#been thinking of this lately
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Getting fucked in a meat freezer with all the meat slabs hanging around and freaking you out because you might be next <3
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Sleeper agent
Promises,
Promises I make myself,
Like a set of rules to follow.
I remember it so clearly,
One of these promises,
Back when we were new,
Back when so many of us were new to eachother,
But that's a different thought.
I remember hearing it through the worries,
A subtle dig not aimed at me,
Or at least I don't think it was,
Maybe it wasn't even a dig,
I wouldn't be like them.
A sleeper agent i didn't know I had.
It helped back then,
The emotions ignored,
From crying to in charge,
For I wouldn't be like them.
Now the rules are overwhelming,
I wouldn't be like them,
Or her,
Or him,
Those who came before me whole mistakes I must learn from.
Too many mistakes,
Too many things out of my control,
I'm not like them,
But I am,
So I hide it in myself,
I scream from the inside,
There's nothing I can do anyway but wait.
Deep down I know I wouldn't be a bad person,
Its a different role I play than they did,
But the urge to hide it all remains,
I can keep it and cope with it,
It just costs a little to myself,
A little sanity or a little time or a little cry or all three.
I think somewhere in the rules,
In the comparisons,
In the fears and assumptions and worries and doubts,
Somewhere in all that,
I forgot that I am a human too
#venting#been thinking of this lately#maybe i do have some real bad people pleasing tendancies#i say as if i didnt already know that
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what if zura met Ikumatsu and her husband when he was still alive and they both decided to love him and make space for him in their relationship 👀
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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"NO DWARVES IN MY FOREST 😡"
"Your wife is hot."
"...THIS ONE DWARF WITH IMPECCABLE TASTE CAN STAY"
#lotr#celeborn#gimli#jrrt lord of wife-guys#tolkien#been thinking about doriath and lothlorien a lot lately and that HoME note about how Celeborn overlooked Thingol's faults re what happened#and how much Lothlorien is Doriath remade and how much it's Doriath-done-differently#but that one's for a longer post I think!
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the new baby you take care of is the cutest baby you've ever met. (a lil dubcon, baby trapping, 18+)
he has a big head with a tuff of little blond waves, and he has the brightest brown eyes in the entire world. he smiles at every face you make at him, and he takes a bottle like a champ and will nap for hours as long as you're quiet.
his father has a strict schedule set for him. when you met that big man for the very first time, you were speechless. your teeth had clacked together with how fast you tried to close your gawking mouth, but it was impossible not to with how much he towered over you, nearly touching the top of the doorway.
he is methodical, down to every minute. tacked onto the fridge, he had shown you his son's current schedule, which he emphasized with a dead glare must be followed to a T.
two feedings in the morning followed by a nap. another feeding. a longer nap. another feeding. another nap. all separated in increments of 45 minutes, with instructions on how to use the bottle warmer and how to measure the formula.
his son does not cry. his father had told you, if he cries, y'r doin' somethin' wrong. and he was right. the baby only cried when he was hungry, and he would fall into a dead sleep as soon as you gave him a bottle.
it's odd, to take care of someone else's baby. especially this man's. there's no woman in the house, as far as you can tell. the whole house is decorated very minimally, cozy and in shades of warm greens and cool blues and browns. there are no heeled boots by the door or pretty fur coats, and whenever you pass by his bedroom, only one side of his bed ever looks lived-in. there are no pictures on the walls, no makeup in the bathroom drawers, and no pads or tampons under the sink.
just a big, unfeeling man and his big, adorable baby.
but you think that your actions to get this big, unfeeling man to like you are starting to have the wrong kind of implications.
it starts with dinner. you start to make it, using the ingredients from his fridge to make stews and buttery mashed potatoes and roasted veggies. the image of you stirring a pot with his baby on your hip has not left him, and whenever you don't have some kind of meal cooking when he gets home, you answer to someone curt, annoyed, and cold, even to the touch.
then it's the decorating. you thought his couch was a little bare, so now there's a few throw blankets laying across the back of it. there's a vase of pretty tulips on the coffee table. you're growing herbs on the windowsill, little pots of thyme and rosemary and basil. you leave house shoes by the door now, and even when you're not there, he sees those fuzzy pink slippers in the foyer, and he can't help the way he chubs up just seeing them when you're not around.
you start to bring some extra changes of clothes. after the baby spit up on you more than once in a day, you bring a duffel bag with you once a week with extra changes of clothes. he snarls when he sees your clothes in one of his drawers; pretty black panties and matching bras, all laid out under your lounge wear right next to his fucking socks.
the toothbrush next to his in the bathroom. the multi-colored chapsticks in the drawers. tampons and pads organized in the cabinet, your moisturizer next to his shaving cream. he smacks his fist against the wall when he sees the finished package of your birth control in the trash because wot the fuck are y'doing taking those things when y'know i want another--
he can see you in the baby monitor. swaying in the dark of his son's room, the baby's head on your chest as you rock him softly. you're singing a little, a gentle hum to soothe him enough that his eyes start closing. he groans a little when he sees your eyes shut as you kiss his son on the forehead, cooing at him as you pat his little back and tell him to have sweet dreams.
you're making brownies when he comes home that night. his son is seated in his high chair, clapping his hands, and you're smiling at him and cooing in that baby voice you do as you take the warm brownies out of the oven. when you see him emerge from the darkness of his living room, you smile at him, taking off the oven mitts.
"hi, simon," you say softly, and his pupils dilate when you slip a hand over his son's head to soothe him. "i made some dessert, hope that's okay. thought you might wanna try my new recipe."
simon comes into the kitchen as you take his baby out of his high chair. you hoist him up against your hip, and when simon comes closer, you giggle as tilts his head to the side and stares down at you both. you tilt your head back a little, blinking up at him, and the flutter of your lashes is enough to have him rock hard in his cargos as his hands curl into frustrated fists at his sides.
"i'm gonna put him down for bed, it's a little late," you tell him. you hoist his son up a little higher on your hip, picking up his little chubby arm and waving up at simon. "say goodnight, daddy."
simon grins under his mask at the soft lilt of your voice. you try not to squeak when one of his big hands slides around your waist to hold you at your back, and he bends down to kiss his son's forehead through his mask.
"goodnight, my boy."
you try not to linger on the idea that he may have grabbed your ass as you walked away. no, his arms are just so long, they grazed you while you passed by him.
the baby always goes down nice and easy. one bottle later, with a full stomach, he's rubbing his little eyes and fussing in your arms as he tries to fall asleep. he's a mover, simon's little one--always grasping around with his arms and flopping onto his side in the bed. oftentimes, after a nap, he's facing the opposite direction and on the other end of the crib when you come to get him.
so you shouldn't be surprised when as he's falling asleep, his little grubby hands reach for you and pull.
your eyes widen when you hear the pop of buttons. you look down, gasping, when you see his son has grabbed onto the front of your blouse and pulled the first few buttons out. they clatter onto the floor in a mess, and you're not able to see where they go with it so dark in his room.
"oh, god!"
you try to be gentle as you set the baby down in his crib. he immediately sticks his thumb in his mouth with his head lolling to the side, and you try to pick up anything you step on as you hurry out of the room, trying to hold your shirt together.
it's useless. you're standing there in the hallway, hastily shutting the baby's room closed, tits out at eight in the evening.
"tha' why he so good ta ya, mama?"
your eyes bug out of your head when you see simon there. he's standing at the end of the hallway, arms crossed over his chest, and his eyes are focused on your poor open blouse. the bra you're wearing leaves nothing to the imagination--just mesh with underwire, and when simon comes closer, there's virtually nothing separating you when he reaches up with that gloved hand and cups one breast, thumb smoothing over your nipple before he tugs on it gently.
"wha--simon--"
"thinks y'r his mum, pretty tits out like tha'," simon hisses. "'f ya wanted it so bad, why didn't ya just say?"
"simon--"
he tsks, using both hands this time to grip your blouse by the edges and tug it down your arms. it falls around your elbows, and he takes the straps of your bra with it, until it's pooled around your waist and your tits fall free.
"fuckin' hell," he breathes, and your lips part gently as he hikes up his mask and spits on your nipples before sucking them into his mouth. "mmmph..."
you arch your back as he rips the rest of the buttons off with one smooth tug. your blouse falls, and your bra follows it, until you're in nothing but your skirt, backing up into the darkness of his bedroom as he kicks the door shut. you scramble to get him back on top of you when your knees hit the edge of the bed, and you're laying down--grabbing around his shoulders as you try to guide his mouth back to your breasts where he can suckle on them with that filthy mouth of his.
"knew it--" he rasps. "fuck, i knew it--"
your eyes squeeze shut when he ruts his hips against yours. your panties are ruined, slick wet and digging uncomfortably into your folds, but the scratch of simon's jeans have your back bowing at a hard angle, your fingers sliding between your bodies as you reach for his zipper. you gasp when you feel him under your hand, straining against denim, the girth of him tying your stomach in hard knots as you think about what it'll take to get you open enough for him to slip in.
"keepin' me fat," simon murmurs. "holdin' my baby like tha', wot did ya think was goin' ta happen, eh?"
"h-huh?"
"'m gonna make you fat, too, swee'eart," he says, smoothing his hand over your tummy. "saw those little pills in y'r bag. it won't take today, but we'll try again tomorrow, yeah?"
you're drooling as he fucks you. your hips are hiked up, your skirt flipped up as his thighs smack against your ass. you're not privy to the way the fat of you shakes every time he's buried to the hilt, but simon appreciates it, tongue out as he watches you push back against him to try and get yourself filled quicker. he traces your spine with his fingers, leaning over you as he watches your fingers dig into his dark sheets and grip for dear life as he gives it to you fast and deep. it's a mess of wet between you, and you know the bed underneath you will be soaked by the time he's done with you, but you can't think about that when the very thing you've been wanting since the day you met him is so close, so within reach.
you haven't taken a single one of those pills since the first week you met that fat, beautiful baby. maybe simon didn't take too close a look at the dated little pills in your bag and in the bin, the little calendar you used to mark rotting away in a forgotten pocket, gathering dust.
when simon comes, your mouth is filled with saliva, and you gurgle between barely-lucid giggles as your hips sink into the mattress. he's saying something, but you don't hear it. instead you reach down with your fingers and stuff them inside, trying to gather as much of his cum and keep it. when simon tries to cum in your mouth later, you nearly bite his dick off.
how dare he try and waste it?
#i can't write rn but i've been thinking about this a lot lately#a baby did this to me the other day but there was no big giant masked man to save me after#the rest is just self indulgence cause i need to be nasty about him all the time#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
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Sketchy sketch
#where’s Lucifer and alastor’s other hands!? doing something dirty!?!?#nope#they’re just holding hands#so it’s worse#how are they holding hands based on how I drew it?#idk don’t think about it too hard#cuz lord knows I didn’t#lots of sketches lately cuz I have been trying hard on other art hehe#hazbin hotel#my doods#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor#radioapple#lucifer hazbin
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Atsushi learned to bake after chapter 88...
#my art#digital art#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungou stray dogs fanart#shin soukoku#sskk#nakajima atsushi#akutagawa ryuunosuke#cooking my bf meme!#kinda late to this tread but idc#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#bsd spoilers#was thinking about drawing the cookie burned#i should have done that it would have been funny (no)
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archivist be upon ye
#relistening to tma again#i think the last time i’ve drawn anything related to it was like may 2020#god it’s been a while#have been listening to the magnus protocol and my god it’s so good#but heres good old jonathan as a treat#the interest has been in deep slumber for the past 4/5 years only periodically coming back to life#i’m very normal about this podcast actually#on other note i also started a taz balance relisten#what’s up with me and revisiting my middle school fixations lately#anyways#if you’re still reading these tags i’m impressed i could never with my abysmal attention span#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#jonathan sims#the archivist#tma jon#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#doodle
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if there was ever a tv adaptation of the magnus archives i think sasha should be played by the same person as notsasha the whole time.
there are perhaps a few polaroids shown briefly in the background with someone you don't recognize during s1, but they disappear in s2.
in the end, the viewer doesn't remember the 'real' sasha either, because she was never acting in the show. all you have is memories of notsasha.
the first time we actually see the actor in the pictures from s1 is in the flashbacks at the beginning of s5; sasha and tim talking, jon's birthday, sweet memories that just- don't seem quite right, even though you know this is the true version.
#anyways#been thinking about this a lot lately for some reason#something something the audience is complacent and complicit with the atrocities of the media and are forced to confront their own moral#reason for finding enjoyment in the show#something something the viewer is the Mass Entity of Fear which terrorizes this world#feeding off of their terror#the magnus archives#tma#tma spoilers#sasha james#not sasha#jonathan sims
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she’s in way too deep i fear
#happy protocol day#been thinking about how totally and utterly fucked she is lately#someone get my girl out of there#gwendolyn bouchard#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp fanart#tmagp spoilers#eye contact#jaspers art
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I think the best advice I ever got to stop myself from getting in my head over issues i was having with a partner/friend was “Are you deciding on ultimatums in your relationship without the other persons knowledge or consent? Are you having conversations in your head where the other party is a projection you supply the responses for? If so; you have done this person a huge disservice in not allowing them to answer on their own terms. You have done so much architecture around this problem in your mind that is impenetrable for anyone who was not there when it was being built.”
That shit really changed my life and honestly? I think made me a nicer person to be around.
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so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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truly the most dad-with-a-toddler-coded coups and hoshi have ever been
GOING SEVENTEEN - EP.117
#i know i'm a week late#things have been busy and uni is kicking my ass rn#but i loved this moment so much and have been thinking about it since i saw it#hoshi#scoups#kwon soonyoung#choi seungcheol#going seventeen#kpop#seventeen
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and there's a rumour that you're on ice/ and you will rise again someday
#fallout new vegas#fnv#mr house#my art#been really hating art lately I think next year I'll either give up and join a monastery or ill go insane. stay tuned
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