and now that he seems to have a certain begrudging acceptance and respect for luck/chance.

OKAY IM DONE FR NOW HAHAHA come discuss with me if u want :3 hope you enjoyed.

Here, take this, its not safe out there

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

[ayjadasblogforeverything]

Fic Writer Q&A

Can you imagine that *I* got tagged at a *fic writer* q&a? Yeah, me neither! Thank you, @sirenofthegreenbanks!

Perhaps I should precede this with saying that I barely write, I have published 5 works or so. And when I write, it is very short, perhaps because I am a mathematician, perhaps because I talk so much on a daily basis. My longest work is <1k and three of the five works are drabbles (like, the old school 100-word pieces). Also, I can ironically already feel that this is going to be an essay. You were warned :)

How many WIPs do you currently have?

I usually don't have WIPs, or if I have a WIP, I usually only have it for a few days, as my pieces are very short. I have fragments that I wrote for myself that I do not intend to publish. There will not be progress there, so they are not WIPs. But currently I actually have not only one, but two fragments that I would consider WIPs! That's infinitely more than on average!

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

Most of my fics so far are based on more or less stupid jokes and are in general light-hearted, funny or cracky. I think in general, I find it hardest to write earnest stuff to a satisfactory level. Perhaps that is because that might be inspired by me projecting, which leads to things being too out of character. Perhaps I just find it hard in general to hit peoples' voices, which might have a greater impact in serious topics. Perhaps it's also that writing always feels like a striptease of my soul and I deal badly with the perceived vulnerability that it brings, which is worse when it is about more serious topics. So out of the two WIPs I have, I expect the one that deals with some insecurities to be the one that is harder to finish or to finish to my satisfaction, even though it is the shorter one.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

Öhm. If it is about how I find inspiration, I don't know. It either comes or it doesn't, and I am very chill about that because I am very much not ambitious with my writing. Once I have a situation in my mind, I aim to note the gist of it down on my phone, but I am a master procrastinator but also forgetful, so that will take some time.

Then if I feel like I want to get creative and challenge myself at some point, I look up my list of ideas and pick one that feels doable at the time. (Rarely, I sit down immediately to write up a first version, but it needs to be a special idea for that to happen.)

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

No. With the length of my fics, it would take way longer to curate a playlist than I would have time to listen to it.^^ I tend to not have any music on when I am writing or only music without lyrics. I think I wrote the last few drabbles late in the night when I procrastinated going to bed or something and some invisible force possessed me to open my document with my drabbles and I just started writing and stopped when I had a decent not-quite drabble. I was just in this pretty weird, awesome mood you sometimes get into when it is in the middle of the night and you don't know what the time is even if you check the clock and you feel like you are the only alive thing in this world and it is just somewhat... tranquil? I tend to not be in the mood for music in this state of mind.

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

With the length of my fics, there's no other choice but balls to the wall XD. I think this is also a big reason why I prefer extremely short formats - you don't have to plan. Sometimes, I picture the entire situation in my head and collect a few phrases I could use beforehand so that most of it is already in my head, in case that counts as being organized.

I used to have a list in my mind of situations that I wanted to collect in a longer fic, but I think by now, I forgot it all. Damn. Why did I not write it down? But then, the fic would never get written because I am still not creative enough for a some overarching plot to my collection of situations.

Overall, I feel like I am not enough of a writer to answer these questions, actually, but for that, I wrote a lot I guess XD

Of course, I am curious about @deneb-al-giedi's answers. And about everyone else's that wants to talk about their fic writing process.

[chronotopes]

Time to return the favour. 4, 5, 24!

gonna choose to answer for wryn and mina because they are the latest arrivals in the story and are the central supporting characters in the upcoming chapter that i ... still havent started <3

also thank you!

4. What are 3 of their irrational fears?

i think this is a fun question because perhaps 'irrational' is such an interesting qualifier. in real life and in fiction the world is full of things to fear at least somewhat rationally, which means i cannot promise that all of these fears are 'irrational' even though sometimes the character in question may think of them that way. but let's give it a shot.

mina is afraid that 1) by falling in love with leander (who also grew up in her hometown's upper class), she is simply recreating destiny/her parents' wishes for her in a slightly overcomplicated way, 2) if she is ever too happy or stands too still she will be settling, making herself vulnerable, tying herself down delusionally to something doomed to go wrong, and 3) she is not capable of love at all, not in the right way and not for too long

at the point in the story that is currently written, wryn is afraid that 1) there are key elements of his past and his magic that his guardian knows and is not sharing with him, 2) that by lingering safely in coastal universities he is failing to explore the world and its magic to its full potential in the same reckless and dedicated way his parents did, and 3) that if he DID venture beyond that safe zone what he found there would kill him. (these are all in one way or another extremely reasonable if not straight up true. wryn self-identifies as a Very Rational Person and has at this point in the story not been challenged in this self-conception.)

5. How affectionate are they? What are their top love languages?

LOL i selected the two characters with the most distant affection habits out of the whole gang for this question.

mina is extremely not a 'wow i really like you' person in most cases. in early phases of a friendship or relationship, she demonstrates affection largely by Being Down To Hang Out With You and sometimes by quietly remarking to you about something kind of personal. she is a pretty transactionally-minded person who wants things to be fair and to not be embarrassed, which means she will cook for her friends and get them holiday gifts to preempt a sense of Owing. but her truest sign of Really Loving You is when she accepts acts of service or gifts from you without feeling like she has to immediately find something to offer in return.

that and trying her hardest to kill your evil dad and oppose your enemies, that's another classic sign of mina affection.

wryn is a lot freer with compliments than mina. he's pretty blunt and not shy about telling people he thinks theyre Wrong! but at the same time not shy about pointing out someone's skill or knowledge when they've impressed him in some way. he also shares insight and information with people very freely – he is very driven by wanting to Help And Be Helpful – but when he properly likes you then he starts sharing stuff that he's purely interested in because it's interesting rather than because it's contextually relevant. he did not have the same kind of heroically-oriented imagination growing up that mina and mari and lark did, so when he is put in a position to put himself in mortal danger to protect people he loves he is a lot less emotionally prepared for it. still does it though.

tl;dr in terms of the 'lame and fake science' variety languages both mina and wryn are acts of service oriented in many ways but that's cheating because it's a teen oriented fantasy novel and everyone is trying to die and/or kill for everyone else constantly. outside the context of immediate peril, i would say mina's is time and wryn's is words.

24. Where did their name come from? Does it have meaning?

i will be completely real with you everyone in vital light has names that i thought were nice non-cringe alternatives to their names in the original draft (excluding quartz, whose names are the same across both). so alas i did not think about meanings very much.

[fangsandfeels]

Some Astarion x Tav headcanon ramblings featuring my Tav (Jerra) because this blog is for brainrot

The moment she spoke about the world being a kind and wonderful place was akin to Jerra's growth point. She would have never said it a year ago, two years ago, five years ago...Hells, she has never said it in her conscious life.

She had to end a Zhentarim torture victim's life because no potions or divine powers she possessed could regrow the poor man's limbs, his eyes, and tongue or put the intestines draped around his neck back into his body. She cut a dead child out of a slain banderhobb abductor's belly. She dug graves for the victims she couldn't save. She destroyed the pregnant widow's last hope of getting her beloved husband back before her very eyes to deny the hag her last laugh.

This world wasn't kind or fair, for it allowed such horrors to exist. This is why she was here. She may never make things better or save everyone, but she will rage against all things dark and wicked because this makes her feel alive. Her life was tainted, ruined before it could begin, marked by constant, simmering anger that, if left awakened but not untended, would have led her into joining an omnicidal cult or a dark pact. Her training molded that anger into something functional. Efficient. Something to help her fight back - for herself and all those who could fall prey to the evils of this world.

But with Astarion, everything all became...different. It was no longer enough to just kill Cazador. Not after she put her arms around him and felt his anticipating tension melt away as he gingerly returned her embrace. Not after he reached out to her, palm turned upwards, trusting, accepting, inviting. Not after the hushed excitement in his voice and his sincere smile, a stark contrast with the perfect and tense curve of his lips that unnerved her so much during one of their first conversations under the stars.

A man stripped of his life, subjected to centuries of humiliation and torture, dehumanized and negated to his looks, preserved the strength to be hopeful, to meet the uncertainty of vulnerability with a smile. Even if she spoke every language on Toril and beyond, she wouldn't have found the words to describe her admiration for him and how she felt about him trusting her to not just watch his back, but also see him like that.

Jerra wanted to see his hopefulness take root and grow over his scars and tortured memories. She knew she would protect his right to it with everything she had.

And...if just spending idle evenings together, at each other's side, were the moments where everything felt right in the world (even when it oh so certainly wasn't)...then, maybe the world could be a wonderful place?

At least, she wanted Astarion to be free to explore it. To find a home of his own. She knew he deserved it. She knew he had the strength for this journey - and while she couldn't kill every demon whispering to him, she would do her damn best to try.

Perhaps fate truly had a wicked sense of humor and punished her for not wanting to feel and connect with making her fall so deeply and dedicatedly for such a complicated and pained man. But even if that were the case, Jerra appreciated the lesson - loving someone was truly the hardest and most confusing battlefield she had ever braved into.

And yet...maybe she shouldn't have told Gale to drop the thought of restoring and using the Karsus Crown. It would have been nice to have a friend who could deliver her very loud and indecent words regarding ironic punishments to the gods themselves.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Grounded Hope” based on Luke 1:39-55

Somehow I messed up the order of the Advent Candles this year. They're supposed to be Hope, Peace, Joy, then Love, but we did Peace, Love, Joy, and now hope. Truthfully I copied from a prior year, which likely copied from some lovely liturgy of yet another year, and didn't notice until Louis asked me why on early we were doing Love on week 2. By that point it was too late to change so we left it.

So perhaps I'm just justifying things here, but I also have been thinking that it feels right this year to end on hope. I'm not disparaging love! It is, after all, “the greatest of these things.” It is just that this year, hope seems like the hardest one to come by.

To speak plainly, there are already a whole lot of problems in our country and our world, and we're facing a future with a government who will do intentional harm to the vulnerable. Usually when we think about hope, we think about hope for building the kindom, for making things a little bit better, piece by piece. But right now, we're facing everything getting worse, and it isn't even entirely clear what we hope for.

I'm a big fan of Dr. Emily Nagoski, a writer and pod-caster who thinks deeply and writes clearly. Dr. Nagoskisends out a regular email newsletter that I get, and this July she sent out one on hope. Emily struggles with depression, and she shared that while she's delighted when other people can resonate with Emily Dickinson's poem “hope is the thing with feathers” where nothing can hurt hope, she can't actually access that hope.

Here is an excerpt from that email:

Moral philosopher and author of “How We Hope” Adrienne Martin developed an “incorporation model” that formulates hope as “a desire for an outcome and the belief that the outcome is possible but not certain” and you use your assessment of its possibility as justification for feelings, thoughts, and plans.

Got that? Hope is justifying your feelings, thoughts, and plans based on your assessment that a desired outcome is possible.”1

This definition of hope, where the desired outcome is “possible but not certain” may be why hope see so hard right now. I'd like to hope for an end to hopelessness, but that is a whole lot less likely then “possible but not certain.” I'd like to hope for an end to hunger, but that, too, is a whole lot less likely than possible but not certain.

For Dr. Nagoski, living with chronic depression, assessing what was possible with an optimistic viewpoint became so hard that from her perspective hope died. But, she says, that's not the whole story:

Hope is a sustaining energy, it keeps us working through trials when we’re being challenged, but it is contingent on that assessment of the probability of that desirable outcome.

But there is a noncontingent sustaining energy, which cannot be interfered with by any assessment, no matter how dire, of the probability of a desired outcome.

That noncontingent sustaining energy is an unimaginable hope.

What’s it called, when you have no reason to believe a wanted future may come to pass and yet you continue to work toward it just as if you did believe you could make a difference? What’s the name for that emotion, when you walk toward the world you want, knowing that each next step might be off a cliff?

Adrienne Martin calls it faith.2

Now, to be clear, Dr. Nagoski is an atheist, so her faith may look different than ours, but I found this reflection so startlingly helpful. Because what we are doing now, when we hope for good care for those with disabilities, when we hope for compassionate responses to immigration, when we hope for changes of heart around medical options for trans kids in red states – that's the stuff of “when you have no reason to believe a wanted future may come to pass and yet you continue to work toward it just as if you did believe you could make a difference” That's the stuff of, “when you walk toward the world you want, knowing that each next step might be off a cliff?”

Now, as people of faith, maybe we still get to call this hope, but more like “faith-hope” or “God-hope” or “we'd have no hope in this without trusting God” or just “hope grounded in love” or “grounded hope”? Or some other nuance. But it isn't practical, pragmatic, having assessed the likelihood and deemed it possible sort of hoping we're doing now, when we try to build the kindom of God on earth in this day and age. What we're doing is continuing to love because the world needs love, is practicing peace because only peace begets peace, is seeking joy because joy is resistance, and continuing to work towards building the kindom of God because God has done crazier things than bring justice out of THIS HOT MESS. That is, we hope.

And to a significant degree, what I hear in Luke is pretty similar. Mary and Elizabeth, the too young and the too old, pregnant and shocked and processing, and speaking hope in the faithful God in the midst of the world that was a hot mess.

The Roman Empire at that time had highly concentrated wealth and power, most people felt vulnerable in their positions, so tried to press harder on those below them to stabilized themselves, the masses of people were struggling in life threatening poverty, and the government was trying to control the religious narrative to make itself look good. I know it is all hard to imagine, but do your best. ;)

This young, vulnerable, faithful Mary speaks her faith, her grounded hope, to Elizabeth. She speaks of God's mercy – God's compassion shown to those God could instead choose to punish. She speaks of God's strength – God's capacity to make things happen.

And then she talks about what God does with God's mercy and compassion. Which is, inverses the fortunes of the world. For many people at that time, especially those who were not a part of the Jewish faith (but probably many who were too), it was assumed that those who had power and money had it because they were favored by the gods and “good.” And those who didn't' have things were being punished. Right? That way it looks like the world is fair, if everyone gets what they deserve. (You realize people think this now too, right? Sigh.)

The book of Job, I would say, is one of the ways the Bible fights back against that idea, because even in the Bible there is this tendency to want to justify things by saying all is as God would have it be, so don't mess with the status quo. But, luckily, there are also A LOT of narratives that say God isn't' happy until justice comes, and that's the tradition Mary is drawing on here.

Mary speaks of God lifting up the lowly, bringing down the powerful, filling the hungry, sending the rich away empty, scattering the proud, and fulfilling God's own promises. To have that happen would overthrow the empire, and install in it's place God's own kindom on earth. She is talking about leveling, about making it so everyone can eat, and no one lords over anyone. She is talking about building the kindom on earth.

It makes sense, of course, that these words would be in Mary's mouth to make sense of Jesus. The early Christian community saw all of this happen in Jesus's life, and they used Mary's words as a narrative device to tell people what to pay attention to in his story. (Also, I contend, it makes sense to think of Mary as one who had such faith and was able to teach it to Jesus.)

I think that from the perspective of Mary and Elizabeth, the Roman Empire was immutable. It couldn't be changed, couldn't be toppled, couldn't' be bested. This was probably even MORE true by the time the gospels were written and the destruction of Jerusalem occurred with mass causalities. Moving from that system to justice as God wills it would have looked....

Well, it wasn't “possible but not certain.”

It was much more “when you have no reason to believe a wanted future may come to pass and yet you continue to work toward it just as if you did believe you could make a difference?” In fact, I would go so far as to say that one of the primary points of Jesus's teaching was that we have to work towards the future we want, the kindom of God on earth, as if it is possible because unless we work together on it – IT WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE. Jesus brought the people together and showed them that together they had enough where as apart they did not. Jesus taught them they had power, not the kind of violent power over of the Empire, but the amazing power of connection and love that can change things to make life BETTER.

Beloveds of God, the likelihoods are not in our favor right now. Very little that improves the lives of the vulnerable is going to happen on the federal level in the short run.

Oh well.

God is still God, God is a God of mercy who brings down the mighty and lifts up the lowly and we're working with God on that kindom building project. Our hope is grounded, faithful, and impractical. We do what needs doing even if it isn't likely to bring the outcomes we want. We do it anyway, because we are the people who follow Mary's son. Amen

1 "An Alternative to Hope Or, The Secret Medicine for When the Thing With Feathers Stop Singing” an email from Emily Nagoski on Jul 9, 2024.

2 ibid

Rev. Sara E. Baron  First United Methodist Church of Schenectady  603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305  Pronouns: she/her/hers  http://fumcschenectady.org/  https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

[starlixir]

Alone, future, and ghost from this ask meme !

HCs!

❖

Alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

➤ Nova is used to loneliness or as close to it as she could. So, she doesn't want to go back where she feels like she doesn't have a lot of people. It's why she tries her hardest to keep people around. I can't say she never been completely alone before. She did have somebody with her here and there throughout her entire life. Due to her kind of personality, she always attracted someone willing to stick by her no matter what. Now, when nobody is around her to see how she is, she's a bit more vulnerable with her emotions. It's not that much different than who she is around others. She used to hide her true self a lot before her death. Hiding her true thoughts and emotions from others or showing certain parts of her up until she realizes she is hurting herself more than doing any good.

Future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

➤ In all honesty, the worst possible future for her is going back to her dad. It's a conflicting thing for Nova because she is grateful for what he has done and there. At the same time, he has been trying to put her down more than trying to be there for her. She did cut off every possible contact with him, which further kept it as such after her death. He doesn't even know she is still alive and thinks that she is dead. Very few people from her past knows she is alive. One of them is being her brother, who found it suspicious of what happened to her. But yes, she is aware of this possibility. Now, if we are talking about other versions of Nova, it depends on that verse.

Ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

➤ Outside of her father, it'll be the fact that she can't say anything about her being alive to those that thinks she is dead. It's a decision she has made upon getting another chance at life because she knows if she show herself to certain people, they will talk. That will lead to situations that she doesn't want to be in. It sucks because every day she thinks about what is going on with those she cares about. Another thing that haunts her is her death. While her death has done a number on her, it's more along the lines of picking her to have another chance. Why her? Why give her - someone so average and possibly undeserving - to get another chance at life? Give it to someone else who could do more with their life. A history-breaking person.

Perhaps it's because she is a kind-hearted person and the world needs more kindness.

[spacecadetspe]

A snippet from last year…

Jun. 30, 2023

Morpheus and Phantasos have been talking about reuniting the eldest brothers for a quincentennial reunion. The former asked me for advice regarding what gift to bring his brothers, and I gave my two cents, as requested. "Bring your trust. Your vulnerability. It will be more deeply appreciated than anything else you offer."

We went to pick up Phobetor, who was brooding in the archives. He greeted us, but didn't exactly look happy to see either of us. The awkwardness stretched into our meeting with Phantasos, where I poured angel wine and tried to withstand the pressure of being around the brothers three.

To break the tension, Phantasos proposed a round of "the oldest game," and began with "I am a rainbow, the messenger of all things divine."

I sat out the first round, so Phobetor went next. "I am a cloud," he intoned. "I obscure."

"I am the sun," Morpheus said in his turn. "I control both."

"I am the rhythm of the universe," said Phantasos.

I finally piped up. "I am music. Rhythm is my constant, but I contain layers of nuance."

Phobetor shot me a look. "I am timbre. I guide the music."

Morpheus sat back with some confidence. "I am silence. I am the end, and the spaces between."

Phantasos thought a long while for his answer, but prevailed. "I am deafness. I find my power in my other senses."

"I am touch," I replied. "The first inklings of intelligent reaction are often physical and visceral, and can't be denied."

"I am isolation," replied Phobetor simply. He didn't seem to be enjoying the game, especially against me. I shrank a little in my seat.

"I am numbness," said Morpheus.

Phantasos was quicker this time. "I am solitude," he piped.

I found my answer quickly. "I am peace."

Phobetor stared at me for a moment. I could feel his inner turmoil, all the things he wanted to say but couldn't... He sipped his wine and said perhaps the hardest thing he could; a sharp barb in my direction. "I am war," he growled. "I shatter fragile peace."

Morpheus took his whole glass to head. "I am entropy."

Phantasos looked at me. "What do you think, Hope? Does 'peace' have a problem with 'entropy'?"

I shook my head. "Not real peace. Real peace adapts to entropy."

Phobetor shot up from his chair, and we all turned to look at him.

"You object? Well then, brother," said Phantasos, "when is entropy stronger than peace?"

"When it's not wanted," Phobetor snapped.

I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I looked at the table in front of me. "I should go."

Morpheus and Phantasos looked at me, and then at each other. They knew the remark had been intended to hurt me. Morpheus looked concerned. "Go? Go... where?"

I slowly stood up, and paused before making my reply. I decided I didn't really want them to know where I was. It would just be easier... and less painful... to let them work this out themselves, and to not be involved at all. "Not here," I finally said.

I portaled back to my suite at the castle, where I was met by Vassilios and Njorun. I explained to them what had happened, and Njorun broke out a bottle of strong wine to comfort me with.

Truth is, I don't really feel safe there, either. I might not answer any summons today. I don't really want to be found, and there aren't many places in the Dream World where they can't find me. I've shown the brothers my nest at the edge of the sea, and I think it's best left empty. So for now, I sit at the edge of the bay and try to decide which bath bomb will help me wash all this pain away.

Maybe I should call Abzu and Tiamat. They were most excellent at helping me do a deep-cleanse, and I've got pains in places I can't explain, from battles I never admitted to fighting.

My choice is comfrey and chamomile.

[ellobucket]

As I sit at the desk in my little flower shop this morning, I find myself thinking of two of my grandfather's brothers, both of whom landed on the beaches of Normandy. One landed on Omaha Beach, the other on Utah Beach. My own grandfather might have been there too, but unfortunately, we will never know for sure. We never had the chance to ask him, and his army records were destroyed in a fire 51 years ago when the records office in Missouri burned down.  

One can only imagine what must have been going through the minds of those brave men - boys, really - on this very day eight decades ago and the traumatic experiences they must have endured in the following days. It would have been hard enough for those born on British shores, but my thoughts are with the Americans, as my relatives were from the other side of the Atlantic. They had already left their homes months or years before, finding themselves in unfamiliar lands before being shipped off again. They weren't afforded the luxury of a goodbye kiss from their wives, although I assume many, like my own grandfather, found sweethearts here and managed to steal a kiss from them. I may have had British relatives over there, but I was never told about anyone. Like many from that generation, the war wasn't really discussed.

Did they know the scale of the operation they were to become a part of? I think perhaps not at the beginning, as so many were training in different parts of the country with their own units. I believe the majority had no idea of the magnitude until they saw the vast number of boats crossing the channel. Young men from all walks of life took part - rich, poor, straight, gay, brash, and shy. On that day, they were all equal. They all had a part to play, a job to do, a life to lose.

I think about that a lot. How many men died so that we might live freely? How would they feel if they were to see the world we live in today? The surviving servicemen must often wonder whether it was all worth it. Watching their friends and family die, only to see the world as it is today - no safer, and not really any freer.

I won't speak for all young people today, as there are many incredible ones out there, but the thought of many of them being called up for action to defend our shores and our liberty fills me with unbelievable dread. The idea of reinstating National Service seems good in principle, but it will likely attract only those who are already exceptional. The thought that our future might one day rest in the hands of those who are less than exceptional is beyond comprehension.

Times change, of course; things move on, we progress - or at least that's what we're led to believe. For now, at least, the brave men, women, and children of past conflicts are remembered, mostly with the respect they deserve. However, there are still some who lack respect for anyone but themselves, and that’s the hardest part for me. My generation will most likely be the last to actively honour those men. Generation Z may make some effort, but by the time we reach Generation A, I fear those brave souls may be relegated to history, much like the Crusades or the Wars of the Roses - events that have faded into the eternal annals of history.

I wish we, as a nation and as a world, could help future generations understand the importance of not forgetting. In forgetting, we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Both sides made many mistakes during World War II, but D-Day, this very day, June 6th was the day that helped change everything, the day that helped win the war and free those who were occupied.

On June 6th, 1944, those brave boys stormed the beaches, facing offshore contraptions covered in barbed wire that many got caught in, leaving them vulnerable to enemy gunfire with no hope of escape. The weather was foul. They walked off the landing craft into rough seas and a hail of bullets. They watched their friends, family, strangers take bullets and die right in front of them. Eye-witness reports describe the sea turning red from the amount of blood spilled. Can you even begin to imagine the utter horror of such an experience, knowing that any second it could be YOU? Can you imagine today’s gangs, thugs, and generally despicable individuals, who have no thought for anyone but themselves, being brave enough to do such a thing? Then, once they finally reached the shore, they still faced an uphill battle. 

I sat on Omaha beach back in November 2013. Just a few days prior to Remembrance Sunday. There was just me, the friend I travelled with and a family of four a little further along the beach. There wasn't a cloud in the sky; the tide was out, the sky was a little grey and the sand a beige colour, with waves gently lapping off the shore. If it hadn't been for a couple of pieces of Mulberry Harbour still visible, and the few gun turrets dotted about, you would never know anything had taken place. It was just a beautiful crisp autumn day. 

Even though I knew what had happened I found it so hard to imagine how it must have been on that day. I pulled images from deep in my memory, along with new ones I had seen whilst visiting the American Museum at Omaha to try and visualise it. I was able to get some kind of sense but never in a million years would I ever be able to see it as those who finally made it to shore had. How they would have been looking back at the waves crashing over their dead friends/family. Watching boats being shelled, men being blown out of the water. The blood, an inordinate amount of blood. No wonder so many survivors never wanted to talk about it. 

Then something really strange happened, something all six of us on that beach heard. I can only describe it as an exploding sound. All of us - the family still further along than we were, my friend on his way up the cliff to check out one of the gun turrets - looked in the same direction, expecting to see smoke rising. I stood up to get a better look, wondering what the hell was going on. Had a plane coming in from the opposite direction crashed? Had someone dropped a bomb, or come across an unexploded hand grenade, or mortar, which had just triggered? There was nothing: no smoke, no screams, no sound other than the sea water lapping onto the beach. The family made their way over to me, and through their broken English and my atrocious French, we ascertained that all of us had heard the sound and described it the same way. It was a shared experience that left us all puzzled and a bit unnerved, especially given the history of the place.

My friend carried on up the cliff, the family left (still as bemused as I was) so I took a walk onto a raised platform; it was like a pier, but only about thirty feet long and in the middle of the beach. Standing there, looking out to sea still pondering what the noise could have been, I then had what I can only describe as a bullet whizz past my ear. I actually felt the breeze from it. I knew the sound from the movies I've watched, especially those with a five, or seven D surround sound system, but this wasn't coming from a speaker, in a cosy room as I sat on a comfortable seat. I was on a beach, a beach shrouded in history, a beach where bullets would have flown past the ears of, into and through people. It was, hands-down, the most surreal moment of my life. 

Was I still reeling from the explosion sound and imagined it? Put me through a lie detector a thousand times and I will tell you the same thing; to me it was as real as I am right now typing this. Did I experience some kind of timeslip, or enter a vortex for what would have been less than three seconds? I can't answer those questions because I don't know; what I do know is what I heard. There is no rational explanation for it. 

Yes we remember them today, but we should remember them each-and-every day. We have what we have, are able to lead the lives we lead, because they (along with their parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles in previous wars and for all the years before - and after - the D Day landing) put their lives on the line for us. They died so that we may live. We must never forget.

[benefits1986]

Moon Child, Moon River

The moon seems to call me more and more the past months. Looking back, the moon has been my refuge in my darkest nights, too.  A few months ago, as I was taking a break from my ina’s wake, I was greeted by the crescent moon with the unapologetic Venus. While I am a fan of full moon and try to track them and align them with my trips outside Manila, that night was magical and mundane. I remember huffing and puffing while a tiny stream of tears fell down my cheek. I remember whispering a prayer to mother dragon which is all about making sense of this loss which I didn’t expect to hit me hard.  That night, as the moon smiled at my side of the universe, I tried smiling back. I tried to make amends to it. While Venus showed off her majesty, I somehow fought back even when deep down, I am totally wrecked. That night is a reminder that even the darkest nights can be beautiful, even when the world is weeping and the grounds are shaking. That night is a reminder that while my version of love and beauty may be rarities, they can actually come to life. That night is a reminder that when things are toughest, looking up and allowing the light and shadows to embrace me would make me feel more human.  I guess, after 37 years of arguing that mother dragon has been making grand alibi as she points the moon as my nemesis and my confidant, she might be right all along. I guess that the moon is my Polaris as I have phases, too. One too many but always in a cycle. I may not have my own light but this gift, this curse, is where I draw inspiration to intention to make the most out of the light and shadow that is bestowed upon me.  I guess that this Taurus szn is actually what I needed and wished for, too. It may be one for the books of really thick plot twists. I’ve cursed it one too many times; but during those really crazy times, I was able to earn life and love lessons that will matter not only a year from now; but maybe, just maybe, even a decade or so from now, too.  Battling a good number of trauma is definitely a highlight and a low light, too. Forcing myself to trust people amidst my trusted trust issues is another hallmark. Doubling down on facing my vulnerabilities and those I come across a la serendipity is just above and beyond me. Perhaps, one of my wins this 2023 Taurus szn is finally being able to tell stories about the my fallen Taurus Twin Towers. The shaky hands, the ego, the pride --all worth it. I owe my audience of one the hardest crashes and the major burns; because, just in case someone needs to here my shittiest and realest thought farts, here they are. As I bleed so badly in my scarlet sins, may each letter, each pause, each typo, be of help to those who maybe looking for a safe space in one way or another.  Let Moon River be the song that reminds me not only of my ina’s burial day. May it also be my guiding light as I choose to allow myself to feel instead of numbing the pain. May I choose to conquer fear instead of falsifying its existence. May I choose to be human as it is more than divine. May I continue breaking the silos within me. May I be more intentional with how I curate my life stories that are about being kindest to myself and others, too. May I choose to let the tears of sadness, of joy, of disgust, and of anger flow as I go for slow growth. May I continue choosing the path less taken and while at it, may I be with people who matter most.  Thank you, universe for sending me angels who I’ve been pushing away many, many, many times. Thank you for making me see that to heal means to help others heal in the name of healing together. Thank you, universe for allowing me to make it just in time for recalibrating my current color grade along with all shades of blacks and whites. Thank you, universe for my people. I don’t know how, but I dearly hope that these people would also allow me to be with them in their battles, especially the silent ones, too.  PS 1:  Gah. Huy. Ang seryoso masyado netong thought fart na ‘to. Dapat yata ‘yun na lang “Love... Not Like The 90s” na lang ako because sabi ng tatay ko bago ako pumasok sa opisina kanina, para daw akong clipart ng 6-year old self ko na first day sa Prep school. :D To which I replied na, tumabi siya. ‘Wag siyang tumingin kung naabala siya kasi wala na akong maisip isuot kasi ang init ng kalakhang Manynila today.  PS 2:  Baka eto lang excuse ko na next tat ko apart from biking scene namin ng tatay ko e, phases of the moon naman kasi ‘di masyadong kita mga moon elements ng existing tats ko. LOL. Saan kaya maganda ilagay saka kelan kaya papaggawa? Sa Siargao na ‘PAG mas lumabas na clavicle ko. Shemay. Kaya ba yesterday ‘yung pag-labas ng clavicle?  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  PS 3:  Bukas talaga, Pluto Retrograde na topic ko. Try natin English pero graphic version. :D 

[itsmaferart]

Thank you for your response, @theomnicode I’ve really been fascinated by several of your analyses about OPM. It’s definitely worth reading.

I've always found this parallelism with King interesting, not just in the obvious ways, but in how it can become something impactful and stronger.

The discrepancy between King’s public image and his personal reality is a theme that resonates deeply. The unfounded beliefs of public opinion could have significant consequences for him, as he feels the constant pressure to "become strong" to survive the ongoing threats to his life and the relentless pressure from rumors. King possesses the spirit of a hero; his fear (completely justified) reveals his bravery in the worst situations. I hope that in the future, One can give him a rightful place among the heroes without subjecting him to potential heart problems.

On the other hand, the automatic criticism that Saitama receives, even in trivial situations, has been a constant in his life, leading to consequences that those around him—and even he himself—often struggle to understand in terms of how they affect his perception and how he relates to a world he feels isolated from. This isn’t solely about "becoming strong," but rather a reality he has lived with since he was young, which deepened as he broke through his limits.

Saitama can be strong and have a strong sense of heroism when he recognizes that same desire for self-improvement and perseverance in others. However, his lack of social and communicative skills can lead others to interpret him as arrogant or just "an out-of-touch guy" who is superficial. Despite his incredible power, Saitama is deeply vulnerable in his heart, and his emotions—particularly his bond with Genos—represent this vulnerability.

After seeing MA, the appearance of God, Blast, and the Cosmic Garou vs. Saitama fight, along with the empty void, I feel they are marking a future direction (which may be addressed in WC and later in the manga).

It’s plausible that while characters like Garou and Saitama may have forgotten or confused certain events from their battle, God, as an omniscient entity, has not. This leads us to wonder how he might use that information to his advantage.

Emotional manipulation of Saitama could be a strategic goal for God. Perhaps he could focus on Genos and how the world might begin to see Saitama more as a danger. Additionally, we might have future tension between Genos and Saitama; we know that Genos has his own internal emotional struggles, and while their bond can strengthen, it also becomes fragile and vulnerable. Could Genos be there for him as he promised? Could he become disappointed in Saitama and distance himself? Or might Genos succumb to the weight of his own problems, desires for revenge, and death? Perhaps God could even take advantage of Genos and present himself as Saitama to him.

Genuinely, there are many things in OPM (One and Murata-sama have a lot for us), and we can only worry about our boys not suffering too much and being able to recover.

In the end, the hardest part isn’t being strong enough to destroy an enemy, but being able to live peacefully with the people you care about who keep you connected to your own humanity.

Again, thank you for your response :D

Hello! What do you think about how the society in OPM accepts that King is the most powerful being in the world? While Saitama is hinted at what may become a danger to society if his strength were to become known? Considering that King has (accidentally and through his own fault) stolen Saitama's merits?

Sorry this one took a bit to answer, I had other business to attend to. This one is another long piece, but I dropped a tl;dr at the end lol.

Honestly though? I think it's perceptional bias.

Perception bias is a broad term used to describe different situations in which we perceive inaccuracies in our environment. It is a type of cognitive bias that occurs when we subconsciously form assumptions or draw conclusions based on our beliefs, expectations, or emotions.

There are several subtypes: Implicit bias: individuals hold attitudes towards people, or associate stereotypes with them, without being aware of this. Fundamental attribution error: individuals tend to blame their failings on circumstances around them, but consider that others are responsible for their shortcomings. Selective perception: expectations about people or situations affect perception.

King is revered as a strong hero and so people would accept and expect him to have strong abilities. Child Emperor pictures these abilities and describes them to King. (Cpt 152, Check) King is also tall, large and mysterious man who somehow exudes a strong aura of being strong willed, capable and a just person. But the public does not know him well enough to actually see through their bias: A physically weak and anxious man who just tries to live his life in peace, but who has heart of gold, wise beyond his years and incredible sense of justice.

Yet despite all this, I worry for King a lot, because the cognitive bias working against him is too strong, almost unnatural. It makes little sense about why this false image is so strong, considering he nor Saitama have THAT many actually proven feats on record or even publically observed. I mean, Saitama literally destroyed a meteor and got accused for it and killed Sea King and the public turned against him...and yet none of those actual, legitimate feats are being exaggerated to this degree like Charanko describes them as in Chapter 192: Level up.

Charanko's examples are so utterly ludicrous without a single shred of actual evidence that the utter shock being told they were lies of it was enough for him to at least start shaking off that cognitive bias and question his perception and seeking out the actual truth. The guy is completely overlooked as just being a weak nobody comic relief character archetype, but he is strong willed, like when he had the guts to attack Garou in direct confrontation.

But I mean, look at this thing, this is completely absurd. Where is the entirety of OPM people's critical thinking skills?

Who in their right mind would seriously believe rumours like solar system destroying level of bomb with a bonus black hole from some rando dude on the internet? Or King not having even been born yet, somehow being the second coming of christ itself?

Plus there is only one goddamn mythology piece in this entire manga that even closely fits the bill of a human(oid) character's birth being foreshadowed and that is OPM's God's mural in a place where literally nobody has seen it before.

Who the F would even be crazy enough to imagine up and spread such a rumour that King, of all people, is actually OPM God who legit nobody even knows exists? So absurd. :D

(Above image is from volume redraw)

It's such a malicious and cruel rumour too, capable of sowing distrust and discord in the entire Hero system when people stop believing in their heroes because they think the entire system is a lie. And they would blame King for it, thinking he's to blame for the lies because he broke their idea of an hero fantasy.

The only hero I can think who actually knows about OPM God is Blast, but he's not malicious. Zero motive whatsoever.

I heavily suspect Psykos for spreading it because this kind of rumour could only come up straight from the source itself. Because she's an alarmist (Cpt 175, Visitor) and OPM God has her in his backpocket to emotionally manipulate. Fubuki might uncover some more information to discover the truth, but I'd take it with grain of salt because Psykos appears to be under some kind of mental illness, possibly psychosis, as Fubuki has pointed out that she had never been a tough girl and something changed her. But I'm no detective and I'm not void of any bias, so here's a sherlock holmes quote:

"How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? We know that he did not come through the door, the window, or the chimney. We also know that he could not have been concealed in the room, as there is no concealment possible. When, then, did he come?"

Honestly, the magic man in the sky is prolly doing it, we just don't know how because there's not enough evidence, only context clues.

-*-

Bang on the other hand, cannot shake off his bias even if his heart is in the right place. But he was just directly told face to face by King himself that he is weak and he still refuses to believe it because he stubborny keeps believing in his own biases, thinking he's always correct.

Old people do oftentimes think they're always correct don't they? Because they're oh so old and wise and experienced. He does the same thing with Garou and Garou won't accept it.

-*-

Anyways, I worry for King's flailing mental health for reasons because he's thinking about self-harm and he wants to unalive himself by monster hand because he thinks it's already Game over for him.

The cognitive bias around people's minds is actually and ironically, shielding him from the cascading effects of the mass public outcry since he's not ready to face it yet. He lacks willpower, that mental fortitude, to withstand that kind of attack on his psyche. He might do it if people suddenly just snapped out of that cognitive bias.

Some might even say... that he's the cognitive bias itself. King can bullshit so effectively because he's can literally project bullshit out of his every orifice if he needs to. If say, he needs to protect himself or other people. And as long as people keep their cognitive biases, it would help him sustain the image that he's strong and not be hated by everyone if they suddenly snapped out of their cognitive bias. So you could say that...the cognitive bias is helping him survive and protecting him.

A cognitive bias is a systematic pattern of deviation from norm or rationality in judgment. Individuals create their own "subjective reality" from their perception of the input. An individual's construction of reality, not the objective input, may dictate their behavior in the world. Thus, cognitive biases may sometimes lead to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, and irrationality.

Look, they're instantly second guessing themselves. Seems to be working very effectively. And Atomic Samurai did some incredible mental gymnastics to convince himself that just by sitting there, King just casually cut the apple even when he saw nothing and nothing literally happened in front his very eyes. (Chapter 189, Blade test.)

At least he has Saitama at his back, because Saitama has a bullshit radar a mile wide and Saitama believes he can change to be stronger. He respects King's opinion to do what is right despite knowing he lacks real power to be that force of change himself. He does not appear at a glance to show implicit bias towards King. He originally saved the guy just because he needed saving and then did it again, despite not knowing a thing about King, aside from the assumption that he must be a strong hero, even if he was asking for information to form an opinion. And then tries to dig deeper into that and questions the logic of King running away and showing lack of bias with his objectivity. (Chapter 38, King)

So as long as Saitama believes in King, he probably won't come to any real harm. But Saitama also has to believe in his own ability to actually help King if the need arises and act upon it, because otherwise it'll just be 166 chapter redux in the absolute worst case scenario.

-*-

So, about perceptive biases towards Saitama, they come out in negative light by default unless proven wrong by him directly.

I'll let the following panel demonstrate. (Chapter 55.7, Sense, vol 20 Extra)

The judge became immediately biased without any reason and attacked his integrity and pretended to know all about him when he actually knows nothing, despite this being ONLY a hero suit contest, not a character judgement and ignoring Saitama's explanation to why he likes to wear what he wears.

The judge won't acknowledge what he saw with his plain eyes as he refuses to believe what happened, Genos is showing different kind of bias because he too, is biased in favour of Saitama and thinks Saitama should win a hero suit contest just because he's strong, despite objectively having a really bland and cheap outfit even HE didn't like. Like a cosplay contest gone wrong if the judge just picks their favourite without any objectivity to their actual suit or performance and what is the point of the judging in the first place. Other people, despite cheering him on...show their true facets with their snide negative comments with their leaps of logic, attempting to tear him down for his good deed and nobody criticises them.

Now for a different kind of perception bias. (Chapter 16, Passed the exam)

Chewing gum might on a first glance, seem very disrespectful when towards authority figures who want your full attention because it inherently implies that the person is too busy chewing gum rather than paying attention, thus creating bias.

However the act of chewing gum in a situation where one wants to study and retain information has been seen as beneficial by studies.

Turns out, chewing gum may have more effects than simply making your breath smell good, or giving you something to do when bored. In fact, some studies show chewing gum can actually increase feelings of relaxation, increase attention, lower stress levels, and improve memory.

Saitama has shown even at the early stages of his teenager years that he DOES actually possess the attention span to study...as long as the subject actually interests him and he has selective interests. Despite all the chatter around him, he's able to tune them out and focus on his study. Give him something really dry and boring that just won't seem to stick and his attention span will waver, because attention is a resource to be managed.

Things like studying psychology can have their humble beginnings often in the interest in what affects human health, because personality types who are keen about bettering others like knowing what makes people tick in order to help them.

So it can be assumed that Saitama, knowing he has a poor attention span in boring seminars but has studied the subject before, anticipated this and simply brought chewing gum to help him focus just a bit more. Unfortunately, Snek became hostile to him and Saitama completely lost his focus and his attention wavered. This is how negative perception bias affects Saitama in his everyday life.

Another example of this selective attention span is where he watches the television because he's also interested in bettering the world as a whole, again because he likes helping other people and it brings him satisfaction. He often watches tv as an adult as well, to the point of doomscrolling. He even has Mob Psycho shirt on, a nod to ONE's other series to show that he's very empathic at his core. (Chapter 8.5, 200 yen, Vol 1 extra)

However, it is also shown that Saitama is incredibly sensitive to baseless judgement, hostility, bias and outside influence and he will get defensive and angry when faced with such and when challenged. (Meteor and Sea king fiasco) People like this who also have high moral integrity like Saitama has shown time to time again, also care great deal about their reputation in other's eyes, because it shows to them if they are doing a good job or not in their moralistic actions. Like a peer review.

Not getting any good feedback and instead met with various levels of hostility just conditions them to not try at all because they think it's their fault that everyone is against them. So Saitama early on has been faced with conditioning and now for instance, he thinks he just can't learn anything new even if he made an honest attempt. He has become insecure and self-critical and will think of himself in a negative light. (Stagnation and growth, chapter 76.) He has effectively build cognitive biases about himself and his true identity.

Here is Saitama attempting to unravel the cognitive bias around himself because he made a self-discovery. King, in his infinite wisdom, gives Saitama some objective perspective when Saitama immediately wants his second opinion about his perspective surrounding this new discovery. King, bless his heart, attempts to genuinely help Saitama but he misses the point of the discussion when Saitama was trying to see if he could bounce his ideas around, such as throwing a video game analogy to King that Saitama knows he SHOULD understand well. Saitama is just very poor at expressing his words due to his upbringing and loneliness and detatchment from emotions, especially without properly parsing it out first. He often thinks a lot louder than he seems to talk, which is why he's often misunderstood.

That is, unless he apparently connects on a deep level like with Genos and then the two of em could talk about anything and everything that comes to mind for days or until they run out of breath lmao. (Maji Drama CD vol 1, Saitama makeover)

King's perception bias towards Saitama is because he just does not know him well enough and his perspective is a bit skewed because of media influence that bring him comfort for his own emotional loneliness...because Saitama is always hung up about something or another because he has so much issues it hurts. King just does not see it or is not willing to believe "Super strong Saitama" could possibly have any issues since Saitama hides them well.

Saitama has far too much free time to think and ruminate, but his own cognitive biases stop him from seeing his true self without all the negativity surrounding him. The negativity of things such as his upbringing as a lonely boy who's sensitive to hostility. (Chapter 15.5, Brushing up, vol 2 extras)

-*-

Perception bias also serves another more...sinister purpose for Saitama. Psychological conditioning. There is potential evidence for deprivation of basic needs, conditioning for violence for protection and subliminal messages for suggestion, among other things. I won't go into details because I'm afraid of also potentially spoiling stuff, so I'll keep the suspense. :D

Here's maslow hierarchy of needs pyramid that explains about our intrinsical needs as human beings to have wellness in both body and mind.

Being deprived of all these needs is akin to mental torture. But so is facing all of the underlying issues at once via hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy if the patient is sufficiently dysfunctional in a societal setting like Saitama happens to be. Especially if the therapies are performed...poorly.

CBT has shown to be the most effective intervention for people exposed to adverse childhood experiences in the form of abuse or neglect Criticism of CBT sometimes focuses on implementations (such as the UK which may result initially in low quality therapy being offered by poorly trained practitioners. However, evidence supports the effectiveness of CBT for anxiety and depression. Evidence suggests that the addition of hypnotherapy as an adjunct to CBT improves treatment efficacy for a variety of clinical issues. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and its symptoms have been shown to improve due to implementation of hypnotherapy, in both long and short term. As research continues, hypnotherapy is being more openly considered as an effective intervention for those with PTSD.

In short, in order to heal mentally, Saitama may need to face mental torture because he has such strong willpower and such strong mental barriers shielding his vulnerabilities on a basic primal need. He can essentially dip himself on lava and ignore the shock reaction from the extreme heat (Chapter 112, Sacrifice) and does not even need to breathe in space and does not notice the extreme cold or pressure of space nor the sun's harmful rays, that's how strongly he shields himself from outside influence. (Saitama vs Garou fight, cpt 167-168) But there only needs to be a sufficient trigger.

ONE sent Saitama home to restore his energy levels in Chapter 197, What only I can do...because he's going to sorely need them for the upcoming confrontation.

Empty Void's ability to genjutsu people casually and cause parallel shifts in the reality and using these to abuse emotional dependencies is like a loaded Chekov's gun on Saitama's forehead. Because Saitama has been roleplaying to re-learn his emphatic skillset after he had suffered too much mental trauma and he's done that a lot with Genos just via interaction. I heavily suspect that Saitama's emotional regulation and empathy suffered when he became too strong and he was emotionally blunting himself.

So, if they so happened to use Genos against him and trigger his PTSD, there's no telling how Saitama will react.

Saitama more than likely has some mental illnesses like disorders and at the very minimum PTSD, not just depression, which can be used maliciously against him and the entire OPM world. There is one more thing about psychological conditioning, but I'm not gonna say it out loud here on this meta, I'm afraid to spoil it. :p *rubs hands gleefully*

There is also a high chance that if he's stressed enough and sleep deprivated enough, he could honestly go into psychosis if the entire world suddenly turned on him because he's sensitive to criticism and hostility.

Psychosis is a condition of the mind or psyche that results in difficulties determining what is real and what is not real. Symptoms may include delusions and hallucinations, among other features. Additional symptoms are incoherent speech and behavior that is inappropriate for a given situation. There may also be sleep problems, social withdrawal, lack of motivation, and difficulties carrying out daily activities. Psychosis can have serious adverse outcomes.

That's where he would truly become a danger to both himself and the entire Earth he's living on if he starts to have delusions, hallucinations and becomes out of touch with reality and also paranoid. So unless Saitama's mental health is adressed in a proper environment, he's a ticking time bomb till someone pulls the trigger on that PTSD and other issues he has. Empty Void can easily do exactly that by abusing his attachment to Genos in a cruel way, just like he tried to do with Flash and Sonic, starting from Chapter 200, Void.

Even seemingly normal, kind and well-adjusted people at the core can become very unpredictable when under high amount of duress and psychosis.

As underlined above, everyone always seems to default to the negative viewpoint of Saitama due to their perception biases and if Saitama's true strenght became more know...public would outright fear him simply because they cannot understand the scale of how powerful Saitama actually is, abnormally strong. Like they'd suddenly become prey to some unknown entity. Add in Saitama becoming more and more loose with his inhibitions from things like sleep depression and they'd have a huge mess in their hands.

Even Garou who fought against Saitama with everything he has, is completely shocked about how insane Saitama's abilities are, because they defy physic laws like it's nothing, so Garou goes "This is insane! What the hell IS this monster!?" when Saitama sneezed jupiter apart. (Awakening of the gods, chp 168)

Saitama has also shown dubious morality by attempting to punch and kill Garou to avenge Genos, but not really thinking or caring that the entire Earth would become collateral damage like Blast mentions as he portals and contains the explosion in Earth atmosphere. Chapter 166, Squared & Cpt 167, I.o) Saitama's mental state, when normally calm and seemingly well-adjusted, was thrown out of the window when he saw Genos died on him and has now become a PTSD trigger. He literally vented out all that anger in his fist in a massive clash of divine power, as told by the Blastice league.

So if perception bias surrounding Saitama was to turn sideways and he'd get dumped the pressure of the world against him, the consequences might become...bad. Saitama needs to be able to regulate his emotions far better in order to withstand mass scale attack from public opinion. Otherwise ONE is playing with fire with Saitama's mental health state, because he does NOT react well to criticism an such and will lash out like he did during the meteor incident, but far worse.

Thus, a danger to society.

-*-

Tl;dr: King has always been viewed in positive light so people perceive his powers as good thing and non-threat because they believe King is a great hero, whereas Saitama has always been surrounded by negative preconceptions about whatever he seems to be doing and public opinion about his hero status is not good, so Saitama busting out his massive, unknown power would instead cause uproar and mass scale panic that someone is even capable of such.

Thanks all for reading and thank you itsmaferart for this question. :)

[bunni-bino]

How The OP Boys Say “I Love You” To Their S/O

How You Know He Loves You- idk man

A/N : enjoy.

includes » Ace, Sabo, Luffy, law, Sanji, Zoro, Marco, Rosinante, Kid, Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri, Izo, Koby, Cavendish,

Summary : the boys’ own way of saying “I love you”, with their own words and ways. Or, how you know he loves you.

? Wait did I do this before? I don’t even know. also these aren’t GREAT, but they aren’t HORRIBLE. Yk? Honestly tho, some of these seem like they’re all over the place, which yes, they might be. UGH IT WAS SO HARD THO.

-

Monkey D. Luffy

Luffy loves you like an adventure. Everything is new and always fun to try with him, and no matter what happens, you don’t ever regret it, because you’re doing it with him.

He’s persistent in staying with you everywhere, he wants to do everything with you. He tends to invite you ( by pulling your hand ) to do crazy things with him and away from the others so you’re alone.

He’s always showing off his skills and stupidity in order to make you laugh, because your smile is the best thing he’s ever seen and giggles are the beautiful sound he treasures.

His actions are genuine when he holds your hand and pulls you to his side all the time, with the warmest, loving grin.

Luffy always makes sure to remind you to never give up hope.

“Let’s go on an adventure together, [Name].”

-

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro loves you like you’re his one and only. No one has priority over you, ( except maybe Luffy ), and you will always be his, if you’ll let him.

Zoro is not a man of many words when it comes to his own emotions and feelings, so he shows it through his actions.

He always has an eye on you, so wherever you are is where he ‘sleeps’ so he can keep you close, his swords at his side to protect you from danger, ( but he knows you can handle yourself. )

Zoro is the perfect person to lend a comforting shoulder and ear. He will listen to every single one of your problems intently and if he can, will offer the best advice you’ll hear, even if it’s a bit harshly. However, whatever got you so down, Zoro will bring you back up.

Zoro is always reminding you that you are strong, no matter how tough things get.

“Oi, come take a nap with me. I could use a body pillow.”

-

Portgas D. Ace

Ace loves you like a gentleman, respecting boundaries, bowing to the elderly you pass by together and always ready to pick you up for your date at seven, bouquet of flowers in hand.

If Ace is good at anything, it’s knowing how to distract you with a good time. He knows the best way to bring a beautiful smile to your lips and can easily make sure to avoid the thoughts that brought you down in the first place.

He’ll share stories that will make you die of laughter or feel so wholesome that you literally melt at how sweet it is.

The few times he expresses and shares his insecurities to you, something he hides within him because he trusts you enough to do so. He loves your understanding and comfort for him.

Ace always reminds you that you’ll be okay, even at the worst times.

“You are the light of my life.”

-

Chief of Staff Sabo

Sabo loves you like a prince. He holds the door for you, takes your hand so you don’t fall, has the most charismatic smile on his face and is just so charming.

Sabo will remember the littlest things, the smallest details that you yourself don’t even know until he reminds you, and because of this, you are often gifted the most memorable and cherishing gifts, like the scarf you two bought for your perfect snowman, to the necklace you were staring a little too longingly at on display.

He’s always busy, but he doesn’t hesitate to drop whatever he has just for you. He will run through fire if it means you’ll stop crying or if you’ll be happy to see him. You are his lifeline, his soul, his love.

He may not know how to properly cheer you up like his brothers can, but he knows that he wants the best for you. If you need space, you got it. You need some tender loving cuddles and buckets of ice cream while watching Disney movies? Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

Sabo reminds you that you deserve happiness and peace.

“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

-

Trafalgar D. Water Law

Law loves you like you’re his savior, someone who’s always there during his time of need and insecurities, by his side when he needs you most.

He’s a little blunt and straightforward occasionally, but he’s honest somewhat. He won’t ever tell you his feelings until he deems it the right time, but you can tell he has feelings by the change in treatment.

He’ll keep you closer to him, making excuses by saying that he needs you to help him with the supply run, or that he needs your assistance with a particular menial task.

He’s awkward and shy about it at first but he cares and that’s all you need to know. Especially once you catch him during one of his weaker times, the anniversary of a particular someone rolling around, where he’s locked in his room. He needs you beside him, so please don’t leave him when he needs you.

Law reminds you that you are human, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

“Just stay here with me.”

-

Vinsmoke Sanji

Sanji loves you like a god/goddess. He will treat you with the utmost respect and care and offers you everything you could possibly want or need, just say the word.

His genuine, endless daily compliments are given to you with pure love and passion, his daily refreshments and snacks to keep you energized and hydrated keeps an eye out for your health.

He makes sure you know the true meaning of flattery, chivalry and love, because that is all he can show you.

However, under that chivalrous exterior, is his calmer, understanding loving self, where he shows his true self and when he finally shares this side with you, where he holds his insecurities, it’s the true honor and love you can receive. And it’s even better, when you become the one who loves for him in return during this time.

Sanji reminds you that you deserve to be and are loved.

“You are my world, my everything.”

-

Marco The Phoenix

Marco loves you like a married couple who grew old together, still playing jokes and having fun to life’s fullest, no matter your age.

He’s constantly lecturing you for the smallest things repeatedly, since you always seem to forget. His lectures lack any annoyance or malice though, he’s just kind of done with you sometimes.

Nonetheless, he’s taking care of you more than you think, always the first one there whenever you need help. He’s always prepared for whatever you need so you don’t have to look for it and get worried.

He’s stern at times but he loves you more than you could ever know, often questioning himself whenever he’s beside you. He half-lidded eyes watching you with warmth and admiration because you always look so determined.

Marco always reminds you that you are free. To live life to its fullest and however you wish.

“Let me fly you to the moon.”

-

Donquixote Rosinante

Rosinante loves you like a husband, he treats you like his wife, either you or him welcoming each other home after being gone for so long and greeting each other with a loving kiss each time.

He knows just how tough things can be and as much as he tries to make things right, he knows how bad situations really are and no matter how much he wants to cry or get angry, he always holds a smile, in front of you. To assure you that things will be okay.

He gives the warmest hugs, and knows that, so whenever you’re angry or sad, or just randomly at times, Rosi envelops you into a large hug, waddling you back and forth a few times, you feel instant relief and content, which makes him smile.

His priority will always be you, even if he’s hundreds of thousands miles away, he will find his way back home to you. He surprises you with the littlest gifts; being flowers, jewelry, candles, or more.

Rosi will always remind you to smile, even during the hardest times.

“I will protect you.”

-

Eustass Kid

Kid loves you like a game, it’s unexpected, unpredictable of what will happen and it’s exciting and thrilling. For you both, one wrong move, and the other is gone for good, but perhaps, second chances/rematches are available.

He can be brash and a bit much, but Kid has high respect for anyone who actually makes it onto his crew and can actually tolerate him, you included.

He’s loud and wild but that only makes it part of the fun. With such a short fuse, as long as you play your cards right and pick your moments to bite back, it’s kind of fun knowing how dangerous it can be with a guy like Kid, and he also loves it equally, because your feistiness is attractive.

Being a bad bitch that doesn’t play by the rules is so incredibly attractive and Kid knows how to reward and punish so tread carefully. ;) however, he has his down moments and as annoying he can be, he does appreciate the effort you give if you try to comfort him. He’ll be harsh about it but eventually, he just wants you to be with him in the end.

Kid reminds you to rebel, take risks and enjoy the thrill of getting in dangerous situation every once in a while, breaking a few rules doesn’t hurt anybody. Most of the time.

“Don’t fucking ever leave me.. okay?”

-

Dracule Mihawk

Mihawk loves you like you’re an empress, only the finest and highest quality for you, nothing else can compare.

Mihawk will buy you the most expensive dress that suits you, with an equally expensive matching jewelry to go with. Not to mention the heels, and, tch, how could he forget the roses you require? Despicable.

As much as he loves to show you off, he despises the stares of awe and admiration you receive whenever you go out, so his possessiveness takes over and he has an arm around your waist at all times, successfully showing you’re taken and to back off if they don’t wish to be cut into oblivion.

He trains you to handle yourself, obviously, you should know at least some basic skills. He’s not too hard on you but does push you to keep going until you truly wish to stop. It’s only because he’s worried that one day, he won’t be there and won’t be able to protect you.

Mihawk reminds you that you are a queen/king, a strong person who shall hold your ground and never back down from fear and show your bravery.

“Come here, mi amor.”

-

Red Haired Shanks

Shanks loves you like you’re his future. It’s an unknown journey, but he’s there for the ride and whatever may happen, he’s there staying and won’t be going anywhere, unless it’s with you.

The red head is a goofball, he drinks, parties and messes around but he is an incredible captain and genuine to a fault. So when he expresses kindness, it is purely from his heart and not out of manners.

He is extremely playful and yet when down to business, he is calm, collected, and cool. He knows just what to say in tough situations and great comforting advice, so he’s the one to go to when you’re feeling down. And as laid back as he is, disrespect to those he loves is the one shit he won’t take.

He’ll hold you close and with his signature grin, compliment you and tell you how much he appreciates you and as soon as someone lays a finger on you, his hand is on the hilt of the sword and he waits three seconds for an explanation before he cuts them down. No one messes with his beloved.

Shanks reminds you of loyalty. To always protect and care for those close to you, and keep that built up trust and bond you created with them.

“Trust me. I won’t let go of you.”

-

Charlotte Katakuri

Katakuri loves you like you’re glass, he’s careful, protective, cautious and treats you like you’re fragile, because he’s afraid of hurting you.

He’s larger than most, he’s aware of that, so he always takes the precautions to be aware of his surroundings, especially when you are around. He wants you safe and he will be devastated if he is the cause of your pain.

His large stature is a blessing to you though, because cuddling is so comfortable and comforting, it’s amazing. You can curl up and relax and just be at ease with him, because he’s so protective of you, even from his family members. He often keeps you away from Cracker and Perospero, in the slightest chance that they try to take you away from him.

He’ll be extremely heartbroken if Big Mom doesn’t approve of you, but his love for you is stronger, so he’ll keep it a secret if he has to but eventually, he’ll pray and wish for her blessing, asking the help of his siblings to convince her.

Katakuri reminds you of family, that even friends or crewmates are family and love you all the same.

“I will be here for you.”

-

Captain Koby

Koby loves you like a typical high school crush. He’s all shy and blushy, and evidently embarrassed when the pretty one at school is talking to him, ( that’s you. ).

He’s like the wallflower type, who tries to blend in but somehow, he sticks out in a way that lures you to him, like he’s hit the jackpot.

He is incredibly sweet, and his shyness is so adorable. You can’t help but coo whenever you see his red cheeks and soft smile of care he offers.

Always helps you with everything, will take the blame whenever you get in trouble, takes the suffering and pain when guys try to mess with you, and no matter how tough things get, he’s holding a brave face for you.

Koby reminds you of kindness, treat everyone with care and kindness, and it goes a long way.

“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”

-

16th Division Commander Izo

Izo loves you like you’re a painting, he thinks you are true beauty, inside and out, you are a work of art, a true Mother Nature masterpiece born. One to be admired.

The type to be there. He’ll hold your hair while you vomit, rubbing soothing circles on your back while you cry, painting your nails while you complain about Ace, assure your perfection when you’re feeling insecure.

Best advice giver, holds no judgements at all. He’ll help with anything, because you need him. Romantic advice, friendship, sexual advice ;), he will help you any way he can.

He truly admires you, not because of your beauty, but your strength to be able to cry. Crying doesn’t mean weakness but rather, strength to be able to move forward even in the worst of times.

Izo reminds you that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone thinks or says.

“You are true beauty, my love.”

-

Cavendish Of The White Horse

Cavendish loves you like you’re a princess, and he is your handsome Prince Charming.

Every thing he does it like from a fairytale, if it involved a rather.. bit of a narcissistic Prince Charming. But he means well, because he still treats you like a real princess.

He gives you daily horseback rides, teaching you with his strong arms wrapped around yours and his black fancy hat on top of your head, as you two ride around and share laughs and memories.

And even through his big ego, he still makes sure to compliment you, tell you how proud he is of you and how much he truly admires you for your strong will and determination, because he really does love you. More than you know.

Cavendish reminds you that dreams can come true, sometimes it just takes a leap of faith and effort.

“I will treat you like the princess you are and deserve to be.”

-

A/N : 15 fucking people and having to think of different things while I’m distracted is so HARD. 😭 please tell me you enjoyed though ;-;

but did I do this already? God I can’t remember a thing, especially since I still haven’t updated my masterlists- and I’m terribly sorry if this really is all over the place ;-; also apologies if this is repetitive for some of them! It really is difficult yk ;-;

[maibi]

Last Time

Gojo Satoru x reader

Summary: after your break-up with Gojo you go to his apartment, which you used to share, to get all your stuff. But you thought you were doing bad, until you saw him. 

A/N: this was gonna be angst with a very bad ending, but while writing I was hurting myself so I decided to make it a little less shitty T_T I'm so pussy wtf (it’s still kinda sad)

——————————————————————————

It’s been a month. A month after your break up with Gojo. You had been together for almost 5 years and leaving each other may have been one of the hardest decisions. But you had no choice. You had to in order to be able to leave it there. You need to start anew, you had to leave it there in order to live your life. Even though you still loved each other, it felt like the best option, at least for you.

In order for you to be able to live independently, to make your own money you had to take the job offer overseas. But Gojo had to stay there, for his students. And you didn’t want to make it any harder for him. His students needed him and you knew for a fact that he needed his students. His students were amazing and taking Gojo away from them would only hurt everyone.

In those 5 years of being together you had been living together for almost 3 of them. After the break-up you hadn’t returned to that home, staying at a friend’s place that was barely ever home. You needed to get your stuff, but it all still felt so sad. You couldn’t bring yourself to, but you had to stand strong. You had texted him, telling him you’d get your stuff. You filled your car with boxes to help you move out your stuff and while you drove to your shared apartment. Or at least what was your shared apartment.

You stayed in your car while being parked, fiddling with the ends of your shirt. You picked your nails and your mind was thinking about so many things at the same time. You didn’t know how you’d approach him and you didn’t know how in the world you would pull yourself together. You were still not over him and only thinking about the fact that he might be will just ruin you. 

With a sigh you stepped out of your car and took a few of the boxes that you could carry to Gojo’s door. You knocked on the door and silently prayed that he wasn’t home. Everything would have been easier if you still had a key, but with you rushing out you left yours with him. 

Your head shot up when the door was opened. You were greeted with a sleepy Gojo. His hair was tousled and his shirt was wrinkly and pulled down so much that his collarbones were visible. You looked away and couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. 

“Hey”, he said in low voice, almost inaudible. “Uh- come in”, he said.

You wanted to pick up the boxes, but he beat you in doing so. He took all of them inside for you, but didn’t say another word. You stayed at the entrance of the living room while he walked in and placed the boxes on the ground. 

You saw take out food and cup noodles and it made you wonder if he had been eating properly. He looked skinnier, as if he wasn’t before. The house wasn’t a mess, but it wasn’t that clean either. It made you wonder if he had been taking care of himself. 

He saw you staring at the table and immediately cleaned up any evidence of take out food. “I haven’t had the time to clean up yet”, he said to you with a sad expression as he walked to the kitchen.

You couldn’t emotionally take this and just wanted to leave. If you saw him like this for even more than a second you knew you’d change your mind, but you couldn’t. You had to do what was for the better, he could easily find someone new, that’s how amazing of a person he was.

“You can come in you know, I don’t bite”, he said as he walked back in the living room. 

You took a step forward and felt the tears in your eyes sting. You really did love him and leaving like this really hurt you. “I’ll start with the bedroom”, you said as you took a box and walked to the bedroom.

You opened the door and looked at the oh so familiar room. It felt like it had been untouched since the day you left, but the changed sheets told you otherwise. His scent filled your nose and you just wanted time to stop right there. 

You walked in further and saw that he hadn’t touched any of your stuff. You noticed that one of your shirts was on the bed, on his side and you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking that he probably did the exact same thing as you. You had left this place with only a few clothes and you say you had one of his shirts on your side of the closet and you took it with you.  Even though his scent had worn off, you slept with it almost every night. How childish it may sound, it calmed you. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to pack up any of this. You sat down on the bed, looking around you. A tear rolled down your cheek. This wasn’t supposed to be this dramatic. You had thought to yourself.

“Can I come in”, you heard Gojo say from the entrance. 

You shot your head to the side, wiping away a tear. You nodded.

He sat down next to you, but left enough space between you. Was it strange that you wished he didn’t? But he thought you just needed space from him. He didn’t know about the whole new job thing. You thought it would have been better if he didn’t know. Because if he did, he would consider leaving with you. And like you thought before, you couldn’t do that to his students. 

“I see you didn’t touch any of my stuff”, you said, not looking at him.

“I mean, how could I?”, he said. “I still love you after all.”

“Don’t say that”, you said in a whisper while dropping your head..

“Why? Will it make you change your mind?”, he asked in a low tone. 

you shook your head. It just made you feel guilty. Which you actually were. You stood up from your place and walked to the desk that was in front of the window. There was a picture of you and Gojo. The picture both of you loved so much. The two of you on the beach, you knew it was cliche, but you sill loved it very much. A stranger took that picture and you can’t forget about how amazing that day was.

“Was it something I did?”, Gojo asked.

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t bring yourself to. You weren’t used to seeing him like this. So vulnerable, so sad. You thought he would be over you, but he seemed to be doing worse than you. The bags under his eyes and his slightly pale skin made you think that perhaps leaving him wasn’t the right decision to make. But you needed this job. 

“Just please tell me what went wrong”, he said. “I really can’t do this anymore.”

You didn’t say a word back at him. You were scared that if you kept talking that the both of you would just break down. You knew for yourself that you where on the edge, but you could tell he was too. 

“I just don’t understand what went wrong. Was it something I did? Cause if it was-”, he said stopping mid way to take a deep breath, “-just please tell me what it is that I did wrong so I can make it up to you. I can’t loose you.” He said the last in a whisper. 

Tears formed in your eyes. You were scared that if you talked right now, you wouldn’t be able to hold your tears in front of him anymore. 

“For god’s sake just say something. anything”, he said louder now. “I can’t do this anymore, just please-!”

“Don’t yell at me”, you said in a whisper; “Please don’t yell at me.”

Tears were falling from your eyes and they didn’t stop. He was silent for a moment and started mumbling to himself. Blaming himself again. You heard him walking up to you, but you didn’t turn around just yet. You waited to see if he would do anything, but he didn’t. So you turned around and the second that you did he slowly pulled you in his embrace and placed his head on your neck. 

“I’m so sorry. I know- I know I can be a dick from time to time and I know that I get cocky. I know I'm not the best human in the world, but please at least allow me to try and change. Please just- please just don’t leave me like this”, he said as his voice cracked in the end. 

“I’m sorry, Satoru. I really, truly am. But this isn’t about you, this is mainly about me and my decisions. I-” You wanted to say it to him, you wanted to tell him you still loved him, but telling him right now might just ruin everything. 

“I can’t live without you. I really truly can’t. This was the shittiest month I've ever had and I can’t stop thinking about you. Just please, don’t leave my side.”

“I don’t have a choice, Satoru”, you said, in a whisper while your tears were falling falling from your eyes on his shirt. You could smell him and his sweet scent made you cry even harder. This was the last time you would be able to be this close to him, this was the last time he would touch you and this was the last time he would be talking to you like this. Because you were leaving and nothing was stopping you. 

[lilolpotato]

warnings: some are darker than others, each will have different warnings and some won't have any at all. different reader in each oneshot.

kirishima eijiro : the apprentice

kirishima didn’t own much. he spent his time working as a lowly apprentice, nothing at all to his name. as he scoured a forest looking for dry wood, he found you, a beautiful fairy, crying. somehow, it lead to you both making a deal; you would infuse kirishima's products with magic so he could have a better life, and he would make sure you never felt lonely again. maybe you shouldn't have made the deal, kirishima found himself thinking, because he would've done anything you asked anyways.

release date: TBD

denki kaminari : the adventurer

constantly moving from place to place as he discovers the wonders of magic and puts his life at risk for adrenaline, denki can’t be chained down. meeting you was interesting, to say the least. at first you seemed to be a good source of entertainment, easy to tease and talk to. but then it became more than that, he realized, while gazing at you with a dopey smile and a blush on his cheeks. and for the first time, denki kaminari wants to stay.

release date: TBD

todoroki shoto : the prince

of course he thought you were just a servant. without a doubt, that’s all you were. you cleaned his clothes, dusted his room, you were beneath him. but when you let him cry on your shoulder, when he angrily spoke about how the public thought he was spoiled, when you laughed with him at his bedhead he thinks about how you might just be a servant, a peasant, but in his eyes you were more. as you avidly described the world to him, your eyes gleaming as you spoke passionately, shoto knew what you were. you were his world.

release date: TBD

shigaraki tomura : the tyrant

all you were was a young adventurer with wild ideas and parents in the nobility. sure you were a sucker for danger, but he didn't think you would try and reason with him, if you could even call it that. using the vocabulary of a sailor to describe a powerful, unhinged man with an army under his command right in front of him was a bit of stretch even for you. but somehow, you find yourself bewitched by him and wondering, is it so bad that he hurts the world that hurt him first?

release date: TBD

aizawa shota : the sorcerer

leaving your home was one of the hardest things you've had to do, but you couldn't burn with your kingdom. perhaps you hadn't thought it through as you find yourself lost in a forest, the dark and the promise of bandits and dangerous creatures unnerving you. but when you find an eccentric man who promises to keep you safe as long as you help heal him, you wonder whether it's his magic protecting you both or his lack of a tunic when you suddenly feel butterflies invading your stomach.

release date: TBD

midoriya izuku : the forest nymph

izuku was walking through his forest, and everything seemed just perfect. well, that was until he noticed you break a few branches running away from guards with a grin. noticing him, you quickly grabbed his collar and pinned him to a tree, telling him "they'll think you're with me, don't scream." you explained smugly that you just stole couple things and they overreacted. he finds himself taking you in, as you spend time together. but you show him how to hold a sword he can't seem to focus on anything other than your lips.

release date: TBD

bakugou katsuki : the half-dragon

when the commander issued you to kill a dragon, you weren’t expecting to actually find one. but now that you have, fighting it is getting really exhausting really quickly, and you're starting to feel really guilty. so you decide to look into it's red eyes and try and reason with the monster, only for it to be a he.

release date: TBD

shinsou hitoshi : the siren

being a siren could be incredibly boring, shinsou had admitted to himself. and then he found you, shipwrecked on an island and alone, completely vulnerable. maybe it was cruel, but he was ravenous and you seemed delicious. and so he sang, and you swam. he might've devoured you had it not been the gem around your neck.

release date: TBD

takami keigo : the thief

as an alchemist in your apothecary, the last thing you expected was for your shop to be robbed. it doesn't have much money, and the only thing you sold was herbal medicine, plants, and healing potions. and of course there were your own experiment potions, simply for the fun of it and sometimes dangerous. a week later, the damage better, you didn't expect them to break in again, this time with you there, attempting to charm you into helping them get rid of the crimson wings sprouted from their back.

release date: TBD

dabi : the pirate king

finding yourself on the grimy floor of a pirate ship wasn't an ideal situation, especially with a sword just barely grazing your neck. and so in your desperation, when a rough voice asked what exactly you would do to live, you screamed "anything!" when you met his cobalt blue eyes and your eyes flickered to the amused smile on his face, you knew that you made a mistake.

release date: TBD

[blushinggray]

bakugou is babie

i saw a tweet/fanart about bakugou’s mommy issues slipping out and now my brain is festering

cw // fluff, soft bakugou, comfort(?)

it was easy to see that katsuki wasn’t totally used to your affection. and while he pretended to hassled or unaffected by it, he still accepted it. you just never realized to what extent he actually liked it until you started living together.

you were used to his tsundere side, his obvious dishonesty to hide his feelings was a habit you’ve seen in him long before you started dating. but sometimes you wondered how he grew to be that way. it wasn’t only when he was hiding when he was pleased, but also when he when made mistakes.

those were already rare occasions on their own, but when he messed up something he knew was his fault, he would actually clam up and wait for you to react like you’d explode at him. so when you would only sigh and clearly explain your feelings to him, share why it was you were upset or disappointed in how things turned out, and still tell him you loved him at the end of it, he would look at you like you had sprouted something out of your head.

perhaps a halo, in his eyes. because you only continued to react like this when he made mistakes or unintentionally upset you, and you still would make him lunch or fold and put away his clothes for him or kiss him goodnight. you only held him to the expectation that he would learn from his mistakes and do better. and he would, but he still always seemed bewildered that you’d treat him with kindness and care, no matter the situation.

“i don't get how you still got so much patience for everything." he said one evening as he was cuddled into your chest, lying on his stomach between your legs on the couch with his arms wrapped around your waist.

he really liked this position. at the beginning, you expected him to prefer to be the one holding you in his lap or being the big spoon or supporting your head when you fell asleep watching a movie. but this position makes it easier for him to feel close to your heartbeat, and for you to run your hands through his hair. you've come to realize that despite having the hardest exterior of all, he seems most at peace when he's in your warm, supportive hold.

"well, if no one had patience with others, no one would have the courage to improve."

"hmm..." he hums vaguely into your chest before settling himself deeper into your body.

you just chuckle and think he's going to leave it at that, but eventually he says, "i'd always get my ass beat for messing up. or talking out of line. or being dumb."

"yeah, it's kind of weird because your mom is honestly the sweetest person otherwise." you laugh as you recall how easily she would switch between doting on you and shouting at katsuki when you visited the bakugou household. you can practically hear katsuki pouting against your chest, which only makes you laugh more before you offer some extra head and neck rubs, "she loves you though. i think she just wanted you to grow up to be a strong kid. which you did."

"tch." he scoffs, moving his head to make it easier for you to get to his neck, "if it was anyone else, she'd have raised some quiet, intimidated loser. she's fucking lucky it was me."

you hold your tongue in pointing out that he is an exact copy of her, which is why he turned out okay. but you can sympathize with the fact that growing up with tough love makes it harder to accept or express different forms of it.

it took a while to figure out what he was comfortable with and what he actually liked when you went out of your way to take care of him, but now he's tucked snugly into you without a worry in the world outside of this room. he trusts you to hold him while he's being vulnerable and you feel more than privileged to get to see this side of him, and be the rock for someone who's already so independent and amazing on his own.

being with him is a delicate balance of knowing when to give and show just enough without making him feel embarrassed about wanting it. but you've come to read him well enough to know when he wants to be the man and when he wants to pout and be hugged. and you'll happily baby him to his heart's content when he craves it.