#been trying to live by this :]
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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Michael Afton gets owned in FNAF 4
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf 4#fnaf cassidy#evan afton#david afton#Fredbear#michael afton#jeremy fitzgerald#I wanna believe so bad Cassidy and David were friends when they were alive#IT WOULD add up am why Cassidy is so friendly to him#especially in FNAF 3/the survival book#where she’s actively trying to get him to remember his own name#SO THEY HAD TO OF BEEN BESTIES (delusional)#Cassidy kills michael live PFF#nobody can bully her bestie 😤😤
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you want them to text back but that's anxious attachment isn't it. it's just that you can feel on the wind when you're not wanted anymore. when they've fallen out of love in any small part of their marrow. you have a hawk's eye for disharmony. you can tell when she has begun packing her things.
don't be annoying. you want to write: i have never experienced unconditional love as an explanation but isn't that pathetic. in adulthood all love is conditional and it should be. you've been to too much therapy. touch grass. how sappy can you be.
but they don't reach for your hand while they're driving. they forget to ask you how you're doing. the call times no longer read 12:34:19. they're 30 minutes and perfunctory before she says baby please, i'm tired. i need to go to sleep. where in her life do you fit. why is it that you never fit into anyone's life very long. oblong creature with so many needs, spilling up and out and over everything. it's a fucking shame the first time she said she loved you it was for your independence. and now look at you.
hollow pit in your stomach, body shaking. fuck, not again. you're not going to ruin another relationship like this, codependent and toxic, spiraling. and in the other half of your brain: if that's your wife, wouldn't she want to hear it? wouldn't it be fine? wouldn't she just comfort you and you can both move on and nobody dies?
but you're crowding her! read another instagram Positive Vibes Only type of post that talks about calming your heart and your brain and your body. try to sit in silence. the thing is that you do have a life outside of her, remember? go back to it.
great news, your parents fucked you up and now you have no idea how to deal with love. you just keep wanting to be chosen. to be real to someone, all the way through. real and kept. held closely. seen as precious to somebody. why even is that? didn't you always swear that people can and should complete themselves? why are you so constantly driven to beg for love, doglike and barking?
it's just the tiny things. it's just that you have to weigh every silence and sentence like bricks on an exposed belly. you have no idea how to shut it off. every alarm bell in your body saying: this isn't safe. start scrambling. she's already going.
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGH I HATE LIVING IN THIS SHIT OF A BODY!!!!!!!!#anxious attachment#is such an UTTER BITCH~!!!!!!!!#AND THE THING IS THAT EVERYONE IS LIKE ''JUST HEAL FROM IT''#AND IM LIKE. BITCH I HAVE BEEN TRYING. I DID A LOT OF IT. I STILL HAVE LIKE. MENTAL#FUCKIN#ILLNESS#im so much better now. but i have days :'( and like .... the grief is bringing out the worst in me#im trying but it's all just like ....... bad in there
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every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.
if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.
#it’s hard because I’m trying not to push myself too hard with mono#the nerve damage stuff is scary#so I’m doing my best to have a zen attitude about all these goings on#but like another surprise 3.5k expense?? how is anyone supposed to live in this world?#there will reach a point where I’m forced to sell this house.#because I don’t know how much longer I can do this all#sorry to be nothing but complaints recently. but things have been hard!
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Wanted to draw the monkeys snuggling but then lore happened lmao😭😭😭
This is the aftermath to Wukong deciding he’s gonna look for ways to get rid of LBD, and he’s just thinking over all his options and then having to leave his family and MK while LBD is out there
And I wanted to just draw how soft they are at night and that Mac cuddles Wukong back whenever he can tell something is wrong, since I’m always drawing Wukong as the clingy one lol
Also also, Macaque’s reaction came from him remembering all the times Wukong would randomly “leave” for years even decades in the past, and it’s been centuries since Wukong’s left the island so Mac panicked for a second thinking Wukong finally got bored of what they got going on
Bonus

Haven’t decided yet if Macaque ever told Wukong how he was revived, if we go with Wukong not knowing Mac ever died then he never really asked Mac about it and Macaque never brought it up because he never liked talking about his death
#lmk#shadowpeach#3am au#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#chat is it gay to cuddle with you ex-best friend who you have two kids with and have been living in the same house for centuries?🤨🤨🤨#they is not beating any allegations and they don’t even try at night😭😭😭#the monkeys put up facades during the day and act up their beef#but at night they just let down their guard and just let themselves be
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a dænce of roëmænce
depictions of the ace experience never seem to include the nightmare-borne skeleton creature from hell so kudos to the dimension 20 team for their commitment to accurate rep
#my art#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#ive been watching the new season and god i love baron what a little freak#junior year has also solidified riz as an all time fav so this was truly inevitable#i just love the concept of a “my girlfriend who lives in canada” lie gone horribly wrong#uh oh! your girlfriend is real and he lives in your briefcase#try not to die :)
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Before Jason makes his debut as Red Hood, he goes apartment hunting.
And the thing about Gotham is, all of the apartments that would make for good safe houses, are safe houses. The Bat’s safe houses. If Jason wants to set up shop, he’s got to get creative. This means being willing to look the other way about some things. Namely, living with other people.
Jason gets a roommate.
Sure, he’d found a couple of spots that fit some of the criteria he used for making safe houses, but not all apartments were equal. And having a semi-functioning civilian cover was useful. Sometimes.
All this to say that Jason responded to a craigslist post of some guy looking for a roommate. The post was written well enough, decent grammar and a fair enough price. Unlike some of the places he’d “toured.”
He has to trudge up a few flights of stairs to get to the place, because roof access is always high on the priority list, and knocks on the door. He waits a few minutes, hears someone check the peephole, and then the sound of at least five separate locks being undone.
With the door finally open, he gets a good look at the guy’s face. Too good of a look, actually.
Because the man who opens it is Dick Grayson.
#jason todd#dick grayson#red hood#nightwing#batman#does dick recognize him? either way hijinks ensue#jason and dick as roommates both trying to live cheap af vigilante lifestyles without taking bruce’s money#dick’s undercover on a long op with bruce and needs a trackable identity to convince whoever to recruit him#jason doesn’t know this. what he does know is that dick lives off cereal and dirty socks and he refuses to live like this#dick thinks it’s either a coincidence his roommate looks/acts like his dead brother or that he’s been made and someone is trying to prove#he’s a wayne to blow his cover. lex is high on his list for his ability to make clones. jason honestly can’t tell if dick thinks it’s him#and tries to hide that he’s back. both of them are in subtly trying to get the other to admit something#all it takes is one old nickname slip up and the cats outta the bag#also angst because dick convinces jason he was missed and he tried to avenge him when he realizes he’s not a clone#i think these two would be hilarious roommates. does the pit make an appearance at all?#maybe someone genuinely tries to break into their shitty apartment and jason breaks the guys arm because he sees someone enter dick’s room#that isn’t his brother. they keep odd hours and jason is trying to build his criminal empire.#at least one of them comes back beaten up and needs stitches. where they’re in the kitchen fixing the other up while they both ignore#they’ve figured the other out. it comes to a head when they’re both out and nightwing needs to be brought back to the cave#so hood goes on their comms and summons the batclan to come get him.#also ft. jason’s ptsd ridden ass and nightwing’s stellar comedy#batsiblings#batbros#batfamily
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@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal
#web weaving#webs#mine#theme: sickness#theme: sleep#theme: this is me trying#theme: i have no choice but to live with this#so. i havent made any webs in a while#ive been working full time and really struggling; turns out my thyroid has become unbalanced again#in addition to the cfs which has been actively ruining my life for eight years now#and this is how i feel about it. basically.#tw chronic illness#@mnvart#minava#kaveh akbar#twitter#@kosmogrl#@devinsturk#jasmine deporta#anais nin#@inkskinned#rora blue#hala alyan#chronic fatigue syndrome#myalgic encephalomyelitis
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god yellowjackets writers get off reddit and support characterizations you made important in season one. why the fuck was shauna so upset about travis's death in the adult tl if teen shauna did not care about him at all and wanted him dead. what happened to fucked up toxic on-and-off again insular trauma bond travnat cause they did not speak basically at all this season. why would you add MORE characters to make the audience care about instead of develop current favorites in a show with an already HUGE ensemble cast. why the fuck was she wearing that stupid fucking hat 25 years later. why is shauna's character like irreparably fucked now because they made her an evil wilderness dictator. what happened to group delusion and psychosis as way to disassociate from the horrors they committed and why was that scrapped in favor of making shauna bully everyone. dear god.
#frankly jackieshauna fanwork has always been/will always be better than the confirmation in the show#but whatever#im full of rage sorry#ada.txt#yellowjackets season 3#yellowjackets spoilers#yj#yj s3 spoilers#yj s3#shauna shipman#are the writers trying to convince me that shauna AT ALL believes in “it”. when we saw season 2 idk#idk whatever. wish more people descended into the cult instead of just travis and akilah idk.#travlot save me tho#lottie matthews#natalie scatorccio#travis martinez#travnat#travlottienat#living my truth fucked up throuple save me
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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defending megan isn't enough i need a gun
#i just don't understand why can't people leave her alone. she's so strong & has been through hell & back yet they keep trying to harm her in#new ways let her fucking live leave her alone assholes#megan thee stallion
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Feral kittens are so funny. They are so angry about everything--- including being petted, even when they start purring and cuddling--- but they want attention very much.
This boy is going to be fine. He's about 8 weeks old and has a little respiratory infection, but his biggest problem right now is that people keep repeatedly picking him up and calling him very cute and tiny and cuddling him.
#cat#work#archer#the scrape on my hand is entirely unrelated to his current hatred of humanity#i just have zero depth perception and did not realize a table was so close to me#in my defense it SHOULDN'T have been that close to me#because the table isn't USUALLY THERE#it doesn't LIVE in that corner who moved it there#anyway by the end of our cuddle time archer was actively seeking me out and trying to get back into my lap#hopefully i'll get another sick kitten soon#because i hate raising singletons
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Fear Toxin had an unintended side effect of the people of Gotham.
So! When Jonathan Crane was first testing his Fear Toxin, he was only ever testing on the Inmates at Arkham. And suprisingly a lot of the Patients there were from outside of Gotham (before it was converted into a revolving door of a Prison, it actually used to be an Asylum for the mentally ill. Who knew?).
Since he had so many Test Subjects from outside of Gotham, by pure coincidence he never actually got to test his Fear Toxin on a Born and Raised Gothamite. The first time he saw the effects of his Toxin on the people of Gotham, was his first Terror Attack on the City.
And it did not go as planned.
As it turns out, the People of Gotham are mostly Liminals due to the high percentage of Ectoplasm in the area the City was built on. And unfortunately for Scarecrow, Ectoplasmic Beings like Liminals have a very different reaction to distilled Fear than normal people.
Their Bodies process it differently, it is filtered by their Ectoplasm into pure energy, and that energy is directed straight into their Dopamine Centers.
Basically, Fear Toxin is Weed for Liminals.
Scarecrow accidentally released a cloud of pure Weed into the City. And the people loved it. It wasn't long before he was being inundated with requests for more of his "Product" from every single Crime Boss in the City.
This wasn't what he wanted! He wanted to see them squirm and riot in unadulterated Terror! He wanted to see them attack eachother in Fear, not raid the nearest 7/11 trying to satisfy their Munchies!
But whenever he tried to make a new Strain of Fear Toxin to get them with, they all rejoiced at his "New Product"! It was sickening!
He should have moved to Metropolis.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Scarecrow#Jonathan Crane#Fear Toxin is just Weed for Liminals#That's why Ghosts haunt the Living#Poltergeists are just Ghost Stoners looking for a High on some good old fashioned Human Fear#Though they might need to try out that new thing they've been hearing about from Gotham#The Bats obviously arrest Crane#But the first time they did it while tweaked off their minds because they didn't know to expect a Gas Attack#Batman spent that entire night munching on the Lolipops he kept in his Utility Belt#Not that anybody who saw that would remember#They were too busy trying to break open the nearest vending machine to get their Munchies
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Oh, How Badly It Lingers
#the grief of not trying yknow#like there's so much grief at all those missed opportunities no matter what they were#you move passed it you move on#and then it hits you suddenly that you wasted your life doing something you really didn't want to do#because you were too scared to do the things you wanted to do#or maybe you never would've been able to do them anyway#but you didn't try#you never tried so you'll never know#and that grief lingers#forever#yknow?#web weave#web weaving#quotes#words#on grief#on living
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they tried to rebrand as The Criminals but riz is literally the city council's treasurer and also turns out people in their late 20s don't really name their friend groups. so now they're The Intrepid Heroes
#fantasy high#figueroth faeth#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#yes this is sorta from the same thing Ive been doing for future!riz lol. that riz is the same design basically#just the above board sona#u can kiiinda tell which of the bad kids I have a very clear vision for their future design and which I kinda wing it for lol#kristen's tank top is white and the coat is galaxy tie dye btw. I didnt have the energy to express that in ink but thats the ult version#adaine I truly imagine to grow up to be the perpetual t shirt and jeans person but she carries her sword everywhere#gorgugs truth is that shes just hot she can wear anything. but I do give him the skirt hike bc I love him#I really like skirt hike... such a fun thing to put in designs. if ur garment has no variance in how it falls or drapes u can do it urself#this is also a little bit of an exercise in how much of an accessory I can freehand from memory#fig's bass I straight up did not fact check for. just rawdogging it memory only. same with fandrangor and adaine's crocs#I did write in my funny little document that gorgug takes up baking and is good at it bc I think itd be good for him#to do basically chemistry and math that also feeds people#out of them... kristen and riz would be Good good at it. but riz would get way too stressed abt the recipe and kristen bakes by#eyeballing the texture. fabian likes decorating but refuses to get anywhere near the heat of an oven. adaine isnt good at it first try#and is like well my effort goes to other things actually. fig Loves baking and Nobody lets her into the kitchen#idk why this manifests so clear in my head. must be bc of recent foccacia events#living in the subtropics is hell for baking nobody try it ok? I tell u
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