#being “smart” can mean so many different things and manifest in so many different ways

[transasahi]

who do you think was smarter: l or light?

sorry but i dont think this is a very interesting or worthwhile question. i dont think of anyone including the characters of death note as being ranked on a scale of "smartness" (which means basically nothing)

[gazeofseer]

Direction of light to the browns of your life (;

Browns, what grounds you and what burns

You, deeply underneath too.

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Fatalist is term used for the one who confuses the go with the flow to become prone to act or intent and choosing not to play which will keep them under the fate, is a state of your fear, dear.

Instances of yours : You so badly wanted to take a decision about something quite recently but you step back and waited for the fate to decide for you, but you got more confused now that a week has passed because your fear covers non existential ideologies to appease your mind's guess.

You are a damsel but not in distress but in the capture of your mind's vivid imaginary and illusions that seems like a vision but is not, remember this is the world of manifestation whatever comes here is a by product of your state of being not of your state of reactions and idealism, it is birth out of your actual reality.

So there is a lot of confusions now, to clear which you need to seek your intentions do you really intent towards what your presume to be your purpose? Question that bloody dream does it dares to manifest when you will fail or will it vanish like a delusion you just had to gauge your mind off the bait?

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Overthinking is not a disease it is a power of your discipline that flow of thoughts you find a way out of your head quite smart right? Quite logical and prideful to feel right as always, but where do you hide those wrongs, those mistakes, that makes you feel like sinner to do so? You don't strive for perfection, you actually like one, great pretentious can be a great tool unless it becomes wavering, unsettling and making high while feeling the lowest in this moment right?

So much of right, I hear a feminine voice with chuckles shows how confident you are about everything you have, and the way you identify yourself with things, but when you endear it as an experience it's annoying, you start nitpicking, for your thoughts it found a flow in your mouth that you keep bickering, playing to some extent, what leaves bitter in this after all? Is the distance you feel within your authenticity and a convincing truth you lied around about.

You are not sad, not in pain, not in guilt or even regret you are disappointed in yourself, for the way you feel, for the way your head takes over all your heart like a devouring death you smile upon.

You need to really, really stop giving value attention, to your thoughts it's mere exertion of your senses let that go liar are those who say you become what you think, you become what you believe in, you become what you feel like is the mere intuition's guide.

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Shed many scales left my scars, even broken the light from the star I held so tightly underneath the sight of wars I had, battles I am fed with, all I could ever be is tired even with the best of the person, I had to feel sorrow and pitful, like an aftermath I stayed in people but with a different story to state of torns, I don't know anything, but I always told about everything, I lend hands and ears, and get rewarded with swords and screams.

Warrior, My champion how does it feel to be your very own thing? Great right then what is the guilt lying in there? There is a cobweb of perception you have crawled your mind through break that, your giving too much importance to the words of others getting absorbed in take your time alone and chose silence sometimes words must fail you so you can see what people mean was truly never about you but the way they feel, they want, they need about you. Do not get into the play of says and opinions they are void. Anyways you have strong instincts and intuition you either way don't need that.

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[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[thisismeracing]

How you get the girl | DR3

― Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x black!plus size!reader ― Warning: mentions of food and alcohol; Mclaren Danny and tooth-rotting fluff. (1.5k words) ― Summary: Yn is tired of going on dates only to realize that the guy she thought was great, was actually terrible. So that’s why when her friend tells her she knows someone who would match perfectly, Yn accepts the blind date. It’s gonna be her last attempt at love, and now Daniel only has one date to prove he’s worth it. (based on this request)

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There are many ways in which one can fall in love. Yn didn't expect it to happen with her on the first date. To be fair, she didn’t expect it to happen to her at all. Being a plus-size black girl she learned to love herself, well aware that the way society portrays beauty wouldn’t always include her. Her shade, shape, and experiences. Which doesn’t mean she was not pretty. Quite the opposite, she knew she was stunning, and no validation was needed for that, yet you can miss it every once in a while. It rejoices your soul to hear how good you look and how smart you are.

But she left it on the second plan, focusing on her work and studies. Things were good, great even, however, her friends knew she deserved someone good. And as it happens, they knew exactly the pair for her.

Daniel was not looking for love either. He liked how things were going, and liked how he was able to focus in a different light this season, however, he missed it. Missed having someone to celebrate post-races with, to cuddle, and to hold him when he felt down. That’s why when Adam and Amina, two of his close friends from a tight group, proposed to set him up on a blind date he accepted. There wasn’t anything to lose, and he liked to follow his own bits of advice about enjoying being naive, enjoying the butterflies.

Even though it was a blind date, it was Danny who set up everything, with the help of his friends, of course. According to them, Yn would like a beach date. So that’s what he aimed for.

And it felt just right when she showed up wearing an orange summer set with a shy, yet bright smile on her face.

Yn didn’t know at the time, but she had just given a whole meaning to the orange color for him.

“You must be Amina’s friend, Daniel, right?” Yn asked, voice being carried by the wind and getting mixed with the sounds of waves crashing behind them.

Daniel nodded watching her curls bounce and her lips stretch in a small smile, “Yeah-Yeah, it’s me.”

“Yn,” they shook hands with a shy smile because even though Daniel was anything but shy, something about that date seemed new to him, like something he never experienced before.

“I hope you like the beach, and pizza. I wanted to go for something private and chill, Amina and Adam agreed, but still, I hope I got this right.”

She smiles, looks at the blanket on the sand, the pizza box, and the wine, then nods, “I love it. It’s exactly what I would go for had I been the one to choose the setting.”

“Really?” There’s a slight hint of disbelief mixed with amusement in his tone, and it makes Yn chuckle.

“Maaaaybe this would tie with a coffee shop date,” she confesses.

“We can do coffee shop for our second date,” Daniel is quick to shoot his shot and Yn arches her brow, she wants to smile again.

“What makes you think we’re having a second date?”

“I’m just manifesting, throwing it to the universe,” he jokes and she can’t help but laugh while they walk side by side to the blanket. “See? I made you laugh, my chances are getting higher, aren’t they?”

“It all depends on the pizza flavor, now.”

“Good thing I got one slice from each, then.”

“You kidding me?”

“No, and I got a whole one of your favorite flavor, well, according to Amina.”

Yn watches in disbelief and Danny sits by her side and sure enough, opens the two boxes of pizza showing her a pizza with different slices and a whole one of her favorite.

“Ok, and that’s how you get the girl. You might have landed a second date, Daniel.”

He smiles brightly and she can’t help but think that he now has a third one too.

“So, aside from having a great taste in pizza, what else should I know about you?” He asks while opening the wine bottle and Yn chews on a bit of food before starting to tell him about herself.

They go back and forth, there’s never the awkward silence, and they realize they have many things in common aside from the two friends that set them up. Yn has no idea he’s a driver and somehow it makes Daniel even more enamored by her. She seems to like him for who he is truly, and not because of a cool side of his that happens to make him famous and rich. It’s warm and fuzzy, and fun, and the symphony of waves crashing down and giggles envelop their afternoon until the sun starts to set and they decide to head home parting with a timid kiss in the corner of their lips.

It’s on the second date when she makes fun of his milk foam mustache and sips her own coffee mirroring his image that Daniel realizes he might be in love. Her dark skin is glowing, and the hair atop her head is like a halo, while she smiles at his camera with a funny face pointing at her mustache. Both unaware there are other people in the small coffee shop.

Daniel can only see Yn.

And Yn can only see Daniel.

At the end of that date, he takes her home and kisses her at her door. It’s soft and warm, and it feels right. It feels perfect. They fit together like two puzzle pieces. His heart racing under her hand, and her face stretching in a smile under his. He gets inside, and they talk and kiss a bit more before he has to leave.

It doesn’t take long for the third date to happen. Just two days, both counting the hours to see each other while frantically texting. It’s a drive-in theater, Yn’s idea. They watch a horror movie while Daniel gets scared by the jumps every time, making Yn laugh. They also share a popcorn pot, fingers shyly caressing the other whenever they touch by accident. When the movie ends and the credits are rolling around, the moon and the gleam from the big screen in front of them casting a distinctive glow on Yn, Daniel is sure he’s in love.

“Hey, so- I have this race next week, would you wanna go with me? I can fly you out on Saturday, or you can go with me and see how everything works from behind the scenes,” he suggests, fingers crossed in the dark praying for her to accept, praying for her not to think he’s being too fast. Maybe he was indeed, but this was all new to him too. He was fast on the track, he was never this fast outside it, never this fast to fall, to want someone, to seek someone, to show off someone. He wanted her by his side.

“Wouldn’t it be like making things official?” Yn asks genuinely curious and Daniel can tell by the way she bites her lips and one of her eyebrows goes up the slightest.

“Yeah, am I going too fast?”

“I mean, you’re a racing driver, I would say it’s your job to go fast, isn’t it?” She jokes and he laughs throwing his head on the headrest.

“Yes, but outside the track, I only wanna go fast like this for you.”

“That was so cheesy.”

“But did you like it?” He grins, and Yn rolls her eyes playfully before her body bends over the dash to capture his lips in a kiss.

“I loved it.”

And so a few days later Yn finds herself on a private plane meeting a bunch of different people and being introduced as his girlfriend, because sure enough, Daniel asked properly when he dropped her home that night. He got her a necklace and everything the next day. She learns that racing and the whole Formula 1 thing is more hectic than it seemed, but still, it’s fun. Amina and Adam watch the Sunday race with her, making fun of the way she can’t help but cheer loudly sometimes and bite her nails.

That was the Sunday Daniel got P1. The same Sunday he ran to her before the podium and kissed her lips in front of everyone, giving her his biggest smile and thanking her for being there, his lucky charm.

That was also the Sunday he said he loved her for the first time while they celebrated in private after the party. Laced in each other's love, gazing into the other’s eye, the certainty of the truth behind his statement.

Their friends were right, they were perfect for each other.

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, honeybees! I hope you guys liked this piece! <3 I wanted to add a huge shout-out to C (my coffee emoji anon on Tumblr) for proofreading this (Ily, C!)

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[lesbianrobin]

Hi for a writer new to writing 911 fics what are some key character points that you think are really important for capturing the vibes of Buck and Eddie?

omg HIII 🫶🏻🫶🏻

so first off i also consider myself New to writing 911 fics fmvjdjc but i assume since ur asking Me of all people you like one/some of my fics enough to think i am an authority which rules. thank u that's so sweet. ANYWAY on to my actual advice.

buck: you know that john mulaney bit where he's saying he's a terrible driver and he's like "i hear you honking and i also don't want me to be doing what i'm doing. i don't like that i'm in that lane either. and i sure would like to get out of it." that is buck in basically every aspect of his life besides being a firefighter. his problem is that he won't pull over long enough to figure out what the hell he's doing. buck acts before he thinks and only Later does he even consider like hey Why did i do that. What was i feeling. What was i trying to accomplish. which often results in him behaving selfishly and hurting others (see: lawsuit, Entire Relationship With Taylor Kelly, maiming eddie during a basketball game, coming to the erroneous conclusion that he was jealous over tommy rather than eddie) as well as behaving recklessly and risking his own life under the cover of heroism and necessity.

as far as more like. basic character things go. buck can be kinda dumb And smart at the same time. people often swing really hard in one direction or the other and i think it does buck a disservice. like, yeah, he loves his fun facts and research spirals and books, he clearly has a love for learning, but he's also not the Best at critical analysis of his sources and maybe has a tendency to take things at face value. like i do fear that buck could be persuaded to join an essential oils mlm.

ALSO buck is a weirdo like yes he Can be charming but he also has chronic foot-in-mouth disease and says shit like "oh we didn't kill him we just WANTED to!" TO THE COPS. WHEN BEING QUESTIONED ABOUT A MURDER. i think buck is just constantly rolling either nat ones or nat twentys when it comes to charisma.

i also think it's important to keep in mind that while buck can be deeply insecure, that insecurity doesn't Usually manifest in him like. noticeably withdrawing into himself or trudging sadly around like a kicked puppy. his response to that insecurity is most often to be loud, to lash out, or to overcompensate (see: his entire personality in s1, eddie's introduction, befriending red and taking on his end of life care, swearing to abby that he'll rescue her fiancé and risking his own life to do it, etc).

ok i think i've yapped enough ab buck SO!

eddie: i actually feel like way less confident prescribing advice for writing eddie fmvkdjc so this'll probably be shorter than the buck section. as far as the Basics go i think people can often characterize eddie as very like serious and grim but he rly is not! he's a very silly guy! mostly with chris and buck, but also a bit with carla and linda and the rest of the 118. i think eddie is a guy who can behave very differently depending on how comfortable he is around somebody, and there are many parts of himself that he keeps locked down around others.

eddie thinks about his feelings and motivations before acting in a way that buck typically doesn't, but that doesn't mean he's correctly assessing those feelings and motivations. eddie is an incredibly unreliable narrator when it comes to his own life! he'll feel the desire to do something (for example, dating ana or going from active firefighting to a desk job) and Then construct his conscious reasoning for it (i'm ready to move on from shannon and i like her, chris will feel better and it's better for him if i have a safe job) while avoiding his Deeper feelings and motivations (the compulsion to give chris A Mother so that he feels like less of a failure as a father, his own ptsd and other mental health struggles in the wake of the shooting).

this doesn't mean that eddie is entirely emotionally unintelligent! he just kinda hates himself and he's deeply repressed and he often feels that he can't do things For Him, they all have to be For Chris.

ok that's like most of what i've got for now i'm rly not an authority on eddie but i tried my best 😭

as a duo: i think the #1 thing to remember when writing buck and eddie is that they're best friends and they understand each other better than anybody else in their lives. like that doesn't mean that they're always on the same page but they Do canonically recognize each other's feelings and motivations most of the time and after the lawsuit/street fighting era, they always respond to each other with patience and care when one of them is having a rough time.

like i think you actually have to try Very hard to justify it if you're gonna have buck and eddie miscommunicating and seriously arguing with each other in a fic. i remember when everyone was like omgggg buck is gonna LOSE IT ON EDDIE when he finds out about kim!! and then when buck Did find out about kim he was literally just worried about eddie and talked to him about it and asked the questions that eddie Needed to be asked so that he could work through his feelings and address the situation. buck and eddie just have a knack for knowing what the other person needs, and they're at a point where they will go to each other for help and be openly vulnerable!

and they have fun together! they're silly! see: "locked room mystery" "locked Yard mystery", the whole bachelor party, eddie being like buck Pwease can we look for the treasure together 🥺, etc etc. they just enjoy being together and i think that is so crucial to writing them.

final thoughts: in general my #1 piece of advice for writing fic is to rewatch the show/clips from the show when you're trying to capture a character's voice. i do not do this nearly as often as i should bc i am lazy but it rly is deeply helpful for making sure that they sound like themselves!

i would also advise that even if your fic is buddie-centric, it helps to include the other characters in even small ways. our relationships with others are central to who we are! references to other characters like chris, maddie, chim, etc. can go a long way toward making buck and eddie feel like themselves.

thank you again for asking me!! it's really really flattering. i hope this was of some help to you!!

[rin-and-jade]

Is This (Truly) My Reflection..? : A Post on Imposter Syndrome [Master Guide]

" Did well on a test? Must be luck. They think im smart? Man, i must've tricked them because im not. My condition is bad? Well it could be even worser than this. Im struggling? Must be a minor thing, plus everyone struggles worser right..? "

If these words hits close to home, take a moment to look in the mirror. What do you notice? Maybe you fear lots of things, having horrible self-esteem, or being a perfectionist and overthinking everything?

Fear not! They're just blotches obscuring your true reflection, let's finally clean your mirror, shall we? So let's get on with the post;

How did go dusty?

Materialistically speaking, we all know that objects also need regular maintenance to keep it's best quality and lifetime,, mirrors are one of them, especially glasses because magical smudges spawns in once in a while, pretty annoying to see with when things are not clear isn't it?

I think the imposter image also clouds you the same way, it doesn't change the facts, but it does change the way you perceive them.

But, how did they spawn in your vision? It doesn't just pop out, maybe we didn't see it coming when it's small, dust and smears are more visible when they cluster together. What this means is how criticism, out-of-reach demands, and unrealistic expectations you hear most often gets accumulated, slowly obscuring you. Make sense right?

Since the things you hear the most echoes through your chamber harder than the less frequent ones, and that nobody hear's the same thing/words automatically means there are different forms of this syndrome's manifestation, i'll list them down: (bare in mind this is read in a pov of talking to oneself)

Perfectionist - "It all has to be right" You must do it perfect, everything must go smooth, if it doesn't go like how you planned you could've done better in many ways because why can't you see it coming before? That's impossible and unforgivable, there's no toleration for mistakes. Makes you look like you're not as good enough as others.

Expert - "Until then, i may be competent" There's a lot to master or learn, only then you can call yourself worthy of a title. Because the greatest ones must know everything, they don't have any weaknesses--since that's what an expert is! What are you, who learnt most things it has to give, but still missing a lot of little gaps? Once it is all flawless and understood you can call yourself that.

Natural Genius - "I am great, as long i can wing it" Everything must be an easy feat, you must be able to do things right on first try, if not, you might be no other than an average person. Geniuses are fast learning--and they can do everything right where people least expect it. Only then you can truly be smart or intelligent, wrong deductions are associated with less bright people! So if you just make one mistake out of anything, You are just the same as them, you don't have such talent!!

Lone wolf - "It's not real effort if it's intervened" A status or level means nothing if someone helps you, because thats cheating! You should start from scratch like everyone else, asking for help will equate to not being competent or worthy. You will never be able to asses your competence or abilities if it was assisted by someone else, you need to prove being worthy by doing it all yourself!

Hardest Worker - "I should perform as the best" Only if you work the most, the hardest, diligently and with no rest, is only when you can settle down and claim your achievements. What are you if you are not as special? You are nothing but a fraud if you're not the hardest working person ever, you also don't deserve to take a break until you reach to a higher level than others! You are nothing if you are not productive, or didn't achieve any amazing outcome.

Each types has its own fixations and areas where self-doubt comes around, you might even be a mix of these 5 (pick the dominant one if can), the manifestations are endless. Note that the main theme it all has are fear of being fake/inadequate and, or causing extreme doubt, one way or another.

If you need more assurance, i have prepared links for two short quizzes to figure out if you are showing signs of the imposter syndrome! They're already tested by me, so give these two a try.

How should i clean it??

Good question, but before that, i want to mention that this inner critic is a common automatic second voice where it's created in a place of potential abuse or mistreatment for many kinds of victims. Just like how you wipe your stuffs clean can go dirty in a few days despite leaving it be, this is the same. But the more you take care of your glass, the harder the specks will stick on it. That's our goal right there: Make the critics bother you less and more weak the more we deflect them.

Now to the main point, its a tough one here, because depending on what type you have, has it's own root of cause that needs to be tackled accordingly. This post is how to specifically tackle the sense of fraud in being a system, but you can apply this to any other general things the syndrome is causing you problems at.

--

Dear Perfectionist, here's how you can clean your mirror:

Understand that CDDs have no 'right' way of how it'll present the symptoms to you. Like, for someone to have a cold who have a sore throat for the early onset, while you're having runny nose,, does not mean you are the odd one out for not being the same as other's manifestation.

Nothing is constant, or the same, in frequency or intensity. You don't have to suffer 24/7 to finally accept you have a CDD or anything else. Just like for those with chronic pain, who doesn't experience pain for a day, does not mean they are cured of, or not having it. One minute of feeling okay still can happen to those with illnesses.

Perfectionism seeks outward assurance to fit whatever it finds 'right' or it's prime example as reference, which is the opposite of what you truly need: Acceptance. Comparison can be helpful, but oftentimes it causes counterproductive results. Your experiences are already real and it uniquely belongs to you, no amount of external validation will fill you, accept as how you are.

--

Dear Expert, here's how you can clean your mirror:

Having CDD means having a very covert disorder, it is not that you're a fraud for not knowing, or have proof of what caused you to be one, or know every parts and places in the innerworld, or need a perfect book filled with documentation on anything you can find. You do not need to 'master' or understand how your disorder truly works in order to feel like you have it--because guess what, you do have despite it, buddy.

You cannot rush things! Take things slow and steady, a microwaved meal may not taste good but it sure gets served in a mere minute, but gourmet are made from long and tedious work that trusts the process instead of the final result. Many systems rush to develop a better communication without fully learning what type of communication they have, like communicating with vibes instead of the stereotypical type for example.

Nobody ever figure things out by a 100%, so ease back and embrace uncertainty and the unknown. If the greatest researchers still can't make sense of how our galaxy works, then you should not be guilty or feel incompetent for not being able to figure it out, we are not perfect ofcourse, there are limitations to what we can know of our CDD.

--

Dear Natural Genius, here's how you can clean your mirror:

Having a disorder does not mean you immediately know what it does, will do, or how it'll turn out. Never feel bad about learning from scratch, you also don't have to get things right first try because it might be a new topic you're unfamiliar with. If you once think you have DID, but turns out to be Polyfragmented the longer you learn and research, it is a very natural thing to experience as CDD's have many similarities between each other.

You can't keep relying on being unprepared, but expect to do it perfect. It is not a negative thing to always recap, or learn it again, and whenever you do get things wrong, it is a valuable information to learn from, it's not your enemy. The lightbulb isn't invented at first try, but after hundreds and thousands of tries, and the worth still never gets devalued.

--

Dear Lone Wolf, here's how you can clean your mirror:

It is never cheating to ask for help, or get insight from another person. It never means you are not competent if you need some external help, rather like how you cannot see crumbs in your face until someone points it out. One can do an okay amount of progress, but if with many, it can progress even better and faster.

You must dismantle whatever makes you think of this way, things like hyper-independence are caused by a deeper root, you must delve and explore why are you only deemed worth, or feel okay, if you do everything yourself. We grow better when we surround ourselves with many other things.

--

Dear Hardest Worker, here's how you can clean your mirror:

healing is a journey, i understand that you want to get over with the whole CDD's symptoms and it's problems and start getting into final fusion/functional system, that the fluctuation with everyday's progress may frustrate you, but everyday doesn't have to be succeeding something or have an eureka, progress is never linear. You will still get there one day, don't fret on it too much okay?

Worries may not leave you alone fully, and just so you know, your worth or validation isn't tied with productivity. Whatever guilt or doubt you have that is causing this, i hope you can incorporate more self-compassion. For the alter with role jobs, you all deserve to have a break and have fun outside of those jobs, and rely with other parts for help. You're doing enough.

Why does it happen? Where's the takeaway?

Well, imposter syndrome relies on many biases/distortions and possible fallacies, i'll tell you some in hopes of helping you get out of its grip better than your previous attempts after learning the awful trick of theirs:

Confirmation bias: When you take a part of a fact to confirm your current image of you have, whilst downplaying contradicting and or disregarding other pov to maintain it.

Mental filter: Fixated on the negative aspects or flaws while missing out on the bigger picture or contextual information it has. Leading to false judgement of one's situation/ability.

Overgeneralization: Where a person assumes an experience from one event will apply to another different event. Or base an answer from a limited evidence or current failures. For example, interpreting a single mistake or setback as evidence that they are incompetent or unworthy, despite having a track record of success in other areas.

False consensus bias: Believing that others share the same negative opinions or doubts about oneself, even when there is little evidence to support this assumption. For example, one may believe that everyone in their workplace or academic environment is highly competent and confident, leading them to feel even more out of place and undeserving.

Fundamental attribution error: Where one underemphasize situational and environmental factors for the behavior of itself/someone else while overemphasizing dispositional or personality factors. For example, people who cut lines in traffic is a jerk, but if you cut traffic it's because there's something important. The pure opposite can be true in this specific example: Sarah receives praise from her supervisor for completing a project ahead of schedule and with excellent quality. However, instead of attributing her success to hard work, skills, and knowledge, she discounts the positive feedback by attributing the outcome to external factors. Saying "I just got lucky this time," or "My team members helped me a lot, so it wasn't all my effort." instead.

--

So there a hecking ton of information i put here.. But these things are very important to learn about, because the imposter syndrome is a multifaceted problem that has to be addressed in more than one angle.

I hope, everything that is written from start to end, can be used as your chemical cleaner, wiping cloth, along with your handy guide on how to take care of your mirror professionally,

Happy cleaning everyone!

- j

[indelen]

This is my reread of the Lockwood and Co. Books, organized by @blue-boxes-magic-and-tea , I'll make a general summary of several chapters and then post bits and pieces that jumped out at me.

Part I - Chapters 1-4

The Whispering Skull - while it does properly introduce my beloved murder sewer rat boy - is George’s book. It explores his character, his flaws and faults and his extraordinary skills and talents. We see a lot more into his past, his history with Fittes, his attitudes and world view and not all of it is good. George, as told by Lucy, is an interesting character - a lot of what Lucy finds objectionable about him is filtered through her highly biased lens. Many of the things Lucy dislikes about George is surface stuff, a mix of shallow teenage meanness and insecure projection (Lucy is VERY self conscious and insecure and to mask this she takes it out on basically everyone around her who is not Lockwood) but there are things about George that are true flaws. He’s single minded and obsessive, he is insensitive and shows least empathy of the three. He also picks fights and arguments honestly a shocking number of times. We saw this in The Screaming Staircase, where he easily snapped back at Kipps, but also slagged off someone like Barnes when really the more wise thing to do would have been to keep quiet. Combined with all this you really do see that living with George would be very trying day to day, he’s a good kid and a loyal friend but he has that abrasiveness that comes from being right a lot from a very young age. And I like that the books both show it is important to have self worth but also that George needs a dose of self awareness no less than Lockwood or Lucy sometimes.

Odds and Ends:

Importantly, the book starts with George making a mistake. Because while he is smart and he is dedicated and thorough - no one is perfect. Sometimes people make the wrong call. The Screaming Staircase showed George being right most of the time, but The Whispering Skull shows just how bad things can go when someone as smart as him makes an error in judgment.

The books consistently and often in small subtle ways show that Lockwood is a good leader. He trains with Lucy, trusts and believes in her evident strengths but also helps, guides and encourages her in areas where her training shows gaps. Lucy’s not a great fencer at the start, likely only having ever been shown the very basics by Jacobs, Lockwood works hard with her to get her to improve without hounding her about it. He’s shown to keep cool in moments of panic and doesn't waste time assigning blame. Lucy is definitely besotted with him and her impressions of him are filtered through that lens but you definitely get the sense that Lockwood is good when it matters.

This is an interesting book-to-show change. In the books it’s George who originally proposes a competition between the agencies and goads Kipps, not Lockwood. Lockwood actually tries to de-escalate at first but gets caught up in the competition. In the show it’s Lockwood’s recklessness alone that leads to the bet and both Lucy and George are equally appalled by it. Lockwood may be reckless but so is Geroge, it just manifests in a different way. George regularly needles people and because he is very perceptive he can really get under someone’s skin. It’s all childish bickering for now, but of course if you prod the wrong person it can get dangerous…

That said Lockwood is amazingly bitchy too. And this sort of sass is also cutting, just in a different way. He’s saying the same thing George is saying, just more subtly - “look at you, big man, ordering tiny children under ten around. That's not for me.”

In the Screaming Staircase Lockwood tells Lucy that the agency has been registered only about three months when the books start and that previous to this Geroge was with Fittes for around six months. George is implied to be around Lockwood’s age (or maybe even older, though if so, not by much). That means that Fittes did not select George and indoctrinate him into their system in early childhood as they did with poor “maybe eight” (EIGHT!!) year old Gladys or age-ten-at-best Bobby. Bobby, despite barely in the double digits, has clearly been with Fittes for some time, he’s probably on his way to getting Grade Three here (he doesn't have a rapier in this scene, but will soon). These kids are incredibly young and impressionable and already are in the field. They’re in awe and have a massive hero worship of their supervisor because he’s functionally the only adult that takes care of them on a daily basis and they latch on to him and take cues from his behavior. Because they are children. Meanwhile, George had a normal upbringing with his family, in the book he is an only child, he likely received a decent education, excelled, took an interest in the Problem and only then, age maybe 13-14 or so, got a job with Fittes. And that heathy, relatively normal, supportive upbringing gave him a substantial amount of self worth and clarity. This was not a kid who would latch on to any adult provided to him, he has caring parents, he has a life outside being an agent. He immediately saw through the Fittes lies and indoctrination since he had no devotion to the agency to cloud his judgment. He didn’t owe them anything and Fittes didn’t like that. This really shows that as an agency Fittes doesn't want just any Talent, they want Talent in specific kinds of damaged and vulnerable kids that are easy to mold and manipulate.

This is where things get dicey. Lucy is correct. Even setting aside the ethical questions for a moment, constantly conducting the same experiment with effectively the same type of negative stimuli and hoping for a different response is flawed methodology. This is classic STEM tunnel vision - having a hypothesis, conducting an experiment, not seeing data you want and rather than re-evaluating your hypothesis, digging in your heels and repeating the same experiments over and over trying to get results that support your ideas. This is the first we see of George’s obsessiveness and self assured nature being a detriment, it’s actively working against him but he dosen’t realize it yet.

And this is where the ethical questions we set aside before, return. The ethics of conducting experiments with Visitors are so, SO dicey. All sorts of things are called into question here. When does a person stop being a person? It can’t be that it’s simply at death, because if it was the case we would not have a history of funerary rites going back to before Homo Sapiens. If we view the dead as still human and deserving of dignity, are Visitors not entitled to at least some of the same courtesy? The idea of performing medical experimentation on a body without some kind of consent or permission is considered unethical and what is Geroge (and … others) doing but basically that? And yet this does not bother him, in part because of that scientific tunnel vision. He wants to know the answers and to him everything else is secondary. But in part also because of how desensitized to death and irreverent to human remains this society has become. Any once alive human being has become nothing but 206 potential issues and problems. Grief is lost and made small by a million bureaucratic failsafes that make any life ending a bother.

Another interesting change between the books and the TV show - in the books the boys never for a moment doubt Lucy when she tells them The Skull spoke to her. This is even before Lockwood senses the conversation taking place (though he cannot hear it) so this was on her word alone and neither batted an eye at it. I get why they changed it for the show, which needs more stakes episode to episode but I dunno it’s kinda sweet these two never questioned Lucy. And I think, after being so dismissed and disregarded by Jacobs, it must have meant a lot to her to have her testimony be trusted so implicitly.

Girl…Come on.

The contrast between George knowing immediately Lucy is attracted to Lockwood and Lucy herself having no idea is so funny, but it also goes back to that emotional awareness George has that Lucy simply does not because she was not raised in a well adjusted enough environment. Where would Lucy even see boys and girls interact in a normal and healthy manner? Where would she see a couple showing affection for one another? She doesn't recognize in herself what she never saw in others.

Once again what bothers Lucy is the power imbalance, she opened up to Lockwood and he was sympathetic but there was no reciprocity. And this bothers Lucy although she can’t explain why, she dosen’t recognize what her attempts to reach out to Lockwood emotionally mean. Why, although the secret is obviously a curiosity to George, he’s not as bothered by the room as she is. He’d friends with Lockwood but he’s not attracted to him. He’s not looking for the kinds of emotional connection Lucy is.

Lucy describes Lockwood Smile counter: 1

[nonbinarydeity]

Simplifying Manifestation/Shifting

Disclaimer: I don't mind if this isn't how you want to manifest. It's okay to have rules that make it work a certain way for you, it's okay to do things your own way. This is just how I understand manifesting now, and if it doesn't resonate with you, that's fine 🥰

So okay, I've been reading a couple of things from an amino user and I've realized so much more deeply what reality is and how to manifest and just everything. Please please please go read those posts because they explain it really well and I'm not an expert on this (yet!!).

Also I'm going to be focusing on my journey and I'm gonna be deleting the Tumblr app because there are WAY too many limiting beliefs on here. I'll do my best to answer questions about this today and tomorrow, then I'm offline for a while 🥰

The 4D and the 3D

So how I understand it now is different from what a lot of the community believes, but I swear that understanding this makes everything so much more simple and stress free.

The 3D is a reflection of your subconscious mind, which exists on the 4D plane. The biggest thing that people get wrong here is that the subconscious mind needs to be "programmed" a certain way. In reality, the subconscious mind is incredibly smart. It knows more about you and your desires than you do tbh. It's like your best friend, it's always trying to get you what you want, and it follows the rules you give it (more on this in a sec).

All you have to do to manifest/ shift is tell your subconscious mind what you want. That's literally it. You can even just say "I want xyz" and forget about it, and you'll get it.

When you ask for something, the 4D receives it and implements it right away. It gives the signal to the 3D to change, and the 3D does. Sometimes it takes a little while for the 3D to change all the way, but that's okay and normal! All you have to do is just wait and know that it's coming, you don't have to worry about doing anything else.

Rules

So the only thing that can get in the way of your manifestation/ shift is you. See, your subconscious mind follows every rule you give it, and humans have a tendency to put a LOT of rules on things, because that's what we're taught to do.

Say you're manifesting something, and it doesn't show up right away (because the 3D needs a little more time). You, being human, take that as a sign that it's not coming at all, and start assuming that something is wrong, or that you're doing something wrong, and you start putting all these rules in place trying to find an answer (think: I have to affirm more, I have to be in the wish fulfilled more, etc). Your subconscious then takes those rules you gave yourself and implements them, and suddenly it's taking longer to get what you want! This triggers a cycle of this (ask for what you want > don't get it right away > look for reasons why > make more rules/ change your rules > repeat) that can last for an infinite amount of time, until you're exhausted and give up entirely!

The key

From this, I hope you understand what you have to do. Literally, throw out your old mindset entirely and stick to these simple rules:

Ask and you shall receive. (Ask in this term could mean affirm, visualize, command your subconscious, etc)

Be patient. It might take some time but it IS coming to you!

Don't give up or accept that you'll never get it. The 3D could be seconds away from giving you what you want!

Most importantly: don't make a ton of rules for yourself!! Enjoy yourself, enjoy your time, be okay with the 3D for a little while because it IS changing in your favor. Don't force yourself to think about it 24/7, don't make yourself affirm every second of the day, etc!! All of that stuff is pointless! It won't get it to you any faster, if anything it'll make you doubt and spiral, which will lead to that cycle of self sabotage again. Just relax and let it happen 💕

And that's literally it!! Don't overcomplicate this, it's so important that you just relax and let it be for a little while.

I tried this during our walk today, and I had 4/4 successful manifestations (see a yellow car, see a green car, get paczki flavors I wanted [the ordering period was over, but I got the flavors I wanted anyways!!], find money [I started overthinking this, but I reminded myself that it was done, and we found it under a trash can of all things lol]) within my specific parameters (within our 30 minute walk to the store)! Literally all I did was say that's what I wanted and trusted my subconscious to give it to me, nothing else.

Outro

In the end, manifestation is not your job to do. Your job as a human being is literally just to enjoy life and ask for what you want. Everything else is your subconscious' job, and you don't have to worry about it beyond that!

Give yourself time and forgive yourself for overcomplicating it, because everyone does and that's normal and okay. We're human. We overthink. We overcomplicate. That's just what we do, and that's okay 🥰

I'm going to be answering asks about this post specifically for the rest of today and tomorrow, and then I'm going to be deleting the Tumblr app and focusing on my journey. I'll likely be posting again for updates and explanations of this once I understand it more deeply, but for now this is all you need to know!

[idonttakethislightly]

So even without having read any X-Men, I know from Pop Cultural Osmosis that a big thing in X-Men is using mutants as a metaphor for various real-life marginalized groups. Here's a good post about one way the mutant metaphor can get weird- it's talking about how the mutant metaphor gets mixed up and diluted when there's so many other things going on in the Marvel 'verses. Also, I don't have one source for this, but many people have remarked on how people with superhuman, possibly dangerous powers, would be a little bit different from real-life groups. In this world, people might be marginalized due to their race/religion/queerness/whatever, but they're still human, right?

I mean, can we really think of a group of people who are dehumanized in part because a few of them have seemingly-superhuman abilities? People who don't just look different, but act different due to the inherent workings of their minds? Is there a group that includes the most powerful man in the world, yet is overall underprivileged? Is anyone in this world actually like that?

...yeah, so I'm saying that even if The Power Fantasy isn't intentionally doing a deconstructive take on, "Autism is my superpower," I'm going to be eyeing it with those kinds of parallels in mind. That kind of analogy is playing with fire in terms of representation, maybe to an even greater extent than mutants as other marginalized groups. Here's an article I like about all the ways that can go badly wrong. Basically, framing neurodivergent characters (autistic or otherwise) as only valuable for their abilities is dehumanizing, as is treating them as essentially different than "normal humans". And here I am, putting a read on The Power Fantasy that boils down to both those things being true- even if Kieron and Caspar aren't intentionally doing those things, I am. That's on me.

But I'm going to hang onto that perspective, at least for a while...

... because I do expect The Power Fantasy to go hard on deconstructing ideas about ability and difference and humanity and so on. And I know it's not the same: autism, the one neurodivergence I'm really familiar with, is a real-life neurological difference, and Atomic powers are a fantasy thing that doesn't seem to imply the same kinds of neurological experiences as autism. But all three Atomic superpowers clearly do things with their minds, not their bodies. And based on what we've seen, I think that shapes them in ways that are similar to autism in some ways, if different in others.

I can't speak for sure about the non-Atomic Superpowers, especially because Eliza and Jacky are still pretty enigmatic. But let's take the three Atomics one by one, and I'll make my case on how they're toying with autistic experiences and tropes:

Masumi: well, she's got an intense passion that's her main way of avoiding massive, uncontrollable breakdowns. Special interests and meltdowns right there. In some ways she's playing into that troubling stereotype of the immature autistic adult who hasn't been pushed hard enough to grow. But she humanizes and justifies that stereotype a little- she's aware she's being coddled to some extent, and there's a very pressing reason why nobody's willing to let her feelings be hurt. I can relate, in a way, to her fear of her own emotions. And it's a subtle detail, but you know how, as the monster manifests underwater, Masumi's own body goes translucent? That's very evocative, in my mind, of this certain dissociative, out-of-body experience.

Etienne: at first glance he's the opposite of the expected autistic experience, considering that he can know anything he wants about nearly anyone's inner thoughts and feelings. But he's got this highly detailed and highly cerebral approach to ethics, similar to a lot of autistic people. And as a younger man, he's a bit conceited about his own ethical smarts- this reduces a little as he goes through life and accumulates regrets, but he still acts decisively and surely making decisions most people would think twice about. People will go back and forth on whether it's accurate to say "autistic people have a particularly strong sense of justice"- my take is that we often do think hard and care a lot about what is right and fair, but that doesn't imply a superior moral compass or anything. And as for Etienne's confidence in his own reasoning, as well as his often-stoic mannerisms- it's easy to overintellectualize when your feelings are just too much to bear. I think Etienne has no choice but to completely detach from his knowledge of what people feel- if he let himself empathize as well as understand, I don't know how anyone could survive that.

Heavy: remember how I alluded to the most powerful man in our world (as in, the richest) being autistic? You know, the guy with an oversized ego and an eagerness to "wave that member of [his] on the world stage" as Etienne put it in Issue #4? Heavy's a little different, with a different kind of power, but I see him as the specific kind of autistic person who's managed to transmute his unhealthy coping mechanisms into semi-effective power moves. He's got an incredibly black-and-white take on morality, and lets his anger run away with him- but he frames those things as heroism, championship of the marginalized, etc. He's also a sensory seeker in a number of ways- sex and drugs are the obvious ones, but also, think about how much he'd have to work out and eat to actually have that body. That's if you're taking his muscles and fat literally and realistically, which of course isn't a given. But it seems pretty in character for Heavy to be using physical distractions to avoid facing how he feels, as many autistics do. But he's reframed those distractions to build up his self-image: that complicated mix of charm and intimidation that I described here. Heavy's got exactly the kind of ego and worldview I'd expect from someone who used to feel marginalized and helpless, and then found the niche that gives him power- that's an autistic-coded cliche in fiction, although usually that character is more nerd than jock. But also we call that an "aspie supremacist" in real life. It's a thing, and a concerning one.

...okay so. I didn't entirely realize, until I typed all this out, that the autistic-coded tropes in The Power Fantasy are mostly really negative ones? And that's assuming they're actually there and I'm not just projecting. (I don't think I am, but of course, I wouldn't think so.) But- I feel like, even as the story sketches out all these worst-case scenarios (maybe even untrue stereotypes) about autistic people, that they have this physical truth to them. Masumi's the one whose physical dissociation from the world is most obvious. But Etienne, who steps from mind to mind, and Heavy, who controls the world without touching it...

I wrote this whole thing about why Heavy caught my eye- it boils down to a physical dissociation from my body. Partly that's gender stuff but it's also very much autism stuff. Lots of people think of autism as a difference in personality or behavior. But while autism does affect those things (not always in stereotypical ways) really it's a difference in processing and perception.

I don't know if the story's ever going to get into this... but I'm curious how Masumi really experiences her monster, how Etienne experiences his psychic knowledge, how Heavy experiences the physical world. Sure, the differences between their minds and most people's is a massive danger to the human race, and I'm interested to see how that shakes out... but how does it feel to be like them? Does it feel anything like being me?

[luckychild]

I remember you talked about what it’d be like if NQK were Keiko’s sibling—I can’t find the post, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot! I imagine NQK would be the more free-spirited one, maybe even the troublemaker between them, kind of like a Costello and Abbott duo! They'd defo put Keiko onto their music 😂

I feel like Kei would be such a good influence on Keiko, helping her loosen up and live a little! I can totally picture Kei and Yusuke skipping school together, only to get scolded by Keiko afterward—so funny--even funnier would be if Kei doesn't encourage Yusuke to skip school but they just end up seeing each other outside school😂😂! I wonder if NQK would ever try to set Keiko and Yusuke up, or if they’d just stay out of it completely?

I’m also curious: what do you think Kei’s new name would be? If the Yukimuras had a second child, what would they name them? I can imagine so many things would be different with Kei around. For instance, how do you think Kei’s first meeting with Yusuke would go? And would Kei still end up transferring schools? I actually think that could play out in a similar way!

Oh gosh, I know that in the current story, NQK’s parents don’t know that this is their second life! So when Kei’s true identity eventually comes to light, how would Keiko feel about that? Would she decide to keep her parents in the dark? It really makes you wonder!

And then there’s the scene (one of my favorite LC scenes ❤️) with Kuwabara after Yusuke’s death—would Keiko be there this time? I can see it both ways. If she isn’t there, it could leave her feeling even lonelier :')

Kei would definitely still want to get powers, and I wonder if they’d encourage Keiko to try as well. I think they’d push her a bit, though I’m not sure if Keiko would go for it. And would Keiko join Kei in Aikido lessons? That seems possible too! What would that mean for tigger and rabbit! Would Keiko be included to NQK otherworldly friend group 🤔

There’s so much potential here! I need to sit down, brainstorm, and start writing these ideas out—I’m so excited to explore this!

I feel like you talked about most of what I said, sorry about that if it is the case! I just needed to let my thoughts out 😅

TBH, I don't remember everything I've said about this subject!

Some spoilers for LC under the cut.

I halfway suspect NQK and Keiko wouldn't get along very well. I can be an aloof know-it-all, and I can be sensitive. Keiko is so smart and competent and kind, I think she might find me a bit abrasive (and I might find her annoying when I can't measure up and inevitably because the 'screw-up' sibling). I might come across as patronizing to her; the sense of "I know something you don't know" radiating off of NQK might grate on Keiko's nerves and render the relationship imbalanced.

To that point, I don't think NQK would let Keiko meet Rabbit or Tigger (though they might not exist in those forms in this world if no one was reincarnated as a character, but rather as just a random person). NQK would spend a lot of time safeguarding secrets from others, Keiko herself included. But I do think NQK would teach Keiko to fight a little more! Maybe not encourage her to get powers, but definitely to fight.

NQK would still probably be really obsessed with sticking to the script in this AU, and I think this would manifest in hardcore Parent-Trap level matchmaking shenanigans, trying to force Keiko and Yusuke to fall in love. All at once, NQK would be both overbearing AND distant, a baffling and likely infuriating combination that could have unexpected negative consequences on the subjects of NQK's meddling...

When NQK's secrets come out, I think they ease some of the strain in the relationship between the sisters. I think Keiko (feeling protective of their parents) might encourage NQK to come clean, though. Being kept in the dark hurt Keiko in some ways, so I don't think she'd want history to repeat with their parents.

Oh, inspiration moment: Keiko gets cut with the sword (in lieu of Botan in LC) and develops demon powers that way! Or she develops dream powers after having multiple prophetic dreams (this is canon, and I used that to justify NQK's dream powers in LC). Either way, I don't think NQK would plan for this to happen, but it would be a real headache (or another point of jealousy) for NQK if it did!

For irony, I think NQK's name in this AU might be 'Sara,' which can be spelled with a character that means 'good luck.' Considering this sounds like a pretty normal American name (and a feminine one, at that, with no easy masculine or gender neutral nickname), NQK would probably hate it! :D Haha!

There's definitely a lot to explore here, that's for sure, and I'm super happy to read your thoughts!

[youremyheaven]

hiiii i just started my rahu md moon ad and have been reading that it's absolutely awful across the board and i am nervous as hell 💀 do you have any anecdotes about this period? (i have 1h gemini moon and 10h aquarius rahu) ty <3

I don't think any mahadasha or antardasha has to be more horrible than others?? There are people who die during their Venus dashas yk (I mention Venus specifically bc it's supposed to be the most auspicious dasha)

Ofc how it manifests depends on your placements blah blah but I assure you, no matter what your placements are, if you want to do well in life, you can.

This is not to say that suffering can be avoided. It can't be. Challenges are always going to be a part of life. But there is a life beyond them as well. If you observe yourself during the course of a day, do you notice how many different thoughts, feelings etc cross your mind and how many different experiences you end up having? Dashas are like that, just because a dasha is described as being difficult, it does not mean you'll be in torturous pain every single day until it's over.

Also the idea of "difficult" is very relative and varies from person to person and objectively speaking there is nothing that can't be overcome. There's a guy I went to college with, who is going through his Rahu mahadasha atm and he flunked manyyyy classes and he has to retake and pass all of them to get his degree and then go through other procedures as well. all of this sounds very doable to me. He just has to study and pass exams. But as of this year, he hasn't finished writing his remaining papers 😭😭😭and some of them are from like 2nd year of college, so he's already tried to pass them like 4 times by now 😭😭😭 obviously I know that not everyone is academically gifted yada yada but he is a smart guy (Jyeshta in big 3) and all he has to do is pass (i.e no one's asking him to get an A) but for whatever reason, he's struggling to do so ://// and being a guy in an Indian household, the pressure to earn and look after your family is immense , so all of its taking a toll on him 💀

But like, is he not, the source of his own suffering?? Even if he can't finish this degree, there are a million other ways to make money, so like 😬😬😬

There are people who don't have a quarter of his intellect but are finishing up their Master's OR making bank,,, so if you want to do something, you absolutely can do it.

Again, there can be 9283773 different obstacles in your way and things may not be easy but do not underestimate the sheer power of human will and self belief. Don't hand over your destiny to astrology. The power is in your hands. You can make anything out of yourself.

Blessed be. Amen.

[tadpolesonalgae]

i've read the last chapter twice and i honestly thought things would go a different way? idk i thought even if running away didn't work with the magic that maybe she got at least a bit of a backbone, it kinda feels like running to eris and have all that guilt on top of the one she already had was all for nothing. i wanna root for her but at a certain point she's really doing all this to herself. i thought the reunion would warrant some well deserved anger from both parts like a climax of sorts, i guess it did it was just more depressing and defeated than the anger i was expecting. kinda wish we'd seen azriel or even mor tell the others too

and i'm sorry but how did she pick the weirdest way to off herself 😭 like there are so many easier ways, even just with the arrow just stab it through your heart, she definitely wouldn't hit azriel like that and she remembered the wards but didnt think to mind speak to call rhys and feyre? like i get she was in shock but i just dont know how she's so smart but keeps making the dumbest decisions. i also thought the prophecy meant she'd kill him with her powers not just this

i'm sorry if this sounds a bit critical, the chapter was beautifully written as always, you're really amazing at conveying emotion, the reason it's so frustrating to see her stay stuck in her self pity is because of how well you write it but i just thought there would be more happening when she came back - 🧶

Okay…I have some thoughts drifting around in my head so I hope I’ll express them in a coherent fashion 😬😭🧡💛 (though this did get a little long, sorry 🫣🫂)

So, first of all, I think some people probably were expecting anger or some kind of emotional detonation, but in my experience anger and frustration take a lot of energy to sustain and I don’t believe reader—where she was at that moment—was capable of directing her resentment anywhere but herself? She’s exhausted from being alive; she doesn’t have the energy nor the instinct to become angry with Azriel or any of the IC.

I know this is a fanfic, so it would be quite simple to have her ‘fixed’ after visiting Eris, but that scene was supposed to be the first moment of catharsis, where reader is able to physically exhaust a portion of her magic that has been straining on her. It’s mentioned (I think in acomaf, and we also see it with Nesta in acosf) that Rhys has to constantly have magic in use to relieve the pressure it puts on him or else it will drive him insane, so reader needed to have some kind of release moment since her magic wasn’t able to manifest correctly.

I’d also like to mention that I think it might seem underwhelming or anticlimactic in some lights because it is frustrating in a way to see someone continuously be unable to stand up for themselves and just kind of melt into a puddle on the floor? Particularly if they aren’t entirely deserving of certain behaviours and it would be simpler to fix if the person just took a stand and stopped muddling about the place 😭

‘kinda wish we'd seen azriel or even mor tell the others too’

With this, do you mean that reader ran away to Eris, or that she tried to end herself, because I’m pretty sure both of those will be spoken about in chapter 16 if that’s any consolation! 🧡💛

Okay, onto the method of suicide! (Yes, I acknowledge it was a weird choice, certainly a more unintentionally flamboyant approach)

So, since she’s fae (I can’t actually remember if decapitation works?) I’m pretty sure ash is the only thing that can actually kill her? Which limited the options quite significantly? I suppose she could have taken a large dose of faebane to reduce her healing and then ended herself in a more ‘human’ (?) way?

Personally though, there were a couple a reasons I wanted to use the crossbow and arrow!

First of all, using a crossbow, letting reader set it up, knowing she just has to knock into a book and then it will be out of her hands? It’s passive. She’s again letting things be taken out of control—I didn’t want her first moments of real autonomy to be trying to end herself (though that might have been very impactful for a different direction of the story) (I’m also not counting her giving away the earrings since that wasn’t something she did entirely for herself)

Secondly, the Crossbow itself was lying inside the House of Wind, along with various other weapons and blades that the IC are just too accustomed to—I want a specific reason for the IC to understand what sort of problems are happening with reader. While I don’t feel it’s expressly their fault (again, I feel it’s passive, not active—they didn’t intend for their distance to have a negative impact on her, though it did anyway) they will feel responsible that she used something of theirs to hurt herself with.

Then, Eris was the one who gave reader the ash arrow and I would like to have a reason to elaborate on what’s going on in the background (which I’m scared I won’t do well 🫣)

Admittedly this is a slightly strange reason, but I think from reader’s perspective and without being able to understand az’s side, he’s seemed quite cold/distant from her due to external pressures and I wanted this to serve as a reminder that despite how bad things are right now he does still care about her? Not romantically or anything obviously, but he doesn’t want any of the people he cares about to be hurt where he can help it so this felt like a good circumstance that would set their reconciliation (not reconciliation, but their distance closing I guess?) in motion and give them a reason to actually pay attention to one another and figure out what’s going on

(Lastly, this one is more an allegory than anything, but being shot through the heart by an arrow is usually something done by Cupid. So revolving around her love for Azriel and how it’s kind of messing her up? This is definitely a more indulgent reason though 😭)

For the mind speaking thing and why she didn’t call out for Rhys and Feyre—I’m not sure if I expressed it incorrectly but reader was suffering through an onslaught of pretty debilitating inclinations revolving around ending herself, and then the solution to those urges was stripped away from her when Azriel took the arrow instead so she’s having to grasp with the fact she’s still alive, she’s now responsible for murdering someone rhys, Feyre etc. love dearly, she’s killed someone she loves dearly, while also dealing with small glimpses from the war—she isn’t in the right headspace to think outside of those problems.

Also, I don’t feel daemati abilities are explained very clearly, but in my mind Azriel, Cassian, Mor etc. who aren’t daemati would be familiar enough with it (through speaking with Rhys) that they know roughly where to push within their mental expanse to search for a connection point. With reader who has only been fae for two years, has little to no experience with speaking mind to mind—I don’t feel it would be at all possible for her to figure out how to call for someone mentally when she can barely control her own magic and when neither Rhys nor Feyre would have a reason to be checking on her mentally when as far as they know she’s safe and with Az.

With the prophecy/vision that Elain got, all she explicitly sees is Azriel on the floor with blood around him then a flash of green. He looks dead but that’s not something Elain can determine just through visuals just yet—no, Azriel is not dead, but he comes close enough to imitate it!

‘i'm sorry if this sounds a bit critical, the chapter was beautifully written as always, you're really amazing at conveying emotion, the reason it's so frustrating to see her stay stuck in her self pity is because of how well you write it but i just thought there would be more happening when she came back - 🧶’

I think it was critical but I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all and really appreciate it!! 🧡💛 It wasn’t malicious or mean and I really enjoy hearing your opinions on cbmthy’s storyline because it helps me adapt and shape the direction of the plot—seriously, I love getting to hear your thoughts, thank you so much for taking the time to articulate them, it’s such a massive aid 😭🧡💛 I hope none of my replies felt too harsh or absolute, and I would love to know if you have any other thoughts on the storyline!! 🧡💛

[gojonanami]

lmaooo I’m starting to feel bad for prof geto — also it’s funny because there was so many people who were just doubled down on prof geto and now everyone is like yuta 💕🥹 which I’m glad for!! lmao you make fair points — I mean the point is for it to be a mistake! But it’s also understandable to try something even if it doesn’t ultimately work out — because you really don’t know until you try. he also has a lot more work because the last dept head fucked things up but honestly poor yuta is caught in the crossfire of this situation — he will have his own happy ending though 🥹💕

Look, I want to defend Professor Geto.

I think Professor Geto's actions make sense. They do. And I think this chapter prevents Professor Geto from turning into a Gary Stu.

It's hard to maintain a long-term relationship, and it is not the same as having a relationship in person. It is not. Having a video call with someone over dinner is not the same thing as seeing them in person. There is a reason why the people you're closest to physically and geographically end up being your closest friends. For instance, one of my friends from school who I was not that close to but still friends with ended up becoming one of my best friends because we attended the same university. And another friend of mine I now barely talk to because we live continents and time zones away and because the rhythms of our lives are so different and we are now out of sync. It didn't happen because I didn't want to be friends with her, but simply because ten to fifteen minute calls could never equate to meeting up with someone in person every day and sending hours talking to them or just being in their presence. I am getting off track now, I know, but the point still stands: given that long-term relationships are not the same thing as having a relationship in person, and given that you love that person and want them to experience the maximum amount of happiness possible, if it comes at the cost of your own unhappiness, does that not make sense?

Yuta is a new character that we don't have an established relationship with. Fine, he is nice, I will concede. And he is nice to her. But to play the devil's advocate, he seizes upon the opportunity of her having a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend. He pays attention to her phone calls, subtly presses her about her boyfriend, and positions himself in her life in such a way as to function as a quasi-replacement for her boyfriend. For her birthday, he does not offer to throw her a birthday party with the Student Committee or ask her about her family or her friends. Instead, he wants her to spend the day with him and with him only, and while that is not strictly stated, such a reading can still be read into and made (I don't have the time to isolate sections of the text currently).

Coming back to Professor Geto, though. Professor Geto is young, smart, accomplished, and handsome, with phenomenal career growth. Despite his young age, he is successful. He is influential. He has published countless articles and books, given lectures, travelled to conferences and other universities, and functioned as a poster boy for both the university he was employed at and for the field of ethics at large, which is in desperate need of such poster boys to attract interest and even students. While it is not explicitly stated (perhaps for reasons of my selfishness), I am assuming that he works at a very, very good university, too. He is a fantastic man! A Prince Charming embodied and reinvented for our age and for the female gaze. Now, for such a character to exist, he has to have at least some flaws, no? And procrastination is believable. Look, I am using the term procrastination because, in his behaviour, I can recognise a pattern that is manifest in me and some of the people around me. Social relationships are tough to maintain sometimes, even with the people you love more than anything, and work is often all-consuming (especially for someone like Professor Geto). Sometimes, stress eats away at you and worms into your mind, and you feel an urge to delay, procrastinate, focus on something else, stare, and debate, and this just causes more and more time to pass. Once a specific socially accepted passage of time for replying has passed, you almost feel like you can't send a message at that point, as you've been an utter imbecile for failing to do so beforehand. And if you're working in the field of ethics, it may bring with it a certain sense of indecisiveness (or, perhaps, it attracts personalities who tend to overthink – a double-edged sword of sorts). What is the best outcome in a situation that does not favour you? What do you owe to yourself and to others? Is what you owe yourself more important than what you owe others? What does it mean to have a happy life? Is having a successful career more rewarding than having a successful relationship? Is it fair to calculate the chance that if one is an attractive character with an amiable character, they will be able to find a sustaining relationship for them later down the line, while in the world of work, age does play a part and employers spend time looking at employment history and any potential gaps? Adding to that, is there a point in snatching career opportunities, and should they come at the cost of personal happiness? And speaking from personal experience, sometimes, it feels like delaying, and not sleeping to the point of utter exhaustion will alleviate the situation as it reduces you to a state of numbness. If you're a perfectionist, too, crafting the perfect response or apology can be a horribly difficult task, and while I am lucky that my sister entertains my twenty messages of 'Does this email sound okay?' Not everyone has that, and unfortunately, as you age, due to social perceptions/constructions/deviations in schedules/etc., you find yourself having less and less people to whom you can write fifty messages regarding a situation like 'Did I misunderstand this message?' or 'If she just replied using an emoji, does that mean that she doesn't like me as much as a friend anymore?'

I think the way Professor Geto acted makes sense. Just because he thought that he was behaving according to a mindset wherein he prioritised the future and the minimisation of pain for his partner does not necessarily equate to him being a bad partner.

And the infatuation with Yuta is, in part, due to: 1) recency bias; 2) the fact that we haven't seen as much of his character, psychology, or weaknesses (which is fine; he's a side character; not every character in a series, novel, or whatever will get the same treatment); and 3) his presentation and manifestation of the self in the world in which he manufactures an image of himself that is favourable in part to curry favour with the woman he is attracted to.

I would just like to add that I do not think that Yuta is a 'bad guy'. I just think that his character can be read in more complex ways, as can Professor Geto's.

I firmly believe that with the way in which this series is unfolding, an ending wherein Professor Geto gets back together with his girl narratively makes sense.

Also, other points to consider are: 1) She sought out Yuta's presence as a replacement for Professor Geto, and in her mind, considering the connection and sheer attraction that she harbours for Professor Geto, Yuta will inevitably be compared to Professor Geto in almost every way; 2) Relationships manifest in different ways, and in the case of our protagonist, in my reading of her, for her, it is not just the spiritual, soulmate-like, friendship-level connection that is important, but also the element of intense attraction, too. She did not feel that with Yuta. She did not feel this overwhelming, intense, possessing, all-consuming, delightful, and powerful connection, attraction, and pull towards Yuta. Rather, it was a feeling of comfort and, in some sense, convenience, a recognition of him harbouring affections towards her and that being a convenient outlet for distracting herself from her lingering (and still very powerful) feelings for Professor Geto. As a reference, I would like to draw attention to the beginning of the chapter, when she is trying to find a way of occupying herself by joining the Student Union; her entering a relationship with Yuta could be considered in a similar light.

Overall, then, I would like to strongly emphasise that there is a strong case to be made for the overseeing of narrative progression in such a way that it guarantees Professor Geto reuniting with his girl.

okay this is amazing and I have no notes 💯

I really did have this chapter to prevent prof geto from becoming too perfect — he needs to make mistakes and he needs to have flaws, otherwise he’s just too good and no one is like that.

yuta truly does have reader’s best interests at heart — but is he taking advantage? A little bit — he is putting himself there in a position where he and reader could be taken advantage of by the other. but we’ll see that all unfold in part five.

narratively, it is correct that reader and prof geto end up together and they are supposed to!! that’s the point. this is a period for them to realize what their lives are like without the other after experiencing what is it like to be together 🥹💕

[closedshop]

Life is hard being one of the few people who actually somewhat likes the current enstars event story despite the (few imo) ooc instances or very discomforting moments. Ones that have been the reason of deep rooted inner turmoil for many.

A lot of fans claiming that some moments are ooc when they literally are not, like people forgetting Aira is dishonest and a tsun and she’s stressed of course she’d be rejecting Hiiro’s hand and lap offers that’s literally a core part of their dynamic but also Aira as a whole that she’s snappy and reactive and cruel at times. It’s even told to us that Aira makes sure to be extra sweet for Kohaku, something that isn’t Fake, but still purposefully done. And it’s cute because they’re both that so sweet towards each other. If Hiiro hadn’t said anything in that moment or if she hadn’t just been turned down herself, I’m sure she would’ve slipped her hand into his own for comfort in a heartbeat. Aira is a bittersweet girl; in an opposite way to Kohaku. Her childishness manifests differently to Kohaku’s own.

Producers of certain characters are saying their favorites have been ooc, but don’t go on to explain how exactly, or in what scenes. I dabble in and love Crazy:B but I am only ALKALOIDp, so I wouldn’t know… Rinne’s been said to have went too far with some of his schemes like the laxative thing which is like. Um. Well. I suppose he is trying to do everything he can to win, despite what he learned at the MDM; Rinne is still somewhat ruthless. He seems to still have quite the vendetta against how ALKALOID is treated by higher-ups and painted to the masses in comparison to his own unit. I thought the way he feels is pretty interesting. Generally, I’ve kind of loved Rinne in this story.

Although… everyone does feel a little off and I don’t know why. I admit that. Maybe, it’s because they are so shaken and tense.

Now I’m going to talk about a topic I’ve only really spoken of on twitter, one that had my initial reaction being a stomachache and solely negative thoughts, until I started thinking about it more.

I was afraid of how they’d portray the Amagi village at first, the possibility of them treating the Ainu without respect and making it stereotyped. So I was surprised by all the research they’d put in, and the parts of the story used to even go against some of these. However, the execution of this, the amount of microaggressions spewed by one character only and the educating needing to be done for them… I was happy they weren’t babying her for the ignorance coming out of her with their words nor their tone, instead telling her how wrong it is and how it hurt to hear; the fact she should know better at her age. How she’d immediately double down and do it again was a strange decision, but I suppose internalized biases aren’t immediately unlearned. She grew up in a society in which it’s all too common to have such beliefs (the world in general is that way, I think. I’m not implying “asian people don’t know what’s right and wrong 🥺” as they are not infants—but racism is something that is ingrained into many from birth, but can be unlearned if one cares to. Racism that even the best people can contribute to, without meaning to; anyone is capable of offense.) She is terminally online and stated to not be very smart. You can tell it doesn’t come from a place of maliciousness even if it makes you grip your thigh so hard, to read. Especially when you love her.

The rest of her unit seem sick of it. Which is sad—the way their dear friend is saying such things when they are All marginalized to some extent, including her, is bound to hurt. But it could’ve been made one of those situations where a marginalized person is made to hold someone’s hand & explain to them why their views are bad like one would to a child, with an unlimited amount of patience. I’m glad it isn’t.

The feelings of brown and indigenous fans are justified and sad to see. I have also seen people asking others to block them for not seeing it as a completely negative addition, which is fair, but one cannot speak for everyone. Especially when it didn’t come out of nowhere, there’s even Ainu fans who are thankful for their struggles being addressed within such a big IP. I keep having to hear “how can a person who’s gotten bullied for being hafu and struggled with it so much be racist? It doesn’t make sense!” over and over again like a broken record, as if it’s something that’s impossible in the real world when mixed people can be racist, have been racist. It won’t cancel anything out, being bullied doesn’t mean you can’t be ignorant. It’s intersectionality 101.

It could’ve been handled with more tact or be done more tastefully. Akira has a really direct approach to addressing things, shoving prejudiced views (racism, transphobia, particularly transmisogyny) into the players’ faces to be able to then explain to them why it’s bad like the morals being taught in a kid’s show, and it can be a very uncomfortable experience. But honestly, the target audience for Ensemble Stars partially needed it to get people to reflect on their internal biases, such beliefs are rampant in JP spaces, called out by Mayoi himself in the same story. Countless cosplayers still partake in brownface to this day, and fancontent of the Amagi village is done with stereotypes and a lack of care enough for one to notice, ones that are so similar to the views being judged in the story. But it’s also prevalent in ENG spaces too, at times, I won’t pretend it isn’t. I see it in many interpretations of their hometown or implying that because they are indigenous they’d be more prone to engage in incest when they can just… do it without dragging their race into it. There’s even comments about the Amagis made that seem innocuous but hold a lot of weight, particularly ones regarding their intelligence, or their hygiene, etc.

Aira has always been the audience stand-in from the start, as well as the type of girl to say things without thinking, as much as it makes sense nobody would like to have such a thing rubbed into their face or coming out of their favourite character’s mouth, imagining how they would react to them if they knew them in real life and being crushed by the thought. I see it less as her being given the trait of “racist” to make her a worse person, and more utilizing her as a narrative tool… but we are all entitled to our own feelings about it. I think she can do better. I really am not against it being addressed. One cannot expect people to not feel sick being exposed to micro (or even macro) aggressions, of course.

Some, including those directly affected, say they are happy for it to be spoken of rather than not brought up at all. Others think that it shouldn’t have been due to the fact they knew such serious topics wouldn’t be handled the way they’d like for it to. They ask, think of her fans! Which is fair. But this is something that has occured before, even it not so egregiously. Previously, she was given no consequences for it. She’s always been a little cruel.

I don’t know how people think ignoring or pretending certain things in the content they like didn’t happen will do any good. I thought we were meant to be critical of what we consume. I too kind of wish it wasn’t there at all, especially coming out of the mouth of one of my top three favourites, but whether it’s necessary or unnecessary is up to debate. I think they could have made it an NPC instead, as many argue. People think this is a new thing and that’s in part why they claim it was a bad writing choice to make her seem like a bad person so late into the game (4 years) but Aira has made tasteless remarks in the past, too? I used to believe it could’ve reflected the views of the authors, it made me uncomfortable too. Image not created by my hands but essentially:

People are not obligated to love her, but I don’t think I will stop loving her because of this. I don’t think this is a necessary, “realistic” flaw to add to your main characters, ones that are meant to be likeable, but this behaviour isn’t out of the blue. I do wish she could’ve just gone and been normal about it and had some internal monologue about how wrong she was. There was many possible ways to execute it.

All of those thoughts aside, there’s a lot of scenes & aspects of this story that I like a lot like the entirety of part 1 and bits and pieces of part 2, though part 3 is not out yet… It’s nice to get to see characters who don’t or hardly ever or have even never interacted before speak to each other, as well as Rinne and Aira’s dynamic as narrative foils being addressed again since it’s something I’ve been interested in for years, I really like the peeks of the past when it comes to Rinne’s early idol days and I also love AkanP. Pathetic butch alcohol producer. The Kaname mentions make me crazy for multiple reasons, especially including the fact both HiMERU & Tatsumi didn’t really know him as a person. I’m not sure how to feel about the whole ES colonizing plot point that has been set up since SS… ES really is evil. Well, it always has been; but I haven’t seen any Eichi fans talking about that. Nobodys talking about the Eichi idol colonialism. Which is interesting. I love my princess, but I still kind of have to kill him for the millionaire heir who is engaging in evil capitalist endeavours thing. I like watching Tatsumi be stressed out. I like alkakurei. There’s been so many heartfelt moments I’ve loved, and so, so many silly ones, too? It hasn’t even entirely felt like “fluff” because there are things being set up & stakes and stuff. As a “finale” would entail. I suppose some expect more grandeur and that’s fair in fact always wish for more. I took ten million screenshots, some posted some kept away in my pocket and stayed up to read livetweets both times it was occuring so far and was vibrating the whole time. A lot of my thoughts I kept to myself honestly! There’s been interesting insights …

I understand why people are very upset, or think it isn’t of enough substance, or that it just has yaoibait which I guess is fair due to the fact that Akira even managed to slip mpreg in as he always does.

Also, not every issue between every character can be addressed in one story, despite this being meant to bring a sense of closure. There is an entire third part we don’t have yet, and I still want to see it! I want to know what the fuck is up with that third baby Amagi. And I’m thankful nothing is VR. It definitely has more substance than ALKALOID’s climax, that’s for sure.

[dualiti-real]

OC-tober Day 5: Relationships

I was going to do a chart but I have too many characters and I haven't introduced them all yet so instead I'll take this as an opportunity to introduce two OCs at once, my two absolutely terrible guys, Laurel and his husband Faust!

(warning for brief mentions of mind control in the context of Laurels powers, lemme know if there's anything else in here anyone would want a warning about that I missed)

Laurel is the closest thing Dualiti really has to a villain, as mentioned in his neocities blurb. but due to Dualiti's very static state of being, he's mostly been bothering the same places and people for the last 1000 years, the only thing changing being who's being sent to fight him. either way, he is extremely content with the status quo he's in, where he has a lot of control in his little bubble and can do basically whatever he feels like. He and Vex have a very complicated rivalry, but that's a whole different quadrant- *I AM IMMEDIATELY DRAGGED OFFSTAGE BY SECURITY*

His husband is Faust, a mad scientist who is the absolute worst. just about everyone who meets him is immediately repulsed by his personality, which is "I am smarter than everyone else and anyone who claims otherwise is stupid and wrong, even when I am actively failing at something". somehow, though, Laurel is absolutely charmed by his cringefail demeanor. it also helps that Faust is equally head over heels for him. they are both completely terrible but I guess somehow they cancel eachother out, so that's nice? I'm glad they managed to find eachother.

Laurel Fun Facts:

Though Laurel looks like just a really tall elf, (he is 7'6". elves in the universe of Dualiti do not get that tall ever.) he's actually a sentient magical organism that is puppeting a corpse to function as his main body. that organism is the slime, which manifests on his body as the hair coming from his head.

when Laurel (the magic organism) consumes matter, it produces more slime, which can be used as structures, weapons, and as means of controlling others.

He can make hunters by basically infecting people with himself, (someone ingests the slime, it gets into an injury, ect.) and puppeting them from the inside. once he's infected someone, they're basically already on his network, and he can step into the controls any time. (you know, like vris- *I am once again dragged offstage*) he doesn't use it a lot unless he has to, though. he likes the challenge of convincing people to work for him.

(also just to get it out there because I mentioned Laurels powers and I want to make it clear that, no, Faust isn't being mind controlled or anything. he just encountered someone who actually genuinely liked him and went full Gomez Addams about it)

He is very much inspired by my love of classic disney villains. always love a character who is awful and is having so much fun with it. Shoutout to my girl Maleficent she inspired SO much about Laurel without me even realizing it.

as mentioned, he and vex have sort of a weird rival thing going on. do they hate eachother? are they best friends? something else? fucking. I don't know man.

(shout out to Hark a Vagrant by Kate Beaton for the reference)

you can tell thats old art because laurel doesn't have his cape yet. anyway, now we're moving on to

Faust Fun Facts:

Faust is very much inspired by characters like Doctor Robotnik, or Berdly of Deltarune. basically characters that are very confident in being super smart even when they probably aren't actually.

this isn't to say he's bad at what he does, he's really good at making robots and doomsday devices and the like- he's just bad at realizing that maybe he shouldn't keep putting in the function for them to explode randomly or at the slightest interference. high intelligence, fucking AWFUL wisdom.

He and Laurel met when Faust accidentally crashed his egg-mobile type thing into Laurels mansion and DIRECTLY onto the table Laurel was having tea at.

it's honestly a miracle Laurel thought he was funny and didn't end up killing him.

Faust does smoke, even though as a hunter/undead he doesn't really like, get any of what you would get from a cigarette. old habits die hard. (maybe he just likes the taste.)

as mentioned he is absolutely hopeless over Laurel. Laurel could literally do anything and Faust would think it was great. thankfully Laurel likes him just as much right back, which means that Faust can fuck up his evil schemes as much as possible and Laurel will not even care. he loves his silly little idiot so much.

[litlunacy]

32 and 45 for the mc ask game! (for as many of your apprentices as you want to answer for)

I answered for all six of them this time!

32. Does their use of/skill in magic differ from canon? How so?

Well, the canon magic system seems to be a kind of soft one, right? Sometimes it's as simple as willing a thing to happen, like thinking of fire and summoning a flame, and sometimes whole entire rituals are required. There are also different classes of it, like green magic, alchemy, blood magic, etc. Also, everybody's magic has a different feel to it, and the Apprentice can pick up on it. So with that in mind:

Ximena's magic feels like a cool, gentle breeze, but can come off a terrifying gale if she's mad enough. It manifests itself in pale, silvery wisps when unfocused. And since her aunt was all green magic, and her dad is ridiculously powerful in the abstract formation of will, Ximena has a very good grasp on both. She is a powerful magician, and she often uses magic to do everyday things.

Lilith's magic feels very sharp, like a whipcrack. She has a very tight control on it and is extremely powerful. She knows this, and she will use it to her advantage. Don't ask her to do green magic though, plants aren't her thing.

Zuri's magic feels like...nothingness, emptiness, a cold dark void. And it kinda frightens her a little. It also gets away from her sometimes, especially if something happens to break her concentration. She has a lot of power that she doesn't really know what to do with. She does better if she has a partner to form a circle with.

Lorica's magic feels playful, like butterfly kisses and playing tag. She's a good magician, but she works better with a focus. That's why she keeps spare crystals in her bag.

Rajani's magic feels like spring, green and alive. Which makes sense, as their focus is mostly on green magic and healing. They do like doing stuff the old-fashioned way though, so you won't catch them using magic for most daily chores and stuff.

Bellamy's magic feels warm and bright, like a sunny summer day. He's a bit better at reading the cards than he is at magic, mostly because his attention tends to wander. He's something of a Jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none in magic; he can do a little healing, he can do green magic, he can manifest his will if he really tries, he works with a focus if he remembers to bring one. Don't ask him to do the fancy rituals or alchemy though, that's way too complicated. He does become a lot more powerful when when casting with a partner who can help him concentrate. Oh, and he can talk to animals. Which is just a very normal thing to him that always astounds everyone else.

45. Are they more street smart or book smart? Something else?

Ximena is a bit of both. She reads a lot and is highly intelligent, and she can navigate a lot of situations purely by bullshitting her way through them. She prefers to sit back and observe as long as possible before acting in most situations, or just cast a cloaking spell and dip if something is too much.

Lilith is book smart, but she's not exactly street smart. She does, however, have a very authoritative presence and can be extremely menacing when she chooses, and uses it to her advantage. If she starts speaking very slowly and precisely with that little smile, run.

Zuri is extremely book smart, but has no street smarts whatsoever. People are terrifying and confusing and why do strangers talk to her and can she please just go home now???

Lorica is a mix. She's well-read, but not a genius, and she can navigate most situations by staying calm and listening. Politeness is key.

Rajani is more street smart. They are intelligent, but they prefer reading people to reading books. They're also quite good at smoothing things over with little distractions. "Oh, let me buy you a drink, that's a lovely bracelet, hey did you hear about this..."

Bellamy is...neither. He's not an idiot by any means, but he tends to just float through life by being a good dude who smiles and laughs a lot. People like him. He likes people. And if he screws up, he apologizes. It works, at least most of the time.