#been wanting to redraw this shot forever

[lilcatastrophe]

fashion icons fr

[kaijuparfait]

long ramble of me going through the venom trailer because i am insane totally normal about it

this isn't anything professional, just me spouting out random words as i run around in circles like an excited dog-

OK LET'S GO:

firstly... king please change your clothes its been years, why are you still wearing that exact same outfit???

BUT i am a sucker for the light going over and past Eddie as he walks, i just think it's so cool hehe,,

E: "You should probably know that I have a really dark and unpredictable side to me."

hmmm... i'll believe you. at first, it sounds like he's telling this to Venom, but I wouldn't be surprised if Eddie is telling this to someone else and this "dark and unpredictable side" is Venom.... Or he is telling this to Venom and Eddie just really wants to kill now which. I am ok with that, love that for them, they should be allowed to do what they want

cleanly punching off the lock via the ~ Power of Friendship ~ (or something like that)

not the dogs :( i'm assuming this is a place to hold dogs for like. dog fighting?? i think? which is terrible and those guys deserved to get their heads eaten!

E: "I'm giving you a chance, sweetie."

LET. EDDIE. KILL. everyone say thank you Tom Hardy for being Eddie cause WOAH i am. normal.

V: "Just say "when"." E: "...when."

WE'RE SO BACK its just like the "Mask!" "Copy." bit from the first movie omg we're so back, these two make me ill i love them sm

also Eddie not even flinching at the knife, most likely Venom turning off the pain (or something) but I like to think Eddie's just cool like that (these close ups of Eddie's face makes me wanna do a study on him, just draw him a million times for the fun of it, and i will! Tom Hardy is a beautiful man!)

either venom is fully acting as shoes or Eddie is wear the most busted up pair of crocs i have ever seen and both options are so great. either way- KICK! that guy is GONE you even see him slouched against the wall, surrounded by bricks in a later scene, Venom and Eddie are not messing around this movie!

I- hhhhh. ok. I'm ok. Yeah these two are NOT messing around, Eddie could not care less about these dudes, there is no hesitating, no guilt, no fear in this man's expression AND I LOVE IT <333 GET ANGRY! GET SCARY!!!

AND WE HAVE THE BOI. THERE HE IS!!! the roar sounds different too i think, it's very cool tho, feels like a shrill, higher pitch than i expected but i don't dislike it

let the dogs be free! they immediately start attacking those guys and i love it <3 doggy :3

AND EDDIE IS FIGHTING TOO WOOOOO i need to redraw all of these frame cause WHEW! making me blush with these shot compositions, so good. so much trust, Eddie knows Venom will keep him safe and jumps in! literally! i adore how Venom's head is following him too, it's so creepy, the way it just slithers through the air, I wish to send all my love to the teams who work on Venom, there are so many points from the trailer and the first 2 movies that I wanna dissect, just to point out all his little movements, very fun

speaking of his little movements- squinty eyes :3 and the half venom, half eddie face again! always a win, forever iconic <3

tearing apart this venom scene OK! the little tendrils by Eddie's face, the way they move around is so UGH its so weird and i adore it! This "pose" is also fun because we really get to see the inside of Venom's mouth, most importantly his teeeeeth, in a long, pretty still shot that isn't when his mouth is wide open, the artist in me is loving it

also the team always does an amazing job on just making Venom look alien- the thick veins, the shiny black skin, and the tendrils that are holding up the bad guy split apart, instead of being just one tentacle, very gross, but in a good way

E: "We.. are..-" V: "WE ARE VENOM!" E: "We.. are..-" V: "VENOM!!" E: "No.."

They share one braincell, holy fudge, I love symbrock fjdkslfjsdk

and Eddie just keeps trying! same tone, same level, and Venom is so excited

V: "Oh!"

(I also love these shots because we get a nice close up of how Venom's mouth moves when pronouncing words)

E: "Yeah.. We.." V: "We.." E + V: "are... Venom." E: "...We really need to work on that."

and they get there eventually lmao, the way they say it is so in sync, even the eye movements are the same, how they open wider, and THE VOICES hhhh the voices.,,.. Tom Hardy is such a good. voice actor? in this sense ig.. i am on the ground, pure joy with how Eddie and Venom's voices overlap here

and Venom goes to town! lovely meal <3 getting a meal with the bf <3

I am LOOKING oh my goodness his mouth can open WIDE... normal feelings rn, yup, mhm!

doggy :D dog friends :D also Eddie no shot you stole that guy's shoes lmao??? nice boots tho (as someone who wears cowboy boots often, i would love to see Eddie in a full outfit.. putting that in the drawing idea list...)

V: "DELICIOUS! You take me to all the finest places!"

see! dinner date! :3 I can just hear the smile on Venom, i love when he's happy

and the world's most pathetic wet cat of a man (I say with the upmost affection) is back!

more proof that Eddie is never NOT sweating and that Tom Hardy's Eddie voice has the most confusing accent- i think he's saying

E: "Honey, I don't know."

but he could very well just be stuttering, or maybe he stopped midway and instead said "I need- I don't know." but i'm hoping they're at the point of pet names, go full comic, let Eddie call Venom "love" and "dear" and "my darling"

[Edit- thank you @.bridoesotherjunk for pointing out that he says "I need a Tylenol." i need better listening comprehension i guess??? lol?]

i don't know 100% of the Venom lore, still have tons of comics to read, so i won't talk much about the potential storyline here but- 4 SYMBIOTES!! maybe maybe maybe the Life Foundation Symbiotes... these babies got some funky colors.. they already used the name Riot but these 4 could be Lasher, Phage, Scream and Agony if i pray hard enough, the colors don't match but i can dream!

totally not emotional over this little bit of Venom that was left behind from that one after credits scene trying to bond with a host gently. yup yeah my heart isn't hurting at all!

LET MY BOY GO, HE DID NO WRONG!!!

my favorite local cryptid, what a creature

and he changed! finally! nice shirt tho, buttoned up only part way? the HAIR??? good stuff

fire seems to be a known weakness now, looking at the background, and i can't guess what they're looking up at, Eddie does speed up for it tho. I'm gonna say either a helicopter or something else they're gonna try and jump up to? Venom does go-

V: "OH SHIT"

during this scene so maybe it's one of those Symbiotes from before? Who knows, I could guess a hundred things but idk

THE WATER SCENE!! FROM THAT ONE BEHIND THE SCENES PHOTO TOM HARDY POSTED!!!

Venom in the last bit and Eddie being just himself if the first portion of these clips show that these guys 100% know what they're doing and have some sort of device (shown in the right image) that is capable of doing some crazy damage to Venom! Which! Oh no!!! I enjoy fight scenes underwater tho (Looks at Godzilla), very hyped for this one, I really wanna see how Venom swims. Yeah that sounds a bit weird but like. no way he's swimming like a human, c'mon now

E: "We are living the dream, my friend V: "You mean it?!" E: "NO."

Can't get over Venom's delivery here, he sounds so genuinely, it made me laugh, especially to how exhausted Eddie sounds lmao

LAS VEGAS??? y'all guessed right, they really are gonna get married in vegas,,

Eddie in a suit, HELLO??? my guy is looking snazzy! really tho, he looks so nice a suit, the BLACK AND WHITE suit? perfect. I saw people saying that they hope that Venom is the suit and just. me too..

MRS. CHEN RETURNS omg this cast are all so <333 she is GORGEOUS that dress is beautiful on her AND HER HAIR Mrs. Chen my beloved

Mrs. Chen sounds so happy to see Eddie, and Venom also very excitedly say hi, my heart is going to burst, it is overflowing, this part of the trailer makes me smile so much AND THEN THEY DANCE WITH EACH OTHER!!! I know it's called The Last Dance but I was not expecting a dance with Mrs. Chen??? I am more than ok with this tho, Venom and Mrs. Chen, dancing on the stairs, they look so happy, they're having such a good time i can't, my heart can't take this <3

AND LOOK HOW THEY HOLD HER HANDS.. they... they care about each other so much i'm going to cry in the theaters- no i'm gonna cry NOW.

is that a xenophage i see??? that thing is HUGE HUH??? i fully understand Venom in this (side note, i ADORE how Venom goes "JESUS CHRIST" upon seeing this thing, the line delivery get's better every film, that was so genuine) this design is insane tho, i might spend some time doing a study on it

Toxin is here! YIPPEE!!! love the voice, thought it was Venom for a second the first time i watch this but its pretty good

I have no clue who the people are that are in this tower thing, I've seen a few theories but i ain't embarrassing myself by guessing wrong here lmao

(running out of image spaces sorry!)

in the clip of Venom walking into this lab (?) and then getting violently shot at, is it just me or does Venom seem small? I'm guessing the door is just really big but like. idk maybe i'm just mixing up my Venoms and thinking that he's not as big as I remember

really quick cut of what may be 2 more Symbiotes like the 4 from earlier? maybe they're the same and are just changing colors, maybe they're new, who knows! I love their colors tho, the one on the right (in the clip) looks like it's blue and pink and i think that's cute

Xenophage breaks into this lab, love that for her, she is still terrifying!

E: "We may not make it out of this alive, buddy."

haha what do you mean by that king?

V: "Eddie... the time has come..."

HAHA PAUSE. uhm. he said the same thing last time at the end of Let There Be Carnage and Eddie didn't let him go but, istg, IF THEY DIE AT THE END OF THIS MOVIE. i know its the last of the trilogy BUT THEY DON'T NEED TO DIE, SONY, MARVEL, DON'T DO THIS TO ME. i am going cry violently at the writers... i don't think i will ever stop crying if they die at the end

they're in this busted up helicopter, already intriguing, but when it zooms in on Eddie's face, he's tearing up??? this movie is checking off every emotion, i need to remember to stay hydrated before i go see it, i will cry so much

I don't even think i'll be able to handle just one of them dying, the end of the first movie made me tear up the first time i saw it, and that was before i was as insane about them as i am now, i will be UNWELL in the theater

And last but certainly not least. HORSE VENOM WOOOOOO

the design for this things is insane, i didn't think i'd ever wanna draw a horse in my life but like.. kinda changing my mind ngl (weird detail, Venom horse has hands and feet and not hooves!)

E: "Be honest with me, how fast do you think you can make that thing go, without killing it?" V: "..ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!"

Venom sounds a bit muffled in this clip which makes it a bit more funny to me, i won't lie. Eddie is hanging on FOR HIS LIFE THOUGH, geez i know he said "how fast" but Eddie gets LAUNCHED OFF VENOM when they go over that cliff. fun reference to the first movie, how Venom grabs onto Eddie as he flies up, like on the motorcycle <3

this horse scene has to be earlier on because Eddie is in The Outfit and is also not wearing shoes??? i refuse to believe he'd put it back on, and in the helicopter-"it is time" clip, Eddie is wearing that white shirt, which looks like the undershirt to the suit (maybe) so the Las Vegas scene happens before them running from the explosion/fire.

oh right, the song that's playing? Space Oddity by David Bowie? yeah it's about an astronaut dying along in space.... which... is not very comforting...

god this trailer makes me so hyped, October cannot come faster i need this movie NOW. please.

man the trailer is kinda confusing, i'm already making guesses on where things happen and what the context could be, but literally anything could happen in this film. there are so many things that just don't make sense yet and it's hurting my brain I JUST WANNA KNOW! are those new Symbiotes or not? What even is the plot? Will Eddie and Venom profess their love to each other? Will Sleeper be real? How many times will this movie make me cry? Only time will tell

...and it's only the first trailer! head so full of thoughts, heart so full of emotions!

[mdverse]

md's fun silly little top 10(ish) arts of the 2023!*

*pretend there's a fun cute doodled banner here (i was going to make one earlier and then i forgor)

doing a lil recap of my top 10 15 (it was supposed to be 10 and i could not narrow it down oops) best(? this is subjective as fuck i guess it's more like my personal faves) drawings of the year! *the crowd cheers* (it’s me I’m the crowd)

15: paradise by the dashboard light! i hate to rank her so low bc i spent ages on her but it seems i don't love the result that much anymore so :/ a for effort for me tho this was ambitious

14: cheer girl loml <33 not my best art technically by far but i went way out of my comfort zone for the background and the art style (for no good reason really) (i just wanted to do a comic book thing bc superhero vibes or whatever) (it did not come out the way i was hoping it would bc i think i got too frustrated) and we simply must acknowledge that. atog did things to me that i cannot explain

13: barbie meme brittana! not my best britt but truly sooo fun to work on. there's nothing quite like finding a fun rendering process and then never using it again (i don't even remember how i coloured this but i like it)

12: cowboy barbie brittana <3 they look good, they're about to kiss, cute outfits, pretty sunset, probably went overboard with the rim lighting, what's not to love? a banger, i think

11: i say a little prayer! i think the background is. questionable at best. but this is still really fun! i think i got possessed when i got to the uniforms bc goddamn they look good

10: klaine?? on this blog???? almost unheard of lmao i truly did not think i would like this one as much as i did. i'd consider ranking it higher if i wasn't constantly Unwell over brittana but again, i'm biased, and no one here should be surprised about that

9: pre-wedding kiss my beloved! with how insane i've been over this kiss it could perhaps be higher. i am gnawing on my desk as we speak i'm not even sitting at a desk rn

8: rutherchang x black swan!! ohhh u guys i don't talk about this one enough i think it's so pretty i don't even remember how i did the colours for it but rhgfdkngd?? love her, love pushing the glee x bts agenda, if any of u gifmakers are interested in making a mike chang x black swan lyric gifset i will love u forever

7: colour wheel challenge! busted my whole tiddies and ass for this one fellas. labour of love etc etc i think staring at the bright colours for so long made my eyesight worse and i'm ok with that

6: mistletoe brittana <33 easily the best instalment of this series by a long shot! recency bias (and also just. regular bias) made me rank her much higher originally but technically she is not the most intricate piece so she must sit down here

5: prom queen kurt! dare i say a girlslay on my behalf? i think i dare. every time i see it i think i should do more glosters (glee posters) and then i don't. i could tho they would be really cool (source: dude trust me)

4: churro kiss redraw!!! genuinely Not Sane over this! never have been, never will be! redraws are like crack to me and so is this kiss

3: furtana!! i neglected them for far too long this year but if neglecting them results in art like this i may have to do it again

2: heart kiss <3 if we're being really honest and vulnerable in the chat tonight i think this is technically my best of the brittana kiss screencap redraw things i've done this year? which i did not see coming but i guess practice means refining the process etc etc so. it makes sense ig. mwah to them <3

1: black or white gcv animation <3 it's not what i would call my best drawing (bc it's, yknow, not just one drawing) but it is what i would call the product of a very obsessive thought and some frantic art sessions. objectively it's the coolest thing i've done this year so it deserves the top spot. i'm proud of it i hope to glanimate more next year. also this isn't art but it's a relevant post that i still stand by months later

[nebulaika]

Ever since I first conceptualized a sci-fi AU with @calywitsune , I’ve been wanting to redraw this Halo 3 shot with Doku and Kiha 😩😩 I’ve actually had it sketched for forever but smth took over and I finallyyyy finished it! Played around a lot with this one but I’m really happy with how it turned out!! These two really go through it in this AU dftfdfdghftdf but it’s FUN I love drama and hurt comfort and everything is FINE THEYRE FINE!!!

Doku belongs to @calywitsune !!!

[breserker]

For the Behind the Scenes meme: ✍️ "when did you get started writing?"

pretty sure it was always a thing i dabbled in, whether just in daydreams or actually writing it down. two stories i remember making at least one if not multiple notebook pages were:

a prologue to set up a world where the jesus figure was a minotaur that cut off a bad guy's hand sooooo oo o o o hard before killing him that he became disgraced. i don't remember what the main story was but it was pretty basic wheel of time type shit of "peasant is secretly Chosen One" type stuff

a mad raccoon scientist creates the technology to merge two animals together. horribly abusive to his rabbit assistant. i drew so many fucking merged animals because i secretly really wanted the Impossible Creatures RTS game that i never was able to have because it was rated T so i made my own. most of all i remember the gila monster/cockatoo because i was so proud of myself for drawing the gila monster scales

beyond that it was a lot of daydreaming, i had a gang of imaginary pals that all had their own backstories and arcs nearly all independent of each other. one forever mainstay was a purple dragon with ram horns named guno that i still love in my heart. another favorite was, and typing this out i'm realizing how much this has always been a fascination in my life and Oopsie It's Always Been An Issue, a character named Stag who was born during a thunderstorm on the night of a new moon, so he's both half-mountain lion and half mountain-goat and All Cursed, like Super Cursed. He's got his normal head and then the skull of a twin fused onto the top of his head. I've actually been meaning to redraw him sometime for the concept alone.

I always daydreamed stories to myself to sleep (oh my god did 6yo bre take the battles in digimon and go "you know what this needs? BLOOD") but i didn't start writing down and sharing fanfiction until like, hmmm. 5th or 6th grade or something. I was 11 for sure. Those fics are lost to time and good riddance!

this current book i think i fucking started in september before the first book was even out--dabbling in writing that in between scream-editing the first book. it's making good progress but imma be honest my energy is shot and my brain is fucking Mush, so i'm taking a break to just zone out for a bit.

[seamayweed]

Drama fanart suggestions/requests

Been meaning to get back into art since forever, so I decided to take a page out of @convenientalias' book and ask people to send me screenshots of the shows I'm currently obsessed with (i.e. Bloodhounds and MCTNA) so I can redraw them. I'd be grateful if most of those shots included Woo Do Hwan because my main goal right now is to get some practice capturing (or trying to capture) his beautiful, fine-boned features on a digital canvas -- thank you! 💙

A convo with the loveliest convenientalias boosted my confidence enough to share a small primer of what some of my Seon-ho doodles / lineart looks like:

(plz ignore the color pencil swatches above -- was trying to mix the colors and skin tones, but then I completely chickened out of actually using them on his face 🤣)

Edit: Oops, totally forgot that you can't take screenshots from Netflix and that most people don't dl the episodes. In my recent reply to an anon ask I revealed where to get HQ videos, though ig not everyone wants to own such relatively big files and it takes a while to dl those.

Maybe you can tell me the timestamp(s) instead and I'll take a screenshot of that moment and send it to you so you can confirm if it's the one you wanted or not?

[clutchpowers]

Sooooo... i wanted to stick this little rambly thing at the bottom of the redraw but it would have made it look UGLY so im doing this separately... just wanna talk about the whole thing and What Not.

TLDR: its been a slash positive ride thats been worth it to try "something new" every year and my favorite piece out of all of them is the 9th. also for the curious heres the comparison of the 5th anni piece to the recent one (2018 -> 2023)

anyway. personal post time.

oh where to begin *rocks on my rocking chair* i guess it would be with the 5th anniversary piece...at the time it had been a long while since i did lineless art and i thought it would be cool to try it again for that one so i did by redrawing an old piece from 2014... that was the first "finished piece" i made of Them. i think i even made it into a wallpaper for myself lmao. anyway after i posted it i was like "aw man i should draw something every year until the 10th" but i thought yeah right. im going to forget next year like the idiot i am. but i Some How managed to do one every year... th worms got me... i honestly didnt think id make it all the way to the 10th but i did!! AND WITHOUT MISSING A DAY EXCEPT FOR THE 7TH WHERE I WAS A WEEK LATE???? UNREAL especially when fun fact! every year i had no idea what i wanted to do! all i knew for sure is that i wanted each piece to be out of my comfot zone to push me to do something a little different. unfortunately the subjects tm where always the same so it feels a little. samey. but these are my celebratory posts I GET TO ONLY POST ABOUT THE OTP SUPER BLORBOS OF ALL TIME

the 6th anniversary was a redraw of that one scene. you know the one. the helicopter one. fucking hate that scene btw it actually causes me psychic damage i cant watch with the audio or ill scream. but it is my favorite scene of mine despite all the horrors it causes <3 and i wanted to redraw it as if it was a cartoon... like i had taken screencaps from the lcu cartoon in my head. i still remember the backgrounds being such a pain in the ass. honestly id like to go back and redo this one one day too or do something similar to the concept because its a fun one that i always saw done growing up and i wanted to try it myself.

for the 7th anniversary you can see the turn.. no more humans... return to lego... i was getting a little more confident in drawing them in the lego form so i did another redraw this time with the ending!! honestly i still like this one and how it looks even with how late it was but i wanted to test my confidence and do a real True and Finished piece with COLORED LINES and EVERYTHING!!!!! im glad i ended up taking the turn because for the LONGEST TIME i wanted to try and draw them as lego so bad because all i did was draw them as humans and its funny because now its the exact opposite. glad this piece was kinda the solidification in my head that yeah okay im a bit better at drawing the stylized lego toy now i can keep drawing them like this without feeling like im going to want to delete this in 2 weeks.

the 8th anniversary one is so weird. somewhere toward the beginning of the year it got into my head that i wanted to do a comic of them but time/school would have gotten in the way so i ended up opting for a page. another redraw of the ending scene which honestly out of all of them this is my least favorite one and its solely because its all so off. i def could have formated it better so the background shot doesnt take up the entire fucking page but then again im not a comic guy and this was my first time so the layout was bound to look HORRID but this is something id like to come back to ive had the idea of making like a genuine short comic about them since FOREVER and now that im a bit more experienced (lying) i would like to make one day!!!! just gotta stop getting caught up in my scripts!! and going in circles!! Because im obviously not a writer and i keep getting first-hand embarrassment from these!! but ill get over it one day lol.

OH THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY PIECE MY BELOVED. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES ACTUALLY i love this stupid thing so much you have no idea.i know its re-using lineless but i just loved the idea of what it would look like lineless AND IT CAME OUT SO PERFECT I LOVE IT SO MUCH obv it needs a few touch-ups so the main issues dont stand out to me but god. i love this piece so much. idk what came out of me to make this but its so good ill never get over it. and the little lego them as a cake topper ITS JUST SO CUTE I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY OTHER THAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SORRY

finally. the 10th anniversary piece. oh my god. okay. i need everyone to understand this. i had woken up with this fucking Unbearable pounding headache that was trying to kill me. my body the entire day wanted me to stop and lie down, but last night i was already done with a good chunk of it and all i had to do that day was finish some lines and the coloring?? i literally don't remember all i remember is my body actively trying to shut down and force me to stop and sleep which i took a nap? didnt help. so i said fuck it im finishing this. i was. an entire goddamn corpse arched over my laptop. i was so delirious the entire time its a fucking miracle it even came out as good as it did but honestly. i still hate how it fucking looks. like you can TELL when i gave up (the shading) and it sticks out like a sore fucking thumb to me and it pisses me off because i knew i could have done so much better if i wasnt being stricken down by gods hand and his every attempt to get me to rest. idk like im generally proud ot it, with this one i wanted to go out with a bang tm so i tried to draw every important and relevant character instead of ALL of them like I was originally planning LMAO but ah well. maybe one day when im faster at drawing. this one i defiantly wanna go back and touch up but i everytime i open the file i can see 40 more things wrong with it and it drives me nuts. so ill just have to wait for when im ready. i guess.

can i just say though. the improvement is crazy. it always catches me off guard because tbh i uh. dont like my own art. im getting better at not fucking hating it because i can pinpoint everything wrong with it but whenever i see the side by sides it always surprises me. i always dont think im improving but then i see it and its like wow i really am getting better! i still suck at 3000 things but im getting better! and its overall just a nice thing to see after having drawn them for as long as i have... the power of the worms is strong and has ruined my brain...... speaking of i know ive said a few times that i fucking hate certain pieces, not just LCU related ones but almost anything i post, but if you love them and are able to look at them with a twinkle in your eye then thank you. genuinely. i honestly love looking over the tags of people exploding and saying nice things. it warms my cold little heart and im glad there are people out there that genuinely love some of the things what i do! even if its just fanart and its just their blorbo. thank you for sticking around even tho all i do is draw my otp super blorbos :'^) this game means the world to me and im glad like more than 2 people wanna spread it around.

to wrap back around to the anniversary stuff and speaking of big love to the people out there THE FREAKING EPIC ZINE i was just a small thing but it came out amazing even for how small it was thank you to the contributors and thank you to everyone whos downloaded it!! its still getting the occasional and i love getting the notif in my email about it. i love that there are still people out there who wanna see it and all the hard work everyone put into it to celebrate the games 10th just thank you again i really does mean alot to me ALSO IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED IT OUT PLEASE DO IT IS 100% WORK YOUR TIME AND ITS DIGITAL WITH PRINT AT HOME STICKERS AND YOU CAN KEEP IT AND LOOK AT IT FOREVER

uh to end this off....would I like to do this again..... I mean I kinda am? by that i mean ill do the big numbers (15, 20, 25, 30, 40, etc) till the day i freaking die!!!! but yeah no countdown stuff ever again!!!!! sorry :^( it was super fun to do though!!!! and im glad i did it that piece is the conclusion to the whole thing but that doesnt mean ill stop drawing them. duh. theyre my characters now! but heres to many more anniversaries and to hopefully another game! or to just see them again in any other lego media! or even better... a mischaracterized cameo in ninjago!

[xuune]

Hi! I've been following you for a while (don't really remember why or when) and I love your art! I just wanted to ask:

What's your favorite and least favorite part of animation?

oh cool! thanks for sticking around for so long :) honestly, if you've been following me for some time now it might've been either bc of my fanart, oc art, or both haha

thats a big question which prompts for a big answer so here's me rambling about it below B)

when asking fave/least fave things abt animation, its hard to answer without getting in depth on a variety of things LOL. animation, as a medium and field, is very nuanced with its own concentrations so its kind of a disservice to not recognize those areas esp when the skills u learn have a lot of overlap on how it improves other areas of study

i had practice in some 2D/3D ani, storyboarding, visdev, 3D modelling. here's my general experience with all of those:

2D

fave: figuring out how movement is created, rough animation stage, analyzing and figuring out timing/spacing, esp love the fact that you are creating motion, not pretty illustrations to gawk at, seeing the entire ani come together at the end feels very rewarding

least: cleanup and colors lol, feels very time consuming. if im gonna spend time making lines clean, id rather do that with an illustration piece

3D (in maya)

fave: can rely on the program to do the heavy lifting while you do the keys and adjustments, doing 3d actually enhanced my understanding of how the body moves in motion and space and where drag, follow thru, overshoot could be applied in both 2d/3d

least: i dont get to draw :( majority of my experience in the adjustment process is looking at a mass nebula of graphs and figuring out where i fucked up or smoothing out areas and fixing it. prefer 2d since i can just redraw what looks wrong vs scavenging thru multiple graphs. also modelling the key poses can feel like it takes forever vs drawing it

storyboarding

fave: creating strong, key story beats, keeping drawings rough when possible, shorthanding drawings, researching reference for shot compositions + studying them

least: can be very hard figuring out how to fill in the gaps between certain beats, easy to become uninspired/uncertain abt a sequence drawn

visdev

fave: seeing the final piece come together, figuring out composition, blocking in values/shapes, character design, research phase/looking for references and creating moodboards

least: i hate doing backgrounds lol. complexity affects how much i'll end up dreading it. personally not a fan of working on pieces for very long. im also not a fan of constantly doing paintings/bgs as a job

3d modelling (in maya)

fave: painting the model and texturing it, uv mapping and arranging it

least: the modelling part. fuck up 1 part and you fuck up the rest, you'd have to restart from square 1 or be lucky enough that you had a previous save before the fuck up. a proper process matters a lot in saving yourself the pain and headache from fixing everything (i redid a model that i worked on for 3 wks 4 times bc of my fuck ups)

overall, as a field of study

fave: its fun getting surrounded by others who can talk the same language as you do. ive always wanted to be around people who can get as hyped up and excited over discussing and analyzing story and animation, since i didnt have that with some of my other friends or family members. i've also been able to build proficiency in variety of programs too, which is useful. working in a team project is fun if you've got the right kind of ppl and that makes the experience fun when you the project finished. i've worked on various short films for rough animation, and i always love seeing the final film/composited shot and going "i worked on that part!! look at how nice it turned out with the rest of it! whoever did the [cleans/colors/compositing] did so good!!" i think my biggest satisfaction in this field is understanding the why and how something works (i.e. why/how does this animation effectively sell its movement? what makes these boards convey strong story moments? what about this composition is so appealing? why does this story beat matter to the rest of it? why do i/what makes me care about these characters?) it can easily deter people, but this field's a huge time commitment and youre constantly evolving your own craft. it doesnt come easy to everyone, but when you start seeing your own mileage, it feels very rewarding and pays off

least: industry's hard to get into lol, its kinda like that no matter where you go and once youre graduated, the time you spend in limbo is primarily working on your portfolio and catering to studios you wanna get into. its also easy to get the impression that being a "somebody" and maintaining a reputation matters to just increase your chances and connections of getting a job. that shits hard to deal with when youre not the most extroverted person on the planet, and even if your classmates do know you, are you gonna be the one that they end up talking about constantly or regarded highly a lot? names spread within circles, and it can feel like a competition to just get yourself known. its very easy to beat yourself up over seeing other people's work too. we're desperate, we're starving, we want our work to be acknowledged and validated, we want a job that satisfies our creative needs.

this field is incredibly demanding and its more than just having fun and drawing pretty pictures when much of it is a collaborative effort for a project. the disciplines you learn will majority of the time, without a doubt, will be applied for a larger team. at the same time, what you learn has overlap into other areas too which is always fun when you have this moment of "holy shit, i get it now"

[cheekygreenty]

In My Head - The Darkling x Reader

Supppeer angsty and kinda sad?

The fire engulfed the golden kefta in a water-like rhythm. The cracks and sparks echoed in the open field amongst the silence that settled around all of you. Alina was exhausted, Zoya was grieving, the Ketterdam criminals looked shaken too. But you were unmoving, as still as a painting and not showing a single emotion. They had all witnessed your heartbreak as it fell and crashed the world around you, breaking every part of you. They watched as realization flooded you that you never truly knew Aleksander. They watched as he tore your heart from your chest and threw it into the depths of the Fold to rot.

Painted a picture,

I thought I knew you well

It was humiliating. Alina had tried to warn you but you played her off as selfish and unwilling to use her powers for the good of all Grisha. You told her she was stupid and foolish for loving an otkazat'sya when in reality you were the fool for loving a man that didn't exist.

You told her she was crazy, that Aleksander would never lie to you and that he was good because you knew him. In truth, you were no better than him. You blindly followed everything he said, completely ignoring the alarm bells in your head. You had grown used to them as weeks went by, to the point of the alarm playing a low comforting tune in your mind all day and all night.

There weren't enough apologies in the world to say sorry for the things you'd done and said to Alina and she'd insisted that no apology was necessary because it wasn't your fault, 'It's not your fault you only see the good things about people' she whispered to you before she left to change. But the good things about him weren't there; they never existed. It was all in your head, a mind so desperate for love it concocted a whole new Aleksander, one which you loved so much and would do anything for.

I got a habit of seeing what isn't there

'We were all fooled Y/N, Don't blame it all on yourself' Despite her grieving and sorrow, Zoya's hand rested on your shoulder briefly as a sign of comfort. Without her, you wouldn't have been here right now, alive and breathing.

'I don't blame myself. I hate myself for being so blind'

'Me too'

I thought that you were the one

But it was all in my head

------

You could feel the nothingness of the Fold threading through your hair even inside Alina's tunnel of safety. You stared at her shackled feet, pushing the guilt away and replacing it with a sense of righteousness. There was nothing else that could be done to keep her in check, if she wanted to escape and hide from her destiny forever then she would do so over your dead body.

The Fold needed to be gone and if chaining her to the skiff was going to be the only way she obeyed then so be it. Your mind quickly spiraled back to her hasty words back in the tent. She was panicked and desperate, clinging to your arm like a wailing child begging to be heard. Her lies were bizarre and abundant, no doubt the works from her long journey to the Stag but they were unbelievable. So extreme even a Fjerdan would laugh at their ridiculousness.

The skiff suddenly stopped, Novokribirsk visible in the distance with lines of First-Army troops standing in neat lines.

'Why have we stopped?' A dignitary asked and you wondered the same thing. You searched the skiff for anyone with an explanation, but everyone looked equally as confused but Alina looked mortified. What is going on?

'One more demonstration. You’ve seen what the Sun Summoner can do' You whipped your head around to him slightly moving away but his arm pulled you back to his side with an edge. You heard the loud jangle of Alina's chains as she tried to move. 'Now bear witness to what I can do… with her power.'

He pushed you to Ivan, who took no time in holding you back by the arms, caging you in his grasp. You resisted on the simple basis that you didn't know why you were being restrained just like Alina but the answer came all too soon. There was no time to shout or gasp as Aleksander raised his own hands and the black shadows of the Fold expanded into Novokribirsk, killing everything in its path.

You stood motionless as the horrible sounds of volcra swarming and humans screaming flooded the air. Alina's words came back to you again but you didn't listen. No, you didn't want to. Zoya seemingly came down from the mainsail and looked at the black void in a hypnosis-like stare but nobody dared say anything. There was a silence on the skiff while hundreds and thousands of lives ceased to exist in a matter of seconds.

The comforting tune in your head had suddenly turned into a blinding screech, rendering you frozen and flabbergasted. He did this, Aleksander did this. How could he do this? You tried to fight the heartrenderer off, squirming desperately in his arms to cover your ears from the slaughtering sounds. Your knees had given out by now and Alina was on the floor of the skiff, struggling to get up due to the heavy and awkward chains. I put them there.

'Today, we redraw all the maps. With the power of the Sun Summoner at my command, I control the Fold.' A sob erupted from your throat right at the minute you realized Alina was right. You didn't listen, this is all my fault. Ivan pulled you back up, roughly smacking a hand over your mouth to stop your pathetic cried of betrayal. You fought a little harder, trashing around in hopes of escaping his hold or at least getting someone's attention but nobody seemed to care. They all feared for their lives.

'All countries will answer to us. For who would oppose us now?' He briefly shot a look in your direction but spared you no emotion. It was then that you saw the real Aleksander, blood-thirsty for power and revenge. The Black Heretic.

Everything you are made you

Everything you aren't

The next five minutes were a complete blur. You somehow found yourself fighting for your life and those around you. Your head was empty of its usual whirling thoughts as survival mode kicked in. Kill or be killed. You stopped counting how many hits you got or how many bruises were forming on your body. It was primal and in your Grisha nature to protect those around you, and in that haste of battle you made your allegiance to Alina obvious.

There was no time to think about Aleksander. You weren't quite sure you wanted to think about him. He was on this skiff with you, on the opposing side that just murdered a town full of people yet the part of your brain, your imagination, craved to be by his side. To please him by obeying, to get his touch in return. You were addicted to the man who had ruined your innocence.

'You betrayed me' His voice was right behind you as was his hand, creeping up the side of your throat and forcefully pushing you against the barrier of the skiff, ready to throw you over to the unlit Fold.

'I betrayed you?!' Your shout was loud and hearty, overflowing with sadness and shame at being relieved for being next to him again. You clawed at his tightening hand, feeling your airways restrict and your vision become fainter and fainter. You would die at the hands of the man you loved.

'Look what you made me do Y/N, do you think I want to kill you?' Your head bopped but your stupid heart grasped at the sadness in his words, he still loves me. 'I don't want to. I really don't'

'Then don't' you chocked out, your hold on his wrists becoming limp. You felt the ever-so familiar touch of his lips grace your temple and then he retreated.

The world went dark but your body hit the deck of the skiff, not the soft sands of the Fold and your lungs abruptly filled with forced Squaller air.

Yes, I did it to myself, yeah

Thought you were somebody else

'What are you going to do now?' You still sat by the fire while everyone stood. Zoya had left your side and was talking with Alina but you filtered out the noise. Your head was too full of your own self-hatred to stand any more voices so Jesper's question to you went unnoticed. 'Y/N?'

You looked at him and shrugged. You didn't want to move, your body still ached too much from being dragged away from the brink of death to make your way somewhere safe.

You would never admit it around anyone, but as Alina spoke of the Darkling being dead, a wave of grief washed over you. It was cold and unpleasant; unwelcome. But you knew love didn't disappear overnight. You didn't know who saved you on the skiff, whether it was he who had let you go, or was it Zoya who battled to have you freed from his grasp.

As much as you had created the Aleksander you viewed, the foundations were all him, you had only added on or omitted the parts you did and didn't like. You prayed it was him who spared you, you prayed there was something real about your Aleksander, that that was a foundation.

The tears that fell down your face in a stream were assumed to be for the betrayal and the horridness of what the Darkling had done to you and others, when if fact they were for him. You cried because you would never see him again, you cried because the people who had helped you get out of the Fold were the same people who had killed him.

-------

When Mal caught your deathly stare in his direction, he had to do a double-take. You had the same look in your eyes as the General did when he fought him in the Fold, that exact replica of coldness and rage; revenge. But surely he was wrong. You were happy to know the Heretic was dead. He betrayed you the most out of everyone here and almost killed you. Why would you be vengeful?

He waved it off with a shake, it's all in my head.

------

Masterlist

Taglist (Tell me if you want to be added!)

@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl @rosiethefairy @partiesandblurrypolaroids @ashwarren32 @s1xthirty @toujurespure @misselsbells06

[mewtwoandme]

Ok so I'm still transferring stuff (it's taking forever but I've suffered no mental breakdowns yet XD plus I'm nearly finished)

Wanted to fill you all in, I know I said I wanted to do more animatics and such but I think I'll put those on the back burner once again and return to the Newtwo arc, cause it's been on my mind for awhile and I only really have the motivation to pick back up on the arc right now. I blame my ADHD, my mind loves to just switch around to different projects lol. Also I want you guys' opinion on something. I've gotten several asks in the past if I would ever redraw and turn any of my old paper and pencil comics into digital art. And I know the most requested or the one people wanted to see most was Amber's arc, when she first arrived. That's been on my mind too and I've been considering it. But I also wanted to ask you guys, whenever I decide to tackle this project, if you want me to draw when Mewtwo actually rescued her in the lab?? (The reason why I haven't drawn the lab rescue in the past was because at the time I thought it would be to difficult to draw a laboratory... even now with digital art I still think it would be difficult but I'm willing to give it a shot and test my ability) this will be a later project of course, way after the Newtwo arc is over. But would you guys wanna revisit Amber's origin story plus the additional rescue?? Let me know ^^

[pekorosu]

just a lil “if ash lived” headcanon that i need to unload somewhere bc i've been holding it in for a long time

- set within the manga ‘verse

- takes place when ash and eiji are in their early 30s... so around the mid 1990s?

- i don’t get the weird animanga trope where older = longer hair, so they’re gonna look the same... maybe with slightly shorter hair bc they get regular haircuts now 

- (note: i've always interpreted long-haired eiji as symbolic of the fact that he couldn't move on from ash’s death)

- ash and eiji will continue living in the states, idk if still in NYC or somewhere else. they’ll move around a lot though.

- ash will mostly remain underground as he had to fake his death after lao’s stab, but he does it in a "hiding in plain sight" kind of way. only a handful of people know he’s still alive.  

- ash spends most of his time on the computer, mostly coding, hacking, being a nerd, among other fun stuff.

- he also takes on “jobs” anonymously, and occasionally from max (who’s still into investigative journalism) when he needs info that can only be obtained through Dubious Means.

- i also like to think that ash's a bit of a hacker robin hood lol. but he isn’t doing it purely out of the goodness of his heart, as part of it is a subconscious need to atone for his “sins” and cleanse the gnawing and persistent feeling of shame that gets amplified when he’s around eiji.

- also whatever he’s up to these days would ofc still be Highly Dangerous and Illegal, but it keeps him busy and would sate the part of him that’s still hungry for adrenaline without him having to engage in stuff like active bloodshed or substance abuse. basically that’s how i imagine he’d try to cope with life the only way he knows.

- eiji continues to do photography and other part time gigs bc he does not like the idea of mooching off ash forever, and he slowly makes a name for himself.

- ash and eiji live together but they are NOT together in a romantic sense... not yet >:)

- therefore eiji will probably date other people in the meantime, which gets a little troublesome bc it's not like he can bring them home to where his secret Very Important Friend is secretly hiding.

- ash will maybe have one-night stands every now and then. or not. idk. this isn’t a very important detail.

- anyway there will be lots of clueless but mutual pining :)

- ash especially, is of the opinion that they should start living separately bc someone will eventually track him down, maybe someone who has a past or present grudge on him. combined with his current activities, it’s only a matter of time before eiji would unwittingly get dragged into his problems again.

- eiji is v adamantly against that plan bc he's sorta developed a debilitating sense of paranoia that ash might just get killed somewhere while he’s not looking. not that ash isn’t paranoid either, but his insecurities often tip the scale over to “eiji is safer away from me” than “with me”.

- basically they’re doing their whole “stay. no, leave. no, stay” dance all over again, but like, dragged out over MANY YEARS.

- you thought eiji’s letter would’ve cleared up any crossed wires? 

- HELL NO

- like yea, there was probably a beautiful honeymoon period of about a year or two after they reunited, before their respective trauma and issues started creeping in and fucking things up again.

- esp on ash’s end, i think he’d engage in a lot of self-sabotage. and eiji is only human, he has his own limits and baggage too.

- there will be a government conspiracy plotline but on a smaller scale compared to canon that i am unfortunately not knowledgeable enough to worldbuild on, but it will probably have something to do with cybercrime/cyberterrorism/stuff like that bc it needs to tie in with ash's hacking shenanigans.

- i've heard that sing ends up becoming some sorta political big shot in yasha? idk, i haven't read it myself, but since china’s rising status was mentioned in GoL i imagine the plot should relate to that somehow.

- therefore sing would also get to be in this story! 

- i guess this means yut-lung would come into the picture at some point as well, and it would be a good opportunity for a redemption arc but i haven’t given it much of a thought bc i’m indifferent to his character orz SORRY.

- look i can’t do plot, but i am basically envisioning a political thriller with a side of slow burn romance (wait, you mean like a rehash of canon?)

- i’m thinking max is the one who kicks off the story by bringing something fishy to ash, and they just end up uncovering more and more and MORE stuff as they keep going.

- so for like 80% of the story, ash and eiji will be separated bc ash will be busy spying or infiltrating something... and being at the center of Plot Things, while max and eiji will be more on the outside dealing with the journalist side of things. i’m fond of max-ash interactions but i’m also REALLY CURIOUS about max-eiji’s dynamic :D

- meanwhile sing will be like, half in and half out i imagine. he's versatile like that lol

- ...i did NOT mean that in a dirty way

- anyway, this will provide ash and eiji ample space to work out their issues separately, as i think living in close quarters for so many years has actually been aggravating them. ofc those issues don’t get 100% resolved by the end, but some time apart from each other to cool off and spend with other people should provide a bit of perspective.

- i want ash to make some NEW FRIENDS (!!!) that are on the same wavelength as him bc there’s only so much that he can tell eiji and i’m sure he gets rather lonely, so there will be OCs that he will meet in the middle of Plot Things.

- ash will get trapped at some point. preferably with sing so they can have a much needed heart-to-heart talk. they’ll have a lot to hash out, ranging from the events in BF, shorter’s and lao’s death, all the way to ash’s love life. 

- btw i like the idea of eiji and sing being close drinking buddies who confide in one another but ash is kinda, justalittle, not very happy about that LOL 

- i mean, it's not like eiji can confide in ash when ash is the topic at hand, ya get me? as for sing, he’s similar to ash in the sense that they live dangerous lives, so i imagine he just finds it nice to be able to hang out with someone mundane like eiji every now and then.

- not to say that ash and sing aren’t talking to each other at all, but i think they’d have a bit of a rift between them. sing probably does feel some resentment, both at ash for killing lao AND at himself bc he knows deep down that given a choice, he would’ve saved ash over his own brother. ash can sense that tortured vibe, so eiji’s like their middle man. AND THAT’S WHY THEY NEED A HEART-TO-HEART TALK

- (SIDE NOTE: i want akira to have a role in this too. i actually have a separate headcanon that happens prior to this story... kinda like an alternate GoL? 

akira goes to the states to visit eiji, but ash is also there, yeah? akira and ash start out sorta prickly with each other bc ash is all weird and standoffish and always cooped up in his room. she probably mistook him as a jobless model mooching off eiji at first since 1) eiji and ibe have never spoken about him back in japan (cuz he’s supposed to be dead), 2) why would eiji be living with some random hot guy? unless they met during one of his photography gigs? right??? 

and then she ends up witnessing them in the middle of a tiff, which makes her not like ash even more bc HOW DARE HE YELL AT POOR OKUMURA-SAN??? UNGRATEFUL JERK!!!

but over the course of her visit, she snoops around learns a bit about their history and gathers hints as to why their r’ship is kinda strained. also ash and akira somehow end up bonding (reluctantly) over their emotional insecurities and part on a friendly rivalry to win over eiji’s affections (which eiji is completely oblivious to. also akira may have been 100% serious but ash was just jokingly playing along with her (OR WAS HE???)). anyway long story short, ash teaches akira some cool tech/IT stuff along the way so that leads to her gaining an interest in the field. 

she won’t be able to do much in this story, but a minor role would be cool :)

 ^ a lighthearted gyoza-making scene amid all the angst)

- (SIDE NOTE #2: i ALSO want cain to feature in this, but bc canon provided very little bg info on him it’s hard for me to figure out where he’d fit. but i suppose that’s precisely why it would be great to include him, since i can just make up my own backstory! lol. for now, i think he should be connected to one of the new OCs to make him more central to the plot. or heck, he can be involved himself! ...yeah, i’m just salty about how cain was treated more like a convenient plot device compared to the other major side characters. we barely know anything about him even though he was one of ash’s most trusted allies. #caindeservedbetter2k20)

- anyway, back to the main story. ash (and his new "friends") barely escape where they’re held hostage. ash would be rusty with combat now as he’s spent the past few years doing only stealth work and being rather sedentary. 

- so there’ll be lotsa old man!ash jokes like them poking fun at him whenever he complains about his back hehe

- when they finally emerge outside they find themselves in the middle of nowhere! they then hijack a passing pickup truck and do a roadtrip back to civilisation. ROAD TRIP FTW

- at this point, quite some time has already passed and ash even has a fuzzy beard and mane and all. he’s standing at the back of the truck with a small smile on his face and the wind blowing in his hair, thinking GONNA GO BACK AND SEE EIJI, MISS HIM LOADS, HELL YEA 

- (bonus: this song and this scene is the catalyst for this entire headcanon btw)

(drew this about a year ago. i was trying to imitate the manga’s art style... and the ash i had in my mind was a little different. i’m too lazy to redraw, but he’s fuzzier now okay! MORE FUZZ! like an actual freakin LION!)

- meanwhile, eiji and max will get into some deep shit around this point? 

- eiji in the pic above was me imagining that the Bad Guys had tossed some damning evidence (eg. severed body part?) on the ground like “ash’s dead/ash’s in a lot of danger now so hand over all the info u have”

- and eiji and max are like. SHOOKETH

- this would be the 3rd time ash has “died” after all, and as they say... 3rd time's the charm...

- eiji almost gives in, but then max spits in their face like fuck no and then... yeah. they get beat up and taken away or something lol

- EDIT: hmm... what if the Bad Guy is someone IN the government, and he uses his power to get eiji and max arrested for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive (ash). and then ash has to rescue them... JAILBREAK STYLE

- also it might be cool to introduce ash's mom somewhere in this story... maybe SHE'S the villain! mwahaha *drama intensifies*

- anyways they will get saved by ash and gang bc that’s just the way things go, BUT! only on the condition they already made it out at least 80% of the way bc GODDAMN IT👏LET👏EIJI👏BE👏BADASS👏FOR👏ONCE👏 

- (that is, after he overcomes the initial shock of ash possibly being dead again... again...... again............)

- there will ofc be moments of “oh my god, you’re okay” "i thought i lost you...!"

- something like this, because one can never have enough cheesy reunion scenes

- this will eventually lead to REVELATIONS (of the romantic kind, yes) 

- buuuut they will never say "i love you" directly to each other bc ash is too emotionally constipated and eiji is too japanese. it's okay, they will communicate it through heated stares 👀

- i would love for there to be a scene where they have to be separated again for Plot Reasons and ash sorta hesitantly goes all "...will you wait for me?" as a direct parallel to canon!eiji's "i'll be waiting" and it’s like,

- FINALLY! 

- FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! ash has finally allowed himself to ask for this, to let himself want it! 

- and eiji would be like OF COURSE I WILL YOU BIG DUMMY, ALWAYS AND FOREVER

- but i think it'd be hilarious if eiji pops up while ash's in the middle of the final showdown and ash's like WTF I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME and eiji's like I WAS WORRIED OKAY YOU WERE TAKING SO LONG

- idk how this is supposed to end...

- oh wait! since the plot is government-related, maybe Someone will be able to pull strings to wipe out ash’s criminal record (past and present) and give him a brand new 100% legal identity, as thanks for his efforts? or maybe ash (or sing) just does it himself somewhere along the way LOL. anyway, he’ll be able to start over with a fresh clean slate and finally work on recovery FOR REAL NOW. yes this is a happy ending AND it didn’t require him to go to japan /flips off canon

- ...i realise it’s never going to be that simple but W H A T E V E R

- (also they probably will visit japan in the future with that shiny new passport... gotta meet the in-laws and all y’know)

- who do i gotta pay to write this cheesy self-indulgent fic for me

[technotic-prophecy]

I was recently informed that some people have a trigger to the concept of SHIFTING or Dream Reality. Please be advised that this is mildly discussed here, but this is mainly about my artwork and a fanfiction I want to write.

So please be know you have been warned

So I have an obsession with Loki, okay?

Soooo I have been in the process of making a "Shifting/Dream Reality"??? I have only successfully shifted realities twice, and the second time I didn't have enough control and it got dark so I had to get out :/

Both of those times were me sitting in the back of Dean Winchester's Impala talking with the boys

BUT I want to do a really in depth and complicated shift with Loki and the rest of the MCU. I do have a different type of connection with the MCU vs Supernatural, and I am very A-type about this sort of thing so it's taking me a while to actually work out the kinks. GOING WITH THAT I *am* writing a reader-insert fanfiction to describe the reality I want to shift into.

I was *heavily* influenced by with Mischief Meet Your Match

The main part of the story will occur on the comic canon world Clarius, which was featured heavily in the--sad--hatter's work. I just feel like it's fair to give credit where it's due.

I will be honest I have no idea how long this is going to take and I may have to get into the groove with some smaller fics or one-shots before tackling this monstrosity of a project while simultaneously adulting (it's hard)

ANYWHO

I did a bunch of drawings for my dream reality self. This will be an all inclusive fem!reader fic, so when I share it with the world I just want it to be clear that this is ME. I am pasty white with grey/hazel eyes and black hair. Obviously not everyone fits into that group, so the only personal connection to be made to this artwork is for the costuming. Even then I may redraw this a million other times anyways cause I don't even have the color scheme down (ugh).

So yes! Please enjoy and bear with me while I take forever to share this story. Like I said I am creating a shifting/dream reality and it's a lot of work to begin with. Okay that's enough of me ranting!!! Here's all my sketches and color config!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

2022 midterms and 2024 general

2022 is an important year because the House of Representatives is reapportioning itself; following the 2020 census, the states have been tasked with redrawing district maps to “reflect” the new population.  Partisan gerrymandering has been a problem for decades, but it has become a thoroughly entrenched problem following the 2019 Supreme Court decision that gerrymandering is outside the scope of federal courts; the 5-4 conservative majority decided that they can not and will not rule on the matter again, leaving it up to Congress and the states to figure it out.  Congress can’t get anything done, so a gerrymandering ban is all but impossible, meaning the states have total control over their new maps.  A majority of the states are controlled by Republicans, despite representing less than half the country; there are more smaller states than bigger states, so even though more people live in urban areas, the rural areas get the majority voice in the redistricting process.

This means that 2022 is going to be probably the worst gerrymandered year in American history; given that the Supreme Court has since changed to a 6-3 conservative majority, I don’t see them overturning their previous decision any time soon, meaning Republicans have an inordinate advantage going forward.

Let’s look at the 20th century as a guide to see if we can make any predictions.

1902: Republican Teddy Roosevelt is president, and the Republicans control both the House and Senate.  Following the election, they maintain control.

1912: Republican William Howard Taft is president, Republicans control the Senate, Democrats control the House.  At this time, both parties had liberal and conservative wings, and the Republicans were having a civil war between the liberal Roosevelt faction and the conservative Taft faction.  Roosevelt ran against his own party’s incumbent as a Progressive, a third party spoiler, giving the White House to the Democrats for the first time since the 1880s (and to a southerner for the first time since the Civil War).  Democrats kept the House and took back the White House and Senate, giving Woodrow Wilson the trifecta.

1922: Republican Warren G. Harding is president, Republicans control both the House and Senate.  This year is special because it is the first time in American history that the House was unable to reapportion itself after a census; there was a major battle across the country between rural and urban state legislatures, so Congress eventually passed a law in 1929 to set the number of House seats permanently at 435, the level it had reached by that time.  Before this, the House grew ever ten years, inflating with population; it has been stagnant ever since, making each Congress less representative than the one before it.  Republicans maintained control of the House and Senate.

1932: Republican Herbert Hoover is president, Republicans control the Senate, Democrats control the House.  Hoover was more or less single-handedly responsible for the Great Depression, refusing to give aid to the people, forever ranking him as one of the worst presidents in American history; he was soundly defeated by Franklin D. Roosevelt who dragged us out of the depression and jump started the economy during World War II, becoming one of the greatest presidents in American history.  Democrats won super-majorities in both the House and Senate, giving Roosevelt all but unlimited power (the only thing keeping him from literally becoming a king was that Democrats were still split between the more liberal north and the conservative south).

1942: Democrat Franklin D. Roosevelt is still president, on his third term, and Democrats still control the House and Senate.  They maintain control after the election.

1952: Democrat Harry S. Truman is president, but the recently passed 22nd Amendment forbid him from running for a third term.  This is the first reapportionment year of the century without an incumbent president running for re-election; Democrats still control the House and Senate.  After 20 years of Democratic rule, the country elects Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower a war hero and basically America Incarnate. He was everything they wanted in a president; he was manly, intelligent, anti-communist, super Christian, and racially tolerant.  Republicans took back the White House, the House and Senate, giving Eisenhower the trifecta.

1962: Democrat John F. Kennedy is president, and Democrats control both the House and Senate.  They maintain control after the election.

1972: Republican Richard Nixon is president, but Democrats maintain control of both the House and Senate.  Nixon stole this election by hiring goons to break into the Democratic headquarters and steal dirt on his political opponent (Watergate Scandal).  His campaign forged a letter from his strongest rival Edmund Muskie of Maine, in which they made it look like he was insulting the French-Canadian population, which would be like someone from Florida insulting Cubans, or someone from California insulting Mexicans.  Muskie cried giving a speech denouncing the letter, imploding his campaign.  The Democrats instead went with the unpopular George McGovern of South Dakota, a political nobody; Nixon hurt HIS campaign by revealing that his running mate Thomas Eagleton had depression and previously underwent electro-shock therapy, runing his career and forcing McGovern to replace him at the last minute with Sargent Shriver, whose main claim to fame was being married to John F. Kennedy’s sister.  Nixon won in a landslide, winning 49 states including South Dakota.  Nixon failed to cover up his crimes and resigned in 1974 before he could be impeached.  Democrats kept both the House and Senate.

1982: Republican Ronald Reagan is president.  Republicans control the Senate, but Democrats control the House.  Both parties keep their respective chambers following the election.

1992: Republican George H.W. Bush is president, and Democrats control both the House and Senate.  Bush is nowhere near as popular as Reagan was, riding his coattails into office and then stumbling through his first term.  During his campaign he said “read my lips: no new taxes.”  During his term he created new taxes.  Whoops.  He cared more about foreign policy than domestic, but still fumbled the Gulf War; we pushed Saddam out of Kuwait (yay), but then overthrew the Kuwaiti government (boo).  The war had so much buildup; it was the only thing reported on TV for weeks and months, and it was over in days, so everyone was like “what was the point?”  He may still have won re-election were it not for Ross Perot; a businessman from Bush’s own Texas, he ran the most successful third party campaign in modern history.  He didn’t win any states, but he had national appeal where former third-partiers only had regional appeal; he split the ticket in all 50 states, meaning that Bush and Democratic rival Bill Clinton won multiple states with less than 50% of the vote.  Clinton was a charismatic young southern Democrat in direct opposition to old pretender Bush (he was a new Englander pretending to be a Texan).  Democrats won the White House, and kept both chambers of Congress, giving Clinton the trifecta.

2002: Republican George W. Bush is president (the H.W.’s son), and while the Republicans control the House, the Senate is split 50-50 for the first time in history.  This should mean that Republican control the Senate because Dick Cheney was VP, but midway through 2001, Vermont Republican Jim Jeffords left the party to become an independent and caucus with the Democrats, giving them an effective 51-49 majority (fun fact: Jeffords was eventually succeeded by none other than Bernie Sanders).  Bush Jr. was a warmonger who wanted to “redeem” the Bush family legacy by finishing what his daddy started; he used the tragedy of 9/11 as a pretense to go to war with Iraq so he could topple Saddam, even though Iraq had nothing to do with the attacks, had no ties to al-Qaeda, and possessed no WMDs.  Republicans kept the House and narrowly won back the Senate after the election.

2012: Democrat Barack Obama is president.  Democrats control the Senate, but Republicans control the House.  Both parties keep their respective chambers, but Democrats win a handful of new House seats despite the re-districting.

2022: Democrat Joe Biden is president (in the event of an unforeseen tragedy, it might be Kamala Harris).  Democrats control the House and Senate by razor-thin margins, meaning single-digit rebels could deadlock Congress entirely.  It is very likely the Republicans will take back the House, and I give both parties a dead even chance of winning the Senate.  Democrats are certainly going to lose Georgia and possibly Arizona, but could pick up Pennsylvania and maybe even Wisconsin; Pennsylvania is open because the Republican incumbent is retiring, but the Wisconsin incumbent is running for re-election, so that one will be an uphill battle.  Those two are their best shots; maybe North Carolina (no incumbent), maybe Florida (yes incumbent), but I wouldn’t hold my breath.  There’s a non-zero percent chance Congress could remain deadlocked 50-50.  It depends on if Biden/Harris get anything substantive done this year.

It appears that the majority party in the House has the advantage going into the next re-districting cycle, but it has never been this close before and it fails to account for the Republican Revolution in the 80s and 90s.  The Democrats maintained control of the House for 60 years, then Bill Clinton took office and the Republicans reorganized themselves in opposition to everything he stood for (even in the areas where he stood with them).  Newt Gingrich took the Republican party from defense to offense, changing the playbook so they cared less about policy and more about culture; since then, instead of running for stuff, Republicans run against stuff.  Their entire platform became “oppose Democrats,” with no real plan besides doing the opposite of what the other party wants to do; remind you, in 2016 Barack Obama nominated Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court because he was a politically neutral choice who Republicans had no qualms against, they just refused to seat him because they hated Obama.  Trump was a symptom of this backpedaling, he helped narrow the Republican platform even more, to the point that they didn’t change a thing between 2016 and 2020.  That’s unheard of; a lot changed between then and now, and they didn’t feel the need to update ANYTHING, no new ideas, no new promises, just more of the same.  It worked in 2016, and they thought it would work again in 2020, but then the pandemic hit and unemployment spiked to Great Depression levels and we entered a recession, turning Trump from Ronald Reagan to Herbert Hoover.  It is historically difficult to defeat incumbent presidents, Trump was just a wildly unpopular idiot, and Biden was inoffensive and pretty close to politically neutral (he’s a moderate Democrat who is convinced he can work with Republicans even though their MO is still to oppose him on principle; they will NEVER work with him).

2024 seems so far away, but we’re already getting a taste at what it may look like.  If Trump decides to run again, he will absolutely win the Republican nomination; if he runs again, no other candidate will even try to throw their hat in the ring, they worship at his feet, they’d never dare oppose him.  In that case, it will be a rematch between Biden and Trump, which hasn’t gone to the challenger since Grover Cleveland won a nonconsecutive second term in 1892.  Trump will lose the popular vote for the third time, but could eke by with a slim Electoral College victory if Republicans in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Georgia implement their anti-voting laws.  If Biden doesn’t run for a second term, the Democratic nomination will absolutely go to Kamala Harris, meaning it’ll be Harris v Trump, a repeat of Clinton v Trump in 2016.  A competent but politically moderate woman pretending to be a left-wing progressive will be torn apart by the media, third party candidates will be treated like real challengers, and the republicans will take the White House with a minority vote for the third time in a row (the last time a Republican won the presidency with a majority vote was George H.W. Bush in 1988.  Bush Jr was re-elected with a majority vote in 2004, but he lost his initial race in 2000 and was given the victory by the Supreme Court.  Democrats have won 7 of the last 8 elections, but have only seated 3 presidents).

Biden v Trump is up in the air

Harris v Trump will probably go to Trump

If Trump doesn’t run, then the Republican race may be as crowded as it was in 2016, only this time the dozen or so candidates will be vying for an endorsement from Trump.  Whoever he picks will become the nominee, so over the next year or two we can expect a ton of right-wing nutjobs to try and position themselves as his heir apparent.  Some people think it will be one of his adult children, Don Jr or Eric or maybe Ivanka, but they’re not quite as popular as their dear old dad, and he hates them anyway (he hates Don Jr because he has the same name as him, he hates Eric because he’s a bigger idiot than he is, and he wants to fuck Ivanka’s brains out).  More likely, the nomination will go to a far-right sycophant like Ted Cruz who came in second behind Trump in 2016, or Ron DeSantis who is positioning himself as Trump’s #2 guy in Florida.  Rick Scott is also vying for that position, so he could give DeSantis a run for his money, and senators generally perform better than governors, so I’d watch them closely.  It won’t be a moderate Republican; that will never happen again.  They ran moderates in 2008 and 2012 and they got their asses handed to them by Obama, their wing of the party has all but evaporated, there are no viable moderate Republicans anymore, so blue-state Republican governors like Hogan (MD), Scott (VT, no relation), and Baker (MA) don’t stand a chance.  Trump IS the Republican party, so what he says goes.  It’ll be a competition to see who can suck up to him the hardest and win over his base, but it’s not a race Trump will leave quietly.  He could be a kingmaker, but that would mean giving up his spot as leader of the party, something he doesn’t want to do.  If he doesn’t run, he’ll still basically be running vicariously through whichever candidate gets the nomination; it’ll be a Trump puppet, Diet Trump, store brand Trump “sorry we’re out of Coke, is Pepsi okay?”  They’ll never be as popular as the real thing, and Biden will have the incumbency advantage after rescuing the country from the pandemic and the recession, so 2024 is the Democrats’ to lose.

I predict that Biden will be re-elected in 2024, but Republicans will take back both chambers of Congress.  He will resign halfway through his second term due to declining health, making Harris the first female president, who will then lose handily in 2028 against a Republican woman (both will face misogyny, but the Republican will be white, so she’ll have it easier).  Biden and Harris will seat no Supreme Court justices after 2022, so Breyer needs to retire RIGHT THE FUCK NOW or else he’ll become the next Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  When the Republicans take back the White House, Clarence Thomas will probably retire and be replaced by a young black woman who is even more conservative than he is, just to stick it to the Democrats.  Roberts and Alito (conservative), and Kagan and Sotomayor (liberal) are relatively young, so they won’t be leaving anytime soon, and Trump’s 3 appointees are stuck for decades, so Breyer will be the only liberal vacancy in the foreseeable future; if Democrats replace him, the court remains 6-3 conservative, but it will put them in a better position going forward.  If Republicans replace him, they’ll get 7-2 conservative, which would be bad for women (especially trans women), the rest of the LGBT community, black people, immigrants, poor people, and everyone else who isn’t explicitly a Republican demographic.

If Democrats want to swing the country away from fascism, they need to act decisively and soon!  Nuke the filibuster, pus through electoral reform, expand the Supreme Court, get rid of the Electoral College, ensure that no party can rule without majority support ever again.  This would almost certainly lead to a civil war as conservative shit their pants with fear over having to campaign on popular ideas for once; the states would push back hard, the courts would push back hard (McConnell and the Republicans packed the courts by refusing to let Obama seat anyone after 2015, accruing hundreds of vacancies for Trump to fill), and Trump’s base would fight back hardest of all.  They would make January 6th look like child’s play, it would be a total bloodbath, all out revolution!  We need a constitutional convention to overhaul the system, but that would create more questions than answers, and the conservative minority would still weasel their way into power through compromises just as they’ve always done.  The senate is disproportional to appease conservatives, black people counted as 3/5 of a person to appease conservatives, free and slave states were admitted in equal number to appease conservatives, reconstruction was ended to appease conservatives, appeasement is the only way conservatives prosper!

[lettersnorth]

FFXIVWrite 2020 Prompt #22: Argy-Bargy

“This is getting ridiculous. We need a new separator.” 

“You say that every time this breaks down.” 

“It’s the third time this fortnight. It’s beyond time.” 

“Look, you know that. I know that. But what’re we going to do about it? We’re here to fix the machines. If anything, look at it as job security.” 

“U’Rahna’s gone. Maybe Cooper would be more amenable to, I don’t know, keeping the operation actually running?” 

“U’Rahna, Cooper, it doesn’t matter. People at the top don’t care about the details. They just want the results.”

Aislinn had had enough. She wiggled out from the filthy, rusted separator chute and set her wrench on the toolbench with the exacting carefulness of someone who had realized they’d just run out of fucks to give. 

Seeing her footsteps moving for the door, Kikirifi slid out from the underbelly of the decrepit machine. “Where’re you going?!” he demanded. 

“To talk to Cooper.” 

In his rush to scramble off the floor and hurry after her he dropped his tools so fast they may as well have been burning coals. “Don’t do that. Why would you do that? There’s no point.” 

“It’s going to need to be replaced eventually, Kiki. Despite what everyone around here seems to think, nothing lasts forever.” she said over her shoulder as she strode down the hall and up the stone staircase. 

He puffed after her, having to work twice as hard to keep up. “And when it finally kicks the bucket, Stark Oak’ll handle Cooper. Not you. I shouldn’t have to remind you about the chain of command, you’ve been here long enough.” 

“Years, Kiki.” she snapped. “Not just ‘long enough’. I’ve been tied up in this for years.” 

“All the more reason not to fly off the handle! You should know better. Are you listening to yourself?!” 

“You’re being ridiculous. I am not ‘flying off the handle.’ I just think enough’s enough.” 

He opened his mouth to say more but it came out as a squeak as he looked up and realized they stood before the door to the back office. Before he could stop her, not that he had figured out how he would do so, she had pushed open the door and walked inside. She hadn’t even bothered to knock. 

Stark Oak was going to kill him. He was supposed to be in charge when the Hellsguard was away. The next one in line who had worked with the machines the longest. However, managing machines and managing people were two very different things. Especially this one, this girl who just wouldn’t settle down and accept her lot in life. He should have known from the start. In his experience red heads were nothing but trouble. He peered around the door frame and into the office, trying to blend in with the wood. 

Cooper looked up from U’Rahna’s desk or rather, his desk, now that U’Rahna was gone. Dead. Shot in the back. Possibly by one of her own men. Kiki narrowed his eyes as he studied her one-time lieutenant and right-hand man. He couldn’t be sure it was Cooper. That was the problem, no one could be sure. But, he wouldn’t put it past the man. 

For his part, Cooper in turn studied the frazzled little thing that had just planted herself in front of his desk, his amber gaze taking in her stained coveralls, grease smudged face and that look in her eye that clearly said she had bone to pick. 

“Well, what’s got you comin’ in here spitting and hissing, North?” 

“Separator’s broke again. That’s the third time in near a moon. We need a new one.” she said, blunt and matter-of-fact. Diplomacy had never been her strong suit. 

“Stark Oak say that?” he asked, looking down at the papers on his desk. 

“No. But I am.” she returned. 

“Well now, duly noted.” the flat note in his voice making it clear no note whatsoever had been taken, duly or otherwise. 

A violent, frustrated push of air through her nose. “Every time it goes down, production halts. When it goes down, it’s down for, on average, eight bells at a time given that we need to take it all apart. That’s if we don’t have to find a replacement part for the thing. That’s an 8% reduction in production. This moon alone. And the machine isn’t going to get any younger. It’s only going to continue breaking down, no matter what we do.”

She had his attention now. He looked up from his papers and stared at her like she was a beastkin who had suddenly learned the power of speech. 

“Which means production is in a downward trend until the machine is replaced. Every moon it’s costing the cartel money. A new one would pay for itself within two moons, three tops.” 

There was a beat of silence in which she could feel him retaking her measure, redrawing the lines and reformulating what he knew. Aislinn only hoped it was in the direction she wanted and she hadn’t misjudged what she herself knew of Cooper. He had always struck her as more reasonable than U’Rahna. Not that something like that was saying much. A drunken bobcat could be more reasonable than U’Rahna. 

“You’ve been thinking about this awhile or did those figures just come to you?” 

“I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. Several suns worth this month alone, as I said.” she replied. 

He nodded, rolling his jaw this way and that as if he had just taken a bite of something and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. 

“I’ll talk to Stark Oak.” he finally said. 

She hesitated, clearly having been ready to argue more. If it was U’Rahna there would have been a shouting match, to be sure. Of course, if U’Rahna had still been in this office Aislinn likely wouldn’t have even bothered to waste her breath. The head of steam she had worked up dissipated. 

“Right.” she glanced over her shoulder to where Kikirifi still stood, inconspicuously trying to spy around the corner of the door. He motioned frantically for her. “Guess I’ll get back to it.” 

“That’d be best.” Cooper said, dryly amused now that he had taken the wind out of her sails. “Wouldn’t want Kiki to go havin’ himself a heart attack.” 

The lalafell paled and vanished from sight. 

[kinomiakai]

i know it's a lot to ask but i'm very sad at the moment and don't know how to handle it - and i have birthday on the 9th august. would it be possible to get a (vampire) one shot from you? it would be so great but i understand if that's too much to ask for. ahh its a dumb thing to ask but it would make me very happy so i wanted to try sorry!!!

    Sasuke was tired.

    Not because of the night classes—no, he was pretty well-suited to those. He’d been nocturnal for as long as he could remember. And what they were doing wasn’t particularly challenging—just some poses, and Sasuke was acquainted well enough with the human body. It was nice to look at, Sasuke thought, and he liked to spend the time to learn all the different shapes that people could be. He liked to spend the time to look at them. There wasn’t much that made him feel motivated, nowadays, and it was hard enough for him to live on the schedule he’d come to have as it was. This was the first hobby he’d managed to have since…well, it was the only one he had now.

    So—no, Sasuke wasn’t tired from class.

    He sighed again, forcing himself to move on for once. He’d spent thirty of the last forty minutes drawing and redrawing the model’s neck, over and over again. He already had a tendency to do that, and he was trying to learn not to. Everyone else had managed a full…

    “Alright, that’s it for today!”

    Crap.

    Sasuke sighed, and packed his things into his small, well-worn bag. He’d quit his job last week—or, well, they’d politely asked him to get the hell out of there once his I.D. had finally fell through. He’d very much appreciated the dim lights of the bar, especially alongside the added bonus of drunk, half-conscious people, but Sasuke had been starting to think the constant alcohol was getting to him. It tasted worse from them. Easier to get, though, and he didn’t have to hurt anyone too badly to get it, but he tended to need…more of it.

    He hadn’t liked that.

    Of course, now, he didn’t have that option as accessible. It was still there. He could still do it—still prowl the streets to look for easy targets and stifle the part of his mind that hated every second of it. It was a last resort, though, which is why he was so…

Tired. 

Tired and hungry and a little bit dizzy, and staring at a naked man’s neck for the past three hours really hadn’t helped. Go figure.

    He put his hood up and slipped through the door, keeping an eye on the ways everyone went—groups of three, four, five, six—one person there? No, a couple. Shit. 

    Sasuke leaned against the wall and pulled out his phone—which he’d naively continued to pay for, with the little money that he had, in spite of having a grand total of zero numbers to call—pretending to scroll his way through some screen or another. There were still a few students left in the class, so with just a bit of luck—

    A body breezed past him, tucking two earbuds in. Good sign. A casual jacket hung off his shoulders, left unzipped—no necklaces to watch out for, either. Sasuke watched as the man walked a few more lazy steps, staring down as his phone as if picking a song, before promptly turning down the alleyway Sasuke had had his eye on for weeks.

    Alright, then. The blond it was.

    Sasuke pushed himself off the wall and imitated his own slow, distracted walk. He turned his phone screen off as he continued to stare down at it, letting his eyes get used to the night again—it took longer when he was tired, when he was like this, and he only had about another two minutes before the two of them would be back in the public eye again—he sped up his pace. He had almost mastered getting to them before they could notice—

    “Wh—hey, the fuck are you—”

    Shit. Sasuke was sloppy and stupid and the man wrenched his shoulder from Sasuke’s grip as soon as he’d felt the heat of his skin at his lips—Sasuke grabbed at him but only caught his jacket—the man spun around with a punch that Sasuke would have dodged if not for the jacket wrenching him in—

    His nose would have bled, if he’d had enough blood left. As it was, he was dizzy and desperate and too far in to—

    The man pinned Sasuke to the wall with his forearm, keys in his other hand. And a swiss army knife? For god’s sake. Of all the—

    “Picked the wrong person to…what the hell?”

    The man flinched back. Whether it was Sasuke’s eyes or his fangs that did the trick, he didn’t know. At least he hadn’t stabbed him, though.

    Still—

    “The hell’s wrong with your eyes?” the man asked, eyes wide, brow furrowed, knife in his hand.

    “Probably the same that’s wrong with your brain, moron,” Sasuke snapped, sliding down the wall. He’d barely had the fight in him for that, and now his nose fucking hurt on top of it all. He felt slow and exhausted and fuck this—

    “Wh—you—I’m the moron?! I just kicked your ass!”

    “And you’re sticking around to find out what happens next?” Sasuke spat, pulling his hood back up. “Get out of here.”

    Sasuke closed his eyes.

    “I’m not going to turn my back so you can get another go, you know. I’m not stupid.”

    “Great,” Sasuke said, tucking his head between his legs. “Stay here forever then.”

    The pain pulsed between Sasuke’s eyes—in time with his consciousness, waving in and out. He’d been spacing out and losing his vision and—

    “Are you…okay?”

    Sasuke looked up, incredulous.

    “Are you serious?”

    “Well I’m not gonna let you die here—I’ll—there’s a hospital near here—”

    “I don’t need a hospital,” Sasuke snapped, “either kill me or leave.”

    There was a pause.

    Sasuke closed his eyes again.

    “What were you going to do to me?”

    Oh, for god’s sake.

    “What do you think, genius?” Sasuke asked, keeping his eyes closed. Maybe if he just fell asleep…

    “You—come on. There’s no way.”

    “You’re right,” Sasuke said. “There’s no way. So you should leave before the unhinged lunatic wakes up again.”

    “…Is the unhinged lunatic going to wake up again if I leave?”

    Sasuke opened his eyes only to glare.

    “Your eyes are back to normal,” said the blond, knife still in his hand.

    “And yet your brain remains firmly rooted in insanity. Leave me alone.”

    “I’m serious,” the blond said, stepping forwards—and Sasuke flinched back, hitting his head to the wall, as the knife moved closer, “I—oh, shit, no, I’m not gonna—I mean I—”

    The man’s mouth opened and closed, as if trying to decide whether to appease Sasuke’s delicate sensibilities, or continue to defend himself from an obvious threat.

    “You know I attacked you, right?”

    The blond continued to watch him.

    “You don’t look too happy about it.”

    Sasuke rolled his eyes.

    “Yes,” he drawled. “It ended rather differently than intended.”

    The man’s head inclined to the side, as if he was scanning Sasuke for something—

    “I would have expected you to run,” he said, “after I—y’know—pulled a knife on you and all that.”

    Sasuke didn’t reply.

    “You can’t run, can you?”

    Sasuke didn’t reply.

    “Can you even stand?”

    “Are you getting off on this?” Sasuke snapped, the wave of anger making him feel even more light-headed than before. “Leave.”

    The man crouched in front of him. Sasuke flinched back.

    “Hey,” he said, reaching out an empty hand. “Make your eyes do the thing again.”

    Sasuke stared at him. The man’s wrist came closer. And he could hear the blood humming under his skin, feel the heat of it, he—

    “You don’t know what you’re doing,” he said quickly, desperately—

    “Hey,” said the guy, “they do glow. Cool.”

    “You’re insane,” Sasuke breathed.

    “I’ve still got a knife and I’m not gonna let you die. I save your life and you won’t turn me into one, yeah?”

    “I have no idea how to even do—are you—” Sasuke stared at him, “are you serious?”

    The man waved his wrist in front of his face—Sasuke snatched it out of the air before he even had another thought.

    “Ooh, fangs too—wh—o-oh…”

    Finally. Finally. Sasuke nearly collapsed with relief—he fell forwards, clutching the wrist to his mouth, groaning into the warmth—god, he’d been so—

    “Okay—that’s—that’s enough. That’s—”

    Sasuke let out a small half-strangled noise as the wrist pulled itself away. As the man pulled his wrist away, fuck, it was like he lost it in moments like this—

    “That’s—I mean, uh, was that enough…?”

    The haze in Sasuke’s mind slowly, slowly cleared.

    “I…” he said, staring up into the blue eyes he hadn’t even noticed before—and the marks, on his cheeks, oh— “oh. You’re the one who’s always in class.” 

    The blond pulled back.

    “Wh—yeah, ‘cause my dad owns the place—that’s the thanks I get for saving your life?”

    The man waved his wrist in the air and stared Sasuke down expectantly. 

    The corner of Sasuke’s lip twitched.

    “…Thanks,” he said finally. 

    “That’s better. S’weird though,” he said, bringing his hand back to him, “it didn’t hurt at all. I barely felt anything.”

    Sasuke let out a breath, feeling the weight in his body slowly, slowly draining out of him. He hadn’t felt that bad since he’d woken up.

    “That’s the general idea,” he said quietly. At least, he thought it was. He hadn’t gotten good enough to pick the arteries from the veins, but he’d at least minimized his impact as much as possible…when he wasn’t entirely desperate. “You should go.”

    “Hm?”

    “You’re going to be light-headed for a while. Go make it home.”

    “Oh—well—yeah, I’ve donated blood before, I know that. Are you gonna be—?”

    Sasuke snorted and shoved himself off the filthy (and wet, ugh, he hadn’t noticed it had been wet) floor.

    “I’m fine,” he said, giving the blond a challenging look. In debt or not, Sasuke was dangerous. Surely the man knew that.

    “Hey—can I see your teeth again?”

    What the hell—

    “You have the self-preservation of an opossum in the middle of a road.”

   The man laughed and moved closer.

   “Yeah, I’m a real dumbass—my friends tell me all the time. Open your mouth—lemmie see.”

   He moved closer, and—

   “Oi—you—” Sasuke said, flinching back, “get your hands out of my mouth—”

   “Ooh, they are kinda sharper, aren’t they? Not as much as when you bit me, but—”

   “They will be in a second if you don’t stop shoving your fingers at them—”

   That did the trick, and Sasuke stared him down with a significantly sharper gaze. Just because he was satiated didn’t mean he was full, and this idiot was waving himself in front of him like a—

   “Oh,” the man said, staring at him as if— “you’re scared you’re actually going to hurt me.”

   “Wave a steak in front of a rabid dog and see how it ends for you.”

   The man’s head tilted to the side, watching him with eyes that seemed too serious for that smile—

   “You don’t seem too rabid to me.”

   “I just,” Sasuke started, speaking slowly as if explaining something to a small child, “drank your blood. As food. With my mouth. I attacked you about two minutes prior to—”

   “And you let me win. You could’ve bit me anywhere—I only punched you once and you backed off.”

   “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

   “Yeah, you were,” the man said, “you were making sure you didn’t hurt me. You didn’t want to do it unless you knew I’d survive.”

   Sasuke glared at him. Fine. Fine, yes, he was utterly terrified one day that he’d completely lose himself, and he’d spent more than a few hours in a night making sure every person he knocked down could get back up again—

   “Fine,” Sasuke said, clenching his teeth together. “You’re right. Are you going to let me go, now?”

   “What am I, holding you hostage? You can go any time.”

   “You had a knife.”

“Still do, actually,” the man said, flicking it into his hand only to fold it away, “so don’t try anything, vampire.”

   Sasuke rolled his eyes.

   “Hey,” said the blond, “wanna help me find the headphones you so rudely ripped out of my ears?”

   He stuck the keychain into his pocket and shot Sasuke a wide, innocent grin. Sasuke sighed, but let his eyes flicker to life again, just for a moment—

   “They’re over there.” Sasuke nodded at them.

   “Aw, fuck that’s cool,” the man said, trotting over to unabashedly grab at the disgusting floor. “What else can you do? You got like—super speed or something? Do you age? Wh—I feel like we would’ve noticed if you had no reflection in class—”

   “That’s only a thing if the mirror is laced with silver, idiot.”

   The man’s mouth made a small ‘o’ shape. Sasuke’s lips twitched again.

   “And, uh, if it is?”

   “I don’t know,” Sasuke said. “I’ve never found one where I know that’s the case.”

   “Huh,” he said, “don’t you guys have like—a coven or some shit to teach you this stuff?”

   Sasuke’s good mood faltered. (He hadn’t known he was in one.)

   “None of your business. I’m leaving.”

   Sasuke turned on his heel, walking back the way he’d come. He’d be fine for at least a few days, now—and he really needed to find a new job before he was kicked back the gym membership he’d called rent—

   “See you next week, vampire!”

   Sasuke flipped him off.

    And he’d have to find a new hobby.

[crystaltoa]

This get real fucked up, real quick when you realise that your team has not had a single hero death since they joined. Come to think of it, none of your missions have had even a civilian die. You know your team is good, but is anyone really that good?

But then, at least one person dies sometimes, non-permanently, because you know when your colleague is doing a “rerun”. Why do the fatal attacks and accidents only happen to them?

And then you realise: They don’t.

You think about talking to them about it and stop. If they really are doing what you think they’re doing, chances are they would do the exact same thing to protect the secret. To make sure the thought never even occurred to you. You decide to wait until the following day.

But the next day is a nightmare from the get-go. You get called in to HQ at 5.00am, your colleague is already there, pawing over a city map covered in red crosses, frantically scrawling down names and addresses of possible kidnapping targets. There is no pattern, no rhyme or reason to the victims selected, not neighbourhood, race, gender, socioeconomic background.... only that they are all under the age of 12.

Something is different today. You’ve seen them tired, you’ve seen them stressed, but never like this. They look like they haven’t slept in a week. They stumble over their words, their eyes can barely focus on you. “ How many times has it been?” you ask gently. No answer. “ Who...” you stop. You wanted to ask “Who really died?” but you can tell that’s the wrong approach. ”Any other casualties?” you ask instead.

“The kids,” comes the choked reply. Your heart sinks. “This... this isn’t a hostage situation, it’s purely a show of power. Whoever’s behind this.... they can’t be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with. They take as many as they can, simultaneously. And they’re fucking everywhere, I swear. They have infinite backup targets, goons, locations, whatever. We set up an ambush in one location, they pop up in five other places...and I can’t... I can’t stop all of them, no matter how many times...”

“ How many times?” you ask again.

A shrug. “Stopped counting after 150.” Then they groan. ”I wasn’ t gonna tell you that. Now I gotta tell you everything again without that bit. Stupid. Stupid. Fuckin hell it’s always you. So fucking nosey. Wasted all that time talking, doesn’t even count now. Fuckin stupid.”

“You don’t have to take the pill now.”

That stops them in their tracks. It was a shot in the dark, but it made sense that it would be something quick and painless. So it was a pill.

Their hand darts instinctively to their utility belt, but you seize their arm before they can get it open. They’re sobbing uncontrollably now, but you don’t release your grip.

“ I’ve known for a while” you tell them.

“ Bullshit,” they hiss. Just how many times have they had a conversation like this with you?

“ I figured it out yesterday,” you clarify, somewhat sheepishly. This is greeted by a derisive snort, followed by a long, awkward silence as the meaning sinks in. Yesterday is gone forever. Yesterday can’t be changed. Now you know, and you always will.

Your other hand finds the small pouch and tears it from their belt. “Now, ” you say. “We’re going to come up with a plan. As a team. But first, you are going to take a fucking nap.”

“No, ” they whisper, “when I sleep...”

“When you sleep, your timeline becomes fixed and you can’t change it,” you continue. “I know. We can use that to our advantage. The kidnappings don’t begin until late afternoon, right? So, you can fix it so that I already know about them, you don’t have to tell me again if you get reset. You don’t have to redraw everything on the map, you don’t have to keep the names and addresses memorized. While you sleep, I can brief the rest of the team on what we know, and we’ll wake you up in an hour,” Or six, you think silently.

You’re prepared to knock them out with a sleeper hold if they object. Thankfully, they don’t. Instead, they crumple into you out of pure relief and exhaustion. Gently, you carry them over your shoulder and set them down on the break room couch.

You hesitate before getting back to the map room. Other colleagues will be arriving soon, and the sight of the body on the couch is bound to provoke curiosity. Really, really doesn’t help that they look exactly like somebody sleeping off a hangover. They might as well have a big neon “please steal my boots and sharpie my mask” sign above their head. So you adorn them with another sign instead. ” DO NOT DISTURB. EMERGENCY RECUPERATION” on a post it note, followed by a sketch of your symbol, stuck to the top of their mask. Just to underline the point, you remove your cape and drape it over the sleeping figure as a blanket. You co-workers know you wouldn’t do that for any old sloppy drunk.

You look down at the remains of the pill pouch you took from them. You understand why they do it. If your powers had worked that way, you might very well make the same choices. How could you let any mission continue when it was anything less than a perfect victory, if you had the chance to make it so? How many times have they watched you die in action? How many times did they die just to bring you back?

But these are questions for another time. Right now, there are plans to make, plots to thwart, lives to save. You know, in realistic terms, that this will not be the last time your colleague gives their life for another... it may not even be the last time today. But it will be the last time their sacrifice goes by unbeknownst to any other human being.

You’ve known for a while that the phrase ”you only live once” doesn’t always apply to people in your line of work. But however many times it is... for them... for you... for anyone else, each and every single one of them...

...will count.

In the vast world of comics, I wonder if there have been heroes with a “Groundhog Day,” type power. By that I specifically mean a hero who, if they die, immediately finds themselves waking up at the beginning of that day again. If they don’t die, they just continue forward through time.

I’m just thinking of how crazy it would be to have that hero on your super hero team. Like, you go to headquarters in the morning, and it seems like everything’s normal. But then you go to fire off a one liner, and they say it at the same time as you. And suddenly you know. Something went wrong.

And then one day you come in, and your heart drops as you see that their every move looks rehearsed. They answer questions before asked. They are totally aware of everything that’s about to happen. Imagine how scary that would be, realizing you’re starting a day that you’re team mate has failed to survive maybe dozens of times.