#being really oddly productive for no fucking reason

[katierosefun]

hot girls will randomly get out of bed at 1:45 am to clean out their entire closet (it’s me, i’m hot girls)

[bunni-v1]

Heyyaaa

May I request dorm leaders finding out you’re a girl please? If it’s too much u can make a part 2

Dorm Leaders Find Out You're a Girl?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)

TW: Mentions of transphobia (nothing awful, just literally dropping the word lol); Idia is creepy

Info: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus x Reader (Platonic or Romantic); Fluff, Comedy(?)

🍓This one is gonna be long, like 5.3k words long. I love writing the dorm leaders so damn much <3 Besides, there’s been a long wait for this one, so I hope I make it worth it! You might see some favoritism shine through, but I did my best to keep it even. Hope you all enjoy!

Tags: @kierancaz @danchann33 @arashrita @the-ace-reader @akiyamasmizuki @kitsun369 @bloomstruck (I think I got all of you)

First Years

Ortho Sebek

Second Years

Third Years

-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?

-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.

-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.

-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)

-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)

-So how do you two do it?

-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.

-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.

-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)

-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.

-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part. 

-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.

-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.

-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.

-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!

-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good… trial run.

-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…

-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.

-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course).

-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.

-So… how do they find out?

Riddle

-Riddle is the last student in Heartslabyul to find out.

-It’s not like he did anything to you for you to hold off on telling him (you know, other than the whole almost killing you that one time thing), it’s just that you don’t feel inclined to tell him. 

-Simple as that.

-He also really has no reason to question your gender. 

-Riddle didn’t have must interaction with people his own age until he came to night raven college, he doesn’t have the same social ideologies as other people do.

-Nightraven college is really his first touch with society outside of his mothers very watchful, conservative eye.

-So, excuse him for not picking up on stupid little gendered norms that the other students do.

-In his eyes, you dress like a man, you act (sort of) like the other male students, and you prefer he/him pronouns. 

-There’s nothing more to it then, right? If you identify as a man, he has no reason not to treat you as such - nor should he suspect you would hide your gender like that.

-Besides, this is an all boys school! Crowley wouldn’t allow you to attend here unless you were also a boy… right?

-He is aware there are exceptions — and you are already QUITE the exception, but surely Crowley wouldn’t be so cruel as to force a young woman to attend an all boys academy.

-Ah, sweet Riddle, ever in denial.

-He isn’t STUPID though. He notices how brotherly Trey is to you. He knows (and has heard) your many “secret sleepovers” with Cater.

-He ignores these things and doesn’t comment on them simply because, well, he likes you!

-He helps to tutor you sometimes, and he’s gotten to know you through that, and he really does come around on enjoying your presence.

-So, he ignores Trey and Cater’s odd behaviors for your sake.

-You keep him and his dorm members in high spirits, why would he want to shoo something like that away?

-He doesn’t really questionthings until he… overhears a conversation between Deuce and Ace. (A rather loud one, for how supposedly secret this topic was meant to be).

-One of them had gotten in trouble with a professor, and he was going to give them a stern scolding when he overheard what they were talking about.

-“Deuce, dude, you’re gonna want to sit down for this one.”

“What is it, I’m busy trying to finish my potionology homework.”

“Seriously this one is crazy, you’re not ready for for it.”

“Ace, if you’re just messing with me I’m going to leave.”

“Dude, the prefect is a girl.”

“…What?”

-Riddle did not bother the two after that. In fact, he just walked back to his room to sit and think about what he just overheard.

-It DID make sense. You didn’t quite fit in with everyone else for reasons outside of your otherworldly origin.

-You acted differently than the typical guy here at NRC, and you seemed to get along with the peers that were more ‘traditionally feminine’ best.

-It would explain Trey’s coddling and Cater’s secretiveness.

-Still, he didn’t want to assume. This was Ace and Deuce, and Ace could just be messing around with Deuce.

-So, at your next tutoring session, he broaches the subject as politely as possible.

-“So, prefect, I have… overheard something that I wanted to ask you about.”

“Oh no, am I in trouble because of Ace and Deuce again.”

“Not… technically… I did, however, overhear them talking about… you being a woman.”

“…I’m gonna kill them.”

“I could collar them for you, if that would help.”

-The confirmation was reassuring for Riddle in multiple ways. 

-1) Ace isn’t as terrible of a person as the thought he was.

-2) He wasn’t crazy in noticing the slight differences in you and your other peers.

-Now, you and Riddle aren’t exactly super close by any means, so your interactions with each other are limited to when you’re either being tutored or with friends in Heartslabyul.

-However, he is notably more nervous than he usually is.

-He doesn’t have some super secret crush on your all of the sudden, he just… never really had a chance to interact with women before.

-His mom kept him very sheltered from the opposite gender, so he has little to no experience with them.

-On top of that, because of his mother, he does have a slight fear of women. He’s afraid he’s going to upset you and you’ll blow a fuse on him or something.

-You have to assure him that you don’t bite and you won’t suddenly start screaming at him for no reason, and then he begins to relax a bit.

-Still, he’s very sweet and gentlemanly to you.

-If you need help with anyone around campus, you should come to him and he will have them dealt with accordingly.

Leona

-Leona “Respects Women” Kingscholar.

-Leona has SLIGHTLY worse smell than Ruggie, but he also knew immediately upon your arrival that you were a girl.

-In fact, he knew you weren’t a trans man, because they smell distinctly different from the typical woman.

-There aren’t many trans people in the Savannah though, so Ruggie not being able to pick up on that doesn’t really shock him.

-Leona, however, has smelled and seen plenty of trans people in his life time — you aren’t one of them.

-He won’t lie, he’s definitely interested in you. Women where he comes from are big and strong and proud, you’re just kind of plain.

-He keeps his ever curious eye on you though, because he’s interested in how you might navigate this whole thing.

-Now don’t get it twisted, he doesn’t care about you, he’s curious about you. 

-If you were to ask him for help on something, he wouldn’t offer it. (Not that you would, you seem particularly averse to him).

-However, if he were to see some creep trying to… well… creep on you, he’d chase them away without ever having you know he did.

-He was your secret bodyguard who wouldn’t admit it even if you held a knife to his throat.

-Still, he stayed out of your way and you stayed out of his. 

-A symbiotic relationship that you weren’t even aware existed… until you got in his way.

-Like Ruggie, when you start getting a little too involved in his ahem business, he gets pretty damn annoyed.

-You’re not exactly a threat to start, but you are a little trouble maker. If you find out what he’s up to, you’ll ruin his plans completely, and he can’t have that.

-However, he’s not exactly comfortable “taking care of you” like he is his male peers.

-He respects women, okay, you can’t blame him for not wanting to purposefully hurt you. (If his mom and brother found out, he’d never hear the damn end of it)

-He sends out Ruggie to scare you off, explicitly telling him he can’t hurt you on purpose.

-He knows Ruggie already has an idea of what’s going on, so he doesn’t have any qualms with telling him to be careful with you.

-Still, despite all this, he doesn’t really broach the topic until he’s forced to.

-He’s made it known to you, at this point, that he knows your secret. 

-He hasn’t caused you any extra trouble since his overblot, and he keeps his dorm members off your back, so you have no reason to interact with him… until, again, you get yourself into trouble.

-This time it’s YOU dragging him into your mess, despite him wanting nothing to do with it.

-You are convincing, though, so he gives and allows you to stay in his dorm room — rent free! Isn’t he so nice.

-Jack offers himself for protection if you need it, but you can see that Ruggie is quite bemused with the whole situation, so you decide to turn him down.

-Leona hasn’t tried anything yet, and he really could if he wanted to.

-You decide you can trust him. (You have to trust him).

-Then presents the issue of sharing a bed.

-Leona isn’t a weird pervert, okay. He isn’t absolutely leaping at the idea to be in bed with you — he’s so sorry.

-Honestly, it makes him a bit… uncomfortable.

-Sharing a bed is something you do with family or someone you’re involved with, not the weird magic-less kid who’s at least three years too young for you.

-So, Leona, ever the women’s rights activist, approaches you with a proposition.

-“Listen, I know you’re a woman and I know you know that. We’re not sharing a bed, there ain’t no way that’s happening.”

“Oh, so would you like the poor helpless homeless woman to sleep on the floor? How cruel can you be Leona.”

“Shut up, I’m not gonna do that to you. Listen, you can have the bed all to yourself and I’ll sleep on the couch, so long as you promise not to tell a single soul about this.”

“I promise.”

-You immediately tell Ruggie the next morning, and he is sure to make sure Leona never forgets it.

-Living with Leona for the short period of time that you do is very insightful!

-He’s actually pretty funny, much smarter than he lets on, and almost brotherly to you. Which does not fit the M.O. you built of him in your head.

-He’s gruff and pushy, but he does it out of genuineness.

-You end up getting really close to him because of it. 

-His quiet and laid-back demeanor are a break from the chaos of everyone else on campus, and he doesn’t make a big deal out of anything so you can just complain and he nods along unbothered.

-Only thing you notice that upsets him is when you bring up guys who bother you.

-Those guys tend to stop bothering you shortly after. How strange…

Azul

-Azul is hands down the last person on campus you want knowing about this.

-Riddle, Ruggie, Trey, Cater and pretty much everyone with half a brain tell you to stay as far away from him as possible.

-You see him in the halls sometimes, and he doesn’t look to bad. Unapproachable, sure, but he’s a rather pretty guy. Well put together and seemingly very smart from what you’ve been told.

-He helped to subdue Grim in the opening ceremony, so you know he’s magically capable. He’s also a house warden, so that goes unspoken, I suppose.

-He seems interested in you, from what you can tell. He always waves at you when he does see you in a sort of fake friendly kind of way. 

-You’ve seen him and his little (large, very large) goonies admiring ramshackle before.

-You’ve also politely asked them to not do that when you moved in, because it freaks you out a lot. To which they all gave you very eerie smiles and walked away.

-They remind you of a very small mafia, and you decided to heed your friends warnings because of that.

-You do so successfully for a long time too. Other than the few previously stated interactions, Azul seems un-inclined to bother you, and you don’t want to catch his leering eyes.

-Little do you know, Azul has a much more watchful eye on you that you initially thought.

-Sure, you don’t have much to offer him magic wise, but you have ramshackle. Oh, how he wants ramshackle.

-You are key to obtaining it, he just… has to find something on you first.

-You’re so painfully average. Perhaps a little more pretty in the face than his other peers, but you sacrifice that with the atrociousness of your uniform. 

-Truly, nothing about you is different.

-He almost gives up until Grim delivers him an opportunity in a pretty little bow.

-You agree to his contract out of the goodness of your heart, just like he knew you would. So sweet and kind are you, to practically hand him the deed to ramshackle on a silver platter.

-He notices, however, that Jade grows a very… sudden fascination with you.

-Sure, he told both Jade and Floyd to keep and eye on you and keep you in like, but for Jade to be so interested… very odd.

-Then, shortly after, Floyd’s own interest is piqued. Alright… less odd than Jade, but to have both of their eyes on you must mean he’s missing something. (I know I previously said that Floyd found out after Azul, but I was stupid and wrong and you should never listen to me when I’m talking about Floyd).

-He tries to get it out of them by any means, Asking, blackmailing, manipulation. He really does try, but their lips are sealed tight.

-It frustrates him to no end that they know something he doesn’t, and that he can’t figure out this very big secret.

-It stumps him for so long, because he’s looking in all the wrong places for the answer.

-Meanwhile, you know that Jade and Floyd know and you are TERRIFIED waiting for Azul to use this against you.

-The suspense starts killing you and making you anxious enough that its affecting sleep, so you decide to bite the bullet and arrange a meeting with him.

-Azul is honestly delighted, because he was just going to outright force the truth from you at this point.

-“I’m glad you set up this meeting, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“I know… I’ve been pretty nervous about it since Jade and Floyd started pestering me.”

“Before I talk about what I want to, I’d like to hear what you have to say. I’m a good listener after all.”

“Too good, if you ask me. Uhm, anyway, so I know that Jade and Floyd to you that I’m a girl already, but I’m really hoping you would just leave me be. You owe me after all.”

“…You’re a girl?”

“Did they not tell you…?”

-what. What? WHAT?!?!?!

-How could he not tell, he feel so incredibly stupid. Its so obvious now that he thinks about it.

-No wonder Jade and Floyd wouldn’t stop teasing him about it.

-He agrees not to let the secret out — he DOES owe you his life, after all. This is a minor trade.

-However, he does not mentally recover from this revelation for a while.

-He doesn’t treat you very different, I suppose. He’s more gentlemanly with you, and is generally more friendly, but those things come from saving a persons life regardless.

-He is, surprisingly, willing to ensure your whole gender thing doesn’t get out so long as you work a few hours at the monster lounge.

-Probably the best at keeping it to himself and making sure it doesn’t get out. You wouldn’t expect any less with Azul, though.

Kalim

-You and Kalim don’t really have much of a chance to interact.

-He seems sweet enough, and you know he’s much kinder than the rest of the dorm leaders, but you don’t really have any reason to interact with him.

-Kalim also doesn’t think too much of you. 

-You caused a ruckus at the entrance ceremony, that’s for sure, but you kinda blend into the background.

-Besides he’s a party animal — constantly hosting these huge parties at his dorm just because he can.

-As someone trying to keep out of trouble and hide such a huge secret… yeah, parties aren’t exactly your forte.

-So, when you get roped in to coming to Scarabia over winter break, Kalim is pleasantly surprised!

-He’s always excited to make a new friend, and you’re pretty infamous around school, so he’s extra excited to get to know you.

-Kalim has no reason to question anything about you, like most other people would.

-However, he isn’t stupid. He has plenty of younger sisters, and he picks up on social queues better than you’d expect.

-He definitely suspects something is off, but he figures you would tell him if something was up. 

-You actually find him quite easy to be around. He’s someone who makes it easy to let your walls down and just relax with.

-Despite his sudden mood shifts, he always makes sure that you’re happy and healthy and doing the best you can be in your position.

-However, you run out of the magical potion that deepens your voice pretty quickly, and you have to go back to dramatically straining your voice.

-You sound sick, honestly, and it makes Kalim worry. 

-He figures that you’re forcing yourself to deepen your voice so you’re still perceived as a man.

-Instead of asking you directly, as Kalim does, he goes to Jamil.

-“Jamil…”

“What do you need, Kalim?”

“Don’t you think somethings… off with the prefect?”

“Off? What are you talking about, nothings off with them.”

“No, I mean… do you think they might be… a girl?”

“…Kalim, that’s very rude to say. You need to be more respectful.”

“…You’re right, I’m sorry. Could we get him something to soothe his voice though, it sounds rough.”

-Kalim is a lot more watchful of you after that. He just… knows something is wrong, but he doesn’t want to be rude.

-It’s actually you who comes to him when no one is around for help.

-“Kalim, uhm, I need your help.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“So, I’m pretty sure you know, but I’m not a guy… I’m a girl, and I really need help hiding it. The longer I’ve been here, the harder it’s been on me.”

-Sweetheart he is, he promises to both help you and keep your secret to himself — and he does both surprisingly well!

-He offers his private bathroom to you so you can shower in peace. 

-It’s honestly the best bath you’ve ever had with all his sweet smelling oils. Your skin feels so smooth and renewed.

-Still, even with this, you still don’t feel safe with anyone else — plus the fact that Kalim has random and horrifying mood shifts. You have to flee.

-And yet you still get dragged into more trouble with the octatrio. You still get exposed to the whole dorm by a crazed Jamil, and now have to deal with the horror that they’ll tell everyone.

-Kalim feels awful, and thus shows his forgiveness in the best way he can: giving gifts.

-You get tons of apology gifts from him in the coming months. Baskets of the best shower stuff you’ve ever had; a new, better fitted but still innocuous uniform; enough tuna to keep grim satisfied for years (and sweets that you happily keep to yourself).

-It’s so nice, but you start to feel bad. It feels like you’re taking advantage of his guilt, when you’re not really upset at anyone involved anymore.

-You’re welcome at Scarabia any time. None of his dorm members will ever cause you any trouble, and you can dress and act and sound however you want within Scarabia’s walls. 

Vil

-Miss beauty queen himself. We love Vil, we Stan Vil, we adore Vil… 

-Oh my god he’s a pain in the ass though, especially for you.

-He sees through you in an instant.

-Truly, Vil finds you to be more of a little pest than anything.

-You are constantly in trouble, you are magic less, and you decided to needlessly hide your gender.

-The last one is the worst offense in his eyes.

-Vil is someone who does not value gender, but expression. Your gender does not matter as much as your expression, therefore you hiding your expression irks him.

-He’s understanding enough in the fact that he knows you might be doing this to protect yourself, but he finds it stupid and useless, because you’re easy to see through.

-He avoids you, and you avoid him. Simple as that.

-Unfortunately for Vil, you’ve caught Rook’s eye, which means he must sit through many hours of Rook rambling on about his “findings” about you.

-When you tried out for the VDC, he was simply going to turn you and Grim away, but Rook convinced him to give you a chance.

-Rook wanted him to help your reveal your “inner beauty”, though Vil wasn’t sure if you had any of that.

-You wore baggy, horrifically ugly clothing up until winter break. Your hair was constantly a mess. Your skin was poorly taken care of, and the bags under your eyes were as dark as night.

-It almost made him feel bad for you… so despite his better judgement, he decided to invest time in you.

-Vil makes it very clear that he knows what your whole secret is.

-“I am aware of the fact that you are a woman, however, I will continue to use your preferred pronouns since it seems to bring you comfort.”

-He’s very insistent that you allow him to do your skincare AND your makeup whenever you give him the chance.

-Especially when he moves into ramshackle temporarily, he’s very insistent on maintaining your skincare routine.

-He essentially makes your entire nightly routine himself, and is right there over your shoulder making sure you do it right.

-Despite how overbearing it is, you actually make good friends with him through this.

-Being stuck alone in a room with no one but him to talk to forces you two to talk.

-You get to learn why he cares so much about appearances, and he gets to know why you hide to protect yourself.

-“It’s just… easier to pretend, because guys will bother me less that way.”

“I can’t understand why they would bother you. You’ve done nothing to them, so why would they want to do anything to you.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know either. I just know it’s scary, and I don’t want to deal with it.”

-You move him, honestly. You’re strong even though you’re scared, and that’s beautiful. Thats what true beauty is.

-He helps you embrace your inner self and express that, while still helping you to hide your gender in a way that feels safe.

-You are always welcome at Pomefiore, and you can come to either him or Rook if you have any issues at all.

-It’s like having a big sister, almost.

Idia

-Idia has eyes everywhere.

-Every inch of that campus is (illegally) being monitored by his watchful eyes. 

-When he’s bored in class, he flicks through the cameras to amuse himself — maybe he’ll see someone slip and fall on their ass. That would be funny.

-He’s not really interested in you in particular.

-In fact, he’d like to keep a very far distance between the two of you.

-You’re… intimidating. You’ve fought some of the most powerful mages on campus and won.

-Total final boss energy, not something Idia is interested in being around.

-What he IS interested in is that wittle kitty you’ve got following you around.

-When he’s bored in class, he goes searching for Grim, and where Grim is you are sure to be.

-So, despite his aversion to you, he ends up spending a lot of time watching you.

-He starts to notice… things about you.

-He notices that you seem to put on a tough guy persona around… well… other guys in your class.

-When it’s just you and Grim though? You’re the softest softie he’s ever seen.

-It’s top tier cringe watching you try to being all macho, so he much prefers your more quiet and relaxed self you show in private.

-Seriously though, you’re a TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON when you’re alone with certain people.

-EVEN YOUR VOICE CHANGES!!!

-It’s so uber creepy, it’s like a jumpscare every time you drop that fake deep voice.

-If he’s being real, you’ve got a pretty voice. Honestly, you’re really pretty period. Too pretty to be a guy honestly.

-…

-….

-…..HOLY SHIT!!!

-He has to check your medical files to be sure — which he obviously has access to, thanks to having access to everything Ortho has access to.

-Blah blah blah allergies, blah blah blah horrific injuries from overblots, blah blah blah- AH HAH!

-Next to gender you are listed as… transgender man.

-He doesn’t wanna be that weird transphobic incel, but from what he’s seen? He highly doubts that.

-From what he’s seen in his (invasive) watching, you’re definitely doing the troupe of hiding your gender to better fit in.

-He feels like he’s in an anime or something.

-He doesn’t really want to bother you about it — but from watching you, you seem like someone he’d really enjoy being around.

-Ortho also insists that he’d get along with you very well!

-…It’s worth a shot right.

-He tries several times to “bump” into you, which always ends in him skittering away in fear.

-He psyches himself out every time. “They wouldn’t even wanna hang out with a loser like me.” “They’re way too cool for someone as lame as me.” 

-It’s not until you invite yourself to one of tabletop club’s meetings that he’s forced to interact with you.

-He’s really banking on the fact that you’ll be too busy talking with Azul to notice him, but then Azul leaves and its just you and him.

-Him and you…

-Both of you… in total and complete silence.

-…yep… 

-“Uhm, Idia…?”

“yES!?”

“I came here cause I wanted to talk to you, sorry for being so underhanded about it, I just couldn’t get you alone without you running off.”

“AH— I mean, ahem, okay. My bad.”

-You totally cornered him like an evil villain.

-All because you wanted to… be his friend?

-Is he dreaming, going insane perhaps, did HE get isekaied into an alternate universe where he was likable???

-Nope, Ortho just talks him up a lot, and you think his hair is cool. Huh. Kinda lame compared to what he was thinking.

-You guys talk a LOT after that. You exchange numbers and you text him about all sorts of stuff — and he’s actually interested in it!

-You learn that he’s been watching you and Grim for a long time, and while you scold him.

-You think it’s pretty funny that he’s embarrassed about his love for cute things.

-“If you’ve been keeping your eye on me for so long, you must’ve figured out that I’m a girl, right?”

“Yeah, you’re not great at hiding it. That macho guy act is suuuuper lame, you look like a noob lol.”

“Hey! I’m just copying what Deuce told me to do!”

-You guys don’t really see each other face to face very often, but like I said you text a lot.

-Sometimes he’ll text you shit like ‘I saw that, saved it for blackmail.’ After you biffed your shit on the pavement or something.

-When Idia gets more comfortable, you two spend hours on call whenever you get the chance.

-He lends you some of his precious manga, and even gives you an older TV he had laying around so you can watch stuff at ramshackle.

-Sometimes he invites you over to play video games with him and Ortho, and he gets all cocky and proud when you gush about how cool all his tech is.

-And, yeah, Idia definitely forms a little crush on you — but he would do that regardless of your gender. 

-He just likes you a lot, and you can feel safe on campus knowing he’s watching over you when you need it. (Mostly watching Grim, tbh.)

Malleus

-We know that Malleus enjoys… creeping outside of Ramshackle.

-He spends quite a lot of time on your front lawn, therefore, he’s usually in proximity of you.

-However, he is very intimidating!

-As a young woman in a magical world that you are not from, a very tall man with horns is the exact opposite of what you want to be around.

-Besides, you’ve heard the rumors about him — how powerful he is, and how scary he is.

-Malleus, on the other hand, is admittedly curious about you.

-He finds humans in their own right incredibly interesting, but you are not just a regular human.

-You are a human who has no magic and is from another world entirely. 

-You are something he has never once seen in his whole life, so excuse his childish curiosity.

-Still, you’re sort of cleverly avoiding him at every chance you get, and he just can’t quite find the time to talk to you.

-Until one night, you come back rather late and you find him in your yard… again.

-You send Grim in by himself and decide to confront him by yourself, because you are tired of being afraid to fall asleep at night.

-“Hey, you, could you maybe not stare at my house in the middle of the night!”

-Oh. You are quite feisty, and very bold to approach Malleus Draconia with such an aggressive tone.

-“I’m unsure what you mean, I’m simply admiring the architecture.”

“I don’t care WHAT you’re doing, you’re freaking me out! I know you’re supposedly some big scary monster guy, but I need you to STOP being weird outside my house.”

“…My apologies…”

-Malleus is pleasantly surprised at your spunk — he’s never been spoken to like that, he’s excited by it.

-After you yell at him, you let him explain himself, and you realize he is just… really, really bad at socializing.

-He wasn’t watching you, he just really enjoys silence and ramshackle is the quietest place on campus — even with you living in it.

-So, you give him the benefit of the doubt, because he really does just seem like he’s lost on everything around him 90% of the time.

-You don’t hang out with him during the day, but if you happen to see him on your lawn (as he usually is), you go out and hang out with him for a while.

-It makes Malleus happy, because you treat him like a friend. You give him cute nicknames, and you invite him inside for snacks, and you go out of your way to say hello to him when you pass him in the halls.

-He also gets to know more about you, and his curiosities about you and your world get quelled.

-He doesn’t really question anything about you, especially not your gender.

-Gender is hardly important for fae, and you seem confident in your expression, so he has no reason to wonder. Besides, there are far more thrilling things about you than your sex.

-So, you and Malleus start to grow close. So close, in fact, that you can confidently say that he’s one of your closest friends.

-At this point, almost everyone who you want to know about your gender knows. Everyone but Malleus.

-Initially you kept it a secret because you didn’t know how good he was at not talking, but now…

-Now, well, you don’t really have a reason.

-People usually question you at this point, or at least seem suspicious, but Malleus?

-Malleus shows not a hint that he thinks something is up. It’s odd to you, isn’t he supposed to be super smart or something. Maybe he’s just too respectful.

-Regardless, you decided to talk to him about it the next time you see him staring at the gargoyles around campus.

-“Hey Tsunotaro, what’re you up to?”

“Just admiring these gargoyles here, aren’t they fascinating? They were the first few installed in the school, if my memory serves me correctly.”

“They are very cool, but could I ask you something not gargoyle related?”

“What is it, child of man?”

“You know that I’m, uhm, a girl right?”

“Oh. I did not know that, how interesting.”

-He doesn’t understand why you would hide that, but it doesn’t really perturb him that much.

-The most you got was an eyebrow raise, and then he was back to his gargoyles.

-You were pretty satisfied with that, so you figured he wouldn’t tell anyone… and then you hear him loudly talking about it with his friends in Diasomania.

-Sigh… he means well, but he just doesn’t get the social stuff.

-You’re not mad, because pretty much everyone knows at this point, but it still sucks that he’s such a loudmouth.

[notmyneighbor]

sway | female doppel reader x francis mosses

rating | explicit

words | 4.2k

alcohol, cigarettes, sexual content

ao3 link

The hotel cocktail lounge is like an open buffet for doppelgangers.

You’d really lucked out cloning that young, attractive, newly hired lounge singer, disposing of the original before she could cause any trouble. While so many of your brethren struggled to get into the heavily guarded, overcrowded apartments for shelter (and food, of course) you had the better fortune of landing a job at the swanky city hotel with the added bonus of a room upstairs to reside in. Working smarter, not harder.

Sure, you might not enjoy the aftertaste of all that alcohol that’s saturated the humans’ systems but hey, it’s still easy pickings for a hungry invader like yourself. You have a set of genuine documents that verify your identity, pilfered from your victim. No one even bothers to screen in the lounge, because if you’ve made it that far inside, it was too late to worry about it. The identification cards are still required, though, ensuring you’re the legal age to drink. Funny, what humans thought important, when their world was being devoured right out from under them.

Perhaps the most impressive feature of your stolen life is the fact that you actually like your new employment.

At first you’d balked at the idea of working for the humans, but you’ve really started to warm to it lately. You enjoy the music. The pretty gowns you get to wear. The admiring stares which you return easily. Meat regarding meat, right? The ones you liked the least became your next meal, lured to the parking lot, the side alley, hell, you’d even snacked on one in a housekeeping closet. You were careful to space feedings apart, though. Discreet. You’re not going to fuck up a good thing like this.

There’s a new customer at the bar tonight. You’ve been here long enough now to recognize who’s a local and who’s passing through, the regulars and the fleeting visitors. Another reason this was such a good place to hunt for prey—so many people coming and going. You tried to leave the locals alone and fix your sights more on the traveling folks instead. Their absences could be more readily explained. No one would notice them missing right away, and by the time they did, well, it was much too late.

In spite of the fact that he’s a newcomer to the establishment, you recognize the milkman that’s seated at the far end of the bar as a local. He looks as if he’s come straight from his job, with undereyes so smudged it seems as if he’s been working in a coal mine, not delivering dairy products. The bowtie around his neck is loosened and draped in careless wrinkles, the top button of his shirt undone. His cap is on the counter, next to a pack of cigarettes and a book of matches. After a few rounds the man serving alcohol had finally just left the bottle. You’ve been served free vodka between sets, clear like water but damn, that taste. You’d have to be pretty desperate to force that down straight on the regular.

Still, you nod your thanks and glance at the stranger again. He’s completely focused on the drink. Shame that, because the more you look at him, the more you find yourself appreciating his appearance. As wretchedly exhausted as his features are, there’s still something oddly appealing about his face. You study the way he swirls the liquid in the glass before taking a contemplative sip, the movement of the pronounced arch of his throat as he swallows it down. You’ve never thought of the humans as attractive before, but this one…

It wasn’t completely unheard of for doppels to have some fun with the inhabitants of this planet. It wasn’t always just copying, killing, eating. You yourself have never indulged. No one has captured your attention like this. Maybe it’s because he disregards you so strongly. Immune to the charms you’ve replicated. What was it he liked in a girl? You could make yourself look like anyone he might desire. The ideal lover, really. A new face and body to suit every mood.

There are other customers already gathering at your elbows, praising your singing talents, your beauty. You smile and murmur polite gratitude but you’re not interested in any of them. It’s that milkman you want.

Your target polishes off the last of the glass in front of him, dragging the back of his wrist across his mouth. He reaches for the sealed pack of cigarettes now, tapping the box against his palm to pack the tobacco tighter before peeling off the plastic wrapper and flipping the cardboard top open. He withdraws one of the cylinders inside and tucks it between his lips, next seeking out the book of matches. Red phosphorous struck, you can detect the faintest scent of it as the match is lit, the end of the cigarette now aflame, the match shaken violently until it’s extinguished, then tossed into the ash tray nearby.

Now your eyes follow the path of that lit paper roll, tucked between the middle and index fingers, brought to his mouth, the deep inhale and then exhale, a thin white stream of smoke clouding the air in front of him.

For a moment you allow yourself to indulge in imagining yourself sitting next to him. Lifting that cap off the counter and placing it on your own head, teasing him to retrieve it, staying just out of reach. Getting closer. Walking your fingers up his sleeve. Playfully tugging the cigarette free from his fingers and slotting it into your own mouth. You don’t truly understand the humans’ fondness for the nicotine laced tubes. You’ve never tried one yourself, only in a second hand kind of way after you’ve chomped on someone who indulges in the habit. But this man made it look appealing. You’re wondering at the taste. At the way it feels to breathe those substances inside.

Your name is called—not your real name, of course, but the identity you’d stolen. The manager, reminding you it’s time you retook the stage, break time over. There is some polite clapping, some whistles. The lighting changes as you take up your position behind the microphone on the stand, nodding to the musicians behind you. You have copies of all of the artist’s whose songs you’re covering in your room, an extensive selection of records. You’d learned the lyrics easily, and if you messed up during performance, no one seemed to mind much. The place was more about a feeling. A relaxed, languid kind of atmosphere. Unwinding after a long day of work. Taking a respite during travel. It’s Dean Martin’s sultry crooning you adopt now, your fingers stroking the stand as gently as if you might caress a lover.

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me, make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore

Hold me close, sway me more

You move your hips gently in time to the music. The light catches on the sequins of your emerald gown, making them sparkle. It’s low cut, molded to the curves of your body. You glance over at the man still seated with his back to you. You’re going to get this man to turn around and pay attention, one way or another.

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me, sway with ease

When we dance you have a way with me

Stay with me, sway with me

You’ve descended the stage, bringing the microphone with you. Each table is draped in a white cloth, with a candle centerpiece. You move around the room, gifting attention to patrons at random, batting your eyelashes or blowing kisses from your painted lips. It’s all for show, all smoke and mirrors, concealing what your true intentions are.

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have the magic technique

When we sway I go weak

The range for the wireless mic is limited, so you can only travel so far. Your milkman is frustratingly out of reach, for the moment.

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth, sway me now

You return to the stage, and the tired looking human has finally turned on the bar stool to regard your performance. He hadn’t been here during your first set. It seems you’ve finally made him take notice. Your eyes lock with his as you sing the chorus.

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have the magic technique

When we sway I go weak

The stage lights snap off in time to the music, your fellow artists pausing for a dramatic effect before resuming playing as you reach the final verse, the lights now focused solely on you.

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth, sway me now

Applause. More wolf whistles and cat calls. You smile and thank the patrons, your gaze once again flicking toward the man at the bar. The cigarette in his mouth has been forgotten, the charred end lengthening, threatening to drop off on its own. He hasn’t touched the glass that he’d poured before you began singing.

You’ve got him.

***

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about the males of any species, it’s that the more you ignore them, the more they pursue you.

So you don’t follow up on the progress you’ve made with the milkman that first evening. Truth be told, you’re starting to get hungry, and the sweating man with the shifty eyes at the rear of the lounge looks like he’ll keep you satisfied for a couple of days, at least. It’s all too easy to convince the human male to follow you into the recesses of the alley between the hotel building and the warehouse next door, your actions concealed by the rows of dumpsters when your impromptu ‘date’ turns into a meeting with teeth and claws.

You get a night off from work in between sessions, allowing other acts the chance to perform, but word of mouth is quickly spreading your borrowed name as the favorite. It’s you the customers really want to see.

Wednesday evening arrives and your milkman is back. A beer in front of him now. No cigarettes today. He looks a little less rumpled. Bowtie fastened. His eyes are still bruised looking, though. Did the man ever sleep?

You’ve got a little time before you’re due to begin. You’re not supposed to favor any one particular patron, but you figure you’re a big enough attraction now that you’ve earned a little autonomy. You saunter to the bar—he’s chosen the same seat again—and lean against the counter. Today you’re clad in ebony. Same shape as the dress you’d worn previously, hugging your figure and leaving little to the imagination with its tight fit, the teasing bits of skin exposed through the slit of the skirt, the low dip of the bodice and the narrow straps keeping the sparkling garment hooked on your otherwise bare shoulders daring anyone to resist that offered temptation.

This delivery driver doesn’t look. He’s too polite for that, apparently, even though the way you’re leaning would allow him a great view of your décolletage. Or maybe he’s too shy. There’s a nice bit of color in his cheeks, blossoming after you’d approached, and you don’t think alcohol is solely responsible for that effect.

You reach for the ID card he’s left beside his cap, dropped there after entering the lounge. “Francis Mosses,” you read out loud, thumb smoothing over the DDD logo in the corner, eyes roving over the expiration date. The cards and the entry requests were tricky to get just right, especially if you didn’t know your target well enough or if the doorman was too astute. Or just plain overzealous. You wonder how many innocent humans had been unintentionally eradicated by the very person that was supposed to be screening for invaders and protecting them from harm.

“You go by Frankie? Or Frank?”

“My…my mom used to call me that. Frankie,” he adds for clarification. His cheeks are scarlet now.

You smirk, tapping the card on the counter. “Hmmm. But you’re not a little boy anymore, are you, Francis? All grown up now.” You boldly reach for the beer on the counter, taking a swig directly from the bottle. It tastes as putrid as all the alcohol you’ve sampled thus far, but that’s not why you’re imbibing it. The milkman stares at you, transfixed by your every movement.

“Better keep this somewhere safe. Wouldn’t want this to fall into the wrong hands—or claws—would we?” You rest a hand on one shoulder, tucking the card into the pocket of his work shirt. You see the nervous gulp of his throat, feel the warmth radiating from his body in that brief touch.

You complete your first set—five songs, running your total time performing just under a half hour—and begin making your rounds again, schmoozing with the attendees. Saving Francis for last.

“Wait for me by the elevators after I’m done. You know where they are?” Your lips are close to his ear. You can still smell his aftershave from what must have been early that morning. You hate rising before dawn. You much prefer the nights. Easier to hide. Take what you want. Feast.

“Yes,” he manages to croak out softly.

“Good. See you then, honey,” you purr into his ear, making him shiver.

***

The man sticks out like a sore thumb.

Francis is pacing restlessly back and forth in front of the elevator doors when you arrive later that evening after your last set, rubbing the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable until you approach and then he freezes, standing rigid. Maybe a little of his natural instincts were kicking in, prey sensing predator. You’re not going to harm him; at least not unless that’s what he wanted. Maybe shy boy liked it rough. You would soon find out.

Wordlessly you push the button for the elevator and step into the carriage, gesturing for him to join you when it seems as if he is truly welded in place, forever stuck to the hotel’s carpets. You reside on the third floor, at the rear of the building. The room is generously sized and nicely furnished. You step out of your high heels gratefully as soon as you’ve cleared the door, one of the nuances of fashion that you don’t appreciate quite as much. They were really quite uncomfortable to walk in.

The human male hovers just inside the doorway, his nervousness radiating from him. You’re starting to wonder how much experience he has with females in general. Maybe you should have waited for a night when he’d been a little more intoxicated, when his inhibitions had been a little lower. But you’d been impatient. Careful about all those other details when it came to consumption, but this type of hunger, this lust, is a demanding mistress you aren’t accustomed to dealing with.

“Have a seat. Get comfortable.” You switch on the living room lamp and gesture towards the plush white couch and he sits stiffly at one end, his cap clutched by the brim in his fidgeting fingers.

You pull the hat away gently and toss it onto the coffee table, then sink down at the opposite end, not wanting to intimidate him too much just yet. You can see the pulse jumping in his neck. Such a lovely throat. You’re willing to bet the blood inside would be sugar sweet.

“You got a girl?”

“Uh…no. I’m single. I live alone. I have a daughter. Her mother and I…we all live in the same apartment building.”

“Hmmm.” Your polished nails drum on the arm rest. “That delivery job of yours stresses you out, huh?”

“It’s just the hours. Longer days. A lot of people don’t want to leave the house anymore, now that…” His voice trails off.

“Now that the doppelgangers have invaded,” you finish for him.

“Right.”

“You ever see one?”

“No. I mean, not that I know of. Kind of seems like the last thing you’d ever see if you did. That’s another part of what makes the job difficult. You don’t really know what’s on the other side of the door. Have you ever…?”

Every day when I look in the mirror, you think. You merely shake your head for his benefit.

“You know how to give a massage? My feet are killing me.”

“I, uh…”

“It doesn’t take much skill. You’re just rubbing.” You lift the train of your dress and shift positions so your nylon clad feet rest on his lap, stretching out across the length of the couch. You see the slightly alarmed look on his features and your voice is soothing, patient. “It’s okay, Francis. You’ve got this.”

His hands reach tentatively for one foot, placing one over the top and the other underneath. His movement are stiff, brisk, awkward, until you begin to hum that Dean Martin song he’d seemed to enjoy, making his hands slacker, softer, caressing the sore areas. You interrupt the melody to groan appreciatively, stretching further, letting your heels grind against his thighs. It’s starting to feel good. He has nice hands. You want them on you in other places.

You slide one foot closer to his crotch, gently stroking. He’s gone immobile again, startled. You drag both feet back and stand, now moving in front of the seated man, lifting your dress so you can straddle his lap. His hands reflexively reach for your waist. You dig your hands into his thick russet hair, tugging his head back slightly.

“You ever have any of those lonely housewives ask you to come in? Make a special delivery?”

“N…no. It’s just business. No one notices…”

“You sure about that? Maybe you’re just too polite to notice when a woman is hungry.” Your free hand tugs on the bow tie, loosening it. You undo the first two buttons of his shirt. You want a taste of that gorgeous throat of his, even if it’s only the top layer and not the succulent fluids below that you’re after.

The pleasant scent of that aftershave assaults you again as soon as your face bends to sample the arch. His skin is slightly rough, the facial hair he’d scraped away reclaiming its territory at this late hour. You lick from the base all the way up to his jaw, and the fingers on your waist tighten.

“You think maybe you’ve got one more batch you need to deliver, honey?” Your hand dives straight for the fly of his pants, pleased to feel he’s already becoming aroused.

A choked sound escapes the man’s lips. Maybe an attempt at a word that becomes garbled with incoherent pleasure. Your impatience is growing. Too many layers. Earthlings insisted on wearing so many. Your species didn’t care about that, in your natural habitat. You could shred them to pieces so easily with your claws, but that would mean revealing what you truly are, and you don’t want to do that just yet. The man is anxious enough as it is.

So you settle for using the human hands you’ve replicated to unfasten the belt and zipper and undo the button, reaching beneath the waistband of his underwear and dragging his cock free. Ample. Leaking. You stroke over it and he hisses, a feral sound not unlike one a male of your species might make. Your teeth nip his earlobe, tease his bottom lip before you finally sink your tongue inside his mouth. There’s the faint, lingering taste of alcohol, but you ignore that and instead concentrate on the feeling of that wet maw, stroking cheeks and tongue and teeth and palate, exploring thoroughly. You don’t even have to guide him to the straps of your dress, feeling them slid over your shoulders, then moving to the front of your dress to knead the further exposed globes of flesh there.

“That’s good, doll. That’s really, really good.” His fingers are beneath the fabric, pinching and rolling your nipples, making them erect. You like it, but it’s not where you need him most. There’s a wet heat between your legs that’s throbbing. A hollow space waiting to be filled, and the prick in your hands is perfect for the job.

You gently push on his forearm and he takes over from there, snaking beneath the slit of your dress, the seam ripping a bit as it’s still partially tucked beneath you. He pauses. “Shit, sorry…”

“I have plenty of other dresses. I don’t care. Touch me, Francis.” The lingerie you’re wearing is skimpy. Nearly indecent. Clinging, and he tears more fabric in his urgency to work beneath the pair of panties. His digits find moisture and you moan into his mouth. That was what you needed. The pads of his fingers rolling across your clit. Parting your lips. Digging into your entrance. He’s becoming bolder now. The desire coded into DNA so long ago to ensure the propagation of the species continues taking over.

Your head tips back as you gently ride a pair of his fingers. You’re still stroking him, keeping him slick and hard. Back at his mouth again. You like kissing him. A lot. It makes your insides flutter. You’re getting even wetter.

Eventually you move away. You have to, if you’re ever going to get what you need. You lift your dress and bend over the armrest of the couch, your panties dragged down just past the lace edge of your thigh high stockings. The milkman’s dick finds your opening and slides in smooth, straight to the hilt, stretching and filling you. Your nails dig into the fabric of the couch. You’re so tempted to let the natural claws peak out, to allow the gentle incisors lining the front of your mouth shift to the genuine, sharper cuspids. It takes tremendous effort to keep the monster within restrained. The bloodlust mingles with the other, surprising you with its intensity. You’d fed so well. You shouldn’t be this hungry again so soon.

The man’s hands grip your hips, aiding him as he thrusts in and out. He’s still holding back, still gentler than what you’d like. “Fuck me harder, Francis. I want that cock in as deep as it can go.”

He grunts, maybe a little surprised with how aggressive your words are. Nice young women didn’t talk like this. Then again, you’re not a nice young woman. Not really. You just look like one, bent over with your ass cheeks spread, letting a virtual stranger violate you. You fucking love it.

His hips slap against you a little faster now, a little rougher. You push back to meet him, matching his rhythm, driving him in even further. So good. He’s hitting a tender spot inside just right. You’re getting close to achieving orgasm.

Francis is, too. You feel it in the tremors that make his hands shake on your body, the breath that stutters in rasping pants.

“Fill me up, honey. I want every drop of that milk.”

Spurred on by this last request, he moans and you feel the wet heat of his release painting your insides. You tip over the edge at that exact moment, the walls of your canal contracting and squeezing his cock, making sure to extract every bit of his seed.

If the man had looked tired before, he looked absolutely exhausted now. Spent. Drained. He flops wearily onto the couch after pulling out. You drag your panties back into place and let your hem fall down, sliding the straps of your gown back over your shoulders as you join him. You’re a little tired yourself, after that brief, intense session.

“What time do you have to get up in the morning?”

“Four.”

You clench your tongue with your teeth, sucking in a sympathetic draft of air. “It’s midnight now.”

“Yeah.”

“You want to stay? I’ll make sure to wake you up on time. Set the alarm.”

“No. It’s too far from work. I still have to load up the truck in the morning. I’m better off going home.”

“Alright.” You’re not particularly upset at him declining your offer. You are curious about something else, though. “Are you coming back to the hotel on Friday? That will be my last performance of the week.”

He looks over at you. “Yes, I will.”

“Maybe you could stay over that night. You don’t work on the weekend, do you?”

“No. Someone else has that shift.” He reaches out tentatively to touch your cheek, his thumb stroking your bottom lip. “I’ll stay that night, if you want.”

“Yes. I want.” You lean over to kiss him, the gesture gentle this time. Soothing, like the song you’d hummed earlier. “Go get some sleep, doll. You’re going to need the energy for Friday night.” For just the briefest, fleeting moment, the glamour shielding your true eyes from view slips, and the milkman’s own flare in alarm. But then you’re disguised again, so swiftly you know he’s questioning if he’d really seen what he thought he’d seen, or if it’s just fatigue that’s making his eyes play tricks on him.

You couldn’t possibly be a doppelganger.

[nariism]

kiss me stupid!

pair. isagi yoichi x gn!reader

content: fluff, a little pda, mutual pining, college au

synopsis. poor isagi just wanted to study. unfortunately, you had other plans

wc. 0.9k

"can i ask you something?"

isagi gazes up tiredly from his book, silently gesturing for you to continue. the pen by your ear clicks again and again as you open and close it with your thumb. click. click. click.

you're not looking at him when you ask:

"have you ever wanted to kiss someone stupid?"

he sputters in response, because who wouldn't? and you're still not even looking at him. you seem more interested in your notes than the fact that you just misaligned the planets by about 40 degrees for him.

thick silence fills the air, save for the clicking of your pen. click. click. click. cl-

he's going to go insane. he's going to go crazy. his brain is melting. he needs a second — just one second to think about what the hell you just said.

isagi reaches forward across the table with a frown, grabbing at the pen in your fingers and snatching it away from you. "quit that," he scolds.

you finally glance up at him from your notebook when he steals it, eyeing him carefully. he feels his face heating up both in embarrassment and from being slightly flustered. your gaze is so scrutinizing right now. he's convinced you can hear the thousands of thoughts running through his mind.

"don't avoid my question."

isagi huffs. you're too good at reading him and it's not fair. not when you look so calm and indifferent to the way you're flipping his entire world upside down with some silly grade school question.

"i just—" he sighs, cheek falling into his palm as he rests his elbows on the table. so much for getting any productive studying done. "i don't get what you're trying to ask."

"like, kissing someone 'til your brain is all mush." your hands come up beside your head to emphasize, massaging your temples. "until you're both laughing and can't think straight. 'til you can't breathe."

you're being oddly descriptive and it's not helping his situation at all. heat rises to the tips of his ears and he's sure his flush is entirely visible now.

"have you?" he asks suspiciously, because it sounds like you've put some thought into it. you simply hum in response, reaching over to grab your pen back from him. the action causes your leg to bump against his under the table and he nearly screams.

“so what if i have?”

“stop trying to be mysterious and answer me!”

"i asked you first."

"no, i—" you look at him strange and he crumbles on the spot. the honest answer comes before he can stop it. "yeah, i have. happy?"

you smile at his red face and furrowed brows. "really? who?"

he wants to grab you by the shoulders and shake you aggressively and yell in your face: you, idiot! you! quit being a tease and kiss me already!

he just sulks in his seat instead, arms crossed and trying to hold onto his last bit of sanity. "like i would tell you, nosy."

you scoff in response, reaching back over the table and tapping his forehead lightly with the end of your pen. "promise i won't use it against you. please? pretty please?"

though you're still teasing him, there's genuine curiosity written all over your face. it's just mixed in there somewhere underneath that humour. and he knows you wouldn't tell anyone if he told you about having a silly crush. but the circumstances are... different right now.

he swats the pen away from his face. "no way."

you stand up, the chair you were sitting in scraping across the carpeted floor. your face leans in close to his. too close. he's going to have a heart attack. oh fucking christ.

you move in to examine him, eyes dragging all over his expression to read it. there's no way this behaviour is appropriate for a public library, but for some reason he doesn't shove your face away from his.

"i'm not dense, you know." your voice is quiet but it somehow feels like a million decibels ringing in his ear.

"i know that," he stammers out. he doesn't know how to handle himself when you're so close to him. he's never been good at steeling his nerves around you.

"then why are you acting like you don't want to kiss me stupid right now?"

"i- i don't- i—" he blinks at you incredulously.

"you don't what, yoichi? don't wanna kiss me stupid?"

"i didn't say that!"

"so you do wanna kiss me stupid?"

he leans in a little closer. "do you want me to kiss you stupid?!"

isagi notices too late that his voice is shaking, and that his involuntary increase in volume is earning him glares from other students.

whatever. he doesn't care any more. he can't focus on doing his project if you're distracting him like this.

for a split second you wonder why you're stumbling until the backs of your knees knock your chair. then you realize that his lips have crashed against yours rather clumsily.

it's only a few moments. for a beat you're convinced you're dreaming until his tongue lightly runs along your bottom lip and you get slapped in the face with reality.

you stare at him dumbly when he pulls back looking embarrassed to all hell.

what. just. happened.

he quickly sits back down again when he glances around and finds the other students staring and gawking at the both of you. he's completely red in the face, and he nervously buries his face back into his book. he can kiss you stupid later. right now, just this one should suffice.

"would you shut up and take your notes now?!"

4 my one and only 🤍

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[gen-is-gone]

having some Weird Thoughts currently about tumblr's place in the modern internet ecosystem, vis a vis twitter melting down, macebook/feta losing its shit, and a bunch of folks joining up here either for the first time in years or the first time at all.

namely, I really do believe that automattic/tumblr's current leadership is very very slowly and very very carefully implementing a bunch of changes in preparation to bring back adult content in its entirety, as part of a larger scheme to try to monetize without resorting to data scraping (which is basically impossible to do here the way it is on other sites anyway). it certainly seems like that's what they're doing, between post+, the tip jar, community labels, and the ability to make posts non-rebloggable. obviously these features have plenty of use outside of adult content (except maybe post+, which makes literally no sense outside of sex work), but what they seem to be doing is building up a logistical means by which to allow adult content, and allow it to be monetizable.

and like, no, I don't think tumblr the company is Our Best Friend; yes it is a company that needs to profit under capitalism to survive, but so is everything, and there is genuinely something funny and weird (in a very stupid, ironic way) about tumblr as a social media site operating in the 2020s. It just legitimately doesn't have the capacity to scrape data and sell targeted ads the way the giants of the modern internet do, both because it is a product of an earlier age when that wasn't yet a standard profit mechanism, and also just 'cause like. tumblr's fucking code is shit. I'm sure it's a lot better than it was circa 2012, but jokes about tumblr's legendary goof goof dildo spaghetti code used to be really common, and anyone who's been here longer than a couple months either remembers or at least has heard of just how weird and fucked up and bad the site's basic functionality used to be. Legitimately, the reason why tumblr feels so nice rn compared to the heyday is as much because it's just so genuinely more functional than it was ten years ago as it is because there's so comparatively few people.

but point being: if tumblr under yahoo had been handled with any semblance of basic competence, they might've seen which way the wind was blowing w/r/t targeted ads and data sales and we might have an entirely different, much worse hellsite than we actually have. or it probably would've died because yahoo would've actually fully ran it into the ground, more likely. but also it probably wouldn't have worked because the assumption of anonymity is so much more baked into the incredibly weird, broken, decade and half's worth of layered bullshit code that even if anyone previously could've realized that the smartest way to make money would be to scrape and sell data, they'd never have been able to implement it.

and so we have the tumblr of today: weird, unmarketable, ungovernable, proudly cringe, and deeply resistant to the mainstream. so not actually that much different to tumblr circa 2012, if a lot smaller and more battle-hardened.

but like. by the standards of what's available on the modern internet, tumblr is honestly one of the best, most versatile spaces still standing with any amount of a userbase? straight up, the dominance of twitter and instagram has made a lot of people really oddly perplexed by the concept of being able to write detailed essays in the body of a post, let alone the idea of dozens of images per post, or audio like, at all. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things about tumblr that I wish were different or better that just aren't compatible with how tumblr is set up at a base level as an LJ user every day I miss threaded comments and LJ-style cuts I LAMENT them I tell you, but of the options out there, tumblr is fucking wild in what it can offer. but I don't just mean for artists and fandom and weird little gremlins like those of us who've been here this whole time, I mean like. fuck. like.

watching the White House's twitter account try to lay out complex policy initiatives in 280-characters is fucking painful sometimes, and yet we've all gotten used to it in the past decade plus. leaving aside the fact that it's bonkers and deeply unsettling and generally bad that world leaders are beholden to usamerican for-profit corporations to communicate in general, of all of the socmed sites out there, it's kind of insane that twitter is the one that got big in the official political scene. (don't get me wrong: twitter is genuinely quite useful for disseminating quick bursts of information in crisis, and it's been fucking brilliant for coordinating in both natural disasters and evolving political/social disruption. but it's terrible at detailed, nuanced information sharing)

I don't know where I'm going with all of this necessarily, and I think twitter eating shit and going down in flames is pretty terrible for global democracy even as it is also on a surface level funny as shit. I don't want tumblr to replace twitter, or facebook, or insta, or tiktok, in being the place where everyone lives online. I want tumblr to stay as the little gremlin art ho fandom clown car, and lbr, it probably will. It'll probably never be what twitter is, for better or for worse. who knows if it'll ever be what it was in 2012 again. I like the ecosystem the way it is these days, with way fewer users, most of whom have been around the block more times than we can count, and are too jaded to start shit anymore. but tumblr needs money to survive, and as much as we're all enjoying posting cringe, tumblr's twitter is pulling off a masterwork balancing act luring twitter users over here, and it's working.

tumblr needs to do what it can to survive. we still don't know if all of this effort staff has been putting in these past ~10 months or so will be enough; the writing has been on the wall for years now that if tumblr doesn't find a way to financially justify itself, it won't survive another sale. automattic took a maybe unprecedented (and extremely positive, imo) risk this past year, and has been trusting current staff to listen to user input and implement positive changes, including finding ways to monetize without invading users' privacy, which who knows if the site even has the capability of doing anyway, even now. if we are all very lucky, and are willing to pitch in and treat this place like our community, we might even collectively succeed, and prove to the wider internet that it is possible to run a popular, high-traffic website without compromising user security. if tumblr is doing what I think they're doing, and very carefully building up a secure, socially, financially, and legally defensible way to support adult content on a site with american servers and a place on the app store in the 2020s, then we're off to the races and who knows where we'll go. if twitter does actually implode beyond salvaging, a huge chunk of the world will feel its loss, and many people, including all the normies and politicians and your mom, could very well cast their gaze to the website people wrote off as in its death throes four years ago. they probably won't, but as I was just vividly reminded earlier today, the White House did, in fact, have a tumblr once upon a time. who knows what the future holds.

but John Green deserves an apology, you weeaboo shits.

[lilith-little-world]

Sneak Peek of Chapter 3|| The Isekai’d Oracle

Sorry for being away, some shit happened and I’m finally well enough to write again, until I go and get my tonsils remove. Was a crazy few months from being sick, getting sick again, and enrolling to college. So yeah, been busy and just recently things calmed down and I finally sat down and write. Enjoy.

Also this is a rough draft and there may be some small changes to it when finished.

Your body felt numb, as the freezing cold winds surround you. The ground dark and dead. Trees twisted from the cold harsh temperatures. It felt like the freezing cold was consuming you.

You continue to travel up the frozen path. Stumbling on a sharp pillar of ice. This was oddly familiar to you as dread filled your being on what was to come next.

Where the hell are you at now?

You were in the motel room, going to bed. So how did you end up here?

The pillar of ice was thick and tall, your cloudy reflection stare back at you. The details smudge made it hard to see yourself. Though, it didn’t felt like you were. No, the colors of your clothes were different. You reach your hand to touch the ice. The closer it got, the more the reflection changed and shift. Your hand turning blue, either from hypothermia or something else completely.

Low whispers filled the air.

Muttering.

“Are you really going to let it play out like this?”

The shock of the bitter coldness burns your hand, the moment you touch the ice. You yell and pull away, looking around to see who is with you. Clutching your injured and shaking hand, trying to calm your quick breaths. The pain getting worse, as it slowly spread down your arm.

No one.

You were alone.

However, the whispering didn’t stop. It kept getting louder and louder. Trying to wrap your mind around that voice, it was yours, yet it wasn't. You tried to think more but the intangible whispers made it hard. Your eyes shoot around hoping to find the source of the whispers and voice. 

Then it clicked.

You have seen this place before.

A groan escaped from you when you felt Almond lick your cheek. She was laying on top of you. The room felt oddly cold as you slid the small dog off of you.

You sat up from the bed and yawn. Brows furrowed, rubbing your hand. The same hand, that touched the frost on the window and that ice pillar in your dreams. It didn’t hurt now, but you still felt a phantom pain to it.

That’s right, your dream…

You say they're silently, thinking. Maybe all the stress and worries on not knowing what to do when season three hits, are chewing you up more than expected. It’s not unreasonable to believe that dream means nothing and is just a projection of your fears. However, you’re literally in the show you've been obsessed over and anything is fair game now. 

Yet which was more reasonable, that being a simple nightmare or there’s a warning to it?

…

Almond lays next to you and waits patiently.

“We are going to a different motel. I am not dealing with this or the Lady Bone Demon. Fuck this shit.” 

You got up from the bed and packed the little items you have in your backpack. As much as you love the show and the characters, which you would love to meet someday. Just not the Lady Bone Demon, and you can be naïve most of the time, at least you have some common sense and take that nightmare as a sign to go hide for a while. Just until things calmed down and try to come up with a plan to do next. You had spent long enough adjusting to this new world, it’s time to go out and well— do something.

You’re not risking anything when it comes to her. Maybe that nightmare was just simply a nightmare and just a by-product of your fears. A reasonable explanation for a world, where there are no such things as magic and demons.

Sadly, you’re currently in a world where such things exist.

You pause and place the bag on your bed.

“Where can I even go?” 

Almond whines, as you mutter. You’re completely on your own, with no one to help. You have no powers and are homeless. If that dream was a sign, then for what? What can it be telling you?

And why you?

It’s not like you wished for this to happen. 

Well, not exactly…

You groan before putting on your backpack. Guess your only option currently is to go to a different motel and hope nothing dangerous happens.

“Come on, Almond we have a stressful day ahead of us.” 

You left in a hurry and Almond followed close behind. This isn’t how you wanted to start off your second chance in life. 

Your steps were loud, stomping down the stairs. Thinking about what to do. It’s not safe to stay out on the streets. Then you had to “work” for Jin and Yin. Though, you can always just not go. 

Almond barks and circles around you while walking. Letting out a sigh and picking her up. 

“I can’t be always carrying you.” Almond just snuggles closer, resting her small head on your shoulder. You felt her body relax and almost melt in your hold.

“Only for a while, I can’t carry you the whole time.”

You walk around the city, going to different parts and just trying to memorize the area. Everything was busy, cars going by, people walking into shops or restaurants, and tourists buying street food or souvenirs. 

“Maybe I should…” You let your mind wander, only for a bit. Yet it wouldn’t hurt, would it? Is it really the best choice-

You take in your surroundings and really focus. Going down streets that looked familiar.

It wouldn’t hurt to see it, right? You can be a customer. Wait do you even have enough money? No, you can deal with that later.

You continue to look around and take turns but nothing was standing out. Almond whines, and stirs a bit, confused by your sudden boost of energy.

“I just need to check something out. It’ll be quick, I promise.” 

Almond huffs and starts softly but firmly scratches your shirt.

“We are heading to a place, for a nice breakfast for once. Doesn’t that sound great? A warm, home-cooked style breakfast… can dogs even eat noodles?” You pause for a second, before continuing forward. “I’ll just buy something with meat and just give it to you.” 

Almonds squirm in your hold as you eagerly walk. You slowly realize that it's a lot harder to locate since everything is not a 2D cartoon drawing. Yet by some miracle, you see that familiar sign. You held your breath and stood there for a second. 

Are you really going to do this? I mean, isn’t this what you have been fantasizing about in your previous life? Even though it was a simple fantasy and never expected it to happen. Yesterday stressed you out, meeting the “villains” of the show was draining. 

You walk up to the small restraint. Hopefully, you’ll have enough money to pay.

Almond barks in your ear.

“Hey- calm down, you’re still in trouble. I’m not letting you go this time so you can run off.”

To your dismay, you couldn’t keep hold of the squirming dog. You had to put her down. Almond immediately turns to face you, her body outstretched. Her upper half is down on the ground, in a dog’s playing pose. She let out a loud bark and you stared down at her unimpressed.

“I’m hungry, let’s go in.”

She let out another bark.

“And we need to eat.”

She barked again but was mixed with a growl.

“Okay, you do know I can't understand you, right?”

Almond huffs.

“Come on, I know you’re hungry, cause I am. This will be fun, a nice meal.”

You stare down at the dog, who keeps her stance ready. However, her small stature made it easy to walk by the small dog. Almond keeps barking, obvious warnings.

“I’m gonna keep going and have a nice breakfast, with or without you.” You continue to walk to the small restaurant, the familiar neon sign outside, keeps pushing you forward. 

This was it, no one is going to stop you. You’re going to meet main characters of this show. 

That’s right, this is your second chance in life. Why waste it on working every second? You deserve to treat yourself and have no one to tell you “no” or that you don’t have enough time for. 

You reach the entrance, ready to enter and completely ignoring Almond’s barking. Inches away until you were swept up from your feet. Somebody throwing you over their shoulder as they ran. On instinct you let out a loud scream as the two trickster demon carry you off.

“What the- put me down!” 

“Didn’t we told you we would find you if you didn’t showed up for today’s work?” Yin said.

“And here we find you going off eating at the place our sworn enemy works at!” Jin yells a bit frustrated.

“I just wanted to eat! And- PUT ME DOWN!” You shouted back at them. Almonds barks and chase after you three down the street. As the two demons push the pedestrians aside. While you continue to scream.

“Maybe… another day… I just wanted to eat at Pigsy’s Noodles…” You whine out sadly as Yin puts you down. 

“You are not allowed to mingle with the enemy, no matter how good their food is!” Jin starts lecturing you.

“Right, enemy, which is yours and not mine! I have no problem with them.” 

“Well, you work for us now so are enemies are yours! It’s just standard business etiquette.” Yin adds.

You roll your eyes and carry Almond who was on edge by the sudden kidnapping. Her small eyes glared at the two.

“Also, please don’t ever grab me like that ever again.” You firmly said, trying to be stern with the two demons.

“Then don’t run off and mingle with the enemy! You work for us now.”

“Against my will, which I might add. Also, you didn't even haven't told me what I'll be doing and if I'm getting paid or- at least have some food for some payment. New flash, I am currently homeless.” You gesture to your bag filled with your things.

“It isn’t aren’t fault you can’t don’t have a house!” Jin goes into the abandoned building. Yin waits behind you, making sure you enter the building and not run off. You and Almond give him a hard and cold glare while entering.

“No, but if I’m going to ‘working’ for you two then I would like some sort of payment.”

You walk around trying not to step on some loose sheets of paper and destroyed photos.

“This place is a mess…” 

“And this mess is our headquarters, where we come up with our evil schemes. So show some respect.” Yin was close behind you but gave you some space. “This is the place you’re going to working in.”

“Oh how nice…” You sat at the couch. “Well… I’m hungry and it would be nice if you get me something to eat.” 

“Nope, it’s time to work and you came in late.”

“Did not and no food means no work.”

Jin and Yin whisper to one another.

“What do you want to eat?” 

You think for a moment.

“Something warm, I been feeling cold all morning.”

“Well then, your first task is to clean this whole place up while we get something to eat.” 

You didn’t get a word in as they left.

“I guess, they didn’t like my comment.” 

Almonds huff and lays down on the couch. 

“I’m not liking your attitude.” You mutter softly and begin to clean.

“What was all that yelling earlier?” Pigsy comes out of the kitchen and placing a bag on the counter. Ready to be delivered. Tang shrugs, eating. MK puts the broom away and grabs the bag.

“It’s probably nothing, you know a lot of people are yelling and screaming about something.” MK stretches a bit.

“Kid, you okay? Never seen you this quiet. Usually, you're yapping about Monkey King or yesterday's training or something.” Pigsy leans onto the counter. Resting and trying to close the distance between him and MK. While Tang listens in.

“Oh, I guess I was really focusing on work today. Ever since the training with Monkey King it feels like I’m growing a lot.”

MK says jokingly. Pigsy rolls his eyes and chuckles.

“Well, fine, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Go back to work and deliver those noodles.” He shrugs it off and head back to the kitchen. Tang loudly slurps his noodles.

“You should relax more MK-“ 

“Like you?” 

Tang stares at MK, unamused.

“You make it sound like a bad thing. Imagine, sitting down with a bowl of delicious noodles and just relax.” 

“Cause you don’t have a job.” 

“Excuse you, I so do have a job!”

“Can’t hear you, I’m going to deliver noodles~” MK exits the small restaurant. His happy and carefree attitude immediately disappeared. As he stares down the street. It was faint but he could still feel that faint energy pulling him.

“Remember what he said MK, just stay out of her way. This has nothing to do with you.” He said to himself and went to the tuk-tuk.

You fall onto the couch exhausted.

“Almond, is this my life now? Am I really gonna work and clean for other people all my life now? Who knows what those two want me to do to pay their little fee, which I don’t even know how much… oh am I being played here?!” 

You shoot up and stare at the tiny dog. Almond ignored you and kept lying down.

“No Almond this is serious, how am I going to get out of this? Being nice will not cut it. I really don’t know what to do, what can I do?”

Almond continues to lie, already tired from your long rant when you were cleaning the entire place.

“Maybe I can get someone to scare them off…”

There was a long since when you trailed off. 

You realize you’re doing that a lot recently. Getting lost in thought. It was a nice change than have your head empty so you didn’t need to think about how trapped you felt in your previous life. However, it’s getting annoying on how quickly your head is being filled with questions and stress.

You lay back down on the couch and sigh.

“Or I can lay around here and boss those two around.” 

You smile and let yourself relax.

“You know what, let see what comes up first. Cause right now, I’m going to stop worrying about this, enjoy my time here and go as far away from me when she shows up.”

That’s right, why need to stress about something that isn’t going to be happening for a long while?

The front door slams opens. You jolt up and stare at the two demons entering. They inspect the room while holding a plastic bag. 

“Not bad but-“ Jin starts off while looking around. “Why did you just pile our stuff into one huge pile?!” He yells at you, annoyed and angry.

“Look I tried organizing what was… going all in those piles. It’s just you two have so much junk here, there’s absolutely no place for it! Don’t go getting mad at me here! I did my job!” You raise your voice, face scrunch up in annoyance. 

“You don’t raise your voice at us, we are your bosses!” Yin quickly adds.

“Against my will! If I had the choice I would never ever want you two as my bosses!” 

They loudly gasp, as Yin tries to stammer out a response.

“And after we got you breakfast!” Jin holds up the plastic bag to you. 

Okay, maybe they weren't too bad. You never had a boss buy you breakfast before.

“Why is it half empty?!” You shout at them.

“Look we may have gone a little hungry on our way back here.” Yin shrugs, not being too bothered by it.

“Anyway, aren't you humans supposed to see it half full?” Jin stares down at you.

“Unbelievable…” You mutter to yourself, inspecting the meal. It didn’t looked like they just grabbed some frozen dish meal and warmed it up. The small meal was freshly made. Even though you were extremely hungry, it didn’t mean you would trust whatever these two bring for you to eat. 

You gather a bit of courage and took a bite. 

“So you two bought this, right?” You asked and relieve that the food was made by someone who knows how to cook. The taste of the pork chop was went surprisingly well with the rice cake.

“Of course we did! We have some standards when it comes to stealing.” Yin crossed his arms, being slightly offended by your words.

You raise a brow at him, not one bit believing them. 

“At least you got me something to eat.” It was small, but at least you got something to eat. 

‘Focus on the positives, at least there’s been more positives than your old life.’

“So what exactly am I doing? Cause I’m not going to be doing something illegal.” You state, trying to stand your ground. Jin and Yin stares at you for a moment before leading you to the door.

“How do you feel about going on a trip with us?”

[titan-god-helios]

pt1 of oddly specific things that give me gender affirmation/euphoria (that may not be that odd but i didn’t expect them so shut up <3 /lh):

wallets !!!! a good stereotypically masculine wallet that’s small and leather and still has lots and lots of usability and looks like something a dad would use makes me feel so masculine !! love it

any type of trouser or bottoms with more than two pockets

windbreaker jackets - they make me go “FUCK YEEAAHH im such a boy a man a male tm yessir” and idk why they just do tho, even the fem ones to an extent

plantssss i love plants and they make me feel like a little gardner boy just yessss

energy drinks for some reason ???? they make the internal man dialogue of “IM A MANNN” go haywire so much

hairbands on my wrist and an excess of those wooden beaded bracelets or even stone beaded jewellery

cross earrings but just bc they look cool (i’m an atheist so yuh, i still love people who have religion too, y’all are awesome <3)

doing the thing with your hair where you take hair from one side and flip it on the other with one hand and its kind of like running your hand through your hair but with long hair…. esp of my other hand is on my hip and i scrunch my face ?!?!?!??!? so boyish i feel so good

dancing like an absolute idiot. i dont know why but every time i just do a little jig for myself by myself my gender is just like “yessssss you’re a boy frfr slay king”

watches !! big chunky analogue watches

following on from the last point, clocks too

mushroomsssss they make the more nonbinary side of me jump for joy cause like “yes ofc im a fucking forest goblin dude i love mushrooms im just a goblin guy leave me alone and let me love the shrooms”

sketching in public. it just doessss

camoflague clothing !! i mean this was probably obvious but when i came out to myself and i wore camo cargo pants (with loads of pockets mind you) i just freaked out in joy i felt so manly that day it was glorious

singing !! singing my favourite songs as low as i can go with it still sounding good

just being as stubborn as possible but in a non problematic (for the most part) way. like if you give me the option to make things easier and more convenient or not i’ll choose the harder option. idk it just makes me feel manly (is this toxic masculinity ?? i dont know but i try to remind myself that this only applies to non mental stuff so i don’t end up self-harming againnnn)

being unnecessarily overdressed

not brushing my hair till its perfectly untangled and just letting it be a bit wild - this came with me figuring out that my hair type is waywayway wavier/curlier than i thought my whole life and learning to take care of it the best i can whilst i have like zero products for waves/curls on hand and as a bonus i felt more masc !!

looking at the stretch marks underneath my boobs in the mirror. i have a large-ish chest i think (DD cup), plus i’m a lil chubby, so i have loads of stretch marks around my chest, and the ones underneath look like top surgery scars, so if i’m having a particularly rough day with my chest dysphoria i’ll look at em and feel a bit better

using my stim toys and accommodations with friends and by myself for my autism and adhd - being capable of taking care of myself finally makes me feel really confident and as a result quite masc as well

stimming by flipping my beaded bracelets between my fingers - this is specific to greek and possibly other cultures similar to greece but it’s typical for a lot of greek men to flip long-ish beaded loops (?? they’re not jewellery and specifically made for this but idk what they’re called so) between their fingers in a similar fashion, and it’s a thing that my dad does a lot when bored. whether neurodivergent or neurotypical it’s a very common thing for men and so doing it makes me not only feel good stimming but also feel manly as fuck ! it feels even better now that my mum saw me doing it once and said “what are you a man ??” and being closeted i had to say “idc im just flipping a bracelet why does it have to be gendered” BUT INSIDE I WAS SO HAPPY

playing card games - when i was younger and even now my dad and grandpa would let me sit in on their card games late at night when we visited them in greece and now when i play card games i always feel so calm and comforted and quietly masculine

drinkingggg now hear me out yes im a minor but i’m also half greek so as a result whenever my parents drink im allowed a bit too (under supervision ofc). anyway that out the way, i have a pretty fucking high alcohol tolerance and considering the fact that it comes from my dad (being asian, my mum’s tolerance is dogshit) plus the stereotypical “men can drink more” stuff i feel SO MANLYYYY when i can quite literally drink more than my dad and feel okay whilst he’s starting to be tipsy (just to clarify though, the stereotype is bullshit and should NOT be perpetuated as much as it is, at least with intent. you guys with low alcohol tolerances are just as manly !! maybe you’re even more manly than those with high tolerance !! and women with high tolerances, you’re still very fem and very cool and valid as a woman and those who aren’t binary or aligning you are valid as your gender or as no gender no matter what tolerance you have <33)

caring about myself more. and i don’t mean in a “i’m gonna have a nice fucking bath and be happy about it” way i mean in a “i’m going to feed myself well, drink lots of water, get good exercise and be respectful to myself at the very least” way. and also in the bath way. baths are nice

collecting shit !! idk dude but having a collection of dumb shit just makes me feel so masc and good cause i swear to the stars nearly every dude i’ve met and stepped into the house of has a collection of SOMETHING whether it’s games, books, rocks, crystals, cookbooks and recipies or art supplies or whatever makes them happy. like legit fucking anything and i like collecting stuff too so its a bonus !!

just being nice. just being a nice dude makes me feel so manly

being silly and myself and doing dumb shit and being unapologetic about it (im still working on being able to do this since i struggle a lot but when i can it feels so good !!)

being stupidly loyal to something equally stupid /pos. like yes i have had this stuffed animal since the dawn of time no i will never get rid of her. she’s a genderfuck lesbian rainbow tiger from buildabear workshop who goes by the name of Roxy i will never get rid of her >:(. and so what my ring is so rusty it makes my skin green every three days ?? i clean it and take it off when it gets out of control back off bitch its mine. why are you so concerned about my shoes ????? fuck you i like them how they are (falling apart and dishevelled, the sole is halfway off already and it hasn’t been even remotely okay since three years ago) and they still fit and work so i’ll wear them until i literally cannot anymore. its so fun and it’s such a “just some guy” activity AND it makes my autism goblin feel safe and good too so its great would reccommend

just talking about stuff i like and that makes me feel good but not to anybody in particular. maybe in my notes, maybe on tumblr (like right now !! i’m doing this one right now !!) maybe on my personal dm to myself. it just makes me feel like a boy i love it PLUS i dont actually have to stress about humans on the other end of it so i feel way more confident and comfortable and as a result even MORE manly !!

ice cream on cones. i will not elaborate

travelling and exploring !! like legit anywhere. as long as i’m moving from one place to another and exploring the world i feel so happy and right and also masculine it’s great i love travelling so much. on holidays i enjoy the act of travelling even more than the holiday itself tbh

(to clarify i identify as male but a bit fucked in the gender - if you want a label i still identify as nonbinary but male aligningg <3)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

do you have one of those childrens tv shows that you used to love when you were a kid, but that you now realise is actually kinda fucked up? can you explain what you think is creepy/weird about it?

Good question!

Okay, so I'm going to make this reply very very long so I can indulge my love of dispensing long rants about this subject.

First of all, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "creepy" or "weird." If you mean that they just seem kind of "off" to you now, like they aren't made for the intended audience, then you should definitely check out MST3K, which is a parody show on a station called the Comedy Central that makes fun of old B movies.

That aside, my "creepy TV show" is probably When Worlds Collide, a show from the 50's. It's about aliens invading the Earth, and it follows a family on a spaceship that is the only surviving vehicle from the Earth. (For some reason, they had to flee, and they do not seem to be allowed to go back.)

In the context of the time, this show was probably revolutionary. It was one of the very first science fiction shows, and it introduced lots of concepts that came to be characteristic of the genre. (In fact, I'm not sure there was a "science fiction" genre until science fiction showed up on TV and in movies.) This show is notable as an early exploration of the time travel concept. It's also one of the first time fictional characters in American TV dealt with the idea that there is intelligent life outside of Earth.

The problem is that, in the present day, much of this stuff is kind of hard to parse. You kind of wonder what's going on when, for example, a character on the ship is like "oh no, our spaceship is running out of oxygen!" He starts babbling about some sort of family emergency (the ship's oxygen is a "family inheritance," apparently). His brother is like "don't worry, here's a portable oxygen tank." And it's all just weird.

And the special effects are amazingly bad. In general the show is kind of "cringeworthy," because it seems like they made all the budgetary choices that would lead to a low-rent campy production. This is sort of hilarious if you watch it with the benefit of hindsight, but back when I watched it as a kid I just wondered why it was so "bad," in my best approximation of adult aesthetic taste.

One thing I remember from this show is that the aliens talk very oddly. They're always using this one weird word, and it's annoying when they say it a lot. For some reason, when I rewatched the show as an adult, I kept hearing "fuck" in that odd voice.

I think this goes to show that this show does not really have any charm -- it's what you'd get if you started making a new show with the worst possible budget, crew, and effects, and expected it to have a long run, and maybe eventually they'd do all the things that "good" sci fi shows do.

Also, I should mention, the show seems to support the nuclear family as an ideal, and at one point I remember a lot of kids like me being very disappointed by this, because we didn't have a nuclear family at home.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

So because of my hentel mealth i havent really been able to read or do creative stuff so Ive just been spending most of my time properly synching up the subtitles i have for various takarazuka Elisabeth productions and idk how coherent this is gonna be bc I dont know how much of an overlap there is between people who like to complain about sjm books and euromusical fans, but I cant stop comparing Death and Rhysand and getting even more pissed off about Rhysand

like, listen, both of these guys are weirdo freaks who feel entitled to and are oddly possessive of a young vulnerable woman but the thing about Death is that hes like that because hes meant to be like, a metaphor for what its like to have suicidal thoughts and for what its like to live in ~turbulant times~ so hes kinda alluring but also very scary and in the original austrian production hes just fuckinh flingin people around, but Rhys is not a metaphor or a personification of a concept, hes just a guy. Not just that but hes meant to be like, the better guy. thats wild right. Rhysand, the guy who endangered Feyre for no fucking reason with the weaver stunt he pulled and whos forced her to lie to and steal from a potential political ally whos been nothing but kind to both of them, is the better one. and im making a point here to only mention the acomaf crimes Ive witnessed so far, obviously hes done and will do a lot worse

And you wanna know what the worst part is? Its what it always comes down to and its what I always complain about, he doesnt even serve cunt. And that truly is the worst thing about Rhysand for me because I am a very shallow person, if he wore black lipstick, if he wore clothes that glitter, if he dressed like some kinda dracula instead of just wearing plain black leather most of the time, not only would I not care about the actually shitty things he did, I would not care about him being pathetic and annoying, which, him being annoying is worse to me than any of the shitty things he did btw because hes not even interesting or endearing while hes doing those things yknow what I mean

like idk, im working on the 1996 star troupe production where Deathbis played by Asaji Saki and she does a really good job playing this inhuman weirdo experiencing regular sincere human emotions for the first and being made vulnerable by that experience, its genuinely pretty cute. theres this scene where he briefly interacts with rudolf, elisabeths child son, and then it transitions into a different scene and a bunch of recurring adult characters run onstage and Death trips one of them up to make rudolf laugh and its just cute and genuine yknoe. Whenever Rhys has a quote unquote vulnerable moment thats supposed to humanize him (that isnt just him being a horndog) it just feels so fake me, like when he talked to Feyre about Tarquin being easy to love and being noble because he had it easy while Rhysands been suffering or whatever i was just like, buddy youre doing that to yourself, if you wanted equality for the lower fae in the night court you couldve already done that in the 500 years youve been on the throne literally no one is stopping you

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[Begin audio transcript.]

[Footsteps echo from below. They come to a standstill after a moment or so.]

?: Fancy seeing you here, Edgar.

[Voice unrecognizable. Please try again.]

?: I was just getting ready to come and see you at your little wagon-house. But I suppose you beat me to the punch. How did you know where to find me anyhow? I never told you where I slept. Perhaps you have gained a knack for stalking yourself, hm?

?: I’ve been walking around for an hour checking every store for your sorry ass. So no, I haven’t. I’m still shit at it. 

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

?: Seems to me that you are eager to talk, regardless. What has been on your mind? Besides the usual, of course.

E: Mostly what you said yesterday. You really know how to leave someone thinking about something for a while, huh?

?: I consider it a specialty of mine. Being a good writer is a skill you learn on the job while Watching. Though I admit, I have not been keeping up with the practice recently. For obvious reasons. Though the Tumblr blog has actually proven to be oddly effective at keeping my mind sharp. 

E: You have a fuckin’– ugh, never mind. Answer my questions before I knock your lights out, dude. I’m not feeling as friendly as yesterday. 

?: That was your friendly side? I’m kidding, I know you don’t have a friendly side. Remind me of what you wanted to ask? And do know that I am still morally bound to keep most secrets of the Watcher organization hidden.

E: I do have a friendly side, I just don’t fucking like you. Anyway, I wanted to first know what the rumors were that brought you here, I have a guess, but I want to know from you.

?: Could’ve had me fooled. But regardless, the rumors had been floating around Tumblr for a while, but it was when Archivist said something that piqued my interest. I was already aware that Showfall had the technology to revive people from the dead, though I had no clue what they would want from you, no offense. 

E: Before you or I say anything else. His name is William. Don’t let me catch you calling them that again, got it?

?: I will bring the matter to its attention. it is perfectly capable of speaking for itself, you know.

?: Anyway, I decided that night that I wanted to see for myself. Since you were no longer technically my client, however, I had to take measures into my own hands. It was against protocol, but I was never concerned with little details like that anyways. I broke protocol a long time ago when I first reached out. The bigger threat was clearly Showfall, and I was willing to break a few rules to catch the bigger fish. I knew you were my ticket in.

[Edgar laughs, for maybe a tiny bit too long, before he takes a breath in, and speaks with a slightly amused tone.]

E: So, what you’re saying is… you broke company protocol, got fired, and got trapped in the Showfall facility over a rumor that I was alive? And you don’t see how this could be anything else but work related?

?: First of all, I do not like what you’re implying. But beyond that, of course there was a bit more to it. And anyways, I had no way of knowing that Showfall would be creating demons in their basement. 

E: Not demons, security. There’s a difference. I don’t think even Hell could make one of those.

?: You say that as if you have seen demons before, but sure, “security,” is one word to describe that mutated pile of human meat and television screens. 

E: Eh, yeah. Never seen a demon, I don’t think I ever will. 

?: Seems to me like you already have. I brought equipment, expecting to find humans, but I suppose a taser was never going to work against such a beast. I even lost my personal camera down in those tunnels after I used it as a distraction.

E: Technically, you did find humans. 

?: Not quite human anymore. But let us resume our conversation. Edgar, how long has Showfall been in production?

E: [Whispered.] I guess you wouldn’t have seen those things hesitate, then. [Regular volume.] Hard to say, Cassius is apparently 330 years old, and Showfall was likely around earlier. 

?: Then you can imagine how Showfall can haunt someone for many years. Or even generations. 

E: Where are you going with this, exactly? I thought I was the one asking questions.

?: You snooze, you lose. But the point is, I have my own vendetta against this corporation. Something I am sure you can understand, but nothing so important that I feel the need to waste the time and breath with my entire backstory.

E: Yeah, you’d fuckin’ know. Loser. A few more questions are still up here, so if you want me to leave, let me ask them.

?: No, go ahead. Stay a while, this has been the most productive we have talked in months.

E: Don’t get used to it. I’m only being like this so I can ask these questions. 

?: I wouldn’t dare to. Though it appears you will be seeing much more of me, since everyone is planning on escaping at the same time. It would be a bit rude not to invite me, right Edgar?

E: God, fuck you, man. 

?: Next question, please. Exchanging information is what I am paid for. Or I suppose, was.

E: Alright, second question. How the hell did you even become one of those fuckers, anyway?

?: Well, how did you get mixed up with Showfall?

E: I got mixed up with Showfall because they decided that I was apparently good enough to be a mechanic, so he took me from my shared apartment with my ex-fiancée. If you’re implying we were taken in the same way, I highly doubt it, because you don’t act like the type of person who’s ever made contact with a woman.

?: Oh, you’d be surprised. But no, really, it is quite a similar story. People in power can make you do horrible things for money. When you are young and desperate, it is easy to be taken advantage of. Molded into something else. Made into someone you are not. Believe it or not, I had a life once. And you did too. And you know who is in the center of it all?

E: We are not the same, W. 

?: I do not mean to imply that we exactly are, but there are similarities, no? You cannot deny that we share a common enemy.

E: I… you’re the worst. Fuck you. 

?: I know how much you hate thinking about it, but I have one anecdote for you: have you ever read “The Art of War,”? I am sure you are well aware of the line, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” but here is another quote to ponder over: ““If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” That is what our foundation is made for. That is why I am here.

E: … [Slightly skeptically.] Right. 

?: If enough is understood about Showfall, their destruction would be easy. But the issue stems from their control of the media. So much personal information is put out on social networks every day, and Showfall is the first company to have completely monopolized personal data. The Watcher program is the only other entity that can come close to the amount of personal data that they collect in a single day, and even then, it will probably never be enough. If my theories are correct, Showfall will likely buy out the Watcher Program soon anyways, and after that, I fail to see hope for the future of this… everything. 

E: You’re a fool. That’s all I have to say. One more question. 

?: If being a fool means having hope for the future, then I would rather die a fool. But go on. This is a discussion for another day, I do not wish to argue semantics when our goals are so closely aligned.

E: Are you able to take this off? Like, ever?

[Fabric movement, and a tapping noise.]

[A loud collapsing noise sounds out as something heavy hits the ground. Heavy breathing follows.]

?: DO NOT TOUCH ME! 

E: Woah! Jesus! 

?: [Between heavy breaths.] You… You, uh… It is ok. You would not know. You could not know. This mask is, it is my choice as much as it is. A necessity. Nobody can know a Watcher’s face. Nobody. Nobody. 

E: Hm. 

?: We all have secrets. I ask that you respect mine. I understand that request is rich coming from me, but I just. It is information that has no use to you. I promise. I no longer wish to withhold potent information from you. 

E: Alright, I won’t fuckin’ do that again. 

?: Thank you.

[A pause.]

?: But also. 

[Another brief pause.]

?: Since you are here. There is one thing. I would like to say. Before you go back to your camp.

E: … yeah?

?: I would like to. Apologize. And I expect no forgiveness on your part. But it needs to be said. I have not made your life easy, and though some of that was beyond my control as a Watcher, as a person, I have not done my due diligence. That is all.

[Edgar pauses for a fairly long amount of time, clearly thinking it over.]

[Footsteps are heard walking away from the recording device, echoing softly into unknown territory.]

E: [Muttered.] Thanks. I guess.

[Transcript end.]

[alolanroy]

2023 media thread

Blood(originally from twitter)

2023 media thread! Copied over from twitter since it’s getting worse by the day. Scores 0-10 aren’t on the American grading curve, but more like ‘irredeemable bad’ to ‘changed my life’. Most things will be a 6-7 if I liked it. Negative = ironic.

Knives out (6/10) and Glass Onion (8.5/10). I prefer glass onion not only because it was a nice tight watch but also how oddly topical it was. Tate was arrested the day I watched this and Musk is on fire. Hopefully a prelude to more real mystery movies.

Wakfu: I’m grasping at straws for nice things to say. Not really pleasing to watch in French and some of the worst dubbing since gundam Age in the first seasons. The story feels like a pantomime and I question the standards of who recommended it. 1/10

The Rapsittie Street Kids Believe in Santa: this shirt is a cognitohazard to anyone who has used any kind of software. Each frame has so much wrong with it the human mind buckles into maniacal laughter. The grandma is the same VA as savathun. -9/10

Elf bowling: honestly kinda disappointing. Might be funny with some good company. I feel like the character Tom Kenny voices says something offensive but my memory just dumped everything about it. -2/10

Sound and Fury (2019): One of the greatest audio-visual experiences I’ve seen in a while. Not all sections were created equal though. Fucking watch it. I will say no more. 9/10

Lego Star Wars holiday special/summer vacation: Not good in the traditional sense but interesting because they give some of the characterization missing from the sequel trilogy with a dose of kid friendly robot chicken energy. Interesting to me at least. 6/10

Bleach Arancar Arc: Do I regret watching the anime? Yes. I could examine how stretched out this this was even with the filler removed all day. It is DIRE. Any sense of tension was destroyed and if I wasn’t sick I would’ve dipped. 4/10

Kamen Rider Black Sun: on a technical level I appreciate the movie. Good music, sound design, suits and it looked impressive for the budget it must have had. However, this might be the first toku I find actually offensive. No joke, it tries to recall George Floyds murder. Wtf.

Gundam witch from mercury S1: this is exactly what I needed and I’m waiting with baited breath. Nice to see the writing shine where ibo was dull. I’d buy the kits if I could 9/10

Knife or death: a perfect watch over some home cooked hotpot. The combination of gruff and warm hosts gives the show a ‘guys being dudes’ energy in a wholesome way. My only gripe is that as it goes on, it gets less diverse and loses some personality. More weirdos please. 7/10

Star Trek Prodigy: not particularly interesting on an episode by episode basis, but most treks have rough first seasons. Despite being a children’s show it’s more watchable than Picard or Disco, which is a low bar for me. It has trek spirit but it’s not made for me. 5/10

Astro Boy 2009:threw it on while I was cooking. Just as bad as I remember. I have some story boards for this for some reason. I don't know why. Speaking of not knowing why it feels like a 30-minute shows worth of content when it's over. It's strange. 3/10

Six String Samurai: I'd be more into this if the vibes were new to me. Unfortunately, I'm seeing this in 2023, so it reads like a Fallout New Vegas mod. In stark contrast to Astro Boy, this feels like it stretched on for hours and the kid ruined a lot of the cool moments. 3/10

Avatar 2: Not bad. Nothing groundbreaking, but great looking and drew me in for a sequel that was like 15 years late. I can't believe I was actually compelled by some of the characters. Avatar 2 was supposed to be a joke... 7/10

Shin Ultraman: this movie unashamedly embraces the fun Showa era energy like nothing I’ve seen. It’s funny, cool and is clearly a labor of love. It’s episode format makes me yearn for a tv continuation if it can maintain the constricted, but slick production and writing. 9/10

The men who made Ultraman: I get the sense a lot of the stuff in here should be taken with a grain of salt since it’s a dramatization, but man the peak behind the curtains on how creative and dangerous the special effects were then. Even the little things we take for granted 6/10

Vampire Survivors: I think by hitting 40 minutes I can kinda say I’ve ‘beat’ it in a sense even though there’s tons more content, but I need to add it to the list at some point. Good game with deceptively smart design to be a mobile game w/o the predatory garbage. 8/10

Rush Hour 3: Fun enough but I can feel the 2000s reliance on cringe humor and the stink of post 9-11 bigotry begin to set in. I had a few good laughs. 6/10

Loaded weapon 1: An absolute blast with the kind of cast you don’t see anymore. Again, Shatner is underutilized as a comedy actor. My final take: Sight gags are a lost art. 7/10

Spelunker my 2: I don’t really get the appeal of this game. Even with sprint switched off of default, movement felt oversensitive and deaths came only when my character did something I didn’t intend. Maybe I should’ve been on controller but this left a bad taste 3/10

Kill it With Fire: I appreciate smaller concept games like this, but as a recovering arachnophobe, this didn’t invoke as much of a response for me. My SO had a blast though. 5/10

A Few Good Men: Man. 8/10

Magic Lizard: ‘this feels like one of those adhd TikTok’s with an infinite runner game and family guy in the corners’ - @SuperheckDX this thing oscillates between middling slapstick to animal abuse. Genuinely disgusting for a moment (if you know you know) -3/10

SpongeBob in Tehran: enough of the jokes translate but the visual absurdity wears off pretty quick. -6/10

Webtoons I won’t dignify by naming: Trying out random Manhwa that caught my interest was a fun policy for a bit but I’ve been seriously burned. I could tear apart why even the best in the field have issues with long term storytelling due to issues with distribution. Im done 0/10

Puss in Boots the Last Wish: Being overhyped did this movie a disservice. The animation was fantastic, but there’s not much else here. I didn’t find it particularly exciting or funny and the musical number didn’t hit. I really it lacked that ohmf. Definitional 5/10 on my scale

Tangential, but Puss’s arc mirrors Kirk in Wrath of Khan. Do what you will with that.

Dwarf Fortress: disclaimer I didn’t play too much of this game but I appreciate its system rich nonsense. I’ll probably revisit it later since the unintuitive UI isn’t helped by most forum discussions not being for the steam version. IE idk how to make a horizontal door. 7/10

Entropy: Zero: Short sweet and to the point. It uses all of its creative ideas and remixes existing assets like nobody's business. A few stumbles like a turret stealth section that soft-locked me, but I appreciate a game that doesn't waste my time 7/10

Entropy Zero 2: I cant remember the last time I was this consistently exhilarated playing a shooter, maybe Titanfall 2. It delivers good writing, action, varied gameplay, gags and emotional beats. It caches the checks valve wrote a decade+ ago at their standard. A must play 9/10

Donbrothers The Movie: New First Love Hero. An absolute farce with almost no toku action. Needless to say it’s fantastic. 8/10. Will likely give any MMPR fan an aneurysm. The foreshadowing is clever…

Bionicle Mask of Light: I wouldn’t say it’s good since I’m an adult and have more tempered nostalgia, but I derived a lot of enjoyment watching it through the lens of knowing the lore and it added a level of dramatic irony. 5/10

Farscape S1: In its best episodes it delivers on a wacky premise and great puppets, at its worst it has pretty template episodes. The crews dynamic seems to be still finding the right balance of adversarial and friendly, and sometimes it just makes everyone seem like an ass. 6/10

Shadow of the Vampire: I might need to marinade my opinion on this somewhat. First impressions are good but part of me wishes it shied away from the come comical elements since the darker tone is interesting. Just made we want to see Nosferatu 8/10

Movie night speedrun Backstroke of the West: Surprisingly good joke dub -5/10 Marmaduke 2022: bizarre -1/10 Agent Revelation: what did they have on Dorn. 2/10

Movie Night Roundup: Alone in the Dark: false advertising, It was bright and I don't think anyone was alone. Made to be riffed on. -6/10 Fist of the North Star 1995: A total snoozefest that failed to hold our attention. The only fun was realizing Dante Basco was in it. 2/10

Pinocchio a True Stroy: We nearly watched a second dub with more generic voice action. Sadly this is basically unwatchable. 0/10 Waynes World 2: A weaker comedy than the original, mostly because it uses a recycled B plot. Nevertheless, a good palette cleanser. 6/10

Farscape Season: I appreciate the more serialized storytelling and multipart episodes. I appreciate that they are kinda figuring out the characters, specifically John going into his Joker arc. However, there were a few stinkers. 7/10

Record of Ragnarok S1/2: This isn't a particularly good adaptation, but the first fight should get an award for the most baffling adapted shounen fight. It truly put its worst foot forward. Otherwise pretty mid and doesn't make me feel particularly excited about the manga.

Vengeful Guardian MoonRider: On the plus side, it looks great and has a clear love of 90s anime and tokusatsu (Hakaider particularly). However, it just felt frustrating because of issues like an awkward walljump and a lot of cheap damage caused by the small screen. 3/10

Super Mario Bros(1993): people lied, this movie kicks ass. The bizarre mushroom kingdom is wildly entertaining, funny, internally consistent and inventive with how it remixes elements from the games. It’s not what the 2023 one will be: safe. 7.5/10

Return of Ultraman: I see what they were cooking. Not a lot to judge here but the way they stretched what they had was impressive. 7.5/10 Eragon: Laughed out asses off when playing Star Wars music. It synced perfectly at some point. But there’s nothing else to work with. -3/10

Aura Battler Dunbine (I): I'm splitting this up into three parts since I have distinct thoughts. The first third is relatively weak and fails to set up the factions (no idea what's up with house Given). However, it makes up for it with appealing classic fantasy aesthetics. 6/10

Dunbine (II): The middle chapter has a sharp improvement across the board. The politics and tactics begin to fall into place as the mech designs improve. The reverse Isekai arc with Garalia (my beloved) is a real standout. Bummer the Billbine sucks. 8/10

Dunbine (III): The final third speaks to me. The undercurrent of resignment and desperation pairs well with a massive shift in the mechanics of combat. While the repetition can get straining, the interjection of real-world interaction makes it work 8.5/10

Dunbine: I enjoyed the heck out of this series and appreciate the interesting ideas and aesthetics of this world. My only complaint is the way it approaches writing women. Its otherwise rad cast of mostly women gets tanked by Elmelie. Took me out of it. 8/10 #dunbinesweep

Farscape season 3: once again this season is an improvement over the last. Less crazy creatures, but more interestingly shot, especially towards the end. It makes the budget-friendly episodes go down more easily. I continue to enjoy John’s arc of just getting weird. 8/10

The thought that someday, someone will feed My Dinner with Andre with thousands of other contextless content into a machine learning algorithm fills me with a deep sadness. 9/10

Knife or Death Season 2: Overall pretty fun, but I felt that with the increased size of the episode order, they ran out of interesting contestants. You can only see so many redknecks in a row, and the finale was a bit of an upset in a b ad way. Season 3 needs some changes. 6.5/10

Donbrothers: This may be the funniest, most satisfying, and unapologetic show I have ever seen. I don't think any sentai can compare to it after, mostly because there hasn't, and can never be anything quite like this again. 10/10

Dunbine Neo Boston Well: phenomenal art and visuals but it kinda falls apart in execution. Eventually, you notice how little is animated and the Ovas have little time to explore its owns story let alone the amazing glimpses of this world. Good character design. 6/10

Destiny 2 lightfall: this expansion was so bad I think it broke the spell destiny had over me. It’s a bizarre swerve in story and aesthetics that is utterly betrayed by the most grating dialogue that was mixed in a way that hurt my ears. 2/10

Season of the seraph: a pretty middling season with some interesting mechanical tidbits, but not a lot to latch on to. It lacked the week to week narrative drive that kept me engaged. Now it feels like the content kinda ends in like 4 weeks. 5/10

Kentucky Fried Movie: slow start but pretty funny. The Enter the Dragon parody was a gas. We need more formless comedy chimeras. 6.5/10

JJBA:DIU 2017: what do you get when you remove the style, humor and pacing from jojo and try to take it completely seriously? Something that should never get it’s trilogy finished -3/10

Garzey’s wing: this thing lives and dies by it’s comically bad dub. Otherwise it’s a pretty write ova with a neat few ideas bot no real ending and would be an unsatisfying watch. However. The dub is hilarious. -6/10

Pledge this!: National Lampoon’s fell OFF! Idk if I can forgive @roflcopterbtw for putting this on the wheel…-3/10

Street Fighter: the legend of Chun Li: Firstly: why are you white. Secondly: if you want to see a better version of this movie, watch snake eyes. 3/10

Kingohger: first impressions: the first episode alternates between obscenely good looking and abysmal in was that is bizarre and completely preventable. They really didn’t have to do primarily cg environments. Writing is halfway to doing something cool but wiffs.

Onegamart: it’s like if a really well themed line ride kept going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going… 8/10 that was cool

Movie night roundup: Barbie the Princess and the Pauper: Concerningly well produced as a musical. Its a campy kids movie with comical CG. What more can I say. -6 Shrek the Musical: We were ENTRANCED by Farquad's costume! I can't say I agree with some of the decisions tho. 6/10

X-files S1 & S2: I find myself more compelled by the episodic mysteries rather than the serialized storyline. Maybe since the alien conspiracy feels a little one-note so far. The real treat is spotting famous actors and the occasional rising star at a higher rate than usual.7/10

X-Files S3 Vibe check: After a few real bangers, Ep12 and 13 were a 1-2 punch I didn't need after a stressful day. The hard dip in writing quality, bad drama, and cheap CW drama feel couldn't cover up what was clearly an anti-drug episode that no one seems to talk about. 2/10

The Man Who Laughs (1928): Essayists have already dissected this film on my behalf, but there’s something interesting here. Oddly enough it’s really obvious The Joker directly homages this more than I think it owes Taxi Driver. 7/10

G-Saviour: under the thick layer of low budget Canadian production and generic execution there’s some surprisingly cool cockpits sets and fight scenes that would’ve made for a good movie. However it isn’t and we never got the iterative sequels it wanted. 5/10

Welcome to Sudden Death: as Die Hard clones go this is a surprisingly fun watch. The reversal of the black comedy relief archetype and some genuinely cool but blue ballingly short martial arts sequences make this an entertaining 6/10 in the best way possible

John Wick: in all honesty this didn’t set my world on fire. I think it’s relevancy has more to do with it signaling that action movies could be cool again rather than the ‘secret world of assassins’ shtick I can’t see myself getting into. 6/10

John Wick 2 Electric Boogaloo: A marked improvement over the first for me, and a lot of that comes down to more creativity, bombast and actually being able to see the fights in this one. The secret society element was less rote than I assumed it would be. 7/10

John Wick 3: I think the missing ingredient might’ve been building up strong opponents. While an improvement, the movies deadly combat means each enemy gets one fight, so they don’t get the opportunity to develop. More bombast was welcome. 7/10

John wick 4: holy fuck in the goddamn. You know the movie is fire when 20 minutes later I say ‘John wick had a nunchuck, how tf did I forget that’. The last three are almost invalidated by how hard this executes on everything they both had and lacked. 9.5/10

AVGN movie: this one’s an oddity, it feels like a throwback to the golden age of early internet reviews despite coming out in like 2014. This is a realization of the channel Awesome movies but with competency and production. The gags and effects made me smile. 6/10

Trigun Stampede S1: Anime of the decade. Never before have seen such expressive 3d cg anime, let alone for tv. while it undercuts some of the charm of the original with its rush to the knives plotline, it makes up for it in its own identity. 9.5/10

The Future is a Dead Mall and Line Goes Up: I knew it was dire but wow. Line Goes Up aged particularly well. 8/10

X-Files S3: A real mixed bag, as mentioned earlier, this contains some of the best and worst episodes of television I can remember. While some parts of the serialized story are improved by getting interesting resolutions, my faith was shaken. 7/10

Pitch Black: Enjoyable as a thriller with a neat grimy version of space travel. it Tickles my fancy 7/10

Chronicles of Riddick: I guess this universe has a Warhammer 40K faction. I think the end result is cool, but I see why people think it was a weird pivot 7/10

Riddick: Just another cool thriller, liked the more survival elements at the beginning. 7/10

The Adventures of Kosuke Kindaichi (1979): One of the most impenetrable films I've ever tried to watch. I can't help but feel I lack the cultural context for this as a parody, but the visual absurdity and direction sell it. 7/10

Robot Ninja: Perhaps I'm just a sucker for the 'artist spiraling into madness' trope but this movie has an interesting take on it. If anything the Ohio shoe-string budget energy kind of enhances the delusion and unreality of it. Very critical of the comics industry. positive 5/10

The War in Space: I'll admit I talked with my friends through this one, but the model shots and excellent space suits caught our attention. Effective final sacrifice but overall it was uneventful in a 70s toku way. 4/10 (the captain had Leonard Maccoy energy)

What's up tiger Lily: The specter of Woody Allen haunts this film. While historically important as the first notable parody dub, the space jokes (which mostly land) and lousy 60's dancing interludes kill the energy and just make me want to see the original. 4/10

Skyrim SE: Since Skyrim is kind of a Super Game(TM) I'm breaking it up since some parts of it feel totally disjointed.

Skyrim (main quest): I assumed the Blades quest chain would be on the level of the Mages College in terms of importance. I appreciate its attempts to intersect with the civil war plotline but it felt over in a hurry. The final dungeon is a joke. 4/10

Overall, having the focus on melee combat against a pretty bad enemy variety makes the game feel like a slog. It does manage moments of brilliance, but the half-baked questing feels more like frustrating writing. Base game is a mess with potential. 6/10

Skyrim: Saints and Seducers: It kinda sucks how this DLC was plopped in without any consideration. I mean yay free content (I wouldn't have paid for it), but my animosity comes from stumbling into the strongest weapon in the game on my blind playthrough, trivializing combat. 4/10

Tron: Half the fun of this movie is trying to contort the metaphor of the grid onto my understanding of how these systems actually work, like naval admirals watching Battleship. The Wendy Carlos score is really unusual and has wormed its way into my head. A charming 4/10

Passenger 57. Die Hard on a plane. No Notes. 7/10

Batman and Robin: As a 60s Batman enjoyer, I cannot overstate how much of a joy this was to watch. The costumes, the set design, the pitch-perfect acting, the architecture, the cheeseball writing..never have I seen more camp with such ambition and budget. 8/10

Skyrim: Dragonborn: this smaller, denser island shows what Skyrim can do. Stealing from morrowind gave this place a lot more character and it was refreshing. However some bad bugs and dragon controlling being a complete mess…It was an 8/10, but man 6.5/10

Skyrim: Dawngaurd (vampire): not great. Besides careening down the main quests chain without noticing the 8 radiant quests(the vamps aren’t fun to deal with). Mechanically, vampirism sucks. I never found switching forms to be anything but cumbersome and it wasn’t any better…

Vampire and dragon attacks killing NPCs is a cool idea but having that happen when you’re doing the main quest is just confusing. Adding the Vale and the soul gem dimension is neat, but kinda shallow. Each felt like other dlc they condensed.

The saving grace really is Serana, which was further advanced by an incredible mod that has me wanting to restart and take the dawnguard path. Until then…5/10

X Files S4/5: Once again there were a few bangers, but I'm starting to get the creeping feeling that the atmosphere that made the series unique is beginning to get lost. I wouldn't say many of these are terribly tense or mysterious anymore6. 5/10

STEALTH(2005): Look, I'm of two minds about this thing. Yes, it wastes a lot of time. Yes, the DOD clearly inserted a 15-second scene that minimizes the interesting sci-fi of the movie in a ridiculous way that had my friends both booing and laughing at the movie...

BUT HOLY SHIT ACE COMBAT MOVIE REAL!!! The last half really leans into being a bombastic action and sci-fi thriller. I can't think of a movie that had a more left-for-dead character and 'the loyalty switching is nearly at gundam levels' -@SuperheckDX 7/10

Bright Memory Infinite: I'll give it credit for a surprisingly fresh twist on character action, but it's over just as it gets good and I feel like it learned the wrong lessons from the early 8th gen CoD era of shooters. Worst double jump in an fps to date 5/10

X-Files S6: I'm not sure how, but a shark was jumped at some point between seasons. Immediately the average quality went down and the episodes felt much less engaging. It still managed to surprise me (Aliens in the Klan???) 5/10

Lobsteroids: it serves video game fmv vibes. -4/10 No.1 of the secret service: fun action and a Dracula assassin make up for having a plot I couldn't follow, but I'll give them points for a bravely anti-climactic ending. Just a good B movie bond. 6/10

ZOE: 2nd Runner MARS: I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this fucks. The remaster really shows how strong the art direction is by sharpening it up and it looks and plays divine. However, the translation and dub are incomprehensible. It's like what people say about Tomino's writing.8/10

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3: I don't think this movie was great, the jokes didn't quite make me laugh and there were some wasted opportunities, but the emotional core worked. I feel a good sense of closure from this over the MCU in general. 7/10

X-Files S7: Nah: 5/10

Azure Striker Gunvolt 3: I never got around to putting this on the list since I was hoping to finish the 2nd character playthrough, but that never materialized. 

This game has sparks of good. Good voice acting and a few creative level concepts that sell the team’s energy. The gameplay loop of tagging and teleporting is married well with the well tuned directional aim. Its also up to Inti’s bar for visual flare.

However this is all in spite of everything else. The translation makes some bizarre choices that make Joule is immediately grating, mostly due to the choice to never shut up about fetters (you could just call them seals...). The timeskip is truly bizarre since it abandons all the plot threads for a more or less identical setting, just with apologism for the evil conglomeration which Gunvolt is okay with working for now (despite being turned into a dog for some reason.) Worse, Joule is immediately the most mechanically bloated character in a 2d game, having too many features at once in addition to the (also expanded with her abilities) Gunvolt style switching. Less is more, if they had settled for GV with the flashstep or simplified Joule individually it would have been more fun to control. If they were going to give players so much more combat capability, it would’ve been nice to have enemies that could actually fight back...6/10

Kamen Rider Geats × Revice: Movie Battle Royale: Who put battle royale in my previously battle royale-free battle royale Toku show...AND it crosses over with the first battle royale Kamen Rider? I’m gonna be real, Revice nostalgia was coming on stronger than I was prepared for with this movie. I hope we see more Seeker in future material and the Ryuki cameos were heartwarming (except Ouja’s suit had a prominent pot-belly for some reason.) 7/10

Revice Forward: Kamen Rider Live & Evil & Demons: I miss revice... Making Demon Hiromi a Vergil was an interesting choice 6/10

The Super Mario Bros. Movie: I’m of two minds about this. On one hand, This is really the best version of a Illumination Mario movie we could get. It has fantastic sequences with 80′s pop music replacing the perfectly timed and funny soundtrack for what feels like a quota. It didn’t really make me, as an adult laugh or really engage much with its emotional stakes one they entered the mushroom kingdom. (I kinda liked their whole failing plumbing business) They tried to do something with the core cast, but without doing anything really memorable, save for good performances in spite of the material. Chris Pratt isn’t awful. It should be deeply meh, but it has enough colors and the occasional humor to make it work. If anything I would like to see the midpoint between this and the 80′s one 6/10

However, the pattern recognition part of my brain would have lit up like a Christmas tree if you put it in an MRI. I’ll admit that even a cynic like me soyjacked a few times when I saw something from Mario 3.

Telefrag: Listen, I don’t like beating a dead horse...but I see why it’s a dead game. bad feedback and tutorialization make matches with only one bot by default and fast ttk even less interesting than they should be. 2/10

Eagle Flight: It’s amazing how Ubisoft finds ways to ruin their own games with corporate nonsense. On startup within steam VR, I had resolve the bugged out multiplayer launcher installation while having to repeatedly switch from my VR headset and my keyboard. It left a sour taste in my mouth for an admittedly neat and good controlling game. There were a few instances of inconsistent button prompts in menus as well. The promise of flying through the air like an eagle is realized but did it really nead assassin’s creed collectible and map mechanics? 4/10

Sierra Ops: I occasionally see moments where what this was supposed to be shine through, but overall the writing could use an aggressive editing pass to allow it to capture the excitement of a space opera by tightening up the interpersonal stuff. I usually love this stuff when its concise, but the relationship drama comes across as bloated and ends up sinking the whole experience. An hour and a half of half vague meandering disengaged me for the cool declaration of war moments. Even longer until the game properly starts. It did grab me once or twice but mostly I found myself skipping and it still felt long. The gameplay is neat enough to begin with, enough to get me to the halfway mark but only having two possible other small ships in your controllable battle group kinda kills the exciting strategy and large scale warfare the premise promised. The more mechanics it ads the worse it plays unfortunately. Mostly because the mecha can't be ordered and must be actively controlled, destroying the gameplay flow. I also encountered a broken feature for the long range bombardment at the start of the third chapter where it only worked once. The only youtube playthrough that got that far had the same issue but never noticed.

I don’t think this thing is going to complete its 10 chapter plan, but with the >2 chapters I played. 2/10

Fast X: I feel hard judging this harshly since it is supposed to be part one of a duology(trilogy?) but I feel like the rubber is going to hit the road once we see the payoff to the setup. As it is, I can’t say it was mind blowing in comparison to 6-9 since some of the action sequences were deliberate retreads. 6/10

Rocky: A lot of times I find the movies pop culture upholds as classics are divorced from the actual quality of the material. This is one of those cases where I was blown away. I can’t think of another case where a character was so soulfully portrayed in every small minutia of the performance, direction and even set design. While I usually dislike the dirty look to a lot of 70′s film (I’ve watched a lot of movies that should’ve stayed in the 70s) the filth of Rocky’s world sings in every character. In the first 10 minutes I knew I would ride or die with this lovable loser. 10/10

My Friend Pedro: Interesting gunplay ideas that feel made for twitter clips. However I never quite felt the flow. The real enemy is a tedious and artificially extended playtime fattened with too many puzzle platforming segments that add nothing. Ultimately the ‘lol so random XD’ humor got old real quick. It had the energy of a Deadpool cosplay in the 2010s who didn’t know when to quit when he was ahead. 4/10

~~~Random Half-Life/Portal mod roundup~~~

Thinking with Time Machine: Its primary mechanic is interesting but cumbersomely executed. The puzzles are more a pain to pull off than solve and the writing is bad fanfiction tier. I encountered multiple repeatable crashes between levels. 3/10

Requiem of Science: It starts out as an uninspired series of levels and escalates into a baffling gasps of creativity that make no sense and have no real context. Random mashup of Black Mesa and Aperture assets? Kinda weird. Egyptian pyramid with a trap involving 15 consecutive headcrabs? What? It’s really just a series of random source assets combined with maybe your 3rd attempt at a doom wad in high school. The story is...bad. The protagonist is named Genry Freedom and it has spongebob beyond writing. 2/10

Snowdrop Escape. Too many straightforward puzzles and gunplay felt nonthreatening. I never felt challenged and this thing has essentially no story, not that I could hear it half the time. I’ll put this in my ‘bad multiverse media’ pile.  2/10

Rexaura: Good puzzles and fresh mechanics but the writing and story didn’t wow me. Competent. 5/10

Entropy Zero: Uprising: Encountered a gamestopping bug, but the pretty normal content didn’t give me the energy to continue.

Logistique: The puzzles weren’t as hard as they were dull. but I appreciate the effort 3.5/10

Portal Stories VR: can’t really say much other than I was trapped halfway through the floor and it had unity’s kinda bad movement. 2/10

The Lab: Neat gimmicks but only two were worth more than 4 minutes of my time. 4/10

Aperture Hand Lab: My controller didn’t have the haptics to progress, but it was pretty funny while it lasted. 5/10

Entropy Center Demo: Look we all know this is a portal fangame. Puzzles were neat enough with the rewind mechanic. I can’t say it has the wit that makes portal work yet just from the demo, but I hope it adds that X factor it needs. 6.10

Justice League: Putting aside my bias for the cast, which is peppered with some of my personal favorites from TV, This is a solid show. By most measuring sticks this measures up, but people like me who know too much about comics can get waaaay more out of this. It’s confident enough to show a haranguing news anchor wave around a copy of ‘Seduction of the Innocent’ assured both kids and general audiences understand its criticism of moral panics while respecting comic book fans to use their brains to catch the specific callouts to real world history. It has ham and it has heart. from the goofy golden age callbacks to the Christmas special with sharp character writing. I miss the dedication to creating quality entertainment with its material. 7.5/10

Shin Kamen Rider: Full disclosure, my experience with this movie was colored by a pretty rotten day. The first fifteen minutes were gold. There was energy. A snappy camera, brisk exposition and flare to the action. It replicated the tricks that made the original show work but dialing up the visually absurd elements to contrast with a more serious tone. I’ve heard some folks had bad screenings, but I had the pleasure of a few sporadic academic chuckles to add ambiance. Shoutout to the sight gag where the cyclone motorcycle is following Ichigo during a dialogue scene at a polite distance. The whole thing reminded me of Anno’s earlier live action take on Cutie Honey. However after the first act, I got the sense the film was petering out. Perhaps the format of adapting a handful of episodes risks getting tired, but by the start of the third act I was checked out. I don’t check my phone in theaters. I checked my phone, looked up how long the film was and questioned if I wanted to stick it out another hour. Worse this is the first movie to physically hurt my eyes. The penultimate battle is in a pitch dark tunnel with abrupt flashes of bright light that caused me to recoil, even cover my eyes after a few minutes. 3/10. That time he did a flip was cool, but I regret staying.

Rocky II: This should’ve been a cash-in sequel. It repeats the beats of a first film that needs no follow up. Rocky’s arc was done, do we really need another with the same beats? Second verse same as the first but a little bit more production value and pretty dang good. I’m giving it a 9/10 so it must’ve done something right. The melodrama of pregnancies and unemployment and comas didn’t have me, until it did. This movie waited to switch back to southpaw and didn’t let up after that. 9/10 

DragonHeart: It’s a kids movie but it does have that childlike wonder and innocence you don’t see in fantasy movies these days. If I think the dragon looks good or bad depends on my mood at the time 6/10

The Master Demon: I’ve seen low budget but this is something else. We skipped most of it. -3/10

Battleship: It really didn’t have me, and then it did. This movie needed another few weeks in the editing booth because opening you ship action movie with some boner comedy shenanigans doesn’t bode well. Gimme a tight 90 cut and we are in buisness. There is no doubt in my mind why this is a favorite in a lot of navy households, because this is somehow more hype than Top Gun. 6.5/10

Justice League Unlimited S1-2: Fantastic. Perfectly constructed. It operates metatextually as a commentary, even a refutation, of many of Alan Moore’s works and opinions on superheroes. As someone who enjoys the odd comic book, the intertextual game of ping-pong that is The Question (voiced by Jeffery Combs, who better?) is an absolute joy to see. Adaptations like ‘For the Man Who Has Everything’ show a clear love for the character driven aspect of capes and cowls that you don’t see anymore. It more thoughtful and nuanced than it has any right to be, and talks up to any audience with more respect than I’ve seen out of superhero media (outside of maybe Gunn’s movies). Even the most die hard modern comic book fan should loop back to this for a shot in the arm of hope. 9/10

Justice League Unlimied S3: there was a third one I guess 7/10

[it looks like a few of the things I added got lost so quick lightning round]

Dungeons and Dragons, Honor Among Thieves: Hey! Thats pretty good! It’s a charming and fin fantasy movie, don’t see those as much as we should these days. Best of all it really captured the energy of someones unwieldy campaign. Hope a sequel has a completely different party. 7.5/10

Bumblebee in 4K: Each subsequent viewing I can deconstruct this into its component movies more and more, but ‘steal from the best!’ 7/10

Mikadroid: It was fascinating and had a unique atmosphere. The obvious symbolism of a 80′s Japanese bubble disco built on top of a ruin of fascist superweapon is a treat. Great costume and model work where it counts, but it undercuts itself with poor momentum and a monster that is shown in a few unflattering angles. Spotted a classic Ultraman actor so I’m happy 7/10

LoZ Cartoon E1: annoyingly competent 4/10

Kappa Mikey E1: I see why this wasn’t good enough for 2000′s MTV. In spite of it all it was actually a little funny -5/10

Mars Needs Moms: The implications will tie your brain in knots while the actual story is so bog standard it numbs your mind at the same time. The aliens were clearly somebody’s fetish in production. -4/10

Dune 1984: I’mma be real with you chief. this isn’t great. Sorry Mr.Lynch, they can’t all be winners. Nice Cameo though. I will come to the defense of character inner monologues though, but having them whispered doesn’t work. I wasn’t wowed by the special effects but the weird set dressing had a charm. 5/10

Across the Spiderverse: I might need more time to digest it, but within the first 10 minutes I had to stop and think if there might be other animated movies that look this good. Not even close. I think the beats hit me differently than some others, but yeah, no doubt. It’s great. Anything else would be nitpicks I will withhold till the second part. 9.5/10

Oh wait, Unlimited SpiderMan didn’t have a prominent role: 0/10

Heavy Metal L-Gaim: It pains me to say this, but I couldn’t finish it. Individually, each episode delivers top notch cartooning with expressive and goofy animation that really sell the wacky cast. That is, when we, as an audience, can get it. The plot lacked forward momentum and enough of it felt dull that I dropped it a few times. I skipped to the end and found a backloaded finale with a soggy final note. The vibes are top notch, but it can only take you so far. 6/10

Rocky 3: I though a shark was jumped when Hulk Hogan showed up, but they had me. They fucking had me. 8/10

Wolf Tracer’s Dinosaur Island: this had to have been a tax scheme or something. -4/10

Skull Island: I got nothing. No real emotional response. Nothing. It was there. It was inoffensive. But I gotta point out that at this point, Kong’s survival rate for plucky kid companions is pretty low. 5/10

The Italian Job (2003): A fun enough heist movie, but now I want to watch the original to compare 6.5/10

Transformers Rise of the Beasts: Just because it’s CGI action slop doesn’t mean it can’t have heart. Putting aside my predisposition to like this, it was a decently constructed version of what these movies are. It was coherent, funny and well made. My only gripe is that at the end they do something just kinda weird, but you know what? Who cares! Besides that one moment, the movie had my suspension of disbelieve right where it needed to be to have a grand old time.

As a Transformers fan? There was fanservice. I was a fan, and I was served. ‘Subversion of expectations is kind of a tainted expression, but by reversing a few familiar bleats was a nice variation on a theme. They could’ve easily messed it up, or gone too far, but so much as a few notes of a leitmotif made me a hair shy of spontaneous combustion. The credits stinger? Dumb as hell, but you know what this movie earned it, and My entire friend group was popping off. 7.5/10

Rock 4: This doesn’t quiiiite live up to the premise of ‘Rocky destroys the soviet union’, but it tries. however I felt more like I was watching an ad for the album. Kinda like Netflix shows that are desperate to make the next big TikTok dance after Wednesday performed well. 7/10

Farscape: I gave the last season a fair shake and found it kind of unwatchable. 2/10

Half Life Alyx: Oppressive. Immersive. Possibly the last VR game I’ll ever need to play until they make a sequel. This could only be by the virtue of being the only vr game that actually feels like a real game, but it is far more than that.

MyHouse.pk3: I kinda ruined this for myself a little since I blasted through the non-spooky wad version a few times confused about what the fuss was over. However the creativity and magic to make this work is astounding. The final beat was pretty cool. Short and sweet. 7/10

(Lost a few of my entries due to an edit error, these’ll be shorter than my original thoughts)

Black Mesa: A triumph of game remakes. While Xen is a more total reimagining, the rest of it really makes me appreciate how ahead of its time a lot of the original Half Life was. I often found myself suprised when reviewing the original, sections I thought were added in were in fact there since 1998. Genuinely gorgeous at times. 9/10

Devilman 2004: How do you make Devilman Boring? If you have seen any 2000′s Japanese b-movie, you have seen this one. Its got all the halmarks, minimal action, camcorder grade early digial picture quality and a lot of high school non-drama for some reason. -2/10

Bloodshot: This movie goes hard than it’s redbox-grade appearance would have you believe. It weaves this deception into its intentionally genre generic setup in a way that makes tired sci-fi tropes feel exciting. Its costumes and CG fights feel like they outmatch what marvel pours millions into. 7.5/10

Barbie Princess Charm School: The things I watch for our movie night’s wheel. It’s competent, but not as funny as the last one I watched. -5/10

Rocky V: It’s very 1990, though I feel like the energy is brought down by the cheap contrivance to reset rocky back to the streets TM. I will say that the emotional beats with Micky hit hard, and I appreciate having the fight at the end be out of the ring. Refreshing, but I think this was a good place to end it. 7.5/10

Andromeda S1: An efficiently produced show that takes star trek (in all but name) into an interesting new status quo. I did worry at first that it would fall into the bad habits of white savior storytelling and some cheesy sci-fi concepts (nietzschean? really?). However I can’t contest that I had a good time and there were enough fresh episodes to keep me happy. 7/10

Movie Night Speedround

Alone in the Dark 2: this is clearly a movie they just retitled. 4/10

Jupiter Ascending: Can’t rate since I might get back to this later but it at least looked neat. -4/10

Nick Fury Agent of SHEILD: Good casting but this sure is a TV movie. -4/10

Nutcracker and the Four Realms: This was more fun when it was an actual ballet production for 5 minutes. Generic late 2010s Disney twist and fluctuating production value. Morgan Freeman is a clockpunk father cristmas. 6/10 

[pedropascallovebot]

The Sidewalk Rule ~ Chapter 4

cw: harassment, panic attacks

also posted on ao3

-

New Years Eve was rough. Like, sobbing into your blankets and punching your pillow type heartbroken. 2018 was not going to be your year. You'd grown accustomed to a routine in Gotham, and while your life wasn't perfect, you were okay with it for the most part, until the slippery slope of bad news grabbed you and threw you down the rabbit hole. 

It started with your friends promotion, two days before New Years. 

"Denver! Isn't that great? I leave in March, I'm so excited!"

Denver is a thousand miles away. 

"Denver is fucking fantastic, I'm so happy for you!"

Then, your landlord. 

"You can't raise it up that high with such short notice, sir," your voice attempting to sound unwavering on the phone, "I- Yes, yes, I understand- I understand that, but-"

He could raise it up that high with such short notice.

The brief intermission of happiness you experienced last year was slowly fading, the lights were flashing and going back to the regularly scheduled shit show. You considered calling Ed during your little breakdown, ask him if he wanted to come over and watch the festivities on television with you, but you didn't want him to think you were trying to take up all of his time, and while the idea of him in your bedroom on New Year's eve was tempting, you couldn't overstep like that.

Which is why your heart fluttered when you heard your phone ding in the midst of your pity party.

ed :-) :

What happened to the woman who stole a calendar on New Year's eve?

You sat up, wiping the tears from your vision. You looked at the time, and realized it was 12:00 on the dot. New Years.

You responded quicker than you care to admit.

she received twelve months. maybe this year you'll finally be able to outsmart me. happy 2018, Edward >:-)

He watched you smile through the little peak of window at the bottom that your blinds didn't cover. Feeling accomplished, on top of his game. There was that laugh. 

-

It's been an oddly silent and still week.

Your boss doesn't leave his office- sure, he never did much of that anyway except to preach productivity and to grab coffee from the break room, but you're surprised if you see him at all during the workday. You don't know what he's doing in there, and every time you ask Ed, he's uncharacteristically quiet.

"Maybe he's dead and us seeing him is just a weird grief-driven figment of our imagination," you had joked to him, chin resting in your hands staring at the closed door. You just didn't get it. 

"Don't know if I would feel any grief towards him if he was dead."

You two sat in silence for a bit after that; Ed leaned back against the cold metal of the foldable chair he dragged to reception, scribbling in a worn out composition book, and you lost in your own thoughts.

You're not worried about Mark. Really. At his best, he's the guy you see Monday to Friday who signs your (upsettingly low) paycheck, and at his worst, he's a creep show who finds reasons to brush his hand across your lower back when you're digging around in the break room fridge. You don't care about his well-being. Edward tells you kindness is a virtue, but you shouldn't waste it on an asshole like that. Maybe he's right- after all, the entire office is quiet and seemingly unbothered about Mark's behavior. Quiet, uncaring, and it makes it easier for you and Ed to take your regularly scheduled diner breaks without disapproving looks from your boss. 

It's just.. too quiet. 

Edward isn't there on Wednesday. He texts you and tells you it's a dentist appointment, and you don't really believe him. You jot down the phone numbers that call for him, you brew a new pot of coffee around eleven. You file some paperwork, color coordinate a new planner for February (it's good to be super prepared, but it's not even halfway through January) and you realize as you're googling ways to cure boredom at work on your phone under the desk that you're wanting to go home. Huh. It's barely past two and you're already staring at the clock, watching it tick and tick and tick-

You glance at Mark's office, and then back to your coworkers in their cubicles, typing away and not sparing a single thought for your bosses well being. 

When you stand, the wheel of your chair hits the metal of the folded up chair that Ed usually sits in, but no one looks up. 

Walking towards the door, you don't really process that what you're doing might be a bad idea. A really bad idea. You're just the receptionist- Marks moods and emotions mean absolutely nothing in regards to answering the phone and filing away papers and receiving your paycheck at the end of the week. You're bored because Edward isn't here and you should just fucking set the phone to go to voicemail and leave. But you don't. Because Edward isn't here and there's no one to stop you from knocking. 

You wait for the okay to come in, and you slowly crack the door open. Close it. Acknowledge Mark before sitting down. You aren't used to being in this office- it's freezing and there's no wall art or pictures of family that you can immediately see. It's just certificates and binders and random pieces of paper strewn across bookshelves. 

"I, uh- I'm sorry to take up your time like this," you begin, immediately regretting everything. You regret standing up. You regret knocking. Why'd you even come in here? Because you were upset that you didn't get to spend one Wednesday with someone you see almost every other day of the week? 

"Don't ever apologize for stopping in here," he interrupts. "I'd much rather see your face than any of these other hard-chargers out there."

You turn to look at your coworkers, but you remember all the shades are shut.

Before you open your mouth to speak again, he gets up out of his chair suddenly, and comes out from behind the desk to sit in the seat next to yours. 

You miss Edward. You hate this. You were just trying to be nice.

"So what brings you in?"

The way he says your name grosses you out. The way he's now sitting down next to you and resting his hand on the arm of your chair is making your body recoil, and you wish Edward were here. 

"You've just been.. in here a lot, I guess?" you manage to stutter out, and immediately don't know what you actually wanted to say. "I mean, no- it's your office, of course you're in here a lot, just.. more than usual?"

There's a beat of silence before he stands to start and fiddle with the drawers of his desk, moving papers around nervously. You wait to see if he responds, but he doesn't and you take it as invitation to continue.

"I don't mean to pry or anything, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay, I'm sorry-"

Mark is quiet still, so you take it as an opportunity to stand up and go to head out the door, but he's quicker than you are and suddenly he's standing in front of you and fuck, he's much bigger than you are and he's standing over you and you're screwed. 

"You're always so sweet, aren't you?"

His voice is like nails on a chalkboard. He's backing you into the door, and you want to run but your brain seems to be locking you in place as he towers over you. Soon your back is against the wall, and your hand is desperately reaching for the doorknob but you're only meant with the glass pane of the window.

"So quick to help out, so nice," he hisses, hand finding the doorknob before you can and holding it in place. Fuck, you're screwed, you're screwed- "I hope Edward is treating you right, because if he's not, there's a line of men that are waiting for a chance with you, sweetie."

You want to cry. You want to scream and cry and punch and kick but your brain won't let you, you're frozen and there's nothing you can do except wait for him to let go of the door. Please let go of the fucking door. 

"Mark," you pleaded quietly when he leans in, and you smell the alcohol on his breath. 

He murmurs something, leaning in closer and closer, and then the phone rings from outside. 

You don't waste any time when he lets go of the handle. You manage to worm your way through the door and slam it shut before he can try anything else. The noise makes a few faces look up at you with looks varying from concern to disinterest, but they all look back down to their computers. You don't even remember the walk back to your desk. You don't pick up the ringing phone. You pick at the sleeve of your sweater and stare at the door to Mark's office, making sure it won't open and he won't come storming out.

When the phone rings again, you don't answer, you're too focused on keeping an eye on the office and keeping your breathing under control. You try and make yourself look busy with rewriting dates from the planner to a sticky note, over and over again. You're so fixated on your eyes darting from your sticky notes to the office door that you jump when you hear a slight tap on your desk, and you look up to see Bill leaning over with his elbows propped up, messing with a leaf of the small fake potted plant you keep up at reception. 

"Everything okay?"

He says your name just like Mark does, but you can't tell if that's just because your brain is still hyper focused on the events that happened ten minutes ago. 

You don't.. not like Bill. You don't like him, you don't really know if he's a good guy or not, but he seems to work really hard and he's never been downright creepy in his advances towards you (at least you don't think so, but Ed's made it clear that he thinks of him as a scumbag who spends half of his days staring at you and the other half doing lines in the bathroom) but you still don't want to be fucking bothered. 

"I'm okay, Bill," you snap, but immediately regret it when you see the recoil and hurt look on his face. "I- I'm just, super tired. You know how it is."

You try to lace your voice with sweetness in order to get that sad expression off his face.

Always so sweet, aren't you?

You think you're gonna be sick. 

"I've been standing here for a while, you were just in your own little world," he laughs. That makes the bile rise in your throat. How long was he there? How long did he watch you? How long was he staring down your shirt for? How long was it gonna be before he trapped you in an office with his hand pressed against the doorknob?

"You were just standing there? That's kind of creepy," you bluntly state, piling up all your stickys and putting them in a neat pile next to the planner with the same dates scrawled in. He must mistake your tone for a joke, because he laughs.

"You know me, always watching!"

You manage to fake a close lipped smile, not saying anything and hoping he'd just go. It seems luck isn't on your side today though, because he gets closer and starts breathing a little heavier, which does nothing for your nerves and your nails are digging so hard into your palms you're gonna have imprints of them there all day. 

"Hey, uh-" he starts, clearly not picking up the hints that you're trying to gently put down. "I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink after work? I know I've asked before, but I figured it'd be fun to, y'know, get together with people outside of work, right?"

You can't breathe. You don't know what's happening, but your legs are shaking and you feel dizzy and nauseous and you feel like you're dying. You can't breathe.

You can't even be bothered to make eye contact with Bill. You want to softly tell him you're not interested, to stop asking, to find someone who likes him, you want to be nice and kind and soft but you can't and your chair squeaks when you jump up from it. You can feel the eyes of a couple coworkers on you, and Bill is still looking at you expectantly, like your silence was supposed to be a yes. 

"I'm with Edward," you blurt out before you even realize what you're doing. Fuck. Fuck, why'd you say that?"

Bill raises an eyebrow, like he's not convinced. 

He goes to say something, but you're up out of your chair and shrugging your coat on.

"I mean, he's my boyfriend," you say, and it feels so natural and you wish you were of sound mind to fully appreciate it. "We've been going out for a while."

You mutter out a quiet goodbye, and you swing the door open and step out to the hallway, but Bill follows you. He follows you and the tears are fighting to come out when he grabs your wrist to get you to stop. You tug it away so harshly that he has no choice but to drop it. 

He's quickly spilling out apologies, and the way his words are rolling off his tongue so quick make your nausea even worse.

"Bill, just tell Mark I had to leave early if he asks," and you're off, hand clutching the strap of your bag. You keep walking, letting a tear fall and hoping you can make it all the way home before you start sobbing. 

-

Edward wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead, hands cramping as he tightens what seems to be the billionth screw on this damn thing. He's been doing this all day, and he could in theory be tired but he's not really thinking of how he currently feels, he just wants it to be perfect and he needs it to work.

He's interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, and he swears when his hands jerk and the screw falls out. 

He knows it's you, though. He felt really fucking silly making your ringer different from everyone else, especially when you're the only one who calls, but when he's so invested in his work like he is right now, he needs to know if the phone call is worth getting up and dusting the grime off his hands before answering. 

He picks up on the third ring. 

"Is this the receptionist at KTMJ? We have horrible news for you- Edward's teeth have taken control of his body and are now eating him alive from the inside."

"Oh, geez... Well, if that's the case, can you tell Edward that his workplace doesn't offer insurance or time off for teeth possessed by demons and he's still expected to come into work tomorrow?"

She's crying.

It's harder to tell on the phone, but he can hear your voice cracking, the stuffed nose. Why were you crying? 

He's immediately making his way to his computer. 

"I'll let him know, but unfortunately we've had to put him in the containment unit because his teeth have become so violent that they severely injured another dentist here."

He's opening up the software he installed on your phone, scrolling to find any texts that were sent out or received in the past few hours. He can only find one that you sent your best friend five minutes ago.

hey girl, i know we had plans but i gotta cancel. work was shit and i'm just gonna take the night to chill. i'm so so sorry :^( see you soon though! 

Edward clenches his fist, head tilting back and controlling his breath and reminding himself he has to chill out. He can't let you know he knows anything. He takes a minute. Listens to the sound of your voice joking around about demon teeth. Throws a screw against the wall, watches it bounce off.

"Anything fun happen at work today?"

The way it goes quiet for a second confirms his suspicions. 

He knows it's probably got something to do with Mark. He figured with him being in his drop-induced bender that it'd be the perfect time to take a day off, take some shit off the back burner without worrying if his boss was going to harass you without his presence being there. Fuck, he's never taking a day off again, and if he does, you're coming with him. 

He's already putting his shoes on, grabbing his keys and trying to close the door silently as possible as to not alert you he's heading to see you. 

"Just the usual, I guess. Mark's still cooped up in his kingdom though. I'm starting to think he's never coming out of there."

Edward lets out a quiet sigh, relieved whatever the tears were for had nothing to do with anything Mark was up to. He's racking the files in his brain, trying to think of anything else that might be making you cry. They go to some pretty.. dark places. The more he thinks on those, the more violent he feels, so he puts the mental files away. 

"Hey, I know it might be sorta weird for you to hear this, but I told Bill you were my boyfriend today."

He stops walking. He stops breathing. 

You speak again before can continue. "I'm sorry, I panicked, he just asked me out and he was insistent and I didn't want to be mean-"

Insistent?

What the fuck do you mean by insistent?

Edward changes courses when he sees it's almost five, almost time for the end of the work day. God, he didn't even realize you called him so early, from home. Why were you home?

"Ed?"

He snaps out of his rage, and remembers what you just said to him. Boyfriend. His girlfriend- you were his girlfriend- wait, fuck, no, that's what she told Bill-

"Why would I be upset over that?"

You're quiet again, and he thinks you've hung up before you speak.

"I don't know, I mean, I didn't want you to think I was trying to use you as a get out of jail free card, I guess," you stammer out. "I'm sorry."

Ed feels the pit of his stomach fill up half with white hot rage and then pure bliss fills the other. He feels weightless and weighed down and he's going to kill the motherfucker but he also wants to see him cry when he walks in through the door with your hand in his, because everyone is going to know you're his, you're Edward's.

At least, in Bill's head you are. And in Edward's head, you're his too, you just don't know it quite yet. 

"I'm not mad at all, I promise," he soothes, footsteps leading him in the direction he wants to go. He's not even looking where he's going, but he knows how to get there and he knows fully what he's gonna do when he's inside. "You can absolutely use me as a way to get out of creepy assholes, always."

You don't seem to be crying anymore. He had plans to go sneak a peek through the slats in your blinds, see if he could get a better read on the situation, and maybe ask if he could take you out for some dinner to make up for leaving you alone today. Maybe coax you into admitting today was a shit day. 

Too bad Bill had to go on being insistent.

However, a small part of Edward thinks he should maybe be thanking Bill. After all, if he didn't ask you out for the tenth time, you would of never had to make up the excuse you did.

He walks and talks to you, footsteps not faltering. He's determined to get where he's going, even if it means he's gonna have to hang up the phone when he gets there. He wishes he was on his way to see you, but he tells himself this will be quick. Just a pitstop. Just something he has to do before anything else.

When he reaches the doorstep, he's leaning down and picking the lock.

[dw-flagler]

this post is literally just me complaining about an obscure spider man spinoff comic from 2006 for like a thousand words. Don't read it. I'm serious.

So i read the series amazing spider-girl because i was on a spider kick. I didn't want to go to theaters to watch across the spiderverse so i'm waiting on a dvd release or something that would allow me to watch it for no money and still get that nice and crisp 1080p.

So i read amazing spider-girl. It was a lot better than I was expecting. Not, you know, legendarily good. But better than you'd think for a comic spinoff starring a girl in 2006. and here's the kicker. It wasn't ultra hypersexualized. Amazing W for american comic books compared to japanese manga.

(Also a couple issues were about mutants as a classic comic paper-thin metaphor for being gay (one issue was quite literally titled The Closet) that was, again, surprisingly good. Again, not great, but like way better than you'd expect from a product of its time and culture)

And then I got to the spider-girl equivalent of the clone saga. It was actually pretty neat. There's just one clone, and it never actually comes out and says who the clone is. So there's two May Parkers now. One is a clone and one isn't, big identity crisis dealie (and actually there's this abandoned idea where they both end up with both sets of memories at the same time and now they don't know whos the clone or who was the one raised by the parkers and who was left in a french tube for 16 years). Neat. then peter becomes the green goblin for a minute and they fight A Battle In The Mind Palace, which is weird but fine. (Oddly, the green goblin is way more accepting of the concept of having two daughters than peter. He even calls peter out on it?)

But then we get to the fun part. Both of the Mays survive, and one of them, who we're gonna call April (even though she doesn't name herself that for a few issues after this) for simplicity's sake, has cool symbiote powers, was basically born yesterday, and doesn't quite understand the concept of empathy. In other words, a home run character. She's even fucking Blue! Fucking bang up job, lads, we got an all time classic!

And then we get to that classic angst. Like i said earlier, peter is not on board with the concept of having two daughters. But may is like "can we keep her?" and the other options are letting an emotionally unstable Blue girl out into the world unsupervised (unacceptable) or just... i dunno, killing her? So clearly he has to keep april in his house. He fuckin hates her for it though. Like shit dude, the unearned hostility. And may is trying (not quite as hard as she could be but trying nonetheless) to give april a normal-adjacent home life and a loving family (something that I believe all humans freshly spawned from french tubes deserve). MJ's sorta in the middle, doing that token mom thing of being like "yeah!" and then not actually doing anything to help. So april is stuck in this loop of a family that at best tolerates her and at worst actively despises her (and since she has memories from may she's watching the family she remembers loving her for her whole life doing this to her). In fact, she chooses her name out of spite because she feels like everyone sees her as an inferior copy of the girl they actually care about (april comes before may).

I mean, this is great. You've really what looks to be a great character. So I was utterly devastated to learn that she Goes Insane From The Stress and becomes a villain. However, she Learns The Value Of Love later on and sacrifices herself to save may in a typical comic redemption arc.

:(

So, normally, if you don't like how a thing went in a popular story (especially something modern), you could reasonably expect to see some people agree with you. Some of them might even be good writers. That's when the magic happens. So I look on Archive Of Our Own, and what do I find, dear reader--what do I find? Nothing.

Worse than nothing, actually, I find several father-daughter incest smut fics.

(To be fair, actually, I found one fic that covered some of this, but that was like 1k words long.)

In conclusion, shit is wack.

[fetus-cakes]

unsorted Aggretsuko season 5 thoughts (with plenty of spoilers) part 2

Sanrio is too fucking chickenshit to commit to the themes they themselves introduce

{@charlie-b-t  I didn’t see season 3 because the ending of season 2 bothered me so much

Season 1 ended a little oddly but I didn’t have enough info to form a strong conclusion I ended season 2 feeling as though the show was preaching conformity. The boss being the one to convince her to stay at work after being abusive towards her and completely jaded felt so Tonally wrong I didn’t wanna see a single other episode

And then Everyone said the feeling of season 3 was off, so I am satisfied with my decision The show makes me feel uneasy, like I’m being hunted, maybe a pleasant looking snack that if I sit down to eat a box will fall on my head}

Exactly, ultimately their goal is conformity

it's a show about a woman who is into death metal, but they make particular choices to make sure she doesn't stray from the path

{(charlie) It’s like… yeah you might like unusual things and be non traditional because times have changed but that’s no reason not to be a productive citizen. Don’t dream of stardom, don’t step too far out of line. Find a man to settle down with, work an honest job, you can try unusual things but ultimately the best thing to do is conform

Like she’s 100% gonna end the series right where she was at the first episode but she’ll be happy about it because she’ll realize there isn’t actually anything More out there

It felt very realistic that she ended up in so many miserable situations but in the end it feels like that was a trick against the viewers.}

I would have been okay with an ending in which she's married and pregnant but only AFTER she has character development where she learns marriage is about having a partner that you trust and not just an escape from a tedious job

{season 1 " i wanna get married only so i can quit my job'

her season 2 boyfriend: quit your job and ill take care of you, but i don’t believe in marriage retsuko, suddenly: if you wont marry me then you arent really serious about me so ill go back to my job

it felt like the tone of the show was that she was looking for shortcuts and she should keep her head down and work at an unfulfilling job and then eventually become a housewife that works at an unfullfilling job

it didnt feel like it really matched her personality or wants. they had not previously established that she had a connectino to the concept of marriage outside of a way to quit work}

yeah her dreams of marriage and kids should have been developed better! She could have evolved to see marriage as an escape or just "something adults are supposed to do" When she broke up with Tadano would have been the PERFECT to show her inner thoughts on this too bad they expect us to swallow that marriage has been important to her all along, even though her feelings in the first season were clearly about escapism

The reason she hated her job in the first season is because working for a living in general sucks and her boss was shitty; as the seasons passed her boss gained some character development and became less shitty, but the show never addressed how she felt about the tedium of working for such a large company after that character development

she clearly likes accounting and it's more than just a job she took to pay rent

she had an opportunity in the first season to quit her secure, stable job to help with the accounting of her friend's little import shop, but it was super risky and in the end Retsuko stayed at her job for the financial stability

it's not a bad choice to make! just like breaking up with Tadano because he has different goals about marriage and children is not a bad decision either

but both times the showrunners failed to tell us how Retsuko feels

does she still resent her job? does she appreciate it more? has she given deeper thought about what marriage means to her now that she found a partner that's super compatible but is non traditional? there's hints and implications but I really wish they would spell out some of these things

{exactly, they don’t tell us which makes it feel like the show thinks 'this is obvious'

and its in contrast to them normally showing us exactly how she feels about everything, but whenever its time to conform she has no thoughts about it}

[meowstix]

Despite MFB's selling point being "more metal for everyone" (y'know, Metal Fight Beyblade), it was the only series to ever release beys with no metal

So early into Metal Fusion, they realized they didn't have much variety with fusion wheels. Every bey was using the same handful of them, and players were getting tired of having half a dozen of the same wheel. Takara Tomy recognized this, and made light wheels. Basically, beys where the fusion wheel was replaced with a plastic variant of the same shape. This would drive down production costs, and the beys were sold for around half the price of beys with metal

Three light wheel beys appeared in the anime: Mad Cancer, Wind Aquario, and Clay Aries. Since Hasbro never made light wheels, the dub renamed them to Storm Aquario and Rock Aries. Mad Cancer was changed to Mad Gasher for unrelated reasons, and while it was released as Dark Gasher, the anime kept it as Mad for plot reasons

MFB's localization as a whole was weird. It was pretty faithful to the original material, but also oddly inconsistent when it came to name changes (Killer and Hell get renamed but Death and Diablo don't. The dub keeps the special move Beautiful Dead and the line "[spoiler] will die," but the move Venom Genocide gets changed to Venom Strike)

how much HAS the whole existing-to-sell-some-toys thing impacted the show, actually? clearly in bakuten shoot the creators just kind of Went Ham and from what i've heard burst is. KIND OF VERY FUCKED UP, so i gotta wonder if the toyline side of things and the anime/manga side of things just don't really like. get involved with eachother all that much

[wack-ashimself]

I am beginning to theorize that the lines between imagination, dreams, reality and un/subconscious are constantly in flux. Blurring the lines to the point where one is not clearly identifiable from one another. I say this because my dreams have only gotten more vivid and random. And there's so many aspects that I am like 'I haven't thought about that ever/in years' so it appearing unprovoked just DOES NOT MAKE FUCKING SENSE. It doesn't help that either I'm lazy or sickly adaptable because in dreams...I almost always go with the flow, even if it makes absolutely no logic what so ever. I'll TRY to tell you my dream. (and all the psychological bs is guesswork at best).

It was summer. My parents decided to take all of us to a park for camping WAY down south. Outside of a trip around the us when I was in my teens, I have never been this far south (nor did I recognize it). It was past my friend mike's house, so I asked if he could join. They didn't care. Then this is where it got weird....

First of all (I have this happen in almost ALL dreams where it's with people I know) I never 'saw' my family (or friend). I 'felt' them. Like energy/vibes. I didn't see them, but I could FEEL they were around (doing their own thing) and that's enough for me. Oddly, the other randoms in my dream I DID see, and I had no idea who they were.

Second of all, I extremely rarely dream of animals. Of any kind. It's usually trees and water and shit. But this time my parents mean old cat, who IRL is at death's door, was brought. And he hated every moment, BUT, he wanted to be there. Kinda like real life. lol Again, I didn't see him, but the energy of him was there. I have had dreams where I DO see them, they do NOT look like I thought, but their energy was similar to someone I did know, so I knew I could trust them.

Most of the dream I was lazing about, relaxing. Even sleeping (I have been sleeping in dreams and...it's weird. To feel like you are asleep, wake up, still be tired AND still be dreaming.) At one point I was lazing about, middle of a park in a field (I want to say in a wheel barrel)....and....(this made me uncomfy cuz I never have dream product placements) 2 food delivery people (walking. No bikes or car) delivered fucking PERSONAL (the tiny ones) papa johns pizza (I am not a fan) to 2 random people. One was a WAY too happy to be eating fucking papa johns young black man (race, let alone sex or gender, is almost NEVER in my dreams. It's mostly energy). And also an old white (homeless?) lady who looked messy....and would not stop starring at me till I acknowledged she got her food. Like she was starring me down out of the corner of my eye, in a weird creepy way, and wouldn't MOVE till I looked at her. Like I had to stare back to which she smiled and wondered off.

That stressed me out (papa johns and the creepy lady. I Know at least in part when I'm dreaming, and I hate seeing things that I don't even want to see in real life) so I went to find my friend we picked up. Here's the weird part: i remember us picking him up, but then never seeing him again. I was freaking out again: I was being a bad friend. I ditched him. So I go to look for him to ask him when he needs to get home.

Then it got really fucking weird.....

it wasn't my friend.

It was the last woman I kissed and had sex with (who I do not talk to or think about. Our interactions happened over 10 years ago....).

And I get maybe why she was there: she was the last female I was that vulnerable with (she was more like the guy than I was; aka that is why it didn't work out. Actually, I am usually the more emotional one in all of my relationships).

The reason this was weird was 2 points.

1-she acted like we were in love, had been dating for years, and acted....like the girlfriend I always deserved, not the one I got cuz I was a side piece.

2-IT FELT REAL. Like I do not deny I have numbed myself to the fact I may die alone, single. And yeah, that sucks. I don't want that, but I ain't going to ruin the rest of my life feeling lonely and sad for myself, spending every aching moment to 'fill that void'. I find that pathetic. But I'll tell you...in my dreams, I feel things I forgot I could feel. Love. Connection. Trust. Unity. Soul mates. Those are things you can never fake or buy or imagine; you either have them or your don't.

But that whole thing freaked me out, and made me kinda sad cuz I knew that feeling would be gone when I awakened, however, I did want to remember this, even tho it was a dream, so I forced myself awake...

and here we are....or at least I am...