#being happy or living a life of his own and then in the last episode they're like 'this was a good thing ☺️' like girl WHAT
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soft4gguk · 10 months ago
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yearning | jjk one shot
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the one that finds you in Jungkook's doorstep after a night out...
Description: idol!jungkook x reader, fwb 
Content: porn with loads of plot!
Word Count: 7.5k
Warnings: oc smokes 1 cigarette lol, they’re so flirty ouch, so much kissing, cutest little dynamic, dry humping (a personal fave in this house), fingering, protected sex (they’re so smart!!), loads of spanking, jaykay ass man forever. 
Author’s Note: i once sworn to never write idol aus because… i know nothing about this man ok? i do not claim to know what he’s like in a relationship or a situationship or in his personal life!! so please thread carefully when reading <3333 that being said, his lives last year and these first couple of episodes of “are you sure?” have me feeling very delulu so here u go!! hope you enjoy xo
★ masterlist ★
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
The moment you exit the club, a gust of summer breeze engulfs you. It makes you wrap your arms around your body, but it amounts to nothing, the little black dress that you’d made the executive decision to wear, in the name of fashion, betraying you. The tequila shots you'd downed before leaving the house sure had deceived your senses, too.
Needless to say, you regret said decision, a shiver running down your spine all the way to your legs, making you jump a little in place as you tipsily look around you. You’d cut the night short. Your friends had found another lonely pair they’d quickly gotten cozy with, leaving you to drink one too many gin & tonics all by yourself. You hadn’t minded it for the first two hours, enjoying the music, sparking conversation with the bartender from time to time and entertaining the occasional stranger. Eventually though, it became boring, predictable, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel a little shitty about yourself. 
It was all getting repetitive. Friday nights, the same faces, small talk, ice breakers. Even the strangers you met had a similar M.O., making it all seem predictable. It made it feel like a waste of self, more than a waste of time, and it ate at you in moments like these, where it was strange to feel lonely amongst a sea of people, unable to shake the feeling.
The bright city lights illuminate the night, lacing it with something livelier than your mood and you smile. At least the scenery is always pretty. Pretty places. You hear the laughter of a group of people that stand a couple of feet away from you, they seem happy in that genuine way that reflects in pure, unadulterated beauty. Pretty people. 
You think of him. 
It’s rather instant. Or perhaps instinctive. The very own butterfly effect of your thoughts because to you, he’s the prettiest of them all. He’d been since the very first day, and as you lose focus of the pretty sights the more you stare into the city lights with him on your mind, you can’t help but think nothing will ever stand close. 
A girl stands next to you, audibly shivering as she exits the club and the air greets her with the same fate it did you. She holds a cigarette between her red lips, the fire from her pink lighter shining on her red hair. It makes you crave one, too, rummaging through your bag for your own. You smile when you remember how he would tease you for smoking “the skinny kind” as he would call them. Calling you a bit of a snob, but all in lighthearted nature. After all, he could. He knew you enough to let your closeness turn into inside jokes, banter. 
Perhaps giving into a vice could prevent you from falling into another. 
“Can I borrow your lighter?” she smiles at you before she’s handing it over. Her nails are pink, too. 
The fire feels pleasant for all of five seconds, warm against your face as you take the first drag. You give into one instinct so as to distract yourself from the one that’s tugging at your heart and senses, begging you to make a reckless call. 
You check the time. 
2:32 A.M.
~
Jungkook scrolls through the endless list of channels aimlessly. Small snippets from whatever’s playing that he cuts short, not really giving it much thought. He settles on one, solely so he can stop putting exertion on his thumb and go back to leaning against his couch – fully relaxed. He sighs. On the screen, some drama he hasn’t gotten around to watching plays, and the story seems to be developing quickly. He doesn’t care for it, if he’s honest, simply content with the white noise it fills the room with. 
Bam leaves his dog house, standing right in front of him and they seem to start an unspoken staring contest. He smiles, patting the spot right next to him on the couch and the pup rushes to take the place excitedly. He gets cuddles and kisses simply for existing. For keeping him company – his presence giving Jungkook more peace than he’ll ever know. 
“Hey, Bam, should we, like, meet up in our next life as well? Perhaps I’ll be the dog in that one and you’ll be my owner.”
Bam simply stares and Jungkook swears if he could, he’d let out a deep sigh right now. This makes him laugh. 
“Hey, don’t be jumping of excitement at the idea, man.”
At this, he attacks. With kisses, that is – wet, sloppy kisses that have Jungkook giggling and pushing back, though it is no use, his dog is that determined to give him love.
“Alright, you win. Let’s go get a beer. For me, not for you. You’re still too young. One day, son.” His voice takes on a lower tone, imitating his father. Or maybe Yoongi’s, he can’t tell anymore. 
He retrieves a cold beer mug from his freezer and cracks the can open, nodding his head at the sound it makes, the fizziness bubbling up before he pours it in the cold glass. He takes a sip as he walks back to the couch, blissed out in leisure.
He doesn’t mind being alone, specially not on nights like this when sleep leaves him and everything but seems more tempting. He likes the way everything slows down at this time of day, the ease of it all. No one to see, no texts to reply to. As for what the world is concerned for, he’s asleep. It’s peaceful, just being. 
Plopping down on the couch, he rests against the pillows, making himself comfortable. He must’ve spoken too soon, he thinks, because it’s not thirty seconds after this that his phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of him. He ponders on the possibility of simply ignoring it, let it sit there, facing down. But something tells him he should check the message. It could be important, or not. The pull isn’t necessarily violent, just a quiet voice that tells him so, like a little nudge. He leans forward, setting his beer on the table before he’s taking a hold of his phone. 
He gets it now – the pull. 
From ___: jungkookie, u awake?
To ___: no
From ___: can I call?
He smiles – so fucking big he almost hates that he does, slightly flustered and embarrassed you have this quick of an effect on him. And before he can talk himself out of it, he calls you. 
~
Seeing his name flash on your phone screen does more to you than anything you’ve deemed exhilarating tonight. The simple prospect of hearing his voice rushes more excitement through your body than any of the mindless conversations you had this evening. Than any of the conversations you’ve had all week perhaps. You smile and there’s no doubt that he can hear it in your voice when you say,
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
There’s a moment of silence and you can hear the smile on his face, too. It’s warmth – he’s warmth, even far. How far is he, you wonder. Did you happen to demand of him at a bad time? Will the end of this call find you disappointed?
You cut to the chase. 
“What are you up to?”
There’s a pause and you can hear the way he sinks into his couch. “Can’t sleep so I’m having a beer and watching some TV with Bamie.”
He’s home and a giddy giggle escapes you. “Ahh,” you say.
“You? It sounds busy in there.”
“Yeah, I’m outside the club.”
“Fun night?”
“No.” You don’t lie, you never lie to him. Don’t have the need to, or the want to. Everything about Jungkook is comfort – the kind that welcomes. 
“Yeah, had a feeling. It’s not really your scene, is it?”
Your head leans to the side, eyes closing for a moment. He knows you in ways most people don’t, and it’s a simple remark but it gets to you. The fact that he doesn’t see you for the parts of you that feel the emptiest settles on your heart. It’s good, you think, to be seen by someone who observes.
“I want to see you.” There’s all the point in the world to be honest right now. 
“Come over. I’ll make you ramen.”
“Will you show me your cat?”
There’s a pause. You picture him smiling, biting his lip, running a hand through his hair. 
“Yeah, that too.”
~
You sway from side to side, a little drunkenly and a whole lot excited, as you stand in front of his door. It’s brief, but as you wait you make a little reflection on your emotions. What exactly do you feel right now? It’s been so long – probably not that long – but long enough to make you happier than usual to be seeing his face. Anyone else would make you nervous, and perhaps he does, too, if only a little. But it’s a different kind of nervous. It’s laced with sweetness, as opposed to anxiety. And the minute he opens his front door, it’s replaced by something sweeter. 
Yearning. 
He stands there, glasses and black sweatpants on, signature oversized shirt – something so very home about him. Your eyes widen as you take in his hair, it’s grown significantly, giving you a rough idea of when it was you last saw him. Two, three months ago. He looks good; rested, fresh, beautiful. You can smell him before you even touch him and it makes you smile. He returns it. 
Yeah – yearning. 
“I like your hair,” you say, because anything else would give you away. 
“Yeah?” he runs a hand through it. “I like you.”
“I like you, too.” Let it give you away, you think. Who cares?
“Alright, well- it was nice seeing you.” He says, closing the door in a too casual, yet dramatic manner and you laugh, simply standing there – a little flustered because, oh does it feel good when Jeon Jungkook flirts with you in that boyish, teasing way only he knows how. 
He doesn’t close the door all the way. Instead, he leaves it open far enough for you to see the way he peeks his head out, nose scrunch and toothy smile to signal just how proud he is of himself right now. 
“Come here,” he tells you, reaching his hand out from the little gap and pulling you closer as you yelp, squeezing through the nearly closed door. “I missed you.”
You’re in his arms again, and the moment he closes the door behind you, his lips are on yours. It’s a soft kiss, one that says I missed you because you know him well enough by now to understand the things he says with his lips, and his eyes. With his hands, too.
“Mm,-“ you don’t want to pull back to get your words out, so you don’t. “Me more.”
Jungkook was always a happy coincidence – or at least that’s what you told yourself in a futile attempt to tame the feelings down. But the truth was that being back in his arms felt like fate, in that gentle way that doesn’t come in a movie-like encounter or in some sort of catastrophe bringing you together. Just being here. Anywhere, with him, felt fateful. You opt to believe in angels right this second just to thank them. 
“How are you,” his hand cups your cheek, pecking your lips before you can answer. 
“Good- better now.” His kisses muffle your words and you think you could live with this interruption for the rest of your life. 
“Yeah, me too.”
You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as he circles his around your middle. You take him in, not one for big displays of affection yet this one you could never deny, could never not welcome. 
It’s a sweet moment but the pull turns hasty soon enough the more your lips become familiar with one another yet again. You run your fingers through his long hair, rejoicing in its softness and length. His hand travels down, slowly but a bit desperately, squeezing when they meet your ass. 
What has a promising ending is cut short by none other than your rumbling stomach. It’s rather loudly and you both hear it, laughing in the middle of the kiss you two seem to refuse parting from. 
“You hungry, baby?”
“You promised ramen. And something about a cat.” Your lips part and you look at him, a pretty smile on his equally pretty face. 
“Mm, yeah. I did. I’m all stocked up on ramen but the cat…,”
“I prefer Bamie anyways.” 
You leave his arms, a smile on your face as you walk towards his beloved child’s crate. The moment he sees you, he hesitates for a moment, not yet having Jungkook’s command to leave his space but he’s excited – you can even make up his little tail wagging from side to side. 
“Come here, baby.”
He runs to you and nearly tackles you, settling into the floor to give him the proper cuddles he deserves. He steps on you the way he did when he was a puppy, sitting down on your knees as you scratch under his ears. 
“No one’s allowed to tell him he’s grown up. He’s little forever.”
Jungkook laughs. “He’s Jiminie’s height.” 
You sneer at him, shaking your head at his joke. He stands there, staring at you with a fondness he reserves for certain things that bring him that kind of comfort that’s gotten rarer over the years. He’s grown up, matured and gotten real about a lot of things but not you.
Never you. 
You’re still the innocence he kissed you with that very first time and the little bit of fear it wouldn’t go further than that. You’re the excitement he had when it did. You’re the flirty teasing and the falling in trust, opening himself little by little. You’re still something he once dreamt about – he still does. You’re the thing he has and doesn’t at the same time. You’re you. 
Your loud giggles as Bam licks your cheek wake him up from his little daydream and he winces at the sloppy kisses he’s leaving. You don’t seem to mind though and he knows that if it were up to you, you’d stay there til dawn. No ramen, no cat. 
“Alright, alright. Daddy’s getting jealous now. You can’t have her all to yourself.”
Your cheeky smile tells him you’re up to no good. “Daddy, huh? Have we ever tried that?”
“What haven’t we tried?” He genuinely ponders on his own question. 
“Pegging!” You say, a little too quickly and excitedly for his liking. 
“Absolutely not.”
“Mean.”
“Come on, let’s feed you.”
You smile. “Okay, daddy.”
~
It’s a chaos in the kitchen in between distracting kisses and your tipsy antics, munching on Jungkook’s leftover fried chicken as you scavenger hunt his cupboards for anything that could satisfy your alcohol induced need for sweets and carbs. You’d begged for pancakes, but he didn’t have any honey, and what’s pancakes without honey, really? 
“Ramen. Enoki and spring onions.” He says, convincing himself more than he convinces you.
“Okayyyyy. Ramen, enoki- what else did you say?”
His thumb and pointer finger rest at his temples in mock exasperation, making you giggle. “Hey, why don’t you go shower? This’ll be ready when you’re done.”
“Will you be able to work a knife with the thought of me all wet and naked in your shower?” 
“I’ll get you wet and naked later. Go sober up. Quick, quick!”
You laugh, kissing his cheek loudly and ruffling his hair before you leave the kitchen, making your way to his bedroom with familiarity - like you’ve done it hundreds of times and perhaps you have if you were to count. 
You know where he keeps the towels, that it’s the left tap that opens the hot water, the way his soap smells and what brand of shampoo he uses. His face wash and moisturizer are familiar to you because it’s the same brand you use. You’d left them here once and never got the bottles back. He began purchasing them after they ran out. 
You put on the same black Carhartt shirt you always do. It feels and smells the same. It makes you yearn and when you miss him, you smile in the comfort of knowing he’s in the kitchen, probably eating ramen from the pot as you take your sweet time in the bathroom. 
All clean and cozy, his house always being the perfect temperature with the add on warmth that swarms your insides at knowing you’re with him, you make your way back to the kitchen. He’s reaching for bowls, back to you and your voice startles him when you say,
“Don’t get dishes dirty, let’s eat from the pot.”
He turns to you, a boyish smile forming on his lips at the sight of you in his comfy, oversized shirt. He’s seen you in it more times than he can count but it still makes his insides tingle. Butterflies, dare he say, is what the sight gives him. 
“You sure?”
“Aren’t you? Afraid of exchanging saliva?” You poke your tongue at him and he grabs your wrist, pulling you swiftly towards him. 
“Not the funnest way we’ve exchanged juices, but it’ll do for now.”
“Juices.” Your nose scrunches at his words.
“Mm.”
He kisses you, ramen getting cold in the pot as your lips make him forget all about his hunger in the first place. Your stomach doesn’t, though. Interrupting your heated little moment yet again. 
“Feed me.”
“On your knees, then.” He teases, lips still on yours. 
“That sounds more like a treat than a threat.”
He smiles, passing you the chopsticks. “I knew you’d say that.”
“Am I that predictable?”
“With me. Yes. Just me.”
His words are selfish, of this much he’s aware. He knows exclusivity is too much to ask for. He knows the baggage he comes with and the hesitation that shines through your eyes whenever you find yourselves slipping into comfort and familiarity a little too much. How he can almost tell he’s about to go a season without you, just by this comfort alone. But he can’t help but want you, all to himself. He can’t help but say you’re his even if he’s just saying it. And when the smile on your lips meet your eyes in an almost nostalgic way, he knows you feel the same. 
“Yeah. I am.”
“I am with you, too.”
“I’d say I tried to talk myself out of texting you tonight, but I’d be lying.” Your chopsticks play with the noodles, eyes not meeting his. 
“Why would you talk yourself out of texting me?”
You shrug. 
“Don’t.” His voice is firm and your eyes finally look at his. “I’m always- I always want to see you, ___.”
“I know, it’s just- you know.” You say, and he does. He knows what you mean and he’s glad you don’t voice it because he doesn’t think he can bear the words that would only add insult to injury to the way your gaze falls, that spark threatening to dim its light.
“Yeah,” he gets closer, but it’s almost careful. His thumb caresses your cheek and you lean into his touch. “But you’re here now. I want you here now. Come back to me.”
You stare into his big eyes, smiling at him not because your heart isn’t breaking but because you wouldn’t dare break his with the reality of the situation. So you lie, but it holds truth. “I’m always with you.” 
As you two eat, in bursts of comfortable silences and mindless yet meaningful conversations, you start to get used to him again. You’re too tired to fight it, and when you welcome it, it’s sweet. 
~
The pot is empty, your bellies full. You lean against the counter as he puts you to date, catches you up on what his life has looked like for the past two months or so. Trips to L.A., New York, photoshoots, late nights in the recording studio, music videos, long flights and a Calvin Klein campaign you shamelessly admit to swoon over every time you pass by it. He asks about you and you keep your updates mostly work related. Long flights, long meetings, long days. Short bursts of inspiration and even shorter waves of motivation. You omit to tell him about the things you’re maybe not so proud of. The partying, the drinking on a wednesday night, the way your friends don’t feel like your friends anymore, more like acquaintances that keep you around when they deem convenient. You think his words could help, provide comfort and advice, but at the same time you fear the reality of the situation could burst the bubble of bliss you find yourself in right this moment. 
So you talk. You catch up. You play friends for a while, feel real mature when he shares snippets of his life that involve other people, other girls. People in his radar, his line of work, the love interest in his music video. Jungkook does, too. Feels like perhaps he’s come a long way when you tell him about trips you’ve taken with friends, new restaurants you’ve tried, galas he knows you haven’t attended alone. It’s all fine, it’s good. Total control of your feelings as you take each other in. 
Bam interrupts him mid-sentence, a sleepy whine in half protest he lets out as he walks inside the kitchen. 
“Aw, Jungkook,” you coo, “he’s sleepy.”
“Time for bed, Bamie?” He smiles, reaching down to scratch under his ears. “I’ll be right back.” 
“I’ll be here.” 
You smile, well aware that he keeps his dog bed in a cozy room in his house, quite literally puts him to bed every night. It makes you think about how good of a dad he’ll make one day, how much love is stored inside of him, how he likes to be needed and shows affection through acts of service. Your smile drops a bit, a feeling taking over you that you don’t like but have grown used to over the years. 
You snap out of it, busying yourself as you begin to tidy up the kitchen, sliding his pink rubber gloves over your hands before you start washing the single pot, knife and chopsticks he’d used to make you dinner. It doesn’t take him long to be back, though, walking back inside the kitchen and smiling at the sight before him. You hum a song he can’t make up, hips shimmying to the beat as you scrub the pot. Your shirt rides up a little and he cocks his head to the side, smiling at the way your underwear peeks from underneath the fabric. A black and lacy thong that has him nodding his head in boyish satisfaction. 
“You don’t have to do that,” he tells you, making you jump in place a bit at the sound of his voice.
You turn around, bringing a gloved finger to your lips as you shush him before you’re pointing it at the couch and shooing him away. “I’ll only be a second. Wait for me there.”
“‘Kay, boss.” He army salutes you, turning around and walking back to the couch, sitting down and sinking further into the cushions, legs spreading as he scrolls through his phone, a bit impatiently, missing you even though you’re so close. 
And to Jungkook’s great fortune, he doesn’t have to wait for much longer. Wrapping it up in the kitchen, you give it one last glance to make sure it’s back to its pristine state before you’re making your way towards him. He looks up at you, throwing his phone to the side and following you with his eyes, smiling when you’re in front of him.
“Thank you for dinner,” you say, voice sweet and low, eyes a bit hazy.
“Come here.” He takes your hand in his, pulling you closer to him, bottom lip getting caught between his teeth as you throw your legs at either side of him, straddling him. 
“I needed this,” you admit.
“Me too,” he breathes. “I’m glad you called.”
You pout, eyes looking up for a second as you ponder. “You called me.”
He chuckles, not a single ounce of desire to deny you. “I’m glad I called.”
You giggle, arms wrapping around his neck and fingers getting lost in his long hair. His head draws back as your nails massage his scalp gently and he relaxes at your touch, goosebumps adorning his skin. His hands travel under your shirt, promptly finding your hips, waist, and then threatening to go higher but Jungkook wants to take his time tonight. He wants to stay in the sweet state of wanting you for a bit longer. When his eyes are back on yours, you kiss him. He sighs against your lips, bringing you closer to him by the waist, letting his tongue taste your bottom lip before he’s tasting your mouth. It’s slow, a bit sloppy and lazy, holds the quality of anything that happens in the middle of the night, when no one’s watching and time stills for the two of you. 
“Your skin is so soft,” he says, lips still on yours. 
“It’s your body lotion.” You roll your hips over his, smiling when you pull a low groan straight out of him. 
“Yeah,” he says, hands traveling down before he’s squeezing your ass, guiding your hips into his. “You smell like me. I like it.”
“I like it, too.” Your words get caught up in a moan as the outline of his cock parts your slit perfectly. 
You pull away a bit hesitantly, hands coming to rest at his shoulders as your hips pick up the pace. You go slow but sink deeper into him with every roll of your lips, eyes never parting from his as you take in the way his face starts to contort in pleasure, mouth parting slightly as his breathing grows heavier, little grunts leaving his lips with every push and pull. His hands travel back down to your hips, squeezing a little at the soft flesh, guiding them as you move over his cock. He’s so hard, can feel you through the layers, can bet on the fact that you’re wet and pulsing for him right now. 
“That feels good,” he sighs, gaze dropping as he rides your shirt up a bit at the front. His eyes fixate on the way the thin, lacy fabric of your panties bunches up every time you throw your hips back. 
“Brings back memories,” you say, voice a bit shaky when a particular roll of your hips has the tip of his cock hitting right against your clit. 
Jungkook smiles, mind hazy but perfectly able to picture the memories you refer to. “Mhm,” he sighs, so entrapped by the feeling he swears he can feel you pulse against him. He likes the way you consume his senses. The way everything around him stills and all he can think about is you. His hands squeeze at the flesh on your hips before he says, “turn around, baby.”
“‘Kay.”
Jungkook feels the loss of your warmth as you stand up before him once again, smiling at him before you’re turning around and sitting on his lap. You press your back to his chest, letting your head fall to his shoulder, your lips meeting his cheek in an open mouth kiss. His hands travel up your body, palms closing around your tits, thumbs playing with your nipples over the thick fabric of your shirt. You circle your hips, chasing the same friction from before but it’s not enough in this position. You bring your body forward, hands resting on his thighs as you throw your ass back at him, your pussy perfectly aligned on top of his cock, making you both moan at the same time. Jungkook’s gaze drops to your ass, enthralled by the way he feels, by the way you look. He rides your shirt up your back, exposes you to him and it only eggs you on, moving against his cock at the perfect rhythm. 
He hooks a finger down the side of your panties, letting it travel down, smiling lazily at the way you trap his knuckles between your pussy and his cock, moaning as you grind on them. He can feel how wet you are, dripping for him already even though he hasn’t touched you yet. “Want my fingers, baby?”
“Yes, please,” you plead, voice shaky as you look back at him. 
He’d usually tease you, make you beg for it a little longer, but tonight Jungkook obliges. It’s been long – too long – and all he can think about is being inside you, feeling you around him, making you feel good. He takes his time simply so he can savor the moment. So he can memorize it well enough to store it somewhere inside of him, just in case it’s another three months until he sees you again. 
He pushes his middle and ring finger inside of you, hissing at your warmth, cock jumping inside his sweatpants in anticipation and a little big of neglect. You close your eyes, pleasure taking over you as he begins to thrust his fingers inside of you slowly, arching expertly every time they hit your g-spot. His free hand squeezes around your ass cheek, groaning when the hand that fucks into you pushes down on his cock, aiding at giving him some much needed friction. You feel lightheaded already, all-consumed in his hold as he takes over your every sense. Your body relaxes and you can feel the way your tummy tenses right away. 
“Fuck, I think I’m gonna cum,” your voice is faint but he hears you well enough. 
“Already? That was fast, baby.” You don’t miss the cocky tone his words hint at. 
“Shut up and don’t stop,” you say, looking back at him playfully. 
You see the way he smiles at you before his gaze is dropping back down, fingers moving expertly inside of you at the same pace, applying a bit more force as he pushes in, massaging that spot with the tip of his fingers. The added pressure has you mewling in no time, nails digging into his thighs, teeth biting at your bottom lip to ground you back into the moment as you let go. 
“Fuck,” he says as he feels you cum around his fingers, sweet moans filling the space around you and he so badly wishes he could look at your face right now. “Yeah, baby, that’s it.” He feels the way you contract around him, hips circling over his hand as you ride the waves of pleasure. 
You come down after a minute, mind still hazy as you fall back into him, lips finding his the moment he turns his head to the side. You kiss him, breathing into his mouth, smiling in your fucked out bliss. “That was so good.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm,” you say, pressing your forehead to his. “I need you to fuck me now.”
“Want it?” he asks, and you nod your head. “You can have it.” 
“Yeah, want it so bad, Jungkook.” Your voice is needy, holds a dreaminess to it that Jungkook doesn’t miss – one that makes him melt into your words, your touch, your lips as you kiss him again. 
Jungkook presses his hips into you, raising them a bit as he pushes his sweatpants down. You help him take them off, hand reaching back before you’re wrapping it around his cock. He’s hard and pulsing for you and if you weren’t pulsing for him, too, you’d probably want him in your mouth right this second. He feels heavy, big and thick in your hold, a grunt leaving his lips when your thumb circles around the head. You love how sensitive he is, how receptive. 
“Condom,” he says, before he runs out of blood in his brain and it all falls down to his cock. 
“In my bag,” you say, reaching to the side and pulling it towards you. You rummage around it for a second too long – a second that has Jungkook’s mind betraying him. He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. But nonetheless he can’t help but wonder where you’d be right now if he’d been asleep and hadn’t seen your text. Perhaps in the same position but with a stranger. Or maybe a stranger only to Jungkook. Perhaps he hadn’t been the only person you texted tonight. “Here you go, baby.” 
Your voice dismantles his worries and he’s warm again, all thoughts vanishing and it’s back to you and him. He leans forward, kissing your lips as he takes the condom from your hand. It makes you blush slightly, biting your lip in anticipation as you watch as he rips the foil of the packaging with his teeth. You watch the way he smirks as he rolls the condom on. 
“Why are you smiling?”
“Just thinking,” he says, smile growing wider, cheek dimples making him look cute but something about his voice begs to differ. 
You hum. “Thinking about what?”
He smiles. “July 14th, 2021.”
You both crack up, laughter filling the air the moment the words leave his mouth because of course you know what July 14th, 2021 meant. You’d been in a position very similar to this one, perhaps a bit more hazy minded, the true meaning of the heat of the moment finding you the minute you’d realized neither of you had a condom. You’d looked into each other’s eyes and made the silent agreement to be a little reckless and put a whole lot of trust on birth control and Jungkook’s pull out game. 
He said he’d never forget that day. 
“Long live, July 14th, 2021,” you say. 
“Shhh,” he says, squinting his eyes and bringing a finger to his mouth. “Don’t remind me.”
“You reminded yourself,” you bite back. “Now, can you fuck me? Pretty please.”
“Yeah, baby, come here.”
You push your ass back at him, looking at him from over your shoulder, biting your lip in anticipation as he strokes his cock once, twice, before he’s lining himself against your entrance. His hand comes to your hip, pulling you down towards him as you push him inside of you. You both sigh, moaning as he bottoms out, so deep and warm it has Jungkook throwing his head back against the couch, sinking further into it and pushing impossibly deeper into you. 
“Fuck, Jungkook,” you whimper, nails digging into his flesh. 
“Fuck me, baby,” he says, running a hand through his long hair. You nod, circling your hips a couple of times as you adjust to his size before you start moving your hips into him, ass bouncing with every push and pull. He hisses at the sight alone, bringing his hand down as he delivers a hard slap against your cheek, making you moan. “Shit, just like that. You’re so hot, ___.”
“Jungkook,” you whisper.
“Yeah, baby?” His eyes are back on yours, threatening to close in pleasure at the way your pussy feels around him. 
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, baby. So much.”
You fall into his chest, kissing him as he wraps his hand around your throat, not applying any pressure, just simply holding you. You gasp into his mouth when his other hand travels down and finds your clit, drawing lazy circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves. You whine and he moans when you move your hips to the rhythm of his touch.
“I don’t wanna be on top anymore,” you say, pouting into his lips, frowning when you feel his chest shake in laughter. 
“Of course you don’t.”
“I’m an awful top.”
“You’re not a top.”
“Hey, I was a good top that one time,” you protest.
“Mm, yeah, that was hot. You got all bossy on me.”
“Oh, but that’s regardless,” you tell him, pushing your lips into his once more and straightening your back, smiling as you look back at him. He wipes said smile off your face in a second, hand meeting your ass in another hard slap. 
“Stay there,” he says, holding firmly onto your hips. 
“Okay, daddy.” That earns you another slap, though you can’t say it wasn’t exactly the goal in mind. 
“Behave.”
Your face grows pliant as you nod at him and Jungkook has to fight to keep up the front because if he’s being honest, the sight alone drives him crazy, threatens to break him down completely and leave him a needy, whiny mess. He holds you in place, legs raising you up a bit before he starts pistoling his hips against you, fucking you hard and fast and even though you saw it coming, it still takes you by surprise. The force of his thrusts, how good he feels as the pain translates into pleasure, the noises he makes – it’s all too much but fuck, you don’t want him to ever stop. Your mouth parts in a silent moan, eyes closing as your face contorts in pleasure before the sensation ripples through you and you’re crying out. Your hand holds onto his arm and the firm grasp you have on it let’s him know.
“Fuck, I’m cummin,” you breathe out.
“Fuck yeah, baby. Cum all over my cock.”
“Oh my God,” you say, voice shaky and faint as you throw your body back into his. 
“Fuck, I love your pussy.”
“I love your cock,” you say, fucked out giggles escaping your lips. 
It takes you both a minute to steady your breathing and regain your strength. Jungkook kisses your neck, snaking a hand inside your shirt and squeezing your boob as you arch your back at the feel. “Let’s get you to bed, princess.”
“Music to my ears,” you say, giddy and excited. 
Your knees buckle a bit when your feet touch the floor, the both of you laughing at your loss of balance, Jungkook a bit more cockily than you. He slaps your ass softly once, then twice as you begin to walk towards his bedroom. Once inside he takes his shirt off and when you turn around, your eyes scan over his body, metaphorically and possibly physically drooling over him. Your hands find the hem of your t-shirt before you’re pulling it off your body and tossing it aside until it’s landing on top of his. Your tits bounce as you do, and he nods his head at you, a satisfied pout adorning his lips. The pout turns sour the moment you turn around but is soon enough replaced with a smile when you start to crawl on top of his big mattress, finding the perfect spot over his pillows and laying down comfortably. 
“You’re so perfect.” Jungkook says, because anything else would downplay it and he’s not in the mood to run away from the truth. You giggle, soft and sweet and he feels the way his heart aches for you inside his chest. 
“Come to me,” you say, arms outstretched towards him. He makes his way to you, letting himself hover over you for a minute as he takes you in before he’s falling perfectly between your legs. You kiss him, letting your fingers get lost in his hair, breathing into the kiss and you swear this moment is laced in pure, unadulterated bliss. “Want to feel you inside me.”
“I’ll give it to you, baby. I’ll give you anything you want.”
There it is, yet again, and without a fail. It’s so common you nearly miss it – the way the moment turns tender. It’s mostly soft, this unspoken agreement you’ve fallen into with Jungkook. It’s friendship and attraction, good sex and years of exploring each other. It’s trust and communication. It’s understanding. It’s soft at the beginning and tender halfway through. It’s so tender it feels tangible, like the moment itself could fit inside the palm of your hand and feel ripe to the touch as you hold onto it. It’s tender when he looks into your eyes, it’s tender when his voice says your name, when you kiss his lips. It’s tender when the lust borders on something else. It’s tender when it lingers, when it threatens to fall. 
He fucks you, hips moving against yours slowly, pulling moans out of your lips that get caught between his own when he kisses you. 
“You feel so good,” you whisper into his mouth, words that only he could hear even if it weren’t just the two of you. 
“Fuck, baby, so do you,” he whines, supple and yours, even if for that moment. “I’m not gonna last much longer.”
You smile, hand running through his hair before your fingers are pushing a strand behind his hear. “Cum for me, Kookie. Wanna feel you cum for me.”
Your words throw him over the edge, falling blissfully into you. It feels so fucking good. Your fingers running through his hair, down his neck and then back up again. The way your pussy clenches around him, cock throbbing for you at the wake of his release. Your lips are soft and the rise and fall of your chest falls into perfect sync with his. His hand squeezes at your breast before it’s traveling down your body, squeezing at your thigh before you’re wrapping your legs around his waist, flushed to him. Every little thing you do heightens his senses until all he can breathe, think and feel is you. His face falls down the crook of your neck and you breathe out a moan into his ear, unraveling him completely.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, baby.” His hips slow down before they still completely, a moan passing his lips as he releases into the condom, your nails softly running down his spine. His body feels spent but he doesn’t miss the way it relaxes on top of you, blissful and peaceful, growing sleepy right away. 
“Feel good?” you ask, your fingertips running down his back in what feels like a feathery whisper. 
“So fucking good,” he mumbles against the skin of your shoulder before his eyes are finding yours again. He kisses you. He kisses you because in moments like this he wants to say something else, something that makes more sense to his heart than anything his brain could say.
You kiss him back, afraid your heart will betray you, too. 
~
You stare at him as you make your way back to his bed. He lays on his tummy, cheek pressed against the soft pillow, his pretty hair framing his face in a way that makes him look dreamlike. He doesn’t move an inch when you pull back the covers, if only for a second, to get back in bed with him. You lay on your side, eyes still fixed on him and your heart grows a new kind of tender at the sight of his sleeping form. He’s pouty and soft and so, so peaceful. Something sinks in your tummy, but it’s not in a way that signals bad news. Perhaps it’s the butterflies settling, perhaps the heat of the moment has began to cool down. 
Your hand comes to his face, fingers gently pushing his hair out of his eyes before you let them wander down his face. His cheeks are soft, his ears cold and when it tickles, he frowns. Your thumb travels up again, smoothing his brow bone and he relaxes. Your eyes follow your touch as you trace the bridge of his nose, slowly, softly, as if you were being quizzed on it later. Wanting to take everything in, afraid that even blinking could take away from the moment. And when your finger lands on his lips, you trace that too the way your own did only minutes prior. 
His eyes begin to flutter, a failed attempt to open them but you know he’s partially awake from the smile that pulls at his lips. You feel it on your finger before your eyes meet his gesture and when they do, you close them instinctively, leaning over and kissing him. His body can’t respond to his brain right now, exhausted and more asleep than he is awake, but he hums in satisfaction, lips puckering as he tries to give into his instincts. 
“Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow,” he mumbles against your lips. “I’ll go buy honey and make you pancakes.” 
You smile, though he can’t see, and perhaps it’s for the best. Your voice is a whisper when you say, “deal.”
His smile is the last thing you see before you fall asleep.
~
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tobiosbbyghorl · 2 months ago
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Chicken Cheeks Chaos | psh
pairing:downbad!sunghoon x vlogger!reader
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The kitchen smelled divine—soy garlic chicken glistening under the warm lights, tteokbokki bubbling in a wide pan, crispy mandu stacked high beside a dish of golden cheese corn that sizzled with every bubble. You sat at the table in your comfiest hoodie (Sunghoon’s, of course), camera angled just right, face glowing with energy.
“Hi besties!” you grinned, eyes already flickering toward the food. “Welcome back to another episode of ‘watch me fall in love with food for the thousandth time.’ And today, we have a guest.”
You leaned your head to the side dramatically, bumping shoulders with the quiet boy beside you.
Sunghoon, in a hoodie of his own with sleeves pushed halfway up his arms, offered the camera a small nod. “I’m just here for the chicken,” he said simply.
You gasped with mock betrayal. “Not me?”
He glanced at you, corner of his mouth lifting. “You come with the meal.”
You turned back to the camera with a smug smirk. “Y’all heard that. He thinks I’m the free side dish.”
Sunghoon only laughed softly and reached for a piece of mandu, but his eyes weren’t on the food. Not really. They kept drifting toward you—how you looked at the camera, how excited you got over every dish, how your smile reached your eyes whenever you talked about something you loved.
You picked up a chicken wing with a little happy hum, taking a big bite. Crispy, sweet, garlicky—basically everything you wanted from life.
“Oh my God, this is what I want heaven to taste like,” you said, pointing your wing at the camera. “This is the one. This is the one.”
“You said that last week,” Sunghoon mumbled, chewing his own piece.
“And I was right last week,” you argued, licking sauce off your finger before pointing at another dish. “Now try the tteokbokki before I finish it all.”
You reached for a piece yourself, slurping it up with the kind of enthusiasm only someone truly in love with food could have. A spot of sauce dotted the corner of your mouth, and Sunghoon—completely on autopilot—reached over with his thumb, wiping it gently before following with a napkin. Like he’d done it a thousand times before. Like it was second nature.
You blinked. “Did you just—?”
“Had something there,” he said casually.
You turned to the camera, eyes wide. “He just wiped my mouth like a husband wiping his wife’s face in a drama scene. The natural instinct was strong.”
Sunghoon paused mid-bite, ears tinting pink. “You’re being dramatic.”
“You’re being down bad.”
“I’m being helpful.”
“Sure,” you teased, voice full of fondness. “Down bad and helpful. What a combo.”
You reached for the cheese corn next, holding the spoon up with reverence as the cheese stretched impossibly long. “Look at this! LOOK. AT. THIS.”
Sunghoon leaned in, but his eyes were still on your face, not the food.
“You’re not even looking at the cheese,” you said, laughing.
“I am.”
“Where?”
“…Your face.”
You gasped, smacking his arm lightly. “Did you just say I’m cheesier than the cheese corn?”
“No,” he said, licking sauce from his thumb. “I said I’m distracted.’”
You scoffed dramatically, then took another bite of cheese corn. “Here. Eat this before I expose you further.”
He opened his mouth without question, leaning in with zero hesitation.
You fed him slowly, watching him chew with a little smirk. “Good?”
“Dangerously,” he muttered with a full mouth.
You handed him a mandu next, then a bite of tteokbokki, alternating between feeding yourself and him.
At one point, you leaned closer, holding up a piece of chicken. “Say ah.”
He raised a brow. “You really like feeding me, huh?”
“It’s giving ‘1950s housewife energy,’” you said with a wink. “Let me live my fantasy.”
He leaned in and took the bite, chewing slowly as he looked you dead in the eye. “You’re lucky I’m so in love with you.”
You blinked, the grin tugging at your lips slower this time. “Did you just—?”
“I said the chicken’s good,” he muttered, cheeks tinting again.
“Nope. That was something else,” you said, laughing so hard you almost dropped the chicken wings. “Caught in 4K, baby.”
You turned to the camera. “You guys. I’m dating the softest man alive.”
Sunghoon just reached for another napkin and wiped your fingers again, muttering, “You’re still messy.”
“And you still love me.”
He didn’t even blink. “I do.”
The moment hung there for a second—quiet, warm, full of something tender and whole.
The rest of the video passed in a blur of laughter and full mouths. You kept feeding him between bites of your own, sometimes teasing, sometimes sweet, and Sunghoon never refused. His hands, almost unconsciously, kept reaching for your wrist to guide another bite toward him, or resting on your thigh beneath the table, thumb drawing slow circles like he needed the contact. Like touching you helped him breathe.
By the end, both your bellies were full and your hearts even more so. You leaned into each other slightly, the table messier now, evidence of good food and better company.
“Okay besties, we’re officially done. My man is officially exposed. And I’ll see you in the next video. Say bye, chicken boy.”
Sunghoon raised a hand lazily. “Bye, besties.”
After the camera stopped rolling and the kitchen had quieted down, you curled up on the couch, laptop in your lap, already importing the footage. The scent of dinner still clung to your clothes and your lips were a little swollen from spicy tteokbokki.
Sunghoon wandered in a few minutes later and dropped onto the couch behind you, arms looping around your waist. His chin rested on your shoulder as he peered at the screen.
“You kept the part where you fed me,” he mumbled.
“Of course. That was peak content.”
“I looked whipped.”
“You are whipped,” you said without looking at him.
He nuzzled into the crook of your neck, voice barely above a whisper.
“I like it when you feed me.”
You smiled, fingers still tapping at the keyboard. “Yeah?”
“Means I don’t have to take my eyes off you.”
Your hands froze on the trackpad for a second.
And then you leaned back into him, letting the quiet stretch on, letting your smile speak for you.
“I’ll feed you forever then.”
He hummed into your skin.
“Good. Because I’m never getting tired of this.”
Neither of you moved. Wrapped in warmth and leftovers and love, you stayed there until the screen dimmed and the only thing left was the sound of your breathing, slow and in sync.
Bonus:
Top Comments under the Vlog!
“Sunghoon staring at her like she hung the moon?? I AM NOT OKAY.”
“the way he just automatically wiped her mouth… this man is not just whipped, he’s on a rotisserie.”
“I paused at 12:38 and this man was literally not watching the food. just. her. face. i’ve never seen someone more in love.”
“the way she fed him and he didn’t even blink, just opened his mouth like yes queen feed me—I’m actually crying this is PEAK SOFT BOYFRIEND.”
“i can’t even get a text back and she’s out here feeding her bf cheese corn while he calls her his ‘distraction’ bye.”
Tweets!
@kdramaswho:
not me crying in the club at 2am watching sunghoon wipe her mouth like she’s a whole painting…
@no1luvsme:
i wanna be a chubby food vlogger with a hot boyfriend who feeds me, wipes my face, AND stares at me like i’m a buffet… universe do ur thing pls
@y/nlvr:
sunghoon: gets fed
sunghoon: stares at her like she’s art
sunghoon: wipes her mouth without thinking
me: what in the husband material—
@softboysupremacy:
down bad doesn’t even cover it. he’s under the table. IN THE FLOOR. SUNGHOON YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME (i love you)
©️tobiosbbyghorl - all rights reserved
permanent taglist: @ijustwannareadstuff20 @hoonielvv @rjssierjrie @firstclassjaylee
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eepy-cookies · 4 months ago
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Characters: Shadow Milk Cookie x G/N! Reader Content Warning: Angst, Hurt/Comfort Spoilers for Beast-Yeast episode 8 of the finale Disclaimer: If the characters are ooc, remember that this is made for fun. (ngl its been a while since I type a fanfic, but I am still rusty on that so bear with me, plus I found a post on twitter that SMC could also be Blue Moon Cookie but its just a guess.)
After the defeat of the jester that got away...
There was a memory in the distant past, WAY before he himself was created. Surely you have heard the tale of the first five cookies that were made before they become the beast cookies, a cookie one of the beast fell in love but...
The witches had to hide a terrible secret that if a cookie has the most missing incomplete ingredients, that said cookie is sick and cannot live until old age.
??? Cookie: "Um... Are you sure that there is a way to create a cure?"
??? Cookie: "There is a possibility I believe, as a fount of knowledge I will find the cure. But if I kindly ask"
(I remember the first meeting we have (Y/N) Cookie, it pains me to know this...)
That unfortunate cookie named (Y/N) Cookie has an incurable illness, due to the Witch's mistake, The Fount of Knowledge was desperate to find the cure for (Y/N) Cookie, the very first friend who greeted the pre-corrupted beast in a kingdom that was now long gone. One of them falls for that unfortunate cookie, their kindness, patience, and confidence they had charmed him even if he was at his lowest. He knew the pain in the future and yet, he yearned for more.
They both get along well, it was peaceful for them. He never felt any happier just being by their side, but not all happiness last much longer.
One day he was about to give (Y/N) Cookie a gift, a love letter that will never be opened and read.
???: "(Y/N) COOKIE?!" ???: "PLEASE WAKE UP!"
He stood there shocked, (Y/N) Cookie was on the floor struggling to get up. He knew (Y/N) Cookie was sick and yet their own health is getting worse by the minute, in a act of desperation he decided to look further into knowledge casting a spell on (Y/N) Cookie to keep their health in check, but as the years go by madness took hold of him and decided to cast a spell on them.
???: "My love...I am sorry...."
Madness CLEARLY took a hold of him.
Shadow Milk Cookie: "I can't afford to lose you! So I will make you as one of my puppets! Hehehe... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
And yet...
Tears fell from his face, he drops down to his knees leaning closer to them.
He can't do it.
He can't harm the one he love dearly.
Leaving only behind a kiss on the forehead, and the unread love letter in their hands. He casted the spell that would last much longer in hopes to find a cure while he is away. After all he will just lie to himself that he killed them, it's no big deal.
----
Pure Vanilla Cookie: This must be the place.
Wizard Cookie: A coffin? Why this place?
Gingerbrave Cookie: !!! Look a cookie is inside!
Strawberry Cookie: Are they...still breathing?!
Pure Vanilla Cookie watch as the sleeping (Y/N) remained in the coffin, sleeping peacefully. To which he now understands why Shadow Milk Cookie was trying to preserve some of his energy, casting a life lasting spell was taking a toll on him even if he was sealed.
Pure Vanilla Cookie: I hope this spell allowed you to wake up...
With no other explanation another spell was casted, pure healing magic was casting on (Y/N) Cookie. Pure Vanilla Cookie witnessed this tragic memory, and yet he had to secretly admit, he is evil but his capability of magic was greater far from what he had imagined.
But all that's left was silence, and yet...
Everyone: !!!
??? Cookie: ...W....Wh....
Gingerbrave Cookie: Look their awake!
Pure Vanilla Cookie: (Y/N) Cookie..... are you awake?
(Y/N) Cookie: ...H...hung.....r..y...
Strawberry Cookie quickly pull out an extra supply of royal bear jellies and gently feed (Y/N) Cookie as the others watch in concern. In the corner of Pure Vanilla Cookie's soul jam they aren't the only ones who witness a miracle that was tragic yet so real.
---
Arriving at a safe in (Y/N) Cookie was put on a wheel chair carefully eating the jelly soup one of the cookies made, they themselves were confused knowing that they would pass on and yet here they are somehow alive, still sick but still living, as if someone was carrying the burden off from their shoulders.
(Y/N) Cookie looked at the letter that they kept and had not opened and kept it close to them at all times. They need to know what happen, what year is it, and most importantly...where are their only friends?
...
..
.
That night when everyone is asleep, (Y/N) Cookie wheeled their way to the balcony watching the stars holding the letter close to their chest. Wondering where did their friend go, glancing at the letter that was remained fresh despite how many years has passed. They opened the letter carefully just to give it a read.
But before they can actually read it...
??? Cookie: ...(Y../N) Cookie?"
That recognizable voice from behind, (Y/N) Cookie looked to see that what was once the one they knew was in a different appearance of a jester. They were supposed to feel fear and yet...
(Y/N) Cookie: ...Are...you.... Blue Moon / Blueberry Milk Cookie?
He walked closer to see if they are actually alive, (Y/N) is still sick but cannot walk properly. Their hands reached out to him, gently touching his cheek. His face was unreadable and yet...
Shadow Milk Cookie: Are you....awake? (Y/N) Cookie?
There was no voice is mischief or anything, just pure vulnerable voice he has left of them. (Y/N) Cookie nodded as he kneel on the ground gently yet carefully hugging (Y/N) Cookie hiding his face to their chest. (Y/N) Cookie gently hugged him back remembering the usual scent that they personally love.
His own body shaking which (Y/N) was crying in turn, wondering to themselves what happened to him when they are asleep for SO very long?
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sitepathos · 8 months ago
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From Gold to Mold
Chapter 6: The Return
A/N: Did this chapter during a slow day in class. Enjoy this mini chapter!
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You tried to keep your promise to Alfred about taking regular breaks to stop for food and sleep, but the Megamycete gives you unlimited energy, reducing your need for food and rest and allowing you to focus only driving as much as you can before night because Alfred is no doubt keeping track of when you tell him you’re stopping and resuming your journey.
Finally, after forty hours (you wished you could’ve turned into a giant flying creature and carry your car all the way to Goodsprings, but you’d never be able to explain that to Alfred), you pulled into the driveway of your childhood home and you feel tears swelling up in the corners of your eyes.
(Your feelings for this home are quite profound,) it remarks as you make your way up the driveway. (May we ask a favor?)
“Yeah, of course?”
(Allow us to establish a root system around your house. We promise our roots will not damage anything.)
“Can I ask why?”
(You have longed to return to this house for years. We wish to ensure its protection. With a root system, we will be able to watch over your house and keep out undesirables, be they man or pest.)
“Sure,” you chuckle, bending down and touching the lawn and from your finger, a sliver of mold extends from your skin and disappears into the dirt.
(We thank you. Should anything threaten your home, we will intervene.)
“Thanks, buddy,” you chuckle as you walk up to the front door, pulling out the key that the Clark County Probate Office sent you after you turned eighteen.
As you insert the key into the keyhole, you realize that you’re holding your breath. You’ve dreamed on this moment for years and now that it’s here, you’re worried that the home you’ve wanted to return to won’t bring you the joy you thought it would.
(Do not let your fears stand in your way. This home contains memories of a time of your life that you cherish. You will also be able to walk through the halls of this house without fear. Within these four walls, you will create a new life that will bring you happiness.)
You’re thankful for accepting the Megamycete into your body. Not only has it given you powers and abilities that you could never dream of, but it’s provided you comfort and companionship. It’s been very helpful to have your own Jiminy Chricket, whispering guidance and help from your shoulder.
With that, you turn the key and push the door open, stepping into the small foyer. Sure, the house has that type of smell that says it’s been empty for years and it’s pitch black since the curtains are drawn, but you’re overwhelmed by so many memories all at once. You and your Momma chasing each other down the hall in a game of tag, you sprawled out on the couch in the adjacent living room to watch the latest episode of one of your favorite cartoons, and so many others.
As you make your way through the house and notice every piece of furniture is covered in white sheets, protecting them from being covered in dust. Probably Sheriff Foley, he was the last one here the day your left and from what you remember of the distinguished sheriff, he’d do everything in his power to preserve the house and make sure nothing happened to it.
Finally, you pass throgh the dining room attached to the kitchen, walk down the small hallway and stop at the door on the left.
“Momma’s study,” you say, looking at the door before you.
(A room she spent most of her time. Many hours spent at her desk, working on her books. And you would stay in here to watch her.)
You open the door to see her bookshelves, desk, and chair covered in white tarps and the curtains drawn just like the rest of the house. You walk over to the other side of the desk, pull the tarp off the chair, and plop down on it.
“Feels just like I remember it,” you say, spinning around in it.
(What will you do with this room? Will you keep it as a study, or repurpose it?)
“I can turn it into my own study. With all that money Lex gave me for Bruce’s secrets? I can buy one hell of a PC that’ll be perfect for making games.”
After the study, you head upstairs, which has your old room, your Momma’s room, an upstairs bathroom, and a bedroom she had turned into a storage room. Your old room’s empty since you took most of your belongings when you moved to Gotham, the only things left are a bed that you’ve long since outgrown and a small dresser, so you decide otherwise set up in your Momma’s old room, which has a large bed that’s been covered in a tarp for years, a large dresser perfect for your clothes, and a sizable private bathroom.
(This house seems perfect for your purposes. And your mood has definitely improved since arriving.)
“Yeah, we have the house all to ourselves and there’s no Waynes in sight. This is definitely better than Wayne Manor.” You look around at the dark room and sigh. “We have a lot of work to do.”
And you did. For a week, you worked tirelessly to get the house livable, making calls to utility companies to get power, water, and gas turned back on, airing out the house, taking down the tarps and making everything look presentable, and clearing out your Momma’s belongings. You kept as much of you could, like her books, movies, jewelry, and everything else in between, but her clothes were boxed up and donated, along with appliances that date back to the early 2000s.
You had a lot of shopping to do, replacing the old appliances you donated, groceries for the new refrigerator, and a new mattress for your new room since the thought of sleeping on a decade old mattress made you itch all over. If you could’ve, you would’ve done all the shopping online, but you didn’t want to risk attracting attention to your finances with so many large purchases, so going to stores and paying with cash was your only option.
The best part of all this was converting your old bedroom into your gamer cave, full of your Pokémon plushies, toys, and posters, LED strips lining the corners of the room, and a giant desk and a top-of-the-line gaming PC. As much as you loved your trusty laptop, this PC makes it look like a relic from over a hundred years ago, and you can now play more modern games without any kind of lag. You’re really looking forward to future video game sessions.
After your gamer cave came your office. You boxed up your Momma’s old books and placed them in the storage room, replacing them with a few art books and game guides and bought another top-of-the-line PC full of digital art and video game creation software and placed it on the desk. You also found a fancy pen stand and placed your Momma’s pen on it, retuning the pen to its proper place. Plus, it can give you inspiration while you work.
Thankfully, the Megamycete made this undertaking easier, giving you stamina and energy that allowed you to work for hours on end without getting tired and allowing you to summon tendrils so you can do something upstairs while your body’s downstairs.
“Finally,” you sigh, plopping down on the living room couch after finishing the second coat of paint in the living room. “We’re done.”
(You have turned this house into a place anyone would kill to live in. You should be proud.)
“You helped. Getting this place into shape would’ve a few weeks, probably a month.”
(What is your next course of action?)
“Right now? Rest. Tomorrow? Time to get back to work.”
(That is right, your game. With your new tools, you should create a masterpiece worthy of you in no time.)
“Glad to know you think so highly of me, bud,” you chuckle.
That’s when you hear your phone go off, indicating you have a text. You take the device off the table, which had been playing your playlist of video game soundtracks, and see a message from Alfred.
Alfred: I hope your first week back in Goodsprings and that you’re taking proper care of yourself. I was thinking about you earlier today and decided to make my chocolate chip cookies.
The text is accompanied by a picture of said cookies and you instantly start salivating at the sight of the baked goods.
(Yes, the butler’s treats were very palatable to you.)
That’s a gross understatement.when it comes to any form of cooking, especially baking, the man is a god, able to conjure up food that would bring tears to anyone’s eye. While you’re ecstatic to be back home and away from the Waynes, you miss the man and his cooking. Now, you have to make do with either what little restaurants Goodsprings has or try your hand at cooking your own meals. And while there are many in the Megamycete’s records that were good in the kitchen, none of them held a candle to Alfred.
Me: Looks delicious! Making me drool up a river in my living room.
Alfred: I certainly hope that’s a joke. A young man as respectable as you should never be caught doing something as disgraceful as drooling.
You laugh at the text. Bless him, the poor man really thinks of you as a member of the “prim and proper” Wayne Family instead of the product of a one-night stand. When you first moved in, he tried to teach you all the ways of high society, but none of it ever took. You are who you are and nothing’s going to change that.
Alfred: Is it too early to ask when I can expect a visit from you?
You feel your heart drop a bit. You miss Alfred and would do anything to see him again, but you promised yourself that when you left Gotham, you’d never step foot in that hellhole again. And you know the man’s been trying to get the Waynes to get their shit together and remember the third child brought to live with him, but you hate all of them more than anything and if you never saw them again, it would be too soon.
Of course, you can’t tell him that. It would break his heart and make him feel guilty for not doing more. So, instead, you say:
Me: Sorry, I’m still getting things cleaned up around here and I’m trying to get my game working. Don’t know when I’ll be able to.
Alfred: I understand, my boy. I just ask that you try to carve out a little time to come back to Gotham and visit home when things calm down.
Home and Gotham definitely do not belong in the same sentence. Not for you, at least. Nevertheless:
Me: I promise!
Of course, you have no intention of going back there. You miss Alfred, but that city isn’t a place where good people end up. You were dragged there against your will and if it wasn’t for that drunk driver, you never would’ve lost the best years of your life to it and the Waynes. No matter what, you will never step foot in Gotham again.
You’d rather die.
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sapphicautumn · 1 month ago
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Mother’s Day. EW.
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Synopsis: Ellie helps celebrate your first Mother’s Day at the farm house together. Basically you’re Dina, but not Dina.
Pairing: Established!relationship Ellie x Fem reader. WLW. Domestic AU.
Content: fluff. Pure fluff.
A/N: Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you for all the love I’ve received on the story I posted last night. Tumblr community is so supportive and I love you guys. I wanted to publish a little quick blurb today in honour of the holiday. We also get episode 5 tonight so *rubs hands together* we get to see more of that. If you’re a mom, older sister, or mother figure, have the best day today. <3
Ellie’s boots weighed heavy along the wood floor of the farm house, her ears picking up the soft sound of your laugh. She smiled to herself, putting down her backpack.
She went out hunting early this morning. When she left, you were asleep with JJ wrapped up in the sheet beside you. You’d woken up to a note on the pillow from her.
“Gone hunting. Be back soon. Love you. Happy Mother’s Day <3”
The hand writing made you smile, pressing a kiss to the 4 month old boys head as he woke up too.
You learned about Mother’s Day back in Jackson, you never knew there were designated days that were celebrated for such roles. That’s the sad thing about living in an apocalypse, importance of appreciation is forgotten.
Prior to your own mothers passing, you’d always make her something special. There wasn’t much around, but you’d trade your own items in return for something like semi worn boots, or a patched up winter coat.
And of course, it was always appreciated, not matter how small it seemed.
Ellie on the other hand, never had the experience of a mother-daughter relationship. She had Joel, and that was enough. Things changed when JJ was born-and she wasn’t sure if she’d fit the role of being a mom. It came so naturally to you, like it wasn’t something to think or second guess about. You just did the damn thing.
Her brown hair covered head peeked around the corner, gazing into the playroom. She saw you on the floor, jj sprawled out on his floor mat.
Your hands delicately squeezed his feet, holding them to your mouth as you peppered soft kisses along the soles, the newborns slight giggles bringing a smile to both of your faces. “I love you, little one” you’d coo, absolutely enamoured with the life you created, laying down below you.
Your pregnancy wasn’t fun, like not at all. If you had not had Ellie, you’d probably be in a very dark place. Upon moving to the farm house when you were 6 months pregnant, Ellie had hoped the extra space away from people would soothe your mind, instead, you found yourself crying in her arms almost every night. You didn’t plan on having a baby. Unfortunately you got pregnant without planning it days before breaking things off with your ex boyfriend at the time.
He wasn’t very supportive, which is part of the reason Ellie took you away from the town. To take care of you, but the constant fear of bringing an innocent life into such a cruel and evil world made you guilty, almost as if you were dooming your son from the start.
“He loves you too, im sure of it” Ellie’s quiet voice would interrupt the moment between JJ and you, causing your head to turn, smile crossing your expression.
“You think?”
Ellie walked closer, gently kneeling as she sat beside you. Her chin rested on your shoulder as the two of you looked down at the baby. “Look at how he looks at you…”
With a soft chuckle, you’d crinkle your eyes, head tilting back against her own. “Yeah, that’s cause he wants milk.”
She fondly smiled and pressed a kiss against your ear.
“I didn’t hear you come in, when did you get back?”
“Few minutes ago….” She shrugged, watching you. “I left you a note”
“I saw, I saw” you giggled, hand coming up to brush her hair away. “Happy Mother’s Day to you too, by the way.”
Ellie’s little nose crinkled, “it sounds to weird…to be called a mum. Don’t feel like one sometimes.”
You softened, tilting your head. “You helped with jj, you’re literally raising him with me. In my eyes, that makes you a pretty good mom. I couldn’t do this alone, els.”
And it’s true.
4 months prior, you had been pacing the hallway of the farm house, glaring at Ellie as you waddled past her.
“Why’re you glaring at me, honey?” She’d ask, not admitting it, but a little terrified of you.
“Because I’m in pain and you’re just standing there!!” You didn’t mean to be bitchy, you were overstimulated.
Ellie pushed herself off the counter she leaned on, her hands going to your waist, rubbing over the swell of your stomach. She knew it’s been hell, and she’s tried so hard to keep you comfortable.
“What can I do…?” She mumbled, eyebrows scrunched.
Your palms covered your face, you were crying for the upteenth time today. It’s been an emotional one. “I dunno.”
Ellie sways with you, mind lost in thought. “Your water hasn’t broken yet-”
“But I’m having contractions, they are like, in my back.” You whine, guiding her palms to rub your lower spine.
With a nod, she speaks. “Yeah, that’s normal I think. I’m sorry it hurts, sweetheart” her whispers tickled your neck. “Let me take you upstairs, please? I’ll get you comfy in the bathroom. I’m not gonna leave your side tonight. Pinky promise.”
With a huff, your stubborn ass let her assist you upstairs. You were placed into the small bath, the warm water soothing the sharp pangs of the contractions that were on and off.
Ellie dimmed the harsh light and sat beside you outside the tub. “I’m here…” her hands held a plastic cup, filling it with water and rinsing it down your back to keep you distracted.
She sat with you all night, until 3:43am when jj made his (loud) entrance into the world. She’d seen a lot of things in her life, but watching you place the newborn baby against your chest with a swell of pride in your eyes, was by far one of, if not the best, things she’s ever seen.
“You did it, oh god baby, im so proud of you” Ellie’s panicked little giggle echoed in the bathroom, leaning forward to kiss your head, then the baby.
Ellie’s true test of companionship with you was the weeks following, when you’d fallen into the mental rabbit hole of postpartum. You hated the way you looked, hated being around the baby for too long, not because you didn’t love him, but you really thought he hated you or something. The brain can really mess you up.
“My love, jj doesn’t hate you. He’s a baby…he’s fussy ‘s all” Ellie would try to soothe you and the infants crying, bouncing across the nursery gently as she held him tightly.
“He won’t latch!”
“He’s probably got a tummy ache or something?” She tried, looking down. Her heart aches for both of you. “I’m sure he will be alright, babies are unpredictable, sometimes they cry for no reason. You didn’t do anything, baby”
She didn’t know it, but Ellie was really the glue of the group. Keeping you stable, keeping the baby safe and cared for whenever you needed time.
How could she think of herself as anything less than a good parent?
You kissed her nose, then her lips.
You three sat in the playroom, still on the floor. “You’re as much as his mom as I am…I mean that ellie…”
Her eyes softened shyly, fingers moving down to touch the baby. His grip was strong, little tiny fingers wrapping around Ellie’s thumb tightly. “Thanks”
Your hands cupped her face as you kissed her once more. “Don’t thank me…” a peck. And another. And another.
Ellie giggled and tucked her head back to look at you.
“I got you something.”
You tilted your head curiously. “Oh?”
“Mhm…stay here” her smirk widened as she stood up, leaving for a moment. You looked down at the baby as you guided his tiny body up, cradling the boy against your chest.
Few minutes pass before Ellie comes back in, holding something behind her back. “Ok…so…I don’t know how you’ll feel about this?”
A slight smile creeps up, you’re only more curious with the lack of context. “Okay….?”
Ellie sat in front of you again, she pulled out the item from behind her.
“Ellie…”
It was a little silver ring, it was a bit worn, as Ellie found it in an abandoned store. It was rare to find anything in tact, but to find something like this? She had to take it.
“I just, uh…so, I don’t know if it’ll fit. Kinda just, took it.” Her nervous giggle made your ears flush. “Let me try it on then”
You held your hand out, watching her slide it onto your ring finger. It’s a little big. “Fuck” Ellie frowned. “I’m sure I can fix it for you”
“Thank you baby, I love it. Seriously.” Your voice was fond, soft and thoughtful.
“I love you a lot”
You watched her speak. “I love you more”
“Nuhuh”
“Yeah huh”
Jj coos, interrupting both of you, causing Ellie to laugh. “Oh, someone wants attention. Lemme see him”
You carefully handed over the baby, watching your girlfriend cuddle your son to her chest. Something in you fluttered
“Careful, he has that little soft spot” you gesture to his scalp. Ellie cringed, glancing at it. She loved JJ, but some thing icked her out. She placed her palm on his head, shielding it.
You stood up and went over to your desk. “Well…I got you something too, it doesn’t compare to a ring but-”
“You got me something?” Ellie spoke, almost surprised.
“Yeah?” Your voice soothed, coming over with a canvas. “Of course I did….” You handed over the artwork, Ellie coos, almost wanting to cry.
It was a painting of your hand print, with jj’s handprints inside your own. Oh how sweet…
“You’re such a sap” she muttered, trying to act nonchalant.
“You’re tearing up!” Your voice teased as Ellie giggles, shaking her head. “Because I love you! I love potato, I love you both so much….” Her fingers wipe her cheek before looking down again at the picture. She placed it down. “Cmere”
You leaned in and kissed her softly, a little more than a peck. When you pulled away you nuzzled against her face, humming. “I love you too…we both do. Let me make us lunch, and we can eat outside on the grass together. Little picnic.” You offered, knowing you’d have more time to love on her after the baby went to bed.
“That sounds lovely.” Ellie’s eyes crinkled, smiling up at you as your body stood. She admired the way your body looked in overalls, she loved every change you possessed after having the baby.
The three of you spent the afternoon on a towel outside, watching the sky as you ate. “He’s gettin fussy huh?” Ellie frowned, tickling the baby’s stomach gently.
“He needs his nap”
Ellie’s eyebrows quirked, making you roll your eyes. “Pervert”
“Oh so I’m a pervert for loving my wife?”
“Since when did we marry?”
Ellie smiles gently, shrugging. “You don’t wanna marry?” Her tone is teasing
“Never…said that” your tone was similar, smiling, making Ellie lean forward and jokingly kiss your neck all messily.
“Hey!! Hey! Stop, im gonna drop our damn kid”
The two of you watched each other like lovesick puppies, she took the baby from you very carefully.
You both walked inside the screen door, entering the cooler aired house. Ellie gently laid the half asleep boy into the cot. “Nap time, bubba”
Your back leaned against the wall, watching from afar. Ellie came over to you and smiled, wrapping her arms around your waist in what seemed like an innocent hug. “Mmmm”
She sighs against your shoulder before leaning down and picking you up, over her shoulder. You tried to not laugh, as the newborn was sleeping a few feet away. “Ellie!” Your voice raised a stern whisper.
She found it hilarious. “Cmon mama”
You snorted as she led you upstairs, allowing you on your back, against the bed. You widely smirked, reaching up to hold her shoulders. “You’re so annoying, Yknow that? Right?”
“Am i?” Ellie’s voice gave away sarcasm. “I’m soooo the worst.” Her hands tickled as her lips kissed your neck.
You clung to her, feeing the calm bliss and comfort of the moment sink in. You were pretty lucky.
Your eyes darted to the wall, seeing that Ellie had hung up the painting you and jj made. Oh god I do wanna marry her. You almost wish that ring she gave you was an engagement.
As long as you had them, you’d be alright. You and your little family.
<3
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flanaganfilm · 2 years ago
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Hi, I'm a big fan of your work. Sorry if this is a dumb question, why kill the kitties? I notice it a lot in horror in general, and it completely takes me out of the story and just makes me feel bad for the cat. I feel like I'm missing something.
Not a dumb question at all - and I knew I'd be getting some of this the moment we decided to include Poe's The Black Cat in TFOTHOU. The comments sections of the world are full of accusations that I hate cats and/or hands, and - well - neither is true. I've admittedly gotten a little flippant with my humor in the past when people have brought this up. My knee-jerk reaction is always to say something along the lines of "well, Websters defines 'horror' as..." But honestly, as far as I'm concerned, it's just not a thing.
A brief history of cats in my work:
HUSH - Maddie's beloved cat, "Bitch," escapes the danger of a home invader completely unharmed and is alive and well at the end of the movie. The last shot of the movie is Maddie lovingly petting the cat on the porch.
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE - Yes, a malnourished stray kitten dies within Hill House, only to be horrifically reanimated. This was done to show the horrors of Hill House, serve as a warning to the family, and foreshadow the deaths of several human beings (who would meet more horrible fates) later. Hill House is an evil place, and it killed and collected all sorts of living things... there are dead humans aplenty, and also phantom dogs, which Stephen and the kids hear several times and see in episode six. I'd argue that Hill House is an equal-opportunity horror show.
DOCTOR SLEEP - Azzie the cat is a great friend to Dan Torrance. Azzie also has a "shine" of her own, and can sense when patients at the hospice are going to die, and goes into their rooms to comfort them. Azzie is never once in any danger throughout the film and, we presume, lives a long and happy life.
MIDNIGHT MASS - All of the residents of Crockett Island, which include 157 people, a huge population of stray cats, and at least one particularly sweet dog, do not fare so well in this show. But nothing against the cats - everybody dies. The arrival of a certain evil creature marks doom for literally every living thing on the island (except for two people). And yep, it started with the cats, because they were plentiful and would not alert anyone to its presence. We see its lair full of dead rats, birds, and raccoons as well, all eaten while the creature was in hiding.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER - we adapted The Black Cat, written by Edgar Allan Poe. If you're familiar with the Poe story, you know that it involves the horrible death of a cat, which then seems to get revenge from beyond the grave. This is Edgar Allan Poe's story - we did not write it. HOWEVER, we decided to make a huge change to Poe's story. At the end of our retelling, we reveal that Pluto the cat is alive and well (and still wearing the Gucci collar), and that the supposed violence against the cat existed entirely in the person's mind. Pluto 2 - the terrifying, supernatural replacement that stalked Leo - is not real either. It is just Verna, taking another form (hence the injury to VERNA'S eye). So in this show, not a single animal is harmed AT ALL. We did that on purpose. We decided to change Poe's classic story so that the cat lived. We went out of our way to do that. I truly don't have anything against cats. I do tell horror stories... but that's about it! I hope it doesn't make it more difficult to enjoy the story, and thank you for watching.
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sunseed-fandump · 4 months ago
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I saw your tarot analyses, do you have one for the reading in episode 7, the one Fortune Teller Cookie gives the gang in the inn?
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*Cracks knuckles*
Alright, first one is a card everyone recognizes, because it's symbolism was used repeatedly throughout both episodes 7 and 8.
XVI - The Tower. Upright, it represents disaster, destruction, upheaval, trauma, sudden change, and chaos.
"The Tower represents change in the most radical and momentous sense. It is for this reason that the card itself visually looks so unnerving. But it doesn't necessarily have to be truly frightening or ominous. Because at the heart of this card, its message is foundational, groundbreaking change.
The kind of event that the Tower card marks does not have to be something terrible, like a disaster or a great loss. Change itself is a normal part of life that one has to embrace. But it can sometimes strike fear, for it means that we must abandon the truths that we have known prior to this event. The old ways are no longer useful, and you must find another set of beliefs, values and processes to take their place."
Next in the lineup seems to be VI - The Lovers. It stands for love, unions, partnerships, relationships, choices, romance, balance, and unity.
"The primary meaning within the Lovers is harmony, attractiveness, and perfection in a relationship. The trust and the unity that the lovers have gives each of them confidence and strength, empowering the other. The bond that they have created is very strong, and it can indicate that the two are joined in marriage, and other close and intimate relationships.
Another meaning behind the lovers card is the concept of choice - a choice between things that are opposing and mutually exclusive. This could be a dilemma that you need to think about carefully and make the best decision for your situation.
A more personal Lovers meaning that can apply to individuals is the development of your own personal belief systems, regardless of what are the societal norms. This is one of the times when you figure out what you are going to stand for, and what your philosophy in life will truly be. You must start making up your mind about what you find important and unimportant in your life. You should be as true to yourself as you can be, so you will be genuine and authentic to the people who are around you."
Now this last one really stumped me, as the symbolism doesn't seem to be too consistent with common depictions I'm familiar with. Then I remembered that these are Shadow Milk-ified Tarots that are supposed to be ominous looking. And then I also remembered that in some depictions of XIX - The Sun, the sun itself is drawn with a single massive eye. And I highly doubt an emo like Truthless Recluse would have a card depicting a happy sunny day in his deck. So we're going to continue assuming this is supposed to be The Sun. If I wind up being wrong, I'll just make an amendment later.
Upright, The Sun represents happiness, success, optimism, vitality, joy, confidence, happiness, and truth.
"The Sun card represents success, abundance, and radiance. Like the sun itself, it gives strength and vitality to all those that are lucky enough to feel its rays. There is much joy and happiness that is coming to you.
Because of your own personal fulfillment, you provide others with inspiration and joy as well. People are drawn to you because they are capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives. You are also in a position in which you are capable of sharing your qualities as well as achievements with other people. You radiate love and affection towards those you care about the most."
All together, this could be seen as one big summary of PV's arc in this story. His emotional spiral, the choice he has to make between embracing despair or fighting through it, followed by his eventual Awakening. But then, what about what TR wrote while giving this reading?
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Despite the optimism of the last card, I think TR - and by extension PV... Doubted himself. After all, when presented with a choice, it's always possible to make the wrong decision. And perhaps he was trying to spare himself the need to even make that choice in the first place with this warning. At this point, the Awakening hadn't happened yet, and TR hadn't seen the final outcome of that choice. He hadn't seen his Awakened self.
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He's so very happy at the end that he wound up making the right one.
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buckysoldatbarnes · 1 year ago
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Not only does House being autistic and queer make sense, it thematically and emotionally fulfills the heart of the show. Firstly, almost every aspect of House's character makes more sense through the lens of him being on the spectrum, and the fact that they literally pointed this out in the autism episode but refused to commit to confirming it is emblematic to a misunderstanding and disrespect to what autism is (the show thinking oh house has autistic traits but he has to be his own unique thing, or that an autistic character couldn't be as complex as him). But we knew that.
The thesis of House MD is, what happens when someone refuses to follow societal rules? When someone is brutally honest, goes against authority, has no filter, and does everything their own way? House tests this in every episode- when the stakes are high, will he still push the boundaries? Will he self destruct? Will he get away with it? and also in every episode, the PATIENT is also outside social norms in some way. They have an unusual lifestyle, career, personality, or sexuality, and usually their "difference" is making them sick, or they have an underlying medical condition that is causing it. It usually destroys their personal lives, but ultimately the "thing" they commit to is what makes them happy.
This is the medical, or "main plot" core of the show. The emotional "B Plot" answers the question- When someone (House) refuses to follow societal rules and can never be "normal" (his addiction and disability), can he still have a lasting relationship? Can he still be happy? Every single season tries to answer this question. For a while Cuddy is the answer, until the show disproves this. But from the first episode to the last, Wilson is there, always emotionally pushing house to be vulnerable, to improve his life. Every season tests their relationship, but wilson always comes back. Just like House, he's not normal.
Being queer and autistic explains much House's  difficulties with conventional norms and conventional (heteronormative) relationships. When we do see House have sex, it's a weighty moment of emotional vulnerability, because most of the time sex is a mechanical act for him. He rarely has a girlfriend, never dates. We barely ever even see him have sex, but he makes a big deal out of hiring hookers for companionship (and comphet) because he cant form a meaningful lasting relationship with anyone but wilson.  The thesis question of the show is "Can House be happy?". Wilson is the answer.
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thestarrynightslover · 2 years ago
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Discreet Not Detached
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Fem!Reader
Word count: 1,397
Warnings: None, really.
Summary: Mike goes to Harvey's apartment to deliver some files only to be proved wrong about his boss being a lonely workaholic.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.
A/N: My first Harvey fic in a while, I had the idea based on an episode (I don't remember exactly which) and tried to elucidate to it here. Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck and feedback is appreciated as usual!
(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)
| masterlist |
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Another day in the office, another drama for Harvey Specter: this time it was his associate, Mike Ross, wanting to tell his girlfriend the whole truth about the terms of his employment and Harvey couldn’t let him do it, for obvious reasons. But, as you’d expect, namecallings happened and it all ended with Mike throwing in Harvey’s face his being an alleged workaholic in lack of a personal 一 and, in this case, love 一 life. Emphasis on alleged, cause what Mike didn’t know was that his boss actually did have someone to go home to…
It had been a long day but at least you got to go home to your excentric puddle of comfort of a boyfriend: New York City’s best closer, Harvey Specter. Once you got to your place, where the two of you lived together, you were welcomed with the smell and the view of a freshly cooked dinner that Harvey probably had someone making for the two of you.
As you started taking off your coat and shoes by the door, Harvey came out of your shared bedroom wearing nothing but sweatpants and looking like he’d just taken a shower. “Oh, hey, honey!” He greeted you with a smile on his face. “Sorry I didn’t wait for you to shower but I mingled too much with people of dubious hygiene today, so I kinda really needed to get clean.”
“Ah, that’s okay,” you said while pouting cutely at the same time. “At least dinner is ready, 'cause I am starving!”
“Ha! You say it like it’s cutting-edge news!” He tells you, as he puts on a shirt 一 much to your disappointment. 
“What is that supposed to mean?!” You ask feigning offense while putting away your bag, shoes, and coat.
“It means that you’re always starving, sweetheart,” Harvey answers nonchalantly like it’s nothing.
“That is not true! Or at least it’s not entirely true: I’m always starving if it’s past mealtime and I haven’t eaten!”
“Sure, whatever you say, baby!” He says it already knowing that your hunger and all the pet names will only soften you.
“You know what? After today I don’t even have the energy to bicker with you…”
“That bad, huh?”
“The ED was a complete chaos today, apparently all hospitals were swamped, which is why they called more surgeons downstairs to help out. I’ve been on my feet the entire day! I’m basically dead.”
“Dramatic… But I’m sorry you had a shitty day, baby.” He said coming to hug you from behind in your bathroom. Looking at your reflex in the mirror 一 both of you, together like that 一 filled your heart with love and your mind with peace. Harvey was definitely your happy place.
Some time later, after you’d had your dinner, gotten ready for bed, and watched a sappy rom-com you chose, you and Harvey were already cuddling, almost asleep when you heard insistent knocking on the door.
“Stay here, honey, I’ll go see what that’s all about.” You sorta heard Harvey say to you as you lost your personal space heater.
Out in the living, Harvey opened the door only to find his associate Mike Ross standing there looking all tired and disheveled. Before his boss could even say anything, he went ahead entering the apartment mumbling about the case they were currently addressing in the office.
“Harvey, you’re not gonna believe what I found about our not-so-innocent school teacher!” He said to the older man with such energy that sounded like he had had a few too many energetics.
“What the hell, Mike?! Why are you showing up on my doorstep this late at night?”
“Because I knew you’d wanna see this as soon as possible, besides, it’s not like you’d have anything important going here, would you?” Mike asked sorta mocking Harvey.
Ignoring his employee’s last comment, he took the papers Mike was offering and said: “This better be good, Ross, otherwise you’re gonna meet a whole different side of me.
As Harvey started reading all the documents, Mike started having a look around, cause when would he have another chance at taking a peek at his boss’s house like that again? And he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing, he would definitely be making a few thousand jokes about it in the near future: there was a romance novel lying on the table, one of those with drawings on the cover that were becoming so popular then.
“Oh my God, Harvey, when were you gonna tell me about your love for reading?” He asked while pointing at the book with his head. 
As Harvey’s eyes emerged from the papers in his hands with a confused look to them, Mike continued: “You know you could have told me, in fact after seeing the kinda genre you like I might actually ask for some recommendations, you know, to get my grandmother a few as presents.” The younger man said already starting to laugh loudly.
“That’s not mine…” Harvey began to answer with his mind still on the documents at hand.
“Oh no? You know there’s no need to lie to me, I promise I’ll try not to judge!”
“Funny. But that’s actually-”
“Mine!” You said as you came out of the bedroom wearing nothing but one of Harvey’s expensive dress shirts. “I don’t think we’ve met yet!” You exclaimed, already extending your hand to shake Mike’s. “I’m (y/n), Harvey’s girlfriend.”
“Girl- g- girlfriend?” Mike looked so shocked he almost choked on his laughter.
“Yes, but it’s doctor (y/l/n) for you.” He answered instinctively moving to your side. “What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart?”
“Sweetheart?” Mike murmured to himself in disbelief of the version of Harvey he was seeing, especially after their argument in the office and the things he’d said to Harvey.
“Well, I assumed it was something work-related when I noticed how long it was taking you to come back and came to drag you back to bed!” You announced to your boyfriend entangling your bodies with certain disregard for the other man standing there in shock.
Only then did Mike notice a framed picture on the sideboard behind him and it displayed both you and Harvey looking at each other with love in your eyes as he carried you bridal style into the water on a beach. Which was another surprise to the young attorney since he didn’t even know that Harvey was a fan of beaches.
“So you’re the famous Mike Ross, then?” You asked, catching his attention again. “You know, it’s very rare for someone to impress Mr. Specter here like you did!”
“Oh, honey, don’t do that, or he’ll spend an entire month finding new ways to subtly bring up in every conversation-”
“Oh, there won’t be anything subtle about it, Mr. Specter,” Mike said mockingly, finally coming out of the shock he had been on. “But I’m curious now, how long have you two been together?”
“About three years, isn’t it, babe?” You answered quickly not paying any mind to the mockery on Mike’s voice.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Wow, I never would’ve guessed it. Harvey never talks about you. Like ever.” Mike impolitely announced. “I mean, I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend and it’s been months since we started working together.”
“Well, that sounds about right since we don’t like to display our personal lives at work.” You said nonchalantly.
“But do Jessica and Donna know?”
“Of course they do. Must I remind you that you’re not a Donna or a Jessica, Mike?”
“Ouch. But do Lewis and Rachel know?”
“No, and no. And as interesting as your findings were, it’s time for you to leave. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow at the office.”
“But-”
“Mike. Now!”
“Oh, Harvey, don’t be like that.” 
“He needs to go now and we need to go back to bed, so bye, Mike!” Harvey said while shoving Mike out the door.
And after he was gone, just like in the picture, Harvey picked you up from the floor and started carrying you back to the bedroom.
��Harvey!” You squealed out. But he didn’t mind it as he tossed you on the bed, got on top of you, and started kissing you. Apparently, Mike’s visit had put him in a good mood. And, apparently, it was going to be a long night.                                                                 
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talaok · 2 years ago
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Just this once
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!babysitter!reader
Summary: Everyone hates you in town, everyone except for Mr. Miller, who was kind enough to hire you as his daughter's babysitter.
Warnings: mentally and verbally abusive father, angst, unreciprocated love, no happy ending. Smut| oral sex (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex, creampie
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Everyone hated you in this town.
Kids at school, moms, dads, even grandparents sometimes.
People crossed the street when they saw you, they waited until you turned around to whisper and scorn to the person beside them.
Everywhere you went, followed dirty looks and rude remarks.
In the hallways at school, at the drug store, pharmacy, park, you name it.
Everywhere, everyone seemed to despise old Carl's daughter just for being born, or maybe, maybe also because of the rumors that spread about her.
Like the one where you dealt drugs, which was not not the truth... but you never dealt meth.
Or the one where you'd fucked half the guys in town,
And least but not last, the one where you were the reason you poor pops had turned to alcohol.
Except they didn't know anything. they didn't know that your "poor pops" had begun his diet of a bottle of whiskey a day long before you were born, that he drove your mom mad to the point where she had fled without so much as a goodbye, leaving behind a few clothes and a stupid scrap of paper where she had written a fucking lie.
I love you
If she had actually loved you, she wouldn't have left.
And they didn't know that all the anger your father had, had turned to you, they didn't know how scary it was, to be afraid of your own father, to be alone at the age of thirteen, to have to take care of yourself, to have to grow up faster than you should.
They all hated you, and you didn't care, you swore you didn't care, because they didn't know, they didn't know shit.
But Mr. Miller was different.
He was the only person, together with his daughter, who had ever shown you kindness, the real kind.
He had seen you sobbing as you ran from your house after your dad had another one of his "episodes".
And god, you were so confused when he stopped you, when he put a hand on your shoulder and asked if everything was alright.
And you didn't tell him then, you didn't tell him everything that was going on and that your dad was an asshole and that your life was hell, you couldn't, there was always this everlasting shame fizzing underneath your skin whenever you felt the need to share. But he hadn't cared, he hadn't cared that you had told him nothing, he hadn't cared that all you did was say sorry and I need to go, because with just a glance it felt like he had seen right through you.
So then he'd told you where he lived, and even if that time he couldn't convince you to come in, it was you who showed up at his doorsteps two nights after, asking for a place to sleep which he offered without so much as a question.
And it was only a week later when you told him everything.
He had sat and listened as you cried and cried, he had stroked your hair and given you tissues, until finally, he offered you a job.
Babysitting his kid.
And you were scared at first, you weren't really equipped for the job, but the moment you met Sarah you realized just how easy it was gonna be.
taking care of her was fun, and it gave you an excuse to be away from your own home, sometimes even at night when the mere thought of seeing your father made you want to puke.
And Mr. Miller was always nice, he made breakfast, overpaid you like crazy, and he listened, he was always there to listen.
"dad, what are you talking about?" 
Mr. Miller's backyard was always perfectly mowed, and the treehouse he'd built his daughter stood high on the oak in the middle of it.
"I said-" even if you couldn't see him, you swore he was taking another gulp straight from the bottle " Where the fuck are you?" 
"I'm working dad, I told you" you said, trying to remain as calm as possible.
"You working?" he laughed "That's funny" he said, as his laugh turned into a disgusting cough "Tell me where you really are." his voice was slurry, but the anger in it still made you shiver "You at one of your boyfriends' houses?"
"No Dad, I'm at Mr. Miller's house" you sighed, it was sad really, how used you were to this by now.
"Mr. Miller huh?" a hiccup sounded through the phone "You fucking him too? You started going for older guys? Is that it? I bet that's it you little slut" he hissed "Your mother would be so disappointed... to see her only daughter grow up to be such a fucking whore"
There's a difference, when it's strangers calling you names, and when it's your own father.
You'd always wished his words didn't affect you, but somehow, they always found a way to hurt.
No matter how tough you made yourself to be, when it was him, you felt like a kid all over again.
"fuck you" you muttered, as tears pricked your eyes 
"Is that how you talk to your father you little bitch? Just wait till you come home, I'll see what you'll have to say then-"
And there were so many things you wanted to tell him, to scream at him, to drill into his non-existing brain, but all you did was press the red button and hung up.
And it took about a second before the tears started flowing like rivers.
You ran back inside the house, forgetting all about closing the glass door as you curled into a ball on the couch, trying to cry as silently as you could, so that Sarah wouldn't wake up.
You hated him. You hated everything, you just wanted to run away and start a new life somewhere else, Canada, Austria, even the fucking north pole sounded better than this.
You were just so tired, so exhausted. Every time you talked to your father all the energy you had, or thought you had left, got drained from your body, and for hours, you remained lifeless,
The only exception was when-
The front door opened, and those purposely quiet footsteps that you would have recognized anywhere, followed soon after.
Him, the only exception was when he was there to comfort you.
You sat up, quickly wiping your tears to try and look somewhat presentable.
"hey," he whispered, entering the living room "Sarah's asleep?"
"mh-mh, yes" you nodded
"I'm sorry I came home this late, it's just that the guys wanted to go out after work and I always tell them no..." he trailed off, as he sat next to you and got rid of his overused boots.
"I-It's not a problem, Mr. Miller"
He shook his head, smiling in that charming way of his as he sat his shoes next to the coffee table and turned to look at you.
"How many times have I told you that you can just call me J-"
But his words died in his throat the moment he caught a glimpse of your red, puffy eyes, (that he'd come to know too well) and of that look on your face.
"What happened?"
They were such simple words, but they hit like tnt too close to a dam, breaking the barrier and causing all the water to run out.
His arms were around you the moment the first tear fell.
"shh" he cooed, stroking your back as you sobbed into his chest "It's alright, everythin's alright, sweetheart"
You wrapped your arms around his broad torso, feeling all his muscles underneath the fabric as you drowned in his scent. He always smelt so manly and so... good.
"I-I'm sorry it's just" A sob climbed up your throat "He-he called and I-I" You never finished the sentence as other tears started flowing from your eyes.
"I'm sorry honey" he cooed, placing his cheek on top of your head"it's ok" he murmured "It's all gonna be fine, I promise"
"w-when?" you cried, finally looking up at him "I'm so tired of this Mr. Miller..."
"soon" he promised "You're a smart girl, you'll get far in life sweetheart, I just know it"
you breathed heavily into his chest for a few minutes, listening to his heart beat as you calmed your own.
"t-thank you" you sniffled
"of course, darlin'"
And as you glanced at him, at his soft beard, at his kind eyes, your brain short-circuited and your mouth got a mind of its own, and before you realized it, your lips were on his.
And god he felt so good
"y/n-" he spoke as you tried to deepen the kiss "What are you doing?"
"I just-" you stuttered, not able to tear your glaze off his soft lips "please" you murmured, not knowing what else to say as you leaned up to kiss him again,
"sweetheart this ain't right I-"
"please Mr. Miller" you begged, placing your hand on his shoulder and pecs, as you left a quick kiss on his lips again "please just this once"
"y/n..." he tried to speak but was interrupted by your mouth finding his neck.
"please" you repeated for the thousandth time, your breath fanning over his neck "just this one time" 
"darlin'... I don't know if this is a good idea"
"it is" you quickly corrected him, your kisses lowering down his body, until all you could do was shuffle off the couch to get between his parted legs "it's a really good idea"
You saw him swallow thickly at the sight before him
"no sweetheart, you don't gotta do that"
"I want to" you reassured him, hurriedly undoing his belt and zipper until his black boxers were all that obstructed your view.
You palmed his manhood through the fabric, feeling it harden underneath your palm, before you gently took it out, looking up at him for approval as you wrapped one hand around it and let your lips follow suit.
A loud shuddering breath fled his mouth as you fitted more and more of him into your mouth, and you took it as an incentive to get lower, fully choking on his cock.
"f-fuck" he groaned
You started bobbing your head up and down, your eyes never leaving the sight of him breathing heavily before you.
You were doing good, but you wanted to do amazing for Mr. Miller, so you gingerly took his cock out of your mouth to start a slow trail of kisses and kitty lips down the whole length of him, until you reached his balls, and without a second thought, reserved them of the same treatment, before starting to suck on those too.
"fuck. me." he breathed, throwing his head back as he shut his eyes.
You leaned away for a moment, still pumping him with your hand "Does it feel good?" you asked
"fuck-yeah sweetheart" he gulped, looking down at you "it feels real fucking good- you're-fuck-you're amazing"
The biggest smile ever spread on your face at that, and with a renewed vigor, you got back to sucking his balls even better.
series of profanities continued coming out of his mouth as you got back to his dick, letting your tongue run on his tip for a few moments before getting back to filling your mouth with it.
You watched his hands curl by his sides, and without thinking, you let one of your own travel to his, softly placing your palm over it in a makeshift hold, which wasn't really a hold because he didn't turn his hand to do it properly.
But it didn't matter now, he was enjoying this, something you were doing for him, something you had dreamed of doing to him times and times again, and that's all you cared about.
You bobbed your head for a few more moments before you leaned away and quickly got up to get rid of your pants.
He watched you, too fucked out and torn with guilt and confusion to understand anything anymore, step out of your panties, place your hands on his shoulders, and straddle him.
you reached down for his dick, and without too much of a premise, sank down on it.
"oh god" you moaned, stopping a moment to take a deep breath at the feeling, as a low groan rumbled in his chest.
"you feel so good" you murmured, kissing him passionately as you started riding him.
His hands gripped your waist as a way for him to try and ground himself back on this earth because fuck but, you felt fucking good too
"touch my tits please" you said, ghosting his mouth.
"Sweetheart..."
"Please, Mr. Miller" you pouted, rising and sinking from his cock even faster
"Joel- please call me Joel" 
"Please Joel, touch my tits"
And who was he to say no to you when you asked him like that?
One of his big strong hands seeped underneath your top and found your boobs, stroking and grabbing at them heavenly.
You couldn't help but gasp at the mix of pleasures, your head falling to the crook of his neck.
The sound bouncing off the walls of the living room was straight out dirty and the breeze coming from the open glass door on your left softly floated through the room, at times hitting your raw skin.
"oh my god" you whimpered, muffled by Joel's skin "o-oh my"
He was filling every inch of you, stretching you so fucking good it made you want to scream if it wasn't for Sarah sleeping just upstairs.
You lost yourself in him, in his soft grunts, in his most raw scent, in the way his beard rutted against your cheek, and slowly, slowly you felt a bubble form in your belly, getting more and more ready to explode.
"F-fuck" you whined, "I-I think I'm-I'm coming"
His only response was to tighten his hold on you, before you fastened your pace, desperately chasing your high.
your breathing got even heavier as you remerged from his neck to look at him in the eyes and meet his lips with yours once again.
Kissing his was like traveling to another universe, he was just so... perfect
 "Joel" you whispered, losing yourself in his hazel eyes, as the pleasure got stronger and stronger until you felt like you could barely breathe "Joel I love you"
You watched his eyes widen slightly but before he could speak your orgasm took over your body and you had to hide your head in the crook of his neck again to try not to moan too loud.
"it's ok" he murmured, placing a hand on the back of your head soothingly "It's all gonna be ok sweetheart"
You rode out your high, never stopping your movements, and by the time you had come down from it, Joel was on the verge of it.
"shit-I'm coming" he groaned "Where do you want it?"
 "inside" you whispered without missing a beat
"I c-can't honey-"
"please Joel" you whimpered, starting to get overstimulated "Please fill me up, Joel"
And with that simple sentence, he was done for.
"fuck-shit. shitshitshitshit" That's all he managed to spit out, as ropes of his come filled you up to the brim, just like you wanted.
You took a moment to compose yourself, inhaling his scent one more time, before you slowly got off of him.
And as you did, the moment it was all done, a strange sensation overtook you.
you'd thought that this was all you wanted, that this was gonna make you feel better, and yet... yet you couldn't help but feel like a piece of you was missing, you couldn't help but feel emptier than you were to begin with.
As you watched him hurry to put his boxers back on, you couldn't help but think that, once again, you had managed to fuck everything up.
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sallyb-sin · 17 days ago
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Spoilers for Summer of All Fears:
Something of note we see of post-matrix adult Morty is that he was basically Evil Morty with more extreme PTSD and a vendetta against mainly phone chargers.
He was smart enough to be able to correct Rick about the death race car:
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And was able to hide his true motives until Rick let his guard down:
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I mean, lbh, Rick had this coming from his Morty for a while, but what makes this sad was that it came from a 17 year older Morty who has been to prison and war, losing everyone he grew to love due to being unable to die. And this was all because he borrowed a f*cking phone charger!
He had so many justifications to go Evil Morty here. He looked just as bored and even the last thing he said to Rick before he left sounded like something Evil Morty would say:
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But what was pretty disturbing was that this wasn't enough to make Morty sick of Rick. He had the chance to use his newfound knowledge and skills to do anything to his grandpa, and all he did was stick him in his own matrix after kissing him goodbye:
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And then go off to take down a nuclear power plant. Morty went through sh!t, and it was basically turned into a joke by making him focus on dooming the country just to get rid of phones. That just frustrated me. It was a great episode for the most part, but because they were trying to make it funny, they didn't allow the tragic implications of it to be taken seriously:
Rick never truly regretted doing what he did to Morty and Summer. In fact, he was happy to be hanging out with post-matrix adult Morty despite seeing what it did to him.
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He didn't apologize, and he faced no true consequences for his original pettiness. Which I get is the basis of the show, but I truly believe Morty deserved to have a crash out at Rick or at least remember what happened so he could use that experience in the future or never forget what Rick put him through. He's already desensitized at a level of being a threat to Homeland Security, why no expand on it? He's literally killed, tortured, and ruined the lives of numerous people and aliens, why not have him become more like Evil Morty and stay like that? Let him really consider how Rick ruined his life and made him this way for no good reason?
The show can still be funny, but come on, let's have an actual story here! I'm not saying we need to make Morty into Evil Morty, but let Morty become what Rick is basically forcing him to become, it would make the series so much more interesting and have more potential for future seasons.
Also, they brought back the Wubba Lubba dub-dub thing, anyone think it might be foreshadowing?
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colleybri · 1 month ago
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I’m not passing any final judgement on Bix’s arc until the very end of the series, but it’s worth pointing out that Bix might never be able to return to the person that she was in her first scenes of season 1. Obviously, we have to fill in a lot of gaps between the arcs but remembering that she has survived (and the implication is that she is the only survivor) this particular form of torture makes her trauma more damaging and profound than probably anyone else’s in the series. The most important factor in her relationship with Cassian is the profound and long lasting friendship. They have always had that regardless of their romantic status. They tried repeatedly to be together in early years, but Cassian‘s own trauma at that time prevented this. Timm was a choice on the back of a grudging acceptance that she could not be together with Cassian in this way. The season 1 production briefing explains this background:
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It’s absolutely a relationship with trauma bonding, overprotectiveness, and even codependence built into it. That doesn’t make it any less valid, powerful or deserving of happiness. Neither is it badly written; it’s realistic. Cassian overcoming his “fear of being loved” (Diego Luna) allows him to commit at long last. Bix can finally be with the love of her life rather than the love “for” her life, her “plan B” (how Adria Arjona describes the relationship with Timm).
As for Bix in chapter 3… she’s taking a break. Why not? She’s found some peace, the natural world she was so craving, spiritual awareness. Along with all that, the growing sad realisation of what she will need to sacrifice. My prediction is this is all going to pay off in the final episodes.
Full recovery from trauma and addiction is extremely rare. Bix is incredibly strong to have made it this far. She may never again be who she once was, but perhaps that growth is a good thing too, as she clearly wasn’t happy even then.
Edit: another interesting factor is how extremely sexually comfortable they are as a couple. The inclusion of lots of good old-fashioned physical pleasure in their lives and relationship is another aspect I find very convincing about it. “The nights are fun” at least. It’s fascinating to contrast them with Syril and Dedra, for whom physical intimacy seems an intimidating yet alluring challenge to deal with rather than something to just relax and enjoy. 
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entamesubs · 2 months ago
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Yu-Gi-Oh! Go Rush!! Episode 151 Sub Release (END)
Torrent
Support us on ko-fi
Please make sure to read the FAQ if you have any questions.
Thank you for three years of Go Rush!! There are notes from the team under this cut alongside the translation notes.
These three years have been a blast, and I hope you enjoy the last episode as much as we did!
Go Rush!!
-------------------------------
"Wings and Courage"
Yuuhi and Yuamu's names in Japanese are written as 遊飛 and 遊歩, respectively. The first kanji in their name is the standard Yu-Gi-Oh! protagonist yuu- (meaning "game"). The second kanji is what Yuudias refers to when he calls them his wings and courage.
Yuuhi's second kanji is 飛, meaning "to fly". Meanwhile, Yuamu's second kanji is 歩, meaning "to walk". By flying with Yuuhi's wings and walking forward with Yuamu's courage, Yuudias is complete.
遊天亜守 Yuudei Asu
Yuudias' old-timey name as revealed at the end is Yuudei Asu, complete with kanji. Altogether, the kanji seem to have mainly been picked just as a way to "spell out" the sound of "Yuudias" rather than for meaning.
However, if there's anyone that can wrangle meaning out of a couple mismatched kanji, it's me.
遊 - play, game 天 - sky, heavens 亜 - next, sub- 守 - guard, protector
This can be read, liberally, as "cosmic protector of games" or, more simply, by taking out the yuu- kanji that every Yu-Gi-Oh! protagonist has, "defender of the cosmos".
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Messages from the entameSubs Team
"i love you go rush and yuamu you will always be famous to me" - Tessa (aka batsugeemu, proofreader and pinch translator)
"Thank you for watching Yu-Gi-Oh! Sevens and Yu-Gi-Oh! Go Rush with our subtitles. I remember being six and watching Duel Monsters episodes split into three parts on Youtube--I never could have imagined actually working on any of the series myself. Even so, I'm really grateful for the past five years with entamesubs. I made irreplaceable friends, and my Japanese, which I had only learned lightly as a hobby, was able to help spread a series I love with so many people, and grow into a skill I'm proud to have. It's strange to think of a future filled with weekends without a new episode to watch or work on, but my love for Yu-Gi-Oh will never die! Until the next series, let's rush, rush, go rush!" - Yona (aka angelthinktank, proofreader and translator)
"one last pu-puku-pu" - Quas (aka quasthecat, quality checker)
"Rest easy yall knowing Yuga and the crew got their happy ending while Otes lived out his dumb old man life at the mercy of kuaidul" - Merlin (aka merlinwizaa, timer)
-------------------------------
At the end of a long five year journey, my work on Yu-Gi-Oh! SEVENS and Go Rush!! has now come to an end.
I don't quite know how to put my feelings into words, but first let me express my gratitude. Rush era Yu-Gi-Oh! saved my life in more ways than one, and has let me meet new friends and create wonderful memories with many people. Every episode that went by, and every week that passed as I worked on this series was a blast. My Japanese has improved considerably since I began, and I was able to flex my own writing muscles with the over-the-top summon chants that I always enjoy translating.
I remember being one of the only people that kept holding onto belief that Go Rush would get a third year - a belief that turned out to be true in December of 2023. It has been so very exciting to work on Go Rush and share my joy and passion with others.
In a similar vein to one of Arthur's tweets, aka the VA of Yuudias, I kept thinking to myself "once I type this last line, once I translate this final word, it'll all be over". At the push of a publish button, my work as part of [entameSubs] will come to a warm and bittersweet end.
Yuudias and the cast of Go Rush have truly been my sources of joy for the past three years, and I am sad to see them go. I am overwhelmed with emotion about the implications of the final episode, as Yuudias endured 500 long years to meet with the twins again.
I have cried in the middle of translating, and even while I was writing this, I delayed the final word of my translation just a little so it won't be "over" just yet.
As someone who has been watching Yu-Gi-Oh! live as it aired in Japan since 5Ds, I have to say this is the most emotional ending that has ever affected me so much in a Yu-Gi-Oh!. I am overcome with an appreciation and fondness for Go Rush, and it has become my absolute most favorite Yu-Gi-Oh!, bar none. And I have seen every single one without fail.
Once again, thank you for three years of Go Rush! Until the day I die, this series will stick with me into forever. The people I have met, the journey I have been on alongside these characters, growing up with them, and of course the entameSubs team has been a great source of happiness. I will miss all of it.
My fellow Go Rush countrymen! Let us meet again!
- Ciel (aka "entame", the main translator and head of entameSubs)
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bronx-bomber87 · 2 months ago
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Hello awesome readers and lovely fandom :) Best part of my week has arrived once again. Our Mid-Week goodness. Well mid-week for me lol Hard to believe we're 3 away from the season ending already.... Insane to think we're at this point. The documentary eps are always so split in how they are received. I personally have always loved them. Usually really funny and produce amazing Chenford content.
If nothing else for people who don't like them we get that. Which we still got in this one. It came in a form I wasn't expecting. But this season as I've said before has been a wild card. It's been giving and unexpected this entire time. Which I really do appreciate. s7 has been one for the books for the most part. Said this before with longer seasons though we do tend to forget is there are more filler-like ones along the way. This one felt more so than others have this year. Other than the Chenford in this ep it wasn't my fav. Not gonna lie.
Honestly once they were no longer a factor in this episode I lost interest tbh. Which was a first for me this season. Because I have been loving the ensemble of it all this year. Even with 7x10 and 7x13 which weren't my fav all around other SL's kept me engaged. They missed the mark with this one in terms of a whole episode. Coming off 'Double Trouble.' being our last one they had a lot to live up to and didn't. But I'll get into that more in my side notes. Lets dig into the ship moments we did get shall we?
7x15 A Deadly Secret
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We hit the ground running with our ship. Lucy looking adorable and excited per usual with these. Tim being classic Tim. Not wanting to be here in the least. Their usual M.O. for these kinds of eps. Some things never change haha It was pretty Meta of Alexi to mention them as his 'Favorite' couple heh We are the most-loved and go-to of the ships on the show. Forever grateful for this fact. We all know they are but this was a fun little nod to that. And it having it be Alexi say it made me happy I will say.
Tim barking at him to keep it professional. Seconds after doing this he is already over it LOL The death glare only he can give so well had me cackling. I loved the shots between him and this dude. The way they pan to Tim then to him and back to Tim. Had me laughing so much. Eric the master of expressions crushing it here. He always pushes Tim's buttons and regrets it. I love him effectively killing his questioning with just a look. Getting a defeated 'Sorry. Moving on.' reply in return. Oh Tim Bradford I love you so.
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What I always love about these types of episodes are the shared looks. That silent communication on display for all to see. They showcase their chemistry without even realizing they're doing so. It's why this guy loves them the most. They exude it without knowing they're even doing so. It’s in the way they instinctively touch base with each other first, a unspoken check-in that says more than words ever could. Gah I love it sfm. The shared looks up above being a great example of this.
Eric and Melissa do it so well. I don't know how they do it, but I'm deeply thankful these two actors embody this ship. It's more like they're talking to each other more so than the camera or this director. In their own world. It's the little things I always appreciate with them. They barely give the crew eye contact. Just look at them. More engaged with each other than the people around them. Also can't say I hate Tim's posture in the very beginning of this. Hello sexy forearm happy to see you.
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This scene proving Lucy is and forever will be the exception for Tim. We may have a more open and emotionally available Tim this season, but not when it comes to this. I was wondering if they were going to lean into that with this but they didn't. I'm pretty ok with that. He is willing to change and be that for her but no one else. No one that isn't someone of importance to him or has a real place in his life I should say.
He opened up to John in 7x07 about Lucy which was massive progress. But Lucy is going to be the main beneficiary of that change more than anyone else. So with that being said he's not going to do that with this crew. Especially when it's just to exploit them and their feelings. Does crack me up he says he'll just ask Rachel later.... Dude just wants to know what happened with them. Get in line bub. The entire station wants to know the answer to that question. You will have to wait good sir.
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I love this scene for couple reasons. The main one just being Tim looking at her while she speaks. The admiration and reverence makes my shipper heart skip a beat. Nodding along as she does so. The man says so much with just a look. I mean he always looks at her intently whenever she speaks in these. Which I adore on so many levels. But just has an added level with his eyes extra soft while he watches her tear them a new one.
Which leads me to the second I enjoyed this bit. Lucy just telling them like it is. She has gotten a lot less star struck with these since s4. Not afraid to let her rip so to speak. Telling them their theory is outlandish. That the actions of these people are their own not inspired by anything else. Love our girl.
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This is where it really gets good. It was mainly crumbs before this moment. I was excited once we reached here and Tim said ‘I hate making mistakes in front of you.’ I knew we were in for some goodness. Oh my lord. Now they may be high af here but there is truth behind their statements regardless. That line of his. *heart clutch* I said this last year in my 6x07 review and analysis of Tim. How he holds himself to a higher standard and didn’t want to fail in front of Lucy because of it. For her to think less of him when he does.
Because in his mind, mistakes equal failure, and he’s afraid of being anything less than enough in her eyes. Which, as we all know, she’s never seen him in that light. He consistently forgets she saw him at his dumpster fire worst and didn't think it then. But as someone who also struggles with that myself it's not as easy as just telling him that. This is how they figure out they are drugged though. Because all season Tim has been meeting Lucy where she is at. Respecting her boundaries and only sharing what he felt was appropriate to in the moment.
This is clearly a subconscious thing he is letting slip out due to the drugs. A deep rooted fear of his he's felt for years coming out without his consent. For Lucy to see him as less than through his mistakes. I love her soft 'Oh, you've never admitted that before.' Getting a little insight into the man before her in a way she didn't have before. This felt like a preview of a convo to be had later IMO. Their need to have a serious convo literally rising to the surface in this moment.
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Tim can feel this and it's why he tries to stop them from talking any further. If they're going to have a serious talk he want to be sober for it. I too would like this lol My soul longs for it really. He's also worried something is going to come out they're gonna have to deal with later. Which does happen... High Lucy can't help herself though. haha I love her starting off with something hilarious though. Asking what his most embarrassing memory is?
Tim doesn't take more than a second to reply. This stuff must be so potent for him to just drop knowledge like this. It's an adorable story about baby Tim. I adore him loving his hamster so much he took it to school with him. Snuck it in. I cannot. My damn heart. Lucy's laughter makes my soul lighter. Clearly thrilled with the answer she got from him about it. I would love to know what happened during all that fast-forwarding. The random convos they must've had.
How and why did she let her hair down? Looks like Tim maybe helped her do this? It went so fast I couldn't tell. I seriously wanna know how we ended up at the convo below. My guess is Lucy's questions got more serious for us to end up there. Or Tim couldn't stop from spilling his guts. A common theme with his relationship with Lucy let's be honest. He's never been able to stop her from extracting things from him that he would never tell anyone else. Her Tim superpower.
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This felt like my 6x07 review come to life I have to say. Delighted me to no end. All the things I said in my analysis of Tim last year. Of why he did he what he did. To shed light on the meaning of it all, for a fandom emotionally struggling to understand the root cause of it all. Also because I felt it was something that absolutely needed to be acknowledged and shared. Now even though he's saying it because he's high, it doesn't make it any less satisfying to hear. He has learned something about himself. About why he does things the way he does. Which is a game changer. It shows that therapy has helped Tim grow into this version of himself. Big time. To realize all the things he didn't when he was going through it all during 6x06-6x07. I'm so proud I could cry. Saying things I dreamed about him putting together.
Then telling Lucy one day when he was ready to share it, and she was ready to hear it. Here we are with him sharing all that. What he shares next is growth I have legit longed about him having. Tim saying he internalized all his dad did to him. It was the message he had been fed his entire life: that failure equaled punishment. And without him there to inflict it, Tim punished himself instead. My broken boy. Telling himself he deserved to be punished for failing with Ray. So he did so by breaking up with her. By taking away the one good thing in his life. In his eyes, she represented the highest form of penance for actions he couldn’t even begin to understand himself at the time. This is so big fandom. Because in 6x07 he had zero idea or awareness surrounding this.
Tim found himself at a loss when Blair raised the topic back then; he couldn’t quite make sense of his own actions. At the time he didn’t think about that. Because all he could think was he wasn’t worthy and that was it. So for him to be at this place now is massive. To me maybe this is another shake up. What I mean by that is Lucy was reserved af towards him till the 7x08 confession occurred. The experience left a deep impact on her, and over time, she became more open to Tim and his efforts to change. To make it up to her. This could be the wake up call they both need to finally have their reconciliation convo following this. There is going to be residual emotions after this even if we don't see right in this moment.
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Lucy even though she is high as a kite is putting together what happened. Getting clarity for the first time since he left her in that parking lot back in 6x06. It feels SOOOO good for her to finally hear this. Now was this the medium I was expecting this to happen in? God no. Of course not. This season continues its wild card ways, and if it leads to another real convo later on, I’m down. May not be the way we wanted this to start BUT it is huge progress. Because even though there are drugs involved prompting this. These are real feelings coming out. Real confessions. I did love him saying it was kinda flattering right?
Basically telling Lucy she's the best thing that ever happened to him. The one person who made him happier than anything else. *sigh* That losing her was the worst thing he could've done to himself. Essentially telling her she's the love of his life and the biggest thing he could've lost as punishment. LOVE Lucy's reply. It's everything I've wanted her to say to him since it happened. But as we all know he wasn't ready for this convo back then. He is now. Which is exciting as hell. And why Lucy laying it out that he didn't just punish himself when he broke them up. The hurt etched on her face guts me.
It punished her too. Took away her agency. Took him away. She was struck and deeply wounded by the emotional shrapnel he unleashed on them. That she became collateral damage in his attempt to outrun his failures and inflict punishment on himself. I've said this before and I'll keep saying it. I love that they continuously bring up the impact it had on her. That it is a wound that isn't to be ignored or have faded into the background. It is front and center until this is really talked out. Will that happen? Is this it? Idk tbh this season like I've said has been a wild card. What I do hope is that is prompts a deeper convo and reconciliation. My gut feels like it will but we shall see. Beauty of these first impressions. The analysis and guessing game.
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Tim saying 'I know.' I'll never be over him owning what he did to her. Makes me so happy. Look at my boy all grown up. So proud. This is SO incredibly necessary for them to move past this. For her to hear this. To witness he is so painfully aware of what he did to her. How he blew it with the love of his life and knows it. Tim is willing to just live with what he gets now with his follow up reply. Because he is still punishing himself in some form. Still not thinking he is worthy of her forgiveness fully. But being ok with that possibility. This is him coming to terms with the fate he created for himself. Now her reply is what makes me think they'll have another convo. If only to explain what she confesses to him. And her second almost confession inside it. (I'll explain that in a second)
Because just like Tim she slips up about something she's been holding close to her chest. That she's forgiven him. It's her 'It's not even-' that gets me. The second almost confession. What do I think this means? I believe she was going to say 'It's not even that.' I think it comes down to another issue for her. Trust. She wants SO badly to trust him emotionally again like that but hasn't gotten there. She has professionally in so many ways. She's forgiven him but it's the trusting him with her heart again where she is stuck. Which is why I think she giggles and is like 'Naww that isn't it. It's something else.' and then cuts herself off.... Too shocked by her previous confession to finish that train of thought. It sobers her a tad and explain her 'When did that happen?' comment.
Now the forgiveness when did that happen? I might have a better in depth answer when I do this for my master list. But for now I mean I feel like her actions in the last few episodes have screamed she had. Like I said in 7x14. Her emotionally opening up and leaning on him again was a sign. Folding immediately into him for their hug like she did in 6x04. Another big one. Her replies in 7x11 were a neon sign. It's been a slow development since 7x08. The whole season really but 'Wildfire' really kicked it off. I think the 7x08 confession dislodged her quite a bit. That and Tim’s consistent showing up for her. Praising her, building her up and just being emotionally available is what sealed the deal here.
I do love her cute giggle when she says it. Like it's supposed to be common knowledge to Tim she has done this. Like of course I forgave you already don't you know? I love you, you idiot. Why do you keep wondering if I will? Her follow up is classic to the giggling. 'Huh. I wonder when that happened?' Shocking even herself. This is going to require a follow up convo to their reconciliation I think. Just a gut feeling. I know nothing of what is to pass even if I had the chance to I wouldn't look. lol Just a feeling. Also I must note how amazing she looks with her hair down in uniform. Never thought I'd see the day lol But she is crushing it.
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Is this whole thing going to spawn another real talk? Will it prompt Tim to follow his own 7x07 advice and fight for her? I hope so. It feels unfinished for the reasons I gave above. This reconciliation has been a slow burn. Just like their build up to being together was. Once I was on the other side of that I was so happy it was done that way. It'll be the same way with this. Because of course it's going to take a slow burn to reconciliation. Very on brand for Chenford. Also just mature writing which I love. Now If that is it for the adult convo Idk how I feel about that in full yet. Need to sit on that longer. That's more reserved for post-season. There was a lot of good stuff in it, but once the next three episodes unfold, I’m sure I’ll have a better answer, especially this summer when I dive in deeper into this ep.
But to me it feels like we have one more emotional hurdle to jump before reconciliation IMO. Other than the Sergeant Exam. What I can tell you is Lucy is in a much better place now than she has been all season with the scene above. Why you ask? Her non-verbal reply to being asked if she didn't mean what she said? All season she has denied everything. Vehemently. Been firm about it. She did this in 7x06 with the guy at the booth, after they slept together and claiming just 'ex-sex.' Distancing herself from the emotion. In 7x08 even on fire couldn't say she still loved him back verbally. Fought that too. Watched her internal struggle to accept his compliment in 7x11. Created an emotional boundary in 7x12 to avoid the emotions she feels for this man. Funny thing is all those things she fought led to this.
Here when asked if she didn't mean what she said then? Lucy stumbles....Not only that but looks at Tim and can't refute it. Her reaction is reply enough. Knowing she meant everything she said in that convo. Reminds me of towards the end s4 Lucy. Where her facade to keep her feelings about Tim inside were an absolute farce. Also look at Tim's SOFT eyes when she does. It's the most emotion we see in these interviews. Hoping against hope she meant everything she said. Director then ruins it with his follow up about the babies names LMFAO WHAT?! When did they have this convo? Was it before or after the confessions? I need to know.
My guess is before? Maybe it's what led to them having that talk? Idk but their in-sync refusal to stay had me dying. 'Why do we keep agreeing to do these?' I'm cackling. They are flying out of there so fast. Lucy all but squeaking out in panic 'Excuse Me?!' Too funny. Also they aren't going to have that convo on camera. Took us all season to get to this point and they had to be drugged to get there hahaha Wasn't what I was expecting but hasn't been all season in a good way. One of their themes. Now I did wonder if this was going to prompt a talk for them so I was somewhat right on that guess. heh
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Next week looks GOOOOD. I called Seth crawling his way back in. Idk HOW he did but I knew if anyone could it would be him. Tim and Lucy look like they're all but vibrating with rage with his return. Feral Tim reporting for duty. Gimme all that.
Nolan sure tries to come off scary and somewhat fails. But he's sure going to give it best. I will give him that. Gonna have his hands full. If they wanted him to wash out and shit his pants immediately should've gone with TIm. But that is a conflict of interest because of Lucy and being involved in his firing. Also not fair to Miles and his training.
I loved what Tim said about Seth finding another way of washing out again. I mean the weather service thing never came to light from Wildfire. I could see that coming back to bite him in the ass. It was far more than just the "cancer" that could've fired him. Shall see how it goes down. Thank you to the wonderful people who like, comment ( these are my fav not gonna lie haha)and reblog these. You make doing this so joyful. Shall see you all in 7x16 :)
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Side Notes-Non Chenford
Bummed because I usually like the Documentary ones. Also they have been killing it with the ensemble side of it all year and this one just didn't land for me. Other than Chenford was probably my least fav of the season. Never got going IMO and felt off and disjointed. Also Rodge made an appearance and he is not my fav lol Miles could've easily replaced his scenes but that's just me.
Appreciate another s2 callback with her but It felt like a missed opportunity. Like her and Henry broke up. That's sad why no explanation of any kind? Were they too young? Clashing wants in life? When did this happen? Was hoping that ending scene with John would've given us a little clarity but no. Felt very lack luster in what it could've been. They're always cooky but have a good tie in and they had tie ins but idk just fell flat for me. But onto the next tis but a small blip in the season.
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ryuuxwq · 2 months ago
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Powers and costs/ Inability to save a loved one
My suspicions were partially confirmed after the new episode. Kako and Mirai used to be human. Mirai was his niece. (I thought maybe he was her father)
In this manga, there is an understanding of “power for a price or a curse”. No matter what kind of power you have, you will pay a price.
Hanako even said that every wish has a price. But only for those who make a wish? No. Mysteries pay a price too.
Hanako is a ghost who fulfills the wishes of the living. In return, the wisher pays a price.
If he can grant the wishes of the living, why couldn't he grant Yashiro's?
At first Yashiro wanted Teru to fall in love with her. Then, when she turned into a fish, she wanted to become human again.
Teru was an exorcist. That's why he couldn't grant the first wish and he swallowed the same stamp as Yashiro to grant the second wish.
We later learned that Yashiro had a short lifespan and Hanako even tried many times to prolong her life, but nothing worked. That was his price. “Not being able to save the one you love.”
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This inability to save a loved one is also seen in other mysteries. In fact, one of the most tragic cases is Hakubo and Sumire's relationship.
Hakubo, aka the grim reaper. He has the power to live and kill. He can kill someone at will, and he can make someone live at will. In short, we can interpret it like this.
Then why didn't he use his powers for 500 years to bring Sumire back when she died? There could be other reasons. But in my opinion, That was his price. A reminder that his powers have limits. “You can kill as many people or supernaturals as you want, then resurrect them. But if you can't bring your loved one back to life, what's the point?”
And Hakubo made Sumire his yorishiro. so that even if she didn't live, she would be connected to him.
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And this “inability to save the person they love” does not only apply to those they are in love with. It can also be people they care about. For example, Tsuchigomori Ryuujirou can see the future of his students through the books in the library. He saw Yugi Amane's future, too. And yet he lost him. This is such a situation. Tsuchigomori can see the futures of as many of his students as he wants, it won't change anything. Because he can't change their futures.
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No.4 can create as many alternate universes as she wants, she will still not be able to protect the original Shijima Mei or be happy every time.
Yako can create as many puppets as she likes but she will never be able to make Misaki's puppet.
And finally, about Kako and Mirai. Akane has little to do with this situation. But he lost Aoi many times too.
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Time travel, rewinding time, controlling time are powers that everyone wants to have. And that's why those who have used them have paid the price. For their selfish desires.
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Not only the puppets, Kako also paid the price. He killed Mirai when he tried to bring Mirai's parents back (i.e. erased her existence).
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The last remnant of his brother, the niece who warmed his cold heart, his adopted daughter. He killed her while trying to bring her family. And that was his price. The price for using the sand clock and changing the past. But he cared about her, a lot.
All 7 mysteries are paying the price for their own selfish flaws.
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jackattack20writes · 15 days ago
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So first thing I wanna bring up with the Nyaan section is how they’ve set it up for Nyaan and Machu’s positions to be switched. Not only is Nyaan now the one living the “cushy” life but she also has the dressings of higher society and a “mother” who has specific plans for her without getting her input, while Machu’s now the “refugee” “wild child” on the run from the police. And just like Machu Nyaan doesn’t have an interest in the life being set up for her and struggles to connect with her “contemporaries.”
“I don’t really want to go to school”
Moving past that is just how the blatant attempts to make Nyaan happy just unnerve her, the most obvious we see being Xavier. Every word he says while well intentioned is clearly carefully chosen to be whatever he thinks will most appeal her to Zeon and Nyaan notices. She calls him out on how he changes his opinions on luck and skill before and after she’s able to operate the GFreD and he doesn’t have a response so he just goes quiet.
However these faux niceties peak even before this in the episode with Miguel and the cake. The scene starts with Miguel and Xavier acting all friendly and sort of trying to include Nyaan but she just hovers on the outside with conch speaking up once or twice to say how nice it is to have friends like them, friends that would bake them a cake. But even so Nyaan’s so seperate from the two that when they talk about her possibly dying she’s able to sneak up on them which I think was intentional to show just how outside of Zeon Nyaan truly is. Then the faux niceties continue until Miguel tries to kill Nyaan, he tries to kill Nyaan with the cake she was admiring him for cooking.
And this is just the piece de resistance of the ep and possibly the show. The cake looks good, it looks rich and tasty and has chunks of fruit and thick icing and according to Xavier it tastes good. On the surface just like Xavier’s friendship with his classmates, Zeon’s willingness to take in Nyaan, and Kycilia taking special interest to look after her. Almost like it’s supposed to be exactly what Nyaan wants in life just like Machu’s mother’s plans for her. Good friends that’ll make her a cake and a home. But the cakes poison and the friends are, if not outright trying to kill her, willing to put her in situations where she’ll die for no reason at all. The cake and Nyaan’s wider interactions in Granada are a much more overt violent version of Machu’s life for the first half of the show, something that looks good but underneath is poisoning her.
And the best part is, Nyaan can tell! She calls Miguel out as the murderer before vaporising him, she calls Xavier out for saying what he thinks she wants to hear and she starts thinking about going to earth as soon as she finds out Machu’s going there. Because Zeon was always a short term fix to get away from the cops in side 6. There’s a reason Nyaan either has a death grip on them or conch is sitting on her head the entire episode, she knows where she wants to be and it’s not in Zeon it’s with Machu and Shuji. And now that she’s knows that not only has Machu escaped from Sodon (everytime I think of this ship I have to correct myself from saying white base) but she has the Gquuuuuux and is heading to earth Nyaan is going to meet her there.
Because as Nyaan said Machu’s the real deal. The thing Nyaan has faith in isn’t Zeon, it’s Machu. After last episode and Nyaan’s words this ep it’s pretty clear Nyaan is holding herself responsible for what happened with Shuji, not only did she “fail” to get him to Machu, she “failed” to keep him safe. In her eyes Machu’s plan was perfect she just messed it up. So she ran because she couldn’t bear to face Machu with her failure, But now she has a Gundam of her own, so she can help Machu save Shuji from whatever happened and sure, she might feel stronger things for both of them than they do her(in her mind at least) but they’re the people she feels a home with and unless something changes wildly I don’t think anything Kycilia does will convince Nyaan otherwise.
(PS. Like I think there’s a point to Nyaan specifically calling out Miguel for betraying Xavier and killing their friends and how much trust they would’ve had in him because Nyaan thinks she did basically the same to Machu with Shuji. I couldn’t really fit that in with the cake stuff but it felt important to mention.)
TLDR. Nyaan and Machu have swapped social standing and and social situations and Nyaan has no allegiance to anything other than the dense bisexual tomato and in her eyes she can’t do anything wrong.
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