#been on my to-do list for a minute
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hiii question! i’ve been looking for some kutner lives!au’s that deal with the repercussions of kutner trying to kill himself but surviving the attempt, but i’m finding them pretty hard to find. do you have any recs/ ideas about how i could better search for fics that fit this niche?
Hi!! First off I am so glad I am now the Kutner mutual, goal achieved
Secondly, I have the gone through the first 5/20 pages of fics tagged with Kutner (don't worry, not just for this ask) and have come up with only "you are spring" by emptylakes, which you have probably already seen. I will continue to dig through, and let you know if I have any better advice in the future.
On the whole though—I think you're right. Kutner Lives, Kutner!Lives, and Lawrence Kutner Lives do not seem to yield anything specific, unfortunately. We may just need to propose this to fandom as a group?
#kind of a bummer tbh#but it was a good time digging through fics#been on my to-do list for a minute#asks#asks answered#lawrence kutner#suicide attempt#suicide reference#lawrence kutner lives#kutner lives#kutner!lives#dr kutner#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic recs
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I'll tell you what I want what I really really want
I wanna- (my adhd interrupts me with a new idea) I wanna- (my adhd interrupts me with a new idea) I wanna- (my adhd interrupts me with a new idea) I wanna- (my adhd interrupts me with a new idea)
#I wanna watch a show#I wanna watch a completely different show#I wanna watch that one show that's been on my list for like 7 years#I wanna watch like 6 different movies#I wanna write!#I wanna map out plot for my homebrew universe#I wanna design a new dnd class#I wanna go to fuckin sleep#I wanna order some food#I wanna read a book#I wanna watch YET ANOTHER entirely different tv show#I wanna think of a christmas present for my best friend#and I want to do all of these things in the next 5 minutes#me @ my executive function system: SO TELL ME WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT#anyway it's 10:30 in the morning I'm going to bed
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Doodles based on my terumob sims save
Someone ask him for the love of god
#art#artists on tumblr#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#terumob#shigeo kageyama#i had forgotten I made a teru who was a 5 star a list celebrity#and had him meet a shigeo who I hadn’t done much with#he fell in love with him immediately???#like within 5 minutes they had a romance bar already#I don’t know what happened#I do have some mods but its never done anything like that before#also don’t worry#im still working on my detective au#I’ve just been addicted to playing sims 4
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i may be a bit too late but here's squilf playing with her tail for the squilf anon!!! i hope they see this :,-)
#I GOT THE ASK but i just got so busy and i thought it was cute so i kept it and i wasnt even taking wc requests but i still put it on my to#do list but i got so busy with finals </3#my art#do not copy trace or steal#squirrelflight#wc#wc art#this is super sketchy because i just saw what happened with the squilf anon and its been like. almost a week but xd#^ forgot to finish my thought its also seven minutes to midnight and i woke up super early and i am very tired#but i felt a sense of urgency to do this#i know i cant speak for everyone but i personally found the ask cute :( i hope this makes up for it and one of these days when i can give#it genuine time ill redo this
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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bad and useless forever. incurable
#forget everything as soon as im meant to do it forget that i have assignments#“vee make a list at the beginning of the week” i DO and it doesnt WORK#im doing all the time management things but i open up my laptop and wow now ive been on tumblr dot com for three hours#AND I DONT KNOW HOW I GOT THERE#oh but yeah of course i have perfect recall of everything about the interest but cant remember the most basic school assignment#dont know when i need to leave my house to get to school on time and roll up to friends houses thirty minutes late#but i can tell you exactly what happens in hit indie game in stars and time!! and then not shut up for three hours!!#been trying to do this assignment for three hours and i havent even started yet this is great. fantastic#does everyone have this or am i just Like That#someone mentioned isat twenty minutes ago and i havent calmed down yet because i get too excited whenever someone talks about my thing#hate it here so bad#and i WANT to learn things i want to KNOW but also i cannot pay attention at all ever to them because ????#what happened in my lecture yesterday?? who knows!! i was focusing really hard on not forgetting to print my lab on the way out!!
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Kudo makes funny facial expressions
#i bet this guy was actually a hoot to be around#with his low voice short stature bricks on his forearms#he seems like a guy with a lot of sass#and being stubborn or deadpan#he smiles like a damn quagsire its amazing#i use him in fic stuff to help push stuff along cuz if its left to bruce things will never progress. hes too roundabout and careful#hes all serious and driven but i bet hes the kind to chew faster when hes in trouble#bruce: leader have you seen the peanuts i was gonna have for lunch?#kudo: *chews faster*#his quirk - Gearshift - literally has the user move their hand as if switching gears in a manual car to change the gears of the quirk#kudo has to have something with manual cars methinks. maybe he had one or something. or hes just a bit old in tastes#how else would kudo realize he was Meta if Gearshift required the user to make said movements? or does that part only come AFTER it evolved#i was put in a manual car for the first time and. like a nerd. realized this is the same as kudo#and i got it to work. THANKS KUDOOOO *sing song*#also that post i made about kudo being kind#kudo cant lie or hide stuff for shit. hes so obvious and knows what hes doing with en#NOT EVERYTHING IS GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU STEP WRONG KUDO. he was being so serious the whole time with#“youre gonna die” “the world will end in 5 minutes” “its only just starting now”#this list could be longer if KUDO HAD MORE SCREENTIME-#the gearshift hand thing with midoriya mightve just been midoriyas mental imagery tho#kudo#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#spoilers#how could i forget these tags
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tagged by my beloved no.1 chappell roan stan @cordiallyfuturedwight thanks my darling <33 i can only apologise for the lack of ms roan here... i swear good luck babe has been on repeat i don't know what happened
tagging the usual suspects, apologies if i've already missed yours: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @thvinyl @cosmicdreamgrl @visionsofgideontheninth @hoseeok @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi <333 and you dear reader
oh and see here for more of my self-proclaimed songs of the summer if you're interested in that kind of thing
#director's commentary--#comin' around again - they call her amber MARK because she never misses. this one is particularly delicious#the thrill is gone - it's stunning. listening to raye again to prepare myself for genesis#bring back the seven minute songs i say!!#i'm fighting my own diminished attention span tooth and nail but i'm losing badly because i keep getting distracted#helen of troy - we all moved on from solar power a little too quickly actually this summer we should throw our cellular devices in the wate#whatcha doing - yeah i have this song on repeat to fund dua's next vacation and it's an honour to contribute.#ALSO did everyone see the chris stapleton x dua acm performance? exquisite. they served AND they ate#bodyguard - still my fav. ryan beatty i could find you anywhere#skip to the good bit - rizzle kicks are making a comeback and my god it has been twelve LONG years without them.#nature is healing. i can hear the trumpets#ok love you bye - anyone who decides to use the line 'if you can't see my mirrors - i can't see you' is an instant icon#it's uncanny - hall & oates deep cut. it's obviously fab#so sick of dreaming - maggie rogers i will follow you to the ends of the earth. album is phenomenal. what a loser!!!#aw shoot - cuntry and music global pop sensation cmat has done it yet again. happy pride my queen#honourable mentions - rachel chinouriri's new album is really great. listen to 'it is what it is'#obviously rm made it to the artist list. who else up thinking about nuts and groin rn!!!!!#vampire weekend's new album is like something from a peanuts comic and st. vincent's new album is indescribable#but if i had to try i'd say like something from a peanuts comic but if woodstock had an insatiable bloodthirst#okay i think that just about covers it! thanks darlings#MWAH#receiptify#tag
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chat i am NOT appreciating the stares i got from walking across campus to cvs in my hoodie and sweatpants as if we didn’t just sit through ANOTHER hurricane like chill man i didn’t sleep well let me get my monster to finish my logic homework in peace 😭
#spent all night having not quite nightmares not quite stress dreams#periodically woken up by storm noises (sleeping with your back to a window during a hurricane when you get shellshock from loud storm noises#- is NOT a fun experience i would not recommend)#and THEN getting woken up at 5 am by an emergency alert warning about flash floods until like 11:45 when i have a 10 am class that morning 🙃#luckily my professor cancelled class for that (and my other class was cancelled for it to)#but tbh i was NOT gonna walk 7 minutes to the second farthest building on campus through that either way#i was just gonna send him a pdf of my homework and say ‘i’m not walking through a flash flood for this class sorry 😭’#also my school didn’t do shit for this?? they’ve been sending us emails all week about dangerous weather#but made SURE to add in all caps in every one that classes and stuff will go on as normal#cofc doesn’t stop until we’re dead i guess what the fuck 😭#scratch that i mean everything’s as normal except half of our dining halls are closed. so i have to walk 7 minutes out for food anyway 🙃#BECAUSE MY SNACK STASH IS DEPLETED BECAUSE ITS BEEN JANKY ALL WEEK 🙃🙃🙃#what was this post about again??#WAIT AND THEN THE NORMAL ‘AROUND CAMPUS’ ROUTE I TAKE TO MY HOUSE WAS CLOSED#SO I HAD TO GO THROUGH THE MAIN PART OF CAMPUS#IN MY HOODIE & SWEATS & CARRYING MY MONSTER & POP TARTS#WHILE THERE WERE LIKE THREE TOUR GROUPS STANDING THERE I WANNA DIEEEEEE#wait i can’t say that anymore. uhhh hold on let me find the list. ummm. ‘i’m gonna start a scam company’ there we go.#grace being stupid#text post#personal
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so i got some really great feedback on the final draft of my star trek strange new worlds spec and i'm hoping i can ride that high through next week when i'm starting my second-last class in the tv writing program. mostly posting this so i have documented proof that i am in fact a good screenwriter so that when i inevitably start second guessing myself i have a post to beat myself over the head with.
#i've been doing some serious work wrt my self confidence but man it's rough!!!#i am getting better with it though#anyway#note to self#in other news i'm working on fic today as is custom on this most important of international holidays (deancas day)#i'd like to try and hit post on something but we'll see#cass says things#about the blogger#by great feedback in this context i mean ''positive and complimentary''#though earlier in the process i got great feedback as in ''helpful questions and suggestions''#but wrt my final draft the instructor just listed things she loved for several minutes and pointed out a couple of missed typos#while everyone else in the class still got structure/dialogue/etc notes#so i'm feeling pretty good about it honestly!!
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@wayhavenots tagged me to match a song to every letter in my user name [lmao]!
Gotta Tell You - Samantha Mumba
River - Leon Bridges
Anna Sun - WALK THE MOON
Paint - The Paper Kites
Evacuate The Dance Floor - Cascada
Creep (Cover) - Postmodern Jukebox (Hayley Reinhart)
Abigail - Paolo Nutini
Sanctuary - Utada
Every Time We Touch - Cascada
Spiracle - Flower Face
Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Frank Valli
Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
Ophelia - Lumineers
I Know What You Want - Busta Rhymes, Mariah Carey, etc.
Courage - The Tragically Hip [My fave version tho is this one]
Endless Love - Lionel Richie and Diana Ross
Say Less - Rosie Darling
tagging @pollard-zero @quinnorion @quaxorascal @laufire @mt07131 @bansheeheart @lelianasbong
and anyone who wants!
#considered quiting after the second e but was like no ima do this#if ima do it ima go all the way!#tag meme#wayhavenots#grapecase memes#i really dont remember my tags lmao#been a minute since ive done these regularly#music#music recs#just plucked the first one in my liked list#1000 plus liked songs need to be good for something beyond nostalgia#but anna sun is actually a song i play on repeat until i tire of it and then come back to it -- like clockwork roflmao#paint is also a song i really wanna force into a hawke or andy playlist [or warden. i feel it might work for certain wardens. aeducan maybe#]#alcohol mention cw#[in abigail]#grapecase playlists#lol so i can remember my thoughts
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my friend thinks i have ADHD and started listing a bunch of traits i don’t have and was reacting like im crazy when i told her i don’t have those traits
#she says i’m super impulsive and the things she listed were#no joke#getting a tattoo and going to a birthday party#it’s like she thinks if i don’t narrate my entire thought process to her about everything i do i must not be thinking about it before#she was like from my perspective it seems impulsive because i didn’t know about these events beforehand#and it’s like yeah. because you were not involved in them#this went on for like 20 minutes and she wasn’t listening to me#and i came to the realization that she doesn’t know or understand me at all#and everything i do reads as impulsive and thoughtless because she’s giving me no credit for having any sort of thoughts or inner life#i’ve known her for like a year and a half i’ve never been this badly misunderstood by someone before#which is weird because i’m very cards on the table up front what you see is what you get#and she seems to think i’m very very different than who i am#has anyone else had this experience lmao i was super anxious the whole convo#and had to private message another person in our group message to make sure i wasn’t being crazy
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just made a doctors appt for something i wanna get out of the way before i start hrt, and i feel like im gonna throw up .
#i still have to look into doctors for testosterone and stuff but. i have so much i have to do before that#so it feels kinda impossible#but this appt is a baby step and that makes me nauseous#jts so stupid its like an appointment ive been meaning to make for a year#and i just did it online in 10 minutes#didnt even have to call them#i have a few more other things on my Before HRT list lmao. but im getting to them slowly. and thats a little terrifying
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suffering from a severe case of the i don't wannas today
#i'm ...idk. 20% through my to do list and it's like walking thru mollasses#i just have to retrieve my bicycle cart so i can transport my bird's cage now and ive been sitting on a chair for 10 minutes not leaving#aarghgg
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oomf right honestly drawing faves and ocs like ponies is fun :3. pretty slay for a first attempt i think
#youd think i wouldve drawn a pony at least once in my life since i enjoyed mlp/equestria girls as a kid & yet... <- avoided horses artwise#honestly still very ehhhh abt how much i should share since its a game related chara from my datesim im working on >_< but hey#whatever ig. i can reblog it to the gamedev account later. or delete as well. who cares yknow#pre-game treat ig whatever still need to figure out proportions.. think i will draw more of the dateables n not post those tho#-w- maybe i should add em to my commission options. idk its kinda fun. what its like to be cringe and free ig#my art#ocs#not using anymore tags than that for the reasons listed above heh -w- but i fink he'd be a lil earth pony...#no clue as to a cutiemark yet. perhaps cooking or kindness related. let me go look at the carebears for a minute#but yea... maybe something to do with bravery or being sturdy... or heart related since his name has a valentine pun#-w- he wouldve been such good friends with fluttershy. and perhaps he would like rainbow. shes so similar to his younger sister#so i think in turn he'd view her in the same exasperated but fond vein or whatever. anyways back to the canvas for me#<- one of the few ways i regain my sanity in the midst of solodev work and commissions
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yknow i was a little miffed when yoimiya got her second story quest but i can't even be mad that cyno's getting his. he's been around since manga days he deserves it
#personal stuff#delete later#like good for him. also who is that. i know a playable design when i see one#like we are FINALLY GETTING PERMANENT HERMANUBIS LORE.#ARLECCHINOOO. OH MY GODDD#I CANNOT BELIEVE SCYTHE ARLE REAL. i avoided looking at leaks for so long and her animations are SO nice wtf#her WING???#OH MY GODDD??? SHE'S THE NEW WEEKLY BOSS???#SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING COOL. HER WINGS#HEY WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. FURINA OR NEUVILLETTE STORY QUEST 2 WHERE?#are they pushing stuff back. no dain quest last patch no archon or equivalent quest this patch :(#yes i am soo excited to see her lines about the other harbingers#still biting the bars of my cage why are there so many black white and red hyv characters coming out at the same time#STILL CANNOT BELIEVE WE'RE GOING TO REMURIA. RIPS AND TEARS#OH SHIT IT'S RELATED TO PETRICHOR. WE'RE GETTING THAT TOO.#wtf kitty event was foreshadowing. new talking cat#so we're not getting dornman port... :(#oh hey cool dvorak is coming back#new horn instrument!! it looks neat#ah. windtrace :/ i'm not one for co-op events i was hoping fr something else. good for you guys though#NATLAN CRUMBS WOOO#okay. overall looks like a neat update i'm looking forward to petrichor a lot. PLEASE say gourmet supremos. PLEASE.#i've been waiting so long to see them please let them come back...#also arlecchino looks cool as hell.#a little disappointed that no furina or neuvillette or dain quest but what can you do.#maybe we'll get a dain one next patch since we're getting remuria now? probably not but i can dream#checked the voice actors list under the trailer. oh hey we're seeing childe again
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