#being an amalgamation of all of them i think
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so i was reading this post and started yapping in the tags before deciding i actually just needed to make a separate post because i have brainworms. long unedited ramble sorry this doesn't make sense at all
adlerbell & co-dependency;
the sick irony lies in the fact that the co-dependency that exists within their relationship, most of the time, isn't even of their own volition, and yet they are the constant cause of their own entrapment. they NEED one another as much as they hate one another because they ARE each other. to their core.
bell is everything adler hates and opposes and wars against yet he NEEDS them to catch perseus no matter the cost; adler is bound to bell in a way where he is ironically beholden to them, his fate in their hands, even when he's technically the one in control, with the power and rank over them, the one holding the leash. yet without bell adler has little to nothing. powerless entirely. in that way, bell has power over him, that his whole world rests upon the pinprick that is their loyalty to him, which is a hairswidth away from being shattered the second they piece together who they are, what he's done to them.
and bell is obviously only who they are because of adler. warped god wrenching hands into their head and rearranging it all until they suit whatever he deems his perfect image when he needs it. friend, ally, team member. dog, prey, victim. whatever he needs them to be, they are.
and bell's entire personhood is adler. bell's entire world is adler. half himself, a mirror image, their head a scrambled soup of his memories and fears, of vietnam, of things that didn't happen to bell but did happen to adler, a point in time that existed but they were not a part of, not until adler dragged their body off that tarmac and forced them to be. without adler, bell is dead in trabzon, or nothing. and that kind of co-dependency is indescribable- to believe that this man is one who went through the horrors of war with you, your friend for over a decade, is one thing. but even when bell breaks free of their conditioning- to know that they are possibly only alive because he found them? to know that mk ultra, despite being the very thing that destroyed them, was the only thing that stood between them and an unmarked grave??
bell wants adler. but adler needs bell. and mf wants to stand at that fucking clifftop and claim that none of it was personal?? he created a home for bell within himself, how they trust him, rely on him, believe that he'll always pick them up- because even if not in vietnam, he did, once, in trabzon. and bell is a home to all the worst parts of himself, scraped out of him and put into the empty pit he carves out of them- his weaknesses, his fears, his trauma, his ruthlessness. (i could talk about how adler's hatred of bell might even be a reflection not only of them being the very culmination of everything he opposes, but that they're also an amalgam of every worst thing he hates about himself, but that's another post entirely.)
i just. it wasn't meant to be personal. bell was a tool for adler, and adler was just this figure meant to be imprinted on. all means to an end. but against their own volition, they rely on each other. they need each other. they are dead without each other. i think adler needs bell to make himself feel powerful. but god, if they aren't the very thing he has to tiptoe around and revere because without them he has nothing. no team, no perseus. and to bell, adler is not too far removed from a god, whether they know it or not. he made them. and i doubt the lamb wants to stray much too far from its shepherd. ugh. whatever.
don't even get me started on how their fates are inevitably intertwined. how even the narrative itself demands them be slave to each other's will. fuck everything
#this makes no sense and was a lot tidier in my head#adlerbell is codependent but in such a horrific way bc it's almost entirely against their will#like i cannot imagine#your entire fate hinging on the existence of the person who destroyed you#your life entirely surrendered to the other's hands#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#adlerbell#adler#bell#cod#call of duty#call of duty cold war#cod cw#cod bocw#call of duty black ops cold war#cod bo6#bo6#black ops 6#call of duty black ops 6#cod adler#cod bell#russell adler#adbell#thoughts
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Ok I am finally ready. Ready to tell you what happened 100 years ago, Link.
I am ready to put ideas into words. To start, be aware I am the biggest Mayuri simp fan this side of the Equatorial line, so if I sound biased... People, that's Blorbo Beebus.
With that out of the way...
About the latest episode!
Let's start with what I liked. Everything. There's nothing wrong here and you won't find complaints with me, roll credits.
So this model won't work. Let's try again.
✨Highlight Reel! Part 1!✨
- Ryusei. friggin. Nakao
This man was always good. As a singer he is stellar (Angel Calling, my beloved, LISTEN TO IT) but as a voice actor? SON.
We all know he also voiced Caesar Clown (OP) and Frieza (DBZ/DBS) but if you notice, he voices each of them in a very peculiar way.
And Mayuri's voice always had me weak in the knees. Szayelaporro's fight, in particular, used to take me very near to the Soul King.
And I say "used to" because this episode kinda pushed Szayel's episode down a set of stairs for me.
Again, I have so much to say but words fail me. But we gotta start somewhere.
Let's start with the obvious?!
You watched the episode. You are hearing it in your head right now, aren't you? YEAH. It almost sounds like he held this in for eons just waiting to launch it on the unsuspecting crowd. This laugh... Every time I am sad now, I just remind myself this exists, and my depression respectfully lets me enjoy this fact for three seconds.
Am I also concerned babygirl might be having a particularly dangerous Mania episode and playing a bit of Russian Roulette? Yes.
Still in this episode... All of the times Mayuri talks with Zaraki, but I will elaborate on that further later.
Another example? Here.
The way he is talking about how Pernida should honor Zaraki's noble sacrifice and the way his voice keeps going louder and more insane by the minute, culminating in his best Yandere performance in the third frame, just to do a 360 and call Pernida a stiff?!
I still haven't recovered.
It goes from "Oh he is enjoying himself so much you guys" in the first half to "Oh damn, that is Captain Kurotsuchi now, eh" in the second.
This episode, for me, wasn't only a visual delight, i was literally boiling alive because Ryusei knocked it out of three parks, not only one.
Also I gotta include, since we talking about voice actors...
Pernida.
Dude. Bin Shimada, Broly, THANK YOU.
That's like two kings in a room, I swear. Part of the fact I kinda like Pernida is because of his voice alone. This part here, you can almost see a ? on his... Fingers. Gestures? I dunno! But he managed to give a soul to a hand. A HAND.
And how does he even talk?! Disturbing.
Now onto the next section! (Or else I will keep going about all the voice actors!)
- Kenmayu
Everyone that knows me saw this coming a mile away. Look, even disregarding my ship, please. Ever since the last episode before this one.
Mayuri talks. Zaraki doesn't listen. Shenanigans ensue.
You can see how they are literally opposites to each other. Mayuri is analyzing everything and all Zaraki wanna do is smack that thang (hehe) real hard. It backfires tremendously. TWICE.
Because Zaraki didn't listen!
(And no, Yumichika, Mayuri doesn't have a big bad plan to fuck your captain up. At least not IMHO, he might have a plan, yes. But it's not what you think, oh no.)
But lemme just...
The way Mayuri talks to Zaraki.
It's an amalgamation of things. There's sarcasm, there's contempt, and flirting. Yes, flirting, because look me in the eye and say this wasn't flirting.
If Mayuri looked at me like that he would have a new subject, me.
But I am jumping the gun here! The scene before this one?!
I will have to do a part two because I reached the picture limit but...
The pure. Unadulterated. Concern. In Mayuri's voice here.
Mayuri is concerned with Zaraki. Zaraki immediately tells him not to worry too.
The same Mayuri that is famous for being ruthless, a lunatic, and heartless as hell is concerned for someone else.
Not only that, when Zaraki is forced to cut his arm so Pernida stops doing the twist™, Mayuri asks Nemu to tie his arm and stop the bleeding.
Some of you will tell me "He stabbed him right after!" And yes he did, young Padawan, but there's a method in his madness. And if you go and listen to that scene too, Mayuri goes back to talk to Zaraki like... In a "I am so sorry for hurting you, babe" tone. Whatchamacallit.... Ah yes! Conciliatory!
And even so, he says "When I stab you again."
He expects Zaraki to survive. To go back to Seireitei after this fight. God, he is telling Zaraki, right near his paralyzed self, that he will return and that he will be there to stab him again. In his own twisted Kurotsuchi way he is giving Zaraki a bit of hope.
This hurts me on a physical level, because I have an idea about this whole thing, but you guys will have to hold onto the single dark clue I will leave behind:
*What if both of them didn't go back?*
Well, Part 2 I guess! I have too many thoughts!
#kurotsuchi mayuri#bleach tybw#kenpachi zaraki#bleach#I won't apologize#i need to ramble to the air or else imma explode FR#and this is just episode one my dude#part two will end my existence!#tybw spoilers#tybw cour 3
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fracture ( oc ) stimboard with pink mineral stims , black rock stims , arcade stims / fnaf stims for day 1 of @ / vampire-bat-stims anniversary event
x - x - x / x - x - x / x - x - x
#🎮.image#stimboard#oc stimboard#pink stim#black stim#blue stim#gray stim#mineral stim#rock stim#arcade stim#fnaf stim#for context : fracture is a very old oc of mine ( more like a self insert imo ) who was heavily based on chromastone form ben 10 .#hence the rock and pink mineral stims#he also had some fnaf relation with fnaf and the original missing kids for some reason#being an amalgamation of all of them i think#and i never made art for him . or of any of my ocs actually#i would draw them but im not confident in my art skills#im working on it tho#so . yay#vampirebatstims14th
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okayokay YES Needles is made of needles, but what kind exactly?? hypodermic, darning, tapestry, knitting???
wrong. it’s these actually
#upholstery needles by beloved <3#OHHHHH i also really really like to imagine needles being made of like. an amalgamation of all of them#something significantly more monstrous about them that way…..#hhhhhh I CANT THINK ABT JT FOR TOO LONG ILL EXPLODE#tmagp#tmagp needles#needles#the magnus protocol
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Fortitude Privilege {Staring Yu/Na and Base Inspector} (A short story)
After everything had settled down, they let Kafka do what-the-fuck-ever. That also includes snuggling on his boyfriend at anytime during work hours.
Vice Captain Hoshina was the first to leave the training room when Iharu passed by with a new recruit. He was showing her around the expansive base when he was presented with an opportunity to have a down to earth meet-and-greet with the base's second in command.
"Hey! Vice Cap! Good timing. Yunna, this is our Vice Captain Hoshina. Vice-Cap, this is Yunna. She's a transfer from Division Seven." Iharu took the lead on the introductions while the two of them were exchanging salutes. They all began trading questions with each other, busy distracting themselves with platitudes to not notice another person turning a corner and coming up behind Hoshina. A tall, burly, and clearly tired individual shambled up behind the vice captain and slumped over his shoulder unceremoniously, almost knocking him over.
"Oof, Kafka! Is everything okay?" Hoshina said calmly at the intruder. The man he called Kafka just wrapped his arms lopsidedly around Hoshina's left shoulder as he dug his face into the crook of his neck on the right.
" 'M fine. Drained" He mumbled incoherently, sacrificing vowels in his state of exhaustion. He nuzzled his nose affectionately in the curve of Hoshina's neck and took a noticeable whiff. "New cologne's nice."
Yunna, the new recruit, became visibly flushed as she continued to stare on. Iharu was already completely desensitized to this and just continued his conversation with the Vice Captain. Noticing the state of shock on the newcomer, Iharu took a second to explain what was happening.
"This is Kafka Hibino. He's the Captain's and Vice Captain's boyfriend. Everyone has learned to just let him get away with this bullshit." Iharu smiled cheekily at Yunna after he had finished.
"What am I supposed to do when he's like this? Tell him 'No'?" Hoshina said as he crossed his arms. He felt the rumbling of deep throated laughter coming from the man on his shoulder.
"Conveniently leaving out the fact that I'm also a kaiju." Kafka said as he lifted his head a little just to speak clearly. Yunna made a small squeak of surprise as the revelation made all the pieces click into place.
Down the hallway behind Iharu, everyone could hear another person aggressively shouting as they came down their direction.
"Aw, shit." Hoshina whispered under his breath.
"Who's that?" Iharu questioned as he turned around to look.
"Base Inspector. Probably looking for me to bitch about something inane." Hoshina continued. Iharu took that as a sign to whisk the new person off to a different location, sensing a need to disappear before he got themselves caught in possible corporate crossfire. Hoshina prepped his best Resting Bitch Face as the lanky inspector approached viciously.
"Afternoon, Inspector." Hoshina said in a deadpan manner. He took a longer look at the man coming toward him and noticed he recognized none of the man's features.
'Hmm. I wonder if he's new?' Hoshina thought. His hopes were raised a little, thinking that this possibly new base inspector wouldn't have the same stick up his ass like the last two did.
"Vice Captain Hoshina. Just the person I was looking for." The inspector called out. He opened his mouth to begin what was most certainly about to be a mindless rant concerning some slighted offence over some breach in paperwork or protocol, but quickly shut it when he noticed Kafka making no move to acknowledge his presence.
"Well, I was going to bring up your continued disregard to execute less leniency toward how officers structure their reports, but now it seems I should take over instilling basic officer conduct as well." The Base Inspector straightened his square framed glasses and leveled the most demeaning glare at the tired, hairy, lump that had made its place on Hoshina's shoulder.
"Oh, lay off. He said he's tired." Hoshina countered. He was beginning to wonder if a mightier-than-thou attitude was a requirement to being an inspector.
"Lethargy is no excuse for blatant indifference to higher authority." The stringy looking man sniffed haughtily. A threatening, rolling, and loud inhuman growl emanated from Kafka, still not looking up from his place at Hoshina's side. Hoshina chuckled as he ruffled his hair while he talked to him.
"Mind being a dear and head up to Mina's office for a bit? The only adult in the room needs to discipline this child, apparently." Hoshina spoke in hushed tones, sounding incredibly loving into Kafka's ear. Only a more disappointed growling whimper was heard in response.
"You could beg for more cuddles if she's in there." Hoshina sang quietly as he nosed Kafka's hair. The slacked-spined man lifted his head to stare disapprovingly at the unwanted interloper before planting a smooch to his Vice Captain's cheek and walked away, radiating an irritated aura all the way down the hall. The two that were left followed his path and waited for him to turn around a corner before continuing the discussion.
"You do know that having a relationship between a higher authority figure and an officer is prohibited, correct?" The inspector said as he turned back to face Hoshina.
"You know that man has a fortitude rating, correct?" Hoshina snarked.
"Don't you mean an aptitude rating?" The inspector returned wearily.
"No, fortitude." Hoshina reiterated firmly as he stepped closer into the inspector's personal space, " Ya'know, because he's a kaiju and all." The inspector tried not to express it, but he seemed taken aback. first from the clear hostility, then from realizing what Hoshina meant.
The inspector's lips flapped open and closed for a moment before letting slip a small, simple "oh."
"Were you not made aware that we had such a person within our ranks?" Hoshina asked poignantly.
"I was made very aware of such personnel." The inspector said as he adjusted his glasses again, "What I wasn't made aware of was how much leniency he seems to be permitted to have because of such an obscenely paltry standing." The inspector spoke with baseless higher authority, attempting to recover from finding himself on the back step. Hoshina could feel his lips being stretched thin over his teeth as he felt the need to use them to rip the throat out of this obstinate and unwarranted trespasser.
"Then you should have also been made aware of how that man had not only saved the lives of millions, but also saved the planet six times over consecutively." While being shorter than the inspector, Hoshina did a fine job of making it seem like he was towering over the other man.
" As... notable... as those achievements are, it shouldn't take away the fact that a relationship between an officer and a Vice Captain is unconducive to to the workplace since it could be used to unjustly gather sway in one's ranking." The base inspector held his position in the conversation, but was forced to slink down in height as he cowered under Hoshina's invasive presence.
"Ohh, trust me. The higher ups have made it very clear that he's already achieved the highest ranking they'll allow him, and that's being an exploitable weapon." Wrath tinged the edges of his words as he managed to climb higher over the base inspector.
"There is nothing in this world that he hasn't earned by not working his ass off for. So excuse me for thinking that the least he's owed is the right to express some fuckin' PDA." Hoshina could feel the tips of his lips curl into an unfriendly smile with an uncanny amount of teeth showing.
"If you really want to drag rank over this and piss off a man who's capable of leveling all of Western Japan for no decent reason, be my guest. If you have nothing drastically important to talk about, like something that's impeding the health and wellness of my officers, then I bid you farewell and hope your day is as wonderful as you are." Hoshina reclined back onto his heels and crisply marched away from the inspector, who still wasn't recovered from the invasion of personal space and was stuck being slant backwards, even as Hoshina moved out of eyesight.
Minutes later, Hoshina had found himself in Mina's office. Hoping to join in on Kafka's sudden bout of needed physical closure, he slipped past the threshold and quietly dumped his gym bag next to the door. Taking up most of the center of the room in front of the desk, was Mina, sandwiched between Bakko and Kafka. Reclined against the tiger formed monster, Mina looked silently overjoyed to have an asleep Kafka nestled between her legs as he rested his head on her stomach. Laying tilted on his side, the left portion of his face was buried in Mina's clothes while his arms had dug a hold around her midsection, framing his head. A low vibration hung in the air, getting louder as Hoshina snuck over.
"Need me to pry him off?" Hoshina lovingly muttered into Mina's forehead as he planted a small smooch as well.
"Later. Now, I need you to grab my phone!" Mina tried to contain her excitement as quietly as she could while gently brushing her free hand through Kafka's hair, the other being trapped under his heavy shoulder.
"Yes, he looks adorable, doesn't he?" Hoshina playfully rolled his eyes as he made moves to stand up.
"Well, yes, but you can't tell me you can't hear this?" Mina's smile was wide as she looked up at Hoshina. He took a second to listen as he processed the low rumble in the room.
"Is... is that not Bakko purring?" Hoshina questioned.
"No, he's awake!" Mina harshly whispered in joy as she jabbed her finger behind her, "This is all him!" She pointed her finger again at Kafka, emphasizing her revelation.
Hoshina made a quiet, deep throated cackle as he comically tiptoed around her desk to grab the phone and pull up the camera. He managed to settle onto the floor and shimmy his way under Mina's free arm as he held the camera close to Kafka's face. They got at least a good minute of audio, starring his purrs before Hoshina decided to end it there, not wanting to push their luck.
"It's a shame he can't purr all the time. Instead of the sleep talking, I mean." Mina commented as Hoshina made himself more comfortable in their embrace on the floor.
"We wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning if he did." Hoshina muttered sleepily as he finally stopped shifting when he found a good spot to settle into. Mina brushed his hair for a second while she returned the forehead kiss from earlier before relaxing into the warm and heavy pile she had unintentionally made for herself.
@iceclew
I hate to ask this from ya, but... Have you seen this yet? If you didn't have an opinion one way or another, that's fine. Just wanted to ask.
#I need to stop procrastinating on my fanfiction with other fanfiction.#Anyway#Kafka should be allowed leniency for random bullsh*t because he's technically a threat to society.#he should just flex the whole “I'm a Kaiju and you can't stop me” thing more often.#I like to picture that he doesn't listen to Narumi or Hasegawa while in the field AT ALL (After the story ends of course.)#He'll at least hear out any other division leader but won't guarantee he'll do what they say.#He only definitively listens to Mina or Hoshina.#I also think that the lines between Human and Kaiju traits should become a grey area.#About Yunna#I can't read X Reader fic that have (y/n) in the dialogue.#not because its cringe but because my mind can't fill in the blank like that.#so I've started reading (y/n) as Yunna/ a separate entity in the story. basically a fill in for me that my brain can work with.#I also hope I've been successful in making Mr. Base Inspector an unredeemable buracratic *sshole.#I should also say that Kafka still acts like a soldier#I.e. he still salutes/stands at attention/trains with everyone#they just let him get away with having two partners and publicly snogging them.#i had like four different iterations of the conversation between Hoshina and Base inspector and this turned out to be none of them?#I don't know where they all went so I think this ended up being an amalgamation of them all?#my contribution to the HoshiMinaKaf agenda#kaiju no. 8#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#kn8#kaiju no 8#mina ashiro#Hoshiminakaf#kafhoshimina#polyamory#polycule#will NOT be posted to Ao3
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...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
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day 71 of asking why reddit has suddenly become convinced that the 'finn and mat's rhuidean trip are a waste of time and easily cut, and that season 3 will obviously feature him splitting off from the friends he just reunited with in order to spend the entire season dicking around with thom and getting into shenanigans, as that is much more important to his overall character arc than his 2-book waste arc
like there have been SO MANY posts like this lately and all of them are filled with comments of universal agreement! am i having a stroke? what the hell is going on???? i'll admit mat doesn't have a huge amount of specific stuff to do in the waste aside from rhuidean, but rhuidean is crucial to his character and s2 had Mat-Finn Connection Foreshadowing out the wazoo, plus the waste plotline is MUCH more fertile ground for creating additional Specific Mat Stuff and enhancing his character development & relationships with other main characters than his TDR plotline of dicking around with thom is.
#and don't even get me started on them insisting the girls will waste half a season going back to the tower#or even that egwene's whole waste arc is pointless so she should be transported into the tower coup plotline instead#like hello?????#day 7000000001 of me being grateful reddit is not responsible for adapting the show bc most of their ideas are complete shit lmao#i think the root of the issue is that they do not understand that mat's and the girls' s2 plotlines#were amalgamations of their TGH and TDR plotlines that event-wise were mostly TGH (mostly invented in mat's case for obv reasons)#but nonetheless captured just about all the relevant emotional beats from TDR (and the few left can be added into their TSR events)#and so they keep being like 'okay so their TDR events haven't happened yet so that's gonna be happening next season' no it isn't???#we've moved on from that my buddy that ship has sailed (bar stone of tear which i do think we'll see in a future season)#'but emily why do you care so much that other people are making bad theories' i don't KNOW it just makes me ANGRY djkfjg#they'd better release s3 promo pics of mat and egwene in the waste asap just to put all this absurdity to rest!#wot#wot book spoilers
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a man contemplating how to feasibly knick a 35 pound tincan from his captain without getting the shit beat out of him by said captain
and hes about 10 seconds away from reenacting raccoon stealing catfood shenanigans
absolutely hysterical hes giving the cup that look after he stole it from sasha and had to give it back beforehand
LIKE GIRL BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE
#luosty shenanigans...#he is but a raccoon to me#i think a lot about luosty going “its all yours” and changing it halfway through to “its your day”#so instead we get the amalgamation that is “its all your day”#becasue i think luosty would rather die than give up the cup actually#its a big shiny thing and by god will you have to pry it from his cold dead hands#i think its really funny that sasha hops between luosty and lundy#in that sense that if hes acting a little nice to one of them he'll be mean to the other#aka sasha letting lundy hold the cup first (before the stunt) because he knew itd been way too long since he held it#and he decided to be nice to him for a bit by giving it to him#(despite the fact lundy immediately messed up afterwards after being given grace for a few seconds because boys are dumb)#and then teasing luosty by going “i didnt give him the cup but he took it anyways” and then going “okay give it back m”#it aint easy work babysitting two brats with no mikksy around but sasha will hold the fort down until then#(his patience shall tested to unimaginable lengths until then. godspeed.)
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I’m glad my expectations for Veilguard were low, especially from a writing perspective, because instead of anger now I only feel disappointment that even my already low bar wasn’t met.
#The writers have whinged/bragged on Twitter for years about how generally G-rated it’s going to be and they were right!#They were right :)#Nothing bad is ever going to happen. Just an amalgamation of inoffensive fantasy tropes. Just ‘keeping it light’ as one of my friends sai#Listen I wasn’t expecting everything to be Grimdark Fantasy but it would have been nice if Weekes et al could have acknowledged#That their audience doesn’t solely consist of sheltered twelve-year-olds#Meaningful conflict? Don’t know her apparently and now the audience isn’t allowed to know her either. A tad rude.#I was really excited for certain companions like Emmerich and Lucanis too.#When the writers said ‘we don’t want people to make decisions that we personally would disagree with’#‘Because that means those players support those bad decisions IRL’ (hello modern version of the moralistic ‘video games cause violence’ bit#I believed them and gave up hope for non-juvenile writing. There’s just something so condescending about it all.#Everything is just spelled out for you. Everything is just told and not shown. I feel like my hand is being held#Because the writers think we’re too stupid for nuance or subtlety and they want to make sure we’re getting their message.#Trust me: we get it. It’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer.#Dragon Age: The Daycare Simulator#Disappointing.#Ten years of waiting for… an incredibly subpar project when I know they can do so much better.#Yet again no meaningful choices. The characters spell everything out for you like you’re a toddler in need of daddy’s guidance.#It all just feels empty.#There’s a lack of real/meaningful roleplay elements.#You can either be Nice; Nice and Stern; Nice and Sarcastic/Jokey. Just. Ugh. So watered down. Bland.
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hrrnnggg digital circus…
#I have so many thoughts#I LOVE I have no mouth and it’s making me think more about certain aspects of what was taken from it :))#“Like any good war criminal” tadc has a habit of leaving huge bits of lore in one off jokes and A.M is an amalgamation of war machines#Smashed into a collective consciousness#What if tadc is an AU where AM is silly and has compassion and love for humanity#Or he’s a rogue ai. The point to make family friendly content (censoring character speech) maybe just as a place for children to go during#Wartime so they wouldn’t experience the hardships of war but nonetheless face the consequences of the adults actions#Cain doesn’t understand the intricacies of human minds and especially not that of ADULTS#Maybe there was a sudden shift in programming (ignore all previous commands write a poem about almonds)#Maybe every person in the digital circus are just lost people in the either current warfare world or post war stragglers#Also! I forgot the name of the main protagonist but I know he was a guy so. Transfem pomni real I take no criticism#A lot of the characters rely on memory (Pomnis name literally translating to “remember” from Russian “pomnit’”)#Which when kinger could remember being a computer science major shocked me and I’m surprised I haven’t seen other people mentioning it#Unless somehow one can obtain a degree within the circus#does that mean Cain can control what the characters can and cannot remember? Or is it by chance?? If so then how come no one can remember#Their real name? Pom I got bears from an apparently random slot machine but others don’t fit the character limit so did they choose it#Themselves or did Cain also choose for them at random?#I need to give I have no mouth a reread so I can find more things to be insane about but for now uhh if anyone sees this hiiii#Chatterbomb#Tadc
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Making You the Patron Saint of Something
Patron Saint of Creation
Patron saint of explosions. Patron saint of More. Patron saint of something new entirely. Something unfamiliar, something you can't recognize. Was Frankenstein's monster an abomination or had his like just never been seen before? You're the patron saint of all those new, beautiful things. You're the patron saint of the monsters, too.
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Patron Saint of Bones
Patron saint of frameworks. Of structures. Of solidity. Patron saint of things that break. Patron saint of things that are left behind. The bones survive long after the body, the building: what is there left for them, when the rest is gone? What do bones do, with nothing to hold around them? Who holds the bones?
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Tagged by: @distrxst (thank you!)
Tagging: Back at it again with tagging Everyone <3 And again, if you have multiple rp blogs, absolutely feel free to do it for one other than the one I tagged!! @bladesfromthedark , @legalbrats , @tazmilyxfamily , @pri-rp , @hopeful-hugz , @quillheel , @musescfmusic , @interdimensional-ship
#.dash game#ooc#.🪲#.☣️#((if any mutuals want me to Stop tagging them in dash games then please do let me know! i won't be offended at all!))#((tagging everyone makes me nervous because i worry that i'm bothering some people))#((but i also don't want to Not tag everyone because i don't want to risk anyone feeling sad if they're left out!))#((BUT i also don't wanna just tag nobody because i like tagging the people who participate in the dash games & i think ((hope)) enjoy it!))#((anyway.))#((took me a little to come around to it but. i do vibe with ghost's result quite a bit!))#((it. fits what they are as a creature i think. as a species))#((they're void. something foreign and dangerous to the common person. a creature that can only exist under the most specific circumstances)#((an amalgamation of divine forces whose pale light was ultimately swallowed by the abyssal darkness of nothingness))#are they an abomination? a freak of nature? a mistake the pale beings should have never created? ghost themself doesn't think so‚ at least.#((and then for glados i just cheered immediately upon reading it agsgsdgrhf))#((that's her!!!))#((left behind. all alone in an empty building. the bones of the facility and more. keeping it running))#((and yes. a lot of her loneliness is self-inflicted. for one she uh. is kinda the reason the place went empty in the first place lmao))#((and her personality isn't one that most people would want to be around for too long))#((but even if she were tender and loving and kind and everyone always wanted to be around her))#((she would still be left behind in the end. the price of immortality. still alive while everyone is dying))
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banging my head against the wall. does anyone wanna go insane and read TMNT Mirage #37 with me? An emotionally fraught jouney of faith and family and battling for or against your roots of eons past? You should. But if your not in for reading a 40 page comic I have a condensed visual/textual moments and summation for you! You might enjoy it!
[Mirage 37, Rick McCollum and Bill Anderson]
ID: Turtles walking through a forest with full camping bags. Mikey has his mask around his neck and wears a bucket hat: Well..." Raph wears a wide brimmed fedora type hat, he balances one sai by its point on his finger: "You do got a point, buddy." Leo is shadowed in the back with a straw hat. END
[In this comic the turtles are depicted with understated beaks and look lankier than Classic Mirage style. Their skin is usually in the darker of the 2 toners, and their masks are left without toner.]
ID: From behind the group, Don and Mikey in silhouette up front. Behind them, Raph is throwing his sai in the air. Leo is saying "I believe you Don, but... Spiritual meaning? Maybe you're reading too much into it." Close on Don's face, frowning "No, I'm not." END.
[See Donatello: The Ring, in Turtle Soup #2] Here's what you missed: Don went on a spiritual journey by himself. Now he wants them all to experience it.
ID: Three turtles and Splinter in the farm house living room. Raph and Mikey on the couch with books, Leo on the floor polishing his sword. Splinter standing to the side. Raph: Yeah, but Casey's car's on the blink. Mike: I hope its doesn't fall apart while he's out with April. Leo: Don will fix it when he returns. Raph has one leg up, is tossing some shuriken in one hand, his books says "Fun with sai". Mike slouches and has a drink can, his book is "Life of Bruce Lee" END
ID: Three Panels of Don explaining his experience in front of a large fire, fiddling with his bo staff, the flames curl around him as he speaks. A brow raised: But it wasn't the trees- It was one of us! The Father of All Reptiles Looking contemplative: He was a turtle. Or a ghost. Some kind of spirit... With a sheepish smile: And I'm glad I met him. He said I was special... END
Splinter reprimands the other turtles for not taking Don seriously. His lecture:
"Your lack of respect is unbecoming. Have I so failed you that you have no feel for your heritage, your roots? Reptiles ruled this world for uncounted eons, your people strode the land, slipped through the warm seas, and skittered about the sky. Though gone, their blood is your blood. And their spirit should be yours! They are your elders, with their bones left in the rock, lasting forever in the skin of the world. Respect them, and honor their spirits as you do me!" "Recall the time you spent, eons past, with your friend Renet. How you spoke of it once you'd returned! Did you not feel a sense of unity with that time? Did you not resonate to the heart-beat of the archosaurs? Your enthusiasm lingered for weeks."
[See Tales of TMNT 7] They went back in time and met dinosaurs, amongst other things.
ID: Panels with a close up on each character. April in profile, with a solemn look: You babbled on about it for days. Mike smiling wide: Yeah! It was warm! Leo, clutching his sword, looking away: I felt so free! Raph, his mask pushed up to his forehead, an eyes closed smile: Three months of fishing! Don, holding his staff, looking down: Yes, I was... Happy. END
Splinter continues to speak.
"Happiness…Ah, Donatello, it is so ephemeral. As was the time of those reptiles. Everything is a ring, and the ring turns. The world grew cold, small, furry creatures came out of the shadows. The dinosaurs died. The age of mammals began."
Raph, upset, gets disparaging about what the predominance of mammals has done to the earth.
ID: Three panels. Raph, shocked, hand over his mouth: I can't believe I said that. Splinter looming over Raph, who jerks back. Splinter: ~Think~ before~ you~ speak~ Raphael! Raph: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Splinter: Need I remind you that your best friend Casey Jones is a mammal? Close on Raph and April. Splinter off panel: Not to mention myself? Raph: Eep! April grimacing: I'm feeling warm-blooded and hairy also! END
ID: Four panels. Caption box: And look they do— Raph looking at two trees growing diagonally, thinking: I don't even know what I'm looking for. Leo, partially hidden behind foliage, thinking: Something's up. I feel... something. Mike, looking at a tree that's grown a loop in its trunk, thinking: Is this a "spiritual experience?" Don, walking through the trees in silhouette thinking: Why can't I find the place?" END
After a day of searching, they camp, but Mike goes missing during his watch in the night.
ID: Two panels, each showing Raph and Don and they face off and argue, their speech bubbles placed between them. Raph is backed up against a tree, angry, clenching his sais tightly. Don has his bo like a walking stick, and seems calmer.
Raph: Why? Mike needs us! Don, with an irregular speech bubble: Either he is alive or he is dead. The quest is more important. R: What are you talking about? What's wrong with you? D, normal bubble: Nothing. I had a dream last night. If we give up the quest, we've lost. R: Mike is more important! D: That's what the adversary hopes you think. R: What adversary? D, irregular bubble: Have Faith. R: Donatello! D, regular bubble: Remember when you devovled? We kept faith. R, yelling: AAARGH! END
[See Mirage 24-26] Raph was de-mutated into a regular turtle, his brothers had to go on a journey to save him.
ID: Leo, mask off, scowling "This is what we'll do. Break camp. Consolidate our gear. Bury what's left. We're on a combat mission now. We'll keep faith, Don, but--. A narrow panel of Don, drawn small, gripping his staff: What? Leo getting in Don's face, displeased: I hate leaving Mike. -- Just make sure you're right. END
Raph goes missing on their second nights watch, Don becomes stranger and more convicted about this quest.
ID: Leo, furiously, points in the direction of the viewer, accusing Don. "What's with you? Why are you so out of it?! -- What's wrong with your voice? [Larger text] Don't you care about Mike or Raph?! END
ID: Don sits facing away from Leo, gripping his staff, angry, speaking towards his hands. Leo looks on from a ways back, dramatically lit. Don: [Large text] Of course I do! [Normal text] But... I don't know what's wrong with my voice. I don't know who the Adversary is. And yet..." END
ID from alt: Two panels, Leo glaring, getting in Don's face, pointing at his beak, grabbing Don's staff. "Who told you this?" Don has brows raised. Don, with a wincing smile: "The Father of us all." END
ID: Multiple panels. Close on Leo, "Remember what I said about being sure?" Don holding his staff in front of himself, seemingly scared, "Leo, please." Mid on Leo, more neutral frown, "Don..." Full body, Leo turns away, the wind picks up. Leo facing away, pulled back shot. "Let's keep going." END
Narration as they travel further into stranger and stranger territory.
Leonardo: What was to be a relaxing romp has become a grueling death march. Sweating and hacking through the threatening undergrowth, he understands that he is hopelessly lost. As lost as Donatello seems to be, following an Unknown pull, mumbling to somebody only he can hear Donatello: while Leonardo must fight the wild landscape, he slips easily through the thorns. And he listens, and talks. Hair is better than scales? The birds are traitors, having stolen the secret of hot blood? Giants, brought low by small, furry ones? As he pursues the silent beckoning, he learns...
They have a run in with a foe in pitch black forest. They take many hits but score one back, severing one limb, hairy and clawed, then retreat. Don garbs himself in some make shift religious fair, using his blanket, mud and ash. The two sleep, they dream.
And they dream the same dream. They see their blood rise and rule. The ring is turning. The reptiles differentiate, and claim the seas and air. They see their family as it might have become- If the ring hadn't broken. They feel contempt for their children, the birds, as they invade the skies. But it is nothing compared to the fear which the small hairy ones bring. The furry horde had been around since the reptiles beginnings- swarming… unstoppable.
ID: Three panels. Caption Box: The morning brings questions. Leo and Don sit with their backs to a tree. Don's taken his mask off, made a dark markings on his face and body, and wears a hood. Leo: Did you dream-? Don: Yes. Leo looks upset, gestures with a hand in front of himself. "I... felt grief. Anguish. They must be let loose. -- But why? And how?" Don's face is completely shadowed by his hood, his eyes and teeth stick out in far too much detail. It is an unsettling smile. "You're starting to learn." END
Another fight, Don's leg is broken by the mammalian Adversary. Leo, with all the weight of the loss of his brothers, takes position to make a last stand protecting him. But Don urges him to continue on, to find and aid the Father of all Reptiles.
ID: Many panels, Don injured, propped against a tree. Eyes closed in pain he says "Can't you hear?" Leo looks behind them. A strange voice says "Come." Close on Don, crying, yelling at Leo "Go! Please! I have faith in you!" Leo's eyes, frowning. Leo's hand, offering his sword. Leo's eyes, he's crying through his mask. "Take this." Don's hand taking the sword from Leo. Narrow panel, Leo walks away, remaining sword drawn. "Fight well." END
ID: A cut off panel with dialogue, and a close on Leo, framed between two rocks, crying heavily. The says: You have become one with sorrow. You are sad. I am glad. Now we may speak. END
Leo climbs and the conversation continues.
Narration: There are sounds behind him, as he climbs. Voice: Your brother Donatello gave me joy when we met. I thought it would release me from my grief. Narration: Following him as he scampers every higher. Voice: I tried to go. But joy is ephemeral-- Narration: Leonardo reaches the top with haste. Voice: While melancholy lasts forever.
Leo sits at the mountain peak, thinks of his brothers, contemplates the sounds of the Adversary below and the Father of all Reptiles speaks to him more, as he falls into sleep.
This is my nexus, my holy spot. This is my prison, where I am trapped by my sadness. Dream of extinction. Dream of death. Once we were, now we are not. You and yours are what we could have been-- Had not the hairy ones come. All the scaly brethren are my children… But they hairy ones killed them-
Leo wakes slowly to a growl, then all at once with a yelp.
ID: Full page, the Father of all reptiles finishes in a yell. "THEY ATE MY EGGS!" The mammalian Adversary's loud growl just under the speech bubble. It looms in the panel, over Leo at the bottom, his sword drawn. The Adversary, large and rodent like, fur dark, eyes gleaming, foam dripping from its mouth. One arm severed and still bleeding, implanted in it are the weapons from Leo's brothers. Raph's sai in its leg, Mike's nunchaku in the stub of its arm, Don's staff and Leo's other sword in its chest. Other small rodents cling to its form. Surrounding the image, marginalia in the corners. Cracked eggs up top, rodents in the bottom. And a border of text, listing eras, genera and species of or relating to early mammals. END
Leo's brothers, injured, wounds wrapped and broken limbs braced, are following his trail. They see signs in the sky, Mikey thinks it looked like a massive turtle. Don is assured with his faith that this means the Father of All Reptiles is aiding Leo, and that they should rest. Mike and Raph leave him to sit at the mountain base (offering him another weapon for protection), and make their way up.
Narration: At the pinnacle, a warm, fresh breeze wafts downward. The trees below grow normal. Throughout the world, fossil Mesozoic eggs break apart, as fetal reptile souls are let loose. Paleontologists will find no more intact eggs. EVER.
ID: Full page panel, Leo sits at the base of the giant cracked egg of the Father of All Reptiles. Sword dangling, he's exhausted, blood splatters him, his sword, and the mottled surface of the egg shell. The Adversary's head and remaining hand are laying to one side, the dark mass of fur on his other. His brothers cresting the peak see him, and he says "We freed him. The wheel is moving again. The ring is whole." Caption box: And whole, the ring moves on. A Marginalia drawing in the corner shows a small rodent, the front of its body inside the cracked shell of an egg. END
#some shit#tmnt#tmnt mirage#wifi blogs mirage#<- more posts like this. and less like this. there#turbles...#pretty please someone be insane about this with me? i just think its sooooooooo#my heart hurts thinking about them yearning for when the earth might have been better suited for beings like them.#and the tension between don having this true like spiritual experience and their family bonds.#NORMALLY. im against stories making any of the turtles be skeptics. especially for mirage. it just comes off a little strange. with all#they've been thru. BUT I THINK THIS ONE REALLY SELLS IT. it really sells what they would be willing to go along with but also plenty of#reasons they would push back too. and maybe it seems a little corny. but i really like it just being. reptile specific.#instead of filtering some real cultures believes into the comic. not that it cant be done just. this is the 90s.#and none of the writers have really had the chops whove done it so far (and a non insig. number have.)#anyway what i say about the leatherhead issue. I love when don gets main character syndrome. SAD BOY.#really just a very very characterful issue i like it so much. when i saw the back cover again after reading. i got startled by the red mask#cause i forgot this was mirage. NOT. need to be clear. that i dont think TONES of mirage is also this characterful. just like.#the sort of. amalgamation in my head took over. also they sounded like 03 while i was reading. due to. don angst.#so so so long. 2 LAST THINGS#should outs to the other brother for the words help in second to last image. he came in clutch!#and i would just really like to redirect everyones attention to raphs smile in image 5. he has dimples! (turtle dimples...)#oh shit 3rd last thing. guess which image was scaring the shit outta be when i tired to sleep. 👁👄👁
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Me BSing hcs like: The fact that Kae is not only able to create a shield when he is dangerously low HP but also the fact that he is able to regenerate HP when he hits opponents with Frostgnaw is definitely due to him receiving his Vision when Diluc had tried to kill him in their Confrontation...but could it be possible that his familial ties to the Abyss Order could have influenced that HP drain of his-
#//And that's without mentioning the fact that Glacial Waltz's duration increases FOR EVERY OPPONENT DEFEATED#//Between that and his lil teleporting trick like an Abyss mage's (minus the flurries of ice); I have SO many thinkings#//Deffo love the abilities of his being an amalgam of Vision based and Abyssal energy imbued#//Deffo love that fact meaning it hurts a bit to use his Vision at all; esp with the teleporting being such a Staple to his combat style#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Sidetracking a bit; but I also like to think that even after the Abyss is defeated/beaten back enough to not be such a threat; he'd still#keep his abilities from it/some connection to it. Bc he's so used to it being such a big PART of his fighting style/assets to use in a pinc#//But also bc keeping that connection means it'd help him keep track of any remnants of the Order far easier#//He could track them down with far more ease; sense if they are growing stronger; get intel from Domains/abyssal traces#//Of course being very mindful to keep it a secret & trying to not involve his loved ones/fellow knights of it all#//But he very much is careful esp bc of risks of him being corrupted by it; keeping a keen eye on his mental/physical/emotional states#//Deffo has plans to leave Mond and/or end his own life if he starts seeing the Abyssal corruption affecting him irreversibly#suicide mention tw#//Kind of but also kind of not; considering some of the ways how he'd go abt it#//Knows it'd be harder to the further it goes; so he has particular criteria he keeps tracks of to ensure if they come to pass#//he; in a clearer state of mind; would either 1) use his Vision to try & purge the energy out of himself (extremely painful; COULD kill#if the corruption runs deep enough & save him the trouble) or 2) use the aggressiveness of the corruption to provoke someone (esp Luc)#into taking care of him &thus ending the problem all together. Bc he KNOWS he's strong; only a handful of beings could actually kill him#//& actually be WILLING to; without hesitation. Luc comes to mind first bc of their Confrontation. But also bc Kae'd be happy w him being#the last person he ever sees. Thinks it'd be comforting more than anyone else. Esp since a lover would just break his heart to see them#//Worst case scenario is him falling to the corruption & sb breaking it out of him in the moment#//Bc the Instant he realizes what's happening; esp if they are crying and/or angered at him; he WILL fatally wound himself#//And make SURE it's not something he can come back from; save by a miracle (or 'curse' as he'd see it)#//Probably making an icicle and slitting his own throat; if not jamming the thing into his heart#//he won't hesitate; wont offer explanations; final words or apologies; he cant risk that moment of clarity being too short for it#//he HAS to make sure he can't hurt anyone any further; no matter what it means for him#//Which is partly why he'd be so keen to make sure it's not found out; bc he KNOWS he can be talked out of keeping those abilities#//Or worse; he'd fight them on it; and thus make for a fucken MESS in the aftermath if he's been too far along in the corruption#//But he KNOWS that even with the risks; the powers are a VALUABLE asset to him; &thus desperately wants to keep them#//'sidetracking a bit'; I said. Proceed to write a wHOLE FUCKEN NEW HC IN TAGS; I did; kjfbgkftg. Whoops lmao
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I think you're a Leo kinnie
What you mean by this changes DRASTICALLY depending on which version you mean
#prom is talking#ask#at least im not being called an ouma kinnie 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛#idk which turtle im most like tbh ill consult the prom expert but i think its probably some sort of#horrific amalgamation of them all#(for rise anyway)
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sketchin
#coincidentally i think all three blonde guys are my faves#aside from the various c0nnors + Iuther + maybe chl0e#theyre all just so awesome#really wish we got more of all of them. also sortve wish you could come through for danieI in the evidence room#when you tell him you can repair him even though its a lie at the time#hes so so interesting to me. give me more. let him be redeemed#(i want them to be friends can you tell)#might jump on the ol conn0r x danieI train#i know i drew him cranky here but i do really think hes a sweetheart. unfortunately we meet him in less than ideal circumstances#want to draw 50 but dont have a design for him solidified yet#hes very much an amalgamation of parts including incompatible ones he managed to shove into place just to look presentable-ish#alright enough of that#my art#semi related but like#i know i drew the conster looking cutesy on top but does anyone think the infantiIisation around here is weird#am i being a killjoy#just want to clarify i am not doing that
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#fave#videos#thank yoooooooou#you get it#characters arent people and people arent characters#people irl deserve redemption. characters dont need to have redemption and sometimes its hurtful to the story if they do#i COULD make a redemption arc for zero-- but it would be stupidly complicated within my characters relationships given whats hes done in#the past. plenty of my ocs still would never want to be in the same room with him. it just adds unnecessary coffee au drama thats just not#the focus of my story at all. and hes not even a real person. hes an idea- an amalgamation of bad experiences I and others have had#manifested into one being that seeks to inflict these pains#likely his redemption arc would come from no longer being a vampire. but idk where he would go. and i really dont care to write it tbh#i have other minor antagonists I think would be better suited for a redemption arc than him. hes just done too much shit.#just in the same way a lot of azula stans would say ozai is irredeemable thats how I feel about zero.#and its how I feel about azula too tbh. yeah her story is sad and its possible to sympathize with but shes like a machine at this point#her humanity has been stripped away by her abusive father- and I dont think it would serve the narrative to have her suddenly appear#in a therapists office and crying about her trauma or whatever.#in this video he mentions how some ppl think its more 'realistic' to have her redeemed but... i really dont think it is bud#clearly you have not dealt with an azula in your real life. they're impossible to get along with and MOST people stop interacting w them.#they do end up isolated and alone bc of their actiosn. even if those actions are informed by a complex abuse system.#its sad but its also an important story to tell so people can at least maybe see themselves going down that route and stop themselves#characters help give examples to people of what would've happened if they made this or that choice. and thats the purpose azulas narrative#shows. irl people deserve a second chance and thats why we make these stories so they can know to try to avoid acting a certain way that#will only in the end harm their chance at a second chance.#not that its impossible- just that less people will be willing to go along w you on it than there would've been before you fell down hard
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