#behead the monarch

[the-meme-monarch]

"fathers will do anything except go to therapy" factoid actually just clerical error, fathers consider 'making their daughter(s) a captive audience to listen to their problems the moment they're old enough to comprehend what 'a problem' is, to be therapy

[cinnamonest]

hope u and your loved ones are okay :( wishing you and everyone affected the best ❤️

Sorry for the delay in responses and posting, I was in the hospital (again) (and unrelated to the flood, just an issue that hadn't subsided from the last visit last week).

If you have money to give I would very much prefer it go to the people who need it much more than I ever could, there's donation links here.

To be honest I am not okay on a psychological level. The whole thing has me so angry.

Now that I'm back to normal and out and about, I've heard so many horror stories from the grapevine. So many people are missing, and at this point families are having to accept that missing people aren't coming back if they haven't already.

The financial aid is a disgrace, and as aforementioned, the FEMA people are impeding help and otherwise just loafing around. We just want them gone.

Then as for the two people whose literal job is caring for this country — POTUS said like a day after the incident, on camera, "they're happy, they've gotten everything they need" while we still had people dying of dehydration on their rooftops and countless families left homeless.

Harris showed up, took a publicity photoshoot holding some donation items, then left to go drink beer on an uppity talk show like she's channelling the spirit of Nero himself.

This has been one of the most grotesque acts of US presidential negligence and dishonesty in some time, and once more of these people start getting internet access again I have no doubt a lot more will be exposed.

Now the people are just left to pick up the pieces by themselves and start over. The media has largely moved on already, and every major news outlet has drastically downplayed just how bad the destruction is. Some people on social media are celebrating it. I had to unsubscribe from an environment conservation group I followed because they published a newsletter literally lying about FEMA. It all feels so deliberate.

Bush was dragged through the mud for the rest of his career for his response to Katrina in 2005, yet he did far more and responded far more quickly. Our current leaders can wait 48 hours to acknowledge the situation, do essentially nothing, and no one seems to care, no one is holding them accountable.

I'm just very angry and having trouble moving on with life. Those two have already brought so much suffering to my community the past few years, then this happens and they can't even do a good job of pretending to care.

And I can't really do anything about any of it, which makes it worse, it festers. This bitterness is a feeling I would not wish on anyone.

[weezerlvr228]

evil brian…

[coreancitizen]

"I wanted to stop beheading people." "Go ahead and try me." Offers her neck, which leads Gon to plant a soft kiss on it. "Hey, that's—" "I'm sure I told you that you could be beheaded for addressing me like that." "Stop being ridiculous."

[kazz-brekker]

accidentally derailed dinner preparations for several minutes tonight by reading sir walter raleigh's wikipedia page out loud to my sister while she was supposed to be making a frittata and startling her so much with the revelation that he was beheaded on the orders of king james that she forgot to preheat the oven

[oriocookie]

see like despite the whole entire angsty shitshow that was good omens season 2, i am SO GLAD that the plot happened exactly how it did. because for the past four years i have been desperately fistfighting anyone who calls good omens queerbaiting. at least now i can rest.

[amalgamationillustration]

My neurodivergent ass wants to wear headphones like this all the time but my also neurodivergent ass hates not being aware of my surroundings 24/7 in case there's a noise like the cat getting stuck somewhere or my partner falling in the shower or someone breaking in or if I'm outdoors someone following me or calling me or doing something suspicious. I want to block out all external noise and enjoy my silly little me time in my music or podcast world but I also don't want to leave myself open to not hearing danger or emergencies, you feel me?

[tossawary]

Rewatching some of "Merlin" again and... I really love worldbuilding where I'm not sure the creators were thinking through all the implications. Like, the show opens with the King overseeing the execution of a man, Thomas Collins, who used magic (not even to commit actual harm as far as we know) and the crowd is dead silent during Uther's solemn anti-magic speech. Then they GASP in horror and disgust when the poor guy gets beheaded offscreen, and they remain dead silent as Uther's speech continues, declaring a festival to celebrate 20 years since the Great Dragon was captured and sorcery outlawed. And then no one cheers or even SMILES about this.

Like, okay, the people of the past were not always chill or excited by public executions, because historical people all around the world and across time are not a monolith. There have always been people who hated them. But there have definitely been points in time where some people viewed public executions as good entertainment for the whole family and/or have reveled in the righteousness of bloodshed.

A lot of these people must have lived through the Purge: if they actually, you know, believed in and supported Uther's anti-magic philosophies, you'd think that you'd see a few cheers? Maybe some nodding? You'd kind of think that the people who would actually show up to public executions are those who share Uther's radical, violent beliefs, but no... the camera doesn't show a single smile or nod in the gathered crowd. This is Fantasy Medieval Land and no one is cheering the public execution. Okay.

You could say, "Well, maybe Uther is just a sour grape who doesn't like people talking when he's talking. Maybe Uther takes his campaign against magic dead seriously and this extends to him wanting a solemn, respectful atmosphere at all of his public executions of sorcerers." Sure. There are a LOT of guards in the crowd, possibly a leftover habit from the early days of the Purge, when there were more people who were presumably Not Okay with Uther's sudden change in policy.

But again, even if this obviously tyrannical King really doesn't like any cheering or smiling, no one is even nodding along to his speech. It doesn't look like any of these watching people wholeheartedly agree with his anti-magic beliefs. They're not happy about the death of a sorcerer. The division in ideology between Uther and the lower classes here appears to be a very, VERY stark line.

And then Uther declares a FESTIVAL! Uther is smiling! There's a happy tone in Uther's voice, like he wants the people to be happy about the absence of magic, and I can't see why he'd be against cheering here. He wants to celebrate!

But NO ONE cheers. No one smiles. Like, yes, this crowd seems to mostly contain the lower classes, who are probably not going to be feasting in the King's hall later, but a festival implies to me that there's going to be more of a city-wide celebration. That the King is going to provide some amount of free food and entertainment to his people, give out bread and hire some musicians or something, that there's going to be some sort of relief from work for a day, and maybe other charitable givings that boost a monarch's popularity.

But NO ONE cheers. And, again, okay, maybe Uther hosts a bad party. Very possible. Maybe Uther is really just going to hold one formal dinner for the upper classes and he's announcing that to the lower classes who are going to get nothing because he's that out of touch somehow? But, also, no, a festival means something different than a feast. And Uther is awful, but I would think he has a little more social cunning than that. I'm going to suppose that he earnestly wants to "generously reward" the common people for resisting the corruption of magic, and that he intends to give out some benefit.

But NO ONE smiles. This is a Fantasy Medieval Land where someone gets executed for doing the Evil Magic and then the King announces a Victory Festival, and no one cheers or looks even remotely happy through any of it. Everyone is about to shuffle off sadly before the executed man's mother starts screaming at Uther, saying that he is the true evil of Camelot and promising to kill his son. And no one boos her for it. They mostly just watch her, wait for Uther's inevitable bad reaction, and then just... shuffle away quietly after she vanishes in a whirlwind. Huh.

This one scene is implying a LOT about the social and cultural state of things in Camelot, and what the common people think of their King and his campaign. Other episodes will go on to elaborate and say other things about this world. But this is the opening scene that's stuck with me for a long time. We're obviously not meant to think well of Uther during this scene. Maybe we're meant to see that Uther is not at all a beloved king here. It looks like they're intentionally going for a frightening tone because this is all meant to be very scary for Merlin, who walked into this place like five minutes ago and could be next.

But I don't know if the show fully thought through what the actions of the background extras are suggesting here (they were presumably understandably focused on other things, this is the pilot and they're still working out kinks, this show is kind of silly anyway, etc.), and I think what it says is neat: Uther is a relatively recent king (his speech contains the words "when I first came to this land") and he is NOT popular. There's a difference between "not liked" and "NO ONE likes this guy even when they actually showed up to his event", and what they show here seems to be the latter.

Everything in a visual medium contributes to the story, whether the creators intended it or not, and none of the background extras filling out the scene cheer or smile when the camera points their way. Usually, hatred like Uther's will attract eager assholes happy to blame the Designated Other for all of their problems and society's problems, and obviously Uther does have a lot of guards and soldiers and willing followers in them, but still... not a SINGLE person (not even the soldiers doing crowd control) cheers or smiles at the public execution OR when the king declares a festival. Not one. It's unfortunately not unrealistic for people to cheer tyrants and join hate campaigns, but Uther's willingness to kill anyone on a shred of evidence has made him so unpopular that he can't get a single huzzah here.

That's something.

(Also, the near-complete absence of the Church in this world is VERY funny.)

[the-meme-monarch]

christmas has always kinda made me feel awkward and bad for different reasons but now it’s just “the day before my cat died”. the entire month of december is just “remember when your cat died?” “hey it’s your sibling’s birthday :]” “remember when your cat died?.” “merry christmas. tomorrow is the anniversary of when your cat died.” “good morning it’s the anniversary of when your cat died.”

[lordadmiralfarsight]

Revolution fetishism is a horrible political view, especially in this context

Okay, rant incoming, partially related to recent events, but also to earlier thinking on my part.

There are, on the Left, a fair few people that romanticize or outright fetishize the concept of Revolution, of violent popular uprising to wrest power out of the hands of a corrupt elite and give it to the people. Very romantic, very righteous (self-righteous pretty often), very good and nice and sexy. And by the grace of revolutionary fervor and ideological purity, everything will be better after.

Except no.

See, a lot of this romanticization of Revolution comes, to my knowledge, from my own country of France. We have romanticized our Revolution a fair bit, and honestly, looking at the first part, fair. A serious go at giving women rights, a no-cause divorce, abolition of slavery, privileges thrown out, equality between people proclaimed loud, enfranchisement given to minorities ... in 1789. A LOT of good and progress, especially for the time.

But then it got fucky, VERY fucky. The Reign of Terror, under the caring leadership of Maximilien Robespierre, was a fucking nightmare on Earth, caracterized by mass executions on political basis, and by this I mean anyone that opposed Robespierre got beheaded. Political plurality? You mean anti-revolutionary sentiment ! Unacceptable, kill everyone.

A rumor of the time said the Place de Grève was covered in a layer of blood that was ankle deep. Is that an exageration ? Yes, certainly. But the fact it got to that point should tell you something about how intense the murdering was. And that was just one square in Paris, there was the rest of the country to consider too.

But surely, after Robespierre fell victim to his own system and was executed, something better emerged, right?

No. Sweet mother of fuck, NO.

What followed was roughly 70 years of political instability and violence, warfare and civil war, several dictatorships, including attempts to restore absolute monarchy, that undid most of the good brought by the first part of the Revolution. And finally, France stumbled onto political stability in 1870 when the temporary 3rd Republic, that was supposed to wait until the presumptive heir to the throne (who wanted an absolute monarchy) croacked did what temporary things do best and became the permanent system (until its fall).

This was not thanks to the Revolution. It was pure randomness.

Did the French Revolution bring good things? Yes, it did. In its first part. The second part brought chaos and misery for multiple decades. And it took a lot of work and efforts to bring back what the Revolution, the peaceful part, had brought in.

And far too many people on the Left fetishize and romanticize the whole thing, as if we couldn't have had the first part without the second, as if the progress and hope and betterment somehow needed the chaos and murder that came after.

Yes, there would have been a period of conflict, European monarchies would not have accepted quietly a realm the size of France doing away with monarchs. But did we REALLY need the political purges ? Did we REALLY need the paranoia ? Did we REALLY need the massacres ?

But you will find people that answer yes, and say the spilled blood somehow made it pure, or good. And those same people are looking at what Hamas is doing and are cheering. These people don't celebrate the first part, the progress and hope. They claim to be, but they aren't. They celebrate the Terror. They yearn for the unjust "popular tribunal" AKA mob "justice". They dream of executing political opponents or anyone they think is "bad" on light or even absent charges.

And That's why they cheer for Hamas rockets and massacres. That's why they sing when Israeli children are murdered. That's why they attack Jews that don't live in Israel. Because they hope to vicariously live this period of unchecked violence.

Know who was celebrating the RIGHT part of the Revolution ? The Israeli working with Gazan to build understanding. The Gazan protesting against Hamas. The Israeli Arabs risking their lives to save the lives of fellow Israeli and of foreigners, regardless of skin or creed. The Gazan trying to improve things in their homes against the wishes and efforts of Hamas.

Know who IS celebrating the RIGHY part of the Revolution ? The Israeli protesting the way the IDF is bombing Gaza. The people decrying the hypocrisy of blood-thirsty leftists. The people calling for Peace and working to make the political change to allow it.

But the Robespierres of the time, drunk on their own self-assurance, condemn and insult them, claiming that blood must be spilt. But it doesn't have to be. The French Revolution started relatively bloodlessly. It didn't need some great orgy of violence. Oh it wasn't clean, but it was far cleaner than the armchair Robespierres would like it to be. Because it didn't need to be.

And that's my point, really. The people fantasizing about and fetishizing the Revolution always dream of torrents of blood washing away the injustices, of seas of corpses forming a fertile ground upon which progress can grow. But that horseshit. All you get with that is, like the Place de Grève, a sinister place that stinks of rot and death, and flocks of scavengers gorging on your crimes.

All you get is a chance for a Napoleon to arrive. Or Stalin's USSR that so casually carried on with the crimes of the Tsars. Or Polpot who murdered 25% of his population.

If you look at the French Revolution, the right lesson to learn is that you need to know when to stop, and that's before you get to indiscriminate killing. Because once you get to that point ... people that thrive in those settings get in power and perpetuate them.

And to apply that to the situation in I/P ... knowing when to stop means realizing that Israeli are still humans, that Gazan are still humans, that their lives have worth and should be protected, that supporting child killings when it's done by "brown people" is not anymore alright than supporting child killings when done by the IDF. And you people should very well consider the possibility that people inside the IDF are doing all they can to reduce Bibi's ability to order war crimes.

And you should recognize that there are efforts on the part of the IDF, sometimes token efforts, sometimes more than just that, to limit the number of dead civilians. Point me to a case where Hamas did the same. Point me to a case where they tried to get Israeli civilians out of the way instead of targeting them.

Hamas is not a Revolution you want to succeed. It's not about being free. It's about killing. This isn't a "glorious revolutionary action", it's a prelude to the wholesale slaughter and ethnic massacre they dream of. It's a tiny window into their ideal, blood soaked world.

Violent revolution should be a last resort, when there is no other option available, when the system is so utterly broken and shattered that nothing can move, and it should be stopped as soon as the system is unfucked enough to negociate. The I/P situation is not at that stage. Look at how much efforts the fascists of both sides have to invest in maintaining this. Look at how much time and money and efforts they have to invest to keep each other in place. And despite this, people of both sides reach for peace, argue and protest for it, even at the risk of their very lives (especially true in Gaza).

And if you refuse to consider all this, if you insist on following Robespierre, remember this : La Veuve came for him too, in the end.

[watching-constellations]

Okay, I am so sorry, but I just realized that the crab dancing in this video lines up really well with “Soldier, Poet, King”?? And let me tell you, I am having an experience.

[goldenappledelicious]

Going off of the idea that the prank was the start of Bridget’s fall to darkness and not actually the only catalyst. I feel like the start of Bridget’s reign as Queen of Hearts had a sort of Caligula situation.

She’s starts pretty good and beloved and really does want the people to love her. But with her already giving into crueler behaviors at school, she starts showing those traits again. And unlike at school, she isn’t getting punished or negatively affected by these actions outside of people fearing her. She’s the Queen after all. And after so long being picked on and viewed as weak, that fear just makes her feel more powerful. So it just gets worse.

She starts getting angry easier and becomes quicker to punish. Until eventually months in she finally does her first beheading. And that’s like the point of no return. She has now executed someone. Someone is dead at her command. And… nothing happens. Everyone accepts it because they have to and she sees no consequences to it. And she fully accepts that ruling with fear is a lot better than ruling with love when you’re an absolute monarch with complete immunity to consequences.

[fandomnerd9602]

Arranged

Princess!Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader

Thanks to @aloneodi for the prompt!

Wanda hated this arrangement. Marriage between her family, House Maximoff and it's closest neighbor House (L/N). It was a disaster in her mind.

Not only would she have to marry a man she just met but what she had heard about the crown prince of the house was even worse. Rumors had circulated that the crown prince was a womanizer, a prince who would chase all the maids and young women of the land.

"I refuse!" she stated before her father King Erik.

"I beg your pardon?" the monarch asked in response.

"I refuse to be married to some man who will not respect me. A man who would only see me as another notch in his bedpost." Wanda stated defiantly. "Mother raised me to be better than that! I refuse to be the prince's wife!"

"Our nation is on the brink of war with House Stark" the king argued, "in case of attack, we need allies and House (L/N) is our only option."

"What about Pietro?"

"He's pledged to take the throne, along with his betrothed Lady Crystal. Will you at least meet your betrothed?"

Wanda huffed, there wasn't much a choice. She simply nodded. Quickly, she went to her room and changed into some civilian attire.

"Please tell me you're not planning on running away" Natasha, her protector, waltzes in.

"I need some fresh air and some new paints. will my guard care to join me?" Wanda asks her oldest friend.

"I'd be beheaded if I said no" Natasha smirks as she quickly takes off her armor and slips on a cloak.

Wanda loved to see her kingdom, but the only way to remain safe was to go in disguise. Her favorite stop was the painter's shop. New colors and variations for her artwork, it was like being able to create new worlds with the stroke of a paintbrush.

She and Natasha stepped into the shop to find a new customer talking with the owner, purchasing a vial of scarlet red paint. Wanda ran to the back of the store to find the same color. But lo and behold, it was gone.

"Thank you so much" the new customer called out.

"Wait!" Wanda called out as she ran back to the front, "I need that color!"

"Scarlet?" the customer looked at her curiously. "you paint?"

"Yes. What is it unusual for a woman to love to paint?"

"Not in my mind." he smiles before handing it to her, "I was going to paint some roses but I think violets are better in bloom this season"

"Thank you" Wanda fishes for some coins, "allow me to pay you what-"

"Think nothing of it" the customer smiles, "I have all I could need. Pleasure meeting you miss-"

"Wanda" she found herself blushing. Natasha raised an eyebrow, finally someone to get straight to her heart.

"I'm Y/N" the customer smiles, "or at least that's what father calls me when he's not angry"

"And what do you do?"

"A-Apprentice mostly" Y/N shyly replied. "Still learning. But I play the lute and write poetry"

"I love to paint and writing song lyrics" Wanda lets out a chuckle. "I hope to see you again, Y/N"

"As I hope to see you as well, miss Wanda" Y/N replies before offering a bow and heading out.

Natasha lets out a little laugh, "you should've seen your face, Wanda. Your corset looked ready to drop"

"Shut your mouth" Wanda blushed as she walked back to the castle.

She walked into the throne room to see her father talking with a cloaked figure. The two were sharing a little laugh.

"I must've misunderstood the letter" King Erik laughs, "so no marriage required"

"Your majesty" a similar voice answers back, "my family is built on the Knight's Code. Despite what my brother's womanizing actions may say. I would rather have friends than a forced marriage"

Wanda approached the two, trying to be as quiet as a mouse. The king turned to her, "darling you must meet Prince Y/N"

"Y/N?" Wanda looked to the hooded figure who pulled down his hood revealing the friendly customer from before. The two young royals found themselves gasping.

Y/N couldn't wipe off the smile forming on his face.

"But-! How?"

"Your majesty" Y/N bows before her, "It appears our next meeting was sooner than we would think."

"Were you tricking me?" Wanda eyed the prince.

"Never ma'am." Y/N explained, 'I like to visit potential allies as a servant, i can get more places as such."

"So you're the one I am to marry?"

"I-If that is your wish" Y/N blushes

"You're not a womanizer"

"That's my older brother" Y/N huffs, "My mom raised me better than that."

"You're not an apprentice" Wanda giggled.

"I am actually. An apprentice monarch" Y/N laughs, "and I am still learning."

"Perhaps you could show me some of your poems," Wanda offered the young prince.

Y/N holds out his elbow to her, "only if you'll show me your paintings."

Wanda found herself blushing again. She looked to her guard who gave her the thumbs up.

The two young royals walked off arm in arm. Maybe there would be a marriage some day, for Wanda and Y/N. But for now, their kingdoms were safe and a blossoming love could take the time to fully bloom.

THE END.

[the-confused-little-anomaly]

Ye shall bow before the squirmy monarch

[an-ambivalent]

I thought of this scenario... 😳🙃 So um anyway... Back on my uchiha bullshit.

Warning: yandere content and themes of abuse. Read at your own discretion. I do not condone this behaviour in real life.

Imagine one of those medieval european settings from any villianess/isekai manhwa you've read. The royal family (the Uchihas) are tyrannical rulers, particularly the current monarch Fugaku Uchiha. There's no room for error, people are easily beheaded left and right for the tiniest mistake or "disrespect" against the Uchiha family.

Itachi understood his family dynamics. So, he adapted quickly and knew how to behave and navigate his family complex situations to not get on his father's bad side. Despite whatever he believed, he did whatever Fugaku expected him to do to not face his father's wrath. But, Sasuke on the other hand... He's always been a bit more oblivious from a young age.

He lived a sheltered life. His mother already lost her first son to Fugaku, she didn't want to repeat the same mistakes so she kept him more isolated and protected. It didn't matter because Fugaku ignored his youngest son anyway. He only cared for his heir, Itachi.

Raised in his own little bubble, there were only few people Sasuke interacted with: his mum, his nanny, and his nanny's daughter and his only playmate: you. There wasn't much else for a long time, just sweet innocent childhood memories. That's until he reaches a certain age and starts noticing the difference between his brother's status and his own, and his own father never even speaks to him. He wants to start seeking out his father and yearns for his approval.

There have been something different about Itachi lately. Fugaku knows he's losing his control on his son. There's not much he can do until he notices his second son lingering around. Its perfect because Sasuke is seeking his approval and Fugaku needs to restart his training for a new puppet.

The tyrannical monarch, when seeking out his second son for the first time, witnesses the most appaling his scene. His son, a royal prince is confessing to you, a mere servant's child, a commoner. That's not the worst part: how dare you, a filthy peasant, dare to reject his son?! Who did you think you were?!

That scene is enough to show how lacking Sasuke's education has been under his incompetent mother. The most pretegious family, Uchiha, they don't ask. They take what they want, when they want it.

And then before anything could happen, both you and Sasuke are captured by the imperial guards. You're terrified. You've heard countless of stories about how ruthless the Emperor is. You knew that with your status, death awaited you. For Sasuke, despite whatever his harsh punishment, his royal status would protect his life.

You cried out in pain as the knights pinned you to the ground. The concrete dug into your skin, causing painful abrasions, and you felt blood gushing out of your forehead.

Sasuke cried out in panic at seeing your situation. "Father please! Stop-"

"Insolent child! No child of mine will be ever at a peasant's mercy! Clearly, your education has been lacking. I've been too lenient with my dear wife. It's about time I take you under my wing.

"You're not going to be like Itachi, I'll make sure of it. I'm going to teach you how to take things for yourself and keep them for yourself."

Fugaku loomed over Sasuke; the young boy wept in fear, with tears at the corner of his eyes, and legs shaking.

"Do you want her?"

"W-what?"

Fugaku clicked his tongue and his glared hardened. "Don't make me repeat myself boy, I will make you regret it. You confessed to her. Do you want her?"

"Y-Yes."

"Then you will have her. No child of mine will be denied anything, especially not from a peasant. You're going to keep her and learn how to take what you want and keep everything under your control." He said, grinning widely.

You could do nothing but tremble in fear knowing that you were going to be nothing but become a possession for another future tyrannical monarch.

[fafayayarhen]

YOOO SAY LESS!!!

Snice Austria was married so many times to different countries

Who do you think he least enjoyed being married to and why?

France.

It has to be France.

Listen, the most that was lost after the war of the Spanish successions you at least still got some territories, the remaining low countries (Belgium & Lux) went to Austria and became Austrian-Netherlands.

And even then they still kept an amicable relation, that in the 1700s in the efforts to capture Gibraltar, Spain actually asked the Austrian empire for help.

France, though?

Motherfucker was the reason HRE was dissolved.

Not only that, imagine being Austria. Being Roderich. Imagine being close to the most renowned female ruler of the century, imagine coordinating with her the machination of marriages that of which she had many daughters to spare for the cause, imagine growing closer to each daughter, seeing them as your own family.

Imagine being married to the man who single handedly killed and destroyed the foundation of your Imperium, imagine then one of the daughters of your beloved empress gets kILLED BECAUSE YOUR PEOPLE WENT UPPED AND REVOLTED.

Roderich and motherhood & dynamics with the female monarchs, female nobilities is an important character aspect and therefore he would've adored Marie Antoinette, Maria Theresa's youngest daughter.

Imagine receiving news she was beheaded.

Imagine cleaning up the mess of your failure of a husband who single handedly fucked up the balance of power across the continent. The Congress of Vienna was pretty much a divorce arrangement.

The sex was probably fulfilling but that dick isn't worth all that shit to go through.