#been very hard to be creative these last 7 months

[budgebuttons]

outta my way gayboy I can fix her

(screenshot redraws)

[spicycinnabun]

pt. 1 2 3 5 6 7 💐

When Steve first started working at the flower shop, he had only been helping customers and taking their orders over the phone. Their small family business had grown quicker than anticipated, and Steve’s parents had needed the extra set of hands.

The shop had been a gift to his mother. It had been something she’d always wanted, but his dad had never agreed to, until finally, he had fucked up badly enough in their relationship and had funded it out of guilt.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that it turned out to be as successful as it was. Steve’s mom, Linda, was passionate and talented. She loved flowers and celebrations of any kind and maintained a big, beautiful garden at home.

It also helped that his father and mother were socialites. They had a lot of friends to support the business, spread the word, and make it b(l)oom. They had a great location in the mall with little competition around.

For good or bad, weddings, anniversaries, sickness and death, flowers were always there.

Steve had mostly helped after school, but it became his full-time gig once he’d graduated and hadn’t gotten into college. Due to the sheer volume of orders, his mother could no longer make the arrangements alone, so she’d taught Steve everything she knew.

From watching her over the years, Steve knew how to care for the flowers. He could prep them and nurture them. The creativity that came naturally to his mother took Steve a bit of time, but he eventually realized what looked good. Usually, it was the simpler arrangements. He was good at that.

Linda was very kind in general, always giving him positive feedback and encouragement instead of criticism. Steve was lucky to have her, especially since his father was so hard on him. She loved and cared for him unconditionally. While his father constantly tried to make him feel inferior, her belief in him built him up to be the strong, confident man he now was.

When his mom had to step back even more from the business to travel abroad with his dad, Steve suggested they hire Robin. Scoops hadn't been fun for her, probably ever, and Steve had missed her since graduating.

At first, Steve didn’t think he’d like working at the shop, but like a flower, it had grown on him. He liked helping people, talking to them, and most surprisingly, he liked the flowers and what he could do with them. While he liked roses—after he removed their thorns, of course—his true favorite was sunflowers.

Working there suited him. It was simple. It let him use his hands and mind in ways he hadn’t tapped into while in school or doing sports. He enjoyed the additive and subtractive aspects of flower arranging. His favorite part was the pruning. It was almost cathartic. He loved pulling and clipping off all the unnecessary parts and making them look perfect.

It took Steve a minute to recognize the man walking around the shop.

Last month, when he was working on the big window display, Steve had seen him for the first time. Guitar case, long rocker hair, enough rings and piercings to set off a metal detector fifty miles away… but Steve remembered it most because the guy had tried to say something to him through the glass. He had left before Steve had gotten the chance to go out and ask him what he’d said.

The second time, Robin had waited on the mystery man. Steve had just caught him walking out with a dozen Black-eyed Susans while he stood there, disgruntled, in his soil-stained apron.

This time—the third time—it was late, and Robin had already clocked out for the night. Steve was sick. He was in the middle of a cold and just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. But even though he wasn’t feeling good, he knew he still had to do his job. There were flowers to be sold.

So, mustering up a charming smile, Steve approached him. "Can I help you find anything today?"

🌷🪻🌻🌹

this part written by my stevie, @batty4steddie (psst, go check out her gorgeous st gifs too) 💕

[kpopfanfictrash]

The Ten Days of Ex-Mas (Teaser)

Posting Date: Tuesday, December 19th, 7:00 PM CT

Creative Collaborator: @kithtaehyung FOR THIS AMAZING BANNER!

Genre:  Holiday / Second Chance!AU / Hockey!AU

Pairing: Jimin / Reader (F)

Length: One Shot 

Synopsis: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.

Author’s Note: Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration!

Estimated WC: 45K (... whoops; this will probably be multiple parts)

Rating: 18+

Preview: 2,141

Y/N POV

You should have known better than to trust Namjoon with your dating life.

Yoongi never would have put you in this situation. The more level-headed of your two best friends, Yoongi approaches matters of the heart with the same rationality he does everything else. Namjoon, on the other hand, is a great guy – who is notoriously bad at reading other people.

The number of times you’ve been forced to step in and save him from phone scams is astounding. It’s not his fault, really – Namjoon trusts too easily, which doesn’t serve him well in this world. He’s always willing to give others the benefits of the doubt, which gets him into trouble. 

And now you, by extension, having accepted the blind date he proposed.

Mike Davis moved into Namjoon’s building two months ago, and Namjoon has been adamant since the start that you two would hit it off.

“He goes to all the same conventions you do,” he assured you last week on the phone.

“Which conventions?” you asked, squinting hard at the wall. “I know you’re not big into nerd culture, Namjoon, so as an FYI – not all cons are considered equal.”

Namjoon rattled off a few you’d attended, impressing you enough to agree despite the initial disinterest. This agreement may have been spurred by tonight being the three-month anniversary of the worst break-up of your life.

Almost as soon as you sat, you realized your mistake. While you may have reached a point where you don’t cry every time your ex’s name is mentioned, the prospect of dating someone else is an entirely different matter. Getting dressed up felt strange, as did traveling to the restaurant and waiting for Mike at the bar.

The fact that Mike called this place a ‘restaurant’ should have been your first clue, as Hat Trick is most definitely a sports bar – specifically, a hockey bar. Had you known (really, you should have known), you wouldn’t have gone, but you were nervous and trying to make a good impression. Upon arriving, you arranged yourself awkwardly on a sticky bar stool and waited seven minutes for Mike to walk in.

Nearly an hour later, you find yourself regretting coming at all. Mike excused himself two minutes ago for the bathroom and as soon as he left, you sagged with relief.

He’s a nice guy, you suppose. Good looking, with light brown curls and dark eyes. You can see why Namjoon thought he might be good for you – Mike is the exact opposite of your ex in many ways. Constantly frazzled, he arrived late to the bar, only to immediately duck outside because he forgot to pay the parking meter. Jimin was the type to unpack his suitcase immediately after reaching the hotel and brought several chargers in case one of them died.

Once the meter was paid, Mike sat down and immediately launched into his entire life story. You suppose you should have been happy about this, since lack of communication ended your last relationship but instead, found yourself overwhelmed. 

Mike finally paused for breath once your drinks arrived, allowing you a moment to answer his questions. The moment you said you ran a pretty popular cosplay TikTok, Mike instantly shifted from arrogant to insecure. 

“I can’t believe you came,” he exhaled with a shake of his head. “When Namjoon showed me your picture, I said no way would you go out with me. You’re way too beautiful.”

Somewhat awkward, you laughed. “Don’t try and get me to leave, now, Mike.”

His eyes widened, not catching your sarcasm and it took several moments to get back on track. Everything since has been downhill, so when he excused himself for the bathroom, all you felt was relief.

Digging through your purse, you pull out your phone and swipe to the group chat.

Y/N: Namjoon, WHAT possessed you to set me up with this man [7:46 PM]

Yoongi’s reply comes immediately.

Yoongi: told you it was too soon [7:46 PM]

Namjoon’s ellipses join in.

Namjoon: what! Why? What happened?? Mike didn’t try something on you, did he? [7:47 PM]

Y/N: no, no – nothing like that [7:47 PM]

Y/N: he just keeps saying how *amazing* I am and how he doesn’t know why I’m on this date at all [7:47 PM]

Yoongi: dude [7:48 PM]

Y/N: EXACTLY [7:48 PM]

Before Namjoon can respond, the bartender changes the channel and an all-too-familiar name blares over the speakers. Slowly, you look up, and all thoughts of Mike fade, faced with NHL coverage.

Nope, no – absolutely not.

Leaning over the counter, you lightly tap the bartender. “Hi.” Brightly, you smile. “First off, could I have another glass of white wine? And then, maybe… could you change the channel?”

Glancing around, the guy shakes his head. “Yes, to the wine, but no, the channel,” he says with a shrug. “Half the people in here came to watch the game. Pre-show coverage is part of that.”

With an apologetic nod, he grabs a rag and disappears. Sinking back in your seat, you stare at your hands, clasped tightly together. Your spot at the bar puts you in the unfortunate position of hearing each word the announcers say crystal-clear.

“Well, Josh, what chance do you think the Blackhawks have tonight?”

The silver-haired man beside him bobs his head. “Steve, I’d say their chances are pretty darn good. You’ve seen this team’s early games. Their first line is strong, especially now that Park’s back.”

“Oh, absolutely – Jimin Park has been crucial in the last couple of games. He was sorely missed last season.”

“Ha! You can say that again.”

Trying to hide your wince, you clasp your hands tighter as a fresh glass of wine is set down. “Thanks,” you mutter, downing half in one gulp.

Immediately, your plans for later tonight shift to accommodate another bottle of wine. Movement catches the corner of your eye, and, despite yourself, you watch the montage of star right winger, Jimin Park, tearing his way down the ice. Shamefully, you recognize every shot since, although you broke up in September, you continued to watch every game.

“One of the most talked about moments last year in hockey was the late check on Park by Blues player, Brent Howard,” continues the announcer, Josh. “His helmet came loose when he hit the boards, and he went down hard on the ice. Park suffered a sprained knee and herniated a disc in his neck. A complicated surgery took him for most of the season, only starting to skate with the team again over the summer.”

Hearing the trauma recounted with such callousness, you find yourself gripping your wine glass tighter than before.

“I don’t think anyone ever expected Park to play again,” agrees the other announcer, Steve. “It’s a damned miracle he’s back on the ice – but to return and be this good? Park has always been one of the best right wingers in the league, but I’d say he’s the best offensive player on the ice right now.”

“A bold claim!” laughs Josh. “But I might just agree. Even Jungkook Jeon on the Rangers hasn’t been matching Park in assists.”

“Exactly! I mean, look at the numbers. Last year, the Blackhawks barely made the playoffs and now, they’re first in the Western Conference.”

“Truly amazing, given the nature of his injury last November. I don’t know how familiar you are with herniated discs, Steve, but –”

Mike slides back onto his stool. Grateful for the distraction, you turn fully to face him. Having already lived through the injury once, you have no need to reminisce. Replacing your phone in your purse, you smile gamely at Mike.

“So,” you say, attempting to save the conversation. “Namjoon mentioned you like conventions? What fandoms are you a part of?”

“Oh.” Mike loosely shrugs. “I doubt you’ve heard of any of them.”

At his dismissive tone, you stiffen. Your experience with the male side of fandom is always a toss-up. “Well, there are a lot of them. Any that are more mainstream?”

He considers. “Marvel?”

Stunned, you blink once or twice. Marvel has to be one of the biggest fandoms on the planet, let alone in the country. Even if you weren’t deep in the convention circuit, you’d have heard of Marvel.

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “I think I’ve heard of that.”

“Cool, cool.” Mike nods. “Namjoon said you do cosplay – and showed me your TikTok! You know, you’d make a great Wonder Woman.”

You can practically feel your jaw tighten. “That’s DC, not Marvel. But thanks.”

Silent, you add for nothing. While you love Wonder Woman and have, in fact, cosplayed her many times, men usually only request her for one reason and that’s the skimpy outfit. Whenever you cosplay as circa 2010 Wonder Woman in pants, they’re decidedly less interested. By now, you’ve learned only to pick your characters based on personal interest.

“Have you ever cosplayed?” you ask.

Unbidden, your gaze slides to the TV. Commercial break. Stifling your twinge of disappointment, you refocus on Mike.

“Nah.” His nose wrinkles, and your stomach sinks further. “I don’t do that stuff.”

“Stuff?”

Hearing your tone, his eyes widen. “I mean, it’s cool for you. I saw your TikToks and you look amazing. I’d just look dumb,” Mike says, attempting a laugh.

Sweetly, you smile. “I don’t know. My ex used to cosplay with me, and no one ever laughed at him.”

Admittedly, this is something of a low blow since your ex-boyfriend is Jimin Park, but either Namjoon didn’t tell him, or Mike doesn’t care. Which – if that’s so, maybe Mike deserves more credit than you gave him. 

“Ah.” He nods, taking a sip of his beer. “Have you ever thought about cosplaying as Wonder Woman, though?”

Your smile vanishes. Then again, maybe you’ve given him exactly the right amount of credit.

“I have,” you say. “But more recently, I’ve been cosplaying Dimension 20 characters. It’s kind of niche, but my last character was Sundry Sidney from A Starstruck Odyssey. You know – giant machine gun arm, roller skates and a mechanical eye. Oh, and a ‘fuck erotica ann’ button, of course.”

Mike’s smile freezes. “Why… would you dress like that?”

“Because it’s fun.” Finishing your glass of wine, you toss a few bills on the counter and stand. “Well, it’s been nice meeting you, Mike, but I think we’d be better off as friends. Don’t you agree?”

Even with the answer right there in the question, still he looks flummoxed.

“I…” 

“Or acquaintances,” you add, pulling on your pea coat. “Or nothing at all. Whatever you prefer.”

Slinging your purse on your shoulder, you wave at the bartender and start to leave. You only make it several steps before Mike mutters something beneath his breath – loud enough that you hear.

“Stupid,” he mutters. “This is why you don’t date women like her, Mike.”

You come to a stop. Really, you should keep going. Common sense – and Namjoon’s HOA – depend on you being the bigger person and walking out. But your therapist has said you need to work on communicating, even when the message is something the other person won’t like.

Turning around, you tap Mike on the shoulder.

He glances upward, surprised – and then reddens, realizing you heard.

“Yep, I heard,” you say shortly, retracting your hand. “Was your muttering supposed to be secret?”

Mike opens, then closes his mouth, like a fish.

“What did you mean, ‘women like me?’” you demand, folding your arms. “Ones with self-respect? Or hobbies? Women who know more about a subject than you do?”

Behind the counter, the bartender snort-laughs, rising in your esteem despite the whole TV channel thing. 

Mike stares at you, stunned. He seems to grow a pair in that moment though, straightening to face you on his stool. “Women with sticks up their asses,” he blurt.

Stifling an eye roll, you lean closer. “Listen, Mike,” you say, placing one hand on the counter. “If you think you can hurt my feelings – think again. Someone broke my heart three months ago, so nothing you say now will remotely compare. Do you really want to know why women like me won’t date you?”

The furrow between his brows deepens, and you take this as a sign to continue. Leaning even closer, you lower your voice.

“It’s because you’re insecure,” you say softly. “Giving someone a compliment and putting yourself down in the same sentence isn’t nice, it’s awkward. Not to mention, you’re sexist,” you add, watching him stiffen. “Telling me – a two-time Comic Con trivia champion – that I wouldn’t know Marvel is wild. Oh, and you’re a snob. Tabletop games are awesome, and cosplay is fun. Have a good night – I paid for your drink.”

With that, you turn around and march out the door to a smattering of applause from your new favorite bartender. 

[ TO BE CONTINUED ]

© kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[totallytatum]

No one else

pairing; joel miller x reader rating; 18+ warnings; the tiniest bit of descriptive smut, kinda angst, basically fluff divider; cafekitsune summary; it was never meant to be complicated, no more than hooking up. word count; 990 note; I suck at proof reading and editing just in general, this was just a little short drabble, something to attempt to get the creative flow going. this had better potential tbh.

Joel is in pure bliss. Love. In love. He was never the man for domestication and settling down. It has always just been him and Sarah, never needing anything more. Until you showed up. Wrapped under his younger brother’s arm being dragged to him. Shades of pink flushed your cheeks as you two were introduced. That night you two hit it off good. So good you went home with him. 

That night turned into a bunch of nights spent together, but only nights. You two only confined in each other between his sheets and calloused fingers.The space between you two is only filled with the sounds of pleasure and begs. Please Joel. More. Please. Please. Please. That solitude only lasted 7 months. 

His breath was rugged, staggering into your ear. A soft moan escaped your lips as you dug your nails into his back, anything to pull him closer. Euphoria ripped through chest, his pace not slowing down. His fingertips danced your back and his lips kissed your jaw, “ you could be my entire world, “ he whispered into your ear before moving down to your collarbone and placing a kiss. You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t say anything. Your eyes squeezed shut and hissed in a breath. It was never supposed to be like this. It was never meant to get complicated, it was never meant to turn into anything. 

Joel’s pace became relenting, his hips snapped into yours, balls smacking against your ass. He became louder, his moans more erratic. His hand rode up the side of your rib to the swell over your breast. Taking your hard pebble between his lips, his thrusts became sloppy. “ Tell me. Tell me you’ll let me have you. “ 

You choked back tears. This couldn’t happen. This can’t happen. Not with Joel. This can’t get messy. “ J- Joel. “ You hand trailed up his back and onto the base of his neck. Anything to distract him Anything to make this encounter quicker so you can make your dash for the door and return his messages, leaving him to wonder where it went wrong. He must’ve taken his name call for more, bringing his lips back up to clash with yours. All teeth, spit mixed into each other's mouths. Joel was always your favorite taste at the end of the day. Always tasted like whiskey, but never overbearing. Maybe just a quick glass before you two get tangled between the sheets. 

He was close, pushing himself over the edge. Whatever he felt in this moment absolutely wrecked him, sent him to another planet. He groaned as he tensed up, painting your walls white with his spent. He placed a softer kiss against your lips as he tried to catch his breath, pushing sweat soaked hair out of your eyes. You met his gaze and the reality set in, you have to end this. You have to break his heart to protect your own. 

“ Joel. We can’t. “ 

His brows furrowed in confusion, “ can’t what. “ 

You pushed his shoulders slightly, pushing him off of you. Bringing the sheet up to your chest and sitting up, turning your head to look at him. “ This. We can’t do this anymore. We can’t do anything. You don’t want me. I’m no good. Used damage. “ Pushing the sheet over, you slid off the best, grabbing your old t-shirt off the floor before slipping it on. 

“ Now hold on a damn minute. Baby - “ 

“ Joel, please. Please don’t make this complicated. “ 

“ Have you ever thought about what I wanted? What I wanted in this? I want you, baby. All the time. All. The. Fucking. Time. I’m distracted. Always distracted. I’m shit at work. I fuck things up now and Tommy has to fix it. When I first met you, the very first time I saw you, saw you under Tommy’s arm. Well, well baby I wanted to run away. We clicked, something that night just did it for me. I wanted to run away because I knew if we started doing this, we would never stop. I’d never want to stop.That’s exactly how this is, that’s exactly how it has been. In no universe would I want to let you go, would I ever let you go without fighting for you. “ 

Your eyes started to become glossy, shaking your head, you hissed in a trembling breath. You were about to crack. About to become a sobbing mess if he didn’t knock this shit off. 

“ J-Joel. Please. I’m begging- don’t. “  

“ I want you. I want to be with you, on you, in you every second of the day. I dream of a life with you. A life that could happen. I could make it happen. I could make you happy. We could make each other happy. I want to marry you. I’d marry you tomorrow if it would seal the deal you were never leaving. I want to add you to my health insurance. I want to buy groceries on things you like. I want to have your trinkets littered around the house. I want the closest stuffed full of your clothes. You have nestled deep into my heart. I need you. I want to play it cool, tell you i’m not obsessed but I’m head over heels for you darlin’. “ 

You will never witness a love like this. Never again and never from a  man like Joel. Your heart swelled, you needed him, even if you left and never spoke to him. You’d mourn what was there, what could have been. He didn’t think of you as baggage, as used up damages. He thought of you as a flower, delicate and full of life. Filled with different emotions you tackled him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, you let out a breathy laugh that was filled with tears. 

“ You, Joel Miller, are the most magnificent thing that has ever happened to me. Be gentle with me, Joel, that’s all I ask. “

[luna-rainbow]

Do you think Bucky ever got any sleep during all his years of Hydra captivity? Or was it just wipe/kill/back in the freezer? I don't think cryostasis would be anything like normal restorative REM sleep.

Hello nonnie!! I have finally had a light-bulb moment for this ask (I'm sorry it's taken me like 7 months)

I've been going about it the wrong way, trying to research on sleep, when in actuality what I should have been researching is the brain under hypothermia. This is an observational study conducted in the 1980s looking at children undergoing induced hypothermia (lowering of body temperature) during cardiopulmonary bypass (sometimes required during major surgery). In summary, by the time the body temperature cooled to 18 degrees, all brain activity ceased. Sleep - consisting of non-REM and particularly REM - are associated with far more active brain waves. So nonnie, you are very correct in saying that Bucky, even with his super soldier abilities, unlikely ever got any "sleep" during cryostasis. (I'm sorry to all the ficcers that wrote Bucky dreaming during cryo but I think most people are happy to ignore this piece of science)

In terms of whether Bucky ever got "sleep", I think that is hard to say. Even normal soldiers might drive themselves to go without sleep for 36+ hours if required for a mission (heck, even hospital shifts go for 36 hours in some places). As a super soldier, Bucky might tolerate sleep deprivation for longer. This means missions like taking out the Starks - travelling from Russian and back - he might achieve in one sitting without sleeping in between (although I guess no one can stop him from dozing off on the plane).

I think one implied part of your question is "is it likely that Bucky was allowed out of the freezer for long enough periods at a time to need (and get) sleep"? I feel like that is unlikely, judging from the "he's been out of cryo for too long" line from CATWS. The timeline goes: day 1 Bucky makes assassination attempts daytime + night time against Fury / day 2 Steve makes a run down to Jersey arriving there at night / day 3 Bucky attacks Steve on the causeway and then we get the nighttime vault scene where Bucky is "unstable". Even if we add a day or two prior to allow for prepping, that still means Bucky becomes "unstable" and questions his identity within a bare week of being out of cryo.

Credit @lost-shoe (this post)

Now onto the angst...we know anaesthetics is not like restful sleep, so theoretically neither is cryostasis. While the science of cryostasis doesn't exist at the moment, we know from artificial hypothermia in surgical situations that it puts incredible stress on the body and all its organs. Looking at the laboratory derangements during hypothermia it looks like it pushes the body over to anaerobic metabolism and causes lactate to go up. You know when you go for a run and your muscles cramp up because you haven't warmed up enough? That's because your muscles have produced too much lactate from anaerobic metabolism. So...no wonder Bucky can't stand when he comes out of the cryo chamber. It also increases one's bleeding risk and reduces one's healing speed, so take of that what you will for your Whumptober prompts 😂

I also wonder whether, because the brain is not receiving any REM sleep during cryo, it means Bucky has been in a constant state of sleep deprivation for the last 70 years. The theory of "prefrontal vulnerability" in sleep deprivation proposes that functions like language, executive functions, divergent thinking, and creativity are particularly affected, so that can contribute to Bucky's inability to process/produce complex language and his slowness when it comes to working through complex problems. It also has significant effect on memory and attention: it's interesting to note that during sleep deprivation of more than 35 hours, they found that while free recall was affected, recognition was not. (Disclaimer for science: small sample size, opposite result for subjects with sleep deprivation ~24 h).

So yeah, I think there are practical reasons why Hydra would not allow Bucky to have restorative sleep between missions. Consolidation of long term memory (i.e. transferring them from short term storage into long term storage) usually happens during sleep which means it is quite likely Bucky remembers only broken bits of his time (if at all) in the last 7 decades.

[likeadevils]

Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...]  “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math. 

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker,  with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense. 

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house. 

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017). 

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[icyg4l]

PAC: Sister-to-Sister Messages

As promised, I said that I would post messages this weekend in regard to Women’s History Month based on the results of yesterday’s poll. This reading will be all about sister-to-sister dynamics. I am so thankful for the support that I have been receiving for these readings. It’s much appreciated! 🤌🤌 Anyway, today is the last day of the five dollar flash sale!! All readings will be $5 today! Come get it if you want it!!! Without further ado, choose your sister duo.

*** Disclaimer: These readings are meant to uplift, relate to, and/or inspire women!

Left-to-Right (1-3): Chloe and Halle, Beyoncé and Solange, Tia & Tamera.

Pile 1: If you resonate with the photo of Chloe and Halle, then this is your pile. First of all, your potential hasn’t even peaked yet, Pile One. Your sister wants you to know that you should continue to pursue your dreams. I feel like you have the tendency to start stuff but not finish it. What’s that about? She’s noticed this since yall were young but probably thought you would’ve grown out of it. But she still thinks that you will prosper. Those who resonate with this pile seem to be the baby in the family. You may feel like your sister acts too much like your mother, but she just wants what’s best for you. I feel like your sister is very successful/accomplished & you may feel that pressure to follow her footsteps. But in reality, she just wants you to be you. Be an individual, babe. And the last message that I got from this pile was kind of funny. Your sister feels like you work too hard. Where’s your boo thang? You need to let some stress off with a sexual partner chile, especially if someone’s been putting in effort to talk to you. Give them a chance! Maybe you can find a creative spark from messing around with them! In the end, your sister is supportive of your creative pursuits. She just wants you to put in more effort.

Cards Used: The Star: King of Wands, Four of Cups, Prince of Wands, Page of Discs (RX), 3 of Discs.

extras: “you’re being uptight.” “i’d put my life on the line for you.” spotlight. errands. ADD. chronic lip licker. “you stole my clothes.” new wardrobe. a kiss on the cheek. pillows. voluptuous. chanel. argan oil. tree climbing. golf. tennis. pierced earlobe. “i didn’t get you anything, sorry.”

Pile 2: If you resonate with the photo of Beyoncé and Solange, this is your pile. Damn Pile Two, you’re quite the looker aren’t you? Your sister sees the physical growth that you’ve made in the past two years and she is in awe of it! You’re absolutely flawless dear! But don’t forget to hold onto your vision. I feel like this pile is in high school? Maybe a freshman in college. But you have a lot of admirers. I feel like your sister is younger than you & they feel like you’re not paying attention to her as you as you used to. She feels like you mistreat her, not necessarily on purpose. It may be because you’re so busy. She wants you to not forget about them. Your sister is proud of your pursuit of higher learning (if you’re in college). She is going to follow in your footsteps because of this. But make sure you keep your promises, babe. Go to that yogurt shop with her. Go shopping with her at the mall. Go to the movies. Hell, go to the park with her. Paint with her. Spend quality time with your sister so she can stop feeling this way!

Cards Used: Nine of Cups, Ace of Discs, Four of Discs, Five of Swords, 7 of Cups (RX), Princess of Cups, 10 of Discs.

extras: strawberry & banana smoothie. teenage dirtbag. furry boots. sweet treats. calming down after nightmare. salad. elephant lover. french tips. sparkles. ribbons. bows. “speak up, honey”. abbott elementary. “i want more you.” “honesty is everything.” “keep my secret.” conceited by remy ma.

Pile 3: Last but not least, if you resonate with the photo of Tia and Tamera, then this your pile. Aw, Pile Three, your sister regrets the last conversation y’all had. I feel like this conversation could have been about how personal choices affect loved ones, i.e. bringing around terrible dating partners/friends, not paying off debts in time. It also could have been a conversation about codependency or feeling smothered. It feels like your sister understands why you left; you wanted to put yourself first. It took her some time to realize that y’all can be separate and still have love for you. Y’all need time apart to grow. Do you have a twin, Pile Three? Or were you extremely connected to your sister on a soul level at some point? There will be some time for y’all to reconnect but just not right now. There’s some stubborn energy between the both of you but y’all will reconnect once there is momentum in the both of you guys’ lives. She doesn’t hate you for being independent, but she does hate the way things ended, Pile Three.

Cards Used: Eight of Cups, The World, Five of Swords, Four of Discs, Two of Wands, Nine of Discs, Strength, 7 of Wands.

extras: “i have the balls, you don’t.” “it’s my prerogative.” oil and vinegar. liv and maddie. perfectionism. credit card debt. “drink up.” doodlebob. responsibilities. the old days. unplugged cords. cauliflower. fake vegan. bad eyesight. chloe bailey. drinking water. messy bedroom.

[7grandmel]

Rip of the week: 04/11/2024

You Are Sus

Season 5 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume D

Ripped by Retro Gaming

Requested by Corb! (Request Form)

I've written a fair amount already on here about my somewhat...muted feelings, regarding Season 5 of the SiIvaGunner channel. It was, retrospectively, a sort of transitional year for the team, as they had to officially move past the King for Another Day Tournament after over two years of fixating on it, not to mention how large parts of the team had left during those years due to creative and personal differences. It's a net good in the end that the channel team wound up finally being free of the edgy assholes that had festered since the dark days of 2016, yet this transition left 2021 in particular feeling a bit...lost, in terms of long-term goals for the channel. We were, of course, still getting stellar rips as always; be it the remaining old guard showing tremendous growth with rips like Hopes and Divinity+, or fresh faces like R.L.99 from Through the F-F-Fire and the F-F-Flame and Memmy from Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com making immediately memorable first impressions to help pave the way for the future of the channel...yet taken on the whole, it can be hard for me to remember just what Season 5 of SiIvaGunner in particular was aiming to prove.

As fate would have it, however, a set of huge events in the online world wound up happening in the lead-up to 2021, the very year of this initial uncertainty for the channel. The channel was no stranger to responding to ongoing online trends – Plains of Des-passing-to was far from the only upload of its ilk – yet the events in question had such a magnitude to them, to where it was as if SiIvaGunner's responses to them wound up inadvertedly defining the entire year's Season, in part defining the channel's whole legacy. The most obvious example is in the year's April Fools event; The Disappearance of Super Mario, rather than playing with the expectation and goals of the SiIvaGunner channel itself the way that ...of 2023 did with Season 7, was instead entirely built on an existing online joke that had been bubbling in the gaming community for the course of multiple months, one I covered pretty succinctly back on Your Best Nightmario and Mario Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Princess.

The second of these events would be the initial release of Friday Night Funkin' and the immediate surge of popularity it came with; doubtlessly, the SiIvaGunner team's choice to provide matching visuals for every rip of the game as shown on Satinpanties Symphony and Satin PantE's wound up giving the channel tons of attention from new fans, and over three years later it feels as if the culture of SiIvaGunner is inextricably linked with the youthful punk spirit still keeping FNF alive. Yet most momentous of all, above the aforementioned two events, there was a third that would end up festering into 2021 of SiIvaGunner, not through thematic coherence or through the die-hard passion of any one ripper in particular, but through sheer force of overexposure and comedic value; 2021 was, indeed, the rise and inescapable plateau of all forms of imposters, crewmates, tasks and sussy bakas; At last, it is time to talk about AMONG US, and time to talk about You Are Sus.

I've had the request for this rip in particular stuck in my head for months on end, awaiting a proper time to cover it; I've scraped the very surface of Among Us' presence on SiIvaGunner on here beforehand through Among Drip Drop Galaxy, and it's been looming over this blog since near its very beginning all the way back on Big Sus Chocobo. Yet to try and comprehend all that Among Us is feels nigh impossible: more than a video game, more than a phenomena, Among Us took the entire shitposting world by inexplicable storm and mutated like a virus into what feels like several hundred different memes over the course of mere months. It was rapidly growing in absurdity and layers of irony, much the same as SiIvaGunner memes like Grand Dad did like I wrote about on Waluigi Pinball (Beta Mix), yet now done on a wholly mainstream level; no matter who you were, if you were frequent on the internet you were only a few posts away from seeing the Among Us Drip memes, from knowing someone who had permanently added "sussy" to their lexicon, from seeing the vague silhouette of a crewmate wherever your eye would wander. Among Us shitposting was omnipresent, and the worst part was; It was, through some bizarre construction of the collective human consciousness, pretty much ALWAYS funny. The SiIvaGunner team witnessed this meteoric rise in an entire new genre of shitposting, and it was as if it gave the channel a newfound passion; as if to say, "no matter where our vessel heading, we're gonna make the best damned Among Us shitposts possible for as long as its afloat.".

And so, the rips came in; Expensive Dispenser's Among Fresh Drip, a mixture of these latter two phenomena released near the very start of Season 5, may perhaps be worthy of coverage on here in its own right for just how foundational it is to the Season 5 SiIvaGunner experience as a whole. But the rips riffing on the game only continued to grow in number, and as the meme itself grew it had yet more sources to pull from; like Bottom G of Lagplane fame, Among Us' greatest strength as a meme was just how damn versatile it was, as there were a seemingly neverending amount of audiovisual cues that would immediately let the viewer make the connection to Among Us and the growing insanity of its derivative content. Now, imagine taking a distillation of that insanity, and mixing it with what may be one of the SiIvaGunner team's most insane rippers; Retro Gaming. Featured on here previously through Logan Paul's Shop, the guy is a ripper whose output I have been SORELY underestimating, someone who – as made evident in the aforementioned rip – has a sort of unhinged knack for adding onto his rips through additional sources and jokes that only barely feel cohesive with what the original concept for the rip was, like teetering on the brink of madness. With these two combined, you end up with a whole bunch of Among Us rips; and, indeed, with You Are Sus in particular.

It's remarkable to me that You Are Smart now has two clear all-time amazing rips under its belt for me with both You Are Sus and Season 7's You Are Book Smart, but it goes to show just how much inherent comedic value the song has. The off-kilter feel of Katamari Damacy as a whole, distilled into a weird beat, melody and voice samples, make it the perfect canvas for true lunacy to breed; and with You Are Sus, practically every part of the Among Us shitposting homunculus is leveraged to make something truly unbelievable. It's far from the only Among Us YTPMV on SiIvaGunner – I mentioned Big Sus Chocobo before – and yet it feels perhaps like the most cohesive rip of the game you could possibly make. All the hits are here; Arcade Craniacs-posting, Stop Posting About Among Us, Among Us In Real Life, A M O G U S, all woven together in such a chaotic, unpredictable way, like a barrage of Among Us noise more than aiming to be organic parts of the original You Are Smart. Yet they're paired with additions that ARE almost seamlessly integrated with You Are Smart, changing the titular chant into "You Are Sus", Among Us sound effects being added to the original song's beat to give it just that slight sussy texturing, even giving it a sort of "beat drop" around 0:40.

Retro Gaming doesn't get sidetracked off the original joke here the way you could argue (despite being to its benefit) Logan Paul's Shop did; EVERY joke present here, every layer of madness added is all to further You Are Sus's agenda. The usage of Arcade Craniacs clips in particular is immensely inspired; the channel was one of many content farms on YouTube that found increasingly absurd ways to play off of the Among Us branding to boost their own popularity, and through voice clips relating to said efforts are intersperced throughout You Are Sus, it all comes full circle at the two minute mark. "It literally says 'You Are Sus'", a clip rings out, thereby connecting the echoing edit of the You Are Smart voice heard throughout the rip to the title and concept of the rip as a whole, a madhouse of every possible angle of the word "sus" played all at once.

I can express as many gripes with the overall direction of SiIvaGunner's 5th Season as I wish, but none of that will take away from the sheer talent and quality found within its rips; and a rip like You Are Sus excels in ways only a Season 5 SiIvaGunner rip could. Channelling the peak of Among Us shitposting insanity through the veins of one of the SiIvaGunner team's most cracked-out rippers, executed with the detail and finesse on a level to where the Stop Posting About Among Us-guy's ramble is synced to the beat of the song used... it was bound to become an all-time fantastic rip, is what I'm saying. It was as if the loose direction the channel took during 2021 in particular gave the team free reign, a freedom to adapt all that the internet was yelling over throughout the year with a degree of effort it would otherwise direct to the channel's own internal ecosystem. If that effort was what gave us rips like You Are Sus, then I'm perfectly content in calling Season 5 of SiIvaGunner a truly successful experiment.

[soleminisanction]

U know i do kinda find it weird how some make steph have camaraderie w the ppl that tim knows

Like outside of the generaal batfam sphere(excluding helena bc she is a outlier and maybe jason but even then they get paired up in fandom spaces)

She just not?? Amicable or a team player tbh

Like in yj19 all the sudden the c4(excluding tim) are cool w steph??? Like what? When did that happen???

(or even that arc that they went to evil alt earth where they are all evil but steph isnt??? Writer did u not even realize what you have said about the other steph???)

Idk i just think of all bat character, she is to be stricly gotham base

I give Brian Michael Bendis (the writer on YJ19) a pass because I was following him on Twitter from the point YJ19 and the Wonder Comics imprint was announced, all the way through the end of that series.

From the second the announcement was made, his social media was completely inundated with people demanding that Stephanie be included in YJ19, entirely because she'd last been seen leaving Gotham with Tim. He also got flooded with asks about whether Cissie would make an appearance, or Aqualad (because YJ animated was still at the peak of its popularity and there was a whole contingent of fans who had zero clue that Kaldur was created for that show and that Jackson Hyde looks like but isn't exactly him), but with Steph? He and his co-creators got full on harassed, and it only got worse because she happened to turn up in a flashback in Issue 4. There were Internet journalists who derailed interviews he was giving to hype up his new Black and gay heroines just to demand more Stephanie, it was bad.

And then there was this whole mess that's going to be hard to explain succinctly. But it boils down to: given the timing of when the series was announced, they almost certainly had issues #1-#3 fully drawn and either at or on its way to the printer, issues #4-6 at least partially drawn and colored, issues #7-9 completely scripted and possibly with pencil drafts under way, and issues #10-12 drafted, with an outline already prepared for the second year if they thought they were going to go beyond 12.

But then something happened after the announcement -- and it had to have been after the announcement, otherwise they could've pushed back their release dates -- that led them to rewrite the entire second half of the year, everything from the end of #5 on. You can tell because the covers, which get made ahead of the rest of the issue, start going really wonky from #6 on and don't match up with the contents of the story, plus there's disconnect in the early solicitations. Also they skipped a month between #6 and #7 while making #7 basically a filler issue with guest artists who happen to have very simple, quick-draw cartoony styles that are easier to produce in a hurry.

That kind of turn-around on a publishing project is nuts, it's not fun to deal with. I would be surprised if Bendis had time to give his artists more than a "shitty rough draft" to work off of. But like I said he was still getting this constant barrage of demands for Steph so, as long as he was doing rewrites anyway, he took the chance to drop her in, or maybe the editor insisted he do so to try to bring in more readers. Either way, he just didn't have the time to make it good or put any thought into it.

I honestly feel so bad for their whole creative team. That's such a terrible situation to be in, and the first five issues make me feel like they were really putting their hearts into it. It's so sad it got derailed so badly.

[letteredlettered]

Hi!! Have you ever struggled with burnout, depression, or overwork? Currently in my first job post college and it’s been very intense as we are currently like 3 people doing the work of a team designed for 7 people (two roles they are working to fill and two people are out on leave -> one is out on vacation and the other on parental leave). Have spent many ours on overtime (around two days a week I usually sleep five or six hours and spend a few more hours working —> other days I work a bit less but still some overtime) for the last few months. It’s really hard to decompress and stop thinking about work as I work remotely. I need to get better at setting limits and advocating for myself but I think one issue I’ve been dealing with is getting caught in a cycle of having a lot so having not a lot of time to do an analysis of like what needs to change and this is my bandwidth. Also it’s hard to predict bandwidth sometimes because I’m still very new to this industry and department, so I’m still learning how much coordination is necessary to get something done. Another problem is that everyone is stretched to their limit and extremely busy, so I feel kind of bad rejecting projects. I think an issue is that I also have relatively low self-esteem and confidence but a deep desire to be “good” from like an academic perspective and a work perspective, and the main leader of my team is someone who I like a lot and appreciates what I do, so I keep trying to do more or at least meet expectations. I also receive assignments from different people (five people total, usually), so people generally don’t have visibility as to my bandwidth unless I speak up. One person in particular gave me a lot of assignments with a good deal of time pressure and was the person that I was working the closest with —> still trying to catch up to some of the more evergreen projects I had with him because the other projects I’ve had in the last two months have even way too intense to do anything else. I’m really grateful for this job and I like a lot of the people I work with, but I’m kind of struggling.

I mention all of this because I really respect the way you are able to commit to creative projects and create incredible works and really focus on making something. I’ve never really had an ability to stick to a creative project or hobby for an extended period of time —> frequently I disappoint myself in my lack of consistency or follow-through for a lot of my personal goals. I also really appreciate the way that you engage with certain themes in your work and value your perspective. So just kind of curious if you’ve been through this before or have any thoughts about this sort of thing

I've thought a lot about what to tell you here.

What anyone would recommend is that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. They'd say that your well-being is more important than your work. If they read your ask carefully they'd realize that maybe your performance in this job is connected to your well-being in your mind. If they're looking at the strings that control the system they're going to tell you capitalism has brainwashed us into thinking that we should sacrifice our health for the sake of production, and then they'll tell you you should do what you can to break out of the capitalist mentality. If they're not excited about seizing the means of production then their in-universe advice (in-the-capitalist-universe advice) is going to point out that you cannot produce more for the capitalist machine if you're burnt out (I'd call these people the neoliberals of tumblr but I'm not sure that exists; I haven't seen it).

But none of that is really addressing the problem here, because you already know all of that, or if you don't know it, knowing that isn't going to help you. You don't need to be told to set boundaries. You know you accept too many projects; you know that you haven't been clear with your colleagues about your bandwidth. You know you're trying too hard to please others and that part of the reason is you have a low self-esteem.

Something that people don't talk about enough is how bad it feels to set boundaries. When people advise others to "set boundaries" it's always as if it's never occurred to anyone else to stand up for themselves. The problem is that it usually has occurred to us, but it's hard to do and feels bad. Hearing "stand up for yourself!" repeatedly can sometimes help us feel like we did the right thing when we do manage to stand up for ourselves, but it can just as often make you feel even worse when you can't stand up for yourself. You're being overworked and you're not doing the thing that everyone tells you you should do.

And another thing that people do not talk about enough is that most workplaces do not like employees who set boundaries for themselves. They like people who say yes. You often won't get in trouble for setting reasonable limits for yourself, but you won't advance. The ones who work late and work on weekends and take on every project and say nothing about bandwidth are usually the ones who get promoted. I'm not saying this because it's right or okay. It's another flaw in the capitalist system. But it is very often true, and I've been a little frustrated that in all these glorious discussions about boundary-setting, this is not something that gets talked about more.

So what to do, when you know the answers, but it doesn't feel great, and might not get you where you want to go?

Spend time with your feelings. A lot of time with your feelings. Imagine ways to communicate your bandwidth. Imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Pick scenarios that feel more comfortable and less intimidating for you. Imagine saying no to a new project. Imagine how you would feel doing that. Pick a way of doing it that feels the most manageable.

Think about your colleagues, what you like about them and why. Imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were struggling. Imagine having an honest conversation with them about how hard this is for you. Would they listen open and compassionately? Would they try to make changes that could help you? Or would they say, "We're all going through it," and "there's nothing to be done?" Imagine saying to them, "I know we're all going through this, because of the staffing challenges we're facing," and "I know there's not much to be done about this, but this is how I'm feeling." Would they accept your vulnerability? Would it make you feel bad to be vulnerable in that way? Would it make you feel worse to be vulnerable in that way or to say nothing?

That's not a leading question. Saying nothing is okay. There have been many times where I am facing a problem and I realized that doing nothing was the thing that made me feel best. There were other times when I really didn't want to do something and I knew it would be incredibly hard, but I knew I would feel much better having done it.

Think about your self-esteem and confidence. Why don't you feel confident? When you imagine saying no, and it feels bad, what makes it feel so bad? Is it because other people don't say no? Are you measuring yourself against those other people? How can you stop doing that? Or is it because you feel like a good worker always says yes? Where did you get that idea? Was it an idea communicated to you by people who love you? By society? Are there people who haven't made you feel that your worth as a person was predicated on how much you were able to accomplish? When is the last time you spent time with them? What makes you feel good about yourself? When is the last time you did it? Are there things you can do outside of work to boost your confidence? What are they? Can you do them? Why not? If work is holding you back from doing them, is it worth it?

It's okay if work feels worth it. I'm not endorsing the capitalist machine when I say that it is okay to do something that is really difficult or unpleasant for a certain amount of time to get where you are going. But if that's what you're going to do, then develop a plan of escape. Ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this. Ask yourself what the next step in your career or life journey is. Ask yourself what you will put up with to get there and what is unacceptable. Write it down if you have to, then try to abide by that, and if you are unable to bear your plan six months down the line, make a new one.

I am fortunate in that these kinds of questions come really naturally to me, and I think they must not come so naturally for a lot of other people. Definitely, there are blocks in my mind; I'm not always able to understand myself or my own feelings; I don't know what's best for myself or how to make myself do things I want. But this kind of thinking is not going to give you immediate answers. Instead, it's going to build the skill of getting to know yourself.

The ultimate question you should be asking is "What will make me happy?" It sounds like a simple question, but it is in fact the most difficult of all. It is the question we struggle with every day, and every book that was ever written, every song that was ever sung, every painting that was ever painted is about that, in the end. The answer to that question is the meaning of life. Most people never find it, but the search is worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

[faegoddessog]

Day 7: Fever

Ok loves, I've decided to try something to stretch myself creatively with this challenge. I'm gonna dribble my drabble and see if I can tie each theme into an actual story that I'll write day by day! We'll see how it goes! Wish me luck!

Here is my ongoing masterlist of this project.

My other works are here if you are interested!

Check out the fun challenge here by @slowsweetlove . Feel free to jump in too!

Day 7: Fever

Two cups of coffee and another piece of pie later, apparently Austin had a thing for apple pie, especially when he’s drunk. 

“Did you like your time on the Carrie Diaries,” asks Austin around his last mouthful, starting to sober up. 

“Geeze, honestly Austin, it feels like a fever dream now, it was two months like ten years ago. Honestly, I am shocked that you even remember me,” you confess. 

“Are you? How could I forget you?” his smile is enigmatic. “We spent so much time together in those two months. You were so willing to talk to me, to share your dreams.  The girl who replaced you wasn’t nearly as interesting, though she was nice,” Austin clarifies. The one thing he sucked at, was saying bad things about people.  He catches your eye, staring straight into your soul. “Nice, but  she was not you. You were,” he hesitates, “you were my….” he swallows, “friend.” 

That’s not what he wanted to say, not at all. 

“Austin, I need to confess something to you,” you just can’t dance around it anymore, “and if it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. But I need to tell you what I came to say that day I walked in on you and Vanessa.” 

He is suddenly very serious, giving you all 100% of his formidable attention. 

“I came in there to tell you that I wasn’t going to be back, and that…. that I liked you.” you finish lamely under his stare.

He nods his head, breathing deep. He opens his mouth to talk. 

“NO, wait… that’s not… “ you hold up a finger. His mouth closes. “Austin, it wasn’t just a crush.  I realized that day, obviously too late, just how hard I had fallen for you.  I came in hoping we could at least go out on a date, since we wouldn’t be working together anymore. And I saw you there with her, and I felt so betrayed. And you clearly were embarrassed that I caught you, and young me just couldn’t handle it. So I just ran.”

He opens his mouth, chest puffing up with an inhale. You hold up your whole hand.  Red rises, fever-like up his neck, whether from embarrassment or anger, you don't know. 

“I know you didn’t lead me on and  that much of it was in my head, but I felt betrayed because you never once mentioned her. I feel like I could have reconciled it, been ok  just being a friend if I had known. But I was heartbroken.” 

He shakes his head opening his mouth. You push on. 

“And no I’m not looking for another apology. What’s done is done, but I just needed you to know.” You finish, heat pricking at your neck and cheeks. 

He sits there, beautiful plush lips pressed together, waiting in case you needed to say something else. 

You  give him the ‘go ahead’ gesture. 

“First, thank you for telling me, that had to be hard. Second, I am sorry that I hurt you, it wasn’t my intention at all. For the record, I had been sorta seeing Vanessa off and on, but it hadn’t been serious until about 5 minutes before you walked in.  She surprised me by coming to New York and wanted to make it official, and since well���” he looks down at the table where his fingers are caressing the melamine, “ I thought you just weren't that in to me, I figured I had nothing to lose..”

“Wait what?” you aren’t sure what you just heard. 

“Truth be told,” he continues, ”if you had told me that before she showed up, I would have definitely gone on that date.  I don’t know what would have happened.  That’s why I was so embarrassed, because I thought you… I don’t know, would hate me or something.  It was so awkward and stupid and I was so young. I had no idea you felt the same about me. I’m so sorry.” 

Your jaw hangs open  and you blink in disbelief for a full minute  as a feverish sweat nearly breaks out on your forehead. A play of emotions run across his face as you don’t know how to react. 

“Come on,” you drop cash on the table and take his hand. 

credit to @saradika for the graphic!

Always tag me: @purejasmine, @slowsweetlove, @richardslady121, @austinbutlerslovers, @tadpoleteef, @allittakesisoneflight

"I've been tagged by you before Lumiere!": @thisworldisntrealhoney,  @1nho,  @megangovier, @briaandthephantoms, @andro-inherdreamworld @callumsgirl @blombardo  @fefeisastar @hacunamy @nestito702 @denised916 @jayydep @r0m4nitcl0v3r @heyidc03, @secondchild-2, @flander42 @natural-born-rebel-spirit @lecosymood @kathrynzaragoza @bsunshinexo @jayydep @ifyouloveweedletsgosmoke

[lambhouse]

art block & burnout (and how i deal with it)

so i've been kind of Going Thru It lately, but then again who hasn't? life's kind of been an ongoing shitslide these past few years. and i can't say it's only now starting to catch up to me, because that would be a bald faced lie, but i think i've finally reached the point where i realize that for real, no cap, or whatever the kids say these days, change starts with me.

what does that mean, you ask? and what does it have to do with burnout and drawing?

well, i've been at my lowest for two years and counting now. i've had bouts of creativity and whole entire weeks of being productive and drawing like a machine and just generally being high on life, but those were just spikes of activity on an otherwise flat line. and i've been flatlining for months now. i know i'm due for a high at some point (it's how these things go), but this time i decided to get ahead of it and start building up some good habits so that when the next low hits, it won't be as hard.

this, at its core, isn't anything new or revolutionary and i can't say the tips/advice i have are universally applicable, but they will hopefully give you an idea of where to start, or at least give you a different perspective on how to go about applying any of the general art advice you see out there.

so without further ado, here is how i did this:

i started a new sketchbook last month. that, in and of itself, isn't a big deal; the big deal is that i kept up with it for a month straight. tomorrow is the actual 1-month anniversary (lol) of my daily drawing habit.

that's not particularly impressive either, not even for me. i've had periods where i drew regularly -- not 7 days a week regularly, but 3-4 days in a row every week and i kept that going for weeks. but i wasn't going through burnout at the time, and that's what makes this such an important milestone for me.

how i started:

it was rough, lol. looking back at this now i can see it's not a terrible first drawing but i remember how fucking stressed i was the entire time. my hands were shaking, i kept erasing and redrawing, i added color thinking it would make it look better, i even tried drawing from reference (the DRDs and the very faint flower in the corner) but i didn't have enough patience to really look at my references. overall it was a miserable experience.

but something good did come out of it, because i realized two things:

i was too mentally drained to draw from imagination, and

drawing in pencil hindered me more than it helped

now, drawing from imagination was what i always wanted to do and i could do it well enough and consistently enough when i was feeling good. but the whole reason i decided to build a habit like this was so i wouldn't have to depend on the whims of my brain chemistry anymore.

so drawing from reference it was. good thing i already had a pinterest board full of portrait references. i added about a hundred more to it that first night, just to have more variety, and that was enough to get me excited for the next drawing session.

now, the pencil thing. that's a bit tricky to explain and i can't promise it'll work for you as well as it did for me, but i think it's worth a shot.

the way it works for me is, the pencil is too easy a tool to use. even if you make a mistake, you've got an eraser and a million do-overs (or as many as your paper holds up to). so if i draw and erase and redraw the same line over and over again, at some point that starts to mean that there's something wrong with me, that i'm a shit artist, and what's the fucking point of doing it if i've basically got all the training wheels i need and i still can't draw this fucking eye right, or the mouth still looks weird, or the face is wonky. if the paper's good and the pencil lead is good quality and the eraser does its job well and still the drawing looks like shit, well, who's to blame for that? me.

i knew from the start that this was where i was headed if i decided to draw in pencil. even the very first sketches i did were in colored pencil, which is a step up in difficulty from regular graphite (they can be erased, but not completely). but obviously that didn't work as i had hoped, so more drastic measures were required.

so i decided to just rawdog it. i ditched the pencils entirely and took my tombow pens out of retirement. i only had five and two of them were different shades of pink, so not a lot of room to play with colors-as-values, but i made do. the three figures that look like they were drawn in pencil were actually drawn with the grey pen.

now this may seem counterintuitive. if erasing and redrawing stresses me out so much, how does drawing directly in pen make it better? isn't that just more stress?

yes and no, but mostly no. the way i rationalized it is, i can't make a perfect pen drawing even at my absolute best. there's just no way. but i can eventually arrive at a perfect pencil drawing, through a lot of trial and error and frustration, so why not take all of that out of the equation? frustration never helped me get better, it was just a creative sinkhole. so why not get rid of it? turn the possibility of failure into a certainty and work with or around that new certainty.

cut out the middleman, so to speak.

and it fucking worked.

-- for full disclosure, i've drawn in pen before. i started on a whim a few years ago and found it pretty liberating, so i kept doing it.

these are some of the first sketches i did in pen. they're pretty good, but as you can see from the date at the bottom, these were from before the Great Calamity of 2020 happened and everything went to shit. --

back to the thing.

so drawing in pen worked wonders to loosen me up and keep me going with the challenge -- or the building of a new habit. it certainly helped that i was also drawing portraits from reference and didn't have to think about poses, or features, or expressions -- they were all already there for me to draw.

not having to think about any of that also meant i had more energy to put into other things, like shading and coloring and how to simplify and stylize complex forms.

(i also got some poscas and four new watercolor makers. they weren't necessary for the process, but they were a nice treat.)

so i kept drawing. two days turned into three, into five, until i had a full week of daily drawings under my belt.

i hit a snag on day 8. (no pictures because (1) its fucking embarrassing, and (2) it's an oc design for a thing i'm still cooking and it's in the earliest of stages where the characters don't even have names.) i have a pretty good idea why day 8 was such a miss: i got overconfident. day 7 was a draw from your imagination day and it went well enough i thought i could do it again the next day. lol nope.

so i went back to my reference board for the next couple of days, but i had gotten a taste of true freedom (drawing from imagination -- and in pencil!) and i wasn't feeling the portraits anymore.

the next couple of days after that were rough (again -- no pictures bc uncooked oc's) but all the drawing from reference i did the week before had done me good. i had the willpower to keep going despite being unhappy with my drawings. they weren't bad drawings per se, but i was using my newly-found oc-drawing muscles and there were bound to be some growing pains. i was also drawing in pencil but by that point i had gotten used to making mistakes so i wasn't stressed about having to erase over and over.

(i don't think i actually erased all that much, tbh. i was instead using a blending stump to mask the wobbly lines.)

day 15. i didn't set out to draw one page a day but that's what ended up happening so i just went with it. i also only had an hour or two to draw and that's how much i was able to get done in that amount of time. slow and steady wins the race, i guess?

day 19 was i think the first time i drew in pen from imagination in a long time. i was also watching some vtuber drama nonsense on youtube and it got me thinking about making my own vtuber model. idek what a vtuber is or does but the process of making a model from scratch sounds interesting. (its also very time-consuming, i hear.)

anyway.

actual cooked oc's this time + a page of raziel drawn from memory to celebrate the news of the soul reaver prequel graphic novel that's in the making. (apparently dave rapoza is gonna do the cover art for it??)

and this is now turning into an art diary, but you get the gist. i kept going.

and going.

and going.

even when it wasn't fun. even when i didnt' feel like it. and maybe i havent built the habit all the way through yet, but the more i kept going the more i noticed how the "i don't feel like it" feeling became less and less intense.

it hasn't gone away completely. its 10pm now as i'm writing this and i know i have to open up my sketchbook and draw and tbh i don't really feel like it, but it's less that i'm drained and more like "but what if i fuck up a perfectly good page?"

and i know how to deal with that. i pick up a pen and fuck it up on purpose, and then i look at what i have and start problem-solving.

because that's what gets me through it.

not having a clear, concrete problem to tackle is what kept me stuck in limbo for so long, it's what's at the core of my burnout. you'd think creating more problems on purpose would make the burnout worse, but it got me out of the black hole of indecision and anxiety. because if it's something that i made, it's something i can unmake. it's something i can fix.

so i'm fucking fixing it, one step at a time.

[squeaksinc]

2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

[hunniebunnietarot]

"Let It Snow"

Career/Education

(2 of cups, 10 of cups, 4 of pentacles, 8 of swords, king of wands)

There might be someone that has a lot of influence on your career, a family member(or just a loved one, maybe a controlling romantic partner). This person is older than you and they have a kind of “I know better so respect your elders” kind of attitude. They may be trying to push you in a certain direction in your education or career because of good intentions, but they don’t know how to have healthy boundaries. Your finances will be restrained, you will be trying hard not to splurge and be careful with money instead. Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself in the financial department, you very well could be doing better than you think you are. You could’ve grown up in a lower/middle class family and this causes you to be extra cautious to not spend “too much”. 

Love

(Death, Judgement, The hanged man, Wheel of fortune)

You could be deciding to end a relationship or start one. This has been something that you were stalling for a while, but it’s inevitable. For those that are making the decision to end things, there will be a situation in January with your person where it’s the last straw, and you’re just like “Fuck it, i’m done”. Some could just be afraid of starting over with someone new, coming out of a state of familiarity.

Mental/ Health

(The Moon, Page of cups, The sun, 9 of cups)

This comes back to the decision I discussed previously. You will feel troubled until you finally get this new start. Something will renew your excitement around the middle of the month and you will feel bliss from that point on. Clear all of that confusion up and it will be a great month for you.

Career/Education

(10 of swords, Ace of swords, 7 of wands)

January will be difficult when it comes to this aspect. Something will be bothering you, a situation that you can’t let go of. You might have been through some big changes lately and this is weighing heavy on your mind. It’s to the point where you can’t focus on your responsibilities. You could have been betrayed by an earth sign woman who kind of pulled the rug out from under your feet and made you uncomfortable in the process. For those of you in school/university, you could be transferring or going to a new school(because of you moving to a different place) and it isn’t going to be an easy transition. You may clash with some people there. Your finances are looking up because of your determination. Maybe at a new job for some.

Love

(Page of cups, The world, The magician)

I feel like you’re realizing your worth and who is worth your time in this month. You’re really leveling up on self love. There will be an end to you doubting yourself and abilities. You also may be reflecting on the past and how you conducted yourself in relationships. This is definitely your month of being “selfish” in the best way possible.

Mental Health

(8 of pentacles, The devil)

You are working on those self limiting beliefs that you have, which you’re very determined to end. You might be needing to do  things that you find enjoyable, your creativity is blocked. Do things that your inner child calls for, even if it seems silly or miniscule.

Career/Education

(The hermit, Knight of swords, The artist, The empress)

This will be a great month, you will be throwing yourself into work, school. It’s not in a way where it’s avoidant, there are no signs of distress here. This is just pure passion for what you do and wanting to be better at it. You’re kind of keeping to yourself at that time as well, because your sense of priorities is great in January. As for your finances, you may be learning how to let go of the need to worry about every little thing, sort of like doing what you need to and allowing the money to flow in without worries.

Love

(Page of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, King+Queen of cups, Temperance, The star)

You’re not too worried about love because your head is so in the books, honestly.The most I see you doing is making an effort to put yourself back out there, maybe. For those already in relationships by this time, your partner may actually be trying to get you to go out more. To actually find some balance between the different aspects of your life(they want to spend more time together, but they won’t be pushy at all so dw).

Mental Health

(9 of swords, Page of swords, Death, Ace of cups, 2 of pentacles)

You’re overthinking something. A new opportunity presents itself to you and you might actually be so excited about it that you think about it almost too much. Like I said before, you just have a hard time finding balance with your person and work/school.

Career/Education

(The chariot, Queen of pentacles, Ace of pentacles, The sun, 3 of swords)

You could be juggling quite a few things, but skillfully, this month. There is a new job opportunity that will almost give you a feeling of “I made it”. You could’ve been looking for one for a while by this time. A specific message for some, this may be a breakthrough into your actual desired field, like a big corporate position or a position in a law firm. Your finances are being affected(good or bad)  through the means of inheritance for some, or some money that is owed to you somehow. A man(father, grandfather, etc.) wants to make sure you are taken care of financially, so he’s made plans for you. He is the tough, manly type that looks out for his loved ones.

Love

(10 of cups, The hierophant, Wheel of fortune, 7 of cups, The world, The hanged man)

There is someone you meet/met at school. You could’ve known this person for some time, but there’s some potential with them. You or them could be in the friend zone, but that will change and y'all will give things a try in a romantic sense. Someone, though, is not being completely honest about something, maybe this has something to do with hidden feelings, just apply it to your situation. You or someone you know might be pregnant or having a baby this month as well.

Mental Health

(The empress, Knight of wands, The tower)

You may be going through a spiritual awakening. You’re feeling pretty good in January. You feel very feminine, successful, and happy with yourself. There might be a truth that is revealed that will shock you, but it won’t cause too many problems for you.

~~~

I hope you enjoyed:) Please give feedback if you'd like. Have a good day/night!

[mikeywayarchive]

SDCC 2024: Mikey Way Rings in Holidays All Year Long with Christmas 365 (Interview)

By Justin Epps - Published Sep 7, 2024

Dark Horse Comics

☰ SUMMARY

• Christmas 365 from Dark Horse Comics releases this year, a festive series about a family celebrating Christmas all year round.  • Co-writer Mikey Way talks about the nostalgia and magic of Christmas, and the importance of family in his work.  • Way collaborates with Jonathan Rivera and Piotr Kowalski to craft a dream project embracing the 80s/90s Christmas movie feel.

Full interview under the cut:

Christmas has come early for Dark Horse Comics readers. During this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, the publisher revealed it would be releasing Christmas 365 later this year. This festive new series comes from the creative team of Mikey Way, Jonathan Rivera, Piotr Kowalski, Brad Simpson, and Joshua Reed.

Christmas 365 tells the story of a family who has gone through a particularly challenging year and their attempts to come back together through a Christmas season that lasts the whole year round. Screen Rant caught up with Christmas 365 co-writer Mikey Way and dug into his thoughts behind this unique holiday story.

Screen Rant: From the premise I'm guessing you're a big fan of Christmas. But why Christmas 365?

Mikey Way: As a child of the 80s, a lot of my favorite movies were Christmas movies. I think the holiday stuck with me, the the mythology of it, the imagery really resonated with me. I know I'm not alone on this, the world is obsessed with Christmas. You go in stores and the Christmas stuffs out in August. It was after 9/11 I noticed Christmas started earlier at the store. I remember taking a mental note of that. People needed it at that time. I feel like with social media people have been able to express their love of Christmas and find like-minded people that are like-minded. There's Christmas podcasts, there's Christmas basements.

Mikey Way: Anyway, child of the 80s. Christmas Story, Scrooged, Christmas Vacation, Gremlins, Die Hard, Santa Claus: The Movie, all those great Jim Henson movies. These were important stories to me. And so I've always had that itch in me to tell a Christmas story. And I think it was around 2013 I watched a bunch of Christmas movies in a row and it wasn't Christmas time, it was summertime, I think. I remember watching Home Alone and Christmas Vacation and being like "What stories are left to tell?". Then it hit me like a bolt. "What about a family that're kind of disconnected and one of them gets the the wild idea to celebrate it all year long?". Like that's gonna fix everything.

With Christmas, there's this effort to see the world through the eyes of a child and recapture that feeling of wonderment. Is that what you wanted from your story?

Mikey Way: It's the one month out of the year where you can forget about life's pressures a little bit. And there's wonder and magic and hope and promise. Especially when you have children. It's the Super Bowl. For a child things revolve around "Christmas is coming!". So getting to see it through my two girls' eyes...that's what it's all about. There's so many layers to it. It's a layered holiday. But it's just something that's so great. In a world full of gloom and doom, it's something that's just awesome and great. Like there's a velvet cloud around you in December. Even November.

Mikey Way: There's there's a lot of bad stuff that happens in the world. People get busy, people get stressed, people have responsibilities. And it's the time where you can celebrate being a family, celebrate the people you love, and you could show them how much you love them.

You're co writing this with Jonathan Rivera. Both of you guys did books for DC Young Animal which was definitely a more experimental line, but you guys are trying to tell a more grounded story here, correct?

Mikey Way: We're very like-minded. He went to art school with my brother. We all like the same stuff. Trainspotting, Britpop, Stone Temple Pilots, The Crow, action figures, X-Men, anime. Jon was a kindred spirit. He's one of my best friends in the world. He's someone I wanted to write a story with. This was the perfect opportunity because he feels the same way about this 80s/90s Christmas story. He's got the same itch to scratch.

Your previous book, Collapser, had a real strong family theme to it, which seems carry on in Christmas 365. What is it about family that speaks to you so strongly in your work?

Mikey Way: Family's everything. As you get older you start to realize that. And it plays into the holiday of Christmas. When it comes down to the family's all you got. You can have an important job. You can have all the material possessions in the world. You could have fancy this and that. But when it comes down to it, who's sitting at the dinner table with you? Those are who's important and the people that pick you up when you're needing it. They're there for you, you're there for them. So the family unit has always been something extremely important to me. Especially as I get older and have children and extended family. That's really all you got in this world and it's the most beautiful thing there is.

In addition to Rivera, you're also working with Piotr Kowalski. How was it crafting this dream project with him and his art?

Mikey Way: What's interesting about him is he's mostly a horror guy, really. When we got his artwork, most of the demonstration pages and pieces were horror and then I went on his Instagram recently and it's all horror and I'm like "It kind of works, because this is supposed to be an 80s/90s Christmas movie.". If you watch these movies, they're all dark and they always tried to sneak a horror element into it. In Home Alone there was the scary boiler.

For me, it was A Christmas Story when Ralphie goes on the slide and the Santa just boots him down.

Mikey Way: There's always a moment of playful scariness in those movies. So I think it fit the tone, because you want it to look a little VHS. I feel like he was able to tell it exactly. Like if we closed our eyes and we were envisioning Christmas 365 as a movie, that's what it would look like. Me and Jon saw his art and were like "This is the guy.".

You previously spoke about the influence of suburban genre movies like The Burbs and Better Off Dead. How did these movies inform your Christmas story?

Mikey Way: So the story goes me and my brother watched Better Off Dead probably a couple of times a week for years. That and One Crazy Summer, those those two movies for me and my brother were very important. There was this Gonzo stuff in it. It was a slightly grounded, suburban comedy that had all these kind of wacky, fantastical ideas in it. All those movies had a sport. Better Off Dead was skiing.

Oh, like Heathers and croquet?

Mikey Way: Team Wolf had basketball. They all had a sport. Also there's a weird claymation dream sequence, remember? There was all this weird stuff, but there's something about that movie that struck a chord with me and my brother and we watched it literally once or twice a week for decades. But yes, Savage Steve Holland was a big influence on me and Jon Rivera.

Christmas 365 #1 is available on December 4th from Dark Horse Comics.

[colleybri]

Answer the questions and tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @mosylufanfic :)

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’m relatively unusual here, I think, in that whilst I’ve been writing it since my teens I have had a good twenty year break up until a few months ago. Years ago, I just started writing it for my own pleasure - certainly no internet or easy ways to share it back then. More recently, I can attribute my return to one thing and one thing only: my love of the series Andor. An obsession that came out of nowhere in September 2023 when I watched it for the first time and it resonated with me in a way nothing has come close to in quite some time. After several months of writing various analyses of it I felt the urge to get creative.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Not many - most recently, Andor - obviously - and with the obvious overlap of Rogue One. Going back: I started out on E.T. (early teens then so that will date me accordingly :) ) - moving on to Aliens, The Silence of the Lambs and The X Files. Some novels then too: Narnia and Clive Barker, notably.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

As above, really. I’m in my mid 50s now - which I imagine makes me one of the older ones here. I dabbled most recently in the late 90s, with The Phantom Menace slashfics that were hugely popular back then - one of my friends was a superb writer (her stories were considerably better than the film itself ) and absolutely churned them out on whatever forums were around. They were a wholly new thing to me and I hadn’t even seen the film, but I dabbled a bit anyway :)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more at the moment, but I’m gradually trying to catch up with the reading. I missed Andor when it was first released and therefore the glut of fics from that time. But I’m getting to know the writers I really like and rediscover my own interests, genre speaking, along the way.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

It’s really hard to compare as I haven’t got much left hanging around from my earlier years, but I would say that with several decades of teaching Lit under my belt now I do care a lot more about characterisation than I ever used to. It used to be all about the plot. I’m finding myself very drawn to subtext-heavy dialogue, internal monologues, drabbles and even poetry - the last being something I never thought I’d touch with a barge pole. I’m not saying I’m any good, just that I enjoy the challenge. That’s the main thing, in fact. These days I’m happy to embrace a challenge rather than shy from it. 

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

That would be what human flesh tastes like. For a Silence of the Lambs fic, obviously. The answer is apparently “pork crossed with beef” so I guess a genuine ragu lasagne would scratch that particular itch if anyone’s curious. 

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

At the moment, as I’m pretty much starting from scratch and trying to find readers, absolutely anything. Probably excluding ‘don’t give up the day job’. 

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Probably the cannibalism thing. Though that’s no doubt more mainstream nowadays…. I haven’t even looked at all the Hannibal (tv series) fics out there. 

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Anything long - the longest thing I ever completed was a 250 page novel but I was 14 at the time and haven’t come close since. Haven’t the stamina these days. Same with reading – I prefer one shots.

10. What is the easiest type?

Missing scenes or scene commentaries - not so much easy as such but probably my favourite forms, so they come relatively easily once I really put my mind to them. I find analytical essays the easiest of all, if I know the text well, but that’s no doubt a teacher-thing. I’ve made myself a regular feature on the Reddit Andor sub, probably to the chagrin of some :)

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Looking at other answers to this one, I’m a bit perplexed. I have an elderly iMac and write on that. Hell, I used to do everything in long hand. Thank God I learned to touch-type. I guess I use Googledocs when forced to use my laptop. I’m fortunate to be semi-retired, so I generally find the time.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Something longer, I guess. Hard to tell. I was and am intimidated by Smutfics, but had a go at a challenge recently and was quite pleased with the result. Not something I’ll be writing often though - not the main event, anyway. Love the buildups, and there’s some really great erotica out there, but I do get pretty stuck using the same vocabulary if I’m not careful. I’ve done a few humorous variations and quite liked those too. I’m British, lived in Bath for many years so like to imagine Austen’s ironic take on sex scenes quite a bit. 

13. What made you choose your username?

Nothing very deep - it’s to do with where I live. I’m a keen birder and Colley is an old West Country (England) word for a blackbird. 

Apologies in advance for tagging you - I’m sure some or all of you have been ‘done’ already! I don’t know a huge range of writers yet and I’m new to Tumblr and Discord. Absolute social media dinosaur as I am. 

Tagging @beladonna02, @ceruleanphoenix7, @faceofpoe, @jake-and-amy-are-married, @vadercat