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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER NINETEEN: toothpaste

masterlist

*if you want the full sjap chososcamgirl experience click here!

Toothpaste.

That was all she needed.

The familiar jingle of the doorbell sounded as she stepped into the pharmacy, its ring echoing briefly before being swallowed by the soft hum of fluorescent lights above. She moved past the aisles with purpose, the faint scent of antiseptic and the bittersweet smell of charcoal lingering in the air.

At the counter, a brown-haired girl in her late twenties leaned against the register, lazily blowing out smoke from a cigarette.

"Shoko," her name tag read in bright red letters.

Pretty name.

"Hey," she muttered, a casual greeting as she passed. The girl didn't look up, but offered a half-hearted smile, her eyes unfocused as she exhaled smoke, lost in whatever thoughts dulled her day.

Toothpaste.

The word repeated in her head like a quiet mantra, the task simple, mundane. She wandered down the aisles with mechanical precision, her gaze flicking over shelves of medicines and other pharmacy essentials.

Her fingers brushed against boxes, but she didn't really look at them. She wasn't here to linger.

And then she stopped.

A stillness took hold of her. Her body froze mid-step, her pulse quickening in a way that had nothing to do with the cold air of the aisle.

In the distance, there was a figure. His back was to her, his face buried in his hands, almost in a gesture of resignation or frustration. His stance was familiar in an unsettling way, as if he was trying to disappear into the shelves, as if he were searching for something he didn't know how to find.

She stood there for what felt like an eternity, the hum of the lights suddenly deafening in her ears. The shape, the posture, the way his shoulders slumped-it was him.

For a moment, she debated standing there. Still, until he noticed her.

Then, just as her mind screamed at her to stay, she saw him start to turn—his head shifting, eyes beginning to look her way.

Her heart slammed against her ribcage, and without thinking, she bolted. She pivoted on her heel, her breath quick and shallow as she darted toward the next aisle, her legs carrying her as fast as they could.

She whips out her phone in frustration and starts furiously typing.

“Hey.”

She freezes, fingers hovering over the screen of her phone, her mind torn between the message she was about to send and the voice she recognizes. Slowly, she looks up.

His gaze locks with hers.

Megumi Fushiguro.

Her eyes narrow, irritation flaring as she exhales sharply. Without a word, she pushes past him, intent on finding what she came for.

Toothpaste.

The aisle ahead is a chaotic jumble of brightly coloured shampoo and conditioner bottles—too many choices, too many distractions. She weaves through the sea of products, her focus narrowing to the search for the one thing she came here for.

“Yn, please, I’m sorry.”

The words make her blood boil. God, she hates the tone he’s using. It’s almost like he doesn’t get it.

She bites her lip, trying to ignore the sting of his voice, but before she can refocus, she feels his hands settle gently on her shoulders. It takes all her willpower not to jerk away.

Not now, Megumi.

Finally, she spins around, giving him the sharpest glare she can muster.

“What do you want, Megumi?” she spits, every syllable laced with frustration.

His frown deepens, his eyes flicking to her lips, a hesitant tension hanging between them. He bites his lip, visibly unsure of how to proceed.

“I just... I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

Her jaw tightens, and she shoots a pointed glance back at the shelves, pretending to be absorbed in the endless row of oral care products. She couldn’t care less about his apology.

“I heard you the first time,” she mutters, grabbing the toothpaste off the shelf with one hand, her grip tight and fingers stiff.

A beat of silence stretches between them. Megumi’s voice cuts through again, softer, but with the same persistent edge.

“So... you’ll forgive me?”

She scoffs, shaking her head with a bitter laugh, her patience wearing thin. Of course, he would ask something so dumb.

Finally, her eyes land on the familiar packaging.

Toothpaste.

She picks it up, turning to face him with a glare that could melt stone.

“No. And if that’s all you have to say, then I’m leaving.”

With that, she brushes past him once again, this time with more force, walking swiftly toward the checkout counter. She can still smell the lingering scent of cigarettes, the same stale air she’d walked into when she first arrived.

The conveyor belt moves slowly beneath her, and she places the toothpaste down with a faint clink. Her fingers automatically slip into her pocket, searching for her wallet.

And then, she hears it—the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind her.

She doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. Her shoulders sag, frustration mounting in her chest. Of course he’d follow me.

She groans internally, preparing herself for whatever nonsense he’ll say next.

"Will this guy ever get a fucking life?" she mutters under her breath, barely holding back an eye roll.

“I got it,” a voice called from behind her.

The cashier, unfazed by the tension hanging in the air, set her pornographic magazine aside and casually picked up the toothpaste. Her cigarette, still smouldering in her mouth, bobbed up and down as she scanned the item, her expression completely indifferent to the moment's awkwardness.

She paused, her eyes narrowing as she studied Megumi from head to toe, as if waiting for him to do something else.

"Oh shit, uh, and these too," he stammered, placing the box of Magnum condoms on the conveyor belt, nervously scratching his neck.

Yn's eyes flickered to the box and then back to him. "Big night planned, huh?" she said, her voice dripping with mock amusement as she glared at the condoms.

Megumi’s face reddened. "Oh, uh, those aren’t for me," he mumbled, his discomfort palpable.

She merely gave a disinterested "Mhm," chewing the inside of her gum as the cashier processed the transaction.

Megumi opened his mouth, ready to defend himself, but was cut off by her.

"Did you guys want a bag?" she asked flatly.

"Yeah, please," Yn answered quickly, eager to leave the awkwardness behind.

The sound of plastic rustling filled the silence, only intensifying the tension. The cashier bagged their items with a practised, almost bored efficiency—as if this kind of transaction was the least exciting thing to happen all day.

Before Megumi could protest any further, a cloud of smoke from the cashier’s cigarette drifted in their direction. She didn’t even flinch.

“That’ll be 4250 yen, please,” she said lazily, still grinning, unfazed by the duo hacking their lungs out from the smoke.

Megumi quickly covered his mouth with his arm, pulling out his wallet with the sort of frantic haste only a person desperate to escape awkwardness can manage. He fumbled with his card, sliding it into the reader. The machine beeped.

Yn grabbed the bag in one swift motion, already on her way out of the store.

Megumi, looking flustered but relieved, gave a curt nod to the cashier before jogging after her, eager to leave the bizarre scene behind.

The cashier took another slow drag from her cigarette, her eyes following the two figures darting across the parking lot. She exhaled a thick plume of smoke, watching them with a detached amusement, tinged with something darker—something she didn’t care to name.

"Kids," she muttered to herself, shaking her head with a soft, resigned chuckle before turning her attention back to the magazine before her, as if it might shield her from whatever she couldn’t bear to witness.

—

The sharp click of shoes on wet concrete echoed in the cold night, piercing the stillness like a warning.

"Yn, please!" Megumi’s voice cracked, strained with exhaustion and desperation as he closed the gap between them.

Yn kept her head down, hands shoved deep into her pockets, the cold metal of the keys biting into her skin. Her pace quickened, heart racing as though the faster she moved, the less likely he would be able to reach her, to make her turn around. She couldn’t hear him. Not now. Not when everything she’d been holding back was on the edge of spilling over.

"Megumi, stop," she whispered, voice tight, trembling at the edges. "I already told you, I—"

Before she could finish, she felt his hand grip her wrist, pulling her to a halt. The sudden force of it made her breath catch, and for a moment, she was still trapped between the pull of his touch and the weight of her own resolve.

She looked at him, and everything inside her stilled.

His eyes weren’t the same. They were darker now, heavy with something deeper than she had ever seen in them before. No arrogance. No defiance. Only raw, unfiltered regret. Sadness. The kind that seemed to press in on his chest, making it hard to breathe, to think. He couldn’t meet her gaze for long; his eyes flickered to the ground, and for a moment, he looked like he might break. Like his whole world was about to shatter into a thousand pieces, right there on the wet pavement.

"Yn, please," he whispered, voice breaking, so full of pain it made her chest tighten. "I never meant any of it. What I said... it was so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you. I know... I know it’s selfish, asking you to stay, but I can’t... I can’t lose you. Please."

"Megumi, I—"

He cut her off, his voice hoarse, trembling with the weight of everything he hadn’t said before. "And I know you told me you weren’t ready for a relationship, and I’ve tried to understand that, to give you space. I’ve accepted it, even if it wasn’t easy. But..." His words faltered, and for a moment, he looked like he might swallow them back down, like they were too heavy for him to carry. But then he breathed in, steadying himself.

"But Yn... I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you. I would wait forever, if that’s what it took, because I want to be with you. I need to be with you. And not just because I miss you, or because I feel lost without you, but because... because, Yn, I want you. In a way I never thought I could want anyone."

He paused, the weight of his own confession sinking in, and when he spoke again, it was barely above a whisper, but it cut through the space between them with the quiet intensity of a truth he could no longer keep buried.

“So hate me all you want Yn, just please don’t shut me out. I’ve spent so much time thinking I could walk away, that I could let you go, but I can’t. I don’t want to. Not anymore."

His chest rose and fell with the effort of his words, like he was trying to catch his breath after running a race he didn’t even know he was in. His body trembled, not from fear, but from the sheer force of his emotions breaking through. His hand clenched at his side, his knuckles white, as if holding on to something he might lose if he let go. His eyes were fixed on hers, pleading without words, desperate without asking.

For the first time in a long time, there was no bravado, no walls between them. Only the quiet truth of a man who had finally realised that what he felt for her wasn’t something he could walk away from. And he was asking—no, begging—for her to see it, to feel it, too.

His grip on her wrist tightened, his fingers trembling. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes, as though the weight of his own guilt might crush him if he held her gaze for too long. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the torrent of emotion that was threatening to spill over, but it was there—raw, uncontained.

Yn exhaled, the weight of his words settling over her like a fog. She wanted to pull away, to shut herself off from him—everything inside her screaming for distance—but she couldn’t. Not with him standing there, broken, stripped bare in front of her.

She shook her head slowly, the words thick in her throat. "Megumi... I could never hate you." The confession hung in the air between them, fragile and heavy with everything they had left unsaid.

His eyes snapped back to hers, searching for something—anything—that would give him hope. And in that moment, when the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of them, a single streetlight flickered above them, casting his face in a pale, golden halo. She froze. In that soft glow, she remembered. She remembered how he had always been beautiful—how she saw him for the first time underneath the lucent lights with his guitar, to the man standing in front of her carrying nothing but a bag of toothpaste and condoms. For a fleeting second, it felt like time had both stopped and rewound, all at once.

A fragile shift passed between them, unspoken but undeniable. His hand slipped from her wrist, fingers brushing lightly against her skin as if afraid to touch her too firmly, as if the very act of reaching for her might undo them both. But then, with no more hesitation, no more words to hold them back, he kissed her.

It wasn’t a kiss of anger, of apology, or even of reconciliation. It was everything—everything they’d held back, buried too deep for too long. The crash of everything unspoken, everything broken, everything still raw between them. It was the kiss they should have shared ages ago, but neither of them had been ready for. It was the space between their words—the silence that had stretched so long, finally, finally given form.

And in that kiss, there was no more distance. No more fear. No more hesitation. Just the weight of everything they hadn’t let go of, suddenly, impossibly, all at once.

extras!

• panda sent the ynmegumi gc a text like “plan in motion” so they all celebrated with a movie night (??)

• dunno know WHY they thought it would work

• it did so ig it’s okay…

• they knew their plan worked after ynmegumi turned their location sharing off LMFAOOOO

• shoko was definitely fan service for ree (are you reading this ree? are you?? are you?? did you like it??? do i get a kiss on the cheek?? do i??)

• but her working in the pharmacy isn’t THAT ooc so #cry

• she did not gaf about ynmegumi😭 she just let them have their moment

• brought her flashbacks to stsg gay asses #LetGodBeTrueQuickly🙌🙌

• yn wants to be main character soooo bad omfg girl give it up

• complete parking lot fight slash makeup scene cliché SUE ME

• btw they left the toothpaste out on the gravel for some reason so yn did in fact not get the stupid ass toothpaste

• got the condoms though😛😛😛

• yuta will definitely be questioning as to why they were open

• may or may not have done something not very sft in the car but hey!! you didn’t hear it from me…

a/n: aaaand we’re back!!! how’s everyone doing? good? okay? horrible? all three? same❤️ i hope this sufficed for taking a week off (i’m still in my shackles) this was probably my favourite chapter to write. gonna lie and say it didn’t make me teary eyed towards the end… champagne coast being the recommended song of the week even though it was a gag for the first chapter is a full circle moment. a bit of tzc reeferences sprinkled in the chapter bc i love those girls to death (even though mitch gave up on chapter 2… she didn’t even make it to lesbian digresser… #shitfriendmoment😒) ANYWAYS enjoy and see you guys tmr!! <3

taglist: @shokosbunny @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @ichcocat @laughingfcx @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @starantulas @1l-ynn @sluttkuna @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm @syxoki

*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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CHOSEN ONE . . . t. kuroo + f! reader

"you're asking me to be rational. that is something that I know I cannot do. believe me, I wish I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't."

CONTAINS . . . mini series (let's all hold hands and see if this actually comes true), written content, star wars au (everyone cheers!), so the tags aren't huge: this is literally anakin and padme's story

WARNINGS . . . ANGST, so much angst, star wars typical violence, sci-fi (I know some people hate it), no happy ending, flawed (real) characters

STATUS . . . VERY inconsistent uploads, I'll write this whenever I feel the urge

TAGLIST . . . open, send an ask!

⋆⭒˚ thank you @lale-txt @wyrcan @nekozaki for listening to me yap about this! it will happen again (sooner than you think) ily <333

TABLE OF CONTENTS

⋆⭒˚ nightmares coming soon to a galaxy near you

taglist (gen)

@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses

@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks

@yogurtkags @bakery-anon @totallytatum @aozui @jadeoru

@hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @sandwhitches @angelichwv

@a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @crypt-0rchid

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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SERENDIPITY . . . kita shinsuke + f! reader

⤷ cartoon bandaids

notes/CWs: hurt comfort, very subtle mention of parental death, near anxiety/panic attack, blood, overstimulation from sound, kita makes it all better I stg, I wrote this in a single hour so don't look at my typos

The bathroom was eerily quiet, barren in sound other than the leaky sink she sat next to - a sink her father told her he'd fix, but never did. The constant drip into the porcelain made her flinch here and there, some splashes louder than others, as the sound seemed to echo and the world got smaller. She brought her legs up to her chest as the drip got louder; she sat on the floor of the bathroom with her back against the bathtub, and closed her eyes when the sound became almost deafening.

Drip.

She didn't mean to fly off the handle again. Didn't mean for her words to land sour with a farm hand - who now worked for her instead of her father. Didn't mean for it to escalate so quickly; although; she did mean to punch them.

Drip.

She could feel the blood still pooling in her mouth, a busted lip still bleeding due to a fight just moments ago. She could feel her knuckles getting sore; blood slipped down her fingers and dripped onto the floor next to her. She could feel the sharp pain in her cheek, a large bruise already forming along her cheek bone just under her eye.

Drip.

Then a knock.

She took a shaky breath as her body jerked at the sound; albeit soft, the sudden noise yanked her from hyper-focusing on the broken tap and onto the door. She heard her name, a question, a gentle concern, until the door opened.

She knew who it was before he walked in, knew the way he knocked twice instead of the usual three times like others did. Knew his voice despite the whisper he spoke in beyond the wooden door. Knew he would always ask to come in before fully entering.

“Can I join you?”

She nodded silently and averted her eyes to the ground, traced over the old grout of the bathroom tiles that needed replacing and rested her chin on her knee. She felt his presence next to her, felt him stare so deep into her soul that it began to hurt, until he finally dropped down and sat beside her.

“You okay?”

She nodded again silently. It wasn't usual for the woman to shut down after such an altercation; her normal routine went from fight to flight, so she escaped after the war was won. Locked herself away, as to not be lectured from her father - but her father wasn't there anymore. Only her. But old habits die hard.

Without looking over, she could tell his eyes immediately stopped at the blood on her hands. They usually did. As his first instinct was to care and to maintain, while hers was to continue on, even with rusty, old parts.

“You're bleedin’, honey.”

“Most of it isn't mine.” A curt reply all the while keeping her eyes to the ground.

“But some of it is,” she heard him let out a gentle breath. “Can I clean it off?”

She nodded.

A sense of hatred crept into her veins as she knew the peroxide and bandages were in the cabinet beside her.

Drip.

She hated that it was so close to her.

Drip.

Hated that what was needed to clean wounds was already there.

Drip.

Hated that this happened so often he knew exactly where everything was.

Drip.

“Please fix that god damn sink tomorrow or I'm rippin’ it out myself!” Her voice was loud in comparison to the latter silence, echoing off the bathroom walls and making him flinch. “It's driving me insane, Shinsuke! I can't fuckin’ think without hearing that god forsaken thing dripping!”

Then there was silence again.

He looked over to her in concern, his brows scrunched together as he stopped himself from grabbing anything else from the cabinet. He was still, quiet, as he looked over her face, that was bruised and contorted in anguish, almost desperation, before he gave her a soft smile.

“I'll fix it later today if you want? It won't take long.”

She nodded and finally found it within her to look up at him. Kita was always, without fail, gentle and kind - something that she envied, but never voiced - loving and selfless. She wished to be more like him, but her only folly was her ease to anger.

He was gentle when he asked for her hands, gentle when he wiped the dried blood from her knuckles, gentle when he cleaned them despite her hiss of pain. He was loving when he asked which bandaid she wanted, as all they had were choices of cartoons - she chose one with an Eevee, and said it made her think of him. He was loving when he carefully placed it, and loving when he kissed it after.

“Thank you.” Two words she rarely ever said, as she saw it weak to need the help of others.

“For what?”

“Takin’ care of me.”

“I love you too much not to, honey.”

taglist (open, send an ask)

@wyrcan @chizunata @seroh @chemiru @aozui

@h3xi2g0n3 @localgaytrainwreck @mollyrolls @causenessus @diorzs

@rory-cakes @phoenix-eclipses @pattys-got-cakes @girlkissersco

@jaynawayna @aliensstolemyheart @le000xxgrd @cherrypieyourface @theycallmenanamisgirl

@softpia @bokutoko @guitarstringed-scars @totallytatum @bakery-anon

@hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @eggyrocks @jadeoru

@sandwhitches @angelichwv @wakashudou

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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preview of warnings!!! graphic design is not my passion but

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN. . . single dad! meian + f!reader

✮⋆˙ notes/CWs - brief mention of parental death, heavy underlying emotions, meian's a flirt when he wants to be, typos probably

It was all too early for the man that morning, the sun barely even breaking the horizon when his alarm went off. He rubbed at tired eyes the whole morning, fighting off the urge to do nothing more than get back in bed. But he couldn't do that, even if he had the chance - he had more than just himself to take care of.

His daughter, Himawari, always, without fail, fought him on waking up; and now that it was earlier than normal, it was a complete lost cause. She fought against waking up, fought against getting ready, and fought against going outside because she refused to wear a jacket. But the chill outside turned her off to the idea of going to school all together. Stubborn, and moody from the change of schedule, he had to all but drag her to get in the car - she fought against that too.

They had to get to her school earlier than normal, his schedule clashed with all other times to meet with her teacher - a prerequisite, of sorts, to meet all new families at the beginning of the year - and he finally bit the bullet and asked for a time before school. Thank god her teacher agreed; despite the coaxing and near begging the man had to do to get his daughter in the building to begin with.

She walked beside him, arms crossed over her chest with a scowl; a rather adorable sight at how small she was and the Hello Kitty bookbag she adorned. (But Meian told anyone who would listen to not let her fool them, she was as devilish as they came.) He shortened his strides whenever he walked with his daughter, he was tall enough that one stride was about three of hers; so he opted for picking her up with a groan. “Come here, you're killing me.”

She fought against being picked up as well, “put me down!” A loud whine that nearly echoed in the empty hallway, “I don't wanna’ be held right now!” He only sighed as she squirmed against him, but eventually gave up once she realized she was no match.

“It's not my fault you walk slow,” he groaned, but the smallest of smiles peaked at his lips once he cut his eyes over to her. She pouted, huffed, and did anything she could to make him feel bad; but it didn't work.

“Maybe you just walk too fast.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Hima.”

The hallway was long, almost liminal as the doors seemed to never end. Each decorated, or not, which showed the personality of who occupied it. The school was basically empty, besides the few staff members who got to work early on their own free will, and quiet. Quiet enough to hear the small sigh of defeat from his daughter, and she now rested her head on his shoulder. “Dad, I'm tired.”

“I know.” Good god did he know. “Maybe if you went to bed on time you wouldn't be so sleepy.”

“But I can't sleep when you're not there,” she sighed again. He felt his heart drop at her words, even though he knew them all too well. Every babysitter he ever had loved the girl, but every single one had never gotten her to fall asleep. The girl refused every time; and if she didn't, she laid in bed until she heard the front door open and shut, and the familiar voice of her father. She would drive herself to sleep deprivation all because Meian wasn't there. “I miss you too much to go to sleep.”

“I know,” he repeated, much more softly than the latter. Filled with care, and hinted with regret, though he knew he had no other choice but to not be home. Games were important, not like the stray practices he would miss here and there; and the games that were later in the day he unfortunately couldn't bring her to. “I miss you too.” There was a small moment of silence, not knowing what to say as he felt his daughter fidget with the sleeve of his shirt.

The man prided himself with his encouragement skills and wise words, but more often than not he couldn't find them for himself. There was a missing piece to his mind it seemed, gaping and dreary as he wished nothing more than to be a good father - but to him, he always fell short. There were times he wasn't home, important events like school plays and concerts missed from commitments to his team, he couldn't help her with her homework as he wasn't home when she got back because of practice, and the period of time away for nationals felt like a stake through the heart every time it rolled around.

An optimist with others, but a pessimist with himself. Always falling just shy of what he thought a good parent should be and what a good parent should do. It was utterly exhausting.

Despite his aching heart and rattling mind, he gave her a small smile and desperately tried to change the subject - more for himself rather than her. “Why don't you tell me about your teacher?”

He heard the girl hum before she lifted her head to look at him with tired eyes. “I think you'll like her,” a tone that finally seemed to melt away the prior attitude. “She's really nice, not like my teacher last year, and she makes crafts with us.” She smiled, the first time that entire morning, “yesterday we read about bunnies and we made plates that looked like bunnies.”

“I know, you brought it home.” He smiled at the reminiscent thought; he came home just after she did, and she all but knocked him down running to show him the plate with construction paper and pom poms glued to it. “I'm actually pretty jealous, ‘sounds fun making bunny plates.” He chuckled, “you think the guys would want to make them?” Hima was well aware of the team he played for, moreover his teammates. She often saw them at the handful of practices and games that he took her to, but more so knew of them through the stories he shared.

She laughed at his question, and he took a silent sigh of relief. “Mr. Hinata might,” she giggled, “but I know Mr. Bokuto would!” The child picked favorites, most definitely; however, her favorite, out of all of them, was Sakusa - and he still had no unearthly reason why other than the dry humor he offered. Every practice he ever brought her to was always met with Hima hanging off of the man, annoying him, and pressing every button Sakusa had - and Meian let her, a silent act of revenge for the consistent arguments he started with Atsumu.

“You're right, he would.” Bokuto was just as childish as she, if not more - he would probably beg the man to make one if given the chance. “Do you want to show him yours later today?” While he didn't plan to take the girl to practice, the sentiment of longing still lingered in the back of his mind; twisted and turned until he felt sick. The awful feeling of thinking he spent too much time away from her returned; and he hoped bringing her with him might mend how he felt, and maybe make her tired enough she would, for once, go to sleep on time.

“Really?” She asked excitedly. The girl cheered just before continuing on with her child like rambles. Himawari could go on for hours, days really, if he let her (which he more often than not did). She enjoyed talking about just about anything, and would find side story after side story as she went on through her rants. But the man never minded, he found it endearing that the girl had picked up his outgoing attitude.

He smiled as she continued on, rounding a corner to the hallway that her classroom was on. The school was quite big, a primary school that housed kindergarten through sixth, so every grade level was split into smaller hallways. The man surprised himself that he could remember where to go, as the only other time he went was when she was in first grade.

“She's really pretty, y'know?” Meian cut his eyes towards the girl, still holding her within his arms, and scrunched his brows.

“Who?” The word laced with confusion as his daughter only giggled again.

“My teacher.” He couldn't help but let a small breath pass his lips, and fought against rolling his eyes entirely. Himawari was prone to talking up the people within her life; which was an admirable trait to have, he was happy the girl wasn't a bully. But she was apt to make the older women around her larger than life - to play matchmaker. The girl couldn't remember her birth mother, she had passed when she was only a year old, but Meian made it a point to consistently remind the girl of her. Consistently reminded her, and himself, they were never abandoned.

That never stopped Hima from yearning for another woman's presence though. Didn't stop her from the small smiles she would give her father when talking about women much older than she, his age, with an err of playfulness that made him roll his eyes. So to her latter statement he only hummed, “and what do you say about me then, huh?”

“That you're old.”

“Ouch-” he rolled his eyes at her nonchalant attitude, “I'm not even that old, Hima.”

“Yeah, ok.” Her sarcastic tone made him sigh, and he thought to himself that maybe he allowed her to hang about Sakusa all too much - his blunt choice of words rubbed off on her in ways he couldn’t imagine. Never rude, but curt replies that never failed to make him groan. But he kept his mouth shut on the topic as he continued walking, and thanked the stars he was almost to his destination.

“Put me down, put me down!” The girl began to squirm in his arms, desperately trying to escape him to go to her teacher’s room that finally came within their view. The man quickly caved, picking his battles wisely with his daughter’s already flighty mood, and figured it wasn’t all that bad for her to be excited for school - quite the opposite really.

He watched as his daughter ran through the doorway of the open classroom, and heard a cheery voice greet her from the other side. The voice was light and airy, joy mingling amongst syllables with every word spoken. There was an intent behind it that felt sound, secure - a voice that most definitely belonged to a second grade teacher.

“Dad said I can bring my bunny plate to his practice and show his friends!”

“Really? That's so cool, I bet they'll love it.” A small smile peaked on his lips at the woman’s words; although he couldn’t see it just yet, he could practically hear the smile she wore. “Did you get to show your dad yet?”

Yet.

The word alone made his steps slow just before he reached the door, letting his pace taper off before completely stopping and he let out a silent breath. It was her job to care, to provide comfort and joy, to create a sense of security and structure - but Himawara had no structure in her life. And it was all his fault, or so he thought. The girl, frankly, never knew her father’s schedule, as it always dialed and changed according to the needs of the team. He desperately tried, at any given opportunity, to cling to time with her - and while he cherished every second, it was never enough.

He couldn’t help her as much as he liked with homework - yet. He couldn’t pick her up from school most days - yet. And he couldn’t find it within the chasms of his mind to give himself grace - yet.

“I did! He put it on the fridge!” He wished he could be more like his daughter - happy and unknowing in the reality of real life. A childlike sense of certainty that everything was fine, that one could find joy in everything if they looked hard enough, and an unwavering belief that her father did everything under the sun for her. He couldn’t help but smile softly at the thought, and allowed the burden of ‘yet’ to pass him.

“Now that's where real masterpieces go,” she mused. “Did you tell him the book we read?”

“Not the title at least,” he chuckled as he rounded the doorway. “Everything else about it? Absolutely. I could probably quote it to you at this point.” A joke that landed fairly well, as he heard the woman laugh in response, but the comedic energy the man once held was quickly replaced with awe as he leaned against the doorway.

Himawari was wrong, utterly wrong. Her teacher wasn't pretty - she was beautiful.

He felt his stomach lurch to his throat, a brief sensation but one that made him cough. The realization that the woman was his daughter's teacher made him feel rather small, stupid even, and wildly out of his element. He woke up that morning and simply got ready for practice - a slam packed schedule as the practice started just after this meeting would be over - and now he deeply regretted it.

“‘Morning, Mr. Meian.” He felt like a puddle of the man he once was only seconds ago, before she said his name. A subtle code switch that he picked up on from her - a voice for talking to children, and a voice for adults. He felt his mind go blank and nearly asked her to talk to him as if he were a child, maybe then he wouldn't have been so enamored.

He couldn't help but linger in the doorway to the classroom, the exposed skin of his arm leaning against the cool wood of the frame. Hands shoved into the pockets of track pants as he watched the woman retrieve papers from her desk. Only then did she meet his eyes and his breath hitched in his throat. She paused for a fraction of a second, her pace stuttering just before forcing her eyes to the ground and continuing on.

This was terrible.

“You can come in,” her voice was softer in comparison to her latter statement, nervous even. It made him second guess why he was here in the first place, despite the flicker of his daughter playing with a puzzle on the floor nearby.

“How are you?” He asked, trying to fight against the heat that wanted to surge to his face. He felt silly making small talk, the man always fell flat on his face when it came to it, but felt even sillier if he had said nothing at all.

“Tired,” she spoke through a chuckle, and he could tell. Behind a, semi, forced smile was tired eyes and a look of exhaustion. It was only Wednesday, and he suddenly felt bad for making the meeting in the first place. “But I'm here. How about yourself?”

“About the same as you,” he smiled. “Sorry again for wanting this meeting so early, it's the only time that worked.” An apology didn’t seem like it should be enough now that he looked at the woman. Albite pretty, she looked weary, burnt out, and he sensed a twinge of discontent - like she didn’t want to be there in the first place. Groveling may have been a better thing to do, but it wasn’t as if he had a choice in the time he chose. He exhausted all other options from a meticulous schedule that was downright impossible to change.

“Don't worry about it,” she shrugged, “I'm just glad you didn't want it way after school.”

“Feels like a crime to make you stay that long.”

“It should be.” She met his eyes again and smiled, one that seemed genuine rather than forced this time. And he watched her eyes flicker to the other side of the room after a moment. “We can sit back there,” she motioned towards a semi circle table in the back of the room. “It's a little cluttered, but it's better than sitting at a desk made for a second grader.” The table didn't seem cluttered in the slightest; occupied with stacks of papers and different containers, each having a different color that he only guessed was for ease of organization.

She sat down, he followed, and began shifting the papers and containers over, now lining the edges with organized chaos than the latter neat piles. “Sorry,” she chuckled. “They come back here to work with me, so keeping everything neat is almost unheard-of.”

He let a laugh pass his lips just before he cut his eyes to his daughter, then promptly returned his gaze to her. “Trust me, I know. She'll pull out everything and decide she doesn't even want to play anymore.”

He felt his heart squeeze when she laughed in response, it was a laugh he could easily get used to, a laugh he wanted to hear more often than just at school. It was gentle, lighthearted, and voluntary - it didn’t feel like a laugh she had to force, as he suspected she did often. His mind kept circling back to the sound as she spoke; he didn’t even realize she had formally started the meeting just minutes ago. His thoughts were the furthest from where they should have been, as he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her.

Dazed, seemingly on cloud nine, he didn’t register that she spoke of grades, behavior, and reading level. He simply nodded along as he tried to memorize every detail of the woman in front of him: her eyes were dark and tired, she had smile lines on the sides of her lips, of which he guessed were from years of doing nothing but, her clothes were casual but nice despite the knowledge that children were frankly disgusting, and the side of her dominant hand was stained with multicolored marker, which he only imagined was the set up of a craft for later today.

“Do you have any questions?” The sentiment jerked him back to the present, and his fuzzy mind cleared quickly once he realized he didn’t register a single thing she spoke about. “Anything you want to add, maybe?”

“When's the next time you're doing these meetings?” The only query that made headway in his mind left his lips at the same time; speaking without thinking, and noticing too late what managed to tumble from his tongue.

“Conferences?” There was a sense of confusion riddled in her voice; if he were listening, he would have known that his daughter was doing just fine - excelling even.

“Yeah,” he nodded. And despite his better judgment, he doubled down on the sentiment entirely. “When's the next time I can talk to you?” He watched the woman’s eyes widen, and for a moment he felt like an idiot until he noticed a barely there, bitten back smile.

“You could always email me?” It was a subtle change in conversation, but one that both picked up on quickly. He was convinced the woman was trying to make his heart stop when she locked eyes with him, a cheekiness to the once serious discussion now diminished. “I respond pretty quickly actually.”

“Do you, now?” He leaned forward slightly, enough to rest his elbows against the table. At first the distance between the two was vast, professional, but he closed the door to professionality and locked it when he leaned in closer to her. She bit the inside of her cheek, still fighting the smile that desperately wanted to bloom on her lips. “That's good to know. But, I feel like I get a million emails every day. I'd never live it down if I missed one from you.”

“Things happen,” she shrugged with a gentle chuckle. “Did you have a better alternative though?” It was then he realized she wasn’t talking to him like a teacher anymore; instead, the tone had shifted again. This was actually her - not a teacher, not a professional - her. A coy change in the color of her voice that made his heart do flips, but played upon regardless.

“Getting your number was one.”

The battle between her and her ever growing smile ultimately ended in defeat at his proposition. Her lips pulled upward in an inviting smile and she cast her eyes to the table, a sheepishness washing over her at the man’s boldness - but she couldn’t deny that she liked it. “It's not every day I give a parent my personal number.”

“We don't need to talk about school.”

“Then what exactly would we talk about?”

“If you're free this weekend, or any weekend really?” The question left his lips with ease, despite the nerves that overflowed him when he first entered. He saw her eyes flicker back up to meet his own, catching his gaze once more, to which his heart hammered in his chest.

“What did you have in mind, Mr. Meian?”

“We don't have to decide that now,” a cheeky reply as he flashed her a smile. “We have until Saturday to figure that out.”

“I guess we do.” She looked down again, biting at the inside of her cheek, before reaching next to her at a stack of sticky notes. “You better not use this to ask me questions about second grade math,” she teased as she wrote the number down. Her handwriting was pretty and neat, a whimsy to it that matched her job to a tee. Once done, she took it off the stack and handed it to him, their fingers briefly touching as he took it from her. There was a pause when their fingers met; her fingers were cold against his own and it sent a shockwave through him. He could die happy if he was able to feel that again.

“That sucks. Because I've been really struggling with adding and subtracting.” He broke the brief silence with a boldness, one that looked all too good on him, and he smiled again. She rolled her eyes and laughed at his statement, “I’ll text you later today.”

“I hope you do.”

taglist (open, send an ask)

@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses

@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks

@yogurtkags @bakery-anon @totallytatum @mollyrolls @aozui

@jadeoru @hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @sandwhitches

@knightofwands-upright

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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you look great in that frog costume

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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DROP OUT . . . DAY N' NITE

WHAT'S PLAYING ? ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊| day ‘n’ nite, kid cudi || “day and night // I toss and turn, I keep stress in my mind // I look for peace but see I don't attain // what I need for keeps, this silly game we play”

masterlist

⋆˙ the shittiest corner store you will ever find in your life. doesn't sell anything you actually need or want for that matter. mostly off brand stuff and flavors of candy no one ever really buys ( thank you @aozui ). they have stupidly cheap cigarettes though and they're open 24/7.

⋆˙ choso and yn started working around the same time together right out of high school. sukuna has kind of always been there. he's the store's resident older, grumpy guy (he's actually a raging asshole.)

⋆˙ those three are the only ones that have ever stayed. the retention for this place is insane, that's why they're always hiring.

taglist (open, send an ask)

@tomurafrlover23 @kr1nqu @popchrries @stillnotherapy @creamflix

@nekozaki @gigiiiiislife @tomikixd @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @vorfreudevortex

@kameyyy

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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WHY IS EVERYONE SLEEPING ON THIS SCENE?? I BARLEY SEE POSTS ABT THIS FRAME. HE'S SO AAAAAAAAAA.

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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morning ☀️

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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yutamaki <3

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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“it’s not that bad, baby, can’t we just try again?”

virgin!satoru looks up at you from where his chin rests on your stomach, though you aren’t sure you can call him a virgin anymore. he holds your thighs apart, your sore pussy on sweet display for him. he presses a gentle kiss to your clit, which pulls a moan from you, but you stand strong.

“no way,” you shake your head. “absolutely fucking not. you’re… way too big.”

satoru grins, “thank you!”

“i’m not complimenting you, asshole,” you try and shift away from him, but gojo has your hips pressed into the mattress. “it hurts, toru. it’s too much.”

another kiss to your clit. “but she’s so needy for me,” he whines. “cant you see? so fucking wet… she can take me.”

“i can’t. it won’t fit.”

you didn’t think his pretty baby-blues could darken, but they do. satoru, your sweetheart, nips at your clit—only barely, but enough to make you gasp.

“you will,” he says, voice low. “i’ll make it fit.”

you can’t deny it, his tone only makes you even needier. you write under his grip, and his tongue darts out to lick his lips—he’s appraising you, studying his prey before bouncing. and he’s the virgin.

“oh, and after i fuck you, can we go get sushi?”

you blink at him. “what?”

“you know,” he scoots himself up and taps the head of his aching cock against your clit a few times. “to celebrate making it fit.”

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totallytatum · 2 months ago

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(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: burnt french toast

masterlist

extras!

• satoru gojo helping out his students to the higher ups in every universe

• public apology on main? oh bros down BAD

• cue the pining and yearning arc😍

• toge and panda were laughing at all the videos of megumi in the taco bell parking lot😭

• toge def retweeted his fav ones on main and then got told off by gojo LMFAO

• i feel like nobara has used that reaction image before but idgaf ITS TRUE AND REAL

• PLEASE TELL ME YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABT WITH THE SANTA EDITS

• santa im writing to you because i want a pink pony for christmas…

• maki saying butch is canon

• i know she runs mcdonald’s like it’s the navy🫡

• the hate for kit connor has me seething

• no i haven’t watched heartstopper and i don’t plan to

• maki & nobara ARENT as mad this time bc like they know yn won’t do anything stupid and plus ig it’s justified… i think?

• the guys actually…. bonding?

• tridant not fighting for once*NOT CLICKBAIT*

• is this the bromance we’ve all been waiting for?

• this truely is my she’s just a phase😍🫰

• shakes magic 8 ball the stars say sukuna wants me bad !!! come here baby i’ll eat ur burnt french toast💔

a/n: ok maybe i over exaggerated how bad it was gonna be just a tad bit… 🤗 i was gonna initially have a written part for yn and sukuna but it just felt WRONG lmfao like it lowkey sounded like the megumi one so no thank you !! :/ also i know the party girls gc is LONG but its much needed i think !! anyways sorry it’s late u guys know me i’m never on time w posting :3 happy sjap saturday !!

*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!

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totallytatum · 3 months ago

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Im sure he has an oral fixation

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totallytatum · 3 months ago

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songs in the gravel . . . a. miya + f!reader

⋆｡ bitter winds | wc: 769

warnings . . . angst, failed past relationship, talk of aging and the feelings associated with it, feelings of being left out/left behind, regret, loneliness

The man sighed as he leaned against the kitchen counter, the marble edge leaving a small indentation on his arm from just how long he’d been standing there. He didn’t mean to get carried away with doom scrolling through social media, his other hand on his cheek. Didn’t mean to roll his eyes as another one of his brother’s wedding photos passed his feed, and surely didn’t mean to linger on a photo that made his heart ache. A simple photo, really, a few friends gathered in a bar and nothing more. But it was her. It was always her. He felt his stomach drop as soon as the picture popped up minutes earlier, and felt a pang that rattled his insides all the way to the bone.

He couldn’t help but stare, to hover over the picture for far too long. He hadn’t spoken to her in years, frankly forgot about her until the moment hit him with force and nearly brought him to his knees. She was a bit older, as was he, and despite the wide grin she held in the image he could pick out the small lines near her lips that weren’t there before. Maybe she stayed in the sun while in his absence, maybe it was stress, or the daunting fact that both were getting older. He often tried to repress the thought of aging, but the few, tiny gray hairs that peaked through faux blonde made it hard to forget. It was even harder knowing that everyone around him seemed to progress while he did not.

The off season brought him home, but home was empty. No longer living with his parents, but a rather nice apartment that he used to share with his brother. But his brother had gotten married a few months ago, and left the apartment cold and empty. No more laughter, no more teasing, and no more seeing Osamu’s stupid face in the morning. At first, he was overjoyed with the concept of living alone. But then the loneliness crept in. Settled in shallow veins late at night when he tried to go to sleep, and remained throughout the day as every corner he turned held no one.

He felt like he was getting left behind. Hometown friends coming and going, moved entirely, or had other things to do than drink in a barren apartment. Kita had gotten married, started a family, and now lived on a farm. Suna would rather stay in Shizuoka than the “hick ass city” (as he put it) of Hyōgo, so he was rarely ever in town anymore. Aran, while home more often, was often hard to reach. And his teammates, understandably, made plans to see their own families during the off season - leaving him, undeniably alone.

Excruciatingly alone.

The isolation was gentle at first, slowly creeping upon him like a pot starting to boil. But as he still looked at the picture in front of him, the bubbles began to roll until finally spilling over. She was happy, she was laughing, she had friends - she didn’t remember him anymore. The nauseating feeling of being left out hit him in his chest and he felt the sudden urge to heave, to spill his guts right then and there.

Osamu always called the woman “the one who got away” in regards to Atsumu. In reality, the man let it happen. Too preoccupied in his career, and with little to no balance within his life, he let the relationship fall through his fingers like sand. It wasn’t until nearly a year after, he realized the hollow ache in his chest without her in his life. An emptiness that ate away at him, nipping and biting until there was nothing left - a shell of the man he once was. But as years passed, he started to repress the wretched feelings. Bottled them up and crammed them down within the chasms of his mind, never to be felt again.

Until now.

The man put his phone face down on the counter roughly; the sharp snap of the case hitting cold marble made his ears ring in contrast to the quiet apartment. He put his hands to his face and covered his eyes with a loud sigh, shaky as it took up a sense of desperation. The sinking feeling of regret trickled into his mind as he stood there, elbows still against the cool marble and calloused hands over his face, until it completely devoured him. Swallowed him whole, with not a single piece left, and he once again felt alone.

Completely, and utterly, alone.

“Fuck.”

taglist (open, send an ask)

@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses

@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks

@yogurtkags @bakery-anon @totallytatum @mollyrolls @aozui

@jadeoru @hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @sandwhitches

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