#being an alien makes so much sense
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shadow work is kicking my ass 😭
I've realised that I don't appreciate people helping me at all...like I ain't ask for it so don't do it. I don't care if you were raised like this but when it comes from yt men, it's even worse. Like, bro who said I needed help, who hinted that. Nobody so don't
and pleath, don't you dare tell me your upbringing consisted of being courteous to women a priority like I don't know about you but my parents if there's one thing they made crystal clear is for me not to feel like a woman because I don't fit their criteria of what being a woman stands for so at this rate you're most certainly talking not to my blackass
Went to see a marabout earlier this year because My mother thought something was wrong with me( my lack of wanting to do anything that included being active- I tend to abuse a bit too much of sloth mode I dare say). This man read me to filth, I couldn't even be like I don't believe this shit because he really decided to pull out the card of the first man I ever fell in love with and he said I know his name start with x letter and he got a daughter. At that moment I was like, ma I love you but this is too much.
my ma was right about something being wrong with me. Apparently, I have people plotting against me just because I exist. That's insane and I won't go on any further but funny these people that wanna witness my downfall don't even have my number or know me but following their logic have a problem with me. honestly, your life must be hard man 👀. They do clown shit all day, be fake imitating plastic and wonder why shit doesn't go their way suspicious right!
He said a lot of things which rang true back then and still do make sense now. When he questioned me about my profound distaste for men, I couldn't formulate a proper answer on the spot and told him I don't know.
After a tedious amount of shadow work which has led me to where I currently stand today results from past events that really shaped how I never ever ever desire to rely on anyone not even a man. It all stems from the trauma I have developped concerning man dates back to that one fateful morning where a black woman in my town got shot before going to work because her former significant other couldn't envisage the following which was they were no longer together imma do me and you do you( yes, her former significant other was black and I knew her kids, it was devastating to enter your teenage years like that. I don't wish it to anyone)
so yeah, I'm not tryna become a statistic at any given time of my life nor die by the hands of a man 'cause nope, that ain't happening not on my watch. I am divinely protected period. Me and death we're bestfriends( if you have a scorpio rising you know what I'm talking about 🥲 cannot rest period what is even that?)
so yeah anytime a man comes into I'm like hell naw find you somebody else I can't do that, I'm doing hot girl shit which stands for questioning your purpose on this planet 24/7. I suck at multitasking and have a terrible memory unless you crossed cause I won't forget that. Ever
also being blessed with a scorpio Lilith doesn't make things better. I quite literally had men tell me they want me as their side piece in front of their girl. Are you mad? are u sick? are you insane? are you ill? have you gone bonkers? those questions race through my mind as well as sure, I'll do that when you die so please hurry up, I gotta slay at your funeral
#i've mastered being casper the ghost#like seriously second nature it's no longer a skill I fear#ventpost#I'll try things one step at a time#daddy saturn stop playing me for real like give a break I'm knackered from work already#not tryna do no extra shift#I'm joking but I'm not#being an alien makes so much sense#you ever just look at people after they ask you for some crazy shit and you're like uhm...nope not today not tomfoolery participation today
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Gotta love when folks write Superman incredibly anti-clone even though he had good reason in the beginning to Not Like Superboy (HES A WINDOW INTO WHAT CLARK WOULD HAVE BEEN WITHOUT THE KENTS) and decide that forever on he’ll be spiteful towards clones even though he literally Does Not Care if you’re a clone unless you’re Superboy.
#IF YOU LIKE THIS CHARACTERIZATION IGNORE ME BUT I GOTTA VENT#bones speaks#bones writes in the tags#sometimes I wanna bash my head into a wall. SUPERMAN IS INHERENTLY A GOOD PERSON IN EVERY WAY KON EL IS JUST A TERRIFYING REALIZATION-#OF WHAT HE’D BE WITHOUT A LOVING CARING AND NURTURING FAMILY! HE DIDNT LIKE KON BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED)#RAGGGGHHHHH#for the love of god I know it’s an easy way for Danny to hate Superman (SUPERMAN ISNT THE BAD GUY YALL PLEASE) but there can be so much more#have him awkwardly go up to Danny and ask him how he handled having a clone and try to use that info to get along with Kon!#he works with countless clones in the Justice League and I don’t see y’all writing him hating them. make it make sense#just- please. you don’t have to read a comic to know that Superman is meant to be The Best Of Humanity. just write with that baseline#I’m just sad folks are being so gosh darn mean to Supes. he’s a delightful character to read and my favorite big superhero#and a lot of folks in dpxdc do the anti clone stuff and that’s Clark’s entire personality for the comic.#you don’t think he’d be sympathetic because Danny was given immense duty and power and is only a few of his kind? or having an evil self in#another dimension that showed him the destruction he could bring?#Clark is a smartass. he is a seeker of the truth. he is a reporter (and a damn good one too). he is a loving husband. he is an alien.#he is a hero. he is a god. he is a caring friend. he is a genuinely kind and good being.#I recommend reading All Star Superman. Under The Yellow Sun by Clark Kent. and Superman:Grounded
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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When Fitz actually engages with her kids she's not a TERRIBLE parent. It's just that her biggest parenting flaw is neglect and she never ended up correcting that.
#like the whole thing with hap. she draws from her own experiences#and works out a balanced way to approach it where she can guide him to the best outcome without alienating him from her#by being too judgemental#similarly in the very few interactions we get with fitz and nettle she is clearly trying hard to meet nettle where shes at#and respects and gives weight to the reasons nettle resents her#(tho i think she ended up being TOO distant from nettle in this process in an effort to be careful which is again. the neglect.)#and when she makes honest tries with bee they generally go well with her leveling with bee and trying to accommodate what she needs#tho also with bee she ends up. treating her a bit too much like an equal which is the other aspect of fitz terrible parenting:#which is parentification#not wholly in a traditional sense but oh boy. it's definitely there#you could write many an essay on fitz as a parent#i fear the tags have gone in an opposite direction as the original post but i dont feel like retyping this all into it's own post so...#if u want to read my thoughts u have to read this stupid tag paragraph. sowwy#rote
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hear me out for genshin x bsd-
atsushi would be a cryo claymore that scales off atk (since the tiger is shown as extremely powerful and can even cut through space) and optimizes physical dmg
dazai would be a geo sword support that increases elemental res, acting as a debuffer (as no longer human works in the bsd universe) he would also scale off em
kunikida would also be geo but catalyst that deals physical aoe dmg.. he'd be an in-slot dps but not an optimal one imao his talents are much better suited to make him a battery unit
akutagawa would be pyro polearm?? or sword?? and he's obviously a heavy dps that scales off crit rate/dmg and tenma tengai could be similar to cyno's burst when, once activated, increases def while simultaneously raising rashomon's atk
chuuya would be an anemo catalyst dps similar to wanderer bc of his gravity manipulation and he would have a melee stance where he atks from the ground and an elevated state where he uses gravity manipulation to be able to atk off-ground. his ult would be corruption obviously and would parallel xiao's where his atk and crit rate/dmg are sharply increased but he undergoes continuous dmg until the duration of his burst ends (in this state he is vulnerable as his def is lowered and he isn't able to accumulate energy meaning he needs a team built around him, preferably with a healer and a shielder)
how does it feel to be the sexiest person on this site w absolutely the most correct and banger takes anon??.. why are u correct on literally everything
#DAZAI BEING GEO IS A SMART MOVE I LIKE THAT. i would've seen him as cryo (bc nlh is blue and also bc cryo is the element of contradiction)#(much like how dazai lashes out against his inherently selfish nature to help atsushi)#(and how he does not see himself as human and feels alienated from human society bc of it yet he is written to be the most relatable-#-character in the show?? or at least i think so)#BUT GEO MAKES SENSE.. GEO REPRESENTS DETERMINATION AND PERSEVERANCE#GEO VISION HOLDERS HAVE MINDS OF STONE AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS#WHILE THIS CAN BE SEEN AS A NOBLE AND DILIGENT TRAIT.. DAZAIS MORALLY GRAY CHARACTERIZATION PUTS A WHOLE NEW TWIST ON WHAT THIS ENTAILS#HE IS MACHIAVELLIAN INTRINSICALLY. ITS WHO HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN. HE BELIEVES THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS#AND WHETHER HE ACHIEVES THAT THROUGH MANIPULATION OR THROWING AWAY HIS OWN HUMANITY.. HE WILL DO IT IF IT SEES HIS PLAN THROUGH#also kunikida would be dendro imao bc of his adherence and passion for his ideals#which parallels dendro users highly valuing and pursuing knowledge above all#anyway sry for rambling in the tags again those are just my thoughts feel free to disagree <33#lotus’s asks
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re: s5 episodes 6 and 7
going into watching the x files, one of the very few things i knew about, because i had consulted my best friend wikipedia, was the emily plotline. i knew it was coming, so in a way it felt inevitable, and my reaction to finally reaching it was approached from the in-universe knowledge that this was how it would be from the start.
but now that i read the notes on my liveblog post, i think about how i would have interpreted the episode if i had not known that fact, or had i been a contemporary viewer. i think i would have also felt frustrated that they decided to give the female lead a baby over two episodes and then kill her off and act like nothing happened. i think i would be frustrated with that, especially when i have other, existing complaints about the way women are treated in this show. how once again the plotline, from its very core, revolves around removal of scully's reproductive agency. and i think that rings even more true nowadays.
it's interesting to imagine my reaction had i not known it was coming. because the foreshadowing was there, what with the abduction plotline and the clones and the earlier babies in tubes and hybridizations and blah blah blah. but i guess i would have thought (or hoped) it was handled in a different fashion.
we'll never really know what my first thoughts would have been had i not known what was eventually going to happen, but hearing your thoughts from seeing it is making me ponder.
#i will not pretend to understand the emotions a parent feels towards their child#in fact i frankly cannot comprehend them#so keep that in mind when we take this with a doylist rather than a watsonian view#but there is this weird sticky feeling from it being her the child belongs to and her the narrative is about children from#i mean it would make so much more sense from a plot perspective for it to be mulder who has the bastard alien baby#think of how desperately that man craves a family and how aliens have already ruined what he had#just thematically it makes more logical sense#but scully is the woman and the woman has the baby. for all women want baby and this is law /s#my feelings on the matter are complex. in no way do i think it “compromises” her character to have a child and love her#i just wonder if the writers in the room were also thinking that way or were thinking very black and white#yes. woman = want baby. make storyline about baby. and lack thereof. for 5 seasons.#i could probably word this better at some point but i have been thinking about it a lot since then#and want to continue to hear your thoughts!#the x files#txf
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guys the green patch is back.
this probably means the Anakt students recently got back from a break, since his experimentation wounds haven't healed yet
#SORRY TO MAKE THIS SAD BUT I WAS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS GREEN PATCHES#till being indecisive even on little things makes so much sense#(smth smth he cant decide on his opinions about ivan)#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#till alien stage
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If I had a nickel for every time I saw a post where someone is comparing Invincible to Steven Universe I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
#invincible#diseasy speaky#that being said i fucjinf hate the comparison because it does not make sense#the only two similarities in the shows is half alien baby is traumatized by absentish alien parent whomp whomp#this is coming from someone whos watched steven universe too#theres like twelve different shows and comics or movies rhat have that same plot.#steven universe isnt the only show to have that plot nor is it the only show to do it well. plenty of other medias have done it waay before.#saw a post where it summed it up as “both shows defeat the villain with the power of love but invicible has swears”#i saw red#because thats just wrong.#invicible is not a show that solves problems with just love you absolute fool. arguably steven universe isnt a show that does that either.#they deal with complex problems in complex ways#dear god have i gone senile?? no!#sometimes people have funny takes... other times.. guh not so much.
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VUXisms (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol#I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything#Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with#Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;;#But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me!#He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits!#I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol#I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha ♪#Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3#The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol#Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense!#And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket ♪#Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol#Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3#But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him#Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee#Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe ♫#And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D#Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha#Not quite the same but something!#Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c#Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe ♪
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somebody shoot me with a gun until I am dead before I write the first chapter of that pirate thing for like. Genuinely the eighth or ninth time.
#i have versions i like the vibes of#i have versions i like the pacing of#i have versions i like the writing of#i have not a single one that manages to hit even 2 out of those 3 criteria#Like. I think part of the issue is the setting is dreamy its soft and floaty and things arnt Right#but the first thing that happens is a guy loudly boasting about how much hes going to enjoy sexually assaulting his deuteragonist#hes lying. but Toi'uhla doesn't know that. The people ze is choosing to sacrifice zerself for dont know that.#the child whos experiencing the fear of death for the first time doesn't know hes bluffing either.#and the entire time theyre on a boat thats floating in empty nothing in a universe that has no stars left.#So much of making a tangible Threat like that hit is slowing for a moment and describing the ugly details of like#existing. as a physical person in a physical world. This horrible thing is happening and while it does the wind is messing up your hair#That sort of thing.#But there is no wind. there is no water. or rain. Toi'uhla's sense of smell is almost non existent. so ze cant think about the body oder#of that many people in that close of quarters.#And all while this is happening. i have to set up that these are two alien species with distinct cultures and Very different perspectives#on what is happening. Lordakai Senior is the one who lead the raid that killed Toi'uhla's sire and zer siblings.#But ze only knows the name Lordakai. bc for Zer it is completely reasonable to assume that the two Lordakai's are the same guy#Koita are long lived. Toi'uhla has never had reason to learn how to tell how old they are#Lordakai jr is absolutely riding on his dads name. but he doesn't know his dad was a privateer#So like. Theres a lot of shit happening in a weird setting#With two characters that need to Mesh while both putting up complete fronts.#and it needs to set up the stakes and themes for the rest of the damn story.#qnd its just a lot man. I love this project. i love these characters. but there's so many moving pieces bc theres had to be to make enough#Stuff to fill out the long spaces where they're just. on a pirate ship. being bored.#im probably over thinking this#blehgh
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OH I JUST REALIZED THAT ADRIANA HADN'T BEGUN HER TRANSITION WHEN SHE ARRIVED AT HQ. she'd Literally Just ran away from home when she got there. And she was probably EXTREMELY nervous, not necessarily because she was about to join a secret supernatural organization, but because she'd always been conditioned to feel ashamed about who she is and she feared they'd reject her, or worse, be actively hostile towards her once they saw her in person.
Imagine her relief when she saw queer identities being recognized in the registration form. And when nobody batted an eye when she selected she/her as her pronouns. And when she met her bosses and the UNDEAD COMMANDER OF HER SQUAD noticed her discomfort and the mismatch between her government issued ID and her registration form and he mentioned gender-affirming care being available at the facility. And when her other boss encouraged her to get it, because it's free, and she deserves to be happy and, mlst importantly, herself. Can you imagine? Not only did she get her dream job and escaped her abusive parents, but she was also given the chance and was actively encouraged to become herself. Her REAL self. And she found nothing but support and validation along the way.
#I hadn't thought about this before but it makes SO Much sense that Adriana hadn't come out to anyone but her hacker friends beforehand#im lowkey crying over Ethan seeing her struggle with her self image. something he understands all too well.#and pointing out solutions for her because he might be a lost cause but she sure isn't#anyway basically ethan and thomas are her dads. and yes hq has free gender reaffirming healthcare#they treat aliens and interdimensional beings on a daily basis they can spare some estradiol#and tiddy#Luke rants#[OC] Adriana 'Riot' Santos#[Story] Veilkeepers
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I think I have avpd. I just relate a lot to the symptoms I've found and listening to people talk about it I resonate with too
#i saw some people say. despite having such an intense need for connection and belonging they just self sabotage and have a genuiene fear#i felt that so hard.#i know i have rocd but i never understood why it was so bad. why i always felt so alienated all the time#why i let myself just fall into the background. why i have such a naturally anxious demeanor and overthink comfortable silence.#i worry too much all the time about how im percieved and the fact that i dont fit in and i could never wrap my head around why#or why i push people away all the time for seemingly no reason. i even used to do it in highschool.#getting close to people. being vulnerable with them. its so so anxiety inducing for me.#i thought it was avoidant attachment but it feels like more than that. i dont know.#it would make sense ... im worried im faking it though. idk.#i want to ask my therapist what she thinks. i brought it up before but she kinda brushed it off as avoidant attachment#idk. ive been thinking about it a lot but i also dont want to fakeclaim.#diary
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sometimes i think about my spn oc and how i rewrote everything about amara to interact with the story i was trying to tell about her. there were some really neat ideas in that i need to recycle for something one day. like, in the show proper, they just let amara take over a human baby and that’s fine, but amara’s not Meant To Be Here. this entire universe is one constructed in her absence. saying she can possess a human body should be like saying if you took a person and sent them to a universe where 1+1=3, they could just figure out how to function within that.
which in story took the form of Amara being something that could not be Understood, only Rationalized. a force locked outside the narrative who could only get inside and destroy things if given a role within it. by the Winchesters as A Monster To Face. by Chuck as Wayward, Unreachable Sister. and by miss oc as. simultaneously a projected creature to be saved, an amalgamation of injustices done to herself (and others) that would never be righted but could be made up for by being a part of this. and as something impossibly powerful that could be both protection and purpose.
and the Darkness wasn’t any of those things, really, but to have agency in her own story required new shackles, but ones she was always straining against. she wouldn’t fit inside the confines of a human mind, let alone a body, at least not well enough to leave it Intact. like lucifer burning through nick, but Worse. because the burns were an expected outcome of skin not strong enough to hold him. humans were built for angels, some were built better and some worse, but they’re meant to work. putting amara in human skin should disconnect the skin and mind and soul from the reality her brother built itself, i think. slowly. bit by bit.
and at the same time, i’d gone and written the kind of wild scenario you really can only write for your thirteen year old mary sue, given that spn oc the part of herald/high priestess/failed vessel. which she pursued with wild abandon like that would fix anything wrong with her <3
in the end, running alongside the borrowed family theming of the original show was my own theme of “how much self-annihilation will you accept to make your point. are you accepting it, really. or are you seeking it.” not just physically, in letting something unmake the base components of what you are as it tries to fit inside you or in it constricting and suffocating itself beyond self-recognition to get inside in the first place, but, obviously, it’s supernatural, how much selfhood do you cede to your family. is it worth it.
it was interesting, if nothing else. let thirteen year old me cook. she had ideas.
#spn oc#don’t mind this i’m rambling about nothing i felt nostalgic about her (<- my oc)#there was also an explanation in the mix for why amara was called amara in this au too despite. you know. not being a baby.#and it was like. a vessel’s desperate attempt to separate itself from the thing inside it by naming it something other than itself.#like a last moment of self-preservation. the opposite of lucifer using nick’s face and us all agreeing to think of it as his. you know?#and amara means beauty.#it’s a very human need. to name things. and the thing is that humanity itself is antithetical to what amara is. in this au.#not because of any inherent quality of it. but because it was not made with her in mind.#i keep bringing up lucifer but he’s such a good comparison case of what thirteen year old me was trying to construct here#and what i can better explain now that im. not thirteen. but its that. lucifer has beef with humans because they have common ground.#the only reason he can hate them is because they’re recognizable to him. terrible little cockroaches. but something he understands.#amara as i conceived of her could not hate or love or understand humanity. or the world. or anything as we know it. because it was not made#to be seen by her. it was made with the express purpose of her never encountering it.#when i was thirteen i wanted her to be so much more alien than she was. unfortunately this is supernatural and supernatural deals in#Just Some Guy forever and ever <3#but it was my story so i made her fucked up and weird and beyond comprehension.#except. of course. when forced to bend into a shape that makes her Not her.#i don’t think proper envesseling would have been a process either her or the oc survived. not because they’d die but because they’d get.#stuck? i think? that was what the intent was. that they’d get melted together like plastic toys.#chuck had a nice smooth envesseling in this au because these toys are made for him.#and angels need consent and angels get bleedover from their vessels because the toys are shared with them but they’re closer to being toys#themselves too.#i’ve rambled enough honestly no one cares about this but me aksjfkjfks#what was i talking about. right! the naming!#the naming of amara is a nail in her coffin because she is named and it is so human to be named and to be perceived and to be shaped by that#perception. even without malicious intent. even to be looked at as destruction itself and be named beauty.#in the same way you kill what something could be by learning what it is. the way a unicorn dies when you discover how rhinos were drawn.#does that make sense? that’s what kills her. bit by bit.
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the '92 x-men series is wild shit's just. happening
#x men#honestly i wish i'd watched it before '97 bc now so much more makes sense#well 'sense' in that there's context#so much of this feels like crazy random bullshit tho#what do u mean there's a prehistoric island in the middle of the (ant)arctic that Magneto helped make#what do u mean charles is in love with a psychic alien#what do u mean jean is being possessed by a cosmic space phoenix#what do you mean --#kaiju yapping
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hiii im in the middle of watching voy for the first time (i just finished watching 6x6 riddles actually) and ive always recognized you as That person who Loves tuvok and i wanted to know your thoughts on neelix and tuvok's relationship? its my favorite aspect of voy personally but im interested in hearing how a massive tuvok fan like you feels about them
Tuvok & Neelix Thoughts (Fractured): Man who grows flowers for food loves a man who grows them purely for beauty, Annoying4Annoying, Comedy routines, Intricate rituals and the playing up of roles, Aliens amongst humans - to assimilate or remain stubborn?, Bringer of water/Bringer of life, Seeing an angel through the mist, Two people who have difficulty communicating and come off as off-putting to those around them, Unrequited love, Love is stored in the food + kitchen, Family men left without any family, People from impossible moons, Jokes that go too far, Horrific loneliness being masked by something else, I won't leave you alone (pos&neg), Cracks in the facade, People pretending and pretending and pretending, Leolaroot I Can't Help It I'm A Moth To The Flame Required Viewing, I can only admit I like you when no one else is around - when the situation's as bleak as can be - when we're seconds from death - only then will I admit that it's been fun. Apologies in the form of sliced apples instead of words vs Apologies in the form of long and tearful contrition. LET ME IN!!! LET ME IN!!!! Locked door you keep bruising your hand banging against. People who love too much so they: keep knocking, keep their ear against the door.
My thoughts are that Neelix is a silly goofy little tragic clown of a man and Tuvok thinks he's so much better than him but in actuality whatever they're up to makes them both look stupid <3 /affectionate Neelix having a crush on Tuvok is canon to me - what Tuvok's response to or level of knowledge of that is changes by the day.
#I was halfway through typing all those fractured thoughts when it hit me 'perhaps this user did not mean in a romantic sense'#but I already typed half of that and made that picture thing SOOO#In regards to pure friendship I still love them and think they're very funny together <3#I think Tuvok's feelings towards Neelix are complicated and alien#and Neelix's are more straightforward internally but complicated in that Tuvok usually is making fun of him v_v#I headcanon them both as being poor at communicating honestly with others but they cover this up and proceed in different ways#Neelix is overly friendly and attentive and ignores ppl's comments about him (but he KNOWS)#meanwhile Tuvok is reclusive and doesn't often let comments pass without a comment of his own to counter it#Neelix worries about that bc it means Tuvok won't be as well liked meanwhile Tuvok finds Neelix's persistent friendliness to be exhausting#Neelix is a guy who uses friendliness in some ways as a means of survival and I also headcanon he feels somewhat protective of Tuvok#and indeed everyone on Voyager in a strange way...like 'oh these guys are such idiots...they don't know shit about survival they've lived#such cozy little lives!!' <- eventually said with much more affection than shock/scorn#Tuvok & Neelix: (about one another) You are SO annoying and stupid...godbless.....#Q&A#I h ope this answers your question#waspstar#Tuvok/Neelix#Tuvok#Neelix#I 'm IMMEASURABLY pleased to be The Tuvok Loving Guy HEHEHE <3#star trek relationship aesthetic
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✨️Magenta✨️
#I've been really sad lately#its logical I've had a lot happen and a lot going on#and I've been mostly bedridden the past week cause of fibro flares#my brain can see the logic of why my body feels burnt out and why i feel anxious#but i also have this profound sense of loneliness that's been weighing on my chest#I feel the need to isolate and get away from people because it feels like it doesn't matter how much i try to blend in someone#will catch onto me being an “alien” or not quite fitting their mold or having a difference of opinion and i get bullied or ostracized#out of participating with folks or doing activities#and i get so overwhelmed by people and their literal energy/vibes that it feels as though I'm caught in a sneaker wave and being pulled#from shore and this is compounded on top of that feeling of being surrounded by people like tons of them who may even enjoy your company#but still feel very much isolated and alone the whole time#it could be winter triggering trauma responses in me due to childhood abuse related to the holidays#and then there's me trying to brainstorm how i can make money with my creativity when i have little to no help with anyone#and no one will give me a chance to bounce ideas and get a third persons opinion#its felt like this since i can remember: people value that i listen and reflect all the while show compassion#and then when i really need it myself and attempt to reach out i get the door shut in my face#it feels like the only people that have truly listened to me are therapists lmao and it hurts cause its like i gotta pay someone#just to listen to me go off on this idea i have for a side hustle a creative pursuit something i love#and i can't really share that with anyone irl because I'm supposed to be everyones therapist#and its shitty i dont get paid for it if thats the case lol#i feel like tumblr is the only spot I really have where i can share a lot of myself and make things that make others and myself happy#i don't know what id do without it#magenta is my safe word for venting#thanks for coming to my tedtalk as i write into the void#getting shit off my chest at 4am#i aint gettin no sleep cause of yall yall not gon get no sleep cause of meeee
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