#being perceived is the worst sometimes
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Sometimes I think about the grief inherent in the experience for some of us who are genderqueer and/or non-binary and trans. Not just the vague, unexplored grief, but the aware, understood grief and longing as it relates to being embodied. There is pain just in feeling, but there is a deeper pain in knowing.
I think many trans people understand and grapple with the sense of an embodiment that fails to accomplish what the person wants at all times. Whether this is the embodiment that fails through not being right in some way, the embodiment that is never legible, embodiment that is right inconsistently and may only work when recognized by others correctly, the embodiment that is right sometimes and wrong at others, the embodiment that is too much or too little. The people fighting with, altering, and developing their embodiment and the liminal spaces that exist in that journey. The trans individuals whose embodiment needs to change but lack access. Those whose access is tentative and conditional. Those whose bodies do not respond conventionally to intervention, or whose personal response to conventional changes is unexpected. Those for whom the changes are not the purest embodiment that they want, but are better than the unaltered alternative. The list could go on and on. Which is not to say that trans people are necessarily at odds with their embodiment at all or have to be that way in order to be trans; I think the only consistency within identity categories is inconsistency. We are just a coalition of people reaching out for connection and solidarity.
But some of us, regardless of accessibility, cannot make use of anything that is available to us now. Some of us have needs (embodiment-specific, other factors for our minds and bodies) that are fundamentally at odds with the reality of medicine or assistive technologies, and it is unlikely to change enough within our lifetimes. For some of us, it is not the scaremongering about HRT or affirmative surgeries, normative beauty and body standards, the emotional, physical, financial cost. We've maybe experimented with hormones, researched the surgeries, tried out some of the available technologies, considered the options, processed and agonized and wondered and dreamed, and found them all fundamentally at odds with the ways we can best tolerate any embodiment. We may feel failed by all of this, and failed even by communities like trans and queer communities, which quite rightly want to give space to the successes and the ways in which change has helped them be happier, be more themselves. People should be able to be happy in claiming and rewriting their bodies in ways that make them happy; making space for other responses is not betrayal.
It's alright to mourn what cannot be, to recognize the ways in which your society, your communities, available technology, the understanding of your loved ones, the experiences you have had and those available to you, access to funding, the limitations of body and mind, and the ways in which you must approach your life for any reason are unable to meet all your needs for embodiment. It's okay to recognize the impossible and allow yourself to experience the grief rather than sublimate it into some other emotion, to shove it down because it will not do you any good to only live your grief, to be happy for others who are able to carve out an embodiment that works and not sully their happiness or ease with their bodies.
Maybe it is a grief unacknowledged, or unanswered, or impossible to let completely go. Maybe it is hard to accept, when many of us may be better off or worse off than others we are in community with. Maybe even body neutrality cannot help us. Maybe it is negotiated through other identities that add complexity, rage, beauty, joy to our embodiment in some way. Maybe it is all we can do to work towards some form of acceptance and life as we can make it, and not uncontested, uncomplicated joy in our embodiment.
We can struggle with that embodiment, that tension, that wrongness unnamed and it doesn't make us wrong. We are not wrong. You are not wrong, and if you ever felt unrecognized and unseen, I see you.
#transition angst#dysphoria#tw dysphoria#transgender#genderqueer#non-binary#queer#love letters to tnb+ people#i have been thinking about this so much lately#being embodied is the worst sometimes#being perceived is the worst sometimes#but i'm trying
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#at some point you make peace with the fact that that's harry’s image#he is a womanizer#but god why do these stunts always have to be with the worst people ever????#i know next to nothing about her but i’ve seen the news about her and her latest dates#so it’s easy to assume she is not good news#but i really try to understand what’s their goal (and by their i mean harry himself and his team)#honestly after the mess that it was dwd and also holivia#and the way his comment about gay sex backlashed like so badly#and also after his grammy speech not being well received#i’d assume the best thing right now would be to keep things low and quiet#like he’s only touring right now nothing to promote nothing to be relevant about#so why not keep it this way#i just would think sometimes that would be for the best??? at least just for a little while#i guess i can answer my own question by saying they’re trying to keep his name relevant and keep people talking about him#just keeping his name in the news#so people don’t forget about him or whatever#maybe i’m being naive but not all press is good press#that’s more than clear now after how much hate he’s gotten in the last 7/8 months#so why do they always go back to the same route??#we are all tired - not just his fans - but every single person that’s perceiving harry is tired#people start to resent anyone who is in the media for too long#specially if said person keeps giving you reason to maybe not like them#i’m not even angry or feeling anything really - by now i’m used to it#but you can’t tell me that the same M.O. over and over and over and over again is good#this formula has already proven (many times!!!) to not always being the right answer#like seriously what's their goal?? because harry being a womanizer is more than well established by now#i don't think we need 'proof' of it for people to say 'oh it's just an excuse for the storyline of the next album'#we actually don't need any kind of proof anymore for the rumors to exist lmao#i guess all of this is me saying that i really wish i could have the answers i'll never actually have#anyway rant over i said nothing new goodnight
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#have the worst anxiety right now#like sorry i made 1 vague post about a person that wasn’t at all serious#but like i didn’t mention anyone by name and i never would#it’s okay not to like people btw especially if you have what you perceive to be a negative interaction#i’m literally a human being with my own problems and sometimes i say things without really meaning it or in the wrong way#i’ve tried so hard to be better like so hard#trust me if you were here for me in 2019/20 you would see how much i’ve grown as a person on this platform#anyway i’m sorry if i hurt anyones feelings#i’ll probably just log off for the night cos it’s really not worth the anxiety right now
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You there early 2000s gg manga artist write a joke involving testament that does not make me want to attack you like an animal
#THEYRE NOT ALL BAD there are funny testament bits. but well. The Gender is kind of an easy target.#sometimes those are even a little funny. like KIND OF. in hindsight if nothing else.#overall they trouble me less than some jokes about them and dizzy. i dont want to get into that though.#in theory its not the WORST thing ever I GUESS its just. the way people go about it. yknow. unless you dont. im happy for you if you dont#many cases of they would not fucking say that but well it doesnt only happen to them its okay. well its not but you know what i mean#WHATEVER even 1 million jokes abt testament being a creep (usually more like just being Perceived as a creep I GUESS THATS BETTER?)#could never overpower dizzy saying testament is like an older (sibling) to her in a ggx anthology chapter.#literally shout out memaiso. my hero.#they also did some 4koma stuff involving them being very parentlike to her. i can think of 3 off the top of my head. thats good for me.#okay thanks i just needed to complain.#the kat goes meow#gg
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#one of the most annoying parts of having bpd isn’t even part of the bpd itself but it's the stigma#and don’t get me wrong this shit is FUCKING HELL and very hard and embarrassing#but the way people think bpd is somehow the same thing as sociopathy or psychopathy is just like ??????????????#and the way even doctors are so sensationalist about it and it does affect your overall hope for how you're gonna be able to#idk navigate life with it. because they make it look like someone who has bpd#is just the worst most difficult and awful human being on earth#like everyone else isn't difficult everyone else doesn't struggle w emotions or relationships or abandonment#and the way they approach it truly makes you feel like you're damaged for life and you're broken and you're doomed#i could go on and on about how this is just upsetting and like sometimes when people learn that i have bpd they're surprised#because i keep a lot of things and feelings to myself because i don't want to be the stereotype#i'm venting but what i mean is that i think the stigma around bpd just makes everything harder#for instance i feel the need to be centred because otherwise i'll be perceived as a bpd stereotype#so i can't get angry i can't get upset i can't get sad i can't miss someone i can't need someone#i can't fear not having someone in my life anymore i can't fear being alone and so on#i have to be manageable and cool and nonchalant and complaisant all the time#sometimes i feel like i'm not allowed to be a person BECAUSE i have bpd#but yeah i'm yet to learn to not give a shit about how people perceive me but there are days that this is harder than others
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spider in room but everyone else is asleep so no one can help me :/ panic time i guess lol
#having scary things in my room is fun because i get to play the game of “which phobia am i MORE scared of: being around lifelong phobia of#mine OR the phobia of leaving my room and risking Being Perceived”#right now it’s the second one :/ which is pretty funny given that every else is fucking ASLEEP so there’s your proof that phobias can be#SUPER irrational lmao#but also my arachnophobia isn’t the worst like I’ll avoid places where spiders were near recently but i can still sometimes watch videos of#them sooo. yay for me lol? this isn’t true for other bugs (yes ik spiders aren’t bugs but my phobias don’t) which sucks for me because the#second most scary one is viewed as beautiful by most people and so many people love them. noooooo thank you. number one most scary aren’t#talked about but idk why they’re super common. and terrifying and OUT TO FUCKING GET ME. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS RUN *AT* ME#bugs love me. if i think about their existence too much i will have a panic attack. this is not a good relationship.#except for silk moths specifically. Ive never seen one irl and are still a little scared but i have a dnd character who loves them so same#ALSO BEES. I love bees. Not scared at all beyond like a normal reasonable “don’t fuck with them” kinda thing. bees are great i love bees#most of the stingy ones I’m ok with individually actually. i dislike the massive loud swarms of them but on their own they’re cute lol#(also to the bug and/or spider lovers i am not a kill bugs kinda person if this is worded weirdly that is because I’m having a fucking pani#attack please be nice)
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A couple of the nurses on my unit are doing a study on moral distress, so at least one shift a week they’ll pass out surveys to rank how morally distressed you’re feeling and why. Monday night was one such night (when I was caring for the very sick baby in my last post). I was very busy and barely had time to sit and chart for longer than 20mins at a stretch. The nurse came up to me at the end of the shift, “George, did you get a chance to fill out your survey?” She knew full well that I hadn’t.
Me, “Sure fucking didn’t.” and I handed back the blank survey to her. She just laughed and walked away with it.
#nurblr#nicu#moral distress#it can be hard caring for these kids#especially ones that we perceive to have no or very low quality of life#or a futile hospitalization#we actually had quite a few deaths recently#but as a level IV NICU we get the worst of the worst#nurses will come here after working at lower level NICUs and see stuff they didn't even know was possible#lots of things can go wrong as a baby is being formed#sometimes the pregnant person's body will recognize this and cause a miscarriage#but other times they will carry to viability#and if they make it through birth they become our responsibility#i understand parents wanting to give their child the best possible chance#but there are many circumstances where I just feel like I'm torturing this kid for what will be their whole very short life
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Astrology Observations II
。:゚૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ゚:。
Disclaimer, these are observations I have made through personal experience and thorough research, observations also vary depending on other natal placements involved
doesn’t resonate ≠ untrue
♅ Virgos tend to represent the trad wife far more than people assume taurus does, and that’s because Virgos ability to uphold their life (at least on the outside) tend to attract men who want a wife that can keep them on track
Some Virgo women tend to also attract gay men unfortunately 😭, again I think Virgos just seem like the perfect trad Wife and it will attract closeted men like flies. This isn’t to say all your partners will be closeted but the ones who are overly aggressive on your role in the relationship might be.
♅ Gemini moon children develop QUICKLY. These are usually the kids who weird you out with their extensive knowledge and self awareness that seemingly comes out of nowhere. The mercury influence allows them to digest many topics which in turn has Gemini moon children mentally developing at a faster pace than their peers
I’ve also observed Gemini moons are those annoying kids in your class that are a lot smarter and a bit condescending to others intelligence, not because that’s just the way they are, but their mercurial moon needs constant stimulation, and with a combination of their rapid growth you’ll see them climbing academic ranks which in turn can make them dislike school if they are not progressing at a speed they like.
♅ Scorpio moons have a tendency to see the worst in every situation/person which can be a nasty habit, but this isn’t out of judgment, rather they don’t like to give people the benefit of the doubt. They don’t like to be screwed over and their best bet is to think of the worst scenario possible.
♅ Aquarius Venus who are flaky in relationships and constantly cheat will eventually have karma handed back to them, usually in the form of being in their mid 40’s still single.
Aquarius Venus flaky reputation does stem from the fact that it is a Saturn influenced placement, as well as being fixed. It’s not that they hate any type of restriction to their freedom but rather to what extent you restrict them to. They can and will jump quickly into relationships but if they see any glimpse of possessive or controlling attributes they will leave. Again because it’s fixed and Saturn influenced Aquarius Venus knows once it settles down that’s it, they’re not going anywhere, that’s why they’re so scattered to find the right person who fits their criteria.
♅ Moon/Sun harshly aspecting Neptune is the embodiment of “I hate my Mom/Dad, but I love her/him too”. Neptune harshly aspecting these planets can cause a huge wall of misunderstanding between parent and child, but Neptune blurs the lines so deep that the individual sees them “through rose colored glasses” and if incapable of harboring hate. I would even say there could be nights where these people will look back and remember their past relationships (Neptune = Dreams)
♅ 10h placements can sometimes struggle maintaining relationships due to the very contradicting nature of the Midheaven and ascendant. Usually people will perceive them to be very different from who they actually are.
This is also why they struggle with their self esteem (the natural square to the ascendant). Sometimes they feel like they need to keep up an image to satisfy others and that isn’t someone who they truly are 🥲
In synastry this also points to partners trying to change who they are/make choices for them because they think it’s “for the best” or “what’s good for them”.
♅ Every Virgo rising I’ve met always gives me a small lesson on why astrology isn’t real but follow up with a “but can you read my chart I want to see if it’s true 👀”. I truly believe it’s the 12h Leo which makes them secretly a little self centered (hence the interest for things like astrology to attempt and figure themselves out) but the mercurial ascendant will always make them skeptical 😭
♅ Saturn conjunct Jupiter natives is a dangerous fire sometimes. I’ve noticed if they haven’t learned to balance this aspect in their chart, the people around them can suffer their warm and cold attitude. It’s almost as if one second you could be hysterically laughing in class together, and the next second they immediately stop and ask you to be serious and finish your work. WHERE DID THE VIBE GOOO?? The key here is moderation in whichever sign/house this is in
♅ Whoever said Neptune in hard aspect to Venus needs to practice saying positive affirmations (especially to Venus related topics) to themselves in the mirror was SO correct. Neptune indeed does reflect lies to you and reaffirming yourself in the mirror breaks that spell. I don’t think I’ve felt so beautiful since I started doing this.
#astrology#astrology observations#synastry#scorpio moon#neptune aspects#jupiter aspects#saturn aspects#aquarius venus#gemini moon#virgo rising#virgo#astro notes#astroblr
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I'm new to this blog, what's dream lamb and dream narinder?? They're cool but I do not understand I wish to comprehend
Dream Lamb (And Dream Narinder) is exactly as the name implies; dream versions of the counterpart that only appears within Narinder's (Or Lambert's) dreams at night.
They are a visual manifestation of the subconscious, they are not real individuals. They can reflect what Narinder/Lamb's true feelings are about something/someone, or torment them about things that they perceive to be true.
One example is that Dream Lamb often makes Narinder remember how fondly he thinks of the Lamb ("You think of them so poetically" + all prior friendship he had with them in the gateway) or pointing out how his words contradict his actions; behaving and believing them to be a traitor and insufferable but doing things of his own will (resurrecting the crab, not killing their flock because it makes them upset, allowing Leshy to live, ect ect).
Dream Lamb ALSO points out the complicated feelings with his siblings; ie reminding him of how he used to help raise his youngers, and the mixture of emotions he feels towards individuals who he claims he despises.
Dream Narinder (Who is not into written form yet and is only in comic form as of this post) who instead of tormenting the dreamer with confrontation of feelings being denied, instead sews doubt and guilt. The Lamb feels even though they stayed true to themselves, they cannot help but feel like their perceived betrayal has damaged the friendship between them and Narinder beyond repair. Despite that grief for the loss of friendship, they'll accept what little companionship they can have from their best friend left over.
Dream Narinder fuels on this, often echoing their worst fears and worries ('You've done a good job as my vessel, so I no longer have a need for you.") So he acts non-nonchalant and often mocking/teasing, or even indulgent with the acknowledgment that none of it is real. Where as Dream Lamb confronts Narinder with feelings he's wanting to push back, Dream Narinder goes the opposite route, and calmly and casually reinforces what they believe to be the reality.
Dream Lamb represents Denial of the Truth, While Dream Narinder is the Acceptance of a Lie.
However,
Because they are corrupted visuals of the subconscious, but still their subconscious nonetheless, this means that these behaviors can change or be different depending on how the dreamer thinks/feels, and how they're processing their emotions in relation to something. Especially when they're confronting it.
In other words, the closer Narinder gets to accepting his feelings and understanding the Lamb's reasoning for their 'betrayal', and the closer the Lamb gets to realizing Narinder's care for them still persists, the more accurate and truer the dreams become.
Like in this comic, where Dream Narinder is tormenting the Lamb, but after their snap back that Narinder would not say something so cruel to them, despite his outward attitude, they are practically rewarded with a praise for it.
For Dream Narinder specifically, his eye remains closed....but opens a little more the closer and closer the Lamb gets to believing how Narinder truly feels about them, whether the real cat has accepted it or not.
As for Dream Lamb, they go from being very aggressive about their confrontation to something more docile, eventually as Narinder starts to process everything.
Another thing: the Dreams are linked. Not always, but they have to be on the same...wavelength for it. An understanding, perhaps. But they do affect each other, sometimes.
The dreams can be nice too, depending. That's why they're not always nightmarish. Meaning, with enough push and pull, eventually:
Why all of this dream and nightmare stuff is happening? Yet to be revealed.
Remember guys if you avoid your feelings in real life they might hunt you down in your dreams, and possibly bluetooth you to the object of your affections dreams as well if you're nice about it
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#6 Astrology Observations
People with 2nd house stellium are generous but also protective with their resources. Like the more you show them that you want/need their help, the more they will withhold it from you
People with prominent Leo placements in natal chart have such sensitive ego, like the moment you make them feel like they are less important, they will remember that sh*t forever
Although, ironically, Leo placements are really good in boosting someone else's ego as well
Aquarius people are the funniest people I've ever met. They can be so loving and caring but in a light-hearted way
Prominent Saturn placement in composite chart have feel like one of you will be looked up to, almost like a parent or teacher. This also works in synastry chart
In my experience, Virgos always have that selfish streak about them. Makes me want to kind of gatekeep certain things from them lol
In my life, a lot of Sagittarius women fell for Cancer men so much??? It's weird though, because I always perceive Sagittarius women as this ambitious, freedom-seeking, and sometimes even reckless in their emotional expression. But they ended up baby-ing these Cancer men
North node conjunct Chiron in composite chart is very karmic and hurtful, at least that's my experience. It's like the universe will forced the both of you to grow and change, face your deepest fears and even the worst version of yourselves.
Mars in 8th house composite: The Jealous Couple. The moment some b*tch tried to touch / talk to their significant other inappropriately, all hell breaks loose. Just don't. Even the most chill couple I know just won't sit quietly, they will fight with you. And don't get me wrong, this isn't about one person gets jealous of the other. It's both. Both of them have this attitude towards the relationship
Lilith in 1st house composite, both become each other's sexiest and darkest fantasies
I feel like a lot of people are obsessed with 8th house synastry. People actually imagined it to be this hades/persephone type sh*t where one person is obsessed with the other -reminds me of those creepy booktok girls who fantasize about getting kidnapped by handsome dude. While in real life, 8th house synastry can be so emotionally abusive and the worst part is, not one person in this person meant any harm or even have the obsessive qualities before this relationship. Which is why some people talk about this placement as if the people in it is "losing themselves", because they do might be changed, but not always for the better. Or at least, these people will be the worst version of themselves before they get better. In real life, if you have s*icidal tendencies or depression, this type of relationship can trigger you so much. Oftentimes, this person that you have 8th house synastry with represents both your insecurities and desire
There's something about Pisceans that somehow seems like "the perfect victim" with how passive and innocent they are, only later people discover how they hate feeling trapped or abused in anyway. The moment they feel slighted, they will remember it forever however due to their somewhat light-hearted and dreamy nature, they seems to forget about it so easily but they aren't. It's only a matter of time before they leave. Somehow, some way, with their passivity, it seems to others that they will just "accept" whatever treatment from others, but then you notice with time, they will be withdrawn and avoid you little by little. Piscesan reminds me sooooo much of Sagittarius (and yes both are ruled by Jupiter, which represents expansion) so the idea that they're this harmless, passive, innocent little baby who will stay there no matter what is so not true. They will avoid confrontation and will not argue with you about how wrong you treated them, but they will find an escape route
Sagittarius women really out there being the baddies and somehow fall for questionable men 😃
Venus in 7th house in the Solar Return Chart does not always means that you will find love that year. It could also means that justice will be in your favor
Those people with placements that aligns with your mercury sign can help balance your mental health
I'm not even sure if I've written this before, but all water signs are equally vindictive. They don't ever forget sh*t you did to them, especially the girls
Scorpios, especially the males, are attracted to dark, dangerous personalities, probably because in some sense they recognized that characteristics within themselves. However, once they become the said victims of those dark personalities, they will become too spiritual/religious, or further affected their narrow-mindedness (if they are already narrow-minded) and those who aren't narrow-minded initially, they will start to become one. They can even turn hateful. This is because in my opinion, like most water signs, they are can be prone to naivety. They genuinely thought that these dark personalities will do harm to others, but somehow not to them because they too recognized these characteristics in them. But these dark personalities, or just messed up people are not picky about their victims, they just victimize anyone in their way. This can create power struggles in the relationship or make the relationship too transactional because Scorpios will want to overpower the other, and would rather stay in this relationship (until they win the war, or get even, revengeful, etc) than to just stay the f away from these toxic relationships. This can create harmful patterns in their behavior where future relationships with others/new lovers will be filled with manipulations and "tactics" rather than sincerity
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I’ve noticed with a lot of my original characters that I seem to self insert a small aspect of myself into each of them and then I wonder if it’s obvious to everyone else or if it’s just me.
And then I remember that I don’t post any of my art and there’s literally nothing for anyone to see so that takes care of that problem.
Now I’ve created a new problem by admitting all my oc’s are self inserts
#or is it a problem?#idk I think too much sometimes#literally can’t ever turn my brain off#anyways I do have some art I’ll be posting soon#my mutual has been on my ass about it#they’re right to be of course#bc not posting is dumb#but i’m trying#even if being perceived is the absolute worst#payper notes#artist problems
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I think Wade Wilson is way more intelligent than people give him credit for. Or, another character essay no one asked for :
This will be based both on comics and movies. Also, spoilers for Deadpool and Wolverine.
I think it's often said that Wade doesn't know how to read situations, as he often acts inappropriately during them. He doesn't seem to sense the mood of the person he's talking to, angering them more often than not, and he doesn't really care about watching his mouth around children, etc. There are tons of examples of Wade being 'stupid', and 'immature', blah blah blah. But I don't think that's quite true.
Wade has also numerous moments where he perfectly reads a situation. He is extremely aware of how others may perceive his scars, he figured Negasonic Teenage Warhead pretty easily during the first movie (when talking about sarcastic comments or whatever, if I remember correctly). He knows how people act and think, and he definitely knows how to assess a situation. When he got Johnny Storm killed, he knew what he was doing. He was into a dangerous situations, just having been kidnapped and he couldn't fight, not even knowing how strong and what powers Cassandra Nova had. But by turning her against Johnny, not only was he able to assess her, but also prove that he wasn't here to cause her trouble. It was a cruel and ruthless action, but it was smart nonetheless.
Besides, people often forgets very important facts about his skills. Wade is an extremely good fighter, and that's partially due to the fact that he's a master at almost every martial arts. He knows a bunch of them, and he is capable of practicing them with impeccable form. He's also a master at espionage, infiltrations, cover missions, etc. He knows how to handle a lot of different weapons, and he is canonically one of the best fighters in the entire Marvel Universe. All of those skills require a certain level of intelligence. Fighting demands to remember the different styles and techniques, as well as enough practice to switch between them easily. Espionage, infiltration, and cover missions demand someone who is capable of discretion and and ability to judge a situation, notice details that no one else would and invent on the spot creative ways to do things. All in all, he has to be extremely smart to be able to do all of that. That's also without counting the fact that he knows how to speak fluently five different languages.
With all of these proofs, it's impossible to say that Wade is dumb. But why does he acts like it?
There is no official answer as to why Wade is this way. The most you can get is that he is extremely mentally unstable. This is the result of both a bad childhood and very traumatizing experiences as a superhero. It is said he was already mentally unstable during his childhood, so I'm inclined to believe that it also has something to do with his brain in general.
What I personally believe is that Wade is someone who gets bored extremely easily. He has ADHD (not really official in the movies, but canon in the comics), and he always seems to jump from one topic to the other. His mind is often considered a mess, and he himself sometimes has trouble keeping up with it. I think that someone like him has to be stimulated at all times, because boredom is definitely the worst thing that could happen to him. Even in the last movie, he seemed to hate his job because of how boring it was, not hesitating to go back into action and becoming more and more himself again as he just do exciting things. He has always been like this, even before he got his regenerating factor. When he did his job, he wasn't always careful and often loud-mouthed. It didn't interest him to just kill people, he wanted a fight. He wanted a back and forth, a sort of game. He needs to feel in danger, needs the thrill of it.
But then he gets his mutation. Suddenly, he can't die, he can't be seriously hurt, nothing has any real consequences. And so the games became boring. What is the point of putting himself in dangerous situations if he's never really in danger? How boring it is to do a job where you're perfectly safe? The only kind of thrill he can find anymore is by having the back and forth verbally. That's when it has consequences, and people actually able to surprise him, to beat him even. Attacking by talking his is one way to not feel bored. He surprises, he shocks, he annoys, but it's always different. Even during the last movie, when he was with Logan, he clearly said they didn't need to fight, yet he couldn't stop edging him verbally, always finding ways to push his buttons.
Wade is a very bored person, with a great understanding of where the limits are. And because he's so good at finding the limits, he's even better at crossing them willingly, sometimes at the expanse of the people he loves, because he can't be bored.
(I also like the interpretation of him just needing to be at the centre of attention, but I think it's a bit more classical and has already been done and re-done. So, this one is a bit trickier and way funnier for me.)
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OO, how would jouno(you can also add whoever you want but JOUNO HEHZGEZGE i love him sm omg) be w an S/o who is very much stuck in the "crush phase", like giggling, blushing, smiling, hiding their face, and everything
a/n: this is such a cute idea 😵💫 !! def how i’d act around jouno too like oh my!!!! i also added tecchou cuz how could i not
warnings: none
(Jouno, Tecchou) With a S/O Stuck in the Crush Phase
Jouno
he def acts all annoyed but secretly loves this shit
jouno can already tell that u still get nervous and excited to see him by the sounds of your heartbeat 😭
but it warms his heart (something we all thought was impossible) that you aren’t ashamed to hide these actions
bro can’t even walk by you without u getting all flustered and hiding ur face…which is valid bc jouno is very pretty !
but he’ll sigh and shake his head, telling u to “stop being dramatic” 😭
^dw he is very much being lighthearted here and doesn’t entirely mean that!! jouno is just…not used to this kind of reaction to his presence so it throws him off a bit
the worst is when u do this shit in public 💀
^y’all will go to the store together and he leans over u to grab something off a high shelf…needless to say u are blushing and giggling like crazy (I WOULD TOO!!)
jouno gets all embarrassed and is like “STOP we are in public 😓”
which only makes it worse cuz he is so cute when he’s irritated
omfg the other hunting dogs def tease him about this 😭 tachihara practically follows jouno around asking how he can get ppl to act that way around him too??
but anyway. jouno abuses this power he has over u and purposefully does things to fluster u
^such as standing close to you, giving u random kisses, putting his arm around ur waist etc
may act like he hates it but the man has such a soft spot for u <3
Tecchou
tecchou genuinely does not fully understand how pretty he is nor the effect it has on u
he’s so tall…and strong…and OBLIVIOUS to how ur practically shaking next to him with how flustered u are
keeps asking if ur ok 💀 “are you sick, y/n? your face is all red”
gee i wonder why tecchou
whenever he bends down to kiss u, u get so nervous that you cover ur face with ur hands
he thinks this means u don’t want him to kiss u tho and is like “i’m sorry 😥”
you’re quick to explain that it’s just cuz u still get nervous around him!! but he can’t really fathom the effect he has on ppl so he’s a bit like ?????
^probably says some shit like “but i’ve literally seen u naked, why are you still nervous around me” 🫠
after awhile tecchou picks up on what is going on and sometimes messes with u to get a reaction
^holds ur face in his hands and just looks at u adoringly before giving u lots of kisses!!! u have to push him away cuz ur blushing so hard
plays it off SO WELL tho like you’d never know he’s doing this shit on purpose
i feel like tecchou was never someone to think much abt his physical appearance or how other ppl perceive him in that way, so ur reactions make him feel something new 🥹
#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#bsd x you#bsd hunting dogs#jouno hcs#jouno x y/n#jouno x reader#tecchou x you#tecchou x y/n#tecchou x reader#bsd tecchou#jouno bsd#jouno saigiku#tecchou suehiro#jouno x you#tecchou hcs#bsd hcs#bsd imagines#bsd scenarios#hunting dogs bsd
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My head canons for Sol Brugsmansia x chubby fem! reader!
TW for: Sexual content, Dubcon(?), stalker/yandere tendencies, mentioned violence, mentions of body issues, Somnophilia
SFW (TW for some mild violence)
- This man needs a girl who can be his pillow, so of course he sets his sights on you immediately
- He's the biggest slut for headpats, you could honestly bribe him to do so much by promising to pet him a bit
- Is there an article of clothing you want that isn't available in your size? He'll learn how to tailor them to your size, even if it's a bit shoddy at first
- If anyone were to ever insinuate that you aren't enough because of your weight... They might not be dead but they'll likely be pretty bloody
- He gets so sad when you feel bad about yourself, he'd just grab you and not let you go until you feel better
- He bites affectionately. He bites to get your attention. Sometimes he bites just to bite.
- When he gets jealous, he doesn't lash out at you at all. The worst he may do towards you is cry/beg. The only people he'd hurt in the situation are the people he perceives as a threat. Not you, his perfect girl.
NSFW
- He also bites to mark his territory while making out and having sex.
- He LOVES your curves, especially your boobs. He loves grabbing them and squishing them and kneading them and he loves when you wear a low cut shirt and lean forward in it
- He loves your ass more because he doesn't have to worry about you catching him staring as easily
- So, so so whiny and vocal. Especially when he's been staring at your body all day and has spent the majority of it hard in some capacity.
- Loves eating pussy so much. He'll pin you down and bury his face in between your thick thighs until you're teared up from overstimulation and he has a wet spot in his pants from cumming. If you two aren't together yet, he'll sneak into your room at night and eat you out in your sleep.
- Ideally if he had to die, he'd choose to do it by having your legs wrapped around his head until he suffocates
- Would make you cum from oral a number of times then have the best time sticking his tongue in your pussy to clean you up
- He really prefers being submissive or on equal footing with you in the bedroom. Ideally he's being used as your toy to get off, laying on his back to be ridden to completion, letting you control the situation.
- But when he does feel possessive. Angry. Jealous. It feels like a different person takes hold of him. He'll embarrass, threaten, or even eliminate whatever threat he sees to you two being together forever. After they've been taken care of how he sees fit, he'd find you and pound you until walking isn't a possibility the next day. He'll fuck you until your ass is red and your neck is a patchy-reddish purple and cum drips from your hole. If he somehow ever got your permission, he'd do it in front of the other person too. Make them see what they'd be up against if they even tried.
- And if you were being watched during, he's going into overdrive with the theatrics. It doesn't matter if he has to edge himself, overstimulate himself, or power through muscle pain and lack of breath, he'll do it so show how great of a partner he is.
- The added benefit to this for him is that you'll have no choice but to be taken care of by him at least for a short period of time. He'd happily feed you and bathe you and massage you as much as you need.
#sol brugmansia#the kid at the back vn#the kid at the back sol#The kid at the back#solivan brugmansia#solivan x reader#chubby reader#fem reader
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Journalism. Love your work Rosssy
this was sent after my bodyguardtom quick analysis last night and i giggled a bit, anon. thanks.
here's more journalism for you: after seeing other angles of what transpired, i have become more convinced rather than put off that how he reacted was justified.
Tom (which is funny because dude, you're also the client? lol) and Jack went ahead trying to clear the way for Z, thinking she was literally just behind. but the moment they were one step out of the way, the crowd immediately closed in on her.
which should not have happened because the right fan etiquette is that you line up on the sides and give the celebrity THEIR WAY so they could keep moving when they choose to. (even one of the paps was yelling, "give her space! guys, guys, give her space!") but that didn't happen. Z was literally BLOCKED from moving; she was not given that choice.
people were shoving things millimeters into her face. there was also some pushing going on, as evidenced by how this one pap's video got out of focus and panned from the subject to kingdom come at one point.
Jack had to duck down in order to get close to her again. Darnell was getting stressed trying to barricade her with his one arm.
the security assigned to her (i assume, because Jack was Tom's) was NOT on her. that guy also went ahead with Tom and Jack. you can see him protecting Tom instead when Jack went back for Z.
i'm assuming Tom turned around, did not see Z behind, panicked, and got pissed the moment he realized nobody was with her aside from Darnell. you can see he initially let Jack sort it out, but when the latter couldn't get Z out of it, that's when he really stepped in.
somebody started yelling, "pull back! pull back!" when Tom started bulldozing his way to her. they didn't. Tom had enough, told someone to "get out the f*cking way!" Z tried to tell him it's okay just to calm him down.
but let's be honest, that crowd would NOT have let up had he not pulled her out of there. they would've insisted on being accommodated till every last one was satisfied with a photo and an autograph. which, as she'd said time and time again, she has a hard time saying no to even with her boundaries and safety breached.
the way he reacted was how anyone who cares so fucking much for someone would've reacted in that kind of situation. it's just how, when you love someone, you become anxious about their well-being much more than yours. your mind races to all possible worst-case scenarios you could think of and try to prevent any of that from happening. we can joke it's like the spidey sense, but it's true: his body was on auto-pilot the moment he sensed a possible danger for her. he didn't think about himself or what it would look like for him, he just reacted—and acted—as fast as he could to get her out of that perceived danger.
and that, my friends, is just what love looks like sometimes.
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tastes | Marauders x Reader
Pairing: J.P. x S.B. x R.L x Female Reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: Smut, finger fucкing, oral (male receiving), P in V, lots of praise (especially from Remus), Sirius gets all the love he deserves, consent is sexy, lusty!boys, сreаm piе, they literally can't take their eyes off you.
Prompt: Inspired by the sense of taste. Reader has a very strong gag reflex, so the boys have never asked you to blow them, and you love them for it. But today, you want to taste them.
tastes is part of The Five Senses: an anthology series where each chapter will be a stand-alone story, inspired by the different ways we have of perceiving the world around us.
18+ readers only (smut under the cut)
Cum Feel The Noize
You had always had pretty strong gag reflex, just brushing your tongue while you brushed your teeth made you want to puкe sometimes, it wasn’t ideal, but it was what you were born with so you settled.
The boys knew, you’d been friends with them long before you started dating, and you had been pretty vocal about it, really, you were just so comfortable with them around that you didn’t mind talking about those things.
“What about sucking a dicк?” Sirius asked, half teasingly, half because he’d been genuinenly curious. He got elbowed by James after asking, but you just laughed.
“Nah, it’s fine,” you told James dismissively “In truth, I’ve never done that.”
“Never, ever? Not even the tip?” Asked James impressed, now curious as well. You shook your head as an answer.
“Not even when you dated that stupid Harland boy?” asked Remus. They all hated Harland because they all liked you, even then, a few months before you started all dating each other.
“Harland?” you asked in disbelief “Hell no! He asked a couple of times but, I just couldn’t do it,” you admitted “I really didn’t want to puкe all over his dicк.”
“Understandable,” Remus nodded.
“Yeah, you’d think. That’s why we broke up tho.”
“What? Shut up!” James said, almost standing straigther.
“No, it’s true!” you said with a nod “He said there were plenty other girls in the market, and that most of them would die just to get the chance to suck him off.”
“And what did you tell him?” Sirius asked.
“To fuck off,” you said with a laugh “didn’t even like him that much anyway,” you said with a sight, “But he’s so petty, he asked me to go see him in one of the abandoned classrooms to give me back some of my stuff, but he had just gotten a girl to blow him there. So when I arrived–”
James gasped, he had his mouth open wide, completely shocked.
“–Poor girl, she was so embarrassed ‘cause she thought we were still dating. Which in hindsight, probably makes is worse. Anyway, he tried to go after me and jinxed him.”
“We thought you stopped dating because he moved away.”
“Nope, he moved away because the girl told all her friends about it and gave him the worst reputation.”
Fast forward to now, you had been dating them for almost a year, and they had, never once, asked you to suck them off, not even by accident, which only made you love them even more, making you realize they truly listened, the difference abysmal between them and Harland, who’d asked hundreds of times, and your boys, who actually cared about you and your limits. And since they also had each other to have fun with it, neither of them missed out on getting blowjobs all that often either. Benefits of being in a poly relationship.
But the boys were always so caring, and so giving, both in and outside of the bedroom, that you really wanted to give back to them. In fact, seeing the way James sucked Remus once, made you want to test it yourself, mouth watering at the thought. You had done your research too, asked your friends about their techniques and paid a lot more attention when they were doing each other, making mental notes of the things they clearly liked and the things they didn’t. For the first time in your life, you actually wanted to try.
So, on Sirius’ birthday, you thought it’d be your chance. The boy had asked Peter for the room and he happily left the three of them to do their thing while going to bunk with his own girlfriend. Remus had been the one to pick you up at your room with the invisibility cloak that day.
“You ready luv?” he asked tenderly when you got out of your room, quickly enveloping you in the cloak as he stood behind you.
“Very ready,” you said with a little smirk, which had Remus raise one of his eyebrows. Did you plan something? That’s definitely your “I’ve planned something” tone.
He dipped his head in the crook of your neck and gave it a short whiff “You’re wearing Sirius’ favourite perfume,” he mouthed, you could feel his lips brushing against your skin, already sending warmth to your core. “What else?”
You smiled mischievously “Nothing else,” you admitted.
A rush of blood went straight to his cock when he heard you say that so confidently, and he finally peaked from his spot in your neck, looking through the thin white shirt you were wearing, he could see your nipple perking underneath the fabric, marking it ever so slightly. “Fuck, dove you’re such a tease.”
You shrugged, turning to press a kiss to his cheek, realizing how blown out his pupils were already, “You know how much Sirius loves it.”
He slid his hands under your skirt, only feeling the outside of your tight, all the way to your waist, as if trying to feel if you really had nothing underneath at the bottom. “Yeah, he’s not the only one,” he grunted, digging his digits a little, just below your pelvis. You pressed yourself to him a little more, realizing he was already getting turned on, even from such a short interaction, which only fueled you even more, turning completely around you wrapped your fingers on his neck and brought him down for a kiss. He complied, pushing you against a nearby wall as he kissed back, hands still extended above his head to keep the cloak covering the two of you. When you finally separated, you were both panting, his lips were already pink from the stimulation, and he brought one of his hands down to accommodate his pants, they were already making him uncomfortable.
“Come on handsome,” you told him with a smile, butting your bottom lip for a mere second and pulling at his bicep ever so slightly, “Why don’t we continue the party inside?”
When you arrived at their room, Sirius was on his bed, sketching something in his notebook while James was setting up the record player. After all the initial plan had been to just chill and listen to music together. But you all knew that wasn’t going to be the end of the story from the moment the suggestion left Remus’ lips.
You went straight to Siri, pressing a chaste kiss over his mouth as you laid down next to him “Happy birthday Puppy!”
“That’s like the 10th time today you say that,” James teased.
“It’s probably just an excuse to snog him,” added Remus.
You shrugged and leaned in again, pressing another short kiss to Sirius’ soft lips “Happy birthday,” you whispered again.
Sirius just smiled, he loved when you showered him with attention, he had always had a knack for being the center of it, but when he was the center of yours, it made him soar, “You can snog me without wishing me happy birthday kitten, in fact, you can snog me whenever the hell you want.”
You laughed at the suggestive little smirk he made and searched with your hand to grab his. Sirius would definitely go crazy with how much attention you were all about to give him. He leaned in a little closer, dipping his head in the crook of your neck as he turned “You smell nice,” he whispered.
James almost jumped to the bed, placing the top half of his body over the bottom half of yours, his head looking at you from above your belly, “Don’t act like we aren’t in the room,” he said with a pout, placing a hand over your bare leg.
“We weren’t,” Sirius said, still from the crook of your neck “We were just giving you a show,” he added in the end, you could feel the smirk in his tone. Remus laughed, still standing in the middle of the room as he took off his sweater, passing it over his head, slowly, Remus was the most patient of the three; unless you were close to the moon.
You took a deep breath, feeling James’ forearm press against your belly as you did, he leaned down over them and noticed. “You’re not wearing a bra today,” he said as he raised just the edge of your shirt to get a peak.
“And it’s not the only thing I didn’t put on,” you said teasingly.
Sirius turned to you shocked “Shut up.”
“Why don’t you see it for yourself,” you said with a smirk. Sirius didn’t think twice as he dipped his hand under your skirt. Unlike Remus, he went straight to your slick, feeling how wet you already were.
“Bloody hell kitten, you’re soaked,” he said, now his own eyes blown out in lust “Wait, why are you so…?” he turned to Remus, who just shrugged in response, a cheeky smile playing on his face. He narrowed his eyes at him and turned back to you, “fine then… my turn,” he said, lightly pushing James off you as he grabbed you by the waist and placed you on top of him, you were now straddling him, each leg to the side of his. The friction of his pants in your core, only making you all the more turned on, you ground yourself against him, which had him moan, if ever so lightly. James had placed one hand over your tight as he moved to kiss Sirius’ neck. Today was his day, after all.
You smiled, slowly grinding yourself against the boy one more time before leaning in to kiss him on the lips. Remus was sitting on the bed beside yours, lousily looking at the three of you as he patted himself. After a couple more kisses, you reached your hand under Sirius’ shirt, and both you and James pulled Sirius on a sitting position so you could completely remove it, gently passing it over his head. James didn’t leave him lay back down though, he pressed himself behind him to gain better access to his neck instead.
You smiled, still kissing Sirius as you fumbled your fingers over the button of his trousers. “Someone’s thirsty,” he teased.
“You wouldn’t know how much,” you whispered enigmatically. There it is again, Remus thought, she’s onto something. With the help of James, you managed to remove Sirius’ pants too. Playing with the hem of his trousers as you continued to grind onto his leg. Now it was your turn, moving in tandem with James, the two of you managed to lay Sirius back, over James’ chest, who rubbed soft circles on his arms as he watched you grind onto his boyfriend. Sirius was malleable, in fact, at this point, he would let you do whatever the hell you wanted with him, he wasn’t sure he was even still on earth.
Finally, you pulled his boxers down, pulling back just a little when his thick cock sprang out, pressing against his stomach from the force of the release. You licked your lips but stood back straight, taking your time to throw the boxers somewhere. Remus smiled, you were being fast tonight, maybe he’ll get his turn faster than–
He lost his train of thought, you had dropped kisses all over Sirius’ stomach and your face was dangerously close to his cock. It wasn’t unusual that you played and rubbed their cocks with your hands, but you usually kept your head a little further away from them.
He almost completely lost it when he noticed you playing with Sirius’ tights, pressing kisses against them as you spread them a little with your hands. That was a move he knew all too well, he’d done it several times. Finally, when you leaned down and pressed your lips against Sirius’ cock, it was he who jumped out of James’ grasp, Remus crossing the distance that there was in between the two of you with two long strides.
“Kitten what are you–” Sirius asked, his throat dry.
“–what do you think?” you said, motioning to his cock.
“But your gag reflex sweetheart,” James said, he was peering through Sirius’ shoulders.
Your heart warmth at the boys’ concern, “I wanna try,” you added.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do it… If you feel pressured into it because it’s my birthday then–”
“–It’s not that,” you cut him off “I want to try.”
“Are you very sure luv?” Remus asked, he had leaned down near the bed to level his head with yours.
You nodded “Positive.”
“Sirius can be a little desperate sometimes,” James added “We can help you hold him in place so he doesn’t accidentally jerk too hard into your throat, How does that sound?”
You peered to look at him through your lashes, Sirius thought you’d never looked more stunning “If Sirius is all right with that.”
The boy in question nodded excitedly, and James leaned a little to the side, pressing one of his legs, while Remus held him from the other side.
“We’re ready,” Remus said with a short nod.
You nodded in response, taking a deep breath, and leaned back down pressing little kisses on Sirius’ soft abdomen before placing your hand over his balls. You’d seen James do it, and Sirius seemed to like it when he did.
Judging by the way he moaned, he also enjoyed it when you did. After kneading them a little more, and rubbing circles over his tight with your other hand, you placed your hand around his cock, pumping it a couple of times before finally leaning down, placing a light kiss over his tip. The sound Sirius emitted was so sinful, you felt your arousal dripping from your cunt.
James had moved over the bed, one hand still over Sirius’ leg, the other on his cock, he was watching mouth dry as you leaned down on Sirius. He had only dreamed of you doing such a thing, never daring to ask for it.
You took a deep breath, and went for a long lick, all the way from shaft to the end. Remus smirked, such a tease, he thought.
Sirius moaned again, head plopping back into the pillows James had placed when he moved to the side.
Remus hummed “Stop teasing him so much sweetheart,” he said as he placed a hand on the side of Sirius’ face, brushing lightly from his temple to his neck all the while looking tenderly at the boy, “He might just combust in flames if you keep it up.”
You stroked Sirius one more time, brushing your thumb over his tip the way you knew he liked so much and then you leaned down again, this time wrapping your mouth around his tip. You didn’t go down too deep at first, only really staying around the tip, making sure to test how much you could actually fit into your mouth without it getting uncomfortable.
You started moving your tongue around his tip, nipping and teasing. Another moan escaped from Sirius’ mouth, James didn’t know where to look as he touched himself, either at you or Sirius’ pleasure-driven face. At some point, you felt a slight buckle of Sirius’ hips, or at least an attempt of it, since both James and Remus had managed to restrain him from moving too much.
“Please,” he begged. You knew exactly what he wanted. When he got all whinny like that, it was because he wanted you to pick up the pace, either by stroking him faster or bobbing your hips up and down his length. You squeezed slightly with your hand since you knew how much he liked it when you clenched your “tight little pussy” around him. And finally, you started to bob your head up and down, slowly, taking in very little of him in your mouth at first. Testing the waters.
Sirius emitted the kind of groan you only heard of him when he was so deep into you, he couldn’t think of anything else. You then felt Remus’ hand, the one he wasn’t using to hold Sirius’s hip, moving under your skirt. Slowly moving up until he reached the tender flesh of the inside of your tight. And then he went further up, tracing your slit with his long finger.
“Fuck,” he whispered, “Pads, if you could feel how wet she is at this point… she’s practically dripping.”
Remus knew exactly what he was doing, Sirius was as much into physical pleasure as emotional, much like you were, and Remus was well aware knowing such a thing would set his boyfriend on fire, he wasn’t wrong, you could feel his hips trying to buckle into your mouth again, only to be stopped by the boys’ strong hands.
Remus did not remove his hand either, he kept playing around your slit, slowly parting with two fingers as you perked your ass just a bit more for easier access, which just had him grin. You moaned when he placed one of his fingers over your clit and started rubbing, Remus had the most confident grip when it came to finger fucking you, and he always delivered.
You started taking in a bit more of Sirius, forcing yourself a little over what you’d consider your comfort zone. Every moan his noises and Remus’ hands pulled from you, reverberating across his cock and bringing him closer.
“Sweethea… aaaah, fuck.” Sirius was trying to tell you something, but the way his moans sounded, you knew exactly what he wanted to say.
Regardless, it was James who took his hand away from his own cock and bought it to caress your back, “Kitten…” he said softly, you eyed him, not stopping the way you moved your mouth around Sirius, which almost got him to lose his train of thought, “Kitten, Sirius is about to come,” he informed.
You hummed in response, being aware of it already. You knew. Finally, that brought Remus back into the conversation “Wait, luv, does that mean you’re going to…” you hummed again.
“fuck,” you heard him whisper. She’s gonna swallow, he thought, not being able to keep his eyes off you.
Sirius was just as impressed, even if he wasn’t thinking much at this point, he had brought his hand down, and he toyed with your hair before settling it just over the back of your neck, he wasn’t pushing though, he was rubbing soft circles with his thumb, even amongst all the madness you’d brought to him, he was still thinking of your comfort.
You drove your head up and down three more times, and then you felt it, warm and a little salty, spurring into your mouth. And as you had planned you swallowed it all, helping Sirius ride through his orgasm by still bobbing your head a couple of times.
“It’s ok sweetheart,” you heard James, he still had his hand on your back “He’s done, you can stop.”
You did, slowly taking your mouth out and letting your head fall over Sirius’ belly, making sure to keep your ass up so Remus wouldn’t stop toying with your pussy, which he wasn’t planning on either way. Sirius looked at you, breath heavy as he wrapped his hand over your cheek, “That was incredible sweets, and for your first time.”
You pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his stomach, and then turned your eyes back to him “I’d been observing you…” you said. Being stoped by your own moan as Remus drove a finger inside of you “taking notes of what each of my boys likes best.”
“fuck you’re so tight,” the boy whispered, only James heard, you and Sirius were too wrapped in your own little bubble.
“Have you now?” he said with a teasing smile, “you might become the best of the three,” he whispered, it earned him a smack from James, who had been attentively watching the way Remus finger fucked you, imagining how it would look like without the skirt.
“Next time you beg for me to blow you after a game I’ll tell you to go beg elsewhere,” he teased. Which earned a chuckle from you and Sirius.
“I want to see,” Sirius added, motioning to Remus’ hand under your skirt.
“That makes two of us,” James said as he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into a sitting position, you whined in response, almost crying at the loss of Remus’ expert fingers.
“It’s ok baby, we’re just gonna reposition,” James cooed, and he started to unbutton your shirt as Remus got on the bed, taking off his shirt in one swift motion before helping James remove yours. The boys moved in tandem, smoothly as if they knew exactly what the other was about to do next, which perhaps they did, since they knew each other so well. Once the shirt was off, you felt the cold air perk your nipples, giving both boys sitting in front of you their own little show. While that was going on, Remus was the one to unbutton and unzip your skirt, lifting you up towards him as James pulled it off.
Remus placed you in between his legs, enjoying the feeling of the soft bare skin of your back flushing against his torso. He hadn’t yet removed his pants, but you could feel how hard he was under them, so hard it’s gotta be painful.
But Remus had only two moods, either being patient or being desperate; today he was the first one, so when you rocked your hips back, trying to get a reaction, he just held you down “Steady on sweetheart, let us enjoy you first.”
And they were going to enjoy you, while Remus spread you wide open, carefully passing your feet over his legs so they would stay in position, James had leaned in to spread soft kisses on your neck. All of you facing Sirius, who was just smiling darkly at the sight.
Remus was slow at first, passing a hand over your inner tight, massaging the soft skin before getting closer to your slit. Even then, he just massaged around it “Remus!” you whined, which only earned him a chuckle.
“What is it luv?” he asked, playing dumb.
“Yeah, what is it?” James asked, unlaching his lips from your neck and turning to you, joining the teasing.
“Please!” you added, grabbing onto Remus’ hand and placing it on your slit.
Finally, he complied, tracing his strong fingers over your slit, still impossibly wet. James had already moved on to kiss one of your nipples, nipping and teasing the tender skin. Sucking it into peaks before laying it back with his tongue. One of his hands had been placed in the small of your neck, and the other on your other breast, making sure not to let it skip on the fun.
“How are you three so goddamned beautiful?” you heard Sirius mumble as he enjoyed the view.
This time around, after toying with your clit once more, Remus placed two fingers inside instead of one, which had you gasp, but he just smiled devilishly as he thrusted them in and out, eliciting one of his favourite sounds in the world, your moans. While lost in bliss, you felt James’ cock brush against your skin, which made you remember how forgotten you had left him tonight, so you reached out and brushed your hand around it, brushing your thumb over the tip a couple of times, earning a couple of moans from him.
“Yes, please,” he whispered, and you complied, finally starting to stroke him. James did not stop the kissing as you continued to move your hand up and down his length, only moaning your name a couple of times, and squeezing your breast a little tighter when he was close.
You were just as close, you realized Remus had been not only finger fucking you, but preparing you as well, slowly stretching you out with the help of his two fingers. Remus was big, and without stretching, he just didn’t fit in. And if he was stretching you out, then it meant he knew he’d get your wet little cunt tonight and it only fueled him more and turned you on even more in return. You buckled your hips against his fingers a couple of times, and his pace became faster. Just like your stroking around James’ cock.
James came first, thrusting into your hand as his cum dripped all over it, finally unlatching himself from your nipples and breathing heavily as he stared dumbly at you and Remus, lips parted and slightly red, just the sight of it made you buckle your hips against Remus’ hand once again. He was about to take his wand to clean your hand with it, when Remus used his free hand to bring it over to his mouth and ran his tongue from your wrist bone to your fingers, licking most James’ cum along, which James swore made his cock twitch again.
And then Remus turned to you, not slowing down the pace on your pussy, but looking as calm as unbothered as if he were a teacher asking a student for an answer “Do you want to taste him too, sweetheart?”
You nodded, and he pushed your hand towards your mouth, carefully placing the soft section between your thumb and your wrist right over your lips, it was the only section still covered with James’ cum, and you slowly brought your lips around it, sucking carefully on your hand and letting your lips slowly go back to their place as Remus’ pulled your hand out. James was a little saltier than Sirius, but also relatively sweet.
“fuck… i’m gonna end up getting hard again,” you heard James’ groan, which had Sirius chuckle as he pulled the boy towards him.
“Come Prongs, enjoy the show with me,” he said with a smile. James leaned in and gave Sirius a short kiss before leaning on his shoulder.
“All right sweetheart, your turn,” Remus said as he brought his index finger from the other hand to your clit, you leaned your head back on his shoulder, buckling your hips against him with more conviction now that you weren’t distracted by anything else.
His pace quickened and you moaned and whined under his expert hands “Hmmm… please Rem, I’m about to…”
“It’s ok baby, be good and come all over my fingers,” he cooed, and you did, harshly pulling your head back as you allowed him to finger fuck you to oblivion. “There we go, such a good girl for me, isn’t that right?” he praised, as he brought his hand, still wet with your slick over to his mouth and sucked sinfully over the two fingers that were inside of you, moaning as he tasted your juices. He then turned back to you again. “Now, are you gonna allow me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours tonight or do you feel too tired already?”
You wanted nothing more than for Remus to stretch you up just right, so you nodded, head still a little foggy from the high, “Please Remus,” you added for good measure, moving your hips back just to feel him press against you one more time.
Finally, you moved to the side, allowing the boy to take both his pants and underwear off before he laid down on the bed, Remus knew it was easier for you to be the one to ride him, at least at first –and when he was the first one– since that way you had a little more control over how big he was, and he was always more than happy to let you do it, in fact, he quite enjoyed the way your breast bounced as you bobbed up and down his length. And he knew the boys liked it just as much, so he strategically laid in a way so that they would get a good view of you.
You slowly straddled him, placing both knees on each side of his hip before rubbing yourself against his cock a couple of times, causing him to moan this time. You were still so fucking wet.
Eventually, you lifted yourself up and lined him with your entrance. He placed both of his hands around your hips, to help hold you up as you slowly pushed yourself down, moaning as you went as deep as you could. Remus had responded to your tightness with a grunt, truth be told he’d been dreaming of it from the moment he went to pick you up.
You started bobbing up and down his length, slow at first, but picking up that pace as your walls got used to his size. Remus had his hands on your waist, helping you move easily as he started to thrust up into you, reaching the right spot. “fuck… yes,” you said breathily as he continued thrusting.
“So fucking tight,” Remus breathed as he helped you ride him, completely focused on you, on your parted lips, your soft huffs and moans; you were absolutely entrancing in the way you moved your hips on him, “You’re taking me in so well sweetheart…”
You moaned, and clenched around him, which just caused him to buckle against you even harder. That got you to whimper and you brought both of your palms to lay over his shoulders, to hold yourself better as you continued to rock your hips on the boy, “Baby… if you keep that up I’m not gonna last,” he added, and just to tease him, you clenched again, eliciting a moan from the boy so sinful, it fueled you to keep moving, faster this time around.
“So beautiful, aren’t they Prongs?” you heard Sirius say, almost not quite registering it with the way Remus’ cock trusted into you right after. The other boy hummed in response, not able to take his eyes off the way you were moving.
When Remus was close, he switched the two of you around, laying you flat on the bed as he brought one of his hands over to your clit, “Be a good girl and come for me one last time sweetheart,” he said as he continued to thrust. Holding back his own orgasm, he wanted to hear you moan his name as he came.
And after a few more flicks and circles of his thumb, with his pace quickening, you came, “hmm Remus…” you whispered as he continued to thrust inside of you, the way your walls clenched around tipping the boy over the edge, he had hold it back so long, he practically grunted into your ear and spiled inside of you.
Eventually, he pulled back, staring at your pussy as he panted, you knew what he wanted and so you squeezed, allowing the thick white liquid to spill from your inside, dripping from your entrance to the back of your ass. Remus really liked to see the evidence of fucking you, somehow satisfying his most primal desires, or so he’d told you once.
Remus brought one of his hands back to your cunt, you shivered with the contact since you were still slightly overstimulated, but he didn’t budge, using his middle and index to gather some of your combined juices, he angled his head cockily, “Are you gonna taste me tonight as well sweetheart?” he asked.
You smiled wickedly, using your elbows to prop yourself up and leaning in towards the boy’s hand, not bothering to answer as you opened your mouth and wrapped it around both of his fingers, making sure to let your lips pull as you slowly hollowed your mouth and pulled yourself back, licking your lips as you completely separated from the boy. Remus had not been expecting that, his cocky demeanour faltering as his mouth dried. Remus was the sweetest of the three.
A/N: this is the third piece of smut I’ve written so far, and omg this definitely got out of hand. Regardless… I do feel like I’m getting the hang of it. Maybe? A little bit? At least I don’t feel the cringe, anymore. Saying that, I do still stop myself every now and then and wonder “what the hell am I writing?” In a “I’d be burned in the stake for imagining these things” sort of way haha! Either way, I’m having fun, and that’s what matters!
The Five Senses was born as a way for me to practice writing smut for my brand new Wolfstar x Reader series that's currently being posted on a weekly basis. If you have feedback, please leve it in the comment below. I absolutely love reading your comments <3
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