#been trying to live by this :]
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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Cat women
#furry art#cat furry#character design#original character#art#some charactersss from the same oc world as ari and cameron#I've been trying to update some of the designs I've drawn before and also draw ones that have been living in my brain exclusively for years
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Michael Afton gets owned in FNAF 4
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf 4#fnaf cassidy#evan afton#david afton#Fredbear#michael afton#jeremy fitzgerald#I wanna believe so bad Cassidy and David were friends when they were alive#IT WOULD add up am why Cassidy is so friendly to him#especially in FNAF 3/the survival book#where she’s actively trying to get him to remember his own name#SO THEY HAD TO OF BEEN BESTIES (delusional)#Cassidy kills michael live PFF#nobody can bully her bestie 😤😤
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you want them to text back but that's anxious attachment isn't it. it's just that you can feel on the wind when you're not wanted anymore. when they've fallen out of love in any small part of their marrow. you have a hawk's eye for disharmony. you can tell when she has begun packing her things.
don't be annoying. you want to write: i have never experienced unconditional love as an explanation but isn't that pathetic. in adulthood all love is conditional and it should be. you've been to too much therapy. touch grass. how sappy can you be.
but they don't reach for your hand while they're driving. they forget to ask you how you're doing. the call times no longer read 12:34:19. they're 30 minutes and perfunctory before she says baby please, i'm tired. i need to go to sleep. where in her life do you fit. why is it that you never fit into anyone's life very long. oblong creature with so many needs, spilling up and out and over everything. it's a fucking shame the first time she said she loved you it was for your independence. and now look at you.
hollow pit in your stomach, body shaking. fuck, not again. you're not going to ruin another relationship like this, codependent and toxic, spiraling. and in the other half of your brain: if that's your wife, wouldn't she want to hear it? wouldn't it be fine? wouldn't she just comfort you and you can both move on and nobody dies?
but you're crowding her! read another instagram Positive Vibes Only type of post that talks about calming your heart and your brain and your body. try to sit in silence. the thing is that you do have a life outside of her, remember? go back to it.
great news, your parents fucked you up and now you have no idea how to deal with love. you just keep wanting to be chosen. to be real to someone, all the way through. real and kept. held closely. seen as precious to somebody. why even is that? didn't you always swear that people can and should complete themselves? why are you so constantly driven to beg for love, doglike and barking?
it's just the tiny things. it's just that you have to weigh every silence and sentence like bricks on an exposed belly. you have no idea how to shut it off. every alarm bell in your body saying: this isn't safe. start scrambling. she's already going.
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGH I HATE LIVING IN THIS SHIT OF A BODY!!!!!!!!#anxious attachment#is such an UTTER BITCH~!!!!!!!!#AND THE THING IS THAT EVERYONE IS LIKE ''JUST HEAL FROM IT''#AND IM LIKE. BITCH I HAVE BEEN TRYING. I DID A LOT OF IT. I STILL HAVE LIKE. MENTAL#FUCKIN#ILLNESS#im so much better now. but i have days :'( and like .... the grief is bringing out the worst in me#im trying but it's all just like ....... bad in there
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every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.
if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.
#it’s hard because I’m trying not to push myself too hard with mono#the nerve damage stuff is scary#so I’m doing my best to have a zen attitude about all these goings on#but like another surprise 3.5k expense?? how is anyone supposed to live in this world?#there will reach a point where I’m forced to sell this house.#because I don’t know how much longer I can do this all#sorry to be nothing but complaints recently. but things have been hard!
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more moonlit mane since you all seemed to really like her.... his friends call him wolf or wolfy and despite being absolutely obsessed with wolves she lives in Horse Aotearoa. which famously has No Large Carnivores Whatsoever. SAD!
EDIT: terfs are enjoying this post too much. he's bigender and I'd prefer that you don't interact with me thank you
#sorry wolf. but you must understand. I am fighting for my life trying to find media set in aotearoa. so I have MADE MY OWN STORY#artists on tumblr#moonlit mane#here he is all grown up...#of course you have a periwinkle mane and ponynouns#my little pony#mlp#this story (includes 5 other characters! haven't posted about them yet but they're on my artfight @thing) is ENTIRELY set in aotearoa#or. aoneighroa. or whatever#because dude. mlp being set in Fantasy United Stated of America was really getting to me. sorry guys but america is inescapable right now#so my story [: is about ponies growing up and living in the SOUTHERN hemisphere. with experiences I can genuinely relate to#IT'S BEEN SO FUN SO FAR#CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE MORE STUFF ABOUT IT
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Before Jason makes his debut as Red Hood, he goes apartment hunting.
And the thing about Gotham is, all of the apartments that would make for good safe houses, are safe houses. The Bat’s safe houses. If Jason wants to set up shop, he’s got to get creative. This means being willing to look the other way about some things. Namely, living with other people.
Jason gets a roommate.
Sure, he’d found a couple of spots that fit some of the criteria he used for making safe houses, but not all apartments were equal. And having a semi-functioning civilian cover was useful. Sometimes.
All this to say that Jason responded to a craigslist post of some guy looking for a roommate. The post was written well enough, decent grammar and a fair enough price. Unlike some of the places he’d “toured.”
He has to trudge up a few flights of stairs to get to the place, because roof access is always high on the priority list, and knocks on the door. He waits a few minutes, hears someone check the peephole, and then the sound of at least five separate locks being undone.
With the door finally open, he gets a good look at the guy’s face. Too good of a look, actually.
Because the man who opens it is Dick Grayson.
#jason todd#dick grayson#red hood#nightwing#batman#does dick recognize him? either way hijinks ensue#jason and dick as roommates both trying to live cheap af vigilante lifestyles without taking bruce’s money#dick’s undercover on a long op with bruce and needs a trackable identity to convince whoever to recruit him#jason doesn’t know this. what he does know is that dick lives off cereal and dirty socks and he refuses to live like this#dick thinks it’s either a coincidence his roommate looks/acts like his dead brother or that he’s been made and someone is trying to prove#he’s a wayne to blow his cover. lex is high on his list for his ability to make clones. jason honestly can’t tell if dick thinks it’s him#and tries to hide that he’s back. both of them are in subtly trying to get the other to admit something#all it takes is one old nickname slip up and the cats outta the bag#also angst because dick convinces jason he was missed and he tried to avenge him when he realizes he’s not a clone#i think these two would be hilarious roommates. does the pit make an appearance at all?#maybe someone genuinely tries to break into their shitty apartment and jason breaks the guys arm because he sees someone enter dick’s room#that isn’t his brother. they keep odd hours and jason is trying to build his criminal empire.#at least one of them comes back beaten up and needs stitches. where they’re in the kitchen fixing the other up while they both ignore#they’ve figured the other out. it comes to a head when they’re both out and nightwing needs to be brought back to the cave#so hood goes on their comms and summons the batclan to come get him.#also ft. jason’s ptsd ridden ass and nightwing’s stellar comedy#batsiblings#batbros#batfamily
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Fear Toxin had an unintended side effect of the people of Gotham.
So! When Jonathan Crane was first testing his Fear Toxin, he was only ever testing on the Inmates at Arkham. And suprisingly a lot of the Patients there were from outside of Gotham (before it was converted into a revolving door of a Prison, it actually used to be an Asylum for the mentally ill. Who knew?).
Since he had so many Test Subjects from outside of Gotham, by pure coincidence he never actually got to test his Fear Toxin on a Born and Raised Gothamite. The first time he saw the effects of his Toxin on the people of Gotham, was his first Terror Attack on the City.
And it did not go as planned.
As it turns out, the People of Gotham are mostly Liminals due to the high percentage of Ectoplasm in the area the City was built on. And unfortunately for Scarecrow, Ectoplasmic Beings like Liminals have a very different reaction to distilled Fear than normal people.
Their Bodies process it differently, it is filtered by their Ectoplasm into pure energy, and that energy is directed straight into their Dopamine Centers.
Basically, Fear Toxin is Weed for Liminals.
Scarecrow accidentally released a cloud of pure Weed into the City. And the people loved it. It wasn't long before he was being inundated with requests for more of his "Product" from every single Crime Boss in the City.
This wasn't what he wanted! He wanted to see them squirm and riot in unadulterated Terror! He wanted to see them attack eachother in Fear, not raid the nearest 7/11 trying to satisfy their Munchies!
But whenever he tried to make a new Strain of Fear Toxin to get them with, they all rejoiced at his "New Product"! It was sickening!
He should have moved to Metropolis.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Scarecrow#Jonathan Crane#Fear Toxin is just Weed for Liminals#That's why Ghosts haunt the Living#Poltergeists are just Ghost Stoners looking for a High on some good old fashioned Human Fear#Though they might need to try out that new thing they've been hearing about from Gotham#The Bats obviously arrest Crane#But the first time they did it while tweaked off their minds because they didn't know to expect a Gas Attack#Batman spent that entire night munching on the Lolipops he kept in his Utility Belt#Not that anybody who saw that would remember#They were too busy trying to break open the nearest vending machine to get their Munchies
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I think a major point that the live action completely misses and honestly a lot of people haven’t brought up. Is that in the original Nani WANTS Lilo around. Yes because Liko needs her and no one else understands Lilo like she does. But also because Nani needs Lilo just as much as Lilo needs her. Lilo was just as much all Nani had left same as Lilo. And to just not acknowledge that. To pretend like Nani stayed with Liko just out of some grander sense of responsibility and it’s “what she’s supposed to do” is to throw away their sisterhood.
The whole live action is Lilo talking about how smart and kind and amazing Nani is and how she has all these dreams and how she was really good at all these things until Lilo. Not once does it seem like Nani is even interested in Lilo or her hobbies outside of her responsibly to look after her as her older sister. She doesn’t care that Lilo’s been kicked out of hula class even tho Lilo in the OG loves hula, she immediately wants to take stitch back to the pound and then goes on a whole tirade about how you can’t let Lilo “trick” you into doing all these things, she doesn’t care when Lilo tries to show her the Elvis CD trick, She not there surfing with Lilo cause it’s an enjoyable pastime and something she loves and wants to share with her sister she’s there because it’s her new job.
Through out the movie Nani is part of the people that make Lilo feel ostracized which is completely antithetical to the original movie where Nani is fighting so hard to make the world a place Lilo feels accepted in.
So no the movie didn’t need to be a one to one remake of the original but it shouldn’t be a completely different movie either because then what’s the fucking point!!!
In this version I’m not even convinced that Nani actually LIKES Lilo.
And honestly the film doesn’t try and convince you that she should. Lilo is indistinguishable from any other movie child that is either a bundle of destructive chaos or just a mini adult both played for jokes.
#I’m tired of live action being treated as the mature relatsic final evolution of animation#like animation is for babies so here’s a realistic take on the story#honestly they should hire more tv directors for their remakes if they wish to continue#atleast they know how to innovate while still staying in line with the actual fucking style and story of the property#god I honestly would have respected them more if they just fully commited to making the story told from Nani’s perspective#like just an actually new take on the movie a reverse malecificent if you will#a lion king 1/2 even#we still get a more “mature story about Nani’s struggles trying to raise Lilo occasionally interrupted by alien shenanigans#which is what this movie essentially was but atleast this take actually has the balls to be into own story#but it would have been marketed that way as not about lilo and stitch but a story about Nani let people know what they are getting into#like even if it was bad I would have at least respected them a little bit#but instead we get this garbage and it’s defenders go figure#throwing thoughts to the void#lilo and nani#lilo and stitch live action#lilo pelekai#lilo and stitch 2025#lilo and stitch#nani pelekai#anti lilo and stitch 2025
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a dænce of roëmænce
depictions of the ace experience never seem to include the nightmare-borne skeleton creature from hell so kudos to the dimension 20 team for their commitment to accurate rep
#my art#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#ive been watching the new season and god i love baron what a little freak#junior year has also solidified riz as an all time fav so this was truly inevitable#i just love the concept of a “my girlfriend who lives in canada” lie gone horribly wrong#uh oh! your girlfriend is real and he lives in your briefcase#try not to die :)
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i'm a disgusting little centrist when it comes to the was shrue's family real or fake question because to me that matters much less than the way it illustrates the experience of paranoid stress psychosis. like i never want a definitive answer because it just doesn't really matter. do you understand me. like. either way, they experienced that loss and heartbreak. they were confronted with an unflattering portrait of themself as a destructive absence in other people's lives, sacrificing human connection for sociopolitical status. they were exploited and had their mind fucked with and were made vulnerable to manipulation. answering that question makes no difference to the fact that what they experienced was real and horrifying to them. they were vulnerable and someone noticed and took advantage. there is no absolution nor satisfaction to be found in certainty, only further pain and regret. the end outcome is the same.
#🐉#ambiguity forever is just so much more interesting to me! sorry!#like if shrue lived my ideal arc for them would be reckoning with the fact that either way they were both a victim#and dug their own grave. like if they did have a family they were an avoidant hypocrite unable to bear the cognitive dissonance#of destroying other peoples families and communities while trying (and failing) to nurture their own legacy.#and if they didnt then they know deep down that they would have been a terrible spouse and parent because they would have#been unable to fully open themself up to loving them because that would mean acknoweldging their bitter loneliness#and desparation for social stability and fear of never attaining it. which a family would only be a crutch for.#and an increasingly burdensome and insufficient one at that#either way they neglected their responsibility to the people they were supposed to protect#the family is a symbolic and more immediately devastating representation of that greater guilt#and before anyone says oh you just want to absolve val of any wrongdoing because shes your favourite#shes uh. very much not absolved of anything. whether or not she bears any personal responsibility in this instance#doesnt change the fact that shes complicit in the violence of the system that enables abuses like this to happen. as is shrue themself.#theres no circumventing that culpability. carson just took advantage of it for his own gain as he tends to do.#the silt verses#shrue
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(part 4) fun for the whole family continues!!
did you spot rumble? :)
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#teenagers man#can't live with em can't live without em#HELLO AGAIN...I WILL TRY TO UPDATE EVERY SUNDAY!!#every time i post a new part i get so nervous HGIHGKLH my heart is beating so fast LMAOOO#who's soundwave tryin to convince? frenzy or himself? up to interpretation...#OK IM GLAD EVEYRONE'S BEEN ENJOYING THE LONG FORMAT!! it's much easier to draw and plot out for me as well!#the next part is 20 pages. molecular structure collapses and i scatter into the wind#DON'T DO THIS DAD#transformers#maccadam#soundwave#frenzy#transformers au#tf art#artists on tumblr#tf au#humanformers#ive seriously been waking up thinking about this au and goign to sleep thinking about this au. someone get me out of here
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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That must have been a story - maybe one we might still get to know!
#steven universe#steven universe fanart#rhodonite#my art#lars of the stars#trying to figure out how I am going draw these characters#I've been drawing live action fandoms for many a year now I'm rusty
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@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal
#web weaving#webs#mine#theme: sickness#theme: sleep#theme: this is me trying#theme: i have no choice but to live with this#so. i havent made any webs in a while#ive been working full time and really struggling; turns out my thyroid has become unbalanced again#in addition to the cfs which has been actively ruining my life for eight years now#and this is how i feel about it. basically.#tw chronic illness#@mnvart#minava#kaveh akbar#twitter#@kosmogrl#@devinsturk#jasmine deporta#anais nin#@inkskinned#rora blue#hala alyan#chronic fatigue syndrome#myalgic encephalomyelitis
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