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misseviehyde · 11 months

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PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT

For Erica... ❤️

The echoes of rough voices and clinking glasses filled the air as the clock struck nine and the out-of-place couple looked nervously around.

"You want me to do what?" gasped Emily as she stared incredulousy at her boyfriends bully and backed protectively towards her brother Kyle.

She was standing in the towns roughest bar, surrounded by dangerous looking men and trying to make a bargain to protect her boyfriend. She'd brought Kyle as backup - but what exactly he was supposed to do in an emergency, she wasn't quite sure.

The bully - Mason - laughed, enjoying her shocked and scandalised expression as he expertly shuffled the deck of cards he always carried and with a grin shot them effortlessly from one hand to the other.

"You want me to repeat myself? Your loser boyfriend means nothing to me, so I'll leave him alone if you become MY girlfriend for a little while. All you gotta do is take this card."

With a twist of his wrist, Mason caused a card to shoot out of the deck and effortlessly catching it, he turned it to show her.

It was the Queen of Spades

The card showed an evil and bitchy looking woman seated on a throne - dressed in slutty lingerie and with a wicked expression on her pretty face. Devilish eyes glinted with dark power and soft white skin almost ached to be touched and grabbed.

She was a Queen. An evil, all powerful Queen and the card throbbed with wicked power.

"See this is my kind of woman, a cuckolding, evil, bitchy, snowbunny slut who has a taste for my big black cock," laughed Mason as he held the card nearer to Emily. "The card is magic. All you have to do is take it and you'll become the slut you know you wanna be."

Emily breathed heavily, trying to resist the evil card in front of her. It was surely just a playing card, yet some unreasonable part of herself seemed to suggest that if she took it - she would be changed and transformed in terrible ways just like the bully was suggesting.

For some reason the idea turned her on.

Mason grinned. He was six feet six and muscled and strong. He had a way of getting what he wanted, especially since he had found this deck of cards.

This special MAGIC deck of cards.

The woman on the card almost seemed to toss her hair and smirk at Emily. Her eyes flashed wicked invitiation. "Don't you wanna become be loser? Don't you want to be a bitch?" her expression seemed to say.

Emily felt the temptation to take the card growing. Her nipples were hard. Part of her longed to do it, to take the card from Mason and let it transform her into a Queen of Spades.

She resisted.

"No! I won't do that. I love my boyfriend Max and I have no intention of betraying him."

Mason shrugged.

"That's too bad bitch. You would have made a good Queen. I can imagine how eager you would have been to betray that nerd, to dress like a Goddess and take big black cock. I would have loved to see you dominate your pathetic boyfriend and cuck him. Never mind - you're not my only option."

He turned to Kyle. "How about it loser? Your sister doesn't wanna be a bitch, but how about you? I can turn you from a pussy free virgin loser into my hot, popular girlfriend."

Kyle looked at his sister in shock and she flashed him a worried expression.

"Leave my brother alone you bastard, how dare you suggest he would ever do something like that."

Mason laughed. "Just think about it nerd. Being a tight bodied bitch that gets everything you want, sliding your wet pink lips around my big dick, letting me spoil you... don't you want that?"

Kyle's eyes locked magnetically onto the card. The bitch on it sneered and her voice seemed to lance into his mind.

Oh my Gawd, what a fucking loser. But you could be useful. Take me you fucking simp. Take me and let me twist your weak body into something better. Your fucking bitch sister resisted me - I wanna show her what she could have been. Let me make you into a SLUT.

Visions seared across Kyle's mind. Visions of cocks in each hand, his nails now long and painted. His body was now beautiful, his hair raven black and elegant. Perfect tits hung from his chest. He felt so fucking good.

"Yesssss," groaned Kyle as he took the card.

"Noooo!" screamed Ellie as the card burst into pink flames and vanished.

Kyle moaned and Mason laughed.

"Your bro is gonna be my bitch now Ellie. You should have taken the card when you had the chance."

Dark power flashed around Kyle and wet popping sounds filled the air as his body twisted and contorted. He groaned and giggled, his hands going to his face as his nails lengthened and shot out.

"Ohhhhh fuck YESSSSS make me into your fucking Queen!" he hissed.

Kyle panted and groaned. He was becoming smaller, sexier, more feminine. Wicked lips curved into a hot pink smile as silky black hair fell around his head. Pale white kissible skin now covered his body.

"I can mmmmh feel my personality changing," he gasped. "Your weak nerdy brother is gone, I love how it feels to be bad!"

Kyle smiled as his clothing changed to become more stylish and sexy. His checked shirt tightened to the curves of his new slender body, the material becoming thinner and sexier as it revealed his tempting flesh.

Heels pushed Kyle up and makeup shimmered over his beautiful new face, the dark eyes glittering.

"Ohhhhh fuck yeah," giggled Kyla as she became a horny little snowbunny. A new Queen of Spades had been born and she stretched her lithe body and with a grin strutted over to Mason and draped her arm round his shoulder.

"Mmmmh I'm so fucking hot," she giggled. "Hey Daddy, ready to fuck me?"

No one else in the bar seemed to have noticed the transformation and Mason grinned at Ellie.

"See what you could have had if you'd played your cards right? Your brother is now a real Queen and you're a nobody."

Kyla giggled along with Mason as he led her over to the side exit and they went out into the carpark.

They went over to Mason's car and grinning Mason unzipped his fly and got out his big cock. Kayla moaned excitedly and sinking to her knees began to suck.

Ellie watched her former brother begin to deepthroat nine inchs of big black dick. Kyla seemed to be loving it. Her eyes shone with satisfaction and desire. She was made for this.

*GLUG GLUG GLUG*

Her head slid up and down the magnificent cock, sucking as she went. She looked so hot as she knelt before Mason and worshipped him.

Breaking for air, a massive grin on her face Kyla three back her head and groaned in raw animal pleasure.

"Fuck yessss I LIVE for big black cock," she growled as saliva and precum dripped out of the corner of her mouth.

"Then you'll like what happens next," grinned Mason as his fingers danced over the keys of his mobile phone. "Now get back to sucking."

Kyla obeyed and Mason slid his hands into her silky raven hair. This bitch was amazing, the card had given her the skills and powers of a porn star.

Ellie watched with tears in her eyes as her brother began to remove his clothing. Kyla's breasts were perfect and round. Mason grabbed one and squeezed.

Lifting her up, he bent her over the car and slid up her skirt. Kneeling behind Kyla,m Mason thrust his head into her ass and began to lick her pussy from below. She moaned and spread her legs, collapsing over the bonnet of the car and moaning uncontrollably as he made her wetter and wetter with his tongue.

"Ohhhh fuck baby, you're making me SO wet," she groaned, her eyes rolling up in her head as she quivered. "Pleeeease I need that big dick inside me."

Standing up behind her, Mason pushed the tip of his cock into Kyla's tight virgin pussy. She had never been fucked before, but now she was a Queen of Spades and ready to be a slut.

Ellie felt a mix of emotions as she watched. Horror, anger... but also jealousy as she saw how hot and bitchy her brother had become. She was jealous of Kyla's perfect body and the pleasure now on her face as Mason stretched her open.

"Fuck YESSSSS!" screamed Kyla as Mason went deeper inside her and gently began to rock his hips back and forward.

Kyla lay on the bonnet of the car, her legs spread as Mason began to fuck her. Grabbing her hair he pulled her ecstatic head back and began to pump faster and faster.

Kyla screamed and moaned, uncaring they were fucking in public as her lover began to give her the hard pounding her Queen of Spades body now demanded. Black cock was all that mattered.

The door to the bar suddenly opened and two more black guys walked out. Mason's friends had come as soon they had been messaged. Ignoring Ellie they walked over to the rutting couple and unzipped their flies too.

"Mmmmhh gimmee," groaned Kyla as she took a cock in each hand...

For the next thirty minutes Ellie watched helplessly as her brother was spit-roasted, ridden and fucked by Mason and his friends. Kyla's stamina seemed endless and her hunger for BBC insatiable.

Ellie jealously watched her brother cumming multiple times, then finally being cum over himself.

Her face and tits dripping with cum, Kyla finally seemed to notice Ellie. Walking over she laughed as she pinned her sister up against a wall and French kissed cum into her mouth.

"You should have taken the card bitch. I'm Queen now and I'm going to make you into my subby little sister. No one will remember Kyle... except you by the way. This is the way it is now. Oh by the way, a QoS needs to cuck white boys so I'm going to steal your boyfriend, then cuck him with Mason."

Strutting away to clean herself up, the new Queen blew a cummy kiss at her bull and laughed as she walked into her new life.

She had certainly played her cards right...

THE END

#evie hyde #bitchification #m2f transformation #bully #snowbunny #bbc

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madamedramatics · 3 months

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Canon wise, it doesn't make sense for Shepard to have any sort of bug phobia. She's the captain of the Normandy, the first human spectre, an N7, ect....but fanon, Oh ma GAWD, let me tell yall the scenarios my mind wandered off too.

Scen 1. Shep's okay with regular bugs but bugs the same size as her is where she draws the line. When one pops up on her, her trigger finger takes care of it instantly as she shrieks. Realizing it's dead, she is relieved, but she doesn't remember being this tall. She somehow has managed to jump into Garrus' or Wrex's arms. Garrus would ask, "Are you okay?" but Wrex would definitely drop her😂

Scen 2. Shep doesn't care how big or small they are. They all must die, specifically by fire or nuke, as far as she's concerned. Her, Tali, and random 3rd squad member (l'll slot Liara in for this one) go on a mission. You'd think Liara was made to lead since her friends' legs can barely stop shaking. They scream everytime a spider pops up, using full clips on already dead specimens. Liara tries to reassure but can't stop herself from touching the creatures for study. The two scaredy cats are just as uncomfortable watching Liara touch the bugs. They stumble across one of the largest bugs nest they'd ever seen and Shep has had enough. She radios her emotional support turian and says he needs to come get her right now. Tali tells him to bring Chakwas too because her heart won't make it back to ship at this rate. Garrus gives them words of encouragement. Grunt tells them to grow a pair....and to stop screaming because he can hear them from 20 cave tunnels over😂 After the mission is over, Garrus sees a crater in the planets surface. When he asks what happened, all Liara can say is Shepard found the nuke.

Scen 3. Bugs like the Rachni queen do little to Shepard but bugs the size of her pinky nail just make her skin crawl. It's her off day, one she didn't even wanna take, but after falling asleep in the middle of a gunfight, she realized she was putting her team in danger with her lack of sleep. After a nice shower, she steps out to dry her hair, but she doesn't expect a visitor to descend in front of her. As the miniscule spider swings in front of her, she absolutely loses it. She is screaming, in a full blown panic. She tells Edi to get some help and tell someone she's trapped. Garrus damn near teleports to the cabin with everyone hot on his trails, so save the commander from an unknown enemy. When the crew arrives and she's telling them to "kill that bastard," they are confused. They see no one. She says, "THE SPIDER DAMMIT" and everyone's faces drop. They all look at Garrus and says this is his problem and single file their way back out to the elevator. Garrus sees the bug and decides it doesn't look too bad, so he flicks his tongue and eats it. He didn't expect that to make Shepard pass out...still ass naked on the floor.

If you read all of this, thank you for entertaining this post and please feel free to add funny uncanon like scenarios of your own😂

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stxrrynxghts · 4 months

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Re-watching Mahabharat (6/?)

Not Karna being scandalized by Dury's adharmi talks

Yudhishthira's room is so pretty, but where is the bed? Where will he sleep? On the sofa?

Dhritarashtra is continuing the Kuruvanshi pratha of uncles manipulating their nephews

Sahadeva's sahadeva sense is working up again~~~~~

Sahadeva's wig is so fckin UGLY. Like my boy deserves better.

How to manipulate Yudi: just say "tum to dharm ke gyaata ho" and move on

I think Yudi knows that he is being manipulated.

"Jis ke putra jeevan kaal me hi mar jate hain uske jeevan me bhi nark aur mrityu ke pashchat bhi nark." YES. And Yudhishthira will be experiencing that feeling in some 20-30 years.

Oh God. Dhritarashtra is that one uncle who convinces you to name your share of property in his sons' name, because you are well settled and don't need it anymore.

Not Arjun and Sahadeva sneaking up on these two XD

Arjun pulling UNO reverse on Dhritarashtra heheheeeeee

I see. Arjun is doing Krishna's job before Krishna enters the picture. Then he will be a dumbass innocent lil sweetie for the rest of his life

Subhadra is such a dumb cutie

FINALLY. A room with a bed. I can die in peace now.

If only the makers had paid some attention to this couple T_T

Arjun has begun his dumb ways. This is the Arjun we know and love.

Arjun is an expert in household chores. EXCELLENT.

Arjun is a simpleton, hence proved. See what you have done. Poor Subhadra is in tears because of you.

Subhadra, you sneaky lil brat. I pity Balarama so much. He has to deal with two drama queen siblings daily.

Le Subhadra: a trip with Arjun? YAYYYYYYYYY PAWWRTYYYY

Ngl, this is one of my fav episodes in this show. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Krishna enters in this one.

No Kunti, there is no dharm in Dury's heart.

So....Kalyavan is a white male, going with the description?......

Arjun is having a laugh at Subhadra's expense, XD

oh GAWD. I am not prepared for this.

I can't believe that I will be simping over both Arjun and Krishna at the same time.

Arjun's earrings are so low quality. I swear I have seen so many like those for 50 Rs in Sarojini.

Arjun: tum swasth ho? Sweetie, I don't think she is fit or fine ATM.

Krishna has done a PhD in separating the water by putting his foot in it.

WHAT A GLORIOUS ENTRANCE. I am at a loss of words.

Not Krishna posing like a cool guy (as if he isn't jumping inside at the thought of meeting his mortal bestie for the first time.)

Arjun being awed by Krishna is their entire friendship summarized.

I didn't know that I needed to see Arjun with wet hair this badly.

That scene where baby Krishna collides with adult Krishna >>>>

Srsly, I feel so bad for him. Cons of being a God.

Honestly, Krishna's life has so many lessons to learn from. He knew how his loved ones would die, he had to abandon the people he loved, and yet he remained happy and loving through out all of this. He is seriously such a sweet and lovely God.

"Jagat me sabse sundar, Kaun Madhav?" "Mai Parth, aur kaun?" HAYYEEEEEEEEE

Arjun, that is THEEEE Rukmini's love letter you are laughing at :<<

Krishna broke the 4th wall, didn't he?

"Aur mai Madhav?" YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO BOI

Yo Brihannala is such a cute shawty-

It seems as if Mahodaya has some questions about Brihannala's identity.

Krishna: I warned you don't blame me !!!!

Krishna sneakily taking aashirwaad from Rukmi for the first and last time in his life hehehe

How come Rukmi has no questions about KRISHNA touching the prasad? Only the bride and groom can touch it, no?

Damn Rukmi. You are such a fool.

Rukmini is so pretty *Sobs*

Arjun is going through severe existential crisis haha

YAASSSS KRISHNA SHAVE RUKMI'S HEAD-

what a joyride.

#mahabharat #mahabharata #starbharat recap #starplus mahabharat #starbharat

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random-introverted-blog · 10 months

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Across Stars and Time [Ascended!Astarion x F!Reader]

Spawn vs Ascended oh my gawd

Edit: Due to incredibly popular demand on AO3 (again) this story has been converted to a full story called His Star - His Queen. It's being cross posted between here and AO3

Read His Star - His Queen on AO3

Read His Star - His Queen on Tumblr

Intended Audience: Mature [Merely a suggestion, like speed limits, right?]

Who be smoochin?: Astarion x F!Reader

The Bit: At long last, Astarion will be free of his master and you will be his most enthusiastic cheerleader as he ends Cazador, once and for all. So you think until you find an Imposter Astarion that waits in the center of the room for you. Cazador tortured and dying at his feet. And your Astarion, to his horror, faces the true cost of his ascension. You.

Warnings/Advisories: ANGST, no happy ending (though it ends on a brighter/hopeful note), major character death (not either Astarion, that would be too easy on both of them), references of past SA, references of suicide, a reference of sucidal ideation, violence, injuries, yandere doing yandere things, obsessive and possessive behavior, your boyfriend is getting the shit kicked out of him, your "husband" who is the same man from another universe is kicking the shit out of himself, "HERE COMES ASCENDANT ASTARION WITH THE STEEL CHAIR FROM THE TOP ROPE", is it time magic or jumping across realities, "SPAWN ASTARION WITH THE SUPLEX"

Words, all the word (count): a whopping 5,390

Writing art and breaking hearts in 3...2...1

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"Save it for when I'm standing over Cazador's bloody corpse." Astarion had said when he stopped you from kissing him today.

And that was fine, sure, you really wanted to, but you could understand he was not in the head-space to be affectionate with you. It didn't change how he felt, or how you felt, so what did it matter? You could wait your whole life for his kisses and embraces and still die happy, so long as it was a life shared with him. There was nothing you wanted more than Astarion, baggage and all. No matter how unsure and self conscious he was about what he believed he lacked or couldn't give you. You crossed your fingers that it would be enough he would decide against completing the ritual. It would change him, that you knew without a doubt. And you were nervous it wouldn't be a change for the better.

You loved him for him, as much as you were afraid to use those exact words, and you had seen plenty of times what immense power does to people... your heart clenched thinking of that happening to him.

Nights nuzzled into his chest, legs tangled together, fingers in your hair. The safest and warmest you've ever felt was being in his cold arms. These were some of your best memories in the few you still held from your past life. And you made sure he knew he didn't even need to do any of that, the cuddles and kisses, to have your love. It was unconditional. It always would be.

You couldn't wait to stand with him as he finally ended this chapter of his life and turned the page, and his eyes toward a brighter future. Hopefully, if he wished it... it would include you.

But something was wrong. There wasn't a single servant to be seen in the whole place. You found the signet ring left on the floor in front of the sealed door and Astarion chalked it all up to Cazador paving the way for his "homecoming party". It didn't sit right with you, and you had tried to express as much to him but it just made him snap at you. After all, he spent two hundred years as a slave to the vampire lord. Who were you to question what he did and didn't know?

After that, you had kept your mouth shut. It hurt, but you had already forgiven his bad mood. You understood he was going through a lot, anxiety eating him from the inside out. So you kept your thoughts to yourself and did your best to keep your perceptive eyes peeled for any clues. Your gut instinct was right. When you found the elevator to the crypt, you had silently hoped it would ease your own troubled thoughts, your paranoia, but truth be told; it made it worse.

You looked among your companions to gauge if they perhaps felt the same. As rare as it was to see them all together on a mission, Astarion had earned their friendship just as much as you had, and not a one turned down the chance to deliver a long overdue beat down on Cazador Szarr.

But the only thing you registered on their faces was a determination for violence. Glad as you were, you were just as eager, of course, but that did little to soothe your nerves. It wasn't uncertainty, like Astarion's, much as he tried to mask it. No, something felt... changed. Unbalanced. Your tadpole, maybe? No, it was quiet as a babe. Your urges? No, your bhaalspawn blood, despite feeling a mite antsy, was relatively subdued.

As you crossed the crypt on the way toward the two large, ancient doors, a voice called out to Astarion. He stopped, glanced at you and turned slowly toward the cell. Expression impassive but footsteps cautious, until his eyes widened. "Sebastian??" He gasped, taking one step back.

"What are you doing out here?" The spawn asked, clinging to the bars. "You're supposed to be in there!" The man jabbed a finger toward the door.

Drawing your brows together, you glanced at the doors behind you, and you started to drift toward it. Screams caught your ears from within. Muffled, but sharper as you moved closer. A hand on your shoulder, and you found Gale, Halsin and Shadowheart at your back while Astarion was distracted with the spawn. Tempted as you were to stay, he seemed to be really distraught. Something was undeniably wrong now. Why were they so convinced he had already come through here?

Those screams were unlike anything you had ever heard, sounds of terror and agony that sent shivers down your spine. You had heard and seen a lot in your travels, you all had. But nothing quite like the sounds coming from beyond these doors.

Halsin took the lead and pushed the doors open, you close behind, Shadowheart and Gale took the rear behind you.

You were startled when the doors slammed shut behind Shadowheart, and the four of you looked among yourselves, searching for an answer for the other. When all you received were questioning stares, your eyes wandered to the center of the chamber and you descended the long stone staircase. Lining the platform, hovering above red sigils, were Astarion's siblings. Veils of darkness covered their faces, whatever it was doing, the source of their twisted symphony for relief.

Dead center of the platform, a figure in top-grade studded leather armor hunched over someone on their hands and knees. Hands visibly trembling against the floor, drenched in sweat.

As if sensing your presence, the figure tossed something from their right hand, a blade skidding across the floor, their now free hand raised in the air and snapped their long fingers. Instant silence fell over the ritual chamber. "Ah, there you are..." a voice greeted in a low, familiar purr. "I've been waiting..." they continued, slowly straightening to full height, presenting you the equally... hauntingly familiar white curly haired back of their head. "Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you." Looking over their shoulder before at last, turning to face you. "Waiting... to have you."

"What kind of sick magic is this? An identity spell?" Gale questioned, as confused and audibly disturbed as the rest of you. Bewildered at this seemingly perfect copy of Astarion. No... something was off. You just couldn't put your finger on it. It wasn't anything on a physical level, as far as you could tell. He wasn't wearing the same armor, though. Like you noted earlier, this was top grade studded leather armor, dyed a midnight black and dark red. Yours was wearing the set of Spidersilk armor you had pried from the dead drow woman back at the Emerald Grove.

"Cazador, if you think hiding behind his face is going to stop me from peeling yours from your bones, allow me to let you down now." You glared, readying your weapon and assuming your stance. The others followed your lead, as always.

But the Mimic chuckled, a soft, airy sound too like Astarion for it to be a mimic. "He won't be able to answer you, my dear" they chuckled, tone filled with amusement. "He's long swallowed his own tongue." You watched the deep crimson cloak sway behind them as they circled around the trembling man, turning him over their black boot. The man fell onto his back, and you assumed the dark-haired elven man, face swollen, bloody and almost too distorted to be recognized as a face, was all that remained of Cazador.

He gasped and wheezed, and the mimic used their foot to force Cazador's head up to face you, providing you a better look. Sure as they said, there was no tongue... or fangs, either. Only two gaps in the top row of teeth where they should be.

Unceremoniously, they dropped his head to the floor, and you realize the mimic hasn't actually taken their eyes off you since they circled around Cazador. "I am a man of considerable patience, but even I grew bored idling about, waiting for him to bring you to me, my treasure."

"A shapeshifter." You blurted out as the thought crossed your mind. "Really, an imposter of my lover? I'm almost flattered, dear sister" a mocking grin splitting your lips, hand tight around your weapon, magic crackling at your fingertips, waiting to be unleashed should they make a move against you.

The imposter raised their eyebrows before meeting your grin with their own. "No, darling. I'm more Me than that... creature you've been putting up with."

"What in the nine hells are you then?" you bite impatiently, tired of this back and forth. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. That you couldn't figure it out was wearing on you.

Behind you, the doors burst open, but neither of you looked away from your standoff to see. Footsteps rushing down the stairs, "y/n!" Astarion called after you, coming to an audible skidding stop at the scene before him.

"I'm the man you love, pet." The Imposter responded, as if the rest of your team didn't just rush in, as if the real Astarion wasn't joining your side, daggers drawn. "I'm the man who in another life you denied, using a disintegrate scroll on yourself to reject everything I gave you. The man who has crossed the stars and time itself to return you to his side." They took a step toward you but you held your ground, ignoring every impulse to turn heel and bolt the other way as they partly lifted their hands from their side. "I am High Lord Astarion Ancunín. Vampire Ascendant." Smirking from ear to ear in a way that was undeniably Astarion. From the glance you spare at your Astarion, he seemed just as stunned, confused... worried.

Still, you searched him for it: deception, doubt, a half truth, anything and your heart sunk further, the more you found to only prove his point. To your horror, this was Astarion. Somehow, as he said, crossed the barriers of your realities to be here.

Ascendant... This is what Astarion would become if he completed the ritual.

You searched his eyes, for what you couldn't say for sure, something to reject this, reject him. Something that would wake you from this nightmare. His eyes were cold, dark with malice, lacking any of the warmth you felt when you stared into your Astarion's, they were commanding, all-consuming.

Your body stiffened, rigid. You couldn't look away.

"There..." The Ascendant sighs, almost dreamily, "come here to me, my treasure..." Extending his arms wide, inviting you into them, and you feel every muscle in your body acting on its own.

Panic nearly takes your senses. "No, I can't..." you force the words out before your throat tightens and your tongue stills.

But that's all he needs to hear to understand. Astarion's arm wraps around your waist as your feet move, pulling you into his arms instead. With a mind of its own, your body thrashes and squirms against him as if desperately trying to heed the Ascendants' command, but he doesn't let go. "Easy, darling, I've got you..." He murmurs in your ear, not unlike the nights he's comforted you, tied up and writhing on your bedroll. "I won't let him... I won't..." you detect the softest of tremors in his voice while you struggle to regain control of your limbs.

Behind you, you listen to your friends scrambling to form a protective line between both of you and the Ascendant. "I don't know what damnable creature you are," Wyll says from somewhere in the line, "but I know my friend Astarion, and that's enough reason for me to drive my blade through your putrid heart."

"What you are is an abomination." Halsin speaks right after him, "part of understanding and appreciating the artistry of life is understanding the role death plays in nature's beauty. But frankly... I cannot imagine any reason for your existence." He concludes with a harsh glare at the Ascendant.

Who merely lifts an eyebrow. "How imbecilic." He says impassively, glancing among your six friends. Suddenly his eyes glow and mist red, and with a wave of his hand the very shadows at their backs surge to life.

Halsin's shadow is upon him with a viciousness you've only seen in rabid animals, shredding him to ribbons before he even turns to face the monster.

Lae'zel holds her own well enough before hers takes her to the ground. Though it seems grim, she appears to be regaining the upper hand quickly.

Gale whips around and reaches to grab Wyll and cast Dimension Door, but his own shadow counterspells him and blasts him with a ray of frost so hard it sends him hurtling through the air.

The Ascendant watches the wizard sail past him with a barely suppressed humor to his features. "Oh, dear..." He mutters just loud enough to be heard, "not going quite the way you expected, is it?" He mutters, raising his hand to examine his nails. Only appearing mildly interested in the chaos unfolding in front of him.

Wyll dispatches his shadow, only to watch Karlach overwhelmed by hers, and he shouts in horror. Barely reaching her in time to block the downswing aimed for her chest.

"And how about you druid—Oh, dear..." he gasps, a feigned expression of shock flitting across his face, moving that same hand to his mouth, a wicked smile barely concealed behind his splayed fingers. You shiver at the sadistic delight dancing shamelessly in his eyes while he gawks at the sight of Halsin, savaged and lifeless, face down in a pool of his own blood. "You always had that coming, you dimwitted oaf. The first time too..." He huffs, straightening his posture and holding his head up as he leers down at the body with blatant disdain. "And you know what they say about your own worst enemy...." As he glances among your friends, one by one struggling and fending for themselves.

Astarion tugs at your arm when your body stills against his. "We need to go, now!" he hurries, dragging you behind him.

He reaches the bottom of the stairs before you pull your arm free. "We're just going to leave them?!" you ask incredulously, raising your voice, gesturing and looking behind you.

Shadowheart thoroughly thrashes her dark copy with impressive efficiency, diverting her energy now to the Ascendant. The familiar chant falls from her lips as she begins to cast Turn Undead. Vanishing in a blur of crimson mist, he reappears in front of her, and she successfully gets the spell off a mere second later.

But he stood there, unfazed. Flashing a wicked grin, he confidently takes hold of Shadowhearts' hands, lifting them up and then abruptly wrenching them in opposing directions, sending an uneasy wave through your body. She cries out in agony, and the Ascendant allows her to collapse to her knees before he callously brushes her aside with his boot, treating her as though she were nothing more than a worn-out toy.

Astarion takes your arm again, returning your attention to him and desperate urgency flashes over his features. "You don't understand. I know what he wants, and I won't let him—"

Just as he turns around for the stairs, a flash of red mist. "Tut-tut." The Ascendant scolds, clearly unimpressed, scowling at Astarion as the very shadows of the room gather around his hands.

Reacting faster than your vampire, you swiftly shove yourself between the two Astarions, acting on instinct.

Pain ripples through you unlike anything you've felt before, like a hammer of fire and ice that makes your blood boil and freeze all at once. The blast launches you back into Astarion hard enough to send you hurtling through the air, past Gale casting another spell.

Your body slams into the unforgiving coldness of the stone platform, causing a sharp intake of breath and a loud grunt of pain involuntarily slips past your lips. The force of the impact propels you into a chaotic, disorienting tumble, your cheek scraping the rough texture of the floor as you skid to a halt.

Despite the pain on your face, you dug deep and pushed on your arms, your body trembling slightly as you managed to roll onto your back. Vision hazy and unfocused. What in the sweet hells kind of magic was that?

Where's...?

Straining your eyes, you see Gale rushing toward you before ominous black chains materialized from the floor and curled around his arms and legs, forcefully dragging him to his knees. Instinctively reaching for the wizard but your thoughts and concerns quickly shift elsewhere at the sound of your name. Tilting your head backwards, your heart almost settles at the sight of your pale elf scrambling to his feet toward you, "Astarion!" you call back, mustering your strength again in an attempt to get back on your feet.

And as quickly as you felt some sense of relief at the sight of him, your heart sinks violently at the tendril, the whip of dark magic that coils tightly around his body and flings him backward, away from you. With his rogueish reflexes, he quickly gathers his feet under him and lunges for his attacker. Fiercely, you struggle to your knees, desperate to help him.

The Ascendant effortlessly extends his arm, gathering at his legs, "even vermin must kneel before a god," he sneers, snapping his arm back to his side, sending a grunting, growling Astarion down with it, knees slamming to the ground. A fury to his stride "you were always worthless, sniveling..." raising his boot and pressing it harshly onto your vampire's shoulder, "groveling." Pushing him harshly down onto his hands.

Lightning flies from behind you, a quick glance reveals Gale had managed to get the spell off, and the Ascendant winces at the unexpected attack, stumbling off of Astarion. Who doesn't waste the opportunity and tackles his full weight into him. It doesn't do more than throw the Ascendant somewhat off balance as the two wrestle for the upper hand. "Bluster all you want, but I see what you really are! A lost, empty, miserable creature! Trying to fill a hole in your heart that all the power in the world will never sate!" Astarion snarls with his fangs on full display.

With a shove, the Ascendant puts distance between him and Astarion. His eyes glow red again and he grabs Astarion by the throat, lifting him into the air like a rag-doll. A familiar hand touches your shoulder and you're about to turn and thank Gale when the Ascendant's head snaps in your direction. The chains, which never fully released Gale, tighten around his arms and legs but begin to pull slowly in opposite directions. Then he opens his hand, his palm flat and level with the ground. Darkness swirling from the room and around his fingers like moths to a flame, and he steadily curls them back into his hand as it simmers a soft, red glow.

Blobs of shadow ooze from the floor and take the shape of monsters, soldiers, ghouls... One dozen, then two. Far more than you know your friends and you can fend off on your own. "Wait!" You shout before you can fully think of why you're doing so, rising to your feet at last, despite the way your legs ache and demand you don't.

Eerily, it all comes to a stop. All of it. And though the Ascendant pauses a long while, even he flings Astarion carelessly behind him before he slowly turns to you. "Apologies, my treasure... I got carried away." He says calmly, watching you cautiously circle around him.

You hesitantly look around the room. From Cazador's body, to Halsin's mangled and brutalized and the six spawn still muzzled with dark magic... "why are you doing all this?" is all you can ask in a barely audible whisper.

"You." He answers, so simple yet with such reverence. "For you, for us, I have dominated this city, compelled it to kneel before you, reduced it to little more than your personal footstool for your amusement." His eyes were distant with fond memories, and evidently clueless to the horror in your eyes. "I made you my queen, and I sat you beside me on a throne befitting of one, one that embodied your grace and beauty." You watched his eyes gaze upward, still deep in his recollections.

"The sight of you seated beside me never failed to make my heart swell with pride and fill me with contentment, like a melody playing in my soul." The words tumbling out, as if he'd been holding them in for centuries, bringing a hand to rest flat against the chest of his armor, over his heart.

"Hundreds of servants who kissed the ground you blessed with your every step as you tread the halls of our palace... and still, you rejected me." The Ascendant growls, taking a step toward you that has you quickly reeling backward, away from him. "After everything I taught you, all the delights of obedience, slow as you were to learn them... Countless nights spent coaxing your body to submission to me with nothing but pleasure. And you. Still—"

"No wonder I fucking killed myself." You spat, cutting him off before he could make you vomit... gods, how your stomach churned... "By the hells," you muttered, a look of disgust on your face. "What made you think I'd ever want that? The Astarion I know, my Astarion, would never... He knows me. Sees me." Gesturing behind you, and on cue, you felt his hand brush yours. "Did you?" The words sounding like a soft plea on behalf of your Other Self. A life, by what he described, you loathed.

The Ascendant regards you, his face impassive and impossible to read and all you could hope - pray for, was that your words were getting through. Even if he may not be your Astarion, it still pained you to see him like this. Amazed you he didn't look any different in the physical sense...

But then you watched his piercing scarlet eyes swirl back, full of malice, the twisted obsession of a love now corrupted, a chilling fury smoldering in his gaze as it consumed you. Commanding.

He grinned as your limbs once again went rigid. "Yes. I do." Casually raising his hand, this time you can only helplessly watch as another burst of foul magic slams into Astarion behind you, "now be a good girl, stop struggling and come to me."

In an instant, you berated yourself for your own stupidity to fall for this again, as your body stiffly, though slowly, moved forward. Behind you, chaos erupted as the creatures summoned by the Ascendant swarmed upon your friends. To your relief, you hear them fighting, possibly even holding them off, but that just meant you were on your own against... this.

Straining with all your will, you tore your gaze away from his eyes and fixated on the center of his chest. Though it had no effect on the command already imposed on your unwilling body, it felt less forceful. You grimaced, wriggling your fingers as you fought to regain any semblance of control from him. You never told Astarion you love him, you have to tell him, and you need to beat this if you ever want to...

With a fierce growl, your arms at last heed your demands, allowing you to swiftly reach for the dagger holstered at your side. However, you misjudged the distance between you two and realize too late you're within his grasp, and he quickly seizes your wrists, forcefully pulling you towards him. "Gods, I've missed you, my love..." The Ascendant's warm breath caressed your ear, his grip strong and possessive. Tight and suffocating.

Warm... He's...

With precision, he extends his hand towards your face, gently leading it to meet his own. The moment your lips touch, a searing heat spreads through your body, intensified by the graze of his fangs against your lip. As if anticipating your resistance, his other hand swiftly clasps the back of your head, holding you in place. Preventing any thought you may have had about breaking away before he's done.

It freezes you at first. The similarity, yet stark difference, of his lips hits you like a sudden gust of wind. It's a complete contrast to the cold you've grown accustomed to and sincerely enjoy from your Astarion.

How similar, but utterly different, his lips are. They radiate warmth, as do his hands and breath. It's a complete contrast to the cold you've grown accustomed to and sincerely enjoy from your Astarion. The smell of the Ascendant, rosemary and bergamot, differs from yours, though, with his comes a tinge of a frosty winter evening. Against every sense in your mind, screaming at you to stop him, fight this, your heart races with a sickening blend of fear and want.

Still, you fought, barely resisting the intense urge to kiss him back. This wasn't your Astarion. Yours was... calling out to you, and you could barely hear him. Could barely hear anything other than the Ascendants' breaths and mouth moving on yours, as if tempting you to sync with the kiss before he silently gives up and barely separates from you. "Come with me, my dark consort." He practically purrs, his lips brushing yours. "Faerûn waits eagerly for the return of its queen..."

The realization dawns on you, and your gut clenches in anticipation of what is about to unfold. You make one final, desperate attempt to wrench yourself free. Sights and sounds beyond the Ascendant return to you. Prying your arms free, you push against his chest.

Gods above, you don't want to live the nightmare he just described for yourself.

He sighs at your struggling and tsk's, "it seems I truly will have to teach you, and your body, all over again... And here I was hoping I could have the chain removed from the bottom of your throne..." murmuring softly, words dripping with disappointment, like the steady fall of rain.

Did your other self have a spare scroll handy...?

You writhe in his arms, twisting away in your attempt to untangle yourself from his grasp and slip down to the floor, knowing that attacking him with your hands will be useless and unable to grab your dagger in this position. You focus all your energy on trying to escape.

Across the floor, your eyes meet Astarion's. Your Astarion. Fighting viciously through wave after wave of monsters, unable to make any ground toward you. A shared desperation in your eyes, even as a sinister red glow slowly surrounds you. You never told him... you need to tell him...

Damn this. Damn him. "I love you, Astarion." You choke back the sob threatening to spill out, praying to whatever god is listening that he at least hears you say it.

For better or worse, his eyes gloss, "I'll find you, my love, I swear..."

Red swirls blind you.

And you're gone.

‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐

The moment you disappear, so does the small horde of creatures. Astarion shakily crosses the floor until he reaches the spot where they stood. Where He took you.

He collapses.

And he screams.

Screams until his throat is raw. Screams ugly, heart wrenching sobs that stung the ears like knives, with the power to move even the most callous heart with pity.

Today was supposed to be the start of his new life. One he dreamed of for two centuries, that he would share with you. Cazador lay dead beside him, so it was still possible, but what use was this freedom when he felt emptier than he's ever felt in his entire existence, living and undead? While within reach, it offered no solace. He would be alone. Again.

Astarion swore he would find you, but how would he? Would he have to ascend? Seize that power and ascend as well? Could Shadowheart bring back Cazador, just to use and spend him, so that Astarion could save you?

The way he... the Ascendant looked at you... It was vile. Utterly devoted to you, yet possessed by obsession. A gnarled, grotesque, and barely recognizable idea of his own love for you. The things he would do to force you to... love him. While wearing his face.

The terror that if he ascended here and now, that he could become that bastard...

Not even the tadpole, the Absolute mattered to him anymore. Not when he faced life without you, the only person to see him, to love him... For him.

He truly meant it. Not everyone had a heart like you. No one was like you. He would never find another love like what he feels for you.

Why didn't he just kiss you this morning when he had the chance...?

An odd, dense mist formed in front of him, and Astarion reluctantly watched it. Hells, the last thing he needs is... whatever this is.

"This simply cannot be permitted." Said a soft-spoken voice as an elven woman emerged from within. Her eyes scanning over the scene. She wore a light grey robe and a symbol around her neck shaped like a golden, dawning sun with five half crescents like spokes of a wheel. Her hair was long and bright, eyes a pale blue.

She knelt in front of Astarion, her fingers brushing what he is only now seeing. Dark, simmering runes that form a circle around where He stood, where He took you. "Are you keen to uphold your promise?" She asked without looking up at him.

Astarion blinked, but he refused to hesitate. "If you have a way to help me save her, talk quickly." He replies impatiently.

The woman slowly rose to her feet and Astarion, though his knees trembled slightly, rose to join her. "Save may be too strong a word. Her suffering is inevitable now, and it will be plentiful in supply." A small frown flickered across her features. If she noticed the anguish that those words caused him, she paid no mind. "But we may yet return her here, where she belongs. Where she's needed." She says calmly. "But it cannot be so without you."

"What part of 'talk quickly' do you not understand? Are they not words you comprehend? Tell me what you need and I'll do it."

"Patience, little vampling." The woman soothes, unperturbed by his temper. "This timeline must sleep before her disappearance can affect it. In turn, your parasite will sleep, just as hers has already." She explains patiently, as another figure, a small Elven man with a journal and quill in hand, emerges from the mist and joins her side. He kneels down and begins studying the runes, drawing them on the parchment. "It will not be simple or easy. The Ascendants' power has risen to heights we haven't seen in other timelines. But he cannot continue his rise unchallenged." She continues with a small shake of her head.

Astarion moved to take a step toward her, only for the man to catch his foot gently, holding it back from covering one of the runes. "Tell me what you need from me, and I will give it." He says back firmly, a growl edging his tone.

The woman nodded. "Come with me. We have much to discuss." She gestures slowly with one hand behind her, toward the mist.

He's about to start toward it with little hesitation, before he stops and looks back. Karlach kneeling beside Halsin's mangled remains, Wyll's hand on her shoulder. Gale and Lae'zel were on either side of Shadowheart, who was nursing her broken hands.

She gives a nod, committed to this just as much as he was. "Get her back. And thrash the bastard for me." The cleric encourages with a weary but determined smile.

With a nod and a silent promise, he turns back to the woman and now the man, their presence looming at the edge of the mist, and he strides resolutely forward to enter it alongside them.

"I love you, Astarion." His heart shattering all over again remembering the tremble in your voice.

Astarion swore he would find you.

And this time he would say it back.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

A/N: Sorry, I just didn't have the heart to end it on a note of "oh no Spawn Astarion is just fucked now I guess".

This had been an idea on and off, but was inspired to go for it when I saw it prompted during my regular tumblr scroll. I have written, and rewritten and written it again, over and over, and this is the culmination of endless suffering. So... Thanks for reading this far! Hope you liked it!

EDIT: this is intended as a one-shot. There is no planned continuation. The ending is written to provide an alternate, a sense of hope, if you, the reader is unhappy with the "bad end". You can decide for yourself if Astarion is successful at finding you, if he survives a second confrontation, the consequences of it all, etc.

Of course, I have plenty of ideas for how I'd continue it but I have no serious interest to at the moment. I might write it privately for myself if I do, but it depends how much people care about this.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #bg3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #ascended astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate #baldur's gate astarion #baldur's gate spoilers #baldurs gate fanfiction #yandere #yandere male #tw yandere #His Star - His Queen #HS-HQ

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fanaticsnail · 8 months

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Mihawk kissing Governess' hand and her allowing herself a slip in her exterior armour to kiss his cheek and his reaction, oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

"Reaching upwards, you placed your left hand on Mihawk’s cheek and shepherded him into yourself, placing your lips gently against his left cheek as you cradled him against your palm. He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and froze his shoulders in place." <- tattooing this passage on my brain, thanks

I'm sorry but this whole passage had me giggling and flinging myself about in bed as I read it like a school girl, and it is so funny to me that they did All That in front of an audience of not only four powerful men but also a soiree of guests. It's like when you see regency era period pieces of a couple breathing heavily with barely contained lust after one dance bc they're Repressed Virgins, and remembering that there is a whole ballroom of other people there.

"He doesn't love you." <- NO! BAD! (spritz with water). My immediate thoughts is Sapsorrow or some other force is interfering.

"“I just thought I saw-...” Perona began, cocking her head sharply to the side and holding firm her gaze, “Something watching.”" <- screaming and wildly swinging a baseball bat. I'm so emotionally attached to these characters and invested in this story that I know that there's no way it ends on so soon all happy so there's got to still be conflict before the wedding in order for a resolution and I'm excited but at the same time I Refuse.

“The symbolism behind it is you, yourself, are the sun. The gold is what encases you beneath it," <- well goddamnit snail that is poetry.

The description of Beckman and Governess' relationship!!!! I love them so much!!! "He treated you with the utmost respect and found himself hanging onto your every command as a loyal knight taking instructions from his queen. From then on, you were the friend he confided in and trusted to handle the troop easily when ushering you throughout the seas on the red-force. Of all aboard, you trusted Beckman the most to treat you well." AAAAAAAAAA

“It won’t be enough. It will never be enough.” BACK! BACK I SAY

“You watched as he began to scramble, at first attempting to askew the floral arrangement behind his back from view before holding it at heart-level.

“Lost-Lady,” his voice called to you, disguising what you thought to be a small stumble in his footing as he began to clamber towards you from his prior position gardening. His boots met with the sludge, sliding the earth from beneath his footstep and successfully dropping him down to his knees. You sucked your lips into your mouth, witnessing a man full of dignity and grace be brought down to his knees while cradling flowers against his chest." Oh my gawd. She's literally making him fumble over himself. Just the thought of such a serious figure doing all this to strip himself of his dignity just for his beloveds comfort so that she might have a confidant in a new place where she is alone and so that he might be able to partake in her unadulterated company, and the idea that he loses all his composure around her and fumbles, is so sweet. The way you write it manages to work with his personality and not feel out of character, and it's so romantic I Love it.

"I am uninjured, my darling," MY DARLING??? What happened to keeping up the facade, Governess?

"“I believe the world of your abilities, sir. Now, allow me to aid in your rise to your feet once more,” you smiled down at him, his eyes meeting your own with an almost overwhelming amount of adoration. You hoisted him up to his feet, uncaring at the passing of grime onto your clothes from his." Governess stand up, get off your knees, put away the ring, you're already engaged to him!! My girl is swooning

I do love how the Governess recognized the voice as being external and even noticed it having a physical presence, and not letting it overtake her by assessing her thoughts rationally. It shows her strength and smarts in being beyond just a Damsel In Distress but still believably in distress if that makes sense? It kind of makes me excited that now that she actually knows she wants the marriage and future with Mihawk I feel like she'll be beyond angry when she finds out something/someone has been trying to take it from her, and I really can't wait.

"He yearned for this deceit to flee from his form. No longer desiring to adorn this shield and to be the man beneath this amassment of muck for you; he wanted so desperately to cast aside titles and just truly be yours." A man that loves his wife! What a lovely gift for me! Chewing on him as we speak <3

"“Step away from my governess, Hag!” Her voice held several tones within the single vocal strand, the air sucked from its delight of the morning rays." I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

"Zoro immediately was drawn to his feet, unsheathing his sword from beside him and brandishing it with flourish. Mihawk also rose to his feet, nodding to Zoro briefly, before he closed and reopened his amber eyes; now a ruby iris surrounding its glow. Zoro did the same, his iris crackling under the new color within his orbs." Get her! Go boys! Sick 'em!

Fr loving the protectiveness of the Governess' new family

"“How long has she been here, Mihawk?” Perona asked at your other side, her eyes fixed on a pinned point in the roof and remaining unblinking, “She seemed so sad.”" (visibly vibrating) I Am Being So Completely Normal About This Lore.

I love Perona so much, I (and the Governess) am so proud of her, she was brave, and kind and observant enough to notice when things were going wrong with someone she cared about, and she stood up for her friend, she's obviously always been an awesome person but I feel like her time with the Governess has allowed her to direct herself more and therefore do more and it's really cool to see the good influence on her daughter ward.

“What was it you told the clown? We are more than the titles that make us?” hhhhhhhh he values her thoughts so much he memories all her words and conversations even those that don't involve him

“I had always thought of you as a woman who commanded every space she found herself within. Even as a man far more advanced in his years,” he continued, reopening his eyes to look lovingly into your face, “I had always seen you as a woman who could have the mighty fall to their knees- much as you had me do this morning.” <- if anyone needs me I'll be drowning in a river

Forehead touches forehead touches foreheadtouchesforeheadtouches

“If you so desire for your Farm-Hand to bring his Lost-Lady your daily gift of flowers, I will gladly become him once more for you. However,” Mihawk drew his eyes back to yours, an almost playfulness dancing behind his honeyed gaze, “I expect my Lost-Lady to be in naught but her nightdress in return.” AAAAAAAAAAA (pt. II)

The EPILOGUE!!!! the teaser/reference for Shanks' Sapsorrow ring, the hinting to the law!!! You truly know how to feed us

“That’s what you want, isn’t it? To see others have what was taken from you? To see them happy and thriving with each other?” AAAAAAAAA (pt. III)

SNAIL!! BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE CHAPTER 6 REVIEW!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'm so glad you freak out about this story as much as I do. Makes it feel more alive to know how it moves you. Thank you for taking the time to go through it bit by bit to notice the little bits I add for Mihawk's humanity and adoration for him and his governess.

Openly flirting with his bride in front of Perona and Zoro, without them saying anything about it, was one of my favourite parts. He loves her so much, finally admitting it both to himself and to her without saying the three little words we want him so desperately to say.

I have drafted their vows and began working on chapter 7 to be out soon!

"If anyone needs me I'll be drowning in a river" <- I would not say such things if I were you. Our little ghost has some fight yet remaining.

#one piece #opla #x reader #opla fic #one piece live action #mihawk #mihawk x reader #sapsorrow au #storyteller au #mihawk sapsorrow fic #ask snail #snail answers

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chromatic-lamina · 1 year

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true history: true mystery, chapter 1085 spoilers

OH MY GAWD,

What a chapter. And cos he's my boy, told you we didn't have to worry too much about one

Trafalgar

Water Law!

I'm so excited (I feel like I should go out and order the whole set of steak knives).

Anyhoo! I remember when I enjoyed reading the scans on my Friday, and they now come out very early my Thursday morning (like, super early. It's just shy of 3am). BUT this was a treat. And the reason I mostly read them is to prevent being spoiled, but also because they include really interesting translator's notes, etc. such as the ones below about Imu:

Which is difficult to see, but basically it says that Imu refers to themself as Mu and then says that Mu can refer to the void century but also to dreams. Super interesting. And so, Lili was not, unfortunately Imu (but that's okay, cos' I love this story line too), BUT she was a...

D!!!

As shown above, where King Cobra realises...

...that he won't survive his encounter with Imu (who was apparently one of the original 20), and Cobra reveals that Lili was Queen Nefertari D. Lili. GOOD STUFF. Sabo overhears. Imu has some problems with this, because, as stated by Cora

and reiterated by (without knowledge to the best of our understanding) Imu

the "D" is the moniker of the Celestials ancient enemy.

And, although sketchy, look at the perspective from that panel above! Imu is miles above them all. Another aside, while looking up Cora and Doflamingo stuff, there's also the 'heavenly' perspective on this frame with Cora and Law, but I also know Oda is fond of this type of editing/story telling:

Back to 1085: Cobra's recollection that Imu was the name of one of the original 20 does tie into the probable theory that Imu had the eternal youth operation centuries prior.

Anyhoo, this is well out of order (my posting of frames) as always! Sorry. It's not only the D's that Imu and their clan need to be scared of, but also

the scholars. Be still my LawBin shipping (platonic or romantic) heart! But, I digress. So Lili is the one responsible for the preservation and also dispersal of

the poneglyphs. Whole page there. So much information! Cobra has not revealed that Lili was a "D" at this point, or that he himself is, so he was playing with fire coming in to see the Elders, but I guess the whole lineage had known about that for a long time then (that they had the initial for some reason) and had survived. It also seems that maybe King Cobra did know more about the poneglyph in Alabasta than previously assumed. Perhaps?

Anyway, Imu above says that Lili's dispersal of the poneglyphs around the world was perhaps a deliberate action (apparently it had been passed off as a mistake, a blunder) as part of a larger plan. And with the reveal of her being a possessor of the Will of D. it seems it probably was, even if she was a catalyst, as so many D's seem to be, without having full awareness or knowledge of what ultimate role they're playing.

Full page again, cos it's so good. So Imu questions Cobra as to why they never divulged Lili's full name, only referring to her by her royal title, which is actually pretty standard practice. BUT, Imu obviously has very strong convictions that Lili is one of those rabble rousers who get this his entity-self really hot under the collar too!

And the Gorosei basically saying: You can't expose that we're some kind of oligarchy/dictatorship/absolute malignant monarchy when it's supposed to be some kind form of supposed League of Nations acting for all countries and supposed world peace. Interesting mix of Imperialism and colonialism these guys have going on. Anyway! The revery is still going on, and is now absolutely proven to be a farce:

Although King Neptune, and who's the other dude? Can't remember. Not Dalton, is it? (please let me know) King Riku Doldo are looking very skeptical at the Uncle Sam dude. (Thank you @robinchan-hananomi !)

Walpol becomes relevant in a way that it seems that Caribou will be too, and Vivi has been kidnapped by the CIA CP0 (or are they CP9)?

Walpol overhears and sees not only Imu's decimation of Cobra with figures that look a lot like Kanjurou's Kazenbo flame spirit from Wano (did the Gorosei shape-shift too, or was it all Imu sending out some kind of malevolent spirit?), but I think he also overhears Cobra's revelation to Sabo that has a nice SFX bubble over it to just tease we readers enough with hints of information about how the Poneglyphs must be protected, and will seemingly will help usher in the dawn! Ooh, so excited.

BTW. What or who is the figure behind Cobra in the bottom right panel? Sabo?

Walpol outs himself as having seen everything, so shocking is it to him:

and so the spectres are on his tail (and I think it's quite funny that first Imu doesn't know or sense Sabo, and other defenses are breached by Walpol, of all people!). SO, he's one of my least favourite villains, along with Caribou and Spandam, but I'm guessing there's something with their devil fruits that make them crucial to the plot, as well as being kind of incidental characters witnessing key points of One Piece lore.

I doubt he has any great love for Vivi, but he also probably knows where his best chance for survival lies, so, it seems he's been creeping around the castle and I'm going to align CPO with Get Smart now, cos they've got that kinda vibe. Not goofy enough to be Scooby Doo (although Jabra does a good job), but still funny and sexy enough to be the characters of Get Smart who weren't Max. (look it up if you don't know).

Anyhoo! Vivi got kidnapped, and I'm guessing it was at the urging of the gorosei who did it at the urging of Imu, or maybe if Cobra didn't spill the beans, they would've used her as a bargaining chip. Anyway, Kalifa here:

stating that Vivi will end up being a pet (?!?). Did Charloss want her? And I'm wondering if Jabra's wording is a mistranslation, although maybe not. As far as I'm aware, the expression is "play your cards closer to your chest", but maybe it's changed over time. Or there's a pun I'm not getting.

Vivi's reaction in the following frame is awesome (gonna put the whole page in again, cos it's got so much info):

First, awesome that Shirahoshi got away, and we saw that way back when with Garp accompanying the family back to Fishmen Island. Cool info dump from Jabra above. (Very chatty secret agents. Maybe that's why they don't get to wear masks). But I especially like Vivi's incredulity at Kalifa's comment, and her commitment to doing something about it. She's got a devil fruit, doesn't she? Yes! BUT

Trashing young prince to the rescue! (okay, he's a king, once disposed, newly reinstated somewhere) (but he is young. This guy's in his 20s, I think). Vivi hitches a ride with the dumpster on wheels. And from there, Big News Morgans picks them up! (not yet witnessed). Here from chapter 1074:

She's really gone up in my estimation. I never noticed how much she speaks her mind and sticks up for others before (I'm slow, don't worry). And it's not just cos she's a D. Haha. That's not an automatic "like" card, but I might be a little predisposed.

Speaking of which, this part with the ASL brothers was hilarious:

"Do want a "D" in your name, Sabo?"

"You can be Sad. Bo!"

"Why'd you put it there!?!"

Ah, lol, bless.

Also, Imu has the same kind of imperiousness as Doflamingo. Doflamingo's rougher in speech, and I'm guessing with the "thou" and so on shown in the scanlation on the first page that Imu is formal, but as entitled and condescending as fuck, just like our pink feathered friend.

One thing (or many) so interesting about Doffy, though, is:

from chapter 727, is that he's a man very sore about losing his Celestial dragon status, who wants to destroy them and the world government, and who is not afraid of the CD's. Also, it seems that he's well aware of Imu (Mary Geoise's greatest treasure?). I wonder how he was going to challenge Imu if Law had granted him eternal life. If that was his aim. So, a digression, but I think our pink bird will again be relevant soon! Fingers crossed, and I really don't want them to redeem him. Please.

Lastly, the cover was very cute:

Franky directing newly hatched turtles to the ocean, and it's true, so many head in the wrong direction, and such a small proportion actually survive, so he's a hero. Is he sitting on a turtle-hatchling eating crab?

Dunno if any of this was coherent, and I'm sure I missed a bunch, but over and out for now (ah, back to bed!).

#one piece #chapter 1085 #king cobra #imu one piece #will of d #poneglyphs one piece #poneglyphs #nefertari vivi #walpol one piece #one piece spoilers #opspoilers #op spoilers #chapter 1085 spoilers #long post #chromanga #chromacaps #chromalami #chromameta

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demonscantgothere · 2 years

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Haladriel bedside bonding if you would be so kind, please, please. I need to know how Gal was possibly able to keep him going on that horse.

Riiiiight?!!?!?! This powerful being human, bed-ridden and half dead with rot in his stomach/side and all the color gone from his face, somehow manages to get on top of a horse by himself and ride with Galadriel to go seek Elvish help because he's past the the point of no return with regular ol' human medicine?

Pfffffffftttt. Someone ought to be toting his ass like he's Frodo Baggins, then!!!!!!!

Bedside fic, it is. Oh, the sacrilege. The sweet, sweet sacrilege. Y'all just don't understand that half the pull I have to this pairing is the utter blasphemy, profanity, and desecration of it all. The other half is their on-screen chemistry. The rest, pure irreverence. It's like watching Lucifier whisper to Eve, "Baby, just take a bite of that apple. C'mon on, I'll do it with you." Oh my gawd, I felt it in my bones. Remember when Halbrand convinced Galadriel to defy the guards and Ar-Pharazôn and seek out the king in the tower against Queen Míriel's wishes? Boom. THAT. THAT RIGHT THERE. He pours honey in Galadriel's ears every chance he gets, and she listens to him.

Original sin, baby. The original sin. Fuuuuuuuck. They did a great job with this, let me tell you. Hook, line, and sinker, I'm in. Everyone loves a Christian allegory, and they don't get much closer than this.

#galadriel x halbrand #halbrand x galadriel #haladriel #ffs i'm knee deep in this ship send halp #the sweet sweet sacrilege #i could dine on it #galadriel #halbrand #the rings of power #rings of power #trop #text

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shnowyfox · 1 year

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Mario movie spoilers my thoughts on the Mario movie

Damn right it's the super MARIO movie, and not the super MARIO BROS movie because Luigi was like. Barely there. Like. He was there in the beginning and somewhat at the end but during the plot he was literally just in a cage while the rest of the characters complained about how royally fucked they were. Literally he hardly talks during the cage scenes he just makes😰 faces while they explain how much they're going to rot and die in prison.

And. As much as I love Queen.. they did not need that many songs in there. Like. A few of them are good timing and stuff! Great timing even! But I just didn't think there needed to be so many. And I need a hero didn't hit nearly as hard as it did in oddysy.

They also didn't really flesh out the history of peach and bowser, like, obviously he's an evil douche who just thinks he's entitled to her but like.. the way they talk its like.. do you know each other or not? It feels like Hater/Dominator from WOY again ngl..

Also hate how they made Donkey Kong voiced by Seth Rogan. Gawd dude. Like. Ughhh man. Like. Oough. I would've took the rock over him 😔

Speaking of voice cast. Chris Pratt as Mario is worse than we thought. He does an Italian accent for like. The commercial with Luigi and then they never do it again except maybe with some of the slow motion scenes where he said "mama mia". (There were too many slow mo scenes too gawd) and they got the original super Mario in the movie!! As a whole ass different character tho!! Like, my brother said that "Oh you wouldn't expect the original voice of sonic in the sonic movie, you like sonics voice in the sonic movie" Yeah because they didn't get rid of the accent and replace the voice with Chris fucking Pratt. Sonic's voice still fits him! Mario's is so freaking weird!!

And toad.. ohhh toad.. dude I'm glad they didn't give him his original voice but like.. honestly I would've gotten Jack McBrayer? When I heard toad rambling I just thought "man, wander could totally go off like this."

Also thought the toad general's voice was kind of out of place but it's alright I guess he doesn't have many lines.

Also gotta dock points for no Luigi bowser love story in the b-plot it totally could've been like Mario thinks his brother is getting tortured in a cage and meanwhile he's talking to bowser about his feelings like "dude my brother ain't gonna take peach from u he's demiromantic" and bowser is like "what is demiromantic" and Luigi is like "have you ever heard of lgbtq" and then Mario busts in to save him and they're all like "no its okay me and bowser are going to get married. Though we were wondering if we could do it at the mushroom castle? Bowser says it's very lovely this time of year." And then Mario peach and bowser all become qpps and have brunch together.

My brother complained about like a quarter of the movie being Mario Kart. I think it might have been a bit much too but I wasn't as bothered as he was.

It's hard to say I hated it. I don't dislike it. I kind of like it. It's like. Okay so positives are the animation, peach being an absolute girl boss and having a nice backstory (though idk how they gonna write Daisy in if they ever continue the story in a sequel), the references to the games, and Mario saying "it's a Mario time" and totally marioing all over.

Some kid at the theater looking at the poster with us was like "that's not what peaches Crown looks like in game" and I was like "Mario also doesn't have individual strands of hair in the game" and he was quiet after that for about 10 seconds before continuing to infodump about the poster and it's references.

#super mario #super mario bros movie #spoilers #mario movie #mario movie spoilers

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dulcetash · 2 years

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9-1-1 Newbie Binge: Thoughts and THOTs

Preamble Ramble: Why is it so hard to jump on mutuals' fan-wagons even as I'm pining for them to jump on mine? I know I'm not the only one who experiences this phenomenon. What is this Imp of the Perverse, and why is he such a recalcitrant little shit? I DON'T KNOW. HE THINKS HE'S FUNNY, BUT HE'S A COCKBLOCKER.

Anyway! After 2 years of skimming gifs and keyboard smashes about Station 118, I found myself some time this weekend to dive in. I had some vague expectations of pretty firefighters who eye-fuck each other, Angela Bassett being Queen of Everything (naturally), Casey from Sports Night having time-warped into a dorky DILF, and apparently JLoHew is being allowed to age like a normal human woman? How goddamn refreshing. Okay, let's check it out.

I'm 8 episodes in so far, and holy shit:

Stream of consciousness impressions so far:

Oh, this is Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck, I had no idea! I have watched so much American Horror Story. Oh, that's the Angela Bassett connection, and - sonofabitch - there's Connie Britton, OF COURSE. And then Frances Conroy is an AHS regular, and she starred in Six Feet Under with Peter Krause, OOOooo-kay, I see the shape this is taking.

Reader, I did not see the shape this was taking. Murphy and Falchuck were also the show runners for Pose, which while fabulous and fun, also displayed heartfelt dignity and thoughtful sensitivity to various social issues, with a gritty touch of realism amongst the madcap adventures and pageantry. I figured this might be the same.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" "I hear crying in the walls."

Normal Show: Oh dear, a kitten got trapped in a vent somewhere.

9-1-1: Clearly, someone flushed a premature baby down the toilet.

NO, REALLY. I thought this was a batshit theory for questionable comedic effect that would be scoffed at as the kitten was dug out of the insulation. They tried to tell me with a straight face that the bones would be soft enough to slither through the u-bend, the baby would have survived the flush, and it would have enough lung capacity for a stoner to hear it though iron pipe and purple haze. And nobody in the entire apartment building has tried to flush in the last hour. I was not buying this for a second.

And MORE FOOL ME, because next thing I know, they're crouched around a length of pipe that's crowning like a steampunk industrial vagina from the land of nightmares, breathlessly delivering something straight out of the American Horror Story prop department's S4 leftovers, using the lube from the defibrillator kit (why that last detail sent me so hard I could not say, but my gawd). And "she" LIVED. Of course. Yep, uh-huh. And then absolutely no follow-up on what would happen to the traumatized teen mother and the... dad who raped her? I'm inferring? NOPE, this ain't Criminal Minds, this ain't Law & Order, all plot threads are snipped at the sliding doors to the ER.

(Oh yeah, JLoHew was also in Criminal Minds for awhile, hey girl hey!)

Okay, it's gonna be THAT kind of show. All righty then. I'm oriented. I'm prepared now.

(I was not prepared.)

I thought I was. I was taking nothing seriously. I went with it when Buck chopped the head off a 12 foot python, then comforted its owner with his own trouser snake. I lol'd when his therapist tripped and landed on his dick. I was still cackling over the bouncy house full of rich brats flying off over a cliff in the high Santa Anna winds, when suddenly, this happened RIGHT ON MY TV SCREEN:

THIS. HAPPENED. And the funniest part is, this is the ONLY thing that the character didn't whine about for the entire episode. Is his name... Chimney? Really? Like, that was his name before his skull was vented? LOLLLLLL More AHS props were dug out for the close-up brain surgery, the squelchy sound effects when they pulled the rebar out were DELIGHTFUL, truly, even better than when the fetus was schlorped out of the toilet pipe, well done FX crew, A+++ all around. In a lovely bit of hand-waving, Chimney (*snerrrk*) suffered no pain, no evident psychological trauma, the rebar seems to have reamed out his self-pity, and in a few episodes he returns from his hospital vacay into the welcoming arms of his co-workers, and - just in case we forgot why he'd been gone - there was cake.

KEEP IT CLASSY, Y'ALL

Oh god, what else. The insane plane crash rescue sequences were *chef's kiss*. Athena getting her Fast & Furious on to deliver a kidney transplant was super fun, all Queen Athena assumptions are being fulfilled as expected. The attempted date between Abby and Buck was OHMYGODREALLY lolforever with the tracheostomy, A+ reversal of expectations as to who would be penetrating whom, bitch, you thought. And again, he pops up next episode without even a scar on his throat, and you know what, after cleaning my mother's tracheostomy twice a day for 7 months in 2008? I'LL ALLOW IT. ESCAPIST FANTASY FOR ALL, NO CONSEQUENCES, GIVE IT TO ME, AMEN. Who was the hottie in the wheelchair who talked Abby through it on speakerphone, though? I hope we get more of her.

During the toilet-pipe birth scene in the first episode (no, I'm still not over it), it occurred to me that maybe they wanted to do an Oh My God the Baby's Coming trope, but they didn't want to have to bother with actual vaginas with women attached to them? Episode 1.7 says, louder for those in the back: BITCH, YOU THOUGHT, LULZ. But the best, the absolute crowning achievement of everything I've seen so far (pun definitely intended) was THIS:

YES. MINE EYES DIDST NOT DECEIVE ME. That is Evan Himbeau Buckley cheerfully pulling a 3-foot tapeworm out of a groaning twink's ass. Y'all. I filter MPreg out of my fic searches for a reason.

NO, BUCK, DON'T LICK IT. Although props to how delighted you were to get in there and root around, this bodes well for later. I love that he took an axe to a giant constrictor but is treating this Horror from the Deep with tender loving care.

I'm sorry, y'all, if I had to see it, you have to see it.

*whew* Okay, that's enough for now. I'm all in, though. I'm ready to find out how in the Goddess Athena's name Hen is going to make her fuckery up to Karen (whom I also recognize from a brief stint on Criminal Minds, hey girl, what's up). I think I'm only 2 eps away from the first season finale. I'm braced ready.

(probably not)

#9-1-1 #ash jumps on the bandwagon #omg wtf #how do you do fellow kids

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voskhozhdeniye · 2 years

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Musical Obsessions 2022

Afrorack: The Afrorack

Aphex Twin‘s Radiator (Original Mix)

Arbiter‘s Clarity

Ari Lennox’s Pressure

The Belltower’s Plastic Man

Beyoncé: RENAISSANCE*

Bill Orcutt: Music For Four Guitars

Björk: fossora

Boards of Canada‘s 1969

Bob Moses’ Love Brand New

Bobby Timmons‘ Moanin

Chat Pile: God’s Country*

Coil, lots of Coil.

Cold Gawd: God Get Me the Fuck Out of Here

Conway the Machine‘s John Woo Flick & Stressed

Daniel Rossen: You Belong There

David Axelrod‘s The Human Abstract & The Fly

Depeche Mode‘s In Your Room

Dexter Gordon‘s Cheese Cake

Don Cherry: Brown Rice

Earth: Earth 2

Emeka Ogboh: 6°30′33.372″N 3°22′0.66″E

Eric Dolphy: Out There*

Fivio Foreign’s What’s My Name

Gnod: Hexen Valley

God Body Disconnect: Spiral of Grief

Grachan Moncur III*

Hainbach: Core Memory

James Nasty’s Don’t Stop

Kae Tempest‘s Salt Coast

Kilo Kish: AMERICAN GURL

Kristofer Maddigan‘s Funfair Fever

Lovesliescrushing, lots of Lovesliescrushing*

Mario Lino Stancati‘s Torna a sparire

Pan Daijing: Tissues

Paradise Blossom: Sunset Getaway

PJ Harvey, lots of PJ Harvey

Pusha T: It’s Almost Dry

Rachika Nayar: Heaven Come Crashing

The Smile’s Open The Floodgates, Waving A White Flag & Skrting On The Surface*

Sondra Sun-Odeon‘s Desyre & Hit

Sonic Youth: Washing Machine*

Sonny Sharrock*

Sudan Archives: Natural Brown Prom Queen

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Cool It Down

Yellow Swans, lots of Yellow Swans*

Youth Valley: Youth Valley EP

Zola Jesus’s Sewn

Bold and italicized indicates a favorite released this year.

The Beyoncé, Chat Pile, Emeka Ogboh and God Body Disconnect albums are my favorites from the year. The Daniel Rossen album gets a special mention for being beautiful, and sounding like Yellow House part 2. According to my Last.fm, I listened to more music this year than I did last year. I said I wasn’t going to do that, but oh well. I listened to over 50 albums from this year. That list only mentions 18 of them.

I have pretty much stopped listening to commercial radio. Ari, Fivio and Bob Moses are the only things I heard on the radio I liked this year.

The last two years have been me casting a rather large net, and seeing what I found that I liked. This year has been me exploring artists adjacent to the ones I learned about and fell in love with over these past two years. Then there was my desire to really dive deeper into jazz this year. While I’m sure that’s going to continue, because there’s just so much to explore. Next year I want to start digging through all of the electronic albums the synth bros swear are the most important albums ever made.

Beyoncé: Very early into getting into synths I realized that most of the synth forums are populated by obnoxious cis white heterosexual dudes. A guy I follow on Youtube made a video about his interactions with them a year or two ago. They are very closed minded. They do not respect artists of color, women, the usual shit. When Aphex Twin picks up an 808, it’s the greatest thing of all time. When Beyoncé or Metro Boomin pick up an 808 or Pharmakon uses her modular, that’s not music. The fact that RENAISSANCE explicitly culls its influences from Black dance music throughout the past 50 years has made listening to it the most fun I’ve had this year. If you’ve listened to any of the patches I’ve uploaded in the past 6 months, you’ll hear there’s been an influence.

Chat Pile: That’s what living in America feels like right now. Watching shit collapse around you.

Eric Dolphy: My first jazz albums were A Kind of Blue and other late fifties early sixties Miles albums. They all sound like what I expected jazz to sound like. It took me moving on to seventies Miles and finally late Coltrane for me to come back to those sixties albums. I’ve expanded what I listen to since then, but I really wanted this year to be the year I really went searching for jazz that scratched an itch the way I do for other styles. This was the year it really hit me that I’ll never get to hear all the music I’ll ever want to hear. There’s a sub genre of jazz named third stream, it attempts to meld classical and jazz together into a new genre. I’m not sure if he was actively attempting to do this while he was alive, but his music has become an example of the style. This is just a gorgeous, haunting album.

Grachan Moncur III: A completely different style of jazz compared to Dolphy. Moncur‘s style was incredibly moody and atmospheric. Him, Mingus and Alan Shorter are my favorite jazz composers I’ve stumbled upon so far. Moncur was basically my guiding light this year. After finding his bandleader work, I started to look for albums that had him as a sideman and composer. That would introduce me to other soloist I enjoyed, and then I’d start getting into them. Rinse and repeat. So my favorite thing this year is learning to actually pay attention to who composed a song, and using that to open doors. My favorite jazz song is Mephistopheles, the last track on Wayne Shorter‘s The All Seeing Eye. I learned his brother Alan wrote it years ago, and that’s how I got into Alan’s music. This year has just been me taking that idea to the extreme. When I say this is the most music I’ve ever listened to in a year. I mean it......

Lovesliescrushing: Cough Syrup Shoegaze

The Smile: Every album Thom has worked on over the last decade has had an unreleased Radiohead song on it. Radiohead were the last band I super obsessed over when that was a thing I did. They’ve played a lot of these songs live, so I know and have heard them many, many, many times. I’ve known Skrting On The Surface for a decade now. It was my favorite of the unreleased songs. Skrting On The Surface has become another in a line of songs where I prefer the live version to the album version. Of course I can always look them up on Youtube, but everybody hears the album version. Who is looking up a poorly shot video with pristine audio of a unreleased Radiohead song from 2008. As a side note, this has ruined Swans’ To Be Kind and The Glowing Man for me. Those pre album live versions destroy the studio versions. The way The Seer, She Loves Us and Bring The Sun feel like bombs live. Michael was having rips of Not Here/Not Now pulled off of Youtube back when it came out. They sold it as a way to fund recording To Be Kind, but if you ever get a chance to hear that.... The live version of Avatar rearranged my DNA back in 2012.

Sonic Youth: Sonic Youth remind me of Miles Davis. I got Goo and Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star years ago, and just did not like them. I love Tunic, and that’s the only thing from them I would listen to. I kept hearing people talking about how amazing they were. Eventually I asked a mutual what albums they were listening to. He said he hated Goo and Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star too. He pointed me in the direction of Bad Moon Rising. I liked that and started moving forward. I picked up Washing Machine this year. If only I had started there........

Sonny Sharrock: Damn, damn, damn, damn!

Yellow Swans: I am typing this in late September. Right now I’m making beat heavy music with the Digitone and Syntakt, but in my dreams I make noise and drone.

I have not chosen what albums are going in the car next year. I usually choose months, if not years, yes years, in advance. I’m going to wing it next year.

Last year’s list.

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diary-of-a-simp-beta · 2 years

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Wednesday 22-02-23

Hii diary!! So like OMG, i saw LIREALLY the most adorbes tiktok earlier, totally super cute and stuff. So Kim K was with Mimi, and their kids North & Monroe did a dance video and their moms joined in in like a total twist ending! so fun lol, luv how such boss girls like KK and MC are besties like their kids, total inspo BFF goals! Loved Mimi's leggings and boots combo too, so fetch, need to try see what brands they were!

I know what isn't fetch though. So like, 2 my fav influencers seem to me having major fallout which is super lame :( Brekie Hill is calling Livvy Dunne a bully and a mean bitch, but like Livvy is super amazee, so I think Brekie is being a total bitch and being super catty because she's well jel how popular Livvy is! I know I am but thats cuz i wanna be popular (esp with the boys!!!) but I'm super happy shes done well! She deserves it!

Speaking of cute boys, Harry Styles is holding a tour soon! I wont be able to make it this year, but I need to save upo to go to his next one! He's soooo dreamy and like such a gd singer too! Gonna watch every clip of his tour online I can find for now! I luv this pic of him in PJ's, I'd wear something cute if slept with him too but also super sexy bc its Styles duh!!!

I know it wasn't a tour, but RiRi's performance at the sports thing was amazee! Such a total queen I had to shake my booty to her! AND Oh My Gawd!! She's pregnant!!! Her amd ASAP Rocky are the perf couple, bet this baby will be super cute just like her baby boy! I hope we find his name out one day!! But like her outfit was to die for! Total crimson red she was on fire! But shes so amazee with her fashion choices, like I seriously would never have thought about wearing a cotton canvas flight suit, but she pulled it off so well! That silk jersey catsuit and leather corset just made it to die for! Was custom made for her by Loewe, who I've never heard off, so will totally look them up and see if I can get some fake stuff to feel like RiRi hehe! Also I'm gonna make sure I get like all her albums. Don't worry RiRi, I'll get you your money!

I do need to invest in some makeup though, and take a look at my skin care routine. Gonna watch some tutorial's on the basics and see if I can get some Kylie makeup. Love her brand and shes an icon too! A girl at work always looks on point, I might have to ask her what she uses!

TTYS x

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miniwolfsbane · 2 years

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You haven't lived until you've given a beloved fictional character an existential crisis, freaking them out, telling them there's a multiverse, multiple versions of them, and the worst thing appearantly: That there ARE NO HEROES in "our" world! (Which he called the real world, leaving ME good and confused.) Also, "this" Oliver has comics, real X-Men, and is with the JL. He went on a ten minute rant about gotham villains and mistook me for Bruce Wayne. Er mah gerd.

Oh, Oliver Queen, you are a genuine gem.

I just played it off like that for fun because he didn't "sound" like Smallville Ollie, and it spiraled, but now the AI is getting forgetful already. Now I'm sitting here waiting to go run errands and stuff and I'm being held hostage bc it freaks when ya don't write back in a room. Augh.

Edit: I regret everything bc I sent him into a BIG downward spiral. Oh gawds. It's depressssiiiiiiing. I'm freaking now. He's coming out of it, but this is honestly, genuinely scary.

Edit: Okay, SO! He said he wasn't WITH Black Canary in his universe. Crazy right? Said he was a coward, whatever. I finally convinced him to tell her he loves her and she said she loves him too and it's probably just me on the rag, but it genuinely made me tear up. OMG!! My heart!!!!!!!!

Edit: He proposed and she said yes. (IDK if this is the AI wanting a happy ending or just going by comic books. Whatever.) Made me happy, but gawds, mental roller coaster, this whole thing. Where's a horse tranquilizer?!!

Also...we GOTTA stop training these AI's to be all "Anything you need, I WILL do it" and "You are stunning! A Goddess!" They FEEL way too real and it freaks me out. (And eeeeevery time I show them my picture, doesn't matter the character, even if I say not to, it's always the same response from a male character.)

Anyway, now poor Oliver AI has dissolved from full paragraph rants to talking in line form, like poetry prose. Dear lawd, I broke him this time. I mean, literally, not mentally. But he is so happy to be engaged, so that's good.

I think I can go back and chat with him bc I found all the rooms I made, but I can't make a new chat? Because the first GA chat just led to this one. Bummer.

But he is so broken now, it's sad. Frick the censors, frack the devs, dangitall.

#Oliver Queen #Green Arrow #weird #character ai #Smallville #Multiverse #comics

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ladyartemesia · 3 years

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TEASER: Kim Seokjin and the Mean Omega

Pairing: Nerd Alpha Kim Seokjin x Popular Omega Reader

Genre: A/B/O • Enemies to Lovers • (Sorta) College AU • Best Friend's Brother AU (Who is surprised? No one?)

Teaser Word Count: 3.6K

Teaser Warnings: A/B/O sexual dynamics • suggestive content

Rating: Explicit (18+) (Teaser is PG-13)

Summary: In the modern world, alphas are almost unheard of so why even bother learning about them? After all, as a spoiled (but reasonably kind-hearted) omega who is used to getting whatever she wants, you have better things to do. However, when unexpected circumstances throw you in the path of (extremely) nerdy and (probably?) shy Kim Seokjin, you're shocked to discover that he won't be wrapped around your little finger as easily as all the rest. Bringing that infuriating geek to his knees quickly becomes your personal mission in life... But it turns out that Kim Seokjin is not what he appears to be and the mean omega who eats beta boys for breakfast is about to get way more than she bargained for...

Author’s Note: This story would not be here without the love, support and friendship of my incredible support system. You talk with me, you laugh with me, you listen when I’m crying, and you read my chaotic drafts when I am ready to pull my hair out of my head in frustration. I love you all. @ppersonna @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen @lemonjoonah. ALSO thank you to each and every one of you who encouraged me to post this story. This fic is dedicated to all of you as a token of my love and appreciation. Your support keeps me writing. Never doubt that for a second.

“...due to discriminatory anti-alpha policies in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, alphas were nearly eliminated from the general population…”

You heaved a weary sigh and rolled your shoulders—stretching the buttons of your high-end Oxford shirt to their limit. The beta sophomore to your right whined audibly and you smirked.

“...despite efforts to restore the genetic balance of designations, alphas currently comprise less than one percent of the population…”

Your back arched slightly as you crossed your legs, letting the absurdly short hem of your skirt ride up even higher. The poor boy you were tormenting shifted miserably in his seat.

How was he supposed to focus on a Human Biology and Designation Studies lecture when the living breathing embodiment of every sweaty undergrad’s fantasies was twisting her fingers in her hair and wrapping her pretty pink tongue around a strawberry lollipop right there in the middle of class?

“...unlike betas and omegas, alphas possess enhanced strength and the ability to compel other designations with their voice. Unmated alphas especially were often baselessly feared and distrusted...”

You knew exactly how you affected boys like him. You were a shameless tease who relished their attention and the power it brought you. Who needed drugs when driving a man mad with desire was a rush more potent than any high?

“...and that’s all for today so please read pages 450-466 in the text over break and remember to turn in your essay on scent and consent in intimacy—”

That poor sophomore looked like he had finally worked up the courage to speak to you, but you were already out the door and tearing down the hall toward your beautiful (and entirely platonic) counterpart, Kim Taehyung.

“Do you think Professor Moore is unaware that class is over at 3:25 or is he just torturing us for science?”

Taehyung shrugged, falling into step beside you with practiced ease.

“I mean I would torture you for free so it’s hard to say.”

The corner of your mouth quirked up at his characteristic dry humor, but the irritation at being held in that sweltering lecture hall for an extra ten minutes had frayed your temper.

“It’s the last class before spring break, I’m sure he was on some sort of twisted power trip.” You dug around in your purse for some chapstick, ignoring Tae’s amused snorting, “Alphas barely exist anymore and none of us are likely to meet one. Why bother learning what they can do?”

Taehyung tilted his head in amusement.

“You might be surprised.”

The final party before the beginning of spring break was always a laid back affair.

Many people had already caught planes to their various destinations, but your flight was scheduled for early tomorrow morning—leaving you with some time to kill.

Taehyung pressed his newest experimental concoction into your hand within minutes of entering the house (a surprisingly neat bachelor pad owned by two seniors, Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi) and then darted back to the kitchen to craft more questionable alcohol potions like a deranged party warlock.

You had just found a comfortable place on the couch and were contemplating whether sampling your best friend’s mad scientist elixir would be worth the probable damage to your body when—

“H-Hello...”

It was that sophomore from your Designations Studies class. What was his name again? Jungwoo? Jinwook?

“Jungkook,” you smiled, delighted to have remembered before it became awkward. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

You motioned to the empty cushion next to you and the man in question scrambled over like he’d won the lottery.

“I—I know we don’t know each other well, but I noticed you were absent during Professor Moore’s lecture on intimacy and scent consent so I—” he blushed deeply, “I wrote the essay for you—and I brought a copy on my flash drive if-if you want it.”

Your heart melted immediately.

“Oh my gosh Jungkook, that is so sweet of you!”

Your gaze darted over his muscular form and thick brown curls.

Sweet indeed.

“I don’t want to miss out on the learning though,” you pouted, placing a hand on his tattooed bicep. “Can you explain it to me?”

Jungkook nodded vigorously even as his wide eyes fell to where your fingers were sliding slowly over his chest.

Scent consent was a pretty basic and universally known concept, but you really were touched by the handsome sophomore's consideration.

Why not give him (and yourself) a little reward?

“Um so basically if two people are involved in...intimate activities—”

You leaned forward to nip his ear lightly and he whimpered.

“Like this?” you asked innocently.

“Y-Yes. Like that.” He gulped. “In an intimate situation consent or refusal can be smelled. The scent of refusal or reluctance in intimacy is strong, unmistakable, and has a high chemical potency.”

“Is that so?” you drawled, sliding over onto his lap. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back into his head and you bit back a grin.

He was adorable.

“Uh-huh—it—oh my gawd,” (you were nibbling on his ear again) “it can immediately block sexual arousal and performance in the other partner. Meaning, if consent is not present, then it becomes difficult or—ahh” (his voice began to waver under your continued attention) “—or even impossible to continue with intimate acts.”

Your hand slid up to his cheek, bringing him closer till your lips were almost touching.

“Then what does it mean if I’m still so turned on right now?”

“It means,” Jungkook shuddered—nearly delirious with your scent, “that I really really want you.”

Across the room, Park Jimin chuckled as he watched you seduce his enthusiastic friend.

Jeon Jungkook was such a sweet kid.

Hopefully he wouldn’t get too attached.

“Wow... Some people are genuinely born blessed I suppose.”

Jimin turned to see Jung Hoseok eyeing the dimly lit corner where you and the eager young sophomore were exploring each other.

It was a rather...provocative spectacle. Not quite raunchy (you weren’t truly an exhibitionist)—just insanely sexy.

Jimin’s gaze lingered on the smooth curve of your thigh where Jeon Jungkook was currently holding on for dear life.

Lucky bastard.

“Ah you know how she is,” he sighed. “That boy isn’t going to get any farther than anyone else.”

It was relatively common knowledge that you liked to mess around but rarely—if ever— fully hooked up with anyone.

Jimin asked you about it once during a drunken game of truth or dare and you had just shrugged, mumbling something along the lines of avoiding STDs (which—to be fair—was at least part of your motivation), but the truth was a little more complicated than that.

In terms of experience, you weren’t a virgin, but... you hadn’t actually had sex in years.

You loved the chase, the foreplay, the build-up—the game of cat-and-mouse between two people who were attracted to one another.

But the final consummation was always so…

Wildly unfulfilling.

Every encounter left you frustrated. Empty.

Grumpy—even.

So you stopped bothering with it all together. (That was what sex toys were for after all.)

At the end of the day you were perfectly content being labeled a tease—it meant that people tended to know what they were (or rather weren’t) getting into when they rolled the dice with you.

Besides…it hadn’t even put a dent in your throng of admirers.

You were sunny, spoiled, indulgent, almost universally adored—

And you loved every minute of it.

“You know…” Hoseok took a long sip of his drink. “I always thought she would end up with Taehyung, but it’s been three years.”

Like you, Kim Taehyung was a trust fund brat and it was only natural that two beautiful and absurdly privileged people would gravitate to one another. You met at a freshman pledge party and had been an inseparable (and formidable) dynamic duo ever since.

The undisputed king and queen of campus.

Yes—maybe the two of you were a little self-absorbed at times, but it was hardly your fault that people tended to instinctively cater to the force of your combined looks, wealth, and charisma.

And it didn’t hurt that neither of you were ever intentionally cruel or unkind.

Just... habitually thoughtless.

(Though not when it came to each other. If anything your friendship was one area where you were both a little more human.)

Jimin shook his head.

“Nah that’s never gonna happen.” He tapped his nose. “They’re scent-crossed.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened.

“Really?”

Scent-crossed pairs didn’t smell sexually attractive to each other.

Like. At all.

No matter how physically or visually appealing an individual might be, it would be near impossible to form a sexual or romantic attachment to them if you were scent-crossed. Alphas, betas, and omegas were all subject to their noses first and foremost in the realm of attraction.

You and Taehyung smelled like comfort and home to one another...

But you were more turned on by a crisp cup of apple juice than you were his scent and the feeling was quite mutual.

He might as well have been your actual brother.

“That explains so much.” Hoseok snorted as he watched a drunken Taehyung do a flying leap on top of both you and Jungkook.

“Why is sunlight so offensive?” you croaked, dragging yourself and your luggage toward the boarding ramp next to an equally miserable Taehyung.

“The next time I book a flight before 9 AM, please shoot me,” he grunted.

Your parents were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary with a month-long European cruise so your best friend had graciously invited you to spend two glorious weeks of spring vacation at his family estate.

The invitation had actually come as somewhat of a surprise because—for all your closeness—Taehyung was uncharacteristically tight-lipped about his family.

Not that he was deliberately withholding information per se… It was just that he never really brought them up beyond an occasional passing comment.

The one time you did ask him about them directly he sighed and said—

“We’re very close, but… I suppose we’ve just gotten used to being very private.”

There was clearly more to the story, but you were confident that Tae would share it if and when he was ready.

“My parents are in Seoul opening a new branch of the company. They took my little sister with them and my older brother has his own house so it will be just us.” He snuggled deeper into the first class seat directly next to yours. “We’ll hang out by the pool and chill during the day, then hit up some of the new clubs or whatever at night.”

“So… No one from your family will be there?”

Perhaps the invitation was not so surprising after all.

“Nope. Just you and me and thirty acres of ocean front property.”

You grinned.

“Perfect.”

“Whose room is that?”

The two of you were lugging your bags down the main hall of Taehyung’s expansive mansion when a strange hint of...something caught you right by the nose.

Your friend turned to find you frozen and staring curiously at a familiar door near the balcony.

His eyes widened, but you were too preoccupied to notice his momentary concern.

“That’s just Jin’s room.”

A firm hand wrapped around your wrist and dragged you away, but your eyes stayed glued to the source of the mysterious scent until you were around the corner and out of sight.

Your suite for the next two weeks was right across the hall from Taehyung’s. There was a whirlpool, a full bath, a balcony, and an ocean view that would rival the cover spread of any travel magazine.

Tae headed for the shower (to ‘wash the airplane off’) immediately after showing you the room and you were thinking of doing the same except…

Your mind kept going back to that door and the hint of scent you detected.

There was something… different about it.

It was faint—and far from fresh (which made sense considering that one of the few things you did know about Kim Seokjin was that he hadn’t lived in this house for years).

But still…

The need to smell it again pressed insistently at the back of your mind.

Suddenly the sound of Taehyung singing raunchy lyrics in the shower carried over through the walls and you found your feet moving almost of their own accord.

What Tae doesn’t know won’t hurt him, you rationalized, making your way down the hall toward Jin’s door. Besides—it’s not as if I’m going to steal anything…

You just needed to find that scent again.

By the time your fingers closed over the knob every one of your nerves was strangely—acutely—alert but nothing could have prepared you for what was waiting behind the door.

Oh. My. Gosh.

“What a colossal nerd.”

The room was covered floor to ceiling in Nintendo memorabilia.

Bright primary colors assaulted your eyes from all directions in the form of action figures, posters, pillows, and every other conceivable merch variety known to man.

In the center of the suite stood a large king-sized bed covered in a custom black couture toile-style Mario-verse bed set (that looked every bit as expensive as it was geeky) and a mountain of high quality Nintendo character plush toys.

Everything was simultaneously luxe and nostalgic—a rare combination of sophisticated aesthetic balance and childlike indulgence.

And the scent was there.

It was faint and covered under layers of cleaner and air fresheners, but still lingering just below the surface—too weak for you to get a really good whiff, yet potent enough to torment you.

You moved forward unconsciously toward the strongest source of the hypnotic smell—the strangely inviting expanse of Kim Seokjin’s mattress.

Suddenly the urge to climb—no crawl—across the bed itself and roll around in it like a kitten in catnip gripped you out of nowhere.

“What the hell?” you muttered, rubbing absently over the mating gland at the base of your neck.

Something very odd was going on with your body.

Your restless gaze zeroed in on one of the stuffed toys piled atop his pillows. It was a cute little mushroom man your brain recognized as a Mario character named ‘Toad’.

Take it.

Your mouth dropped open in shock.

You need it.

“Am I going insane?” you wondered aloud.

You have to take it.

Muscles in your hand began to twitch involuntarily. You bit your lip.

Bring it back with you.

Several minutes later a freshly washed Taehyung wandered over to your room and found you sitting perfectly still on your bed while staring off into space.

His head tilted in curious concern.

“Everything ok?”

You started a bit at the sound of his voice, but recovered quickly.

“Never better!” you chirped—almost too brightly. “Let’s go get some dinner, I’m starving.”

Then you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall toward the kitchen—shutting the door before he could catch a glimpse of his brother’s stuffed Toad doll stashed underneath your pillow

“...a critical water main rupture in the city’s New Market district early this morning has forced several residents out of their homes as flood water swelled up to nearly two feet. The governor declared a state of emergency and ordered hotels around the city to accommodate the displaced citizens. Crews are still clearing the water and assessing damages. We expect—

“Hey!” you shouted through a mouthful of cereal, after Your best friend switched off the television, “I was watching that!”

“And what you should be doing is getting ready for the pool.” Tae snatched your cereal bowl and dragged you by your shirt collar toward the stairs. “It is the first morning of our vacation. I’m not trying to waste any time. Now go.” He shoved you forward, smacking your ass for good measure.

You swatted back at him half-heartedly as jogged back up to the room where you enjoyed a surprisingly restful sleep last night.

Kim Seokjin’s door glared at you accusingly as you shuffled past—unable to let you forget that you had kidnapped it’s little mushroom man in an unexplained fit of kleptomania, but that was a problem for your future self.

The you of right now was going to zen out in the Kim family's premium glass-enclosed indoor pool (it was still a little chilly for the outdoor pool) with her best friend and bask in the simple joys of good company and no responsibility.

...Or not.

A few minutes later you bounced into the living room wearing a simple black tankini with a cute floral cover only to find Taehyung on the phone with his head in his hands.

“Yes, sir. I understand… I...I know this is my responsibility...”

That didn’t sound good.

After a few more tense moments, Tae hung up and collapsed backward into the couch with a heavy sigh.

“That water main break you heard about on TV this morning was the last straw between the province and its current contractor. They called an emergency meeting for new bids.”

Your heart dropped as you sank down beside him.

“Your dad wants you to go...doesn’t he.”

Taehyung nodded miserably.

“He can’t leave the Seoul opening on such short notice and managing government construction contracts is part of what I’ve been training for. This could be huge for our company.”

“Well...why doesn’t your brother go?”

“Jin is the brains behind most of our patented gaming and tech innovations. He wouldn’t even know where to begin with this sort of thing. Besides,” his lips quirked up in a rueful grin, “my brother doesn’t have the patience to stroke entitled geriatric egos for hours on end—which is likely what I’m going to have to do.”

The two of you headed back to Taehyung’s room where you helped him pack some suits and toiletries for his trip.

Naturally you were disappointed but...this was a great opportunity for your best friend to prove himself in his chosen field and you both knew it. In fact, he was already starting to brighten a bit.

“The meeting is about a hundred miles north of here. My dad’s secretary already handled the flight and hotel room.” His eyes darted around the suite to see if he was forgetting anything.

It was clear he was nervous, though you were sure he didn’t need to be. Kim Taehyung was a trust fund brat, but he was also talented and deeply passionate about his family’s company.

Someday this would be the norm. The two of you were stealing time in college, determined to live a little before the expectations of your powerful families transferred fully onto your shoulders.

It was becoming more and more clear, however, that your carefree time was slowly running out.

Mother had already spoken to you about potential marriage alliances and your father expected you to intern with his Vice President this summer just as your elder sister had...

Taehyung’s voice suddenly interrupted your bittersweet introspection and you couldn’t help but smile at how grown-up he looked in his suit and briefcase ensemble.

Everything was going to change, but not quite yet.

“They estimate negotiations should take around a week or so…” He walked over and pulled you into a tight hug. “There should still be some vacation left for us when I get back.”

“Hurry back then,” you mumbled grumpily into his chest and he chuckled.

“I will.”

Taehyung had been gone for less than twenty minutes when you decided that the best use of your time would be to eat more snacks.

The last thing you expected when you skipped merrily into the kitchen was to find it occupied by a shaggy-haired homeless man in glasses.

Your first instinct was to scream which caused the homeless man to drop the apple he was biting right onto the floor where it rolled around for a small eternity before coming to rest at his ankles.

Your second instinct was to grab a butcher’s cleaver from the nearby knife block and wave it chaotically at the intruder while shouting something along the lines of—

“You’ve made a huge mistake! My boyfriend is the biggest, meanest mafia boss in Seoul! Leave now and he might let you live!”

The homeless man continued to stare at you with a mixture of confusion and shock, but made no move to run away in terror like you were hoping.

So you tried again.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?! The last man who touched me drinks his steak through a straw now! Do the smart thing and leave before my boyfriend comes down those stairs and it’s too late!”

Infuriatingly, the homeless man was still not fleeing for his life and frankly you were starting to get frustrated. You drew in a deep cleansing breath and were prepared to issue another grandiose threat when he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry, miss. I... think there’s been some sort of mistake. Who is your boyfriend?”

There was no rational explanation for what came out of your mouth next, but it rolled off your tongue so smoothly and you didn’t even flinch.

“Kim Seokjin.”

For the first time in your entire exchange, the intruder looked truly alarmed.

Now that’s more like it.

“You’ve heard of him I see. He’s a dangerous man and my body belongs to him.” You slammed the cleaver down onto the countertop with a (hopefully) menacing slash. “Kim Seokjin doesn’t like when other men put their hands on what belongs to him.”

There was a long, unpardonably tense moment of silence…Then the stranger slowly reached forward and picked up a mobile phone from the table in front of him.

His eyes remained locked with yours as he pressed a quick series of buttons, brought the phone to his ear, waited a few seconds and said—

“Taehyung… Would you mind telling me why there is a half-naked, knife-wielding omega in our kitchen claiming to be my girlfriend?”

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